The Family

THE TEACHINGS OF THE BIBLE

11. The Family This week’s Bible Reading Sun. Mon. Tue. Wed. Thu. Fri.

Psalms 104 Hebrews 9 Hebrews 10 Hebrews 11 Hebrews 12 Hebrews 13

Sat.

Psalm 105 Memorise Ephesians 3:14-15

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named.”

At the heart of the biblical teaching on the family is the head of the family, the Father, who is the final authority, the one who takes responsibility for the rest of the household. For this reason we begin our study of the family with a study of the Fatherhood of God. The apostle Paul, who knew God as Father, makes this unusual claim that “every family in heaven and on earth is named after him”. Our image of a father is coloured by our own fathers. If you had a father who beat you and was unfaithful, who got drunk and left the home, you may not have a good impression of God as your Father. It is important therefore to know that God the Father is good, kind, strict in the best sense, with the best interests at heart for His children. We hope you had that kind of an earthly father. It will help you to understand the qualities of God. The title father is given to God only a few times in the Old Testament. The prophet Malachi calls God the Father of the nation because He has created them. See Malachi 2:10. If God is their Father, how should they behave? _________________________________________________________________________ Isaiah also calls his Father. What qualities of fatherhood does Isaiah see in God? See Isaiah 63:15-16 and 64:6 ?

The roots of the family are found in Genesis 2:18-25 • Why did God (Creator and Father) decide that Adam needed a companion? (verse 18) _____________________________________________________________________ • How did Adam (man) see the relationship between Eve (woman) and himself? (verse 23) _________________________________________________________________ • This is the basic pattern for marriage ever since creation. What is it? (verse 24)

_____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ 1. The basis of the Family There is no word for the ‘family’ in the Old Testament. Three terms are used in the Hebrew language, each to describe a different level of related loyalty. 1. Shebet describes the tribe, such as the tribes of Israel (Genesis 49:28) 2. Mishpachah is more like a clan or small tribe. This is the word used of the 600 Danites in Judges 18:11, though normally of a smaller number. 3. Bayith means a ‘house’ or ‘household’, as in 1 Chronicles 13:14 – the household of Obededom. Read the sad story of Achan in Joshua 7:16-18 • Which word do you think is used for the Tribe of Judah? (16) __________________ • Which word for the clan of the Zerahites? (17) ______________________________ • Which word for the household of Zabdi? (18) _______________________________ What do you think is your Tribe (Shebet)? _______________________________________ What is your Clan (Mishpachah)? _____________________________________________ How large is your family (Bayith)? ____________________________________________ The New Testament words used indicate 1. lineage or descent (patria) as in Luke 2:4 2. the household or home (oikos) as in 1 Timothy 5:4 3. the relatives (sungeneia) as in Luke 1:61. Jesus seems to have come from quite a small ‘family’. How many members do we know about from his household? See Mark 6:3 ______________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ Remember to include Jacob (or Heli), Joseph’s father (Matthew 1:16 and Luke 3:23). No doubt Mary had relatives also. The words ‘brother’ and ‘sister’ in the Bible can also mean cousins or other relatives. The important features of a family in the Bible are: • • •

Relationship by blood descent. Absolute loyalty to family members. The family unit became the heart of the household churches. Read Acts 10:24 and 47-48 How many ‘family’ churches can you find in Romans 16:3-16 ? Commitment to one another in society. It is the family that held society together in the wider community.

2. The Importance of Marriage

The basic institution of marriage was given in Genesis 2:24 It is clear from the beginnings of marriage in Genesis that God’s ideal marriage is between one man and one woman. The word ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ appear already in Genesis 3. However very soon men began to take more than one wife and this became normal practice throughout much of the Old Testament period. The Old Testament is proof that multiple marriages bring endless trouble. Note the problems in just two Scriptures: 1 Samuel 1:3-7 ____________________________________________________________ 1 Kings 11:1-8 _____________________________________________________________ New Testament practice and teaching clearly instructs us to have only one wife. This is clear from the following Scriptures. Write down their meaning: •

1 Timothy 3:2 _______________________________________________________

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1 Corinthians 7:2-3 ___________________________________________________

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1 Corinthians 9:3-5 ___________________________________________________

The New Testament gives several insights into the values of closed-knit and happy family relationships. Think of some of the families that are pictured in Scripture. As you read these passages, answer the questions about each family. What were the strengths, weaknesses and struggles of each family pictured here? Acts 18:1-3 and Romans 16:3-5 What was it in their marriage that equipped them to serve the Gospel so effectively? 2 John 1-4 We know very little about this lady, but what do these verses tell about her family? 2 Timothy 1:5 What gave this family its strength? Matthew 21:17, Luke 10:38-42 and John 11:1-5 What do we know about this special family?

3. The Rules of Christian Marriage The New Testament pictures marriage between one man and one woman as the ideal relationship at the heart of the family and society. Today marriage is constantly threatened by

the temptations of our secular society. But it is still at the heart of the Christian community and witness. Read Ephesians 5:21 – 6:4. This passage contains one of the fullest explanations of the importance and the beauty of the marriage and family relationship. •

How should the husband relate correctly to his wife? See verses 23 ___________________________________________________________ 25 ____________________________________________________________________ 28 ____________________________________________________________________ 31 ____________________________________________________________________ 33 ____________________________________________________________________

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How should the wife relate to her husband? See verse 22 ____________________________________________________________ 24 ____________________________________________________________________

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Does Paul give permission for the husband to treat his wife badly? _________________

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Does Paul permit husbands to consider themselves superior to the wife? _____________

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How does Paul say that husband and wife should treat each other? Put this in your own words – it is important, because the world so often fails to understand the importance of getting this relationship right.

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How should children behave towards their parents? Verse 6:1-3 ___________________________________________________________

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How should fathers treat their children? Verse 6:4 _______________________________________________________________

Marriage is a life-long commitment. What do these Scriptures teach? 1 Corinthians 7:39-40 _________________________________________________ Romans 7:2 _________________________________________________________ Scripture clearly forbids divorce except for distinct reasons. Note what those reasons are: Matthew 5:31-32 _____________________________________________________ 1 Corinthians 7:11-15_________________________________________________ Scripture clearly forbids extra-marital and homosexual relationships. Explain the following: 1 Corinthians 5:1-2 ___________________________________________________ Romans 1:26-27 ______________________________________________________

The apostle Paul was not married. It seems that most of the other apostles were married (1 Corinthians 9:5), but Paul had his special reasons for remaining single. It is alright to be single — Paul recommended it. Read 1 Corinthians 7, especially these verses: 7 Do you think we need a special gift or calling to remain single? There is no compulsion (except to abide by our culture) why everyone needs to be married. ____________________________________________________________________ 25-35 What reasons does Paul give for remaining unmarried? 4. The Purpose of Christian marriage It is often said that marriage is the social ideal. We have shown that this is not entirely true for the Christian. In some cases and for good reasons, some Christian believers may prefer to remain single and free. The ideal for the Christian is not marriage. It is the family. • For those who are single (who would like to be married), consider how you can find your contentment in the household. • For those who are married and maybe wish they were more free, consider the reasons why marriage is such a valuable part of life. Note the biblical image of the institution of marriage. What do these verses tell us? 1 Corinthians 7:1-2 __________________________________________________________ Genesis 2:18 ________________________________________________________________ Ephesians 6:4 ______________________________________________________________ Colossians 3:18-21 __________________________________________________________ 1 Peter 3:1-2 _______________________________________________________________ 1 Peter 3:7 _________________________________________________________________ 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 ________________________________________________________

♦ Apply this lesson to your life 1. Do you have good memories of your childhood? Did you have a good father, who has given you a good impression of fatherhood? If so, thank God for your father. What qualities did your father have that remind you of God, your heavenly Father? If you had a bad father, do you have a bad impression of the fatherhood of God? Can you forgive your earthly father? Give thanks that you have a good Father in heaven. 2. How large is your family? Do you have a good relationship with your family? Is there anyone you find specially hard to love, about whom you should pray? Or for whose salvation you should pray? Spend some time in prayer for your wider family.

3. Are you married? Is it a good marriage? What can you do to improve your relationship with your wife/husband and children (if you have them)? If you are single, have you prayed about marriage or remaining single? What is God’s will for you? A Prayer while you study this lesson: Father in heaven, we thank you for our families, that have brought us into the world, protected us, cared for us and provided for us. We pray that we will have the grace and power to play our full role in making Christ the centre of our household, and in modelling our family on the Word of God. In Jesus’ name, Amen ♦ Team group study questions: 1. Share together about your families – how large? How many members are believers? What you appreciate about your family members? How you can pray for your families? Spend some time in prayer for your families. 2. Look together at Ephesians 5:21. Discuss the biblical role of the wife. Is it different from the culturally accepted role often given to wives? The do the same for the role of the husband. Is there any clash between Scripture and culture? 3. Talk together about the qualities of a perfect Christian family. What are the obstacles in the way of family harmony and peace? What causes adultery, unfaithfulness, disharmony and break-up of marriages? Share together the qualities that keep families together. 4. What is the purpose of marriage?