Study Guide Worksheet 7 Fragments Run-on Sentences Unparallel Structures Answers

Worksheet 7 - Answers Fragments, Run-on sentences, Unparallel structures Context: The following reports on the immoral practices of beauty salons. It contains mistakes in fragments, run-ons and parallelism. Identify and correct the mistakes.

Beauty salons’ ludicrous claims should be regulated, says party Friday, May 27, 2007 1

The case of a 15-year-old boy who was given dubious treatment to grow taller is among the thirteen complaints against beauty salons that the Democratic Party received in the past three months.

2

The complaints have prompted calls for greater regulation of salons that offer slimming, gain height or hair-implanting treatments without medically qualified supervision. Democrat Fred Li Wah-ming believed these complaints were only the tip of the iceberg. 4As there were many advertisements for similar services in entertainment magazines. “5Each advertisement costs about HK$20,000 to print and most beauty salons are located in the most crowded districts, like Mong Kok and Causeway Bay. 6This means the business is very lucrative,” he said.

Comment [h1]: Unparallel Structure

3

Comment [h2]: Fragment

7

Mr Li said people were reluctant to come forward. “8Many victims may feel too embarrassed to tell others that they have tried to gain height. 9So even after they have been cheated, they don’t dare speak out,” explained Mr Li.

“10The Trades Description Ordinance regulates only the advertising of goods but not services, since these services are not regarded as medical, they are not regulated by the Undesirable Medical Advertisements Ordinance. 11There is a vacuum of regulation over these misleading treatments,” said Mr Li. “12The government must take action to increase the protection of consumers.”

Comment [h3]: Run-on

13

In another case, a university student paid HK$57,000 for an electric current treatment at a beauty salon in 2004. 14The salon staff claimed the current could stimulate the growth of soft tissues and increase her height, they also persuaded her to buy magical cream that could make her taller. 15The undergraduate could not stand the pain induced by the electricity and a refund was demanded. 16But the staff refused. Orthopaedist Bobby Ng Kin-wah said only surgery could help an adult gain height. 18Girls usually stopped growing at about 16. 19Boys at 18.

Comment [h4]: Run-on Comment [h5]: Unparallel Structure

17

20

The Democratic Party has referred the cases to the Consumer Council and may help the victims claim refunds through the Small Claims Tribunal. LILIAN GOH

CC2001d

VII-1

Comment [h6]: Fragment

Revised Passage: 6 corrections: 2 run-ons; 2 parallelisms; 2 fragments (highlighted sections for corrected parts)

Beauty salons’ ludicrous claims should be regulated, says party Friday, May 27, 2007 1

The case of a 15-year-old boy who was given dubious treatment to grow taller is among the thirteen complaints against beauty salons that the Democratic Party received in the past three months.

2

The complaints have prompted calls for greater regulation of salons that offer slimming, height-gaining or hair-implanting treatments without medically qualified supervision. 3&4

Democrat Fred Li Wah-ming believed these complaints were only the tip of the iceberg as there were many advertisements for similar services in entertainment magazines. “5Each advertisement costs about HK$20,000 to print and most beauty salons are located in the most crowded districts, like Mong Kok and Causeway Bay. 6This means the business is very lucrative,” he said.

7

Mr Li said people were reluctant to come forward. “8Many victims may feel too embarrassed to tell others that they have tried to gain height. 9So even after they have been cheated, they don’t dare speak out,” explained Mr Li.

“10The Trades Description Ordinance regulates only the advertising of goods but not services. Since these services are not regarded as medical, they are not regulated by the Undesirable Medical Advertisements Ordinance. 11There is a vacuum of regulation over these misleading treatments,” said Mr Li. “12The government must take action to increase the protection of consumers.” 13

In another case, a university student paid HK$57,000 for an electric current treatment at a beauty salon in 2004. 14The salon staff claimed the current could stimulate the growth of soft tissues and increase her height. They also persuaded her to buy magical cream that could make her taller. 15The undergraduate could not stand the pain induced by the electricity and she demanded a refund. 16But the staff refused. 17

Orthopaedist Bobby Ng Kin-wah said only surgery could help an adult gain height. 18Girls usually stopped growing at about 16. 19Boys stopped growing at 18.

20

The Democratic Party has referred the cases to the Consumer Council and may help the victims claim refunds through the Small Claims Tribunal. LILIAN GOH (Freely adapted from the South China Morning Post)

CC2001d

VII-2