The Stony Brook Press - Volume 5, Issue 9

Community's Weekly Paper November 11, 1983

Till 21? page 2 Chris Fairhall A Press Interview page 6

The Cooking Fee Increase Where It's Going page 3

Richard Pryor Grenada

page 5

page 16

--The Fourth Estate:Editorial

"Drink One To Stop 21" Currently there is a bill before the State Legislature that would raise the legal drinking age to 21. The bill is being sponsored by Senator Padavan, a conservative Republican from Queens. This legislation has a wide body of support in Albany, including Governor Cuomo. Statewide this proposal delivers a serious blow to the young people of New York. At Stony Brook it will be a knock-out punch to a campus already reeling from the left-right combination of Marburger's alcohol policies. This will allow the President to make Stony Brook the campus he always wanted: a "dry" one. This flurry of punches came in three forms: The strict inforcement of long neglected polocies. The institution of new policies aimed at closing the bars. And, the increased administrative control of fests and parties. Historically, the attack shapes up as follows: In September 1980, just 4 months after President Marburger assumed the office of the president, he announced that the Benedict Saloon would no longer be able to serve alcohol. The official reason for drying one of the most popular bars on campus was noise and vandalism. In that same announcement the President decreed that the other 4 alcohol serving establishments can only serve beer and wine until a three year phase-out is completed. At the same time the office of Residence Life began to strictly enforce the long forgotten curfew policy of 1:00 am on week nights, 2:00 am on Fridays, and 3:00 am on Saturdays. Since most students don't even go out until midnight, the bars were forced to close their doors during the most profitable hours. The net result of this policy is that of the original 5 student-run alcohol-serving establishments, only the Rainy Nite House, and the Whitman Pub are still open. In April 1982 Student Affairs moved in and closed the first night of G-fest, and dictated the schedule for the next night's events. Students involved with organizing the fest told the Press at that time that they were no longer

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in control of the fest. This marked the first time the administration had ever tampered with a student event of that magnitude. It is obvious by their past actions that the administration will quickly move towards'bury • ing! this campus if the legal drinking age is raised to 21. The effects of such an action would go deeper than just removing alcohol from Stony Brook. It would cut deeply into student services, and severely curtail the campus' ability to gather and socialize. Student services will have to cut back simply because many of these services rely heavily on alcohol revenue. For instance SCOOP (the Student Cooperative) provides many services through its student-run business. Unfortunately many of those services do not always show a profit because organization's policy of delivering good services at the lowest possible nrice. SCOOP relies heavily on the, profitibility of the Rainy Nite House to support its other business, and the Rainy Nite House in turn relies heavily on its beer sales to make a large enough margin of profit. If the Nite House should suffer any losses in its revenue SCOOP would have to either drastically raise its prices or cut back on its services. Neither prospect is good for the student body. Ironically, another casualty of this bill is the Graduate Student Lounge, which currently breaks even. Even if the campus does not go dry it will go under, because forty percent of its revenues come from undergraduate sales. Needless to say the layout of this campus is not exactly conducive for students to meet each other. The buildings are separate and the quads spread out. Stony Brook needs its social events to bring the campus community together. Simply stated, alcohol is an oil that lubricates this campus' social life. It attracts a lot of people and helps them relax. There is something every student can do to stop this bill from passing and making this campus "dry". That is to partake in the letter writing campaign that is starting up next week. The

campaign is called "Drink One To Stop 21" and it is a part of a statewide letter writing effort, in which many SUNY campuses are participating. The object is to get as many letters as possible written to state legislators voicing your disapproval of this unjust bill. "Drink 1 To Stop 21" is structured as follows: There will be letter writing stations in the library, student Union, commuter college, and in every single dormatory. In addition, stations will also be in every alcohol serving establishment on campus. You simply go to a station and write a letter. Each person can write a total of 5 letters. As an added incentive the college 'which gets the highest percentage of letters based on the number of residents wins 10 kegs of beer. Also, each of the campus bars will be running all night drink specials for people who have written letters. In addition, SAB is running a "Bring A Letter And Drink Free" Night durinf next Friday's Tokyo Joes. (There will be ;, cover charge, but the beer will be free for letler writers) Letter writing tables will be at the door. Nothing that will happen during your college career will effect this campus in such a negative way as this bill. So write a letter to keep Stony Brook wet, and don't forget to "Drink One To Stop 21!"

The Stony Brook Press Joseph Caponi

Executive Editor ........

INews Editor. . . . ..

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. ..

Debra Silver

John Tymczyszyn Photo Editor......... .. Kathy Esseks Arts Editor . ........ Daniel Hank Arts Director . . ........... Pamela Scheer Business Manager . . . . .. News and Feature: Belina Anderson, Katie Bode, Eric Corley, Brian Ehrlich, Ben Euster, Lorna Francis, Patrice Jacobson,. Brian Kohn, Ken Kruger. Arts: Michael Barrett, Greg D'Auria, Philip Garfield, Hlubert Moore, Ralph Sevush, D.J. Zauner. Photo: Cathy Dillon, Gail Matthews, Dave Morrison, Scott Richter, Haluk Soykan. Maria Mingalone . . . . ..... . . . . . . . . ... .R. Gambol Charles Lane . . . . . Egan Gerrity Production .... . John Tom Office Manager ............ Ad Design . Graphics ..

The Stony Brook Press is published every Thursday during the academic year by The Stony Brook Press, Inc.,- a student run and student funded not-for-profit corporation. Advertising policy does not necessarily reflect editorial policy. The opinions expressed in letters and viewpoints do not necessarily reflect those of our staff. Phone: 246-6832 Office: 020 Old Biology S.U.N.Y. Stony Brook Stony Brook, New York 11794

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The Cooking Squeez e Fee Increases Examined by Ken Falk and Tom Kanyock You are in the end-hall lounge preparing dinner. Everything is just right; the pan is on the stove, the salad is tossed and the shrimp is breaded. Your mouth begins to water as you put the shrimp into the pan; but nothing happens-the stove does not work. Feeling dejected, you return to your room having to settle, instead, for a bowl of mushy corn flakes. While eating you pick up the paper and read, "DORM COOKING FEE TO BE INCREASED BY 37%." Dr. Robert Francis, Vice-President for Campus Operations, has explained that the increase is needed to pay for garbage carting, student employment for the Garbage Removal Service and the imposing of a dorm cooking utility fee. He said. that Grand Carting, a local garbage carting service, takes the garbage from campus to a landfill. They are under contract of $137, 000 for the dorms per year. Francis added that, according to a recent student survey, roughly 75% of the garbage removed from the dorms is directly from dorm cooking, and he felt that dorm cooking should start paying its share of the carting costs; something that has not been done in the past. He put this figure, beginning with the '84/ '85 school year, at $70,000, and pointed out that this is well below 75% of the carting costs. When asked what new services will be provided by the increase, Francis said, "There will be no new services provided, except that garbage will be picked up twice a day instead of once." Currently, garbage is only picked up twice a day in Langmuir and James. Brian Kohn, Student Coordinator of the Dorm Cooking Program, in charge of garbage removal, said that "to double the garbage collection everywhere on campus would cost an additional $150,000. He added that, "there are areas on campus which can exist with only one pick-up per day. But, places like James and Langmuir desperately need two pick-ups a day." It was pointed out that there was only a $14,000 proposed increase budgeted for next year. This is far short of the $150,000 necessary to Francis reenact Francis' plans. plied, "I want to gradually phase in double pick-ups everywhere." He added that next term he would like to see two pick-ups in G and H quads. Francis did concede, however, that, "It is not built into the budget plan right now." But the main reason-why there would be a 37' increase would be Campus Operations' proposed imposition of a utility fee on dorm cooking, amounting to over S117, 000. An indeterminate amount of utilities, such as water and electricity, are used by the Dorm CooFrancis said that, king PRogram.

in order to have dorm cooking pay for its utilities, he will impose the same fee rate that SUNY/Central ' charges the state faculty-student associations (FSAs). Since there is no way to put meters on every machine used by every FSA around the state, SUNY/Central sets its fee on a square foot basis. Each FSA should end up paying its share of the total utilities used in the system, based on its size. SUNY/ Central, though, arbitrarily decides 'the dollar figure it feels it should be getting from all the state FSAs. The Stony Brook FSA pays $3.54 per square foot of the space it uses. Considerable doubt has been raised to the fairness of applying this rate to the Dorm Cooking Program. Gary Matthews, Director of Residential Maintenance, said that the square footage of the end-hall lounges in G and H quads will be charged to the Dorm Cooking Program. No utility fee will be assesses for suites, but suite residents will feel the charges, anyway. Arthur Swerdloff, Associate Director of Polity Hotline, said, "Francis wants to arbitrarily charge for the entire space in the endhall lounges, which are open to everyone. This is based on arbitrarily using the FSA figures, which are arbitrarily decided on by SUNY/Central. There are too many 'arbitraries'. The relation between SUNY/Central and the Stony Brook Dorm Cooking Program is not close enough. No one has any

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idea if Francis' utility figures for dorm cooking are near reality." One major problem with the Dorm Cooking PRogram is extermination. Stony Brook currently pays $30,000 a year to have the dorms exterminated. In contrast, SUNY/Binghamton, approximately the same size as Stony Brook. pays $1800 a year to have its entire campus exterminated. Francis feels that this difference in exterminating costs is due to dorm cooking. Further analysis of the proposed budget shows that other costs, such as state workers, supplies and overhead expenses, are fixed costs and are beyond the control of the Dorm Cooking Program. However, equipment costs are not. A new line has been added to the budget to cover purchasing new equipment. Barry Elkayam, another Polity Hotline supervisor, said, "Wouldn't it be a better idea to put this money into the replacement and repair lines of the budget, to fix what we already have, before buying new equipment that will end up needing repairs anyway?" Although the administration has proposed to increase the Dorm Cooking Fee and to instate the "2.5 cubic foot refrigerator rule", Francis firmly stated, "By no means is there a 'master plot' to implement a mandatory meal plan or to reduce the student participation in dorm cooking." He went on to say that "we are committed to the Dorm Cooking Program." Hle denied

that the 2.5 rule had anything to do with dorm cooking, saying that he is not concerned with the size of the refrigerators, per se, but he is worried about the electrical draw on the connected load wires in the dorms. George Marshall of the Department of Environmental Health and Safety on the other hand, reported that there are relatively few fire or electrical incidents due to dorm cooking. Francis said that he will listen to and consider any workable alternate ideas. Polity Hotline has proposed one such idea. Swerdloff stated, "Since the MAs are already responsible for check-in and periodic spot checks, why not make them, as part of their duties, check the electrical draw on all refrigerators. This can be easily done with an ampmeter." Matthews said, "The first step to resolve this dilemma, for the short term, is to improve what we already have with the current budget. For the' long term projects, hopefully with State funding, we can concentrate on the major improvements." David Gamberg, Polity President, said that, at this time, a study is being done by a Dorm Cooking Task Force, to see if the 2.5 rule and the "proper" amperage per refrigerator is, in fact, within the guidelines of Fire Safety codes. They know it will take some time but, hopefully, in the end, they will have the necessary answers to make a formal proposal to the ad111 ii~~t

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The Dorm Cooking Budget BUDGET

Al tuui 82/83

Revenues:

Estimnuled 83/84

s630,000

S 700,000

S

133,200 14, ,/-8 123.571 31,86,5 30, 149 ,O0, 1

s I 50,000 180,000 130,000 0.0000 10.000 -0

0 5,52 3 24,885

8/85 S 960, 000

85/86 S , 056,000

86'87 $1, 161.600

Expenses:

Cleaners .Students 1 Supplies

Ex tertination \ Equipment Repair Equipment Repluace L-quipmen \e\'l Equilmnent \ew Bee4tlts Olverhead St'rut ura! ,uanitenance Cartinq L ities 7o/al /ipcn/ses Surplus (Deficit) : Cunulative Surplus (Deficit):

\o/es:

I. 2. 3. 3.

/162,000 19-i.-00 1. ,000 .,.000 -..,000 0800 -000 .000

S I 74.960 209,952 1 57.300 .i8,.100

0 0.000 37,800

25,000 5-000 55,692 30,000 70.000 1/ 7.794

27,500 58,320 60, 760 33,000 77,000 129,573

30.250 62.986 66,313 36,300 84,700 172,531

1589.175

$667.SO0

s983,886

S1,073,574

S,171,.535

4 1,023

32,200

(23,886)

(77,574)

73.223

49,337

31, 764

.8,.400

S188.957 226.748 173.030 53,240 53,240 53,240

(9,935) 21,829

AllH'wuqes are l-orecasted to i/Vrease 8 in 84/85, and 5t per year thereafter. Benefits are budqeted at 30 p of cleaner waqes.

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Overhead is hudqeted at 6' of the sum of other expenses. 4. Other ex.penses ure forecasted to increase 10'%per \Year.

5. Utilities are budqeted in 84/85 at the FSA rate for 83/84.

November 11, 1983

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The Grenada Invasion Stony Brook Reacts by Lorna Francis In the predawn hours on October 25, 1983, thousands of U.S. troops and a seven-nation Caribbean force invaded the island of Grenada. The U.S. claimed they intervened because of concerned interests about the safety of more than 1,000 Americans, including hundreds of students at St. George's University Medical School. Sandra Burner, Dean of Undergraduate Studies at the Medical School said, that since St. George's University is the second largest in the world in terms of foreign medical schools, there were at least 20 or more former Stony Brook students attending. Among those were Richard Zito, a former Stony Brook student who has been in Grenada for the past ten months until the invasion. Zito said he was evacuated on Thursday the 27th and was able to return home the next day. "I was so scared, I thought I was going to die. Even though I dod not think the medical stuaents were in direct danger I still thought they might kill me." He added "I would definitely go back if they reopen the school. It is one of the best schools and it has a good reputation." According to the November 7th edition of the New York Times, the U.S. Embassy announced that the St. George's University School of Medicine would reopen on January 1, 1984. Maxine Smith, one of eleven

Grenadians would have taken A- Eastern Caribbean States) Treaty mericans hostages, said Henry. did not in any way give the U.S. "The coup by Gen. Hudson Austin permission to go onto the island, gave the U.S. the opportunity to Henry said. "The treaty calls for a carry out the invasion that they had unanimous vote of the members of planned and practiced a long time the OECS for there to be an action ago." of collected self defense. At that According to Henry, on the second or third day of the invasion, the U.S. changed its reason for the invasion, saying that the Soviets and Cubans were involved in Grenada. "To invade a country because it has ties that one does not like is to violate the sovereignty ol that nation." Henry went on to say that another factor that has been used to make the case for Cubar and Soviet involvement on the is land. "The airport there is nc larger than any other airport in the islands, and though it is the same as those at St. Lucia, Bar bados and Antigua, it does not have any of the major characteristics oJF a military airport. It can take jum bo jets, and also military aircraft It is quite conceivable that thE Grenadians gave the right for thE Cubans to land there but that does not make the airport a military on< any more than the use of the air ports in St. Lucia, Barbados an< Antigua everyday by the U.S. mili tary aircraft makes these military airports." The OECS (Organization olF

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Stony Brook students who participated in an internship in Grenada this past summer, had a negative reaction to the U.S. invasion. "Ever since the People's Revolution in Grenada in 1979 when Maurice Bishop and the New Jewel Movement came to power, the U.S. relations with Grenada have been The reason for extremely poor. this being a difference in ideology, Grenada's being a Democratic Socialism and the United States, Capitalism. Therefore Grenada posed an ideological threat to the U.S." Michael Grimes, a Junior and a native of Grenada feels strongly that "The U.S. had no business to invade Grenada because when Bishop took over, he asked the U.S. for help but never received it. They were looking for a communist ghost and that was the real reason." Paget Henry, a Sociology professor who along with other professors do not support the invasion, "I don't think the reason that was stated was the real reason. The real reason was related to the U.S. long term opposition to the regime in Grenada both under Bishop and Austin. It was clearly demonstrated in the military lookup that took They involved a place in 1981." island of Grethe of mock invasion off Puerto Vieques the using nada, Rico. Exercises included the taking of hostages on the assumption that

time of the vote, Grenada was absent, therefore the vote to intervene by the U.S. was not unanimous." Across the country, debate continues on the Grenada assault. Meanwhile, in Grenada, the future remains uncertain.

L

And Liberty A n [other

The United States governme?nt has done it again! Off and rolliing in an imperialistic rage, the coi intry has once again arrogantly flai unted its oppressive hand of democ raWh(ere cy, this time in Grenada. will it end? When will the Reag.an Administration, as well as the American public learn that hum an life is the ultimate -priority, w ell above the apocryphal, democra tic cause? But, you might ask, what abc )ut the American students in Grenadla? Did they not confess to affirm t he governments causes? Indeed th ley did, but as we all know-propagan da. Yes, propaganda it was, like eve]ryLike the cause of t the thing else. Vietnamese War, like the Russiian invasion of Afghanistan, like t the Russian destruction of a Kore;an airliner, like the realities of Co mmunism, like anything that t his country condemns or applauds--all the apparent truth is propagan da. The real truth only has its orijgin in the noble mind of the studeent

View

for he has the inherent ability to distinguish truth from falsity, reality from illusion. I, the student, pledge my allegience not to national propaganda but to the ultimate truth-the condemnation of establishment and the preservation of human life. Life above liberty; it is my motto. I do not believe in the unjust deaths of my fellow Americans solely for the warped purpose of imperialism. No. I must live the truth. I cannot find justification for war and death in the deepest realms of my conscience. Life is the ultimate priority on my list, so valued that I would let my brethen die for the illusion, the same illusion that privileges me with the right to dissent. No, it isn't narcissism; it is justice, the basis for peace. I love humanity, so I will condemn the effect of my cause. I love political truth, so I will enjoy the apocryphal, democratic privilege, but bestow its casualties solely upon mybeloved brethren and

look not at myself for this evil effect of the cause. No. I am the student; I live the hypocrisy. I am the student, consciously unaware of my faults and incoherent ideal yet clearly able to pierce the illusion of democratic convention, only to replace it with the illusion of peace and tranquility. I, the student, perched upon my pedestal of righteousness for the sake of mankindthe ostensible cause that serves to obscure vanity. Yes, I am the student. knowledgeable about peace, justice, and truth. So U.S. out of Grenada! You have no right to invade foreign countries in turmoil! There was no A Communist immediate threat. A A Socialist threat? threat? I, the Marxists threat? Absurd. student, see right through your proAll that you try to inpaganda. still in my mind is an illusion! Stalin never enacted a holocaust that destroyed the lives of over 10 million. Siberia doesn't exist. Innn(contuned on page 14 )

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Interview

Chris Fairhall

Press Interviews New FSA President by Joe Caponi The relation between newly elected Faculty Student Association President Chris- Fairhall and the Stony Brook Press goes back a long way. Four years ago, he founded the paper and became its first executive editor, after a much heralded break with Statesman. Fairhall went on to become Polity Treasurer and an FSA Board member, and last week, as a graduate student in the Harriman school for Urban and Policy Studies, he was elected to the top positon in FSA. He sat down at the desk he occupied here in 1980 to give this interview: PRESS: How did you originally get involved in all this at Stony Brook? FAIRHALL: That goes back to 1977, when I -ran for senator in Mount College. To make a long story short, I didn't end up getting it, but I went to a couple of Polity Senate meetings anyway, and I wasn't excessively impressed with how it was being covered by Statesman, so one day I just went down, and wrote what I thought was the story of the day about the Polity Senate. They were like, "Jesus, the guy actually wrote something and came down here. It stinks, but what the hell, he wants to go out and do things, let's make him a reporter." So I started off with that, with Statesman, and then of course the Stony Brook Press. After the Press, I decided I'd had enough of newspapering for awhile, and Polity was a very natural, logical progression. I ran for Secretary in the spring election, 1981, which didn't get anyplace, and I think I was much better off, being elected Treasurer in the fall of '81. I got on the FSA Board and became FSA Secretary. I've been around. PRESS: In these previous positions, you were often in an adversarial role with Administration. Now, as FSA President, you are in a position where your success, in large measure, depends on how well you cooperate with those same administrators. How do you handle that? FAIRHALL: Well, you have to keep in mind that, in a lot of my old positions, the only time you made any progress was when you were working with people. Even though there's a lot of times when there will be an "adversarial" type of thing, most of the time everyone will be working together. That's the nature of the Board of Directors. There have been things I've worked on in Polity that certain people in the Administration didn't like, but, I think I've always been able to work with and communicate vyith people, and this will be more of doing the same. PRESS: You've inherited an organization that has made a lot of improvements in the last few years. What's your overview of FSA today? FAIRHALL: Well, from a management position, it's in the best shape it's ever been in, and these are of course the things that Richard Bentley set up in the past few years. Susan Bernstein, the FSA Executive Director, is just incredible. To have people like her and the other tQp management people is great, and we're going to go places with that, so in that respect, we're just in super shape. PRESS: Do you think there is a prevailing image of FSA among students? Often I've heard students talk about FSA as the bad

guy... Well, FSA is a very visible orFAIRHALL: ganization. The meal plan, for instance, was something which was always talked about, and FSA's doing these things, they will obviously

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The Stony Brook Press

get talked about a lot, and they will have to spend a lot of time doing public relations. Rich Bentley was excellent in that department, and we have Susan Bernstein now also, and so we are out there, we're talking to people constantly, talking to a lot of different committees and so on, so people understand where we're at and what we're trying to do and we're making a lot of good relationships there. PRESS: We've talked about both the public relations end of FSA and the operations end, and at the annual board meeting there was a lot of discussion about who should run each part of it, and which parts are the responsibility of the President himself. Is the president of FSA responsible just for policy making, or should he be more concerned with the operational end of the corporation? FAIRHALL: Obviously the president should be absolutely aware of everything that is happening. But in terms of getting involved in day-to-' day operations, definitely not. That's what you

have an executive director tor. PRESS: You've done a lot of work in the last couple of months on the utility fee. What is the future of the utility fee at Stony Brook? FAIRHALL: Unfortunately now., it has the same future here as it does through the rest of the state. This year coming up we're paying $309,000, and next year it's going to be going up again. It's very difficult to build a coalition, even on the campus, that can figure out ways of going about beating the thing. It has to be taken on on a statewide bagis, and the coalition has to be among students, among the university presidents, and the FSA's and it needs some type of organizing group like SASU, there's a lot of different elements. There's some major policy questions that have to be resolved. The FSA's are providing very necessary services to the campuses, and while Stony Brook has miraculously turned itself around and gotten into the black, but a lot of other FSA's throughout the state are in serious trouble, having to pay out $200,000, or $300,000 a year for utility fees. There's one upstate campus, I forget which one, which has a mandatory meal plan running at full capacity, and because the fee was so expensive, they had to close out one of their cafeterias. I can't imagine what sort of chaos that created in a place that had been running at full before. PRESS: Are there any existing FSA operations that are jeopardized seriously, at this point, to the extent that they might go the way of the James Pub? Are any of FSA's operations losing enough money so that they are not worth the service that they provide to students? FAIRHALL: Absolutely not. The James Pub was a combination of the money it lost as well as the fact that it was located in a quad where, about 60% of the people there were 18 or under. The drinking age going up was the main problem there. PRESS: How would the proposed 21 year old drinking age affect FSA? FAIRHALL: We've budgeted $48,000 for the planning of a rathskellar, and if the drinking age goes to 21 you will be functionally eliminating maybe 70-80% of your students from drinkingalcohol. Obviously that has tremendous rami-

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Fairhall fications. How could you justify to the state even keeping a Whitman Pub open. It's very serious. PRESS: Assuming that there's not a change in the drinking age, what is the status of the proposed rathskeilar now? FAIRHALL: The rathskellar committee had its first meeting a couple of days ago, which was a really positive meeting, I understand, but a lot of this is still in the early planning stages. We will have to see where that committee goes, and then go from there. PRESS: FSA's getting the video games on campus has been the cause of a lot of questions. It always seemed to me that video games brought in a great deal of money, but now we hear that FSA's having a problem with the revenues. FAIRHALL: In terms of the video games bringing in money, well, when I was at Polity I set up trust and agency accounts for the different colleges to deposit their video monies into, and the first semester we got that going, we took in something like $18,000. So there was a lot of money there, but what's happened now is that the use of the machines has declined, in line with a nation-wide trend. There's also a heck of a lot of vandalism out there, and the revenues have fallen way short of their projections. We're playing by ear right now, trying to make sure we have the right games, the right contractors on campus. PRESS: It probably wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that the meal plan is the most important thing FSA deals with. As you know there's been a lot of controversy about the meal plan, and particularly dorm cooking at this point. Enrollment levels in the meal plan have leveled off after a period of growth, and a Polity Hotline survey shows widespread dissatisfaction among those students who are on the meal plan. How important is it to FSA to make the meal plan more attractive? FAIRHALL: It's the primary job, for FSA to work with DAKA, and make it as attractive as possible. The chief way we do that is through student input, through the Food Quality Control Committee. I'm going to be spending a lot of time, at least a few days a week, in the cafetarias, with Charlie Thrasher, the resident district manager of DAKA, talking with students. We want to identify any particular problem areas and take care of them one at a time. It's very difficult for DAKA to run a food service here, and that's true at any campus where there is not a mandatory meal plan, because it does not have a fixed number of people involved. This creates tremendous management problems, bottome line problems, but Charlie does a lot of work, puts in a lot of time. We're going to keep on that track. PRESS: So you see no reason why DAKA's contract will not be extended this spring, when it comes up again.. it comes up again. FAIRHALL: No, I'm hopeful that DAKA will want to continue at Stony Brook. I think it's very important to have a food service that is established here. At one point, we had six or seven different food services in as many years, and that's just a disaster. PRESS: That's about all my questions for now, is there anything else you wanted to add? FAIRHALL: Ask me if I'm in favor of a mandatory meal plan. PRESS: Are you in favor of a mandatory meal plan?' FAIRHALL: Absolutely not.

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a is an emergency * complaint referral and information service. We * will help you solve your * problems with the University and help cut 4 the red tape involving * academics 4 4 * maintenance * residential, and . * financial problems. Hotline will also make * referrals for sexual * harrassment, rape, V.D. and psychological counseling. 4 We are Student * Advocates, here to serve Sstudents of Stony Brook days a week/24 S7 4 hours a day.

* * * * *

* * *

applications available in Rm 251, Upstairs in the Union.

*

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November 11. 1983

page 7

page 8

The Stony Brook Press

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* Res life regulations too tough for an all night party? * Campus bars not what they used to be? The E.O.B. is ready and willing to go all night if enough of you arell Our prices are less expensive or comparable to any other on, or off campus. We dare you with these prices:

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E.O.B., 8 • he •IMitt , based on single serve prices). Plus our taps don't stop at Labatts...We have two other import taps! Guinnessland these are available on draught...Becks Light & I)ark- Hacker Pshorr Oktoberfest (a Lounge exclusive)- Spaten light & darkKronenborg light & dark- Bass ale.

and less for Labatt's (9V

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imported bottled beers from 11 countriesl And he iLo•1tt1It offers a relaxing atmosphere that is just right to get away with a few friends...or one special one.

Our entertainment is not just a house DJ playing music on a stereo. We feature the best video in N.Y. State. The showmanship of Devestation Dan on: 11/2,11/19 The Bridge is also featuring this month an old campus favorite dance band: Northern Star on Nov. 17. The hottest studio and club dance band: The Raltazzis on Nov. 10

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NEVER A COVER CHIARGE!! OLD CHIEM ROOM 133: The other end of the bridge.

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19 and 20 Year Olds: Your Next Drink May Be Your Last! THE PROPOSAL

Governor Cuomo and several members of the New York State Legislature are supporting a measure th,at would raise New York State's legal drinking age to 21. Supporters of the measure argue that by raising thle drinking age 1)alcohol will become less available to high school age individuals, 2)underage persons from 2 1 drinking limit states will stop traveling into New York to purchase and consume alcohol, 3)alcohol relate-d traffic accidents and deaths among 10 anTI 0 vear olds will decrease

SASU'S POSITION

1) Legislators and other supporters of ralslmg the legal drinking age assume that alcohol-related traffic accidents and other mishaps will decline merely by raising the drinking age. SASU'S research proves th at alcohol is a widely available, sociallv accepted drug. As long as it is available to the general public, attempts to limit access to alcohol by age will be unsuccessful. 2) Supporters of raising the legal drinking age limit view the 21 year old drinking age as having on ly positive effects. Raising the drinking age to 21 will create many psychological and sociological difficulties th at may outweigh any social advantages the legislation will create. 3) Raising the legal drinking age does not necessarily lower alcohol related fatalities and accidents. Wh at works universally is education coupled with strict enforcement, publicity and rehabilitation. 4) Over 95 percent of all 19 and 20 year-olds who hold drivers licenses are not involved in alcohol relat<ed traffic accidents. By raising the drinking age to 21, over 95 percent of the affected group would lose a privileg,e that they have used responsibly in order to reduce the number of alcohol related traffic incidents that a re created by a tiny minority. 5) Eighteen year olds are eligible to vote in local, state and national elections. They are old enough to marry, hold an unrestricted drivers license, own a business and be held responsible for contractu al agreements. The privilege of drinking responsibly should be extended to those legally considered old enougi for the responsibility of other duties and privileges 6) Currently, underage individuals from Pennsylvania, New Jersey and other border states cross into Ne w York in order to purchase and consume alcohol. By raising the drinking age to 21, New York will be placilng New York underage residents in a position of being tempted to "cross-over" into lower age states, thereby ex.posing even more New Yorkers to increased risk. Currently, Vermont (adjacent to Albany and eastern Ne;w York), the Province of Ontario (adjacent to Buffalo and western New York), and the Province of Quebec (adjacent to Plattsburgh and northern New York) limit the drinking age to 18

STOP 21 For these reasons, SASU is spearheading a major statewide campaign to stop the move to raise the lee;al drinking age to 21. Write letters to your legislators during the letterwriting drive that will be held on your carne pus. Contact your campus Student Government or your SASU delegate to find out how you can becor more involved. For more information contact SASU at

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SASU 1 Columbia Place Albany, New York 12207 (518) 465-2406

mommom page 10

The Stony Brook Press

Stony Brook's Party Life An Inside Look

by Brian T. Ehrlich

"No thanks, I'm allergic to all kinds of facial applicators." Stony Brook may not be the ul"Well, I'm all set. I'll see you latimate in academics or quality edu- ter, hopefully tomorrow." cation, but one thing it excels in We now take you to the other far greater than any other college is side, where young Sue Crose is its social life. In other words, here also getting ready for the party. we know how to party on down. Rhoda Dendrom, her double-major The parties are usually so fantastic roommate (Physics and Biochem), that most people prepare them- is also wondering what the big selves for them as early as Monday fuss is. mornings. They forget going to. "Well Rhoda, how do I look?" their classes or doing any work; "If you don't mind me saying they just psyche themselves for the I think you're better off staving upcoming weekend and all the beer, home. Those pants are a bit too drugs, and dancing they expext to tight for you. If you put a penny indulge in starting Thursday night. in your back pocket, somebody However, not everyone on campus could read the date fifty yards asees a party as the "place to be". .. way. And those heeels are not for Meet Biff Stew, an ordinary guy you. When you walk, you look like who, every Thursday night, dresses a pigeon strutting over to get some up for the party scene. At this food. As for the halter top, if it particular moment, he's dressing up was cut any lower you couldn't for a party to be held in the Union. hide a stick of gum in it. As it is, His roommate, Pete Moss, is not every time you take a step you're exactly a partygoer. giving yourself two black eyes." "Biff, how come every ThursSue barely heard what Rhoda day you put on those stupid clo- was aying as she studied herself in thes? You know somebody always the mirror. Is that you Sue, the spills a drink on you." girl voted most likely to have an "Pete, my man, don't you un- accident? All through high school derstand? It's Thursday, the night guys stayed away from her as if she everybody goes out and gets smash- was the plague. As a result, she ed. Now stop whining and give me started dressing more freely, exposing more of herself as the years a hand with these chains." She didn't improve her "Okay, but if you put on any- passed. more, you'll never be able to stand dating record, but she did set new trends in clothing. Maybe college up." "Don't worry. If I'm lucky, I would be different, she kept saying don't intend on being on my feet to herself. Here, everybody's desparate. too long tonight." "Are you listening to what I'm Wouldn't that be just great, Biff thinks to himself. I have two tests saying? " Shaken back to reality, Sue next week, a paper due tomorrow, and here I am dressing up like it's looks over to Rhoda and smiles. Fantasy Island. But if I don't go looks over to Rhoda and smiles. "I gotta get going, so I'll see you out, Pete will think I'm a wallflower. And if I don't find any- later. I don't know when I'll be body, then he'll really know I'm a closet case. But anything's better than just sitting around. Look at him, over there, neatly arranging the staples in his drawer. He's so shy he has to go into the closet just to change his mind. Oh well, better hurry up; I don't want to miss any of the action. Regathering his thoughts, Biff begins to straighten up. However,

back." As Sue slowly wobbles across the room and finally out into the hall, Rhoda grabs her MAT 231 textbook and cuddles up in bed. "I still don't see what the big deal is. Why can't she just stay home and study with me?" We now switch over to the Union, the place where all students hang out together and wonder why

due to the weight of some forty to fifty gold chains (really copper with gold spray paint), he immediately buckles over and collapses to the floor. "Help me, I can't breathe!" Helping as fast as he can, Pete manages to grab a good handful of them and prys them off Biff's neck. "Thanks. For a second there I thought I was a goner. Let's see, all I have left to do is put on some cologne and I'm all set." "What the hell is that smell? Did something die in your dresser?" "You're a regular riot, Pete. In fact, it happens to be my new cologne. Lockerroom Lust. Wanna try some?"

the place is always so damn crowTonight, though, there's a ded. party in the ballroom and, to no surprise, the place is overcrowded. People are literally climbing the walls just to pass through. Over by the DJ is a woman who's barely able to stand without falling over, since all her weight is up front. Standing in the corner is a man who has so much gold on that he radiates a faint glow. He's leaning against the wall looking suave as ie gently rotates his glass in his hand, spilling his drink all over the floor. Spying the girl, and thinking she's drunk, he calmly saunters over to his prey, ready to pounce on his helpless victim. "Excuse me, but whaddya say we split this party and go back to

my ritual chamber for some probitory manuevres?" Startled, Sue turns around, knocking Biff with her left, (um, well. .. you know), sending him flying across the room. Going to see if he's alright, she tries to run but trips over her own feet and lands on the floor alongside of him. "I'm sorry I hit you, it's just that you startled me." "That's okay. I guess I shouldn't have snuck up on. . .hey, aren't you Sue 'Crose?" "Yeah. Wait a minute, you're Biff Stew. We went to elementary school together." "Right. In fact, yesterday, when I called home, my mother told me she had talked to your mo-

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ther and wanted to know if I had ever seen you here." "Well, usually I go home on the weekends but I decided to stay up this time." "I think we better get off the floor. People are giving up strange looks. Let me give you a hand." "Thanks. It's so strange how we never met each other here before." "Yeah. What do you say we go to Burger King or something and talk about old times." "Sure, but what about the party? You look like you're having a good time." "Are you kidding? I can't stand going to parties. Everyone here is so phony!"

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photo by John Tymczyszyn

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NOUS VOUS ATTENDONS! i

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"THE BIG SURPRISE HIT OF THIS SUMMER!"

Monday-Friday •

- Joel Siegel, GOOD MORNING AMERICA/ABC-TV

"ONE OF THE BEST FILMS THIS YEAR!"

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- Roger Ebert, CHICAGO SUN-TIMES

"DESERVES TO BE ONE OF THE BIG BOXOFFICE HITS THIS SUMMER!...A THRILLER THAT WILL SCARE YOU TO BITS, THEN MAKE YOU FEEL GRAND:" - Gene Shalit, NBC- T

"AN EXCITING, GIDDILY ENTERTAINING MOVIE...BRILLIANT, FUNNY AND PROVOCATIVE " -VDavid Denby, NEU YORK MAGAZINE "IN MANY WAYS, AS GOOD AS LAST SUMMER'S RUNAWAY HIT 'E.T." "'WARGAMES' IS A THRILLER AND A 'CHILLER..."

-Judith Crist, WOR-TV

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to millions of women from 1941-1971 to prevent miscarriages. This drug has not only been proven INEFFECTIVE In preventing miscaliages but It

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also causes cancer and severe reproductive abnormalities inofspring of DES mothers.

Ifyou think you or someone you know might have been exposed to this toxic drug,-or- Ifyou want more Information, contact NYPIRG, rm. 079 Inthe Union, 6-7702.

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WOMEN'S ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING WORKSHOP .

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Two Part Workshop Tues Nov 15 8:30-10:30 Tues Nov 22 8:30-10:30

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Comedy Night (continued from page 16 ) Audience reaction seemed to shift between pity for the blind man and hostility towards an actor who was trying to putsomething over on them. Speaking with him after the show, I found out that he was trying to get more people to believe he was blind rather than being funny. He succeeded. I thought he was blind and he wasn'tvery funny, yet I figure I got the feeling from the jokes he told, that I would like Maurice better. The last comedian of the night was Bob Nelson. Nelson came on carrying a large stereo tape recor"I work in the city a lot. der. Someone tried to mug me. But I won." Nelson used the music in a silly piece about the birthday song and in his entrancing silk scarf juggling routine. The scarves seemed to hang in the air as Nelson yanked them about in varying patterns, right up to the point where he dropped one; well, nobody's perfect. By stuffing two balloons into the sleeves of his tee shirt, he became an entire college football team, one member at a time, introducing themselves to a TV camera. He told the heart-rending story of a farmer driven to murder by a mis-I

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chievous but loveable duck using mime and sound effects. When the duck is finally in the farmer's power, he pleads " I don't want to die" and tells the farmer "I love you" in an emotional Donald Duck voice. When the farmer announces his intention to kill the duck anyway the "aw" of protest from the audience stopped the show. Nelson broke character and said "I'll let the duck go if a girl from the audience will come home with me and do whatever I say tonight." The farmer eats the duck whole, but the duck is freed in the end by a sneeze. John Mulrooney was also on the bill and I had been looking foward to seeing him. Mulrooney had me in stitches as the MC of a summer show S.A.B. Speakers put on a few years back. Unfortunately, he had car trouble and never arrived. The comics had taken their final bows and Beres was winding down the night, when as fate would have it, he picked on the wrong guy, the man who owned the mikes. "Watch it" said the bearded man in black and with the push of a button-r

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Club Calendar HOFSTRA UNIVERSITY 11/13 Men without Hats

AVERY FISHER HALL Keith /arrett S 12/3 George Winston Su 12/11 Johnny Copeland Waitresses Itals & Roots Radics Lauden Wainwright ///

IRVING PLAZA

F 11/18 Su 11/19 W 11/23 F & S 17/25 & 26

MADISON SQUARE GARDEN Penn. Plaza Th & F 11/17 & 18 Genesis Kinds and Huey Lewis F 17/25

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Johnny Copeland F 11/18 Waitresses S 11/19 Itals & Roots Radics W 11/23 Lauden Wainwright III F & S 11/25 & 26 CARNEGIE HALL David Bromberg and Taj Mahal S 11/12 Hubert Laws/Bob James/the s 11/19 David Sanborn Group Don McLean Th 11/23 F 12/2 Michael Franks & Purim CBGB 315 Bowery (at Bleeker) F 11/71 Soviet Sex S 1 /12 Egyptians Negative Approach/NiMat. S 71/12 hilistics/Sacred Denial

Bush Tetras

(continued from page 5 )

cent people aren't sent there simply for speaking out; it is only an attempt to instill fear in my mind. The arms race is absurd! Bah! Monimbo is pure irrational specuThe Cuban crime wave? lation. It is all propaganda. My intention-rebellion, my guise-peace, my world-ideal; I have the truth. I heed not the plight of oppression. I heed not Lech Walesa, Pope John Paul II, or the countless amount of other freedom fighters known to none. I heed peace-the peace that terminated the Children's Revolt, the peace responsible for the post-war purge of millions of Vietnamese, the implicit peace of Communism, the peace that will one day mark the fall of Friend, I still say, this country. "It is all propaganda." A very infamous Communist leader once said, during the genesis of Socialist development, that Socialism is a progressive establishment; page 14

The Stony Brook Press

212-982-4052

212-620-0515

7th Ave 31-33 st

M 12/5

NASSAU COLLISEUM Loverboy and Zebra Su 11/20

RITZ 11th between 3rd & 4th 21: 2-228-8888 Trio F 11/11 Lords of the New Church S 11/13 Chaz lankel W 77/16 BB King Th 11/17 Nick HeywarJ F & S 11/18, 19 B 52s M, T& W7 1/21, 22 & 23 Th 11/24 jo Boxers F 1/25 Huey Lewis Kissing the Pink

F 77/77 F 11/11 w 11/16

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BOTTOM LINE 15 W 4th 212-228-7880 James "Blood." Ulmer F 711/17 Chris Rush S 11/12 Roomful of Blues M 11/14 the Phil Woods quintet T 11/15 Chris Hillman, Bernie Leadon, AI Perkins, W 11/16 & Jerry Schiff Th 11/1 7 Firefall/Phil Garland

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F 11/18 Burning Spear Hunters & Collectors S 11/19 S 11/26 TroggsfSwinging Madisons Urban Blight/Del Lords/ F 11/11 Drongos

BEACON THEATRE Broadway & 74th The Clarke/Duke Project F 11/71 S 11/12 the Animals 1/18,719 F& S Joan Baez S 11/26 The Band

DANCETERIA Certain Generals

Chargit 212-944-9300

Teletron 212-947-5850

by Kathy Esseks

S 11/26

ROSELAND Broadway at 52 St. Soft Cell F 1/171 Men without Hats F 11/18 Big Country F 11 12/9

SUSB the Alarm Jerry Garcia

s 12/10 Su 12/4

Letterit -would spread into Europe, the ience and reflection can alter one's Middle East, Latin America, and to life. All truth has its basis in exall corners of the world, only to re- perience, not in the "noble cause alize its ultimate destiny in the de- of the student." Yes, I was torn struction of the U.S. of A., the epi- from Disneyland and cast into the tome of freedom. The same man actuality of existence, only to find said, "Give me the minds of your my reality an illution, my truth a young people, and I will rule the paradox. The truth has no necesworld." We noble young students, sity for false sustenance derived are we to believe this? We now the from critical dissent, but in itself truth! We must condemn what we is an entity inseparable from the are compelled to condemn! We see Democratic cause. Many realize reality! We must speak out against this, only too late. Others don't, this absurd invasion of Grenada! only to live their ives masking their Yes, I am the student-blinded by self constructed bogus causes and unrelenting resentment and motiva- intentions with the ultimate truthted by hypocritical arrogance-lost the truth of nihilism. They persein my world of narcissism. I, the vere to preach the gospel of ingrastudent, am compelled to rebel for titude under the pretext of rightthe sake of peace-the KGB's magi- eousness. I have learned that I am cal war for peace. Do not let the an American, not a student. Yes, words of this Communist leader and I am willing to pay the price, dwell within your mind; he was even if there is no refund, not for myself but for future generations, merely a prophet. Oh, I too was once the stu- just as many of my predecessors dent. It is incredible how exper- paid the price for me. I am young

and have experienced freedom. I hope my future brethren can say the same. The U.S. is at it again, this time in Grenada! Sorry fellow SUSB students, but this student says, "President Reagan, you are OK." Sorry teachers, but before I do my chem, physics, and philosophy, I must do something else. I must do something that I have neglected for so long-"I pledge allegience to the flag of the United States of America, and to. " Oh, this is madness. The sacredness of life must come before. . .My life and my liberty are one and the same. God bless America. (Not) As Always, M.R.

Brave New Age 1984 Meets The 21 Year Old Drinking Age by D. Vader

your time. Those were the days when you could have a bottle of

Imagine this: The State University Campus at Stony Brook in the near future. Two students, one a senior, the other a freshperson, are discussing the increasingly narrowsocial activities on campus. They are also reminiscing: one about the good ole days he had, the other listening eagerly to the way things might have been, had it not been for. . .The

wine in you (large) fridge, legally, or drink one at Mosely's or the End of the Bridge, or the Rainy Nite House or Baby Joey's, or... Fr: Baby Joey's, who's he? Sr: Not who, what! It was a bar in the basement of Irving College. A real bar. Shots, mixed drinks, Brew. Just like the Benedict Sa-

21 Year Old Drinking Law! Senior: Things were really different when I was a freshman. You just can't imagine it... Freshman: My older brother went here years ago. He told me about the rituals they had, and the special liquid they consumed. It was called. .. um.. . Sr: BEER! They called it beer. And those weren't rituals, they were parties. Fr: Oh, parties. What were they like? A building Pretty simple. Sr: would use the Ledge money for a DJ, some lights and 10 kegs or so. At about 11 o' clock people would start to hang out. The lights would dim, a few beers chugged, people would dance, hang out, talk-it was fun. Fr: The Ledge money? You mean the milk and cookies fund? Yeah, that was before Res Sr: Life got its hands on it. Fr: Oh. . .(stops to drain a Hi-C can). Uurp! Excuse me. . .What about the fests I heard about? They were supposed to be pretty cool. Sr: Well, the biggest one was fall fest. The last time they had thai Lots bands, carniva was 1983. rides, about 200 kegs of beer. Fr: What's a keg?

Then, the Good Doctor Sloon. came. Fr: The Good Doctor? Sr: Yeah, you know-Smilin' Jack, the Head Honcho, the Prez. .. you Anyway, he know, Marburger! phased out the bars, until James Pub closed and then, 2 years ago the last one died-Whitman Pub. Fr: (Sighs) How depressing! You seem to have taken it pretty hard. Sr: Yeah, it really screwed me perSsonally. The week before my 18th birthday, they raised the drinking age to 19; then the week before my 19th birthday they raised it to 21, and now... Fr: Yeah, now? Sr: Next week is my 21st birthday, so now they want to go to 25... (fade to black)

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November 11. 1983

page 15

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Film

"Here and Now"

Richard Prvor MOF Alive and Well Here

by Greg D'Auria

and

Now

's humor isn't

angry, though, and while there is

Richard Pryor is a funny motherfucker. He's also a genius who spits out obscenities with the melodic ease of a great guitar solo. That his humor flawlessly finds its strength in its honesty only confirms that the dirt flying from his mouth has as its source the obscenities that are floating in the atmosphere of his and our world. Anyway, Richard Pryor's new inconcert film Here and Now is a testament to the fact that he stands alone and on top in the world of comedy.

Here and Now also confirms something that I've always believed, simply that Richard Pryor is his own best film. Pryor's popularity is based on the manic edge of his personality. No script or character can better reflect that intensity of his humor than those characters that inhabit his own comic pieces. In concert Pryor is free to jump into any character he pleases. Thus without the constraint of staying within one character, in Here and Now you get to witness the dynamic range of a truly brilliant actor. I'm not going to run down a list of all the characters performed by Pryor in the film, but among the many standouts is Richard's characterazation of his male sexual organ at age 20. Pryor plays these comedic characters broadly but they become real within the context of the world that he creates for them.

profanity literally bursting out of

its seams, the tone is gentle, and that reflects the nature of the man himself. Make no mistake about it, the demons that haunted Richard Pryor are gone, and he is a happy man these days. Dressed in grey slacks and jacket with a bright red shirt and shoes (No socks!), he moves on stage with a graceful ease. Richard Pryor smiles in this film, a lot, in fact Richard Pryor is constantly smiling in this film. That smile comes because Richard Pryor hasn't done drugs or touched alcohol in 7 months, that smile says life's a lot better straight than fucked up. Any comic routine that stretches for an hour and a half is bound to hit some slow spots, and Here and Now is no exception. But I doubt anyone left alone on stage for that long could do a better job of keeping things any funnier than Pryor. His rapport with the audience is amazing, trading lines, cutting people down, calling one guy "a dick." It's one of the aspects I liked best about Here and Now because it's one of the clearest expressions of Pryor's art. Audience insults are the equivalent to getting a gun stuck in your face, you either think quick or die. Pryor not only lives, he grabs that gun and has it sticking in the other direction. Other highlights include Pryor's account of the technological advantage vibrators have over the outda-

ted equipment of the male species. For fear of some heretofore little known obscenity law I refuse to quote Pryor verbatim, so pay your four bucks to find out. Pryor, though, like all great artists, doesn't give the audience exFor toactly what they expect. wards the end of Here and Now he stops the laughs and becomes a nightmare, a $200 a day junkie. Pryor's voice becomes drawn out, dazed, his eyes, his posture sags and the audience grows silent. It's a chilling picture of an urban world that would never be pictured in a travel brochure. The laughs aren't there, but something more impor-

tant is, reality. After this performance the lights go out for a moment, when they come back on Pryor's picks up the pace and closes out funny and furious. Here and Now is Richard Pryor vintage 1983, happy, healthy and funnier than anyone, anywhere. So what are you waiting for? Go there and soon. Oh yeah, here's a note for you fans of Jim Brown, the ex-Cleveland Brown running back and the star of a lot of films that no one remembers, he's the executive producer of this film.

Comedy Tonight SA B's Nite Of Stars performance that will be difficult for them to live down) and shouted S.A.B. didn't get a liquor li- or mimed conversation until they At 9 o' clock the band cense, one comic didn't show, and desisted. Mark Beres was the MC; Comedy stopped. At 9:15 the producer of Night sounds like a comedy of er- Comedy Night Guy Lavesser asked rors, yet on the whole, the Stony us to move our table closer to the Brook Speakers event was'an en- stage. At 9:20 Guy Lavesser asked us to move our table further from joyable evening. The power that be at S.A.B. the stage. About half an hour later, decided to hold Comedy Night in Comedy Night got under way. Up the End of the Bridge (which has a to this point, we hadn't been having liquor license) in order to make a- much fun. As is traditional, Mark Beres as vailable to customers the cocktails, beer and wine they had advertised. Master of Ceremonies attempted to This meant that although the au- warm up the audience with some of dience would not have to peer a- his own material and by requesting round the ballroom's columns, co- applause for everything from mamics did have to compete with the rines just back from Lebenon to Iissuing from those at the bar intent talians. The highlight of Beres' act was a perversion of Lost in Space on getting drunk. The smallish E.O.B. stage was cluttered with the depicting Zachary Smith as a homosexual seducer and the robot as a equipment the band the bridge had Beres' tin-plated Anita Bryant. booked and postponed until later in scatajokes are generally ethnic, the evening. My friends and I arrived during logical or about juvinile television. Most strikingly absent is any consaid band's rehersal/sound check (a by Mike Barrett

sideration for the visual component of his act. His one stab in this direction involved a two-handed version of the special pinch performed on his bare stomache in an attempt to impersonate Pac Man. The sight of Beres winking his belly button while saying "wocka-wocka" was enough to bring to mind the David Letterman saying "This is more fun than humans should be allowed to have" and drive me to the bar. Luckily I returned, beer in hand, in time to see Dave "The Walrus" Hawthorne take the stage. Hawthorne is a big man with thin blond hair and a likeable grin. He has this move; it's impossible to describe it adequately. Suffice to say it's slightly suggesting and rather silly. In his first 10 minutes Hawthorne turned this silly move into the most successful running gag I've ever seen. Then, rather than drive it into the ground, he just dropped it while going on to more substantial material.

Perhaps the funniest part of Hawthorne's act was the extemporaneous old west mad lib. Whenever he stuttered, the audience filled in a word for him to continue with. This had him forming a square with the wagons so the attacking Puritans would get caught on the corners. When composing extemporaneous poetry on topics suggested by the audience, he encouraged participation in this dialogue: Hawthorne: "Grass" is by Yeats Keats. Audience: Who? Hawthorne: Yeats Keats. Audience: Who? Hawthorne: Yeats fucking Keats. The next comic was introduced as Maurice, but subsequently corrected that introduction. I am ashamed to admit that I didn't catch the correct name. He wore dark glasses and was led to the stage. He was portraying a blind comic. (continued on page 13

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