The Neighborhood-first Draft

The Neighborhood A play in three acts, by Pete Willows Revised [Acts I & II]: May 12, 2006—Khartoum, Sudan Revised [first draft]: December 31, 2008—Toronto, Canada Revised: January 1, 2009 Page count: 56 Word count: about ten thousand Dramatis personæ: Nick: young executive, trying to climb the corporate ladder; grew-up poor; the first in his family to attend university; ambitious and confident Kate: professional woman; does freelance design work from a home office; same educational and ethnic background as Nick; scolding and evil-tempered Simon: British, upper-middle class – he is seconded by the parent company both he and Nick work for, to replace Nick, as Nick is in the transition of promotion Chloe: Simon’s wife – she remains undefined Schumann: the mysterious man who lives in the back-house of Nick and Kate’s property Mustafa: Nick’s co-worker; legal consultant; Egyptian-American; Coptic Christian Intern: twenty-one year-old university student Kebby Freelander: criminal defense attorney Pip Flanders: crime writer Detective McFadden: police detective Author’s note: Nick and Kate’s ethnic background remains undefined, as it could be adapted to almost any. Even though they may in this script appear to fall into a specific category, the author would prefer the director ultimately make that determination. Any specific cultural indicators apparent in this revision were simply drawn from the author’s biographical background as a means of propelling the story.

Act I, sc. i

2

Setting: minimalist. At home. NICK, center stage, standing in front of a trendy contemporary chesterfield. He is wearing a sports jersey and watching a television that has its back to the audience. A screen above his head displays the game Nick is watching. KATE, stage right, seated at a work station that has a computer screen with its back to the audience. A screen above her head displays the Internet sites Kate is visiting: fashion, gossip, furniture, advice; and finally, she visits a site to view oil-paintings – she’s a buyer and she has taste. A partition with a door separates the two characters. At a commercial break in the game Nick is watching, he finishes his beer and walks over to the partition and LIGHTLY KNOCKS on the door with the business-end of a hockey stick. NICK Kate? [beat] Kate? You need anything from the kitchen? KATE [beat] Cup of tea would be nice… NICK Earl Grey? KATE No, it keeps me up. NICK I know. I thought maybe… KATE [absently] Chamomile would be fine for tonight, hon.

3 NICK Kate, baby, I know that tone of voice. Please don’t buy anything expensive. [beat] Anything else expensive. We still haven’t taken delivery on that Waltzerzt acrylic, yet. KATE [absently] Not too much sugar, Nicky, and with a slice of lemon, please. NICK Nicky nothing. We don’t have anymore wall-space as it is, and we’re starting to fill the cellar. The commercial break is over, and Nick disappears off-stage, then reappears with a fresh beer – his attention focused on the game. He paces. He winces at a close call. He mutters to himself. Stage lights on Nick dim. Kate continues surfing the Internet: she browses the news outlets and sees an article about a convicted sex-offender whom, was recently released from prison – only to immediately commit an identical crime to the one he was originally incarcerated for – headline is clear to audience. Kate jumps to Internet search engine, looks for The Ohio Sex Offender Registry, and begins scrolling through the photos. She pauses on one photograph: an older man. Stage lights on Nick come back up. Nick hears the SOUND OF A TEA KETTLE WHISTLING, and exits the stage. KATE [serious tone] Nicky… [beat] Nick?

Kate instinctively turns her head to the door, as if she were expecting Nick.

4

Enter Nick, with a mug of tea. He walks to the door and gently KNOCKS. NICK [jovial] Special delivery for Miss Kate. KATE [immediately] Nick, come in here now. NICK [jovial] I have a delivery for Miss Kate. KATE [cold] Just knock it off, Nick. I want you to look at this photograph of the man who is living in our back-house. Dim stage lights.

Act I, sc ii

5

Setting: minimalist Kitchen. Kitchen table, center stage. A window is behind kitchen table. Nick is seated facing audience. A small television, with its back to audience, holds Nick’s attention as he eats breakfast. A screen above Nick’s head displays a national news desk, with a crawl running across the bottom of the screen. Kate is seated sideways, stage left, at the end of the table. Kate eats her breakfast while looking at a quotidian. NICK I talked with Mustafa in the legal department about Schumann being registered as a sex offender… KATE Great, you asked a tax lawyer about a sexual predator. NICK He said we could be over-reacting, but that he’d ask his buddy he went to law school with … a prosecutor or something. KATE So now, we’re going to a civil servant who barely passed the bar exam to advise on what kind of threat a registered sex offender, who lives on our property, poses to our daughter. [beat] Why don’t you just call up Chris Darden and Marcia Clarke – the legal idiots from the OJ Simpson trial? MORE CONT’D

6 [stands up] Now there was a legal team – Darden moping around the courtroom and whimpering like a child not getting his way, while he shuffled his feet and looked at his shoes. Kate pantomimes her description of LA prosecutor Chris Darden in the OJ Simpson trial, by peevishly shuffling around the kitchen table and hanging her head. NICK [unaffected] Until we have more information, we will discretely direct Nancy not to interact with Schumann when we are not around. We will tell her this is strictly on principle… KATE How can you take this so lightly? SCHUMANN, an older man with a good-natured smile and strong build appears at the kitchen window, from stage right. Schumann KNOCKS ON THE GLASS. Kate, startled, jumps at the SOUND and faces Nick – her back to the window. Kate glares at Nick in an affected look of panic as she re-seats herself at the kitchen table. Nick calmly stands, and walks to the window and opens it. SCHUMANN Sorry, I didn’t mean to ambush you guys. NICK Nothing to worry about. Schumann hands assorted receipts to Nick. SCHUMANN Them’s the receipts for the lumber.

NICK Thanks, I’ll stop by later tonight and check out

7 how you’re coming along back there, if that’s okay? SCHUMANN Lookin’ forward to it. I think you’ll be pleased. NICK You always do quality work, Mr. Schumann. Schumann waves and walks out of view – stage left. Nick closes the kitchen window and sits back down at the table. KATE [hushed] Interesting choice of words – he didn’t want to ambush us? NICK [soothing] I think you’re reading into to what he said. We don’t know anything, yet. We should proceed cautiously, in a methodical and pragmatic manner until we sort this thing out. KATE That’s just it, Nick. We don’t know anything. I grew-up poor. We knew who our neighbors were. We knew what they did and had done for generations. [beat] We knew what church they went to. What their problems were. NICK This was supposed to be a starter-home for us. If you don’t recall, we intentionally bought in an urban neighborhood for the tax breaks. And on speculation the property value would increase.

MORE CONT’D

8 [beat] Schumann is doing a great job of rehabbing the back-house. The first sub-contractor we hired left with the materials deposit, and we haven’t heard from him since. [beat] We don’t need the income from the property And we’re getting reliable work from Schumann back there. KATE [not interested] You’re right. This is not my neighborhood. I don’t know these people. I don’t want to know these people. This isn’t even my city. This is practically a foreign country to me. [beat] And, incidentally, I noticed you didn’t buy in the neighborhood you grew-up in. We’re in your city, but you moved to a different damned poor section of your own hometown. [beat] Was that to avoid telling your own people that one day you were passing them by. That you bought property on their block only because it was cheap? And now that you had more income you were better than them? So it when it came time for you to move to the suburbs, you wouldn’t have to look them in the eye. NICK Do you have to be so tediously blunt and dramatic? KATE Listen to you. You didn’t grow-up talking like that. When I met you at university, you were just another a poor kid on scholarship. [beat] tediously blunt and dramatic

MORE CONT’D

9 [affected; pompous tone] ‘oh poppy-cock, darling, you’re being ever-so tediously blunt and dramatic, I say.’ [usual tone] Did you skip the middle-class on your way to the bourgeoisie, or did you just step back into 1925. NICK I hate it when you get like this. And yes, I’d like to think I’ve improved myself. KATE [ghetto tambour and cadence] … ‘the first in his family to go to college’, now ain’t you all proud-like? [beat] Well I grew-up poor too, Mr. All Proud-like. And the men in my neighborhood were strong men. Real men. Men who could step-up to the plate, and solve a problem when it needed to be solved. And I want to know what you’re gonna do about this problem? [beat] Mr. Nicky Williams, from da ‘hood. NICK [angered; she’s finally gotten to him] Don’t you dare lecture me about ‘real men’ and all that shit. You know who you’re talking to? I had to fight my way past dope-dealers, hookers and thugs to keep my lunch money on the way to school. [beat] One day some big kid decides he wants my new running shoes. So I took a different way home from school. Guess what? That little crack-baby was in the alley waiting for me anyway – he knew I was gonna avoid him. He sensed my fear. [beat] That’s what the predator does. He senses fear. That’s how he survives. KATE So you lost your shoes to a bully. Or did you run

10 away from that situation too? NICK Nope, I kept them shoes—baby girl. [collects himself] But we’re not gonna resolve this issue with mob mentality or violence. I told you, we’re gonna approach this thing in a pragmatic way. KATE [distantly] You’re sick. You’re willing to risk your daughter’s welfare at the hands of a convicted rapist. NICK We don’t know he’s a rapist. And besides, where is Nancy? KATE She stayed at a friend’s house last night. NICK On a school night? KATE Today’s Saturday, Nick. NICK Then I’d better get into the office. RINGING TELEPHONE. Nick snatches the phone on the first ring. NICK Hi, Nicky Williams. Kate undergoes a sort of transformation – she settles into a hauteur attitude, and feels in control. She watches Nick on the telephone with a knowing look, as though Nick were an infant.

NICK (Cont’d) Yes Mustafa. I was just talking about you.

11 [beat] Okay. [beat] And now what does ‘GSI’ mean? [beat] What’s that? [beat] Yeah, I was just about to come into the office. You know me better than I do. [beat] See you then. And thanks. Nick hangs up the telephone and turns to Kate whom, is looking at him through her affected dignity. KATE Tell me. Is Mustafa a Palestinian? NICK [unsure of her direction] No. KATE Okay, now the appropriate thing to do here would be to complete the thought, without waiting for me to ask the next logical question. NICK And what is the next logical question? KATE Oh, don’t make me pull words out of your mouth. What would Mustafa’s nationality be, then? NICK American. KATE Goddamnit Nick. Don’t act like you’re so goddamned smart that you’re thick. I’ve seen you with your colleagues and you don’t behave like this. NICK [relenting]

12 Mustafa is of Egyptian ethnicity, okay. He’s first Generation Egyptian-American, okay? And no, he’s not Muslim, he’s Christian. Does that make you feel safer? KATE [distantly] No Nick, I don’t feel any safer with a convicted child molester living in the back-house. I really don’t for some reason… [beat] I guess I’m just not feeling up to giving Schumann a second chance, while risking my child’s health… NICK [enraged] If you could just focus on one idea, instead of trying to manipulate the conversation… KATE [disappointment] Oh Nicky, don’t be this way… NICK You arrogant woman. KATE Tell me something, Nick. Who owns the corner stores in this neighborhood? NICK [resigned] Arabs, Kate, Arabs. Now what’s your point? KATE Why do you think the food selection at the supermarkets here is so bad, while the prices are so much higher – the direct opposite of the supermarkets in the suburbs, where we do our shopping?

NICK Because the people who live here cannot travel

13 outside of the immediate neighborhood very easily. And they have to buy what the stores stock, too. I know all about the socio-economics of living on the Near West Side. What is your point? [beat] Are you trying to tell me you’re a socialist, suddenly? You’ve gone off topic three or four times. Now you want to discuss micro economics, after jumping from Schumann to Mustafa to the shopping proclivities of the people we live with? [beat] Are you even aware you’re doing that? KATE [dismissive] I just think you are taking what you need and not giving anything back to your community. [beat] Couldn’t you find time to do some charity work? NICK God, you’re all over the place today. [beat] What are you talking about? You attend fund raisers for the art museum so you can socialize with society-types. How does that help to improve the shopping habits of Joe Six-Pack? KATE So Nick, what did your tax lawyer tell you about the man who lives in our back-house? NICK [regaining control] Kate, you abruptly change the subject one more time and you can have a conversation with yourself. KATE Oh, the suspense is killing me. Just say it. NICK Schumann was incarcerated twice. Gross

14 sexual imposition, compelling prostitution and sex with a minor. KATE Oh my God… our little Nancy. NICK Now wait a minute, this could’ve been with some girl who was fifteen going on thirty. KATE Isn’t that interesting, you immediately take Schumann’s side and feel compelled to make excuses for him. And just what is ‘gross sexual imposition’? NICK Mustafa said it’s not clearly defined, and encompasses a wide range of inappropriate behaviors. Dim stage lights.

Act I, sc. iii

15 Setting: minimalist. Nick’s office. Expansive windows, stage right, indicate a corner office in a tall building over-looking the lake. A sleek contemporary desk is center stage – there is nothing stage left (his office is not too big). Nick is seated at his desk, absorbed in paperwork. MUSTAFA enters Nick’s office. NICK There he is, my go-to guy in legal. MUSTAFA You catch the fights the other night? NICK It was an embarrassment. They should’ve just turned-up the music and let them dance. MUSTAFA I have tickets for tomorrow. You wanna go? NICK Tickets any good? [beat] That was a joke, feel free to laugh. MUSTAFA I can never be sure with you. You’re always so serious. I would never play poker with you, Nicky Williams. No way, man.

NICK So tell me, ‘Stafa, what is the deal with this

16 Schumann-guy who is living on my own property? [beat] I mean what kind of recidivism rate to these guys have? How long does he have to be registered and what kind of follow-up is being done? MUSTAFA What do you really care? You’ll be in Frisco soon, anyway. Leave Schumann behind for somebody else to worry about. NICK What do you mean, I’m going to ‘Frisco’ soon anyway? MUSTAFA Oops. NICK C’mon man, cat’s outta the bag now. MUSTAFA Upstairs is getting ready to offer you a promotion. No more middle management, my friend. Mabruuk, you made it. NICK How do you know this? MUSTAFA They run everything past us in legal, Nick. I mean everything. They leave nothing to chance. Every thing, every decision that is, is evaluated as a potential liability. Litigation is too expensive and it makes for poor public relations. NICK I feel so naïve – that should’ve occurred to me.

MUSTAFA We don’t advertise it. It makes people suspicious.

17 And it makes upstairs look like the Department of Homeland Security – snooping around. NICK Well, I appreciate the advance notice. MUSTAFA Just keep my name out of it. NICK Yeah, of course. MUSTAFA I like you, Nick. You don’t ask me about belly-dancers and harems. You don’t act surprised that an Egyptian can be Christian. You don’t feel the need to tell me that ‘not all Arabs are terrorists…’ NICK C’mon man. MUSTAFA My family is educated – in the schools of the West. [beat] We are not a family peasants you see portrayed in the movies, simple merchants – whispering in doorways, selling vegetables, while foreigners rule our country… NICK You act like we’ll never see each other again. MUSTAFA You’re on the fast-track, Nick. Your profile is perfect for senior management. I’ve read and advised on your file. You always make the right decisions. You don’t complain. You resolve conflict before it starts. MORE CONT’D

18 [beat] You don’t let anything get in your way—and you’re almost unmerciful in that respect. Frisco is about results. Results, results, results. Once you get to San Francisco, I’m just another rung on the ladder you climbed to get there. Nick stands and picks up a golf putter from behind his desk. NICK I think we’ll always stay in touch, Mustafa. MUSTAFA I hope so. Look, I got to get out of here. The day is slipping away. NICK Thanks for the heads-up. MUSTAFA Sure. Mustafa leaves Nick’s office, stage left. Nick sits back down at his desk with the golf putter, and leans back in his chair. NICK [melodically; to self] San Francisco – here I come. A young gal, INTERN, appears stage left. INTERN Excuse me, Mr. Williams? NICK [without turning his head] Come in. Intern enters. INTERN These are the reports you submitted for editing. I have the proofs ready. Nick inspects the paperwork.

19

Nick tosses it into the wastebasket, absently. NICK You’re kidding me, right? INTERN I don’t understand. Don’t you want to look at the suggestions we made? NICK I sent those to you a month ago. One month. You don’t really think anything your department Had to say about them is relevant anymore, do you? [beat] C’mon, they were re-written, proofed and went out a week after I sent them to you. Jesus Christ. What do you think goes on around here? Nobody in your office answers or returns telephone calls or responds to emails. I physically went there and your supervisor was ‘off’ that day. No way to contact her. So I leave a message with her secretary, and still, I never hear back from your boss. [beat] Now are you aware I cannot schedule an appointment with your boss through her secretary? That’s unheard of. No, I have to make it with her. Mrs. Abigail Van Hoorey – who never answers her phone. [beat] So I tell this to her secretary, and you know what she replies with? The broad tells me “maybe you could stop back by tomorrow” – so I say to her, oh, does Abby work on Saturdays? [beat] Dumb broad says, “no.” So I inform her, well tomorrow is Saturday if she would stop and fuckin’ think for a single split-second… INTERN Look I don’t know anything about…

NICK [gaining momentum]

20 Of course you don’t fuckin’ know anything. You work in an office of gossiping middle-aged suburban women whom, will get back to me “when they are ready to reply”… [beat] Whatever the fuck that means. It was the end of the week and there was no progress on the reports I submitted? Intern unintentionally furls her brow in a mock of Nick’s confidence and authority, and lightly swaggers her head—and this will not go over well with Nick. NICK [shocked; offended] Don’t act like you know something about me. INTERN Mr. Williams. NICK Shut up. You arrogant little girl. How old are you? Twenty? Twenty-two? INTERN I’m twenty-… NICK Just what is it you think you know about me? What is it you can possibly tell me that I don’t already know? I’m practically old enough to be your father. INTERN [starting to cry] I didn’t…

NICK No, you didn’t. You haven’t. And you won’t.

21 Let me ask you something, since you seem to have everything sorted out and you know so much. [beat] Let’s say you’re short on cash one month, because you didn’t anticipate having to replace both your hot-water tank and your furnace at the same time. Now you don’t have enough money for both your car payment and your mortgage. What do you do? Which one do you make, and which one do you skip? INTERN [flustered] I’m really sorry, Mr. Williams. NICK Well, sorrow ain’t gonna pay no fuckin’ bill. You have got to make a decision and execute it – we can all go have a good cry later when them thugs from the collection agency show-up. INTERN Mr. Williams .... NICK Come on. Make a decision and execute it. INTERN The house? ‘Cause it’s more expensive? NICK Swing and a miss – nope. You make the car payment because that way you can still go to work, and keep your job and maintain income. The house? Well if you lose that, you rent a crappy little apartment or ultimately sleep in you damn car. [beat] But you wouldn’t know that, would you? No, you grew up on the West Side of town on the lake. Where you had your boring fuckin’ high-class problems to worry about. Intern finally realizes she does not have to endure this, and exits Nick’s office – stage left.

22 She passes Mustafa, who has been watching the exchange for an undetermined amount of time. NICK [casually noticing Mustafa] You think I was too hard on her? MUSTAFA It was probably something she needed to hear. But I’m glad I wasn’t the one to tell her. NICK Why is that? MUSTAFA You know Sanderson, who just made senior vice-president? NICK Yeah, I just met him – he transferred-in from the Beltway. MUSTAFA Well, that intern is his daughter. Dim stage lights.

Act II, sc. i Setting: minimalist.

23

Trendy restaurant. Center stage is a table with Nick and Kate seated. Stage right is a bar with young and older professionals. Stage left is the WC. Stage lights emphasize the table and dim other areas. Nick and Kate are on their second bottle of pinot noir. NICK Well cheers, darling. [raises wine class] My promotion means we’re on our way – well on our way. KATE [sighing] It’s all about you, Nick. It’s always about you. NICK [stuffing mouth with appetizers] You know what? [dialogue unintelligible] KATE [horrified] Oh don’t talk with your mouth full, you boorish slob. We’re meeting people for supper, and this is the impression you’re going to give. [beat] This is the man I married, here. Welcome to my life. NICK Who’s it ‘all about’ now, Kate? KATE Where’s our twig of a waitress?

24 Nick starts stuffing his mouth with appetizers again, and WAITRESS appears as if Kate had conjured her out of the air. WAITRESS How are those appetizers tasting? Nick holds up his index finger while he finishes chewing, and swallows. WAITRESS [to Kate] Why is it people always wait for you to fill your mouth to ask you questions? NICK [still chewing] If you’re aware of it, then why did you just do it? WAITRESS Pardon? NICK Pretty simple question. But I’ll re-state it. My question was, why would you intentionally do something you know is annoying. Like, for the sake of argument, ambush me with my mouth full and then comment about it immediately after. WAITRESS [she’s not taking this] I don’t know, sir. Why would I? NICK Because … KATE Nick, that’s enough. [to waitress] The food is fine. We’re waiting on another couple for supper so we’re still not ready to order entrées. NICK [looking stage left by WC]

25 That’s got to be them now, they said he was English. And there’s a guy talking to the hostess wearing a bowler and carrying an umbrella. [chuckles to self] No, I’m not kidding Enter Simon and Chloe: well-dressed, perhaps ten-to-fifteen years older than Nick and Kate. Nick stands as they approach the table. NICK You must be Simon. SIMON Yes, brilliant. And may I present my wife, Chloe. KATE It’s nice to meet you. They sit. WAITRESS Would you like something to drink? SIMON [to Nick] Don’t know. Are we formal tonight? NICK We’re on our second bottle. SIMON Aces! I’m in the mood for a good piss-up. CHLOE Darling … SIMON [to Waitress] A Beefeater gimlet, if you will. [to Chloe] What’ll it be? CHLOE A glass of your house chardonnay.

26

Waitress leaves. SIMON Looks like we’ll be sharing an office until you ship out to San Francisco. [beat] Wasn’t it your Mark Twain who once said, [alters his speaking voice] ‘one of the coldest winters I spent was a summer in San Francisco’? CHLOE Simon’s quite a fan of American writers. SIMON Yes, I’m currently reading a collected works by CK Williams. [beat] Do you read Williams? KATE I thought American literature was frowned upon in England. CHLOE No, that’s the contemporary Scottish writers. SIMON And we hardly consider Yank writing as ‘literature’. Laughter at the table. Waitress arrives with drinks. Simon raises his glass. SIMON To our respective promotions. They clink glasses. Simon practically gulps his gimlet. SIMON

27 Nick, I look forward to seeing how you handle things here – transitions abroad or even domestic can be dodgy territory. [beat] Do you know much about your new posting? NICK Yes. I was just out there for about a week. And I expect to be out there again at least once while we break you in. SIMON So you’ve met your new boss, and all? NICK Yeah, I’ll be moving into his office pretty soon. SIMON [unsure] I see. NICK He’s a real piece of work, this guy. He’s what you would call one of those ‘functional idiots’. You know the type. You wonder how he makes his way through life. Simon lifts an empty glass to signal Waitress he’s ready for another drink. Kate fills the wine glasses, emptying the bottle. KATE [to Chloe] Nick has these little categories and titles for people. It’s a hobby for him. ‘Functional idiot’, would be a perfect example. Waitress arrives at table. WAITRESS Another gimlet, sir? NICK No, he was waving an empty glass in the air

28 to signal he needs a cigarette. KATE Go Nick. NICK You’d better bring another bottle of wine while you’re at it – if this is the level we’re cruising at. WAITRESS Did you have a chance to look at the menus? I could tell you our specials. SIMON And I’d love to hear them with a fresh drink in my hand. Waitress leaves. SIMON So tell me about this ‘functional idiot’, Nick. You’ve whetted my interest. NICK Alright, this guy, Bob. For some reason they’re always named ‘Bob’, never fails. He calls me into his office and urgently says he needs to tell me something. Like the place is on fire. [beat] So he sits down at his desk and he looks me dead in the eye, gets all serious, and says, “Nick, I’m gay.” [beat] Yeah, I know. Who cares? So I, at a loss for the appropriate reply say “congratulations, Bob. That’s really great.” SIMON This is your immediate supervisor?

NICK Yeah, I’m getting promoted to junior vice president

29 and this is the guy I have to answer to. [beat] The funny part is, everyone already knows he’s gay. He’s overly-gay. Maybe it was all the Marilyn Monroe memorabilia that painted his office, but I pretty much figured out his orientation at twenty paces. [beat] He’s got this exceptionally beautiful wife. And kids. And now he’s getting divorced, which will be fodder for all the gossips in that building. And believe me they love their gossip. So when it comes out that Bob has run off and joined the lavender army, I’ll be poised to move right in, because Bob is obviously on the verge of a nervous breakdown. KATE So compassionate, my husband. Waitress arrives with drinks. SIMON Now you can tell us your specials. WAITRESS The fish is Sea bass Florentine, with wild rice and water chestnuts. The roast duck is a popular dish tonight, so you might want to order it before we eighty-six it. There is also Texas bar-b-que pork ribs with a bourbon sauce. And New Zealand mussels for appetizers, or with a soup and salad. Our soup is lobster bisque. SIMON [to Chloe] What sounds good, darling? CHLOE Oh, I suppose I’ll have the fish. SIMON And I’ll take your Texas bar-b-que. Waitress turns to Kate. KATE

30 I’ll have angel-hair pasta with a marinara sauce. NICK [to Simon] Kate has a behavioral tic that compels her to order off-menu. It’s something refined she has learned along the way. Just a little annoying. WAITRESS [to Kate] You come to the best restaurant in town and you want spaghetti? KATE Then it should be the best spaghetti in town. NICK I’ll have the fish. Waitress leaves. SIMON So Nick. What are you and Kate doing with your house? NICK Well we are going to try and sell it. But the housing market has dropped. Real estate in San Francisco is outrageous, so we cannot afford to remain in something here, we’ll need the equity of course. SIMON Will the company buy you out? NICK That’s an option, but as you know, our company is not in real estate.

SIMON Well, we may well be interested ourselves. And we would like to know the neighborhoods a little better.

31 The schools are important as well, we have a young son you see. Chloe’s mobile phone rings. She excuses herself, stage left, to answer it. Dim center stage lights. Bring up lights stage right. Stage right: the bar area of the restaurant is busy with young and older professionals. At the end of the bar are Mustafa, PIP FLANDERS, and KEBBY FREELANDER. Kebby is bellowing away, as is his wont. KEBBY I argued several pre-trial motions. We had a suppression hearing on my allegation that the photo spread was unduly suggestive and patently unreliable, such that its admission into evidence would violate due process of law. The motion was a total loser, but I wanted to get a crack at the detective under oath. I got him pretty riled up. I accused him of giving subtle unconscious cues to the witnesses in order to trick them into ID-ing my client. I accused him of shoddy police work for not doing a ‘double blind sequential photo array’ or a live line-up. [beat] By ‘blind’ I mean that another cop who had no idea who the suspect was should administer the photo spread to avoid unconscious cues. [beat] By ‘sequential’ I mean he should’ve showed the photos one at a time instead of all at once. Viewing them all at once can trick a witness into picking the person who looks most like the perpetrator, forcing a relative guess. MORE CONT’D I also hammered on his failure to video tape the

32 procedure and claimed he did it intentionally so he could come into court and put whatever spin on it he wanted. [beat] In summation, I told the judge that “an eyewitness identification must be more than just a detective’s self-fulfilling prophecy” [beat] ... and “these type of police abuses place a premium and speedy rather than accurate identifications.” [beat] Of course, it was all utter bullshit. [beat] Motion denied. [beat] The detective called me a “lowlife piece of shit” afterward. I laughed and said, “Hey, you’ve been around long enough to know I have to do my job.” PIP You sure can talk, Kebby. KEBBY Why don’t you have your writing tablet out, taking notes? [to Mustafa] I write half this guy’s dialogue. I should be getting royalty checks from Paramount Studios. PIP C’mon man, I got you a job as paid legal consultant when they were filming scenes here. And I recall your antics on the set—trying to sleep with the entire wardrobe department. Dim stage right lights. Bring up center stage and stage left lights. Simon emerges, stage left, from the WC. Simon looks around the restaurant, and holds his gaze on the bar. KATE [knowingly] He’s looking for her.

33

NICK [looking over at the bar] No he’s not. He sees Mustafa from the office. [beat] I better go over and say hello. You and Chloe can have your girl-talk. As Simon and Nick walk to the bar, Chloe returns to the table. CHLOE Where did they run off to? KATE They’re at the bar with their drinking buddies. Raise stage right lights – at bar, and dim rest of stage. At the bar, Simon and Nick meet up with Mustafa at the end. Simon signals the bartender to place a drinks order. KEBBY [to Nick] ‘Stafa tells me you have a creep living in your cellar. NICK Not now, Kebby. KEBBY [controlled tone; lowered voice] Buy a gun and make sure it looks like an accident. cops won’t care. Even if they refer it to the DA’s office—there will never be an indictment. Never. NICK I said, not now. Simon disengages from the bartender and turns to the group. SIMON First round’s on me then, boys. NICK Simon, you’ve met Mustafa at the office.

34 [beat: Simon and Mustafa acknowledge each other] Pip here writes shoot-‘em-up crime novels. And Kebby is a criminal defense lawyer. Two peas in a pod. [to group] Simon has been a bit of a ghost around the office. I kept hearing about him through everyone else, but I never met him until tonight. SIMON Say, you’re not the Pip Flanders by chance? KEBBY Oh no. Pip’s already got an ego raging like a forest fire. PIP Yes I am. And yes I do. SIMON I’ve seen your work in crime anthologies. Would you consider signing one sometime for me? I’m a bit of a crime buff—both true and fiction. PIP Sure. I’m easy to find. I keep a stool warm here most nights. I’d be flattered to sign something for you. Dim stage lights.

Act II, sc. ii Setting: minimalist.

35

Nick’s office. Expansive windows, stage right, indicate a corner office in a tall building over-looking the lake. A sleek contemporary desk is center stage, and a small chesterfield faces audience. Nick and Simon enter, carrying bound reports. Nick sits behind his desk. Simon sits on the chesterfield. NICK As you can see, the CEO sleeps through our quarterly board meetings. SIMON CEOs are simply rubber stamps these days, aren’t they? NICK Enron’s collapse changed the dynamic of that position. They LAUGH, knowingly. SIMON Thanks for letting me stay with you and Kate. Your house is certainly cozy, and the privacy is quite nice. [beat] It allows me to save the per diem. Say, I should take you and Kate out for dinner this week—you’ve been so considerate. What was that restaurant called where we first met-up? NICK The Taverne. But let’s make a guys’ night out.

SIMON Blokes-night it is then. Say, I’d like to meet up with that writer, Pip Flanders, and p’raps have him

36 sign a book. NICK I hear one of the studios is optioned another of his books—the one about the jewel thieves? SIMON I know the novel, Sapphire’s in Love. NICK Kind of a faggy title, if you ask me. But it sold well. And now Pip could cash in on the movie rights. [looking through day-planner] Tuesday is good. SIMON Have you and Kate thought any more about what you were going to do with your house? NICK It’s an old house for this area. 1890, which is recent to a European, like yourself. SIMON British, Nick. NICK Teasing you, Simon. [beat] The neighborhood is a transitional one. City council is only two members away from tearing down the projects—or, subsidized housing—a few blocks away. That will do wonders, once the riff-raff is expelled. But public schools are out of the question, regardless. SIMON Yes, of course. [beat] Your daughter seems well looked-after at the academy.

NICK We worry about that when we get to California—we won’t have the disposable income out there that we

37 have here. I’m still negotiating my contract, so I may be able to get a stipend for Nancy’s education. [beat] What about you and Chloe?—I mean, have you spent anytime looking around the city for property? SIMON Well, I haven’t made any serious enquiries, though, Chloe and I would consider your property—assuming you’re not going to hold onto it as an income property. NICK Can’t afford to. We need the equity. But Simon … SIMON You seem hesitant … NICK No, it’s just that … well, I … SIMON Yes, you said it was a transitional neighborhood. And that city council hasn’t voted to eliminate the low-income housing projects. NICK We took a risk, purchasing where we did, and it has been good for us. The refurbishments to the main house, and the on-going work Schumann is doing on the back-house have sincerely increased the property value. [beat] And the crime element has certainly abated. The cops are on top of things. So Kate and I are looking to make some decent money. But … SIMON Yes, of course we’d have to send our son to private school, but we’d probably do that regardless of where we bought—education is paramount. But even if the neighborhood plateaus, we’d have the income from the back-house—your man, Schumann, is he reliable? NICK I have no attachment to Schumann. Once he finishes the work, I doubt he would be able to afford the rent

38 anyway—the man is putting himself out of a home. SIMON Well, I’m sure we could work out something with the man, no need to turn him out on his ear. NICK When we go to the Taverne on Tuesday, I’ll ask Kebby Freelander, the lawyer, what’s going on as far as removing the projects from the neighborhood. Kebby is aware of the machinations at city hall. That guy lives and breathes graft and kickbacks. [beat] It’s just that, well, if the housing market softens, I don’t want tension between us. What’s that line from Hamlet? SIMON “Neither a lender nor borrower be For loan oft loses both itself and friend” Four hundred years old, and they’re still relevant ideas. NICK We can work something out with the house. If you want, Simon. Why don’t you occupy it while Kate and I make our transition to San Francisco. We can list the house at the same time. If you decide it’s what you’re interested in buying, then we’ll give you the first shot at it. [beat] I mean, this way you won’t be buying property in an unfamiliar market. [beat] Say, how long have you been with the company? Sorry, but I really haven’t asked you about yourself, and I don’t want to appear disinterested. There has just been so much happening so fast.

SIMON No worries. [beat]

39 Not all that long—‘bout five years, now. I was working in aid and development previously. Africa initially. South East Asia later. I got out of field work and segued into administrative work—but the bureaucrats in development drove me out. All promises and rhetoric—nothing ever comes to fruition. NICK I worked with USAID—in the 80’s. Between college and my MBA. SIMON Yes. Good. Then you understand. So frequently there is little point in talking about this with people. They simply have no idea what you’re saying to them. Or, they really don’t care about aid and development. And understandably so. I mean what’s another starving kid in a remote part of the world to them? We have our own hopes, dreams and concerns over here. Not to sound cynical. But that’s the reality I’ve experienced. [beat] I was with Oxfam at that time, the 80’s, and for quite some time—too long actually. Don’t know what was keeping me from making the transition into the private sector. [beat] Don’t uh, don’t suppose you were the same Nicky Williams from the Sudan Affair? [beat] I seem to recall you from the British Club in Nairobi. NICK [effortlessly] I was just a kid out of college looking to expand my horizons. So I worked in development for a few years. They sent me to Africa to work with food distribution. I was a liaison to the private contractors who were working independently. SIMON Yes, we were in a joint action with World Food Program. For refugees from the Sudanese

40 civil war. [beat] Whatever happened with … [beat] your name … [beat] well, I recall it came up with that weapons nuisance. Something about diverting food drops to Uganda and running guns into South Sudan to the SPLA. The military attaché from the club—well, he was a dear friend, and we’d gone to school together, you see. [beat] I mean that whole affair was an open secret in Nairobi. Nick stands-up behind his desk, walks across the stage and closes the door to his office. Nick returns and reseats himself behind the desk. NICK For the record, I wasn’t involved in anything illegal. And as far as this aircraft and the food drops—well … [collecting himself] Never mind. Simon, I don’t follow politics. That’s not my game. I follow money and opportunity. I had learnt very early on that I’m a businessman. Now the people we were trying to help were fighting for their lives—you can’t defend yourself with a bag of grain when the other guy has a gun. But the other guy can certainly take that bag of grain away from you with his gun. So yes, I felt for the refugees. And whatever that ‘weapons nuisance’ was about, it was ultimately good for our mutual interests in the region. SIMON I think we were all trying to make a difference. Whatever that means. Or whatever that meant.

NICK Simon, that was twenty years ago. It was war in Africa. Nobody here really cares about Africans,

41 for Christ’s sake. Let it go. I was able to help the people we went there to help, and I was also able to make a little money on the side—enough to ease the financial strain of grad school, and a little bit to help with the down-payment on my house. SIMON Nick, I stayed on and watched the fall-out. You left After you made some quick cash, saw smiling faces and had firm handshakes. It wasn’t all that neat and tidy. African politics and the blow-back were complicated. [beat] I was still working in development when Sierra Leone erupted and the Rwanda … NICK Well that’s the thing, isn’t it, Simon? SIMON Sorry? NICK Maybe you just stayed on too long. SIMON I left development and aid when it was time for me to move on. NICK And now? You’re ten years older than me—about—but I’m on the ‘fast-track’ as they say. That must be difficult for you, to have to slag through middle management, hoping to keep yourself in your job, at best. [beat] I inherently know when it’s time to leave. And I know when I see an opportunity, regardless of procedures. [beat] And I also know when to keep my goddamned mouth shut, Simon.

SIMON [unsure] I’m sincerely happy with my place in this company. The

42 livelihood it has provided has been quite nice for Chloe and … NICK What I mean is, we’re a multi-national company with a very public and a very international face. We pour millions into local development when the geologists are only doing exploration—never mind extraction. If something about … [beat] one of us making money off of arms deals in Africa were to ever … [beat] Simon, obtaining mineral rights in areas of conflict are already a point of controversy to rights activists. SIMON Oh God. Nick, you’ve misunderstood me. I’d never … NICK Simon … SIMON Nick, please know that my military attaché friend in Nairobi told me there would be no investigation into the Sudan affair because members of Parliament back home didn’t want themselves exposed as participants in something dodgy like a food for arms deal. [beat] And it was the only way around the arms embargo. The people were ready and willing to fight. They just had no guns. NICK Unlike our esteemed CEO, who sleeps through quarterly meetings, there is no golden parachute written-in to my job description. I serve at the pleasure of the board, Simon. [beat] God, look at the time. The afternoon’s almost gone. I’m going to the gym for a work-out and a steam. Care to join? Act II, sc. ii

43 Setting: minimalist. Taverne restaurant and bar. Kebby Freelander and Pip Flanders are seated at the bar, both of them visibly loaded. BARTENDER [controlled tone] Mr. Freelander, you really don’t need to use all that profanity with me, you know. KEBBY [dejected; absently] Yeah, I know Jimmy. But it puts so much more emphasis on what I’m trying to say. PIP [soothing] Don’t worry Jimmy. And definitely don’t take Kebby to person. Kebby is someone who uses his mouth for for a living—it’s how he makes his money. [beat] Much like a street whore. KEBBY Yeah, keep it up, buddy-boy. Keep them jokes comin’. [to Bartender] You know how much of this guy’s dialogue I write for him? I mean he wouldn’t know a writ of habeas corpus if I rolled one up and stuffed it up his ass. Which I practically do, anyway. [beat] I mean really. I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything, Jimmy … PIP [to Bartender] And that’s because Kebby never has to try. Being an asshole is something that comes quite naturally to him. No effort required. BARTENDER Have you two ever thought about getting married? KEBBY Oh Jimmy. I plan on getting married several more times.

44

PIP Feel free to miss the point, Kebby. KEBBY [snapping; belligerent] I knew what he meant. C’mon, man. I was just trying-out a little humor. PIP [to Bartender] In this case, Jimmy. When it comes to writing jokes, Kebby does gotta try. Nick and Simon arrive at the bar—Simon is carrying a book. SIMON Hello. NICK Kebby, can I have a word with you. Bartender has poured two glasses of draft beer for Nick and Simon without being asked. Simon places the book on the bar in front of Pip. Pip opens the book and signs it. Nick and Simon take the glasses and pair off with Kebby and Pip, respectively. Performative ‘cheers’ all around. Nick and Kebby move down toward the end of the bar, out of earshot. KEBBY What? NICK You remember that thing you said about Schumann? The old man living in my back house?

KEBBY Yeah, cops won’t take much of an interest in a

45 creep getting killed. Truly. NICK What about one of your clients, Kebby? I mean, I could pay you, and the money would go on record for sundry legal services you do for me anyway … KEBBY Make sure you’re out of town. Keep me posted on when you’re going back to San Francisco. NICK I’m only here for another two weeks. What kind of coin are we talking about? KEBBY Ten large. And it will look like a botched robbery. I get another twenty-five hundred for handling it. Is Simon going to be staying at your house? This could get a little messy. NICK I’m not sure who’ll be there. I think his wife is on her way back to the UK to finalize things. [beat] Dig this—turns-out this Simon guy was in Africa back in the Eighties, when I was. KEBBY Hell of a coincidence. NICK Yeah, and this guy has the cheek to casually bring-up that fuckin’ Sudan Affair. KEBBY I thought that was resolved, amicably?

NICK

46 That’s not the point. I mean who would come right out and say something to me about it? I thought the Brits pride themselves on ‘restraint’. [beat] I mean I know his type, Kebby. Him and his stuffy colleagues wrote their reports from the patio of the British Club in Nairobi—they were sitting around, chatting and drinking gin and tonics with other foreign service bureaucrats. Totally removed from the situation they were supposed to monitoring on the other side of the border. [beat] I was there, Kebby. I was in Sudan when the bombing raids hit. I saw the rotting bodies in the fields, with worms crawling around in their eye sockets. You wanna talk about the smell of death. Those images, that smell—that’s something that burns into your soul. And this guy has the nerve to … [beat] Nevermind. That was a lifetime ago. I mean Simon isn’t going anywhere. He’s one of these guys who calculates the precise minimum required to perform his job, and then does it—with no further effort or interest. KEBBY Sounds like you’ve got this guy’s number. NICK I’ve been watching him handle tasks in the transition. Simon poses no threat, really. I mean at his age? He’s just shuffling through life Nick and Kebby get up and rejoin Pip and Simon. SIMON [to Pip] Didn’t you think using the Rodney King riots as a backdrop for the novel could’ve eclipsed the story you were trying to tell? It didn’t, but it easily could’ve.

PIP There was just so much good material there. Like

47 the Korean storeowners climbing up on the roofs of their stores with rifles, and shooting at potential looters. I mean I try of these ideas as images, or cinematically, when writing the novel. KEBBY [to group] I was just telling Nick that the people at Shitty Hall are going to demolish those housing projects and let developers have their way with that neighborhood. It’s a go-ahead. SIMON That’s tremendous news for the real estate market. NICK I’ll have to raise the asking price for the house. [beat] Just kidding, Simon. SIMON So how are things in the criminal courts, Kebby? Any exciting stories from the trenches. KEBBY Well, today I was talking to one of my clients. And I’m telling this guy, ‘hey, why do you walk around with a jacket that says Hell’s Angels on on the back. I mean you’re just advertising yourself as a criminal as far as I’m concerned. [beat] And the bailiff is loving every second of this, too. So I tell my client, he should shave, cut his hair, wear a suit and drive around in a modest sedan. At least that way he’d have a decent chance at success … Dim stage lights.

Act III, sc. i

48 Darkened set. Night. Nick’s kitchen. Window, center stage with dim light visible from outside. Two people, shadows pass in front of the window. We know that they are inside because we hear them MOVING AROUND AND SPEAKING. VOICES [whispering; unintelligible; Spanish] Small arms fire: four gunshots, BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG. Flashing light accompanies the gunshots. The SOUND OF TWO BODIES HITTING THE FLOOR. Stage lights come-up, revealing Nicky Williams standing stage left with his hands in a two-fisted military pose, aiming a SIG-Sauer P220 stage right. TWO DEAD MEN lie on the kitchen floor, in a pool of blood. A kitchen table is center stage. Nick walks across the stage, behind the table, pockets his SIG-Sauer, and leans over the Two Dead Men. Simon enters, stage left, and rushes to the kitchen table and looks at the death scene, stage right. SIMON My God. Are they dead? Nick stands, and pulls a small-caliber revolver from his pocket. NICK [patiently] Yeah. Something like that, Simon. Nick fires two rounds from the small caliber revolver into Simon’s face, close range.

49 BANG-BANG Simon falls, dead. THUMP Nick places the small-caliber revolver in Dead Man #2’s hand, and fires-off the remaining rounds in the gun into the kitchen walls, at random. BANG-BANG Nick walks around the kitchen table, and places the SIG-Sauer in Simon’s hand, points the gun at the floor, and pulls the trigger. BANG Dim stage lights.

Act III, sc. ii Setting: minimalist.

50

Nick’s kitchen. Kebby Freelander and Nick Williams are standing, stage left, talking with plain-clothed detectives. Uniformed officers stand stage right, while crime scene investigators photograph scene and collect the evidence near the kitchen table. The three dead bodies remain in place, untouched. Dim stage lights.

Act III, sc. iii Setting: minimalist.

51

Nick’s kitchen. Day. Nick is seated at his kitchen table. KNOCKING at kitchen door. NICK [answering knock] Be right there. Nick stands, and answers the door, stage right. Kebby Freelander and DETECTIVE enter. KEBBY Nick, you remember Detective McFadden from the night of the shooting? NICK Yeah, sure. C’mon in fellahs. Nick, Kebby and Detective McFadden enter, and walk to center stage. They all sit at the table. DETECTIVE MCFADDEN [to Nick] Now like I’ve said to your lawyer, this interview is entirely voluntary, Mr. Williams. I’ve gone over your statement. I’ve looked at the forensics and the ballistics and traced the trajectories. Detective McFadden stands, and shuffles across the kitchen, stage right—he looks like he’s rehearsed this, in a Colombo sort-of-way.

DETECTIVE MCFADDEN So let’s say I’m standing where the two burglars were standing—I mean about where they

52 were standing, on the night of the shooting. [beat] Kebby, could you stand up, across the table from me? Kebby stands. DETECTIVE MCFADDEN Now, Mr. Williams. Could you please show me again, about where you were standing at the time of the shooting. NICK Well, like I said in my statement, I wasn’t in the kitchen at the time of the shooting, Detective. DETECTIVE MCFADDEN Right. Right, you’re right. Sorry. [points right hand like a pistol at Kebby] Bang-bang. KEBBY Bang-bang yourself. What’s going-on here? I’m about to advise my client to … DETECTIVE MCFADDEN [interrupting] Nothing. DA’s not interested. I consider this matter resolved. My captain considers this matter resolved. [beat] But the British Council has seen a copy of the police report, as procedure. And somebody in in London, a military attaché, or some sort of liaison, took the report over to Scotland Yard. KEBBY And?

DETECTIVE MCFADDEN And Scotland Yard wants to know why your client, Mr. Williams here, wasn’t tested for

53 gunshot residue that night. And they want to know if they can test Mr. Williams’ clothing from that night. KEBBY They’re gonna need a warrant if they … NICK I threw the clothes away the next day. Over a month ago, now. What was I gonna do? Keep the clothing as a reminder of witnessing a murder? KEBBY Murder scene, Nick. DETECTIVE MCFADDEN Look I don’t really care about the semantics. Like I stated, previously, I consider this resolved. KEBBY What do you think happened that night, now? DETECTIVE MCFADDEN Doesn’t matter what I think now, counselor. I was asked to conduct this follow-up interview, unofficially, and on my own time, as a professional courtesy to another law enforcement agency in another country. And that’s because it was explained to me, by my captain, that we’d like to think that Scotland Yard would do the same for us. Everything I think happened that night went into my report, and I stand by my report. And if I change what I wrote in my report, somebody like you, counselor, will forever challenge my credibility. And I make my living based on my credibility, among other things. [beat] Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to pick-up my kid from dance lesson. I wanted a son, so I could play ball with him, and turns-out the little guy isn’t interested in ball—he just wants to dance. Detective turns to leave, stage right. Kebby and Nick follow the detective to the door.

54

NICK Thanks for stopping by, detective. DETECTIVE MCFADDEN [smiling; pointing finger like a pistol] Bang-bang, Mr. Williams. Detective exits. KEBBY Nick, I’ll call you later. Nick and Kebby look at each other for a beat, and then Kebby leaves. KEBBY (Cont’d) (O.S.) Say-uh, detective … KNOCK at kitchen door. NICK [answering knock] Door’s open. Mr. Schumann enters the kitchen, stage right. NICK Have a seat, Mr. Schumann. Schumann sits at the table. Nick stands and walks to the kitchen counter to pour a cup of coffee, which he gives to Schumann. Schumann adds cream from a small carton on table, sugar and stirs the coffee.

NICK [cont’d] We’ve decided to rent this house. Instead of selling. That’s for the immediate, anyway.

55 [beat] We had thought of having you perhaps do renovations on the main property, but we are going to wait on any further renovations, for now. [beat] A management company will handle the financial details, but we’d like you to consider staying on as a sort of in-house maintenance man. It can be a real headache, being an absentee land-lord. [beat] There is a young couple, just out of law school who are interested in renting this house. And I haven’t said anything to them about the shooting. SCHUMANN Like I told the police, it was late that night. I was workin’ a twelve-pack and watching the ballgame with the volume up loud, since it’s just me back there and all. [drinks his coffee] So I didn’t hear anything ‘til them officers started banging on my door. NICK [redirecting] What I’m trying to say is, I don’t want to outright lie to anyone about what happened here, if they ask. And I certainly don’t expect you to, either. [hesitantly] But I can offer you a place to live. With no specific time frame, though. I found that I’ll have a signing bonus, with my new job title in San Francisco, so I won’t need the equity in this property. There is development anticipated in this neighborhood. So I’ll be looking to sell in another two years, when the condos start going up, and the property values are consistent. SCHUMANN I’d be happy to stay on.

56 Schumann and Nick stand. They shake hands. Schumann takes his coffee cup over to the sink, and then exits, stage right. Kate enters, stage left. Kate and Nick look at each other, wordlessly. Dim stage lights. End.