The Dethronement Of The Idols

The Dethronement of the Idols

One day Alicia decided to dethrone her idols. At a first sight, not very profound, this decision could seem impulsive and reckless and about to bring nothing good, like a mirror broken by an inattentive gesture caused by a misfortunate hurry towards an appointment of cardinal importance. An appointment that would not take place anymore precisely because of the broken mirror, whose shivers, of all sizes and forms, would spread all over the bathroom floor, reaching the tiniest corners, in the same way as a deadly virus spreads inevitably throughout a vulnerable area before its antidote can be found and applied. The aftermath of such an incident can be disastrous and long-lasting, leaving deep marks in the surviving population, its terrible remembrance being scrupulously passed from one generation to another to simply end by taking a solid place in the collective memory while making any possible happy reminiscences fade away. Comparably fatal can be the consequences of breaking a mirror, even if unintentionally, the seven years of misfortune hovering over the head of the wretch who has not taken his or her time to calculate or has purely miscalculated the time needed to reach that crucial appointment that eventually he or she misses anyway. Because from the moment the mirror lies in pieces on the floor, the unhappy originator of the bad-luck bringing occurrence will have to face and deal with the fear that will sneak in his or her conscience, like a mean air draft full of minuscule particles of dust causing allergic sneezes and disturbing tickling of the nose, until it conquers it completely, installing itself in it like a wicked little dictator, sabotaging all the actions the poor conscience will try to take. And in the end that conscience will cease being its own master but will turn into the slave of its uninvited tenant and, in order to survive, will convince itself of the normalcy of its new condition. In fact, Alicia’s decision, impulsive as it seemed, was nothing of an accident or chance. It had surfaced her conscience at the right time, in the same manner as a chicken pecks the eggshell precisely when it is prepared to come into the world. Her logic was simple: her idols had betrayed her, and not just once, so she saw no reason why she should go on worshiping them anymore. And that in spite of the promise of revenge that they threw at her: - You will be sorry, they warned her when it became clear she had turned her back on them. - Don’t think so, she thumbed her nose at them. - You can still change your mind, they told her. They were obviously willing to be lenient to her. - No way, she rejected their offer of peace. - Everybody has idols to worship and devote themselves to, they kept on trying to make her change her mind, proving more benevolence than idols are normally capable of. No one can live without idols. - Maybe, she shrugged. It’s worth giving it a try, though. - We’ll make you suffer, they warned her, scandalized by her defiance.

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- Feel free to do it, she mocked at them. - You will be sorry, they launched an ultimate warning. - Maybe. Maybe not. At this point the idols fell silent. It was beneath their dignity to go on with this absurd dialogue. After all, they were the supreme beings ruling over the course of life and engaging in a warning conversation with a mortal was already a favor they did not grant easily. Moreover, in this particular case, the outrageous boldness Alicia had treated them with defied the limits of their tolerance and there was nothing left to be said for their part. It was now time for them to put their threats into practice. Alicia, instead, had no strategy to elaborate or actions to implement so she prepared herself a large pot of her favorite tea and sat comfortably in the couch, watching TV. She felt nothing special, neither relief nor fear and the least was she touched by the sweet thrill preceding a grandiose achievement. When she got bored of changing channels, which happened as soon as she finished her first cup of tea, she poured herself another one and switched the TV off. She emptied the second cup in a flash, drinking with large gulps, without breaks, her eyes fixing her own image reflected by the lifeless display standing a few steps away from her. Her mission accomplished, she lingered for a few more minutes, the empty cup resting in the friendly enclosure of her hands. Then, suddenly and with sharp movements, she placed the cup on the coffee table, turned off the light and went straight to bed. In the beginning nobody took note of the fact that Alicia had denied her idols. That was due to the fact that nothing in her behavior betrayed the radical change she was going through, so people went on treating her in the same way, as if she were still one of them. It is true that she was sullen most of the time and hardly did she take part in the idols-centered conversations, indifferent to the others’ considerations and appreciations of their own idols’ actions and rewards but she had been like that for some time and while everybody respected her privacy, no one doubted her faith and fidelity either. Despite her short outbursts now and then she still honored her duties towards her idols, that was beyond any doubt, and no matter what the roots of her discontentment were – after all, everyone had the right to feel dissatisfied once in a while, in the end she would realign herself to the general mass and cheerfulness and satisfaction would envelop her every little gesture and erase the echo of her bitter words. Allowances were made to her because she had proved to be a true believer, an idol-worshiper worth of respect. And, indeed, so she had been. For a long time Alicia was not aware of the idols she was supposed to devote herself to. Better said, she was in complete darkness as regards the idols’ vital importance in the life of each human being. For years she brought offerings automatically, to idols she had not chosen but inherited, without knowing that every event that occurred in her life, no matter how insignificant, was conditioned by her dedication to the supreme beings that were in control of her fate and that by consciously persevering in her devotion to the unseen rulers of the world, her life would improve tremendously. When, later in her still young existence, she came across the astonishing revelation about the idols commanding over the

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mortals’ lives, her entire being was pervaded by a sensation of illumination and gratitude, like a dry sponge placed in the middle of a pot filled with water, whose fibers absorb the liquid until its mass extends and its form attains new outlines and meanings. Very soon she reached a state of grace that only old initiates can achieve at the end of long prayers and disciplined fasting. She felt she was a newly born person, with a completely new beginning that related to no past, a pilgrim about to start a new journey, both adventurous and dangerous, whose end, were she able to reach, would bring her the comfort and peace she was looking for. It was not only a promise. It was a certain fact and the idols watching over each of the steps she took were the very guarantee for it. Her future life was revealing itself before her like a magic carpet ready to take her to places full of joy and happiness and she had the irrefutable sensation that everything in the universe had a deep meaning she could now perceive. She could see clearly how the tiny pieces of various shapes making up her life were matching perfectly in their places, like a complex puzzle game that ultimately offered the unforgettable image of a breathtaking sunset. She thanked the idols for having guarded her up to then and consciously prayed for their protection and guidance from that moment on, asking them not to leave her and promising in turn her eternal devotion and gratefulness. The idols accepted the pact and Alicia felt blessed. Starting from that point, she worshiped them actively and her offerings were generous and unconditional. The state of grace, even if diluted, continued to surround her like a protecting veil, helping her to get, with strength and courage, over all the obstacles that from time to time hindered her from continuing on her journey. She did not look upon the obstacles as a problem, on the contrary, she was grateful for them because, as she had learnt from others, they were a necessary price to be paid in advance for the pleasures, some smaller, some bigger, coming along the way and which, summed up, formed the great and undeniable reward the idols guaranteed. What really mattered was that the pieces of the complex puzzle game found their perfect place all the time and the outstanding sunset was always in the background. It was obvious that Alicia was happy and so were others, whose faith in the idols and commitment to please them were unmovable. Life was a true corner of paradise, which she had not noticed until then and there were moments when she wondered how she had been able to indulge herself in ignorance for that long, moments inevitably followed by a cold shiver crossing her spine at the thought that she could have never surpassed that inferior stage and could have spent all her life crawling in a perpetual limbo of static and toxic contentment. Now she was above all that, her relationship with the idols was active and cognizant, even vibrating. She acknowledged their presence and power and duly fulfilled her duties towards them, always paying willingly the price they asked for, while they delivered her the reward, gradually, sometimes with a certain delay, which Alicia knew was carefully calculated to only increase her surprise and delight. Because, Alicia guessed, idols took pleasure in her joy, too. Which was why Alicia’s conviction that there would be nothing but good things coming her way grew stronger and stronger until it became an integral part of her faith in idols.

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What went wrong or the exact moment when this happened no one, not even Alicia, could tell. It was not as if she had woken up one morning with the disconcerting thought that she was in the wrong place or as if she had looked in the mirror one day and had no longer recognized herself. The only unquestionable fact is that one Monday, after a relaxing weekend, Alicia felt drained of energy. When the alarm clock rang that morning she stopped it then turned on the other side, with the intention of lying in bed for five more minutes. She simply felt incapable of dragging herself out of bed that moment and decided that five minutes would be enough for her to find the necessary vivacity to start that day. She proved to be totally mistaken. She managed to leave the bed only fifty minutes later, which caused her to skip both jogging and breakfast in order to arrive at work in time. This enforced alteration to her accurate and disciplined daily schedule upset her and the frustrating feeling of failure gnawed her during the entire day. No matter what she did and how many excuses she found herself, she could not get rid of the unnerving and overwhelming sensation that everything she had planned for that day, from the meetings she had at work to the banal fact of buying bread on her way home was fully compromised as a consequence of those fifty minutes of delay. The coffee she had in the office had a bitter taste that almost caused her nausea. The project to which she had dedicated two months of intensive and overtime work was passed up because of a sudden and unforeseen change in the company’s budgetary priorities. The lunch she had in the restaurant close to her office, which was one of her favorites, proved insipid and flavorless, despite her colleagues’ assurances that food had never tasted so good. Her assistant and closest collaborator, a younger girl whom she had trained for almost one year and on whom she relied at a great extent, gave her leave notice that afternoon. Next, her boyfriend announced her that, due to a last-minute job-related opportunity, he no longer could accompany her on the dreamy holiday they had planned since the year before. And, on top of it, just before finishing a report she had to submit the next morning, her computer failed and all the information was lost. When she arrived home that night, breathless and ready to burst into tears, she found her building in complete darkness. She groped her way along the stairs climbing to her floor, her hand clenching the rail like a shipwrecked holding herself on to a floating board. She carefully felt for her door lock and blindly inserted the key into it then opened the door. Once she was inside, she crushed in her bed, crying. When she calmed down, she wiped her tears and promised herself that the next day she would wake up earlier and would run longer than her daily norm and thus things would set back in place and life would continue as smoothly as before. Her last thoughts that night turned to the idols, asking for their protection and help and promising instead rich offerings. More tranquil, she then fell asleep. Unfortunately the idols did not answer her prayers. The next morning she did not even hear the alarm ringing and, with very small variations, the scenario of the previous day repeated. The coffee she had with a colleague in a small break caused burns to her stomach. As if this had not been enough, lunch lied heavily on her stomach, which went on a spontaneous strike, refusing to digest the mix of low fat food she had carefully chosen, and instead swallowing like a

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ball, not only making her feel as heavy as a whale stranded on a deserted beach but also covering her in embarrassment at the view of her belly, normally flat, now unusually prominent. But she could have dealt in a reasonable way with both the miserable coffee and the unlucky lunch had it been only for these two misfortunes. The worst part consisted in the unjustified delay of one of her projects, which not earlier than one week before had been considered “brilliant” and had been given green light for immediate start. The story repeated the day after and the day after the day after and so on until it stretched over almost three months, during which Alicia’s existence gradually turned into a burden that grew harder and harder to carry. Despite the prayers and offerings she brought to the idols, the mornings turned into living nightmares while the evenings were the only part of the day that offered her consolation and comfort. She was passing through the day with her mind continuously set on the moment when she would finally lay her head on the pillow. The taste of the coffee grew more stomach-churning every day but, exhausted as she was, she had to increase the number of cups she had per day. As for lunch, most often she had to skip it in order to keep pace with work, whose volume seemed to escalate from one day to another while her time was inevitably shrinking. Her jogging in the morning was slowly but surely eliminated from her daily routine until it became history. The evenings and the weekends she spent with friends became fewer and fewer but, thanks to the convenient excuse offered by work, which was unanimously accepted, this was not regarded as a dramatic change in the way she related to the others. Surprisingly, her boyfriend, too, credited as true the version of her supposedly crowded schedule at work and did not insist that they see each other with the frequency they had done before. But what was really scaring her was the silence on the idols’ part. In spite of her ardent prayers, for all her promises and offerings, they remained silent. For the first time in her life, Alicia felt lonely. And, like an innocent cub that has got lost from its mother and is facing the terrible perspective of dying by the merciless teeth of a predator, she panicked. Very soon, though, she remembered she was a fighter so she could not give up that easily. She went to the doctor. She underwent countless tests and examinations but the tests came out just fine and the examinations did not reveal any anomaly. - You are as healthy as a young bull, the doctor concluded, delighted with the results. A little too skinny, perhaps, he added, measuring her with a critical eye, but otherwise there’s nothing to worry about. - But something is not right, Alicia insisted. I can’t wake up in the morning then I can hardly move during the day. There should be something there, she pointed an enquiring finger to the pile of tests results, to show this. Something is definitely wrong, believe me. - Young lady, the doctor’s voice became professional and distant, there is nothing wrong with you. The tests results are fine. As a matter of fact, it’s been quite a long time since I last saw some excellent results as yours and the specialists who have examined you have confirmed you are in perfect state of health. He paused and when he spoke again his voice was even colder. What more do you want? You are healthy and that’s it.

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- But there must be... The doctor raised his hand and his gesture had a note of menace in it, which made Alicia fall silent at once. - I am telling you again: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! Now let’s finish with this story once and for good. I have other patients – people with real problems, ill people – I have to attend. - But I feel so tired, Alicia squeaked like a scared mouse caught in a corner by an angry cat. - Take vitamins, the doctor answered, irritated, without looking at her. Alicia did not move until the doctor held out to her, with a disgusted gesture, a piece of paper on which he had scratched a few illegible words. - Thank you, she murmured before she disappeared, humble, from the doctor’s office. She duly took the vitamins but waited in vain for an improvement in her condition. Contrary to her expectations, she sank even deeper into the helplessness to take control over her life. The burden of the passing days grew heavier while she was growing smaller under it and one day she had the uncontestable sensation that very soon she would vanish completely. In vain did she invoke the idols. In vain did she double her offerings. The idols had turned a deaf ear and a blind eye to her. She felt even lonelier. Then she was covered by guilt and started thinking of the possible mistakes she might have made to upset the idols to such an extent. To no avail, though. She could not remember of anything wrong she had done or said to cause the cool shady grass-covered path she had been walking on until that ill-fated Monday morning turn into this illusory trail through an unforgiving desert. One Sunday afternoon, when she was having coffee with her best friend, whom she had not seen for quite a while, encouraged by her friend’s understanding and sympathetic look, she confessed about her shameful suffering and spoke about the pain caused by the idols’ indifference to it. - You must not blame the idols, her friend admonished her. It’s not their fault that you cannot wake up in the morning or are behind with your work. If they haven’t answered you it’s surely because there is nothing they can do about it. The problem is yours, not theirs. It’s you who must deal with it and once you solve it, your life will get back on its tracks. - But how? Alicia lamented. I’ve tried everything, believe me. I even took energizers but to no effect. I’m more fatigued from one day to another. Sometimes I fear I’ll collapse in the middle of the street. You have no idea of how dreadful this feeling is. She was undoubtedly on the range of an imminent breakdown so her friend felt pity for her. With a grave look on her face she measured Alicia from top to toe for a few seconds before she spoke: - Maybe you should go to a shrink, she said in a professional, intently neutral voice. - Shrink?? It was obvious Alicia disliked the idea from the start. What would her friends say? What would her boyfriend say? That he was seeing a crazy woman? What

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if her colleagues found out? No, that was out of question. - Why should I go to a shrink? I don’t need to go to a shrink! How could a shrink help me? - My dear, her friend explained, everybody goes to a shrink. Or has gone, at least once in a lifetime. It doesn’t mean that you are crazy, no, not at all. You’re just a bit depressed. And, believe me, it’s not an unusual thing. It happens to everyone. All the time. Actually, I’m quite surprised it took you so long. Alicia was in shock. She kept staring at her friend as if facing an extraterrestrial form of life with whom she was at a loss at what to do or say. - Look, her friend did not lose her assertiveness, I told you it’s not like you are crazy or something like that. No, no way. It’s only that you need to explore some parts of your personality, of which you might not have been aware till now. Because these parts, these features of your character or whatever you want to call them may be struggling to manifest themselves and you are unconsciously opposing them and that’s why your life has become what it has become. Your life, my dear, has become a battlefield. You are fighting against yourself. And this... - But, Alicia interrupted her, lost and confused, but this cannot... - And this cannot, her friend interrupted her as well, in no way have anything to do with the idols. It’s entirely your problem. Your problem – you solve it, she concluded with a triumphant smile that left no place for any other arguments that Alicia could have brought to her defense. Alicia had no choice but to follow her best friend’s advice, not before having her friend swear she would keep it an absolute secret. Half-hearted and not fully convinced, she started seeing the therapist her friend recommended, accepted to share with that stranger her deepest secrets and dig up her long-forgotten dreams and aspirations but regardless of the confessions she made and the liberating sobs she gave in to from time to time, her state did not improve. On the contrary, she started sleeping miserably, her sleep being haunted by strange surreal dreams that made her wake up in the middle of the night. When she complained about it, the therapist prescribed her pills, which Alicia, who was already at the limit of her physical resistance, accepted to take. She went on like this for some more weeks, like a sleep walker who was dreaming her own life, feeling more tired and miserable, incapable to escape the nightmare whose prisoner she was. And along the hazy labyrinth that her everyday existence had become she first lost her boyfriend, who signed up a contract with a large foreign company and left to work and live abroad. Then, her friends, whose unanswered calls she had not returned, gave up calling her. Even her best friend, who had used to constantly check on her state, got bored of hearing her lifeless voice and listening to her complaints and stopped calling her. Now she was all alone. In the true and full meaning of the word. Left without any other better perspective, she surrendered to loneliness, with which she did her best to reach good terms, training herself to regard it, if not as a friend, at least not as her enemy. Surprisingly, her tactic proved successful. Therapy sessions ceased being an irksome task and, one morning, after having forgotten to take the sleeping pills three evenings in a row, she realized her sleep had been linear and

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uninterrupted. More than that, the overwhelming sensation of weariness had miraculously diminished. She decided to dedicate herself completely to therapy, at the same time invoking the idols, whom she asked, full of hope, to help her go through this endeavor. Six months later, officially declared as cured, she stepped out of the therapist’s office more optimistic then ever and impatiently threw herself into the colorful and promising torrent that now life looked to her. The first thing she did was to call her best friend, to whom she partly owed her recovery and comeback to life. Although initially reserved, her friend agreed to meet with her and after long and repeated hours of conversation they felt connected again through the invisible but resistant thread of the true friendship. Then Alicia contacted all her friends, one by one, offering them excuses and at the same time explanations for the lack of any sign on her part for so long and she was more than happy to detect no hint of reproach or hard feelings in their words and gestures. She resumed seeing all her friends on a regular basis as now she no longer had problems waking up in the morning or dealing with her work in time nor did the days seem to her an unbearably long succession of energy-draining scenes cut from an elaborate bad dream scenario. Carried away by the alleviating wave of recovered happiness, she even wrote to her exboyfriend abroad, with whom she soon started corresponding daily. Needless to add that Alicia was again satisfied with her life and with the world surrounding her, exuberance emanating from all her pores. But the illusion faded faster than a rainbow melts in the crude light of the sun. Without warning, she became aware that she, indeed, felt lighter without the emotional residues she had unloaded in the therapist’s office, but in reality her life had not changed. Nor had the world surrounding her. To worsen things, she also understood that her life could not get back on its old tracks anymore. Or, better said, she was unable to go on with her life the way it had been before because the truth was she was not happy. And nothing could change that. In fact, the only change she had managed to achieve was inside her and she was not sure she could take full credit for that one, either. Having the certainty that something was wrong with her and, knowing from her past experience it was solely her problem, instead of invoking the idols and bringing them offerings, Alicia started examining those around her, whose lives were brilliant and successful. She wanted to find out the secret lying behind their shining facades, what kept them going, what she was missing. With her senses enhanced by the awareness awakened during the therapy sessions she was scrutinizing the others, beginning with her best friend and her other friends, who were all devoted to the idols and whose everyday existence was still, to all appearances, a corner of paradise. And it was not long until she discovered that most of the people were carrying false smiles on their faces while their devotion to the idols was insincere, regardless of the generous offerings they displayed and boasted with. Alicia found this discovery revolting. - Why do you accept it? she asked the idols. They are lying, they don’t really care about you, she told them. They are hypocrites. The idols did not answer. The pompous and artificial offerings continued flowing and the pretended believers went on unpunished while their lives kept

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flourishing. Alicia was shocked and outraged at the same time. Nevertheless, she decided to give it another try. - Listen to me, she addressed the idols more vehemently this time, it’s a fake, all of it. A show put up for you. But you must see beyond it, don’t you? You do see the truth, don’t you? Her questions remained unanswered. - DON’T YOU??? In vain. No answer. Resigned, Alicia gave up. This was beyond her understanding. How could they take it? How could they? she kept asking herself. And the answer came by itself: they probably liked it. If they could put up with it, it was definitely because they liked it. Yes, that was it. If the idols accepted a hypocrite display of faith and dedication, it was only because they themselves were a bunch of hypocrites. Alicia was relieved she had reached a logical conclusion, even though she was not happy with it. And from that day on, she no longer believed in idols nor did she trust their just and objective rule over her destiny. The idols were not aware of her revolt right away. In truth, they could not conceive that she was capable of abandoning her faith and breaking the promises she once had made with all her heart. It was only a temporary whim of hers, a low state of mind, they must have thought. But, as the days passed and no prayers rose from Alicia’s lips, nor were her offerings brought to their shrine, they started loosing their patience. They sent her messages, at first in a subtle way: innocent hints dropped apparently accidentally in the casual chats she was having with friends or colleagues; fragments of conversation between perfect strangers she was passing by in the street and which an invisible breath of wind brought unmistakably to her ears. When they saw none of these moved her, they decided to intensify their efforts. They invaded her dreams. Her sleep became an amalgam of unusual episodes and bizarre happenings centered on the idols and the faith in them and which had such a strong sense of reality that she often woke up in the middle of the night asking herself whether it was real or she was just dreaming. But, amazingly, Alicia resisted them, too. She had been through bad sleeping and nightmares long enough for her self-preservation sense to build defensive strategies. Thus, the moment she woke up in the morning, regardless of how tiring her passage through the night had been, her mind automatically erased the annoying remembrance of the events she had been subject to during her sleep. Taken by surprise by her resistance, it took the idols some time to decide what should be the next step. In the meantime, Alicia went on with her life, looking at the world with the same critical eye that allowed her to find the tiniest fissures in the people’s faith in the idols, her findings, sad and disappointing, giving her a sensation of estrangement from everything she had so strongly believed in until not that long before. On the face of it, her life had not changed at all. She kept on working hard, seeing her friends and going to the same places as always, only that this time she was a mere spectator of someone else’s life, someone she knew vaguely but whose name she could not remember. A life from which she was at a light-year distance. So when the idols approached her

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directly, which in the past would have been unconceivable both to them and to Alicia, she listened to them not in awe but with a detached calmness, clearly denying their superiority and showing ungrateful of the unprecedented honor they were doing her. But the culmination of her defying attitude was the fact that she answered them. She reminded them of her questions to which they still had not answered. She spoke of the fake faith going unpunished, about the false believers whose lives were still going on in a happy undisturbed way and how the lack of a logical explanation from the idols’ part had undermined the blind confidence she had had in them. She also told them that, should they give her one coherent reason, just one, for which things were that way, she could reconsider trusting them again. The idols were disgusted with her impudence. She was in no position to question their justness, least to set terms. Despite of all the blessings they had laid upon her, of all the benefits they had brought into her life, she was proving incredibly ungrateful. For which reason the idols resolved it was pointless to waste their time with her anymore. They gave her an ultimatum in the form of threats that would make one’s blood freeze easily: - You’ll be all alone, they predicted. - I already am, she replied. - Bad luck will come across you, they went on, more ferociously. - I can deal with it, she shrugged. And the threats continued but Alicia had an answer to each one of them. In the end the idols left her alone, fed up with her shameless display of disloyalty and disrespect. They were sure that, in front of the adversity of the punishment they would serve her, she would reconsider her decision. They could not be more wrong. The first materialization of the idols’ dark promises occurred on the very next morning when, on her way to work, Alicia felt the passers-by’s heavy looks cast on her with severity. It seemed that, all of a sudden, the whole world had found out that she had betrayed her idols. Alicia initially told herself that it was merely her impression and that she had no reason to pay too much attention to the fact but her hypothesis faded like a soap balloon the moment she met the reproachful and disapproving expressions stuck to the faces of her colleagues. The idols must have informed them all, Alicia concluded and the thought made her release a mute laughter. She took her seat at her desk and dealt with her tasks zealously for the rest of the day, determined to show the idols they could not defeat her. But the idols were not going to renounce the fight that easily. They were ready to apply extreme solutions. Next, Alicia received a call from her best friend, who coldly informed her that she was disappointed to learn that Alicia was a two-faced untrustworthy person and that, as a natural consequence, their friendship had to come to an end. Had it not been for that they could no longer be friends anyway, her best friend added, as Alicia’s irritable moods and her constant state of discontentment were too hard to bear. They were simply poisonous. Alicia was astounded by the unexpected piece of news but managed to cope with this difficult moment in a dignified manner. She expressed her sincere regret for her friend’s decision and apologized for any possible gestures of hers that might have hurt her friend and, regardless of the fact that she herself

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doubted it, told her friend that she still hoped she would change her mind. Her already ex-best friend rejected the possibility in an unequivocal way and Alicia could do nothing else but accept the situation. And the situation worsened. Everybody she knew, from her friends to mere acquaintances, gradually broke off relations with her, without leaving open the smallest door for friendship to slip through, until she found herself completely alone. An orphan of fate. Alicia sighed and gave the idols, who were grinning at her with satisfaction, a careless shrug, which only irritated them more. They prepared for the big blow. One week after the last of her friends refused to see her and clearly stated that her presence was no longer desired in their circle of friends, Alicia had to face an even tougher challenge. While crossing the street, after having left her car in a parking lot not far from the building where her office was located, a speeding car appeared out of nowhere, running like a streak of lightning straight into her direction. She managed to avoid it in the last minute, throwing herself aside on the hard asphalt, hurting one knee, and from down there she contemplated the mad car driving off, her mind evaluating the terrible consequences that the fatal collision could have had on her. Helped by the people that had gathered around her she stood up and, after assuring everybody that she was fine, she walked with shaking legs to the entrance of the building. When she arrived at work some minutes later, she found her desk occupied by a colleague, a boy with a shorter length of service and less experience than she had, who announced her in a glacial voice that her position in the company had been reassessed to a lower level and advised her to address the Human Resources department for further clarifications. Infuriated, Alicia rushed, limping, to the office of the Human Resources manager asking for explanations but the manager expedited her to one of his subordinates, who told her in a condescending manner that the change was due to her low performance during the last two years. Alicia, who was almost at the limit of suffocation, replied that she had worked really hard during that period and no one had reproached her anything until then. The girl from the Human Resources shrugged in “it’s not my business” way and, after a short praise to the inventiveness and initiative the boy who had replaced Alicia had proven during the last months, she turned her attention to the computer in front of her and started playing on the keyboard as if there were nobody else in the office. Alicia refused her tacit invitation to leave her office and insisted on receiving further clarifications but all she got was a laconic information that her wages had suffered a corresponding adjustment and that in a couple of days she would be duly notified of her new salary. Alicia was too angry to argue so she decided to give up the fight for the moment. Just before she walked out she heard the girl commenting to herself that, given the market situation, those were not good times to look for a new job. And while she was closing the door of the Human Resources department behind her, Alicia heard clearly the idols’ wicked laughter somewhere above her. The nasty laughter went on for days. Alicia did her best to ignore it, treating it as if it were a sound escaped from a far background that did not relate to her in any way and, eventually, it got lost in the multitude of sounds forming her environment. On the other hand neither had she the time to pay attention to

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everything that was around her, busy as she was, to adjust to the critical changes in her life. Finding a cheaper place to live had become her prime concern and, once she found a convenient apartment, significantly smaller than the one she was living in and located at the distance of a considerable number of subway stations and bus stops from her workplace, she engaged herself, body and mind, in the moving operations. The issue of the apartment once solved, it was the turn of her car to be sold and the related credit to be paid up. This way she set herself free from debts and expenses that had become unsuitable for her new reality, which she approached with an open-mindedness she herself would not have imagined she was capable of. The two-hour trip she took every morning and every evening to and from work became more than bearable when she started carrying a book with her. Having lunch alone, notwithstanding the isolation she was subjected to, had the advantage of not having to participate into sterile or complaisance conversations nor to listen to interminable gossips about one or another of her colleagues and their lives. She had no doubts that the main subject on everyone’s gossip agenda was she herself but since no one spoke with her she did not know what they were saying about her and the least did she care. As for the time she had left of her lunch break after she ate, she spent it reading in the small park outside the office building she worked in. It was there that she saw him for the first time. He always sat on the same bench, on the left side of the narrow alley, his small backpack stretched out beside him. Always carrying a mocking grin on his face, he was measuring everyone, from the casual passers-by to the persons resting on the other benches along the alley, Alicia included. In fact, his stare must have been quite insistent since her look was inevitably attracted to it, making it leave the pages of the book she was absorbed by without conscious reason. When their eyes met it seemed to Alicia that the grin grew larger and the expression of mockery on his face deepened but she did not react in any way. She solely stared back at him for a few seconds, with a neutral mien, after which she resumed her reading. What drew her attention a few minutes later was the orange cat that was approaching the boy’s bench with swinging steps, releasing a delicate meowing now and then. When it reached the bench, the cat started rubbing its back against the boy’s feet, its meowing intensifying in volume and becoming one continuous lamentation. Apparently indifferent, the boy let it continue with its show for a while then, with one brisk movement, grabbed the cat and put it on his lap. His gesture surprised but also scared Alicia, her imagination setting on creating calamitous scenarios regarding the fate of the poor cat. But the orange cat was by no means concerned. She cuddled on the boy’s knees and its head started moving upward and downward, with obvious pleasure, under the tireless stroking of his hand. The boy’s attention was fully focused on the cat, the mocking grin being gradually replaced by a more reserved smile that gave his countenance an aura Alicia would not have guessed. She could have watched the strange pair for hours, fascinated by their wordless relationship, but when she accidentally looked at her wristwatch she realized she was late. She left her seat in haste and walked out of the park with running steps, casting a short glance into the boy’s direction just before stepping into the street: the boy and the

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orange cat were eating from a sandwich the boy must have taken out from his backpack. From that day she tried to reach her bench around the same time so she could witness the informal ceremony of the odd couple having lunch. At first she limited herself to peeping at them discreetly at certain intervals of time, so that they did not feel spied but, since none of them appeared to care about her presence, her glances grew bolder until they became long gazes, which she put an end to only when it was time for her to go back to work. And when that time came she would leave her bench with a peculiar sense of regret fueled by the unexplainable fear that the next day she might not see them again. In an ambiguous way that was beyond any logic she felt related to the grinning boy and his orange cat. A few times she even reflected on the alternative of approaching him, of talking to him, but was unable to put her thought into practice, discouraged, perhaps, by the boy’s indifference to everything and everybody around him, except for his cat. It would not be too long, however, until this thought of hers, this stirring desire would come true. One morning, not very long after she had moved into her new neighborhood but long enough for her to feel as if she had lived there for a good while, Alicia finished the book she was carrying with her before the train got to the station where she were to get off so she had nothing else to do but look at the people around her. She discreetly studied their faces and the way they were dressed, trying to assign each of them a profession and a personal life. It went fast with most of them, their clothes and gestures as well as their facial expressions indicating a distinct category and Alicia was amazed of how easily people’s lives could be standardized. Then her look came across a girl sitting on the opposite bench and whom she had not seen in the beginning because of the passengers standing between the two of them. The girl was wearing a pair of glasses with extremely large lens, which looked immense on her small face that reminded Alicia of that of a small mouse. Her eyes, two restless coal dots, were moving fast along the rows in the pages of the book she was holding in her left hand. Alicia read the title of the book and the author’s name but neither of them sounded familiar to her. Together with the girl’s appearance and clothes, which did not subject themselves to any fashion tendency or dress code, they made it impossible to Alicia to include her in any of the categories she had defined so clearly. In an incomprehensible way, Alicia took to the girl at once. She decided to talk to her. She could simply start a conversation on the book the girl was reading, she thought, but before she could finalize her plan the girl closed her book, stood up and walked to the door. Alicia felt a lump in her throat and blamed herself for not being able to put her resolutions into practice. Her look followed the girl on her way out and it seemed to her that, just before getting off, the girl had turned to her and smiled. This out-of-the-ordinary occurrence helped her keep her spirits up for the rest of the day and, along with the daily spectacle offered by the boy with the mocking grin and his orange cat in the park, made her feel overwhelmed by a secret joy. The following morning she looked for the girl with large glasses but there was no sign of her. Nor did she see her the day after and those two days looked somber to Alicia, like a funeral shroud left by mistake on a sunflower-printed sofa.

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On the third morning, however, the girl was on the train, sitting quietly on the bench, her eyes chasing the words in the book lying under her little nose. It was not the same book, Alicia noticed at once, but she did not know this one, either. By a lucky game of fate the old woman sitting next to the girl stood up after two stations, getting ready to get off and Alicia crept like an eel through the other passengers and took her seat. Without looking at the girl, she drew out her book from her bag and started reading. At a certain point, while she was turning the page, she unintentionally raised her eyes and met the girl’s friendly look. Alicia gave in to her first impulse and smiled at her. The girl smiled back and for two seconds they stared at each other, smiling. Even though she and the girl with large glasses did not exchange one word, that day Alicia was overwhelmed by the same sensation that she had experienced in the fourth grade, when she had been praised for best qualifications in front of her class. Little by little, she and the girl with large glasses, whose name was Anna, became friends. After one month of chatting about books and music on the train bench, Anna invited Alicia to go out with her and some friends of hers and Alicia accepted without hesitation. She met Anna and a tall, skinny boy – Anna’s boyfriend, at the exit of one subway station not far from downtown, after which they walked to a club located in the basement of a tumbledown building that from the outside seemed to be ready to fall down in any moment. The atmosphere inside, however, was completely different. The moment she passed through the heavy metallic door, Alicia found herself in a joyful and friendly environment, vibrating of music and laughter. Anna took her by the hand and led her to a small group standing by the bar. She and her boyfriend saluted everyone effusively then she introduced Alicia and the group adopted her straightaway. That night Alicia had the time of her life. She enjoyed herself like she had not done for years. She spoke with strangers, laughed at their jokes and danced until her untrained legs started shaking from the effort. In the early hours of the following morning, lying on a sofa hidden in one corner of the room, her face shining with sweat, she thought, amused, of the idols and ironically thanked them in her mind for that great night. After all, had it not been for their intervention, for the punishment they had applied her for her disloyalty, she would surely not have been there that moment. A smile blossomed on her lips and she did not censor it. She felt light and happy. - Aren’t you afraid? a voice coming from her left interrupted her contemplation. She sat up to look at the dark-haired boy who had spoken. He was standing by her couch, with a bottle of beer, almost empty, in his right hand. He was staring at her so there was no doubt it was her he was addressing. - I don’t understand, Alicia answered indolently, lying back down on the couch. - Aren’t you afraid? he repeated the question. Of the idols, I mean. - Should I be? she pulled his leg. - You’re new here, he said in a stern voice, like a judge pronouncing a serious sentence. Only those who no longer believe in idols come here. Don’t you believe anymore? Why?

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- Leave her alone, Anna came to her assistance. Maybe she’s never believed in idols, just like me. A considerable crowd had gathered around them, attracted by the dispute. Seeing so many pairs of eyes fixed on her, Alicia sat up in the middle of the sofa. She felt as if she were subject to an inquisitorial. - I’m not talking to you, the dark-haired boy argued. I’m talking to her, he pointed his finger to Alicia. I want to know why she’s not afraid. The idols always punish the unfaithful. - Is that so? Then why aren’t YOU afraid? The phlegmatic and metallic voice made all the heads turn into its direction. Five yards away from her, beyond the crowd, there stood the boy from the park. Alicia had a sense of relief. She knew she was safe. When that stupid conversation would be over she would ask the boy about his orange cat. - I’m not talking to you, either, Lynx, the dark-haired boy raised his voice. - But I am talking to you, Lynx replied in a calm voice. You are afraid, aren’t you? He paused and gave the dark-haired boy his usual mocking grin. Then what the hell are you doing here? Why do you keep coming here? Why aren’t you now sitting on your knees in front of a shrine, praying like a true believer should? - Because I have to warn you, the dark-haired boy lost his temper. Because the idols do not forgive anyone and in the end you will see that... - Fine, you’ve warned us, Lynx cut him off, now get lost. - You’ll see, you’ll see, the dark-haired boy was now pointing his accusing finger to Lynx. But Lynx was no longer paying attention to him. Discouraged, the darkhaired boy made his way out of the room and, after delivering a series of cataclysmic prophecies to an indifference audience, disappeared through the heavy door. Anna and her boyfriend rushed to Alicia. - Is everything fine with you? - Yes, thank you, Alicia answered, looking fixedly at Lynx, who was standing by the bar, engaged in an ebullient conversation with the bar tender. - Don’t mind him, Anna insisted, he often does this but nobody cares. That’s just the way he is. - I don’t mind, Alicia assured her. I’m not upset or anything, just a bit tired, she added, her eyes following Lynx, who was walking lazily towards the exit. I haven’t had a night like this for a long time. - We’ll leave in a minute. We’re tired, too. Besides, everybody’s leaving. Only then did Alicia realize that the club had emptied, as if the dark-haired boy’s predictions had thrown everyone into a panic. - It’s almost morning, Anna added, as if to soothe her. Well, we’ll say goodbye to some friends then go. - Good, I’m coming with you. The club was deserted when they left, the empty bottles and glasses spread everywhere being the only sign of the excited and euphoric night they had spent there. They climbed up the stairs back into the street but when they were out Alicia remembered she had left her jacket on the sofa. She went back, found her jacket and took the way back up the stairs. She almost reached the exit into the

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street, which was standing just two stairs away from her, when the horrible noise exploded underneath her and the staircase collapsed under her feet. She was left hanging in nothingness, her arms striking the air with the desperation of a person on the verge of drowning. She felt an overpowering force drawing her down and, in an attempt to resist it, her arms started moving faster. Her effort was rewarded as one of her hands grabbed something that supported her in the air and her descent into darkness was temporarily suspended. - Don’t let go of my hand, she heard Lynx’s voice above her and she discerned a note of concern in it. I’ll pull you out, he assured her. Just stay with me. - I’m trying, Alicia cried, without hiding her fear, but it’s so hard. - Just stay with me. Help will come soon. We’ll take you out. - I don’t know if I can. I’m so tired. - Stay with me, he insisted. Don’t let yourself fall down. - Yes, she wailed but her hand half-slipped off his grip. - Stay with me, he shouted but she was already falling down. You hear me? Stay with me! Stay with me! She landed on the hard and cold surface of what seemed to be a stone block and her body hurt from the impact with the massive and unfriendly material. She tried to discern something, anything, through the humid gloom but no light reached her. She started screaming for help, hoping that someone could hear her and, indeed, very soon she heard an approaching sound. As it came closer, she recognized the wicked laughter of the idols. Exhausted, she closed her eyes. She knew that in a short while she would also see their faces. - So, what’s up? one of them finally spoke in a falsely jovial tone of voice. How have you been doing? Alicia did not dignify him with an answer. - Crying for your new friends, aren’t you? another idol asked her. He released a sinister laugh. They are gone, you know. All of them. Nobody’s here except for us. - This is your last chance for redemption, an idol with an imposing voice intervened. You can repent yourself for your disobedience or... - You’ve already judged me once, Alicia interrupted him. You’ve already punished me. What else do you want? The idols were unprepared for such a reaction on her part. They fell silent for a moment. - Your choice, the idol with the imposing voice spoke at last. We’ll leave you here for the moment. You’ll have plenty of time to think it over. You might reconsider it. Alicia ignored him. She was numb and frozen. In an attempt to get warm she pulled her knees to her chest but it did not help her too much. She started shaking. The darkness grew colder. She closed her eyes. - You’ll die here, the voice of the idol with the sinister laughter woke her up. You’ve got no chance. Repent and you’ll live. - No! Alicia yelled with all the strength she was capable of. - It won’t hurt you to bring us offerings from time to time, the idol went on,

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unimpressed. Everybody does it, no matter whether they believe or not. - I won’t do it! I won’t! I won’t! Anger brought an incredibly strong flow of energy into her body and she was able to sit upright. She was breathing heavily from the consuming effort and had to wait for her heartbeat to calm down before she spoke again: -You are nothing but a bunch of hypocrites. Had she not been so exhausted she would have laughed into the idol’s face. - Why should I believe in you? - Because everyone does. - I’m not everyone. Considering that there was nothing else to be added on the subject, she turned her back upon the idol. She started massaging her bruised legs and arms in order to make blood run through her veins. Each movement she made cost her pain and effort but she refused to stop. - Listen, the idol hissed in a whisper, making her flinch. She had almost forgotten of his presence. - Listen, the idol hissed louder, we could make a deal. Alicia continued massaging her arms. - We could make a deal, the idol repeated, so that you don’t have to die. - What do you want? Alicia asked him, irritated. - Look, the idol went on, satisfied that she was paying attention to him, we give you back your life as it used to be and, instead, you declare your belief in us. You go back to bringing us prayers and offerings and we watch over you. - Yeah, right, you watch over me, Alicia derided him. - Well, at least we can hurt you, the idol argued. Very badly, as you can see. What do you say? - No way. No deal. Now leave me alone. I’m fed up with you. Alicia turned once again her back upon the idol and started crawling, despite the intensifying pain that was burning throughout her whole body. She was sure there had to be a more comfortable – if not warmer – spot she could rest on. With her elbows and knees bleeding, she kept on creeping along the harsh stone until her fingers felt the soft touch of a mattress or something similar, on which she stretched her body at full length, leaving herself pray to a deep sleep. The idols did not disturb her anymore. They even refrained themselves from appearing in her dreams, which were anyhow crowded with characters Alicia had not seen once in her life. A middle-aged woman with a maternal expression on her large face, dressed in white, appeared most frequently, an angel perhaps, who always asked her how she was and massaged her sore legs and arms then fed her. Alicia knew for sure that the idols had not sent her so the only alternative left was that the woman in white was an angel. Others appeared, too, there were some men and women, all unknown to her, coming and going in her dreams, but Alicia’s sleep was calm and invigorating only when the woman with the maternal expression made her appearance. After a while the others began to fade away and the woman in white was the one Alicia dreamt of most of the time. This angel

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of hers, who addressed her in a soft voice, made her feel so tranquil and serene that she got to wish her sleep never came to an end. Only that her wish was impossible. - Alicia, it’s time for you to wake up, she heard the soft voice close to her ears and felt the maternal caress on her hair. They’ll soon be here to pick you up. Alicia opened her eyes and looked around, intrigued, for a few seconds. Because she could not believe her eyes, she tried to sit up, to have a better look. The bedroom in her old apartment had not changed a bit since she had moved out. Perhaps it had not been rented after her departure. She turned to the woman in white and wanted to ask her what she was doing there but had to delay her question. The woman was holding her arms stretched out towards her and Alicia obediently grabbed her hands and slowly stood up, insecure, trying to control her trembling legs. With the woman’s help she walked to the metallic frame that was waiting for her by the door then went to the bathroom. Puzzled, Alicia noted that the bathroom, too, had suffered no changes and this was also the case of the living room, into which she stepped after more than half an hour. The question about what was happening to her was almost jumping off her lips but she kept delaying materializing it in words, concentrated as she was on washing herself then on putting her clothes on, activities that had never required her so much effort. Little after she had breakfast someone rang at the door and the woman in white answered it. Alicia recognized at once the girl from Human Resources who had dismissed her so brutally on the day when the idols had applied her their most repressive punishment. The girl had, no doubt, forgotten the incident, since she kissed Alicia on her cheek and gave her a big hug, repeating all the time how glad she was to see her. Then, with delicate gestures, the girl helped her move all the way to the car that was waiting for them in the street. Too astonished to speak, in spite of the thousands of questions swarming in her head, Alicia just watched the streets unfolding in front of the car as if she saw them for the first time and, from time to time, nodded, thus confirming the girl that she was listening to what she was telling her. The girl’s words were reaching her ears but she grasped their meaning with a certain delay, however, by the time they reached the office she had managed not only to contemplate the full picture the girl was trying to present her but also to puzzle out the enigma her mind had been striving to solve since she had opened her eyes that morning. Guided by the caring girl from Human Resources and accompanied by other two colleagues that had rushed to welcome her the moment she had stepped off the elevator, Alicia made her way to her old desk, on which a vase full of flowers and a welcome note were displayed at sight. - We all signed it, one of her colleagues informed her promptly. The others will also come to salute you, but didn’t want to tire you on your first day back. - Thank you, Alicia murmured. - You don’t have to worry, the other colleague assured her, we’ll help you, at least until you get back on your feet. And you will soon, she gave her an encouraging smile. I’m sure of this. Alicia thanked them with a smile and sat down. The trip from her place to the office had already exhausted her. The distance from the elevator to her desk,

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which she had used to cover in a flash, now had looked to her extremely long and painful, like a way to penitence. The girl from Human Resources left but her colleagues stayed for a while, updating her on the latest events and explaining which were the most urgent and important issues she should start dealing with. After stressing again their availability to help her, they finally left and for the first time that day Alicia remained all by herself. She took some time to examine her office, unsuccessfully looking for signs betraying an intrusion into her working space, then scrutinized the blue sky the large window revealed. When she failed also in this search she reached for the file resting on top of the ordered pile lying on the left corner of her desk. She refused her colleagues’ invitation to join them at the cafeteria for lunch, bringing as an argument her need to get some air. One girl offered to accompany her, at least until she crossed the street, but Alicia refused politely. She had to get used to moving by herself and that was the perfect exercise. Instead, it was she who accompanied her colleagues to the cafeteria on her way to the park, to buy a sandwich and a bottle of water. With her bag firmly positioned on her right shoulder, she then launched herself into the conquest, with slow but determined steps that she took carefully behind the metal frame she kept pushing forward, of the not-so-long distance between the cafeteria and the bench by the narrow alley. When she arrived at her destination, after twenty eternity-long minutes, she found the bench occupied by a young couple. She sighed deeply and decided to put her legs to an ultimate effort. She walked to the bench on the opposite side and let herself fall on it as if she no longer had control over her own body. She sat still for a couple of minutes, breathing heavily, and after she recovered her breath she looked for a handkerchief and started wiping her brow. While she was reaching for the sandwich and the bottle of water inside her bag it crossed her mind that she had taken the seat of the boy with the mocking grin. This thought made her freeze, but only for a fraction of a second, Alicia chasing it away with a smile. He had existed solely in her dreams, just like his orange cat and the girl with large glasses. A wave of regret passed over her and she looked up at the clear sky spotted here and there with fluffy white patches. The sky was smiling at her and no menace was emanating from it. She breathed in deeply then reassumed her activities. She placed the bottle of water beside her and started eating her sandwich without haste, taking small bites and chewing carefully, as if carrying out an important ceremony. She had already eaten half of the sandwich when a familiar meowing came from her right. It was the orange cat. Alicia had no idea where it had emerged from but she recognized the unmistakable orange spot stretching from its shoulders down to its nose. The cat was making its way towards her bench with hesitating steps, halting every second step to release a new cry, like a recognition parole. Alicia put her sandwich aside and started calling it. The orange cat answered without delay. Its steps fastened their pace and in no time it was by Alicia’s feet, rubbing its back against them in a shyly and inviting way. Alicia bent downwards and started stroking its back. The cat started moving back and forth under her hand, carrying its tail up in the air like a flag, obviously pleased with the caresses it was receiving. Then, when Alicia least expected it,

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the cat jumped on her lap and cuddled carelessly, with the attitude of someone claiming a place that had always belonged to them. Amused, Alicia continued stroking its back and the cat, keeping its eyes closed, started purring. When Alicia picked up the sandwich in her free hand, the cat raised its nose and its whiskers started moving like two fine antennas receiving secret signals. Almost laughing, Alicia tore a bit of the sandwich and brought it to the cat’s nose. The cat opened large its eyes and started eating as delicately as a high-society lady honoring a supper with her presence. Alicia was eating, too, her eyes not leaving the cat for a moment, from time to time feeding it with bits from her lunch. - So you’ve got a new friend, she heard the phlegmatic voice right in front of her. She raised her eyes and met the ironic look of the boy with the mocking grin. She blinked a few times before she spoke: - I ..., she said but stopped. She was still unsure whether she was dreaming or not. The boy, on the other hand, was not moved by her confusion. Nor did he give any sign he remembered her. - I was talking to the cat, he explained. I used to feed it on this bench for a while. - You did? - Yes. But I got sick. Measles. He laughed. Can you imagine? At this age? Alicia did not know what to say. - Anyway, he continued, unaffected by her lack of reaction, I had to stay inside for two weeks. So I guess you fed it, didn’t you? - No, no, Alicia shook her head. You see, she gestured to the metallic frame, I was ill, too. This is the first day I got out of the house. - This sucks. The boy sat down beside her without being invited. - What happened? - A car hit me. They said I was lucky. - Did the bastard get caught? - I think so. Anyway, that doesn’t matter. I’m still here, am I not? - You are optimistic, that’s good. Alicia smiled. The boy’s vicinity somehow made her nervous but not to the verge of feeling intimidated. The sensation of familiarity given by his gestures, even by his mocking expression, was too strong for her to feel lost. The boy, too, pulled out a sandwich from his backpack and started eating. The orange cat immediately turned its attention to him. It stood up from Alicia’s lap and took two steps towards the boy. The boy tore a bit from his sandwich and stretched it out to the cat. The cat found this an invitation enough to climb into the boy’s lap. It cuddled comfortably, the same way it had done in Alicia’s lap and started purring. - Now you’ve got your cat back, Alicia commented without any trace of envy or sadness in her voice. - It’s not my cat, the boy replied. I only share my lunch with it. You know how cats are: they chose you, not vice-versa. And they are not loyal, like dogs.

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He took another bite of his sandwich then fed the cat again. Alicia looked at her watch and started gathering her things. - No, they are not, she said like a conclusion, when she was all packed. They are quite independent. - Yeah, he replied. But that’s what I like about them. Alicia seized the frame with her hands and pushed herself up. - I’ve got to go, she told the boy. - You need help? - No, she shook her head. I’ve got to do it by myself. I’ll recover faster this way. - Are you sure? - Yes. Thank you anyway. Good bye. - Bye. Alicia set on her long and strenuous march back to her desk. She was already two benches away when he called her: - By the way, what’s your name? - Alicia. She had stopped and turned back to look at him. Yours? - My friends call me Lynx. You know, the wild cat. - Yes, I know, Alicia smiled. Good to meet you, Lynx, she waived. - You too. Will I see you again? - Tomorrow, maybe. On my lunch break. - Say around noon? Twelve thirty? - Something like that. - It’s a deal. He raised his right hand in a gesture meant to seal his words. See you here. - See you. Alicia resumed her slow walking towards the park exit. After a few steps she stopped and turned to him again: - What’s its name? she cried. - The cat’s name? It doesn’t have one. I call it the Orange Cat. - OK, she gave them an ultimate wave before continuing her laborious movement to her office. Back at her desk she wiped her brow again and sat still for a few minutes until her breath became regular. She unlocked her computer but before she started working she glanced at the fragment of the sky framed by the window. - I’m not making any deal with you, she addressed the innocent azure. She received no answer. Untroubled, she turned back to her work. She had no doubts the idols had heard her but knew that, sometimes, silence also made a good answer. - The End -

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