The Gift

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The Gift By DAVID WILLIAM KIRBY The Dogbreaths Publishing

The Life and Crimes of Dennis Neilson

David William Kirby 2013

[email protected] [email protected]

The Gift A SCREEN-PLAY By DAVID WILLIAM KIRBY The Gift COPYRIGHT.DAVID WILLIAM KIRBY 2013 From the original Apr 86-87 SCENE ONE INT DAY We find ourselves looking into the glazed eyes of our subject. (Narration) I’m quite normal, really. A shy man yes, a man with few friends, no local relatives, no-one close. I could be your neighbour, the man across the street. In this big city of little people, where lives come and go to an end un-noticed; people like me are invisible. We may walk past you in the street, sit next to you on the train, serve you in a shop; then we are gone. We are almost faceless shadows; nobodies. I am just an ordinary guy; except, I have the gift... Born in a normal family, with normal everyday parents everything was sweet until dad died. I was seven. Good old Mum, I miss her so much, she didn’t cope so well after he went. She came to me and said he’d gone to a place called heaven; as if I knew where heaven was. I knew this might not be true because I could still see him. He was on the table, in a box; surrounded by sweet smelling flowers, he looked so relaxed there; the best he’d ever looked. I peered into his face and remember (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

2.

thinking that he’d never looked so peaceful; and there was that smell. A faint musky odour that clung to the air in memory of him. A smell that hung about the room a long time after he had gone to remind us of his peacefulness. Reminding us that he was still there. Laid out in his Sunday best, looking like he’d just won the races; whenever I smelt that smell in the future I knew he was there with me. Schooldays were shit. I hated the boys in my year and they hated me. As my parents were older I was always dressed in a style that they thought appropriate; this made me an outcast with my peers and left me lonely and isolated. What a lonely world that child lived in. The only contact I got was on the rugby field when their boots would scrape down my shins and cold fists would smash into my face; they’d laugh at my bloody nose, my reddened ears; spit into my sullen face and enjoy my tears. I’d lay in bed at night thinking of ways to get back at them, how I could hang them up on a cobweb and tie them with spider silk; pulling their arms and legs off; make them suffer. My thoughts were of boiling vats of oil and hot pokers; how I’d like that. Their muffled screams ringing out in the night, their terrified faces. Back then I hadn’t realized the gift. That lonely child grew into this lonely adult; boring life and boring job. I have a hatch in the wall and file suffixes and prefixes (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

3.

all day. A messenger comes with a list and I have to find the files, then they return the files and I file them away. It’s a job and as Mum would say, that’s the important thing. Working alone in my little room suits me. People disgust me really. It’s their smell. Most women smell of cheep scent or worse and men smell of stale cigarettes or rotting armpits; both make me feel sick. There’s a man in the building who operates the lift. A grey haired old man with a craggy face and bad teeth who has a most unpleasant smell. It reminds me of dry rot; mum always told me that cleanliness is next to godliness and she was right. I try to make an effort especially now; now that I have the gift; she was always good like that; my mum...

SCENE 2 INT DAY We find Simon at a small desk beside the hatch, he is dressed in a smart suit, white shirt and tie. Sober, he’d call it. He is reading a book. A bell rings and Simon puts his book down, straightens his tie and opens the hatch. SIMON Yes? (A woman leans into the hatch and inspects the room) MRS BOGGIN Just making sure you’re still with us Simon. SIMON Oh, yes Mrs Boggin, I arrive before everyone else and I’m generally the last to leave. You never know when (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

4.

SIMON (cont’d) a file is needed and, well, I don’t like the idea of anyone else coming in and possibly misfiling something. MRS BOGGIN Yes, we were in a terrible mess before you came. Now, let me see, oh yes, could you get me the Harris file. I think it’s ‘H.a.r’... something. SIMON The suffix is ‘H.a’ actually, prefix, Hmm let me see; yes ‘002’. The Harris file. (He pulls out a file and hands it over) MRS BOGGIN Very good, what would we do with out you. Still, don’t you get bored? I’d be ever so lonely down here all day with no one to talk to. SIMON I like it that way. I have a book when things a re slow. MRS BOGGIN How interesting. Oh well; must go, haven’t got all day. Thank you Simon. I’ll have it back before 5. SIMON That’s the rules; all files back before the end of the day’s business. (Narration continued...) That’s it, till I leave work each day around five thirty. It used to take me so long to get home to Mum that I decided to take the big step of moving out. We found a room in Hammersmith that I could rent and off I went. That was twenty months ago and she died shortly after. I think she missed Dad so much that after we were both gone she had nothing to hang around for. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

5.

I miss her so much that sometimes I find myself talking to her. Particularly when at weekends I go and visit them in the cemetery; see I wasn’t there when she went and never got the chance to say goodbye. It wasn’t long after she went that I discovered that I had the gift. It was an awful night during winter. Rain was lashing down and the wind was blowing hard. The streets were almost empty. I’d left work a little late and had missed my bus so I decided to walk; what a bad mistake that was...

SCENE 3 EXT NIGHT Simon is walking down an empty street. The houses on either side of the road are dark and the street lamps appear dim as the sheets of rain block their illumination. There is a group of teenagers approaching him blocking the pavement; he pulls the umbrella down hard and tries to pass. TEEN 1 Watch it mate.. TEEN 2 Fucking queer cunt; look at that stupid carrier bag. TEEN 3 Look at the woolly hat; what a dick head. TEEN 1# He’s a fucking nonce case. TEEN 3 Yha think so, eh. A nonce case, really? TEEN 2# I hate nonces man. Those fucking hush puppies; if he’s not a nonce then I’m a pussyman.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

6.

TEEN 1 My dad says all nonces should be shot. TEEN 4 Or stabbed up; they need to be fucked up man. Fucked up good and proper. TEEN 1 I got my blade. You got yours? TEEN 4 Don’t need a blade man, just watch. Simon hears footfalls approaching him from behind. He starts to turn as a fist pushes into his face. He sways a little as a foot connects with his groin and he bends forwards dropping his umbrella. SIMON You got the wrong person boys, I was only... TEEN 2 (Mocking him) You got the wrong person; what a fucking nonce case. Simon falls on the floor as feet start to kick him all over. He cries out but to no avail. TEEN 3 Fucking batty boy; quick see if he got a wallet. The other boys go through Simon’s pockets and one strips the watch from his wrist then they run off as quickly as they came; leaving a crumpled man crying in the gutter for his mother.

SCENE 4 INT NIGHT Simon rents two rooms at the top of a house which he now enters, blood on his face his clothes wet and crumpled. He climbs a flight of narrow stairs towards the attic, past other flats on the way in this suburban conversion. At the very top of the stairs are two doors facing one another, his flat is on the left. Simon puts his key in the lock and enters; the room is furnished with ill matched furniture, a table, an old sofa (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

7.

and easy chair, a television and hi-fi unit. In the corner is a sink, stove and small refrigerator. The threadbare carpet leads to a small bathroom/toilet and the only other room, a bedroom. He removes his coat and walks to the wall mirror with a tissue in his shaking hand. SIMON Look what those boys have done to me; I’m dirty, cold and, my oh my, blood; they’ve made me bleed. This has got to stop, I can’t carry on like this, being the one who gets hurt all the time. It’s not fair. Daddy, what would you do? That’s right, in the war you saw blood, you saw death, you saw people get it, he even cut the head off a snake that was choking someone. Dad always told me to stand up for myself and the time has come to do it. It’s me or it’s them. I mean who are they after all, what are they? Is it that I’m small, tall, thin, fat, white, plain, balding, god, I am balding. I’d not noticed that before. Is it the way I walk, the way I hold my head. The way I smile, snarl, smell or talk? Just what makes them hate me like this? Perhaps that’s why. All of the above. Well, it’s not going to be me anymore; no, today was the last time I get spat on, shat on, kicked and punched. The last time I eat dirt from someone’s boot. I am going to do something to make them respect me for once and for all. Look at you, Blood on your top lip; lost in this agony of rejection, fucking rejection. I can’t face this shit anymore. Those fucking shit, cunt, fucking bastards; what do they want from me. Mother; please mummy, mummy, please. What do they want from me? Stand up for yourself boy. Okay Dad. I will. I’ll wipe my eyes, the (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

8. SIMON (cont’d) tears. I’ll clear the blood from my lip and throw my shoulders back. For a change they are going to know the agony of me; the agony of being me; the agony of being. The pain of knowing me; the pain of knowing, the pain of me. Now, where can I buy boiling oil? In a world that’s gone sad, mad and bad. I’ve got to be sad, bad and mad. If the world isn’t going to change I am going to have to. That reflection in the mirror? Who is that. I don’t recognize that person. The eyes look similar but not the same. It’s not the same person. Oh, the silly smile, the yellow teeth, the eyes are similar but it’s not the same; it’s different. I’m different and unless you knew you’d never had known. It’s there in the brain. It’s there; it’s there and it’s never going to leave. Hardness. I can smell them on my clothes and that smell is making angry. I’m angry as hell and I’m not taking this shit anymore.

SCENE 5 EXT NIGHT Narration The next few days I was in my room, watching the hatch for file requests as usual. No-one noticed or commented on my bruises or black eye. No one cared. I carried on until a few nights later when I was on my way home. I saw one of them. He was near the place they had jumped me, a tall thin boy casually smoking a cigarette. The clothes were the same, the afro hair, tied tightly in cornrows. I’m sure it was him, this was certainly the place; is it him. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

9.

Yes, of course it is, I recognize that smell. BOY What you looking at? SIMON I thought I knew you, sorry. BOY I don’t think so, mate. Although I’m often here, I sleep in the doorway over there. If I stand here sometimes I can beg some food from passers by. SIMON Beg? What, you have to beg, are you homeless? BOY Yha. SIMON I am sorry to hear the. I mean, this country is so rich and yet there are still young people like you sleeping on the streets. It’s horrible, especially when the weather’s cold like tonight. Don’t you have family you could go to? BOY No man; no one gives a shit. SIMON I give a shit actually. Can I buy you some food or something? BOY Beer or fags, you could buy me some beer; if that’s alright? SIMON Okay, come with me and let me buy you a dinner; then you can have a beer with some food. BOY What, you want me to go with you?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

10.

SIMON Well we can’t eat here; for one thing it’s far too cold. BOY Okay (Hesitantly) I ain’t queer though. Let’s get that straight from the start. I may be hungry but I’m not going to suck your dick for a sandwich; okay? SIMON Sure. Whatever gave you that idea? BOY Well you have to be careful when you’re on the streets. It can be dangerous. SIMON Well you are perfectly safe with me.

SCENE 6 INT NIGHT Simon leads the boy up the flight of stairs towards his flat at the top. The boy smirks seeing the Simon has the key to his front door attached to a string around his neck. As he opens the front door the opposite door opens slightly and an old lady looks out briefly at them both before closing the door again. Simon shrugs at the boy and allows him to enter. BOY So this is your gaff, man? SIMON My mum found it for me; it’s closer to where I work see. BOY Yha, they’re good like that, mums. (Simon takes off his coat and then takes the bag he was carrying to the kitchenette part of the room and unpacks.) SIMON Beer? (He offers a can) I’ll cook something in a bit.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

11.

BOY Great, yha. Thanks. So, the old girl opposite, do you see a lot of her? SIMON Not really, she emerges from her hovel sometimes but I really haven’t got time for people like her. The smell you know. It’s awful. BOY She’s a bit soapy is she? I could do with a bath myself. Can I put the telly on? SIMON Go ahead. It’s only a black and white. I don’t watch it personally. Mum said I should have one because of the news; so I can see what’s going on in the world but I seldom watch it. The news is always so depressing. BOY Yha, I suppose it is. What’s your name man? I’m Paul. SIMON My name’s Simon, Paul. PAUL Cool, are you named after Simon Templar, you know, The Saint? SIMON I don’t know. Tell me Paul, how come you are homeless? PAUL You know how it is? SIMON (Putting on the kettle) No, how is it? PAUL Well, I come from a large family and we were all encouraged to leave home quickly. I was brought up in Leeds, thought I’d come to the big (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

12. PAUL (cont’d) smoke to see if I could make my fortune. Like a lot of kids in the country, I fell through the net, like. SIMON That’s sad. I’m going to do some chips; fancy that do you, some chips? PAUL Great, yah. Tell me, how did you get the black eye and fat lip? SIMON You mean you don’t know? PAUL No, how would I know about that? SIMON Oh it doesn’t matter. Let’s just say I fell down those stairs outside. PAUL (Awkwardly) Yha, they look dangerous. Steep. Are you not having a beer yourself? SIMON No, I’ll just have a cup of tea. You help yourself, I bought it for you. Have some Vodka if you like. That’s here as well. PAUL You’ll have some with the food? SIMON No, I’m okay with my tea, I’ll just watch you drink. PAUL Okay then. So you’re not one for pubs and the like? SIMON No, not me. My dad used to go to the pub occasionally. Me and mum would prefer to be at home, it’s the smell.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

13.

PAUL Beer and fags, yha, I know what you mean. What with that and the stale piss, it’s gross. SIMON No, I mean the smell of the people. People smells, I can’t stand it. PAUL People smells eh? (He looks at Simon strangely) Can I turn the telly over, see what’s on, like? SIMON You go ahead, I’ve got to watch these chips frying. Here, have another beer. PAUL Are you trying to get me pissed or what? SIMON If you want. PAUL Great then; if you give me a glass I’ll show you how to drink vodka. I love Vodka, I do. (Simon passes over a glass and, while Paul holds it, fills it to the brim. Paul knocks it back and soon the clock on the wall has moved on a couple of hours. Paul is in the armchair, his shirt unbuttoned and a smattering of ketchup on his lips. A plate with a half-eaten chip rests on the floor beside him and he is trying to light a cigarette which is hanging from his mouth) Fucking Russians man, they know how to drink Vodka. They invented the fucking stuff. Jesus, these matches are damp, have you got a dry match, a dry one, please? SIMON I don’t think I do. ( He looks at the boy with disgust and his eyes search the room before dwelling upon a large glass ashtray that his mother had given him, just in case, she had said.) You need an ashtray?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

14. PAUL Fucking Russians. Yha, ashtray. I was going to ask. I didn’t want to use the plate, like? SIMON No. We can’t have that, can we.

(He stands and takes the ashtray from the window ledge and approaches the boy from behind.) Let me give you this! (He smashes the ashtray down upon the boy’s head as hard as he can.) You thought I’d forgotten you, didn’t you? You thought I’d not recognize you. You thought you could attack me in the street, you and your horrible friends, attack me and that I would just put up with it again. Again, again, again. Well, you were wrong. (He drops the ashtray and catches his breath, the back of the boy’s head is dented and parts of brain are visible through the hairline. Surprisingly there is little blood.) I could see your eyes, looking everywhere except in mine, your smell; it was your smell that gave you away. Look, you silly boy, you’ve spilt your drink. (He steps around and takes the glass from Paul’s hand, then he sits the body up and straightens its clothing.) Oh, you may have hit your head, you have a little bit of blood on your forehead. Let me wipe it for you. I’ll put your glass here on the chair-arm and you can have it later if you want. (Simon slaps the lifeless face that’s looking blankly at him, then slaps it again.) Alright, don’t answer me. Perhaps you are shy or something. I’ll sit over here on the sofa and we can watch a bit of T.V together. That’s better isn’t it. We can both settle down now and put the past behind us; I’m just so glad we got it off our chest. Mum used to say, if you have a problem with someone, sort it out. (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

15.

SIMON (cont’d) I’d say we have sorted it out, we have cleared the air, don’t you think? Now we are both feeling better; I’m happier already.

SCENE 7 INT DAY We find Simon at work, sitting at his table beside the hatch, he has a book but is not reading, he appears to be lost in thought) (Narration) When I got up the following morning Paul hadn’t moved. He looked tired after being up all night watching telly. I had only stayed with him until about 1.00 a.m and then felt too tired to stay up any longer. I left him on the sofa, after all, he seemed happy enough. This morning he didn’t want any breakfast and although I’d made him a coffee, it was still on the arm of the chair when I came out the bathroom, I suppose he wasn’t thirsty. Today passed as usual, I took files in through the hatch and passed them out. Filed them away and at five thirty left to get my bus. The day was just like any other except...

SCENE 8 INT NIGHT (We find ourselves coming in through Simon’s front door) (...Narration continued) When I got home it made all the difference having someone waiting for me. SIMON Hello Paul, how are you? I suppose you want to hear all about my day at work don’t you. Though you’ll probably get bored when I start going on about suffixes and (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

16.

SIMON (cont’d) prefixes. A suffix or a prefix is part of a code we use to file away our client’s paperwork so they can be found easily. We have thousands of clients so it’s important to keep their records in order; I’ll tell you all about it if you let me take my coat off first; boy it’s cold out there. (Narration) He didn’t say anything, just looked straight ahead like he was in a trance or something; shy I suppose. I noticed a trickle of blood had come from his nose and had stained his shirt. SIMON Paul, I don’t mind you hanging about the flat all day while I’m at work but really, you could smarten yourself up a bit. Look, there’s blood on your... (He goes to then sink and wets a dish rag before wiping the boy’s face. He undoes the boy’s shirt and takes it off before putting it into the washing machine. In a drawer he removes a sweatshirt and puts it on the boy.) ...That’s better, you look quite respectable now. My mother bought that for me and she always said you can tell a lot about a man by the shirt he wears. I’m going to do some chips, you liked them last night although tonight there’s going to be no drinking and smoking. I know you like to do both but I’m not going to have you drunk every night. Besides it’s very bad for you. (Narration) He didn’t say anything but I was getting used to that. I made us both some chips with eggs and toast and put the television on. He seemed to like that, it stopped him going on about the Russians. I put his food on his lap and we watched Eastenders together. He liked that (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

17. SIMON (cont’d) a lot, the boy didn’t say a single thing all night, shy, very shy. I put his food on the arm of the chair when I went to bed hoping he’d eat it later. SIMON Night night...

SCENE 9 INT NIGHT The flat a few days later. (Narration) After a week he still hadn’t eaten his egg and toast but he looked happy enough so I guessed he was going to save it until he was hungry. It was so nice coming home and having someone to talk to. We were really getting on well together, then one night I noticed something had changed; his egg and toast looked a bit poorly but were the same as that morning. I saw a fly on Paul’s nose. A small black insect with a blue-black glisten to it’s wings. It was crawling around his nose without a care in the world. Paul didn’t seem to mind although it bothered me. I didn’t like to say anything about his personal hygiene; after all, we hadn’t known each other too long. It was then that I noticed it, a soft, flowery smell like rose buds in the morning or the odour of newly cut grass. It was the smell of my father. Father had come to stay and although I could not see him I could smell him in the room. SIMON Paul, Daddy has been here today hasn’t he, no don’t answer that, you’d only cover up for him. I can smell him. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

18.

(Narration) That night was wonderful, I even drank Paul’s vodka although I didn’t fancy his egg on toast. Daddy’s presence became stronger every day; each time I came home from work I could smell him more. The smell seemed to fill the room; like the flies. Life with Paul and Daddy went on for a few more weeks when one night we were watching television when there was a knock on the door. This was very unusual. Nobody had ever knocked before and so I answered it cautiously. It was the old lady opposite. MRS PENLY Hello Dear, I’m Mrs Penly. SIMON Yes, you live over there. MRS PENLY That’s right dear, tell me, are your drains blocked? SIMON My Drains? I don’t think so. MRS PENLY Are you sure, it smells like death out here on the stairs and I’m beginning to smell it in my flat. SIMON Oh, the smell, yes that’s my father. MRS PENLY Your father? SIMON Yes, he’s come to stay and, well, he’s a bit old. You know. MRS PENLY Your father smells like that?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

19.

SIMON Yes. MRS PENLY Well tell him to have a bloody bath, I was going to call the landlord. (She turned and entered her flat closing the door behind her.) SIMON A bloody bath, a blood bath. Yes. (Narration) Closing the door I had to agree that Daddy was beginning to smell a little green and that Paul didn’t look that good either, his face was looking quite bloated and his tongue was beginning to protrude. It must have been the flies, there were so many that it was hard to concentrate on the television, I don’t know how Paul put up with them. All that buzzing was making me feel quite dizzy. SIMON Paul, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude but I’m afraid you need to take a bath. I can see you are still a little drunk so I’ll give you a hand. (Narration) I went to the bathroom and run a bathe for Paul. Then I undressed him carefully and it was then that I realised just how ugly he was. Those bulging eyes and his skin was awful. He looked really quite ill. I didn’t say anything because after all he’d been good company for me although the sight of his naked body made my belly churn. I dragged him into the bathroom and slid him into the bath. I thought that it would do him good although he didn’t appreciate it, just laying there, not even bothering to look for the soap.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

20. SIMON Oh Paul, you’re such a dreamer. (Narration) He did look content in the steamy water but something made me think he’d not had a bath recently. I left him to it and closed the bathroom door and sat in the lounge for the rest of the night; his egg and toast looked out of place with out him sitting there so on my way to bed I opened the door and slid it into the bathroom; perhaps he’ll eat it when he gets out the bath?

SCENE 10 EXT NIGHT (On a bus) (Narration cont...) Funnily enough a couple of nights later I was on the bus home when I heard a young man arguing with the conductor, apparently he did not enough money for his fare and I offered to pay it. He seemed a nice enough young man. His name was Brian and he’d recently been asked to leave his bed and breakfast. BRIAN So I said to the geezer that I’d have the rent in the morning, I couldn’t help it if housing benefit would only pay every two weeks. So he wasn’t having it, pay tonight he says or you’re out. Well what could I do, so me auntie says if I can get to Croydon she’ll put me up until it gets sorted and I can get back in there, right bloody palaver. SIMON Are you hungry? BRIAN Tell me about it, I’ve not eaten for three days, why are you offering?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

21.

SIMON You can come and have some egg and toast if you want; Paul, my friend, might let you have some of his vodka if there’s any left. Would that be okay? BRIAN Sorted mate. My auntie always said that things turn up, she’s always right, my auntie. SIMON You’ll have to excuse Daddy, he smells a bit; you know, he’s old. BRIAN No problem, I love old people, my auntie always told me that old people deserve your respect, even the grouchy old cunts. Give them your respect she’d say and I’ve always believed that. So you live with this geezer Paul and your old man do you? SIMON Well Paul is just staying for a bit and Daddy visits, would you like some beer? BRIAN Beers good. My auntie always said never look a gift horse in the mouth, I never do. She’s good like that, my auntie. Did I tell you she lives in Croydon?

SCENE 11 INT NIGHT They enter the flat. SIMON Let me just put these bags in the kitchen. BRIAN Jesus, what’s that stench, smells like the rear end of a shit-factory.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

22.

SIMON That’s probably daddy. BRIAN FUCKING HELL MATE, HE’S GOT SOME SERIOUS PROBLEMS. GIVE ME A BEER, DO YOU MIND IF I SMOKE; GOTTA GET THIS SMELL OUT MY NOSE. MY AUNTIE SAYS THAT BAD SMELLS MEAN BAD PEOPLE; YOU KNOW WHAT, SHE’S RIGHT... (Narration) I was beginning to dislike Brian. I’m not sure what happened but soon I realised that he was laying on the floor and that the coffee table was upside down. I was panting and I think we’d had a falling-out over something. Brian had a lot of blood on his face and the ashtray was broken. Mum always like that ashtray, she will be upset. I lifted Brian up and sat him in the chair that Paul liked. There was a lump of glass sticking out of the side of Brian’s neck which looked very unsightly so I pulled it out for him. After tidying up the flat and clearing the smashed glass I got a dish cloth and wipe the blood from Brian’s face and tidied him up a bit. He seemed much happier after that; I thought his auntie would be pleased. I brushed his hair and we sat down to watch television together. Brian’s hands were very warm so I asked him if he’d like some help to take off his jacket and jersey. He seemed more comfortable without them. Then I noticed he’d had an accident. SIMON Brian, you’ve wee’d your pants. Would you like to borrow a dressing gown, I have one in the bed room. (Narration) (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

23.

SIMON (cont’d) Soon he was there, on the chair, clean in a dressing gown looking like he didn’t have a care in the world. The next night on the way home from work I stopped at the supermarket to get some food, what with Daddy, Paul and now Brian I was having to stock up.

SCENE 12 INT NIGHT (Narration continued) We were tucking into some eggs and bread and I was telling Brian all abut suffixes and prefixes when there was a knock at the door. This was really inconvenient because I hadn’t been in from work very long and my tea would get cold. Brian had been alone all day as well so it would have been rude to stand at the door talking all night. Still I answered it all the same and surprise, surprise, it was Mrs Penly. MRS PENLY I can still smell your father. What’s wrong with him? SIMON He’s old. MRS PENLY Well Dear, I’m eighty six and I don’t smell like that, it’s effing awful it is. It’s putting me off me food. Can’t you throw him in the bath? SIMON I would but Paul’s in there. MRS PENLY What, are you having a party or something. Why couldn’t he get in the bath before then?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

24.

SIMON I’ll get him to take a bath when Paul gets out; is that all? MRS PENLY You do know these flats are for single people only, don’t you? The landlord wouldn’t like it if he knew you had people staying with you. SIMON Yes; I know. MRS PENLY Well why have you got every tom, dick and Harry staying here then? What about the flies, I’ve never known anything like it before, can’t you open a window or something? SIMON It’s none of your business who I have staying with me. When Paul gets out of the bath I’ll make sure daddy takes one if it’ll make you happy, and I’ll open a window and try to get the flies to leave. I have tried you know. Then will you stop moaning. MRS PENLY Stop moaning indeed. You just tell him to have a bath or I will young man, do you understand? (She turns and retreats to her own flat closing the door behind her) SIMON Sorry about that Brian, old people eh. I know your auntie said to give them respect but it is difficult when they behave like that. Would you like a bit of meat pie, I’m going to put one in the oven and we can eat it when Eastenders comes on; Paul used to like watching that with me.

25. SCENE 13 INT DAY In the filing room. (Narration) I didn’t hear from Mrs Penly for a little while and things carried on quietly. One day I was in work, minding my own business when a strange face appeared at the hatch. WOMAN Simon? SIMON Yes? WOMAN They want you in Personal. SIMON They want me? WOMAN I don’t know what it’s about but you had better get up there sharpish. Have you been up to anything? SIMON No, no I don’t think so. WOMAN Oh, well. You had better see what they want, You know where it is. SIMON On the second floor. WOMAN That’s right. Come on, I’ll look after the files while you are away. Chop chop. (Narration) They had never called me to the personal department before. In fact it struck me that I’d never been up above the first floor in all the time I’d worked there. It was like another country with different customs, different languages and different ways of doing things. The people on the second floor came in through the same entrance every (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

26.

WOMAN (cont’d) day but then they ascended to a different state of being for the next eight hours, they became god for us to worship. As I made my way there I saw for the first time the places my files went to after they had gone from my hatch. Here they were on peoples desks, their precious contents spread out between the stapler and the telephone, coffee cups precariously balanced next to them. No wonder they came back crumpled sometimes. No wonder they got dirty. Then I was there. Personal painted in three inch white letters across the door. I knocked hesitantly. RECEPTIONIST Come in. SIMON You wanted me? RECEPTIONIST. Are you the man from filing? SIMON Yes. RECEPTIONIST. Take a seat will you. I’ll tell you when you can go in. (Narration.) I did as instructed and looked around this edifice of company management. The receptionist was a thin lipped woman with a neat suit. She sat behind her type writer and looked suspiciously at me over half moon glasses. I felt very small sitting there as the huge cogs of business spun around beyond my control. A loud buzzer interrupted my thoughts. RECEPTIONIST You can go in now... (Narration) (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

27.

RECEPTIONIST (cont’d) Her beady eyes followed me across the room and I saw the end of her nose tweak slightly as I passed her. Entering the other room I found a large woman sitting behind an even larger desk. She was wearing a tweed twinset and a string of pearls. Her hair pulled viciously back from her face giving her a severe look. She smiled crookedly for a moment and gestured for me to sit. She was reading a file, one of my files and every now and then her eyes rose from the page and surveyed me slowly. I could read her mind, I got the distinct impression that she didn’t like what she saw. MISS ROBERTSON It’s Simon? SIMON Yes. MISS ROBERTSON You’ve been with us for some time? SIMON Yes. MISS ROBERTSON Is there anything you would like to discuss with me? SIMON You called me here. MISS ROBERTSON I know. We were wondering if you had anything you needed to talk about, you know, family problems? SIMON No, I don’t think so.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

28.

MISS ROBERTSON Do you live alone? SIMON Yes, well, no. MISS ROBERTSON You don’t live alone? SIMON No, not at the moment. MISS ROBERTSON Who do you live with? SIMON I have a couple of friends staying at present and my dad is hanging around. MISS ROBERTSON Oh, a full house. SIMON You could say that. MISS ROBERTSON Good, it’s nice to have friends. SIMON Yes. MISS ROBERTSON Let me be frank Simon. Have your friends or your father mentioned anything about your personal hygiene recently? SIMON No, why should they have? MISS ROBERTSON Let’s just say that recently there have been complaints. This is difficult for me to bring to your attention and I’m sure it’s embarrassing for you too. You have been with us for some time and as a valued member of staff I would hate to have to make this issue final.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

29.

SIMON What sort of complaints? MISS ROBERTSON Well frankly Simon, your overall appearance has declined over the past few weeks and people have noticed. They have also mentioned the smell. SIMON The smell? MISS ROBERTSON Yes Simon, now what is going on? SIMON I suppose it doesn’t help because Paul is hogging the bathroom. MISS ROBERTSON And you are worried about being late in the morning. Well you’ll have to get up a little earlier and get in the bathroom first. SIMON Get up earlier? MISS ROBERTSON And who does your laundry? SIMON I do usually, but recently I’ve not... MISS ROBERTSON Having to look after old Dad eh? I know elderly parents can be a terrible strain for siblings and we understand, we really do. Now that we have had a little chat I hope too see an improvement in your overall appearance. I’ll make a note to say that you have agreed to get up earlier and that you will make an effort to do better. Okay? SIMON Of course.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

30.

MISS ROBERTSON This week? SIMON Yes, this week. MISS ROBERTSON Good. Now Simon listen very carefully to what I am going to say, okay? SIMON Yes? MISS ROBERTSON This is what we call a verbal warning, do you understand. It’s what you get before you get a written warning and that’s what you get before you get the sack. So it is important that things improve. I can sack you without giving you a written warning if the situation deteriorates to such a degree that we feel nothing else can be done. You understand do you? SIMON Yes. MISS ROBERTSON Tell me Simon, have you got a drug problem? I only ask because you look miles away, your eyes are glazed and I am sure this conversation is going over your head. Have you a drug problem or not? SIMON Not. It might be Paul’s vodka, I don’t drink alcohol really but recently I’ve had it in the flat, and beer, perhaps that’s it? MISS ROBERTSON We all turn to something when life is getting us down, I’d be the last person to complain if you hit the bottle, especially with elderly parent to look after. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

31.

But we have to be stronger, drink isn’t the answer Simon; not if you want to keep your job. SIMON I want to keep my job. MISS ROBERTSON Good, let’s hope you can improve things quickly. I will be paying particular attention to you from now on Simon; okay. Close the door on your way out please.

SCENE 14 INT NIGHT (We find ourselves climbing the stairs back at Simon’s home) (Narration) That was that, people had complained that I smelt; what a nerve people have. Talking behind my back like I was the smelliest, dirtiest creature to ever crawl out of the swamp. I know I’d not shaved for a few days and my underpants were a bit stained and perhaps the ketchup on my shirt was a little scruffy; but please, I care about these things. So the last thing I needed when I climbed the stairs to my flat after a long day at work was Mrs Penly.. MRS PENLY I’ve been waiting for you, young man. SIMON Hello Mrs Penly, what can I do for you? MRS PENLY Have you spoken to your father yet? SIMON (Unlocking his flat door) Spoken to my father?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

32.

MRS PENLY Yes dear, about the smell. It’s effing awful. Making me feel sick it is. I can smell it everywhere.. SIMON Not yet, it’s a bit awkward. MRS PENLY I know it’s difficult to discuss how much someone stinks but dear, he’d appreciate it in the long run, no one wants to smell like that. It’s not right. Is he there at the moment? SIMON He might be. MRS PENLY Cor Blimey. It certainly smells like he is, here open the door so I can have a word with him. (She banged on Simon’s front door with her walking stick.) Are you in there old man. Come out you dirty old bugger. I want a word with you. SIMON Look, don’t do that. MRS PENLY I’ll do worse, I can’t stand it no longer, it’s making me ill I tell you. Come out you dirty rascal. You smelly old git, come out here. SIMON Please, can you quieten down, you are causing a scene. The people downstairs may hear.. MRS PENLY I don’t care if they do, it’s not right I tell you. Come out you stinking bastard, I want a word with you. He has to be told, you know. SIMON Can’t you wait, I’ll deal with it tonight, I promise, let me get in (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

33. SIMON (cont’d) from work and I’ll make sure it’s dealt with straight away. MRS PENLY I’m not putting up with it for a minute longer, now get out the way young man before I do you with my stick. (She barges past him into the flat) Where are you, you dirty sod..

(She stops in her tracks and looks around the room. The flies and disorder throw her thoughts for a second and her jaw drops. She sees Brian’s body in the armchair and through her limited vision thinks it’s Simon’s father.) Is that you Old man. Oh, Jesus... (Narration) I knew it was a bad idea for Mrs Penly to invite herself in but I didn’t have a choice in the end. Then she was sitting on the sofa with my neck tie around her throat, her false teeth hanging from her mouth. I noticed she had a thick vein throbbing on her forehead and the throb appeared to be getting slower and slower; then it stopped. I picked her walking stick up and put it in her hands, She looked better with it; more relaxed. I took my coat off and closed my front door leaving her and Brian to get to know each other. SIMON Who wants a cup of tea? You can sit there if you want Mrs Penly even though it’s where I normally sit; still, if you are comfortable... (Narration) It was nice having Mrs Penly to stay, a bit like having mum back. When we were all watching television that night I curled up beside her and put my head on her lap. She smelt just like my Nan used to smell, a bit like wet digestive biscuits and wall-paper paste. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

34.

That night was really relaxed even though it had been a bit tiresome at work. I felt that I could put all that behind me and thought about how as a child I used to curl up on mums lap in front of the fire on cold winter’s evenings. Dad beside us on the armchair. It was just like the old days. Mrs Penly hadn’t drunk the tea I’d made her when I got up the following morning and she did seem to be a little cold when I kissed her good bye before going to work. I got a blanket for her from the bed room and put the fire on. Old people feel the cold. When I locked my front door I noticed she had left her front door open. I hadn’t see a key on her and guessed that she had probably left it in her flat. I wasn’t sure weather to lock her front door or go in and look for the key first. I felt a little uncomfortable doing that so instead I put her latch on and pulled the door closed. There, I thought, just in case she wants to pop home during the day to get her glasses.

SCENE 15 INT DAY (At office) (Narration) I got to the filing room that morning a little later then usual but all that pondering about Mrs Penly’s door had thrown me a bit. I hung my coat behind the door and got ready for the first request to appear at the hatch. There was never much for me to do in the morning so I sat at my table and thought about the way things had turned out. Paul coming to stay, (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

35.

then Brian and now Mrs Penly, My social network was really expanding and all in a couple of weeks, I wonder what Brian’s auntie would have said about that? MRS BOGGIN Excuse me Simon? SIMON Oh, Mrs Boggin, I was miles away. MRS BOGGIN I could see. Do you always park yourself there as soon as you arrive in the morning? SIMON Yes, how did you know? MRS BOGGIN Let’s say an informed guess. SIMON How very clever you are. MRS BOGGIN Hmm quite. Anyway, you’re wanted again in personal. SIMON I’m getting so popular; I was only up there last week. Miss Robertson is it? MISS BOGGIN That’s the one. SIMON What about the files? MISS BOGGIN I’m doing that today. SIMON Oh, okay then, I’ll see you in a few minutes. MISS BOGGIN You had better take your coat, just in case. (She pulls a strained face.) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

36.

SIMON Right, okay then. MISS BOGGIN You never know.

SCENE 16 EXT DAY (Simon is walking through the street) (Narration) I never expected to lose my job; not after being there for so long but as Mum used to say, nothing lasts forever. I didn’t go straight home that day preferring to walk through the town to collect my thoughts. There were people everywhere and I felt very alone. Sometimes they would look at me and shy away; others would just give me very odd looks indeed; none of them knew how popular I really was. That’s really when I realised that I have the gift of making friends, in the cold, unfriendly, lonely place they call London I’d really cracked it. I knew the secret to making buddies and keeping them. It was something that made me happy. I climbed the stairs to my rooms at the end of the day feeling jubilant.

SCENE 17 INT NIGHT (Narration) My friends were there to greet me on my return, Brian was looking happy now that Mrs Penly was keeping him company, Paul was in the Bath and Daddy was, well somewhere. SIMON Hello everyone, Mrs Penly, have you had a good day? Has Brian told you (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

37. SIMON (cont’d) all about his auntie? I suppose Daddy has been entertaining you all? Especially as you and he are of a similar age, eh, Mrs P? I’ve been sacked, you know, given the boot, shown the door; they gave me my marching orders. Guess why, you’ll never believe it, just because Paul, YES PAUL, wouldn’t get out the bath. Do you hear me in there?

(He goes to the bathroom door) Do you hear me in there? (He opens the door furtively and steps into the room. It is a black haze of flies. The smell is so bad he has to put his hand over his nose as he surveys the ghastly remains in the bath.) That water looks like it needs changing. (He bends down and pulls the plug chain before recoiling and exiting the bathroom door. Closing it behind him) Hip, Hip Hooray, everyone, it looks like Paul is finally getting out the bath. (He was just about to start to clap when there was a sharp rap on the door, he looked towards it like a frightened animal as the rapping rings out again. Then he hears the sound of foot falls going down the stairs.) SIMON Where was I. Oh, yes, now that Paul has got out the bath I have to get rid of all that horrible mess he has left behind. All that stinking mess in the bath. Do you remember Daddy how you once told me that when you were in the army you got rid of a terrible old snake by boiling it down? Well, that’s exactly what I’ve got to do. If daddy can do it then so can I. (He pulls out a large saucepan from a cupboard and places that on the stove and then roots around in a drawer for a sharp knife. Then putting a towel over his nose Simon enters the bathroom with the knife and a pillow case, he places the pillow case over Paul’s head and starts to saw at the neck) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

38.

Just like cutting up a dirty old snake. (Soon the head is dislocated and he carries it to the kitchenette and plops it into the saucepan with some water. This he places on the stove to boil down. He then closes the bathroom door. The television is on quietly in the background and there is a film of Gracie Fields singing ‘Mother Kelly’s Doorstep’. He smiles at Mrs Penly.) Oh you like this one don’t you? Singing ‘on mother kelly’s doorstep down paradise row there sits little sally there sits little joe she’s got a hole in her dress a hole in her shoe a hole in her throat where a vein pokes through but sally’s, the smartest girl in our ally...

SCENE 18 INT DAY (Narration) One Sunday shortly after I’d lost my job we were all watching a film and having a cup of tea; well Brian and Mrs P did not seem interested but I enjoyed mine. Boris Karloff was on the television and Brian and Mrs P were fascinated, I happened to glance over towards the bathroom door and I could see something moving under the crack at the bottom. Thousands of tiny white things that appeared to be curling, crawling and moving around down there.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

39.

SIMON Hay look every one, Paul’s got some friends staying... (Narration) I took a towel and stuffed that under the door to prevent them coming in because I thought Paul must have some company while he’s in there on his own; especially with all that mess in the bath. I’d tried to clear it out but I only had three saucepans and it was taking so long to boil it all down, then flushing the gooey bits down the toilet. I just couldn’t put up with the smell in the end. I just didn’t know how Paul could put up with all those creepy crawlies, but then, Paul was funny like that. It was around this time that Mrs Penly’s friend came to stay. I was pushing the towel under the door when I heard a soft tapping on the front door, I stopped what I was doing and heard it again, this time louder. I crossed the room and put my ear to the door. SIMON Is somebody there? (Narration) The knocking came again and so I opened the door slightly and peered outside. There was a little old lady with a very bonny hat on her head and a bright coat. She smiled, so did I and closed the door. I was just about to go back to my cup of tea and Boris Karloff when the rapping came again. I opened the door again and looked at the lady.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

40.

SIMON Yes? OLD LADY My name is Rose, love. I’m a friend of Mrs Penly, you know, the lady from opposite? SIMON Hello Rose Love. ROSE I’ve been trying to contact her for a week; I’m very worried and I was wondering if you had seen her? SIMON Who, Mrs Penly? ROSE Yes dear, have you seen her recently? SIMON Yes, of course. She’s been staying with me for a while. ROSE She’s been staying with you? How strange. SIMON Yes, we were just having a cup of tea. Okay. Bye then. (He begins to close the door when the old lady puts her foot in it) ROSE Well can I see her? SIMON She’s just watching a film right now, with me and Brian; could you come back? ROSE No love, if she’s there I want to see her. SIMON If you insist.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

41.

(Rose walks into the flat and her smile disintegrates into a look of sheer horror. She reaches out and her friend’s body slumps forwards from a slight touch. She turns just in time to catch a glimpse of the cake knife swooping through the air. It enters her neck and exits her ear. The old woman slumps onto the sofa next to Mrs Penly. Simon watches as she splutters and gasps before reaching for the knife in her throat, she falls silent) There you are, reunited. (He goes to Mrs Penly and sits her upright placing her stick between her hands again) There you are, all bonny, like Rose Love’s hat; and knife handle. (He sits on the sofa next to Rose and begins to drink his tea.) (Narration) The following day the strangest thing happened. Paul spoke to me. I was in the sitting room with Mrs Penly and her friend when I heard a voice behind us coming from the darkened bedroom. PAUL Come here. SIMON Who, me? PAUL Yes you. Come in here. (Narration) I went to the bedroom door and saw Paul in bed, he was smiling and gleaming and I though that the bath had really done him the world of good. He pulled back the sheets and beckoned for me to join him. I was feeling tired so I crawled onto the bed and sank into his arms. Soon I was in a very deep, relaxed sleep. Daddy was there, and mum. They were sitting at a huge table and it was laid out with cakes and fruits and the snake daddy had killed in the jungle. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

42.

Mrs Penly was eating a cake and laughing at a joke Brian had told her about his auntie and Rose love was chatting away to Paul. Mum put her arm around me and said softly Simon, you really have a gift, you know, a gift for making friends.

SCENE 19 EXT DAY (Narration) The next day I had to go out. I had something that I couldn’t flush down the toilet and I had to get rid of it. It was taking up a saucepan and I needed it for something else. I went to the local canal and threw it in there, it bobbed on the water for a bit before sailing off downstream. Good, I thought, that snake was worrying me. I don’t know why but I felt that I had to get it out the flat or out the bathroom at least. I remembered that there was a loose floorboard in the flat, yes, just behind the kitchenette, perhaps I could pull that up and hide it there. I was sure it needed to be hidden. People don’t like snakes in small flats.

SCENE 20 INT DAY (In the flat below Simon’s lives a young girl, a student. Today she has a friend visiting and they are sitting by the window watching the entrance) POLLY Keep your eye out for him, you can’t miss him he always has this long black coat on; looks like a vagrant or tramp. You’ll know him when you see him.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

43.

ALISON Are you sure you saw him go out earlier? POLLY Of course. He is such a weirdo, I get so frightened here at night hearing him banging around up there. You know he was actually singing bold as brass at four in the morning last night. ALISON No? POLLY Really, ‘Mother Kelly’s Doorstep’, as loud as he could. What with that and the sound of him pulling up the floorboards I feel like moving. ALISON Shame. POLLY Then this morning I nearly bumped right into him when I put the rubbish out. ALISON Doesn’t an old lady live up there on the same floor; hasn’t she said anything? POLLY Poor old cow. Fancy sticking an old girl all the way up those stairs; no wonder we never see her. For all I know she could be dead or something. You do hear of it don’t you? ALISON It’s really sad. Old people being isolated like that particularly when they have a nutter living opposite. Doesn’t she have home care? POLLY While you are here I might pop up there and give her a knock, see if she needs anything. As long as you (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

44.

POLLY (cont’d) keep an eye out for him and let me know if he comes. ALISON I need to use your loo first. POLLY Just down the end of the hall, you’ll have to flush it a couple of times because the drains are blocked. (Alison goes out the room while Polly continues her vigil. She returns a few moments later aghast.) ALISON That smell is revolting, it’s like rotting flesh. That’s not right Polly, how long’s it been like that? POLLY About a month, it’s sickening isn’t it. I would call a plumber but it’s down to the landlord, I have reported it. ALISON You can’t live like this. It’ll just get worse now the summer is coming. POLLY Right, I’ll leave the door open and I want you to call me if you see him on the garden path. ALISON Okay, but are you sure you want to do this? POLLY I’ll only see if she’s okay. Won’t be long. (Polly steals out of her flat and cautiously climbs the stairs to the flats at the top. She knocks on Mrs Penlys door.) Phew, what a stink. (She knocks again and the door opens slightly.) Hello, is anyone there. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

45.

(She enters the flat cautiously pushing open doors as she goes. Meanwhile Alison sees Simon on the path below coming to the house.) ALISON Jesus. (She goes to the flat door and calls up the stairs) Polly! (The sound of foot falls approach) POLLY! (Simon turns on the stairway and approaches her on his way up the last flight.) Hello, are you the guy who lives upstairs? SIMON Yes, hello. POLLY Are you having trouble with your drains, ours seem to be blocked? SIMON Not that I know. Do you live here then? POLLY Not quite. SIMON I thought the lady that lived here had blond hair. POLLY Yes, here she is. (Alison approaches from the stairwell) ALISON I was just visiting the old lady from upstairs. The one opposite you. SIMON Were you? POLLY How is she?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

46.

ALISON Not bad. No not bad really. We’ve kept you long enough... SIMON So you saw her did you? ALISON Yes. SIMON I see. POLLY Bye then. (Both women enter their flat and close the door.) POLLY What a weirdo. What did the old lady say, can she hear him at night? ALISON Her flat door was open and she was no-where to be seen. POLLY Oh God, you don’t think he’s done anything to her do you? ALISON I don’t know but I am going to find out. I told you what he was like and did you smell that stink, it reeks of it up there. I should be doing the neighbourly thing, like getting a metal health assessment for that weirdo but I am more worried about the old girl. Do you think I should call the police?

SCENE 21 INT DAY (Simon enters his flat, as he does he sees a vague old man sitting on the sofa next to Rose. The old man looks at him and rubs his chin.) SIMON Hello Daddy, how are you?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

47.

DAD Worried boy. SIMON I know, the snake was too big to flush down the toilet and I’ve got it’s mess everywhere. I don’t know if I’m coming or going at the moment. Have you come to help? DAD Stop fretting boy; what are you going to do about all these people. They can’t stay here forever you know. You’ll have snakes everywhere. No, I think you are in a genuine pickle here boy. It’s going to be a while before you are out of it. SIMON I suppose you are right. I’m not sure what to do to get out of it. DAD There’s only one thing to do and that’s to go to the police. They’ll sort it all out for you. SIMON Are you sure. DAD I’ll come with you if you want. (A few moments later Simon is heading Downstairs. The girls see him leave the building.) ALISON Polly, look he’s going out again. POLLY I wonder where he’s going this time?

SCENE 22 INT DAY (The local police station, an officer is standing behind a counter when Simon appears before him.)

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

48. OFFICER Can I help you, Sir? SIMON Would it help if my father spoke to you or should I? OFFICER You father, is he outside? SIMON No, he’s right here, beside me. OFFICER I see.(Pulls a face) I think you’d better tell me what’s going on. SIMON It’s about my head. OFFICER I thought so, what about your head? SIMON Well, it’s Paul’s head really, I thought it was a snake so I threw it in the canal. OFFICER You threw Paul’s head into the canal? SIMON Yes. OFFICER Was Paul attached to his head at the time? SIMON No, you see, I thought it was a snake? OFFICER And what has your father got to do with this? SIMON He thought I’d better tell you; to sort it all out. You see there’s Paul, Brian, Mrs Penly and her friend Rose and of course daddy, he smells a bit...

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

49.

OFFICER Of course... SIMON Well, what do you think I should do with them all? OFFICER Well, you could throw a party. SIMON We had one of those but it got boring after a while. OFFICER I know the feeling. How about this, see that road out there? SIMON The busy one? OFFICER You got it. Why don’t you and Dad go out there, stand in the middle till a big truck comes along then you can kind of, well, jump in front of it. SIMON Will that help? OFFICER It would help me. SIMON Oh, okay. I’ll think about that then. Bye then. OFFICER Tat ta... (Waves him off. A few moments later the officer picks up a bulletin that has been left around the station and reads that earlier that day a head was found in a plastic bag floating in the canal. He looks outside the station but the man is gone.)

50.

SCENE 23 INT NIGHT (We are in Polly’s flat, she wakes up and glances at the clock it reads 4.25am. She can hear singing coming through the floorboards above and footsteps banging out the tempo of the song. She gets up and sees a wet patch appearing in the plaster above her head) POLLY This is a sodding joke. (She grabs a broom and uses the handle to bang on the ceiling)

SCENE 24 INT DAY (Polly is looking out down her cup when she intercom and she lets waits for him to join

the window the following day and puts sees a plumber arrive. He buzzes her him in. Opening her front door she her.)

POLLY Thanks for coming out so promptly. If I’d waited any longer for the Land lord god knows how bad it would have got. PLUMBER What’s the problems Love? (He follows her into the flat and she leads him to the toilet.) POLLY The toilet doesn’t flush properly, it keeps backing up and there’s this smell. PLUMBER Jesus, that’s awful. POLLY I’m glad you agree, it’s been like this for about a month and it’s getting worse. PLUMBER Well love, I don’t think that smell has anything to do with the drains. I’ve done this job for thirty years and I’ve never smelt anything like (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

51.

PLUMBER (cont’d) that before. It’s like the smell you get in a slaughter house. POLLY Oh, don’t say that. PLUMBER I’ll have a look at the down pipe and see if there’s a blockage. Has anyone else complained? POLLY Not that I’m aware of although he may have a problem upstairs. The tenant up there, Look at this... (She leads him to the hallway and points to a wet the plaster above their heads.) That appeared last night.

patch in

PLUMBER Oh, I’ll have a word with him. First things first, let me check the down pipe. Is there access to the back garden or do I need a key? POLLY No, you just walk round. PLUMBER Okay love. (We follow the plumber down the stairs to the front of the block. He walks to the rear of the property and looks at the down pipe that brings the waste water from the upper flats to a joint with the flat on the first floor and then down to a drain. There’s an inspection cover which he uses a tool to pull open. The smell makes him recoil.) Fucking Jesus. What the fuck... (He sees flies and maggots swarming in the bottom of the inspection trap and covering his nose he reaches in and pulls out what appears to be clumps of yellow fat. He places that beside him and reaches in again and withdraws a long piece of skin; unfurling it he can see part of a tattoo on it.) What is going on here? (He places the piece of skin in a plastic bag and puts the inspection hatch back on before returning to Polly’s flat.) (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

52.

PLUMBER (cont’d) Here Love, who lives upstairs? POLLY Just some weirdo. He’s not right in the head and at night I am so frightened; why, is it something to do with him? PLUMBER Let’s not jump to conclusions eh. I have to have a word with my boss and I’ll come back. POLLY Is the blockage sorted? PLUMBER I’ve done what I can for now but it’s not finished. I’ll see you in an hour or so. POLLY Oh, okay then. PLUMBER I may come back with a policeman, is he in up there? POLLY I think so. Is it serious then? PLUMBER I’ll let you know in a bit, okay love; try not to worry. I’ll get it sorted.. POLLY Fine. Thanks.

SCENE 25 INT DAY (Simons flat) (Narration) So that was it. I am really quite normal, just a shy man with some close friends, keeping my own business; A beautiful period in my life was coming to an end. I was only trying to get by because Loneliness can be so frightening. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

53.

Sometimes when I think about all the wonderful things that have happened recently I don’t feel so frightened. It’s like this maggot, this small maggot that is crawling around down here on the floor with me. He and I have so much in common, we both have the gift of making friends. Close friends; friends who will stick by us. Through thick and thin. I can hear people knocking on my door, trying to get in. Perhaps they know about my gift; perhaps it is drawing them to me. You see, I don’t even have to move, I don’t have to make any effort at all. I don’t even have to flick my eye lash; like this little worm crawling at my side. Because I have the gift... The End.... All rights reserved The Dogbreaths Publishing. Weebly.com [email protected] ©DWK all rights reseved

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