The Schizophrenic Driver

The Schizophrenic Driver An Allegorical Tale By Anthony J. Fejfar, B.A., J.D., Esq., Coif © Copyright 2007 by Anthony J. Fejfar David Greene was a driver for United Postal Service in Indianapolis, Indiana. David did his job competently and well for over 20 years, not once being involved in a car accident with his UPS truck. When David reached age 40, UPS offered him a job at twice the pay on a new delivery route in London, England. It was David’s second week on the job in London, and already he had been involved in 6 separate car accidents with his UPS truck. In his last accident, David was charged criminally with motor vehicle homicide. When David’s attorney (Solicitor) visited David in prison, he discovered that David’s problem was that David thought that he (David) should be driving on the right hand side of the road, when the law in England was that he should be driving on the left hand side. David told his solicitor that he (David) was following the same law that he always had in the United States, as well as the UPS driver’s manual. The next day David’s solicitor met with the barrister assigned to defend David in court. After conferring, David’s barrister pled that David was not guilty because he (David) was judicially incompetent to stand trial at the time of the offence for schizophrenia, and asked for long term psychiatric care for David. The judge agreed, and entered the order, transferring David to a psychiatric ward.

Once on the ward David was once again diagnosed with schizoprehenia by his psychiatrist.

David insisted that he had done nothing wrong and was not mentally ill,

instead he was just following the law as he learned it in the United States and the UPS drivers manual. The psychiatrist told David that this was precisely why David was schizophrenic. David, according to the psychiatrist was delusional in thinking that the American rule of driving on the right was the rule to be followed in England. David then asked the psychiatrist if he David would be considered schizophrenic in the United States. The psychiatrist replied no, only in England.

David responded that it all

seemed sort of political to him and not medical. The psychiatrist agreed.

THE END.