Taxi Ride

TAXI RIDE I was drivin my taxi one night when I stopped an picked this guy up. “Where to buddy ?” I asked as he slipped into the back seat. “I have to go back,“ he told me. “Back where ?” “Back in time.” I glanced at him in the rear-view. “Well that’s no problem,” I told him, “but you realise there’s a boundary charge if we leave this century ?” “That’s okay,” he replied. “I know an Alchemist.” “An Alchemist !” I scoffed. “All they’re good for is makin lead. I don’t take lead.” He laughed. “That’s just what Jackie Kennedy said,” he told me. “Hey, I was related to Jackie Kennedy once,” I informed him. “There’s no doubt abut that,” he remarked, “I recognise your hairstyle.” “Yeah I know - blood suits me,” I said dryly. He was silent for a couple of minutes, just starin out the window then he turned an spoke again. “My sister had a kid one time an he couldn’t do a thing for himself because he was a mongol,” he told me. “They called him Genghis Khant.” “Too bad,” I sympathised. “Mind if I smoke ?” “Good idea,” he replied, tossing a zipped leather pouch onto the passenger seat next to me. “Roll one with mine.” I rolled a thick one an we smoked. We sat awhile just smoking an starin out at the traffic. I noticed a subtle change in the night. Like dimensions were slowly alterin. I realised this was good weed. “So which century do you want to go back to ?” I asked him eventually. “Take a wild guess,” he told me an started takin off his overcoat. I turned for a look an saw he was wearin the outfit of a Captain in the SS. He brought out a peaked cap complete with its Death’s Head badge an put it on. “Berlin. November 1941. Outside the Reichstag,” he instructed. “I have to pick up a package.” “Okay. When we get there should I wait ?” I asked. “Yeah,” he replied. “Keep the engine runnin. I won’t be long.” I cruised off, headin to the slip-way for the time-travel highway. We smoked as we drove. I enjoy a smoke when I’m drivin at night. How time flies when you’re enjoyin yourself. An so it flew. Back the way. Good job I was licensed for timetravel. Berlin,1941, outside the Reichstag. Swastika flags everywhere. Good natured Nazis prowled the streets, stoppin Jews an tellin them jokes an givin them cigarettes. I was goin to get out for a piss then remembered I was circumcised Christ, I hate jokes. We parked an the Captain slipped out into the night. As I sat there waitin, footsteps approached. They stopped at the car an I glanced up. A guy in a black overcoat flashed his Gestapo badge at me an motioned for me to roll down the window. When I did he bent down an conveniently spoke in English. “I suffer from reverse paranoia,” he informed me. “What are you paranoid about ?” I asked him. “I keep thinking I’m not being followed,” he told me. I glanced back in the direction he’d come from - there was no-one around. “See what I mean,” he said an strolled off. The Captain returned a few minutes later an slipped into the back seat. He looked relieved. “Home,” he ordered. “Did you collect the package ?” I asked him. He patted his overcoat pocket an nodded. I was curious. “What’s in it ?” “Designs for tattoos,” he told me. “Secret tattoos.” “How secret ?“ I asked.

“They have to be done on the inside of the skin,” he replied. “Makes sense,” I said, noddin. Rain started to fall. It was cold, dark an rainy. How I loved nights like that. I rolled another smoke an decided to take the long way home.