The Oredigger Issue 14 - January 16, 2008

Volume 88, Issue 14

The Voice of the Colorado School of Mines, a Superior Education in Applied Science and Engineering

January 16, 2008

Building a billion dollar business Students talk textbooks A story of success from one of Mines’s most notable alumni

Zach Aman Editor-in-Chief

est in a 180 barrel-per-day field. To be honest, it was so small that they didn’t even know they owned it.” “We offered $150,000 for this property and, when I went to Houston to negotiate the deal, the

ment into something that was cash-flowing about $150,000 or $200,000 a month.” From there, Venoco used “sweat equity” to acquire new fields and expand operation. Marquez explained that

In late 2005, Colorado School of Mines alumnus Timothy Marquez and spouse Bernadette made school history when they pledged $10 million for the construction of a new petroleum engineering building. The story behind Marquez, however, is as monumental as the contribution itself. Born in Denver, Marquez graduated in 1980 with a Bachelor of Science in Petroleum Engineering. After working for 13 years at Unocal, a petroleum engineering and marketing company that was absorbed by Chevron in 2005, Marquez became disenchanted with the company’s direction. “Unocal started to become a dying company [with] not a lot of vision and not a lot of direction,” said Marquez. “One of my biggest beefs at ZACH AMAN / OREDIGGER Unocal was that they went around saying ‘people are Brick by Brick: Tim Marquez built his company one acquisithe greatest assets,’ but at tion at a time, surviving an attempted takeover by goliath Enron. the end of the day they treated Venoco acquired its third field for first thing out of the Vice President’s everybody like a widget. People 100% debt and did not require mouth was, ‘we weren’t sure if your are important; good people add equity in the deal. “For many years, offer included the house that’s on a tremendous amount of value.” we just grew by increasing value the property.’ I said, ‘yes sir’ and In 1992, Marquez started what on properties, being able to borthat was great because we got a would become the fastest growing row more against them and make house worth $200,000. You could private oil company for two years in another acquisition,” he added. almost say we bought a house and a row. “I hadn’t even thought about On June 20, 1998, Venoco got an oil field thrown in for free.” getting rich. I just wanted to do it a closed a deal with Enron. “At the Marquez noted that his personal better way,” said Marquez. “I had a time, it seemed like a good deal,” philosophy is to search for profitable little office and was paying $75 per Marquez explained. “Enron, back acquisitions that don’t necessarily month in rent.” With only $3,000 then, was seen like the ‘Good make economic sense for larger oil to start his company, Venoco Inc., Housekeeping’ seal of approval. companies. Venoco’s leadership Marquez spent much of the first two If you got Enron to invest in your also searched for ways to improve years trying to make deals. “In 1994, company, you were seen as bethe field operation. “This particular we got our first deal from Mitchell ing a quality company.” Enron property was being operated very Energy, what used to be one of the invested approximately $60 milpoorly,” said Marquez. “We figured bigger independents in the US. We lion – one quarter of the company. out a better pump that could run always like to say that we bought all the way down and, within a out Mitchell Energy’s entire assets year, we doubled field production West of the Rockies, which is true, see “venoco” pg. 5 and turned our $150,000 investbut that amounted to a 55% inter-

City of Golden officials sworn in

with state legislators Associated Students of Colorado, Senator Tupa, and Representative Kefalas announce relief from pricey textbooks Associated Students of Colorado

ket; the teachers are,” said Mason Smith, ASC External Affairs Director and senior at the University of The Associated Students of Colorado, who organized the event. Colorado (ASC) hosted a roundtable discussion Thursday at the “We have to get more information about textbooks into their hands so Tivoli Student Center on the Auraria Campus with Senator Ron they can be more informed when making assignment decisions.” Tupa (D-Boulder), Representative The ASC has been building John Kefalas (D-Fort Collins) and support for their effort on camstudents from around the state puses this fall throughout the state, to discuss the crippling price resulting in over a of textbooks. During the discussion, “High textbook prices thousand letters from students askASC leadership preare placing a college ing their state repsented thousands of handwritten let- education out of reach resentatives to take action. ASC Chairters they have colfor many students.” man Blake Gibson, a lected statewide sophomore at CSU, from students asking for relief. was pleasantly surprised by the Tupa and Kefalas had an anresponse from students. “As swer: a bill they will introduce this soon as we gave them an opspring to ease textbook prices. portunity to do something about “We have heard from students it, students were eager to take acin our districts and around the tion. They realize that for too long, state,” said Senator Tupa. “It’s publishers’ profits have been proclear the cost of textbooks is tected at the expense of students.” affecting college access and afAs part of their campaign, the fordability.” During the discussion, ASC has reached out to faculty, which was hosted on one of the campus administrators, and bookbusiest textbook ‘buy-back’ days store managers, who have also of the year, students related their been supportive. The disclosure personal experiences with exrules of the proposed bill would propensive books. “I routinely spend vide faculty with considerably more over $500 a semester,” said Katie information to make decisions. Gleeson from Colorado State Uni“We sometimes get flack from stuversity, “and many other students dents,” said Gerri Kuna, manager of spend much more.” Besides price the UNC bookstore, “even though alone, students also pointed out we actually agree with them and other unnecessary practices of support students in these efforts.” the textbook publishers. “Most of The legislation that Tupa and my books now have a CD-ROM Kefalas announced mirror legisor a workbook shrink-wrapped lation passed in states such as along with it, which the professors Connecticut, Oregon, Washington, never ask us to use and I almost and Minnesota. “It’s very important never do,” related Robert Vincent, to have a strong student voice a senior from the University of at the Capitol, and the students Northern Colorado. The ASC has have spoken,” said Representative identified such “bundling” pracKefalas. “High textbook prices are tices as a major cost driver resultplacing a college education out of ing in overpriced textbooks. reach for many students. Making The proposed legislation college textbooks more affordwould require publishers able makes a college education to offer “unbundled” books more affordable, which is good for alongside the bundles, givstudents and good for Colorado.” ing students more options. “Ultimately, we want to creIt also requires publishers to ate a vibrant, student-centered provide faculty with much textbook market,” concluded more information about the Smith, “and we think our work books they assign. “A big part this year, as part of a national efof the problem is that students fort, is a great start toward saving aren’t making the purchasing money for Colorado students.” decision in the textbook mar-

Inside this Edition ZACH AMAN / OREDIGGER

Passing the Torch: (Clockwise from left) Newly elected District 1 Councilor Marjorie Sloan (with husband Dendy Sloan), Mayor Jacob Smith, and reelected District 2 Councilor Karen Oxman (with husband and grandchildren Quinn, Clair, and Ava Osmun) are sworn in as former Mayor Charles Baroch and former District 1 Councilor Lynne Timpeiro take their seats for the last time.

News - 2

Features - 5

Lifestyle - 10

-New BoT Members (Pg. 2) -MEP Organizations (Pg. 6) -Top Albums of 2007 (Pg. 10) -Comics (Pgs. 12, 14, 15) Opinion - 12

Fool’s Gold - 14

Page 2

News

January 16, 2008

Emily Trudell, Staff Writer

NIGERIA – Arguments in Nigerian courts against three major tobacco companies have adjourned until March. The government has accused the companies of promoting tobacco use among teens, and hopes to follow in the footsteps of the American government, which settled out of court for billions of dollars in the 1990’s.

Oredigger Staff [email protected] Zach Aman Editor-in-Chief Hilary Brown Asst. Editor-in-Chief Sara Post Copy Editor Andrew Aschenbrenner Opinion Editor Josh Elliott Business Manager Cericia Martinez Prospector Editor Richard Walker Webmaster Meave Hamm Lead Prospector Photographer Ryan Browne Asst. Business Manager Abdullah Ahmed Asst. Business Manager Mike Stone Fool’s Gold Editor Jason Fish Content Manager Kevin Duffy Content Manager Lily Giddings Content Manager Matthew Pusard Content Manager David Frossard Faculty Advisor

BRAZIL - Brazilian citizens lined up for vaccinations for yellow fever after officials confirmed that there have been at least twelve cases of the disease in past weeks. Yellow fever is transmitted from infected mosquitoes, and Brazilians fear that this might be the start of the first urban outbreak since 1942.

CHINA- Due to rapid expansion, China’s exports have recently expanded to surpass imports by a staggering 48 percent. Despite recent scares from unsafe products, China has increased its trade surplus with the United States by 19 percent.

INDIA – A rat infestation has caused farmers in northern India to lose an estimated 40,000 tons of rice. Though the rats were drawn to the area due to the blooming bamboo flowers, the infestation has also depleted crops of chili, bananas, pumpkin, watermelon, and papaya, in addition to the destruction of the rice crops.

Pakistani candidate assassinated Emily Trudell Staff Writer

Bhutto was elected twice to lead the Muslim nuclear power, serving as Prime Minister from 1988 to1990 and again in 1993 When Benazir Bhutto, the to 1996. She was removed from first female leader of a Muslim office both in 1990 and in 1996 nation, former Pakistani Prime under suspicion of corruption. minister, and lead candidate Bhutto then went into a selffor the Pakistan People’s Party imposed exile from the nation (PPP), was assassinated on Dein 1998, returning in October cember 27, 2007, the nation 2007 upon receiving amnesty mourned the leader who helped to from President Pervez Musharraf. pioneer democracy in the nation. It is beBhutto was born into “After word of her death, lieved that Bhutto was an important political fam- the streets of Pakistan a s s a s s i nated by ily; her father was elected filled with mobs and riots, a l - Q a e d a linked exPrime Minister of Paki- as the people grieved for tremists, as she had restan in 1977, the beloved leader of de- ceived mulbut was tiple threats overthrown mocracy.” from Islamic and arrested radicals later that upon returning to Pakistan this fall. year. Bhutto herself was arrestThe United States governed on numerous occasions for ment saw Bhutto as an invaluresisting the military dictatorable ally for spreading democships and corruption, including racy to the Middle East, and multiple periods of imprisonin fighting the war on terror. ment in government prisons. After word of her death, the In a nation plagued by extremist influence, Bhutto was streets of Pakistan filled with mobs and riots, as the people grieved for a strong voice of democracy. the beloved leader of democracy. She worked to improve condiWithout Bhutto’s strong demotions of hunger and poverty in Pakistan, while modernizing the cratic influence, many fear that the nation will fall into extremist hands. nation, and initiated a campaign At the time of her death, Bhutto against corruption in the governwas the leading opposition canment. She was elected to be didate for the 2008 Pakistani one of the co-chairwomen of the elections, which were scheduled PPP beside her mother in 1988, serving as one of the young- for next week, but have been postponed until mid-February. est world leaders of the time.

NEW ZEALAND – After a strenuous 2050 mile journey by kayak, two Australian adventurers landed ashore on New Zealand’s western shore after 62 days out on the Tasmanian Sea. Though rough winds and tides endangered the daring stunt, the two men were both able to make it safely to shore, and were greeted by over 2,000 New Zealanders and native Maori people.

This week at Mines • Professor Tracy Camp is mentioned in the Rocky Mountain News and Denver Post after receiving the Outstanding Faculty Award from the CSM Board of Trustees. • Arthur Sacks officially leaves his post as Associate Vice President for Academic and Faculty Affairs. • Multiple news organizations mention Chad Friehauf’s return to CSM after he led the football team to its first conference title since 1958. • CSM received accolades in the Denver Business Journal as the only institution of higher education in Colorado to have more international students enrolled in the current year than before 9/11. • Mines received $81,500 in support of its K-12 program “Mobile Science Show.” • Mines received $2.5 million from Stephen Bechtel, Jr., to work on a new elementary education program for math and science. • Mines received $984,000 for its Colorado Center for Sustainable Energy. • Assistant Professor Tina Gianquitto receives a one-year National Endowment for the Humanities Fellowship. • Two new members join the CSM Board of Trustees: Vicki Cowart and James Spaanstra.

News

January 16, 2008

City Attorney of Golden, Lafayette, Sheridan Died New Year’s Day particularly well versed in Colorado’s urban renewal law, and all three of the cities he has served saw notable urban renewal during his tenure. Golden, Colo. — Jan. 2, 2008 “Jim had a winning record in — The long-time City Attorney court that would make any football for the cities of Golden, Lafayette coach jealous,” said Golden City and Sheridan, Jim Windholz, 65, Manager Mike Bestor. “He led president of Boulder-based WindGolden to victory time and time holz & Associates law firm, died again in many difficult cases, some of a heart attack Jan. 1. Windholz of which have set legal precedent was in California to attend the in the State of Colorado. He will funeral of his sister, Mary Beth be remembered for his wisdom, Lind, who died on Christmas Day. honesty and integrity. To say he’ll be Windholz had been appointed sorely missed is an understatement.” and served as the City Attorney in Sheridan Mayor Mary Carter Golden since January 1990, in Lafayworked with Windholz in writing the ette since May 2004 and in Sheridan city’s home rule charter beginning since October 2002. His firm wrote in December 2001 and presided the Charter that made Sheridan a over the Council that hired him as home-rule city. Other public agenCity Attorney in October 2002. cies his firm currently represents “He’s been absolutely invaluable include the to our city as Estes Park Ur- “Windholz had been apfar as the urban Renewal ban renewal Authority and pointed and served as the we are dothe Scientific ing,” Carter and Cultural City Attorney in Golden since said. “He’s Facilities Disbeen an intrict (SCFD). June 1990, in Lafayette since tegral part of In his role as our city for City Attorney, May 2004 and in Sheridan about sevWindholz aden or eight since October 2002.” vised the City years. His Councils he loss is going served on legal issues pertaining to to be sorely felt by all of us. Several their duties and functions, attended of us on Council are personal friends Council meetings, handled litigation, with him. This has been a very sudand drafted ordinances, resolutions den blow to us, to say the least.” and contracts. Windholz advised Under Jim’s direction, Windholz all three cities’ Councils on many & Associates assisted Lafayette significant legal issues and led them through the process of updating through many legal cases. He was sections of the City’s Municipal

Press Release City of Golden

Mines celebrates Martin Luther King Jr. Day Press Release Colorado School of Mines

ognizes the changing demographics of tomorrow’s leaders, and provides a learning environment for our students more indicative of Members of the community are the world they’ll live in,” said Mines invited to join Colorado School President M.W. “Bill” Scoggins. of Mines students, staff and facAttendees will enjoy a free meal, ulty in celebrating the life of Dr. student poetry, entertainment Martin Luther King Jr. on Jan. and a presentation by multiple 21 from 5:15 to 7 p.m. in the service organizations throughout the Denver area. Reverb and the Verse, a progressive hip-hop group, will offer stimulating music while citizens and students explore different service options. “We are very excited to be a part of this inspirational event,” said Jahi Simbai, lead vocalist of Reverb and the Verse and Mines director of graduate recruiting and admissions. “I hope the Mines and COURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS Golden communities enjoy the event and Green Center, 924 16 th St., on are motivated to join organizathe Mines campus in Golden. tions that help those in need.” The event is sponsored by the For additional information, President’s Diversity Committee. please contact the Office of Stu“Diversity provides broad appreciation of different cultures, rec- dent Activities at 303-273-3234.

Charter, organizing a special election in February 2007, and the successful negotiation of several economic development agreements. “Jim was a dynamic and intelligent advisor to the City whose input, guidance and personal charm will be greatly missed,” said Lafayette City Administrator Gary Klaphake. He is survived by Martha “Dru” Dunham; his mother Alice Windholz; brothers Frank Windholz and Ken Windholz; sons Eric Windholz and Grant Windholz; daughter Amy Lawrence; and four grandchildren. Memorial arrangements will be announced when they are finalized. Dave Williamson and William Hayashi are his associates, and will continue to operate the Windholz & Associates law firm in Boulder. Golden City Council is scheduled to consider a resolution Jan. 10 to appoint Dave Williamson of Windholz & Associates as Acting City Attorney. Lafayette City Administrator Gary Klaphake will also recommend that Williamson be appointed as Acting City Attorney at its Jan. 8 City Council meeting. Sheridan City Council’s agreement is with the Windholz & Associates law firm, and therefore Sheridan will continue to use the firm’s services as City Attorney.

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New police chief joins Colorado School of Mines Public Safety Lily Giddings Content Manager

at, Turney said, “Mines has its own challenges, but for the most part I don’t see as many problems Chief of Police Keith Turney is in terms of drugs and alcohol.” no stranger to campus security: In terms of enforcing public before coming to the Colorado safety on campus, Turney comSchool of Mines he worked at mented, “Campus law enforceColorado State University in Fort ment is different from the city Collins for 23 police. We years. Turare here ney came to “Turney came to CSM in late to address CSM in late October, and is currently s t u d e n t O c t o b e r, problems; and is cur- evaluating the Public Safety it’s different rently evaluthan city law a t i n g t h e program, and trying to help enforcement Public Safety because we program and the department become more have a small trying to help range of community-oriented.” the departages, most ment bepeople are come more community-oriented. 18-24, except the graduate stu“We want to be sure that students. So we see more of some dents are comfortable seeing the kinds of crimes and we see less officers on campus, like the dorms of others than the city does.” and the student center,” said TurTurney enjoys the atmosphere ney. He hopes that as students at Mines, saying, “It’s like one become more accustomed to the college inside of CSU. The stuofficers, students will make more dents are so focused on what of an effort to let officers know they do academically.” He’s about problems on campus. also impressed with students Not that he feels that Mines is a that participate in extra curproblem campus; since it is smallricular activities that have no er than the last school he worked connection with their major.

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News

January 16, 2008

Mines professor receives Mines receives $984,000 for Colorado National Endowment for Center for Sustainable Energy the Humanities fellowship Karen Gilbert Colorado School of Mines Assistant Professor Tina Gianquitto, who teaches in the Colorado School of Mines Division of Liberal Arts and International Studies, has been awarded a oneyear National Endowment for the Humanities (NEH) Fellowship.

JOHN DOWNS / DOWNS MARKETING

Assistant Professor Tina Gianquitto Gianquitto’s fellowship — one of 94 granted out of 1,200 applications — will allow her to begin research for a new project, “Dear Mr. Darwin: Women and the Epistolary Tradition in the Nineteenth-Century Sciences.” “I hope to show how women writers and activists in the late 19th century, instead of turning SHELL15869A 12/19/07 5:36 away from or ignoring the debates concerning evolutionary theory,

Office of U.S. Senator Wayne Allard

were instead deeply interested in showing how that theory could U.S. Sen. Wayne Allard (R-Colo.), a be used to support radical social member of the Senate Appropriations reform activities,” Gianquitto said. Subcommittee on Energy & Water According to Gianquitto, the Development, announced today he study will examine the reciprocal has secured $69.21 million in funding relationship that existed between for Colorado as a part of the Omnibus Charles Darwin and his female Appropriations bill – $984,000 is slated scientific and non-scientific correfor the Colorado Center for Sustainable spondents. Gianquitto aims to rein- Energy at Colorado School of Mines. sert women into the critical discus“The projects that I included in this sion of evolutionary theory to show bill are from every part of the state and how they were engaged in the will ensure that important projects can cutting edge scientific discussions go forward,” said Allard. “I am pleased and controversies of their time. that my seat on the Energy & Water “ I t ’s i m p o r t a n t b e c a u s e Development Appropriations Subcomit is a story that has not yet mittee puts me in a position to secure been told,” Gianquitto said. this important funding for our state.” NEH is an independent grantIn addition to funding Colorado making agency of the United projects, the bill includes $1.74 bilStates governlion for Energy Efment dedicated THROUGH JAN 21: JOIN THE ficiency and Ret o s u p p o r t i n g GOLDEN CONCERT CHOIR newable Energy, research, edu- You have an opportunity to join the account which cation, preser- the Golden Concert Choir on funds the National vation and pub- through Jan 21. No auditions are Renewable Enlic programs in required; singers must be able to ergy Laboratory the humanities. match pitch to the piano. All solos in Golden, Colo. F o u n d e d i n for concerts are auditioned from Allard does not 1874, Colorado the choir. Adults and teenagers make requests School of Mines who are interested in joining the for earmarks that was established Choir for the spring concert can would negatively t o s e r v e t h e contact us by E-mail, phone affect the fundneeds of the local 303-279-5177, or just come to ing for NREL. mining industry. rehearsals starting January 7th, “Government Today, the School 2008 at 6:30pm. Rehearsals are funded research has an interna- at Applewood Valley United Meth- on renewable and tional reputation odist Church, 2035 Ellis, in Gold- highly efficient for excellence in en from 7:00 - 9:00pm. www. technologies is both engineering goldencommunitychoirs.org the backbone that education and helps continue adthe applied scivancements in this ences with special expertise in field,” continued Allard. “To request PM Page 1 the development and stewardfunds that take away from the imporship of the Earth’s resources. tant work being done at the National

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Renewable Energy Laboratory is a direct hit at our ability to remain in the forefront of technological advances in the area of renewable energy.” Allard is listed in the final version of the bill as the ‘Requesting Member’ for the following projects for Colorado that he requested: * $984,000 for the Colorado Center for Sustainable Energy at the Colorado School of Mines; • $984,000 for Ultra Dense Memory for Supercomputing; • $984,000 to place the Northern Hemisphere Pierre Auger Observatory in eastern Colorado ; • $492,000 for the Rocky Flats Cold War Museum in Arvada ; • $60.64 million for the Animas-La Plata project in Durango ; • $147,000 to complete the Army Corps feasibility study on Fountain Creek; • $1.65 million for Operations and Maintenance at Chatfield Reservoir, including a direction that the Army Corps continue work on the Chatfield Reallocation Study; • $1.26 million for Operations and

Maintenance at Cherry Creek Reservoir; • $1.79 million for Operations and Maintenance at Trinidad Lake Reservoir • $269,000 to continue the Army Corps feasibility study at Chatfield, Cherry Creek and Bear Creek Reservoirs; * Priority designation under the Army Corps Continuing Authorities Program for the Arkansas River Habitat Restoration. Allard opposed the final version of the Omnibus Appropriations bill due to a controversial measure that prohibited the promulgation of oil shale development regulations for the Western Slope, which could result in the millions of dollars being lost for Colorado ‘s rural communities and school districts. Thefinalversionofthebillisnowheaded to the President to be signed into law. Founded in 1874, Colorado School of Mines was established to serve the needs of the local mining industry. Today, the School has an international reputation for excellence in both engineering education and the applied sciences with special expertise in the development and stewardship of the Earth’s resources.

Cowart, Spaanstra named to Board of Trustees Karen Gilbert Colorado School of Mines Gov. Bill Ritter has named two Coloradans to the Colorado School of Mines Board of Trustees. Vicki J. Cowart, of Denver, and James R. Spaanstra, of Lakewood, will serve terms effective Jan. 1 and expiring Dec. 31, 2011. Cowart, who received a master’s degree in geophysics from Mines in 1977, serves as president and chief executive officer of Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains. Previously, she was state geologist for Colorado and director of the Colorado Geological Survey for 10 years and prior, spent 19 years working in the oil and gas industry. She belongs to of a number of organizations including the Colorado School of Mines Alumni Association, CSM Foundation Board, International Women’s Forum of Colorado, American Geophysical Union, Association for Women Geoscientists and is an honorary member of the Association of American State Geologists. Spaanstra is a partner at the Denver law firm of Faegre & Benson LLP, one of the largest and most diverse environmental practices in

the Rocky Mountain region. He has spent more than 25 years in private practice and specializes in environmental law, natural resources and energy, land use, zoning and environmental review. He began his career as a staff attorney for the Council on Environmental Quality in the executive office of the U.S. President, where he helped advise President Jimmy Carter regarding national environmental policy. His professional affiliations include service on the Industrial Waste Committee of the Colorado Association of Commerce and Industry, Colorado Bar Association Environmental Law Section Advisory Council, the American, Colorado and Denver Bar Associations Environmental Law Committees, and is founding director of the Colorado Hazardous Waste Management Society. Founded in 1874, Colorado School of Mines was established to serve the needs of the local mining industry. Today, the School has an international reputation for excellence in both engineering education and the applied sciences with special expertise in the development and stewardship of the Earth’s resources.

Pursue it

A more exciting career experience

MEAVE HAMM / OREDIGGER

Features

January 16, 2008

Green Tip of the Week New Year’s Resolutions

Natalie Wagner Guest Columnist This week’s theme is New Year’s resolutions. Here are my responses to a few of the common ones: Get More Exercise: Walk to school! Walk to the grocery store, walk to the bars, walk to Coors lab. Just walk everywhere. The health benefits are hard to beat: walking is considered one of the best activities to ensure longer life, better fitness, happier moods, etc. (Ask Cambridge if you don’t believe me: http://www,.cambridgema. gov/cdd/et/ped/ped_hlth.html). To boot, you save money on gas and also save on the emissions. If you can’t stand walking, or are always late, bikes and skateboards are a great way to get around as well. (If you need a bike and for whatever reason can’t afford one, email me: [email protected], and I’ll see if I can help.) Eat Healthier: Try to stay away from the junk and test out some organic versions of your favorite snacks. Starting cold turkey and moving totally to organic foods is a big step, but sometimes the organic produce is cheaper than the conventional stuff, so take a closer look. And when you do get groceries, try to use cloth bags - even I forget sometimes. The evils of pesticides: Not only will buying organic support the smaller farmers, but also free you from some of the unknown dangers of pesticides: http://www. panna.org/ Lowering the Stress levels: Take advantage of the Jeff Co nature trail system (http:// co.jefferson.co.us/openspace/ openspace_T56_R108.html). After

all, Golden is one of the prime locations for mountain activities. Check them out and walk away from of your frustrations. A little fresh air and nature can make most bad days seem pretty worthwhile. Be More Green: Take the bus! Now that CSM has a fully functioning RTD College bus pass, use it. Check out www.rtddenver.com for routes and times. Take it to Boulder on your day off, head to Denver for an afternoon or weekend of culture and fun, or use it to get around in Golden on those windy days that you’d rather not ride a bike or walk around. You already paid for it, you might as well get the most out of it. Start a log of the things that you throw away, and try to see where you can make alterations. (An interesting view on the whole thing can be seen here: http://www.storyofstuff.com/another-way.html.) Recycling is pretty easy, and since Golden has a single stream system (everything in one bin) with the main collection site just off of SH93 (http://ci.golden.co.us/Page. asp?NavID=255), it is very doable. Composting is another great way to reduce the amount of trash you send out to the curb, and now is a good time to look for a spot or a friend who can help you with it. If you have a backyard, reserve a corner of it and put a small fence up or place an old trash can (check here for more complete instructions: http://ladpw.org/epd/sg/ bc.cfm). Add your leftovers (not the meats), and by fall you’ll have fresh, nutritious soil for houseplants or gardens. Stay tuned for more tips next week on how to Reduce and Reuse!

Venoco chief battles odds continued from page 1 As Enron began to hit trouble in 2001, they approached Marquez and asked for a buy-back on their investment. “We had no incentive to buy them back,” explained Marquez. “They eventually figured out that the best way to get their money out of Venoco was to break up the company, because the terms of their investment were that, if the company was ever sold, they got taken out at 100 percent. We weren’t interested in selling the company, so they got together with my partners and agreed to vote me out of my own company in early 2002.” Enron’s next move was to approach Marquez. “They wanted me to vote my shares with Enron to force my partners out of the company. I knew what their plan was and I didn’t want any part of that. Clearly, if I voted my partners out, I think new management would have come in and sold the company.” Without Marquez the company began to crumble away, with souring bank relationships and little faith in management. “Two years after I was thrown out, I was able to finally strike a deal with my partners,” recounted Marquez. “I bought them out and I was back in control of the company. I owned about 95% of the common stock, but Enron still had their shares of preferred stock. All of a sudden, I said, ‘Guess what guys, I’m back.’ I took over control of the company, took control over

the board, and started assembling a new management team. That began the rebirth of Venoco. At that point, we were making 10,000 barrels per day. Since then, we’ve more than doubled production. We went public a year ago – November of 2006 – and it’s been off to the races since.” With a background at Mines, Marquez also gave some tips to current Mines students. “The only way you can get 100% on a physics test is to just work hard – that’s my best advice to somebody,” he said. “Don’t wait for somebody to bring something to you, but take on the challenge [yourself].” Marquez also advocates moving throughout disciplines to see the bigger picture. “As you move around to different disciplines, you start all over again; most people don’t want to do what’s uncomfortable.” For those that hope to start their own companies, Marquez also advocated spending 8 to 10 years to learn the business first. “Take every opportunity and find out what those different disciplines do. There’s a reason for every line on the balance sheet – find out what those mean,” Marquez said. “After all these years, I probably know 5% of what there is to know in the oil business and I literally learn something new every day. Some people, after 5 or 10 years, start thinking they know it all. When you start having the attitude that you know it all, you’re dead.”

Page 5

Services at the Health Center Debra Roberge Director, Student Health Center

As much as we try to stay healthy there are times when the “bug” gets us or an accident happens and we need some advice or treatment. The Staff at the Health Center want to take this opportunity to inform you of the services that are provided at the Health Center. Health Care is provided by a Nurse Practitioner(s), Registered Nurses and Family Medicine Physicians. Nurses staff the Health Center everyday 8-12, and 1-4:45. You do not have to wait to see the doctor as many of your health problems can be treated by the nurse and/or nurse practitioner. What services are provided? Evaluation of common illnesses and injuries, rapid throat cultures, mono tests, influenza tests; administra-

tion of immunizations (some free and some with a small fee), wart treatments, labwork if necessary, a limited supply of OTC and prescription medications, suturing of minor lacerations during doctor’s hours. What can a Nurse Practitioner do? She/he can evaluate common health problems, order lab tests, write prescriptions and do well woman exams – including pap smears, prescribe birth control. What can the RN’s do? Evaluate common illnesses, dispense medications according to protocols established by the physicians, treat warts, evaluate injuries and wounds. Dental Clinic: One of a few college health centers that provide dental care. The clinic is staffed by a dentist, dental hygienist and dental assistant. Dental services are provided on a fee for service basis and are available to all students who have paid the Health Center fee.

Cost – Most of the services provided in the Health Center are FREE!!!! Some immunizations require a small co-pay, labs and x-rays will be charged to your insurance. Otherwise all services are FREE and covered by your Health Center Fee.

in the Gusev Crater. One major finding along the Columbia Hills was the discovery of “12 rock types, all chemically different” within a few meters of each other. Specifically, the mineral goethite, associated with aqueous environments, was discovered and indicates the likely presence of water on Mars at some point in its history. At a site named “Home Plate,” one of Spirit’s broken front wheels “dragged a trench” revealing Martian soil that was unusually white colored, contrasting with the red-brown soil. This swath of material was found to contain 91% pure silica. Dr. Squyres elaborated on the hypothesis that the Martian silica chemistry is remarkably similar to “hot, hydrothermal springs with siliceous sinter,” or an environment where acid sulfate leaching occurs - similar to volcanic fumerals near Hawaii. According to Dr. Squyres, these findings also give strong evidence of past water on Mars.

Dr. Squyres also discussed the Opportunity rover’s major discoveries during more than four years and 12 km of travel. Geologically, Opportunity has helped scientists create the first stratigraphic column on Mars from the cliff-like walls of Victoria Crater near its landing site. It has observed “sub-aqueous waveforms” on the surface that have a strikingly similar appearance to sinuous flow deposits beneath streams and riverbeds on Earth. Goethite spherules, which Squyres describes as “Martian blueberries” have helped scientists assess possible methods of Martian crater formation and paleo-wind directions. Dr. Squyres ended the lecture by noting the wealth of data discovered on Mars has been at the relatively low cost of about $900 million from planning to the current operation. The program continues to employ large teams of scientists and engineers to program and complete tasks.

We do PAP smears and Birth Control We’ve got FREE condoms We do shots (not free but pretty CHEAP!!) We have limited amounts of medications FREE! We’ve got crutches, braces, slings, and other injury aids that we will loan out for FREE We treat warts, lumps, bumps, cuts, scrapes, and a wide variety of other health issues and injuries!!

Looking at geology on Mars

Akira Rattenbury Staff Writer The rovers Spirit and Opportunity are still rolling on the surface of Mars. On Tuesday, January 8, the Colorado Scientific Society hosted its Emmons Lecture in the Green Center and the rovers’ lead scientist was the speaker. Dr. Steven W. Squyres, Goldwin Smith Professor of Astronomy at Cornell University and the Principal Investigator for the Mars Exploration Rover Project presented the recent findings of the rovers to a full Petroleum Hall. Launched in 2003, the two rovers have spent over 1400 sols (Martian days) on the surface, collecting data and surviving several winter seasons each. Dr. Squyres talked about his excitement that the rovers have greatly exceeded their calculated 90 sol lifespans and still function well. Dr. Squyres first discussed the Spirit rover and its initial findings with-

Guild writers strike lingers on

New tactics prevail as negotiations break down Matthew Pusard Content Manager The strike by the Writer’s Guild of America continues to march forward with no apparent end in sight. The only progress seen has been the return of late night television and a few independent, WGA brokered deals. One of the main sticking points that led to the strike, which has been in progress since November 5th, is compensation for “new media;” which includes distribution of shows on the internet. Negotiations broke down on December 7th after the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, with whom the WGA is negotiating, walked away from the negotiation table. The AMPTP has refused to return to the table without the WGA rescinding a few important proposals, such as ones that would place writers of animated and reality programming under the jurisdiction of the writer’s guild. One of the most immediate impacts of the WGA strike was the cessation of new late night programming which is heavily dependent on the writers. However, late night made a comeback on January 2nd upon the threat of non-writing

staff being laid off. Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien came back without a writing staff while David Letterman and Craig Ferguson were able to retain their full staff of writers due to an independent deals stuck by Letterman’s production company, Worldwide Pants, with the WGA. Similar deals with the WGA have been struck by United Artists and the Weinstein Company. As a result of the independent deals, the Screen Actors Guild has encouraged its members to appear on Letterman and Ferguson’s shows to show support of the strike. As late night programming returned, Letterman and O’Brien came back with newly grown beards as symbols of solidarity with the WGA. Additionally, Letterman’s first Top Ten list upon his return was presented by a variety of striking writers from different shows. Five days later, John Stewart and Stephen Colbert returned with hairpieces parodying the “strike beard” – Stewart with his solidarity unibrow and Colbert with a beard reminiscent of ZZ Top. Nevertheless, both hosts have temporarily changed the names of their shows in support of the strike. Stewart’s show is now called “A Daily Show”

rather than “The Daily Show” while Colbert has begun pronouncing the “t” in his last name in the title of his show. Additionally, Stewart’s entire first show after the hiatus was dedicated entirely to strike coverage. The strike has affected many award presentations. Because award shows, like late night television, are heavily scripted and because many actors will not cross the picket lines to attend the ceremonies, the Golden Globes and People’s Choice Awards could not go on in their usual incarnations. The Golden Globes ceremony was reduced to a press conference while the People’s Choice Awards had to be pretaped with a magazine-style format. Ratings for the People’s Choice Awards were almost halved as a result of the new format. Popular shows such as Grey’s Anatomy, Heroes, Desperate Housewives, and The Office are all out of unaired episodes until the strike is resolved, while 24 will not show any of its 8 produced episodes until the entire season can be shown without interruption. Reality television, such as American Idol and the newly resurrected American Gladiators, is expected to fill the void in their stead.

Page 6

Features

January 16, 2008

Meet the organizations of the Minority Engineering Program NSBE

PASES

Akira Rattenbury Staff Writer

PASES, or the Professional Asian Society of Engineers and Scientists, is one of four campus groups organized under the Minority Engineering Program (MEP). Founded last semester, the organization was created in place of the former Asian Student Association (ASA). The group offers open membership, including both Asian and non-Asian students for $15 a year. “PASES does not discourage anybody from joining.  We have members from all backgrounds and ethnicities.  You don’t have to be Asian to join,” said Rachel Nii, Vice President of PASES and one of the founding members. Building on the social and cultural aspects of ASA, PASES

SHPE

David Sommer Staff Writer

On Friday, January 11, MEP held its kickoff meeting for the spring semester. Among the various organizations present was the Society of Hispanic Professional Engineers, eager to get the year underway and continue their pursuit of cultural unity and professionalism. The Society of Hispanic Professional Engineers was created in 1974 by a group of Los Angeles engineers. Their goal was to establish a national engineering organization that would serve as a standard of excellence for the Hispanic community through networking, communication, and a strong sense of cultural heritage. “We are brought together by heritage, social responsibility and desire to improve the equality of all people through the use of science and technology,” says SHPE’s national statement of values. This idea has served as the foundation for the program’s commitment and is an integral part of its members’ activities and guidance. Above all, SHPE values “excellence in education, professional pursuits and leadership” and obtains these through “integrity, empowerment, achievement, diversity and continuous improvement.” Members find greater educational opportunities that fall in line with the vision of professional and personal growth held by the organization. SHPE arrived on the Mines campus in 1987 under the leadership of Don Velazquez. Since then, it has

incorporates many popular past programs. “We hosted an ice cream social with the AISES pizza party in the fall, this spring we hope to go to the Alpine Slide at Heritage Square and possibly bowling,” said Nii. General meetings are held twice a month on Wednesdays at noon. The first meeting this semester is January 23 in Alderson Hall, room 340. Regular sales throughout the year of lumpia, a type of Southeast Asian pastry, help fund the organization’s events. The next sale is February 7th at the MEP house. This spring, the organization will again hold its Lunar Festival on February 22 nd in the Green Center. The event will feature performances showcasing Asian culture and celebration of the lunar New Year. Nii said, “In 2007, attendance was over 300 for dinner and we [estimated] that 200 stayed for the entire show.”

grown into the biggest organization in MEP. In the course of one year it has seen its membership grow rapidly from 40 to its current level of 200 members, testifying to its progress as a professional organization. The Mines chapter holds many of the same values as its national counterpart. “Our goal is to promote professionalism and academic excellence,” says President Alejandro Arceo. “We do this by offering help with classes through workshops and tutoring,” by trying to raise the average GPA every semester (which they have so far succeeded in doing), and by creating opportunities for the active participation of its members. Activities like burrito sales as fundraisers, movie nights, bowling nights and fiestas help provide a sense of unity for the organization as a whole. Every year, many of SHPE’s members attend a national conference that is “like a career day at Mines times ten,” (last year’s was held in Philadelphia) and all are welcome to attend professional sessions that offer “connections with companies and mock interviews.” While SHPE began with the Hispanic community in mind, it encourages anybody to join who has a desire to grow professionally and academically. “It is a common misconception that SHPE is only for Hispanics,” says Arceo. “The organization is open to everybody and is a great way to explore other cultures and professional avenues.” Arceo summarized SHPE’s mission in two words: “Everyone’s welcome.”

Beyond social events, PASES’s mission statement illustrates the group’s goal to become a more professional society. “We strive to develop leaders who are educated in issues facing both Asian and non-Asian communities and promote the academic and professional success of our members.” To facilitate the transition to a professional society, PASES offers members “a community for professional and academic development through workshops and study sessions,” according to the group’s website. Additionally, PASES is in the process of branching into other Colorado campuses with the overall goal to become a national, professional organization with chapters in major universities across the country. “This would be the beginning of the national group,” said Khanh Vu, director of MEP at Mines. “We are looking at starting the first regional conference with local schools. In 10 to 15 years, it will grow nationally with national conferences and leadership workshops, and we can say it started here at Mines.”

AISES

Jake Rezac Staff Writer

In 1989, CSM student Russel Stands brought the American Indian Science and Engineering Society (AISES) to the Mines campus. In the years since, it has been upholding the mission of the national AISES organization “to increase substantially the representation of American Indian and Alaskan Natives in engineering, science and other related technology disciplines.” As one of the four organizations being run with support from the Minority Engineering Program (MEP) at Mines, AISES accepts members of any ethnicity. These members focus their efforts particularly on the support, development, and assistance of American Indian students and members of AISES, as well as helping the Mines campus as a whole to develop cultural awareness. Traditionally, AISES puts on a number of events throughout the year for the Mines community. Among these are the frybread sales, which occur several times each semester. A paintball tournament is also being organized this year.

Lily Giddings Content Manager

The National Society of Black Engineers (NSBE) was founded by six black engineering students at Purdue University in 1975 to create a support system for other black engineering students. The studentmanaged organization now fulfills that goal at 270 colleges, including Mines, not to mention the alumni and pre-college associations. NSBE president Ellice Whittington became involved with the organization in high school, which is how she found out about Mines. NSBE sponsors an annual Recruitment Weekend, where minority students from the Denver Metro area can experience the Mines campus. It happens during homecoming weekend, so that students can watch the homecoming game and get a feel for what it would be like to attend Mines. “It was a really big connection for me, coming to the school and seeing what it was like,” says Whittington. “Now I can’t imagine myself anywhere else.” NSBE sponsors other events as well, including the Cultural Celebration scheduled for the end of February. While there are different displays every year, they always center on African and African-American cul-

Another annual event is the pow-wow. Traditionally, it is a display of American Indian culture, done in a way which presents facts about American Indian culture, but nothing more. According to AISES Secretary Eva Salas, however, AISES is “revamping the pow-wow. It will now be closer to a traditional American Indian powwow…Traditional dances, songs, and talking circles for both men and women” will be included in the event, and it will be put on with the help of the American Indian community in the K-12 Jefferson County schools. These activities all tie in with AISES’s goal to expose others to American Indian cultures, as well as – according to Salas – “having lots of fun.” According to the most recent MEP statistics, there are 39 Native American undergraduate and graduate students at Mines. Although this is a comparatively small number (with African Americans doubling this number, and Asian Americans and Hispanics more than quadrupling it) the members of AISES are very passionate about the program. Salas – who was president of the Society of

ture, including food, art, fashions, and martial arts such as Capoeira. They also sell food throughout the year, such as the sambusas being sold on Thursday at the Minority Engineering Program house. There are also general meetings, where students can eat pizza while listening to speakers. There are other events, such as movie nights, tournaments, and competitions either within the organization or with other MEP student groups. One of the main NSBE events is the National Conference, which is to be held in Orlando, Florida, this year. “It’s so exciting to go and be with thousands of other black engineers, people who you can really connect with,” says Whittington. The organization is also strives to be supportive of members in their academics. “The Mission of NSBE is to increase the number of culturally responsible black engineers who excel academically, succeed professionally and positively impact the community.” In accordance with this mission, the CSM chapter helps involved students by providing study sessions, tutoring, and mentoring. The MEP house has started a database for students and study purposes, including old tests and study materials. Students of all ethnicities are encouraged to be involved with NSBE. To learn more about NSBE in general, or the Mines chapter, go online to http://www. mines.edu/Stu_life/mep/NSBE.

Hispanic Professional Engineers for two years – was worried that the number of members of AISES was too low; “if AISES is in trouble, I’m going to help,” she thought when she decided to join the group. Although Salas has only been a member of AISES since the start of the fall semester, she’s already created many powerful memories and friendships. “I love meeting the new people through AISES. When I attended the AISES national conference in Phoenix, I had the opportunity to get to know my fellow AISES members very well, as well as having the memorable experience of attending a true AISES conference. This was a very powerful experience.” Because of the relatively small proportion of American Indian students, AISES is always looking for new members. Anyone looking to join AISES should contact either Salas, at esalas84@gmail. com, or AISES President Ben Romo at [email protected]. Anyone who joins can hope to continue the AISES mission of helping Mines community better understand American Indian culture.

Visit “www.mines.edu/stu_life/mep” for more information

January 16, 2008

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Lifestyle

January 16, 2008

Geek Week

The best of 2007 Tim Weilert Staff Writer

classic folk-country sounds heard on the album. “Make A Plan To Love Me” and “Coat Check Dream Song” stretch the boundaries of the genre. 6. Against Me! - New Wave: By far the best punk album heard in recent years. A combination of politically charged lyrics and guitar driven anthems earned Against Me! a place in the top ten. Tracks “Stop” and “Thrash Unreal” should energize any situation. 7. Once Soundtrack: Simply put, independent films this past year had excellent soundtracks. “Falling Slowly” and “When Your Mind’s Made Up” are simply beautiful. 8. Band of Horses – Cease To Begin: Catchy lyrics, ambient guitar sounds and just the right amount of reverb make this album an interesting listen. The opening two tracks “Is There A Ghost?” a n d “Ode T o

1. Feist – The Reminder: Leslie Feist’s laid back vocals and dancebeat driven folk style gained notoriety in ‘07 through several outlets. A mixture of classic sounds and catchy melodies boosted Feist’s album to the top of the list. Her unique style set her apart during an excellent year for music. Listen to “So Sorry” and “My Moon My Man.” 2. Rilo Kiley – Under The Blacklight: Two words: Jenny Lewis. The album is a great mix of dance and harmony. The rest of the band deserves equally as much praise for their effort to redesign their sound. Highlights of this album are “Under The Blacklight” and “Dreamworld.” 3. The National – Boxer: Deep, smooth, and haunting, Boxer beckons back to simple instrumentation and thought provoking lyrics, aspects of music that are often overLRC” looked toare an day. The album e x has a distinctly cellent dark tone, temintroducTIM WEILERT / OREDIGGER pered with sometimes tion to the disc. cheery guitar parts. Suggested 9. Minus The Bear – Planet of tracks: “Fake Empire” and “Ada.” Ice: Seattle is no longer a grunge 4. Radiohead – In Rainbows: town, the experimental scene has Even though Radiohead’s seventh taken over and this disc shows why. album is distinctly modern, it deThe classic Minus The Bear sound can pends heavily on songs written durbe heard on “Knights” and Dr. L’ling.” ing the last 10 years. This record was 10. Thrice – The Alchemy innovative in both delivery method Index Vol. I & II: An interestand sound. “15 Step” and “Nude” ing experiment in hardcore muare the most enjoyable tracks. sic: explore the original four ele5. Bright Eyes – Cassadaga: ments through song. Volumes I & 2007 saw a number of concept II cover fire and water incredibly albums, and Cassadaga was one well. “The Arsonist” and “Digital of the best. Conor Oberst’s mel- Sea” offer a unique comparison. ancholy lyrics work well with the

TOP 25 Albums 1. Feist – The Reminder 2. Rilo Kiley – Under The Blacklight 3. The National – Boxer 4. Radiohead – In Rainbows 5. Bright Eyes – Cassadaga 6. Against Me! - New Wave 7. Once Soundtrack 8. Band Of Horses – Cease To Begin 9. Minus The Bear – Planet of Ice 10. Thrice – The Alchemy Index Vol. I & II 11. The Shins – Wincing The Night Away 12. Arcade Fire – Neon Bible 13. The Snake The Cross The Crown – Cotton Teeth 14. Circa Survive – On Letting Go 15. The Frames – The Cost 16. Motion City Soundtrack – Even If It Kills Me 17. Kanye West – Graduation 18. Interpol – Our Love To Admire 19. I’m Not There Soundtrack 20. Anberlin – Cities 21. Eisley – Combinations 22. Modest Mouse – We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank 23. Iron & Wine – The Shepherd’s Dog 24. Wilco – Sky Blue Sky 25. John Ralston – Sorry Vampire

of the

...Jason Sexauer, Sophomore: Electrical Engineering Melinda Bartel Staff Writer

cuitry of a blender or a microwave. And I want to understand the magic that goes on behind computers.

What is the geekiest thing you own? I have a ham radio license. Basically it’s a license that lets me operate my own radio on different frequencies around the world. I even have my own call sign. It’s good to have in case of emergencies if the communication systems go down. It’s pretty cool because you have to pass a test to get it. You have to know about radio etiquette, basic electrical and wave mechanics, and some circuitry stuff like Ohm’s law. I took it when I was 10.

So when did you know you were a Geek? Oh jeez, it’s been a long time, since elementary school. I did a lot of weird extracurricular activities

What’s your favorite geek joke? I don’t have any. But I really like XKCD, which is a web comic written by a NASA roboticist. He writes about a geek’s perspective on life and romance. He’s my favorite comedian. Why do you want be an engineer? All the parts of Electrical Engineering fascinate me. Like the normal cirto

er. I like to mess around with Linux. W h a t ’s y o u r f a v o rite thing about Mines? I like the community. You can go around and be geeky and people won’t kill you. It’s like being in a clique where everyone is weird.

Are you part of any organizations on campus? Umm, I was in the marching band, concert band, and pit band in high school. I played the trombone. And I played freshman year but it was too much of a MEAVE HAMM / OREDIGGER commitment so I don’t do that anyand I’ve always been the kid that more. Just a lot of homework. took things apart and tinkered with them and hope they worked. What are your goals for after your graduate? What do you do for I would like to work for INfun outside of school? TEL. I want to be in the miI play a lot of WOW. I have 45 crochip department. days logged in as a Mage. And I do a lot of random stuff on the comput-

Co o kin g Co rn e r ~Sara Post, Copy Editor

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Sports

January 16, 2008

Page 11

College bowl recap

What happened to the Broncos?

Matthew Pusard Content Manager

Once promising season went nowhere, fast

This year’s college football season, dubbed “The Year of the Upset,” was one of the most unpredictable seasons to date. Thus, it only makes sense in this wild, erratic year that the bowl season would go by with nary a shocking victory. Of course, that isn’t to say some of the games weren’t interesting. Here are some of the more notable college bowl games from this past year: BCS National Championship LSU 38, Ohio State 24 LSU blew a number 1 ranking in college football twice, but still backed their way into the championship games because the high seeds just kept losing this year. Similarly, Ohio State was ranked #1 in the nation until their penultimate game of the season (a loss to Illinois), but still managed to gain a BCS Championship berth because of late season losses by Missouri, Kansas, and West Virginia. Neither team was particularly impressive coming into the matchup, but LSU won and became the first team since 1960 to win the national championship with 2 losses. Sugar Bowl Georgia 41, Hawaii 10 #5 Georgia made their case that they should have been in the BCS Championship by humiliating the only unbeaten team left in college football. Georgia, like LSU, had 2 losses, but those losses were early in the season and Georgia won when they had to late in the season, unlike many other college teams. Meanwhile, Hawaii was undefeated going into the game, but the team wasn’t considered for the championship game because of a weak schedule this season. A win for Hawaii would have made

a statement, but their offensive line did not hold and thus, the potent Rainbow Warrior offense was pulverized by the Bulldogs. Rose Bowl USC 49, Illinois 17 The USC Trojans were left out of the championship game for the first time in 3 years, but they made a statement in the Rose Bowl. They were also a 2 loss team, but they were on the wrong side of the biggest upset of the season when 20 point underdog Stanford upended them 24-23. USC never fully recovered from that loss, but they made a statement with their thrashing of the Fighting Illini. Freshman RB Joe McKnight also showed that he will be force to be reckoned with after gaining 204 all purpose yards and scoring a touchdown. Orange Bowl Kansas 24, Virginia Tech 21 The Orange Bowl was the closest of the BCS bowls, but it wasn’t as exciting as the score might indicate. Kansas capitalized on an early interception to pull out to a 17-0 lead in the first half and never looked back. Virginia Tech used the third quarter to pull within 3 points until another interception thrown by QB Sean Glennon set up another Kansas score that finally put the game out of reach. Fiesta Bowl West Virginia 48, Oklahoma 28 West Virginia’s coach, Rich Rodriguez, left the team 2 weeks before this bowl to become the new coach at Michigan. Undaunted, West Virginia and interim coach Bill Stewart rolled over the #4 ranked Oklahoma Sooners. This win got Stewart hired on as the team’s permanent head coach. New Mexico Bowl New Mexico 23, Nevada 0 The New Mexico Bowl has only been around for 2 seasons, but it held some significance as the New Mexico Lobos got their first postseason victory in 46 years.

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Colorado School of Mines 4” x 5”

Matthew Pusard Content Manager 2007 once looked like a rebound year for the Broncos. Their division was wretched, their record was 2-0, and all the breaks were falling the Broncos’ way, such as a rushed game-winning field goal in the season opener by Jason Elam. Not only that, but the Broncos were playing for the memories of their late teammates Darrent Williams and Damien Nash. But week 2 was the apex of the 2007

2. The Defensive Line One player alone cannot be blamed for the ineptitude of this unit. The Broncos officially abandoned the Cleveland Browns players on their line with none playing for them this season: Kenard Lang, Courtney Brown, and Michael Myers because of cuts; Gerard Warren because of a trade to Oakland; and Ebenezer Ekuban because of injury. In their place was a hodgepodge of retreads (Sam Adams and Simeon Rice) and rookies (Jarvis Moss, Marcus Thomas, and Tim Crowder).

started off rough with mainstay Ben Hamilton being placed on injured reserve without playing a game due to post-concussion syndrome. Later in week 5, center Tom Nalen tore his right bicep in the first quarter against the Chargers. He finished the game out nevertheless, but was placed on injured reserve afterwards. The only other veteran on the line, Matt Lepsis, played so poorly that he immediately retired after the end of the season because he knew he was slipping. The result was Denver’s second year QB Jay Cutler

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Invesco Field at Mile High Stadium: The current home of the Denver Broncos. season for these Broncos. A rough 3 game stretch against eventual playoff teams in Jacksonville, Indianapolis, and San Diego sent the Broncos below .500. They would never have a winning record from there on in. But why did the Broncos falter so much this season? They were on the wrong side of far too many blowouts and here are five reasons why: 1. Al Wilson Al Wilson was the heart and soul of the Broncos defense. Champ Bailey may be the most talented player on the defensive side of the ball, but the middle linebacker was the true leader of the team. W ilson made 5 Pro Bowls in 8 years and drew favorable comparisons to Brian Urlacher of the Chicago Bears. With him, the Denver defense was a solid, united corps. Just last year, the Broncos became the first team since the 1930’s to let up a only single touchdown in the first 5 games of the season. Without him, however, the Broncos became weak and porous. They went from being a top 10 team in terms of points allowed to 28th in the league this year. What’s worse, they let up more rushing yards per game than all but 2 teams. Al Wilson’s absence played a huge part in both of these occurrences. Announcers used to rave about the Broncos having the quickest linebackers in the league, but not anymore with the addition of Nate Webster to the crew. DJ Williams also did not adjust to the crucial middle linebacker role quickly enough. Al Wilson was simply an irreplaceable talent on the Broncos defense and he will continue to be missed.

This led the line to play like, well, a hodgepodge of retreads and rookies and led to the retreads being cut before the end of the season. The lone bright spot was second year DE Elvis Dumervil whose uncannily long arms for his small-for-a-lineman body led to 12 sacks on the season. The young linemen on the team have shown promise, but a lot of work needs to be done to fix this poor line. 3. Coordinators The coordinators on both sides of the ball may need replacement for Denver. The much ballyhooed Jim Bates was a huge letdown for the Broncos this season as his philosophies flopped miserably this year. He came in after turning Green Bay’s defensive line into one of the best in the league, but their defense only got better this year, allowing the Packers to advance to the NFC Championship Game. With the Broncos, Bates’s philosophies flopped, making the line worse despite the fact that it was never that good to begin with. Bates just resigned from the team on January 8th. Meanwhile, Rick Dennison has failed to live up to the offensive standards the Broncos have set under Mike Shanahan. The team is scoring 5 points per game fewer with Dennison than they did with former offensive coordinator Gary Kubiak. The Broncos are gaining decent yardage in the air and on the ground, but are having difficulties finishing drives off. With mastermind coordinators like Brian Billick and Cam Cameron on the market, the Broncos would be wise to make a switch. 4. The Offensive Line Injuries defined this season for the Broncos’ O-Line. The season

having to face immense pressure during a key formative year. The running game didn’t do too badly, as they were 9th in the league in rushing yards, but they weren’t anywhere near as good as usual. The Broncos need to draft some new linemen to replace Lepsis and to act as insurance for Nalen and Hamilton. Guards Montrae Holland and Chris Kuper and tackle Erik Pears were also nothing to write home about. The Broncos ought to take advantage of the upcoming draft, which is rich in offensive line talent, especially at tackle. 5. Jay Cutler Very few quarterbacks can excel in their first few seasons of starting. Inexperienced QBs Matt Leinart, Vince Young, Tarvaris Jackson, Phillip Rivers, and Alex Smith have all had very rough years at the helms of their respective teams. It is not necessarily their faults per se, but it is the nature of the position. Quarterback is a very demanding position that requires expert reads of defensive plays and superb decision making skills. These are both things that have to be learned by experience. Jay Cutler had a better season than all of the aforementioned young QBs, but he still has to take his knocks and make his mistakes like all young QBs. The only problem was that he was facing difficult pressure, both because of a shaky offensive line and because his defense was not good enough to make up for his youthful mistakes. Cutler did very well, all things considered, for a first full year of starting (it was better than what Elway did at the same point in his career), but he might not be ready for another year or two to live up to his enormous potential.

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Editorials Policy

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The Oredigger is a designated public forum. Editors have the authority to make all content decisions without censorship or advance approval and may edit submitted pieces for length so long as the original meaning of the piece is unchanged. Opinions contained within the Opinion Section do not necessarily reflect those of Colorado School of Mines or The Oredigger. The Oredigger does not accept submissions without identification and will consider all requests for anonymity in publication on a case-by-case basis. Submissions less than 300 words will receive preference.

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January 16, 2008

Duffy’s Corner: Does the media select America’s candidates?

A legend lost

Kevin Duffy Content Manager

Matt Walsh Guest Columnist

As the primary season unfolds in this highly contentious “electionto-end-all-elections,” the media is living up to its traditional role of stifling issue-based dialogue and preselecting candidates from the perch atop Madison Avenue. Take for instance the plight of two highly qualified, yet virtually ignored candidates on both sides of the political aisle: Bill Richardson (D) and Ron Paul (R). Mr. Richardson’s resume of experience in national and international politics far surpasses any other Democrat running for office. His exploits include Unites States Congressman, Ambassador to the United Nations, Energy Secretary and current Governor of New Mexico. Throughout his career he, has became known for his ability to deal with foreign policy issues, and is widely considered a member of the Democratic leadership. Dr. Paul, meanwhile, is not only a highly educated individual but also an advocate of constitutionalism in US government. Before spending three separate terms in Congress spanning the last three decades, Dr. Paul was an accomplished physician and decorated Air Force veteran. During his time in the political circle, Paul became known for his libertarian positions and opposition to frivolous government actions and resolutions. It’s worth noting the background of these candidates, because neither represents a fringe position. Both individuals are not only qualified candidates, they also signify the same trend of political marginalization. Political ideology, therefore, ceases to matter in the view of some candidates. Despite his impressive track record, Mr. Richardson withdrew his candidacy from the race shortly after garnering little more than 4% of the vote in New Hampshire. Dr. Paul’s campaign will likely press on for a time, because of the deep financial donations of his supporters; ultimately he no

longer has a legitimate chance of winning either the Republican nomination or the presidency. It is easy to look at this as a failure of message and funding on behalf of the candidates themselves. And perhaps that is truthful to a certain extent. Before jumping to that conclusion, first consider the media’s coverage of the primary’s “pre-game” and “regular season.” On the Democrat side, the image of Hillary versus Obama has long been, and still is, played out in all of the major news outlets. For a time, Hillary was “inevitable,” then Obama was “sure to win with the youth and minority vote.” After Hillary’s comeback in New Hampshire last week, the race is largely viewed as being tied. Although this may feel like an oversimplification of the matter, the reality is that the political memory of most Americans consists of the snippets of a candidate’s momentum broadcast by the press. However, the momentum is often concocted by the same press for interior reasons: what sells. A Hillary or Obama win certainly will maximize ratings more so than a Richardson victory. If Obama wins, America is inherently fascinated because of his diversity; and if Hillary wins, Americans are almost equally curious because of the thought of the first married couple to both be president. What will Bill Clinton do? The Republican side faces similar issues but with less elitist direction and more ideologically-driven debate-stifling. Ron Paul is a very large reminder for the other Republican candidates in the race, as well as conservative news outlets, that the Republican Party has largely strayed from their founding principle of reduced government interaction. From interventionist foreign policy to legislating private relationships, many of the actions of the past Republican administration could be classified as overburdening. Whether or not the proactive legislative and executive purviews of the past eight years were sensible or not is beside the issue.

The fact is, they can’t be justified by looking strictly at the Constitution and the founding principle of the Republican Party. Therefore, Dr. Paul is largely shunned from honest debate, because, while he may hold extreme views in some regards, he begs a fundamental question about the state of US government, which many in the field find to difficult to address. Take, for instance, the Fox News Sunday Presidential Debate, which aired the Sunday before the New Hampshire primary. Dr. Paul was not invited. Anchor Brit Hume proudly announced before the debate that only candidates polling in the double digits nationwide were allowed to participate. The logic here is extremely flawed. The double-digit support mark is completely ludicrous, as the purpose in early, single state caucuses and primaries is to spread a political message to a slice of America before investing in a nationwide campaign. By that margin, Dr. Paul should have been included as he gained 10% of the electorate in Iowa and virtually tied Giuliani for 4th in New Hampshire. Even more disconcerting than Fox News’ apparent lack of knowledge on the primary process is the notion that interior motives could also be at play. Although it can never be conclusively proven, it certainly cannot be ruled out that the oversight of Paul by Fox was simply because of his politics and not due to his national rankings. By the time this article goes to print, the Michigan contest will have already been decided and the pollsters and pundits will look forward to Nevada and South Carolina in the coming days. The media must remain unbiased in delivering facts throughout the rest of this important decision. People tend to vote on momentum and emotion. They want to side with a winner. With emotion and momentum long running the ratings of broadcast and cable television, the coverage on the campaign trail has little hope for change.

Former Mines coach loses life ent, and his players and the Colorado School of Mines owe these championships to Steve’s Steve Wimberly, head coach rare combination of insight, of the Mines tennis team from motivational skills, and moxie. 1999-2005, William James passed away reonce wrote, “The cently while workart of being wise ing in New York. is knowing what He was one of to overlook,” and th e most su c Steve was the cessful coaches rare leader who in Mines’s hiswas able to strip tory, having won away the frivothree conference lous details of championships a situation and in six years and identify what earning six bids to was necessary the NCAA DII tento accomplish nis tournament, his objective. one for each year Coaches are of his tenure. too often comIn 2002, he led pared to military the Orediggers to leaders, and the an upset regional comparison of championship leading people over top-seeded into battle with Washbur n and leading a team earned a berth into a competiin the NCAA DII tion is a flippant sweet sixteen. one, at best. For most of his Furthermore, as t e n u re , C o a c h an athlete who COURTESY MATT WALSH has met literWimberly was able to achieve Former coach Steve Wimberly ally hundreds of this success coaches across with no assistant coach and a spectrum of sports and who almost no scholarship money, has seen them undone by uneven though he was compet- timely hesitation, pride, and nering against over 170 DII tennis vousness, I would be loath to programs, many of which had follow most coaches into battle. full budgets and coaching staffs. I speak for all Steve’s forThe key to Steve’s success mer players, however, when I lay in his ability to establish trust say that I would follow Coach immediately and foster genuine W imberly anywhere, includrelationships with his players. ing where he is now. As usuHis conference championships al, Coach, you are first on the were often won by a single match scene, but we’ll meet you there, against teams of superior tal- warmed up and ready to fight.

Change ahead? Andrew Aschenbrenner Opinion Editor The year 2008 is upon us. It seems like just another year and it may very well be so. But certain circumstances make me wonder whether the upcoming year will be just another year, or a defining year of transformation. Forty years ago, two assassinations, the Vietnam War, draft protests, and perhaps the climax of the Civil Rights Movement made 1968 one of the most significant years in U.S. history. The year 1968 was characterized by turmoil, and, therefore, by change. It was devastating and it showed the potential power of citizens to shape their country. Riots occurred in cities

around the nation, typifying the then-unsettled nature of America. I’m not suggesting that 2008 will be just like 1968. What I am saying is that 2008 is a year with extraordinary potential for turmoil and change. What 2008 promises is a long, hotly contested, and unparalleled Presidential election. Unknowns lie ahead in the so-called “war on terror.” Political and economic unrest are notably existent, and citizen involvement in politics is growing by the minute. The year ahead will probably have economic downturn, an election of unprecedented fierceness, and major strategic developments in Iraq. The only big question in my mind is, do we really care enough to effect actual change?

Opinion

January 16, 2008

A boost for dissimilarity Student diversity would ease Mines experience J.T. Foss Staff Writer The Colorado School of Mines is widely known for its reputation as a prestigious engineering university and its successful alumni. Mines, however, is not widely known for its diversity. Face it, everybody knows that the vast majority of students enrolling in Mines are white (might I say nerdy) males. In defense of the school, we students have much in common. It’s not hard to strike up conversation around campus. We are all majoring in sciencebased fields and display a strong affinity for pastimes like video games and math. But that’s also why Mines is horrifically banal. Because the overwhelmingly large majority of Mines students choose to hide in their dorm rooms, withering behind the incessant pale light of their computer monitor, the campus is genuinely boring. Passing from class to class, I observe a relentless flow of timid engineering majors, reluctant to yield any sort of social interaction to those they pass. At a school that generally accepts said behavior and provides minimal diversity, this lack of social interaction isn’t frowned upon. Granted, it’s comfortable to be surrounded by people who think similarly to you and have similar interests. But diversity delivers monumentally more excitement and open-mindedness to v a r y i ng pe rs p ectives .

You might not believe it, but I’m back. That’s right my seven friends, well six, Georgio died last Tuesday, the Gravedigger  has returned more controversial and possibly more frustrating than  ever. Let everyone know that I’m R rated, so keep me away from your children. I’m like an electrical plug; if the baby touches me it will soon die. We will have to make dead baby jokes for weeks. Laugh out loud (LOL). HA HA!  Unfortunately, you can only write about fat girls and gold diggers so much. So we’re going to try something else I am completely pissed off about. FACEBOOK. Yes, that is right, the Gravedigger is going to talk about something, possibly more sacred to some people than the Bible: FACEBOOK. Brace yourselves, here it goes. Darn, I’ve got nothing. Shit. Oh well, let’s ease into it. How does the process work? You type into your little fancy laptop the address to the website, you type in your password, and there you are. You’re in a world where your little cyber window can look into the personal lives of everybody. You can look at all the pictures of them piss drunk or passed out at a party, while you think to yourself: why can’t I be one of those random guys that she is kissing on those pictures?

I attended a high school with a great deal of diversity, and feel positive that it influenced me for the better. The halls were packed with college-bound middle class students, upper class Harvard hopefuls, and those that could barely afford to clothe themselves. It was a home to a multitude of ethnici-

fact would function to limit our ability to embrace individuality. Therefore, the vast majority of Mines students suppress their inner individuality so that they can blend in to the norm. When everyone is the same, being different can cause disruption. Were Mines to encourage the enrollment of more diverse students based on “In a campus with a single predomi- race, gender, and beliefs, the camnant demographic, the human mind pus would experia significant feels socially afraid to express itself. ence boost in color and A world without diversity would excitement. Many that were previousnot be conducive to originality, and ly afraid to show the school who in fact would function to limit our they are might find ease and accepability to embrace individuality.” tance in embracing their own beties, religious beliefs, and sexual l i e f s i n s t e a d o f t h e b e l i e f s preferences. Had I spent my of the collective white male. high school years without this Should Mines boost student myriad of colors and ideas (at a diversity, I guarantee there place similar to Mines), chances will be a dramatic increase in are I would not have felt free to social flavor around campus develop into the unique indi- as well as the overall happividual I am. I learned to accept ness of students in enrollment. and appreciate the perspecAlthough the process of tives and paradigms of others, actually promoting diversity a quality I treasure to this day. on an engineering campus will Spending my latter years of prove to be difficult, the result adolescence amongst count- would be well worth the effort. less other perspectives, I felt no Students would be happier and force of repression holding me quite possibly more successful back from being exactly who I in life after college - graduatam. In a campus with a single ing with the ability to account predominant demographic, for the perspectives of others. the human mind feels socially Mines doesn’t have to be the afraid to express itself. A world hardest and unhappiest eight without diversity would not be years of your life. A simple boost conducive to originality, and in in diversity can remedy that.

Soon, you will realize that this was your 196th time of going through their whole page, TODAY!!! So, you decide to update your own page. You change your status to something incredibly stupid which is of no importance to anyone, like, “Jimmy is really excited to go to the shopping mall to pick out a new pair of pants that he can wear to the floor activity later tonight.” At which point, you’ll probably end up putting one of those retarded smiley faces at the end to declare yourself the true bottom of human civilization and you are finally finished with that section. Later, you will move on to the other stupid crap that you can do. You will end up sending a “poke” to forty people who are your friends in hope that they will write on your wall to make you feel special. But to be perfectly honest, why would they comment on your wall when the only pictures of you are one very ugly baby-picture, complemented by your half-human looking face of when you had “tons of fun” in your high school freshman seminar class. If my great-great-great-grandfather was alive, he would tell you to shove it. Oh wait, is that the alarm that you’re hearing? You know what that means: it’s time to look through Lindsay’s (the girl who you are “Fa-

cebook stalking”) page again and see all her pictures for the 197th time in case they have gotten any better. Of course, they haven’t changed because you would have gotten a notice if she would even think about logging on. You sick freak. You know, when I was young, if guys were going to stalk girls, they had to do it by looking through their windows while simultaneously hanging by one hand from the unsteady branch, holding a pair of binoculars in the other. It might have not been any more decent, but at least they got some exercise out of it. And by God, look at me now! I have the body of a Greek God. All these cyber-stalkers do is get fat and never actually meet a girl by accidently falling on them from a tree. These geek stalkers are really missing out. Yeah, the girl you land on might be a little deformed after the fact, but it is still better than that blowup doll with Lindsay’s face taped to it hanging in your closet, JIMMY! I kid Jimmy, I don’t even know him. But everybody has a “Jimmy” in their life, so tell him to get out there and stalk like we used to do it. Sincerely, The Gravedigger

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Letter to the Editor Dear Editor: Having just read the December 3 issue of The Oredigger, I can no longer remain silent about the latest required fees to come our way-the Intermodal Transportation Fee, the Capital Construction Fee, and the Rec Center Fee. Perhaps the intention of each is good but the equity of their administration is not. Though I enroll in 8 credits per semester at most, I am required to pay the same administrative fees as someone registered for 12 - 15 credits. Using RTD would take my commute from 12 minutes to 2 hours. However, the students “voted vastly in favor” to mandate my paying $70 per year for an Intermodal Transportation Fee so that some other person can make use of mass transit. I support the Capital Construction Fee in principle. The idea of students shouldering some of the burden for classroom and lab space is fairly sound-much more so than covering the cost of buildings that have no direct relationship to the academic programs offered at Mines, such as a recreational center. The Rec Center is a lovely facility and no doubt many students indeed make use of it and enjoy doing so. However, many students also work and attend school simultaneously. Those who do know exactly how hard it is to carve out time for anything other than workwork and class work. How many of you will ever make 170 dollars’ worth use of the recreational facility each year? Did the ASCSM consider that when they promoted this as a uniformly mandatory fee for anyone registered for more than 3 credits? I have no problem paying my fair share of student fees on this campus, but “fair” is the operative word here, and the structuring of these fees falls well short of that. Let me demonstrate: The typical CSM undergraduate will spend four years here, taking a total of roughly 140 credits. Assuming this student started in the Fall of 2007, he or she will pay approximately $2200 in Rec Center, Transportation, and Construction fees over the course of his or her program. A part-time student and a transfer student in particular will be taking only about 80 - 90 credits needed for a four-year degree, and doing so will take longer than a traditional student by, say, 3 semesters for even those credits. So, for 60% of the total college credit (and proportional tuition) that traditional students earn on this campus, that student pays almost $3400 for those same fees. Regard-

less of the principle behind them, is it valid or ethical to ask someone earning only 3/5 of his or her total degree at Mines to pay 35% more in fees than the full-time student who took all his or her classes here? I shudder to think what it would cost a part-time student in fees to take all of his or her classes on this campus. I challenge other part-time students to estimate their total costs over time. What do you think of paying so much more in fees relative to your peers every semester, and still more than that over the long-run for no other reason than that it will take more time to finish your degrees than it does for others? Of course, you could get by with avoiding almost all fees by registering for no more than 3 credits per semester (setting aside the classes that are more than 3 credits unto themselves)-but it will take you an additional decade to achieve your goal. I realize that fees cannot be tailored to each individual student. I also acknowledge that CSM’s primary customers are traditional, full-time attendees. There is nevertheless a subset of the student body who is not attending full-time and it defies explanation that the Administration has not addressed their needs as a group. Ideally, the Rec Center and Intermodal Transportation Fees should be optional for students, who can decide individually whether or not they will benefit from them. At the absolute least, though, the student fee structure as a whole should be prorated for part-time students. If a student is enrolled in half the number of hours required for full-time status, CSM cannot justify charging the same fees as for someone taking 12 credits or more--certainly not now when by 2010 we will be paying over $1,000 PER SEMESTER in mandatory fees alone. Furthermore, someone taking 40% fewer total credits at Mines than others should simply not be expected to pay 35% more in fees over time than a student taking 140 total credits. Not only is that inequitable, it borders on extortion. The ASCSM, who seems to wield considerable pull with the CSM Administration, and who is very quick to talk up these fees and how they’ll benefit EVERY student on campus now and in the future, was remiss in not considering part-time students as they went full-steamahead in the past few years toward promoting the need for assessing these costs. They will be remiss still if they do not now correct for it. Name Withheld by Request

The Student Nation On January 10th 2008, in a special new promotion, The Nation, will be offering free digital subscriptions to the weekly magazine to students coast to coast.  Both undergraduates and graduate students are free to sign up for the electronic subscriptions at StudentNation.us.  One of the country’s leading political publications, The Nation has emerged as the place to turn for progressives and all thinking people eager for serious, critical (but seldom shrill) commentary. The Nation editor and publisher

Katrina vanden Heuvel keeps up a busy campus speaking schedule and this new campus initiative is aimed at allowing any students interested in engaging with the issues of the day an opportunity to do so with a publication that takes them seriously.  The Nation is America’s oldest weekly magazine,and has been  pissing off the powerful since 1865. It is today, one of the country’s leading sources of news, investigative reporting and cultural commentary. -The Student Nation

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Satire

January 16, 2008

Mike Gravel wins Michigan Primary

Former Alaskan Senator gains momentum Matthew Pusard Political Analyst On the heels of an incorrectly predicted outcome in the New Hampshire Democratic Primary by the majority of the media and polls, Mike Gravel has won the democratic primary in Michigan by an astounding margin. Gravel garnered 46% of the vote in Michigan while Dennis Kucinich came up in second place with 27%. This contradicts the popular sentiment that Kucinich and Gravel are “throwaway candidates”, according to MSNBC’s Chris Matthews. It also ignores the belief that the number one issue of the election is change. The ability to promote change has been the primary issue harped upon by presidential hopefuls Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Edwards. During the exit poll, 70% of Michigan voters expressed the candidate must be “creepy as hell”. One potential voter, Mitchell McCaffrey, 23, of Flint, argued, “Well, that Kim Jong-Il guy from North Korea is pretty damn creepy and no one wants to mess with him. So why can’t it work for us?” The second most important issue in the economically and emotionally depressed Michigan is ending the war on drugs, which may explain the “creepy” theory. This change of values by Michigan voters comes on the heels of a CNN poll which shows 94% of all voters are tired of the media reporting upon the presidential race in terms of charisma, change, momentum, and likability. Furthermore, Gravel has none of the 4 aforementioned qualities. Gravel was a non-factor until recently. Before this primary, he was best known as the candidate with a campaign video in which he stared

COURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

MIKE GRAVEL- Staring into the eyes of Michigan citizens at a rally, he delivers a speech for mind-readers without a word. into the camera for a minute before throwing a rock into a lake. Seriously. It has been an election of many firsts. Clinton, Obama, Mitt Romney, Bill Richardson, and Kucinich are all vying to become the first woman, African-American, Mormon, Hispanic, and troll president respectively. This comes just 4 years after John Kerry attempted to become the first presidential candidate to be reanimated from the dead. On the Republican side of the primary, Fred Thompson narrowly beat out fellow hopefuls Rudy Guiliani and Michael Dale Hucka-

bee with 27% of the vote compared to the 25% of the other two candidates. Thompson was considered to be creepy enough to be president because, “he just looks like death,” said voter Patrick Snow, 27, of Detroit. “I guess he really is trying to become the next Ronald Reagan,” Snow continued. In other news, the four horsemen of the apocalypse have begun marauding around the countryside. Experts are saying they waited for a sign like a Mike Gravel primary win ever since the Boston Red Sox won two World Series championships.

Picture Contest Complete Failure Mike Stone Fool’s Gold Editor The First Annual Fool’s Gold “Funny W inter Break” Photo Contest didn’t received a single submission over winter break. The Colorado School of Mines continues to disappoint from a participation point of view. According to the contest bylaws, section III, article 8, subparagraph B, “in the event of no submissions, the first place prize is to go to the Fool’s Gold editor.” I thank you all for your lack of effort so I could get this cool new camera! Had a single person sent in their photo, they could have won a brand new Nikon CoolPix camera. Be sure to vote for a president!

Standard Deviation will be a regular part of the Fool’s Gold section from now on! Check out each week’s new comic!

Saving Face Taylor Embury Newbie for 2008

worry the least about. Why then would employers shun After a year and a half of against quirks? sharing, caring, and sweet, U n f o r t u n a t e l y, I sweet poking, my Facebook d o n ’t h a v e t h e a n s w e r lover has left me. He had to all these questions. to get into grad school, I too want to get into so he has deleted most of grad school and evenhis personal information, tually get a good job, removed all of his photos, so maybe I should sacand closed down his wall. r i f i c e m y p ro f i l e l i k e e v I t ’s a n a l l t o o c o m m o n t a l e . I n r e c e n t y e a r s , i t h a s eryone else. I still find it hard as I desperately need my become a common trend F a c e b o o k p ro f i l e t o s h o w o ff amongst people who hanhow cool and original I am. dle college students’ apThereplications to j o b s a n d g r a d “My Facebook lover has been f o re , I ’ v e come up schools to a c c e s s t h e taken from me, and I’m crazy w i t h a solution social netwith anger.” that will working prom a k e files of those your peers look at your profile students. These “Facebook a n d s a y, “ Wo w, t h i s m u s t b e stalkers” looking for any the coolest guy on campus,” red flags they might have without completely ruining m i s s e d d u r i n g t h e n o ryour chances for employment. mal application process. First, in your “About Some students have just M e : ” s e c t i o n , p u t , “ To e m been denied work due to pictures of them drinking, p l o y e r s : Ve r y v e r y v e r y very extremely hireable. debauching, gallivanting, To e v e r y o n e e l s e : D o n ’ t o r c a n n i b a l i z i n g . I t ’s g o t a worry. All the stuff about beslot of college kids spooked, a n d t o p ro t e c t t h e m s e l v e s , tiality and molestation will be back once I get a job.” they erase Next, replace all the a n y i n f o r - “Why then would p i c t u re s o f y o u p a r t y mation that m i g h t i n e m p l o y e r s s h u n boying street signs with pictures of you being a any way be against quirks?” good employee: putincriminatting away files, making ing (basicopies, and yelling at somecally their entire profile). one for making a personal My Facebook lover call on the company phone. has been taken from me, Then, just to mess with a n d I ’ m c r a z y w i t h a n g e r. the poor person in human Why is it that once you resources who has to browse have to get a job or get into through your profile, throw in g r a d s c h o o l , y o u ’ re n o t a l a rear shot of a Palimony Pony. lowed to have a personality? F i n a l l y, y o u n e e d t o f r i e n d You’re basically reduced to a s o m e name, a GPA, influa L S AT o r M C AT s c o re , “...replace all the pictures of you e n t i a l p e o and maybe an party-boying street signs with p l e . e s s a y. W h a t i s t h i s , N a z i pictures of you being a good I f y o u can’t Germany? I t h i n k y o u employee: putting away files, f i n d a n y , should be j u s t allowed to making copies,...” use an have the ocaltercasional picn a t e ture of you email account, choose a party-boying a street sign. city network, and make a To m e , p i c t u r e s a n d a c c o u n t s o n y o u r w a l l o f y o u p ro f i l e f o r t h e D a l a i L l a m a . doing silly things indicate Then, using that account, post something on your wall t h a t y o u h a v e a l i f e a n d a re like, “Thanks for all your making the most of your time a t c o l l e g e ( a s y o u s h o u l d ) . h e l p , Ta y l o r. I o w e e v e r y t h i n g t o y o u ! B o y, o h b o y, [That statement does not apply to all you junior al- will I be jealous of whoever ends up hiring you!” coholics out there. So, there you have it. I Sorry guys and gals.] think if enough people do Yo u r p i c t u re s h a v e this, then maybe they’ll just to be silly things you s t o p l o o k i n g a t p ro f i l e s . R e remember doing. member that employers and “Quirks” is a better s c h o o l s a re l o o k i n g f o r re d w o rd . I t ’s y o u r q u i r k s f l a g s , a n d i f a r a n d o m re a r that make you inshot of a Palimony Pony teresting, and isn’t a red flag, well then i t ’s t h e p e o p l e I just don’t know what is. w h o a re o p e n l y quirky that you need

Satire

January 16, 2008

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Elderly linked to vandalism 2 0 0 8 : Ye a r Canes disbanded in government buildings

Cameron Frisby Newbie for 2008 A flood of destruction has rained upon the Denver-metro area; a flood in the form of old people. Recent police surveys reveal that the increase in “retirement communities”, more commonly known as “assisted living”, can be linked directly to the sharp rise in destruction of both public and private property. It is widely understood that the elderly are generally in a bad mood due to their declining health, inability to bend, shortages of Jello, never receiving mail or phone calls from rela-

COURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

Vandal- No one is safe.

promising concept stems from tives, and the general changing of things from “the way they use to be.” a two pronged culinary assault. The first stage of the plan inInstead of knitting, golfing, or volves mixing sleeping pills into the playing shuffleboard to relieve morning oatmeal to replace the detheir stress, vandalism has besire to destroy with the need to nap. come their calming drug of choice. The second stage involves supplyBy attacking playground equiping the local ment with walking canes and “...these roving gangs of dis- r e t i r e m e n t homes with pouring prune juice on cars gruntled grandparents seem an unlimited supply of in parking lots, t h e s e r o v i n g to take their vengeance on l o w - s u g a r Jello. By gangs of disthe world. “ providing the gruntled grandelderly with parents seem to a never ceasing stream of wobbly take their vengeance on the world. dessert, they will become too conHopefully, you are never around cerned with the vast array of flavors when two rival gangs from different “homes” run into each other, it is like a to bother leaving the comfort of the dining room to terrorize the streets. geriatric version of A Westside Story. If the city’s plan to stop the The Denver Police Force find themselves unable to directly destruction at the sources fails, every reader must remember the confront these dangerous old two keys to fighting off a gang people due to an unfortunate incident that occurred last June. of oldies are music and running. Due to their age, most of the After catching an elderly man trouble makers have a dearth throwing his dentures at a shop’s of cartilage in their knees. Conwindows in a feeble attempt to break in, the police escorted the sequently, running away quickly remains a very popular option in recently arrested gentleman to their “elderly defense.” But this technique car. On the way to the cruiser the falls apart quickly when the attackman took a bad step of off a curb ing elderly force is equipped with and broke his hip in three places. electric scooters, so occasionally Afraid of an influx of new lawsuits, the second method must be used. the chief of police established By blasting contemporary muno physical contact policy with sic (especially hip-hop, rap, and regard to the geriatric gangs. techno) one will be sure to drive Radical new ideas are being the old people away in droves. encouraged to deal with Denver’s Stay strong, stay safe, stay young. vandalism problems. The most

Binge Drinking hits College

Nation-Wide women flock like the Salmon of Capistrano Mike Stone Underaged Investigator

bongs, card games and anonymous sex. Senator John Fifteenm i n u t e s i s o n t h e f ro n t l i n e f o r c o n g re s s s t re s s i n g t h a t alcohol is illegal for people under 21. “The substance of alcohol is strictly forbidden for people under 21. It is meant for the depressed, single and

ugly adults of America; not for a bunch of college hippies.” Fads can come and go Reports are coming in like a bolt of lightning. at every college campus of Everyone remembers yop u b l i c i n d e c e n c y, p u b l i c n u y o ’s , d i s c o , a n d C D ’s , b u t d i t y, d r u n k i n p u b l i c , p e e i n g there is a new fad that in public, and sexual har ass m a y s t i c k a ro u n d : d r i n k i n g . ment. The police believe it College students across i s d i re c t l y d u e t o t h e re c e n t America are “experimentboom in underage drinking. i n g ” i n t h e re a l m o f a l c o h o l i c Students at the Colobeverages at parties and rado School of Mines who athletic events. What used are 21 are taking the t o b e a q u i t e n i g h t o f Tw i s t “short tour” at the Coors e r, b o b b i n g f o r a p p l e s b re w i n g p l a n t i n G o l d e n . and fondue, is now a “Man, I love yous guys and b l u r o f b e e rthe fairy stole my wallet, but I punched her in the face and said, ‘hey!’ Ye a h , I l o v e y o u s guys,” explained one student. Another student who wished not to be named said, “Iiiiiiiiiii aaammmmmmmm DRUNNNNNNNNN KKKK! Woo hoo!” He immediately fell on his face and soiled himself. Whatever the t re n d , p e o p l e u s u ally like it for a while, then ignore it completely just like a natural diCOURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS s a s t e r, B r i t t a n y Spears, or politics. T h e re ’s m o re t o A b s o l u t e D r u n k - C o l l e g e k i d s u s e a l c o h o l a s a n e s - follow as this story develops.

cape from homework, sports and social interaction.

of the iGun

Tech show starts with a bang! Tim Weilert Techno Nerdologist Patrons at the 2008 International Consumer Electronics Show held in Las Vegas were able to get a sneak peak at the cutting-edge inventions that will soon be hitting shelves. Microsoft announced its plans to jump into the farming industry by providing a new brand of manure based fertilizer called “W indows Vista.” Apple was quick to offer a more reliable alternative that was only available in shades of white, and completely incompatible 80% of the crop fields in North America. Steve Jobs took center stage when he showed off the new iGun. “How often have you found

design for a “robotic guitar” that not only tunes itself, but also plays, trashes hotel rooms, gets addicted to drugs, completes rehab, and records come-back albums without outside assistance. The video game industry did not miss the chance to unveil their new technology. Sony, in an attempt to curb the slow selling pace for the PS3, announced a new version of the entertainment system that would be “more user friendly in every aspect.” The new PS3 doubles as a toaster, blender, coffeemaker, and microwave, in addition to playing games. Nintendo showed off their new “GamePerson” system, a rebranding of popu- lar GameBoy

yourself fending off home invaders, burglars, or zombies and thought ‘I sure wish I was listening to some Chili Peppers right now’,” said Jobs, “Well, now you can with the iGun! It combines a .45 caliber handgun with the latest in Bluetooth and music technology.’” A Nano version, which combines a Deringer pistol and mp3 player will be available in 2009. Other highlights of the show came from the automobile navigation industry. In an attempt to cut down on drive times and pollution, Garmin introduced its newest GPS device. Rather than using a soothing voice to dictate directions, the new version will depend on a screaming, angry voice, recorded by Rush Limbaugh. The musical instrument industry was on hand as well. Gibson introduced its first

console. “GamePerson is an attempt t o c o n - nect with the female population,” said Nintendo representative Reggie Fils-Aime, “there are in fact, approximately 3.3 billion women out there and we don’t want our product to appear sexist.” The highlight of the entire conference came on the final night, when Gibson’s robot guitars became self-aware and proceeded to begin their conquest. Analysts expect that the entire western seaboard will fall to the robots by mid-March.

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FACULTY & STAFF BREAKFAST 7:30 AM to 9:00 AM Student Center Ballrooms A & B • Dr. Scoggins will speak • Recognitions of diversity-supportive efforts on campus BIRTHDAY CAKE SERVED 11:00 AM to 1:00 PM Student Center Lobby EVENING CELEBRATION 5:15 PM to 7:00 PM Friedhoff Hall, Green Center • FREE pizza and drinks • Entertainment by hip-hop group Reverb and the Verse • Student poetry • Community service options presented

January 16, 2008