Special Population 163 Edited Near Final.docx

VICTIMS OF LOVE: THE EXPERIENCES, PERCEPTIONS, AND COPING MECHANISMS OF TEENAGERS WHO EXPERIENCED OF INFIDELITY

GABRINEZ, FORTUNATO III RIPALDA, JED MARK SANTOS, CHRISTIAN PAOLO

University of the Philippines Visayas Tacloban College

December 2018

BACKGROUND OF THE STUDY

RATIONALE: Research on perceptions of infidelity is valuable because of the reason to have more knowledge on perceptions of infidelity in order to: a.) to be able to gain more insights on infidelity and its impacts on the youth, b.) to help understand the youth regarding the social, emotional and psychological impact of infidelity. Because each individual’s experiences differ so greatly, it is helpful to know what indicators may shape participants’ perceptions of infidelity.

MODULE OBJECTIVES: 1. 2. 3. 4.

To define infidelity through answers of the participants. To determine indicators of infidelity or cheating among youth. To gain insight on their perceptions on their partners on why they cheated. To identify coping mechanisms employed by victims of infidelity.

PARTICIPANTS: 1 person per session DURATION: 20 - 25 minutes MATERIALS: Audio recorder/smartphones, Semi-structured interview schedule (Appendix A) PROCEDURE: One-on-one Interviews

Orientation (5 minutes) DO: Prepare and review the materials needed, such as the guidelines, so as to avoid discomfort or conflicts during the interview. DO: Introduce yourself and then provide an informed consent. This document should contain the nature and purpose of the interview, possible risks and discomforts, and the contact information of the interviewer must also be provided. This should also serve as a permit to audio record the session, while taking into account the confidentiality of her answers and the security of her identity SAY: For this interview, we are going to talk about your experience of infidelity

Building Rapport (5 minutes) DO: Build rapport between you and the participant by asking him/her to introduce him/herself. Greet the participant. Introduce self and have interviewee introduce him/herself.

NOTE: Ask about information such as simple demographic questions. If it’s a student, ask details such as course and year. SAY: Good day/afternoon/evening! I am ___________. ASK: May I ask for your name? And where you are from? Can you tell me about yourself first? A short introduction will do. SAY: Hello, _____! Thank you for that. And thank you for participating in this interview. Now that we have introduced each other, can we start with the interview proper?

Discussion (10 - 15 minutes) ASK: So for you, how do you define infidelity? NOTE: Let participant share his/her answers. Participants may answer differently so listening actively is very crucial in this point. Take note of their answers so you can use it to clarify or probe later. DO: Clarify answers that are vague. Do not forget to use the check-out statement. ASK: Were there any indicators that your partner was cheating on you? DO: Listen carefully at this part because this is crucial, some participants may say that they didn’t see or feel any indicators, but some will answer behaviour indicators. Apply active listening skills to clarify their answers. ASK: How did you find out that your partner was being unfaithful to you? DO: Let the participant share his/her experience. This part of the interview is long because it involves a narrative of events. Note: At this part, the participant may become emotional. Be prepared to deescalate the situation. ASK: What did you feel about it? DO: Expect negative answers. This is normal. NOTE: This is a sensitive question, if the participant does not want to share, do not force them. Respect their silence. ASK: How did you cope with this situation? DO: Practice active listening. Do clarify and give encouraging statements. Be non-judgemental and validate their experience.

NOTE: Be aware that some people do not want to admit that they are coping negatively through risky behaviours. Look for hidden cues in their body language and from what they are saying, and especially to what they are not saying. ASK: What do you think are some short term effects of this infidelity on you? DO: Let them share their answer. Clarify and give encouraging statements. Validate their experience. ASK: What are some long-term effects on you? DO: Listen carefully, there are many things that need to be clarified here. ASK: If you were to introspect, why do you think your partner was unfaithful to you? DO: Listen carefully. Answers here could be internal judgements of themselves, or external attributions to factors they cannot control. Be mindful of your questions for clarifying. Reflect on the participant’s answers, do not let them feel like it was their fault, nor identify with their feelings, however relatable. Be neutral. NOTE: Some would prefer to answer noncommittally or just refuse to answer, do not force them to answer. Do: Prepare to summarize the whole interview. Start clarifying points that are still vague for you.

INSIGHTS AND CLOSING (5 minutes) DO: Repeat the reason for conducting the interview. After summarizing the whole interview DO: Let the participants share their thoughts about it. Evaluate and conclude the discussion with a brief summary of the whole discussion. Then, thank the participants for attending and give them incentives if there are available.

Appendix A The Interview Schedule 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

How do you define cheating/infidelity? Were there any indicators that your partner was cheating on you? How did you find out that your partner was being unfaithful to you? What did you feel about it? How did you cope with this situation? What do you think are some short term effects of this infidelity on you? If you were to introspect, why do you think your partner was unfaithful to you?

Appendix B Do’s and Don’ts DOs 1. Do think twice before asking each question in order to not compromise the interview. 2. Do remind your interviewee that his/her decisions and judgment should not be clouded by his/her emotions (or strong feelings during the interview). 3. Do let your interviewee thoroughly discuss their doubts, disappointments, feelings of betrayal but not to the point wherein they will rely on you. 4. Do understand their moral compass and set aside your personal biases. 5. Do let your interviewee know further about their rights in the context of infidelity. 6. Do take better measures with your words so as not to offend your client. 7. Do remind your interviewee to consider contingency for them to make healthier decisions in the future. 8. Do observe extra caution when suggesting ideas. 9. Do entertain the interviewee’s ideas and opinions. 10. Do ensure the interview that the data gathered will be kept confidential.

DON’Ts 1. Don’t pressure your interviewee to share about how they feel when their partners cheated on him/her. 2. Don’t continue/force the interviewee to finish the interview if he/she is psychologically and emotionally not ready to talk about their story. 3. Don’t ask too much details or looks of the person whom his/her partner/ex-partner cheated with as this might elicit unwanted negative emotional outbursts/insecurity. 4. Don’t share or react about how you feel about cheating/people who committed infidelity. 5. Don’t share about your own experience on infidelity to your interviewee. 6. Don’t give examples or tell the interviewee about someone else’s experience on infidelity. 7. Don’t identify with the interviewee’s reactions/emotions when he/she gets emotional while conducting the interview. 8. Don’t compare the interviewee’s experience with others’. 9. Don’t conduct the interview in a busy place due to the nature of the study. 10. Don’t share the story of the interviewee to others to keep the person’s story confidential.

11. Do make warm gestures that would make the interviewee welcome and comfortable. 12. Do avoid nitpicking. 13. Do take key notes of the interviewee’s responses.

11. Don’t influence the participant on how they should feel towards their partner/ex-partner. 12. Don’t say things that will degrade the interviewee’s partner/ex-partner. 13. Don’t give your interviewee suggestions on how they should or should not feel/do that might harm him/her. 14. Don’t provide your interviewee with information that has no factual basis. 15. Don’t give your interviewees false reassurance that they will someday be okay/move on/find “the one.” 16. Don’t question their beliefs that tap your personal biases. 17. Don’t show your disagreement towards your interviewee through gestures, facial expressions or any nonverbal behavior. 18. Don’t disregard the interviewee’s feelings.