Thank You For Shoplifting At Wa - Thomas, Ricky.pdf

Ricky Thomas Jr Thank you for shoplifting at WalMart © 2013, 2014, Ricky Thomas Self-publishing

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any

means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. Special thanks to photographer “Fuse” for the cover photo. This book is a non-fictional memoir of shoplifting arrests from WalMart. Ricky Thomas is an ex-security insider who takes you into the fascinating world of shoplifting apprehensions at the giant retailer. See WalMart like you've never seen them before! Read about the guy

who got knocked out, the girl who got strip searched, people who got choked out, employees who tried to steal, and much, much more! This is a one of a kind, "tell all" book filled with true stories of crime and scandal at one of America's major stores! If you've ever wondered how people steal, how they get caught, and what happens to them afterwards, then this book is for you!

Forward The following stories are a non-fictional account of my time working at WalMart as a security guard or loss prevention associate. The stories contained herein are factual and are told to the best of my recollections. The stories are not in sequential order. I have changed most of the names to protect the identities of those who would not want to be identified. Some of the stories in this book have originated from third person’s accounts. The following stories describe real procedures used by security personnel to detect, surveil, apprehend, and prosecute shoplifters.

There are no unique trade secrets in this book, and such information was also readily available online through various websites prior to the writing of this book. This book has a lot of information about security procedures, but is not intended to help shoplifters avoid apprehension or prosecution. The purpose of this book is to prevent shoplifting through education of the serious consequences that may follow such behavior. It is not my intention to give any legal advice; I’m not a lawyer, and I don’t know the law. I am merely telling stories as I experienced them during my time at WalMart. Research the laws in your city, state, or county, or consult an attorney for legal advice.

Remember, don’t be messing around and stealing from a store. You may get away with it once, or even 100 times, but you will get caught eventually. This book is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. Disclaimer Although this is a work of non-fiction, the Names, and characters have been changed. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely unintended and coincidental.

Table of Contents Forward Just a security guard Black Friday The hiring process Training day My first shoplifting case My day-to-day routine The silent professional

Chico, the one that got away The two girls and the gift cards The guy who got “knocked out” The girl who got strip searched Mother and daughter turn on each other Mother of the year Special shoplifting strategies We were just playing around The woman who worked for us Do what you gotta do The police informant The bank robber The handicapped boy The Valentine’s Day bandit A Bad Stop

My cousin Larry Interrogation The homeless guy The strong arm robber OSCAR I’m gonna get you Brenda The boy who stole yugi-yo cards An abrupt and Painful end A misunderstanding Full blown AID’s The monster vs. the silent professional On my way Closing remarks

California Penal code 490.5-(F) “A merchant may detain a person for a reasonable time for the purpose of conducting an investigation in a reasonable manner whenever the

merchant has probable cause to believe the person to be detained is attempting to unlawfully take or has unlawfully taken merchandise from the merchant's premises. (2) In making the detention, a merchant, theater owner, or a person employed by a library facility may use a reasonable amount of non-deadly force necessary to protect himself or herself and to prevent escape of the person detained or the loss of tangible or intangible property. When an adult or emancipated minor has unlawfully taken merchandise from a merchant's premises, or a book or other library materials from a library facility,

the adult or emancipated minor shall be liable to the merchant or library facility for damages of not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than five hundred dollars ($500), plus costs. 490. Petty theft is punishable by fine not exceeding one thousand dollars ($1,000), or by imprisonment in the county jail not exceeding six months, or both.

Just a Security Guard On a dark and cold night, I stood in a guard shack at a factory guarding the notorious east gate. This gate is notorious because of rumors circulating about some kind of ghost in the area.

One guard has already quit his job because he was too scared to work out here, and the other guards straight up refused to work this post. I could not believe that grown people acted so childish; I thought, “There is no such thing as fucking ghosts,” but never-theless, here I am. I stand in this guard shack reading some books and drinking some cokes. I’m supposed to log the trucks that go by, but instead I just wave them all through; nobody seems to care. I’m a security guard working for Pearsy Security, a small security/private investigation company located in Bakersfield, California. The owner and operator was a man named John Pearsy,

and he used to be a Sheriff Deputy, but I guess he could not hack it on the force, so he ended up starting his own business. As a security guard, I get paid minimum wage; I have little to no training, and I work with a bunch of screw balls that are even more worthless than I am. As for me, I’m an Army reject, just fresh out of Ft. Benning; as it turns out, I’m not a very good soldier. After my dishonorable Army discharge, I came home with absolutely no chance of getting gainful employment. During my first week home, I landed a job with Pearsy security, which is better than nothing I suppose.

It was about 30 degrees outside, and I was wearing my short sleeve security uniform. I had that wonderful, thick, warm security jacket, but I would not wear it. I stood outside the guard shack drinking a coke when the patrol guard approached me in the security truck. The truck stopped, and the passenger window rolled down. The patrol guard was a woman who worked directly for the factory; she drove by and saw me in front of the guard shack and yelled out, “Aren’t you cold?” I shouted back, “No, this ain’t cold; this is warm!” She laughed and shouted, “You’re crazy!” Then she rolled up the window and continued her patrol.

I work for this small-time company, and I move from post to post. Sometimes my boss has me working concerts, weddings, factories, or a million of other things that people need security guards for. I do whatever the boss wants, and I work my ass off. I have a goal of being promoted to a private investigator, and I know just how to do it. I train in Martial arts, and I take classes at the local community college. I’m extremely motivated to resolving my issues and getting my life back on track, but for now I’m just a security guard.

Black Friday

Most people know that black Friday is the sale right after Thanksgiving. The stores open their doors to lines of people who are there for the huge savings off all items in the store. I was looking forward to yet another wonderful Thanksgiving with my family, and of course, I was advised not to answer my damn cell phone. Next thing you know I get the much dreaded call that you know is gonna come because it’s a holiday. I got a call from my boss Pearsy, and it went something like this… Phone: “Ring, Ring, Ring!!” Me: Hello? Pearsy: Hi, may I speak to Ricky Thomas? Me: This is He.

Pearsy: Hello Ricky. This is John Pearsy; I’d like to know if you’re available to work the night shift tonight. I know it’s Thanksgiving, but the other guard called off. Me: (Telling myself, “Say No!”) Sure Pearsy, where do you need me? Pearsy: Great! Thank you. You’re gonna be working at the WalMart on East Hills from six p.m. to six a.m. Me: (Telling myself, “Dammit! I should’ve said no!”) No problem Pearsy, I’ll be there. Next I go to tell my mom the sad news. Me: Mom, I gotta work tonight. Mom: (laughing) why did you answer your phone sweetie?

Me: Because I’m a dumb ass. We both had some laughs about it, and we were at least thankful that I would be spending Thanksgiving Day with the family. I worked shifts like that because I needed to prove myself to Pearsy to get promoted to private investigator. I already did one of those private investigator correspondence courses that you see advertised on TV, and I got this little certificate in the mail; I thought it was such cool stuff. I spent the day with family and slept for a few hours after everybody left so I could work the night shift. After borrowing some gas money from my

mom, I showed up for work on time and met with another guard who was also working that night. He gave me the post instructions, which was mostly standing guard over the huge storage bins in the back of the store that had a ton of WalMart merchandise. It really was cold this night, and I was reduced to wearing my thick security jacket that warmed me up but also made me feel like a sissy. I was told to stand guard over the merchandise all night long and help with the opening of the store the next morning. As I was standing guard, I was somewhat surprised to see that WalMart actually had their own security guards. I

could not for the life of me figure out why these guys weren’t guarding the storage bins. They looked like a couple of chewed up dorks to me, and their uniforms looked more like a mechanics uniform than an actual security uniform. They did not even wear security badges. They drove around in this little Kawasaki kart that was loud and did not have doors. The kart was red and had “security” written on the back with a little strobe light on top. I thought, “WalMart must be losing a lot of money and merchandise with assholes like that guarding their store.” The night went on with no problems. Around three in the morning, some

employees came out and started unloading the storage bins, so I was no longer needed there. The other guards got off-duty hours ago, and I was the only security guard left. I walked around to the front of the store. When I got there, I noticed some people were camped out in front of the entrance. I decided to question these guys (I knew nothing of black Friday at this time). Me: Hi there, I’m security. Who are you guys and what are you doing here? Campers: We’re waiting for the doors to open of course. Don’t you know about black Friday? Me: No, what is it? Campers: It’s when the store sells everything at unbelievably low prices.

You’re the security guard, and you don’t even know what’s going on??? Me: (perplexed) Well nobody told me. The campers laughed at me, and I walked away feeling like a big dummy. I don’t usually shop at WalMart; in fact, I don’t usually shop at all with my broke ass. So how the hell am I supposed to know about “black Friday”? I sat in my car (a brand new red KIA RIO) and tried to get warmed up. I watched as more people showed up, and the line got bigger and bigger. Next thing I know, this car out of nowhere nearly crashes into the line of people by the front door. People were screaming, and this one guy

was trying to pull the driver out of the car. I got out of my car and ran up to deal with this situation. I saw that the driver was clearly drunk, and the Good Samaritan was trying to pull him out of the car. I told the Good Samaritan to back off and told the driver to hit the road. I tried to write down his license plate number, but he took off too fast, and people were getting in my way. This woman got pissed off and gave me an ear full of complaints. Lady: You’re a dumb fucking security guard! You should have arrested that man! He was drunk, and he’s probably gonna kill somebody on the road! Me: Maybe, but then again, maybe not.

Lady: Why didn’t you arrest him? Me: Because I’m a security guard not a police officer. I don’t have the authority to arrest anybody unless I actually see them commit a crime, but even then it’s only a “citizen’s arrest.” Lady: Did you not see that he was driving drunk? Me: No, I did not. He appeared to be drunk, but I don’t know for a fact that he is. I did not see any open containers in his car, and I don’t have the right to pull him out of his Vehicle. Lady: You could have at least got down his license plate and called the police! Me: I tried; you guys got in my way. In the future pulling somebody out of his or her car is very dangerous, so do

yourselves a favor and don’t do it. Lady: (Becoming more emotional) Well what if he kills somebody on the road? Me: I don’t know. What if? (I smiled) that is not my problem. Enjoy your black Friday, and please…be careful driving home. I walked away wanting to laugh; that lady probably wanted to kill me, but I don’t really care. As I walked away, I can still hear her flapping her gums. People don’t understand how security works, but they think they do. People associate you as a security guard with the police because of the badge and uniform, but you’re not a cop. You don’t have the authority to arrest people, and

pull them out of their vehicles (in fact, that would land you in some hot water). Situations like the aforementioned are tough because realistically speaking, there is little you can do, but people expect you to do so much. Even if I had called the police and gave them a full description of the guy; the chances are excellent that the cops would never find him anyways. I continued taking my break in my vehicle. I saw a manager come out of the front door, and the crowd of campers was complaining to him about me. I heard the lady yell out, “He said he doesn’t care if that drunk driver kills somebody!” I rolled my eyes in

frustration and thought, “Oh give it up lady. Nobody cares what you think!” The manager just went back inside the store. I thought that perhaps the manager will come out here and fire me, but then I thought, “So what? I’ll just go home. I do what I do, and I don’t give a fuck if I get fired.” As the time neared six a.m., more people began to show up, and it was turning into a hectic situation. There was no parking spaces open in the lot, and the line at the doors went all the way back to the street. I said to myself, “Boy, I can’t wait to go home.” People were stopping me, and asking all kinds of questions that I did not know the answer to, and what’s

worse is people were crowding in line leading to arguments. I finally got tired of the bullshit, so I started yelling out to the people in the lines (it went from loud to silent). I made them get in a single filed line, and told people that if I caught somebody crowding, I would kick them off the premises. People got in line quick, and there was no more bullshit. Then the manager appeared at the doors and waved for me to come over, “Make sure people are walking, not running in the store,” the manager said to me. “Okay, I got this,” I replied. Those doors opened up, and those people knocked me flat on my ass running past

me. I got pissed off, struggled to my feet, and grabbed the first guy I could catch running in, but he had a baby in his arms, so I let him go. The crowd came in like a hungry hoard of fast running zombies; I was still struggling with people yelling out, “Stop running!” Nobody listened, and I realized I was just in the way, so I finally said, “Fuck it,” and just got out of the way. I walked out of the store feeling defeated. The whole city of Bakersfield fighting to get in this store, and I’m the only guy fighting to get out. I wanted to leave and never, ever come back. I was standing on the sidewalk outside the front exit. This girl walked up to me;

she was a short, Hispanic female, about 30 years of age. She was wearing plain clothes with no name badges. She stood next to me and seemed as if she wanted something. We spoke briefly, and our conversation went something like this… The girl: Hi, what’s your name? Me: Ricky Thomas The girl: My name is Nicole. Me: (thinking, “I don’t really give a shit but okay.”) Hi, nice to meet you! Nicole: Do you like your job? Me: Kind of; I like whatever is stable. Nicole: This job is good; it’s stable. Me: What job is that? Nicole: WalMart security. Me: (Finally realizing that she may work here) Are you a guard?

Nicole: No, I’m In-store Loss prevention (ISLP) I’m the undercover store detective. Me: (HOLY SHIT!) Really? Wow! If I was a shoplifter I’d be busted! I never would have guessed! Nicole: Would you like to put in an application? We are hiring for a security guard. Me: (Thinking, “Hey this could be a good job.”) Yeah sure, do I turn it into you? Nicole: Yes, just turn it in to me, here is my office number. Me: Okay, thanks Nicole! I’ll turn it in soon. As I walked out of there, I saw the lady

that had complained on me earlier over the drunk driver. She and another woman were standing by her car talking to an assistant manager. I heard her say, “That guard should have tailed that drunk driver.” I did not care to argue; I just went to my car, drove home, and went straight to bed.

The Hiring Process I was kinda torn between working as a

security guard for WalMart and being a private investigator for Pearsy. I wondered if I could somehow manage both because of the simple fact that my hours with Pearsy were not stable. Sometimes Pearsy would call me to work, and sometimes he wouldn’t. That’s not good for a young man with a new car payment. I got this idea that I work both jobs, and I could use WalMart to pay my bills, and work on the side for Pearsy. I did not care about the money for being a P.I; I was really more interested in the training and experience more than the money. My long-term solutions to my financial matters were to learn private security

and investigation, and someday start my own security business. I filled out the application and went back to the store to find Nicole (I had forgotten her name). I went to the customer service desk, and asked if I could speak to the “in-store detective.” The lady behind the counter looked at me all suspicious, got on the phone and paged for her. “I need LP (loss prevention) to the service desk please.” I kinda laughed and leaned into the woman behind the counter and asked nervously, “Ah, could you tell me her name please?” “Sir, we can’t give out any information,” she replied. I knew she was gonna say that, and now she’s

really looking at me suspiciously. “I’m screwed,” I thought with disappointment. I felt I made a bad impression and, therefore, would not get the job. I kept racking my brain to remember her name, but…….ah too late, here she is. The girl came walking up and seen me, and all of this sudden, “POOF” like magic; I immediately remembered her name as soon as I saw her. I greeted her and handed her the application. She just took my application and said, “Thanks, we’ll call you.” She was acting like she was blowing me off. I thought that was a bad sign, but I figured she was probably busy chasing thieves, so I said goodbye and got the heck out of there.

Next, I went to talk to Pearsy about working at WalMart. I knocked on his door, and he said, “Come in.” Me: (Walking in) Hi Pearsy, I needed to talk to you for a minute. Pearsy: Sure, how can I help you Rick? Me: I just applied for a security position at WalMart, and I think I may start working for them very soon. I just wanted to let you know that I think I can work for both of you at the same time, and I‘d really like to be a private investigator. Pearsy: Well, I’d like to employ you as an investigator. You are one of my best guards; you’re always there when I need you, and you have good work ethics. I don’t mind you working on the side for

me. Me: Okay great! Just call whenever you need me. Pearsy: Okay Rick, I will. I kept working for Pearsy, and I heard nothing from WalMart or Nicole. A week goes by, two weeks go by, and three weeks go by, finally, a month goes by and no word. By this time, I’m thinking that perhaps they won’t hire me (maybe they don’t like military rejects). I decided to call Nicole to see what my status was. Phone: Ring! Ring! Ring! Nicole: Hello, Wal-Mart loss prevention, how may I help you? Me: (Thinking, “You can help me by

hiring me already!) Hello Nicole, this is Ricky Thomas speaking. I applied for the security position, and I was wondering about the status of my application. Nicole: Oh yeah, I remember you. We were just about to schedule you for an interview. Can you go see a security guy named “Kane” at the White Lane store on Monday at 9:00am? Me: Yes, I can do that. Nicole: You’ll need to bring your driver’s license, and a DMV print out. Me: I can do that. Thank you Nicole Nicole: No prob, goodbye. The only problem was I needed to work the nightshift Sunday night, which meant

that I would be going into the interview with no sleep. I was scheduled to work already, and I did not want to cancel either the nightshift or the interview. I had to work both, and I thought that I could; after all, I’m supposed to be working two jobs here. I worked a long, quiet nightshift for Pearsy guarding some storage facility from about 11:00pm to about 7:00am, and then I went home, showered, changed, and went for the interview at WalMart at 9:00am. I walked into the store, went to the customer service desk, and asked to speak with the Lead guard named Kane. They called him over, he walked up, and we introduced ourselves. He sits me

down at a table in the McDonald’s inside the WalMart and asked me to fill out this questionnaire. The questions were pretty straight forward, and they basically asked if you’ve ever been convicted of a felony, or if you’ve ever done illegal drugs. The Problem was that I actually had not slept in about 24 hours (I couldn’t sleep prior to my night shift). My brain was completely “fried,” and I was running on pure caffeine. I filled out the questionnaire and turned it into Kane. He took a look at it, came back and said, “Man, you need to do this thing over.” “What seems to be the problem?” I asked. “On every single question when

they ask if you’ve done this drug or that drug, you marked yes,” Kane explained. I looked at my questionnaire, and I answered yes to all the questions you definitely should say no to. I put down that I was a convicted felon who is currently on PCP, and have used cocaine, ecstasy, heroin, and all of it in the past. Kane was supposed to drop my ass right there, but he gave me a second chance. I very carefully filled out the damn questionnaire again and got the answers right this time. Kane was a little concerned, and he said, “They’re gonna make you take a drug test before you can get hired.” I explained to Kane that it’s

okay because I’ve never used any drugs before, in fact, I’ve never smoked, or drank alcohol either (it’s true). A few hours later, I was to go to a second interview, this time with the DLPS (District Loss Prevention Supervisor). This interview was at the East Hills store where I met Nicole. It was a few hours later, and I still have not slept; I drank a few cokes and was ready to go. The DLPS was a big guy who commanded respect and was obviously a “no non-sense” kind of guy. He had huge shoulders and spoke loud, deep, and stern. I knew instantly that he was a former Army soldier (I can tell). His name was Albert Ness. I knew right

away that he would ask me about my military service, and sure enough, one of the first questions he asked was, “It says here that you were in the Army for only six months; wanna explain your premature discharge?” Ness asked like he was a drill sergeant. “I failed the final fitness test of my advanced individual training, and they kicked me out,” I answered. He told me that he was in the Army for a few years, and I told him that I knew, and that I could tell. Then he asked, “What did you do in the Army?” “Infantry,” I replied. Nicole came into the office right there and asked him a question about a bad check case pending. He gave her

instructions, and then she turned to leave, and on her way out she gave me a pat on the back. Mr. Ness saw that, and when she left he asked, “Do you know her?” “Sort of, we met on Black Friday, and she encouraged me to apply.” Mr. Ness decided to hire me, and wanted me to go take the drug test. I went to go take the urine test, and I tested positive for Coca-Cola. A few days later, I got the call to come in for training; I was now a WalMart employee. About a week after I got hired at WalMart, Mr. Pearsy called me and told me that I was gonna start training for private investigations. He told me that he was gonna start taking me on stake-

outs to show me the ropes. All the sleep deprivation and hard work was now starting to pay off. I always knew I could score the P.I. Job, and now I finally did. Things were finally starting to look up for me.

Training Day I was scheduled to show up at WalMart at 9:00 am in the morning every day for the next couple of weeks. This was a training period that was required for

new guards, and the training guard is always the “lead guard.” My lead guard was a guy named Daniel, and he worked for WalMart for like seven years. He was the guard supervisor, and he gave us our schedules. I showed up wearing plain clothes,’ and Daniel got my sizes and ordered my uniforms. I then went to orientation where I watched a video that explained WalMart’s policy to prosecute all shoplifters to the fullest extent of the law. They told me that if employees steal from the store, it’s not just theft, its embezzlement, and WalMart has no mercy on employees who steal. I had to sign this insurance paper that stated I was covered for life insurance on the job for the amount of

$200,000. The next form that I signed was a pay form, in which my pay would be $9.50 per hour with an extra dollar per hour on Sundays. I signed the papers and went out to the parking lot with Daniel. Daniel was an African American male, about 5’9, and 260 lbs. He was very “street wise,” and he knew how to talk to people. He could be smooth and cool when he needed to be, but he could also be mean and stern if the situation called for it. He was always smiling, and he got along with everybody in the store, even all the customers seemed to know him. He gave me a tour around the store, and started teaching me the job.

Daniel told me that the first thing I needed to know about this job is that there is no merchandise or dollar amount in the store that is worth my life. Daniel said, “If you go to stop a shoplifter, and he or she pulls a weapon out on you, just let them go. It’s not worth you getting seriously hurt or killed over it.” Daniel further explained that WalMart will do anything in its power to keep from paying that life insurance I signed on for. For example, there was a case in another state where a guy ran out of a WalMart store with a TV without paying for it. A guard grabbed a cashier as a witness and went after him. The guy made it to his car and drove off the

property. The guard and cashier followed him in the guard’s vehicle. They stopped at a red light down the street. The thief got out of his car with a gun and shot both the guard and the cashier. The guard and cashier were both killed instantly. WalMart tried to get out of paying for their life insurance because technically they were off the property when they were killed. WalMart had to eventually pay the life insurance only because the guard’s family sued in court, and they did not want the bad publicity, so they just paid them off. Daniel took me to the security office located in the back of the store near the

receiving area and the manager’s office. He told me that I had to clock in and out in a timely manner. He explained that I had a five minute grace period for clocking in, but there would be zero tolerance for unauthorized over time. I was given a little WalMart badge that had my first name on it. The security office was small with blue wall paint. There were a bunch of security monitors that used CCTV (closed-circuit television) video cameras and VHS VCR’s. There were about 20 monitors on the wall, each camera covering a different part of the store. There were some that overlooked the parking lot, and some that watched

nearly every part inside the store. Some of the cameras were old and recorded in black and white. Most of the black and white recorders were in the parking lot. Some of the cameras were newer and recorded in color (they mostly recorded inside the store). Daniel explained to me how the security cameras worked, and told me that they had to be recording all the time. There was a daily log where you had to sign when changing the tapes, and log what time you changed them. Changing the tapes was easy, it basically involved pressing stop, eject, take out the tape, put a new one in, and then press record. When incidents occurred; we were required to eject and save the tape that covered the incident

for later review. We had to fill out an incident report when saving a tape, which included information like the date, incident, time it took place, and report number. Inside the security office, there was the security monitors on one side of the wall, a bench were shoplifters sat on the other side of the wall, and then there were two desks, a guard desk (where we sat, and did our paperwork), and the instore LP desk (where they sat to do their paperwork). There was a camera in one corner of the wall/ceiling that recorded all the activity in the office and in the other corner/ceiling there was a TV where we could watch basic cable while on our breaks. The office had a

gray carpet in it; not tile floor like all everywhere else in the store. Daniel began explaining to me about report writing procedures; he showed me all the different forms that we had to feel out in case of stuff like accidents, apprehensions, suspicious activities, or whatever. He showed me the “86” or trespass form where we make shoplifters, or unruly customers sign it acknowledging they cannot come back to WalMart, or they will be prosecuted for trespassing (we take their pictures and attach it to the forms). Daniel then took me to the front of the store to show me “the old security office.” The old security office was between the

customer service desk and the restrooms. There was a lot of junk in this area, and it was where the security office used to be, but we kept a lot of our records and stuff in there. There were also security monitors and VCR’s in the old security office. We kept the doors locked, and only authorized personnel such as security or management had the keys. The next part of my training was the notorious EAS (Electronic Article Surveillance) alarm system. The EAS is an electronic monitoring system that people walk through entering and leaving the store, and it dings a little alarm if you have tags on your

merchandise that was not deactivated at the register. All the merchandise has electronic tags on them, and when you buy them, the tags are deactivated by the cashier. If the tags are not deactivated, they set off an alarm at the door when you try to leave. The EAS alarm system is used to prevent shoplifting and is supported by a “door greeter” (an employee who stands at the door and says, “Thank you for choosing WalMart; May I see your receipt?”) Everybody has experienced the EAS alarm system at least once in their time shopping at WalMart. The alarm sounds a little siren, and a loud computer like voice says, “We’re sorry; you have activated the WalMart EAS system. Please step

back and an associate will assist you.” Most people stop when they hear that alarm and either a door greeter, manager, or cashier will check the receipt and scan the tags of the merchandise, and you walk through the door again. What people don’t know about the EAS system is most of the alarms are completely bogus. Usually the cashier forgot to scan something, or a failure on the electronic tags has occurred, and another thing is that the EAS system also can be activated by electronic items like cell phones (not just those sold in the store) or merchandise tags from other stores. For this reason, the EAS system

is not taken seriously by security, and technically we ain’t even supposed to get involved if somebody sets off the alarm. We did have a “code 89” that management wanted us to respond to. A code 89 meant that somebody is trying to steal something. Despite management wanting us to respond to them, our supervisors in security (like Daniel and Nicole) told us not to respond to code 89s’. Most of the code 89s’ was bullshit as well, mostly it was a case when a cashier forgot to scan something, the customer is in a hurry, and does not want to wait, so the customer leaves refusing to show their receipt. The reason we

were not supposed to get involved with the code 89s’ is because of what WalMart called “the four elements,” and laws pertaining to shoplifting and arrest. As a security guard, I don’t have the right to detain anybody for suspicion of shoplifting by myself. I only assist somebody like the in-store security personnel or management when they stop the person. My job was primarily to patrol the parking lot, assist customers, and be visible to act as a crime deterrent. A small part of my job was to assist management, and the ISLP with the apprehension of shoplifters. There were big penalties for stopping a customer if it turns out that he or she doesn’t have stolen merchandise. This was known as

a “bad stop.” They could basically sue you and the store for a lot of money. According to Nicole and Daniel, WalMart has suffered from such lawsuits in the past. For the in-store security, a bad stop meant instant termination regardless of how it occurred. So if you’re going to stop a suspected shoplifter, you’d better be absolutely sure the person really is stealing. The danger with apprehensions is you cannot always be 100% sure that a person is stealing. For the in-store loss prevention personnel, the whole decision to stop somebody comes down to the “four elements.” The in-store and

management needs all of the four elements to stop any person for shoplifting according to WalMart policy. The four elements are 1# selection (you have to see the shoplifter select the items off the shelf), 2# concealment (you have to see the shoplifter conceal the item on his or her person or in a bag or something), 3# 100% visual surveillance (you have to maintain complete visual surveillance on the person from the time of the theft, to the time he or she exit the store), and 4# You have to make the stop outside the store past all points of payment. According to WalMart policy, those are the four elements that management or security must have to make an

apprehension. The problem is that whoever came up with those rules or laws knows nothing about surveillance. For example, the 3rd. element is basically impossible because stores are crowded, there are obstructions of view, and shoplifters are normally out of sight at some point. So if you’re an undercover store detective, and you’re following a thief (and remember you don’t want him or her to see you) you must stay far enough back not be seen, but close enough to follow the person. Well, every time that person turns a corner, or changes direction, or walks through the clothing department, you lose sight of him or her.

Here is a dilemma, what happens if the suspected thief has concealed a very expensive item, and you’re watching the person when all of this sudden he or she goes into the restroom? You cannot legally spy on somebody in the restroom, and so you no longer have the 3rd. element (because they were out of your sight and may have dumped the item), so you have to let them go, according to the policy. Here’s another dilemma, what happens if I (the security guard) am standing inside the store at the front exit, and this guy comes walking up with a laptop from electronics department and says, “Hi, I stole this,” and walks past me

(setting off the EAS alarm) and out the door? Can I stop that guy? The answer is NO. The only thing I can do is observe, and report, but he’ll basically get away with it. “What about the security cameras?” you ask. “Does not matter,” I answer. They don’t see everything, and we cannot rely on that alone for prosecution. They had a sign in the security office that read, “When in doubt, just let them walk out.” I found myself outside the store talking with the other security guards. There was Neil, Randy, and Charlie. Charlie was a Caucasian male, about 5’8, and 150 LBS who wore an earring and had

dyed hair; he claimed to have a black belt in Ninjitsu. Neil was this tall, dorky Caucasian male who wore glasses, and always talked about fishing. Randy was a short Hispanic male, about 280 LBS, and in his 40s’ who used to be a correctional officer. I was talking to these guys, and we were getting acquainted. I thought, “These guys are a bunch of worthless dorks,” but then I thought, “Well who am I to judge? I’m a military wash-out working at WalMart.” I laughed at their retarded jokes and shook their hands; I believed that I had to get along to work well in this company. Charlie was telling me that he used his Ninjitsu skills to defeat six guys

who attacked him. I congratulated him, and told him that his talent astounds me before walking away while rolling my eyes. Charlie was the guy that I was gonna be replacing because he was transferring over to the white lane store. Charlie would only be with us for a few more days. I went to the security office for my break, and Nicole was in there. We spoke about the guy I was replacing. Our conversation went something like this… Me: (Walking in the office) Hi Nicole, how are you doing? Nicole: I’m okay, and you? Me: (Sitting at the guard desk) I’m well, I just met the other guards.

Nicole: And how did that work out for you? Me: They’re a fine bunch. I met Charlie, and he told me about his black belt in Ninjitsu, and how he once beat six guys by himself. Nicole: (Rolling her eyes) Oh please, don’t make me laugh. Charlie is a complete wimp, and he probably couldn’t even kick his own ass. He is also extremely unprofessional; we are all so glad to finally be rid of him. Me: Why? Nicole: The other day, for example, this old lady stole cigarettes, and Charlie chased her down and screamed in her face; he was real aggressive with her. But later that day, this guy was beating

his wife in the store, and Charlie would not confront him; he was paralyzed with fear. I had to drag the wife beater out of the store by myself. Me: Wow. After my break, I went back outside to train more with Daniel. He continued taking me around showing me things, and he introduced me to everybody. We talked more about the four elements, and we did patrol, and at the end of the day we did our daily activity logs, and I clocked off and went home.

My first shoplifting case I spent a portion of my evenings preparing myself for the kind of work that I do. I took martial arts lessons at one of the best martial arts academy’s in Bakersfield. The school I went to taught Kung fu, Jiu-Jitsu, and kickboxing. I took all three, and I sometimes attended all three classes every evening.

Sometimes I’d do a five-mile run prior to class. After running I’d do bag work, focus mitt drills and sometimes sparring matches after class. I got really good at the kickboxing and Jiu-jitsu, but I was having trouble advancing in Kung fu. In my perception, Kung fu is a really dirty art of fighting. They’d teach us stuff like to use a technique called “eagle claw” to rip somebody’s eyes out, but I doubt I actually could do that unless my life really depended on it. I got my ass whooped pretty damn good a few times during those God forsaken sparring sessions. The motto in this martial arts academy was, “The more you sweat in the gym, the less you bleed on the

streets.” I sure hope that was true because I’ve been working for WalMart for a week, and I have not seen one shoplifter, and I had no idea what to expect. I was now home from the gym and taking a much needed shower, but I was still thinking about what kind of person I was gonna run into at WalMart. Questions went through my mind like “would he fight, will they have a weapon, and especially, could I handle it.” According to the training I did (the little video and talking to Nicole and Daniel), most shoplifters when caught are frightened, embarrassed, and apologetic. Despite the reassuring statistics, you still hear

stories, like that guard and cashier that was shot and killed during the pursuit of a shoplifter. I’d fall asleep thinking about stuff like that. The next day, I was standing in front of the store near the exit when I heard the EAS alarm going off. I looked back to see what was happening out of curiosity, and I saw this guy; he had this bag and was walking out despite the door greeter calling out to him “Sir, Sir, I need you to come back here!” The man ignored the door greeter and kept walking out of the store and past me. He was a White male, wearing a hat and glasses, and he was taller than I was. I did not say anything to him because technically I’m

not supposed to. The door greeter anxiously shouted, “Security,” and was pointing him out to me. I feel compelled to do something, even though I know I should just turn the cheek and keep my mouth shut. I smiled at the guy and politely said, “Sir, the door greeter would like to speak to you.” “Ah fuck you! And Fuck her too!” The man impatiently replied as he hurriedly walked away. I could tell he wasn’t a thief; like most code 89s’ the cashier forgot to scan something, and he’s in a hurry to leave. The door greeter looked at me and acted shocked and appalled at my inaction. “There’s nothing I can do,” I explained to her. “Then what the hell good are you security guys?” she asked

in frustration as she turned around going back inside the store. I stood there, and scratched my head while I pondered that question. I knew what that woman failed to understand is that without guys like me, every criminal in town would be robbing this place, and she would have a lot more problems than she does now. I went on my break and got a soda from the break room. I get a call on my radio, “Security, we got an apprehension. Please meet management at the LP office.” “Oh wow, we got one,” I thought with excitement. I canceled my break and went to the LP office. This assistant manager was escorting the shoplifting suspect back to the LP office,

and we both arrived there at the same time. The shoplifting suspect was a White female, about mid to late 30s, short, and maybe 135 LBS. She was wearing a 49ners jacket and had blond hair with blue eyes. The woman was crying hysterically saying, “Oh P-L-EA-S-E don’t do this! I didn’t mean to do it! I don’t wanna go to jail!” I opened the door, and the assistant manager showed the suspect into the security office. I told her to have a seat on the bench, and she did. She looked around the office; her face distorted with fear, dread, and sadness. The woman was totally hysterical, crying and shaking. She begged the assistant manager (her name was Tammy) not to call the

police. But Tammy would hear none of it, (Tammy was really mean) “Shut up,” Tammy demanded standing over the frightened woman with her hands on her hips. I looked at Tammy and thought, “She should not be talking to her like that; the poor thing is scared enough as it is.” I started preparing the trespass forms and got out the Polaroid camera. This sales floor associate (a guy named “Ron”) who worked in electronics department had the woman’s purse in his hands, and he was taking out this phone she apparently took out of the box and put in her purse. Tammy and Ron started asking the suspect questions about where she put the box to the phone (if they

don’t know that; they obviously don’t have all of the four elements). The woman denied taking the phone, and continued to plead with Tammy. Their conversation went like this… Tammy: Where did you put the box to the phone at? Suspect: I did not mess with the box. The phone must have fallen out of the box and into my purse without me noticing it. Yes, she really said that. Ron: Come on lady, you’re seriously trying to tell us that the phone somehow fell out of its box and into your purse without you noticing? Do you know

what the odds are of that actually happening? I’d like to have those odds when I play the lottery. Tammy: (Yelling with rage in her eyes) DON’T LIE TO ME, OR YOU’LL PISS ME OFF EVEN MORE!! Suspect: Oh please!!! I swear I didn’t mean to do it! Tammy: Shut up and listen. I am very busy, and I need to get back to work. I need you to tell me where you put the box to the phone, that way I can put the phone back in the box, put the box back on the shelf, and sell it, and make a profit. If you tell me where the box is, I’ll let you go without calling the cops, and you’ll be free, FREE TO GO DO YOUR THEIVING AT K-MART OR

TARGET! Suspect: I don’t know what happened, but I think the box must have fallen in the clothing department. The conversation ended with that. Ron left the LP office to retrieve the box while I took the woman’s picture, and had her sign the trespass form. I explained to her that after this, she can no longer come back to WalMart. They found the box and put the phone back in the box, and put the box back on the shelf. The woman had started to calm down, and things were quiet in the office. Tammy sat at the LP desk doing the paper-work, and I stood by the security monitors. Ron had gone back to

the electronics department. All of this sudden, there was a loud knock at the security office door. I opened the door, and two police officers came walking in; I didn’t even know they called them. The woman became hysterical again, she started shouting, “Oh no! But you said that I could go!” Tammy did not reply to her. An officer walked up to the suspect and said, “Stand up.” She stood up, and he started asking her questions like if she had any weapons or anything illegal on her. The other officer talked to Tammy and was getting her info. I stood there looking down as I wondered if I should leave and go back to my patrol now. The woman was kinda lucky; the dollar amount of the phone was small. The

cops basically read her the Miranda rights, and asked her if she wanted to tell them her side of the story, and she said no. They wrote her a ticket and made her sign it, and it basically says she promises to appear in court for this incident. After that, they let her go, and I escorted her off the property. I resumed my patrol thinking about what had just gone down. You see, what apparently happened is Ron saw the woman putting the phone in her purse, and notified Tammy, who caught up to her and stopped her outside the front exit. Tammy did not have the four elements and technically the woman should have been allowed to walk, but

she did not. The LP and security are really strict over having all of the four elements to the best of their ability before they make a stop. The management, on the other hand, they’re very arrogant, and they don’t care about the four elements; they will stop anybody over anything. Any lawyer worth his or her salt probably could get that shoplifting case dropped like a bad habit in a New York second, but it is unlikely this lady has a lawyer like that. Most people when they get stopped don’t know about the four elements, or the law, or what their rights are in such a situation. Now I’m not a lawyer, I don’t know the

law that well, and I’m certainly not trying to give anybody any legal advice. All I’m saying is that in the world of shoplifting apprehensions, things don’t go down the way they’re supposed to. It can be beneficial to do a little research to find out what the applicable laws are in your city, county, or state just in case such a situation occurs.

My day-to-day routine After my training period was over with Daniel, my schedule changed from nine to five (Daniel’s shift), to 2:00pm to 11:00pm. We got like an hour for lunch

and a couple of 15 minute breaks. WalMart security was making some changes; first we got rid of Charlie (aka chicken Charlie by the cashiers), and we got rid of the little Kawasaki Kart we drove around. We now had a Chevrolet security vehicle with a strobe light on top of it. We guards exchanged the key when we took our lunches, and the vehicle was supposed to be moving all the time. We were busting shoplifters on a regular basis now, and I saw all kinds of crazy stuff (I’d never be able to fit all the stories in one book). One night, this African American male about 6’1, maybe 200 LBS, and homeless looking came into the store to return an item. He walked up to the customer service desk

and handed the cashier a PS2 box, and claimed he bought it from our store, but lost his receipt. The cashier asked why he was returning it, and he said it does not work. The cashier asked him if he wants to exchange the item, and he said no; he just wanted a cash refund. So the Cashier starts trying to open the box (which is stapled shut), and the guy interrupts her, “No, you don’t need to open it,” he says. The cashier told the guy she needed to check out the item first and got a pair of scissors and opened up the box. She took out the contents, and it was an old paperback book with wires attached to it. The cashier looked at the guy in disbelief and said, “Sir I can’t

accept this.” The guy just stands there for a second in silence, and then he grabbed the stuff out of the cashier’s hands and took off running out of the store. A few minutes later, I was on vehicle patrol and got a call about a code 89 at the customer service desk. I responded out of courtesy because I was the only security guy on duty. I talked to the cashier, and she told me what happened. “Well, there really is no way we can identify the guy, so it’s almost useless to bother the cops with this. If this guy comes back, be sure to tell him to get off that crack,” I told the cashier. I walked away laughing and thinking that it must

be a full moon out. These things did not impress me anymore because I was seeing it so much on a day-to-day basis. The parking lot wasn’t no joke either; there were all kinds of interesting things going down in the parking lot. For instance, this one night, I was on patrol, and I observed this car that was parked in the back of the parking lot. I noticed it was kind of bouncing, but nobody appeared to be inside. I dismounted the security vehicle with my flashlight to investigate. As I approached the front passenger window, I observed a man on top of a woman in the front driver seat with the seat pulled all the way down, and they were having sex. They did not stop either, or at least he didn’t, he just

kept going and going like the damn energizer bunny. It’s so hard for me to know what to do in these situations. Should I get back in my security vehicle and let sleeping dogs lie, or should I break up this Kodak moment? I knocked on the window with my flashlight, and I looked the other way as the guy got off the girl. The guy rolled down the window and said, “Yes?” “Sir, I’m sorry to bother you, but you guys are gonna have to leave,” I replied. The guy said, “Okay.” I returned to my security vehicle and watched as they left the parking lot. I did not write a report about the

aforementioned incident for a couple of reasons; one, I was too lazy, and two, I really didn’t care. Car accidents and burglaries were the worst part of my job, and yes they happen A LOT. Car burglaries happen mostly at night, and there are always accidents and “Fender benders” no matter day or night. People wave us down, complaining of the other driver, or that somebody broke into their vehicle. I’ve seen shattered windows, stereos ripped out, and valuables taken. We get the camera, take pictures of the damages, and write reports. Sometimes we go back and check the security tapes to find out what happened, but I’ll be honest with you. I don’t know what kind of surveillance systems WalMart

uses today, but back then they used CCTV and CCTV is worthless. You can barely see the back of the parking lot, and usually at night you can’t see jack shit. I remember this one guy who parked his car way in the back of the parking lot one night, and somebody broke into his car and stole some valuables, (I don’t remember exactly what they were). He wanted me to show him the security tapes, so he could see who did it and take further actions. I explained to him that we don’t let anybody watch our tapes except authorized personnel, or law enforcement. I explained to the guy that I could check the tapes and preserve the

tape for him as evidence, and that he could file a police report. I also explained to him that the tapes are likely worthless because of the poor image quality of CCTV surveillance systems. Then he wanted WalMart to pay for the damages to his vehicle, and loss of his valuables because it occurred on our property. I almost busted out laughing when he started demanding compensation. I explained to him that he had a better shot at winning the super lotto than he did at getting compensated from WalMart. People said I was crazy; they described me as “demented,” a sort of “mad security guard” who was always

walking around laughing for no apparent reason, or laughing at the most inappropriate times. I disagree; I was actually serious, quiet and mostly kept to myself. I do have a very dark sense of humor, and I did get some kicks out of these people at WalMart, so perhaps I was a little bit of both. My lunch breaks were the highlight of my shift. I was normally alone when I took my breaks, and the office was nice and quiet. I ate my food in peace, and I enjoyed being alone as I am a complete hermit. I gained some weight at WalMart because I was not training as much (now I’m working evenings), and I was always eating fast food or take out. I still trained at least twice a week, however,

but it was tough managing training and my two jobs. Staying sharp through training was very important to me because I never knew what to expect from my job at the giant retailer. Another thing that commonly happened in the parking lot was bickering and fighting over parking spaces, (they were always women). Fights would break out because somebody would be waiting for a parking spot, and somebody else would take it real quick. One time these two young girls confronted this older lady over such a dispute. The older lady called the two girls “a couple of

tramps,” and the fight was on. They were fighting ferociously, and the older lady beat the shit out of the both of them! Antonio came on duty at 10:00pm; he was the night guard who worked from 10:00pm to 7:00am. At this time, WalMart stayed open all night long, and most of the really crazy incidents went down during the night shift. Antonio was a crazy security guard. He was a tough Hispanic kid from a broken home who learned the harsh realities of survival and criminal life at a very early age. He was more like a criminal than a security guard. Antonio went to great lengths to get the job done. One time,

some thieves stole something and took off in a pick-up truck; Antonio jumped in the back of the pick-up truck as they tried to speed away. No matter how big and bad the guy was, Antonio would take him on. Antonio was one of the most honorable and hardworking guys I know despite his troubled past. He knew and got along with everybody he encountered (except for bad guys of course). Antonio was the complete opposite to the other guards I worked with in the mornings. Randy usually came in at nine in the morning, and he was a lazy piece of shit. All he did was stand in front of the store, no changing tapes, no patrol,

nothing. Neil was the same way, sometimes he worked similar hours to Randy. I’d come in around 2:00pm, and the first thing I saw was Neil and Randy hanging out in front of the store, laughing, eating hot dogs, and having a grand time. I’d clock in and check the tapes, and I was shocked to discover that there was no video surveillance coverage for the whole store because the tapes stopped rolling at 9:00 am, and nobody bothered to change them. So for like the last five hours we had no video coverage. I walked out of the store and approached Neil and Randy who were still standing in front of the store; they were talking about fishing. Neil handed me the key to the patrol vehicle without

me even saying anything and said, “Here you go.” I asked them if there was enough gas in the vehicle, (to see if they had been patrolling), and they both said, “I don’t know; we have not driven it.” I knew these guys were a bunch of worthless assholes the moment I laid eyes on them. As I walked to the security vehicle, I thought, “I might as well be out here by myself.” I did patrol, driving up and down the parking lot and around the store. Neil and Randy usually stayed side-by-side at the front. They’d walk a little bit but not much. I swear they’d “date walk” like a couple strolling the beach, and never did shit (unless they absolutely had to). I felt

they should both be fired immediately.

The silent professional Nicole was listening to her favorite song “Hungry like the wolf” by Duran Duran while driving to work one breezy, cloudy Monday morning. She sipped a Mocha Frappuccino from Starbucks as she pulled into the parking lot. Nicole has been an in-store loss prevention associate for many years, and she was literally one of the best in the business. She was often tasked with training new loss prevention associates, and she worked very hard. There is nothing else Nicole would rather do. She is an educated woman; she had earned an Associate’s degree from Bakersfield

College and a Bachelor’s degree from Cal-State University. Nicole was a very intelligent young lady, and she had other options for a career, but she truly enjoys her job. Nicole walked into the store wearing plain clothes and no name badges; she blended in with the customers. She walked through the store checking everybody out. Nicole was very subtle but extremely powerful. She rarely spoke, but she was always listening. She walked to the back of the office and clocked in for duty. Nicole was sitting at her desk in the LP office. It was the beginning of her shift, and she sat there in silence thinking about her life, and especially, her

childhood. Her eyes cringed upon inner reflections of her life as a troubled child. Nicole was haunted by many sad things that happened in her past. She was short, thin, and she wasn’t real strong, but she had this uncontrollable rage inside of her that burned like a forest fire. Most people around her didn’t know it, but this girl was full of rage and fury. Despite her intense internal anger, Nicole was pleasant to talk to, she was nice, and she had a good sense of humor. She hid that anger so well that few people ever noticed it. She was WalMart’s secret weapon against shoplifters; she was a silent professional.

There aren’t a lot of books out there that talk about in-store detectives or loss prevention associates, but I’ll tell you about them. They have flexible work schedules; they come and go as they please (unless otherwise instructed). They are well trained in in-store surveillance tactics, apprehension techniques, report writing procedures, and they often go to court to testify against the people they busted. I don’t know what it’s like in the rest of the stores, but at WalMart the in-store LP associates are in a real “kill or be killed” environment. The reason for that is because the ISLP associates must bust a certain amount of shoplifters every

month, and if they don’t, they will lose their jobs. So when these in-store detectives are on the floor hunting for shoplifters, they’re hunting like their jobs depend on it because it literally does. That’s why in-store detectives will sometimes bend the rules a little to bust somebody. People rarely question them; in fact, management doesn’t even question them. In the dog eat dog world of retail security and violent criminals, Nicole was the best in the business. Many aspects of loss prevention give people some thrills. Most LP associates get their thrills and kicks from the confrontation that occurs in the apprehension process. Nicole gets her

thrills from not the apprehension, but from the hunt. Nicole loves to stalk unsuspecting thieves. She’s like a predator on the prowl that gets a surge of adrenaline rush from the sight of her prey. For Nicole, it’s not the thrill of the kill; it’s the thrill of the hunt. When she sees a person stealing, her adrenaline starts running. Nicole was scary good at surveillance. She could stalk somebody for hours and hours inside a store, and they’d never even know she was there; she was like a fucking ghost! Subtle, silent, precise, and focused; she could sneak up on ANYBODY. The managers and assistant managers would all carry walkie talkies on a belt clip. They used the walkie talkies to communicate with

each other and security. As a little joke, Nicole would actually sneak up on the managers (both inside and outside the store) and take their walkie talkies off their belts without them noticing! She’d laugh when they got that “oh shit” look on their faces. That was how sneaky she was. It was a normal day at WalMart. Women browsed the clothing department, men were checking out the big screen TVs, Kids were in the toys aisle, and Nicole was walking the floor. She may as well be invisible; people just didn’t notice her. Nicole’s eyes locked onto this man in the sporting goods department. His head was doing

a rapid swivel, and he just seemed nervous. Sure enough, this guy was taking merchandise off the shelves, and putting them in his pockets. He looked around to see if anybody was watching him; he didn’t see anybody. He walked around the sporting goods department looking for more stuff to steal. He thought he was alone, he thought nobody could see him, but he was wrong. This guy was huge! A white male about 6’2 and 250 LBS, he was wearing a black jacket. Nicole followed this guy as he walked down the aisle and went into the garden center. She thought he might be leaving, so she called for the security guards to meet her at the garden center exit. There was little time, the man was

leaving now, and she had to do something. Nicole is a little concerned about making an apprehension alone with a suspect of this size, but she really didn’t care that much. Upon walking out the garden center door, the man was confronted by a short, thin, Hispanic female who identified herself as “loss prevention.” He was stunned, but he looked around and noticed she was alone. He blew her off; “Ah fuck you bitch,” he said as he turned to leave. Nicole grabbed him by his arm and said, “You’re not leaving.” The guy turned around and pushed her back off him with great force. Nicole got really pissed off and charged the guy. She

tackled him so fast and so hard that one of his shoes came off as he violently clashed with the asphalt. The man hit her a couple of times, but this only seemed to piss her off even more. She hit him back and tried to twist his arm back, but he was too strong for that. The two fought violently as passing motorists stopped and honked their horns, and people stood there in shock. By the time the security guards came running up, Nicole already had the guy in handcuffs. The merchandise he stole was all over the ground. The security guards were picking up the stolen items as Nicole walked the suspect back inside the store. One the way back inside, Nicole saw the suspect’s shoe on the ground.

She held one of his arms and bent over to pick up the shoe. As she picked up the shoe, the suspect said, “Now put my fucking shoe back on bitch!” “Shut up you idiot,” Nicole replied as she continued to walk him. The suspect got this arrogant little smirk on his face, and he spit at Nicole. Without warning or hesitation, Nicole smacked him across the face with his own shoe! She hit him so hard that his knees buckled, and he staggered a little bit. “Do it again! See what happens!” Nicole screamed as the shoe-smacking literally wiped that arrogant smirk off his face. The suspect didn’t spit on her or anybody else anymore; people were pointing at him

and laughing. Nicole walked the suspect back to the LP office. She had the security guards in the office with her. The suspect sat on the bench cuffed, stuffed, red, and embarrassed. What can you expect from a big guy who just got beat down by a girl? The security guards stood over the suspect chuckling at him; perhaps it was the partial shoe impression on the side of his face. There was a sudden gentle knock at the LP office door. Nicole scooted her chair over and opened the door. An associate from electronics stood there and said, “I think these girls are stealing in the electronics department.” “Come in,” Nicole said as

she stood up and turned on the monitor to the electronics department. “Which ones’?” Nicole asked. The electronics department associate pointed out these two African American girls and said, “Those two.” Nicole walked out the LP office and went over to the electronics department. She started watching the two suspects. The two suspects were in their early twenties. One of them was wearing black pants, a pink shirt, and she had these really big, round earrings. The other girl wore this black jacket, and a fanny pack. The girls in question were, in fact, stealing. There was no shame in their game; Nicole watched them stock

all kinds of stuff wherever it would fit. Nicole knew this was gonna be a high dollar bust, but she forgot her radio and could not call the guards. The two suspects walked out the front exit and were confronted by Nicole. These girls looked at Nicole with this, “Are you fucking kidding me” look on their faces. These two suspects did not know who they were messing with; they foolishly decided that they weren’t going down without a fight. The girls started hitting Nicole in an attempt to “jump her.” Nicole slammed the one with the jacket to the ground as the other girl hit her repeatedly in the back. Nicole then turned to the second suspect, and those two started fighting hard! The suspect

grabbed Nicole by her hair and started hitting her in the face; Nicole grabbed the suspects really big, round earrings and violently ripped them out of her ears! Moments later, the door of the LP office swung open and Nicole hauled these two African American girls in. One of the girls was bleeding profusely, and they were both crying. Nicole said nothing as she sat at her desk and started filling out the paperwork on the shoplifting suspects. One of the female suspects cried out as she held onto her ears, “Oh my God, it hurts so bad!” Nicole said, “Get her a couple of napkins or something. I don’t want her bleeding all

over my bench.” The guard just did what Nicole asked (even the security guards were afraid of her). A short time later, the police finally arrived and took the suspects to jail. The security guards went back outside to do their patrol. Nicole got the remote and turned on the TV. She flipped through the channels. She started out the day thinking about all the bad stuff that happened in her life, and she became angry. During the incidences with the shoplifters, her rage had reached a bowling point; she couldn’t think straight. Busting those shoplifters provided her with a sort of emotional release of that anger. Now Nicole feels incredibly mellow. She sat in the chair and put her feet up on her

desk. She was watching her favorite show “Star Trek,” and she just felt remarkably relaxed.

Chico, the one that got away Pearsy called me and told me that he wanted to start training me in private investigations. I jumped at the opportunity, and soon found myself on my first stake out. We were watching this guy, who was supposedly cheating on his wife. The guy lived in an apartment complex, and we were parked in the front parking lot, just waiting for

him to leave so we could follow him and see where he was going. Pearsy was driving, and his assistant “Anna” was in the front passenger seat. I sat in the back while Pearsy explained to me about how to do this job. Pearsy: The three rules of private investigation are 1# always have a pretext, 2# always be casual, and 3# never tell the truth about anything. A pretext means something that conceals your true intentions. You need to have a bullshit story handy to tell people about who you’re spying on and why before you even go on a stakeout because you’ll almost always get questioned. Rule 2# always be casual means just that.

Always act as if you belong where you are, don’t do anything to attract attention to yourself. For instance, let’s suppose you’re doing a job that requires a disguise. Amateurs put on wigs, phony beards, noses, and this is a mistake because people will see right through such silly disguises, and you’ll only attract more attention to yourself. For a disguise just put on a baseball cap, and some sunglasses, and you’ve covered your face, and you look like an ordinary guy. Rule 3# never tell the truth about anything. You got to lie in this job because deceiving people is what being a PI is all about. You gotta protect yourself, the client, and the company you work for.

Me: How do I follow subjects without being seen? Pearsy: I’m glad you asked. Before conducting a surveillance, always contact your local police department; give them the make and model of your vehicle, identify yourself, and tell them that you’re a P.I, what you’re doing, and where. Then think of a pretext like we talked about. When you do the surveillance, remember casual is key. Be still, and watch carefully. Always record your observations on a camera. Remember, movement attracts attention. So if your subject comes out, gets in his car, and drives past you, what would you do? Me: (unsure of what to say) I’d duck?

Pearsy: No, that is way too much movement, and it’s not casual, and I’ll guarantee you he’d see that. You just stare straight ahead as he drives by. As a matter of fact, here he comes now… Our subject was coming out of his apartment, and we watched (and recorded) as he got into his vehicle. Sure enough, the subject drove past us, and we all sat very still and stared straight ahead, but looked at him with peripheral vision. Pearsy was right; he never even glanced at us as he drove by! Pearsy started the vehicle and went after the subject; he drove carefully, and was so far back that I thought he might

lose the guy. “What happens if you lose him?” I asked. “You will lose your subjects occasionally; it happens, and it’s okay,” Pearsy replied. “All you do is stay far enough back directly behind him, so he likely won’t spot you, but close enough that you can follow him. Never do anything stupid like running a red light to catch up to a subject,” Pearsy warned.” “What happens if it’s something really important, and you can’t afford to lose him?” I asked. “Sometimes it can’t be helped. I used to be a police detective, and one time we had a three vehicle surveillance team following a suspect on the ground, and a helicopter following him in the sky, and yet we still somehow lost him,” Pearsy

explained. Pearsy looked at me in the rear view mirror and said, “Just keep in mind, its better losing your subject than to be spotted because if you lose him, you can always pick it up later, but if you get spotted, you gotta go back in a different vehicle or something.” Pearsy further explained to me that surveillance is more of an art form than a science, and that I would just have to do it a few times to get good at it. I felt excited at the opportunity to do surveillance but stressed at the trial and error period that was to come. We tailed this guy for a few hours, but nothing important was going down, so Pearsy terminated the surveillance, and I

went home just in time to get ready for work at WalMart. These were the days when I truly enjoyed my job, and I actually could not wait to get to work. The work I did was unusual, interesting, and dangerous, and I liked that. While I was conducting surveillance out on the street, Nicole was conducting her own surveillance inside the store. She had been following a Hispanic male, about 35 years of age for about three hours. He was acting very suspicious and was doing counter surveillance techniques. He would turn corners and double back around the corner to see if he could spot anybody following or watching him (typical behavior of experienced or even professional shoplifters). Try as this

guy may, he never could spot Nicole (she was smarter and more experienced than he was). She was on him for hours, and he never even seen her! Right about this time, I was clocking in, and preparing to head out to the parking lot. I met up with Neil; he and I were the only guards on duty. Meanwhile, back in the store, this suspicious asshole finally decided to make his move, he took a PlayStation out of electronics, and said he’d pay for it up front. Then he walked around the registers and walked up to the customer service desk like he just came in. Neil and I were standing in front of the store and talking when we heard

Nicole’s voice over the radio….”We have a Hispanic male, wearing a brown jacket at the customer service desk, and we need to make the apprehension now,” Nicole explained over the radio. Me and Neil immediately walked into the store; I saw the guy standing at the customer service desk. We locked eyes as I walked into the store, and he had this scared but crazy look in his eyes. My adrenaline started going up because I knew right away this guy was going to be trouble. Nicole approached him from behind, and identified herself as In-store Loss Prevention, and we took the guy into the old security office next to the customer service desk. He was cooperative but visibly nervous. Nicole

started asking him questions, and he pretended as if he could not speak English. I’m a little confused because I originally thought that we only make the stops outside the store. But this was a special case with special circumstances. You see, this guy had been planning this thing for at least a week. He apparently went through the trash, and parking lot to look for discarded receipts before he found one for the dollar amount that he wanted. It was a purchase for a PlayStation, and he would go in the store, take one off the shelf, and simply wait in line to return it for cash at the customer service desk (one of the oldest

tricks in the book, but if you do it correctly it works). You see in this case because we know he is obviously trying to defraud us, we make the apprehension as soon as he gets the money. Nicole and I are standing in the doorway to the office, and Neil is standing behind this guy inside the office. Nicole is arguing with this guy, and she told him, “I saw you take that item off of our shelf, so I know the receipt you have is bullshit.” The guy just kept saying, “No speaky English.” Neil was standing behind this guy chuckling to himself, but this guy was looking around the room until he locked eyes on this pair of scissors on a nearby desk. Nicole

quickly grabbed the scissors and tossed them out of his reach before he could go for it. Nicole looked at me and said, “Get ready because this guy is gonna try something.” As soon as she said that this guy bum rushed us! He attacked me and Nicole because we were standing in his way, but we fought back trying to push him back into the office. I grabbed his right arm with an “over hook grip” (an old Jiu-Jitsu technique designed to give me control and prevent punching) and forced him back using my forearm to his neck. Nicole had the guy by his collar and was trying to throw him to the ground, but he was too strong for that. Neil merely grabbed the guy’s leg and started pulling it back. Between the

three of us, we wrestled him to the ground, but he grabbed onto Nicole and was holding on to her. I mounted on his back (another Jiu-Jitsu technique) and began working a “rear naked choke.” Then dumb ass Neil pulled my leg instead of his and almost pulled me off him. “Oops sorry Rick,” Neil said. “That’s okay,” I replied as I climbed back onto this punk and started trying to get the rear naked Choke again. He had Nicole’s leg and would not let her go, and I was concerned that he may try to bite her (yes they do that sometimes). I screamed at him to “let go,” but he would not, so I got the choke and applied pressure. He let go of her quick

at that point, and I released the pressure but kept the position. I soon transitioned to the knee on back position, and Nicole handcuffed him. She gave me a pat on the back as soon as she got the handcuffs on. All the customers up front saw this thing go down, and we walked this guy back in handcuffs in front of everybody. His head was hung low, and everybody was looking at us. Once we got this piece of shit in the LP office, we sat him down, and he looked like he was a little pissed off. He sat handcuffed with his hands behind his back and started talking shit. He snarled at me and called me a “Chico.” I’m not a Spanish speaker, but I think Chico

means “kid.” I did not respond to him. He called Nicole a “fucking whore.” We were now all standing in front of him. The thief kept up with his taunts and rants, “Get a good look at my face because I’m gonna come back and kill you,” the thief said. Yeah, he speaks English all of this sudden. “Wrong! You’re gonna be too busy getting booty robbed by the booty bandit on D-Block,” I replied. Nicole and Neil started laughing, and the guy suddenly spit at Nicole. The spit landed on Nicole’s shoe, and she just lifted her foot up and wiped it off on his shirt. The thief became enraged and began shouting, “You fucking bitch!!” I had tolerated

enough of this bullshit, so I leaned in to him and said, “Hey Chico, the next time you spit, or yell, I’m gonna kick you in your ugly fucking face so hard!” He knocked off his bullshit, and the police showed up a little later. Once the cops got there, I left Neil and Nicole in the office and went to the McDonald’s to get a coke. So I’m sitting in there and drinking a coke when I see the officers escorting Chico out of the store. I was shocked and appalled to see that Chico was not wearing handcuffs. I watched as the officers turned him loose in the front of the store, and he just walked away. I went back to the LP office and Nicole

was in there talking to Neil. Apparently, they had to let the guy go on a technicality, but he did not get the money or the PlayStation. I couldn’t believe it; the guy was clearly trying to defraud us, and he even assaulted me and Nicole, and made threats, but we had to let him go. I don’t remember what the technicality was, and I don’t remember much about what Nicole was telling me (I did not understand in the first place). I remember this thief as “Chico, the one who got away.” It is against WalMart policy to intentionally use a choke hold in the apprehension of a violent shoplifting subject. We security guards are

unarmed (we don’t even have pepper spray). It’s a tough decision to make, but some of these shoplifters are, in fact, violent criminals, and they will really hurt you if you don’t have some kind of an edge. You must defend yourself and your fellow employees as much as possible. Some desperate criminals will bite you when you have them down, and that is a bio-hazard (no telling what diseases they may have). You gotta prevent that before it ever happens. In this case, I felt the choke was necessary to prevent Nicole from being bit by the suspect. I applied minimal force with the choke, and when the suspect stopped fighting I released the pressure.

Here’s the thing, I mentioned the stuff about surveillance in the beginning of this story because it’s important. The thing that most people don’t understand about surveillance is that even highly trained and well equipped professionals (such as law enforcement and private investigators) will lose sight of their subjects occasionally; it happens a lot! If a three vehicle surveillance team on the ground, combined with the efforts and benefit of a helicopter in the air will lose a sight of a subject, then what are the chances that some store detective at WalMart will maintain 100% visual on a subject in a store? Maintaining 100% visual on your subject is one of the four

elements, but it’s nearly impossible to do. In such cases, the In-Store Loss Prevention agent will lose their subject for a while then see him or her later; make the stop anyways, and just say that they were on them the whole time.

The Two Girls and the Gift Cards Maria and Lori were cashiers who worked at our store. I did not really know them very well; they were both

young and very pretty. Maria had this beautiful curly dark hair and Lori had blonde hair and blue eyes. They were close friends who took their breaks together, and hung out after work. Maria had a young boy at a very early age, and was a single mother busting her ass working at WalMart to pay the bills. Lori was this really smart blonde who came from a nice middle-class family and was attending college. She did not have any kids, but she had this boyfriend that she was seeing, and apparently the relationship was getting kind of serious. The guy Lori was seeing was a real piece of garbage. I heard he was like a few years older than she was, no job, no college, no money, no car, no life, and

frankly, I can’t see what a nice girl like her wanted with an insect like him. Oh yeah, that’s right! It must be the notorious “bad boy complex.” I saw Lori coming and going; she appeared to have everything under control. Lori always dressed very well and drove a bad ass brand new car. I saw her boyfriend a couple of times; he was tall, kind of buff, long hair, tattoos, looking like a rock star. Lori and Maria were smart, funny, popular, and hardworking girls who got along with everybody. Maria came from a broken home but was making the best of a bad situation. She never really got to know her dad, and met him like twice

on the streets. Her mom was half crazy; she ran her house with an iron fist. Maria had a baby when she was only 17 years old and was now 19 and working at WalMart. Her baby’s father had left, forsaking her, and the baby and was not even paying child support. Maria received public assistance, but that and her job was not enough money, and she was devastated that her child would grow up without a father like she did. During the dark and gloomy days of these girls’ lives, they had each other. They backed each other up and would do anything in the name of forever friendship. Nobody knows where these girls got the

idea to steal from WalMart (I think it was Lori’s boyfriend’s idea myself), but they would soon devise a plan to steal thousands of dollars from WalMart in the form of gift cards. You never would have guessed; they were like model employees who worked extremely hard, and Lori (besides a dead beat boyfriend) seemed to have everything in the world going for her. Never-the-less, these girls would soon get mixed up in a very, very silly plot that would change their lives forever. Everybody has financial problems. I had a credit card and was struggling with the whole payday loans thing, and I had two jobs. My father makes damn

good money, and even he has issues. On the outward appearance, these girls looked like everything in their lives was just perfect, but they both had issues as well. Even movie stars get into trouble over tax issues, or have mansions foreclosed. Not everybody resorts to stealing, fraud, or embezzlement. Who can say what goes on in the mind of people who steal; I’ve seen hundreds of them, and I could not even tell you what makes them tick. The tragedy occurs when you have two girls like Maria and Lori, both like 19, 20 years old, with their whole lives ahead of them, and they make a terrible mistake that few people understand.

Management had notified loss prevention that some of the numbers from the registers was not adding up, and they had some very suspicious transactions. There was a relatively low dollar amount, but it was starting to add up. Now I don’t know all of the details because I was not involved in the internal investigation. Nicole handled the internal investigation. She and some of the members of management were watching these two girls very closely. The issue was some gift cards; apparently, the gift cards were loaded, but there were no payments for them. So far, the girls had $3,000 on these cards altogether. They started off small and

were just loading small amounts and started getting bolder; eventually loading more money all the time. Apparently, this had been going on for weeks. I walked into the office and Nicole sat glued to one of the monitors; watching one of the registers, and she kept rewinding it and playing it back, over and over again. “What’s happening Nicole?” I asked casually. Nicole told me what was going down, and I looked at the screen. The cashier she was watching was Lori, and the guy buying some items I swear was her boyfriend, and I told Nicole that. I could not see his face, but the body type and the long hair looked very familiar. “Yeah, I see her coming and going and sometimes she

has this guy with her,” I said. Looking back at this incident, I don’t know how the girls thought they could get away with all of this stuff. I think Lori’s boyfriend asked Lori to do this thing for him, so he could have some money. I think Lori reluctantly agreed, and Maria started doing it soon after. The problem was the guy was wearing a hat, and glasses and we just could not be 100% sure that was him (like I said CCTV is worthless). After my break, I went outside to talk to Daniel, and I told him about the case. Daniel was standing in front of the store when I walked out. Our conversation went something like this…

Me: Hey Daniel, guess what? Daniel: what’s up man? Me: I was just watching this tape with Nicole, and she’s investigating these two cashiers for internal theft. Daniel: Yeah, I know. It’s a damn shame. I know the girls she’s investigating very well. One of the girls (Maria) comes from a bad situation, and the other one comes from a nice family. The girl is in college (Lori), but her boyfriend is trouble. They’re nice girls, but they won’t be around for very long. WalMart Loss prevention is a fucking beast, and the beast is hungry tonight (he laughed a little). Me: What’s gonna happen to them? Daniel: They’re gonna go to prison if

they can make that case stick; WalMart doesn’t play games, they will prosecute you to no end! That’s like embezzlement and grand theft! Those girls could be looking at some serious jail time. Me: I don’t know these girls too well, tell me about them. Daniel told me about these two girls, and I realized that they were good kids except they did something stupid. Daniel knew them well (he knew everybody in that damn place). Daniel and I walked around on foot patrol while he told me who these girls were. We walked all the way around the store, and we came back to the front. Sure enough, Lori and Maria were both on their

breaks and were smoking at the employee tables in front of the store. They were laughing, talking, and having a good time. Daniel and I just looked at each other but said nothing. Maria called out to Daniel, “Hey you! How ya doing?” “Alright, alright,” Daniel replied with a slight smile on his face. “Is this the new guy?” Maria asked while looking at me. “Yep, Yep. His name is Ricky,” Daniel answered. I just waved at her, and I probably had a morbid look on my face. “Oh yea, I’ve seen you around,” Maria said like it was no big deal. “Ah yea, I’ve seen you around too,” I retorted smiling at Daniel. Daniel just smiled back and

looked away. He was acting very casual, like nothing was going on. I just said my “see ya later” and walked away. I got an uneasy feeling in my stomach; I was actually scared for those girls. Later that night, Nicole called me and Daniel to the LP office on our radio. Daniel and I both looked at each other, and we just knew what this was about. We quietly walked to the LP office. When I opened the door to the LP office, I saw Lori sitting on the bench; she had tears ruining her makeup. An assistant manager (Tammy of all people) sat at the guard desk, and Nicole was at the LP desk doing the paper work. They

wanted me to stand guard til the cops showed up (like she’s gonna escape or something). Boy, talk about awkward, I watched as this girl begged Tammy, and Nicole for a second chance. Her hands were trembling, and she was breathing very rapidly. She was hysterically crying very hard. “Oh my god, my heart is pounding so fast, it won’t stop! I’m so scared!” Lori said in a panic. “Do you want us to call an ambulance for you?” I asked (by law if they ask for an ambulance we have to call them). She said no, but still complained that she really was not feeling well. Tammy and Nicole said nothing, but they both looked at me as if I spoke out of place or something. I straight up gave them both

a “stop fucking looking at me” look, and they both looked away. Lori was on the verge of full blown panic; she kept asking what was gonna happen to her. Tammy looked at her with rage in her eyes and said, “You know what’s gonna happen! We’re calling the police, and you’re going to jail tonight!” Lori sunk her head and really started crying at that point, she was begging, “PLEASE! PLEASE! I DON’T WANNA GO TO JAIL!! I’LL DO ANYTHING; I’LL PAY FOR EVERYTHING!!” She was hyperventilating so hard that I thought she was gonna pass out. Tammy did not reply to her; she just looked the other way like she didn’t give a shit. All of

this sudden, Lori started vomiting, and I mean she was really vomiting hard. She was so scared she was vomiting. I’ve never seen anybody that scared before, and I was in the fucking Army. I gave her a little trash can and was trying to calm her down. “It’s okay, you’re gonna get through this,” I said. I didn’t know what else to say. Moments later………..”POUND! POUND! POUND!” The loud pounding was the unmistakable sound of the cops knocking at the door. I opened the door, and these two cops walked in. “This is one of the girls, the other one is in the manager’s office; we’re pressing charges on both of them,” Tammy said like it was no big deal. Lori was crying and talking, but

her voice was so low and muffled, I could not understand what she was saying. One cop went to the manager’s office (for Maria), and the other cop told Lori “Stand up.” Lori did not stand; she was like frozen with fear. The cop had to pick her up to put the cuffs on her. She was not resisting, but she stiffened up real bad, and the cop had some trouble getting the cuffs on her. I heard the cuffs click, and Lori just broke down into another hysterical fit, crying with very intense fear and sadness in her voice. I just walked out; this shit was starting to piss me off. The LP office and the Manager’s office are in the back of the store. The cops

could park the patrol car in the back of the store, and we could walk the shoplifters (and some employees) out the back door, and few people will see it, and it would be easier for the cops. WalMart policy actually prefers to walk ALL SHOPLIFTERS out the front of the store in handcuffs in front of everybody! They walk them through the store from the back, all the way to the front. I’ve walked a lot of people like that, and you get a lot of turned heads, a lot people acting all shocked and appalled, and you hear comments like “Oh my god,” or “another one bites the dust!” It’s no joke, WalMart takes pride in intentionally humiliating people like that.

Tammy was a mean, ugly, woman that looked like a damn bull or something. She called out to me on the floor. I suppose she did not like something I said during the apprehension. Tammy: Hey Ricky, you’re just a security guard. You get paid to guard people and merchandise. Next time we are in a situation like that, just stand guard and keep your mouth shut! Me: (not backing down) Whoa! First of all, you’re way out of line talking to me like that; I will say whatever I please! Second of all, I don’t take orders from you, I take them from the DLPS, so if you have an issue, talk to him! Tammy: Oh I will, in fact, I’m gonna call

him right now! Me: (smirking contemptuously) Good! While you’re at it, tell him I said Hi. I walked away laughing; I thought that was funny. I thought that there was a chance that the DLPS could fire me, but I don’t give a shit. I’ll straight up quit this dumb ass job before I take shit from that ugly ass Tammy. I’ll tell you another thing, Tammy has a lot of fucking nerve treating shoplifters the way she does. Tammy herself came up under investigation for a possible cash theft in the cash office. The only reason she did not get busted is that there was no real proof, and the money just magically reappeared.

The guy who got knocked out It was a hot, miserable day, and I was on foot patrol. WalMart is always busy, but this particular day was just ridiculously busy. People were in a hurry, honking horns, walking all fast, and my head was starting to spin. I walked around the store to the back to escape the bullshit. It was quiet back there, and there was nobody else around. There was a lot of wood, and boards, and stuff back there. I got this board, and I placed it on these two bricks, and I took position, and I hit the board using “Chuto” or “knife hand” technique. I chopped that board into two

neat pieces, “YES!” I shouted. I looked up, and Randy was watching me. “What the hell are you looking at? Ill karate chop your dumb ass too,” I thought while resuming patrol. Randy just walked away. Things were no different out front in the parking lot; the mood was frustrated and aggressive. This Hispanic female was coming out of the store, and she was about 5’7, maybe 250 LBS, and she was walking from the front exit to the parking lot when this car trying to get by stopped for her. The driver was a Caucasian male, about 70 years old. The driver impatiently honked at the Hispanic female as she walked across the

walkway; she apparently was not moving fast enough for him. She became agitated and stopped in front of the car and yelled, “Fuck you! Shut the fuck up!” The older driver smiled and gave her the middle finger of both hands simultaneously. “Get out the car then motherfucker! We’re gonna fight!” The angry woman demanded as she approached the driver side door. She actually pulled on the door handle, but it was locked. The guy drove a little ways, rolled down the window, stuck his head out, and shouted back….”Stay out of the roadway you fucking stupid, fat, ugly, bitch!” The woman heard that, and her eyes got wide. She very quickly ran over to the car, but the driver stuck

his head back in, rolled up the window and drove off. I busted out laughing as I thought that event was deliriously funny. If that older gentleman would have got gotten out of his car; the only option he would have had is to ask me for help to which I would have said no. I would have told him straight up, “You danced to the music; now you must pay the piper,” and that woman would have kicked his ass. Later, I was in the LP office with Randy and Nicole. Randy told Nicole about my little karate demonstration in the back of the store, and Nicole just looked at me and laughed. “Ricky, you’re a martial artist?” Nicole asked. “Yes,” I replied.

“What style do you study?” Nicole asked. “I study Kung-Fu, Kickboxing, and Jiu-Jitsu,” I replied. “Can you hit hard?” Nicole asked. “I’m okay I reckon; I have my moments,” I answered. Nicole seemed like she was impressed, but there was something that went down the night before that was even more impressive. It was the middle of the night, like 2:00am. Antonio was on his lunch break, and he hit the Taco Bell drive thru. There was no security either inside or outside the store. So this guy comes in, and he starts shopping with the old “five finger discount.” This guy attracted a lot of attention, and

everybody in the store was watching him. He ran around the store grabbing all kinds of stuff like clothes, jewelry, and anything else he could grab. It was no coincidence that he struck in the middle of the night right after Antonio went to lunch. He just parked his car in the parking lot and watched, and waited til there was no security. There was no shame in this man’s game; he literally had both of his arms full of shit that he got out of a variety of departments and headed straight for the front doors. A couple of night crew stockers confronted the guy near the front exit, and this guy took off running with more shit than he could carry. The two employees chased him to the garden center, but he ran

another way when he realized it was locked up. How this guy could out run anybody carrying as much stuff in his arms as he had is beyond me. He had so much clothes, and other things in his arms it could have filled a shopping cart! He was running fast in the store, turning every which way to escape the two employees who were in hot pursuit. Meanwhile, outside the store there was this other stocker (and this guy was a giant) who was taking his 15 minute break. He was a tall, African American man, and he was as strong as a man can get. He calmly got a coke from the vending machine and started strolling his way to the employee’s work tables,

which was near the front exit. He saw inside the store as he walked near the front exit and observed the guy running towards him with the two employees chasing him. This guy very calmly switched his drink to his left hand and stood by the exit and…………….BAM! He punched the would-be shoplifter in the face as he came running out with his right hand. The thief got “clotheslined” by the fist so hard that he damn near did a back flip in the air! All the merchandise went flying in all sorts of directions, and the guy landed on the ground and could not get up. The two employees that had been chasing him came running out, grabbed him, and carried him back inside the store to face

the music. Meanwhile, the stocker with the wicked right hand just continued to casually drink his coke and went back to his break. The whole thing was caught on camera. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I asked. “Nope, this really went down last night. Everybody’s talking about it,” Nicole replied. We got out the tape and started watching it, rewinding and playing back the part when the guy got hit. We all three stood there watching the tape and having laughs about it. That guy got hit so hard, and so fast that he was literally knocked out in mid-air! He hit the ground pretty damn hard too, and he had to be carried back inside the store.

When the guy regained consciousness in the LP office, he was told that he was gonna be going to jail, and that he would get a bill in the mail for all the items he tried to steal. “You mean I still gotta pay for all that shit?” the guy allegedly asked. “Yep, and if you don’t pay there may be civil and criminal liabilities,” The manager allegedly replied. That’s what they seriously tell everybody. They call it the restitution bill. Here’s the thing. If you get busted stealing from WalMart; three things can happen. 1# If what you’ve stolen is under ten dollars, they will take your picture, have you sign a trespass form, and let you go; telling you never to come

back to any WalMart for as long as you live. 2# If what you have stolen costs more than $10 they will call the cops. You’ll probably get a ticket (it’s like a traffic ticket) that says you have to go to court to answer for the charges. The cops will let you go after giving you the ticket, but remember you have to show up for court later. 3# If the dollar amount from the items are very high, (like over $400) it’s now grand theft; they will call the cops, and you’ll go to jail. You have to post bail to get out. After court, you’ll get a bill from WalMart, charging you for restitution.

The bill may be between $50-$500, depending on a few things, like the cost for the items you stole, and our time it takes for doing the apprehension. Yes, WalMart charges you for the hourly wages of the employees who apprehended you, for the duration of the apprehension! However, legally you do not have to pay the bill WalMart sends you. The only time you absolutely must pay restitution is if the judge at your trial orders you to do so. That’s it! The reason being is because technically WalMart has lost nothing. They apprehended you, and they’ve recovered the merchandise, so technically it’s not a loss.

Even if you take the merchandise out of the package, WalMart will put that merchandise back in the package and put the package back on the shelf; sell it and still make a profit. Only now, they’ve charged you a ridiculous bill, so they can profit on the items twice, and have you pay our hourly wages, and their making more and more money. The managers and LP are trained to inform you about the bill, and tell you that you must pay or face legal consequences, but there are no consequences. You don’t have to pay shit unless a judge specifically orders you to do so. Remember I’m not a lawyer, and I’m not giving legal advice. I don’t know

everything, and I don’t know the laws in every county or state. I’m merely telling you what I was told, and what I observed while working security for WalMart. Check the laws in your state, county, city, and whatever.

The Girl who got Strip searched Two nights out of the week I was required to work the night shift (because of Antonio’s days off). The night shift got pretty damn crazy; all of the weirdos always seem to come out during the night

shift, and then it’s like hours of darkness, isolation, and boredom, and then five minutes of an adrenaline rush. The night shift worked out for me because I could work my private investigation job during the day, and work WalMart at night. I always tried to get as much sleep as I could, but sometimes I could not. I would walk around, and my brain was like totally fried because I was constantly working and was constantly sleep deprived. I would just drink a bunch of cokes, and that always seemed to get me through it. I worked from Sunday, to Friday morning, and had Friday and Saturday off. Wednesdays and Thursdays I

worked the night shift from 9:00pm to 6:00am. On this day, I had to do surveillance for Pearsy, which lasted a few hours, and then I had this family thing I had to deal with, so I couldn’t get any sleep prior to going to work. As bad as things were, working from morning to night was really nothing new to me; after all, I was in the Army. I was also in my early twenties, and I was young, strong, full of precious energy, and I did not really seem to need the sleep. It was a Thursday night, and I started my shift like any other. I came in a few minutes early, checked the tapes, got a radio, clocked in, and started my patrol

in the parking lot. On my way to the security vehicle, I would stop and get a coke from the vending machine. The other reason I really liked the night shift was because all the bosses were at home. I was the only security guy on duty, and I can pretty much do whatever I want! I’d cruise through the parking lot and listen to the radio. I had my own way of dealing with things. I saw people messing around; I’d tell them to get lost, and normally they would. I drove around with that strobe light on my vehicle with nothing particular to do. There were not many people in the parking lot, or inside the store. I was looking forward to another

boring night. My favorite song came on, “Oh my god I love this song,” I said to myself. I turned up the radio and was cruising around and was feeling very happy and content. All of this sudden, I get the call on the two way radio, “We need Security at the front exit for a code 89 please.” “Ah fuck!! Things always seem to happen when the good music is on!” I thought as I turned my favorite song off. “10-4, I’m on my way,” I replied into the radio. I parked the security vehicle at the front of the store, dismounted, and walked into the front exit to respond to this code 89. I walked into the store; I had no idea

what’s going on, and I see assistant manager Joe talking to these two women near the customer service desk. The women were two Hispanic females, about in their twenties, and they had a small child with them, a boy who was just a toddler. One of the Hispanic females was about 5’6, about 170 LBS and was wearing this light colored tang top. The issue was these two girls tried to walk out the store, and the EAS alarm went off. Assistant manager Joe called the girls back, asked them for their receipt and started checking the items in their cart. Now this was turning into a confrontation, and assistant manager Joe

was now accusing the girls of taking something. Their conversation went something like this……….. Assistant manager Joe: What do you girls have on you that you did not pay for? Girl: We don’t have anything sir; we don’t know why that alarm is going off. Assistant Manager Joe: Okay, I want you girls to walk through the doors one at a time. The girls complied with assistant manager Joe; the first girl walked through the door, and there was no EAS alarm. Then the second girl (the one with the tang top) walked through the door,

and the EAS alarm went off. Assistant manager Joe now became focused on the girl with the tang top. “I know you got something that doesn’t belong to you, and I want it back!” assistant manager Joe said. The girl with the tang top kept arguing, “I don’t have anything sir, I swear!” I stood there silently watching this whole thing unfold, and this lady came over, she was a CSM (customer service manager), and her name was Stacy. She was assisting Joe because of the two females. Assistant manager Joe had the girl with the tang top go through one more time just to make sure the alarm was not malfunctioning, and it went off again.

Assistant manager Joe: I don’t know what you have, but that alarm does not just go off by itself. You have an electronic sensory tag on your person, which means you have merchandise you did not pay for. The girl: No, I don’t. Assistant manager Joe: I’ve seen this a thousand times; the tag is setting off the alarm. You better give me back the merchandise, or I’m calling the police, and you’ll be arrested for shoplifting. Joe told the girl that he was prepared to search her to get the merchandise back. The girl with the tang top told him something to the effect of, “Search me all you want, but you won’t find anything

because I don’t have anything.” The other girl told Joe, “You can’t do that! You don’t have the authority to just search people!” “You know what, I’m done messing around. I better get that merchandise back, or I’m calling the police right now,” assistant manager Joe replied. The girls were clearly scared, and they didn’t know what to do. I’m not sure which girl the child belonged to, but I think it was the girl with the tang top. The girl with the tang top reluctantly agreed to be searched, and CSM Stacy took the girl into the old security office that was next to the customer service desk. I could not believe that Joe was

doing this, and I could not believe CSM Stacy was going along with it. The girl was made to remove both her tang top, and her pants! Stacy and the girl in question came out of that little room just a few minutes later, and Stacy did not have anything. “She took her shirt, and her pants off, and I didn’t see anything,” Stacy said to assistant manager Joe. Joe was not satisfied, he demanded that the girl consent to another search, and this time he wanted her to take off her bra and panties! I could not believe my fucking ears! Did he really just say that? I was starting to wish that this thing was a nightmare, and that I would wake up any moment now.

Searching people in this manner is clearly wrong! Even if they did steal; it’s still wrong! I wanted to say something, but I had no idea what to say, and my instincts told me it’s better to keep my mouth shut and just be a witness. I watched in disbelief as Stacy prepped to do another strip search, and this time she had her hand out in front of her face and was putting on a latex glove, and it snapped like in the movies. “Ahhhh, you gotta be fucking kidding me!!!” I thought as I watched in disbelief. Stacy and the girl with the tang top went back into that little security room and closed the door again. A couple of intense, awkward moments passed. Finally, the door

opened, and they came back out. The girl with the tang top was crying. Stacy was holding a pair of panties that still had the tag on it. Apparently, this girl took the panties from our ladies department, and stuffed it down into her own panties, and tried to walk out the door. During the second strip search, the girl stripped down to her bra and panties, and not wanting to take anymore clothes off, she just gave up and pulled the panties out from her groin area. The girl with the tang top was in tears, talking to her friend, and I heard her say, “I was so scared.” Assistant manager Joe still was not finished with the girl. He told me to get the camera and the

trespass form, and I went back to the LP office and got the items he wanted. Joe explained to the girl that she was going to have her picture taken, and that she was gonna sign the trespass form, which meant that she can never come back to any WalMart. The girl agreed. I took the girl into the security office and had her sign the form, and I took her picture. I said nothing to her; I was in a state of shock. Assistant manager Joe recovered the panties, and he let the girls leave without calling the police. The girls left without incident, and as for the panties………..I don’t exactly know, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was eventually placed back on the sales floor! I went to the LP office and wrote

a report about the incident and left it out for Nicole. The rest of the night went without incident, and the next morning, I went home and went straight to bed. I fell asleep around 7:00am and slept to almost 3:00pm. When I woke up, I realized that I received a call from Nicole. I obviously did not answer, and she left a message. In her message, it was obvious that she saw my report, but she started giving me this really long lecture; only her voice was so low and muffled that I could not understand a damn thing she was saying. I deleted the message, and was happy to be off for a couple of days. I told my parents what

had happened, and they could not believe it. They were stunned Here’s the thing, I don’t have to be a lawyer to tell you that nobody at WalMart has the authority to strip search anybody, regardless if they’ve stolen something or not. The only search that we are allowed to do is a basic frisk or “pat down” for weapons or merchandise once you’ve apprehended somebody, and that is only because safety is involved. That strip search was so wrong, in so many ways that I actually don’t know what else to write right now. The girl likely went home, and told very few people about what happened, if she

told anybody at all. The thing is she obviously does not know her rights because she could have gotten a lawyer, and sued the pants off WalMart (and I would have testified on her behalf). The problem is guilt. Once caught shoplifting, people usually feel shame and guilt. Telling people you got caught shoplifting is incredibly embarrassing, so with those elements, she likely did not tell too many people. Another thing, people don’t know their rights once caught in a situation like that, and they usually think the security, or the manager has the right to do whatever he or she wants, but that is wrong. I’m sure that even to this day, that girl still has no

idea that her rights were grossly violated. A short time later, I went to look for the report that I did, and the trespass form with the girl’s picture in it. I could not find the report. I looked in the cabinets where all the reports were kept, and it was not in there. I looked everywhere I had access, but that report just disappeared. When I had that girl sign the trespass form, I made it a point to burn her name into my memory, and I have a good memory, and even to this day, I can still remember that girl’s name.

Mother and Daughter turn on each other I was sitting in Pearsy’s office one sunny afternoon listening to this woman rant and rave about her husband. Apparently, she suspected that he was cheating on her, and she wanted something done about it. She spoke directly with Pearsy and acted as if I were not even there. I

watched silently, and without emotion as this woman displayed a bunch of different emotions for her husband. One of the basic emotions she was demonstrating was fear; she was very worrisome. The couple had been married like 30 years, and things were now changing. Pearsy was calm and spoke to the woman like he was very interested and caring, but in reality, I know he could not give a shit. Just when you thought she was finished; she’d come up talking some more. This woman kept going, talking to us so fast, I started to wonder if she were on that methamphetamines. I thought, “Perhaps we should video tape her and play it

back in slow-motion.” I’m sure Pearsy was probably thinking the same thing as he was even more cold hearted than I was. The woman eventually finished; made her initial payment (which was like $500), thanked us for our service, and left. Me: You see Pearsy; everybody brings joy to this office. Some people bring joy when they come in, and others when they leave. Pearsy: (rolling his eyes) I thought she’d never shut the fuck up! Me: So what’s the next step here Pearsy? Pearsy: (Handing me the client’s file) I need you on the case, get the surveillance camera from Anna, and get

on that guy right away. Me: Okay. About an hour later, I was in the car, sitting out in the sun (summer time), and it was triple digits outside. This was by far the toughest surveillance I’ve ever been on; I mean this job really sucked. First and foremost, when you’re spying on somebody you can’t take breaks. You can’t just take off and go use the restroom and get something to eat because obviously your subject may be gone, or you may have missed some crucial event. So you must be ready by having a full tank of gas, bring an ice chest with drinks, and a designated “piss

bottle” for when you really have to relieve yourself. Weather is another hardship as far as stationary surveillance (also known as a stake-out) is concerned. You can’t just leave your engine running for hours, so you kind of have to take the pain. And trust me, the pain of sitting in the car in triple digit heat for hours is fucking killer! I was sitting outside this guy’s work office, waiting for this prick to go home, but he never did. Absolutely nothing was happening, and after five hours I called Pearsy and told him of the situation, and he told me to sit on him for the rest of the night, or until he goes home. By this time, I was already drenched in sweat, and I felt like I was gonna die from the

heat. This is where the soldier in me kicked in; I did not argue with Pearsy, I just said, “Okay” and did my job. I told him that I would keep him posted on any developments, but I did not think there would be any. Nighttime had fallen, and it was starting to get late. Never mind the fact that I was doing this on my days off (which meant I actually had no days off), but I had been on this stake out for nine hours now! In the private investigation textbooks, they talk about patience and tenacity being key elements for an investigator, but this was fucking ridiculous. Our client is almost out of money now because $500 only buys 10

hours of investigation. Truth be known, If Pearsy really wanted to find out if there is a mistress, and if so, who she is, he could have done it with just a few phone calls. Unfortunately, the idea is to use up the clients’ money on some bullshit surveillance, and they either pay for more “surveillance,” or they don’t, but even if they don’t you still got the money and got rid of them. I’m on the client’s last hour of investigation, and it’s late, and this fool still has not showed himself (he was in his office the whole time). All of this sudden, a vehicle arrived at the office parking lot. I quickly got the surveillance camera and turned on the

night vision. I zoomed in on the vehicle that parked outside the office and recorded a woman getting out of the vehicle and going into the office. I also got her license plate using the zoom feature (thanks modern technology). I only recorded the woman because you’re supposed to document and record everything. I didn’t think much of it, but then I saw the bastard finally come out of the office. The woman was with him, and they were “date walking.” I focused the camera on them, and recorded them kissing. I shouted out, “Yeah, busted your ass BITCH!!” I called Pearsy (who was at home) and told him what I have. He said, “Great!” He sounded thrilled (probably because the client would

surely order more surveillance). A short time later, I got the heck out of there; I had just done a 10-hour stake out in triple digit heat! I stopped at this gas station on my way home; I was literally covered in sweat, and it looked like somebody had poured water all over me. I was so damn thirsty and was low in electrolytes. I got water and Poweraid at the store, and gulped them down as I paid for them at the counter. I also stunk bad and was in dire need of a shower. The cashier looked at me all crazy; I can’t imagine what I must have looked like. The AC on full blast against my skin, and my favorite songs playing on the radio while sipping a

cool drink driving home felt so damn good! I felt like it was over! But I kept thinking about these people, the cheating husband and the wife. They were an average white, middle-class couple that had been seemingly happily married for 30 years. Why would you betray your wife after 30 years? That didn’t make any sense to me. A few days later, I found out that when confronted with the surveillance tape, the guy told his wife he hated her, and that he wanted a divorce. He packed his things and left his wife of 30 years, the mother of his children, scared, broken hearted, and crying for him not to go, and all for a woman he allegedly barely knew. I just could not understand it.

That particular case bothered me for a very long time. I could not understand why this guy would so something so cold hearted, so mean, and so damn dishonorable. I would never betray my family like that. I would never leave my wife crying and abandoned like that. It was too horrible to even think about. I wished I never would have seen them two kissing on that surveillance. I felt bad for our broken hearted client, but there was nothing I could do. I was eating more and more (it was like I was comforting myself). I stood in front of WalMart eating a big mac and enjoying a large coke. I was happy, and I was starting to forget all of the

unfortunate cases that I had. All of this sudden, I heard Nicole’s voice over the radio……….”We have two Caucasian females coming out of the garden center; I need PLP at the doors for an apprehension.” I dropped that my precious junk food in the trash and made a sprint toward the garden center. Neil was behind me, but he was too weak to keep up (he’s not much good to us anyways). Sure enough, I see these two girls come out of the store, and they had a shopping cart full of merchandise that they had stolen. Nicole immediately came out after these two girls, and identified herself as loss prevention. The girls were cooperative, so there was no need for handcuffs. Nicole and I

(with Neil tagging along) escorted the two suspects back into the store and to the LP office. We placed one girl in the LP office, and the other in the manager’s office. The two females were mother and daughter (the mother looked really young and was very pretty). Nicole and I were guarding the Mother in the LP office, Neil, and an assistant manager was guarding the daughter in the manager’s office. The women had the shopping cart filled to maximum capacity of merchandise they tried to steal. I could not believe they brazenly walked out with that much stuff. The mother sat cool, calm, and acted as if she was a conservative, responsible,

woman who was on the up and up. “Which merchandise has not been paid for?” The mother asked. Nicole looked at her with a strange smile and said, “Ahhhh, all of it.” The mother started acting as if surprised, “I beg your pardon,” she said. Nicole looked at her as if wanting to laugh, “Oh give me a break! You had to have known this stuff wasn’t paid for,” Nicole replied. “Honey, I went to the ladies room, and when I came out my daughter told me that she already paid for the stuff in the cart at the front registers. Are you telling me that she didn’t pay for anything?” The mother explained. “None of this stuff has been paid for ma’am,” Nicole replied. “Are you guys

charging my daughter for the theft?” The mother asked like it was no big deal. Nicole turned and looked at her and said, “We are charging the both of you.” “You cannot do that; I did not know about the theft.” The mother replied. Nicole turned again with a frustrated look on her face and said, “Oh cut the shit! I was following you two the whole time, and I saw you putting the merchandise in the bags.” At this point mommy dearest finally shut up. Here’s the thing. The girls came into the store with used, folded up, plastic WalMart shopping bags in their purses. They walked around loading all kinds of

stuff in the shopping cart, and then went to an area near the pharmacy, pulled the bags out of their purses, and put the merchandise into the bags. They then casually walked out of garden center and told the door greeter they paid for the items up front on their way out. Their plan was kind of clever, (but hardly original; we see that a lot). Their miscalculation was Nicole, and the fact that what they did is now a big time felony. The law in California says that if you go into a store with the intention to steal, and let’s say you get a WalMart shopping bag from home, fold it up, and put it in your pocket to use for the theft; you’ve just committed commercial burglary. Commercial burglary is a big

time felony (one could do some real jail time for that). My understanding of this law is that it is the same as if you were breaking into the store at night when it was closed. Plus, the items that they stole turned out to be priced at over $1,000 bucks, which is now grand theft. So as you can see, somebody is going to jail for real! So what about the daughter? What does she have to say for herself? “My mom did it. I didn’t want to, but she made me do it,” she kept insisting. “Finally she told me that if I didn’t do it she’d kick my ass,” The loving daughter explained. The manager told the daughter about the seriousness of the charges, and how they

could be facing some serious jail time. “You can’t send me to prison; I’m just a minor. Anyways, it was my mom’s idea,” The daughter casually said. These were some of the coldest bitches I ever did come across. I come from a very tight family, and in my family, good or bad, right or wrong; we always take care of each other. As a 16-year old, I’d happily go to Juvenile hall or even jail to protect my mother, even if stealing was her idea. Now, I don’t have any kids myself (and thank God for that), but if I did, I’d never, ever, lead my child into a store to steal, and I’d sure as shit never let he or she take the rap for me! I’d protect my child

at all costs! I watched this sorry excuse for a mother in disbelief, and it immediately put me in mind of the guy who abandoned his wife. This woman sat in her chair, and argued with Nicole, and still kept insisting that her daughter did it, and that we should arrest her for theft. She would have gladly left her kid to take the rap alone, and went home to watch soap operas, paint her toe nails, and talk on the phone. I asked myself, “What in the hell kind of people are these?” Next thing I knew, there was the unmistakable sound of the cops knocking on the office door. The police officers walked in, and Nicole started talking to

them, telling them what went down. The woman cut in and told the cops that her daughter did it. One cop stayed to talk to mom, and the other cop went to talk to the daughter. They both kept insisting the other one did it, and the cops were not sure who to charge. The conversation went something like this…. Cop: Ma’am, you keep saying that your daughter did it, but the in-store security saw both of you taking old plastic bags from your purses and filling them with merchandise, and they also have you on tape. I think now would be a pretty good time to come clean. Mother: I never should have trusted that fucking tramp! Cop: did you put your kid up to this?

Mother: (she now knows she’s busted) I’m not talking to you anymore; I want a lawyer. Cop: okay fine, but at this time we will be charging both you and your daughter with the theft. The conversation between the daughter and the cop went similar, although, I was not in the room for it. The daughter kept blaming mom for the theft, saying that she made her do it. In the end, both mother and daughter were arrested for both commercial burglary and grand theft. I imagine the mom should also get a charge for having her kid steal. I personally think that these girls planned

this thing out, and mutually decided to do it. I don’t know why, and I don’t know how they thought they could get away with it. The thing that bothered me was the fact that mother and daughter turned on each other. I was now seeing a world where people had absolutely no loyalty for the family.

Mother of the Year I had become somewhat of a celebrity around my own circle of family and friends because of the work that I did. Actually, come to think of it, I really didn’t have many friends, but my family all thought my work was such hot shit. When people found out what I did, they would immediately ask me questions

about the shoplifters. People wanted to know about the customers who steal, and they wanted to know how they get caught. I would tell a few stories, and people would listen intently and normally laughed afterwards. Some of my stories were just so outrageous that people were shocked when they heard them. When I tell my stories; I get a lot of, “I would have done this, and I would have done that,” from everybody. The reality is nobody really knows what they actually would do if they got busted shoplifting. I was on foot patrol one sunny afternoon, and I observed this cat behind the store. The cat was grey, with black stripes, and

she kept saying, “MEOW, MEOW.” I think in kitty cat language that means, “I’m hungry, please feed me.” Of course, I was not surprised to see this kitty because she lived behind our store, and I had got some food for her today. It was a little can of cat food that I purchased on one of my breaks. I opened the can, and the cat somehow immediately knew it was food; she got this very interested but still untrusting look on her face. I opened the cat food and set it down, then walked away. I watched from a distance as the cat slowly and cautiously approached the food and started eating. Meanwhile, back in the store, Nicole

was watching three people on the sales floor. The three persons of interest included an adult man, an adult woman, and a 10-year-old boy. Nicole would watch them on the security monitors, and then run out of the LP office real fast to watch them in certain areas with little camera coverage. The woman was Hispanic, about 30 years of age. The adult male was also Hispanic, about late 30’s/early 40s, and he was wearing a cowboy hat with a sleeveless leather jacket. The adult male had a little beard, and he was fucking ugly. The woman had picked up a backpack from the sporting goods department and began filling the backpack with all kinds of merchandise from men’s clothing, to

jewelry, to some electronic items to include a portable DVD player. The woman’s head constantly did a rapid swivel as she walked around the store and stuffed the backpack. The adult male followed casually, and the young boy was visibly nervous. The young boy had his hands in his pockets, and kept pacing back and forth as the woman stuffed more and more items into the backpack. Even watching him on tape, Nicole could see that the young boy was scared. While on foot patrol outside, I heard Nicole’s voice over the radio, “I need PLP to the garden center for an apprehension.” So I immediately ran

over there in a full sprint. The trouble was I was in back of the store and on the other side feeding my new friend when I got that call; I ran as fast as I could because I had much distance to cover. Why all the rush? Why all the concern? Why not just calmly walk? Because shoplifting apprehensions are like a box of chocolates; you just never know what you’re gonna get. You get shoplifters who are scared and apologetic, or sometimes you get the crazy ones who come after you with a knife, gun, nunchucks, or even brass knuckles. Moments earlier, the woman finished stuffing the backpack with really expensive merchandise and gave the

backpack to her 10-year-old son. She told him to wear the backpack and walk out garden center with it. Mom of the year told the boy that she and her gentleman friend (just a boyfriend and not even the kid’s father) would get the car, and meet him right outside the garden center. She instructed her teary eyed and obviously scared kid to wait a few minutes before heading over there to give her and the boyfriend enough time to get the car. She promised she would be there to pick him up, and all he would have to do is walk out and jump in the car. She didn’t even kiss her kid or anything before she and her boyfriend left him in the store, and walked out the

front exit headed for the parking lot. Nicole watched the boy who was obviously scared, been crying, and paced back and forth holding onto his stomach like he had a stomach ache. He was so little, and he looked like a really sweet kid. Meanwhile, back outside, Daniel and I were approaching the garden center exit, and we both heard Nicole’s voice over the radio, but we couldn’t understand what she was saying. At this time, the kid was walking toward the garden center exit. As Daniel and I approached the garden center, we observed this car in the driveway just outside the exit. The car was just sitting there as if

waiting for somebody. The boy walked out the garden center exit and saw his mom waiting for him in the car (she was driving). But before the boy could even step off the sidewalk Nicole grabbed him. Daniel and I both grabbed the boy too. His eyes were wide with surprise and fear, and he immediately looked to his mother…………and she straight up took off without him! She straight up put the pedal to the metal and left her 10year-old boy holding the package! The boy went into a full blown panic and hysterically screamed at the top of his lungs, “MOM!! MOM!! Nicole watched the car speed out of the parking lot; she looked like she was pissed off. Daniel, Nicole, and I escorted this poor kid to

the LP office, and he was hysterically screaming and crying the whole way; he was crying for his mom, who would not be coming back for him. This kid sat on the bench in the LP office. His hands were trembling, and he had this look on his face like he was scared out of his mind. I started talking to him; I kept reassuring him that everything was gonna be okay. I kept telling him to calm down. Nicole was talking to Daniel, and she told him that she was trying to tell us to apprehend the mother, but we were running and could not understand what she was saying. Nicole told us what the mother did, she saw everything; she even saw her prep

talking him before she walked out. The boy kept crying for his mom; I kept trying to reassure him, but he was inconsolable. He kept crying and begging us not to send him to jail. Nicole sat down with him and started talking to him. She told him that he was not in any trouble, and that she was gonna do everything in her power to help him. I went to the break room and got a Sprite soft drink from the vending machine. I went back to the LP office and gave the kid the soda to calm him down. The kid started to calm down after Nicole started talking to him, and he started drinking the soda. Our hearts went out to this kid; his situation was

really disturbing to watch. The kid now sat with his head down, he looked like he was ashamed, scared, confused, and really sad. Nicole and Daniel started unloading the contents of the backpack, which contained some expensive shit; everything from men’s clothing, jewelry, cosmetics, and some electronic items like a portable DVD player. As a fucked up kicker to this event, there wasn’t even anything in there for the kid. The store manager came in and looked at the kid, and after speaking to Nicole, he went out to the sales floor and got a handheld video game thing and came back to the LP office. He gave the kid

the video game, and said he could keep it. The kid seemed surprised, and said, “Thank you.” By this time, the whole store heard about this incident. People were outraged, and there were a lot of comments like, “They should lock her sorry ass up and throw away the key!” Some people just shook their heads and asked, “How could any mother do that to her own child?” The kid’s demeanor was now calm, he sat drinking a soda and playing his new handheld video game as Nicole continued to talk to him. We learned that the guy that was with his mom wasn’t the boy’s father, and that he had a troubled situation at home. The boy gave us both

his mother’s, and his grandmother’s phone numbers. Nicole called the mother and got no answer, and then she called the grandmother and asked her to come down to the store for her grandson. Nicole also called the police; two police officers showed up minutes later. The boy seemed scared of them at first, but the cops were real nice to him. One of the cops asked the kid, “When was the last time you ate something?” The kid said he had some cereal that morning. The cop then went and got the kid a happy meal from McDonald’s. Nicole told the officers what she had seen, and gave them the paperwork. The officers told Nicole that they would be

charging the mother with grand theft, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, willful cruelty to a child, and child endangerment. I got a page overhead for security to come to the customer service desk. I responded to the customer service desk, and there was this older Hispanic woman there; she was the boy’s grandmother. I walked up and smiled real polite, “Hi, my name is Ricky in security.” “You guys are holding my grandson for shoplifting, and I’m here to take him home,” the grandmother replied. I told the lady to follow me, and I began to escort her back to the LP office. Right away I can see she’s a fucking piece of shit just like her low life daughter.

While we were walking back to the LP office, she asked me, “Have you guys called the police?” “It would be better if you spoke to my supervisor about that,” I replied. “A ma’am would be nice,” she said after a frustrated sigh. “Excuse me?” I asked. “I said I’d like you to address me as ma’am.” She said as if testing me. “Yeah, whatever!” I retorted with contempt. “My daughter called me and told me what happened. She said she came in here, and he (the kid) started stealing, so she left him here to face the consequences, so he’d be scared straight,” the grandmother explained to me. I could not believe the nerve of this woman; I knew my intuition

about her was right on. I wanted to talk some shit to her so bad that I could just taste it, but I held my tongue. “Like I said, you’re gonna have to talk to my supervisor about that,” I said straight up refusing to call her ma’am. “I’m just so afraid that they’re gonna make this out like it’s her fault, and get her into trouble. She was only trying to teach her son a lesson,” the grandmother elaborated further. I did not care to reply; I knew I’d say something out of anger that would get me in trouble. Most parents are concerned about their kids in a situation like this; whether they did it or not. This so called grandmother, like her daughter, had absolutely no concern for the kid at all.

We got into the LP office, and right away the grandmother looked at the kid with this crazy, angry look on her face, and she said to him in a low voice, “What did you fucking do?” The poor kid just hung his head. “Hey, that’s enough of that! Are you the mother or guardian?” One of the Police officers asked as he stepped in and got in this bitch’s face. “Ah, ah, ah, he’s my grandson,” the woman answered with fear. “Okay, we have testimony from the in-store security who saw your daughter filling the backpack, and they have her on tape as well,” the officer said with a stern voice. “Is my daughter in trouble?” the grandmother asked. “We have a unit on

the way to her house to pick her up right now for child endangerment and a few other charges, so yes ma’am, as far as I’m concerned she is in a lot of trouble,” the cop replied. The grandmother just turned her face away from the cop and silently glared at the kid. Minutes later, a confirmation came over the cop’s radio; they had arrested the mother at her home. The child was now in the grandmother’s custody; the grandmother told the kid, “Let’s go.” The kid got up and walked out of the office with his head down and obviously afraid of his grandmother. I was so disgusted with the situation, but there is nothing I can do. The cops really can’t do anything either except arrest that sorry excuse for

a mother. Unfortunately, this story does not have a happy ending.

Special shoplifting strategies There are a lot of cases of people beating WalMart for a lot of money. There was the case when somebody stole a delivery truck full of merchandise before it could be unloaded, and they got away with like $90,000 worth of merchandise. There was the other thing, and I could not believe this. Some guy strolled into a WalMart store in a security guard

uniform and a holstered gun. The guy walked up to the cash office and told them he was from the armored car company that picked up the money. The cash office associates had him sign a paper for the money, and gave him a bag with over $100,000 in unmarked, cold, hard, cash. The guy (he was not from the armored car company) walked out, and he was never caught, and the money was never recovered. The aforementioned heists did not occur at my store, but we all heard about it. There were all kinds of interesting cases that people would talk about. There was the famous “WalMart family” for example. The “WalMart family” was a

gang of thieves whose whole household income came from shoplifting. They were a real family; in fact, I heard they were like the Brady bunch. Mother, Father, son, daughter, and they were all professional shoplifters who drove from store to store stealing hundreds and thousands of dollars’ worth of merchandise. And when I say they were like the Brady bunch, I’m not lying. After they were caught it was revealed that they ate dinner together at the Dinner table, and they never missed a day in church (except for maybe when they all went to jail). You know what they say, “The family who steals together, stays together.” Now I’m sure they’re just one big happy jail bird family.

The WalMart family never came to our store, at least not that I know of. We did have our fair share of crazy shit that went down. I only worked for WalMart for two and a half years, but in that time I saw a lot of people steal. The thieves came from all walks of life, and many times they were wealthy, or at least they had a lot of money. For example, there was the case that we had one time when this idiot came into our store, and tried to steal a $10 CD. When they searched him, they discovered that he had $5,000 in cash in his pocket! There’s no telling what people will do when they get busted. I’ve seen it all; some people fight, some people run, many try to

bargain, offer to pay, offer bribes, sometimes they bribe with money, and they sometimes bribe with sex. There was even one girl who was trying to bribe the In-store security guy with sex! She apparently told him that she would act out any fantasy that he wanted if he would only give her a pass. The first case that comes to my mind was the shoplifting team that came in and stole. The team consisted of three guys, and they were not professionals, but they had a nice little operation going. The team would come in one at a time and would act as if shopping independently. We never really caught these guys, but we were certainly on to them. One guy

would come in and act as a decoy. He would act really suspicious, and if that wasn’t enough he blatantly ripped open packages of merchandise, and stuffed the merchandise in his jacket. People would see him and would be totally focused on him. And while the in-store was busy with the decoy, the second guy would pick something and conceal it with other merchandise, and then he would leave. The third guy would come in and steal the merchandise under the pretext of paying for it. This team had so many different techniques for stealing in this manner that it was incredible. One day they kind of messed up, and we came really close

to catching them. The decoy came in and started his bullshit in. He ripped open packages and concealed merchandise but would not steal it (it’s not illegal to do that). He later dumped the merchandise and walked out without taking anything, but we stopped him and told him not to come back or we’ll arrest him for trespassing. While the decoy was doing his thing, one of his partners got a bunch of expensive items from electronics and took them to the aisle where the vacuum cleaners were. He cut open a vacuum cleaner box and stuffed it with the expensive electronic items. He sealed the box back up with tape, marked the box, and left the store. The third partner came in acting like he was gonna buy a

vacuum cleaner, got a shopping cart, went straight to the aisle to get the vacuum cleaner, picked up the very heavy box (that was marked) and put it in the basket. He then paid for the vacuum cleaner at the registers, and showed his receipt at the door. We ended up stopping the guy, and we recovered the merchandise, (but he was allowed to take the vacuum cleaner since he did pay for that). We could not charge him with anything, but we told him that if he came back we were gonna arrest him for trespassing. The guy denied everything of course, and left without any further incidents. We never saw those guys again; I think maybe they

went to K-Mart or Target. Here’s the thing, WalMart may be open to the public, but technically, and legally it is still considered “private property.” WalMart has the right to tell anybody to leave and not come back, and if they do come back, they can be arrested for trespassing on private property. They are apprehended and handed over to the cops. WalMart wants to have persons sign a trespass form, but the whole trespass thing can be done verbally too. All you have to do is tell somebody to leave, and he or she can’t come back, and it is as simple as that. I’ve never gone to a store and stolen anything, not even when I was a kid.

Have I ever been tempted to steal something? Yes, of course I have; after all, I am only human. I’m sure everybody gets the idea to steal something at one time or another, but most of us chose not to do it. Prior to working at WalMart, I always thought that shoplifting was a crime that kids commit when they want something mom and dad won’t buy. I never knew people concoct such elaborate schemes to steal. There are people out there who just lay up all day and think of clever ways to steal stuff from stores. Prior to working at WalMart, I also perceived that shoplifters were poor people. Not so! In my two years at

WalMart, I observed different people from many walks of life stealing. One time we apprehended a married couple that actually owned their own Limousine Company, and they were extremely wealthy. And I’m sure most of us have heard about the famous case of movie star Winona Ryder who was busted for shoplifting in Beverly Hills. People from all walks of life steal, everyone from movie stars to common criminals, to old lady’s, to young people, and to even yes, very wealthy people. It happens all the time. Not only are shoplifters incredibly diverse in social/cultural and economic ways, but their methods for stealing are

just as unique as each individual. There are people who walk in real fast, take something, and run out the front exit. There are people who grab things and run out fire exits, and there are people who take things into the garden center and throw the items over the gate, leave, and retrieve it on the other side. Of course, there are people who stuff their stolen items where the sun doesn’t shine, and we even had one knucklehead who tried to steal jewelry by shoving it up his ass. The knucklehead was trying to get some jewelry for his girl. Now that’s true love right there! I understand that there are people who are reading this book because it was

written by an “insider” and their probably getting some “good ideas” from reading about other shoplifters, our security cameras, our counter measures to shoplifting, and so forth. For those of you who are planning to steal, let me explain something to you. Most shoplifters are not caught right away. They think about it, and think about it, and then one day they steal a candy bar. No big deal! But then they get to liking the thrill and excitement, and they steal something bigger, and bigger, and so forth. They steal so often they actually get pretty good at it, and they feel very comfortable and confident about their ability to get away with the goods. They get away with stealing 100 times, but

one day they make one tiny stupid mistake and get caught. So in the fascinating world of shoplifting; you can beat the security measures, but you can’t beat the game! In the end, the game will beat you! So do yourself a favor and don’t steal. Because if you do it once, you’ll likely do it again, and if you keep doing it, you’ll eventually get caught, and WalMart merchandise is cheap and overpriced anyways; it’s just not worth it. That brings me to my next case, the case of the “shoplifting bag.” This woman had developed a clever little scheme to steal from various stores. The woman dressed very well, (and she was very

attractive). She carried this big purse that was pretty expensive (she didn’t get this purse from WalMart, more like 5th avenue in Beverly Hills). This fine lady lined the inside of her purse with aluminum foil (many layers of it), and it was a very clever design. You see, most shoplifters try to get merchandise out of the packages; they go in with a knife, and they cut plastic packages, and try to remove the EAS tags to defeat the EAS alarms at the doors. The problem with that strategy is it takes too long; they attract a lot of attention that way, and so they always get caught. The fine lady with the special purse in this particular case had a different way to conceal the merchandise and defeat the EAS alarms

at the door, and that was to block the signal from the door, to the tags with aluminum foil. As mentioned earlier, she lined the inside of her purse with many layers of aluminum foil, and her plan was to very quickly put things in her purse (tags and all). When she had enough items in her purse, she zipped up her purse and walked out. The shoplifting bag actually worked for a really long time. You can put all the sensory tags you wanted in there, and walk through the doors all day long, and the EAS alarm will never go off because the aluminum foil really does block the signal. The other advantage of the shoplifting bag is that

you actually can steal items faster and without attracting much attention. This girl’s personal spin on the shoplifting bag was that she was very attractive, and she was always impeccably dressed (like she was wealthy), and people like that are always presumed innocent. The other thing she did was to come in wearing fancy shades and a fancy straw fedora hat. The hat and glasses gave her an “up class” look, but it also covered her face, and the fedora actually blocked the view of the cameras in the ceiling of her hands. So even if you were watching her on tape, you could not see her face, and you could not see her hands, and she would quickly and with great sly drop

things in her purse. She would go into the store and steal all kinds of stuff, clothes, jewelry, electronics, cosmetics, you name it. After putting the items in her purse, she would simply get something and pay for it at the registers like she was a normal shopper and walk out without any trouble from the EAS alarms. She did it many times, but one day she fucked up and got caught. On this unlucky day, she stuffed her purse, and some of the aluminum foil tore, and the tear was big enough to allow the EAS signal to detect the sensory tags, and the EAS alarm went off when she tried to walk out. Management apprehended her, and that

was how we found out about the notorious “shoplifting bag.” After she was caught, she confessed that she had been stealing successfully for years.

We were just playing around I remember a time when I was about 12 years old. My grandmother gave me

some money, and sent me to the store to get a few things for her. The store was just barely around the corner; a small little store that sold most household items. My grandmother made out a list of things to buy, gave me the money, and I was on my way. I didn’t really read the list; I just went and figured I would read it later. When I got to the store, I got one of those handheld baskets and started getting all the items on the list. As it turns out, one of the items she needed was the maxi pads. “I gotta buy this shit? What the fuck?” I said to myself as I realized what it was. I was kinda embarrassed to be seen buying that item because I’m a 12 year old boy; I got a reputation to protect. I looked around

and thought, “Man, I hope I don’t see anybody I know.” What choice did I have? I grabbed the damn “maxi pads” and went to the register. I complained to my mom about it, but she couldn’t understand why I was embarrassed to buy that item. We’ve all had situations like that in our lives. We see something in a store that we either need or want, but we’re too embarrassed to buy it. I’ve seen this issue at WalMart plenty of times. One memorable event that comes to my mind was this guy who was trying to steal women’s underwear because he liked to do a little cross dressing, but he was too embarrassed to buy the women’s clothing.

So one day, I’m chasing down this junky asshole who just stole, and he got a head start. The other guards were behind me (way behind me) as I ran at full speed. I’ve gained a lot of weight since I’ve been out of the Army, but that doesn’t seem to matter because I still had that military discipline, and I caught this junky asshole quick. I tackled this no Tshirt having crankster like a lion on the gazelle. I was on his back straddling him; he started fighting, screaming, and acting like he was all crazy. I restrained him, and I yelled, “STOP FIGHTING!” Daniel finally caught up, and he put handcuffs on him. We stood the guy up and walked him back into the

store. Nicole just stood there watching like it was no big deal. The crankster looked at me with a real serious look in his eyes. “You fucking twisted my arm. I’m gonna come back and look for you motherfucker,” The crankster said as if trying to scare me. “Don’t even think it sissy. I’d eat your ass up and shit you out like last night’s cheeseburger!” I replied. So now Daniel, the crankster, and I are all sitting in the LP office. I’m sitting there drinking a coke, and Daniel is just kicking back reading a book. The crankster is sitting handcuffed on the bench, and he’s like trying to stare me down. Nicole was out on the floor

chasing another shoplifter. “If it were one on one, and man to man; I’d kick your little fagget ass,” the crankster said in a low but menacing voice. “Is that right?” I asked. This punk ass crankster kept talking trash and making threats. “Wow! That’s a lot of big talk for a retarded, toothless, petty criminal,” I said while laughing. The crankster stood up and towered over me. His eyes were wide, and his face was red; he looked like he was little pissed off. Neither Daniel, nor I bothered even standing up; we both just sat there laughing. Meanwhile, Nicole was on the sales floor watching these two teenage girls;

they were acting very suspicious. Back in the LP office, the crankster sat down but was still trying to convince us that he was a tough guy. “If you’re all that, then why didn’t you fight me when I took your ass down?” I asked. “Cause you had me outnumbered,” the crankster replied. “Bullshit! I was alone when I tackled your dumb ass,” I said. “Oh yeah, what time do you get off work?” the crankster asked. “I work two to eleven Sundays, Mondays, and Tuesdays, and the nightshift Wednesday’s, and Thursday’s; stop by anytime,” I answered. Suddenly, Nicole came walking into the office with these two teenage girls. The girls sat on the other side of the bench

from the crankster. “Ma’am, please don’t call our parents. We’ll pay for it,” the girls said trying to plead with Nicole. Nicole looked at me with a smile on her face and said, “Look what they tried to steal.” Nicole pointed to a little box of Trojan condoms. “Ohhhh SHIT!” I said with Shock, disbelief, and an urge to laugh uncontrollably. Daniel did start laughing, and he walked out of the office. I looked at these girls, and they were so damn young. One of the girls’ was13, and the other girl was 14 years old. They looked like ordinary school girls, blonde hair, blue eyes, and little pink hearts on their backpacks. Nicole just sat there holding back her laughter as she tried to get caught up on

the paperwork. A police officer came walking in, and the crankster knew it was for him. Nicole told the officer she was a little behind on the paperwork, and the officer said, “That’s fine.” The girls sat frozen with fear as the officer started talking to the crankster and getting all of his information. The officer got some info over the radio, and he said, “This guy has outstanding warrants.” The officer eventually took the guy away, and that was the last I saw of him. Nicole looked back at the girls and said, “If you girls don’t shape up, that could be you in about 15 years.” The girls just sat there looking ashamed. “Is the cop gonna arrest us too?” One of

the girls asked in a pitiful voice. “No, you’re lucky this time,” Nicole replied. “Lucky? We’d rather go to juvenile hall than to go home. Our dad is gonna kill us,” the girl replied. Nicole turned to the girls and said, “These condoms don’t protect against STDs, including AIDs and HIV. You girls are way too young for this, and there is so much really bad stuff out there. I sincerely hope you girls get back on the right track, maybe this bust is a blessing in disguise,” Nicole explained with altruistic concern. “We were just playing around,” One of the girls replied. I thought, “Well, when you play, you pay!” Nicole had called the girl’s parents and

was now waiting for them to come and get the kids. She did not disclose any details about the case to the parents over the phone. The girl’s mother showed up about an hour later. There was a knock at the door; Nicole scooted her chair over and opened the door. A tall, blonde haired woman with blue eyes came walking in; her eyes were immediately locked on the two girls. She looked like she was concerned, but surprised and pissed off as well. “I can’t believe you girls would do this to me. You both know that your dad and I buy you practically anything you want,” the mother said with anger in her voice. “Your dad is working another over-time

shift; I called him, and told him what you did, and he is very upset with you girls,” the mother said. “Mom, we were just playing around! Yeah! We don’t even have boyfriends,” The girls replied in desperate fear. Nicole just sat in her desk facing the wall she wouldn’t even turn around to face the mother. I’m sure she felt really awkward; I know I did. “I’m very sorry for this; we’ll pay for everything,” the mother said to Nicole. “There’s no need ma’am; the girls are free to go,” Nicole replied. “You girls are so lucky these nice folks did not call the cops on you,” the mother said. “Mom we were just playing around…..” One of the girls replied. “Playing? This isn’t playing! Shoplifting is very; very

serious young lady, and you could do some major jail time for this!” The mother said with stern in her voice. “What did they steal anyways? “ The mother curiously asked. Nicole did not turn to face the mother; she did not say anything, she just held up the box of Trojan condoms for the mother to see. Mom’s eyes got real wide, her mouth got wide, and her face got red! She looked back at the girls and screamed…….”YOU GUYS ARE GONNA FUCKING GET IT! OHHH YOU JUST WAIT TIL WE GET HOME; I’M GONNA MAKE SURE YOU REALLY GET IT!!!!!” This woman started freaking out! Even I

became afraid of her! “COMMON! GET YOUR ASS’S UP; WE’RE LEAVING!” The mother continued to scream. The girls quickly got up and walked out. The mother followed closely behind them. The door had not even shut yet, and we heard a loud “WHAP” sound. It was apparent to us that one of the kids just got smacked hard. Nicole and I just looked at each other with raised eyebrows and a smile. We both knew it was ass whooping time. Here’s the thing. As I’ve stated earlier, we’ve all had situations where we either need or want something, but are too embarrassed to buy the item. Luckily,

we live in a day and age where we can now purchase such items from online and have it delivered to our doors in discreet packages. But some people must not have heard of the internet because I still saw a lot of people trying to steal what they’re too embarrassed to buy. This is where kids get into trouble because sometimes they try to steal things they cannot legally buy such as cigarettes, beer, or in this case condoms. I think those girls suffered a bit when they got home, but I do believe Nicole did them a huge favor. Those girls were planning to have sex plain and simple, and the parents becoming aware of it may have prevented that.

The woman who worked for us I was walking through the store from the back after clocking in, to the front where I needed to begin my patrol. I took the shortcut and went through Jewelry and the women’s clothing department. There was a stand near the Jewelry counter where all those little watches were. Most watches at WalMart are pretty cheap, and I really needed a new wristwatch. I stopped briefly to see if they had any good deals. They had this

black military looking watch that looked really cool on sell for only $10. “Wow! This watch is pretty damn cool looking,” I thought. I had the $10 to buy the watch, but I realized that I could easily take the watch without anybody ever knowing it. How did I know this? I’m the security guy, that’s how. I knew Nicole was not in the office, or in the store, I knew nobody was watching, and I knew the tapes were not even being monitored. I could have ripped that little watch from the package and walked out without a care or a worry in the world. So why don’t I? I don’t know. I put the package back on the stand and started walking out of the store.

Looking back on this, I couldn’t tell you why I never stole anything from WalMart. My first thought is maybe it’s my upbringing. My dad was a big time disciplinarian, and as kid, I was always afraid of getting in trouble. But that cannot be the reason that I never stole anything because other people who have stolen also had strict discipline as children, and they stole something, and they weren’t even security guards. I have a premium advantage for stealing from WalMart because I know exactly how the security works around here. I had times when I was dead broke, and I could have easily have taken merchandise without getting caught, but I

never did. I feel kind of weird openly admitting that stealing crossed my mind often, but it’s true, and the temptation was even greater for me because I knew I could get away with it. For instance, there was this one time; I was walking around the building on foot patrol. I knew Nicole was not working because I had just patrolled the parking lot, and her car was gone. I’m walking over by the garden center on the side of the store when suddenly; this bag came flying over the garden center fence from inside. The bag landed right in front of me, and it contained video games. I immediately hid hoping the shoplifter didn’t see me. I waited several minutes

behind the storage bins, hoping the thief would come back to retrieve the bag with the video games spilled out of it. Sure enough, a few minutes later, these two African American Juveniles came approaching the bag, and one of em said, “It’s over here!” The kid ran up to grab the bag, and I jumped out at him. The kid took off like a jet. I tried to catch these little bastards, but they ran off the property. I went back and retrieved the bag, and they had some pretty expensive video games in it. I couldn’t tell you how they got the games out of electronics, nor did I give a shit. They probably asked for them reassuring they were gonna pay for it up

front, or an adult could have done that and passed them off to the kids (thieves use kids to steal because kids can’t go to jail). I walked into the store, and nobody was even looking for this merchandise. I turned the merchandise over to management, and told them some kids just tried to get over on us. I could have just taken that shit and put it in my car, and who would know? So why did I turn the merchandise in? I don’t particularly look down on shoplifters or thieves, and I don’t really care that WalMart loses money either. The way I see it, WalMart is a very hostile and greedy company masked behind that stupid, phony,

yellow smiley face on their commercials. WalMart can lose absolutely everything tomorrow, and I would not give a shit (I do most of my shopping at Amazon anyways). Perhaps shoplifting just isn’t my thing. I’m not particularly against stealing per se (especially in this economy), but it’s just not for me. Everything that I just told you is probably the same thing our next shoplifter was thinking. Like me, she worked for WalMart, and also like me she was overworked, underpaid, and not really appreciated. She struggled financially, and she was an honest person most of the time. She was having

personal difficulties, and at some point she came to despise the giant retailer. Also like me, she probably thought about stealing often. Unlike me, she didn’t work in security, and at some point she decided to actually cross the line and act on her impulses. The temptation must have been pretty strong because she tried to steal a lot of stuff. It was a cold day, and I was such soda addict that I was trying to buy one of those large cokes from McDonald’s. I didn’t have enough money, so I went to get some change out of my car, so I’m in my car digging around and getting quarters, nickels, and dimes. When I finally had enough money, I locked up

my car and headed back inside. On my way, I heard a call come over the radio, “I need security to the LP office please.” I sighed with disappointment; I was gonna have to feed my addiction later. Upon my arrival into the LP office, I see this shopping cart filled to the max with all kinds of stuff (even the bottom of the basket was stuffed). These two Hispanic females, one adult, and one Juvenile sat on the notorious shoplifting bench. At first, I thought this was just another ordinary case of a woman playing supermarket sweep on a shoplifting spree, but as it turns out, they had the true culprit in the manager’s office. The Hispanic woman in front of me was scared out of her mind. All of

the merchandise had been bagged up, and she had this great big long receipt for supposedly all the stuff, but it was an old receipt. The girl was so scared she was vomiting, (unfortunately, I’ve seen this many times and was now conditioned to it). I got her a trash can, and she continued vomiting. I hated cases like this because they were so much damn work! We gotta take everything out, take pictures of it, write it down on the LP report, and a full cart means hours of taking pictures and logging stuff down. Despite feeling a bit under the weather, the Hispanic woman managed to tell us that this was not her idea. She stated to us that she came

down to the store with her daughter, and she met her cousin who was on duty and was working in Pharmacy. Her cousin had a shopping cart full of merchandise that was already bagged up, and handed her the shopping cart, receipt, house keys, and asked her to take the items home for her because she was working. The shoplifting suspect stopped vomiting long enough to tell us that she had no idea that the merchandise was stolen. She begged us not to turn her over to the cops. “Okay, you had no idea this stuff was not paid for?” Nicole asked. “No, I didn’t know, I swear!” The suspect said. Nicole suddenly left the office and went into the manager’s office to tell management what the lady had just told

her. Moments later, Nicole came back in with the manager and told me to go keep an eye on the other one in the other office. I said, “Okay,” and went to the manager’s office. I saw the woman who worked for us, now identified as the true culprit. She sat slouched in the chair with her arms crossed in front of her. She seemed cold and uncaring, almost defiant with contempt. I stood in front of her, and she would not look at me. It was awkwardly quiet, and I started thinking about how stealing crossed my mind from time to time. I knew that could just have easily have been me sitting there. I knew this was likely not her first time stealing something because

nobody starts off stealing a whole basket; they usually start by stealing small stuff, and work their way up to the bigger stuff. You see, people who steal usually think about it first, they keep thinking about it, and then one day they do it. They get away with it, but they start doing it more and more. They start off by lifting a $10 wristwatch, and then a few video games, and the next thing you know their walking out the store with an entire shopping cart full of all kinds of merchandise. I could only imagine the level of fear and embarrassment one would feel after being caught doing something like that. In a strange way, I do not judge people

like that just for the simple fact that I get the impulse the steal myself. I never have stolen from a store, but nobody knows why; I know myself better than anybody else, and I don’t even know why I don’t steal. I don’t know what makes people steal either. I’ve heard theories; some say it’s a neurological problem, some say it’s a subconscious cry for help, others say it’s linked to self-defeating personality disorders, and some even say that social issues like poverty contributes to it. All of those theories sound good to me, but nobody knows for sure. Sometime later, I ended up back in the LP office, and I was again guarding the “innocent one, the patsy.” She kept insisting that she had no idea

the stuff was stolen. Her story didn’t really make sense to me. I’m so sure, your cousin calls you up out of the blue, and asks you to take her merchandise home for her because she’s working? That sounds suspiciously to me like a bunch of fucking bullshit. Later, the manager came back in with this form, and he told the lady that if she makes a statement, pointing all the blame on the woman who worked for us, they would let her go. The manager told her she had to sign this form, and the top of the form says……”I____ (your name) ___, am making this statement on my own free will, and under no duress. I have not been offered any promises, money, or

other benefits to make this statement.” No shit, that’s what it says almost word for word. I’m making this statement on my own free will, and under no duress??? Give me a fucking break! She was under so much duress she was vomiting, and she was not only told to write that statement, she was told what to say on it. She was also promised freedom, to walk out of the store a free woman. Never-the-less, she signed the form, and she said in her written statement that her cousin asked her to take the items to her house for her because she was working and assured her the items had already been paid for. Soon after writing that statement, she was released with no further charges.

Her cousin (the woman who worked for us) was not so lucky. She was arrested for grand theft, and embezzlement. The woman who worked for us straight up went to jail! Later that night, I went through the register when my shift ended. I bought a few things, including that military type watch I was looking at earlier. I could have gotten the “five finger discount” on that watch, but it’s like I said, shoplifting really isn’t my thing. The cashier at the register asked me about the other employee who got busted earlier; everybody was talking about it. I said something to the effect of, “Unfortunately, she let those silly

impulses’ get the best of her.” Here’s the thing, I believe that woman knew the stuff was stolen. I think she got a piece of the pie as far as stolen goods goes. What you must understand is that when people steal in partnerships, and they get caught, they almost always drop the dime on each other. I’ve done seen all kinds of people turn on each other; I’ve even seen mother and daughter turn on each other. As I recall, that cool looking military type watch turned out to be a cheap piece of shit that broke like a few weeks later. I thought about how pissed I’d be if I got busted stealing that watch, and going to jail over that watch, just for it to

be broken a few weeks later. Like I said; it’s just not worth it.

Do what you gotta do I was sitting in the LP office on my break and was reading one of Nicole’s books “Who moved my cheese” by Spencer

Johnson. The book talks about adapting to change in your life, and the negative consequences that can result from failure to adapt to that change. The book made some sense to me; my life was constantly changing. This was a time during my stay at WalMart when I started to experience the change that just happens in life. I was scheduled to go to bounty hunter school. This was a three-day course that covers the basic stuff about fugitive recovery needed to be a bail enforcement agent. I had taken some personal days to go and do this training. I figured that I was already a good private investigator, why not add some spice to the mix and track down

criminals? Things were changing around WalMart as well. Randy had left already, and our district loss prevention supervisor had left, and this other guy took his place. The new district loss prevention supervisor was this mean little bastard named John Nicholas. People were coming and going, and things were changing around the store too. There were a few changes going on inside me as well. I started gaining weight, and I was not training as much as I used to. I went from training like three-hour sessions, three nights per week, to maybe training for one-hour sessions like two times a week.

Sometimes I didn’t train at all. I also started sleeping in late, and I was constantly arriving for work late. It was like I was worn down. I had been juggling martial arts, and two jobs, for so long that it was starting to take its toll on me. I was tired, and I kept arriving late and taking a little longer on my breaks. My mentality when I started at WalMart was that I was extremely motivated and was ready to take over the whole world, and now my mentality was like, “screw the world; I’m just trying to make it through the day.” I went to bounty hunter school. This was probably one of the most interesting three days of my life. We started out

having classes on the law, and how bail works, and then we started doing things like picking locks, special surveillance tactics, and apprehension strategies. I also did a little traveling. I went away and stayed in a cheap motel. I love living in a hotel; somebody always makes your bed for you. At the end of this course, I got this little certificate and could now get an entry position as a bail enforcement agent. The best part about it was I was away from WalMart for like a week (my days off plus three more). This gave me a little breather, and I needed a break badly. Nicole and Neil were standing talking by the LP office, and I came walking up.

Neil turned and pointed to me, “Here’s Ricky,” he said. They both walked up to me, “Hey man how was bounty hunter school?” Neil asked. I just smirked and said, “It was really fun, you should try it some time,” I was now ready to return to work, and I sort of felt rejuvenated. I resolved that I would return to work and get back into training like I had been doing. I was starting to lose myself, but I knew I would get back on the right track and accomplish my goals. My job with Pearsy was getting easier as well. I was starting to get pretty damn good at mobile surveillance, and Pearsy had me training other new private investigators. I was not just training

with Pearsy, however. I took various courses and read many books about investigative tactics and how to track people down. I found the work I did to be both exciting and rewarding, even though the pay sucks. I watched a lot of movies about private investigators, and they all had karate chops, gun fights, super models, and explosions. The private investigators in the movies always made really good money too. I would watch movies like that and say to myself, “What a crock of shit!” So one morning, I was asleep in my bed, and I was really, really, tired. My alarm had gone off, and I must have hit the snooze button or something because I

don’t even remember waking up. Later, I was still like dead asleep, and I sort of woke up to the sound of my cell phone ringing. I was like half awake and half asleep. I heard my phone ringing, but yet it’s like it didn’t process that I needed to get up. My phone rang again, and again, and then I finally answered it. Phone: Ring, ring, ring. Me: Hello? Daniel: Hey Ricky! Where are you at man? Its 3:00pm!! Me: (jumping awake) “OH SHIT!” Daniel: Just hurry up and get down here man! Me: (Already getting dressed) Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I must have overslept.

Daniel just hung up the phone. I could tell he must have been really pissed off at me. I was supposed to be at work at 2:00pm, and here it was almost 3:30. I couldn’t believe that I pulled this shit; I’m better than that! I struggled to get my uniform on. “No call and no show? Wow! Really Ricky? Sleeping in the after-fucking-noon?? I said to myself as I hurried out the door. “I’m so fucking fired!” I said as I pulled out of my driveway. I finally arrived at work, I was walked in looking like I was hung over; my hair wasn’t even combed. I clocked in and stepped into the LP office. Nicole and Daniel were both

sitting in there. “I’m sorry, I’m late as fuck,” I said. They both just sat there quietly. I knew right away that something was wrong; I can expect Nicole to be quiet and mysterious but not Daniel. I got a radio and left the office; neither of them said anything to me. I got outside, and Neil was standing out there in front of the store, and even he was real quiet. “What the fuck is wrong with you guys? Everybody is acting like somebody died,” I said out of frustration. “Nicole might get fired,” Neil said to me. “Nicole might get fired? What the fuck for?” I asked. “She and Daniel chased a guy off of the property,” Neil answered. “Tell me what happened,” I demanded. Neil went

on to tell me the story, and the story goes like this…. Nicole was watching this guy who was in the store stealing. She called Daniel and told him to meet her at the front for an apprehension. Daniel and Neil arrived at the front and waited for the shoplifter to come out. The shoplifter was this huge African American male, and when they confronted him he started fighting. Neil was cowering in the corner, afraid to get involved, but Nicole and Daniel wrestled the guy to the ground. Nicole did not have her handcuffs with her, so they could not cuff him. At some point, they let him up and started walking him back inside the store. On their way back

to the LP office, the guy broke free and took off running down the aisles. The shoplifting suspect ran out of the store and out of the parking lot. He ran down the street and made it to this old folk’s home. The suspect decided to hide, and knocked on an old man’s door. When the old man opened the door, the shoplifting suspect pushed his way into the old man’s home and hid in his shower. Nicole and Daniel chased the guy all the way off property, down the street, and entered the elderly man’s home, and dragged that piece of shit out of the shower. By then the cops came and took the shoplifter into custody. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I asked.

“No….this place won’t be the same without Nicole,” Neil said looking like he wanted to cry. I walked away from Neil; his coward ass makes me sick to look at. The guy no doubt would not have made it that far if Neil had been backing them up. Then again it’s my fault too because I was supposed to be here, and I wasn’t, and there is no way that guy would have out ran me. Later, I was driving around in the patrol vehicle, and I saw John Nicolas approaching the store. John Nicolas was the District Loss Prevention Supervisor, which is like our big boss. I mean, he’s the supervisor for the whole district. I got on my radio and alerted everybody. “The DLPS is here,” I said on the radio.

I knew this was gonna be bad; Nicole really screwed up this time. I’m in the vehicle, driving around, and I saw Neil walking around looking whipped; he looked as if he just wanted to be left alone. There was this silent fear and sadness among us in the security department. We all loved Nicole; she was a damn good store detective. Nicole was one of those quiet and mysterious types too, the kind of girl that you could never tell what she’s thinking. She was nice, and had a great sense of humor, but she could be tough when she had to be. A short time later, I saw Nicole coming out of the store. She was headed to her car, and she was acting

like nothing had happened. Neil and Daniel walked up to her, and the three of em started talking. Then I drove up and rolled down the window. “That’s bullshit!” I heard Neil say. “It is what it is,” Nicole simply replied. Daniel turned to me and said, “They’re suspending her pending a decision,” I didn’t know what to say, I blurted out something to the effect of, “Nicole, I’m sorry, but don’t worry; everything is gonna be alright.” Nicole just smiled and nodded her head in agreement. Nicole said her farewells, and went to her car and drove off. Here’s the thing, Loss prevention in general is guided by certain rules,

principles, and laws. These guidance rules stem from mistakes that people have made in the past; mistakes that have cost retailers dearly in lawsuits and liabilities. One of the main rules is that you do not pursue a shoplifter off property, no matter what. So if you went to stop a shoplifter, and he takes off; you’d better catch the prick before he makes it off the property, or you gotta let him go. It does not matter the dollar amount; they could have taken $20,000 in cold, hard, cash, but once they’re off the property you cannot pursue them. The reason you have to stop pursuing them is because of liability. If you chase a guy down the street, and he whips out a little knife and sticks you; the store is not

gonna want to pay the insurance money for you because technically you were not on the job site when the life threatening injury occurred. There are other reasons you cannot pursue people off the property, but I think you get the point. The problem is shoplifters get pursued off the property all the time. What happens is that the people chasing them get so pissed off, and their adrenaline is going, and they get so wrapped up in the pursuit that they don’t think straight. Greed is also a factor, an assistant manager chasing a guy who just stole a thousand dollar laptop will likely not let that merchandise go; I’ve seen store managers get in their cars and chase

shoplifters across town! Ignorance of the law also plays a role. For instance, if you got a bunch of stockmen, cashiers, and their chasing a shoplifter, they don’t know you can’t chase them off property; they think they are “in the right,” and, therefore, can do anything they want. Chasing thieves off the property is one of those great big things that people are not supposed to do, but nearly everybody does it anyways. The bottom line is this; if you’re a shoplifter on the run for dear freedom, and you make it off property; technically you’re safe, but in reality you’re not. If a store manager chases you down and gets you; you’ll still go to jail.

Me personally, I’ve never pursued a thief off the property. I’m not afraid to, and it’s not that I’m lazy; I just don’t give a shit. WalMart loses a thousand dollar laptop that’s their fucking problem. I still get paid the same, and that’s not my computer that just went bye-bye. I have, however, hurled insults at a shoplifter upon seeing them cross the border between grand theft and freedom. Like this one time, I was chasing this dude; he made it across the street, and I yelled out, “Enjoy it, you son of a whore!!” The guy stopped, turned around, gave me the finger, and yelled back, “Fuck you!” The guy continued running after we exchanged

insults; I laughed my ass off over that incident. Daniel got into the security vehicle with me, and he slammed the door shut upon getting in. I thought he was gonna chew my ass for being so damn late, but he was pissed off about something else. Our conversation went something like this… Daniel: John is a fucking piece of shit! Me: He’s typical WalMart corporate asshole; what do you expect? Daniel: Check this shit out man! John is pissed off at Nicole for chasing that guy off of the property, but John himself chased a guy off the property just the other day.

Me: When was this?” Daniel: This shit went down the other day when you were at bounty hunter school Me: What happened? Daniel: Nicole, John, and me were chasing this Mexican dude and he ran off the property and hid in the thick bushes across the street. John started throwing rocks into the bushes and was yelling ‘come out Paco’ and talking shit. John was saying ‘Paco’ in a disrespecting tone, like he was insulting dude because he was Mexican. Me: So John not only chased a guy off of the property, but he was trying to throw rocks at him too?” Daniel: Yeah! You fucking believe that

shit? And now he’s probably gonna fire Nicole for chasing this dude off the property! I chased the guy off of the property too, but Nicole took all the blame for me! She put herself at risk to help me out. Me: That’s fucked up! Daniel: I know that John has been training this new guy to be an in-store LP, and he wants him to work this store; getting rid of Nicole was his plan from the start. Me: Oh now that’s bullshit! Daniel: John is a fucking racist man! He’s replacing Nicole; who is a Hispanic female with years of experience, for this 19 year old white guy with no experience.

How can such an injustice occur? And what can we do about it? The store no longer had an in-store loss prevention associate, which means that it was pretty much open season on all the merchandise in there. Everybody in security was sort of demoralized. Nicole was more than just an associate; she was a leader, a friend, and she always looked out for us. Besides all that friendship stuff; Nicole was scary good at her job. I don’t think I could have done a better job myself, and I’m a damn private investigator. Now the DLPS is gonna bring in some young kid with no security experience, no loss prevention experience, and this kid is

supposed to do what Nicole does? I have no doubt that this kid will be good at his job, but I know he won’t be as good as Nicole. Everybody in security hated the new DLPS. John Nicolas was an asshole, and he seemed to be on a power trip. Nicole was scheduled to come in and see John Nicolas on another day, and at that time he would determine what he wanted to do with her. The meeting was gonna be in a few days, and we all were sort of sitting on the edges of our seats. Later that night, I was on patrol, and I got a call over the radio, “We have a code 89; we need security!” I went into the store and casually walked to the

department that had paged for me. The associate there was pointing out these kids, and she was saying, “I think them kids are stealing! Keep an eye on them!” I looked at her kind of strange and I asked, “Why?” She looked at me weird and said, “Because it’s your job!” I told her that my job is actually to patrol the parking lot, and that I have nothing to do with inside the store. I could have told those kids to get lost, and I could have done a lot of things. The truth is, I had reached a point where I really did not care if people were stealing. I went back out to the parking lot and continued my patrol. It was a cold morning, and Nicole was

scheduled to come in and talk to John the DLPS. I called her that morning and wished her well. I told her that everything will be okay. Typical Nicole was not much for words. It’s like I said, she was a silent and mysterious type. All she said to me was, “Whatever happens, happens.” She came in wearing plain clothes like always. She did not wear makeup, and she sort of dressed down. She always did, which was sort of her style. She came in, and she, John, and an assistant manager went into the manager’s office. They closed the door and were in there for only a few minutes. John sat across from her and started kind of taunting her with

questions like, “Do you know why we are here today?” “Yes,” Nicole replied with simplicity. John briefly went over the policy stating that we are not to pursue shoplifters off the property, no matter what. “I understand the policy,” Nicole said as she just sat there sort of slouched in the chair. She was quiet, cold, and seemingly uncaring. “Do you care to explain yourself young lady?” John asked as if challenging her. “There’s nothing to explain; you have my report, and you know all the facts,” Nicole answered without emotion. John leaned forward in his chair and asked, “Nicole, what am I to do with you?” Nicole cracked a slight smile, leaned forward, and said, “Do what you gotta

do.”

The Police Informant I was driving around in the patrol vehicle, and I saw Nicole come out of the store. She was walking to her car in her normal casual way. I was anxious to hear the outcome of her situation, so I parked the car and jumped out. Daniel and Neil were already talking to her; she was telling them everything that was said in the meeting, and she told them the outcome. I walked up and felt awkward; I said nothing and just listened in. There was good news, and bad news. The good news was Nicole was not fired from WalMart (if you can call that good news), but the bad news was she would

no longer be an In-Store Loss Prevention Associate. John decided that since she worked for the company for a long time, he’d let her keep working for the company, but he assigned her to “Division One.” Division one is what I would call the “regular WalMart workers.” Division one are the cashiers, sales floor associates, stockmen, janitors, and you pretty much get the point. They were sending her to another store, as a sales floor associate. Daniel was shocked, I was speechless, and fucking wimpy ass Neil was pacing around and crying. Nicole was not crying; in fact, she was acting like nothing had happened. I don’t know if Nicole ever felt emotions because as far

as I could tell that girl had ice cold water running through her veins. She said her goodbyes; she told us to take care, and she got in her car and left. We were all sorry to see her go. We did not have an in-store loss prevention associate for a few days. The DLPS was sending us this other guy who was to replace Nicole temporarily, and he had been a loss prevention associate for a while. His name was Steve, and he was from another store. Steve was actually trained by Nicole a long time ago, and he knew his stuff. His job was to be the in-store security for a while, and he would help train the new guy who was coming in. Steve

was young, strong, a white male in his mid-twenties; he had a beer belly, and he acted piggish. The funny thing about Steve is he looked exactly like Scot Peterson. We all had a laugh, and this was during the whole trial thing that was all over the news, and this guy comes along and looks exactly like the dude on TV who is suspected of murdering his pregnant wife. Steve was easy-going and was easy to talk with. Change…it’s not always a good thing. A few days later, we received the new guy. He was everything Daniel described, young, inexperienced, and had a lot to learn. We welcomed him in, and he seemed to catch on fast, and in no time he was busting shoplifters. Everybody was

moving on after Nicole left us, but we all still felt sad that she was gone. Things did get busy, after all, we had two in-store detectives now, and I knew the shoplifters were gonna be in for a bad day. People were getting busted left and right. I could not tell you all the stories of all the shit that I saw at this point. There are a few stories, which have stuck out in mind, however, and one of them that I will never forget was the notorious police informant. So another cold and miserable day, I’m driving around in the security vehicle, listening to music, but I’m watching for suspicious activity in the parking lot. I see Neil doing what he does best;

standing around eating hot dogs, talking, laughing, and having a real good time. He was not even watching the parking lot. Neil’s laziness was as big and notable as his cowardice. I could not stand to look at the son of a bitch. He did not like me either, and we had many arguments. I kept trying to tell people how fucking lazy, cowardly, and incompetent he was, but nobody believed me. Never-the-less, here I am doing all of the patrolling. Suddenly, we got a call on the radio, “We need security to the garden center exit please.” I started driving over there. Neil was still standing and talking as if he did not hear the radio. I was gonna stop and pick him up to take him down

there, but why bother? After all, he’s fucking worthless anyways. So I went down there, and I quickly parked the security vehicle. I’m standing waiting by the door, and my adrenaline is running. I have no idea what or who is about to come out of that door. All of this sudden, two older white males come walking out, and they look like the kind of shirtless, toothless, scum you’d see on a typical episode of “Cops.” They were all dirty and strung out looking with tattoos and shabby clothing. I knew right away they had to be those we were stopping. Sure enough, Steve came running out and startled them with a shout, “Hey, I’m

WalMart security! You guys have merchandise that you failed to pay for, and I need you to come with me!” Steve grabbed the first guy, who was the older of the two, and I grabbed the other guy. I grabbed his wrist and twisted it into a wristlock. I applied just enough pressure to control him as I walked him back into the store. I did not apply excess pressure, and at no time was he in any pain. I simply did that because I didn’t have handcuffs, and the wrist hold gives me more control over the suspect. We walked the two suspects into the back LP office quietly and without incident. These two suspects sat on the bench, and we start doing the paperwork

to process them. We already know we are calling the police; we just don’t say anything to keep them calm. All of this sudden, the younger suspect asks, “May I please speak to one of you guys alone?” “What do you need?” I asked. “I need to speak to someone alone; it’s real important,” the younger suspect says. “Well, you have to tell us what this is about,” I said. “All I can say right now is it’s not about him,” the suspect said while pointing to his friend. I looked at the in-store, and I said, “Okay, let’s go.” Me and the in-store led the suspect out of the office and stood with him just outside the door. The suspect took out a Bakersfield Police Detective’s business card and said, “I’m a confidential

informant, and I’m currently in the middle of a criminal investigation. You need to contact this detective, and he’ll vouch for me and tell you to let me go,” the suspect said. “Ah, we’re going to call the police, and when they get here you’ll have to explain that to them,” I said. We led the suspect back in the room, and he rejoined his buddy who had a confused look on his face. I’d be a little confused too; he’s over here shoplifting, and he has no idea that his partner in crime is a rat for the rat squad. The two suspects just sat there quietly until the police arrived. The older gentleman is the guy who stole most of the stuff, and as far as we could

tell, his younger buddy (the rat) helped him. If you go in the store with somebody, and he’s stealing, and you’re over there acting like the “look out.” You’re both actually committing the crime. So while the older gentleman did most of the thieving, the rat was helping him, it’s sort of like being an accessory. So the cops show up. You always know it’s the cops because they always knock real loud on the door. I open the door, and right away the rat starts asking the officer to speak to him alone. “I’ll be with you in just a moment sir,” the officer said. Steve started explaining to the cops how these guys came into the store, and described their method for

stealing, and what they stole. The suspects just sat there quietly and patiently. The officers turned to the suspects after speaking with Steve and started getting their information from them. The rat asked again if he could talk to the officers’ alone, but the officers’ again refused and told him to keep quiet. The officer starts reading the suspects their Miranda rights and asks, “Do you have any questions about your Miranda rights?” The rat shows the cop the detective’s business card and says, “I’m a confidential informant; you need to contact this detective for instructions.” “I don’t need to do shit! You have the right to remain silent so

shut the fuck up! That detective ain’t supposed to get you out of trouble anyways,” the officer shouted with frustration. I almost busted out laughing as I sort of knew that guy was going to jail regardless of the fact that he is a rat. The officer cuffed both suspects, and one of the officers started walking the older suspect to the police car out front. Before the second officer could take the rat away, the rat looked at me and said, “I stole a baseball cap, and I still have it.” “Where is it?” I asked. “I stuffed it down my pants,” The rat said. I told the in-store that he stole the baseball cap, to which he said, “I ain’t going after it.” I looked over at the police officer, and he

said, “Don’t look at me; it’s your merchandise pal.” I stood silent, angry, and disgusted because I now knew what I had to do. I had to get a glove on and get that baseball cap. The suspect was already handcuffed, and once they go on, they don’t come off. So I had to put on a latex glove, and I unzipped the guy’s pants, reached in, and grabbed the damn baseball cap, and pulled it out. It was soaking wet! “Did you fucking piss in your pants or something?” I asked the rat/thief. “Yep, I sure did,” the rat stated in defiance. “I sincerely hope that the other inmates find out that you’re a rat for the rat squad, so they can deal with you properly, you asshole!” I shouted. The officer started laughing, and he took

the thief and started walking him out. Steve was laughing as well, “You’re holding a cap with duck butter all over it,” he said. I stood there holding that hat like I was in a state of shock. “What do we do with this piece of shit?” I asked. “Take a picture of it, get the UPC code, and throw it in the fucking trash,” Steve replied. Steve got on the phone with Nicole, and started telling her what happened. I felt embarrassed, disgusted, and I left to go wash my hands extremely well. “Tell Nicole I said Hi,” I said as I walked out the LP office.

The Bank Robber I had this routine that I followed every day. I got up in the morning, and I ran my errands or worked for Pearsy. Then in the afternoon, I came to work at WalMart. I would scrounge for change and get whatever money I could (I was often broke). I came to work with my car radio blasting, and I would park my car in the back of the parking lot where all the employees are forced to park. I

then made the walk from my car to the time clock and clocked in, usually at least five minutes late. I then walked into the LP office and checked the tapes. It was standard operating procedure to check the tapes, but I had to make sure I did it whenever I came in because some of the other guards (Mostly Neil) were too fucking lazy to change the tapes like ever. I would get myself a radio, and get the key to the security vehicle for patrol because some of the other guards were too lazy to do that too. I would stop at the McDonald’s in the store and get myself a coke, and go out to the parking lot to start my patrol. The other guards that I worked with were always really lackadaisical. The other guards mostly

stood around socializing with the customers, or the other associates. Whenever I saw them they were usually eating, talking, laughing, and having a good time. I am kind of laid back myself, and I certainly can relate to the relaxing attitude, but this is private security. You gotta constantly be on the lookout because you just never know what’s gonna happen next. This is a job where the thief has a gun, and your next apprehension can be your last. When I was in the Army, I was going through this landmine warfare course that’s standard training for all infantry soldiers. The cadre sergeant who trained us had also trained Oklahoma

City bomber Timothy McVeigh years earlier. The cadre sergeant remembered Timothy McVeigh vividly because there was something about him that was just very unusual. The cadre sergeant described McVeigh as, “A loner, very quiet, and seemed to be off in his own little world.” The cadre sergeant also told us that McVeigh had this look in his eyes like he was fucking crazy or something. The cadre sergeant said something that I will never forget; he said, “You just never know what the guy next to you is capable of.” Of course, they guy next to you turning out to be a psychopathic killer is really nothing new to me; after all, I am from Bakersfield, California.

There was a guy who worked next to me who had a little bit of craziness in him. I worked at a WalMart in a shopping center, and next to WalMart there was a Von’s and inside that Von’s they had this Wells Fargo bank. This guy named Ryan Campbell worked as a teller at that Wells Fargo bank inside the Von’s. Campbell was a white male, about 20 years old, and maybe 5’7, and 130 LBS. Campbell, like me, also had a routine. He likely got up early in the morning to work the nine to five hours of a typical bank. I imagine he’d do something like a get a fancy coffee from Starbucks, come on in to work, and help customers with their accounts all day. Campbell drove

a nice fucking car, and he dressed very well. He was well spoken with a soft toned voice. I don’t know if Campbell attended college or not, but I’d be surprised if he didn’t because he seemed like he was smart. On the outward appearance, he seemed like a typical kid with a nice job and a little money in his pocket. The problem was as it turns out, Campbell was taking money that did not belong to him. I don’t know why he did it. My personal take on it, Campbell likely got addicted to a certain kind of elegant lifestyle of money, nice clothes, fancy cars, night clubs, and hot girls. Whatever his motivation was, it must have been pretty pressing because this kid was embezzling a lot of money from

the bank that he worked at. First he forged a check for the amount of $10,000 and endorsed it to himself. He transferred the money into his own bank account. And then he took another check, also for $10,000 and again put it in his account. Well, the customer went into the bank to find out what the heck happened to $20,000 of his hard-earned money. The transactions were traced back to this kid, and the bank found out what he had been doing. Campbell was fired immediately, and the bank manager referred the matter to the proper authorities who began investigating Campbell for fraud and embezzlement. It’s so sad to see a young man with so

much potential overwhelmed by the money problems in his life. Campbell was looking at his first long stretch in jail; he knew it. I imagined the pressure was mounting so bad that his head was probably splitting down in the middle. Campbell was a desperate man; he had a gun, and that is always a very promising combination. And so one night I’m driving around in the security vehicle, and I’m feeling tired and sluggish after many hours of constantly patrolling. Security is a job that is 100 hours of boredom, and five minutes of exhilarating excitement. I get a call on the radio from Steve, “Ricky, meet me at the front of the store Quick!”

I quickly parked the vehicle and stood by the front door. Our suspect comes out of the store, and he is very well dressed. We stopped him, and introduced ourselves as loss prevention, and we walked him back inside the store. The kid came quietly and without incident; he was a young white male, about 20 years of age and about 5’7, and maybe 130 LBS. He looked nice, and he looked like he had money. He was polite and very soft spoken; I can’t remember what he had stolen. The welldressed suspect sat there in our office with his arms crossed in front of him as he answered Steve’s questions. Steve asked him where he works, and the suspect stated that he was a teller at the

Wells Fargo bank next door to us. Moments later, we heard the unmistakable sound of the cop knocking at the door. I opened the door, and this cop walks in, and he starts going over the case with Steve. The suspect just sat there calmly while the officer talked to Steve. At one point, the officer sat down in a chair and asked the suspect for identification. The suspect handed over his wallet without saying a word. The officer opened the wallet and took out a driver’s license. The police use this information to run your name, and driver’s license number through their database to figure out if you have any warrants out for your arrest. If you don’t

have any warrants they usually just do a “cite and release,” which, means that they give you a citation (like a traffic ticket), and they let you go. I was sure this suspect’s record would come back clean, and it did. But the officer found something else in the wallet. The police officer took out this piece of paper that had been typed. The paper was about the size of a standard bookmark, and it read….”This is a robbery. Give me all of the money starting with the large denominations first. This is not a joke; give me the money or else!” The officer read the paper silently, and then he just looked at the suspect. I never will forget the way the officer looked at the suspect. If looks can kill, that young man

would be dead already. The officer put that piece of paper down on the desk and said nothing. The officer and the suspect were not talking, but if looks could kill they’d probably both be dead. Suddenly, the officer picked up the paper again and read it aloud. “I bought that wallet at a swap meet sir, and that paper was already in it,” the suspect stated. “That’s a bunch of bullshit,” I thought. I’ve seen a lot of crazy shit working security, but this young suspect took me by surprise. I did not figure him for a robber. The thing is the cop had to let him go. The kid stole some stuff, but it was just petty theft; he was currently under investigation, but he had no

warrants or anything. Of course, this young man turned out to be Ryan Campbell, and his crime spree was far from over, in fact, he was just warming up. A couple of days later, I came into work and Steve was in the LP office. As soon as I walked in Steve looked at me with this smile of excitement on his face. “Hey Ricky, do you remember that kid we apprehended a couple of nights ago?” Steve asked. “Which kid are you referring to?” I asked. “You know, the kid with that note in his wallet,” Steve said. “Oh yeah, what about him?” I asked. “He robbed this bank next to us!” Steve said barely able to contain his excitement.

“What the fuck! The Wells Fargo next door?” I asked. “Yeah! He’s all over the fucking news!” Steve said. Steve showed me this newspaper that had Campbell’s picture on it. A couple of days after he stole from our store, he walked into the bank with a gun and robbed the place. The manager told the cops that he recognized his voice. He walked out of the bank with an undisclosed amount of money. The last thing I heard of this kid; he was still on the loose.

The Handicapped Boy I was at home playing video games when my cell phone started ringing. “Hello,” I answered. “Hi Rick, this is Daniel,” he said.” “Hi Daniel, what’s cracking?” I asked. “John Nickolas got fired,” Daniel said. “Ahhhh, that is really super; I’m glad he’s fired, and I hope that he gets fired from the planet,” I said as a continued playing my game. Daniel just started laughing, and he said, “I just called to let you know what’s up.” “Thanks Daniel, I appreciate it,” I said. Of course, I don’t have the slightest idea why old John Nickolas got fired; I did

not have anything to do with his termination, nor did I hear anything else. But if I had to guess why he got “iced” it’s because he was a fucking asshole. Everybody else in security was glad to hear he was gone. Later that night, I was at work, and I had been receiving complaints about this crazy lady that was at the bus stop. Apparently, she was out there asking for money, and when people refused, she would go all crazy and start cussing them out. So I come walking up, and this crazy lady sees me coming, and she yells out, “YOU BETTER STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” She ran over to this guy who was sitting at the bus

bench. I assumed they were a couple; he sat there like was gonna protect his woman. This man and woman were white, in their late 30’s or mid 40’s, and they looked as if they were homeless or something. Of course, I thought they were not homeless, likely just a couple of fools from some poverty stricken trailer park. “Ma’am, you can’t be out here asking for change,” I said calmly. “I’m not asking for change Mr. fucking asshole,” the woman replied while sitting next to her partner. “Yes you are. I’ve received numerous complaints, and if I have any more complaints there’s gonna be trouble,” I said. “You don’t wanna fuck with us man; you really don’t,” the man said to me with a

threatening tone. “I’ll bet you’re right about that because I think I might actually catch a disease from your filthy, gutter infected ass,” I replied out of pure anger. The man did not reply to me; he just sat there looking like he was a little pissed off. “You think you’re the shit because you make about nine dollars an hour at WalMart,” the woman said as if trying to belittle me. “Ma’am don’t knock how much money I make; I ain’t the one in my mid 40’s, looking like a damn bum, and asking for money at a bus stop,” I replied. After arguing with these scum bags, I went back inside for yet another apprehension. I walked in the LP office and saw a guy

in there that I never have seen before. He was a Hispanic male, in his mid-30s, about 5’8, and 240 LBS. He was wearing plain clothes with this WalMart loss prevention badge on. “Hi, I’m Gary,” he said as he extended his hand to me. “Hello, I’m Ricky,” I replied shaking his hand. “I’m gonna be replacing Nicole permanently, and I’ll be training and supervising both Steve, Joe, and all you guards,” Gary said. “Super,” I retorted. I had hoped to get Nicole back, but from what I was hearing she was not coming back. “So what do we got here Gary,” I asked looking at this young boy, and an older woman sitting on the bench. Gary pointed at the kid and said, “He was in

here stealing, and I guess this is his mother.” The kid stood up and shouted, “I WAS NOT STEALING!” The kid’s mother grabbed her son and sat him back down. He looked like he was gonna start fighting. I was making an assessment of this kid, and he was straight up handicapped. Now I’m not a psychologist, or a psychiatrist, and I cannot say if this kid had a mental disability, but I think he did. You can tell when somebody is mentally handicapped; they speak a certain way, and they act a certain way. This kid was acting like “Lenny,” from the movie “Of mice and men.” I felt sorry for this kid, and I felt even worse for his mom

because she looked to me like she was so beat down, so tired, and dealt with so much to take care of this kid. She sat there trying to talk to him and trying to keep him calm. This was beginning to look suspiciously to me like a bunch of fucking bullshit. These assholes apprehended this kid, and they recovered the merchandise. They gotta know the kid is handicapped, and they wanna prosecute him. I didn’t really want to say anything in front of the kid, his mom, or my supervisor. If I had it my way, we’d let this kid go, but God forbid WalMart should have a little mercy on a mentally handicapped minor. I looked around the office, and Gary was standing there like he just

captured John Dillinger or something. Steve was sitting at the LP desk doing the paperwork on this poor kid. The kid looked like he clearly has special needs, and the mother was sitting there like she had a heart attack pending. I felt sick to my stomach, and I wanted to leave. “Well, you guys don’t seem to have much need for me,” I said as I quickly stepped out of the office. I practically ran to the fucking security vehicle. I hated the idea of prosecuting that kid; they could have just got the merchandise back and let him and his mother go, but it’s like I said, WalMart makes a lot of money on these thefts. If they apprehend somebody, they got to

pay for all that merchandise plus “restitution,” fees, and anything else WalMart can think of. You’d think WalMart would have some type of mercy on somebody who is mentally handicapped, but they don’t. The instores called the cops, and that really freaked the kid out. Later that night, I’m driving around in the security vehicle, and I got a call on the radio, “We have a call for security on line two please.” I pull over the security vehicle and took the call at the customer service desk. “Hello, this is Ricky in security, how may I help you?” I said. “Hello, my name is (whatever her name was) and my son got in trouble for

stealing there tonight. I wanted to ask if you guys have any tapes of him stealing,” a woman said. I knew immediately who she was, and I told her that any tapes we have can be reviewed only by law enforcement. “I know, but my son is having trouble accepting that he did this; he keeps insisting that he did not steal anything, so I was wondering if I can show him the tape, so he will understand,” she said. This woman’s request sounded absolutely ridiculous to me, but I knew her life with this kid must have been very difficult. “Ma’am, I can reserve the tapes for this case, and when you go to court you can have your attorney subpoena the tapes or something,” I said trying to help. The

woman sounded so tired, and so worried. She thanked me for my help and explained to me that her son wanted to join the Marines when he gets old enough. She said that she was “in compliance” but would not pay for any merchandise until she knows he did this for sure. “That kid would never make it in the Marines,” I thought to myself. Apparently, she brought the kid to the store and at some point he left her sight. Later, she found him, but then they got apprehended when they were trying to leave. The kid was trying to steal this $25 G.I. Joe toy. I told the woman to get like a really good lawyer, and go to court, and explain that he is mentally

handicapped. I wanted to help the woman and her kid, but there’s really nothing I can do. I told her the truth; I told her she does not have to pay restitution unless a judge specifically orders her to do so. Now I’d probably get fired for telling her that, but I don’t give a dam. Here’s the thing, if somebody with diminished mental capacity starts stealing, they probably don’t fully realize what they are doing. If the store recovers the merchandise, why not just let them go? Now I personally know somebody who got busted for shoplifting in a store, and she had a long history of mental problems. The judge dropped the

charges due to her history of illness. Now I’m not saying that you can start stealing, and if you get caught, try and act like you’re some kind of nut case because that probably won’t work. What I’m saying is there should be considerations made for a mentally handicapped person, like a 16-year-old with the mental capacity of a five-yearold. That’s what this kid was, he was big, but mentally he was like a 5-yearold. I think it’s morally wrong to prosecute somebody like that.

The Valentine’s Day bandit I hate the holidays at WalMart! People come in, and it gets real busy! The problem with that is a portion of the customers at WalMart are fairly stupid. They fight over parking spaces, steal, complain, fight, vandalize, and do all kinds of other shit that makes a security guard’s life a living hell. I’ve seen all

kinds of people steal at WalMart, and I thought I saw everything, but I was wrong. That was the thing with this job; just when you thought you’ve seen everything, something would come along and totally surprise you. I couldn’t believe this shit that was about to go down. I was sitting in the LP office doing some paperwork when the new guard came on duty. The door swings open, and this guy walks in and slams it behind him. I just look up at this dip shit, and he’s standing there smiling at me like he’s the alpha male or something. As a professional security guard, I’ve seen his kind many times! Young, arrogant,

and ignorant security guards with the fucking cowboy complex; they come a dime a dozen. At one time, I was pretty arrogant myself, but not even I acted like that. This dude wore shades like he was a movie star, and he walked with this swagger like he was the ultimate badass or something. He told me to my face that he’s better than me, and we hadn’t even been formally introduced yet. I smiled, and I did not argue with him. I extended my hand and shook his nasty little rat claw. To me, he was just another jackass that I had to contend with; his name was Jesse. Jesse was a Hispanic male, about 5’6, 180 lbs., and he had a high fade haircut typical of military personnel. He glowed with arrogance,

and if he didn’t believe that he was the toughest, smartest, cutest, and the greatest guy ever, he sure did a good job at acting like it. He acted as if he knew every-fucking-thing, and he could kick anybody’s ass, and he had a mountain of war stories to back that up. Our conversation went like this… Jesse: so, were you in the military? Me: Yes, I was in the Army. Jesse: How long, and what did you do? Me: I was in for six months; I was infantry. I got kicked out for failing to meet standards. Jesse: I was in the Marine Corps bro! I was in for 4 years, and I was in Marine recon; a special forces sniper! I did secret missions in Korea, Iraq,

Afghanistan, Yemen, and I have over 100 confirmed enemy kills! I’m a 5th degree black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and I won a secret, illegal, underground, no-holds-barred fighting tournament. I once killed a man with my bare hands! (Yes! He actually said all that, and he was fucking serious when he said it!!) Me: (acting as if I actually believe his bullshit) Wow! They’re gonna write books about you! Jesse: No bro, they can’t do that. You see, I’m the government’s secret weapon against terrorism. Nobody can ever know that I exist.

(I don’t know what exactly this guy takes me as, but he can’t possibly think that I’m stupid enough to believe that the government’s secret weapon against terrorism is a security guard at FUCKING WALMART!) Me: (asking out of curiosity) how did you kill the guy with your bare hands? Jesse: (acting like he’s all crazy) I ripped his throat out… (I wanted to bust out laughing so fucking hard!) Me: Do you suffer from PTSD? Jesse: No bro, guys like me are fucking unbreakable!

Me: Oh, Okay. It wasn’t just me, he told those stories to everybody; especially the ladies! He would walk up and act like he was all smooth and shit, start talking to the girls all full of himself, and he’d tell his “war stories.” Most of the girls just played along, they listened to his obvious tall tales and didn’t really say much afterwards. He would hit on them; he was trying way too hard. But there was this one girl that Jesse really liked, and she worked at the customer service desk. Jennifer was a fucking super model living next door. All the guys were in love with her; she was extremely attractive! Blonde hair, blue

eyes, perfect body! This girl looked like a damn Barbie doll! Jennifer was the sort of girl that you would think should be in Hollywood auditioning for movie roles or something. Instead, she’s in Bakersfield, working at WalMart, Married to some guy, and attending college. Jesse took a liking to her immediately. Jennifer was polite to him, and she just laughed off his obvious “come-ons.” For Jennifer, Jesse was just another bone-head guy who lusted after her, and she didn’t take him seriously. So Valentine’s Day arrives. I was in the security vehicle, and Jesse was out on foot patrol. Jesse stood there in the front

of the store checking himself out with a hand-held mirror, and smoking like he is James Dean or somebody. He would act all cool, and talk to the ladies, talk shit to the guys, and generally act like a typical alpha male. I saw this guy riding a bike on the sidewalk, and Jesse said something to him as he rode by. The guy stopped, got off his bike, and approached Jesse in an aggressive manner. Jesse pulled out a “combat knife” and threatened the bike riding aggressor, to which, he got back on his bike and took off. I just shook my head in disbelief and resumed patrol. I’m not a doctor or anything, but I really do feel they should give psych tests to

prospective security guards. I can’t report Jesse for what just went down (he may try to rip my throat out), so I just acted like I didn’t see anything. But just when I thought Jesse couldn’t get any dumber; he pulled the ultimate dumb ass stunt. I walked up to Jesse, and told him I was taking my lunch break. I handed him the keys to the patrol vehicle saying, “I’ll see you later.” He took the key and nodded his head in agreement. I went inside to take my lunch, and I was glad that I was gonna be gone for an hour. Moments later, a man walked up to Jesse who was still standing in front of the store. The man had a thing of expensive roses, a teddy bear, Sees candy, and a Valentine’s Day card in his arms. This

special valentine’s gift was for his wife who worked at the customer service desk, and it must have cost a fucking fortune. The romantic husband approaches Jesse and says, “Hi, my name is Brad, and my wife works here at the customer service desk; her name is Jennifer. I got this special package for her, and I want to surprise her. Could you deliver it to her for me? Jesse looks at the guy and says, “Yes sir, I’d be happy to help you!” Brad says thank you and gives Jesse the flowers, candy, card, teddy bear and left trusting that the security guard would deliver the package. Jesse delivered the package alright, but he went inside, bought a

Valentine’s Day card, signed it in his name, replaced Brad’s card with his own, and then he delivered the package to Jennifer! Jennifer’s eyes got wide when she saw the gift from Jesse. She couldn’t believe it! She was speechless! Jesse then asked her out on a date, and she said something to the effect of, “I’m sorry Jesse, It’s a wonderful gift you got me, and you shouldn’t have, but I can’t date anybody because I’m married.” Jesse just smiled and said, “It’s cool, but can I get a hug?” Jennifer displayed her award winning smile and gave Jesse a friendly but brief hug. Everyone was so impressed by the gift Jesse got Jennifer for Valentine’s Day; everybody was

talking about it. Later that night, Jennifer returns home from an exhausting day at work. She barges in the front door and closed it behind her with her foot (her arms full with a teddy bear, expensive candy, roses, and her purse). She sets the stuff down on the kitchen counter, and saw that her husband Brad had set up a romantic, candlelight dinner. Jennifer and Brad had been having little arguments lately, and Brad just wanted to give her a nice valentine’s day, so they can kiss and make up. No such luck. Their conversation went something like this… Brad: Hi honey, happy valentine’s day!

How did you like your gift I sent you? Jennifer: What gift? Brad: (pointing to the roses and stuff on the counter) that gift. Jennifer: (an angry but confused look on her face) you didn’t get me this; a guy from work did. Brad: What the fuck are you talking about? Didn’t you get my card? Jennifer: No, what card? Brad: (picking up the card signed by Jesse) this one! Wait a minute; this ain’t the card I got you. Jennifer: What the fuck are you trying to pull? A guy from work got me this stuff! Brad: (a really shocked look on his red face) No, I did! Jennifer: I don’t believe you. You’re

seriously trying to take credit for what this other guy did? Brad: Did a security guard give this to you? Jennifer: yes, how did you know? Brad: Because it was from ME! I asked him to deliver it for me! WHAT THE FUCK! Jennifer simply did not believe Brad until he pulled out the receipt and showed her where he bought the stuff from. Jennifer was beside herself; she couldn’t believe the nerve of this fucking security guard! Brad and Jennifer continued to argue even after Brad proved the gift actually came from him. Brad was now suspicious of the

relationship between Jennifer and Jesse. They argued til like four in the morning. And so, the next day Jesse is standing in front of the store again. He’s standing there smoking like he’s a movie star, checking himself out in the mirror, and hitting on the girls when all of this sudden, he sees Brad coming from the parking lot! Brad’s eyes were focused on Jesse, his face was red, he walked very quickly; he was really pissed off! Brad’s anger had reached a boiling point; he had tunnel vision, and he couldn’t think straight. Jennifer followed closely behind him trying to pull Brad back, but it was no use. Jesse did a “tactical retreat” and ran into the

store! Brad took off running after him, but Jesse ran to the back of the store and hid inside the LP office (the door is locked, and only security and management has the keys). Brad ended up talking to one of the managers, and he was assured that, “Corrective action would be taken.” Brad left the store and didn’t come back. A short time later, I walked into the LP office and Jesse was still in there, “You can come out now Rambo,” I said mocking him. “Fuck you,” Jesse replied. Jesse came out, and when he saw the coast was clear, he got that arrogant little grin on his face again, but not for long. Jennifer ran up to him and

smacked him upside his head shouting cuss words and threatening bloody murder! I was laughing so hard I thought I was gonna fucking die! I watched as other female associates pulled Jennifer off him and led her away. I nicknamed Jesse “the valentine’s day bandit.” Jesse was terminated a short time later. Jennifer and Brad made up eventually, and as for me, I got another good laugh with my time at WalMart.

A bad stop Gary was having a difficult day. He felt irritated, fatigued, and he had not busted any shoplifters in a while. Gary walked the sales floor looking for that special shopper that thinks he or she can get away with stealing. However, the floor was dead as far as stealing is involved. There was no suspicious activities, and it looked like Gary was gonna be going another day with no bust. Gary was walking by the electronics department when this lady (employee) called him over. The employee was an older lady, and she was kind of suspicious of everybody. “I think that young man over there is stealing,” she whispered as she

pointed out this young teenager. “Oh yeah?” Gary replied with interest. “I think he took some CD’s,” she said. Gary said, “Okay, thanks!” Gary started following the kid who was walking around aimlessly. He wondered into McDonald’s and got a water cup, and then he went into the restroom. When he came out, he walked over to the arcade games near the front exit. He just watched people play the games; it was clear he didn’t even have enough money to play himself. Gary thought the kid was gonna leave, but he went back down one of the main aisles and went into the Toys department. Gary watched the kid through these little holes from the next aisle over. He thought the kid was

taking something; at some point Gary became convinced that the kid was in fact, stealing. Gary continued to watch the kid as he continued to wonder aimlessly through the store. The kid went into the sporting goods department and started playing on one of the bikes in there. The employee in the sporting goods section told the kid to get off the bike, and to “get lost.” The kid made a smart ass remark and headed for the garden center. Gary felt he was leaving and got on his radio and called for PLP to come to the garden center for an apprehension. Gary followed the kid close behind as the kid unsuspectingly walked out of the garden center exit.

Once outside, Gary ran up to this kid and identified himself as WalMart in-store security. He grabbed the kid by the arm and said, “You’re coming with me.” The kid got pissed off and said, “Let me go bitch! You ain’t the motherfucking POEPOE! Ricky in security was there, and he saw what was happening. Gary asked, “Where’s the CD and the toys you took?” “I ain’t got no damn CD or toys fool! You and your fat ass partner need to raise up off me!” The kid replied. Gary searched the kid and sure enough, he didn’t have anything. “Okay, I want you to leave and never come back,” Gary said with a stern voice. He let the kid go, and the kid ran off into the night shouting, “Fuck you!” Ricky started

laughing; he thought that kid was pretty damn funny. Gary just shook his head in disapproval. “I was sure he had something,” Gary said as if trying to defend himself. “What happened?” Ricky asked. Gary explained how the lady in electronics assured him that the kid took one or more CDs, and how he thought he saw the kid stealing in the toys section. “Okay, well, better luck next time,” Ricky said as he turned to go back on his patrol. Gary walked back inside the store and made no mention of the incident to anybody else. Okay, here’s the thing. If you’re an instore loss prevention associate; you’re not supposed to apprehend somebody

unless you’re absolutely sure that they stole merchandise. Did Gary have the four elements? Heck no! Not even close! So why did Gary make the stop? Because he felt “reasonably” sure that the kid had something (because the lady told him so). The thing that Gary is trying to accomplish here is he is trying to maintain his “stats.” You see, in-store loss prevention associates have to bust a certain amount of people per month to continue doing their jobs. If WalMart is losing an x amount of merchandise per month, and the ISLP is not recovering at least some of that merchandise, then he or she will be considered ineffective and will be

replaced. So in-store loss prevention associates will bust as many people as they can. But there’s a problem, an instore loss prevention associate will get fired for making a bad stop, right? Wrong. Correction, they will get fired for “reporting” the bad stop hehe! There are a ton of situations when an ISLP suspects somebody has stolen something, but they’re just not 100% sure. Well, what they will usually do, (and I’ve seen just about all of em do this more than once) they will stop the person, and see if they have the merchandise, and if they do, they will proceed with the apprehension, and if they don’t have the merchandise, they’ll just tell the person to get lost, and they won’t report it.

When this happens, it’s normally teenagers that they do it to. Why teenagers? Because teenagers won’t sue! They won’t say something like, “You’ve made a false arrest; you’ll be hearing from my lawyer!” Teenagers messing around in the store, and they get stopped by security; they don’t know the law, or their rights, and they definitely aren’t going home to tell mom and dad about it. What happens if an in-store loss prevention associate or a security guard wrongfully apprehends you for shoplifting? You have good grounds for a lawsuit, that’s what happens. Technically speaking, they don’t even

have to touch you for it to be considered detainment. All they have to do is tell you to “stop,” or if they get in your way refusing to let you leave, or anything to make a reasonable person think he or she is being detained. So if you’re at WalMart, (or any other store) and some ISLP, or security guard, or manager stops you and starts questioning you about merchandise that you don’t have; they’ve just given you good grounds for a lawsuit! If it were me, I’d tell them something to the effect of, “No, I don’t have your poor quality, over-priced merchandise. You’ve just made a false arrest. I want your names, and I want the names and numbers of your supervisors.” I’d call the police, get a

report for a false arrest, and have the cops take the security tapes as evidence. Now, a door greeter asking to see your receipt is different; that’s not a false arrest. I’m talking about a security person, or a manager that stops you from leaving on suspicion of shoplifting. What would happen to the security guys who stopped you? The ISLP would lose his or her job almost immediately. How much money can you get if you sue them for a false arrest? I have no idea, but it must be a lot.

My Cousin Larry I did not have much of a social life; I had no girlfriend, and I had no friends to hang out with. My brother and I was

really close, but he was off in the Marines, and he was married with children. When I was not working at WalMart or for Pearsy, I often would train in martial arts, and then I basically would hang out by myself. It’s not as bad as it sounds, I am a complete hermit, and I always have been. The truth is, I really cannot stand being around people too much; it makes me get social anxiety. The only person I really hung out with was my cousin Larry. My cousin Larry was sort of a loner like me, except unlike me, he had excellent social skills, and he communicated well with others. The problem with Larry is he’s kind of an asshole. He meets people well, and he can be the light of the party,

but he has a big mouth. He starts talking all kinds of shit, and next thing you know he’s gotten himself into trouble. He’s that guy in the bar that everybody wants to beat up, but he brings it on himself. One night, I went over to his house; he and I were in the room sort of hanging out. “Hey Ricky, look what I got…” Larry said holding a bottle of Jack Daniels. “I don’t drink Larry, and you are quite aware of that,” I said. “Oh come on Ricky; don’t be a chump,” Larry said trying to get me to drink. I looked at him with a smile on my face and said, “Do you drink that shit to escape from reality? Me, I don’t need that shit, because I am reality.” I had a

laugh, and Larry looked disappointed. Larry sat there drinking the alcohol by himself. I was very bored; talking to Larry was not very stimulating to me at all. He mostly asked me questions about my work at WalMart. I told him some of my stories, and he got some kicks out of it. Larry was asking me a lot of questions about the inner workings of the security. He asked questions about the EAS alarm systems, about the cameras, and how most people get caught. I would answer his questions, and I truly did not think anything of it. Everybody asked me questions about my job. Every time I entered a room full of people, and they knew what I did; they

would bombard me with questions about how the security works, and how people react when they get busted. So I was asked questions about this stuff all the time, and I got so used to it that I often would talk without realizing what I’m saying. Larry and I did not get along sometimes. I was this conservative Republican pro-military type, and he was this far left, educated, liberal hippie type. I often bumped heads with him on political issues, and he would start running that notorious mouth of his. Sometimes he would laugh and talk to me like I’m stupid or something. He was quick to point out that I had no real college experience. There were a few times I had to get mean with that little

bastard. I did not kick his ass or anything, I would just administer a little bit of disciplinary action on him. Larry and I would argue, but we always ended up hanging out again. We agreed to just disagree, and we reframed from talking about politics. One night, I went to Larry’s house after work, and we were just hanging out and playing poker online. We started talking, and our conversation went something like this….. Larry: So Ricky, tell me one of your shoplifting stories. Me: Okay, I can tell you about the girl who got strip searched. Larry: What the fuck! You guy’s strip searched a girl??

Me: They did, I didn’t. Larry: Did the cameras catch all of the action? Me: No, they had her in the security office by the customer service desk, and there are no cameras in there. It’s like an old storage room. Larry: Tell me about the cameras. How good are they? Me: What do you mean? Larry: Can they see everything? Are there people watching them 24/7? Me: Heck no, those cameras are fucking worthless. The best function they serve is people think they’re being watched, so they behave themselves. Larry: So it’s more like deterrence? Me: Well, they can be used for

prosecution, but it’s hard to make out somebody’s face with the shit we got, even close up. Those cameras are a joke man, and most of the time nobody’s watching them. Sometimes they ain’t even recording because the guards are too lazy to change the tapes. Larry: Wow! Are you serious? Me: Yea, it’s a bunch of fucking bullshit. Larry was starting to ask me more and more questions like the guard’s shifts, and when the in-store LP’s are usually in, and all kinds of other bullshit. I would answer his questions, and I did not think anything of it. It was a hot, sunny day, and I had been

on duty for a few hours. I was driving around in the patrol vehicle. Daniel and I were the only two guards on duty. Steve the LP was also on duty inside the store. Daniel parked himself at the front of the store, and I drove around doing my usual thing of drinking soda and listening to music. I had the AC blasting and was not feeling the heat of the day. I love to just cruise around and listen to music; I find it very relaxing. I usually use this time to think about all the retarded bullshit in my life. My cell phone started ringing; I turned down the music and answered it. Me: Hello? Steve: Hi Ricky, it’s me Steve.

Me: Hi Steve, what can I do for you? Steve: I got a Hispanic male coming out the front doors, and he’s wearing a blue rag on his head. I’m gonna make a stop. Me: Okay, what is he a fucking gang banger or something? Steve: Uh, I don’t know, just hurry up, and get by the front doors. Me: Okay Steve, I’m there. See you when you come out. Steve just hung up the phone. I did not consider an abrupt hang up rude; remember these guys are following a suspect in real time. I parked the security vehicle and stood by the front doors. Daniel was already there, and he was just chilling. “We got a shoplifter

coming out,” I said with a smile on my face. “Oh yeah?” Daniel asked. “Yep, and Steve said that he is a Hispanic male with a blue rag on his head. He said he has prison tattoos, and the thinks he might have a gun,” I said trying to taunt Daniel. Daniel just started laughing; he knows that I’m a notorious bullshiter. “He really is a Hispanic male with a blue rag on his head,” I said while laughing. Moments later, I saw my cousin Larry come walking out of the store, and he was wearing a blue rag on his head! I said nothing as I was in complete and utter shock, but I thought, “OH SHIT!!!” I could not believe my fucking eyes! I

knew it was him, and it suddenly hit me why he was asking so many questions. Larry came walking out the front exit, seen me standing there, came over, and shook my hand. “What’s up Ricky, how’s it going?” Larry said acting as if everything was cool. I did not reply to him. My mouth was wide open; I reluctantly shook his hand. This moment was like an hour in my mind; I wanted to tell him, “RUN YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!!” Just then Steve came running out and came up to Larry and said, “I’m in-store loss prevention; you have merchandise you have not paid for, and you need to come with me.” Larry went quietly with Steve back into the store, and I followed them. Daniel

stood outside as he must have figured me and Steve have everything under control. I was in a state of shock; it was as if I could not hear anything, and I had this tunnel vision. I wondered if I should have told Larry to run, but I knew better. Besides, I think Steve would have caught him anyways. We got to the LP office, and I walked over to Larry and started frisking him for weapons. I knew he would not have anything, and I knew he’s not the violent type, but I was just following protocol. I said nothing to Steve about our relation; I acted as if everything was normal. “Give me the merchandise,” Steve said to Larry. I couldn’t wait to see what he had stolen.

Whatever it was, I knew he could afford it, and I was curious to see what was so important that he had to come to my store to fuck around. Larry reached into his pocket and pulled out this Gillette razor thing. It was a cheap piece of shit that cost only $12 dollars. I looked away while rolling my eyes after I saw what he had taken. I knew Steve was going to call the cops because it was over 10 dollars. I was relieved because the dollar amount was so small, so I knew that he would not get into too much trouble. I had to go through the task of getting the Polaroid camera, and taking his picture, and making him sign the trespass form stating that he is no longer welcome at any WalMart stores. After it

was all said and done, I just sat in this chair. Steve told Larry that he was not going to call the cops (they tell everybody that; it keeps people calm until the cops do get there). Steve filled out his report on the computer and then left the office saying he needed to use the restroom, but he’s actually going to call the police. Steve left the office, and Larry and I was all alone in there. Larry just sat there with his head down; I could see he felt embarrassed and ashamed. You would think I’d be pissed off, but I was not. I was more concerned about Larry’s wellbeing more than anything else; remember I’ve seen people go to jail for this kind of bullshit. I stood up

and said, “Hey man, I’m gonna tell you like this. That guy is gonna go and call the cops. When the cops get here they’re gonna run your info to make sure you don’t have any warrants, and then they’re going to give you a ticket and let you go. It’s called a cite and release. It’s like a traffic ticket; you’ll have to go to court for it. Remember, you have the right to remain silent, so if I were you, I’d remain silent.” That’s what I told him almost to the exact words. Larry just sat there quietly as if he didn’t know what to say. I sat back down, and Steve came back into the room. It was really quiet, and all of this sudden Larry asks Steve, “Hey man, do you know who you look like?” “Scott Peterson,” Steve

answered as if he had heard it a thousand times. Larry started laughing and said, “Yeah!” Larry and Steve started talking like they were old friends or something. I sat there deathly quiet, noticing Larry’s superficial charm for the first time in my life. They were talking, laughing, and having a good time until… THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! It was the unmistakable sound of the cops showing up at the door. It got real quiet after that loud knock at the door. I opened up the door, and this cop walks in. Larry was visibly nervous, and the cop starts running his info. His info came back clean with no warrants pending. The cop spoke with Steve

about what had happened. After hearing Steve’s side of the story, the cop starts reading Larry his Miranda rights. Cop: You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford an attorney one will be provided to you free of charge, do you understand your rights as I have read them? Larry: (Looking scared and confused) Am I going to jail? Cop: Not today, you have no warrants, so I’m gonna write you a ticket and let you go, but I have to read you your rights. Larry: (Breathing a sigh of relief) I

thought I was going to jail there for a moment. Cop: with your rights in mind, would you like to talk to me about what happened here today? Larry: Yeah, I had the money, but I was just being dumb. Me: (Thinking to myself) you idiot! I told you to shut the fuck up! Cop: did you come into the store with the intent to steal? Me: (Thinking quietly to myself) say no! Say no! SAY NO! Larry: No, I have money; I don’t even know why I did it. The cop wrote Larry a ticket, and told him that he was free to go. I got up and

started escorting him out. We quietly walked out of the store. Once we got outside I asked him “Where are you parked?” “I’m over there,” Larry answered. “Okay, I’ll see you later,” I said. “I’m sorry about this,” Larry said. “Don’t worry about it,” I replied. “Don’t tell anybody about this,” Larry said obviously embarrassed. “Okay,” I answered. I told him I would not tell anybody, and now here I am writing a book about it. Now that is fucking funny! I went back into the store and walked to the LP office. The cop had already departed, and Steve was sitting in there alone. I walked in and sat down. “That dude was my cousin,” I said to Steve. Steve busted out laughing

so hard! “Oh my God! Seriously?” Steve shouted while still laughing. I chuckled a little bit, but I really did not feel like laughing. Steve was having a ball over it; he couldn’t stop laughing. “That dude was your cousin?” Steve said while continuing to laugh. “I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with him,” I said. Steve did not reply; he just kept laughing. I went back to my patrol, and I got a large coke from McDonald’s to sort of cheer me up. I got back into the security vehicle. I wanted to call Larry because I was sort of worried about him. I know he must have felt embarrassed, and I wanted to sort of smooth everything

over. I called him, and we made arrangements to go to the movies that night. Nothing really came of the shoplifting charge, he paid some restitution fees, but that was about it. We were hanging out and acting like nothing had happened. I’ve seen a lot of crazy shit in my time at WalMart, but this was one of the craziest things ever. I don’t know what exactly was going on in Larry’s mind, but I imagine he went in there thinking he was gonna get a little discount, and probably thought the security was a joke. He should have known better, but I guess he’s not as smart as he thinks he is. He’s lucky that it was a small item that he stole because if it were bigger he could have done a

little time for that. I was never mad at Larry for what he did; I never really felt betrayed or anything. I felt more concern for his wellbeing than anything else. Here’s the thing, Larry’s case almost seems funny at first glance, but there are real consequences here. Larry didn’t go to jail over this incident, and he paid a little fine, and then that was it. Larry had career ambitions that are no longer possible now because of this petty theft charge. Think about it; let’s say you want to be a cop, or something. A criminal history will stop that from happening. And let’s say you apply for a job with some company, and they do a

background on you, and now you have to explain a petty theft charge. Do you really think you’re gonna get the job? Not likely. Larry really got hurt that day, and I was sorry to see it happen to him.

Interrogation Gary had apprehended a shoplifter, and we were sitting in the LP office for a couple of hours just waiting for the cops to show up. Gary was on the computer

completing his report on the guy he had busted. The shoplifter sat there patiently answering Gary’s questions, and their conversation went something like this…. Gary: what’s your name, address, and phone number? Shoplifter: my name is Don Charpent, and I live at **************, and my phone number is ********** Gary: Where did you stash the box to the merchandise? Shoplifter: I don’t know, I think I hid it in the men’s clothing department. Gary: Okay where did you go from there? Shoplifter: Oh I’m not real sure; I think I went into electronics to check out some

CD’s. Gary: Okay, where did you put the watch you stole? Shoplifter: I put it in my pocket. Gary: which pocket? Shoplifter: my front, right pocket. Gary: And where did you go after that? Shoplifter: I had to use the restroom. Gary: Okay, thanks. Gary was sitting there on his computer typing his report, and he was asking the shoplifter questions about what he did, and where he went, and they were sort of fill in the blanks questions. The problem with that is it is totally wrong even by WalMart’s standards. The issue is the four elements, remember, a loss

prevention agent is supposed to watch the shoplifter the whole time they are in the store. If they lose sight of the shoplifter for any reason, they are supposed to let them go. For example, if a shoplifter goes into the restroom; obviously you can’t maintain 100% visual on your suspect while they are in the restroom because that just wouldn’t be right. So technically, you’re supposed to let them go because you no longer have the four elements. However, most loss prevention agents would not let a shoplifter go just because he or she went into the restroom. They’ll do something like stop the shoplifter, and if they still have the

merchandise, they’ll go through the process of apprehension. If they don’t have the merchandise, they will just let them leave, and nobody knows what happened. Think about it, the guards aren’t gonna say anything, management doesn’t know what’s going on, and the shoplifter is happy to leave the premises. Most shoplifters don’t know about the four elements anyways. You see, a loss prevention agent needs to meet a certain quota for busting shoplifters each month. If a loss prevention agent fails to meet the quota; they’ll lose their jobs. So sometimes in order to keep their stats up, the in-store loss prevention agents will cut corners

to meet the quota, and maintain their jobs. This shoplifter that is talking to Gary is doing a really stupid thing; he’s actually helping Gary to prosecute him by answering his questions. Because if Gary doesn’t know where this guy went and what he did, then he obviously does not have the four elements, and that makes this a bad stop. Now I’m not a shoplifter, but if I was, and I got busted, I would not tell them shit! I wouldn’t even tell them my name. Our conversation would go something like this…. In-store detective: Tell me your name. Me: I want a lawyer. In-store detective: Okay, but I need to know your name first.

Me: (Remaining silent) In-Store detective: TELL ME YOUR NAME! Me: (Still remaining silent) In-store detective: If you don’t cooperate with me, I’m gonna be forced to call the police. Me: (Not a word) Now will they eventually find out who I am? Of course they will. Keeping my name from them is not the point; the point is, I wanna make them work really hard just to get that much information. If the in-store detective started asking me questions about where I went, and what I did, I wouldn’t say anything, but I’d get a good lawyer, and I’ll bet a good lawyer

will expose the fact that the guy doesn’t have the four elements during cross examination. I was always amazed at how much information people would give us after we apprehended them. People would give their names, numbers, where they worked, their employers numbers, and just about anything we asked for. Now most shoplifters are embarrassed and apologetic after they get caught, and many are scared and quite frankly, don’t know what to do or say. Another thing too is, I’ve seen the loss prevention, and managers tell the shoplifters something to the effect of, “Cooperate with us, and we won’t call the cops, and we’ll let

you go, but you have to pay restitution.” People will cooperate, sign anything, and promise to pay anything, just to keep from going to jail, and the manager’s or LP already called the cops like 20 minutes ago. They lie only to keep the shoplifter calm and cooperating until the cops get there. I’ve seen only a few times when the manager actually let somebody go without calling the cops. One such example occurred on Valentine’s Day. This young kid stole a teddy bear for his girlfriend. The manager kinda felt sorry for the young man and told him that if he could pay for the merchandise, he would let him go. The kid called a friend and asked if he could bring some money, which the

friend did, and upon payment the young man went free. So of course, there’s an exception to every rule. But most of the time they call the cops. WalMart’s policy is to call the cops if the dollar amount is over 10 dollars. One thing you have to understand is that the four elements is almost impossible. There is no way you can maintain 100% visual on somebody in the store, and sometimes you only have like one element. The loss prevention agents or managers just sort of put a case together, and they make it work. They lie about not having the four elements, but who’s to say they don’t? Nobody really knows for sure. If you went to court and started

talking about the four elements, it’s still your word against theirs, and they’re likely to win. Now, if you have a really good lawyer that’s another story. A good lawyer will really help you in a situation like that. WalMart will go ahead and mess with people and bully them because they know most people don’t know their rights, or the law. Also, if the guy or girl doesn’t have enough money to buy what they need from WalMart, the chances are they won’t have enough money to hire a good lawyer either. Here’s the thing, bear in mind that I’m not giving anybody legal advice, or any kind of advice for that matter. I’m just

saying that if I got apprehended for shoplifting, I’d lawyer up and keep my mouth shut. If the in-store detective tried to get my wallet, I’d tell him he does not have my permission to go through my wallet, and without becoming violent, I would physically prevent him from going into my wallet. He may slap handcuffs on me, and then go through my wallet. Now I’m not a lawyer, but I don’t think he has the right to do that. I was told that all we are allowed to look for is stolen merchandise, or a weapon, that’s it. What if I was being detained by mistake? What if I didn’t do it? I still would not cooperate with those

bastards. Why not? Because in a world where anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law; it may be wise to lawyer up and not say anything.

The Homeless Guy The night was dark and bitterly cold. Not many people were shopping in the store. The parking lot was almost empty with the exception of a few customers and the employee vehicles in the back. I was wearing this thick security jacket, but it was not enough, not even for me. I was cold, and I was not ashamed to admit it. Aside from the low temperature, there was this windy chill factor that made it seem colder than it really was. The security vehicle was in the shop, so I was not able to enjoy my usual blend of coca cola, music, and the AC. It was my turn to work the night shift; I was living it, but I didn’t love it.

I had to do my patrol on foot, which I did not mind because I like to walk. I find walking around relaxing. Still, the cold weather was straight up kicking my ass. I went into the LP office for my breaks and felt as though I was thawing out in there. My skin was cold to the touch, and I was even shaking a little. It was a Wednesday going into Thursday; I remember only because we always got paid bi-weekly on a Thursday. So, at three o clock in the morning everybody would line up at the cash office to get their checks. I could not wait to get paid, I was so damn broke that it ain’t even funny. All of the other employees were broke, as well, (except for management; they make fucking bank). It

was not unusual for another WalMart employee to ask me for a small loan until payday. People would ask me if I could spot them twenty bucks until payday, and I would laugh and say, “I would, but I’m broke too.” I often came to work with borrowed gas money, and spare change I fished out of my car and between the sofa cushions. Today was no different; I was really hurting until payday, and I was so happy to be getting my check in just a few hours. Not that it really mattered, most of the time my check was pretty much spent as fast as I got it, and I would be hurting again until next payday. I had been dancing with that God forsaken payday loans thing that

seemed to become a nightmarish, neverending rollercoaster ride. I was working two jobs and living with my parents, but I still somehow did not have enough money. You see, you work hard, and you think you’ll have enough money to pay the bills and save, but something always happens. Life happens, and when it does it really screws up our finances. People get sick, people have car accidents, people lose hours at work, and so forth and so forth. I used to think it was because of me, I used to think that I was the problem. But I know a lot of people who make really good money, and they are in the same boat. In fact, I know two

guys who are millionaires, and their whole lives were plagued by bad luck and horrible financial problems. Take a look at some of the celebrities, for example, a lot of them have mansions in foreclosure, and they make a ridiculous amount of money. A wise man once told me, “Never worry about money, because no matter what you do, you’ll never have enough.” Now that advice sure sounds good, but it’s kind of hard not to worry about money when you’re in your early twenties, and the repo man is taking your car away. We really do live lives of silent desperation. I waited in line for my paycheck. The checks were given to us at three o’ clock

in the morning, and of course, you could pick it up later, but the night crew got paid first. I got my check and opened it up. My typical bi-weekly paycheck was about five hundred dollars. Sometimes it was a little more, and sometimes it was a little less. The thing was WalMart has this problem with overtime; you could get fired for getting too much unauthorized overtime. Employees would make sure not to go over their allotted time clocking out because if you did, you could be in some trouble. Working at WalMart sucks, it really does. I cashed my check at the registers on my lunch break, and I had all my money in my pocket.

After my lunch hour was over, I had to resume patrol. I zipped up my jacket and went back out into the cold. It was about four o’clock in the morning, and it was really cold now. I walked around taking comfort in the fact that my shift would be over in just a little while. It was still really dark out, and I wanted to walk around to get my body moving to warm up a little. I was walking around the back of the store when I heard somebody coughing. “What the fuck?” I thought. I stopped, listened, and looked around. I heard the coughing again, and this time I realized it was coming from this stack of cardboard boxes. I walked over to the boxes, and I shouted, “Who’s

there?” I heard no reply, so I started throwing the boxes aside to literally get to the bottom of this issue. I saw a shirt coming out from this box. I picked up and tossed a bunch of boxes aside and was shouting, “WalMart security, who are you, and what are you doing back here?” I got no reply, and now I’m starting to get a little pissed off, so I kicked the guy in the back. “Hey chill man,” a voice said from underneath the boxes. I realized it was a guy sleeping underneath cardboard boxes behind the store. I could not believe that I was on foot patrol the whole night, and walked behind the store many, many, times, and somehow missed the fact that there is a guy sleeping back here. I again

identified myself as WalMart security and told the guy to come out. So this homeless guy emerges from the boxes. He was a white male, with blonde hair, about 5’8 and 130 LBS at most. He was filthy, and he was wearing this silk shirt, pants, and he was fucking barefoot! I felt bad for kicking him. He stood there with his arms hugging himself and was shivering. I told him to come with me, and I proceeded to walk him into the store from the back receiving area. This lady named Stacy was standing in the receiving doorway and was talking to the receivers when me and this homeless guy came walking up. She turned

looking at us as if startled, and then she saw me. She said nothing as I walked him in and headed for the LP office. So I sit this guy in the LP office on the shoplifter’s bench and called for management on the radio. The homeless guy said nothing as I stood there waiting for the manager with the door to the LP office open. “What happened to your shoes and jacket, man?” I asked. “My jacket and my shoes got stolen yesterday,” the homeless guy replied. “Who stole your stuff and how?” I asked. “This guy beat me up on Flower Street, and he took my jacket and shoes,” he replied. Suddenly, one of the assistant managers came in and smiled, “How can I help you?” the assistant

manager asked. “I found this guy sleeping in back of the store underneath a stack of cardboard boxes,” I said. The assistant manager gave me a strange look and said, “Okay, just tell him not to do it again, and cut him loose.” “My thoughts exactly, but I wanted to get him a few things first. Do you mind babysitting him while I get a few things?” I asked. “Sure, no problem,” the assistant manager replied. I thanked him and went out to the floor. I really did not have much money to devote to this homeless guy, but I just could not help myself. I got him some shoes, socks, and a sweater, and a sandwich meal; it was really all I could

afford to get him. I was buying this stuff at the registers when Stacy walked up to me and started laughing, “You’re getting that stuff for that guy, aren’t you? You’re a softy,” she said. I said nothing; I just smiled. I took the stuff back to the homeless guy. He seemed surprised and happy. The first thing he did was put on the socks and shoes. He put on the sweater, and he started eating the sandwich like he had not ate in a week. The assistant manager left and came back with his personal jacket, “Hey man, you can have this too,” he said while handing him the jacket. The homeless guy put on the jacket and now he looked warm. He looked up and said, “Thanks you guys!” I asked him if he had any

family who could help him, or if there was somebody I could call for him. He told me that his mother died, he never knew his dad, and he had a half-brother somewhere that he does not get along with. He said that he had schizophrenia and received some help from the hospital but was released back into the streets. I felt bad for this guy; he had been walking around in this cold weather for at least a day with no shoes. He said that he’s been homeless for years, but nobody has ever did anything like give him socks, shoes, sweaters, and a jacket. He said he couldn’t believe his eyes, and he kept saying, “Thank you.” I told him that he could

not be sleeping in back of the store no more, and started escorting him out. On our way down the main aisle, Stacy came walking up, and she had this sleeping bag that she got from the sporting goods department; she too had bought it with her own money. She saw us walking, and she said, “I’m glad I caught you guys.” She gave the homeless guy the sleeping bag, and it was one of those expensive sleeping bags with the wet weather gear. The homeless guy was speechless. He was very surprised, and he was starting to cry. The homeless guy stood there hugging his new sleeping bag, and he said, “I can’t believe this! You guys

are…..You guys are incredible! Thank you!” I escorted the homeless guy out of the store and watched him walk out into the darkness. I don’t know what exactly came over me. I’ve always helped a homeless person whenever I could, but I felt bad for that guy. We all felt bad for him. I’ve seen WalMart employees do some really messed up stuff, but I’ve seen them do some really good stuff too.

The Strong Arm Robber I sat alone in the hallway just outside the office of Pearsy security and investigations. I had been writing my letter of resignation. I did not know what to write, but I knew my employment with them would be over. I

would no longer be a private investigator, and I really enjoyed that job. The trouble was Pearsy’s business was starting to fail. He was losing a lot of contracts, and business was scarce. It’s not just because he ripped off his clients, it’s because of the holidays. You see the holidays are the worst time of the year for private investigation agencies because nobody wants to spend money on spies; they wanna spend money on food, parties, and Christmas gifts. There was less and less hours, and then I found out that Pearsy was going out of business. I was okay with giving up the job because at this point, I was very tired. I had been juggling two jobs for a really long time, and something had

to give. Besides, Pearsy was not a moral man. He ripped off his clients, every time he opened his mouth he was lying, and one night I was at the movies, and I saw him there with his younger personal assistant. I turned in my letter of resignation, and they were like, “Okay, it’s been fun, goodbye.” These were the bad times. I was going through some rough stuff personally, and I got to this mentality where all I wanted to do anymore was sleep. I spent my days off sleeping, and I was hardly training anymore. I gained a lot of weight, and I was barely fitting into my uniform. I guess you could say that I was depressed, but I think it’s more than

that. I think I was badly fatigued. Neverthe-less, my job at WalMart was as challenging as ever. I was not getting along with the other employees. There were now three in-store loss prevention agents, and they were Steve, Gary, and Joe. I got along with Steve and Joe but not Gary. I was also not getting along with Neil, the other guard. That guy was so damn lazy that I almost could not believe my eyes. He would come to work, and wouldn’t do shit. I could not rely on him to back me up out there either; I might as well have been out there by myself. I know fucking stoners that ain’t as lazy as Neil was, and that’s pretty damn bad! I found myself late for work all the time, almost to the point

where managers would yell at me, and I was looking at possibly getting fired. I actually did not care anymore. I had this attitude like, “Fuck it, fire my ass already because I don’t give a shit.” I just didn’t have that motivation anymore. So I arrived for work at 2:15pm, and I was 15 minutes late. I walked into the LP office, and Gary was in there. Gary looked at me like he was a school principle, and I was this little bad ass kid. He started lecturing me and telling me that I need to be on time, and he said he was gonna recommend that I receive a write-up. Gary was my immediate supervisor, and an in-store detective, but

I had no respect for his dumb ass. I stood there silently listening to him talk all kinds of shit; he said I was irresponsible and unprofessional. After the end of his speech, he said, “Have you anything to say for yourself?” “Not really,” I replied. “Don’t give me that negative attitude man, and don’t get smart with me. Are you trying to get smart with me? Gary asked with a stern voice. “No, I’m not trying to get smart with you; I’m just waiting for you to get done with your speech, so I can move on with my life amicably,” I replied. Gary looked at me and now he was pissed off, and he said, “You need to decide how bad you want to work here. Loss prevention is a team effort, and if you’re

not a team player than we don’t need you.” “Okay,” I replied. I walked out of the office, and I felt a lot of anger and disgust. Sometimes WalMart supervisors and managers get promoted to a position of authority, and they start acting all fucking superior, like a dumb ass bossy kid who becomes a hall monitor and goes on a power trip. Gary, for example, thinks he’s the shit because he spies on people inside a store; so what, I spy on people on the fucking streets! I could out run him, I could out fight him, and I can out think him; but he gets promoted to loss prevention supervisor, and all of this sudden he’s acting like he’s a member of Congress or

something. I was walking down the main aisle near the front registers, and I heard the EAS alarm going off. This girl was standing there with the door greeter, and for some reason she was setting off the alarms. The girl in question was a young, African American female with short hair, and a nice dress on. This assistant manager named Gina, (she was so fucking hot) called me over by the customer service desk, and she said, “Stop that girl, she stole those shoes she’s wearing,” I did not say anything; I just walked up to the girl and said, “Hello young lady, my boss would like to have a word with you.” “What does

your boss want to talk about? She asked. “I don’t know, but he’ll be here in just a moment,” I replied. The girl stood there for a moment, and I could see the panic coming over her. All of this sudden, she kicked off those shoes and took off running through the parking lot. Assistant manager Gina came running up to me, “Stop her, go and get her,” she yelled. “I can’t, I’m too fat,” I replied. I walked out the store laughing my ass off. This girl was still running at top speed through the parking lot with no shoes on! I was glad she got away, and I hoped she was scared straight. I started patrol, and this was my escape time but not today. Things just kept

happening. People were waving me down and asking for jump starts, and all kinds of stuff. I remember I was trying to do a jump start, and these people walked up to me reporting they had a fender bender. I looked over at Neil, and he was just walking around talking to some girl. “Hey Neil, could you help these people?” I asked. Neil acted as if he didn’t hear me, and he just kept walking with the girl. I said to myself in frustration, “What a fucking lazy piece of shit!” After I got done with that, I went walking back into the store to take my break, and this guy was setting off the EAS alarm. As I walked into the store, I saw this guy, and he saw me. He was a Hispanic male around in his 30’s and

was wearing this blue jean jacket. His jacket was protruding out around the lower stomach area. The jacket was buttoned up, and you totally could tell that he stuffed something down his pants. Assistant manager Gina was right there, and she was telling me, “I want whatever he’s got right now!” “Sir, do you speak English?” I asked. “No speake engloso,” the man replied. I opened his jacket, and he had two DVD’s stuffed half way out his pants. I grabbed the DVDs and told him, “adios amigo.” The man smiled and said, “Gracias,” and quickly walked out. Assistant manager Gina was pissed off. “Why the fuck are you letting him go?”

she asked. “Don’t you know what the four elements are? I was not even supposed to do what I just did,” I replied. Assistant manager Gina grabbed another associate and ran out after the guy. They brought him back into the store, and they were basically apprehending him. I just walked away because I knew that assistant manager Gina was brand new, and she did not know what she was doing. I did my best to please her, but I felt that I went as far as I’m willing to go. I sat in the McDonald’s area drinking a coke, and assistant manager Gina walked by and said, “The security around here is fucking worthless!” I did not care to question or comment on the new

assistant manager’s opinion. I was too tired and depressed to give a shit. I buried my head into my hands as I tried to forget where I was for just a moment. I heard somebody sit down at my table, and I looked up. This little kid sat down at my table uninvited and was just staring at me. He said nothing, and I could not understand what he wanted; he just sat there looking at me. I got my coke and got up and left. I was about to fucking snap! How fucking rude can a person possibly be? I was ready to attack somebody; I quickly walked into the old storage room that used to be a security office. I finally found some peace and quiet, but it wouldn’t last, it

couldn’t last. This night was an unforgettable, mind boggling, pain in the ass! I would be in the patrol vehicle for five minutes, and somebody would be waving me down, or calling me on the radio, for all kinds of crap. Neil was nowhere to be found; I had to do everything myself. Sometimes in order to ignore my calls, Neil would take the battery out of his radio. I had been complaining about Neil for quite some time, but nobody listened to me. Back in the day when Nicole still worked here, I told her about how lazy and incompetent Neil was, and she didn’t listen to me. So on nights like this, I was stuck doing all of the work by myself.

Antonio came in at 10:00pm, and I found myself with a useful partner. Antonio came in, and he was ready to go to work. Antonio was always full of energy and ready to tackle anything and everything. I had come to admire that about him, but on that particular night, I just couldn’t wait to get out of there. I only had one hour to go, and I would clock off and go home. Neil was already gone, but then he never was there in the first place. Antonio and I were patrolling around in the security vehicle. I was driving and telling him about my day, except I left out that I lost my job with Pearsy. Antonio just laughed; nothing was a big deal to him.

Just when I thought it was all over with, we got a call on the radio, “Security! We have a code 89; we need you at the front exit,” the voice said. “Oh NO! Please NOT NOW!” I thought. I parked the security vehicle, and Antonio and I got out and walked inside the store. Assistant manager Gina walked up to me and Antonio pointing out this guy, and she said, “He’s been stealing; I want you guys to stop him!” I took a look at the gentleman in question, and he was no fucking gentleman. He was a little shorter than me, but he was built like Arnold fucking Schwarzenegger. This guy was clearly a bodybuilder, and he stood defiantly looking at us in a t-shirt, and Levi Jeans. His arms had muscles

and tattoos all over them. This guy was clearly very strong, and he was fucking mean looking too. I saw the look in his eyes, and this guy was ready to knock somebody out. So right then and there I know my night is about to take an even uglier turn. My heart was full of performance anxiety and dread. I felt fatigued and sluggish already, and my heart starting beating rapidly. I thought, “I am not ready for this.” Antonio was ready. Antonio seemed like he couldn’t wait to take this guy on. “We’re gonna stop him,” Antonio said. My head just sunk, “Damn it, I’m so fucked,” I thought with fear. Of course, I had been training extensively for a situation like this, but I

just was not feeling it tonight. The muscle built shoplifting suspect stood by the front exit as if waiting for somebody. He leaned against the wall with his body builder arms crossed in front of him. I knew this son of a bitch was gonna be a handful, I just knew it. Antonio walks right up to him without any fear or hesitation and starts questioning him. I stood behind Antonio, and I was just waiting for this guy to start throwing the hands. The shoplifting suspect was very defiant; he told Antonio to go fuck himself. I walked a little bit to Antonio’s right and stood side-by-side with him. Antonio was now face-to-face with this terminator version of a petty criminal,

and they were having a standoff. The guy turned to leave, and I was in his way. He gave me this look like “you better get out of my fucking way or else…..” I stepped out of his way, and he walked out the front exit. All of this sudden, it got really quiet. People watching this situation go down could feel what was about to happen. Antonio followed the shoplifting suspect outside the store, and I followed him. The suspect did not run; he stood arrogantly by the front exit and seemed tense, but confident in his abilities. Antonio walked up to him and said, “Hey we ain’t done talking.” The suspect said, “Oh yeah we are because

you boys don’t wanna piece of this.” Antonio stood very professional and confident himself; he almost looked like a cop. He stood in front of the suspect and said, “No and’s, If’s, or butts; I need you to come with me!” “You motherfuckers are about to get hurt,” the suspect said clenching his fists. The suspect attempted to walk away, but Antonio said, “You ain’t going anywhere.” The two started fighting, and I grabbed the suspect from behind. The suspect broke free of my grip so hard and so fast and then…….BAM! All I saw was this blinding flash of light followed by temporary darkness. The guy hit me in the face twice, and I mean hard! I was stunned as the suspect took

off running. Antonio and I immediately ran after him. The suspect ran into the main aisle of the parking lot, stopped, put his fists up, and angrily screamed, “YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WANT A PIECE OF ME!” Antonio was closer, so he dove for the guys legs in a double leg take down attempt, but this guy was so fucking strong that he was not going down. I jumped on his back and screamed, “GET THE CHOKE!” Jose was a janitor that worked for us, and he just happened to be outside and saw us fighting with this guy. Jose was a professional boxer. He came running up and “POW!” Jose hit the guy with wicked right uppercut and knocked him

down. The suspect fell down with me on his back. Antonio said, “Don’t hit him.” I screamed out in reply, “NO FUCK THAT; HIT HIM!” Needless to say, I was a little pissed off. Antonio stood up and told Jose, “It’s okay, Ricky’s got this.” Antonio and Jose stood there watching me fight with this guy on the ground. Antonio knew that with my strong Jiu-Jitsu background, I would have this guy subdued in no time. The suspect threw his fists back over his head trying to hit me in the face, but I was behind him on his back, and then he tried to elbow me in the ribs, but it was no use. I got the rear naked choke and began applying pressure like my life depended on it. The suspect struggled,

but as strong as he was, and as hard as he tried, he could not get out of the choke hold. Soon the suspect was choking really badly; he clearly could not breathe. I rolled him onto his stomach and transitioned into a head lock technique where I was off of his back but still pinning his shoulders to the ground. This position allowed Antonio to put handcuffs on him. His girlfriend came out while I was on him. The suspect was still gagging really badly, and his girlfriend came out and started yelling, “Stop! You’re killing him! He’s dying!” I yelled back at her, “I will handle the strategy here ma’am.” Once we got the handcuffs on, I let go of the

choke. Antonio and Jose picked the guy up and amazingly he was still able to stand. The suspect looked at me, and I smiled at him and gave him a “thumbs up.” I really wanted to hit him in the face like he hit me, but I couldn’t. We walked him back inside the store. Assistant manager Gina stood there with a shocked look on her face, and her hands clutching her chest as if she was gonna have a heart attack. I walked by her and said, “What are you looking so freaked out for? I’m the one who had to fight, oh, but I’m worthless, right?” She did not reply to me; I didn’t think she would. I continued walking into the store. We

walked the thief back to the LP office, and we called the police. Apparently, he and his girlfriend had been going in and out of the store all night. They had been taking items from the store and putting those items in their car, and then going back inside for more. The suspect sat on the bench inside our office as Antonio took his picture. The suspect asked if he could talk to his girlfriend. I left Antonio and one of the managers inside the LP office with the suspect and went out to the front of the store to get the girlfriend. The girl was standing near the front registers, and she saw me approaching her. I walked up to her and said, “Your friend is okay, and he is in our security office. He is asking to

speak with you. If you come with me, I will take you to him.” The girlfriend agreed, and she came with me back to the LP office. I brought her in, and she sat next to her man on the bench and asked, “Are you alright?” “I’m okay baby; I just wanted to see you. I’m gonna be going away again,” the suspect said. “Actually you’ll both be going away,” the manager said interrupting. “What are you talking about?” the girlfriend asked. “We’ve been watching you guys, all night long. You kept going back and forth from the store, to your car, and you took out stuff and didn’t pay for any of it, “The manager explained. “I didn’t take anything,” the woman

proclaimed. “Yeah you did; we’ve been watching you,” the manager said. The girlfriend looked at me and asked, “Why did you bring me back here?” “Your friend here was asking for you, and I thought you would want to be with him,” I explained. The girlfriend sat there like she was kind of scared. “You’re not being detained; you’re totally free to leave if you want to,” I said to the girlfriend. “Go honey, just take off; don’t worry about me,” the suspect said to his partner. The girlfriend sat in silence. It was like she didn’t want to leave her boyfriend, but she didn’t want to possibly go to jail either. I sat there and was starting to calm down a little bit. Antonio explained the trespass

process to the suspect. The suspect signed the form with his hands cuffed behind his back; the signature was really sloppy, but he still signed it. The suspect sat back down and said, “I’m so thirsty.” “We have a vending machine in the break room down the hall. Your girlfriend is free to go in there, and get you something to drink,” I said. The suspect and his girlfriend sat there quietly, and I realized immediately that they had no money, not even enough change for a vending machine. I got up and asked Antonio if he would be okay with them, and he assured me that he would be fine. I went to the vending machine and got a coke. I came back

into the LP office and handed the girlfriend the coke. She said, “Thanks,” but she had trouble giving him a drink of it. I took the can of coke and gently tilted the suspects head back and let him drink. It was kind of awkward, but it was the best I could do. “Maybe if you can get a straw from McDonald’s; that would work fine,” I said to the girlfriend. The girlfriend went and got a straw from McDonald’s, and we waited for the police. It was now an hour after I was supposed to be off, and the cops finally showed up. The manager explained what happened to the officer, and he told him about the fight as well. The conversation went something like this…….

Manager: These two were taking merchandise, and putting it in their vehicle, and then returning for more merchandise. We had been watching them, and we had our security stop them. This one right here (pointing at the male suspect) started fighting; he hit one of our security guards in the face. We ended up putting him in handcuffs, and we brought him back here and called you guys. Police officer: So you guys want to charge them with the theft? Manager: Actually we can’t because we don’t have the four elements, so we were going to 86 them, but he started fighting, and that’s why we called you guys.

Police officer: (Sitting in a chair) Okay, let me go ahead and get some information. Police Officer: What’s your name? Suspect: my name is Mike ******** Police officer: What’s your social security number and birthdate? Suspect: My social is ********and my birthdate is ******* Police officer: (Talking on a cell phone) Yeah I need to run a Mike ********and his social security is ***********and is birthdate is******** Wow, Okay thanks a bunch (hanging up the phone and looking at the suspect.) So you just got out of prison after five years for strong arm robbery, and now you’re back at it,

uh? Suspect: Sir, the guards attacked me first, and that one over there choked me. Police officer: Good, I’m glad he choked you. You’re lucky they don’t charge you with the thefts because that would be commercial burglary. Girlfriend: It’s not commercial burglary; we didn’t break in. Police officer: Ma’am if you go into a store during normal business hours with the intent to steal; you’re committing commercial burglary, and it is the same thing as if you did break into the place. The suspects just sat there looking whipped. The police officer got up and said, “Let me talk to the security guards

outside.” The manager stood watch while me, Antonio, and the police officer stepped outside the office. “Okay, who got punched?” I raised my hand and said, “I did.” “Do you want to press charges for assault and battery?” The officer asked. I thought about it for a second and said, “No, I don’t need to be going to court and stuff, and I really just want to go home.” The officer said, “Okay,” and we went back into the office. The officer sat down again and started talking to the suspect, and their conversation went something like this….. Police officer: Okay this is what’s gonna happen. The manager is not pressing

charges for the theft, and that’s very generous I think. The security guard over there is willing to forgive and forget that you socked him in the face, so he’s not pressing charges. I would be more than happy to arrest you for something, but I’m in the middle of bigger and better things myself, so I’m gonna let you go. But you had better be on your best behavior, and you better not come back here because if I have to come out here for you again, I’m gonna arrest you for something, and I don’t care what it is. Suspect: You can’t just arrest a guy for no reason. Police officer: You see, that’s where

you’re wrong. You’ve never seen me write a report son. They’ll think you killed Jimmy Hoffa when I’m done with you. I busted out laughing. The cop and the suspect just turned and looked at me. I stopped laughing, and they looked back towards each other. I could tell that the police officer wanted to arrest that guy. That guy was a little punk, going around hitting people and robbing them. He just got out of prison for doing that shit. Apparently, he was in there lifting weights the whole time, and had the body to prove it. We took the handcuffs off the guy and released him and his girlfriend. The police officer was right,

they were extremely lucky. The in-store loss prevention associate had already gone home for the night, and the manager knew what they were doing but could not keep an eye on both of them. In the end, the strong arm robber got away with it. He got his ass whooped, but he still walked out of there a free man, and they still got away with some merchandise because we did not recover the stuff they apparently put in their car. Here’s the thing, when subduing a violent subject like the strong arm robber, all bets are off. That guy hit me pretty damn hard, and he could really hurt somebody with his strength and violence. I used a choke hold to subdue

him, but I really had no choice because that guy was dangerous. Once we got the cuffs on, I released the choke. It is not my intention to hurt anybody; if it were up to me, I would have just let that guy go, and why not because he got away with it anyways. I don’t know where the strong arm robber is today, but I hope he’s not out there committing crimes. That would be a shame, and such a waste. If he learned some mixed martial arts, I have no doubt he’d be a world champion cage fighter or something. Here is the thing, if a man goes into a store with the intention to steal, and he starts stealing, he has just committed commercial burglary. They have to

prove he had intent, so if he takes any “tools” in there with him, that would prove his intent. Here’s another thing, let’s say the guy gets confronted by a security guard or management, and he decides to start throwing the hands. Once he hits somebody, he has just graduated from petty theft, which is likely just a fine, to strong arm robbery, which is likely prison time. Can you see how a seemingly petty crime can become very serious? So, if you’re leaving a store, and a security guard or a manager stops you, don’t start hitting anybody. Trust me, the charges can get racked up very quickly, and it would be better to just remain

calm and call a lawyer in that situation. I’m not a shoplifter myself, but if I was, and I got confronted by somebody, I’d just run like crazy. Running won’t rack up extra charges, and if you’re in good shape, you might just get away. Remember, I’m not a lawyer, and I’m not giving anybody advice, and I don’t know everything. I’m just saying that violence may get you in even more trouble, so do yourself a favor and don’t be violent.

OSCAR! One of the things that always brought me pleasure was the fried chicken dinner that I would get at the Von’s next door. I remember going in there, and I could just smell that fresh, fried chicken that deep down inside I know ain’t no good for me, but I eat it anyways. I would go in there halfway through my shift, and the girl behind the counter would be making a fresh batch already. They also served rice, bread, and sometimes they had this wonderful chili beans that was kind of spicy. On days when I was really lucky, I’d be able to get the chicken dinner with that chili beans, and I loved it. I could

eat about three plates of food like that. Oh I would tear into that chicken, and it was so hot and fresh that steam would come out of it. The seasoning was just right and together with the chili beans it really rocked my world. I was enjoying myself eating a chicken dinner in the LP office on my lunch break when the door opened, and these three girls came in with a baby stroller. Gary followed closely behind them, and I knew it was a bust. The girls sat on the bench as instructed. Gary looked at me like he was pissed off. “Why did you not answer my call?” Gary asked me with his hands on his hips. “I’m on my lunch break man,” I replied. “You could

have clocked in, and went and helped me with the bust, and stuffed your face later MAN!” Gary said with anger and attitude. I looked at the shoplifters, and I saw only a bunch of women and children. “What’s wrong Gary? Are these suspects too scary for you?” I asked with attitude of my own. Gary just sat at his desk, and he was kind of slamming things around. “Neil is on duty, why didn’t you call him?” I asked while continuing to take another bite. Gary turned around real fast and said, “Go take your lunch break in the employee lounge like everyone else!” “Gladly,” I said with contempt. I got my food and got up and left the office. I was pissed off now. I take my lunch in the

LP office because it’s quiet and normally nobody is in there. There’s just too many damn people and flies, and noise in the employee lounge. I’m not taking my break in the employee lounge because I can’t stand to be around people like that. I went out to my car and sat in there for a while. While I was sitting in my car, I noticed that I could not see Neil anywhere. Not that it mattered, Neil was always unaccounted for. I can’t believe somebody with half a brain hired Neil has a security guard! That lazy fucker couldn’t protect shit; he ain’t even fit to guard my dog! Where was Neil anyways? Apparently, Neil had got this

nice new girlfriend. She would come and see him at work, and on this particular day Neil took his girlfriend for a nice little stroll. At some point, he heard Gary asking for assistance for an apprehension, but he took the battery out of his radio. Neil got into his girlfriend’s car, and they were in there doing what lovers do. The car was rocking a bit, and who gives a fuck that it’s broad daylight in the parking lot of WalMart. Neil figured that nobody was watching him, but on this day he was wrong. The store manager just happened to be sitting in his vehicle behind Neil’s girlfriend’s car, and he saw all of this bullshit going down. The store manager was a mean old fashioned gentleman,

and he did not take kindly to bullshit. The store manager was the kind of fella that would buy a bunch of kid’s ice cream, but he was stern when he needed to be. Neil was in the back seat with his face buried in cleavage when the store manager knocked on the window. “You’re fired young man,” the store manager said to Neil as he rolled down the window. I was clocking back onto duty, and Neil came walking through, and he looked really pissed off. He said nothing to me; he just clocked off and left. I went walking into the LP office. “What’s going on with Neil?” I asked. Gary looked at me all serious and said, “He’s being terminated because he was

not doing his job, and that is the ground that you are rapidly approaching.” I smirked and said, “Oh for realz? I have bad news for you Gary; sooner or later that is how it will go for all of us. The last thing to do is smile.” Gary just looked at me with a puzzled but troubled look on his face. Technically, the store manager is not supposed to be able to fire us guards, only the district loss prevention supervisor can do that. So Neil’s termination was not official for a few days. He did get fired though, and I felt satisfied that people finally saw what kind of guard he really was. So this one night, I was driving around in the security vehicle, and it was

actually a pretty quiet night. A voice comes over the radio, “We need security to the front ladies room please.” “Oh, what the fuck is this now?” I asked myself as I pulled over the security vehicle. I never liked responding to calls to the ladies room. The ladies room is where you stand the most danger of getting hit, kicked, maced, or zapped with a fucking stun gun. I go walking into the front of the store, and I did not see anything. This female associate was standing there, and she said, “This old lady was butt naked in the restroom just now.” My heart sunk with dread and disgust. “Is she still in there? I asked. “No, I

helped her get dressed, and she took off,” the female associate replied. “You didn’t look which way she went?” I asked with disappointment. “No, I think she went into the McDonald’s, but I’m not sure,” the associate replied. I went walking into the McDonald’s and right away the cashier was looking at me kind of funny, so right then and there I know the old lady had been in here. I walked up to the counter and asked, “Have you guys seen an elderly woman in here?” “Oh yeah, she came through here. She ordered all kinds of food; like twenty dollars’ worth, and then when it came time to pay she pulled out a hand full of pennies,” the McDonald’s cashier explained. I really hate this situation

because I know we got a live one. “Do you know which way she went?” I asked. “I think she left,” the cashier answered. “Oh thank god,” I said with much relief. Now deep down inside I know she’s still in the store. How do I know this? I know this because I’m not that lucky for this lady to just leave. I ordered a large coke and went back outside to resume my patrol. I’m telling myself that the old lady left, but deep down inside I know better. I’m in denial, and I want to believe she left. And so I’m driving around in the patrol vehicle and enjoying my soda and music when I hear assistant manager Montel get on the radio and say, “We got a code 89 in

jewelry; I need security here ASAP.” I parked the patrol vehicle and went back inside the store. I’m thinking it must be something serious if they’re calling for a code 89 in jewelry. I get to the jewelry department, and I see this Caucasian elderly female who appeared to be like in her 80s. I knew right away it was her. “What seems to be the problem here?” I asked. Assistant manager Montel pointed to the elderly woman and said, “She came into the jewelry department; she asked the associate behind the counter to see this ring, and when the associate showed it to her she took it and put it in her purse, and now she won’t give it back.” The old lady just stood there looking confused.

“Ma’am, could you please give the ring back to this nice man?” I asked as sweet as I could. “No! The ring is mine! Stay away from me!” the old lady shouted. I stood there not knowing what else to do or say. I observed that the old lady was wearing a hospital wrist band. I looked at assistant manager Montel and said, “She doesn’t want to give it back.” “Bullshit, take her purse from her, reach in there and pull it out, and give it to me,” assistant manager Montel demanded. “I’m not reaching into her purse,” I said. Assistant manager Montel and I were standing there arguing, and this old lady was starting to walk away. I noticed her and said,

“Hey, stop! I need you to give back the ring that belongs to us, or I’m calling the police on you,” I said with a stern voice. The old lady became very defensive. She said, “You call your coppers, and I’ll punch you out!” I laughed and said, “Give me a break!” The old lady got this really angry look on her face and came towards me. She clenched her fists, winded back, and started punching me in the stomach and chest area. She knocked me against this DVD display. She must have hit me like six or seven times. I stood there in a state of shock and growled out, “Goddam!! You gotta be fucking kidding me!” After she got done whooping my ass, she continued to walk away.

Assistant manager Montel had about enough of this bullshit, and he walked up, grabbed the old lady’s purse, reached in, and pulled out the ring in question. He handed the purse back to the old lady. He looked at me and said, “Now get her out of here. Do you think you can handle that?” I did not answer him; I just walked off and said to the old lady, “Come on, let’s go.” The old lady followed me to the front of the store near the registers, but then she stopped and refused to leave. “Come on lady let’s go,” I said as I tried my best to get her to leave. The old lady started looking around as if she were shopping. I was already angry, and I said, “If you don’t

leave now, I’m calling the cops.” “Oscar, I married you for the wrong reasons,” she replied to me. I thought “WHAT THE FUCK!” The old lady took my hand and smiled at me. She started calling me “Oscar.” I pulled my hand away from her and got on my radio and said, “Montel, she’s refusing to leave, and she keeps calling me Oscar; she seems to think that I’m her husband.” Assistant manager Montel replied back with laughter, “Hahahahah! Call the cops then Oscar! Hahahahah!” I mockingly replied, “Hehehe, very funny Montel!” He was still laughing over the radio. I got on my cell phone, and I called the police and told them who I was and what my situation was. The

dispatcher told me she was sending some officers out to assist me, but their ETA (estimated time of arrival) would be like an hour. I grabbed a female associate off the registers. She was a blonde haired girl in her twenties, and she was extremely attractive; her name was Jennifer. “Hi, I’m sorry to do this, but can I use you as a witness? I have a situation here,” I explained to Jennifer. “Sure, I’d love to help,” she said with a smile. Meanwhile, this old lady kept to my side like glue. She kept holding my hand and calling me Oscar. Jennifer started laughing; she instinctively knew what the situation was. So I start walking the old lady to the LP office

with Jennifer following us. The old lady spoke as if she intended to buy all kinds of stuff; she kept stopping to look at things and ask about the prices. She told Jennifer that we had been married for sixty years. Jennifer felt sorry for the old lady, and she seemed eager to help. I finally got this old lady back to the LP office, and I looked at her hospital wrist band and saw that her name was Barbara. I started calling her Barbara, and I was telling her to sit and rest for a little while. “Would you like to watch a little TV Barbara?” Jennifer asked while turning on the TV in the LP office. “Oh no! I can’t sit here and watch the fucking golden girls,” I said with a low voice. Jennifer just smiled, and she started

turning the channels looking for something that would peak Barbara’s interest. “I’m hungry,” Barbara said. Barbara got up and wanted to leave the office. I don’t want to put hands on her; I just want to keep her as calm as I can. “Come with me Barbara; I’ll get you something to eat,” I said. And so the three of us start heading to the employees lounge. I sat Barbara at one of the tables and Jennifer sat next to her. The associates in there were looking at us all weird. Jennifer was laughing because Barbara kept trying to hold my hand. I was being very patient with her. I kept telling myself that the cops would

come, and I would be getting off duty as my shift was ending, and then I’d be done with this fucking bullshit. “How many years did you work at that factory before you retired Oscar?” Barbara asked. “Oh, about 30 years or so,” I replied. Jennifer started giggling. Barbara smiled with teary eyes and said, “They told me you had passed away, but I knew you’d never leave me.” I did not reply; I felt bad for this lady, and I didn’t know what to say. Jennifer suddenly got this sad look on her face. I had been sitting there with this old lady and keeping her calm for a really long time. My shift ended already, but I couldn’t clock off. I thought this lady

would drive my ass to the grave too; I thought she’d never leave. Suddenly, these two police officers came walking in. “Oh thank god,” I said as I breathed a sigh of relief. I started talking to the officers while Jennifer talked to Barbara and kept her preoccupied. The officers knew this woman by name, apparently she is in the convalescent home, and she escapes from time to time. The officers have had to pick her up and take her back many, many times. “Okay so you guys got this?” I asked the officers. “Yeah, she’s gonna be quite a handful, but yeah,” one of the officer replied. “Oh great, its fucking shift change, and she’s gonna kick, fight and scream like she did the last time,” one of the officers

remarked. I started to walk away to clock off and get the fuck out of there, but something told me to stay. One of the officers said, “Barbara, let’s go.” “NO!” Barbara shouted starting to get upset again. One of the officers said, “Oh great, we’re gonna have to pick her up and drag her out like the last time.” The officers started to pick Barbara up, and she got really upset, “NO, I WANT MY HUSBAND,” she screamed. “Oscar, why don’t you help your wife to the car?” Jennifer asked me. I cringed at what I knew I had to do. I did not reply; I just walked over to Barbara and smiled real big. She smiled back at me as I sat down next to her. I

took her by the hand and said, “Barbara, I still have to work for a while longer, only a little while longer. These guys are my friends, and they will give you a ride back to the house, and I’ll come home when I get off work.” She smiled at me and nodded her head in agreement and said, “Okay.” And so I helped her up, and started to walk her out of the store holding her hand. Both the police officers and Jennifer were grinning real big. As luck would have it, it seemed that everybody who worked at the store just happened to be out there in the main aisles. I was walking her out, holding her hand, and one of the police officers said, “Oh they’re such a cute couple!” Jennifer and the two police officers

started laughing. They weren’t the only ones laughing either; assistant manager Montel saw us, and he started busting up. People were staring at us, and I felt so embarrassed that my face was fucking red. I heard one of the cops say, “Hey, he’s gonna be needing the night, and the morning off grrrrrrr.” Jennifer clapped her hands and was starting to laugh so hard she was having trouble breathing. The walk seemed to take forever as Barbara walked very slowly. I looked to my left, and I saw the stockman pointing at me and laughing. I looked to my right, and I saw the cashier at the McDonald’s staring at me with shock and disbelief. I finally got her to the

police car, and one of the officers opened the back seat door for her. Barbara turned around, leaned in, and kissed me on the cheek. I was frozen with fear and disgust as one of the officers busted out into delirious laughter. I got her into the car and said, “Now be sure to listen to these two nice men Barbara, and I’ll be home soon okay.” She said, “Okay.” I shut the door and muddled the words, “They don’t fucking pay me enough for this bullshit!” One of the cops patted me on the back and said, “Thanks man.” “Nothing to it, thank you,” I replied. I could hear the associates laughing all the way outside. I walked back into the store and people were still pointing at

me and laughing. Some of them saw the last kiss and that really got them going. Jennifer walked up to me and said, “That was a really nice thing that you did; you’ve got to be the sweetest guy I have ever met.” I smiled and said, “Ah yeah, I’m happy that you’re all happy, but I gotta get the fuck outta here!” I clocked out and left in a big hurry.

I’m gonna get you Brenda One night, I found myself back in training, and I was going all out. I had not really trained in such a long time, and I felt as if the martial arts were passing me by. I usually started with a five-mile run in 45 minutes, and then I’d

do an hour of cardio kickboxing, and then I’d do an hour of Brazilian JiuJitsu. I was drenched in sweat, and it felt so damn good to be back in training again; I felt like I was getting back to my old self. The class was almost over, and the instructor (who was a professional MMA fighter) told us that we were going to be doing MMA sparring. MMA sparring is really rough, and some of the students elected not to participate, which is totally understandable. I should have elected not to participate, but I’m a fucking dumb ass like that, so I told the instructor that I would fight. The whole gym got really quiet as some people left, some people watched, and

some people stood ringside gearing up for their match. I saw the first fight; these guys went in there and were hitting each other like it was the real thing. The fight was fast and furious with a lot of striking for the first 30 seconds, and then it ended with fatigued ridden grappling. I nervously paced back in forth in anticipation of my fight, and now I’m thinking that maybe I should have said no, but I can’t back down now. The fight ended, and the instructor said, “Ricky, are you ready?” “Ah yeah,” I answered. We were wearing these amateur MMA gloves that were kind of thick, a growing protector, and that was it. We fought in a ring that was normally used for kickboxing. I stepped into the

ring and saw my opponent standing across from me. You know when you get scared, and you get that feeling in your stomach that feels like butterflies? We stood and waited for the bell, which seemed like an eternity. Finally, the bell rang and this guy put his hands up and started dancing my way. My opponent had a really mean look on his face, but I could see that he was just as scared as I was because his hands were shaking. If you’re old enough to read this, then I’m betting that you probably know what it feels like to be in a fight; you get this tunnel vision, everything starts happening real fast, and your heart rate is probably like 220

beats per minute. POW, BANG, BOOM! We exchanged punches and kicks, and vicious combinations like it was a real fight. I was doing pretty well, than all of this sudden……….BAM! I felt this guy’s fist crash into the side of my face, and all I saw after that was the blinding flash of light followed by intense vertigo sensation as the room seemingly was spinning out of control. I realized that he was bigger and stronger than me, so I can’t fight him toe to toe. I stayed away from him as I had no wish to be clobbered again. I heard the instructor shouting, “Go for the takedown!” I wasn’t sure which one of us he was talking to, but it sounded like a good

idea to me. This guy was still coming after me, and I had no further desire to continue striking, so I evaded him, moving to his left, and I threw a wicked leg kick. When that kick landed on my opponent’s thigh, it made this loud “POW” sound; I heard somebody say; “Now that was a leg kick.” After kicking my sparring partner in the leg, I did a “Switch kick” and tried to kick him in the head. My opponent quickly moved back, and my foot missed his face by less than an inch! My opponent backed off me, and I went forward very quickly and shot in on his legs, taking him down to the ground onto his back. I thought with excitement, “I’m winning,

I’m winning!” I had this guy on his back, and I quickly bypassed his defenses and sat on his chest and started punching him in the face. He struggled very hard to get free, and I just kept hitting him. All of this sudden, he grabbed my left hand and did this nice ass reversal technique that I did not see coming, and now he was on top of me. I had the guard (legs wrapped around his waist), but that did not seem to matter; this guy pounded away at my head, and he was a little pissed off. I kept getting hit in the face, over, and over and over again. I could taste my own blood, and I was not able to defend myself. I watched in relief as the instructor stepped in and pulled the guy off of me. I was breathing so hard

that I thought I was gonna start hyperventilating, and my heart was damn near beating out of my chest. My opponent gave a “high five” to his buddy in his corner. The instructor tended to me; I was really fucked up. I was bleeding from my nose, and I had blood all over me. I sat up and started taking off the gloves. One of the guys brought me some towels and pressed it up against my face tilting my head back. My opponent came over and looked concerned, “Hey man, good fight. Are you alright?” my opponent asked. “Yeah, never better,” I replied barely able to speak. My opponent shook my hand and went away. The instructor got

me out of the ring, and said, “Okay, who’s up next?” Minutes later, I was driving home thinking about all of the serious ass whooping’s I’ve received in that God forsaken gym. “Why do I do this to myself?” I asked. Here’s the thing, I have to train hard to be able to deal with certain violent subjects that I run into out there at work. I love the martial arts and would likely train like that anyways, even if I were an accountant or something. But working as a security guard gave me a little extra motivation. Remember the strong arm robber? Some of the people we run into are violent and potentially dangerous. People don’t realize just how dangerous

the security profession actually is. This guy that I know had been a guard for like 16 years, and he told me that statistically speaking, security guards get killed more than cops. It sounds true to me because if I were a criminal, I’d be reluctant to attack a police officer with all his training, gear, guns, pepper spray, tazor’s, K-9’s, and additional back-up, but I’d have no problem assaulting an unarmed, untrained, security guard. You hear stories all the time of security guards getting hurt and killed on the job. If you’re a police officer, and you get killed, you’ll get a medal, a funeral that’s like a parade, and people remember you as a hero. If you’re a

security guard (earning a little more than minimum wage with no health benefits), and you get killed on the job, you don’t get anything, you don’t get any medals, and people likely won’t remember you at all. People act like what we do is not a big deal; they act like they couldn’t give a shit. But the fact is that without private security, crime would skyrocket so fast, and so much that even the police would never be able to keep up with the work-load. And God forbid some big, rich prick like Sam Walton would have to fight somebody like the strong arm robber for his own merchandise. So one night, I’m patrolling in the security vehicle and doing my usual

routine of music, and coke; I was the only one on duty. I see this couple sitting on the bench outside the main exit. The male was Hispanic, tattoos, about 150 pounds, and dressed like a gang member. The female was Caucasian, attractive, and about 130 pounds. The guy had his arm around the female, and at first glance they appeared to be a normal couple. I stopped the security vehicle and just watched them; something about them didn’t seem right to me. After about a minute, I saw nothing to warrant my suspicion, except the girl was visibly unhappy. I reluctantly resumed patrol, but I started to get this uneasy feeling. “Something’s going on with those motherfuckers,” I

thought with suspicion. I circled back and headed back down the same row that I came from. The couple was still sitting there, and I thought maybe I should get off the car and talk to them. I did not really want to get out and talk to them either; the problem was that I did not see anything tangible to justify questioning. I parked the security vehicle, and I thought that I would talk to them anyways. As I approached them on foot, my adrenaline started running through my body. I casually walked over and stood by the couple facing the parking lot. I looked over at them, and the woman was looking down as if trying to avoid me, but the man was looking at me as if

trying to stare me down. Their body language confirmed my suspicions, but I still needed more before I can justify taking action. The man and I had a little stare down contest for a few seconds. I approached them and asked, “Is everything alright?” The man said, “Yes sir.” I looked over at the girl, and she had her head up but was facing away from me. I looked at her attempting to make eye contact and asked, “Ma’am, are you okay?” She finally glanced at me and said, “Yeah, I’m alright.” I feel like an idiot. I know something is wrong here, but I don’t know what to do. You see, security guards are not trained to handle this kind

of shit. Domestic disputes are some of the most dangerous situations you can come across. I stepped away from the couple thinking about my next move. I figured that I would stay close by and just keep an eye on them. Suddenly, the couple started getting up and the man maintained his arm around the woman’s head and shoulders has they got up. They turned away from me and were walking in the opposite direction. The man looked back at me briefly, and he gave me a crazy look. The menacing look in the eyes of a crazy person is like pornography; it’s hard to describe, but you know it when you see it. They were leaving the property, and I was not happy about that. I walked over to them

and said, “Excuse me!” The couple stopped and turned around, but the man still had his arm around the woman. “Ma’am, I’m gonna need you to come with me,” I said with a stern voice. While maintaining his arm around the woman, the man stepped in front of her and leaned in towards me, “What’s the problem, sir?” he asked. I physically separated them with my hands and got his arm from off of her. “Hey! Don’t fucking touch me sir! What the fuck do you want?” the man demanded. “Young lady, I need a word with you for a moment,” I said keeping my eyes on the man. The man stepped back, but he almost seemed like he was gonna swing

on me. He put his hands in his pockets, and I did not like that, not one bit. I looked him right in the eyes and said, “Keep your hands out of your pockets!” The man took his hands out of his pockets, and he looked at the woman and was obviously making eye contact with her. “It’s okay officer, I don’t wanna go with you,” the woman said sounding like she was about to cry. “I understand ma’am, but if you would please step right over here for a moment, so I can have a word with you,” I replied. The woman agreed to talk to me, and we stepped away from her male companion. The man followed us grabbing the woman’s arm, and I pushed him back off of her. The man’s nostrils

were flared, his eyes wide with anger; he stood there with clenched fists. “Back off!” I said with stern warning. “I don’t wanna back off,” the man said. “I don’t care what you want! I’m not asking you, it’s not a choice. If you approach us like that again, I’ll take you down!” I said. The man stood back, and I took the girl a few more steps away from him. I positioned her to where she was facing away from him, and I said, “Ma’am, the reason I wanted to talk to you is because I think there may be some kind of a domestic problem going on with you and him.” The woman had fear in her eyes; she nodded her head and said, “Yes, there is. He’s fucking crazy! He wants

me to leave with him, but I don’t want to.” “Okay, wait here,” I said as I walked over to him. “I need you to leave the property now!” I said to the man. “Yes sir, but I’m not leaving without my girl,” he replied. “Oh yeah you are. If you don’t leave right now, I’m gonna apprehend you for trespassing, and hand you over to the cops, and I’m willing to bet you’re on parole,” I said. The man started to take off running, but then he stopped and turned around and yelled out, “I’m gonna get you Brenda!” I took the woman, now identified as Brenda back to the LP office. I asked her what was going on, and she told me

that he was an old boyfriend, but then he went to jail. When he got out he started to follow her around. He eventually intimidated her into dating him again, and tonight he was acting crazier than usual. She told me that following an argument earlier, he punched her, and bit her on the face. I looked at her face, and I observed what appeared to be teeth marks on her left cheek. I was shocked and appalled. “Ma’am, I think you should file a police report, and get a restraining order. He would go back to jail where he belongs,” I said. “No, I can’t! He’s fucking crazy! He’ll fucking kill me if I report him!” Brenda was scared, and I tried to convince her to report him for the assault earlier. I

asked her if the assault occurred in the store, and she said no. The only thing I can do now is get her home safely. “Do you have a car?” I asked her. “No,” she replied. “Do you have anybody who can come here and pick you up?” I asked. “No,” she answered. “How were you gonna get home Ma’am?” I asked. “I have to take the bus, we took the bus up here,” she answered. “If you start jumping on buses there’s a good chance you’ll run into him again,” I explained to her. “I know,” she retorted. I suggested to her that I can call the police, and the police would give her a ride home. Brenda was just too scared; she did not want any police involvement. “Do you

live here in town?” I asked. “Yes,” she answered. “Do you have enough money for a cab?” I asked even though I already knew the answer to that question. “No,” she answered. I told her that I would pay for her cab ride home, and that she needed to call me as soon as she made it home to let me know she made it home okay. She seemed surprised that I would pay for her cab ride. She agreed, and I called her a cab and gave her the number for the LP office. Her taxi arrived a short time later, and I just paid for her fare up front (it was only $20). A short time later, Brenda called me at the LP office and told me that she made it home safely.

Here’s the thing, I’ve seen a lot of domestic situations at WalMart. Domestic situations are extremely difficult because most of the time there is nothing you can do. Technically, I was not supposed to intervene has much as I did because there were no complaints, and I did not see him do anything wrong. Despite the lack of tangible proof of danger, I could see it. I saw it in his eyes; that guy was gonna hurt that girl. He already attacked her earlier that day, and who knows what he might have done if he got her alone. Domestic situations are also potentially dangerous for the security guard. That situation could have easily ended in a

flash of violence. I go ahead and take the risk because if I let that little punk hurt that girl, then I just wouldn’t respect myself the next morning.

The Boy Who Stole Yugi-Yo

Cards And so one day I’m at work, in the garden center, standing next to Peter, an assistant manager. Peter and I were watching this older woman who had fallen. She was lying on the ground and moaning a little bit. She was a white female, around 60 years of age, and she was wearing this white dress with flowers all over it; she looked like a nice lady you’d see at church or something. Assistant manager Peter stood with his arms crossed in front of him; he was silently judging this woman. I kneeled down beside her and asked where it hurts, and she said, “It’s my hip.” I stood up, and assistant

manager Peter and I walked away to talk in private. Our conversation went something like this… Peter: what do you think? Me: I don’t know. I’ve called the ambulance, and they’re enroute. Peter: I think she’s fucking faking it myself. I’m gonna do some research, and I’m gonna see if she had, or has any lawsuits for slipping and falling in a store. Me: I also think she’s faking it. Peter: Why do you say that? Me: She doesn’t seem to be in that much pain. She says she broke her hip, and I’m no doctor, but I would think that if she broke her hip she would be in much more pain, and, therefore, much more

distress. Peter: Yeah, she’d be screaming. Look at her! It’s not even a good fucking acting job! I’ll bet she’s a fucking gold digging leech! I agreed with Peter, and I think that woman was malingering a little bit, but I didn’t really give a shit. Assistant manager Peter obviously cared a great deal. He was very serious about protecting the store from any liability because God forbid WalMart should lose a little money, right? I went walking into the LP office to pull the tape of the woman falling. Assistant manager Peter wanted me to get the tape,

write a report, and preserve the tape for later. I opened the door to the LP office and Gary was sitting in there talking on the phone. He was talking to Nicole. He hung up after a few minutes and told me that Nicole is back working in loss prevention. I asked if she was coming back to our store, and he said no. Nicole was asked to come back to loss prevention and was now working at a WalMart across town. I wrote my report and said nothing, but I wished we could have her back. The place just wasn’t the same without her. Gary stood up and said, “Well, gotta get to work.” He walked out the LP office and was going out to try to catch some shoplifters.

I was in there doing some paperwork a short time later and all of this sudden the LP office door swings open. Assistant manager Craig came walking in. I fucking hated assistant manager Craig; he was bald, severely obese, old, ugly, and fucking mean. He had this little kid with him who was a Hispanic male, like 13 years of age. He busted the boy stealing those dumb ass Yugi-Yo cards or whatever they they are. The boy was crying, and he seemed like he was really scared. His mother and younger brother came with assistant manager Craig, and they too were both crying. Assistant manager Craig stood grinning with his hands on his hips, staring down the boy;

he was really pleased with himself. The boy’s mother had to go somewhere, and it was urgent. She didn’t want her younger son seeing his brother like that. She told assistant manager Craig that she was gonna go do what she had to do, drop off her younger son, get some money, so she can pay for the cards he stole. She looked at her boy and gave him a hug, “I’ll be right back okay,” she tearfully said. “It’s my fault mama; he was trying to steal the yugio cards for me!” The younger brother cried out. “Hey it’s not your fault, it’s my fault, I did it!” the older brother replied trying to reassure his little brother. The little brother then walked up to assistant

manager Craig crying hysterically and said, “Please don’t take my brother to jail!” The mother quickly took her younger son away, so he did not have to further witness his older brother in that situation. The boy was now all alone, crying, and obviously scared. I’m getting a little emotional, and I’m starting to get pissed off. I firmly believe that if kids steal and get caught, the store should recover the merchandise, and release the kid to the parents. There is no reason for this kid to be here; he should be leaving the store with his mom and little brother. He stole some cheap ass, trivial ass playing cards; assistant manager Craig is acting like he tried to rob the fucking cash

office. Craig shut the door and said, “Are you ready to go to jail?” The kid just sunk his head and continued sobbing. Assistant manager Craig very slowly walked over to the kid. He towered over him like a fucking bully, and then he bent down and got in the kids face and said, “Do you know what happens to a kid like you, who goes to juvenile hall? He gets real friendly with another bigger kid real fast!” I stood up and said, “Why Craig, you sound like you speak from extensive experience.” Assistant manager Craig looked at me with his eyes wide with anger, “What did you say?” he asked with a challenging tone.

“You heard me,” I replied standing up to him. Assistant manager Craig pointed his finger in my face and very threateningly said, “Mind your own business!” I smiled and said, “I’m security, this is my business.” Craig and I stood there silently face to face. He wanted to swing on me; I could feel it. I was hoping he would swing on me because I’d happily beat him into the fucking ground in front of everybody! But assistant manager Craig is not as stupid as he looks; he just snarled at me and walked out of the office. The boy sat there still sobbing with his head down. “Are you alright?” I asked. He just nodded his head signaling that he was okay. Later, the boy’s mother came

back, and she paid for the cards that he stole. She apologized for the trouble and took her son home. After they were gone, I called the district loss prevention supervisor and told him what assistant manager Craig said to a minor. He apparently did not give a shit because nothing was ever done about it. Here’s the thing, if you’re a parent, and you’re reading this, the chances are that you probably shop at WalMart. And if you shop at WalMart, there’s a chance that when you’re not looking, one of your kids may take something that does not belong to them. And if your kid does that then there’s a chance he or she could get caught. Parents are often very

concerned for their children in such a situation. It’s important to understand that while your child did something foolish, both you, and your child still have rights. If at all possible, never leave your child alone with the WalMart personnel; in my experience, they just cannot be trusted. The best thing to do is stay calm, and talk to the manager or whomever it is doing the apprehension. Most managers only care about money, so if you pay for the merchandise they will likely let your child go. They will have you sign a trespass form that says your child is not allowed to come to WalMart alone until the age of 18. Now, again I’m not a lawyer, I don’t

know the law that well (don’t care to either), and I’m not giving anybody legal advice. I’m simply telling you what I was told by my supervisors, and what I observed working at WalMart. It is very important to find out what the applicable laws are in your state and county because in such a situation you’re gonna want to protect your child. For example, many times a manager will try to intimidate you into paying restitution. They’ll tell you that you’ll get a bill in the mail, and it will be anywhere from $50-$500. Most parents agree to pay because they’re scared, and they don’t know what their rights are. The fact is you don’t have to pay any damn

restitution unless a judge orders you to do so. A guy like assistant manager Craig is a fucking bully, and a guy like that will try to punk you into paying a ridiculous bill. Don’t let them punk you! I was told while working there that the restitution bill is bullshit. You don’t have to pay unless it is court ordered. The reason is because technically speaking, since WalMart recovered the merchandise, it’s not a business loss. Now, I also heard while working there that if you get busted for shoplifting, and they release you deciding not to press charges, they still have a whole year from the time the incident occurred to change their mind and press charges. I

don’t know if there is any truth to that, and I personally have never seen nothing like that, but it’s just what I heard. That seems like blackmail to me. Because if you walk out of there, and they don’t press charges, but send you a bill. You decide not to pay it, so they get pissed off and press charges; like I said blackmail. As for assistant manager Craig, I understand the whole scared straight thing, even though I personally don’t agree with it. But to me, he made a sexually suggestive comment to a minor with the intention of making him feel afraid, and that to me is totally unacceptable. I found his body language

and comments towards that kid to be very unprofessional, threatening, cowardly, and perverse.

An abrupt and painful end I love great food! One of my favorite things to do is eat out at a nice restaurant. In the shopping center where our store was located, we had some damn fine food there. Von’s had a Chinese place, and fried chicken, we had McDonald’s, and we also had a really great pizza place there too. I loved that damn pizza place! Their pizza was very expensive, but I tell you it was worth every damn penny of it, and I would have gladly paid more to get it. Of course, I was starting to gain some

weight, but I sort of don’t care. The way I figured, if that pizza would be the death of me, then at least I’ll die happy. I would go into that place and get the personal pizza special with supreme toppings, lots of meat, and lots of extra cheese. This was my way of treating myself. So this one day for lunch, I went and got the personal pizza special and I took it “to go” and ate it in the LP office. So I’m in there eating, and having a jolly old time when that damn office door swings open. I closed my eyes and cringed as I knew it was Gary with another damn apprehension. I turned around to see what we were dealing with, and it was just some damn

kids. I was just about done with my food anyways, and I got the pizza box and threw it in the trash. We processed the apprehension and afterwards I left the office to go do my patrol outside. A short time later, I got a call from Daniel over the radio, “Ricky, can I see you in the office please?” “Sure, I’ll be right there,” I replied. I parked the security vehicle, and went to the LP office. Daniel was standing in there; he smiled, but I could tell he had some bad news for me. Our conversation went something like this… Daniel: Hey man, look, Gary is pissed off. He says every time he comes in here for an apprehension; you’re in here

eating. He said you threw your garbage in the trash can and did not bother to empty the trash can. He says the LP office is looking kind of messy, and he’s tired of us guards, not cleaning up after ourselves. Me: (I clacked my tongue in disgust) Fuck him! Daniel: He wants you to start taking your lunch in the break room like all the other employees. Me: Oh that is such bullshit; he eats in here too! Daniel: I’m just telling you what he’s saying man. He left this note right here man. I looked at this note that was pinned to

the bulletin board. The note reads… “ATTENTION ALL GUARDS! This office is a mess! You guys are a bunch of slobs, and you don’t clean up after yourselves; THIS IS GONNA CHANGE. From here on out, there will be no eating in the LP office, AND YOU WILL CLEAN UP YOUR MESSES.” It’s time we start working as a team and maintain a neat, clean, and professional office.” I got so angry that I wanted to knock a hole in the wall. I can’t start eating in the break room because I’m a complete hermit. I am not a “people person” at all, and I don’t care to be. I paced back and forth unsure of what I should do. I

continued talking to Daniel… Me: Neat, clean, PROFESSIONAL? Give me a break! This is WalMart, not TARGET! And who the fuck does he think he is? He thinks he’s the shit because he’s a dumb ass WalMart store detective. I hope that one of these days real soon, somebody puts an ABRUPT AND PAINFUL END TO HIS FUCKING PARADE! Daniel: (laughing) man, calm down dude! Me: I can’t stand this prick man! Somebody seriously needs to take him back to the fucking zoo! I sat down, and started writing a note to Gary; it reads, “ATTENTION GARY!

Cleaning up the office is your responsibility as well! You are also responsible for the mess because you eat in here too! You wanna be neat, clean, and professional uh? Oh please, don’t make me laugh! In case it has escaped your attention, there’s a smashed dead fly on your computer monitor, and it’s been there for like three weeks! Furthermore, I resent the implication that we don’t do our jobs. If you want to be all ‘professional’ then stop being a hypocrite and lead by example.” “Take that you punk-bitch motherfucker!” I said as I pinned my note over his on the bulletin board. I left the LP office and went back outside to

resume my patrol. About an hour later, I was driving the patrol vehicle near the garden center, and I saw Daniel walking towards me. He signaled me to stop. I parked the vehicle and got out; I knew right away what this was all about. Our conversation went like this… Me: What’s happening Daniel? Daniel: (Smiling) okay, now Gary is really pissed off. He saw your note, and he took pictures of it, wrote a report, and sent it to the District Loss Prevention Supervisor. You might get into some trouble over this. Me: (with a disgusted look on my face) are you fucking kidding me? Daniel: Nope. Me: He was in there taking pictures of

the note? Daniel: Yep. Me: Geeze, what an idiot! Daniel: I’m just letting you know man; you might get a write up or something. Me: I don’t give a fuck! I do what I do, and I have no regrets or excuses. Daniel: Well I’m gonna head out of here, I’ll see you tomorrow. Me: Bye. I resumed patrol, and I was a little pissed off. I didn’t care that I might get into trouble. These people act as if I want to spend the rest of my life working at WalMart. A little while later, I’m driving around, and I see Gary walking to his truck. He waved at me like he’s

my buddy or something. I did not acknowledge him; I just kept driving. Later that night, I went back into the LP office, and it was clean. I looked at the computer monitor, and that dead fly was gone. I turned my attention towards the bulletin board, and my note was gone. I just sat down and did my paperwork. I knew that my time at WalMart was ending, and I could feel it coming. I was not very popular with the other loss prevention associates or management. People silently wanted me gone, and I could just feel it. I resolved that I would just start looking for another job. I figured that if I start working two jobs again, I could save money, and if I lost

WalMart I’d have money, and I’d already have another job. I wondered how long it will be, but I knew it wouldn’t be long. I knew that pretty soon, my job with WalMart would soon come to an abrupt and painful end. A week later, I was scheduled to work the night shift. My nightshift was from 9:00 at night, to 6:00 in the morning. I was happy to be working the nightshift. First of all, I loved the nightshift because it was so dark and quiet and that appeals to my creepy nature. I don’t have to deal with anybody either, that’s the other thing. Gary and I were not getting along, although at least we were mature about it, and we did not really say anything.

Gary normally went home in the evening, and I was glad because I did not even want to look at him. I slept as much as I could before working this nightshift, but I was under some stress, and I just couldn’t sleep that well. I got up and got dressed for work, just another sleepless night. I was driving down the street from WalMart, and I noticed that the power seemed to be out in the neighborhood. Buildings had no lights, and it was looking pretty dark. As I pulled into the WalMart parking lot, I noticed that all the lights in the whole area were out. The lights in the building were out, and the all the lights in the parking lot were out too. “Ahhh, what

the fuck is this?” I asked myself as I drove through the parking lot. I observed that the parking lot was near empty, so I knew that the power had to have been out for quite some time, and the customers had already been evacuated. I parked my car and proceeded to walk inside the store. As I walked through the parking lot, I noticed Gary’s truck was there, and I knew he’d be working tonight. “Great! I gotta work with that scumbag!” I thought with disappointment. The exit door was unlocked, and Gary was standing there with a flashlight. “Do you have a flashlight Ricky?” Gary asked. “No,” I answered. “Jesus! You’re a security guard, and you don’t have a flashlight?”

Gary asked with contemptuous implications. “No Gary, I do not have a flashlight,” I repeated. “Here, take this one,” Gary replied. He handed me the flashlight he was holding, and he said, “I want you to stay right here, and search all the employees as they leave. If they have lunch boxes, have them open it and move things around for you.” I took the flashlight and said, “Okay.” So I’m standing there in the dark, and when employees leave I say, “I need to see inside your lunch boxes before you leave. The employees would stop, open their boxes, and I’d shine the light in there, and if I needed to see something I’d ask them to move things around.

“Okay, thanks, you can go. Next…” I would say. At 10 o clock, a lot of employees get off work. So I knew I’d have a big line pretty soon. Gary came, and he asked, “Did you catch anybody? “No,” I replied. “Okay, keep searching,” Gary said as he walked outside. I was hoping he would leave, but I knew he was only taking a break. I knew he’d be working the nightshift, and this power outage would make a long and difficult night. Gary came back in and went to the back; I knew he would be conducting surveillance because that’s what the in-store detectives do in a situation like this. I really wished the power would just come back on, so I could go outside for patrol. Ten o’clock

finally rolled around, and I saw the employees coming. “Get in a single filed line; I got to search you guys going out,” I said. People were lining up, and I would briefly search their lunch boxes, backpacks, purses, and so forth. Some people were cracking jokes saying things like, “O-oh, security is searching us; I guess I better put this brand new PlayStation back!” There was laughter and wise cracks, and the employees did not mind being searched. People were even joking and laughing about it. This one guy who was getting off was an openly gay man; he walked up, put his hands on the wall, spread his feet, and said, “Frisk me officer!” Everybody

started laughing so hard when he did that. Not only were most of these employees honest, but nearly all of them were in good spirits about being searched. Most of the employees were gone, and there was no longer a line. I thought the 10 o’clock crew had already left when I saw this girl come walking up. I recognized her, her name was Sandra, and she was a Hispanic female in her twenties. Sandra was very attractive; she used to flirt with me a little bit sometimes. I liked her, but I’m too socially awkward to act on that. When she saw me standing there, she stopped and hesitated for a moment. I noticed

she was holding a lunch box. She stopped almost as if she was debating leaving; I knew right away she had something in her box that didn’t belong to her. She slowly started walking towards me, and she asked, “Is that you Ricky?” “Yes, it’s me, is that you Sandra?” I replied. “Yeah, it’s me, I’m on my way home,” she said. Sandra started to walk past me, but I said, “Stop, I need to check your lunch box.” She stopped, and she said, “Oh hell no! You’re not searching my lunch box!” She continued to walk past me, and I got pissed off at the way she was just “dismissing me.” “Hey!” I said with a stern pissed off voice. She stopped and hesitantly faced me; there was fear in her

eyes, and she clutched her lunch box to her chest with a death grip. We stood there for few tense seconds, and she looked like a deer in the headlights. I did not look in her lunch box; I just said, “Go on, get outta here.” She quickly turned and walked out the store. I know for a fact that if I would have checked her lunch box, I would have found some stolen merchandise. If that happened, I would not be able to look the other way. I would have reported her, and she would have been terminated, and then WalMart would have pressed charges; she likely would have gone to jail. I’m not about to do that to a young woman, working at WalMart, with a kid at

home. Moments later, Gary came walking up, “Have you found anything?” he asked. “Nope, all of our workers are as clean as a preacher’s sheets,” I answered. “Okay, you can go outside now because we’re gonna be locking up the doors, and no more employees are coming out until midnight,” Gary said. I felt really relieved. I handed him the flashlight, and he said, “Hang on to that, you’ll probably need it later.” “Okay,” I replied. I went back to the LP office and got the key for the security vehicle. I walked back outside, and got a coke out of the vending machine, and got into the security vehicle. I put in my favorite CD and started cruising. “Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all,” I thought as I

drove around listening to my favorite songs. I loved cruising and listening to the radio and tonight was an extra easy night because we don’t have any customers to deal with. I knew I had to get out and search the employees again at midnight, but that was it. When on patrol, I followed a routine. I drove around the back of the store and back to the front again. I drove up and down the aisles even in an empty parking lot. I drove around to the back of the store, and circled back to the front. As I drove back to the front, I observed Gary walking to his truck, “Yeah go on, go home you jackass!” I thought. I drove around a little bit, then I observed Gary

walking back into the store. “Dammit! This guy just won’t leave!” I thought with frustration. I continued to patrol and tried to forget this guy was there. I stopped at midnight and stood at the exit to inspect the employees coming out, but one of the assistant managers said, “Don’t worry, we got this.” “Okay, great,” I replied. I got another coke and went back to the security vehicle. I was so damn happy, and I was drinking soda, listening to my favorite songs, and just cruising around. I Saw Gary walking back to his truck again, but I didn’t pay him any attention. It was about three in the morning, and I found myself hitting that stump when

your body is demanding sleep. I had this little conversation with my body, “Oh now you wanna sleep. You couldn’t sleep earlier before we came to work, but now you want to sleep. Well that’s just too damn bad because you can’t sleep!” I said to my body. “I’ll just get another coke that’s all,” I said to myself. I stopped the vehicle and started going through my pockets, and I realized that I had no more change for the vending machine. “Oh no! No coke, no hope,” I thought. I was coming from the back of the store and was near the garden center when all of this sudden the lights came back on. “Super!” I thought. I drove around to the front, and I observed some of the workers sitting out on the break

benches. Everything seemed to be going normally, and I resolved that I would take my lunch break soon. As I was driving around back, I got a call on the radio, “Assistant Manager Zack to Ricky…” “This is Ricky go ahead…” I answered. “What is the number for the District Loss Prevention Supervisor?” Zack asked. I got a confused look on my face. I wondered why the fuck he needs to know that, and then I wondered why the fuck is he calling the DLPS at 3:00 am. “Call me on my cell phone, and I’ll tell you. My number is…” I replied. Moments later, my cell phone started ringing. “Hello?” I answered. “Hi Ricky, it’s me Zack,” came the reply. “I

didn’t want to give the DLPS number over the radio, but his number is…” I explained. Zack read me back the number for confirmation and said, “Okay, great, thanks!” then he hung up. I put my phone back into my pocket; I knew something was going on. Assistant managers don’t just call the district supervisor in the middle of the night for no reason. My mind was racing trying to think back to what I must have done. I haven’t done anything wrong, at least not lately. I tried to ignore the nagging feeling that something big was going down. Finally, I parked the patrol vehicle and went inside the store. As I walked through the front entrance, I observed that everything seemed to be

normal. There was a cashier at one of the registers, the lights were on, and people were working in their respective departments. I walked into the LP office, and I saw Gary sitting in one of the chairs, and I saw assistant manager Zack sitting in Gary’s desk, and doing work on the computer. Gary would not look at me; he just looked straight ahead at Zack. I stood there for a moment thinking to myself, “Okay, now this is really weird.” “All my stuff is there,” Gary said. “What in the fuck is going on?” I thought. I turned my attention towards the video monitors and asked, “Are the tapes working?” Nobody answered me. I saw that the tapes were

recording, and I decided to leave. I opened the door to go back outside, and Zack said, “Actually Ricky, why don’t you stay here.” I turned around, closed the door, and I finally asked, “What’s going on?” “They got me man,” Gary said with a slight smile on his face. I stood there pondering what Gary just said; amazingly, it still didn’t sink in. I looked at the computer monitor, and Zack was filling out an apprehension report. In that moment, my dumb ass finally figured it out; they caught Gary stealing! I couldn’t believe it! I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t see it with my own eyes. I thought Gary was an asshole, but I never for one second thought he was dirty. I thought that I

would be more likely to steal than he would. I was beside myself; I was in a state of shock. I slowly walked over to the shoplifter’s bench and sat down. I didn’t know what to say; I sort of sat there looking stumped. Man I’ve seen some crazy shit in my time at WalMart, but this thing takes the prize! Gary sat there looking around at the office; he looked like a guy who was taking one last look around before he was thrown to the lions. “Man, I’ve worked for WalMart loss prevention for almost a decade, and I never thought I would one day see this office from the view of the shoplifter,” Gary said. I started feeling bad for Gary; I knew how

much trouble he was in, and I was sorry that this was happening to him. I remembered how I spent the last week wishing he would get fired or something, and I felt somehow responsible for this event in a weird, Karmic way. I felt guilty for my wishes on Gary, and I felt sympathy towards him. “Gary is there any way you can just pay for this stuff?” I asked. Gary just smiled at me and said, “They won’t let me do that man; busting a security guy is like the best thing for management.” Zack turned around and said, “We didn’t bust you Gary, you busted yourself.” I looked at the stuff on the desk, and I saw a portable DVD player, and a few other miscellaneous items. Gary took out this

day planner, opened it, and took out some playing cards. “Here, I’m not gonna to bullshit you guys,” Gary said while handing me the cards. We were standing face-to-face, and then Gary took out this clip on pocket knife from off his belt and handed it to me. I made eye contact with him as he handed me the knife. He looked me in the eyes and said, “Don’t look at me like I’ve been doing this the whole time.” I didn’t reply; I just sat back down. “Why did you do it then, Gary?” Zack asked. “Because the holidays are coming, and I’m hurting for money, man,” Gary replied. Just then the door opened up, and this other assistant manager came

walking in. He was an oriental male, about 5’8, and 150 pounds, and his name was Bruce. Bruce looked at Gary and me, and said that he just got off the phone with the DLPS, and he is enroute. Gary looked pissed off. He looked right at me, and he said, “I already know the procedure when questioning internal shoplifting suspects. I’m gonna tell the DLPS straight up, don’t even bother questioning me because your training ain’t gonna work on me.” I didn’t reply; I didn’t know what to say. I’m known for my quick comebacks and smart ass comments, but I was in a state of shock. “I’m gonna go to jail! Or maybe not, maybe they’ll just cite and release me,” Gary said to himself as he speculated his

fate. Nobody replied to him. Gary was like talking to himself; he spoke in a low tone, and he seemed to be thinking out loud, “Fuck! All the money I’ve invested in the WalMart stock over the years… GONE! WalMart is gonna confiscate all of that! Man, I should have just cashed in my stocks, and quit this job if I was gonna do this,” Gary said seemingly talking to himself. “I was thinking about that the other night too,” Gary said. “You were thinking about what?” Bruce asked. “I was up at night and wondering if I was gonna be an old man still working at WalMart,” Gary answered. “Is this everything Gary?” Zack asked. “I still have a bunch of stuff in my truck

too; I made several trips to my truck with stolen goods, and I just kept coming back for more,” Gary answered. I’ve seen all kinds of people get busted for shoplifting at WalMart. My cousin, for example, thought he was too smart to be caught, the strong arm robber thought he was too tough to be taken down, and I’ve seen all kinds of people go into a panic in that security office. Nobody knows how they would react in a situation like that unless they’ve been there already. Gary was straight up taking this shit like a man! He confessed, he gave the stuff back, and he never blamed anyone or made any excuses. I know Gary, and he’s not a

dishonest man; I know that sounds weird, but it’s true. To this day, I think he was under a lot of stress, and his shoplifting excursion was a subconscious cry for help. I thought back to earlier that night when he handed me his flashlight and specifically told me to check EVERYBODY coming out of the store. Why would he do that if he was back there stealing? I think he did it because deep down inside he wanted to get caught. He made several trips out to his truck, but I just never thought to search him. Just then the LP office door opened up. The district supervisor stood in the doorway, and he looked at Gary like he was a juicy steak just waiting to get eaten up. Then he looked

at me and gestured me to leave with his thumb. I silently got up and left; upon walking out I turned and looked at Gary, and then the LP office door closed. I walked outside with my hands in my pockets and looking down. I stood there in the front of the store and waited for them to come out. Moments later, a police officer arrived. I walked the officer back there to the LP office, and then I went back outside. They were back there for several minutes, and then they came walking out. The police officer held Gary by the arm, and Gary was in handcuffs. The district supervisor followed by the officer’s side, and the two assistant

managers followed behind the district supervisor. They walked Gary out in front of everybody, intentionally humiliating him. Gary still walked out like a man. Even with handcuffs on, he stood with poised posture, and with his head held high. I admired Gary’s courage and toughness; he never broke down, or cried; he never gave them the satisfaction. Everybody was stunned! I heard comments like, “Holy shit! They busted the undercover security guy!” The cop put Gary in the back seat of his patrol car. The district supervisor told the officer, “I’d like to get into his truck and get our merchandise back.” The officer opened

the door, and asked Gary if he would allow him to get the merchandise back from his truck, and Gary gave them permission. The officer drove his patrol car to the back of the parking lot where Gary’s truck was parked. The officer parked his patrol car parallel to Gary’s truck, got Gary out of the patrol car, and opened the truck door for the district supervisor. Gary had apparently stolen some tools, and the assistant managers recovered the tools from his truck. There was a tool box in the back of Gary’s truck, and the district supervisor said, “Gary, we’re just gonna recover all of the tools you have here, because who’s to say which stuff belongs to us.” Gary stood there, even in handcuffs he

was still standing up to the district supervisor, “No fuck that! I already gave back everything that belongs to you. You leave my shit alone!” Gary said. The police officer closed Gary’s truck door, turned, and faced the district supervisor and said, “I’m sorry, but he’s right. You can’t touch his things.” The district supervisor just stood there nodding his head up and down in acceptance while the police officer put Gary back into the back seat of the patrol car. The district supervisor looked at me with a disgusted look on his face and said, “What a punk!” I did not care to reply or comment; I just thought to myself, “It takes one to know one.”

The district supervisor knew that all of those tools could not possibly have been stolen, but I think he wanted to recover them all because all of those tools would have added to the numerical value of the bust; it probably would have been like thousands of dollars. In other words it would’ve made the district supervisor look even better. “What do you think of all this, Ricky?” The district supervisor asked. “I can’t believe it,” I replied. Now comes the best part, and I couldn’t believe this shit. The assistant managers stood there smoking, talking, and laughing about the whole event. We started talking about how Gary got caught. Check this out…. Gary had been

taking stuff, stuffing it down his pants, and walking out to his truck. He put the merchandise behind the seat to his truck, and kept going back for more. He made a few trips back and forth to his truck, and back to the store to get some more goods. The power was still out, and he was going for a high priced item, a Portable DVD player that cost over $200. He stuffed the DVD player down his pants, and he started walking toward the exit. On his way out, assistant managers’ Bruce and Zack just happened to join him on their way out for a smoke break. Gary felt uneasy about walking out the doors with these two assistant managers, but it was too late. He felt that if he turned back for any reason it

might look suspicious. He figured the power was out, so there would be no EAS alarm system, and he decided to “play it cool,” and boldly walked out with the assistant managers. Here’s the fucking kicker…THE POWER JUST HAPPENED TO TURN BACK ON JUST AS HE WAS WALKING OUT THE FUCKING DOOR!!! NOW IS THAT NOT THE WORSE LUCK IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE? As Gary was walking out the door, the power came back on, and the EAS alarm sounded off! At first, the assistant managers thought it was them (sometimes their electronic keys set off the alarms), they were

checking themselves, but none of them had the electronic keys. Gary just stood there while the assistant managers frantically searched themselves, and slowly came to the realization that it was not them setting off the alarm, it was Gary. Gary said, “Let’s just go to the back office.” The assistant managers walked Gary to the back office, and when they got in there, Gary just took out the DVD player and handed it to them. The assistant managers started processing the apprehension paperwork, and that’s when they called me on the radio wanting to know the district supervisor’s cell phone number. The power had been out for almost the whole night, and he made trip after trip to his

truck. Just when he was walking out with a couple of assistant managers by his side and a high dollar electronic item stuffed down his pants, the power just happened to come back on. And just like that, Gary’s career at WalMart came to an abrupt and painful end.

A Misunderstanding

Gloria was this Hispanic girl who worked as a cashier at WalMart. A single mom raising a couple of kids; she worked very hard to make ends meet. Gloria was somewhat ambitious, and she wanted to move up in the company. Every day she would come out on her breaks and talk to the security guards. This one guard she knew, his name was Ricky, had mentioned to her that there was a position open for in-store loss prevention associate. Ricky encouraged her to apply. Gloria applied for the job thinking that busting shoplifters would be fun and interesting, and it would get her off those awful registers, which was fine by her. She had no security

experience, and she could not figure out why the security guards were not applying for the position (they were, they just didn’t get it). Gloria just applied because she felt she had nothing to lose; she never dreamed she would actually get the job. Gloria was at home feeding her kids’ cereal one morning when her phone rang. The call was from the district loss prevention supervisor, and he wanted Gloria to come in for an interview. Gloria felt excited! She thought she would get the job, and this could be her way of advancing in the company. Gloria dressed in her best and went for the interview. The district loss

prevention supervisor hired her almost immediately. Gloria was very excited that she got the job. She went out and thanked the security guys for their vote of confidence, and for suggesting she apply for the position. Gloria went to work in plain clothes, and she was to start training to be an instore loss prevention associate. She was standing near the time clock, and was just waiting to clock in. She saw Ricky from security approaching, and he was also clocking in. Gloria smiled real big and said hello. Ricky looked at Gloria, noticing the plain clothes and said, “You’re ready to start training, uh?” Gloria laughed and said, “Oh yeah,

I’m ready to bust some shoplifters!” Ricky smiled and clocked in. Gloria also clocked in, and they both walked to the security office. Ricky checked the tapes, got his radio, and took off outside. Gloria was paired up with a veteran ISLP who was in charge of training; Gloria’s new life has just begun. Training to be an ISLP is not as easy as it sounds. Learning to stalk somebody takes a lot of time and effort. There is a trial-and-error period in which the trainee usually does very poorly. The reason being is because surveillance is more of an art than a science. The ISLP can show a new trainee all the little secrets, but the trainee either has the tenacity to stick

with it despite failure or they don’t. Instore loss prevention associates have all kinds of little tricks for following somebody in the store. One thing they like to do is to alter the shelves just a little bit to create a “look hole” from one aisle to another. For example, if you have electronics department and the furniture department right next to each other, you cut out little holes in the shelves so you can observe somebody in a secluded corner of electronics from the next aisle over. This would allow you to see the person from the next aisle, and be totally hidden from their sights. The ISLPs’ have little observations points all over the store. Shoplifters simply don’t

notice, they look over at the associate behind the counter, and they look up at the cameras, but they never think to look for little hidden observation holes in the shelves. The loss prevention trainer took Gloria around and started showing her the ropes. Gloria was a bit overwhelmed at first, but then again everybody is when they first start out. Gloria did a few busts with the loss prevention trainer, and she handled herself well. This was a new world for her, and it all seemed too good to be true. After a few weeks of training, Gloria was given the opportunity to go out by herself. Gloria felt slightly intimidated at the

thought of being out there by herself, but she felt she could handle it. She walked the floor as an in-store loss prevention associate. All of her old cashier friends would see her walking around, but they were forbidden to say anything to her when she was on the floor because it may expose her to potential shoplifters. Some of the girls were a little jealous that she got to do this cool shit, and they’re still stuck on the registers. Gloria was walking around, and she hadn’t been seeing anything suspicious when all of this sudden, she saw this guy taking things off of the shelves, and putting them in his pockets. Gloria damn near jumped for joy; she finally caught one! This was gonna be her first bust by

herself, and she was ready for action. She watched the guy walk through the store, and she followed him just like she was trained to do. She used preorganized observation points, and she followed procedure to the letter. She watched this guy put a lot of stuff in his pockets. Gloria’s suspect walked to the front registers, he took merchandise out of his pockets and paid for them. Gloria was watching him, but she couldn’t figure out if he paid for everything he took, or if he just paid for some of it. She was nervous, and she was unsure if she should make the stop or not. She called security and told them to wait for her at the front exit. The guy was

walking out headed for the front exit giving Gloria no time to think; she had to act fast! Gloria decisively went after him and stopped the guy upon walking out the exit. The suspect in question did not seem agitated at Gloria, nor did he seem scared or nervous; he just sort of laughed and took the stuff out of his pockets and showed her his receipts. Gloria wanted to be sure he didn’t steal, so she actually did a pat down on the guy. The guy didn’t steal anything; Gloria had just made a bad stop! The customer was nice and cooperative; he didn’t complain or argue. Gloria thanked the guy for his cooperation and apologized for the misunderstanding. Upon making this bad stop, Gloria

called the loss prevention trainer and told him what happened. He told her to write a report and leave it out for him. She complied and left work without busting anybody, and that was her last day working at WalMart! The district loss prevention supervisor was notified, he read the report, and he fired Gloria the very next day.

Full Blown AIDs I’ve seen a lot of crazy shit go down at WalMart, and I’ve heard a lot of stories about even more crazy shit. I was fortunate enough not to be involved in the upcoming case. The story that I’m about to tell you is a true story, and it

comes from another store. I won’t say which store it comes from because that is not important. What is important is that this story illustrates the nature of shoplifting apprehensions, and just how dangerous they can be. I must warn you; this story is kind of disturbing. An in-store loss prevention agent was conducting surveillance on a suspected shoplifter. The LP agent was alone, but he had a security guard standing at the front door. He got on his radio and told the security guard to prepare to make a shoplifting apprehension. The shoplifting suspect did not look particularly threatening; he was a young white male who was kind of skinny. The

LP agent was a young man, but was much bigger than the shoplifting suspect, and he figured he could take him down no problem. The shoplifting suspect walked outside the front doors, and the LP agent approached him with the security guard. They identified themselves as the store’s security, and said that he needed to go with them, but the suspect would have none of it. The suspect whipped out a syringe that had blood in it. “I have full blown AID’s, and this is my blood. If you come near me, I’m gonna stick you with this!” The suspect said. The two security guys backed off; they didn’t want any part in this deal. With the security guys backing

off, you would think that this bum would know that he is home free, but for some reason he panic’s and runs back inside the store. The in-store loss prevention agent followed, but kept his distance, he wanted to make sure that the idiot does not stick anybody with that syringe. The LP agent yelled at the suspect, “Just leave, we ain’t gonna stop you, just leave now!” The suspect ran down the aisles in a panic and was almost running into other shoppers, “EVERYBODY STAY BACK! CLEAR A PATH! STAY AWAY FROM HIM; HE HAS A BLOODY SYRINGE!” The LP agent yelled trying to protect the other

customers. Meanwhile, the security guard outside was on the phone with the police, and he told them that he needed assistance immediately. Back inside the store, the suspect began heading back for the front exit, and the LP agent got on his radio and told the security guard to clear a path for him. As the security guard was trying to get the other customers out of harm’s way, another employee who we will call Jerry approached the security guard and asked what was going on. Jerry was a young white male, kind of good looking, and he was a stockman. The security guard told Jerry what the situation was, and Jerry said, “I will stop him.” The security guard looked at Jerry, and he said, “No, don’t

fuck with this guy! He has AIDs and a bloody syringe! Just help me get people out of his way!” Jerry was behaving kind of arrogantly, “No, don’t even trip. When that guy comes out here, I’m gonna take that needle away and kick his ass!” Everybody urged Jerry not to approach the suspect; they pleaded with him to just stay back and let him go. People were yelling all kinds of stuff like, “He has AID’S, IT AIN’T WORTH IT; JUST LET HIM GO!” It was no use. Jerry had already made up his mind to stop this guy, alone if he had to. Finally, the suspect once again exited the front doors, and Jerry headed toward him like he said he would. One of the bystanders

shouted, “DON’T DO IT JERRY; YOU COULD DIE!” The shouting and pleas fell on deaf ears. Jerry ran up to the shoplifting suspect and yelled, “Drop that needle, or I’ll fuck you up!” The shoplifting suspect gave an evil grin, and refused to drop the syringe. Jerry grabbed the suspect and hit him in the face a few times. The suspect stabbed Jerry with that syringe, over, and over, and over again. People were screaming and horrified customers took off running. Jerry kept hitting this little punk, and then he picked his skinny ass up and slammed him to the ground! At that time the security guard ran up and grabbed the hand that the syringe was in, and then the LP agent jumped in and put

the handcuffs on the suspect. There was so much blood everywhere! The suspect was bleeding from his nose and mouth. When they got the suspect to his feet; he smiled at Jerry and said, “Welcome to the real world of full blown AID’S!” The cops arrived moments later, and took the scumbag to jail where he belongs. Jerry was not hurt that bad, a few needle pokes and some blood; it looked worse than it really was. He washed himself and refused medical treatment. The LP agent walked up to him and said, “Why did you do that? The guy really does have AIDs.” Jerry just laughed and said, “Yeah I know; I’ve had it myself for many years.”

The monster vs. the silent professional Nicole attended church one sunny Sunday morning. A devout Christian,

Nicole believed very strongly in the institution of religion. Knelt down and praying, she felt comfort and hope while attending the house of God. Nicole prayed hard; she prayed so hard that she cried. She prayed for her family, and for her friends. She even prayed for the people she busted shoplifting, but most of all, she prayed that God would lift the incredible anger that seemed to be trapped inside her. Nicole normally went to church in the morning, and then she’d go to the gym and work out for a little while. After working out at the gym, she’d usually go to work for six to eight hours. Nicole loved the flexible hour’s aspect of her

job. She could go to work whenever she pleased, and all she had to do was bust a certain amount of shoplifters, which, was really easy for her. Nicole was a very busy young lady, but she managed to find time for a boyfriend; his name was Robert. Robert and Nicole had been seeing each other for about a year. They met at church, and they found that they had a lot in common. Robert was a tall white male, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a strong build; he looked like actor Mat Damon, and he was a decorated police officer with the Bakersfield Police Department. Lately, the relationship had been getting serious, and Robert surprised Nicole one day on a trip to the beach with a very expensive

diamond ring; he asked her if she would marry him, and she said yes. Now officially engaged, they were planning a life together. Nicole has never been happier; it seemed as if her prayers were being answered. Things were looking up at Nicole’s job as well. She found herself receiving awards for the hard work and dedication she demonstrated at WalMart. She was in charge of training most of the new loss prevention associates, and she was busting more shoplifters than anybody else in the city. Nicole recently had been assigned to train this new loss prevention associate named Jessica. Jessica was this young, really attractive

red head who was feisty like Nicole. The two girls got along well, and Jessica was a very fast learner. This dynamic duo was busting shoplifters left and right; they seemed to work really well in a team. The training period lasted a few weeks, and the girls often travelled to different WalMart stores to cross train with other loss prevention associates. Different stores mean different layouts, which means that they had to learn to adapt to new environments. This was a particularly bad time to be a shoplifter. In any given store, there are like three or four ISLP associates, and when that happens they hunt in coordinated teams. Plus, they have Nicole; Nicole is bad fucking news

for a shoplifter. She’s so knowledgeable and skillful at loss prevention that when she caught somebody stealing; there was practically no escape. People have tried; they’d argue, lie, bribe, run, fight, kick, scream, call a lawyer, but it was no use. The thieves unlucky enough to have Nicole hunting them almost always went to jail pure and simple. Wasco State prison is home to some of the most violent criminals that modern society has to offer. Rapists, murderers, gang members, drug dealers, and any other type of criminal one can think of all come together in a diversified pool of society’s most dangerous felons.

Murder and mayhem are a daily reality behind the walls at this brutal correctional institution. Gangs at this facility kill with brutal efficiency, stunning sophistication, and gruesome intentions. One violent criminal in particular was being paroled one sunny day. We will call this violent criminal “Joe.” Joe was a Hispanic male, about 6’1, and about 190 Lbs. He was ridiculously strong and was built like a professional quality body builder. Joe had a shaved head, and gang tattoos all over his arms, chest, back, neck, and some on his face. The tear drop tattoos on his face indicate that he has probably killed before. Joe was scary to look at; he was the kind of guy one prays they

don’t encounter in a dark alley. A career criminal, Joe has committed a long list of crimes including vandalism, assaults, rape, drive-byes, burglary, robbery; he’s hurt a lot of people. Joe is not just a criminal; he’s fucking crazy with a spike of evil in his personality. Even the other gang members describe him as a fucking monster. On this sunny day with clear blue skies; Joe was being released back into society. Joe is pretty fucking far from being rehabilitated; prison has only made him stronger, crazier, and more violent. The only reason he’s being released is because of budget cuts. He walked with a purpose coming out of the prison. His

eyes are cold and intimidating. He is filled with evil and seething hatred; he can’t wait to get back to work. Joe would injure or kill anybody; other violent criminals stay out of his way, and even his own mother is terrified of him. Most criminals live unfortunate lives of desperation and limited education or opportunities. Getting a good job with a criminal background can be extremely difficult. Many criminals go back to crime not out of desire, but out of necessity as it is usually the only thing they know. This is not the case with Joe, he is an extremely violent and angry individual, and he loves the criminal

lifestyle. He has some connections in Bakersfield, and they plan to start producing drugs like cocaine, heroin, and meth. The plan is simple. Joe would provide the materials needed to cook the drugs, and one of his partners would make it, and the other would sell it. This can be a big money maker in the criminal world. And where does Joe plan on getting the supplies such as baby formula etc.? He plans on stealing it from various WalMart stores, of course. Apparently, products like baby formula are used to make illegal narcotics. So if a drug dealer wants to make a lot of drugs, he or she will be needing lots of baby formula. The trouble is you can’t

just go down to any given store and buy stock piles of that shit because they’d refuse to sell it to you, and they’d report you to the authorities. Customers can only buy a certain amount of such products. Some drug dealers’ use assorted buyers hitting all the stores in the city trying to get as much of the needed products as possible, but there is still risk in doing that as law enforcement is watching for that kind of activity. Joe doesn’t have a network of people who can go out and buy the products he needs from various locations. He’d never be able to finance that kind of campaign even if he did. Joe really does

not care to buy the products either because the way he thinks is, why buy it when you can just steal it. Joe’s plan is simple; he would just steal the products at various locations. Getting those products for free, and by himself adds to the gross profits as there is no real production expenses, and he doesn’t have to pay anybody else. Joe figured it would be easy to steal from various stores, especially stores like WalMart. Aside from being a violent criminal, Joe was using too much of his own products, which made him even more dangerous and unpredictable. Joe would hit stores such as Walgreens, Target, WalMart, Longs Drugs, or any

store that sold the products that he needed. He would drive around to these stores, and if they had the products he was looking for, he’d steal it. There was little finesse in Joe’s game; he walked in, got what he needed, concealed it, and walked out. Joe estimated that his risk assessment for this type of crime was small considering the most he’d have to worry about is some dumb ass security guard; his contingency was simply to hurt anybody who tries to stop him. His plan was working as he was able to provide a significant amount of product, and he was starting to make some money. One day Joe was driving down the

freeway. He got off on White lane and was headed for WalMart. He had been in this store in the past, but he really hadn’t been there since before his incarceration. He pulled into the parking lot and right away he noticed the cameras on the top of the building. Joe must have correctly assumed that the cameras could not focus on things far away because he parked all the way in the back. He walked in wearing a backpack, hooded sweat shirt, and shades to disguise his appearance. Meanwhile, Nicole and Jessica were walking side by side on one of the main aisles talking and laughing. Nicole saw Joe walk in, and he caught her eye immediately. “Oh wow, yea, this guy is

planning to steal for sure,” Nicole said. “Which one?” Jessica asked. “Black hoodie and shades,” Nicole answered. Jessica looked at him, “Got it,” she said. Nicole put an ear mic in her ear as did Jessica. The ear mic or microphone was attached to their two-way radios and allowed for easy, hands free communication. The two girls split up, and both of them were surveilling Joe. Joe walked around looking all crazy as usual. The drugs he was on were making him even more paranoid than he already was. He kept looking around to see if anybody was watching him. Nicole was following him close behind, and she did not like the look of this guy.

Joe went to the pharmacy department and saw this baby formula display in one of the main aisles. Some stores lock that shit up, but at WalMart it was just there for the taking. Nicole watched as Joe started filling his backpack; she was right behind him. Joe suddenly got the feeling that somebody was watching him; he turned around and…nobody was there. Suddenly, a customer came walking by casually, but he must have looked like a threat to Joe because he made eye contact with the customer. The customer looked away in obvious intimidation. Nicole used the temporary distraction to radio the guards outside, “All guards stand by; I have a Hispanic male in a black hoodie, and he’s crazy

looking,” Nicole said with low volume. There were three security guards on duty, and a male in-store loss prevention associate. Nicole notified all of them of the situation. Joe walked down the main aisle looking around all suspiciously. Jessica followed closely behind, and Nicole was concerned for her safety, “Give him some distance,” she whispered into the mic. Joe must have thought he heard something because just then, he turned around and looked in the clothing department (right where Nicole was). Nicole backed up behind a rack of clothes with great subtleness. Joe’s head did a rapid swivel looking around, and then he turned his attention back to

the clothing department. He walked up to the clothes rack very slowly. He approached the clothes rack as if looking for somebody, but when he peeked around it…nobody was there. He probably blamed it on meth induced paranoia as he walked out of there with his hands in his hoodie pockets. Nicole called all guards and ISLP to the front of the store as Joe quickly walked to the front exit. Nicole followed Joe close behind, and Jessica followed close behind her. Joe walked out the front exit, and he found himself surrounded by security personnel. Three security guards, one security guy in plain clothes, and two female security personnel in

plain clothes. Nicole did the talking, “Stop! Get your hands out of your pockets; we are WalMart security, and you need to come with us!” Of course, Joe disagreed with her. Joe’s been outnumbered by rival gang members in his past; you think he’s scared of a few security guards? Joe stared into Nicole’s eyes with this mean and crazy look as he quickly whipped out this big fucking knife that had a brass knuckles handle. Nicole immediately stepped in front of Jessica as she instructed the other security guys to “back off.” Everybody stopped dead in their tracks as Joe stood there looking around like the nut that he is. Joe turned his attention back on Nicole and Jessica, and stepped toward

them like he was gonna do something. Nicole backed up inside the store as she pushed Jessica in before her. “You’re damn lucky you got all these people around you fucking bitch!” Joe said as he turned to leave. Joe ran through the parking lot headed for his vehicle. One of the guards started to follow him, but Nicole got on the radio and said, “Let him go; it’s not worth it.” Nicole was really quiet after that incident. She was so angry she was speechless. The three in-store LP’s went to the LP office. Jessica was on the phone with the police reporting what had just occurred. Nicole, Jessica, and the other plain clothes loss prevention guy was in

there. The guy started pulling the tapes, looking for the suspect they had just confronted. Jessica got off the phone with the cops, “All we have is a vague description,” she said with frustration. Nicole suddenly burst into a rage, and she punched a hole in the wall! The two other LP associates were startled by Nicole’s fury. They both stood there in silence with fearful eyes, “Are you okay?” Jessica asked. “Yep, I’m good. Oh, I’m gonna get that sorry ass motherfucker; you just wait and see,” Nicole replied as blood dripped from her fist. Jessica did not care to comment; neither did the other LP associate. They both just walked out the office to give Nicole some “time out.” Nicole just stood there

focused on the monitor that displayed the incident on pause. She saw the suspect standing there, and she was never more determined to take somebody down. Two Bakersfield Police officers showed up minutes later, and they spoke to Nicole. Nicole was preparing a report, and she made copies of the surveillance footage. The conversation went something like this… Police officer: What did the suspect get? Nicole: Baby formula. Police officer: Oh great, another fucking dope-head! Nicole: Yep. Police officer: Are you alright?

Nicole: Yes. Police officer: Was anybody else hurt? Nicole: No. Police officer: It’s gonna be hard identifying this guy with the hood and glasses. Nicole: I’ll know him when I see him again. Police officer: What do you mean? Nicole: I’m gonna get that guy; you can bet money on that. Police officer: You think he’s coming back? Nicole: I don’t think he’s coming back; I know he is. It may not be this store, and it may not be tomorrow, but he has a powerful addiction, and he will be back.

Police officer: (taking one of the tapes has evidence) we’re gonna forward this to a detective, and he’ll be in touch. You did the right thing by calling off the apprehension. Call us if he comes back. We’re all glad you’re okay, Nicole. Nicole had prepared a report of the Bakersfield Police Department, and she made a copy of the report and forwarded that to the Kern County Sheriff’s Department. Unfortunately, the two law enforcement agencies just did not have much to go on. Nicole wasn’t finished; she created a flyer with the computer that had the suspect’s description, and the best close up image of his face on it. She went to nearby stores like

Walgreens, Target, and any other stores that sold the products to share with their security and management the suspect’s information. She was creating a network of law enforcement agencies and security personnel at all the stores in town to be on the look-out for this one specific individual. This was something she’s never done before. Bakersfield Police officers were really on this crook’s case as well. They also went to nearby stores and spoke with managers and security. I imagine a detective probably talked to confidential informants on the streets in an attempt to find out who this guy was, but they turned up nothing. The heat was

definitely on, and if Joe only had a brain he likely would have knocked off his non-sense, but he pushed further. The next day he went into a Walgreens to steal some more products. He immediately noticed a flyer with his image on it near the front door. He looked at the flyer behind the glass case on a bulletin board, and then he just turned and walked out. I’ll bet Joe drove around to other stores, but felt the pain of his paranoia. He probably looked at a security guard, and the security guard innocently looked back, and then Joe took off thinking, “He’s on to me!” This paranoia likely continued at home as well. Every time the phone rang, every time there was a knock at the

door, or anytime he heard sirens, Joe would have over reacted. Meanwhile, Nicole and Jessica were in the LP office at the White lane store talking about the next step in their training program. Their conversation went something like this…. Nicole: We will be conducting training at the East Hills store for the next few weeks. Jessica: why are we going to the East Hills store? Nicole: I think that guy I’m after will be visiting the East Hills store pretty soon. Jessica: Why would he do that? He’s gotta know that we’re onto him? Nicole: Guys like that are not exactly known for their intelligence and

forethought. Jessica: Why would he choose the East Hills store? Nicole: Because it’s a ghetto part of town, and this guy has a ghetto mentality. We’re gonna start our training from afternoon, to late at night. Jessica: why the afternoon? Nicole: Guys like him normally sleep till noon or afternoon. He’ll be coming into the store around 3:00pm. Jessica: How could you possibly know that? Nicole: I know guys like that; I’ve seen his kind many times. He’ll stay up very late drinking and getting high, and then he’ll get up around 2:00pm, and go to do his thing.

Jessica: Wow, Okay. Joe was in the habit of “borrowing” his “girlfriend’s” car, or in his sick mind he, “jacked” the car from his “bitch.” I cannot for the life of me figure out why any woman in her right mind would want a low-life loser like Joe, but some women do. Her life with him must have been very hard. I’m sure he was a paranoid, twitchy fucker, who would jump up and look out the window every time a car drove by. I imagine a knock at the door would send him jumping seven feet in the air. And what happens if he wants something? Well, he’d just take it of course. He’d take his girlfriend’s car, he’d take money out of

her purse, he’d take sex whenever and however, but the one thing he wouldn’t take is any lip. I’ll bet he’d slap the shit out of her for “getting out of line,” or “disrespecting him.” Nicole’s assessment of Joe was dead to rights. He would be up partying to the wee hours of the night, sleep most of the fucking day, and then he’d be out “working” around the afternoon. And so Joe woke up one fine afternoon, got up, got dressed (he doesn’t shower much), and he borrowed his girlfriend’s car. He was smoking meth in the car (breakfast of champions) as he drove around trying to decide on a store to go to. I’m sure the thought of driving to a

store out of town crossed his mind, but that lazy fucker hasn’t the energy, patience, or even the gas money for that. So he starts driving around on the east side of town looking for stores. At some point he seen WalMart and probably thought, “I got away with it once; I can do it again.” Joe followed his protocol of parking all the way in the back to keep the vehicle out of view of the cameras. He walked toward the front exit wearing the same black hoodie and shades that he wore in the White Lane store; the time was 3:27 PM. Meanwhile, Nicole and Jessica were inside the LP office checking out the parking lot through the security cameras.

“There he is!” Nicole said with an excited voice. “Who? The guy?” Jessica asked. “Yep,” Nicole answered. Jessica looked at the monitor, and she wasn’t quite sure. But as he got closer, and they zoomed in on him, she recognized him immediately. “Oh my god; it is him!” Jessica said with shock and disbelief. Nicole was right; she even predicted with remarkable accuracy what time of day he would be coming! Nicole and Jessica had been planning this. The two women were actually staked out in the LP office scanning people as they approached the front doors looking for him specifically. The planning and patience has paid off because they have the idiot in their

sights. Nicole left the LP office to follow him on the floor while Jessica watched him on the surveillance cameras. Nicole was walking around on the sales floor talking into her hands free ear piece connected to her cell phone. She also called some of her buddies in the Bakersfield Police Department. Joe was stuffing his backpack with the baby formula again. He looked around for anybody watching him. Other shoppers just walked by and didn’t seem to notice him (or maybe they pretended not to notice). Nicole was very close by, and she was watching him. Her adrenaline was running; he’s seen her face before, and if he spots her watching

him, there is no telling what he’ll do. But stalking people without being seen is a skill that Nicole has been perfecting for years! As I’ve said earlier, she’s like a fucking ghost, and she can sneak up on anybody! Officers from BPD drove with their sirens on to respond to the store; they too wanted to get that guy. Joe kept stuffing more and more shit where-ever he could get it to fit. Maybe he needed more products since he’s been struggling to obtain it, or maybe he got greedy. There is the chance that he was over confident in his ability to intimidate others. Even if he had gotten out of there within a couple of minutes, it wouldn’t matter because the cops were already pulling into the parking lot. Joe

turned to leave, and he was walking towards Nicole. Nicole was standing in the cosmetics department, and she simply turned, and put her nose into a magazine. He walked right by her and noticed nothing. After he passed her, Nicole put the magazine down, and followed Joe towards the exit. She was still speaking to the cops on her cell phone, “He’s headed for the front exit,” she said. Two Bakersfield police officers were standing right outside the door with the security guards. They already had his full description, and they were gonna take him down on sight! One officer had his tazor while another had his firearm (just in case the tazor

doesn’t work). Joe was now in the main aisle near the front registers. He was either paranoid, or he felt like somebody was watching him because he turned around real fast, and…… Nicole was gone. He scanned the clothing department…nothing. He continued heading for the front exit. Nicole was standing in line between these two registers, and she saw him right about to walk out the front door, “He’s coming out right now,” she said into the mic of her hands free receiver. Nicole ran up just as Joe was walking out, and she stopped customers at the door behind him to prevent them from being near Joe when confronted by the officers. Joe walked outside suspecting nothing, and a

loud voice shouted, “GET ON THE GROUND!” Joe’s eyes were wide with surprise and fear. He saw the tazor, and he saw the gun! Joe very quickly got on the ground like the officer said. Joe was being arrested as Nicole stepped out of the store and looked down at him. She stared him down with a smile on her face; he couldn’t even look at her. The officer stood Joe up, and Nicole started laughing. Everybody looked down, and they all started laughing too. Joe had pissed in his pants! The cops found all the merchandise on him, plus a big knife with a brass knuckle handle. There was drug paraphernalia in his girlfriend’s car. Joe was sitting in the back seat of a

patrol car waiting to go back to jail where he belongs. He was being charged with the theft, plus drug charges, plus the theft and robbery he committed at the White Lane store. Joe was going away for a very long time. A short time later, Nicole and Robert were face to face on the stretch of beach where he had proposed to her. It was their wedding day, and they decided to get married on the beach. Nicole wore this very elegant wedding dress, and her face glowed with happiness. Her groom was tall and handsome, and he was just has happy. The cute couple exchanged wedding vows, and then kissed long and hard. They were looking forward to an

extravagant honeymoon vacation, and then after that, they were looking forward to the rest of their lives together. I’m not a religious man, and I have even questioned God’s existence, but I think that if he does exist, he found a way to give Nicole blissfulness, and most importantly, to lift that anger that she had inside of her. In the end, Nicole found peace and happiness.

On My Way I always knew that my job at WalMart

would come to an end. I didn’t know how, and I didn’t know what it would be for, but I knew that I did not want to devote my whole life to this damn store. I was working at WalMart in Bakersfield during a time when WalMart was in the process of building two supercenters. The supercenters were very unpopular because they were known to put smaller “mom and pop” stores out of business. I’ll tell you right now, WalMart don’t care who they fuck over in process of making the big dollar, and dollars is all that matters to these people. I also worked at WalMart during a time when WalMart had their in-house

security guards; we were called PLP’s (parking lot patrol). We wore these ridiculous uniforms that looked more like what a mechanic would wear. Nowadays, WalMart uses third party security companies to do their dirty work (for liability reasons). I knew when I was on my way out too; I could feel it. The managers didn’t like me very much, and I got into trouble all the time. Some of the other people in security did not like me too much either. I worked for a company where most of the people were just out to make themselves look good, and all I wanted was to clock in, clock off, and be left alone in between. I did not care that I

was on my way out; in fact, I was actually kind of relieved. There was a rumor going around that WalMart was gonna get rid of all of their guards, bring in third party guards, and all of the exguards can go to work on the sales floor as cashiers, janitors, receivers, stockers, or whatever. I did not care to do that. I can’t stand to be around other people for too long. I like working alone and not having to bother with other people too much, even though I knew it was not very realistic. One night, I was watching “The last Samurai,” starring Tom Cruise (one of my favorite movies), and in the movie Captain Algren (played by Cruise) said something that made a lot of sense to me. Captain Algren was

talking to the leader of the Samurai warriors, and they were going over battle plans. The samurai leader asked Captain Algren, “Do you believe a man can change his destiny?” Captain Algren thinks about if for a second, and he replies, “I think a man does what he can, until his destiny is revealed.” Finally, the day came when I was fired. It was kind of sudden, but it came as no surprise to me. I was nice about it; I knew it wasn’t personal, and I got my last check and turned in my uniforms. I left WalMart and went to the movies and had a great time. What did I get fired for? All kinds of reasons, I was late all the time, I talked a lot of crap, and I

constantly fought with the other employees (some of those fights really got out of hand). I was a little worried about my finances, but I had this “all business” mentality about getting fired. I did not take it personally at all. WalMart also had this “all business” attitude about giving me the pink slip. I ended up getting this job that allowed me to work on my people skills. I found myself working for this lousy company that handled student loans. I had a wear a shirt and tie, and I worked in a cubical. My job was to take phone calls from borrowers who were late on making their student loan payments. It was collections work, and I hated it. I know what it is like to be in debt and

having some asshole call you on the phone, so I was very nice to these people. I helped them with forbearances and deferments whenever I could. I found it nice to be working indoors for once, and go to work and not have to fight somebody. I took a nice little break from the security field, and I learned some other job skills. Of course, I can’t deal with talking to people all day, so I ended up quitting that job looking for more work. I put in applications all over town as I was trying to find a job to pay the bills, and make me happy. So I put in an application at WalMart, and to my surprise they called me in for an interview. When I interviewed, I

knew right away that I got the job, but didn’t like the title. My job was to be working on the sales floor in the furniture department. I wore a bluecollar shirt with beige pants. I didn’t mind it except I had to deal with people, and I hated that. I was a WalMart associate again. I made just as much money as I did when I left (a whopping nine dollars an hour). Most of the people I worked with had no idea that I used to be WalMart security, or that I was one of the most notorious guards in town; I thought everybody had heard of me. I didn’t tell anybody either; I just went to work with my quiet demeanor, hoping for silence and solitude.

One day, I went to work at WalMart, and I had no idea that it would be my last day there. I managed to stay out of trouble all right, but remember; I had put applications all over town. I got a call from this guy who was the head of security at a local casino; he offered me a security job, and it paid much better than WalMart. “Okay, I’ll take it; I’ll be right down,” I said with a smile on my face. This manager was walking, and I said, “Hey you!” He stopped and looked at me like I had lost my damn mind talking to him like that. I tossed him my name badge and said, “The floor is all yours.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked a little pissed off. “It

means I quit; I’m outta here,” I said. The manager looked at me like he was really pissed off, and he said, “Oh, that’s just great!” I had this “all business” mentality about quitting my job at WalMart on short notice because it was “all business.” I just got a job offer with better pay, benefits, free food, and all the free soda’s that I can drink! Of course I’m gonna quit on short notice. WalMart does not have an “all business” attitude when you quit on them without notice; they seem to take it very personally. I started walking out, and that manager was following me and talking some shit. I didn’t care to listen to his dumb ass; I

just kept walking out without a care or a worry in the world. “If you leave, you’ll never work for WalMart again,” the manager said with a threatening tone. I laughed, turned to him, and I said, “Fuck WalMart!”

Closing Remarks My primary reason for writing this book is to share my experience working as a security guard. In my experience, I have seen some WalMart employees violate the rights of people who shoplifted. In some cases, WalMart employees grossly violated a shoplifter’s rights. For example, like when they strip searched that girl, and she had her kid with her.

The girl who got strip searched clearly did not know her rights; most people who get busted shoplifting rarely do. Even if they did know their rights; most of them couldn’t afford a lawyer anyways. Some people think that a shoplifter deserves what they get because they stole. Granted, they stole and should be punished, but they still have rights. I also wanted to warn people about the dangers of shoplifting, and the serious consequences it may lead to. I’ve said it many times in this book, “Don’t do it, it ain’t worth it, and know your rights!” You should know what the applicable laws are in your state, city, county, or

whatever. That way if you do have a problem in a store, you know what exactly they can do, and what they cannot do. Don’t be afraid to get a lawyer and sue those bastards if they violate your rights. This book also covers a lot of inside knowledge of how security operations work inside a store like WalMart. I know that a lot of people are gonna read this book with the intention of finding out how to steal from a store and get away with it. For those of you who are reading this book for those purposes, let me tell you, I have not disclosed everything, and what I have disclosed, you could find online prior to me writing this book

anyways. I’ll tell you another thing; you’ll get caught eventually, so do yourself a favor, and don’t do it. WalMart makes money off shoplifters. If WalMart loses merchandise, it’s considered “shrinkage” and it’s a business loss. Now, I’m not a tax expert or anything, but I think a business loss like shrinkage is tax deductible. However, when they do bust the shoplifter and recover the merchandise, they charge the shoplifter not only for the cost of the merchandise, but they charge for the employee’s hourly wages for the duration of the apprehension. They then turn around and sell that recovered merchandise and profit twice for the

same product. So as you can see, WalMart makes a fortune off of shoplifters. So to my readers, I’d like say thank you for reading my book. And on behalf of WalMart, to all the poor and unfortunate shoplifters who had their lives ruined by the greedy giant retailer that made bank off their mistakes; I’d like to say, “Thank you for shoplifting at WalMart.”