The Angel Two

THE ANGEL TWO by Harry J. Chong

Harry J. Chong 60 Carey Crescent Markham, Ontario L3R 3E5 CANADA (905) 475-5427 [email protected]

FADE IN: INT. EMPTY BEDROOM - DAY JOHNNY is speaking to someone, it’s not known who. JOHNNY You don’t know how badly I’ve wanted to tell you. The truth about my life has been buried inside me for so long -- I didn’t even know if it existed anymore -- but that’s why I have to tell you. (glances left, right) Cornelius, Danica. I’m not who you think I am. (deep breath) I’m an angel. I’m part of this secret religious organization called the Vatican Brigade. Johnny shows his Vatican Brigade lapel pin, the “cross wedged between a V.” JOHNNY (CONT'D) Remember this? Well it’s our special seal. We’re basically a big group of crime fighters. We use our special talents and abilities to fight evil. (lowers head) I know. It’s crazy, huh? The sound of a DOOR opening is heard. DANICA enters the empty room, sees Johnny looking into a full length mirror. Johnny?

DANICA

JOHNNY (turns) Oh! Danica. You scared me. DANICA Really? Is there something about me to be afraid of? JOHNNY No, I just -DANICA Could you bring that mirror down? We need to sell it.

2.

JOHNNY (glances back) Uh, sure. No problem. Thanks.

DANICA

Danica leaves. Johnny grabs the mirror. EXT. CORNELIUS’ HOUSE - DAY There is a swath of people on the DRIVEWAY. They are browsing, buying, and haggling at Cornelius’ GARAGE SALE. Danica is at the cash table, talking to a large muscular bald man wearing a dark denim vest. BERNARD. He is holding up an old looking book with strange symbols on the front. THE BOOK OF THE DEAD. BERNARD How much is this dusty old book? DANICA I’m sorry that book’s not for sale. BERNARD It has to be. Why is out here then? DANICA I don’t know. It musta been a mistake. It should’ve been packed up with the other boxes. BERNARD Come on, sell it to me. DANICA I’m sorry. It’s not my book. It belongs to my dad. He’s a real avid collector of books. Boy, if I gave it away... I don’t know what he’d do to me. BERNARD You’re not giving it away. You’re selling it.

3.

DANICA Sorry. I can’t. Is there anything else you -BERNARD I’ll give you a hundred bucks. Danica shakes her head, no. BERNARD (CONT'D) Two hundred. Uh...

DANICA

BERNARD Three hundred. Um...

DANICA

BERNARD Five hundred dollars! DANICA No! It’s not mine. I can’t sell it. BERNARD Okay. I know you’re playing hardball. (takes out thick wad of cash) Ten thousand dollars. DANICA You really want that book don’t you? Bernard nods with a salacious look on his face. DANICA (CONT'D) The more reason not to sell it. Danica grabs the book back. BERNARD (angry) I need that book. DANICA Mister, if you want a photocopy, I can photocopy it for you. (MORE)

4. DANICA (CONT'D) But I can’t sell it unless I get my dad’s permission... And he is NOT here.

Bernard puts his money away, he pushes over the cash table. CRASH. Everyone looks. DANICA (CONT'D) Hey, what the heck is wrong with you?! BERNARD Give me the book. CORNELIUS appears. CORNELIUS Hey! You better back off, buddy. BERNARD (cracks knuckles) Why don’t you make me? Okay.

CORNELIUS

Cornelius looks behind and grabs a baseball bat from the ground. CORNELIUS (CONT'D) How’s this? DANICA (low voice) Cornelius put the bat away! CORNELIUS I’ve got this under control, Danica. (to Bald Man) Look here, baldy. If you don’t get off my property, I’m gonna hafta start swinging. And when I swing, I don’t stop. Try me.

BERNARD

CORNELIUS Really? I was just bluffing. I’m not a violent -HIT ME!

BERNARD

5.

Cornelius shrugs, he swings his bat. It breaks off on the Bernard’s thick head. CORNELIUS (surprised) You are a freak! As Bernard pulls back his fist, Johnny appears with the full length mirror. JOHNNY Hey, Cornelius where do you want me to -A loud WHACK is heard. Cornelius crashes into the mirror, shattering it into a dozen pieces. He slumps to the ground. The NEIGHBOR standing beside Johnny looks down. NEIGHBOR Oh no -- that’s seven years bad luck! Johnny puts the broken mirror aside. JOHNNY Cornelius, are you okay? CORNELIUS (groans) Sure, why not! JOHNNY Don’t move. I’ll be back. Cornelius’ gives a thumbs up. He flops his head over and passes out. As Johnny marches over to Bernard, Danica discreetly dials 911 on her cell-phone. BERNARD (folds arms, smirks) Whatcha gonna do, boy? Johnny puts up his dukes like an old school Irish boxer. Come on...

JOHNNY

Bernard pulls back his fist. WHACK! Johnny lands beside Cornelius.

6.

CORNELIUS (wakes, looks at Johnny) Welcome to the club. As Danica closes her cellphone, the sound of police SIRENS are heard. A squad car stops in front of the house. COP #1 and COP #2 step onto the driveway with their guns out. COP #1 Put your hands where we can see ‘em! BERNARD I think there’s a misunderstanding here, I was just -COP #2 Shut up and put your hands in the air! Bernard puts up his hands. He looks at Danica holding the Necronomicon in her arms. COP #1 Now turn around! Bernard turns the other way. Then suddenly he grabs the table and chucks it the COP #1 and COP #2. They duck to the ground. It crashes into the windshield of their squad car. Bernard grabs the Necronomicon from Danica. DANICA Hey that’s -He jumps onto the house roof with a single bound. DANICA (CONT'D) (surprised) Whoa. Bernard glances back. Cop #1 and Cop #2, in their rage, blindly fire their pistols. Johnny and Cornelius stand to look, they watch as Bernard leaps up and disappears into the CLOUDS. MATCH CUT TO:

7.

EXT. CORNELIUS’ HOUSE - NIGHT Dropping down from the clouds, eyes are brought back to Cornelius’ house, in front of a wide illuminated window covered in fancy white curtains. SUPER IMPOSE TITLE: “THE ANGEL TWO” INT. EMPTY LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Johnny, Cornelius, and Danica are all seated on the hardwood floor in an empty living room. There is a half-eaten box of pizza and several open cans of soda. CORNELIUS I know, I know. But I still can’t believe what I saw... Tom Cruise went completely bonkers! He IS the definition of manic. DANICA Oh he’s just got a lot of energy, that’s all. CORNELIUS Tom Cruise climbs mountains and flies airplanes. I don’t think you can attribute that behavior to just ‘a lot of energy.’ JOHNNY Did anyone not notice that guy jumping onto the roof and disappearing into the sky? CORNELIUS Johnny... There’s a lot of crazy things that go on in New York. You can’t always believe everything you see. JOHNNY I think you’ve been reading too much ‘Skeptic’ magazine. CORNELIUS It’s a really good publication. Is not.

JOHNNY

8.

Is too. Is not! Is too!

CORNELIUS JOHNNY CORNELIUS

DANICA FELLAS! Can we not argue? I mean, we’re not gonna be able to spend much time with each other anymore. Let’s enjoy the moments. Okay? I’m sorry.

JOHNNY

CORNELIUS I’m sorry too. Let’s hug. What?

JOHNNY

CORNELIUS It’s a very emotional moment. I think we should hug. JOHNNY Aw, come on. I’ll see you every now and then, right? Every week? CORNELIUS Not likely. JOHNNY Whaddaya mean? I thought you had your own personal jet. CORNELIUS Not anymore. JOHNNY What happened? CORNELIUS (sighs) Recession. JOHNNY It’s not that bad is it?

9.

CORNELIUS The company’s in the proverbial red. JOHNNY So I won’t get to see you once you move to California? Danica folds her arms, “What about me?” JOHNNY (CONT'D) And Danica? CORNELIUS What can I say? People don’t like to buy gold plated car accessories anymore. JOHNNY Do I at least get to see you before you get on the airplane? CORNELIUS Of course... Homeland Security isn’t that evil. DANICA (sighs, looks around) I sure will miss this place. I don’t even really wanna move. CORNELIUS It’s for the better. Dad’s getting back with mom. We’re gonna be one big happy family. DANICA For you maybe. CORNELIUS What’s that supposed to mean? DANICA She’s YOUR mom, not mine. CORNELIUS Hey... Chin up, Danica. Maybe dad’ll become a polygamist. Then we can all be together. DANICA Actually, I think that’s why he go into trouble in the first place.

10.

CORNELIUS Nooo, it’s because he’s a work-a-holic... Or is that alcoholic. Eh! Potato, potawto! EXT. AIRPORT - DAY The airport is busy. Planes fly in and out. INT. TERMINAL GATE - DAY Johnny in standing in front of Danica and Cornelius. He looks at them all doe-eyed, then spreads out his arms and gives them a hug. JOHNNY Don’t forget about me guys. I won’t forget about you. We won’t.

DANICA

Johnny lets go. JOHNNY Oh. I almost forgot. He reaches into his jacket and takes out two small giftwrapped packages. He hands one each to Danica and Cornelius. JOHNNY (CONT'D) Going away presents. CORNELIUS (glances) Thanks. Cornelius pats Johnny on the shoulder. Then he and Danica walk into the jet bridge. Johnny waves goodbye. EXT. SKY - DAY An AIRPLANE flies smoothly in the sky. INT. PLANE - DAY Danica and Cornelius have their gifts out from Johnny.

11.

DANICA What do you think it is? CORNELIUS I dunno. Let’s find out. Cornelius and Danica tear off the giftwrapping from their presents. The gifts are mini bibles attached to key chains. INT. AIRPORT BAR - DAY Johnny takes a seat on a stool. The BARTENDER has his back turned toward him, drying some glasses with a towel. Johnny loudly CLEARS HIS THROAT. The Bartender puts down his towel and faces Johnny. BARTENDER How may I whet your whistle? JOHNNY (recognizes) Hey, you’re... BARTENDER What can I get yah? Uh, beer?

JOHNNY

BARTENDER But you don’t drink. JOHNNY How do you know? BARTENDER You think I don’t recognize you, the only person in the Saucy Tart who didn’t drink alcohol? JOHNNY (to self) That’s true. (to Bartender) By the way, what happened to that bar of yours? Rats.

BARTENDER

12.

JOHNNY It shut down because of rats? BARTENDER Not real rats mind you. JOHNNY What’re we talking about then? BARTENDER (leans in) Skinheads. JOHNNY You mean -BARTENDER Nazis! Neo-nazis. JOHNNY I guess they were bad customers, huh? BARTENDER No, they were great customers. Tipped very well. But I didn’t wanna serve them. JOHNNY So that’s why you’re here? BARTENDER Yup. And you? JOHNNY (sighs) I had to see some friends off. BARTENDER They will return though? JOHNNY No. It’s not a vacation. BARTENDER That’s tough. Tell yah what. Drink’s on me. The Bartender spins around and stirs a glass of strawberry milk. He turns back to Johnny and gives him the glass. JOHNNY Thanks. I really appreciate it.

13.

Johnny takes a sip. The Bartender looks at him with pity. BARTENDER ...You’ll make new friends. JOHNNY I dunno. I just finished college last year. And I’m not much of an ‘animal’ for parties -- I mean, where would I meet anyone? BARTENDER You finished college last year? JOHNNY Did the whole thing in one year. I know. I’m a nerd. BARTENDER No. It’s very impressive. I didn’t even go to college. I got my degree on the streets, if yah know what I mean. Sociology?

JOHNNY

BARTENDER You could say that. Johnny and the Bartender smile. EXT. CHURCH - DAY Johnny goes into the church. INT. CHURCH - DAY He walks around the pews and knocks on a door on the east side. Come in!

FULLERTON (OS)

Johnny lets himself inside the room. INT. CHURCH ROOM - DAY Father FULLERTON is on a chair reading a book. Johnny goes over and stands in front of him.

14.

FULLERTON (puts down book) Hello, Johnny. Have a seat. Johnny sits down on a chair. FULLERTON (CONT'D) What can I do for you? JOHNNY I can’t do this anymore. FULLERTON Oh no! You’re not switching religions are you?! Because we really -JOHNNY No, no, no, no. It’s nothing like that. I’m talking you know... Oh!

FULLERTON

JOHNNY I gotta quit. FULLERTON Why? Is it not enough money? JOHNNY Father, I would do this for free -but I can’t. I literally can’t. I can’t get up anymore. FULLERTON That’s what she said! Johnny rolls his eyes. FULLERTON (CONT'D) Just kidding... So what exactly do you mean by that? JOHNNY My wings won’t come out. FULLERTON Performance anxiety? JOHNNY Nah, I don’t think that’s it.

15.

FULLERTON (snaps fingers) I know! Your wings only come out when you or someone else is in danger. Therefore in order for you to get your powers back, you have to put yourself in danger. JOHNNY Uh, what kind of danger? Fullerton gets a wide grin on his face. EXT. ROOFTOP - DAY Johnny stands on the edge of the roof. He looks below and takes in a deep breath. JOHNNY Okay. It’s do or die. Johnny leaps off. EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY A mom and her DAUGHTER are going down the sidewalk when Johnny falls from the rooftop and lands in front of them. KATOOSH! The mom shrieks. Johnny groans with his face sunk into the sidewalk. He pulls his head up and looks at the mom with her daughter. JOHNNY Believe it or not, this isn’t the first time this’s happened. A SHRILL SCREAM is heard. Johnny turns his head toward the noise. He sees a woman with a purse being held at gunpoint by a ROBBER. ROBBER Empty your goddamn purse! Johnny gets up and goes over to help. DAUGHTER Be careful!

16.

The Robber pulls back the hammer on his six shooter. He presses it into the woman’s forehead as she trembles. Hurry up!

ROBBER

The woman slowly starts unzipping her Louis Vuitton. JOHNNY (OS) Sucker punch! The Robber turns his head. What?

ROBBER

Johnny punches him in the chin with a swift jab. He stumbles back with his gun, eyes half-close. JOHNNY (to woman) The audacity of these criminals. Robbing a person in broad day light! As Johnny turns his head and looks at the Robber, his gun jolts with a misfire. A bullet lodges into Johnny’s forehead. He falls onto his back with arms out... THUD! The woman screams with panic and runs away. Closely looking at Johnny’s forehead -- the bullet is pushing out of his skull. It surfaces past the layers of skin and falls out to the ground. Plink! The wound heals over with flesh instantaneously. Johnny’s eyes flash open as his white feathered wings pop out from behind his back. EXT. OVER LOS ANGELES - DAY CALIFORNIA with a soaring bird's-eye view over the city of Los Angeles. MUSIC UP: “DANI CALIFORNIA”

17.

EXT. HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD - WEST - DAY Johnny struts down the sidewalk, taking in the sights and sounds, as the “Chili Peppers” play in his head. When the song elevates he starts to lip-synch and sway his body to the rhythm. Then, with the music, he suddenly stops. EXT. GRAUMAN'S CHINESE THEATRE - DAY Johnny tilts his head and looks up with wide-eyes. In front of him is a large sign which reads, “PREMIERE: ALIEN VS KING KONG” INT. GRAUMAN’S CHINESE THEATRE - DAY Johnny is sitting in the middle of a near empty theatre. He smiles and eats popcorn as bangs and flashes go across his eyes. INT. CALI HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY A late afternoon... Cornelius is at a corner table, engorged, reading a book. Danica is sitting lethargically on the couch watching television. CORNELIUS According to this book, it says Hitler didn’t die in 1945. No?

DANICA

CORNELIUS Apparently he faked his death. He killed a body double with a cyanide pill, then shot him in the head to make it look like a suicide. DANICA (yawns) That’s very interesting.

18.

CORNELIUS And get this -- Hitler stowed away on a boat and escaped to America -where he made a living as a professor of German history! DANICA Is that so? CORNELIUS And he died in 1969 at the age of eighty in a retirement home! The same year Denton Cooley implanted the first artificial heart! DANICA Can I see that book for a second? Sure!

CORNELIUS

Cornelius stands up and hands Danica the book, “Conspiracies of World War 2” Thanks.

DANICA

Danica takes the book, and with the flick of her wrist, throws it across the room into a wastebasket in the corner. Hey!

CORNELIUS

Cornelius runs to get his book. The PHONE on the stand beside Danica rings. She leans to the side and picks it up. DANICA (on phone) Hello? JOHNNY (VO) (filtered) Danica is that you? Cornelius picks up his book from the wastebasket. There’s some kind of nasty goop on it. Ew...

CORNELIUS

He throws it back in.

19.

DANICA Who is this? Cornelius takes a seat beside Danica and leans on the arm-rest, bored. It’s me! Me who? Johnny!

JOHNNY (VO) DANICA JOHNNY (VO)

DANICA Oh my God! How are you? JOHNNY (VO) I’m good, I’m good. What about you? How’s Cornelius? DANICA Eh, we’re doing alright. Kind of boring though. Not like New York. JOHNNY (VO) Trust me. It’s boring here too. CORNELIUS (to Danica) Who is that? DANICA (to Cornelius) It’s Johnny. (back to phone) Yeah, so -Cornelius grabs the phone from Danica. CORNELIUS (on phone) Eh! Johnny boy! Cornelius? What’s up?

JOHNNY (VO) CORNELIUS

20.

JOHNNY (VO) Not much, not much. Just being a tourist. Danica leans over and listens in on the conversation. CORNELIUS So are you gonna come and visit us or what? You know the address, right? JOHNNY (VO) Yeah. I got your e-mail. CORNELIUS Cool. Come over whenever you want then. JOHNNY (VO) I’ll be over in a New York minute. Johnny hangs up. Click. Hello?

CORNELIUS

DING DONG! DING DONG! Cornelius and Danica get up. INT. CALI HOUSE - MAIN FOYER - DAY Cornelius and Danica get into the main foyer as the DOOR BELL rings excitedly. They open the door. Johnny smiles and waves in front of them. Johnny!

DANICA

EXT. CALI HOUSE - DAY Danica rushes toward Johnny and wraps her arms around him. She hugs him tightly. DANICA I missed you so much. JOHNNY It hasn’t even been a week yet.

21.

I know...

DANICA

Cornelius leans against the frame of the door with a broad grin, looking. CORNELIUS Welcome back prodigal son! He steps forward and gives Johnny a man-hug. EXT. JAPANESE RESTAURANT - NIGHT Johnny, Danica, and Cornelius are sitting around a large round table, enjoying sushi and green tea. CORNELIUS So then I says to Bob, ‘WELL THERE’S YOUR PROBLEM!’ Everyone laughs. CORNELIUS (CONT'D) (wipes a tear) Oh, I’m good... They calm down. DANICA So Johnny! How’s that job of yours going? JOHNNY Mm, not bad I guess. The hours are terrible, but I get paid more than enough. DANICA What exactly do you do? JOHNNY (eyes dart, nervous) Uh... CORNELIUS Yeah! I’ve always wondered that. What is this job you have? They call you at all hours of the night -- and the day! It’s definitely a far cry from the regular ol’ nine to five.

22.

JOHNNY I, I do alotta miscellaneous things. Odd jobs. Mostly odd jobs. DANICA That’s what you said last time. JOHNNY Well it’s true. CORNELIUS Is it something bad? Are you working for the mafia? JOHNNY Okay, I’ve given you guys the run around long enough. I’ll tell you the truth... The restaurant seems to go quiet as Johnny slowly leans forward. JOHNNY (CONT'D) I’m a superhero. I can fly. I have super strength. And -CORNELIUS You’re allergic to kryptonite! Huh?

JOHNNY

CORNELIUS Ah, Johnny. You don’t have to patronize us. If you really don’t wanna tell us, we understand. It’s probably an embarrassing job, right? Like cleaning up dog crap or something. JOHNNY Yes. That’s exactly it. DANICA You don’t clean up dog crap -- do you? JOHNNY I clean up something. CORNELIUS Nuff said...

23.

Johnny’s CELL-PHONE start vibrating in his pocket. He reaches in and pulls it out. JOHNNY (to Cornelius, Danica) Sorry. I gotta take this. He hunches over and answers it, whispering. JOHNNY (CONT'D) (on phone) Hello? Cornelius and Danica continue eating. JOHNNY (CONT'D) (on phone) Right now? Are you serious? I’m in the middle of something? Okay. I’ll be there. Bye! Johnny puts his cell-phone away. CORNELIUS Who was that? JOHNNY Nobody. Nobody important... Hey, I gotta go to the bank for a second. I left my wallet at your place. DANICA You didn’t leave it on my bed did you? CORNELIUS You were on my sister’s bed? JOHNNY I just sat down for a second or two. Nothing naughty. Oh really?

CORNELIUS

DANICA Hey, even if we were doing something naughty -- it’s not really your business, Cornelius. Isn’t it?

CORNELIUS

24.

Johnny pushes back his chair and stands. JOHNNY I really hafta go. I need to draw out some money from the ATM. DANICA There’s an ATM in the lobby. JOHNNY Yes, but it’s not the one I need. CORNELIUS Johnny, you don’t have to pay for your food. This is our treat. You’re our guest. JOHNNY Regardless, I still need a bit of spending cash. You know there’s some many cool tchotchkes that I want. CORNELIUS Okay. Fine. But be back as quick as possible, okay? JOHNNY (thumbs up) Just call me Speedy Gonzales. Johnny leaves. EXT. BANK - NIGHT There is a dark nondescript van by the curb-side. INT. BANK - NIGHT Moving through the bank floor. There are several dead security guards lying on the ground. Over by the far end are two thieves trying to bust into the big steel vault. THIEF #1 is using a heavy duty blowtorch on the door. There is a duffel bag by his feet. He slowly circles around with the flame while THIEF #2 stands guard with a shotgun. THIEF #1 This is gonna be sweet.

25.

THIEF #2 Hurry up... THIEF #1 Shaddup, I’m going as fast as I can. Thief #1 completes a small circle on the vault door. It glows a flaming orange. He takes a crowbar and pulls it out. The piece falls to the floor and spins around like a coin. Thief #1 takes out a canister from his duffel bag. He shakes it up, making that distinctive RATTLING sound. THIEF #1 (CONT'D) Explosives please. Thief #2 hands Thief #1 a square of C-4 with triple LED lights on the front; it is connected to electronics. Thief #1 takes it and uses his canister to foam it in place within the circle. THIEF #1 (CONT'D) We better distance ourselves. Thief #1 and Thief #2 take their equipment and sneak over to a desk. They flip it over and hide behind. Ready? Ready.

THIEF #1 (CONT'D) THIEF #2

Thief #1 takes out a remote detonator. He pulls up an antenna and pushes a button. The LED lights on the C-4 light up. One, two, three. Then... KABOOM! An explosion rocks the bank, throwing up pieces of debris. The thieves peak out from behind the table. The blast has created a beach ball sized hole on the vault, half a circle on the door and half on the wall. Thief #1 and Thief #2 scamper back to the vault. Together they pull open the door and go inside. THE VAULT is huge. Its walls are lined with hundreds of bank boxes, from floor to ceiling.

26.

THIEF #1 (searching) Which one is it in again? THIEF #2 Ninety fifty four. Thief #1 spots the box in the middle: 9054. He points with eagerness. THIEF #1 Ah, and there it is. THIEF #2 How do we get to it? Should we blast it open? THIEF #1 No, this needs a more delicate procedure. We have to pick the lock... Thief #1 grabs Thief #2’s shotgun. Hey!

THIEF #2

He pumps it and shoots at the box, popping it open. Thief #1 looks inside and takes out a Ziploc bag with a piece of mouldy bread in it. Thief #2 scratches his head. THIEF #2 (CONT'D) What is that? You said we’d be coming here to get an ancient relic. THIEF #1 This IS the ancient relic, stupid. It’s a piece of bread from the Last Supper. Thief #1 holds up the bag in front of Thief #2’s face and mockingly shakes it. EXT. BANK - NIGHT Thief #1 and Thief #2 come out of the bank. They rush into the van on the curb-side and quickly drive off.

27.

EXT. VINE STREET - NIGHT The van speeds down the street. INT. VINE STREET - VAN - NIGHT Thief #1 is behind the wheel driving, while Thief #2 is in the passenger seat beside. His arm hanging out over the wound down window. He look in the side-view mirror. The ANGEL is trailing behind. THIEF #2 Looks like we got company. Thief #1 glances in his side-view mirror. He sticks his head out the window and shouts back. THIEF #1 We know you’re there yah bastard! (to Thief #2) Load the cannon. EXT. VINE STREET - NIGHT The back doors of the van swing open. Thief #2 lights the fuse on a cannon facing outward. The Angel has a look of shock on his face as the cannon fires off. A big iron ball hurdles toward him. It nails him in the gut and sends crashing onto the pavement. The van turns a corner and disappears. The Angel wheezes. He pushes the cannonball off his tattered midsection; it rolls away and stops on a sewer grate. There is a NAZI symbol on front. A grinning skull -- a TOTENKOPF. INT. JAPANESE RESTAURANT - NIGHT Johnny walks into the restaurant, he goes back to his table with Cornelius and Danica. They look at his tattered shirt with the hole in the middle. CORNELIUS What happened to your shirt? JOHNNY Uh... Steam pipe explosion.

28.

CORNELIUS But there aren’t any steam pipes around here. JOHNNY (unsure what to say) ...That’s what she said! Woo! Huh?

CORNELIUS

Johnny sits down like everything is completely normal. Danica puts a piece of sushi into her mouth. INT. PSYCHIATRIST’S OFFICE - DAY A Newton’s cradle motions back and forth on a faux wooden desk. Over by the couch, Danica is lying down being examined by a PSYCHIATRIST. She is a leggy lady holding a note-pad and pen. Her body is slightly angled, legs firmly crossed. DANICA I dunno... I dunno, doc! I dunno what it is, but I just can’t stop thinking about him. (deep breath) It’s killing me inside. PSYCHIATRIST Well, he is your brother. DANICA I know! But does he have to be so damn annoying and inconsiderate?! PSYCHIATRIST Look, I think I know what your problem is -- you’re too stressed out, Danica. You gotta relax. Get used to the city. Go out and enjoy yourself. Get stimulated. Ask your boyfriend to take you somewhere. DANICA Um, I don’t have a boyfriend. PSYCHIATRIST There has to be someone you like. Danica bites her lower lip, thinking of someone.

29.

EXT. CALI HOUSE - BACKYARD - NIGHT Crickets chirp on the cool summer night, resting between the blades of grass. Voices are heard off screen, not too far away. Cornelius and his mother, MRS. MCQUEEN. MRS. MCQUEEN (OS) Check mate. CORNELIUS (OS) You cheated. Did not!

MRS. MCQUEEN (OS)

CORNELIUS (OS) Fine! Let’s start over again. As two hands on opposite ends start collecting back the pieces on a chess board, a third voice is heard. Cornelius’ dad, MR. MCQUEEN. Cornelius!

MR. MCQUEEN (OS)

Cornelius looks up from the deck. There is a figure in the shadow of an open window, the floor above. What?

CORNELIUS

MR. MCQUEEN Where is your sister? Mrs. McQueen scoots forward on her chair -- but we have yet to see her face. CORNELIUS Shouldn’t you know? MR. MCQUEEN Don’t you gimme lip! I ask you a question you answer me! You’re under my roof, I’m the boss! CORNELIUS Currently I am not under your roof!

30.

MR. MCQUEEN Just answer the question! CORNELIUS Is this your idea of being concerned about your children? MR. MCQUEEN Don’t make me come down there! CORNELIUS Put on your pants first! The silhouette of Mr. McQueen rolls up its sleeves. MR. MCQUEEN Why I oughta -CORNELIUS Relax, dad! She’s at a dance club or something! MR. MCQUEEN One of those dirty dancing clubs I bet you! CORNELIUS I don’t know! I’ve never been there before! MR. MCQUEEN Ah! You lazy kid! Keep an eye on your sister next time! CORNELIUS Okay! Can I go back to playing chess now?! Mr. McQueen slams his window close. Cornelius turns back to his mom, Mrs. McQueen. CORNELIUS (CONT'D) Now where were we? She rests her chin on her hand. EXT. CLUB ASTARD - NIGHT Johnny and Danica are in line, waiting to get into a hot new club. After the couple in front of them is waved inside, they are “greeted” by the BOUNCER holding the clipboard.

31.

He is wearing a shirt which says “Club Astard”. Names?

BOUNCER

DANICA Danica McQueen and Johnny Wallace. BOUNCER (looks on clipboard) Not on the list... NEXT! Wait! What?

JOHNNY BOUNCER

JOHNNY Why do we have to have our names on a list to get inside the club? BOUNCER I dunno. It’s cool. JOHNNY How is that cool? BOUNCER By being exclusionary and picky we make this look like the place to be. Supply and demand. It’s the basic law of economics... To be honest with you this club isn’t even that great. It smells like sweat and aftershave inside. DANICA ...Sooo can we get in or not? BOUNCER That all depends on you baby. Do you have what it takes to club it up like Paris Hilton? No.

DANICA

BOUNCER Well, who cares. I’m quitting tomorrow. The Bouncer swings the door wide open.

32.

BOUNCER (CONT'D) (waves) Everyone get the hell on in! The waiting people rush into the club. INT. CLUB DANCE FLOOR - NIGHT Disco balls, go-go dancers, and loud music. The club’s in swing, packed with hot sweaty people. Johnny and Danica take shelter from the frenzy in a dark corner. They stand facing each other, nervous about being alone together. Their bodies barely moving, they hold their drinks in front of them -- a sort of pseudo-shield. JOHNNY I just think that the education system needs to be fixed. There’s not enough focus on science, math and physical education. The standards have very much been lowered. As a nation we’re falling behind. DANICA ...Are we going to dance? JOHNNY Uh, sure. Why not. Johnny spreads out his legs and starts motioning his arms, doing some weird chopped up form of a Fred Astaire dance. Danica takes a gulp of her drink. INT. CLUB BASEMENT - NIGHT Danica walks down the metal staircase. Her steps echo with each foot set down. She gets to bottom. There are several ways to go. DANICA (looking) Now where did he say the bathroom was again? (thinking) Hug the wall to the right. Take two turns left, then another right. Go straight for a minute, take a left, take a right -- you can’t miss it.

33.

Danica looks reluctant. She steps forward and takes the path to the very right. INT. CLUB HALLWAY - NIGHT As Danica walks through the dingy hallway, she hears MUMBLING voices. She follows the sound and comes up to a door with a sign on front which reads, “Restricted Area.” Danica puts her ear against the door and listens. INT. RESTRICTED AREA - NIGHT Inside a dimly lit room are several skinheads standing around a cheap square table with a Ouija board on top. Amongst the group is Thief #1 and Thief #2. They watch intently as the punky skinhead named KRIEPENZTOP moves around a planchette. KRIEPENZTOP Is your spirit in the room with us right now? The planchette moves over on the Ouija board to YES. KRIEPENZTOP (CONT'D) Is it true you did not actually die on April 30th? Yes. KRIEPENZTOP (CONT'D) And you died on a later date -much later? Yes. KRIEPENZTOP (CONT'D) Have you been watching us? Yes. KRIEPENZTOP (CONT'D) Do you know what we are trying to do? Yes. THIEF #1 Ask about the location...

34.

KRIEPENZTOP Are we on the right track to finding you? No. KRIEPENZTOP (CONT'D) Then where are you located? The Ouija board starts to rumble. The lights flicker as the planchette zips across to several letters, spelling out: DEATH VALLEY KRIEPENZTOP (CONT'D) Death Valley? Is this correct? The Ouija flies off the table by an unseen force. INT. CLUB HALLWAY - NIGHT As Danica removes her ear from the door, skinhead Bernard suddenly appears from behind. He grabs her and wraps his thick hand around her mouth. INT. CLUB DANCE FLOOR - NIGHT Cornelius awaits for Danica’s return. He reaches into his pocket and takes out his cellphone. He looks at the time, 3:00 AM. EXT. HIGHLAND AVENUE- NIGHT A dusky looking 18 WHEELER honks its horn as it runs through a red light. INT. 18 WHEELER TRAILER - NIGHT Danica is tied to a chair. She is surrounded by the skinheads from earlier before, along with head honcho, Bernard. Seated at the end of the trailer, he is silent like a statue. DANICA I dunno who you creeps think you are, but I assure you, I am NOT going down without a fight! You even touch me -- I’ll bite it off!

35.

KRIEPENZTOP Relax. We’re not those type of people. THIEF #1 We’re a lot worse. DANICA What’re you talking about? THIEF #2 Who is history’s most hated person? DANICA George W. Bush? THIEF #2 George W. -- NO! Think worse. DANICA I can’t think of anybody worse except for... Danica’s face goes pale. DANICA (CONT'D) Wait-a-minute, you guys are -Kriepenztop lifts his sleeve and shows Danica his SWASTIKA. Nazis!

DANICA (CONT'D)

KRIEPENZTOP Neo-Nazis to be exact. DANICA Ooh you little... Danica swings her foot out and kicks Kriepenztop in the testicles. He clutches his stomach and wheezes in pain. KRIEPENZTOP You bi-bi-bitch! Kriepenztop grabs Danica by the shirt and pulls back his arm to slap her. BERNARD Kriepenztop! Kriepenztop pauses and looks at Bernard.

36.

Sit down.

BERNARD (CONT'D)

KRIEPENZTOP There’s nowhere to sit. BERNARD Fine a place. Kriepenztop pushes the other skinheads out of the way. He sits down on the floor, opposite to Danica. He mumbles to himself incomprehensibly. Bernard stands up and walks over to Danica. He takes out a blindfold. BERNARD (CONT'D) Time for the fun to begin. And wraps it around her eyes. DANICA What’re you going to do to me? As Bernard grins the lights suddenly go out. BERNARD What the hell? We hear the sound of the 18 wheeler screeching to a halt and a set of bodies falling to the floor, “Augh!” Then the creaking of doors opening as a dark blue light and shadowy figure with wings enters through the back. The doors shut behind. Blackness again, followed by violent noises inside: BAM! WHAM! SLAM! WHACK! POW! Then the place is dropped into silence. ...Hello?

DANICA (OS)

ANGEL (OS) Don’t move. The sound of ROPE SNAPPING is heard. The back doors of the trailer kick open. And in his arms, the Angel takes Danica out into the dim radiance of the night.

37.

EXT. CITY HALL - DAY The CHIEF of police, is behind a podium, speaking to a slew of reporters and the media. He tries to listen to them amongst the bickering. CHIEF Please! One question at a time. The crowd simmers down. JOURNALIST raises his hand in the air. CHIEF (CONT'D) (points) Yes. You. JOURNALIST Mr. Fandino! Is it not true you shook hands with the leader of the Hells Angels? CHIEF Would you please stick to the subject matter? JOURNALIST It’s a simple yes-or-no question. CHIEF (whisper to side) Would somebody please cut off his mic? JOURNALIST Sorry, Mr. Fandino! This isn’t the Bill O’Reilly show! Now answer my question! CHIEF No. You had your turn... NEXT! JOURNALIST Fine! I’ll stick to the ‘subject matter.’ What are you going to do about the soaring crime rate -beside eating donuts, hmm? CHIEF (glares) We are going to hire more police officers to monitor the city.

38.

JOURNALIST The LAPD is already bloated as it is! We don’t need more cops handing out traffic tickets for revenue! What we need is crime prevention! Getting to the root of the problem! CHIEF We are working on that. JOURNALIST And what about the hate crime, hmm? That’s gone up 50% since last year -- the exact time you opted to hire more police officers! Is that not highly coincidental?! CHIEF I don’t know what is up your ass, but you’re getting on my nerves! The Journalist holds up a B&W photo of a clean-cut looking teenage boy. JOURNALIST Mordechai Steinberg! My dear nephew -- beat to a bloody pulp last year by anti-Semites! And what has the police done since then? NOTHING! You haven’t even caught the little Hitlers! The crowd erupts, yelling and screaming. The Chief tries to speak. CHIEF Please, I -But is drowned out by the noise. He snaps to the side as a tomato is thrown in the ruckus. END OF ACT ONE INT. CALI HOUSE - CORNELIUS’ ROOM - DAY Cornelius is sitting at a desk, writing something on a computer. He tries to concentrate as his parents argue outside his door.

39.

MRS. MCQUEEN (OS) I work my fingers to the bone to keep this household together -- and you can’t even help me out once a week?! MR. MCQUEEN (OS) (emphatic) I am the breadwinner! I make all the money -- which YOOOU spend! So if I wanna relax on the weekend, that is my goddamn prerogative! MRS. MCQUEEN (OS) ...You’re selfish! You are a selfish, selfish man! All you can do is think about yourself! There are more things important than money! Yeah?! YEAH!

MR. MCQUEEN (OS) MRS. MCQUEEN (OS)

Cornelius sighs as he sinks down in frustration. He turns off his computer and starts moving toward the other side of the room. MR. MCQUEEN (OS) You know what your problem is, Mariam?! MRS. MCQUEEN (OS) No! What is my problem, GERALD?! MR. MCQUEEN (OS) You’re old! You’ve got the PMS! That’s why you’re always so cranky! Cornelius starts climbing out the window, he steps onto a the thick tree branch jutting toward his room. As he leaves a loud SLAP is heard. EXT. CALI HOUSE - BACKYARD - DAY Cornelius climbs down his tree. He exits the backyard through the wooden gate.

40.

EXT. NEARBY STREET - DAY Cornelius is walking down the street. He pauses and squints when he sees two young clean-cut men in white shirts and ties coming toward him... MORMONS. CORNELIUS (VO) (thinking) Mormons! Cornelius tries to avoid them by going to the right -- but they do too. So Cornelius goes left. They do too. He goes right. Same thing again. The zigzagging continues ‘till Cornelius tries to bolt forward -- but the fast-footed Mormons step in his way and stop him. Two twins named BARRY and LARRY smile at Cornelius. BARRY Greetings! I’m Elder Barry! Barry grabs Cornelius’ hand and shakes it. LARRY And I’m Elder Larry. Larry does the same. BARRY We’re from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! CORNELIUS Fellas, I really don’t -LARRY Do you know about Jesus? CORNELIUS Yes, but I -BARRY Jesus is our saviour! The only one who can save us from our sins! CORNELIUS Guys, if you would just -LARRY If we don’t listen to Jesus --

41.

CORNELIUS WILL YOU MORMONS SHUT UP! (deep breath) Let me speak for a moment. Barry and Larry look scared. Okay...

BARRY

Okay...

LARRY

CORNELIUS (CONT'D) First I wanna say, I respect your religion. BUT I am not interested. I don’t believe in that stuff. I don’t believe in God and I don’t believe in Jesus. So anything you try to tell me -- you’re just wasting your breath. LARRY But what about the world? CORNELIUS What about it? BARRY It’s so beautiful and so complex and wonderful. LARRY How could this just be one of those things? BARRY Somebody must’ve created it. LARRY Like an artist making a sculpture. BARRY No details were overlooked. CORNELIUS ...Fellas. The world is not beautiful. It is a hostile, ugly place. LARRY Well, I wouldn’t --

42.

CORNELIUS Have you ever been to the Sahara or the Antarctic Circle? All it is, is sand and snow -- everywhere! And you’re telling me that those two things are God’s ‘wonderful’ creations created just for man? Jesus H. Christ, man! If you stayed there for more than half an hour you’d be dead! Now is that part of the plan or what? Um...

BARRY

Um...

LARRY

Barry and Larry turn their heads to the sound of a car. Danica appears behind in a convertible. She brakes beside. Cornelius!

DANICA

CORNELIUS (to Barry, Larry) Sorry, gotta go. Cornelius hops into the convertible. He and Danica take off. Cornelius smiles as he waves goodbye to the Mormons. EXT. 2ND STREET - DAY Cornelius talks to Danica as she drives the convertible. DANICA Why are you staring at me? CORNELIUS I dunno, something about you looks different. DANICA I am different. CORNELIUS Whaddaya mean by that? DANICA I’m not the same person I was yesterday -- or the day before, or the day before that. Everyday I wake up I’m a different human being. But you just haven’t noticed, Cornelius.

43.

CORNELIUS (confused) ...How long are we gonna be at the police station again? ‘Cause, uh, I have a job interview this afternoon. DANICA Oh stop worrying. It’ll only be a couple minutes. CORNELIUS And would you mind stopping on the way for ice cream? Danica rolls her eyes, “Ugh!” INT. LINEUP ROOM - DAY Cornelius eats an ice-cream cone as Danica is spoken to by the police officer, WILKINS. She looks through a one-way mirror, at the lineup of suspects. WILKINS Can you identify the main perpetrator? DANICA Are you sure they can’t see me? WILKINS Absolutely. It’s 100% safe. Danica scrutinizes the suspects. They’re all bald, wearing raggedy clothes. It’s hard to choose. Hmm...

DANICA

CORNELIUS Will you hurry up, Danica? WILKINS Keep it down, son. Let her take her time. CORNELIUS (imitating Wilkins) Keep it down, son!

44.

DANICA (looking) I can’t decide... Do I have to choose a suspect? WILKINS No ma’am. This is not a multiple choice question. Cornelius bites into his ice cream cone. EXT. STREET TO THE PIZZERIA - DAY In the convertible, Danica is driving Cornelius to his job interview at the pizzeria. CORNELIUS I’m sorry, Danica... DANICA About what? CORNELIUS Not being able to help you. Not being able to do more. DANICA It’s not your fault. CORNELIUS I know, but I should be more supportive. You’re going through something right now and I don’t even understand it... But maybe I should. DANICA Hey -- let’s not get melodramatic, okay? Sure...

CORNELIUS

EXT. PIZZERIA - DAY Danica slows down the convertible and stops in front of the pizzeria. DANICA Here we are...

45.

Cornelius gets out of the car, he walks toward the pizzeria. DANICA (CONT'D) Good luck, Cornelius! I really hope you get that job! Cornelius looks back. Thanks.

CORNELIUS

He opens the front door. CORNELIUS (CONT'D) (to self) I should. EXT. LONELY ROAD - DAY As Danica drives her convertible down a lonely road, her car starts to sputter. It slows down and stops. Danica’s eyes gazes toward the dashboard. She’s empty on gas. Crap.

DANICA

Danica puts her car into neutral. She gets out and goes to the back of her car and starts pushing against the bumper. The convertible starts rolling. EXT. PARK - DAY Danica is tired. She’s sweaty and breathing heavy. She stops in front of a park and takes a break, sitting angled on the curb. She looks across the street, at the buildings. In the reflection of the glass there is a PRETTY LADY being stalked by a group of men. She looks Latino or of some other South American ethnic mix. Danica turns back and looks more closely. DANICA This looks a job for 911. She takes out her cell-phone. She tries to power it on, but the screen shows: NO BATTERY, PLEASE RECHARGE Damn it!

DANICA (CONT'D)

46.

Danica

goes into the park. She sneaks behind a tree. DANICA (CONT'D) I gotta do something... but what?

One of the men bumps the Pretty Lady on her shoulder. As she gets a nervous look on her face, two of them get in front of her and block her way. She tries to walks away but becomes encircled. THUG SLIM grabs the Pretty Lady by the chin and stares salaciously into her eyes. THUG SLIM Did anyone ever tell you how pretty your eyes are? PRETTY LADY Don’t even think about it buster. The Pretty Lady knees Thug Slim in testes. She turns to run. The men push her back into an irate Thug Slim who smacks her hard across the face, putting her to the ground. Danica comes out from behind the tree. Angry, she puffs out her chest as she walks toward the men. The Angel drops down from the sky. Danica stops and gets back behind the tree. The Angel grabs two of the men and throws them back. He gets into the circle and swings his arms out to the sides, knocking out the others. He marches toward the only one left, Thug Slim. THUG SLIM Who the hell are -The Angel kicks Thug Slim back “300” style. Thug Slim flies back and crashes out cold into a bench. The Angel helps the Pretty Lady off the ground. THE ANGEL Are you hurt? PRETTY LADY (Spanish) I’m fine. Thank you. Danica looks in awe, her jaw hangs low. DANICA No way, man...

47.

The Angel flies up and disappears. The Pretty Lady puts her hands over her chest. She is completely stunned. INT. CALI HOUSE - MAIN FOYER - DAY Danica is sitting on the front steps of the stairs when Johnny enters. JOHNNY Oh hey, Danica. What’re you doing on the stairs? Danica just gives him silence. JOHNNY (CONT'D) Are you okay? DANICA How long have we known each other for? JOHNNY A couple years? DANICA And you like me, right? Yeah.

JOHNNY

Danica stands. DANICA I’m not talking about as a friend. She gets closer to Johnny. JOHNNY Uh... Do I have to answer that? DANICA If you love somebody you tell them the truth. You don’t hide secrets -even if you don’t think they can’t handle it. Johnny tries changing the subject. JOHNNY (stammering) ...So! That Cornelius! What a gogetter! (MORE)

48. JOHNNY (CONT'D) You know he got that job as manager at the pizzeria. In fact that’s why he’s not here right now. Yep, he’s working late. Oh boy! What a hard worker! Don’t you think he’s a hard worker, Danica?

DANICA Don’t try and change the subject. I’m trying to talk to you. JOHNNY What is it you want from me? Danica gets really close to Johnny. DANICA You and me, Johnny. We have something -- but we can’t get to it because there’s a wall. A big brick wall between the two of us. And you put it up there... Why? JOHNNY You know a wall is for protection, right? DANICA Johnny! Tell me the truth! JOHNNY Alright! I’ll tell you the truth... I’m a homosapien. I like guys. There! Are you happy now? DANICA Johnneeeee! Be serious! JOHNNY Danica, please. You’re putting me in a tight spot. DANICA I know where those feathers come from. They’re not from your pillow. Johnny turns his back, he bites on his finger. INT. CALI HOUSE - DANICA’S ROOM - DAY Johnny and Danica are standing by the window. It’s wide open.

49.

JOHNNY If I show you, Danica... You can’t tell anybody about this. I promise.

DANICA

Johnny steps back. He runs forward and leaps out the window. Danica looks outside, leaning down. She can only see the BACKYARD DECK. Johnny?

DANICA (CONT'D)

Danica hears a WHOOSH. She looks up. Her eyes follow the ANGEL as he descends in front of her. ANGEL Whaddaya think? Danica touches the Angel, gently stroking his feathers. Oh my God.

DANICA

ANGEL I’m sorry I had to hide this from you for so long. It’s okay.

DANICA

ANGEL I just wanna be normal like everyone else. I don’t wanna be the nail that sticks out on the board. I don’t wanna be the freak with wings. DANICA Why would they call you a freak? You’re a hero. ANGEL I’m not a hero. A hero is a fireman. A hero is a scientist. A hero is a doctor. A hero is an ordinary person who fights extraordinary odds. Me? Uh-uh. I got these powers. And if I didn’t have ‘em, what would I be doing? The answer would not make me a hero.

50.

DANICA You’re too hard on yourself, Johnny... And why don’t you wear a mask? You know if you wore a mask we wouldn’t be in this awkward situation. ANGEL Superman doesn’t wear a mask. DANICA You can’t compare yourself to Superman, he’s a fictional character. ANGEL I tried the mask, Danica. It’s sweaty, it’s sticky and it blocks my vision. I am NOT wearing a mask. Danica looks at the Angel. She smiles and puts her leg out the window. ANGEL (CONT'D) Hey what’re you -EXT. CALI HOUSE - BACKYARD - NIGHT Danica goes outside and steps on the Angel’s feet. She wraps her arms around his waist. Oh, I see.

ANGEL

DANICA I know you don’t have a car right now, but why don’t you take me for a spin? The Angel rises up into the air. EXT. SKY - NIGHT Danica looks down as she hangs onto the Angel. She looks down and squeals, both excited and scared. DANICA Everything looks so small from up here.

51.

I know.

ANGEL

The Angel wraps his wings around Danica as she hugs him tightly. EXT. DEATH VALLEY - NIGHT A dark moving-truck leads a suspicious looking caravan over a large dune. They stop on a flat bed of sand where all of the skinheads come out with shovels: Bernard, Thief #1 and Thief #2, Kriepenztop, and the miscellaneous others. They look at each other for a moment, then start voraciously digging into the desert at a seemingly random point. As sand flies over the shoulders of the skinheads, these neo-Nazis, something begins to uncover. It looks like a handle of some sort. BERNARD Stand back. The skinheads stand back. Bernard grabs the handle. He pulls it out, revealing the item buried underneath the sand to be a long ornate metal coffin. It has two long poles attached to it like a palanquin. BERNARD (CONT'D) Get it into the truck. Eight men hoist the coffin onto their shoulders. Kriepenztop opens the back of the moving-truck. They put it inside and shut the door. EXT. SKINHEAD TAVERN - DAY Through a FIRST PERSON VIEW, a man walks up to a skinhead bar. He tilts his head toward the sign above which reads, “SSuds & Lager” INT. SKINHEAD TAVERN - DAY Still in FPV, the man enters the bar. The skinhead customers look at him with bewilderment. As he moves past the people playing pool and between the tables of drunks, every person he meets eyes with seems to stop and stare.

52.

The man gets to the bar area at the end. He takes a seat on one of the empty stools. The EVIL BARTENDER cleaning the glasses in front of him pauses to look. EVIL BARTENDER ...That is some costume, buddy. The man puts his arm forward onto the counter. The Evil Bartender’s eyes move along from his hand to his upper-arm where there is a NAZI SYMBOL on his clothing. From the Nazi Symbol his eyes continue to move over to the man’s face, revealing the man to be -- Adolf HITLER. EVIL BARTENDER (CONT'D) What can I get yah? NOTE: Hitler ONLY SPEAKS IN GERMAN, except where indicated. HITLER A pint of your finest German beer, please. EVIL BARTENDER I’m sorry. Could you say that again? I didn’t understand. HITLER (slowly) A. Pint. Of. Your. Finest. German. Beer. Uh?

EVIL BARTENDER

Hitler violently bangs his fists down on the counter. HITLER (English) BEER! BEER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT BEER IS?! EVIL BARTENDER I don’t know you think you are, you freak -- but if you pull that crap again, I’m gonna kick your ass outta this bar. HITLER That is no way to talk to your führer -- YOU MUST BE DISCIPLINED!

53.

Hitler punches the Evil Bartender in his face, knocking him flat to the ground. Then he jumps over the counter and starts kicking him in the ribs. A skinhead with a cue stick named BALDY, goes over to the bar and confronts Hitler. BALDY Hey what the Frick is going on here?! Hitler stops kicking the Evil Bartender. He hops back over to the other side, he walks toward Baldy with a grimace. Baldy steps back... Then suddenly he swings his cue stick! Hitler ducks and grabs the cue stick. He counters with a onetwo kick, causing Baldy to careen over in pain. At the same time another skinhead comes up to Hitler, but this one is a lot bigger and stronger; a real hulk of a man. CRUSHER, he is holding a bottle of beer in his hand. CRUSHER That was my brother! HITLER The rat should’ve minded his own business. Crusher throws his beer bottle at Hitler. Hitler catches it and takes a swig. He throws it back. As Crusher raises his fist in anger, Hitler intercepts him and smashes off the cue stick on his skull. Hitler gives Crusher a heavy roundhouse kick, lifts him over his head and throws him into a table... CRASH! Everyone takes notice. They stand up and surround him in a semi-circle. The MOOK in front points his finger. MOOK You can’t just come in here and screw around with our bar! HITLER Is that so? Hitler spits on the Mook’s shoes. The Mook charges with the other skinheads behind him. Hitler releases his fists of fury, he punches and kicks the oncomers, knocking them out like Chuck Norris.

54.

The skinheads from the back get up and swarm in. One of them lunges and gets around Hitler’s waist. Hitler clamps his hands together and pounds down his fists. At the same time, he dodges a haymaker; he grabs that skinhead and tosses him aside like nothing. After knocking off a couple more guys, Hitler marches forward against a line of irate skinheads. He throws wild punches, knocking each down as they try to attack. He gets to the end. The last skinhead in the tavern cowers and falls down. He leans back on his arms and shakes. Hitler dismisses the “threat” with a wave of his hand, he walks past and simply leaves. EXT. QUIET NEIGHBORHOOD STREET - DAY Johnny is whistling and walking down the sidewalk when he sees TIMMY the little neighborhood boy looking up under a tree. TIMMY (calling) Heeeeere kitty, kitty, kitty! Heeeeere kitty, kitty, kitty! Heeeeere -Timmy?

JOHNNY

TIMMY (turns) Oh! Hello, Mr. Johnny-sir! How’s your vacation going? The weather’s real swell in californee, huh? JOHNNY Yes, uh... Now what is going on here? TIMMY Oh, my kitty cat is up in the tree. Johnny looks up into the tree. The cat sitting on the branch meows. TIMMY (CONT'D) Can yah help me get ‘im down? JOHNNY I guess I’m not too busy... Sure, I’ll do it!

55.

Johnny rolls up his sleeves and gets into the tree. As he starts climbing up the cat begins to scuttle away, going higher up through the branches. JOHNNY (CONT'D) No, no, no, nooo -- don’t go up higher! TIMMY ...Are you sure you know what you’re doing? JOHNNY I’ve been getting cats outta trees since before you were in the womb, boy! A CRAZY GUY appears behind Timmy. He looks up at the tree. CRAZY GUY What’re we looking at here? TIMMY My kitty cat’s stuck in the tree. CRAZY GUY Aw, that’s easy to solve! Yah just gotta scare ‘im out! The Crazy Guy takes a pistol and points up. Timmy looks. TIMMY What’re you doing? CRAZY GUY Trust me. I’m an expert. Up in the tree, Johnny gets to the kitten. JOHNNY (beckoning) Come on little fella, don’t be scared. As the kitten jumps into Johnny’s arm, a bullet bounces off a tree branch... PANG! JOHNNY (CONT'D) What was -Another bullet... PANG!

56.

Johnny looks down, sees the Crazy Guy. BELOW the tree Timmy is pulling on the Crazy Guy’s shooting arm, trying to stop him. TIMMY Stop! You’re gonna kill my kitty cat! CRAZY GUY Success is too close for us to stop now! Crazy Guy shoots one more bullet. A SNAPPING noise is heard. Johnny suddenly falls to the ground. He lays on his back with the kitten in his arms and a broken branch beside. CRAZY GUY (CONT'D) See! We did it! Scared ‘em right out! Timmy grabs his kitten and hugs it. TIMMY Oh! Mr. Fluffy! I was so worried! Johnny gets up. CRAZY GUY I must be going now! The Crazy Guy leaves. TIMMY Thanks so much for helping me out, Mr. Johnny-sir! I really appreciate it, I really do! JOHNNY (rubbing head) Sure. No problem. Johnny’s CELL-PHONE rings. He reaches into his pocket and picks it up. Hello?

JOHNNY (CONT'D)

57.

CUTAWAY TO - CHURCH LIBRARY Father Fullerton is on the phone, at the same time looking at the IRONIC DAILY NEWSPAPER in his hand with a photo of Hitler on the front which reads, “Hitler Impersonator Wreaks Havoc” FULLERTON Johnny. It’s Father Fullerton, where’ve you -Fullerton suddenly SNEEZES and drops the paper to the floor. A little green hand reaches out and grabs it. Bless you.

JOHNNY (VO)

GOBBY the Imp stretches his arm and gives the paper back to Fullerton. Thank you.

FULLERTON

RETURN TO SCENE The PHONE conversation continues. JOHNNY ...So what’s up? FULLERTON (VO) I want you to meet with some people today. Johnny sits under the tree. Like who?

JOHNNY

FULLERTON (VO) A friend of mine, Rabbi Rabinowitz. JOHNNY That’s a catchy name. FULLERTON (VO) Yes. I suppose. JOHNNY So why do you want me to meet with him? Isn’t he Jewish? Obviously...

58.

FULLERTON (VO) The organization extends beyond the Vatican. There are all types of religious groups who help us protect the world against evil... After all we’re all in the same boat. Right.

JOHNNY

FULLERTON (VO) I’ll text you the location of the synagogue. JOHNNY Okay, and you said I’d be meeting with ‘people.’ Who are these other people? FULLERTON (VO) He’s a young fellow about your age. Very intelligent and sharp. He’s going to help you out. JOHNNY I don’t need help. FULLERTON (VO) Johnny, you got a good heart -- but you’re clumsy and you’re goofy. You need some help. JOHNNY Gee, thanks for being so gentle. FULLERTON Just go to the synagogue and see Rabinowitz, alright? JOHNNY What’s it about? FULLERTON He’ll fill you in. EXT. SYNAGOGUE - DAY Johnny goes into the synagogue.

59.

INT. SYNAGOGUE - DAY He slowly walks between the rows of seats; looking around, awestruck by the ornate architecture and beauty. At the front there is a person sitting alone at the end of a bench, perusing through what appears to be the Jewish Bible, or as it is commonly known, the Tanakh. As Johnny moves closer, the details of the man start to become familiar. Only a few feet away he recognizes him. It’s his best friend, Cornelius! JOHNNY (looking) What the? Cornelius! Cornelius turns to Johnny; puts down the Tanakh. CORNELIUS Johnny! Shalom! Mazal tov! JOHNNY Mazal -- wha’? CORNELIUS It means ‘good luck’ in Hebrew. JOHNNY Oookay... What’re you doing here? You’re not Jewish are you? Because that would great. Having a faith, going back to your roots, I mean -CORNELIUS No, no, no. I’m still an atheist. I’m just here to meet someone. JOHNNY Oh. Same here. Really?

CORNELIUS

JOHNNY I guess it’s just a coincidence. CORNELIUS That’s cool with me.

60.

RABINOWITZ (OS) Johnny! Is that you? Rabbi RABINOWITZ appears. Johnny and Cornelius turn their attention toward him. RABINOWITZ (CONT'D) (walking) It is a pleasure to meet you! And I see you’ve already met your partner! JOHNNY Rabbi Rabinowitz, I don’t think we should be talking about this here. Johnny tilts his head pointing to Cornelius. JOHNNY (CONT'D) If you get my drift. RABINOWITZ No, it’s okay! No secrets required! It’s only me, you, and your partner here! JOHNNY (looking around) I don’t see anybody here except for you, me, and my friend Cornelius, I... Rabinowitz joins Johnny and Cornelius by the benches. He points at Cornelius. RABINOWITZ Yes. This is him. This is your partner. Johnny looks at Cornelius with disbelief. JOHNNY What? You’re kidding me. RABINOWITZ I tell no jokes. JOHNNY But, but he’s an atheist.

61.

RABINOWITZ I know, but he’s good. We need him. He’s the best ancient weapon and relics expert around. JOHNNY (to Cornelius) Waaait a minute! You mean to say you knew about me this whole time? CORNELIUS You tried so hard to keep your secret. I just didn’t wanna spoil it for you. All that effort. Johnny is mortified, he rubs his forehead like he’s getting a headache. JOHNNY Oh my God... RABINOWITZ Are you over your shock now? Can I tell you what to do? JOHNNY Alright, I’m listening. RABINOWITZ There is a crisis going on. Important relics from around the world are going missing. Some more important than others. But the big thing is the bread of the Last Supper, which went missing a couple days ago. JOHNNY What’s so big about it? CORNELIUS It can be used to resurrect the deceased. RABINOWITZ And we also believe they have obtained the book of the dead. JOHNNY Are they connected?

62.

RABINOWITZ We believe so. We think they might be resurrecting someone who can translate the book. JOHNNY And if it’s translated? RABINOWITZ We’re not sure. CORNELIUS Either way it’s gotta be something bad. Weren’t those items stolen by skinheads? RABINOWITZ Yes. Those manure-eating Nazi bastards. JOHNNY ...So what do you want us to do? RABINOWITZ Find out what’s going on. Try to stop it. EXT. FIELD - NIGHT The skinheads are gathered around in a large grassy field. They are mesmerized, watching Hitler on stage, making an impassioned speech of 100% pure evil. He is standing behind a podium plastered with the swastika on front. HITLER More than 60 years ago, I tried to take over the world. I tried to build Germany into the great empire that it deserved to be. But I ultimately failed. The reason why -I WAS NOT TOUGH ENOUGH! I held back! I restrained myself! But now that I have returned and learnt my lessons -- WE WILL HAVE A NEW WORLD ORDER! The skinheads cheer. HITLER (CONT'D) No mercy for anyone! Death to every vile insect who stands in our way! (MORE)

63. HITLER (CONT'D) EITHER YOU ARE WITH US OR YOU ARE AGAINST US!

The skinheads cheer some more. Hitler lifts the Book of the Dead above his head. HITLER (CONT'D) Once I have translate this book we will rule ONCE AGAIN! More cheering. Saluting. SOME SKINHEAD shouts out. SOME SKINHEAD (OS) Heil Hitla! EXT. HILLTOP OVERLOOKING FIELD - NIGHT The skinhead gathering is being watched through BINOCULARS. JOHNNY (OS) Is that really him? CORNELIUS (OS) He’s got the moustache. Johnny puts down his binocular. He and Cornelius are on the hilltop, sheltered behind a rock, carefully watching the gathering. JOHNNY I dunno if this is such a good plan. CORNELIUS Don’t wuss out on me now. Cornelius picks up a longbow from the ground and loads in an arrow. CORNELIUS (CONT'D) We have to kill him. Cornelius aims the longbow. CORNELIUS (CONT'D) He’s a big jerk. JOHNNY Gee, that’s an understatement. CORNELIUS Okay. Quiet. I need concentration.

64.

Cornelius puts HITLER INTO HIS SIGHT. CORNELIUS (CONT'D) Here we go... Bernard appears on the hilltop beside Johnny. He grimaces and growls in a low tone. JOHNNY Uh, Cornelius? CORNELIUS (aiming bow) In a second! Johnny throws a punch at Bernard. Bernard catches his fist and gives him a head-butt. Johnny stumbles back and falls onto Cornelius. The longbow lets go of the arrow and shoots. EXT. FIELD - NIGHT Hitler gestures wildly with his arms on stage. HITLER Now is the time to act! We must gather our resources and -The arrow lands on stage, between Hitler’s boots... THUNK! Hitler and the skinheads turn around and look up at the hilltop. They see Cornelius, Johnny, and Bernard rustling around. EXT. HILLTOP OVERLOOKING FIELD - NIGHT Cornelius rushes toward Bernard, he winds up and throws a haymaker. Bernard blocks and retaliates with a gut punch, and a pounding elbow smash on the back. Cornelius falls to the ground unconscious. Bernard kicks him away like nothing, rolling him off elsewhere. JOHNNY You son of a.... AGHHHHH! Johnny charges at Bernard.

65.

EXT. FIELD - NIGHT Hitler grabs an RPG launcher from behind the podium. He jumps into the crowd. The skinheads part and clear a path. Hitler gets on bended knee and looks through the sight, aiming at the hilltop. EXT. HILLTOP OVERLOOKING FIELD - NIGHT Johnny attacks Bernard with a heavy left and right hook punch. Bernard counters with a sharp jab to his chin. Johnny falls to the ground -- but he gets back up. BERNARD You don’t know when to lay down do you? JOHNNY Persistence is the key to success! Johnny strikes at Bernard with a straight punch followed by spinning back fist. But Bernard just shakes it off. He grabs Johnny by the skull and gives him one, two, THREE punches! BANG! BANG! BANG! Johnny staggers back. Bernard runs at him and gives a super upper-cut! Johnny flies up and falls to the ground... THUD! Bernard jumps on top of him, placing a hand around his throat. He squeezes Johnny’s face red. BERNARD I’m going to make this very painful... As Bernard raises his fist an EXPLOSION knocks him back. EXT. FIELD - DAY Hitler looks out from behind his RPG launcher. HITLER Shit! I missed!

66.

EXT. HILLTOP OVERLOOKING FIELD - NIGHT Johnny picks up Cornelius. He spreads out his wings and transforms into the Angel as another RPG hits the ground and explodes. The Angel glares out below. ANGEL We’ll be back... He zooms off into the sky. INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY Johnny and Danica stand around Cornelius who is in a coma, hooked up to a medica ventilator. JOHNNY This is all my fault... I caused this. DANICA How is it your fault? What did you have to do with it? JOHNNY We... work together. You know what I’m talking about, Danica... DANICA He’s part of it too? JOHNNY They told me I had to take him along. DANICA How could you, Johnny? He doesn’t have the same abilities as you. You knew he would get hurt. JOHNNY They said he was the best! Cornelius’ eyes open. He speaks with a raspy voice. CORNELIUS I am the best.

67.

DANICA (surprised) Cornelius! Danica hugs Cornelius. CORNELIUS Ugh, too tight. Sorry.

DANICA

She lets go. JOHNNY (annoyed and relieved) You -- you were listening this whole time weren’t you? CORNELIUS I liked when you said I was awesome. JOHNNY I’m so sorry about what happened. CORNELIUS I’m okay, man. There’s no need to get all emotional. I’m fine. It comes with the territory. DANICA Who did this to you? The Nazis. Nazis??

CORNELIUS DANICA

CORNELIUS The skinheads. JOHNNY They’re planning on something big. Some kind of new world order. DANICA That sounds serious. CORNELIUS You don’t know the half of it.

68.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAIR - DAY Hitler sits by a table reading the BOOK OF THE DEAD in his underground lair, a cold devoid place, with dark colors, and uninspired decor. The very opposite of his vision for what he believes Nazism should be. He mumbles to himself while taking notes. HITLER Under the solar eclipse is when the ritual should be performed... It is then when the earth will tremble and the beast will arise... For a thousand years world will be -Kriepenztop suddenly appears in front of Hitler. KRIEPENZTOP (interrupts) WHAT’RE YOU DOING THERE ADOLF?! Almost got the book of the dead translated, hmm? HITLER I’m sorry. I cannot hear you. Would you please come a little closer? Kriepenztop gets closer to Hitler. KRIEPENZTOP Are you almost done translating the book? HITLER I still cannot hear you. Come closer. Kriepenztop gets even closer. Closer.

HITLER (CONT'D)

He leans in. Hitler grabs his ear and twists it. HITLER (CONT'D) DON’T INTERRUPT ME! KRIEPENZTOP Augh! Let go! Let go!

69.

Hitler lets go of Kriepenztop. He stumbles back and props himself up against a wall. HITLER Prepare the men for the Blitzkrieg. Kriepenztop rubs his reddened ear. EXT. STREETS OF LA - DAY A small group of people WATCH THE TELEVISIONS in the electronics shop. There is a female NEWS REPORTER standing with a mic in front of a camera, reporting about the SKINHEAD RALLY taking place behind her. The skinheads have placards with vicious vitriolic statements, offensive to all races, religions and types of people. NEWS REPORTER What makes this skinhead, slash, Nazi rally so incredible -- is the complete and utter ignorance of the contributions of immigrants and peoples of other races. The news camera zooms in on a placard which reads, “Go Home You Native Indians!!!” Turning away from the electronics shop we go over to the actual event which is taking place live only a few feet away... The News Reporter stops SOME SKINHEAD to speak with him. NEWS REPORTER (CONT'D) Excuse me sir, could you tell me what this rally is really all about? SOME SKINHEAD It’s about showing the world who we are and what we’ve done for society. This country is ours! It belongs to the white people! We made place what it is! (Nazi Salute) Heil Hitla!

70.

NEWS REPORTER (whispers) What an idiot. The skinheads march past the News Reporter. They’re being carefully watched by Policemen. The CHIEF of police wanders along the street and accidentally bumps into the News Reporter. Excuse me.

CHIEF

The News Reporter grabs the Chief on the shoulder. CHIEF (CONT'D) Chief Fandino! Could we talk for a minute? The Chief turns to the Camera and stands face to face with the News Reporter. CHIEF (CONT'D) Okay. Just make it quick. NEWS REPORTER ...What are you doing here? CHIEF What else? I love Hitler. NEWS REPORTER Are you serious? CHIEF (folds arm) What do you think? NEWS REPORTER You know even for a joke that’s not funny. CHIEF So sue me, I’m not much of a comedian. Suddenly a COMMOTION of noise captures the attention of the cameraman. He turns away from the News Report and Chief and focuses on the rally where the skinheads are turning violent. They’re throwing rocks and various debris, anything they can pick up, at the line of riot control officers behind their shields.

71.

Aw crap...

CHIEF (OS) (CONT'D)

The skinheads move forward against the officers, increasing with agitation. A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL is thrown. It shatters onto one of the men, setting him on fire. He screams as he drops his shield. He falls to the ground and rolls out the flames. The Chief grabs the News Reporter by the hand. CHIEF (CONT'D) Come on, it’s not safe here! He drags her along, presumably somewhere safe. CHIEF (OS) (CONT'D) Release the tear gas! The officers launch canisters of tear gas into the crowd. The skinheads get shrouded in smoke. EXT. ROOFTOP OVERLOOKING STREETS OF LA - DAY Danica stands behind the Angel as he perches on the edge of a roof looking down below. All he can see his smoke. DANICA I don’t understand why they’re holding a protest. What’re they protesting? ANGEL ...It’s a ruse. A PANZER IV rolls onto the street below. ANGEL (CONT'D) They staged the rally to get through the street. It’s a distraction. The Angel spots Hitler -- or what appears to be Hitler -manned in the tank hatch. ANGEL (CONT'D) There he is! The Angel jumps down. Wait!

DANICA

72.

EXT. STREETS OF LA - DAY The Angel lands on the Panzer IV and grabs Hitler by the collar. ANGEL Game over Hit -But finds it is only dummy, a Hitler look-alike. What the?

ANGEL (CONT'D)

Another Panzer IV appears from behind. It swings its turret and aims its cannon. Before the Angel can even half-contort a look of shock, the REAL HITLER smiles as a SHELL SHOOTS OUT slow-mo. It explodes and pushes the Angel into the smoke, where the two Panzer IVs then disappear into. EXT. ROOFTOP OVERLOOKING STREETS OF LA - DAY Danica covers her mouth in shock. EXT. STREET OF LA - DAY The two Panzer IVs come out on the OTHER SIDE of the teargas cloud. They go straight and pause in front of a large white stoney building -- a MUSEUM. EXT. STREETS OF LA - MUSEUM - DAY The Panzer IVs move up the steps. INT. MUSEUM - DAY The Panzer IVs crash through the front. Broken glass and metal spritzes across the wooden floor. Hitler and his men -- which include Kriepenztop, Thief #1 and Thief #2 -- get out of their tanks. Hitler leads them ahead through a long corridor filled with various curiosities. The group gets to the end. There is a golden mechanical STOPWATCH resting on a velvet pillow in a tall glass case.

73.

There is an inscription on the front which reads, “Tesla’s Chronometer” Hitler takes out a LUGER P08 and pulls on the toggle joint. He fires at the case, shattering the glass. He grabs the stopwatch and declares... HITLER Time to go! As Hitler and his men begin to leave, the Angel -- with his now charred hair and burnt wings -- is seen following, cautiously skulking between the museum displays. He sneaks behind a life-size figure of a Teutonic Knight ANGEL (whispers to Knight) Forgive me for breaking the 8th commandment, but I really need this. And “borrows” its sword and belt. When Hitler is within close proximity, the Angel jumps out with a warrior’s scream. He swings the Knight’s sword, but Hitler avoids the attack. So he tries again. Hitler quickly presses his stopwatch. The Angel becomes frozen midway in his assault -- almost as if time has stopped. HITLER (looking, amazed) It works... THIEF #1 It’s a time stopper. THIEF #2 Then why aren’t we frozen too? HITLER It knows... It knows what I want. KRIEPENZTOP Let’s kill ‘im already! Kriepenztop takes out a pistol and points it at the Angel. As he squeezes the trigger, Hitler double presses his stopwatch. Kriepenztop and the bullet freeze midair.

74.

Hitler pushes the bullet aside, it drops to the ground. HITLER It’s not that easy to kill an Angel. THIEF #2 Shall we attack at another time? Hitler nods. Thief #2 picks up Kriepenztop. The skinheads leave. We hear the sound of the Panzer IVs exiting the museum. The Angel suddenly unfreezes. He collapses to the ground and gasps for air, like he’s been under water. INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - DAY Cornelius zooms down the hallway in a WHEELCHAIR. Gangway!

CORNELIUS

With a big grin on his face he maneuvers around the orderlies. They gasp at his audacious behavior. Cornelius spins around a nurse. CORNELIUS (CONT'D) See yah nurse! Then a doctor. CORNELIUS (CONT'D) See yah doctor! He looks ahead and grabs the side of the two big wheels to stop. A pair of bodies, a middle-aged man and woman, step in his way -- his parents -- Mr. McQueen and Mrs. McQueen. Hey...

CORNELIUS (CONT'D)

MR. MCQUEEN We’ve come here to take you home. CORNELIUS Oh -- great! Maybe we can stop off for a couple burgers on the way. Lemme tell you something, the hospital food is just as bad as the airplane food.

75.

MR. MCQUEEN We’re not going to stop for food. Why not?

CORNELIUS

INT. HOSPITAL ELEVATOR - DAY Mr. McQueen and Mrs. McQueen stand beside Cornelius in his wheelchair. MRS. MCQUEEN Your father and I are taking a break from each other. What?

CORNELIUS

MR. MCQUEEN You and I, and your sister, will be heading back to New York next week. CORNELIUS No... No! Everything was working out so great! What’s wrong with you two?! Can’t you even get along?! MRS. MCQUEEN Don’t get upset, honey. We just gotta work some things out. That’s all. CORNELIUS Can’t you work these things out while living together? I don’t understand why you have to be so ‘separated.’ I mean, why? What’s the point? MR. MCQUEEN Son. You’re an adult. You should understand these things by now. CORNELIUS Is it me? Is that it? I’ve been real immature about things, haven’t I? But, but you know what? I can change. NAY! I will change! From this day forward it’s a new, Cornelius McQueen!

76.

MR. MCQUEEN Son! You were an accident. MRS. MCQUEEN (whispers) What’re you doing, Gerald? MR. MCQUEEN Mariam. He has to know. He has to grow up. (to Cornelius) Cornelius. Your mother and I did not meet in college. We met in a bar. One too many drinks... and to make a story short, you were conceived in a bathroom. CORNELIUS Dad, this isn’t funny. MR. MCQUEEN I’m not trying to be funny... You were a mistake, Cornelius. Your mother and I stayed together because of you. That’s the only reason why we’re here. CORNELIUS Oh screw off. The elevator doors open. Cornelius bursts out and wheels himself into the lobby, rushing to leave. MRS. MCQUEEN Cornelius! Come back! EXT. HOSPITAL - DAY Cornelius hops down a ramp in his wheelchair and rolls along the sidewalk. CORNELIUS (grumbling, mumbling) They think they’re so -- argh! I don’t need them. I don’t need those people. I’m just fine on my own. Yeah! I’ll go solo. That’s what I’ll do, I’ll... He stops when he hears the sound of old-timey airplanes. Very close. Getting increasingly loud.

77.

CORNELIUS (CONT'D) Why do I hear the sound of Bf 109s? Those are from world war -ZHRRRRRRRRR! A Bf 109 flies past Cornelius. The wind from it knocks him back. Three more of the same planes follow. EXT. SKY - DAY The Bf 109s are travelling in a diamond formation over the city of Los Angeles. Hitler is in front, leading: Kriepenztop, Thief #1, and Thief #2. INT. HITLER’S PLANE - DAY Hitler addresses his men over the radio. HITLER How is everyone doing? INT. THIEF #1’S PLANE - DAY Thief #1 gives a thumbs-up. Ready.

THIEF #1

INT. THIEF #2’S PLANE - DAY So does Thief #2. Ready.

THIEF #2

INT. KRIEPENZTOP’S PLANE - DAY Kriepenztop scratches his head. KRIEPENZTOP ...What’s the plan again? Hitler growls over the radio. HITLER (VO) Shut up and follow my lead.

78.

EXT. SKY - DAY All four planes swoop down. INT. CALI HOUSE - DANICA’S ROOM - DAY Danica is asleep in bed wearing large D.J. style headphones. INT. CALI HOUSE - GUEST ROOM - DAY Johnny is in front of a mirror with his sword. He twirls it around and holds it at the neck of an imaginary opponent. JOHNNY I’m sending you back to hell! Yaw! Then he makes a slicing noise and moves the blade across -decapitating. JOHNNY (CONT'D) Now your head is on the floor! What’re you gonna do, Hitler?! Johnny’s CELL-PHONE rings. He puts his sword away into his sheath and picks it up. JOHNNY (CONT'D) (on phone) Hello? Yeah. I’m on my way. I’m just getting some -A loud WHRRRRRRRRR noise interrupts the conversation. Johnny looks at the window and slowly moves toward it, following the PLANE ENGINE SOUNDS which gets louder and louder. FULLERTON (VO) (filtered) Johnny? As he gets to the window, it shatters from a sudden hail of bullets. Johnny falls to the floor and drops his cell-phone. It slides across the floor and explodes from a hit. EXT. CALI HOUSE - DAY The Bf 109 planes circle around the house like sharks.

79.

INT. HITLER’S PLANE - DAY Hitler has an unsettling smile on his face. HITLER Come out and play, you treacherous gentile! EXT. CALI HOUSE - DAY The Angel rushes out through a window, he goes up into the sky, followed by the four Bf 109s. EXT. SKY - DAY He climbs through the clouds with the planes close on his tail. He tries to outmaneuver them by turning and weaving, but the skinheads stick close by mimicking his every move. The Angel in a straight chase, suddenly stops. He tucks into a ball and rolls back. He withdraws his sword and as the planes rush past underneath, he slices the wing off the back Bf 109. Kriepenztop and his plane fall into a twirling nosedive. EXT. QUIET HOUSE - DAY A man in a robe comes out his house. As he yawns and bends down to pick up his newspaper, Kriepenztop’s Bf 109 crashes and lands in front of him. The man quietly goes back inside. EXT. SKY - DAY With three planes left, the Angel starts to pulls up. It looks like he’s going into a loop, but before he completes the move, he dives straight down. He spins as he descends. EXT. CAR TUNNEL - DAY Hitler and the planes follow the Angel inside a tunnel.

80.

INT. CAR TUNNEL - DAY They fly over the speeding cars, only inches above. INT. HITLER’S PLANE - DAY A cockpit view shows Hitler chasing the Angel. HITLER You’re mine! He presses the gun trigger on his control stick. INT. CAR TUNNEL - DAY Bullets shoot out from underneath the wing of Hitler’s airplane -- TAKA! TAKA! TAKA! They barely miss the Angel, skinning him on his shoulders, and spitting into the concrete walls beside. EXT. BUNKER HILL - DAY The Angel leads the Bf 109s out onto a street in Bunker Hill. As he banks left at a large building the planes shoot and knock out several panes of glass. The shards fall onto a person below. Down ANOTHER STREET into slow moving traffic, the Angel swerves around a huge gas truck which a big sticker on the back which reads, “DANGER! HIGHLY EXPLOSIVE!” The driver inside sticks his head out the window and looks at the Angel; his eyes then shift to the side-view mirror where he sees the oncoming planes. He quickly sticks his head back inside as the side-view mirror explodes from a bullet shot. The planes pass by at top speed. And the chase continues. The Angel goes past a green traffic light, which suddenly turns red for Hitler and the others. They blast it out, causing a three way car crash.

81.

The Angel looks back. The planes are still on him. He CIRCLES around a HIGH RISE BUILDING ‘till he takes the Bf 109s back into the sky. EXT. SKY - DAY The Angel and flies up straight, fast as he can. The chasing planes struggle in the vertical climb. Their engines sputter like a beat up old truck. They pop up through a cloud against a picturesque background of a clear blue sky and a gleaming yellow sun. Up here time seems to slow down... Then suddenly Thief #1 and Thief #2’s Bf 109s stall out. INT. THIEF #2’S PLANE - DAY Thief #2 has a look of horror of his face as he listens to the silence of his plane. Aw shit.

THIEF #2

EXT. SKY - DAY The two fall through the cloud below them and DROP DOWN in unison. INT. THIEF #1’S PLANE - DAY Thief #1 screams as he spins around, trying to regain control, pulling on his control stick. THIEF #1 I can’t gain control! EXT. SKY - DAY As Thief #1 and Thief #2 descend together, their planes violently smash into each other. KABOOOOOM!

82.

EXT. HOLLYWOOD SIGN - DAY The flaming remains of the two Bf 109s fall from the sky and crash into the famous Hollywood Sign. One letter destroyed for each airplane. Two L’s gone spelling, “HO

YWOOD“

EXT. SKY - DAY The Angel angles down as Hitler chases in his Bf 109, shooting a steady stream of bullets. INT. HITLER’S PLANE - DAY Hitler’s moustache trembles as he laughs maniacally. HITLER You can’t escape, Angel! EXT. MALL - DAY The Angel descends toward the mall and smashes straight through a piece of glass. Hitler follows him inside; his plane just barely fitting into the building. INT. MALL - DAY The mall shoppers dive down as the Angel and Hitler’s plane narrowly pass over them. INT. HITLER’S PLANE - DAY Hitler watches the Angel from inside. INT. MALL - DAY Hitler shoots at the Angel. As dozens of bullets travel toward him, the Angel does a spinning move and deflects them away with his wings. The bits of metal scatter into the walls. One of them causes a shopper to shriek when it pops her soda can.

83.

INT. HITLER’S PLANE - DAY Hitler clenches his fist. Damn it!

HITLER

INT. MALL - DAY Hitler and the Angel fly toward the BRIDGE ahead. As the Angel swoops underneath and gets to the other side, Bernard suddenly appears from above and jumps down. He wraps his SPIKED ARMS around the Angel’s neck and brings him face down to the floor. Miss me?

BERNARD

Hitler’s plane passes by and leaves. ANGEL Not really, no. The Angel jumps up with Bernard on his back and smashes him into the ceiling above. SMASH! The two separate and drop down to the floor. They jump to their feet and face off. The Angel charges at Bernard. He throws a pair of wild punches, each which miss. Bernard pulls his arm back, his spikes grow longer. He swings forward and knocks the Angel into the air. The Angel lands in front of a bench, in front of a cuddling couple. He looks at them. ANGEL (CONT'D) I think you better get out of here. The couple get off the bench and flea. The Angel gets up as Bernard marches toward him. He takes out his sword and stands in a real Samurai pose; blade held high, back of the body, ready to defend. BERNARD You think that silly little sword is gonna help you?

84.

ANGEL Let’s find out. Bernard lunges at the Angel with a spinning back fist. The Angel bows forward and dodges the attack. Bernard goes into a mad rage, swinging his arms with a wild vigor. But the Angel blocks every strike with his sword. The metal clashes against his thick bony spikes. KLANG! KLANG! KLANG! Bernard slips one over the Angel and batters him in the face. Then he quickly pulls back his arms and thrusts forward with a power U-punch -- a double fisted Karate move. The Angel drops his sword and is thrown back. He tumbles across the floor. Bernard dashes forward and leaps into the air. Clenching his fists together, he pounds down on the Angel as he is about to get up. Then without mercy he grabs him by the top of his skull head and holds him off the ground, punching with heavy blows directly to the face. BAM! BAM! BAM! With glowing eyes, Bernard grabs the half-conscious Angel and takes him by the body. He jumps up high and turns him upside down, then slams him into the floor with a PILEDRIVER. The dust on the ground circles out with the waves of energy. Bernard lets go of the Angel who is now completely unconscious. A crowd gathers around quietly. Bernard picks up the Angel’s sword. BERNARD (mockingly) Don’t forget your sword. And places it back into his sheath. He swaggers away. The Angel lies lifelessly in the rubble underneath his body. As the crowd shuffles closer we slowly move away, ascending directly above, seeing the life of the mall now subdued with silence. EXT. PLAINVIEW CEMETERY - DAY As the sun goes down on a late afternoon...

85.

Carrying shovels, Rabbi Rabinowitz and two priests wearing the Vatican Brigade lapel pin, walk over to a white unmarked cross. RABINOWITZ I hope it’s not too late. The three of them start digging into the pauper’s grave like crazy. Rabbi Rabinowitz wipes the sweat above his thick brow. RABINOWITZ (CONT'D) This is taking too long. Rabinowitz climbs out of the ditch. Priest PETER looks back. PETER Where’re you going? We don’t have time! Take five!

RABINOWITZ

The priests stop and rest. As they lean on their shovels the soil begins to rumble, like a tank moving across the ground. Rabinowitz returns with a DIGGER MACHINE. The priests jump out as he lowers the scoop/bucket into the ditch. CUT TO: EXT. PLAINVIEW CEMETERY - DAY Rabinowitz and the two priests jimmy opens a cheap looking coffin on the grass. Johnny is lying inside, all cold looking and pale. His lips are blue. PETER (staring) Look at this face -- he’s completely dead. There’s no way we can bring him back. RABINOWITZ Nobody truly dies, Peter. We just move from place to place. Rabinowitz sticks out his hand. RABINOWITZ (CONT'D) The holy water, please.

86.

The other priest hands Rabinowitz a bottle of holy water. Rabinowitz unscrews it and opens Johnny’s mouth. He pours it in. Nothing seems to be happening. PETER He’s not awakening. You said he would awake. RABINOWITZ Patience... Rabinowitz balls his hand into a fist and hammers down on Johnny in the solar-plexus. Johnny awakes with a shock and spits up the holy water onto the priests. He puts his hands on the edges of the coffin. He breathes deeply like he’s outta breath. Shalom!

RABINOWITZ (CONT'D)

INT. HOLLYWOOD HOTEL - LOBBY - DAY A hotel GUEST chit-chats with a CLERK at the FRONT DESK. GUEST (major lisp) I’ll be honest with you. I really thought Hollywood was gonna be a little more exciting. I didn’t even see any celebrities. Yeah okay, I saw Paris Hilton -- but it was sooo underwhelming. She just kept going on about macroeconomics and how global lending policies affect developing nations. I had no idea what she was talking about. CLERK I understand where you’re coming from. Yah see the movies and yah think the place where the movies is made is gonna be just as exciting. Well, that is where you tourists go wrong. This is a place of business. It’s all a big fricking illusion to prop up the souvenir industry. Nothing ever happens here. It’s Dullsville, sir. You want excitement? Go to Canada. I hear those guys are completely crazy. Why do you think they call their money the loonie?

87.

GUEST Welp, I got a week more here with the family. Something is bound to happen. The Clerks slaps his hand on the desk and leans forward, staring into the Guest’s eyes. CLERK NOTHING is going to happen. The Clerk glances over his shoulder amidst the awkward silence. See?

CLERK (CONT'D)

The Guest backs away, disturbed. GUEST Oookay. I think I’ll be going now. I, uh, have to -- use the ATM. He heads toward the exit. CLERK You’re going the wrong way, man! (points with thumb) ATM’s back here! GUEST Uh -- no, it’s not! The Clerk looks behind. There’s no ATM. CLERK Oh. He’s right. It’s not. As the Guest gets closer to the exit, the revolving doors, a Panzer IV tank suddenly CRASHES through the front. The Guest falls to his bottom. He crawls away scared as Hitler, Bernard, and his crew of skinheads enter the hotel. THREE Security guards appear in front and point their guns. The HEAD SECURITY GUARD screams. Freeze!

HEAD SECURITY GUARD

Hitler and the skinheads look at each other like, “Is this a joke?” Then they keep walking forward. The Head Security Guard gets antsy.

88.

HEAD SECURITY GUARD (CONT'D) I said, “FREEZE!” He shoots his gun. The bullet lodges into Bernard’s muscular shoulder. Hitler and the skinheads stop. The whole place is silent, staring quietly. Bernard plucks the bullet out and flicks it to the floor. He spikes up his arms and starts running toward the security guards. HEAD SECURITY GUARD (CONT'D) Stay where you are! Bernard swings out his arm and swats at the Head Security Guard, sending him flying over the Clerk at the front desk. Then, still in his charge, he clotheslines the next security guard, causing him to spin in the air and fall to the ground with a resounding THUD! The last security guard, knees quivering, drops his gun and tries to make a run for it. Bernard chases him down and grabs him by the back of the neck. BERNARD Where do you think you’re going?! He slams the security guard into the wall, killing him like the others. Bernard turns to Hitler and salutes. Hitler salutes back, then he and the skinheads continue, marching past the front desk. CLERK ...Enjoy your stay! EXT. HOLLYWOOD HOTEL - ROOFTOP - DAY Bernard and the skinheads stand behind Hitler as he looks out over the city. HITLER Once we open the ninth circle of hell, we will command the giants. Hitler stamps his foot down. The book!

HITLER (CONT'D)

89.

A skinhead standing in back hastily takes out the book of the dead and passes it along to the front where they give it to Hitler. Hitler opens up the book. A mysterious wind starts to blow on his face and the sky starts to darken. HITLER (CONT'D) (looking up) Ah, and so it begins... We see the sun as it goes into a SOLAR ECLIPSE; the day turning into NIGHT. CUT TO: EXT. HOLLYWOOD HOTEL - ROOFTOP - NIGHT Hitler reaches into his pocket and takes out Tesla’s Chronometer. He presses the button on the stopwatch and freezes the eclipse. HITLER (reciting to self) Time is frozen for sun and the moon. An eternal eclipse. We are cast permanently into a time that is neither day nor night. This is when the giants of the underworld may be summoned. Hitler puts away his stop watch. He flips the pages of the book of the dead and starts reading the hieroglyphics. It is UNKNOWN what he is saying. HITLER (CONT'D) (gibberish) I make the ultimate sacrifice! I give to you, dear demon king, the human race! It is yours! So rise from the ground and feast! Lead us to glory! From the heavens and the deities, absorb this power! Earth is waiting for your return! Come to us! Let us be part of you! We salute and give our obedience! Be here for us! Do not make us wait! Arise demon king! Arise demon king!! Arise demon king!!!

90.

Suddenly the roof starts to shakes. The skinheads sway as they try to keep standing... EARTHQUAKE! MONTAGE - EARTHQUAKE: EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - NIGHT Houses rumbles from the earthquake. The ALARM on cars parked outside go off. INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT A couple’s romantic dinner is interrupted when the room starts to shake. They look up at their flickering chandelier, swinging violently back and forth. The HUSBAND gives his wife a cold stare. HUSBAND Get under the table! The couple crawls under the table; cups and plates crash to the floor. EXT. PARK - NIGHT Trees are falling down and being uprooted. INT. PETSHOP - NIGHT The animals stir inside their cages. They bark, meow, and caw as the shop shakes and the fluorescent lights flicker. INT. ANOTHER HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT As cabinet doors swing open and dishes crash to the floor, a family is huddled under a round wooden table. The parents have their arms around their two children, a young boy and YOUNG GIRL; one wearing a football helmet and the other wearing a hockey helmet. YOUNG GIRL Eee! I’m scared! The mom wraps her arm tighter around the Young Girl.

91.

EXT. BEACH - NIGHT A toddler sits in front of his sand castle, watching it vibrate as panic-stricken people run around screaming in the background. He seems pretty calm -- but when his castle suddenly falls he bursts into tears. His mom jumps out in front and scoops him up. She skitters away to take him to safety. INT. OFFICE BUILDING - NIGHT As the earthquake continues inside a seemingly abandoned office floor, a WORKER inside a cubicle sticks out his head from underneath his desk. WORKER Terry! For Chrissake! Get under your desk! At the cubicle across, a man named TERRY is working on his computer. TERRY Hold on... I just gotta make one last trade. The fluorescent light above Terry pops. He jumps out of his seat and scoots under his desk. END MONTAGE. EXT. HOLLYWOOD HOTEL - ROOFTOP - NIGHT The rumbling fades and disappears. The skinheads stop bracing against each other and stand up straight. Some Skinhead remarks. SOME SKINHEAD It stopped. Hitler hands off the book of the dead to a skinhead standing nearby and walks over to the far edge of the roof. He bends forward and looks down. He smiles as his face starts to glow a melange of red and orange. Something is shining from below.

92.

EXT. HOLLYWOOD HOTEL - NIGHT Hitler leads the skinheads outside to the front of the hotel. There is a huge gaping hole with white steam billowing up, from which a fiery light is shining. HITLER (staring scrumptiously) The 9th circle is open... Behind the steam is a silhouette of a MAN IN A BOWLER HAT, which arises on a small platform of rock. He steps out and reveals himself. Hello!

MAN IN A BOWLER HAT

Some Skinhead voices up. SOME SKINHEAD Who is that? MAN IN A BOWLER HAT I have many names... The Man In A Bowler Hat takes out a long cane and twirls it around. MAN IN A BOWLER HAT (CONT'D) Mephisto. The Prince of Darkness. Lucifer. El Diablo. The Fallen Angel. The Devil... But my favorite is Satan. SOME SKINHEAD You’re Satan? You don’t look very powerful. HITLER (to Some Skinhead) Shut up! MAN IN A BOWLER HAT Relax, Adolf. It’s okay. It’s true. I don’t look very powerful. But right now I’m incognito. I’m not Satan-mode yet. BERNARD ...I don’t get it.

93.

MAN IN A BOWLER HAT Don’t get what? BERNARD Why doesn’t God just stop you? He’s the Almighty is he not? MAN IN A BOWLER HAT Yes! But he also believes in free will! He believes humans will do the right thing. He thinks he knows what’s going to happen -- that’s why he doesn’t intervene. But personally I like to interfere. I say if there is a destiny to be made it should be shaped. I’m very much a go-getter that way. SOME SKINHEAD What exactly is it you do, again? MAN IN A BOWLER HAT I feed off man’s negativity. I sustain myself through their hatred, their selfishness, and their anger. Every time someone is violent, every time someone screams and swears, every time someone goes out of their way to make someone else feel crummy -- I get stronger. I use that strength to prepare for Armageddon; the war against God. Colloquially known as the end of the world. SOME SKINHEAD I don’t want the world to end! MAN IN A BOWLER HAT It’s just a nickname. Don’t take it so seriously. HITLER Enough of this chitchat! MAN IN A BOWLER HAT Yes, Adolf! But before we begin, I must ask a question... How many of you think you are stronger than me? Raise your hand. I know it’s a weird question, but I’d like to know.

94.

The Man In A Bowler Hat looks out. One person in the back raises their hand. Be honest.

MAN IN A BOWLER HAT (CONT'D)

The hand goes down. MAN IN A BOWLER HAT (CONT'D) Nobody, eh? Then I guess you’re all of no use to me. The Man In A Bowler Hat extends out his arm. A stream of red fire comes out from his palm and disintegrates half of the skinheads. Hitler stays calm as the others panic and run. MAN IN A BOWLER HAT (CONT'D) Only cowards run! The Man In A Bowler Hat uses his other arm and disintegrates the rest of the skinheads -- but he misses Bernard. Bernard leaps up tries to escape. The Man In A Bowler Hat makes a snatching motion with his arm. He uses telekineses to seize Bernard in the air. Then he makes a tight squeezing motion. Bernard gags in pain. The Man In A Bowler Hat whips his arms to the side. Bernard crashes through a building and disappears. MAN IN A BOWLER HAT (CONT'D) People are so weak. Ain’t they -The Man In A Bowler Hat looks to his side. Hitler is missing. MAN IN A BOWLER HAT (CONT'D) Hitler? (snaps fingers) Nuts. I knew shouldn’t have shown off too much. Now he’s gone and scared. Ah well! I’ll think I’ll take a look around town. The Man In A Bowler Hat puts his cane over his shoulder and whistles “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah” as he walks away. EXT. MAIN STREET - NIGHT A HIPSTER wearing sunglasses is parked by the curbside in his convertible, tapping his steering wheel and listening to music full-blast: “Highway to Hell” by AC/DC.

95.

HIPSTER (singing along) Don’t need reason! Don’t need rhyme! Ain’t nothing I’d rather do! Going down! Party time! My friend’s are gonna be there too! I’m on the highway to hell! On the highway to hell! Highway to -The Hipster suddenly stops singing and tapping his fingers. He leans to the right and looks in his rearview mirror. There is a pair of giant muscly red legs in the reflection of the glass. He turns around. A huge hoofed foot swings over his head and crushes the front of his convertible... CRUNCH! The music stops. The Hipster takes off his sunglasses and stares down the street, completely shocked. INT. NEWS STUDIO - NIGHT A NEWS ANCHOR is reporting the news behind a long desk, speaking in front of a large window facing out onto the street. NEWS ANCHOR Although astronomers and scientists have not yet arrived at a conclusion as to the cause of this solar eclipse phenomenon; they do however believe it is related to the recent earthquake. Renown physicist Stephen Hawking has suggested that the world is ending and for people to ‘panic, run amok and go crazy.‘ BUT in spite of this suggestion, Chief Fandino and the Los Angeles Police Department is advising its denizens to stay calm, saying, ‘There is no reason to panic. Everything is under control. The situation is being examined. There is no reason to panic. Whatever you do, DO NOT panic.” Personally, I -A GUY IN SHORTS runs up to the window behind the News Anchor and frantically bangs on the glass.

96.

GUY IN SHORTS (interrupts) Omigod! Get out of there! Run for your lives! The News Anchor turns around. A roaring swarm of people run past the Guy In Shorts. GUY IN SHORTS (CONT'D) Move your ass, Katie Couric! The Guy In Shorts turns to the side and looks up with horror. He clumsily tries to back away, but the hand snatches him up and pulls him away from the window. He SCREAMS -- then stops as a bone CRUNCHING sound is heard. His head bitten off; his body drops to the sidewalk. The News Anchor spins on her chair and turns back to the camera. NEWS ANCHOR ...Did you get that? EXT. HUMDRUM STREET - NIGHT Three children on bicycles speed down the street. The trio, consisting of two older brothers and a younger sister, frantically pedal. They get in front of a house. EXT. HUMDRUM STREET - HUMDRUM HOUSE - NIGHT The children ride up to the front door and drop their bikes. The ELDEST BROTHER steps on the welcome mat and grabs the doorknob. He twists the knob and pushes forward, but the door doesn’t open. ELDEST BROTHER (realizes) Keys! The Eldest Brother rummages through his pockets. His LITTLE SISTER glances back. Hurry!

LITTLE SISTER

The Eldest Brother can’t find his keys.

97.

ELDEST BROTHER I can’t find it! The MIDDLE BROTHER chimes in. MIDDLE BROTHER The mat -- the mat, the mat! The Eldest Brother steps off the welcome mat. He flips it over and finds a key. He grabs it and shoves it into the keyhole. He turns the doorknob and pushes open the door. INT. HUMDRUM HOUSE - MAIN FOYER - NIGHT The children run inside the main foyer and dash up the stairs. Mom! Dad!

ELDEST BROTHER

INT. HUMDRUM HOUSE - UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT They run to the end of the hallway and open the door to the MASTER BEDROOM. They quick go in. INT. HUMDRUM HOUSE - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT A middle-aged woman in a robe is resting on the bed with the blinds closed. The Eldest Brother goes over to her and shakes her. Mom! MOM!

ELDEST BROTHER

MOM opens her eyes, still groggy. ELDEST BROTHER (CONT'D) Where is dad?! MOM Mm... Backyard mowing the lawn. ELDEST BROTHER At this time of the night?! MOM (yawns) It’s not even seven o’clock. The alarm clock on the night stand shows the time: 6:16 PM.

98.

ELDEST BROTHER We have to get out of here! Why?

MOM

LITTLE SISTER There’s a monster chasing after us! The Mom sits up and smiles. MOM Kids -- kids! How many times have I told you? Monsters don’t exist. MIDDLE BROTHER Oh, I think they do. The Mom stands up. MOM They’re just a figment of your imagination. The Mom goes over to the closet and opens it. MOM (CONT'D) See? There’s nothing in the closet. She goes back to the bed and lifts up the sheets. MOM (CONT'D) There’s nothing under the bed. She goes to the window and faces her kids. MOM (CONT'D) And there’s nothing lurking outside your window. Then she pulls open the blinds. There’s a giant eye staring into the room. The children jump back in horror, but the Mom doesn’t notice with her back facing toward the window. See?

MOM (CONT'D)

ELDEST BROTHER Turn around, mom...

99.

The Mom slowly turns around. As the eye blinks at her, she screams and faints. EXT. HUMDRUM HOUSE - BACKYARD - DAY The DAD of the Humdrum House happily hums to himself as he mows the lawn. ELDEST BROTHER (OS) Dad! DAAAD! The Dad stops and turns his head. He sees the three of his children leaning out the window at the back of the house. ELDEST BROTHER (CONT'D) Get out of the backyard! The Dad smiles and waves. ELDEST BROTHER (CONT'D) You are in serious danger! He ignores his children and goes back to mowing. The Eldest Brother slaps his forehead in frustration. As the Dad mows the lawn, the ground suddenly begins to shake -BABOOM, BABOOM, BABOOM. The Dad pauses and holds onto his lawn mower. SATAN, previously known as the “Man In A Bowler Hat”, swings around the corner of the house and steps in front of him. The Dad looks up at the gargantuan red monster from hell; staring at his big curly horns and his fangs and his bright glowing eyes. His mouth goes agape and he lets go of his lawn mower. It wheels forward and crashes through the wood fence ahead of him. The Little Sister screams out by the window. LITTLE SISTER Run, dad! Run! The Dad snaps out his stupor and turns to run -- but trips on a branch and falls to the ground. Satan lifts up his foot; and as he is about to set it down, the Angel swoops underneath last second and holds it back with his arms.

100.

ANGEL (struggling) You better get out of here! The Dad rushes to his feet and runs away. The Angel starts to sink into the ground as Satan leans forward trying to squish him. The Angel holds up Satan’s foot with one arm and uses the other to withdraw his sword. He uses it to pierce into Satan’s hoof. SCHIKT! Satan roars as he reels from the pain. He stumbles back and falls into the NEIGHBORING YARD... BABOOOOOM! Car alarms go off, house lights flip on; people curiously looking. The Angel gets into a defensive position with his sword high as Satan curls his back and arises from the ground. Satan towers over the Angel and contorts his face. ANGEL (CONT'D) (low voice) Come on... Satan pulls back his arm. A fireball appears, floating in his hand. He thrusts forward. LOOKING INTO THE EYES of the Angel we see the fireball coming down. Time seems to slow as the round fiery mass hovers toward him. EXT. SKY - NIGHT Flaming like a meteor, the Angel pops up through a cloud. With eyes shut he arcs over the eclipsed sun and starts to drop down. EXT. HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD - EAST - NIGHT The Angel falls from the sky and crashes into the asphalt. As the flames extinguish from his body, Satan barrels down the street and appears in front. He stamps down on the Angel while he tries to get up. STAMP! STAMP! STAMP!

101.

He steps back and rubs his hoof on the ground, like a bull readying for another charge. The Angel stands and stumbles as he tries to collect his senses. He reaches by his waist for his sword -- which is missing from its sheath. ANGEL (sees, realizes) Aw, gee... Satan bellows with a chuckle. Then he charges at the Angel and sweeps him away with a low but powerful swing of the arm. The Angel lands by the STREET CORNER on top of an SUV, crushing it like a soda can. Laying down he hears the sound of a MOTORCYCLE nearby. Father Fullerton appears on a Harley Davidson in a leather jacket and sunglasses. He has a riot shotgun slung around his body. Get on.

FULLERTON

The Angel groans and rolls off the SUV. Fullerton watches through his SUNGLASSES as Satan flashes his teeth and charges up with another fireball. Hurry.

FULLERTON (CONT'D)

The Angel gets on the back of the Harley. Fullerton revs the engine and spins the wheel against the pavement. Then with a burst of energy the bike takes off, only seconds before a fireball can hit. The two wheel toward Satan, top speed. ANGEL Shouldn’t we be going in the opposite direction?! FULLERTON Never run away from your problems! ANGEL What about driving away? Fullerton zigzags avoiding the barrage of fireballs. The attacks are close, some missing by less than a few inches. One of the fireballs hits into a car and flips it over Fullerton and the Angel’s head.

102.

Satan roars with frustration, his arms wrapped in flame. FULLERTON Hang tight. Fullerton pops a wheelie. Whoa!

ANGEL

The Angel hangs on for dear life. The bike’s front drops down and speeds up even faster. Steering with one hand, Fullerton takes off the shotgun around his chest. He pumps it and starts shooting at Satan with sniper-like accuracy. But the shots only scrape against the tough leathery skin. Fullerton throws away his shotgun and dual wields with two pistols, steering the Harley with only the sway of his body, he blasts up at Satan as he passes under his huge thick legs. Satan roars and spins around. He CHASES Fullerton and the Angel. Fullerton tosses away his pistols and lowers down. The bike rattles at maximum speed, the engine straining. The ground rumbles with every step that Satan takes, his hooves running and smashing into the street. ANGEL (CONT'D) (looks back) What’s the plan, again? Plan?

FULLERTON

Satan crosses his arms and throws two fireballs from his hand. They smash into two buildings sitting across from each other. They fall and crumble, creating a large WALL OF RUBBLE. Fullerton turns the Harley to its side and brakes with a slide, stopping right in front of it. Now what?

ANGEL

FULLERTON Keep ‘im busy! Huh?!

ANGEL

103.

Fullerton hops off the motorcycle and scales over the wall of broken buildings. Satan marches over to the Angel. His eyes look down, glowing with a swirling inferno of hatred and anger. SATAN (speaks in unknown language) Don’t fight me. You can’t win. ANGEL You never know if you don’t try. The Angel hops forward on the motorcycle and takes control. He speeds toward Satan and leaps into the air. As the Harley vanishes into the dark of the boulevard, the Angel completes a flip and lands onto Satan’s face, hitting and punching it like it were a pinata. Satan grabs the Angel and ROARS. He takes the Angel and thrusts his body through a building, then runs him along like a mallet going down the bars of a xylophone. Satan spins and whips the Angel away. The Angel goes crashing through a pane of glass and tumbles into a dim building. A moment of silence. Curiosity gets the better of Satan who bends his knees and looks for the Angel inside the building. ANGEL (OS) (CONT'D) Looking for something? Satan turns around and sees the Angel floating behind in the air. But before he can react, he is overwhelmed by a white blur; the Angel streaking back and forth with pounding attacks. Then the Angel winds up and throws a vicious haymaker. Satan gets knocked back and falls onto the wall of rubble, semiconscious. Going for the coupe de grace, the Angel leans back then rockets forward. But Satan suddenly opens his mouth. A ropey tongue whips out and wraps around the Angel. He screams as he is swallowed up.

104.

INT. SATAN’S BELLY - NIGHT The Angel floats down through a pink fleshy tube and falls into a dank pit where the walls are made of living people; souls of the damned, bound to the innards of Satan’s stomach. They moan and extend their arms out as if trying to escape. Hitler appears behind the Angel. Join us!

HITLER

He wraps his arm around his neck with a sinister grin. EXT. HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD - WEST - NIGHT Satan walks along the sidewalk, his hooves drag into the ground, tearing up the stars on the HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME. A shadowy figure with a crossbow appears behind in the distance, watching, stalking. He walks forward with a strut. He calls out with an air of confidence. CORNELIUS Hey! Asshole! Satan turns around. Cornelius’s face is revealed as he aims his crossbow. He launches an arrow into Satan’s shoulder. Satan barely flinches. Come on!

CORNELIUS (CONT'D)

Cornelius walks forward and goads Satan with more arrows. CORNELIUS (CONT'D) I’m right here! Satan roars and charges toward Cornelius, but Cornelius stays calm. He lowers his crossbow and waits. Satan leaps forward like a rabid dog. ...Now!

CORNELIUS (CONT'D)

Danica leaps from a roof with the SPEAR OF DESTINY. She plunges it into Satan’s back. He falls to his hands and knees and shrieks in wild pain. Cornelius puts his arms in front of him as the wind from the roar of Satan’s breath blows across his face.

105.

Satan jerks back and stands up, throwing Danica to the ground. He spins around frantically trying to reach the spear on his back, but it’s firmly planted into his skin. He goes crazy as an energy grows from the spear, spreading through his body like a virus. Danica crawls back with her eyes fixed on Satan; like a person witnessing a car accident, she can’t look away. Satan suddenly explodes... KABOOM! Pink slime flies onto Danica and Cornelius’ faces. They wipe it away as Johnny drops to the ground with Hitler’s stopwatch. Johnny!

CORNELIUS (CONT'D)

The two rush to his side. DANICA Are you okay? Johnny spits out some slime. JOHNNY No -- but I think I’ll live. He looks by his feet and picks up the stopwatch. He stands up and glances at it, then throws it high into the air. It twirls in slow motion. MATCH CUT TO: EXT. SKY - NIGHT TO DAY The stopwatch fades away, dissolving to a disappearing solar eclipse. We drop down to the top of the STATUE OF LIBERTY, back in New York. EXT. STATUE OF LIBERTY - ABOVE - DAY Johnny stands between Danica and Cornelius, looking out at the harbour on the STATUE’S TORCH. JOHNNY It’s a real shame things didn’t work out between your parents... You coulda been a big happy family. Cornelius puts his arm around Johnny.

106.

CORNELIUS I have all the family I need right here. Danica takes in a deep whiff of the sea air. DANICA It’s good to be back in New York. She grabs Johnny’s hand and holds it. Johnny smiles for a moment -- then his expression suddenly drops from his face. He lets go of Danica’s hand and squints with bewilderment, looking out to the horizon. JOHNNY What -- what is that? EXT. STATUE OF LIBERTY - BELOW - DAY A mass of tourists look up as they shield their eyes with their hands. EXT. HORIZON - DAY An angel carrying a sword with black wings descends from the sky and hovers over the sea. He spreads out his arms like a cross. The water swirls beneath his feet. EXT. STATUE OF LIBERTY - ABOVE - DAY Johnny looks at Danica and Cornelius with apprehension. DANICA Go get ‘em. He climbs over the guardrail and leaps down, transforming into the Angel. FADE OUT. EXT. HELL - NIGHT - AFTER CREDITS Hitler is in hell being burnt alive, prodded and tortured by the demons, screaming in pain getting his “just deserts.” THE END