Test Yourself - On Mentoring_1
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What can you possibly tell me about MENTORING that I don't already know? One in a series of quizzes designed by the people who helped create contemporary mentoring -Men tor ing Solu ti ons Inc .
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
2
Many people believe some or all of the many myths about mentoring – whether the relationship is formal as part of a planned program or informal (it-just-happens outside of a program). Being uninformed can be dangerous for the good health and vitality of the mentoring relationship. Bet you're saying to yourself: "I'm not one of those people. I know all about planned and informal mentoring." Just the same, challenge yourself; take our short quiz. It only takes a few minutes. Many people comment that they never knew they accepted common myths and misconceptions about the oldest learning relationship known to humanity. You may be surprised at how much you'll learn too.
Directions: Following are 10 pairs of opposing statements about planned mentoring. For each pair of statements (A or B), select the one that best / most closely describes your belief or what you know about how mentoring (1) actually works (2) in the real world (3) for best results. To find out how your insights and answers match those of our long-time experts, a key is provided at the end.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
3
Questions 1 - 5 1A B
2A B
3A B
4A B
5A B
Successful mentoring really only starts spontaneously, naturally. Successful mentoring can work with careful planning.
Mentoring partners should agree on expectations at the start and then fulfill them. Mentoring partners need to discuss expectations as they become important.
It is best for mentor-protégé partners to find or discover each other. Many potential partnerships won’t happen unless the match is made intentionally.
Mentoring partners should not be obligated to meet. When a person volunteers for a partnership, s/he has an obligation to meet.
Careful matching for long term matches helps partners develop compatible, helping relationships. Matching learning partners is like arranging a marriage – it can’t be done.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
4
Questions 6 - 10
6A
The relationship starts better when protégé goals match mentor expertise.
B
Protégé goals don't need to be clearly specified before mentoring begins.
7A
Meeting spontaneously is the best way to achieve desired protégé goals.
B
8A B
9A B
10 A B
Scheduling each step of an Action Plan best achieves desired protégé goals.
Liking your partner is more important than what you work on together. Agreeing to work together with follow-through, is more important than liking each other.
No training is needed to be a mentor or protégé – people know what to do. Training is needed because it teaches partners what to do for best results.
It's okay to skip a partnership training/orientation session if you feel you don't need it. You owe it to your partner to show up for training / orientation and participate wholeheartedly.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
5
Some a nsw ers Wh at's mo st lik el y to f or ge th e stro ng est , m os t e ffect ive re la tio nsh ip s?
1.
B.
Here's why: Thousands of relationships have been arranged and often are as effective or better than those that started spontaneously. We have more than 30 years of proof in virtually all countries, all cultures, and all fields to show that mentoring can be nurtured and supported through formal programs. While there still a few who maintain that mentoring is only real if it happened "the way it did in the Odyssey thousands of years ago", the fact is that even the match between Mentor and his protégé (Telemachus) was a formal one! It didn't just happen.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
2.
6
A.
Here's why: This intentional approach works a thousand times better than a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants one. Experience clearly shows that when partners don't sit down and talk over expectations at the outset, each one is operating by a different set of assumptions, concerns, goals, and expectations. In a program that will get good results, the Coordinator makes certain time is set aside at the first meeting for partners to go over a list of common topics and come to agreements. If you and your partner wait for issues to pop up before you talk about them, you've fallen into one of the traps that can kill an otherwise great arrangement. Badly planned and executed programs are often marked by their missing out this crucial, early step.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
3.
7
B
Here's why: Don't let stereotypes get the best of you. All too often, protégés mistakenly think they need to be matched with the highest-ranking person in the organization to get results. This happens all the time. And it's understandable. On the flip side, the highest ranking person is budgeting his or her time and may – quite logically – want to work only with the person who will get the most out of the match. This potential protégé could be someone with much experience who will be running the company in a year or two. It could be an executive with a gap in his or her experience that the top executive can fill. Good matches of all types are possible. Some of the most unlikely people have been matched for different reasons and the outcomes have been great. Some of the best mentors are hard working, low profile people who can tell you about "how things are done around here" in a way that the top brass will not. Keep in mind that being too casual about the potential of working with another person and simply hoping it will happen through discovery means that good matches get overlooked, are ignored, or are not obvious because you've got blinders on.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
4.
8
B
Here's why: Note the words “volunteers” and "obligated" [When a person volunteers for a partnership, s/he is morally obligated to meet.]
In a program designed by good mentoring principles, no one has been forced to work together. An honest volunteer makes a pact that is to be kept. When you volunteer to be in a partnership then don't keep your word, you can bruise the ego of your partner in a not-nice way. Your partner wonders: "What did I do?" and "Why did s/he volunteer if there was no intention to carry through?" Another thing to remember – your reputation is on the line if you don't "show up" (for phone calls, e-mails, text messages or meetings) without a timely explanation. Your partner could have the power to spread the word around as to your reliability, amongst other things. See also item 10.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
5.
9
A
Here's why: Keep in mind the purpose of formalized mentoring matches -- typically to do two or more of: - develop skills, - deepen insights - cultivate wisdom - coach (when and if need be) and - transfer knowledge. It is misleading to compare a mentoring match with an arranged marriage. Thousands of successful longer- (and shorter-) term mentoring matches have been purposefully made on the basis of style, compatibility, needs and expertise or all of these factors. Those who say otherwise typically have never run a mentoring program, or have never participated in such a program and so do not speak from real world experience.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
6.
10
A -- for several reasons that might sound harsh but that are based on reality.
Here's why: Many protégés will feel unimportant and angry if they sense the help they request (Needs) cannot be given as promised (Expertise). Those who organize and run the mentoring program could ask themselves these questions: why would any learner (given our busy world) want to work their way through a list of Needs twice when it isn't necessary? Why hold out a promise—the program will help you -- that won't be kept? Add to this the fact that if a protégé is not asked to be (1) focused and (2) specific about their immediate needs before the match is made, time is wasted later. All too often it is assumed adult protégés don’t know what needs they have or can’t articulate them. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
7.
11
B.
Here's why: This was a bit of a trick question due to the "Action Plan" [Scheduling each step of an Action Plan best achieves desired protégé goals]
Mentoring Action Plans improve the relationship and outcomes 1000%. Having one or more goals and striving to meet them is fundamental. Otherwise why meet? Even more basic is that the partners state what their goals are, write them down, agree on them and attach some dates to each step along the way to "the finish line". Partnerships based on Action Planning means the relationship has value and is important. Meeting merely at a whim makes the partnership little more than a casual lunch with no goal in mind. Such an approach conveys the negative message that it is not important. As the saying goes: “If you don’t plan where you’re going, you won’t know if you’ve arrived.”
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
8.
12
B.
Here's why: There's lots of research to back this up even if you think it should be the other way around. Liking can be a very subjective, short-term and superficial basis for decision-making. There's also research that tells us we are prone to make split-second judgments of others even if those judgments prove to be wrong! Recall that this is a learning arrangement. It takes time to get to know your partner. More than one meeting in most cases. Suspend judgment for the moment. Work with that other person. Give each other time to earn mutual trust and respect. This approach will carry your relationship farther – especially if you are working together to develop competencies and specific skills.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
9.
13
B.
Here's why: Science shows we aren’t born knowing how to be parents, or spouses, or good citizens or mentoring partners. We have inborn capabilities that need to be shaped and cultivated towards these ends, including being in a mentoring relationship. That's why we take lessons to drive cars, cook, play sports, do our hobbies. Without the lessons, quite possibly we will have a vehicle accident, burn the stew, throw the baseball short of the mark (and lose the game) … or short-circuit the mentoring relationship. Second, most people don't realize that some aspects of mentoring are counter-intuitive! If you don't know this in advance – well, you can guess what this does to an otherwise great learning situation. And it's hard to undo any damage. Third, long ago, by observing long-term mentoring that went on in society, you and I would know how these arrangements operated. We might be matched to work together, for instance in an apprenticeship. One of us would be a proven expert and one of us would be the learner. We would clearly know right from the start how the relationship would work and what the ground-rules were because there were instructions and lessons given on this. No guessing. To add to this, we would spend years growing the relationship so learning would take place and goals reached. Granted the world has changed via technology but that doesn't guarantee learning is necessarily better or always faster. But then that's another story for another day.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
10
14
B.
Here's why: If an agreement to work and learn together has been made between two willing people, then to skip out on a partner is rude and conveys a strong negative message about commitment. Some mentors will claim that they've "done the training / course" already so don't need to repeat the session. If you think about it, this type of person is focusing on the course content instead of on the new partner. Obviously each partnership is different. To miss out on the golden opportunity to find out about your new partner is to miss the most valuable early hours of the relationship. It's typically this first session when partners say to one another: "I never thought of __ that way. I'm glad we had this chance to talk." Or "If I hadn't talked to you about __, I would have assumed something very different about what we're to work on in the next couple of months."
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
15
Some parting thoughts How did your answers compare with the experts? Were you surprised by some of the answers? Did you find yourself agreeing with many of answers but not with others? Our goal was to make you re-think the subject and open new avenues to how and why people best fit into a formal, mentoring relationship. We've enjoyed the opportunity to present this quiz. Please look for our other quizzes (Mentoring Quiz #2, Coaching Quiz, and Knowledge Transfer) as they come out. All the best from the Team at Mentoring Solutions. For even more mentoring insights call us at:
250-652-0326 or 250-652-9247
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
2
Many people believe some or all of the many myths about mentoring – whether the relationship is formal as part of a planned program or informal (it-just-happens outside of a program). Being uninformed can be dangerous for the good health and vitality of the mentoring relationship. Bet you're saying to yourself: "I'm not one of those people. I know all about planned and informal mentoring." Just the same, challenge yourself; take our short quiz. It only takes a few minutes. Many people comment that they never knew they accepted common myths and misconceptions about the oldest learning relationship known to humanity. You may be surprised at how much you'll learn too.
Directions: Following are 10 pairs of opposing statements about planned mentoring. For each pair of statements (A or B), select the one that best / most closely describes your belief or what you know about how mentoring (1) actually works (2) in the real world (3) for best results. To find out how your insights and answers match those of our long-time experts, a key is provided at the end.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
3
Questions 1 - 5 1A B
2A B
3A B
4A B
5A B
Successful mentoring really only starts spontaneously, naturally. Successful mentoring can work with careful planning.
Mentoring partners should agree on expectations at the start and then fulfill them. Mentoring partners need to discuss expectations as they become important.
It is best for mentor-protégé partners to find or discover each other. Many potential partnerships won’t happen unless the match is made intentionally.
Mentoring partners should not be obligated to meet. When a person volunteers for a partnership, s/he has an obligation to meet.
Careful matching for long term matches helps partners develop compatible, helping relationships. Matching learning partners is like arranging a marriage – it can’t be done.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
4
Questions 6 - 10
6A
The relationship starts better when protégé goals match mentor expertise.
B
Protégé goals don't need to be clearly specified before mentoring begins.
7A
Meeting spontaneously is the best way to achieve desired protégé goals.
B
8A B
9A B
10 A B
Scheduling each step of an Action Plan best achieves desired protégé goals.
Liking your partner is more important than what you work on together. Agreeing to work together with follow-through, is more important than liking each other.
No training is needed to be a mentor or protégé – people know what to do. Training is needed because it teaches partners what to do for best results.
It's okay to skip a partnership training/orientation session if you feel you don't need it. You owe it to your partner to show up for training / orientation and participate wholeheartedly.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
5
Some a nsw ers Wh at's mo st lik el y to f or ge th e stro ng est , m os t e ffect ive re la tio nsh ip s?
1.
B.
Here's why: Thousands of relationships have been arranged and often are as effective or better than those that started spontaneously. We have more than 30 years of proof in virtually all countries, all cultures, and all fields to show that mentoring can be nurtured and supported through formal programs. While there still a few who maintain that mentoring is only real if it happened "the way it did in the Odyssey thousands of years ago", the fact is that even the match between Mentor and his protégé (Telemachus) was a formal one! It didn't just happen.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
2.
6
A.
Here's why: This intentional approach works a thousand times better than a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants one. Experience clearly shows that when partners don't sit down and talk over expectations at the outset, each one is operating by a different set of assumptions, concerns, goals, and expectations. In a program that will get good results, the Coordinator makes certain time is set aside at the first meeting for partners to go over a list of common topics and come to agreements. If you and your partner wait for issues to pop up before you talk about them, you've fallen into one of the traps that can kill an otherwise great arrangement. Badly planned and executed programs are often marked by their missing out this crucial, early step.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
3.
7
B
Here's why: Don't let stereotypes get the best of you. All too often, protégés mistakenly think they need to be matched with the highest-ranking person in the organization to get results. This happens all the time. And it's understandable. On the flip side, the highest ranking person is budgeting his or her time and may – quite logically – want to work only with the person who will get the most out of the match. This potential protégé could be someone with much experience who will be running the company in a year or two. It could be an executive with a gap in his or her experience that the top executive can fill. Good matches of all types are possible. Some of the most unlikely people have been matched for different reasons and the outcomes have been great. Some of the best mentors are hard working, low profile people who can tell you about "how things are done around here" in a way that the top brass will not. Keep in mind that being too casual about the potential of working with another person and simply hoping it will happen through discovery means that good matches get overlooked, are ignored, or are not obvious because you've got blinders on.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
4.
8
B
Here's why: Note the words “volunteers” and "obligated" [When a person volunteers for a partnership, s/he is morally obligated to meet.]
In a program designed by good mentoring principles, no one has been forced to work together. An honest volunteer makes a pact that is to be kept. When you volunteer to be in a partnership then don't keep your word, you can bruise the ego of your partner in a not-nice way. Your partner wonders: "What did I do?" and "Why did s/he volunteer if there was no intention to carry through?" Another thing to remember – your reputation is on the line if you don't "show up" (for phone calls, e-mails, text messages or meetings) without a timely explanation. Your partner could have the power to spread the word around as to your reliability, amongst other things. See also item 10.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
5.
9
A
Here's why: Keep in mind the purpose of formalized mentoring matches -- typically to do two or more of: - develop skills, - deepen insights - cultivate wisdom - coach (when and if need be) and - transfer knowledge. It is misleading to compare a mentoring match with an arranged marriage. Thousands of successful longer- (and shorter-) term mentoring matches have been purposefully made on the basis of style, compatibility, needs and expertise or all of these factors. Those who say otherwise typically have never run a mentoring program, or have never participated in such a program and so do not speak from real world experience.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
6.
10
A -- for several reasons that might sound harsh but that are based on reality.
Here's why: Many protégés will feel unimportant and angry if they sense the help they request (Needs) cannot be given as promised (Expertise). Those who organize and run the mentoring program could ask themselves these questions: why would any learner (given our busy world) want to work their way through a list of Needs twice when it isn't necessary? Why hold out a promise—the program will help you -- that won't be kept? Add to this the fact that if a protégé is not asked to be (1) focused and (2) specific about their immediate needs before the match is made, time is wasted later. All too often it is assumed adult protégés don’t know what needs they have or can’t articulate them. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
7.
11
B.
Here's why: This was a bit of a trick question due to the "Action Plan" [Scheduling each step of an Action Plan best achieves desired protégé goals]
Mentoring Action Plans improve the relationship and outcomes 1000%. Having one or more goals and striving to meet them is fundamental. Otherwise why meet? Even more basic is that the partners state what their goals are, write them down, agree on them and attach some dates to each step along the way to "the finish line". Partnerships based on Action Planning means the relationship has value and is important. Meeting merely at a whim makes the partnership little more than a casual lunch with no goal in mind. Such an approach conveys the negative message that it is not important. As the saying goes: “If you don’t plan where you’re going, you won’t know if you’ve arrived.”
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
8.
12
B.
Here's why: There's lots of research to back this up even if you think it should be the other way around. Liking can be a very subjective, short-term and superficial basis for decision-making. There's also research that tells us we are prone to make split-second judgments of others even if those judgments prove to be wrong! Recall that this is a learning arrangement. It takes time to get to know your partner. More than one meeting in most cases. Suspend judgment for the moment. Work with that other person. Give each other time to earn mutual trust and respect. This approach will carry your relationship farther – especially if you are working together to develop competencies and specific skills.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
9.
13
B.
Here's why: Science shows we aren’t born knowing how to be parents, or spouses, or good citizens or mentoring partners. We have inborn capabilities that need to be shaped and cultivated towards these ends, including being in a mentoring relationship. That's why we take lessons to drive cars, cook, play sports, do our hobbies. Without the lessons, quite possibly we will have a vehicle accident, burn the stew, throw the baseball short of the mark (and lose the game) … or short-circuit the mentoring relationship. Second, most people don't realize that some aspects of mentoring are counter-intuitive! If you don't know this in advance – well, you can guess what this does to an otherwise great learning situation. And it's hard to undo any damage. Third, long ago, by observing long-term mentoring that went on in society, you and I would know how these arrangements operated. We might be matched to work together, for instance in an apprenticeship. One of us would be a proven expert and one of us would be the learner. We would clearly know right from the start how the relationship would work and what the ground-rules were because there were instructions and lessons given on this. No guessing. To add to this, we would spend years growing the relationship so learning would take place and goals reached. Granted the world has changed via technology but that doesn't guarantee learning is necessarily better or always faster. But then that's another story for another day.
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
10
14
B.
Here's why: If an agreement to work and learn together has been made between two willing people, then to skip out on a partner is rude and conveys a strong negative message about commitment. Some mentors will claim that they've "done the training / course" already so don't need to repeat the session. If you think about it, this type of person is focusing on the course content instead of on the new partner. Obviously each partnership is different. To miss out on the golden opportunity to find out about your new partner is to miss the most valuable early hours of the relationship. It's typically this first session when partners say to one another: "I never thought of __ that way. I'm glad we had this chance to talk." Or "If I hadn't talked to you about __, I would have assumed something very different about what we're to work on in the next couple of months."
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
Mentoring: Hit or Myth? Test yourself
15
Some parting thoughts How did your answers compare with the experts? Were you surprised by some of the answers? Did you find yourself agreeing with many of answers but not with others? Our goal was to make you re-think the subject and open new avenues to how and why people best fit into a formal, mentoring relationship. We've enjoyed the opportunity to present this quiz. Please look for our other quizzes (Mentoring Quiz #2, Coaching Quiz, and Knowledge Transfer) as they come out. All the best from the Team at Mentoring Solutions. For even more mentoring insights call us at:
250-652-0326 or 250-652-9247
©20049 CMSI Mentoring Solutions Inc. All rights reserved. www.mentoringsolutions.com
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