Stress Coping Skills-ebook

KUMARMAHI

Stress Coping Skills

No how

hard

the

matter past,

you can always begin again.

– Buddha

Kumarmahi

Stress Coping Skills

Content 1. Thinking, feeling and action

2. Three step coping process 3. Top three coping method 4. Attitude and stress 5. Stress coping skills training - An overview 6. Mind set for coping with stress 7. Relaxation and stress 8. Assessing stress -checklist for you 9. Problem solving and stress 10. Strategies to improve your learning and performance

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“People are not disturbed by things but by the views which they take of them” (Epictetus).

1. Thinking, feeling and action

Life today is becoming increasingly complex; stress is an inevitable part of life. It is thought that yyoung oung people today are under more and different types of stress, compared with people from previous generations such as; increased pressure, competition, decreased resources for family support, increased access to means of self selfharm, violence in the media aand nd increased use of alcohol, drugs. When coping resources are inadequate stressful events may give rise to unhealthy outcomes. Stress or lack of coping resources may be one factor of many that contribute to suicide. To successfully coping with life challenges challenges the following are more important; ● Become more knowledgeable about stress ● Understand the process and effects of stress ● Identify your major sources of stress – situations, people, etc. ● Anticipate stressful periods and plan for them ● Develop successful stress management techniques and and practice them

Thinking and feeling process occurs always in our mind in the background. Most of the time it is habitual and automatic, and we are not aware of it. Our actions (behaviour) are only output. Particular set of believes, purpose and meaning cr create eate particular perspective to our thinking, feeling, and action, which in turn it will give its own outcome or result. If you change your purpose, meaning or perspective, your thinking, feeling and action will change. You will get different outcome.

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You can can get what you want by change your perspective, purpose or meaning of the stressful situation. You need little training and discipline. But you can do it! “You can not always control circumstances. But you can control your thoughts”.- Charles Poplestone thoughts”.Thinking, feeling and acting are reciprocal in nature. Each one influences and influenced by other two. 1. Our usual thinking will be; • Inference about the event • Imagination • Fantasy thinking • Solution about the problem etc… • Slow in nature This in turn will produce situation specific emotions Consider this example You are ideally sitting in your room. No one is around you. What will be of your thinking and feeling? Feel boring, imagine something When we encounter stressful situation, if the situat situation ion is uncertain, Speed up our thought Negative in nature http://stress coping.blogspot.com/ http://stress-coping.blogspot.com/

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Thought will produce mixture of emotions. What we are doing with our life situation. Where you are now and where you want to go. Either you are using or loosing our life energy. You can check it now. See the four squares yellow, green, red, and blue. The colour yellow, green, and red represent the traffic signal

Passive – waiting for something to happen (chance chance) chance Active – make something to happen (choice choice) choice Confused – obstacle or lack of clear plan or goal (confuse confuse) confuse Withdraw – give up, avoidance (cut cut down) down

You can stay temporarily if you are in yellow, You can go if you are in green because you have learn to use your stress

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You must stop if you are in red. red. You have to check your goal, value, believes, attitude… it is necessary to correct yourself before you proceed. If you are in blue you may need assistance, help, advice from others

" half of the problems in life are because, we act without thinking and the rest half is because we keep thinking without acting" Ask 4 questions 1. When? Source: Thinking makes it so Life events: How you take it, Something happens to you and you think it is, • Unwanted • Undesirable • Unacceptable • Unpredictable • Uncontrollable • Unexpected • Uncertain 2. How? Distress: how do you feel? Your thinking generate feelings http://stress coping.blogspot.com/ http://stress-coping.blogspot.com/

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Primary emotions • Anger • Fear • Worry Secondary emotions • Guilt • Shame • Envy etc.. 3. Why? Cause: what you make it Our personal resources is very important to handle our thinking and feelings What is lacking in you? Each one is important to handle life events 1. Knowledge 2. Skills 3. Objectives- purpose, meaning 4. Practice 5. Social support 4. What? Effects: what happen to you if you do not handle properly of your life events? It will affect the three important domains, Personal – how you feel about yourself in other words how you relate with yourself, your confidence, motivation, self esteem etc..

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Inter personal – how you relate with others, withdraw, aggressive, abusive etc.. Work/ task – how you relate meaningfully with your task Ask four questions 1. What you think when you upset ooff something? 2. How you feel when you think like that? 3. What you can do to reduce distress? 4. If not what will happen to you?

"You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you." - James Allen To become become a survival of the fittest, we need to develop the following five skills. Lack of these skills may create stress. 1. Critical thinking skill Most of our day to day thinking is far from logical; we quite often jump to conclusions based on irrational ide ideas. as. Believes and attitudes shapes our perception, which will affect how we approach and cope with our life events. Critical thinking skills help us to reduce the errors in our thinking. 2. Problem solving & decision making skill Ineffective problem solv solving ing and hasty decision making are more likely leads to emotional distress and stressful consequences. Systematic approach to complex problems will help us to improve our quality of life.

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3. Communication skill Most of our communication are partial we are poor listener. Appropriate communication prevents us from much stress. For example aggressive people dominate others; non assertive people avoid the issue. 4. Interpersonal skill Family and friends are important in helping us to cope with stress. Developing and maintaining satisfying relationship may be necessary during a period of stressful life situation. 5. Self-regulation We need to regulate our thinking, feeling and acting so that they are most appropriate to the situation which prevent from stress. These five skills are complementary to each other and are essential for us to become preventive and proactive to our stressful life events. Buddhist perspective - stressful life Four noble truth I. Life is suffering II. Suffering has a cause, the cause can be known III. Suffering can be brought to an end IV. The path to end suffering has eight parts 1. right understanding 2. right mindfulness which together are wisdom 3. right speech http://stress-coping.blogspot.com/

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4. right action 5. right living which together are morality 6. right effort 7. right attentiveness 8. right concentration which together are concentration Stress coping - modern perspective I. Stress is inevitable II. Stress has a cause, the cause can be known III. We can prevent, control and cope up with stress IV. The way to cope up with stress 1. knowledge –Wisdom, Self – awareness- know about one’s strength and weakness, Knowledge about one’s own stress and coping 2. skills i. Critical thinking – clear thinking (minimum error and bias) ii. Problem solving & decision making iii. Communication – right speech iv. Interpersonal v. Self – regulation 3. objectives – values, plan, goal, purpose and meaning of your life 4. practice – right living, practicing meditation, relaxation, exercise and diet etc 5. social support – interdependence, giving receiving help we are going to learn these five areas one by one in the following posts.

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"Although the world is full of suffering suffering...it ...it is also full of overcoming it."-it."-Helen Keller Stress is common to every one; however we differ in how we respond to our stressors. When we are under or over aroused we can not performing our task at our best. Peak performance is achieved when we are in a state of optimum arousal. In our every day situation, if we are in control of our thinking, feeling and action we can reduce the stress and increase our performance. We tend to think, feel and act in a consistent ways in accordance with our own beliefs beliefs and coping strategies. Most of us habitually react to our life events without much awareness. If we learn to think, feel and act in a helpful, flexible and realistic way we are not only reduce but also can gain something out of our stressful life events events. fig 1. Events, our appraisal and its outcome

Event

Challenge

Optimum arousal

Goal mastery

Threat

Under

Physical/

Harm

/over arousal

Psychological

Person’s appraisal

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fig 2. The link between thinking, feeling, action and its outcome

When a stress event occurs, first we have aware of our thoughts, feeling and actions. Next check it is it helpful to deal with the situatio situation, n, and then we make a change if necessary. We are all differing in how we perceive, express and manage emotions. We need to understand and regulate our emotions so that they are most appropriate to the task or situation at hand. Different emotions create ddifferent ifferent information processing vice versa. Coping with our own thoughts and emotions help us to cope better. Check your thinking, is it Flexible or Rigid Realistic or Unrealistic Helpful or Unhelpful

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change; courage to the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.” difference.”- Serenity prayer

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Understanding our own stress is very difficult but it is also very important. To know more about what is controllable and what is uncontrollable see the following table, Think! What is your mild, moderate, and major stressor? Type

Example

Duration

Eliminate

Mild

Traffic, Short time noise, waiting

Possible

Moderate

Relationship/ Financial problems

Difficult

Major

Physical disability Death, incurable illness

Long time

Life time

Impossible

Need

Time Effort Time, effort Practice, Social support Acceptance, forgiveness, Social support

Goal

Build resilience Practice coping

Minimize discomfort

We have mild, moderate and major stressors in our life. some can be changeable some can not change. Identify what is changeable and do it what is appropriate and necessary. identify what is unchangeable and learn to accept it. we can change our attitude and response to the event but we can not change our gender, parents etc.. Think about it today what is changeable? what you are going to do what is unchangeable? learn to accept it

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2. Three Three step coping process "Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule" -Buddha Buddha Our personal experiences can influence our perception, appraisal of the situation and coping strategies. Under stress we do not ha have ve much thoughtful to processing information as when our lives are calm. Changing the relational meaning of what is happening is a very powerful and widely employed device for regulating stress and feelings. SelfSelf-regulation regulation consists of learning to delay action, action, being aware of both what one is feeling and thinking as well as how one is presenting oneself. Our responses to stressful events are the key to successful adaptation and personal growth. The first step to coping with our life events is to aware of ou ourr own habitual reaction to the situation. The second step is to assume responsibility to engage our thinking in helpful ways. Third step will be to choose our action in appropriate manner so that we can cope with it more constructively. 3 'A'-Aware, 'A' Aware, Assume responsibility, Act Check it What is lacking in you? Each area is important to handle life events 1. Knowledge Knowledge- gathers relevant information 2. Skills – acquire needed skills 3. Objectives Objectives- take a new look, make new meaning, have clear goal and plan 4. Practice – do the daily routine such as regular exercise diet, relaxation and carryout action towards the goal/plan 5. Social support – give receive help from others, talk to someone you trust

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3. Top three coping method 1. Proactive coping You can do something before the stressful events occur! One can cope before stressful events take place, while it is happening or afterwards. We can anticipate, prevent, or seek challenges. We can increase or invest our personal, social resources effectively. We can not wait for the things happened, we can make the things happen by our active effort. Example for proactive coping

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-preparing for an exam or an interview well in advance -managing our time or relationship -working out our plan or goal with commitment Changing our attitude focusing the present or future events 2. Meaning making You can do something even after the stressful events Sometime changing the way we think, feel and act will help us to deal with our stress. Reorganizing, reinterpreting, reframing, restructuring and looking for the positive of stressful events are the ways to make meaning. many of the psychotherapy aims at nothing but changing the way of thinking, feeling and acting. Changing our self to fit into the unchangeable external reality is essential to cope with it. Example for the meaning making We can take a new look make new meaning Failure as a feedback Change as a challenge Obstacle as an opportunity Changing our response to the past or present event

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3. Religious coping You can do something even in extreme stress All religions offer a framework for understanding, interpreting and accepting our stressful life events. When we encounter uncontrollable circumstances the only thing we can do to comfort ourselves is to surrender to God, the almighty. This will give at least the illusion of control over the situation. Positive religious coping is the only way if all the coping methods failed. this method can give us a sense of relief and peace in extremely uncontrollable stressful circumstances. Example Think how one can cope with these following situations! Death of loved one Life threatening, incurable illness such as cancer Violence, terrorism Transforming oneself beyond their own limits,To gain strength and acceptance Top three protecting shield, that helps us to deal with our stress. 1. Personal development How we relate with ourselves Personal attributes such as self-esteem, self-worth, self-determinism, optimism, hope and self-efficacy directly related to our stress. Personal development is the first http://stress-coping.blogspot.com/

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protecting shield from stress. We need to feel good about ourselves. Take personal responsibility 2. Social development How we relate with others Our communication, relationships, giving receiving help and managing conflict all requires honesty, genuineness, and mutual trust. We need other persons help and support to cope with stress. This will be the second protecting shield that protects us from stress. Take social responsibility 3. Work or task How we relate with our task or work Only through our meaningful contribution or achievement we can believe our ability, meaningful contribution and our achievements make us feel worthy, boost our esteem. We may gain new friends others may appreciate accept and respect us. We need to achieve, learn or contribute something. This is the third protecting shield that helps us from stress. Contribute something meaningfully These three domains in our life serve as protecting shields which make a difference in our life. If we learn to respond instead of reacting to our life events

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we can gain something which will help us to transform our life greatly.

4. Attitude and stress

To change your circumstances, first start thinking differently. —Norman —Norman Vincent Peale Attitudes are important because they shape our percepti perceptions ons of the beliefs about events, situations, and people which influence our behaviors. Attitude is our mental filter through which we experience the world. They are formed gradually though experiences and learning. Attitude can increase stress and negatively negatively impact your physical and emotional well well-being. -being. being. Some of our attitude creates stress such as, "1 must always please people and live up to everyone's expectations." "I am basically defective and inferior to other people." "I must always be perfect." “Others “Others must accept me” “No one understand me” “No one respect me” “I must do it myself” “My life is running me” “I must not fail” “I cannot say no to someone or something” “Other people exploit me” By changing our attitude, perception and reactions to stress we can reduce stress this will positively impact your health and well-being. well being. Be flexible with our rigid wellhttp://stress coping.blogspot.com/ http://stress-coping.blogspot.com/

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attitudes. We need to check our attitudes very often because we may not aware of it. The good news is if we aware, it is very easy to change. Negative thoughts drain you. Positive thoughts energize you. And you have a choice. Only you are responsible for your experiences of life. Emotion and stress "Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself" - James Allen Mostly nnot ot the event itself but our distressing emotions such as anger, fear, worry or shame/guilt make us feel worst and cause ineffective handling of the situations. Primarily stress coping attempt to coping with our own distressing emotions. There is an inverse relationship between our rational thinking and distressing emotions. When we are stressful our thinking will be very narrow.

For example Feel about “love” - passionately Think about “love” – rationally

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You can feel the difference between the two Ou Ourr appraisal plays a major role that determines our emotional experiences. Reappraisal decreases negative emotions. Under stress there is a overlap between positive and negative emotion which in turn we confused about our feelings and problems. We can see iinn our every day lives, If someone under stress, is confused the other person help him/her to take decision but the other person have such type of problem he also turn others to help to take decision. This is because present and absents of distressing emoti emotions. ons. Person who are emotionally intelligent will perceive and appraise their emotional states and know how and when to express their feelings. These competencies help him to cope up successfully with his stress. Emotional intelligence/ competence/ maturity is nothing but Understand, manage and control our own emotions Understand, manage and control others emotion The good news is we can learn to control our emotions. The bad news is our innate fighting urge and unconscious impulsive reactions prevent us from from controlling our emotions. Relationship, communication and stress Do more than exist - live Do more than touch – feel Do more than look – observe Do more than read – absorb

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Do more than hear – listen Do more than listen – understand - John.H.Rhoade

Relationship can be a common source of stress and also important resource for combating stress. Relationships provide us Love, Intimacy, Reassurance of worth, Tangible assistance, Guidance Informational support and Emotional support. Building strong relationship is very essential to cope up with stress. High quality social relationships involves being aware of our thinking, feeling and then communicating those ideas. Maintain relationship involves recognizing difficulties early and dealing with our own hidden agenda, mind reading and negative assumptions etc. The ability to communicate care and concern is essential to maintain a good relationship. Effective communication in our interaction with others can be a significant way of lowering our own stress levels even in unpleasant situations; we can feel good about our own skillful responses. Learning to communicate better will get us involved with others and help us express our needs more clearly and calmly. We need to learn to understand and regulate emotions of other people to cheer them up when they are down, to engage them when we want them to listen to us.

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Some tips to improve your communication and relationships We share our inner feelings only with Dear/ Near one, because they use their Ear (listen). Did you notice ear denote that Empathy Acceptance Respect Do you know what listening means? Learn to wait before you speak Initiate someone to share their feelings Silently observe Test your understanding by using paraphrase, reflect back Empathize Need your acceptance and understanding but not your premature advice Do you know the importance of empathy? To Listen to some One Value Empathy To Love some One Value Empathy To Lead Others Value Empathy To Link with some One life Value Empathy Empathy is nothing a pure form of love. Regardless of others fault, behaviour learn to love. This is a way to live. Don’t be sources of stress to others; learn to give emotional support to others. http://stress-coping.blogspot.com/

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5. Stress coping coping skills training - An overview

As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world ... as in being able to remake ourselves. - Mahatma Gandhi Be familiar with training which enhances your stress coping skills. So that you can choose according to your specific needs. 1. Psycho educational programme Objectives – to know more about stress To learn more about what is stress, source, sign and symptoms of stress, impact of stress on health, performance and well well-being. well-being. Training iinvolves nvolves usually lecture, may include psychometric measures and relaxation. 2. Stress inoculation training (SIT) Objectives – build resilience and tolerance SIT focuses multiple coping responses to resolve current problems as well as to ‘inoculate’ the pers person on or group against future stress. Since maladaptive coping is often related to lack of preparation and surprise. SIT exposes individuals to milder stressors as a way to enhance their ability to cope with more severe life situations. Training involves theo theoretical retical explanation, active (variety of) skill acquisition, application in real life and follow follow-up. follow-up.

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3. Cognitive behavioural training (CBT) Objectives – minimize faulty, distorted thinking, attitude and behaviour There is a reciprocal relationship between thinking (cognition), feeling (affective) and action (behaviour). CBT emphasizes the importance of changing our thinking, feeling and behaviour as a way to reducing symptoms and improving functioning and our well being. Training involves identifying and modifying biased or distorted thought process, attitude and behaviour by using self- monitoring and cognitive restructuring etc. 4. Mindfulness training Objectives – experience new relationship with mind-body instead of same old pattern To teach people how to manage every day stress by observes the moment by moment sensation, cognition and emotions without judging whether they are bad or good. The core principle is non-judging, patience, trust, non-striving beginners mind, acceptance and letting go. Training involves mindful breathing, body scan, mindful walking, mindful meditation and mindfulness of everyday activities. 5. Behavioural rehearsal Objectives – teach specific skills Specific procedure that aims at replaces deficient or inadequate responses by efficient and effective behavioural patterns. Training involves modeling, role-playing, etc.

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6. Anger management Objectives – reduce impulsive unwanted anger Aims at minimize anger frequency, intensity, duration and moderate anger expressions. Training involves understand and modifying cognition (thinking), arousal (feelings), behaviour (its outcome). 7. Anxiety management Objectives – reduces discomfort and improve performance To minimize anxiety, unwanted physiological arousal which result of faulty perception or learning. Training involves relaxation, guided imagery, home work assignment and real life practice. 8. Communication skills training Objectives – improving relationship and reduce conflict To reduce inappropriate communication, conflict and maximize effective interpersonal communication, relationships. Training focuses listening skill, assertiveness, and empathy skill etc. 9. Relaxation training Objectives – minimize physical, physiological impact of stress To reduce physiological manifestation of stress by teaching the person to become aware of muscle tension and to release that tension.

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Progressive muscle relaxation relaxation-- for example involves tensing and releasing various muscle groups until a deep relaxation state can be accomplished. There are number of of relaxation techniques such as autogenic, stretching, biofeedback, guided imagery, and meditation etc. 10. Modifying life life-style style Objectives – mind – body and work life balance Modification is necessary, if our present life style is not balanced and stressful. stressful. For example some of the followings are essential for everyone but many of us don’t do it at all. Getting adequate sleep Eat balanced diet regularly Allot time for exercise and relaxation Manage your goal, time effectively Delegate duties Spend time wit withh your family, friends often Give time, space for yourself alone every day Two or more of the above stress coping skill training combination will be effective. Identify your source and specific needs then select your programme accordingly. Understand why yyour our stress level is so high “Self actualizing individuals have "superior awareness of their own “Self“Self-actualizing impulses, desires, opinions, and subjective reactions in general.” - Abraham Maslow Check the followings to understand why your stress level is so high http://stress coping.blogspot.com/ http://stress-coping.blogspot.com/

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Example • Your temperament- impulsive • Your personality - type A • Your information processing style – irrational • Your current mood – irritation • Your dominant emotion – anger • Your communication style – non assertive • Your physical condition – lake of sleep • Your health – illness • Your body chemistry – alcohol, drugs • Your work load - too much to do • Your role model – form your parent • Your financial condition – sudden change • Your social support – emotional support • Your ability believe – confidence • Your perception of the event – point of view • Your conflict – interpersonal problems • Your preoccupation – unresolved issues

All the above items makes you vulnerable and rise your stress level, if it is temporary, nothing to worry, but if it exist over a period of time you need to get necessary help from appropriate person.

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Stress? – learn to give receive help "What really matters for success, character, happiness and life long achievements is a definite set of emo emotional tional skills - your EQ - not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests." --Daniel --Daniel Goleman, Interpersonal relationship is an important factor for the interpersonal stress process. Everyday stress involving frustration, con conflict flict and demand may be more likely to produce physical or psychological fatigue. Daily interpersonal stressors that persist over several days without resolution may lead to increasing mood disturbance. Interpersonal relationship directly affects the help seeking behaviour. Pleasant social relationships increases the likelihood of seek help and decreases loneliness, whereas unpleasant social relationships reduces likelihood of get help and increased loneliness. Both the quality of social support and willingness willingness to get help is very essential for our wellbeing. For example the following stages of our life need specific support that is essential for our healthy development and wellbeing. Child – supportive communication from parents and teachers Adolescents – ppeer eer acceptance and family support Adult – assurance of worth and emotional support from significant others Employees – support from supervisor and team members Victims – support group such as PTSD support group Communication is a key to give and receive he help. lp. The quality of our communication depends on the following skills, Active listening

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Empathetic understanding Assertiveness How many of you willing to give and receive help? Asking help is a courageous act Be willing and learn to give and receive help. We can make this world more comfortable place to live!

6. Mind set for coping with stress

“The best way to predict your future is to create it.” - Stephen Covey Coping with stress not merely depends on the events or persons ability but also a matter of mind set. The following mind set will be helpful to dealing with stress. I hope this will help you. 1. SelfSelf- confidence Person with good feelings about oneself tend to cope better and view their situations as challenge rather than threat. 2. Personal respo responsibility nsibility Events may be external but how we interpret, appraise and handle with them purely within our hand. Assuming personal responsibility increases control believe which enhance our coping ability.

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3. Think positively, have faith Cultivate a positive attitude to life and its challenges and replace negative or irrational thoughts with realistic positive affirmations routes and have motivation to face your problems. 4. Clear goal and plan Our goal need to be well defined, realistic and must re-evaluate often otherwise leads to failure or disappointment. It is wise to plan for each day be flexible and make change if necessary. 5. Effective communication The ways we communicate improve our relationship. If you are overwhelmed with your feelings such as anger you can not think of an appropriate expression or communication. Improve your communication skills which will help you to clearly state what you feel and want. 6. Be creative and courage Present world repeatedly challenge us with new complex problems. We need to be creative and courage to deal with them. Successful coping may increase our selfconfident, improve our relationship and help us to learn new skills. 7. Taking care of physical health Good physical health helps you to meet life’s challenges. We need to gain knowledge about health related issues and get adequate sleep, exercise, sleep and leisure time for yourself.

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8. Mutual help Healthy relationships are very important in helping us to cope with stress. We need to learn to give and receive help from others. Learn to respond to the feeling and needs of others, communicate effectively, cultivate positive attitude towards others. Adaptive social skills will improve our quality of life.

7. Relaxation and stress

Relaxation methods help us to deal with many kinds of stress. Since we respond to stress in a different way, we need to find our own way to relax. Stress create tension, arousal and distress, relaxation involves just the opposite, reducing tension, arousal and distress. Relaxation involves -increase awareness of muscle tension -ability to control that tension -control autonomic activity such as breathing, heart rate etc.. -ability to control cognitive activity Relaxation training – An overview 1. Progressive or deep muscle relaxation Helps you to let go of unnecessary muscle tension

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2. Stretching or yoga Helps your body to become more flexible and relax 3. Breathing exercises Helps to quiet your mind and relax your body 4. Autogenic training Focus on suggestion or image that may directed towards relaxation 5. Guided imagery Entertain a fantasy may evokes positive feelings and relaxation 6. Meditation and mindfulness With certain type of awareness, we fully attend our thoughts, feelings without judgment All the above methods are very effective and require training 7. Other common methods – may not require training Sleeping – perhaps the simplest and natural way to relax you Having sex – refresh you Listen to music, songs etc.. Reading, watching T.V, go for a walk Talk to someone, socialization Take a warm bath or shower etc.. Enjoy nature

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Negative way of relaxation You may think the following methods relaxing you but it creates opposite of relaxation and has their own negative consequences. Be aware of it! -Smoking -Alcohol, drugs etc -Pornography, engage in sexual talk etc.. -coffee or some of the soft drinks Relaxation techniques will be effective if -Taught by trained professionals -suitable to your needs and capability -when practice become our part of everyday routine Now find out your suitable method and relax yourself!

8. Assessing stress -checklist for you

Handling stress is not always easy, hence there is a complex interrelated issues involved in it. We must pay attention to the following areas of individual to help them more effectively. Otherwise, you may handle only superficial problems. I. General factors 1. Physical – health, nutrition, specific symptom etc.. 2. Psychological – coping style, self-esteem, personal characteristics etc.. 3. Social - family, interpersonal, conflict, separation, attachment etc.

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4. Academic – failure, demand, unfamiliar environment etc.. 5. Work related – overload, harassment, conflict etc. 6. Environmental – violence, unfair policy, culture etc.. II. Specific personal factors 1. Cognition – distortion, rigidity, negative attribution etc. 2. Emotion – depression, anxiety, anger etc. 3. Behaviour – substance abuse, risk taking, withdrawal/isolation III. Temporal factors 1. Duration 2. Frequency 3. Perceived or real problem 4. Perceived controllability 5. Perceived efficacy believe 6. Perceived social support 7. Predictable outcome – hope IV. Other important factors 1. Need for medical treatment – life-threatening illness 2. Major life decision - separation, leaving job, school or college 3. Suicide ideation – unspoken area

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9. Problem solving-essential for stress management

Problem solving involves finding our way towards a goal. The object of problem solving is usually a solution, answer or conclusion. The capacity to solve problems successfully in the real world is a crucial component for one's well-being. Learning these skills helps us to improve our ability to cope with stress. Problem solving, • Forms part of thinking. • Most complex of all intellectual functions • Higher-order cognitive process • Fundamental skills Common steps in problem solving 1. Problem orientation 2. Problem definition and formulation 3. Generation of solutions 4. Decision-making 5. Solution implementation and verification. But the traditional information- processing model defined problem solving as a series of cognitive skills in problem identification, goal setting, finding suitable solutions and evaluating problem-solving outcomes, but largely ignored the motivational, affective and behavioural aspects of problem solving. Ineffective problem solving and hasty decision making are more likely leads to emotional distress and stressful pay off. We need to develop systematic approach when we are dealing with complex real life problems.

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Why some problems are complex 1. Conflicting motives 2. Uncertain, ambiguous situation 3. Risk involved 4. Different perspectives/ point of views 5. Many people involved 6. Different solution Barriers 1. Lack of knowledge / skills 2. Personal / social factors- values, attitudes, emotion, expectation, pressure 3. Cognitive errors –rigid, impulsive thinking pattern 4. Poor emotional regulation –mood swing, aggression 5. Lack of social perception 6. Lack of motivation 7. Poor self regulation Social Problems Any situation that brings forth feelings of discomfort such as conflict, stress, anxiety etc. resulting from interaction or relationships with others. Social Problems including, Impersonal problems such as-financial problems Personal problems such as – emotional, behavioural problems Interpersonal problems such as – marital, family conflict, Social problems such as – violence, racial discrimination

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Social problem solving The self-directed cognitive-behavioural-affective processes by which a person attempts to identify or discover effective or adaptive solutions for specific problems encountered in everyday living. The interpersonal cognitive problem-solving Ability to generate a number of alternative solutions to a conflict Ability to choose and implement an appropriate solution to a conflict Understanding and consideration of the social consequences of one’s actions for oneself and others. The ways we approach our problems Social problem solving becomes ineffective when it is dominated by a negative attitude towards problem solving, impulsiveness and acting out behaviour, or extreme delay and avoidance. (1) Positive Problem Orientation - an optimistic attitude to tackling problems; (2) Negative Problem Orientation -a pessimistic attitude to solving problems (3) Rational Problem Solving -a systematic approach to solving problems, including problem definition, problem analysis, and generation of alternative solutions (4) Impulsive/Careless Style -an ill-thought-out and hurried approach to solving problems (5) Avoidance Style -a tendency to procrastinate, blame others, or depend on others to solve one’s problems.

http://stress-coping.blogspot.com/

Kumarmahi

Problem Problem--solving solving therapy Training individuals to become better problem solvers in order to facilitate their ability to cope with stressful situations has been referred to in the psychotherapy psychotherapy and counseling literature as social problem solving therapy in order to highlight the social and interpersonal context in which realreal-life life problem solving occurs. Teaching social problem solving skills has become a common feature of programs desig designed ned to prevent and remediate discipline problems. Therapy concentrates on counteracting impulsivity, defining problems, generating solutions, encouraging consequential thinking and developing means means–end end action planning. 10. Strategies to improve your learning aand nd performance

Excellence can be attained if you…. Care more than others think wise! Risk more than others think safe! Dream more than others think is practical! Expect more than others think is possible! - Unknown Author

Strategies to improve your learning and performance There is just a thin line between your performance and stress. Same task or situation can be viewed as stress or opportunity for learning. The following strategies you need to check to improve your learning and performance.

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Kumarmahi

1. Avoidance If you feel incompetent you probably seek to escape from it. Avoidance will prevent you from learning new skills. Learning require active effort, it is natural we feel incompetent before mastering any task or skills. To master a task or skill first you take it as challenge and focus your mind on the process but not the end result. 2. Believe Success or failure mostly result of our attitude but not depends on our ability. You know we have unlimited potential. Our belief becomes our attitude, feelings and our action. Identify your self created limiting believes and challenge them. 3. Comparison Every one is unique. Comparison creates negative impact on your learning and performance. You can compare yourself with your own progress, it will motivate you. But don’t compare yourself with others negatively. 4. Distraction Our worries, anxiety and external events distract us. Distraction decreases our concentration and focus. Identify your distraction and minimize it. 5. Effort If you are willing to spare your time and energy you can reach your goal. Set priority, keep your focus, do it with commitment and motivate yourself.

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Kumarmahi

6. Feel it and Fix it Knowing is not enough to achieve something. You must feel the importance importance of what you are doing, create meaning, and contemplate mindfully. Aware of your own chronic mistakes and failures find out the reason and challenge them. About me Kumarmahi - Research scholarscholar-Psychology Psychology in the area of stress coping. Director of an organization working for suicide prevention. Please visit me for more resources often… http://stress coping.blogspot.com/ http://stress-coping.blogspot.com/ http://kumarmahi07.webs.com/ http://centreforpersonaleffectiveness.blogspot.com/ http://4prevent suicide.blogspot.com/ http://4preventhttp://4prevent-suicide.blogspot.com/ http://www.slideshare.net/kumarmahi http://psychology.phphope.com/ Please give your feedback to [email protected] [email protected]

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