Shemag Apr 09 (read In "fullscreen")

Glossy 2

3/20/09

1:36 PM

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Bringing Movement To Life.

McLeod Human Motion Specialists Finding some of the best orthopedic and spine care in the Southeast is now easier and more convenient than ever. McLeod Human Motion Specialists brings together a comprehensive network of skilled physicians, surgeons and rehabilitation specialists to offer a breadth of care and expertise that is truly extraordinary. At every level of treatment, every step is taken to ensure that you receive consistent, understandable information regarding your condition and plan of care. Whether your symptoms are due to an illness, injury or aging, our highly trained and experienced clinical teams enlist a coordinated approach that ensures the best care for you. The McLeod nationally recognized quality of care brings you back to life by bringing more movement to your life. And you can access it all by simply calling your doctor or 1-800-877-6762.

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Glossy 3

3/20/09

1:38 PM

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The Art of Style

The Shops of 7 Oaks • 2001 Hoffmeyer Road Florence, SC • 843.656.0399 www.heywardandhanna.com

Glossy 4

3/20/09

1:40 PM

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5

3/23/09

2:00 PM

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Allergy Asthma & Sinus Center With Help From Doctors who Care Stephen A. Imbeau, M.D., FACP, FAAAAI, FACAAI

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3/25/09

12:24 PM

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Announcing

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7

3/25/09

9:57 AM

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8

3/24/09

1:38 PM

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9

3/23/09

2:02 PM

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Introducing A new innovation in lashes What is LATISSE™? LATISSE™ solution is a prescription treatment for hypotrichosis used to grow eyelashes, making them longer, thicker and darker. Eyelash hypotrichosis is another name for having inadequate or not enough eyelashes. How does LATISSE™ work? LATISSE™ is believed to affect the growth (anagen) phase of the eyelash hair cycle in two ways: first, it increases the length of this phase; and second, it increases the number of hairs in this growth phase. The exact way it works is unknown. How soon will I see results? In the clinical trail, the majority of LATISSE™ users saw a significant improvement by 2 months.

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3/24/09

1:39 PM

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There’s plenty to love about Pee Dee Gardens! Call Shannon Berg & inquire about our friendly assisted living today! Call today for a confidential assessment and tour. Our Assisted Living is a snapshot of the top of the line...where it feels like family and where you know your loved one will be in the best care. We feature professional staff and the best living accommodations for your family member. At Pee Dee Gardens, your loved one is in the best of hands.

3117 West Palmetto St. • Florence • 843-667-6699 • www.peedeegardens.com

3/23/09

2:05 PM

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for more informationVisit:

theswampfox.com

May 15th & 16th JOIN

US FOR A DAY OF ENTERTAINM ENT, ARTS & CR AFTS, FOOD , FUN, & MO RE AT THE

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outdoor family entertainment GATES OPEN AT 6:00 PM ($2.00 GATE FEE) Concessions provided by Marion HS Booster Club

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Terence Lonon & The Untouchables delights with an extensive array of cherished Motown hits, forgotten golden oldies, swingin' New Orleans Jazz and Blues, Carolina Beach & Shag, pulsating Old School Funk, timeless Rhythm & Blues favorites, Swing music & high energy Current & Classic dance tunes. Concessions Provided By Marion HS Booster Club

Other Entertainment

11

Totally Committed Gospel

Ha Ha The Clown

performing

Noon- 6pm

Marion Mass Choir Gospel

Justin Roberts School of Dance

Johnakin Choir Various

The Little Temptations Rhythm & Blues

Emmalyn Davis Dance School

And many more local performers!

where South Main St. & Goldbold St. Meet

12

3/26/09

2:47 PM

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The Happiness Issue! In Every Issue 14

Letter from the Editor

16

She mail

22

In His Own Words Michael Boggs

25

Style File

28

Special Features 76

Becky Hunter

78

Amah Riley

80-81

Jennie Edwards

82

Wendy Hubbard Schurlknight

84

Amanda McAlpin

Beauty Buzz

86-87

Kristin Slaughenhoupt

30

She’s Closet

88

Carolyn Chandler

34

She Wants to Know

90-91

Debby Alexander-Lynn

92

Gail McCutcheon

38

The World According to Octavia Williams-Blake

94

Pam Worthy

41

Chick Lit Brooke Hunt

96

M. Beatryce Shaw

98

Rebecca Culbertson

42

What Advertisers Say Maibe Sew Home Market

47

Wee She Emily Elizabeth Capps

18

Marti Miller Warm Puppies and Cold Cats

102

Anna Kathryn Pitts Pots & Plans

Women at Work Bunchie Roberts

32

Cookie Cawthon Color Me Happy

108

Ouida K. Page, RN, LPC Permission to Be Happy

Campus Chick Lauren Coleman

36

Paige Thomas An Easter Basket Full

114

Rebecca J. Blair In Pursuit of Happiness

Wings for the Spirit by Sherry S. Page Atkinson

44

Melodie Griffin Just Call Me Happy!

116

Katy Brown Through the Eyes of a Child

Art & Soul by Sharman Poplava

48

Allie Atkinson Happiness Redefined

124

Kenyon Powers Happiness Is in Happenings

Chicks of the Month The Presbyterian Home

53

Sandra Honaker Alternative Happiness

128

Leigh Clary Abdou At the Foot of the Cross

Shop Talk Peasant’s Market

68

Ferebe Gasque Sometimes Happy Always Blessed

132

Beth Grant Start Every Day with Laughter...

72

Jumana A. Swindler Happiness Is...

50

54

59

62

66

70

100

Sheroes Florence Chairpersons of Relay for Life

110

There She Goes

118

She Has to Have It!

122

The Sir-Vey

126

And She Cooks,Too!

130

Purse Strings Frances Segars Jones

136

Contributing Writers

Who’s That Girl? Katlyn Curry Howell

Medical Experts 26

Dr. Michael Mitchell

64

McLeod Internist Encourages Men to Establish a Relationship with a Physician

Omega-3 Fatty Acid: The Miracle Supplement

112 56

Dr. David Stone Happiness is...an Allergy-Free Spring

J. Marshall Dent, III, MD

Carol Adams, PhD When Happiness Eludes

120

Lea Pritchard-Boone, PhD Happy Homes & Happy Children

3/25/09

12:26 PM

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She

She Magazine • April 2009 • 13

M e l ia a Flowers Berry Publisher/Editor [email protected]

Tuesday Taylor General Manager

we are

13

Advertising & Graphic Design [email protected]

Dresden Tucker Graphic Design [email protected]

Leigh Clary Abdou Production Manager Advertising & Design [email protected]

Our Annual Chemical Sale is now in Progress!

Heather Frick Intern [email protected]

LEISURE POOLS

Ashley Rogers

804 Second Loop Rd. Huntington Plaza • Florence 843-662-9037

Graphic Design

Stop by today!

[email protected]

Beverly Kelly Ray Gasque

- Executive Assistant

Florence

- Distribution Manager

2300 West Palmetto • Florence SC

She

Ladies Day every Tuesday!

mail

E m a i l t o : e d i t o r @shemagazine.com Mail to: 609 North Main Street • Marion, SC 29571 Call us: 843.423.2393 office line • 843.423.9837 fax line

Be pampered while you wait with a free manicure!

take us home For a copy to be placed in your mailbox, send a check or money order for $38 to the above address for a year's subscription.

She Magazine is published monthly and distributed at over 500 locations throughout the Pee Dee. She Magazine reserves the right to refuse any advertisement or content we deem inappropriate for the publication. Contributions are welcome and can be sent via e-mail or snail mail. Please include name, address and contact number. You will be contacted if we decide to print your submission. Content must be received by the 10th for the following month's publication. Letters to the Editor are welcome; however, they may require editing due to space limitations. The design, editorial and photo content in

She Magazine and may not be reproduced without written permission by the She Magazine is a registered trademark.

copyright of publisher.

She is

843.669.1676 w w w. f l o r e n c e t o y o t a . c o m

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3/26/09

3:12 PM

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APRIL 2009

from the editor his is called “THE HAPPINESS ISSUE.” Before I go any further, I must confess that I had selfish motives for choosing this month’s theme. Normally, I choose the themes a year in advance, but there are always a couple months that I leave undecided, allowing for a little wiggle room should the need to do something spontaneous arise. April was one of those months and I waited until the last minute to decide its fate. I actually had three themes in mind, none of which felt right, when I realized what our readers – I mean – what I needed. I needed to smile. I needed to laugh. I needed to be happy. Thus, the idea for “THE HAPPINESS ISSUE” was born. So, this issue is a result of a need to rediscover my happiness. The past year has been a dark-night-of-the-soul period for me. It began with the illness of my son and ended with the loss of my precious Daddy. Though I remained ever so aware of the fact that I am blessed, more so than I deserve to be, I lost my happiness. (Not my joy, when you have Jesus, you never lose your joy.) I had lost my ability to really laugh and feel the lightness of being happy. When I was a little girl, I thought happiness came from the Sears Catalog – literally. Back then, it came in the mail – a “Big Book” with the change of each season and at Christmas, the “Wish Book.” I spent unknown hours of my little life lying on my stomach, feet kicking back and forth with excitement at the turning of each page. I can still see in my mind’s eye some of the things that I thought would make me the happiest girl in the world – if only I could just pick up the phone and place my order. Over the years, birthdays and Christmases yielded quite a few of the happy-makers that I coveted. The pink furry Santa bedroom shoe boots, a white canopy bed and yellow ruffled bedspread are the things that I remember wanting most. The happiness those things brought into my life was matched with the despair of one thing that I desired most (but never got) – a swimming pool. With the spring and summer issue in hand, I would lock myself in my bedroom and stare at the pictures of the aboveground pools, dreaming of how happy I would be if only I had one. I wanted a swimming pool the way a dog wants a bone. In my naivety, I thought the people who had backyard swimming pools knew no despair; their days were spent in bathing suits, sipping lemonade and eating little sandwiches and melon balls. Summer after summer passed and before I knew it, the Sears Catalogs stopped coming and I grew up. The closest I ever came to the backyard swimming pool was a six-foot-round kiddie pool with turtles painted on it. I abandoned my dream of the pool only to replace it with a desire for a Chevrolet Monte Carlo. The year was 1981 when I got my drivers license and asked (well, relentlessly begged) my DaDa for a new car. I just knew that girls who drove a new Monte Carlo had to be the happiest girls in the world. “Neither acne or boys who dumped them or any other horrible thing that could happen to a teenage girl could take from the sheer joy those girls must feel,” I thought. Well, just as the pool was not to be, neither was the new Monte Carlo. I must have been out of my mind to think for one moment that my conservative, walked-200-miles-to-school, worked-for-cents-a-week, survivor-of-thedepression-era, precious DaDa was going to buy me a new car anyway. Instead, I got a 1976 Mazda that (to put it graciously) had been around the block a few times. Quite a few years have come and gone since the kiddie pool and the old Mazda. We bought a house which had an in-ground swimming pool and I’ve owned a couple new cars (though my taste has evolved from the Monte Carlo). It is true that time changes things – including my perception of happiness. Sure, the pool was fun the first season; however, the thrill began to wane and the hassle of vacuuming and cleaning it made me wonder if it was even worth it. The new-car smell faded and I realized what “they” say is true, “Once you drive it off the lot, it’s used.” Truthfully, the older I get, the more like my DaDa I get. He had this “thing” for old vehicles, which I contribute to my desire to own a vintage Jeep Cherokee or an old 4-Runner – you know, one with character, a little rust on fender, a dint or two here and there.

The point of my ramblings is that what makes you happy today will not necessarily make you happy tomorrow. Perhaps the trick is to just enjoy where you are at the moment and extract every little drop of happiness you can out of every moment God allows you to have breath in your body. I know that savoring the moment and your blessings as they come is important because, just as sure as the pollen is going to fall and the bees are going to buzz and the flowers will bloom in spring (Lord willing, of course), things are going to happen in this life that will steal our happiness. (Not your joy. Remember, that comes from God). I hate to be the bearer of bad news; but, whether it’s something as simple as a bad hair day or something as painfully devastating as losing someone you love, disappointment and pain are just around the corner. With that in mind, I say, “Let us be happy while we can.” Just as what makes us happy changes as we go through life, happiness is in the eye – or heart – of the beholder. In other words, the thing that barely makes one woman smile can be the source of sheer bliss for another. For that reason, I chose to examine the “happiness” of twelve women in our feature stories this month. The inspiring thing about this issue is that many of the stories are about the happiness that can be found in the midst of life’s trials – including a life-threatening illness. I have so much admiration for people who smile in the face of adversity and keep the faith in times when many ask, “Where is God?” As I write this letter, I’m reminded that tonight is the four-month anniversary of the night my DaDa was called home. Though the pain is still so fresh, I’m beginning to have more days when I think about the happy times we shared and not as many where I think about how he suffered the months before his passing. It’s those happy memories that help to heal the pain. Many times, I have dreamed about being with him when he was young and healthy and smiling that beautiful smile and letting go with the roaring laughter I remember so well. My DaDa had the warmest smile that stretched across his entire face and made his eyes light up. When he laughed (and he always laughed), he would throw his head back and open his mouth with a roar that came from deep within his belly, followed by stomping his feet and slapping his leg. It was poetry in motion to watch. I miss his exuberance for life so much. I have a long way to go, but I’m walking through the tunnel and I know there is light at the end. Remembering the happiness that my DaDa lived and expressed ignites a desire in me to be happy, as well. I know that is what he wants for me. It’s what he always wanted for me and was one of the last things he was able to express. My DaDa lived life simply, without all the bells and whistles. Nonetheless, he lived life to the fullest and he enjoyed life immensely. My DaDa was always happy and smiling and his happiness was not limited to having a good day or feeling well; he was happy because he chose to be and because he loved life and he loved people. So, thanks to everyone who shared their happiness and made “THE HAPPINESS ISSUE” possible. Thank you, our readers, for allowing me to be a little self-indulgent and use this wonderful magazine to humor (no pun intended) myself. Right now, we are in the midst of uncertain times. The economy and much of what we hear on the news and sometimes see in our own cities and neighborhoods is scary; however, we are abundantly blessed, aren’t we? We have our freedom and the hope of a brighter tomorrow. Happiness is lavishly sprinkled (and sometimes poured out) all around us. Times are uncertain, but we are given the gift of a personal relationship with the one true God, everlasting and unchanging. As we celebrate the Resurrection of our Risen Savior, let us hold fast to the truth that He is on His Throne and nothing – no, not one thing – will happen to us that He doesn’t have complete control over. We have every reason to rejoice! Oh, Happy Day! Happy Spring! Happy Easter! Happiness . . . it’s a woman thing!

Melia Flowers Berry

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3/26/09

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 15

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16

3/24/09

1:15 PM

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She mail Dear

The Sophisticated Ladies of the Red Hat Society of Lake City absolutely love She Magazine!

We read it cover-to-cover! Respectfully, Elizabeth Witherspoon, Lake City, SC The Sophisticated Ladies The Red Hat Society Chapter 77520 Dear Melia and

She,

I read in your March Editor’s Letter that you want to write a novel. Well, what you’re doing with She Magazine is way cooler than that! It’s like getting to write a book every month! You do such a great job and bring a lot of glory to the Lord through

She Magazine.

I know God uses

She Magazine

to minister to people and to touch many lives every month. It’s good to

She every month. May the Lord continue to bless you and She Magazine!

know that Florence gets a new issue of

Kenyon Powers Kiev, Ukraine Dear

She

I just finished reading March’s “Celebrate Your Age!” Issue and it was (as always) fantastic! I was amazed at all the women but particularly 96-year-old Jimmie Rogers. What a beautiful lady! I was so impressed that all the women were willing to share their ages. It made me ashamed of the times I’ve lied (just a bit) about my age. Well, I’m 56 and proud of it! Thank you, She Magazine and all the women who so boldly gave their true ages, for helping me to realize that I’m proud of my age, as well. I also want to share that I loved Dr. Anna Gibson’s story and I’m happy that, Magazine, we get to see and read about the everyday lives of many prothrough fessional people. It allows us to view them in an entirely different way, making them more personal and fun.

She

Thanks for another great issue! Beverly Hammonds, Darlington

Send an E-MAIL to [email protected] or MAIL us at 609 N. Main St., Marion, SC 29571

She,

I absolutely love She Magazine! I take it with me everywhere I go – doctors’ visits, traveling, vacationing and work. I pick up extra copies for my sister and mother who live in North Carolina. They still can’t believe it’s free! We are so thankful for all the encouraging stories and the “Who’s That Girl?” feature. All the ads are very helpful, too. I never knew Florence had so many different services. Thanks again God bless you all!

and

Gina Chacon, Florence

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3/25/09

11:48 AM

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 17

Marie Michele Bridal and Formal Wear

photo by Fred Salley

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3/24/09

1:25 PM

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Puppies

WARM AND COLD CATS

BY MARTI MILLER

T

his question will serve to effectively separate the Baby Boomers from the i-Tuners, but, being a glutton for agepunishment, I feel compelled to ask it: Do you remember the Charles Schultz book, “Happiness Is a Warm Puppy”? It was first published in 1962 and has, like bell-bottoms and the peace sign, enjoyed a renewed popularity in recent years. It is filled to overflowing with cute little statements about Snoopy-style happiness.And while we’re on a nostalgia kick, remember the “Love is…” books? The cover art was a pair of naked, google-eyed cartoon characters (for the I-Tuners, “google” is not a search-engine reference, but a description of looks that say I love you so much I’m cross-eyed). Okay, never mind. Let’s stick with happiness. Happiness is a warm puppy. Seriously? Warm puppies can smell funny, and they tend to leave even warmer puddles. Happiness is a fluffy white cloud floating on a clear blue sky. Maybe, if you’re a poet or an artist or something. Happiness is a box of dark chocolates. Okay, now I could jump on that chuck wagon. Happiness is waking up in the morning and not finding any new wrinkles or dark circles under those google eyes. Oh – yes, yes, yes!!! Now we’re talking. And what, you might ask, is the point of all this “Happiness is…” stuff? Maybe the point is that happiness can only be defined in very personal terms? Mr.Webster says that happiness is a state of well-being or contentment. My dogs say (yes, they can talk – do not attempt to argue this point with me) that happiness is bits of food falling like manna from the heavens, known to humans as the kitchen counter or the dining room table. They also have identified happiness as the potential to receive new chew toys whenever a filled plastic grocery bag arrives on the premises. The cat, of course, describes happiness as a ridiculously pathetic human emotion. She will feign said emotion on the outside chance that it will get her an extra treat, and then will violently cough up a hairball on the rug in protest to stooping so low for just one measly crunch nugget. (I think she’s afraid she’ll lose her nasty badge if the cat police discover her showing any emotions other than mild to severe annoyance.) If you ask a hundred people for their definitions of happiness, you are likely to receive nearly as many different answers. Some may be similar, but most will be unique to personal preferences. The definition can be stretched in all kinds of directions to meet anyone’s purpose, really. Kind of depends on our life’s creed, doesn’t it?

If we follow a creed that says we can only be happy when we are working ourselves to near death in the pursuit of career gratification or recognition, then the next promotion or award or contract might define our happiness. If we follow the creed that says we are what we own, then the new sports car import or home with a view or smoochy little Gucci bag might kick up the happy meter for us. For the money-is-everything creed followers, we just know we will be happy when we have enough of it. Only, it’s never really enough, is it? Financial security is a bit of an oxymoron (like being a generous miser or a little bit pregnant?). Security can’t really be found in money alone, and finances are never truly secure, are they? Just glance at the headlines we’ve endured over the past few months and are likely to continue to see for quite a while to come. So, then, if the creed we follow pretty much defines how we find our happiness, maybe it’s time to check into the local creed clinic for a little tune-up. Maybe we need to re-align our goals a little bit, and check the dipstick for adequate happiness fluid. Perhaps it’s the creed engine that needs a complete overhaul before we drive ourselves right off the track. (And it’s definitely time to drop the automotive analogy, because I’ve completely used up my vast car-word repertoire.) What if we were to follow the creed that calls us simply to love God and love others? Interesting possibilities for “happiness” there, I suspect.When I was a child (yes, I can remember back that long ago and far away) attending Catholic school, I had to memorize the Apostles’ Creed. Much of it remains burned permanently in the brain cells, starting with: “I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth” and ending with: “and the life everlasting. Amen.” I learned the words so long ago, but didn’t really begin to follow them until much later. Simply put, I believed and received. A set of fundamental beliefs or guiding principles is important for a life journey. If we don’t have one, we’ll pretty much go anywhere looking for that elusive happiness thing. It has taken me a very long time to understand happiness – the definition has changed along the way so many times – and it still remains under construction. But the creed has become clearer: Love God. Love others. Happiness may or may not follow, but contentment and joy are hidden in my heart because the Word of God is written there. I stumble. I fall. But the trail remains lit from within. It’s a matter of standing back up, turning, and moving again in the right direction (usually on at least a daily basis). So, I guess Mr. Schultz was right. Happiness really is a warm puppy. It’s also puffy white clouds and a box of chocolates and no new wrinkles on some mornings. Happiness is food falling from tables into waiting canine mouths. It is getting the call from my sister-in-law with the news that her biopsy was negative and then laughing like hyenas about the newly prescribed medication that will surely cause her to grow chin and chest hair. Happiness is my sister’s grandson telling his mommy, after a day of great fun, that he could feel his heart laughing. Isn’t that amazing? Oh, the joys that are found in childhood.Too bad the cat will never know that kind of happy.The feline creed simply does not allow it. Whether we are Baby Boomers or i-Tuners, happiness can be such a fleeting thing. It is literally here today and gone tomorrow. But if we follow the creed that calls us in the same direction every day, it really doesn’t matter where happiness is found or how we define it. Serenity is the thing – whether happy or grumpy, laughing or crying, together or alone, there is contentment to be found by loving God and loving others. I guess even the cat is lovable. She’s just not very happy. Maybe it’s the warm puppy thing?

Marti Miller lives in Marion, SC and attempts to locate happy every day. Some days are happier than others. Just ask the cat.

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3/26/09

9:53 AM

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 19

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Board Certified Edward O'Dell, M.D. FACOG Medical Director

1273 Celebration Boulevard • Florence, SC • 843.669.2220 www.genesiscosmeticlasercenter.com

Board Certified Mary Daniels, L.R.C.- C.M.A. Medical Esthetician • Laser Instructor Holding a Master Certification in Laser Technology Certified Dermatician

We Are By Far The Most Comprehensive Laser Center Of Its Kind In The Pee Dee.

before

2:45 PM

Visit our website for a list of more extensive procedures.

after

3/25/09

Mary Daniels, L.R.C.- C.M.A. has the MOST EXPERIENCE IN FRAXEL® LASER TECHNOLOGY in the Pee Dee.

Genesis Cosmetic Laser Center is the only one in the state to offer the latest innovation of Fraxel: repair. With it’s CO2 Laser Resurfacing, Fraxel: repair allows you to see results after only 1 treatment.

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IN HIS OWN WORDS

A life-changing experience in February of 1996 was the catalyst – or start, if you will – of my true happiness. That’s when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Since then, I’ve learned that change brings about happiness. Through time, I realized that I had to change the way I thought, so I started developing a Positive Mental Attitude or PMA. I recognized that if I continued to think the way I had always thought, I would continue to get what I had always got. I realized that continuing to live the same way while expecting different results is a form of insanity. Some time ago, I met a fish with the most positive of PMAs. He was singing, “Don’t worry, be happy!” – and he was hanging high and dry on a wall! Boy, did he have a good outlook on life! Happiness is laughing at yourself even when no one else thinks you’re funny. It’s enjoying the opportunities to be a little silly and watching others laugh. (Most people who know me have seen that side of my personality. I love the challenge of joking with someone while trying to keep a straight face.) Happiness is overcoming a challenge and tasting victory afterwards. It’s a result of helping others succeed and watching their reactions. Happiness is the look all over my ten-month-old daughter’s face and body when she sees Daddy coming through the door at the end of the workday. It’s a day off from work. Happiness is knowing that it’s going to be okay. Of course, life will have its valleys of sorrow; but, because He lives, we can face tomorrow. (Recognize that line from a famous hymn?) Work, marriage and life in general can be stressful. Whether at work or at home, things will happen that seem to dampen our parade. My job is very stressful; so, at times, the jokes and laughter are the medicine my co-workers and I need. I extend grace, mercy and understanding to my wife in order to help keep a happy home. I try to always put her before myself. As we grow older and change, does our happiness have to change? Look at the world we live in. Yes, we have many things going on around us to turn our smile into a frown, but try this. Look at yourself in a mirror. Smile and then frown. Did the world around you change for better or worse? Smile again. Did something change from within? Laugh more at yourself, your mate, family members, co-workers and friends and, yes, it’s okay to cry when you need to. Remove the unrealistic expectations you have on yourself and others and just be you. There is only one place to find your true self-worth, your true image – the Cross at Calvary where the ground is level for everyone. Get out of your comfort zone and strive to serve others. When you do that, you take the focus off yourself and your own problems. Be a giver to those less fortunate. Remember what the fish was singing?

“Don’t worry, be happy!”

Michael Boggs Michael Lamar Boggs and his wife, Jaime, and their ten-month-old daughter, Kailee, live in Effingham, SC. He has another daughter, Jennifer, who lives in Cleveland, NC, and will be graduating from nursing school in May of 2009. Michael enjoys fresh and saltwater fishing, shrimping, boating, skiing and swimming. He has been employed with the FedEx Express Corporation for thirteen years and he’s currently a Route Driver for Marion County. He also owns a business working with a dynamic team out of Greenville, SC, named DEVMAR INTERNATIONAL.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 23

Are your Legs ready for Spring and Summer? Treat those unsightly Varicose and Spider Veins •Endovenous Laser Ablation (EVLT) •Sclerotherapy •Ultrasound Guided Medical Sclerotherapy

FREE CONSULTATION! Now available at

Members of the American Society for Laser Medicine & Surgery

Mary Beth Lewis, MD Board Certified Interventional Radiology & Vascular Specialist Florence Radiological Associates

1273 Celebration Boulevard • Florence • 8 4 3 . 6 6 9 . 2 2 2 0 www.genesiscosmeticlasercenter.com

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Apparel : 525 Made in America AG AKA Woman Alice & Trixie BCBG Citizens of Humanity Claude Brown Cynthia Steffe David Meister Eileen Fisher Hale Bob Hudson

Jenny Han Joe's Johnny Was Kay Unger Lilly Pulitzer Michael Michael Kors Milly Nanette Lepore Nicole Miller Orla Kiely Pink Tartan Susanna Monaco Three Dots Trina Turk Yoana Baraschi and more!

Spring is in full bloom... take your pick of something pretty!

Photos by Collin M. Smith

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Shoes : A. Marinelli Bernardo Cole Haan Costa Blanca Donald J. Pliner Frye Ginger Goff Jeffrey Campbell Lilly Pulitzer

Naughty Monkey Poetic License Sam Edelman Sesto Meucci Sofft Steven by Steve Madden Stuart Weitzman Toms Vaneli and more!

CYNTHIA ladies fine apparel and shoes

Shops of 7 Oaks • Hoffmeyer Road • Florence • Mon-Sat 10-6 843.665.7669 (apparel) • 843.661.7474 (shoes)

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McLeod Internist Encourages Men to Establish a Relationship with a Physician

by Dr. Michael Mitchell Florence Diagnostic Associates

Dr. Michael Mitchell

A

sk any man when his last doctor's visit was, and he probably cannot remember the date. He was most likely extremely ill. He may recall the discomfort he endured for days, and all the remedies he tried prior to going to his physician. He will surely remember with clarity the anxiety associated with the doctor's office visit, leaving after a "scary sounding" diagnosis and more than likely a prescription for a medication. Almost every female can recall her last doctor's appointment. It probably involved gynecologic screening. She entered into discussions involving such health-related issues as diet, exercise, and blood pressure. She and her doctor most likely discussed family-related issues, like the stress involved with raising children and running a household. Ultimately, there was dialogue and an exchange of information aimed at improving her overall health. Why do these visits seem so different? Well, there is the obvious; one is a "sick" visit, the other a routine check-up. Women, on average, see their physician(s) on a much more regular basis. A relationship is usually established during her late teenage years with a gynecologist. A routine of yearly invasive evaluations, procedures which would horrify most teenage males, are routinely accepted by young women.The very nature of these procedures results in a personal and strong doctor-patient relationship. I believe this is one fundamental reason why women are much more likely to seek medical care. A second reason for the perceived difference between the two office visits described above is a little more complicated. A majority of a female's doctor visit involves personal questions which are more intimate. A relaxed environment in which a woman feels less embarrassed by medical discourse develops.This leads to better communication and an exchange of information. Men, however, are often not comfortable sharing personal information. Men are usually driven to see the doctor by illness. We know something is wrong with us, and we are rewarded with a "diagnosis of illness." We want to get out of this doctor's office, preferably with a non-painful remedy to our current ailment. The sooner we leave, the less likely the doctor can find any other problems with us.We ask few questions, if any. We strongly prefer not to discuss personal issues. Our perceptions of medical care are different. Differences between the sexes have been a topic of conversation for years.The medical community is unlikely to alter a male's perspective as it pertains to routine physician check-ups. No one, however, would disagree with the need for stronger doctor to patient relationships among men. This type of relationship would foster more open and informative discussion instead of a doctor's office visit precipitated by illness. In closing, perhaps a strong doctor/patient relationship prior to illness would result in decreased male illness/morbidity. However, no medical studies to my knowledge have been attempted to evaluate this topic. In addition, an initiative to

encourage more men to take control of their health care needs has only recently begun in the United States. Data on these results may not be meaningful for years to come. Until then, I believe men will feel significantly better visiting a doctor with whom they feel comfortable. The difficulty lies in establishing this relationship. Do you have a relationship with a physician with whom you can discuss anything? Consider making this a part of your new year. Florence Diagnostic Associates includes: Drs. Conyers O'Bryan, Fripp Ducker, John Ward and Michael Mitchell.

Physical Exam Frequency All adults should visit their healthcare provider from time to time, even if they are healthy, according to the U.S. National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health.The purpose of these visits is to: Screen for diseases Assess risk of future medical problems Encourage a healthy lifestyle Update vaccinations Maintain a relationship with a doctor in case of an illness In addition, there are specific times when you should see your healthcare provider. Age-specific guidelines for men are as follows:

Age 20-50 Have your blood pressure checked every 2 years. Men over age 34 should have their cholesterol levels checked every 5 years. Immunizations - After age 19, you should have a tetanus-diphtheria and acellular pertussis (TdAP) vaccine as well as a tetanus-diphtheria booster every 10 years. Men should do a monthly testicular self-exam up until age 40.

Age 50 and above Have your blood pressure checked every 2 years. Men over age 34 should have their cholesterol levels checked every 5 years. Colon cancer screening - People between the ages of 50 and 80 should be screened for colorectal cancer. African-Americans need to start this screening at age 45. Prostate exam - Most men age 50 or older should discuss screening for prostate cancer with their healthcare provider. African-American men and those with a family history of prostate cancer should start at age 45. Immunizations - You should receive a flu vaccine every year after age 50. Ask your doctor if you should get a vaccine to reduce your risk of pneumonia. To schedule an appointment with Dr. Mitchell, please call Florence Diagnostic Associates, a member of McLeod Physician Associates, at 843-662-1502.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 27

Spring Sale

INVENTORY REDUCTION SALE!

50%OFF SELECTED FABRICS! WE ONLY LOOK EXPENSIVE!

Buy 1 Get 1 30% off

1210 Cashua Dr. Suite 2 (across from Del Mae School)

Florence, SC • 843-661-7108

10,000 sq. ft. of fabric at

M-F 10-5:30 • Sat. 10-3

AMAZING PRICES for only

www.cottontailsboutique.com

Cottontails Children’s Boutique

902 Second Loop Florence, SC 843.413.3666

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Something to smile about.... Dear

She,

I am a faithful reader and love everything about SheMagazine, especially “Beauty Buzz.” I’ve learned a lot from the recent issues and, now, I have a question of my own for you to consider. I’ve been using an at-home teeth whitening system that has helped some, but I’m not getting the results I’ve seen in some people. I would like to know how professional whitening works because I’m considering going that route. I know several of your advertisers offer this. I would like to be educated before making a decision. Thank you,

Connie Richardson, Hartsville

Teeth Whitening Q&A with Dr. Richard L. Nash, DDS: Many people find teeth whitening to be the perfect way to improve their appearance. The side effects of teeth whitening are minimal and the procedure can even be used for tetracycline staining. Teeth bleaching can also be a great alternative to the cost of higher-priced cosmetic procedures. Read on to view common questions Dr. Nash’s patients ask about teeth whitening and find out how you can benefit from the procedure.

Is teeth whitening safe? Teeth whitening is a very safe procedure that simply involves using a peroxide-based solution and/or a special light to remove stains and discoloration. In some forms, the process can be accomplished in as little as an hour.

Will teeth whitening affect my previous dental work? Teeth whitening is a non-invasive procedure that is safe for patients who have had previous dental work. Dr. Nash will examine your existing dental work and oral hygiene before beginning the teeth whitening procedure. If there are signs that previous dental work has become weakened and/or there is new decay, Dr. Nash will probably suggest repairs before continuing with the teeth whitening procedure.

Does teeth whitening hurt? The teeth whitening procedure is not painful; however, some patients may experience minor sensitivity around the gum line after the procedure has taken place. Patients who prefer the take-home teeth bleaching kits may request that their dentist provide them with a milder concentration of the peroxide-based gel used. Dr. Nash recommends that his patients be on a special toothpaste regimen for two weeks before any bleaching to cut down on possible sensitivity.

What kind of results can I expect? Depending on the teeth whitening method used, many of Dr. Nash’s patients see results that are up to ten shades whiter. For immediate results, in-office laser teeth whitening is the preferred treatment. However, with stronger peroxide gel solutions on the market, at-home results can also be dramatic with continued use. At-home bleaching kits are also convenient for touch-ups whenever they are necessary.

What if I have tetracycline staining? Many patients have been able to dramatically reduce tetracycline staining with professional teeth whitening. Depending on the severity of the discoloration, some patients schedule multiple teeth whitening sessions or use a combination of methods to achieve the desired change. Your dentist will recommend the teeth whitening technique that will work best to combat tetracycline staining.

What are the side effects of teeth whitening? The side effects of teeth whitening are very minimal and vary by individual. If you have

sensitive teeth or gums,defective restorations or severely receding gums, you should consult with your dentist before you begin any teeth whitening procedure. Many of Dr. Nash’s patients who have sensitive teeth still benefit from treatment as long as they use a milder version of the peroxide-whitening formula. Patients who are allergic to peroxide should not consider traditional teeth whitening methods.

Is there a teeth whitening system for sensitive teeth? Teeth whitening for people with sensitive teeth is still an option. Dr. Nash recommends a milder version of the whitening gel if the patient chooses the take-home method. Many patients who have issues with sensitive teeth prefer the one-hour, in-office teeth whitening method as it is much faster, produces immediate results and requires the bleaching gel to stay on for a much shorter period of time. Ask your dentist which method of teeth whitening is best for you.

Is teeth whitening permanent? Teeth whitening can produce dramatic results; however, it is important to keep in mind that daily oral hygiene is an important part of maintaining teeth whitening results. Cigarette smoking, coffee and tea will still stain the teeth after whitening. If this happens, an occasional touch-up with a take-home teeth whitening product should keep your teeth looking as good as they did following the professional teeth whitening procedure.

How much does teeth bleaching generally cost? The cost of teeth whitening depends on several factors. Identical teeth whitening procedures can vary in price depending on the area in which you live. As a guide for professional teeth whitening, you can probably count on spending between $250 and $500. Keep in mind that laser one-hour teeth whitening procedures such as Zoom!® will be closer to the higher end of this range than professional take-home trays. These can be as economical as $250. As with any service, Dr. Nash advises that individual results and the amount of time you can devote to treatment are important factors to consider. Patients who are affected by tetracycline staining can also expect to pay more for teeth whitening as repeated visits may be necessary to attain their desired results.

E-mail your beauty questions or suggestions for a topic that you would like to know more about to [email protected]. Include “Beauty Buzz” as the subject.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 29

Want to improve your Skin-tone? We’re leading the way-making skin look more beautiful!

Congratulations to KFA Company dancers, KELSEY CAGLE and KAITLYN RODGERS. They were selected from over 650 dancers, to perform their award winning tap duet “Year 3000” for the Call-Back Challenge at the IDC competition on March 14th.

To experience first hand what KFA is all about, please join us for our 2009 recitals at the Florence Civic Center on May 5th, 8th and 9th. Admission is free.

We offer comfortable and effective photofacials for the treatment of sun damage and unsightly veins. We can make visible improvements in your appearance.

Carolina Facial Plastic Surgery, P.A. Carla C. Graham, M.D., F.A.C.S. Celeste Young, Licensed Esthetician 492 WEST CHEVES ST. • FLORENCE • 665-0400

Don’t miss out on your chance to create performance memories to last a life time. During the months of April & May KFA will be taking PRE-REGISTRATION FOR THE ‘09 SUMMER AND ‘09/’10 DANCE YEAR.

B.A. in Dance, Member of DMA, SCDA, USAG, Fun and Fit

Owned and Directed by

Everyone who pre-registers before the end of May will receive a free KFA t-shirt. Hurry classes fill quickly!

Burnadene Yarborough Kelley

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LAKE CITY - OLANTA KINGSTREE - FLORENCE

Call 843-374-4532 or 843-629-0033 and reserve your spot today!

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C

B

A

D

E

A New Direction Long Paisley

C Floral & Tye-Dye Dress

Maxi Dress

by New Direction

BELK, FLORENCE

BELK, FLORENCE

B The Magic Skirt which can

D

be worn 12 different ways with white cami by Wish

HEYWARD & HANNA, FLORENCE

FLOSSIE MAE’S, HARTSVILLE

E Retro Floral Dress with

Tibi V Neck Silk Dress

Wood-Accent Neckline LULU’S, HARTSVILLE

Happy, Hippie, Fun & Flowy!

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 31

AUTHENTIC GREEK FOODS & PASTRIES

Thursday & Friday April 2nd & 3rd • 11 AM -8 PM Greek Chicken • Baklava • Mousaka • Dolmades Spanakopeta • and All Your Favorites

Transfiguration Greek Orthodox Church 2990 S. Cashua Dr. • 662-9134 Eat In • Take Out • Drive Thru Available

FlorenceGreekOrthodox.org

Our Customers Say It Best... “Everyone was very nice.”

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“We appreciate your professional attitude yet home town courtesy.”

lunch on the e m d re fe of en ev “They

day of purchase.”

“I was extremely satisfied with the service provided in all areas.”

YED O J N R.” Y E E L L M O EA UST C “I R A NG BEI “RACEWAY GOES “OUT OF THEIR WAY” TO MAKE YOU FEEL SPECIAL. KING OR QUEEN FOR A DAY!”

“The staff were very informative and professional.”

“Everyone was very pleasant and expressed their thanks for choosing Raceway.” 2639 W. Palmetto St. (Near BiLo) • Florence, SC • (843) 669-1466 • www.RacewayAutomotive.com

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Color Me

by Cookie Cawthon Happiness, according to the beloved Charles Schultz, is a warm puppy. For me, not so much. I’m not a dog person. The toddler favorites cassette (rockin’ out old school on the way to preschool) in my truck says that the more we get together, the happier we’ll be. Maybe, but I’m a proponent of moderate amounts of alone time. Alone time makes me sane, and sanity makes me happy. John Lennon wrote “Happiness Is a Warm Gun.” Really? I also ran across a Tibetan Buddhist music video on YouTube entitled “Happiness Is.” Maybe happiness is YouTube. I unearthed a gazillion happiness quotes – some were pretty fun, and I discovered The Get Happy Workbook on sale at www.thehappyguy.com for $12.87. I am not making that up. I’m feeling happier just browsing through the online happiness products. Yeah, and there’s also a free Happy Class I can take online. Note to self:There are some days I should sit down and enroll in the Happy Class – just being honest. The scholar in me encountered a December 2008 research study that found happiness is contagious; okay, now we’re getting somewhere. I buy that one. I really do. Note to self: Some days I could really stand to be in proximity to more happy folk. Then I stumbled upon the work of Todd Kashdan at George Mason University. The findings of his study were released just last week, and part of the headline read, “New research suggests key to happiness is gratitude…” I’m there. That, my friends, is true. Sara Ban Breathnach supports that notion when she says,“All you truly need is the awareness of all you have.” Gratitude. Happiness is gratitude. I think so. There are so many little things in my life that make me giddy happy. Things that make me feel full. Things that prompt me to smile when no one else is around. Things that bring sunshine to my soul. And I often disregard those things or allow them to be squashed by seriousness and stress. Boo me! Happiness for me, as exhausting as it sounds, is a perfectly cleaned house – makes me happy and tired – no trash in the wastebaskets, no laundry in the hampers. Clean makes me happy. John Mayer and Jack Johnson mellow my soul. A dangerously hot candlelit bath clears my brain. A full day on the beach with family and friends, where I am sandy and my skin sizzles under my cover-up, leaves me crispy and satisfied. The coconutty smell of suntan Tiny voices singing tickles my insides. SUNSHINE oil makes me happy. Exclamation marks makes me chipper. Open windows, correct change, and s’mores intoximake me happy!!! I cackle at the cate me. I love nice people, people who are real about how hard life can be, and peofunnies my girls think up, and I can’t ple who are hopeful in spite of the fact that life can be crazy hard. Deep stuff and debate thrill me; get enough sweet kisses from my colorful, precise words are delicious to me. Fancy smancy restaurants and hotels make me feel special; Campbell. I have cried with home makes me feel safe and warm. Greeting at church pumps me up and causes me to spontaneously erupt swollen momma pride at into whoops of excitement every now and then (as dorky as that sounds, it’s really true). The smell of books makes absolutely every dance, me glad. Sensing the presence of God humbles me in the most fantastic way. Laughter that leaves me gasping for church, school breath, doubled over with crossed legs is too fun. Order makes me buoyant, and big, show-all-your- teeth smiles enerperformance/ gize me. The adoration of my dude lifts me. recognition Happiness is gratitude. of my darling I do not need or want a thing that I do not already have, so my happiness is solely dependent on my openness to enjoy Carson’s life. the blessings to the last drop. So why don’t I always do that? Why don’t I live in that place? I am seriously questioning why it is Those that I often forfeit my own happiness. Why do I give it away so cheaply? It’s curious to me that one year ago I was much happier than things I “feel” now when almost nothing about my circumstances has changed. delight me. I am in the driver’s seat here. I am the culprit. I am guilty of taking myself way too seriously. Busyness and hurry deplete me. Stress unravels me, and guilt sucks me dry and leaves me dim. Tomorrow I will choose sunshine, and it will make a difference. I will give thanks and mean it. I will notice the things I normally overlook because it is not acceptable to miss the gifts of a new day. Fresh starts captivate me. Note to self: I will savor the minutes I am given in bare feet and giggles. I’ll roll the windows down in my truck, open the sunroof, blare Natasha Bedingfield’s “Happy,” and sing obnoxiously loud when it gets to the chorus: Got my dreams, got my life, got my love Got my dreams, got my life, got my love Got my friends, got the sunshine above. Got my friends, got the sunshine above. Why am I making this hard on myself Why am I making this hard on myself When there`s so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy? When there`s so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy? Wave if you roll up beside me at a stoplight. I’ll be the one colored a bright shade of happiness.

Cookie Cawthon is blessed to be wife to Chris, mother to Carson (6) and Campbell (3), Diet Pepsi addict, and crazy-excited greeter at NewSpring Church’s Florence campus.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 33

305 N. Main St. • Marion

843.423.2682 Mon-Fri 7:30am-6:00pm Sat 8:00am-1:00pm

Carolina Girls T-Shirts are Here!

Come check out our new selection of

Jewelry!

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SPECIALIZING IN: • Decorative Soaps • Katherine’s Collection

Visit us for all your pharmaceutical & gift needs!

• Handmade Jewelry from Pawley’s Island • ValGal Jewelry • Clemson & USC Items • Marion & Nichols Girls T-Shirts

Pace’s Pharmacy of Nichols 116 S. Main St. • Nichols

843.526.2171 Mon-Fri 8:30am-6:00pm Sat 8:30am-1:00pm

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First Charter Company Main St. • Marion, SC

843.423.1212

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Happiness is...

Asheley Kelley Hartsville “Happiness is when you finally realize that being yourself is okay, when you become content with the way you live your life. Happiness is when you are surrounded by people who truly love you!”

Kim McInville Florence “Happiness is appreciating all the blessings in your life, sitting by the beach, a good pedicure and a tall glass of sweet tea!”

Ashley Atkinson Marion “To me, happiness is only real when shared. It’s being able to be yourself and feeling comfortable in your own skin. Happiness is surrounding yourself with people who love you and, of course, happiness is in the eyes of my little boy.”

Shannon McGillivroy Florence “Happiness is a beautiful child, loving parents, a wonderful husband and great friends.”

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 35

Scala

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An Easter Basket

YâÄÄ by Paige Thomas

T

The time of year when some of us celebrate Easter and the arrival of spring is such a wonderful season. The sun gets a little warmer and families and children want to be outside and together more. Trees and grasses begin to show some green (if not in time to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, at least soon after so that the world around us looks like he painted it on his way out). Flowers begin to bloom and we seem to gain energy and want to work in our yards, do some much-needed spring cleaning or just relax and chill. It can be such a happy time of year. I have mentioned before that Easter is extra special for a lot of reasons. Its message of a new life offers us hope and a story that says there will be a better day. I think a lot of us need to know that – or perhaps be reminded. As we turned the corner into 2009, I looked back and remembered all the friends and people I knew who had upheavals and losses and other hardships the previous year. I wished for them a better day. As I think about that, I’m reminded of the happiness I felt as a child during this season. I wish life was as simple now. It was hard not to be happy with all the colors and candy and festivity. Most of us looked forward to these days. I especially loved the times when Easter fell around my birthday in late April because I would always have something special just for me – usually in the form of a stuffed bunny or a huge solid milk chocolate version. I also think about the numerous times I participated in an egg hunt. Do you remember the excitement and anticipation? Sometimes, I helped dye the eggs and made my own designs. Year after year, it never got old and the eggs always seemed to be beautiful, even if they weren’t perfect. Other times, I just joined in on the hunt. When I was really young, that meant finding as many eggs as I could. As I got older, we were allowed to do the hiding. Nonetheless, it was always fun. I never wanted to stop hunting until that last egg was discovered. (Yes, they always had to be counted just to make sure). As I thought about those days, I decided to try to regain some of that fun and happiness and go on an Easter egg hunt. I don’t mean a literal Easter egg hunt with eggs; I want to go about filling my Easter basket with all the things that bring happiness into our lives. I want to fill my basket with things that make us feel special and things that make us know that during this season, we all have a reason to be joyful. So, I close my eyes and wait. Then, ready, set, go. There are so many beautiful eggs; I don’t know which one to choose first! Blue and pink and speckled and my favorite color, yellow. Some of them are just resting on top of the grass. I know others have been hidden in secret places. I also know they all hold special treasures. The first one I saw and picked up was painted with sunflowers. I didn’t even look inside, as I felt like that one had been planted for me. I kept looking. In the hollow of a tree, I found one that, when I put my ear close to it, had the sounds of seagulls and the seashore. Oh, there are several of my friends and family that will like this one – not to mention me! I reached in and there was another. This time, however, I could hear music as I listened – all different kinds of music. I will save this one for a rainy or sad day. Music is my therapy. I tried one more time and pulled out one in which I could hear laughter – friends having fun, children playing, families enjoying being together. The Easter season is a wonderful time to treasure these things. As I thought about the past year, I wanted to find a few more. I wanted to find ones for friends and family that held the Paige Thomas lives in Florence with her husband, Joey. She has three grown sons and four stepchildren. She is a Creative Partner for Initials, Inc. and also works with the new Center for the Child at Francis Marion University.

memories of lost loved ones, with peace and comfort underneath. I hurried to look under a rock, determined to find the one that contains strength and wisdom and patience for those who have suffered job losses or maybe still have someone they love at war. I remembered that I used to love to hide eggs in the pine straw; they were always fun to dig for. If I can find some of those, I bet they’ll have some hope for those discouraged and hurting because of shattered dreams or illness. I find myself running so as not to miss any eggs. I stopped when I came to a stream. Do you think there could even be some some hidden in the water? I still sense the excitement and anticipation! I always hoped there were more to find and I wanted to make sure they were all found. Life can be just like that and just as it was when we were children, we can often feel like there is that one egg we want that is hidden or seems lost and maybe just out of our reach. We spend a lot of our energy and time looking and looking, but we just can’t seem to find it. Then, something within reminds us about the rest of the basket. Pick it up and take a look! Some of the things we love the most are still there! Mine holds sunflowers and the sounds of music and beaches. There is the laughter and joy of family and friends. I find memories and peace and comfort. I find hope. I really like the one that contains the strength and wisdom and patience. I wish I had found more of those. At the end of the hunt, the best part of all was sharing anything we had found – especially with those who may have found less. We can’t always choose the things in life that come our way and perhaps steal our happiness and joy, but we can take hold of the things that bring joy into our lives and savor them. Hunt and search until you fill your Easter basket with all those things and choose to share them with someone you love. Have a Happy and Blessed Easter as you give some of it away!

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Chic k Lit An Anderson native, Brooke and her pets have called Hartsville home for the past five years. Brooke is a Family Law Attorney with Smith,Watts & Associates and is a member of Wesley United Methodist Church. When not working, she is an avid reader who meets with her book club, Chatty Chapters, once a month.

What’s on Brooke Hunt’s Best-Seller List? Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

I

am a firm believer that there are certain works of literature that everyone should read at least once. Pride and Prejudice by Jane

Austen is on the top of this list. Enjoying a recent popularity surge, I must begrudgingly acknowledge that Hollywood does not do it justice. The simple fact is that most people shy away from P & P (as we Austenians refer to it) because of the flowery and, sometimes, difficult language. Do not let this stop you. Pride and Prejudice is the story of Elizabeth Bennet and her quest to successfully achieve the only goal women of her generation held – to get married and marry well. But, Lizzy is not your normal earlyNineteenth-Century proper English girl. No matter how dire her circumstances may seem and to the chagrin of her mother, she will only marry for love. While her friends and family are marrying for a myriad of reasons, Elizabeth remains steadfast in her convictions – only to

realize that no matter how smart you may think you are, you, in fact, are not. Elizabeth Bennet is a wonderfully written character that challenges societal norms and expectations but gives the impression she secretly hopes those expectations will play out in the happy ending we all hope for. While I do not know if a man in possession of a large fortune is truly in want of a wife,Austen makes me believe it is so. Although unlucky in love herself, Jane Austen was ever the romantic optimist and I think Pride and Prejudice, more than any other of her works, showcases that romanticism beautifully. If we take Austen’s advice and put aside our preconceived notions, we, too, can find true love and happiness in the most unexpected of places.

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What Brenda Dennis, owner of Maibe Sew Home Market Has to Say about Advertising in Magazine . . .

She

“

I have always been an avid reader of She Magazine and look forward to the next month’s issue after reading the current month. As a business owner, it is so important to reach individuals whose lives can be enriched by the products and services that the business offers. She Magazine provides that opportunity for Maibe Sew Home Market. After deciding to open Maibe Sew Home Market in 2007, I knew immediately that She Magazine would be the ideal publication to present my business to the Greater Pee Dee area. With the small retail bedding and window products, along with the custom designs segment, I understood that I must compete with the major retailers with big advertising bucks. She Magazine is the perfect way to provide a cost-effective avenue for small businesses to have a major impact. With each ad placed in She Magazine, the effect is almost immediate. It is wonderful to know that local businesses have an advertising medium that is not only reader friendly but advertising friendly, as well.

”

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 43

In Store Now! Children’s Easter Outfits!

April 18

Classy’s Boutique

10am - 5pm

Where Fashion Matters

Main St., Latta

Entertainment Student Art Show Crafts • Food • Plants Kid’s Games • Antique Dealers • Tour of Historic Buildings in Museum District

monogram services children’s clothing (3mos.-6yrs.) carolina girl tee shirts jewelry • handbags baby gift items • scarves personalized license tags & keychains

Latta High School JROTC will sponsor a 5k/10k run beginning at 9am on the 18th We will have the Beauty Pageant on APRIL 14 at 7 pm at the Dillon County Theater. For more information Contact:

Hepsy Parham

843-752-7914

WILDLIFE ACTION ADVENTURE CAMP is a week of outdoor experience to raise awareness about conservation of our natural resources, nurture appreciation of wildlife, & teach stewardship of the good earth. Each summer we invite children ages 6-16 to experience a variety of Adventure Camps at Fork Retch Wildlife Refuge & Resource Education Center in Mullins, SC.

For More Information Call 1-800-753-2264 or visit

www.wildlifeaction.com

24 Years Experience

314 N. Main St. • Marion • 843-617-3562 Mon-Sat 10-5 • Fri 10-5:30 (Parking Available in Rear)

Session 1: DAY CAMP June 8-12 $100 Day Camp is a great way for your children to experience a half day of adventure while improving their understanding of our natural environment. Session: 2, 3 & 4 OVERNIGHT CAMP (2) June 14-19 (3) June 28- July 3 (4) July 12-17, ea. $300 Overnight Camps provide a chance for each child to develop his or her skills & abilities by imparting such values as responsibility, integrity, pride, teamwork, & leadership while learning about conservation.

Session 5: OUTDOOR HERITAGE CAMP July 27-31 $150 Teaches outdoor skills such as hunting, trapping, fishing, canoeing, etc. They are a means of rediscovering and reliving our outdoor heritage. Hurry ...Space is Limited

ENJOY: FISHING • CANOEING • GUN SAFETY • ARCHERY • SWIMMING • NATURE APPRECIATION • CAMPING • & MUCH MORE

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Just Call S Me Happy!

everal generations ago, it was all the rage to give nicknames to people and completely ignore their given names at birth. This was great if you were bestowed a spiffy nickname, but was less than cool if you were stuck with a stinker. My granddad from West Virginia was one of the lucky ones. His nickname was “Happy.” I vividly remember my precious Nanny referring to him as “Happy” and it seemed as natural as the dust on my picture frames. I want to be someone who is referred to as “Happy”, but what in the world is it? I went straight to the source and surveyed some of my deepest –thinking girl friends to find out their perspective:

BY MELODIE GRIFFIN

Happiness is… • No chips in the polish a week after the pedicure! • When I find myself laughing with my friend so hard that the tears are flowing-knowing that what we are laughing at is so trivial that nobody else would think it’s even remotely funny! • When I finally smash that fly after I've chased him all over my kitchen with the fly swatter. • My best friend likes my new hair cut. • Sleeping as late as I want to. • Playing “beauty shop” with my little girl. • Dying Easter eggs. • The new car smell. • Getting an unexpected “no reason” card in the mail just when you needed a pick me up. • Getting a new friend request on my Facebook. • My husband says that happiness is being married to him! • That “aha moment” when you realize you just told your child something that your mother told you. • When I lay my head down at night knowing that everyone else in my house is already safe and sound and asleep. • Watching my children sleep…when they aren’t sick. • Plopping myself down in the first significant snow of the season to make a SNOW ANGEL! (from one of my Northern friends, no doubt) Having a warm cup of coffee sitting on my porch swing with my lover. • When my 4 year old is too busy to talk to you on the phone b/c he's having too much fun at mawmaw and pawpaw's! • When ALL the laundry is done (does this really happen?). • When the bathroom scales say what I want them to (again, does this really happen?). • The sound of children's laughter • Being with those you love to celebrate the little things. • The light in a child's eyes the first time they experience Disney. • The smell of sun, sand, ocean, suntan lotion. • 4 words... Mamaw -I Loves you!

The more I probed, the deeper their responses… • •

Happiness is a choice, not a state of mind. Good health, good fortune, and good friends to share those with (this was from a friend who is battling cancer right now). • Loving being in my own skin. • Being able to laugh at myself and not cry when I do something stupid. • When I am surrounded by kindness & encouragement. • When I can accomplish each day, one day at a time. • Knowing that the same God who feeds the birds cares even more about me. • When all is quiet in the wee morning hours and I hear God's gentle voice whispering, "All is well my child. I am here and you ARE worthy.” • When I feel God’s presence so strongly in the middle of praising and worshipping Him, that I want to stay there forever. • Knowing and doing God's will in my life. • Happiness is found in doing for others. The Bible says that it is greater to give than to receive. (Melodie’s side note: One of my favorite verses about giving to others is found in Proverbs 11:25, “A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” We don’t GIVE to GET, but when we give, we get!) My wise Daddy has always taught me that happiness, albeit a wonderful God-given emotion, is dependent on “happenings”, while joy is that deep-seated peace that can only come from a relationship with God Himself. You know, while doing the research for this article, I was reminded that happiness comes in many forms and is around us all the time - it’s just our job to look for it! I don’t want to be like the French novelist, Collette, who said, “What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner.” I want to realize it now. I want to breathe deeply, be exceedingly alert, laugh habitually, and love large. I want to take great risks when it comes to forgiving those who have hurt me and to believe the best about those I love. I want to give generously, outrageously and unrestrainedly to those who deserve it and to those who do not.That would be a start, anyway. Let me do even one-fourth of that list and I can be the namesake of my precious Papaw, otherwise known as “Happy.”

Melodie Griffin is a native of the Pee Dee who now lives in the Midlands of SC. She is a writer, inspirational speaker and musician who looks for “happy” every chance she gets.

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W

ith two dogs and a kitty, eleven-year-old Emily loves animals. The dogs are Neddy (Black Lab) and Normal (Chocolate Lab). When Neddy had puppies last year, Emily and her brother, Caleb, named all the puppies even before they were given away. We decided to keep the only solid brown puppy and named him Normal. Our family cat of eighteen years, Noodle, died last October. We loved her very much and were very sad. Our new kitty, Natty, is bringing us much joy. Most people think Emily is quiet and shy. Oh, how wrong they are! While she is shy at first, when she gets to know people, they quickly realize she is full of creative ideas and strong emotions that you can see and hear. Emily is very confident in what she likes and she doesn’t always feel like she has to wear or do what everybody else is wearing or doing. She likes to just be herself and she’s always very determined to do the right thing. I’m so proud of her for this. An honor roll student in the sixth grade at Johnakin Middle School, Emily attends tumbling classes in Florence with Action Cheer and Tumble and has attended their summer cheerleading camp for the past five years. She is very excited about all that she has learned at tumbling and plans to try out for cheerleading at Johnakin. She attends Marion Baptist Church where she is a Bible Drill participant, a member of GAs (Girls in Action) and has been attending GA Camp for the past five years. She loves going to Camp Lavida. She’s really looking forward to joining the Youth Group at church next year. Emily’s favorite Bible verse is Matthew 21:22, “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” Being outdoors, riding her bike or scooter and just playing in the woods are a few of her favorite things to do. She can be somewhat of a tomboy but also a real girlygirl. Polishing her nails is a favorite activity; she has about fifty different bottles of polish. She also looks forward to wearing makeup (I tell her not yet because her face and skin are much too beautiful to cover up with makeup). Like her grandmother, who loves all those girly-girl things, as well, Emily finds things that are different and sparkly irresistible.

She collects stickers and puts them all in a book. She likes to look for stickers that mean something to her or remind her of the things she likes or does or places she’s been. Emily also loves watching movies. She especially likes watching with her best friend and next door neighbor, Lexi Ann Drose. After spending time painting and decorating Lexi’s playhouse, it’s the perfect place to watch movies and spend time together. Very creative, she enjoys drawing, designing and making things. She and Kerri Vyge, her very best friend, love to draw and design clothes, write short skits and perform them. They always design their costumes and dress for the performance. The Vyges and we have enjoyed (and have been very impressed) with their creativity and enthusiasm to perform their work. Emily and Kerri dream of being fashion designers when they grow up. They have already decided on a name for their business, EmKerza (pronounced, em-ker-zay). Quite catchy, don’t you think. From the time I found out I was pregnant with Emily, I just knew she was a girl. Her father and I chose not to find out what we were having, but I just knew. I had always prayed that God would give me a boy and a girl and He had already given me a son. Then, He gave me this beautiful and special little girl. I love seeing Emily love life. She gets excited and appreciates the beauty of the amazing things and opportunities God has given her like the rhythm of a song, the blooming of flowers, the giggly chats with friends, being Daddy’s little girl, having a grandma who laughs at everything (which in turn makes her laugh), having Gram E. Jo who makes incredible brownies (which she loves), seeing new places and then wanting to see more, dancing and thrilled to try on new clothes (but not a bit bothered to wear hand-me-downs). I love watching Emily just being

herself, wonderfully and beautifully made.

This month’s “Wee She” was submitted by Emily’s mother, Lisa Capps. If you would like to nominate a little girl for “Wee She,” send an e-mail to [email protected] with “Wee She” Nomination as the subject..

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Happiness Redefined

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o me, there are very few moments in life that I would classify as being purely happy. Moving into my first apartment (as trashy as it was), my marriage proposal, my wedding and the birth of my beautiful daughter are just a few that I would classify as happy. I don’t think that my belief means I’m dissatisfied with life; I just think it means that I have high standards. A moment has to be truly outstanding in order for me to classify it as “happy.” Personally, I think we spend entirely too much time seeking happiness in this country. That’s one reason why we’re all so overextended. We invest entirely too much time and money in pleasure-seeking endeavors, i.e. happiness. We have ourselves in way over our heads most of the time. Consider the number of activities you’re involved in during an average week. I mean all the activities – church, social, athletic, etc. Don’t leave out anything. In fact, you may want to take a few minutes and jot them down on a sheet of paper. It may surprise you how many items there are. Now, add all the activities that you have to ferry the kids to and from. Next, add all the times that your spouse (if you are married) is involved in some activity outside the home, making you a single parent for a period of time. Add in eight hours per night for sleep, time to work (if you work outside the

by Allie Atkinson

home or inside), time for housekeeping, meal preparation, etc. The time that is unaccounted for is your freetime. Do you have any? I certainly don’t have much and I try to be very mindful of my time. We wonder why we’re feeling overburdened and stressed. Do you ever have time to merely sit and be quiet – to “be still and know that He is God” (Psalm 46:10)? How can we possibly expect to hear from God when we are going ninety-to-nothing all day, every day, and we pray in the last few seconds before our body shuts down at night (that is, if we’re able to get through our prayers before we pass out)? How strapped are we financially? How much have we overindulged ourselves and our families in this country to attempt to make up for all the time we spend invested in other things rather than our families? I teach teenagers and I see it every day. Mama and Daddy don’t have the time to spend with their children so they spend money on them in order to assuage their guilt and to pacify the children. It’s sad. Did we really have children just so we could buy them things? I know that we are to invest in our children, but I don’t think that we are to invest in them as though they are banks. They don’t save what we give them, anyway; they buy new “toys” and “gadgets.” They buy gas to put in the cars that we gave them and then they drive away

from us and we have even less time with them. They grow up so quickly. Do we really want to drive them away that much faster by not spending time with them while we can? So, what’s the secret to happiness? Well, I think that we begin by redefining our perception of happiness. At the beginning of this, I stated that I am very seldom “happy” – and that is true. I am, however, very satisfied with life on a day-to-day basis. I’m content. That is what I strive for – not delirious joy, but peace and contentment. Paul encouraged us to do the same thing in Philippians 4:11-13. Paul states,“I have learned to be satisfied (content) with the things I have and with everything that happens. I know how to live when I am poor and I know how to live when I have plenty. I have learned the secret of being happy at any time, in everything that happens, when I have enough to eat and when I go hungry, when I have more than I need and when I do not have enough. I can do all things through Christ because He gives me strength.” So, I challenge you to strive for contentment as Paul knew it – especially given the current financial situation of our country. We all need to learn to be happy with less and now is the perfect time to do it. Let’s all try paring back our activities and our financial obligations. Let’s focus on one another and ourselves and

Allie Atkinson is a French teacher at Marion High School. She lives in Marion with her husband, Philip, and daughter, Abbie.

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learn to be content with less – happy, even.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 49

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WOMEN AT WORK

BUNCHIE ROBERTS Child Development Director for the Gail and Terry Richardson Center for the Child

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have worked for Francis Marion University for the past two years. I am the Child Development Director for the Gail and Terry Richardson Center for the Child (RCC) that opened its doors to 59 children in August 2008. I was given the privilege in July 2007 to begin planning for the opening of the child development wing of the center. The Center is located at 524 Francis Marion Road beside the Pee Dee Education Center. It serves children from age sixweeks through age four. RCC is considered a laboratory school and has classrooms for FMU students who are majoring in Early Childhood or Psychology. We presently have four lead teachers with four-year degrees in each of the children’s rooms, as well as highly qualified assistants. The Center provides work-study students the opportunity to gain hands-on experience working with young children. Forty percent of families that we serve at the center are made up of professors, students and staff from Francis Marion University. The remaining sixty percent come from the Pee Dee Community. RCC accepts Advocates for Better Care (ABC) vouchers and has the capacity to serve CDEPP families (a PK4 Program) who receive scholarships from The Florence First Steps Office. The Center will add a two-year-old room next year. We are working hard to become a model center for the Pee Dee Area. I oversee the day-to-day operation of the child development wing. One of my main responsibilities is to make sure all requirements for childcare licensing are met. It’s hard to put into words what a day looks like at the Center because every day brings something new and different. Gloria Ard, my Administrative Associate, and I take turns opening and closing the Center. Our day begins at 7:00 A.M. with a range of emotions from children. Some run in smiling and love to get a hug before going to their rooms. Others are more timid and require some coaxing to make it down the hall to their rooms. Early mornings may be my favorite part of the day. Visiting the classrooms gives me a chance to get to know the children. Every child – from the toddlers and up – attempt to call me by name, “Miss Bunchie.” How could you not be happy in a beautiful new childcare facility with adorable children who are fascinated with life? The most challenging thing about my work is the fact that the childcare business isn’t always a perfect world. There are days when the children are sick, which makes many of our new young teachers sick. With this, I am faced with restaffing for the day. One of the advantages to being on campus is the ability to call in our students at the last minute. The most rewarding thing about my work is being in and out of the classrooms, seeing young children

excited over finding the right shape for the puzzle, watching our infants grow and develop their unique personalities and talking with parents who care so deeply about their children’s development. What fun! Being part of a new adventure has always excited me. Having parents that lived through the depression influenced my life greatly. In most of my jobs, I have had the good fortune to start something new in education. In 1984 when The Education Improvement Act was passed, I was the first teacher in my district to start a PK-4 Program. I was asked to sit on a panel of educators interviewed on ETV by Charlie Williams, SC Superintendent of Education. That was a big deal to me! In 1989, I wrote a Target 2000 Parenting Grant and received funding to begin a new program for parents in poverty. Being a part of the planning process in opening The Gail and Terry Richardson Center for the Child may be my grand finale. As for my goals for the future, somewhere down the road is a flower bed that keeps whispering,“Miss Bunchie,” grandchildren who call and ask when Nana is coming to “play” with them and a husband who is in shock that I actually cooked a meal. But, that’s all down the road. For now, I’m enjoying my morning commute to Florence, watching the sun rise and saying a quick prayer that the many decisions I make each day are good decisions and then selfishly asking that I find happiness either in someone who passes my way or in something that is done during the course of the day. Do I always make good decisions? No! That’s hard! Do I always find something to make me happy? Yes – and that’s easy! First and foremost, when I think about what makes me happy, I think about family. Family is extremely important to me and I have been blessed beyond measure. My father turns 96 this July and resides at the Methodist Manor. Furthermore, if you spend much time with me, the conversation will turn to bragging about each one of our children. My husband and I live in an old home built in 1930 that, at one time, had a beautifully-landscaped yard. Like my mother (who would have been considered a “Master Gardener” and who had a much greener thumb than I), I love to spend time outdoors digging in the dirt, planting flowers and attempting to restore the beauty that I imagine was once in my yard. Again, when I think about what makes me happy, I think of the outdoors and the beauty of God’s world. Happiness is a conscious choice you make each and every day. Our class song my senior year in high school was, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” (Now, most of you know how old I am.) I’ve had a roller coaster ride through life with many ups and downs. During the rides down, I’ve tried to learn something from the experience. During the rides up, I’ve counted my blessings. What an honor to be asked to share my story in She Magazine! What an honor to be recognized by one of my parents who, out of the blue, certainly made my day – and made me happy!

Bunchie Roberts and her husband of five years, Dennis, live in Bishopville. Together, they have a “Brady Bunch” family. She has two daughters and six-year-old twin granddaughters. Dennis has a son and daughter-in-law and two daughters.

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Alternative Happiness by Sandra Honaker f we start from the premise that happiness is not joy—joy is internal but happiness is external—then I can say that the one thing that really makes me happy is my music. I’m nearly always plugged in to my I-pod—when I run, when I grocery shop, when I study, and right now, when I’m writing. The right song can turn a hum-drum morning into a happy start to the day, a slow jog into a fast run, and a dreary task into a pleasant chore. When I’m bone tired at the end of a long day but still have to wash dishes and turn over another load of laundry before I can crawl into bed, I can usually motivate myself with some excellent tune-age from my I-pod. What makes me different from most of my friends is the type of music I define as excellent. Most of my friends listen either to music that was popular during their youth or softer pop and country or Christian music. There is no ready label for my music. According to my I-pod, my two biggest genres are alternative and alternative/punk, so I guess “alternative” is the best description. When someone asks me to define what I mean, besides giving a list of artists, I’ll simply say, “if both the guitars and the singers scream, I’m probably going to like it.” It’s hard to explain what a good scream does for me, but it’s the same sensation as pulling out a painful splinter or ripping off a bandaid that’s pulling too tightly on my skin—there’s a release of energy, followed by a sigh. Screaming on key is harder than it seems, and some of the best at it show vocal power that is truly impressive, although I only like the bands that scream for punctuation and not for the whole song. Billie Joe Armstrong utters a killer scream right in the middle of “Letterbomb,” and Chester Bennington’s minutes long wail in the middle of Linkin Park’s “Given Up” is no studio trick—I saw him perform it live in Projekt Revolution last year, and he was jumping off a five foot high platform at the same time, arching his back in midair and landing with grace. Right this very minute I’m listening to the Used’s “The Bird and the Worm,” and my favorite sequence is the screaming chant in the middle, usually cut from the airways to make the song fit the 3 minute parameter. I even have a playlist entitled “Screamers,” and it includes songs by AFI, Hawthorne Heights, Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, My Chemical Romance, and Rage Against the Machine. When I listen to this playlist I can feel my blood pressure dropping with each scream. I have to admit that there are some songs I run to or work out to whose tempo is the primary motivator. I’m not really sure I’ve figured out the Gorillaz song “Clint Eastwood,” except that it doesn’t have anything to do with Clint Eastwood, but the laid-back beat is perfect for lifting weights, as is any song by Rage Against the Machine. Although the lyrics of the TingTings “That’s Not My Name” aren’t exactly high poetry, the beat always helps me pick up my pace when I’m running. My Chemical Romance’s cover of Bob Dylan’s “Desolation Row” is better than the original only because MCR’s driving beat is great for tempo runs. Mostly, though, it’s the words of the songs that inspire me, sometimes by reminding me of who I used to be, and sometimes by inspiring me to fight the good fight, and sometimes just by letting me know I’m not the only one who feels the way I do. Although his name usually makes most parents flinch, I actually like a lot of Marilyn Manson’s songs. He sings for the those people who know they will never be one of the “Beautiful People,” the people who know that in other people’s eyes they will be “forever dirt,” as he sings in “The Nobodies.” Weezer transforms the disenfranchised and hopelessly geeky into heroes in songs like “Beverly Hills” and “Pork and Beans,” which has the refrain, “I ain’t gonna wear the clothes that you like, I’m fine and dandy with the me inside.” There is no experience to make an outsider feel right at home than singing along with Green Day’s “Minority,” especially with a few thousand fellow fans. If my music makes me happy, then seeing it performed live is just this short of heaven on earth. My best experiences last year were concerts: MCR’s Black Parade tour, Pearl Jam and Kings of Leon’s appearance at the Colonial Center, and Projekt Revolution, which was nine hours of boiling hot rock and roll in the boiling hot Verizon Wireless Ampitheatre. My girls and I are excited that

I

we’ve already got tickets to Fall Out Boy on the 24th of this month, and I’m so stoked that Green Day is releasing a new album and tour in May that I can hardly sleep at night. The problem with a lot of the music that I listen to, but not all of it, is that it is not expressly Christian music. I know a lot of people who listen to nothing else but Christian music. Most of the bands I listen to are struggling with their beliefs or are, in some cases, openly hostile to God. I really like a band called Muse, for example, but they are professed atheists. Still, since I listen from my own standpoint as a Christian, when I hear the fear expressed in their song “Thoughts of a Dying Atheist,” I can be happy that I no longer have to be afraid. When Weezer sings in “Troublemaker” that they’ll grow up one day “hoping there’s a god,” I can assert I know there is one. And when I hear the anger at God expressed in Manson’s “Fight Song,” I can remember when I used to feel that way and am so happy now that I no longer do. In fact, songs like that serve as a strong reminder that I never want to crawl back into that pit of despair again. So maybe, when I think about it, I’m not that different from my friends, but instead of listening to the songs I danced to in my youth, I’m listening to the songs that remind me of my mistakes as a youth. Still, it is the music that makes me happy, so that’s what I’ll be listening to for a while. At least until I find my joy.

Sandra Honaker lives in Marion with her husband Pat and her daughters Morgan and Alex.

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MY FAMILY:

Parents, Myra and Wayne Coleman of Johnsonville, SC;

FAVORITE SUBJECT: English – I love to write

Brother, Chris, and his wife, Stacy; Brother, Brooks; Niece, Caroline;Two nephews, Carson and Mason;Two dogs, Carolina (Golden Retriever) and Tucker (Yorkie)

FURTHER EDUCATION PLANS: I plan to further my education and get a master’s degree, but I haven’t decided where yet.

HIGH SCHOOL: Graduated from Johnsonville High School in 2005 WORK: Part-time Certified Pharmacy Technician Specialist at CVS Pharmacy COLLEGE: Francis Marion University, Florence, SC ATTRACTION: I decided to go to FMU because I wanted to commute and because I knew they had a great program for my major, Elementary Education.

MAJOR: Now, my major is Elementary Education. When I first started college, however, I wanted to go to nursing school. After taking some time off, I realized that my heart wasn’t in nursing and I really wanted to teach.

AS A COLLEGE STUDENT, I HAVE LEARNED . . . to be more independent, more responsible and manage my time more effectively.

WHEN I’M NOT STUDYING OR WORKING . . . I like to spend time with my family and friends. I also like being outdoors and playing with my dogs, Carolina and Tucker.

PLANS FOR EASTER: I plan on spending Easter at church and with my family.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 55

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Happiness is…

An Allergy-Free Spring H

by Dr. David Stone

ow that the seemingly record-breaking consecutive days of gray skies have cleared and the temperature is warming into the seventies, we are finally getting some signs that spring is officially here. The grass is getting greener, the trees are budding, flowers are beginning to bloom, and everywhere there is the indication that nature is awakening from its winter hibernation. For many people, the spring re-birth signals days of short sleeves, short pants, sunglasses, and enjoying outdoor activities with family and friends. For others, though, the flourishing vegetation brings with it the dreaded sneezing, itchy eyes and nose, runny nose, and stuffiness, characteristic of seasonal allergic rhinoconjunctivitis, also known as hay fever (even though it does not cause an actual fever). Noted British philosopher, Bertrand Russell, once said, “The happiness that is generally satisfying is accompanied by the fullest exercise of our faculties and the fullest realization of the world in which we live.” For the approximately 40 million people who suffer from allergic rhinoconjunctivitis, though, achieving this type of happiness might be difficult while battling their sneezes, sniffles, and drips. Studies have shown that these symptoms cause approximately twenty percent of Americans a significant reduction in their vitality, enjoyment of day-to-day activities, and in the perception of their over-all health. Surveys examining the impact of allergic rhinoconjunctivitis on healthrelated quality-of-life (or happiness, if you will) have shown that allergy symptoms affect patients of all ages. Adults commonly list repeated nose-blowing, altered sleep patterns (frequently due to sneezing or nasal stuffiness), and decreased concentration as the symptoms having the biggest impact on their lives.These symptoms have a significant impact on mood; ability to think and concentrate; and work productivity. The effect, however, does vary, since some people are impaired by only a few symptoms, while others have little impairment with similar or more severe symptoms. In children, allergies may lessen their enjoyment of outdoor sports activities and result in frustration and embarrassment in their social interactions. Poor sleep may result in irritability and reduction in one’s ability to concentrate in school. Severe allergies may also result in school absences due to other co-existing conditions such as asthma, sinus infections and ear infections. Some of these absences may even be unnecessary or preventable, since allergy symptoms are easily confused with a contagious respiratory illness. Despite all that, there is hope for allergy sufferers who have not found relief from the trials and tribulations of their “hay fever.” To quote one of my mentors, Dr. Chet Stafford at the Medical College of Georgia, treatment of allergies can be summed up in “The Three A’s of Allergy Treatment.” The first A is “avoidance,” next is “antiallergic medications,” and the third is “allergen immunotherapy (allergy shots).” Avoidance of pollens in South Carolina is incredibly difficult without either living in a bubble

or walking around in a space suit—equally impractical for folks in this area—but there are some things that may offer at least some reduction in pollen exposure. First, keep windows and doors closed during your allergy season and use your central air-conditioning system to act as a filter.You may also consider a HEPA filter to remove pollens and molds from your indoor environment. Avoid outdoor activities and exercise between 5 a.m. and 10 a.m., which are the times when the air is most saturated with pollen. Avoid hanging clothing out to dry, since pollen can cling to towels and sheets. Also, wear a dust mask when mowing the lawn or doing other yard work, and remember to take appropriate medications beforehand to help lessen symptoms. Anti-allergic medications include several classes of prescription, and now over-the-counter, medications. These include sedating antihistamines such as Benadryl and Chlorpheniramine and non-sedating antihistamines, such as Zyrtec, Claritin, Allegra, and Xyzal. In addition to those medications, we also have several different types of nasal sprays to provide relief. These include antihistamine nose sprays such as Patanase and Astelin, or intranasal steroid sprays such as Flonase, Nasonex, and Nasacort.These sprays are non-addictive, and are generally safe for long-term use. Singulair is a non-steroid anti-inflammatory medicine that can be used to treat both asthma and allergies, since it blocks a specific inflammatory chemical common to both conditions. It should also be noted that eye symptoms sometimes do not respond to by-mouth medications, and a prescription eye drop such as Pataday, Patanol, or Elestat, might be necessary for better control. If you have tried these things and are still in misery, or if you feel like a “walking pharmacy” because of the number of medications you have to take every day, allergen immunotherapy (or allergy desensitization shots) is a good weapon for attacking the allergies where they start. These immunizations are tailored to the specific substances to which individual patients are allergic and promote changes in the immune system that build a tolerance to the pollens. Shots are a good option for patients who have symptoms in more than one pollen season, have side effects to numerous medications, or want to reduce the amount of medicines they take. For those whose symptoms aren’t controlled on multiple medications, allergy shots can help bring those symptoms back under control. In fact, in some quality-of-life studies, most patients on allergy shots noticed improvement in their quality of life after 4 to 6 months of treatment. If taken as prescribed over time, these changes can become long-lasting. While allergic rhinoconjunctivitis is not a life-threatening condition, it most certainly can be a QUALITY-OF-LIFE-threatening condition. With the correct diagnosis and an individualized treatment plan based on a thorough medical history and accurately interpreted allergy tests, something can certainly be done about it. If you, or someone you love, suffer from allergies and you want to know what your treatment options are, a consultation with a board-certified AllergyImmunology specialist may be in order. Hopefully, then, you won’t feel like Dr. Albert Schweitzer, who said “Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory,” and you will be able to go out and make your own springtime memories with your family and friends.

A native of Mullins, South Carolina, Dr. David Stone is a board-certified Allergy-Immunology specialist in practice at Allergy, Asthma, and Sinus Center, in their Florence and Hartsville offices.

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Wings for the

Spirit

Choose to Your Life

Enjoy You deserve a break; enjoy these jokes. • One Easter Sunday morning during the children’s sermon, the pastor pulled a plastic egg from a bag. He asked the children,“What’s in here?” “I know!” a little boy exclaimed,“Pantyhose! • An excited little boy ran home and told his parents that school would be dismissed for good on Friday, March 28th. The teacher’s note actually read, “School will be dismissed at 11:00 A.M. for Good Friday, March 28th.” • One Easter Sunday morning, a church had Easter lilies around the altar. During the children’s message, the pastor asked,“What’s different about the church today, kids?” The pastor’s little son excitedly said, “It’s full, Dad!” • Eve was the first woman who ever said, “I don’t have anything to wear,” and meant it • Visitor: “Pastor, how many of your members are active?” Pastor: “They all are! Some are active for the Lord and some are active for the devil. • Clerk: “The dress will be $400, Madam. I guarantee a fit.” Customer: “I guarantee a fit, too, when my husband learns the price.” • Judge: “How did you happen to hit the other car?” Motorist: “It was my wife’s fault. She fell asleep in the back seat.”

S

pringtime is here again – almost everyone’s favorite season of the year. Beautiful trees are budding, colorful flowers are blooming and birds are singing a variety of tunes. What a beautiful world God created for us to enjoy! Take a break at your earliest convenience and step outside for just a moment to breathe in some fresh air. Look all around at the beauty of the earth and sky. Now, look at yourself and other people, God’s creation in His image. Think about that. You and I are so loved by God and so special to Him, He made us in His own image, in His likeness, male and female (Genesis 1:27). Because our loving Heavenly Father gave us the gift of life, He intended for us to enjoy it. Choose to enjoy your life! John 10:10 clearly states Jesus came that we might have and enjoy life and have it abundantly (to the full, till it overflows). The beginning of this verse tells us the thief (Satan) comes to steal, kill and destroy. Examine your life at this time. Are you victorious, enjoying today or is Satan playing havoc in your life trying to rob you of the peace and joy Jesus died for you to have? While we do not have control over many of the struggles and disappointments that come our way, you and I do decide our attitude towards them. Are we going to give up or try to handle them our way or pray and ask God for His help and guidance? We may experience defeat, but we do not have to stay defeated. The first step in being an overcomer when facing a disappointment in life is to go to God in prayer and submit to Him. Man’s disappointments are God’s appointments. He loves you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). He wants to refresh and restore your soul (your mind, will and emotions) (Psalm 23:3). The joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10).

by Sherry S. Page Never give up! God will bring light to the darkness surrounding you if you will seek Him. For those who acknowledge and trust in God, He can take what Satan means for harm and turn it around for good (Romans 8:28). The Lord says, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden and overburdened and I will cause you to rest (I will ease, relieve and refresh your souls)” (Matthew 11:28). While you are fulfilling your responsibilities in life, Jesus wants you to cast all your cares (fears and worries) on Him because He cares for you (I Peter 5:7). Proverbs 3:5-6 says to trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. If you and I try to make things happen ourselves, we have not learned to wait on God and serious consequences may follow. Some people do not acknowledge or trust God because they are in rebellion to Him. They refuse to commit their lives to Him; therefore, Satan is holding them captive, causing much confusion and deceiving them into believing they do not need to seek God. Satan lies to people telling them if they commit their lives to Jesus, they cannot have any fun. The enemy always paints a pretty picture but never shows the end. Wake up, everyone! The thief (Satan) wants to steal your joy, keep you discouraged and destroy you if you will allow him. Refuse to let Satan control your thoughts with negativeness and rob you of the blessings, the joy, the peace that Jesus died for you to have. Jesus died for us; we should live for Him! The same God Who parted the Red Sea, Who spoke the world into existence, Who formed you and me, Who went about healing and delivering all the sick and oppressed,Who raised Lazarus from the dead, is still on the throne and He lives! There is hope in Jesus! Your situation is not too hard for Him (Genesis 18:14). Spend some time with God – even if it is only a minute or a few minutes at the time. He wants to be with you, encourage and comfort you. In His presence is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11). You gain power and strength from time spent praising and talking to the Lord. You are never, ever alone and He has your best interest at heart. God is able to do superabundantly far over and above all that we dare ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). Christ the Lord is risen today! Praise the Name of Jesus! Choose to enjoy your life! If you have never invited Jesus into your heart and would like to, you might pray something like this: Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for loving and creating me. I believe You sent Your only Son, Jesus, to die on a cruel cross to pay the price for our sins. Thank You, Jesus, for Your precious shed blood so I could be saved and have eternal life with You in Heaven. I am sorry for my sins and ask You, Jesus, to forgive me and come in my heart. I want to live for You. Baptize and fill me with Your Holy Spirit that I may be strengthened to live the Christian life and be a bold witness for You. In Jesus’ precious Name. Amen.

Sherry S. Page Atkinson lives in Marion with her husband, Jimmy. Those wishing to contact her may do so at the following address: 6526 South Highway 41 or you may e-mail her at: [email protected].

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You’re to die for.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16 (KJV)

Easter is Sunday, April 12. Worship the One Who suffered, died and rose from the dead so that we may live.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 61

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Art& Soul Gentle Musings by Sharman Poplava

E

Ever since I was a little girl I’ve been mesmer-

I met with local harpist, Margaret Vance who

Luke.The Lord dropped us in the

ized by the beauty of harps and harp music.Whenever

has first hand experience with harp healing. Margaret is

right place at the right time. God

I hear a harp, I feel the push and pull of the soothing

the Music Minister and an Ordained Deacon at St.

tone as it gently flows over me like waves in the water.

Luke United Methodist Church in Hartsville.

has been so good to us.” Margaret has music in her soul and enjoys

I’m not alone in feeling the touch of harp

She said,“I’ve met with physicians (in Ashland,

sharing it with others. She balances 4 choirs and 4

music. Dr. Ron Price, a professor at Northern Illinois

Kentucky) about how music can soothe in a medical

groups of bell ringers at the church. She continues to

University supports the theory that music and particu-

setting. It can calm and bring peace.”

play the harp and piano. “I’ve never known any other

larly harp music can have therapeutic effects. He created an organization called, “Healing Harps.”

“I played in the hospital ER waiting room and

life than music,” she said.

the ICU. I played anywhere in the hospital that they

Margaret laughed when she told me that she

Price’s theory is that the healing or peaceful-

needed me including the neonatal intensive care unit.”

knew God had a sense of humor. She and husband,

ness that comes from playing and listening to a harp

Margaret has spent her life bringing joy and

Stuart have one son, Morgan who was born when

may have something to do with the way the overtones

music to others. “I sang my first solo at church at 3

Margaret was 45 years old.“I played three weddings the

vibrate all through the body when a harp string is

years old. I’ve been playing the piano since I was in the

day before he was born. I never missed a beat!”

plucked.

third grade.”

Margaret continues to play the harp she pur-

The vibrations affect the listener as well as the

She grew up in Tryon, North Carolina. Her

chased from Halleluiah Harps many years ago. She plays

harpist.The harp is held against the body of the harpist,

studies took her to Westminster Choir College in New

at church, weddings, showers and other events. If she’s

which causes the sounds to vibrate all through the

Jersey where she graduated with a degree in church

not healing, she’s certainly bringing joy.

body.

music. She went on to seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. In the Bible, the shepherd, David was asked to

play his harp for King Saul to soothe him.

Soli Deo Gloria! (For God Alone)

Her move to Hartsville came from Ashland Kentucky.“We’ve been pleased and blessed to be at St.

Sharman Poplava is president of the Greater Hartsville Chamber of Commerce. Her e-mail is: [email protected]. I suggest “Sisterhood of Faith-365 Life-Changing Stories About Women Who Made a Difference,” by Shirley Brosius for this month’s recommended read.

APRIL CALENDAR OF EVENTS THIS MONTH’S CAN’T MISS BIG TICKET……... If you loved Reese Witherspoon and her Chihuahua in the hit movie or you just love the color pink, you’ll want to see the “Legally Blonde,” musical on tour. It’s presented by the Blumenthal PAC and performed at Ovens Auditorium in Charlotte, NC on Apr. 21-26.

THEATRE “Little Shop of Horrors” – presented by Coker College Musical Theatre at the Watson Theatre on Apr. 3, 4 & 5. “Peter Pan” – presented by the Florence Little Theatre Apr. 24-May 2.

MUSIC Dr. J. Scott Bennett, organist- presented by the Hartsville-Coker Concert Association at St. Bartholomew’s Episcopal Church, Hartsville on Fri., Apr. 3 at 7:30pm.

FESTIVALS Art’s Alive!- at Francis Marion University Campus on Sat., Apr. 4 from 10am-5pm.

Sherry Woods and Company- presented by FMU First Tuesday at the Hyman Fine Arts Center, Francis Marion University on Tues., Apr. 7 at 8pm.

“An Evening of Art & Jazz”- presented by the Marlboro Arts Council at the Weatherly-Walker House, Bennettsville on Thurs., Apr. 23 at 6:30pm

“Gershwin and Friends”- presented by the Hartsville Civic Chorale and the Long Bay Symphony at the Watson Theatre, Coker College on Sat., Apr. 25 at 7:30pm.

EXHIBITS “Mermaids and Mermen in Black Folklore” on exhibition at the Florence Museum Apr. 7- May 3. Hours:Tues. –Sat. 10am-5pm and Sun. 2pm-5pm. 558 Spruce St., Florence.

DANCE “Hootie and the Blowfish Ballet, A ballet about the band- presented by the Columbia City Ballet at the Koger Center, Columbia on Fri. Apr. 3 at 7:30pm and Sat. Apr. 4 at 3pm and 7:30pm.

“Being Home” on exhibition at the Black Creek Arts Gallery through April. Hours:Tues-Fri 10am-5pm. (Closed from 12-1pm) 116 W. College Ave., Hartsville.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 63

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Omega-3 Fatty Acid: The Miracle Supplement

by J. Marshall Dent, III, MD

W

ould you like to increase your overall health and energy level? Would you like to cut your risk of heart disease, stroke and sudden death? Perhaps you would like to treat diabetes, lupus, arthritis and a host of other inflammatory conditions. One of the most important things you can do is to increase your intake of omega3 fatty acid and reduce your intake of omega-6 fatty acid. Over the past 100 years, our diet has drastically changed with an unprecedented increase in saturated fats and vegetable oils, all loaded with omega-6 fatty acid. Even more significant, however, is that our consumption of fish oils rich in omega-3 fatty acid has dramatically declined. Much of today’s research on omega-3 revolves around its value in the relation to neural development in the newborn. In the past 20 years, the United States has provided millions of dollars to the research in the health benefits of omega-3 fatty acids, with the initial focus on the reduction of lipids. The findings were, without sufficient levels of omega-3 fatty acids, the body will use omega-6 to construct the cell membranes. This is bad news because the cell membrane is less elastic and this has a negative effect on heart muscle function. Omega-3 acids lower serum triglycerides and appear to modestly raise HDL, reduce blood pressure and stabilize heart rhythms. The omega-3 fatty acid also helps the heart by thinning the blood, reducing the risk of plaque formation and sudden death. The American Heart Association recommends that people with heart disease should consume 1,000 milligrams per day of omega-3 fatty acids. For those who need to lower triglycerides, the recommendation is 2-4 grams per day.Omega-3 fatty acid is critical to the growth and maintenance of brain cells and especially cell membranes. The brain is made up of 60% fatty acids and it relies on omega-3 to function properly. Research studies have shown that individuals suffering from depression, mood disorders and postpartum depression exhibit low levels of EPA and DHA. Even more impressive, nearly 75% of those showed improvement when treated with omega-3 fatty acids. The research has shown that persons with behavioral and learning difficulties do best with fish oil supplements that contain more EPA than DHA. As I mentioned earlier, omega-3 fatty acid has anti-inflammatory properties and has shown great promise in the treatment of rheumatoid arthritis and osteoarthritis. At least twelve studies have shown that omega-3 works in arthritis by suppressing the production of inflammatory cytokines and tumor necrosis factor. The dose needed to improve these symptoms of morning stiffness and tender joints was three grams a day. A 1996 study in the New England Journal of Medicine showed omega-3 fatty acids reduced the relapse rate in patients with Crohn’s disease. Similar findings were

seen in ulcerative colitis patients as they required less corticosteroid and showed improved gastrointestinal findings and reduced disease activity. Improvement was also seen in patients with lupus, asthma, eczema and psoriasis. With all the potential benefit of fish oils, why don’t we all just go down to the local discount superstore and pick up some. The problem is that nearly all fish is contaminated with mercury. It has gotten so bad, the government is warning consumers about the risk of excess fish intake and that certain fish are high in mercury and should be avoided. This is a difficult dilemma; eat more fish, get more omega-3 fatty acid, but watch out for mercury. We once thought that farm-raised fish were safe; but, as it turns out, they have more mercury than wild fish! Sadly, eating most fresh fish – whether from the ocean, lakes and streams or farm-raised – is no longer recommended. For nursing moms and children, it may be best to avoid fish all together. The other issue is that salmon, tuna and swordfish often contain unhealthy levels of chemicals such as dioxins, PCBs, pesticides and dangerous amounts of mercury. The PCBs found in fish are a known carcinogen. So, what is one to do to get safe omega-3 fatty acids in the diet? There are three grades of fish oil. What differentiates one from the others is purity, contaminant levels and concentration of omega-3 fatty acids. First, cod liver oil is the lowest quality and has the lowest concentration of omega-3, approximately 20-24%, with little or none of the biological forms of omega-3 used by the body, EPA and DHA. In addition, cod liver oil has the highest contaminants such as heavy metals like mercury and lead, PCBs and DDT. The health-food-store-grade fish oil has a better concentration of omega-3 fatty acid on the order of 30-34%. It contains an average of 18% EPA and 12% DHA and may contain varying amounts of heavy metals. The saturated fat content in healthfood-grade fish oil supplements is 35%, which is way too much. Pharmaceutical-grade fish oil is high quality and up to 88% pure. It contains an average of 40% EPA and 20% DHA and it contains 100-times fewer contaminants than ordinary fish oil. With a saturated-fat content of only 4%, the pharmaceuticalgrade fish oil goes through an extensive filtration process and distillation process to remove contaminants. I wrote this article because, like most of the public, I knew of the benefits of fish oils for cholesterol and I have been getting my supplements from the local discount superstore. Little did I realize that I may have been doing myself more harm than good in the process. In my research into the benefits of omega-3 fatty acids, only then did I realize the stark difference between the various products on the shelves. I believe that omega-3 fatty acid is one of the true essential supplements we need in our diet, but we must be smart in how and where we get it.

If you have questions about the information in this article, you may contact Dr. Dent at Complete Women’s Health Care in Florence. Dr. Dent is Board Certified in Family Practice and Obstetrics and Gynecology and also holds an Advanced Certification in Menopausal Medicine.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 65

A single “click” can say so much to your favorite nurses. Join McLeod in saluting our extraordinary nursing team. National Nurses’ Week offers a perfect opportunity to acknowledge and celebrate the countless contributions of more than 1,500 nurses at McLeod. RNs, LPNs, Nursing Techs, and all Nursing Professionals, every one of them shares a commitment to provide the highest quality of compassionate and supportive care to our patients and their families. Please join McLeod in honoring our truly outstanding nursing staff by sharing your personal thoughts and expressions of gratitude. It’s easy to do – just visit www.McLeodNurse.org., and insert your comments. For all the moments they’ve spent helping you, take one to let them know just how much you appreciate what they do. If you prefer to send a handwritten thank-you, please mail to Nurses’ Week Tribute, McLeod Health Marketing, PO Box 100551, Florence, SC 29502.

McLeod Health www.McLeodNurse.org NURSES’ WEEK BEGINS MAY 6

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Chicks of the Month

Left to right: (Front Row) Key Sanders, Joanne Evans,Tasha Fitts (pink –seated),Veronica Richardson (blue–standing), Polly Enoch (seated-blue), Donna Johnson (white nurse’s outfit-standing) acting Director of Nursing,Tina Dixon (bright pink pants), Natalie Ware, Back row: (Left to right) Minnie Johnson, Ruth Hicks, Margie Flinn

She Magazine & Chick-Fil-A salute The Health Care Staff of The Presbyterian Home of South Carolina in Florence In a letter to

She Magazine, Susan Liles wrote:

I wish to nominate some wonderful and special ladies that great- her physical needs, preparing and serving her meals and any other special ly deserve to be

She Magazine’s “Chicks of the Month.”

They are the needs. They do all these things with happiness and love. I have never

Nurses, CNAs, Housekeepers, Cooks, Director of Social Activities and all

once seen or heard anything negative from any one of them.

the other ladies that work in the health care side of The Presbyterian Home of South Carolina.

These ladies work long and very demanding hours. They are all role models that I have so much respect for. It takes very special people

My grandmother, Marion Graham (affectionately called “Granny” to do the jobs they do and because they do it with such love, it means so by these ladies), has been a resident in the health care side of The Presbyterian Home of South Carolina for eleven years. At 97-years-old,

much. I would love for them to be recognized and honored with

She

she has lived there for almost three years now. The ladies that I am nom- Magazine’s honorable “Chicks of the Month” award. I hope you will see inating have consistently had pleasant smiles and attitudes each and every that these ladies are so deserving of this honor and recognize them. time I see them. They do everything for my grandmother from cleaning

Thank you so much for your consideration!

her room, dressing her, talking to her, washing her laundry, attending to

She

If you would like to receive lunch courtesy of Magazine and Chick-fil-A at the Magnolia Mall, Magnolia Mall Drive-In and Florence Darlington Tech locations, send a brief e-mail telling us why your office or group should be Chicks of the Month to: [email protected]

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 67

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Spring Flowers Have Arrived! Let us decorate and fill your Easter Baskets! Thanks Again! Laura & Sophia

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Happy Always Blessed

Sometimes

by Ferebe Gasque When I was a teenager, Christian musicals were the new innovation among church-going youth. I remember travelling all over the state with our youth choir from First Baptist Church, Florence, to present Good News, Purpose,Tell It Like It Is, and others whose titles I’ve long since forgotten. When I was a freshman in college, however, a new musical was introduced. It was a musical drama about the life of Christ. Unlike most of the others, Celebrate Life is still presented today, more than thirty-five years later. When I learned that this month’s theme was to be “Happiness,” I was excited. I think it’s wonderful to be happy. I am pleased, however, that in the New Testament the word translated “Happy” is also translated “Blessed.” And, while I think many of the folks who flippantly say “Have a Blessed Day!” don’t give it another thought, all Christians should celebrate everyday as a blessed one. The more I thought about being happy and blessed, I began to think about celebrating my own life. I also began to think about others who have celebrated their lives in front of me to encourage me. My mother grew up in what she called “hard times.” She was born in 1914, the middle child of seven. She had three brothers and three sisters. Three of her siblings remain with us now. They, too, continue to be great influences in the lives of many – me included. Momma never complained, mind you. She just wished, I think, that people who complain about little things realized that we really do have many advantages – blessings – in this day and age that folks back in her childhood never even dreamed of. Had she lived, she would have celebrated her ninety-fifth birthday on February 18. She was a phenomenal woman. She was giving and loving and caring to a fault (not to mention a very good cook!). Her faith was strong. While she was able, she would take care of the old folks who didn’t have dependable caregivers close by. Most of those “old” folks were younger than she. Momma taught me early on in my life that if we put our trust in God, He will make a way. She always did. He always has. It was my great honor to sing my sweet Oma to heaven just over a year ago. She’s there celebrating life now. While she is no longer with us physically, she will always be a vital part of my life. My prayer is that I will forever be a reflection of the goodness she shared and that my testimony will echo hers in honoring God with my life. There have been others who have shown me how to celebrate my life, as well. When I was a child, I idolized Dr. and Mrs. Edward L. Byrd, our pastor and his wife. They were bigger than life. I learned so many things from them that have helped to mold me into who I am today. But, as I grew and became an adult, I began to admire them even more. They could have treated me like a child forever without any resentment on my part. I respected them so highly. After my college and seminary education, they began to treat me as a peer, a colleague. They were supportive and encouraging of me in my search for where God wanted me to serve. They prayed for me and reminded me of their belief in me and of their undergirding of my call to ministry. They, too, have gone on to Heaven. They probably meet with my parents regularly as part of the Ferebe Fan Club! I am so grateful to have had them in my life. Ministers of Music have also been major influences in my life. Roy Scoggins was on staff at First Baptist Church in Florence when I was in elementary school. Because of his wonderful teaching, I learned musical skills that enabled me to exempt freshman music theory in college years later. Through his Christian influence and that of others along the way, I heard God’s call to ministry. Later, also through the influence of Mr. Scoggins, I felt God’s leadership to pursue Music Therapy. Joe Greer and Bob Sutter were also great mentors during my high school days as I felt called more specifically into Music Ministry. Charles Muller and Rex Hunter continue to be important support and

encouragement in my life and ministry. Outside of those home church music ministry ties, college and seminary classmates as well as other colleagues have joined me in my quest to celebrate life and its blessings. Those with whom I work have made a stronger impression on me than many of them will ever realize. From 1992 through mid-1995, I was privileged to be employed as Music Therapist at Pee Dee Center in Florence, a residential facility of SCDDSN. Since 2004, it has been my honor to be a Service Coordinator with the Florence County Disabilities and Special Needs Board. In both capacities, those I have served have shown me how to celebrate life in spite of physical and developmental delays. On days when interminable paperwork is overwhelming, a short trip up the street to the Matthew B. Wallace Center or the Braxton Collins Center is met with smiles and greetings and hugs. The people I serve help me to remember to celebrate ALL of life. I am so grateful for them. It is also my privilege to serve as Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House. Having the opportunity to comfort and support families as loved ones are transitioned from this life to the next is unbelievable. The families often tell our staff how much we’ve meant to them. The patients and their families, however, bless us more than they will ever know. God has used this experience in my life to remind me that He is still in charge and that He loves us more than we love each other. There have been many co-workers along the way who have made a difference, too. Some of those still join me in my happy experiences. Then, of course, there are friends who share happy and sad times – friends who are close and those who have drifted away. It has been so much fun for me over these last couple of months to reconnect with friends from days gone by through Facebook. It has given me the opportunity to relive the blessings once more. So, am I happy all the time? Probably not in the traditional sense of the word. Am I blessed? Always.

Ferebe Gasque is the Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, a Service Coordinator with Florence County DSN Board and an Independent Consultant with the Pampered Chef. ®

3/26/09

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Florence Wellness & Weight-loss Center J. MARSHALL DENT, M.D., BARIATRIC PHYSICIAN, BARIATRIC ASSISTANTS, JEAN DICKENS & PATRICIA POWELL AND CERTIFIED PERSONAL TRAINER GEORGE MCELVEEN

under the direction of

NOW OFFERING FULL & MODIFIED FAST AS WELL AS OTHER PROGRAMS TAILORED TO YOUR INDIVIDUAL NEEDS

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HER STORY... At 187 pounds, I was having health problems and the weight needed to come off. I was a 25-year-old with extremely high blood pressure, high sugar levels and I was constantly exhausted. I never had any energy to do anything. Losing weight on my own was hard because I have hypothyroidism, so I needed help. Dr. Dent recommended that I talk to Jean Dickens at Florence Wellness & Weight-Loss Center about their weight-loss program. It was the best thing I ever did. I chose the Modified Program, which consisted of a high-protein, low carb diet. I never considered it a diet, though. I saw it as a change in lifestyle, so it never seemed difficult. Plus, the program was easy to follow. I exercised one to two hours, four to five times a week. My exercises included whole-body workouts with lots of walking and jogging. My health was my number one motivator. I wanted to feel better, so I had no choice but to lose the weight. The increase in my energy level was another great motivator. I was recently married to a wonderful man who totally supported me through the whole process and always encouraged me. My family was an awesome support group and was there every step of the way, as well.

The best thing about my weight loss is my blood pressure has come down and so have my sugar levels. I no longer have to take all that medication, which is great! I feel so much better! My advice to others is that you can achieve anything! Never doubt your ability to do it. Losing weight is hard, but it is well worth it! Now, I weigh 141 pounds, which is a total loss of 46 pounds in nine months. I couldn’t be happier! before

after

Shannon Bryant lives in Dillon. She is employed by First Bank in Dillon, SC, as a teller/insurance clerk. She is also enrolled in AIB Banking Institute. .

J. Marshall Dent, M.D. is now certified by the American Board of Bariatric Physicians, making him 1 of only 10 Board Certified Bariatric Physicians in SC.

Complete Women’s Health Care

See Dr. Dent’s article on pg.64

69

J. Marshall Dent, M.D. Member of North American Menopausal Society • Member of American Bariatrics Physicians

410 South Coit Street • Florence • 665.5055

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shop talk

with

SOPHIA POWELL AND LAURA ASKINS AT

cxtátÇàËá `tÜ~xà in Lake City STAFF: “Laura has the market gift and the drive to grow the business. Some days, I just can’t believe I have not only someone to pick up the ball and run with it, but I also have someone to keep the dream alive. A natural artist and people person, Laura is going to take this market and keep it thriving long after I retire. Partners – a very rare thing. We feel very fortunate.” - Sophia Powell “I enjoy our customers; they all have the friendliest personalities and really brighten my day. Sophia’s been great to work with and helped make me feel right at home.” - Laura Askins PRODUCTS AND SERVICES: The Peasant’s Market offers garden services including pool, deck, courtyards and porches. It specializes in container gardening and landscape design. Keeping gardening simple, low maintenance and with lots of WOW!,The Peasant’s Market focuses on everyday indoor/outdoor living. Sophia and Laura do seasonal flowers and make arrangements for the home, as well as to send out as gifts. The Peasant’s Market carries items from French Milled Candles and Soaps to She Crab Soup by Chesapeake Bay Company. Gift baskets for the gardener or food baskets for the gourmet are also available. The Peasant’s Market is growing and soon will have three shopping areas – the indoor living area with food, gifts and everyday needs; the garden room with pottery, outdoor furniture, garden supplies and finally, the courtyard garden area. WHAT MAKES US SPECIAL: Sophia and Laura take organics, natural products and going green seriously, while keeping it simple. They keep the atmosphere real and comfortable at Peasant’s Market. “Our regular customers come to shop, but they also come to enjoy the mood of the market and get a boost before going home at the end of their day. Pictured (L to R): Laura Askins and Sophia Sophia Powell I think we’ve achieved the comfort of a charming secret garden because our garden part of the market is enclosed as an old courtyard with brick, wrought iron, lots of green and popping colors.” - Laura HOW WE CAME TO BE: Sophia Powell’s husband, Charlie, had a life-threatening Askins stroke that shook their world and changed life as they knew it. For a year, she stayed with Charlie through rehab, rehab and more rehab until he could do minor basic things FIND US: Peasant’s Market is located at 249 West Main Street in Lake City, SC. The for himself. Sophia tried to get out into the world by doing small jobs, but concentraphone number is 843-374-3054. tion was impossible because she thought about Charlie all day long. They thought the answer to their dilemma might be a business to love and grow as a team. Because of the trials they had been through, they knew that nothing was impossible. Together, they were survivors. Little did they know, however, that opening a business wouldn’t be that easy. Their concept of a garden specialty and outdoor living/entertaining/everyday market was going to take some time. Nonetheless and going forward with the market concept, Sophia reunited with old friends and acquaintances in Lake City where she grew up. Charlie cheered her on, picked her up every morning, dusted her off and sent her out the door to “do the market.” With much prayer and a touch of impulsiveness, stubbornness and wills of iron, Sophia and Charlie’s dream became a reality when Peasant’s Market opened in June 2004, four years after Charlie’s stroke.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 71

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Happiness IS......

"Happiness" is not having to deal with life's annoyances. Stay with me on this one as we wind down a flight of consciousness. It was not a pretty sight. The plastic bag in the fresh vegetable section at my favorite grocery had truly been designed to be a formidable opponent to any shopper. I tried desperately to find the opening in order to protect my eggplant.The bag was relentless. I held it up one way to find the secret passage that would separate the mouth of the plastic bag, squishing it deftly with my fingers on one side, then on the opposite end to try and make it pop open for use. I held the eggplant under my armpit, looked through my trifocals and scrutinized the flat piece of clear plastic for a clue on how to make it a useful container for my produce. I tore it with my teeth; I tried jabbing it with a large cucumber and even threw it into the air thinking that this piece of plastic nightmare would blow itself open on the journey down. Buried up under the humiliation of having been sprayed down for at least three cycles by the water that refreshed the produce, now drenched and exhausted, I gave up.The bag ultimately won. I tossed the eggplant in the seat of my grocery cart and dared someone to ask me why it was sitting there unprotected. Far too frustrated to even consider gathering some baking potatoes and battling another round with another bag, that's when I decided it was again time to release my hostility through what I humbly call the annual Sincerely Yours: Pet Peeves Column. Number one on the list this year, you guessed it, those sly little produce bags that never open on command or sometimes never open at all.They can invent hydro-electric engines, complex artificial heart valve replacements, and GPS equipment to help you navigate to remote locations for ice fishing in Montana or a new subdivision in Columbia, but they can't invent easy access grocery bags. Speaking of GPS systems, I recently attended an out of town meeting, so my boss, who knows I am directionally challenged, offered me his family's "Garmin." It was a life saver. I couldn’t believe it.That tool helped me weave and wind my way through back roads, take the appropriate side when there was a fork in the road and even assist me through the difficult steering through a "round-about." By the end of the trek, I had even named the voice of this incredible GPS instrument Judy, (for Judy Garmin instead of Garland) and caught myself occasionally trying to make idle conversation with her along the way, like "so what does Mr. Garmin do…." Despite her lack of response on these personal issues, we hit it off and I safely made it back home without mistakenly driving to another state as on previous business trips. In the process of jotting this thought down the other evening, I was making a bee-line toward my ringing home phone, knocked over the table lamp and tripped over the extended ottoman part of my lounge chair in time to say a breathless "HHHHello." Long pause. "Hello?" I said again, when the canned commercial type voice of a guy named Matthew wanted to tell me how glad he was that I had just been selected among millions of folks to pre-qualify for yet another fabulous credit card. I couldn't hold it in any longer. "Matthew!" I screamed. "I have a cracked kneecap, have just smashed to smithereens my favorite and irreplaceable antique lamp, and am in debt up to my ears with the 56% interest rates I have on my nine other FABULOUS credit cards. Don't call me ever, ever again!" The Number Two ranked Pet Peeve has several categories: a. telemarketers, b. the long pause before a telemarketer starts his pitch, c. telemarketers named "Matthew" with voices like Bob Barker and d. barca-loungers with foot rests that don't stay down.

Sincerely Yours by Jumana A. Swindler Money isn’t always an issue, but the useful tools like checks and ATM cards that represent them are. For example, have you noticed how you can put everything except the location of your birthmark on your checks, but clerks still want to see your driver's license and then hand write the number down again on the check for those of us who still use the darn things? And how about when you go to get cash, the machine actually acknowledges your card by posting "Hello, Jumana Swindler" on the screen and then proceeds to tell you that they are going to charge you two bucks in order to give you your hard-earned $20. If it knows my name, why the heck does the machine want to charge me? On a roll about these issues, I chatted with my friend the other day, who suggested I not write on the subject of pet peeves. "People may start to think you're too harsh.You just need to take life less seriously," she was saying, offering me some iced tea out of the refrigerator. When, all of a sudden, her head rolled around like the gal on the "Exorcist" and she screamed out to her family, "OK… WHO PUT THE DURN ICED TEA JUG BACK INTO THE FRIDGE EMPTY????" I immediately took notes on her convulsive-like behavior. "I just hate that," she said, almost spitting like a cat in attack-mode. "Nothing burns me up more than when people put empty containers back on ice!!!!" I didn't try to mention how seriously she was taking life at that point, but put her Pet Peeve on the list. At any rate, it got me thinking about a few other domestic pet peeves. Ever notice how you never can find those sheets you put with your clothes in the dryer until you're out in public and one of those little sheets just creeps on out of the sweater you’re wearing, just to make you look bad? Or how the outside cat never throws up on the front porch, unless you're having company? And when does it rain? Yep.When you've washed your car. And when does the wind blow ferociously? Yep.When you've spent the weekend cleaning the yard. Even leisure activities come with Peeves. How about the pleasure of the movie-going experience when the couple behind you talks incessantly through the show that cost you $72 to see with a friend, including the drink, candy, popcorn and very short previews.The price isn’t as agitating as the fact that one of those little chatters from behind has seen the movie before and says in a loud voice, "Oh and watch this….This is when (the main actor) does so and so. Oh and watch this…….." Maybe that's what those awful plastic bags can be used for - to tie around those little necks behind you the next time that happens at the theater.

Jumana A. Swindler, a resident of Florence, is the Director of Marketing and Public Relations for McLeod Health. Her personal favorite pastimes, reflected in her writings,

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 73

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74 • April 2009 • She Magazine

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3/26/09

april 2009

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the HAPPINESS issue

Feature stories begin on page76

The stock market may fall and unemployment might continue to rise. You can’t change the world, but you can change your attitude.

It’s time to forget your troubles and come get happy!

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my happiness.

by Ferebe Gasque

F

eeling sorry for herself was something Grace was getting used to. It was two weeks before Christmas and her complaints about her life of suffering had grown longer than most children’s wish lists. Normally she was a healthy, active Christian who taught Sunday School and played the organ where her husband was the minister. She home-schooled their three children and taught 30 pupils in her piano studio. Now, her daily routine consisted of surviving from one dose of nausea medication to another. Her purse had been traded in for a tote bag full of assorted pills and poise pads. Surgeries had replaced slumber parties. Her life had forever changed the exact moment her surgeon stoically announced the dreaded “C” word. While she was venting at Him through clenched teeth, God lovingly interrupted Grace, reminding her to rest like the Psalmist said: “Be still & KNOW.” Her eyes glared down at her Bible which was in reach, but she wasn’t about to obey. “Be still & know,” a still small voice kept whispering. “No doing!” she kept shouting aloud to herself. She soon was calling a sympathetic friend she knew would let her complain. But, just as she began to name her ailments loudly, in came a broken-down wheel chair being pushed by an elderly lady. Her body was bent with fatigue and she was obviously in a hurry. The bed next to Grace’s in the chemo room was soon spilling over with the enormous contents of the wheelchair. It was a middle-aged man whose long, lean body would have been close to seven feet tall if he could have stood. Inside, Grace smirked at the ridiculous sight before her. He was dressed in clothes that made him look like a giant-sized version of Mr. Rogers – sweater and all, even down to the canvas shoes and snow white tube socks which shown under the perfectly creased high-water trousers. His hands were the size of dinner plates. The lady began stroking them tenderly as soon as he was lying down. “Be still!” kept coming to Grace’s heart, but she refused. She kept right on talking even when the elderly woman said the man was having migraines. Experience had taught her about cancer’s horrible migraines. She

knew exactly what the lady meant, but it still didn’t matter. Her elevated voice kept echoing against the white wall, driving the silence from the room. Finally, the woman came over to her bed and shot Grace a look that could kill. Reluctantly, off went the phone. So begins the story of Rebecca Grace Hunter. She continues to tell the story of the man who, though large in stature, was still a child in his mind and perceptions. His close relationship with the “C” word started when he was just four years of age. At forty-nine, he still had a child-like faith in God and in his mother and in his doctors. He readily shared his experiences with those who would listen. He didn’t complain about his circumstances. Only his pain would make him cry out. Eventually, Grace begrudgingly responded to God’s urgings to ask the man how long he’d been sick. That’s when he began to tell her about his struggles. He didn’t describe them as struggles, however. He called them “Just a Bump in the Road from the Lord.” The rhythmic quote became almost chant-like, spoken with all the joy of a laughing four year old. It was obviously something he’d learned from his mother, who, just minutes ago, Grace was denigrating for allowing her adult son to depend on her so strongly. Somehow, those brief moments of silence had made that frail mother turn into a towering image of strength. Grace was filled with praise for this rock whose hands had touched this life for Jesus. She remembered a lot of things just then – how blessed she was to have a Godly husband who brought her medicines in the middle of the night and held her when the pain was so unbearable she thought she would die. How he awoke every time she made the slightest movement. How he cried and prayed over her and thanked God for each new dawn. Her mind raced to their children, who had helped by continuing their studies and keeping their house tidy while still grieving over her illness, and how the Holy Spirit was helping them do things way beyond their years. She thought of her family miles away who showered her in daily prayers and cards, visits and love.There were the “literal thousands”

Hunter of prayers being said on her behalf by former church families. Their current church and the entire rural community had been the very hands and feet of Christ Himself – keeping hot meals on their table, clean clothes in their closets and warm tears on their pillows – as they, too, constantly lifted up prayers to Almighty God. Within a brief moment, those same brown loafers reentered the room. This time Grace thought how beautiful those feet must be. Who had taught Sonny about his God? Who had told him the truth that cancer was indeed “Just a BUMP in the ROAD from the LORD”? Who taught him to comfort others when he didn’t feel like it? His precious, nameless mother had become a saint. The story Rebecca Grace Hunter related above took place more than a year ago. Thankfully, she is now in remission. That experience, however, will remain with her forever. There are many others who, like that nameless mother, are saints who constantly remind us, as Jesus said: "Happy are they... " (Matthew 5:3-12) Becky Hunter is one of those saints in my life and in the lives of countless others.

Photo by Chastity Wilson, Graceful Images Photography. Ferebe Gasque is the Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, a Service Coordinator with Florence County DSN Board and an Independent Consultant with the Pampered Chef.®

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 77

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my happiness.

Riley

O

ne thing comes to mind as the funniest thing that has ever happened to me. About six months ago, I got to my baby’s daycare and realized I had forgotten his bottles. I told Nina (the person that keeps him) that I would go to work, see my first patient and then go home to get his formula and bring it back to the daycare before he needed a bottle. I did just as I said. When I got home, I grabbed the bottles and jumped back in the car and realized I forgot my sunglasses. I have a very hard time driving without them, so I ran back inside and looked everywhere. I couldn’t find them. All I could think was, “Really!” I mean, how do you lose something so fast? I was only in one room; where could they have gone? Really short on time, I grabbed a pair of my children’s sunglasses and put them on. I knew the tiny size on my head was quite funny; but, halfway to the daycare, I happened to look at myself in the rearview mirror and noticed that the sunglasses were Hot Wheels sunglasses – and not the ones with a little car in the corner of one of the lenses or along the frame. I’m staring at myself in the mirror wearing glasses that are not only two sizes too small, but the entire lens is nothing but a huge hologram of a big metallic blue car. I cracked up and wondered who I had passed that noticed my sunglasses. Like always, I get lost in my thoughts of time management and forget about the glasses. At the daycare, I got out and carried on a conversation with Nina for a few minutes. I got back in the car and noticed that I still had those silly glasses on. (Thank goodness, Nina knows me well enough to not expect anything other than something like that.) I did, however, get back to work on time to see my next patient. Guess what I found on the shelf? My sunglasses that I had never worn back to the house in the first place. Working two part-time jobs that total full-time, keeping up with totally different schedules at the two places, keeping up with my husband’s rotating shift and four children and their many schedules (especially with baseball being in full swing now), I laugh at myself and all the crazy things I do or say (or forget to do and say). All this causes me to appear and act (which probably means I am!) very scatterbrained. I have hit myself in the eye with my car door. I’ve rolled my own finger up in my car window. On many occasions, I’ve washed a load of clothes – minus the clothes. When we went on a mission

When I really dig down deep and ask myself,“Do trip to Mexico with our church, a gentleman trying to control an outhouse odor said that he would just sprin- these things really make me happy?” My answer is – to kle some lime around. I was serious when I asked him, be quite honest – yes, they do! I would like to say that “What do you mean? You just cut up a lime and toss it they are superficial and don’t matter that much, but they around?” I have even forgotten to pick up my child at do make me happy. On a deeper level, however, what makes me preschool. In my defense, it was the first day back from Christmas break. (I probably shouldn’t tell many people happy is the love that surrounds me. The love from my wonderful husband, my beautiful children, my supporting that, but that’s just who I am.) Other than myself, the funniest person I know is parents and my great friends make me truly happy. Those my three-year-old daughter, Ava. She can make me laugh little tiny arms wrapping around me at the end of a long all day long. I really think kids are too smart for their own day. The shoulder massage from my husband while I good. She is so innocent, which only adds to the humor. check my e-mail. The call from my mom “just to check Recently, she drew on her grandmother’s chair with a in.” A lunch with a friend so we can catch up. I’ve learned marker. When asked why she did it, she replied,“I not do that I can miss all this if I don’t stop and take it all in. We all get so busy that we forget to breathe. We forget to it, you not see me.” I couldn’t help but laugh! What makes me happy? That’s a loaded ques- make time to recognize our surroundings and how great tion. It’s funny to think about the stages in your life that prompt such different answers. As a mother of four children and working full-time, some of the things I can think of right now are entirely different from what I would have said as someone that is single, a newlywed or a mother to one child. I’m also sure my answer today would be entirely different as my children grow and I retire. As for now, my thoughts tend to go something like this. First, a clean house would make me happy. I think I had one of those once – a long time ago. A clean house may be a losing battle for now; but, I’m pretty sure that if it happened, it would make me happy! Some days, happiness is just an empty dishwasher or no clothes to have to wash, dry, fold or put up! A nap makes me happy – sometimes, even the possibility of a nap. A full night of sleep makes me happy, as do all Photo by Chastity Wilson, Graceful Images Photography green lights. A great sale really makes me happy, especially a surprise sale on top of a sale. (You they can be. We forget to be happy. know the ones when you get to the register with a sale Sometimes, we can let the negative things take item to find out it has been marked down further). More control. When I stop and think how blessed I really am things that bring me happiness include a full tank of gas, a in all that I do, the bad things don’t seem so unmanageHardee’s biscuit that isn’t too hard and an ice-cold Dr. able. I know that all the love and happiness I experience Pepper at breakfast. A night out with the girls, acting silly ultimately comes from God. He is lifting me up and surand being on time (even just for once!) also make me rounding me in ways I can’t explain. I can’t begin to happy. express how thankful – and happy – I am for that.

Amah Riley and her husband, Wayne, live in Hartsville. They have four children, Caleb (9), Josh (6), Ava (3) and Carson (8 months). She is a Dental Hygienist and works part-time at Dr. Lester Reynolds’ office and also at Hartsville Family Dentistry.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 79

2151F W. Evans St. Florence, SC 843-662-0971

205 Kelly St. Lake City, SC 843-394-1494

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my happiness.

Edwards “The Picture of Happiness” by Cookie Cawthon

A

scattering of early birds claim valuable real estate on the studio floor of the Wednesday morning Zumba class at McLeod Health and Fitness Center. A couple of the ladies stretch and silently stare ahead, privately determining whether the mirror is being kind to their thighs. A collection of class regulars congregate in the front of the room, catching up on life since their last gym rendezvous. One or two glance over a shoulder to gauge whether there is time to run for water or dash to the restroom. Most remain planted, not wanting to forfeit a coveted spot with an unobstructed view. A motley hue of water bottles and stark white cotton towels frame the room; a guy or two or three now stand in the midst of forty or so women. All are ready. The door swings open and Jennie Edwards enters. Everyone smiles in her direction and moves a comfortable distance apart. Within seconds, Kirk Franklin’s “Look at Me Now” is pumping through the speakers and all are marching – most before being instructed to do so. “Take it wide,” Jennie directs as she adjusts the mic over her ear and around the front of her face. As her charges continue to march and warm their still-sleepy muscles, she broadcasts a contagious smile and booms, “Good morning, y’all! Are you ready for this?” as she launches into some high energy booty shakin’. I’m not so sure, thinks a sluggish participant in the middle of the pack. There’s no turning back now. It is on. Sixty minutes – a lot of sweat, calories, salsa steps and merengue moves – later, the contagious smile abounds. Each face is marked by it. The intense workout led by one who obviously loves what she does and a cool down to “She’s a Bad Mama Jama” leaves a body and soul energized to conquer the day. As the music closes, Jennie issues her customary parting, “Hope you had fun this morning; y’all are beautiful! This is Zumba, and I am Jennie.” The mélange of perspiring participants gather their gear and file toward the door, thanking Jennie as they depart and some stopping to chat with her before they go. As she grabs her bag, a picture slides out and falls to the floor - unnoticed. It’s a picture of a younger Jennie and Julie, her twin sister, at a swim meet. The smile is the same, and attached to the photo there is a sticky note in her own handwriting of the words of her father, “Jennie,YOU can do ANYTHING you put your mind to.” And she has always taken him at his word. She and Julie were always involved in lots of activities: dancing, performing, cheering, singing, and competitive swimming. They were busy, social, and inseparable. Unaware of the lost picture, Jennie shuts the lights off in the studio and proceeds to the Activity Center to round up her youngest sweet girl. Jennie peers over the half door into the nursery and watches with sheer delight as one-year-old Evelyn laughs and dances for the workers. Evelyn quickly realizes her audience’s attention has been diverted. She looks over, and her face bursts into a glow; she snort laughs as she runs. With belongings and child in tow, Jennie heads out to run errands before collecting Carlisle (3) from preschool at noon. After a busy morning, the Edwards girls head home for lunch.

As Jennie deposits their “stuff” onto the kitchen counter with a heavy thump, another old picture in a stack is blown by the gust. It is a group photo of the College of Charleston Cougarettes Dance Team she plans to scan on to her blog; Jennie is beaming as the captain on the front row. The smile is the same. College was the first time of separation for Jennie and Julie and that was difficult, but it was also a time when Jennie “sprouted socially, emotionally, and spiritually.” She had no car, worked a lot (sometimes three jobs at once), had a very active social life, made a slew of friends, and graduated with a double major in Business Administration and Corporate Communication. Again the loose photograph goes unnoticed. The girls entertain themselves in the keeping room as Jennie turns on dancing music while she prepares lunch; she enjoys watching them read books and play dolls and bounce to the beat. As Evelyn leans down to retrieve her doll, she spies something. She sticks her tiny hand under their pint-sized art table and pulls out a picture of two familiar faces; she cackles and gives a huge toothy grin. She stares into the faces of Jennie and Julie as lifeguards at Disney World’s Blizzard Beach. Before finishing school, the sisters snagged six-month internships at Disney. Julie secured her position at an interview with recruiters at Clemson and called Jennie to share the news. Jennie recalled her father’s encouragement and decided to go all out to secure her own spot. After learning that the Disney recruiters were only visiting three other schools (all located in Florida), she applied for her first credit card and booked a flight and hotel. Though hundreds sought the few available positions, Jennie was hired on the spot. Her dynamic, friendly, outgoing personality won the praise of the recruiter and garnered her one of the coolest, most positive experiences of her life. Evelyn slides the picture back under the table – enjoying the hiding spot. During naptime, Jennie updates her blog and continues to sort through thousands of pictures for the next photobook she is compiling. She loves pictures – taking pictures (particularly of her happy girls; she calls herself their paparazzi - she’s a big fan) and now pairing pictures with quotes and Scripture and stories to document their life in a beautiful keepsake book. Revisiting photos from yesterday always sends her back to fun, fun memories. Today she lingers on the memories and allows them to hop time and distance. Not sure which succession of memories led this way, but she arrives at a mental picture of one of her favorite memories – walking the streets of Rome with Brian, her “hunk of burnin’ love.” As computer consultants with high-profile clients, they traveled. They accumulated tons of frequent flyer miles and saw a lot of the world on crazy fun weekends and vacations. The patter of little feet down the hall returns Jennie to mom mode; naptime is over, at least for one little girl. Jennie scoops Carlisle and her sweet drowsy smile into her lap and snuggles her closely. Carlisle rubs her fingers lightly over the touch pad on the computer which causes the blog to scroll downward; she pulls her finger away and the page stops on three pictures: a verse (2 Corinthians 12:9) on a hospital dry erase board, a tiny casket, and a grave marker. It’s a blog entry about Grace.

Cookie Cawthon is blessed to be wife to Chris, mother to Carson (6) and Campbell (3), Diet Pepsi addict, and crazy-excited greeter at NewSpring Church’s Florence campus.

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my happiness. (continued) Grace Katherine Edwards. She was the first daughter for Brian and Jennie. At sixteen weeks pregnant, the expectant parents learned that Grace possessed a fatal condition. Jennie’s belly rounded and grew as Grace did. They watched her moving around on the ultrasound, and they felt her kick as their impending loss loomed ahead. Each week they went in to listen for a heartbeat, and there was none at twenty-four weeks. He carried them. When they could not stand on their own, He carried them. And they let Him. And they knew His faithfulness and His promises. Jennie shares this one as meaningful during that time:“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful” (Jeremiah 31:3-4). The pictures remain on the screen as the two move to check on Evelyn’s stirrings. As the girls anticipate Brian’s return from work, Jennie is awash with gratitude. She looks around their home at all of the snapshots of their love affair as a family. She thinks to herself, “I may not make exotically fantastic meals, or have a clean outfit on – one without glitter, paint, or even spit up on it – when Brian comes home from work. And Brian may not be home as early as he’d like or may have to take a business call at home every now and again. But WE LOVE EACH OTHER, OUR JESUS, AND OUR GIRLS. That will just never change.”

Photos by Chastity Wilson, Graceful Images Photography

As much as this may appear to be Jennie’s story, she is quick to correct. The most telling photograph of her life isn’t one that was captured on a memory card in a fancy camera. It is the consistent image of her allowing Jesus to work in and through her life on a daily basis. That is the picture she wants others to capture. She wants there to be no mistake; she is a “lousy sinner” who believes Jesus at His Word. He brings joy and peace, and she takes Him up on His offer. He freely gives abundant life, and she isn’t passing that up. She and Brian are thankful for His grace. Couple that with the long ago encouraging words of her earthly father, and you have Jennie Edwards choosing happiness. So, if you’re one of the eighty or so gym peeps who roll up into her Tuesday night Zumba class, expect to straight up work hard, get funky, move your hips in ways you never imagined, and leave feeling a little happier yourself.And, don’t be at all surprised when you get home and check Facebook updates and see that Jennie “is happy, happy, happy!”

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my happiness.

Hubbard Schurlknight

S

by Dana S. Carraway

unshine, butterflies, lollipops, hugs and kisses, puppy dogs, rainbows and smiley faces all can make one think of happy things. What about the tickle monster? Or your children’s belly laughs (from the tickle monster)? Or a sweet surprise of your favorite ice cream from your husband? Little things like these are what make Wendy Schurlknight happy. When I started thinking of people who are always happy, Wendy was the first person that popped into my mind. I’ve known her for over a decade now and, in all these years, I can honestly say she’s been consistently happy. You’d never know if she was going through something internally or having a bad day unless she just decided to share that with you. She’s a good Christian woman and Christ is her source of strength and endurance for being happy and joyful as the Bible instructs us. There aren’t many situations, settings or times of day this woman isn’t happy! Wendy agrees Photo by Chastity Wilson, Graceful Images Photography

(though her husband may not at times) saying that she’s always been a happy person. “My mom has always put things in perspective and, at an early age, taught me to laugh at myself and trust in the Lord with all my heart.” Passionate and animated, mostly everyone Wendy knows would say she’s a happy person. Her numerous passions are apparent and well-expressed in conversations with others. She strives in some way, shape or form to lift up those who are down. Of course, there have been times in Wendy’s life when she wasn’t so happy, found it difficult to turn on that smile or pump out the joy. We’ve all had hard times in our lives; that’s what makes it life. Thank God for the sunshine after the rain. We can always count on that. When I asked Wendy about a time in her life when she wasn’t so happy and how she worked through it to become the happy person she is today, she said,“It’s hard to pinpoint just one time in my life where I haven’t been happy. The Lord gives us trials to go through to learn from and grow. My faith in the Lord is a big factor in how I handle things. I feel now, more than ever, that my walk with the Lord is stronger and has allowed me to see things in a different light and to always trust in Him. My favorite Bible verse is Jeremiah 29:11, ‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ Whenever or whatever I’m struggling with in my life, this verse pops up in my head. I know that this is the Lord talking and reassuring me to let my worries go and He will take care of things. I try to be obedient in His Word and live my life the way He wants me to live. I know I would not be where I am today without Christ in my life. When I gave my life over to Christ, it was a joyous and happy moment in my mother’s life. I can’t wait for that day when my children do the same.” Growing up clumsy has brought many laughs Wendy’s way. Keeping in tradition with that, she tells a funny story that happened to her about four years ago. While at an amusement park with her sister, she was walking fast, trying to get back in line where her sister was. Right before Wendy reached her, she tripped and

almost fell forward to the ground. In trying so hard not to fall, she was up to a running stance with her body bent over halfway and her face towards the ground! By the time she regained her balance back and flung her head up, she just about smacked her face on a big concrete block holding the roller coaster in the ground. The other hundred people standing in line were witness to one of Wendy’s funniest moments. God plus Wendy’s life equals a happy spirit. She says that her happiness with having God in her life can be an example to others. Christ’s light through her will hopefully make others yearn for what she has and lead others to Christ. Per Wendy, “It’s simple knowledge to know that truly the only way to be happy in your life is to have a relationship with God. If you have that relationship with Him, there will be happiness to follow from here to eternity.” I say, Amen! Thinking back on things that make her laugh kindles one of her fondest memories. When Wendy’s sister, Amy, would come home from college (and as they were growing up), they’d sometimes share the bed together. They’d just be lying there when suddenly one of them would get the giggles and start laughing, shaking the bed with laughter and silliness. Then, they’d both be laughing on-and-on for thirty minutes or more over nothing. In general, things that make Wendy laugh are her daughter, Ryleigh; her husband, Tom, wailing to the radio in the car, then turning to her and asking, “I was pretty close, wasn’t I?” Looking back on her pictures from the 80s always turns her giggle box upside down. What makes her laugh really hard is when she and her mom dance together. With Wendy leading and Mom getting twirled, the laughter sets in with Mom cackling, causing a chain reaction of laughter. They’ll laugh so hard that their bellies ache for hours. Wendy’s prescription for happiness is to smile at everyone, have at least one belly laugh a week and trust in the Lord with all your heart. He is the true creator that gives you happiness. Proverbs 16:20,“He who heeds the word wisely will find good and whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he.”

Wendy Schurlknight lives in Florence with her husband,Tom. They have two beautiful children, Ryleigh and Matthew. She is employed by Manpower, Inc. and is a member of Southside Baptist Church. Wendy enjoys entertaining, Clemson sports, going to church and spending time with her family and friends. She is a blessing and true source of inspiration and joy to those around her. Dana Sampson Carraway lives in Effingham with her husband, Fred, and puppy dog, Sadie. She works at Adams Outdoor Advertising and looks forward to your comments at [email protected].

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my happiness.

McAlpin

What Makes Me Laugh: My husband; how excited my daughter gets when our dogs lick her toes; somebody else laughing; the TV show, Friends (I’ve seen each episode a dozen times, but I still find them hilarious) My Prescription for Happiness: Have a strong relationship with the Lord, realize the importance of family, surround yourself with happy and positive people – and get a dog

i

could go on and on about what makes me happy. First and Foremost, having Jesus Christ in my heart and my life makes me happy. Without Him, I wouldn’t have any direction or peace. When my friend, Erin, nominated me for a feature story in She Magazine’s “Happiness Issue,” she wrote, “You can see in Amanda’s smile that Claire and Justin are the reasons for her happiness!” She’s right. I can’t believe how blessed I am to have such a wonderful husband and daughter. I absolutely love being a wife and mother. My husband’s love, support and faith in me is overwhelming and no one can make me laugh like he can. I look forward to growing old with him by my side. My heart forever changed the moment I laid eyes on my daughter. On November 9, 2008, Justin and I received the most wonderful blessing to our already blessed lives with the birth of our daughter, Claire. It’s amazing how much joy and happiness one little person has brought into our world. Not only has she helped strengthen my relationship with Justin, but also my relationship with the Lord. Having a child gives a totally new meaning to love. Being Claire’s mom is the best and most rewarding job I’ve ever had. I wake up every morning with a sense of happiness knowing that I get to be her mom. It takes a lot to make me happier than to see Justin and Claire, together. The love a daddy has for his little girl is adorable. I could watch them play and snuggle every minute of every day, although I’d get a little jealous after a while and need some Claire-time of my own. Justin and I are also the proud (and happy) owners of two boxers – a clingy female named Riley and a happy-go-lucky male named Elvis. Elvis is actually deaf and we have to communicate to him through sign language. You would never know he had a handicap. My happiness also comes from having an amazing family made up of my mom, dad, brother, in-laws, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I am so blessed to have a family who truly loves and supports each other. I’m also so fortunate to have wonderful friends in my life – old and new – who have shared some of my fondest memories with me. Friends are just an extension of family. I remain extremely close with my childhood friends in Georgia, but I’ve had the great privilege to make new ones in Florence. Ebenezer Baptist Church is what brought us to Florence. Justin has been serving as Youth Minister at EBC for just over four years. Ebenezer immediately welcomed us into their church family and continues to provide us with love and support. I graduated with a Degree in Graphic Design from Kennesaw State University, which is located outside of Atlanta. I love being creative and making something out of nothing. I get so much joy and happiness out of designing a birth announcement for someone to introduce their new baby or creating a logo and identity for a new business. I love high heels – the bolder, the better! A great pair of heels can totally change my attitude. If I wake up feeling a little blue, I just put on a pair of my brightest heels and I immediately feel better about the day. I’ve always been a firm believer in fashion before comfort, so I typically end up complaining about my aching feet halfway through the day (just ask my co-workers). Naps make me happy. There is nothing better than curling up in the bed with my daughter after church and a big lunch. Awww! Bliss! Ice cream! I pride myself on being an ice cream connoisseur. It’s the one food I could eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Come to think of it, I have managed to eat a different flavor of ice cream for each different meal in a day.

Chastity Wilson, Graceful Images Photography

I love a good belly laugh – the kind that makes your cheeks and side hurt. It can be with someone or just by myself. Bath time with Claire makes me happy. I look forward to the thirty minutes each night when I can give my little girl a bath. Her joy for the water and rubber ducky warm my heart. I can have a terrible day, but seeing her in her little bathtub makes it all go away. I have always been a happy person; I’ve lived a blessed life filled with love, security and little heartache. How could I not be a happy person? I feel that happiness is contagious and I hope I’ve been able to spread mine to the people around me. I would love to leave this world knowing that I outwardly expressed my inward happiness. I know there have been times when the people closest to me have seen me upset or stressed, but I hope it was short-lived. Moving away from my family to Florence was really difficult and that wasn’t a happy time in my life. Although I loved being a newlywed, I suffered from terrible homesickness. Being away from my family and friends made me very sad. I was able to work though my sadness through prayer, direction from God and support from Justin. Life is way too short to be burdened by sadness and negativity. I will never forget the day I was driving down the interstate to my very last class as a college student. I can still recall the anxiety and apprehension I was experiencing as my world was about to completely change. Just the night before, Justin told me that a church in Florence, South Carolina, had contacted him about setting up an interview. To be honest, I’d never heard of Florence and was nervous about the thought of moving so far away. As I was driving to class, I prayed that God would guide us to where He wanted us to be and that His will would be done. Before I even got to Amen, a truck entered my lane. I quickly turned my head toward the nearing vehicle and couldn’t believe what I saw – the eighteen-wheeler was from a trucking company in Florence, South Carolina! I couldn’t help but smile and say out loud,“Okay, Lord. I got the point.” God’s awesomeness doesn’t end there. Two weeks later, I was teaching my eleventhgrade girls’ Sunday school class and the lesson was on recognizing signs from God. Obviously, I used my recent experience as an illustration. I had just shared my story with the girls when the Sunday School Director entered the room with a Christmas gift for me. I placed the package next to me and continued with my lesson. I didn’t make it very far before the girls talked me into opening the present. I unwrapped the gift, looked at what was inside and gasped. It was a canister of chocolate covered pecans from Young’s Pecans located in Florence, South Carolina! Without a doubt, I knew that God intended for us to be in Florence. I still struggled with some homesickness, but I was able to deal with it by reminding myself that God knew what He was doing by placing us in Florence. God is with me through the good and the bad. I am truly happy because I know that He will take care of me and my family. It’s this comfort that contributes to my happiness.

Amanda McAlpin and her husband, Justin, and their daughter, Claire, live in Florence. She works as a Marketing and Public Relations Specialist for McLeod Health.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 85

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my happiness. Slaughenhoupt

T

he Lord reveals Himself to me in amazing ways. He helps me to know what happiness really is. Happiness is a growing process; but, one in which when walking with Christ, is full of rejoicing. That doesn’t mean that obtaining and keeping happiness is always easy; however, I know His Word is true and all things pass through His hands before I even take a breath, a step or think a thought. Life was happy in 2000 when my family moved to South Carolina to be closer to my husband’s parents as they were in need of family being here. In June 2005, I was diagnosed with lupus. I never asked the Lord why because I knew that He had a plan in planting me in that soil. Just as we know where to plant our roses and vegetables for them to grow their best and share their beauty with all who gaze, He knows what soil to plant us in. The soil of lupus hasn’t been fun and has complicated things along the way; nonetheless, I was still happy because I knew Whose hand my life passed through first. In July 2006, my husband was unemployed due to circumstances beyond his control. Preparing for that occurrence, he had interviewed with many places and had a job lined up – perfectly timed by our standards. God’s plan, however, was different. The job was delayed for months. It finally began and ended two weeks later with a layoff. But, again, this, too, had passed through the Lord’s hands before even coming our way. Though my husband’s heart was heavy laden with responsibility for his family, he pressed on in the search for another job (which was, in itself, a full-time job). By God’s grace, part-time work came for him as a self-employed carpenter. The Lord met our needs as He always does. We learned a lot about new ways of cooking and we laughed a lot; we cried, too. His Word was my comfort again. “Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make your path straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6). Everywhere I turned – radio, books, letters from friends, songs – that verse would be right there. Jesus wanted me to fully understand that truth – His truth. Life was happy until November 2007 when I found a lump in my left breast. Having come from a family of much cancer, been diagnosed as BRCA1 Positive (a chromosomal defect only discovered fourteen years ago), lost a mother to breast/ovarian cancer syndrome and watched Mom’s sister battle breast cancer during one of Mom’s breast cancers, I realized that the Lord had now planted me in that same soil. I didn’t like it; but, again, it passed through His hands first. I called my OB/GYN who had been following me closely since we moved to the area because I was BRCA1 Positive. He ordered a mammogram and a breast MRI. We rejoiced when the mammogram came back clean; however, it didn’t last. I received that dreaded call from my doctor informing me that I had breast cancer, possibly invasive and it needed to be biopsied right away. I was 42 and 3 months, the same age as my mom’s first diagnosis. I didn’t look at the mammogram orders until I got to the imaging center for my appointment. At that time, I noticed it was for my right breast. I told the technician I was sure that was a typo because the lump was in my left breast. She checked with the radiologists, returned and said that it was the right. I didn’t know what was going on? I had the mammogram, but the nurse couldn’t find anything. I thought,“Praise Jesus! A miracle right here for me to rejoice over.” The nurse then went and read the images, came back and put my hand on a lower part of my right breast, way below the bra line. “Oh, my gosh!” I thought. I don’t know how I could have missed it; I’ve been doing self-examinations since I was a child because my mother taught me to be proactive. The results came back and surgery was necessary. After much prayer and discussion with my doctors, I had a bilateral mastectomy. At times, it was hard to be physically changed as a woman. Overall, however, it wasn’t that much of an issue. I leaned on the everlasting arms of my Savior.

Even then, I was happy. My days still started with the symphony of His birds and ended with an evening symphony of birds, crickets and frogs. Based on the type of tumor I had, the tumor board decided no chemo or radiation was necessary. We moved on with our life in Christ, in our music ministries and homeschooling our children. Along the years, I still battled ups and downs with lupus; but, with my family working together, praying, leaning on Christ and loving each other, we got through each day and welcomed the next. In December 2008, life took yet another road. I found another lump. I went to my OB/GYN again and he had me in the surgeon’s office within two hours. The lump was removed that day and I went on to direct a Christmas concert that night. I was sore, but the words of the songs the choir sang ministered to my soul, “Breath of Heaven, hold me together. Be forever near me, breath of Heaven.” Tears filled my eyes as the choir sang praises to His name and in such colorful chords. How could one not be happy when in His presence? I was very happy. The weekend went on. We played at various churches and rejoiced that Christmas was coming. I received a call the next week and was told that the mass was not scar tissue but malignant breast cancer. I thought, “Oh, Jesus, you must really want me in this soil, so I will continue to lay my life at the foot of Your cross and be the clay in the Potter’s hand.” Surgery was scheduled for December 30, 2008. The results of the nodes and surrounding tissue were clear and many of our friends began to celebrate. My family and I, however, held back because we couldn’t rest until we met with oncology. I had to have chemo and radiation this time and I was told that I had Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC). A TNBC diagnosis means that the offending tumor is estrogen receptor-negative, progesterone receptor-negative and HER2-negative; thus the name, triple negative breast cancer. Through this, we were able to teach many that until you have the results of the tumor, you don’t have the full picture. This soil of mine was getting tougher and tougher, but I knew this truth, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the lord,‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11). Just as in the desert soil of Nevada where the Lupines bloom in a wild array of colors, I was preparing myself to bloom in this barren soil. My tumor was high risk – relatively large, high grade and very rapidly growing. The doctors couldn’t find its source of origin, which happens to many cancer patients. That unknown leaves one to rely solely on the Lord’s hands for comfort. In speaking with doctors, it was clear that this tumor had proven its aggressiveness and its capacity to recur quickly. Having lupus was going to make this more challenging as lupus is an autoimmune disease and chemotherapy battles your system. My doctors moved quickly. (I’m so grateful for my team of doctors: Dr. Davidson, Dr. Pearson and Dr. Pavy. They are all wonderfully knowledgeable doctors who communicate well and have wonderful bedside manners, for which I am grateful.) Since TNBC does not respond to newer chemotherapies, I’m on an older set of intense medicines. The side effects are not fun; but, each day, I lay my life at the foot of His cross. I am happy. “This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24). Every day begins and ends with my Lord. Will we share His love with others in times of adversity? It’s easy to do so in times of victory and ease; but, the direction we are to go is His direction, even if the road is dark. Without those times of darkness and clouds, how could we even begin to see the bright colors in contrast, made brighter when on a darker canvas? God is my partner, my Father, my guide, my hope and my promise. I will “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again. Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4).

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my happiness. continuedJesus is my family’s rock, our redeemer and He is able to do exceedingly above and beyond what we can imagine. He guides our steps. My children are very sad and share tears and ask many questions at unpredictable times. I’m very close with my children and I rejoice over all that they do and all that God has instilled in their hearts. They pray for me and with me. I am so blessed to have such amazing children. I thank Dayna and Mark. I love them beyond the number of grains of sand, birds in the air, sunsets painted for us to see and hairs on our heads (or not). I thank Kurt, my husband of twenty years, for loving me when I have changed physically, when I have cried, when I have been weak and sick, when I have stumbled. He makes me laugh, wipes my tears, holds my hand and loves me even though I don’t look like I did on May 6, 1989. He has blessed me beyond measure. We have been through many colorful journeys with each color painted by the Lord, drawing my husband and me closer. Many never get the chance to learn what marriage really is. At weddings, the recitation is, “For better or for worse.” Many only hear the part about better and don’t think about the worse. My husband has lived through the better and the worse. That’s marriage. Kurt saw my heart and married my heart. For all who read this, I pray that your spouses look at and know your hearts. That and loving you for worse (if it should come first) or for better is marriage. We’ll all face rough times, whether they are financial, health, emotional or challenges in raising children. But, again, all situations pass through His hands. The Lord knew my family would walk this journey and, over the years, He has prepared us. The soil is not easily tilled by us; but, with the Gardener and Potter at the tiller, the results will be His. This soil of my life is His. I am happy. Even on days when I feel yucky, different joys fill my life. I see my children every morning. I hear their voices. I hear my daughter sing, play her flute, the piano and guitar. I hear my son talk of his passion of airplanes, play his trumpet and tell funny stories. I sing with my choirs and watch these teenagers that I’m blessed to work with grow in their relationships with Christ. I watch my husband press on each day, work hard to provide for his family, love his children, make us laugh, cook delicious things on the grill, play his trumpet and jokingly sing in his operatic voice. I could start counting my blessings and never stop. With His gift of salvation, I start my days with Him and end them with Him. He has given me two miracles in my children to watch grow and become young adults with servant’s hearts, loving their mother (despite how she looks) and caring for her in ways that are unyielding. May the Lord bless you this day in a way you don’t expect. May you rejoice in the simple things – nimble fingers, laughter, smiles, breathing, walking, colors of the sky and the trees and the flowers, the birds that sing and the final painting of the day when the sun sets. These are all gifts from above for us to revel in while we are on this earth serving Him to the best of our given abilities. May we all say to ourselves,“I am happy.” Look at what He has given to us and gives to us each day. How could we not be happy?”

Photo by Chastity Wilson, Graceful Images Photography Love Notes Benefit: In honor of the Slaughenhoupt Family, a benefit, which will include a chicken bog dinner and a concert featuring the Florence Symphony Orchestra, Florence Little Theatre Singers, Masterworks Choir, Borrowed Time and more, will be held at Church at Sandhurst located at 1140 Third Loop Road in Florence on Thursday, May 21, 2009. Dinner will be served from 5:30 PM to 7:00 PM. The concert will begin at 7:30 PM and continue to 9:00 PM. Tickets are $25 per person and may be purchased at Woofers, 2420 Hoffmeyer Road in Florence (669-8828). For more information, call the Florence Symphony Orchestra office (661-2541). Kristin Slaughenhoupt, her husband, Kurt, and their two children, Dayna (15) and Mark ( l7), live in Effingham. They attend Church at Sandhurst in Florence. Kristin and Kurt both play in the Florence Symphony Orchestra.

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my happiness.

Chandler

What Makes Me Happy: The one thing that truly makes me happy is knowing

What Makes Me Laugh: Being around the younger generation and listening to

Jesus as my Lord and Personal Savior. In this day and time, not knowing Christ would

their silly jokes and their own language makes me laugh.

make me most miserable. Knowing Him makes the difference in my life. It also gives me hope to face another day because I know He holds my future and I feel safe – and

My Prescription for Happiness: Read God’s Word, q.d. (every day); Pray, t.i.d.

happy.

(three times a day); Show love in spite of any situation, q.d. (every day); Fast, prn (as needed) (or when led by God);Always talk to Jesus, q.h.s. (every night at bedtime); Refill

When I Became Happy: I have had many trials and tribulations, ups and downs

as needed.

in my lifetime. When I came to know Christ, He gave me a peace that surpasses all understanding. With that came hope – and happiness. Other People Know I’m Happy Because . . . when I’m around, I feel as though they sense my positive spirit. How My Happy Spirit Affects Others: Having a happy spirit lifts others up when they may be going though something in their lives. That, in itself, makes my presence a positive aspect in those around me. My Faith and Love for the Lord Contribute to My Happiness: My faith and love for the Lord is a very important part of my life because each and every day, I strive to be what Jesus wants me to be. I want others to see His love and His compassion for others in me because the only Jesus some people may see is through my words and my actions. A Time When I Overcame Sadness and Became Happy Again: When I went through a divorce in 2007, I felt sad and alone. Nonetheless, through the pain, I stood on God’s Word and gave Him praise and glory. He restored me and He renewed the spirit in me. Today, I have a spirit of happiness, peace and joy which came by having a relationship with Him. The Funniest Thing that Ever Happened to Me: I told my oldest son to write a grocery list when he was about eight-years-old. When I told him to put chicken on the list, he asked how to spell chicken. My daughter said to him,“Just write ‘hen’; it’s the same thing.” That was the funniest thing and when I think about it now, it still cracks me up.

Carolyn Chandler is the mother of a daughter and two sons. She works at Complete Women’s Healthcare in Florence as a Medical Assistant/Phlebotomist.

Photo by: Chastity Wilson, Graceful Images Photography

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 89

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What Makes Me Laugh:

My donkey, horses and dogs are a constant source of laughter. Between the donkey, the seven horses and the ten dogs, there is always something silly going on. Little kids make me laugh, too. They are so uninhibited and honest. When your pants are getting tight, they don’t hesitate to tell you.

My Prescription for Happiness: Be happy with what you have, look at change as an opportunity, slow down and watch the sunrise or the sunset, listen more and talk less, take a nap in the grass on a sunny day, have faith in something larger than yourself, don’t be afraid to get dirty and learn to let go of things.

M

y husband, Jeremy, and I moved to Hartsville from Brevard, North Carolina, in 1989. He is a Building Inspector for Florence County. My father is a Professor at the South Carolina Governor’s School for Science and Mathematics (Dr.William C.Alexander). My mother is a Coordinating Teacher for Hartsville High School. I have two younger brothers, Dr.Troy Alexander (Optometrist with Pee Dee Eye Associates) and Chip, who is graduating from Charleston School of Law in May of this year. My family makes me happy. I teach high school Biology, I’m working on a Master’s Degree in Mental Health Counseling and I own Equine Intervention, LLC. Equine Intervention offers services in equine-assisted psychotherapy (EAP) and learning (EAL). I am a Certified Equine Specialist (certified through EAGALA: Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association) with twenty-six years’ experience with horses. My jobs and my classes make me happy. EAP and EAL is not therapeutic riding; in fact, there is no riding involved. All activities are done on the ground, which means anyone can participate. We’ve had clients from ages four to seventy-three and the less you know about horses, the better. Our facilitating team, which consists of an Equine Specialist and a Licensed Mental Health Professional, design activities to assist clients in finding new approaches to obstacles they are encoun-

tering on the road to leading healthy and happy lives. The horses create metaphors that parallel what is happening with people in reality. Horses are incredibly perceptive and offer incredible insight into what’s going on for people. If you want know about a person, look at his horse. EAP is an experiential form of counseling that allows people to work on issues right there in the moment in an emotionally-safe environment. EAP can help with a wide range of issues including (but not limited to) depression, addictions, anxiety, family conflict, adjustment problems, conduct disorders, defiant behavior and post-traumatic stress (just to name a few). There is nothing that can be addressed in traditional counseling that cannot be addressed in EAP. The difference is we set up activities to bring the issues experienced by the client to the surface so we can work through them in the moment. EAL offers a similar experience but is more about learning how to be more creative, improves communication, teamwork and improves decision-making and problem-solving skills. Our EAL programs are designed for athletic teams, youth and civic groups, small and corporate businesses. We also offer Women’s Wellness and Parenting Workshops. Currently, I work with a fantastic mental health professional, Lewis Foster, who offers an incredible therapeutic program at the Billie Hardee Home for Boys. I co-facilitate sessions in individual and family therapy and conduct various workshops with Madge Zemp, LPC. I also work with high school students in Chesterfield County School District that are at-risk for expulsion or dropping out of school in a program we call “Taking the Reins.” In two years, we have seen 34 of 42 students participating in our pilot program successfully complete the school year and remain enrolled or graduate. We’re seeing a decrease in the dropout rate in our pilot school, increased academic achievement, better classroom performance, decreased discipline referrals and improvement in a wide range of social skills, communication

Debby Alexander-Lynn

Horsing Around Debby Alexander-Lynn and her husband, Jeremy, live in Hartsville.

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skills, adaptability and self-esteem. I’m also actively working on a program for military families facing the challenges associated with pre-deployment, separation during deployment and post-deployment. My happiness (aside from my family and friends and work) comes from my horses. My mom held me up on my first horse when I was six-months-old old and they have been my passion ever since. My friend, Lewis, told me recently that I am following my bliss. He’s right. There is nothing that gives me more happiness than seeing my horses give other people the gift of unconditional acceptance, understanding, hope and happiness. Horses have gotten me through some of the worst times in my life and have been there in the best times. They are a constant source of comfort, empathy and in their humble, silent way, they have dried my tears, kicked up their heels to celebrate my joy and, when I needed it, promptly left me sitting in the dirt. I wanted to give that gift to other people; so now, through Equine Intervention, I get to share the healing power horses possess with other people. My horses don’t have to jump or trail or do dressage; they just have to be horses. When you walk into their pasture, they see the soul – not your clothes or your hair or the car you drove up in. They offer an opportunity for trust and to bridge the gaps between life and experiencing faith in something larger than yourself – a chance to be unconditionally loved and accepted as long as you offer them the same opportunity. It’s a relationship built on trust, safety, forgiveness, faith and healing. There is no ulterior motive or guesswork. When a horse moves, it means something. They are authentic and always true to themselves. I’m happy feeding them, cleaning them, cleaning up after them, doctoring wounds, riding them or just sitting and being with them. I can’t imagine any place that’s any happier or any closer to God. It makes me happy to offer others the opportunity to experience the gifts my horses have given – and continue to give to me every day.

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my happiness.

McCutcheon

“The Candy Lady” What Makes Me Happy: Just being makes me happy.

The Funniest Thing that Ever Happened to Me: I fell down the steps at my high school graduation. I had my college diploma mailed to me.

What Makes Me a Happy Person: My faith really makes life easier. What Makes Me Laugh: We humans and our attempts to control our uncontrollable lives makes me laugh.

Photo by Chastity Wilson, Graceful Images Photography

Try everyday to make the world a better place. My Prescription for Happiness:

I

‘ve had a pretty good life and no real reason to be unhappy. Being a positive person comes easily to me. Actually, it’s for a pretty selfish reason on my part; the world just looks better from behind a smile. I’m simply an aging hippie trying to put out good karma. There was a time in my life when I wasn’t so happy. In 2006, I was in a wreck and paralyzed for a short time. The support from my family, friends and co-workers was just unbelievable. I was fortunate enough to work at a place where everyone knew to pray for me and to pray for those taking care of me. They sure had a lot of patience. Learning how to walk again was hard! Thanks to all my good care, I was able to return to work in eleven weeks. The friend who nominated me as a feature for She Magazine’s “Happiness Issue,” Kim Harrington, said that I was a ray of sunshine to the patients I serve and to the people I work with. Although I’m not always a ray of sunshine, I am motivated to be that person because I believe everyone needs to feel loved and valued. Knowing that I’ve made a positive impact on the people around me makes me feel grateful to all the people who encourage me. I’m called “The Candy Lady” because, several years ago, we had a difficult night and I gave everyone a piece of candy to try to make the night better. The next night, the staff all wanted to know, “Where’s our sugar fix?” – and the tradition began. I love the title, but it’s all about the candy.

At the end of the day, I just want to give everyone around me a little love wrapped in a cellophane wrapper. Gail McCutcheon is from Lake City and still lives on the family farm with her mother, Eloree McCutcheon. Her only sister, Karen McCutcheon, lives in Effingham. Gail has been a nurse for 33 years and employed at Carolinas Hospital Systems for 23 of those 33 years (as of St. Patrick’s Day). Although she doesn’t have any biological children, she is “MammyGail” to Buffy, Ryan and Madison Roberts.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 93

happiness is

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my happiness.

Worthy by Ferebe Gasque

“H

appiness is not always just a feeling of joy. There are times when you have to choose to be happy. That’s where faith in God comes in because He gives the strength to make that choice on my own. “ Those were the responses of Pam Worthy when asked “What does being happy mean to you?” The list of things that make her happy is pretty lengthy. At the very top of Pam’s list is her family. She and Ray have been married for eighteen years and have three children, Raymond, Lisa, and Michael. The peace she receives daily from her personal relationship with God, the wonderful people with whom she works at the Hospice House, being able to bring comfort to patients, and meeting families of the patients all bring joy and blessings to her. Finally on the list, but certainly not least, is her horse, Booberry, who is her stress reliever. What makes Booberry happy is treats! As a little girl, Pam wanted to be a nurse – either with animals or with people. She never followed through, however, because she did not have the courage to go to nursing school. When she was working at Nations Bank and Ray was working for a finance company, they felt led to pray about changes in their lives. Pam’s job at the bank had benefits that covered the family. In order for her to go to school, God was going to have to provide a way. So, they prayed. God provided. About that time, a full-time position became available for Ray with the National Guard, whose benefits more than replaced those lost. Pam took the SAT and scored high enough to take both nursing and basic courses, confirming their decision. God also provided a generous scholarship through McLeod Hospital. At this point, they KNEW God had led them through the process. After graduating from Florence-Darlington Technical College, Pam immediately went to work at McLeod in the Coronary Care Unit, where she worked for almost two years. She moved from CCU to McLeod Family Medicine for several years. Two and one half years ago, she was home-schooling her two older children and wanted a more flexible schedule. Working all day long Monday through Friday did not leave enough time for school work. At that time, she began working PRN at the Hospice House. After four months, she became full-time. Six months later, Pam became Clinical Manager at the

Hospice House, where she continues to minister to patients and staff. People who have never had the wonderful experience of being involved with the Hospice House usually think that it is a sad, discouraging place. Quite the contrary. The primary goal of any hospice is to allow patients to die at home. Hospice provides the necessary supports to allow that to happen. Many people also think hospice services are only available to those with cancer. That also is inaccurate. Hospice serves people of all ages with end stage disease diagnosed by a physician and estimated to be terminal in six months or less. In 2005, McLeod Hospice House opened. Sometimes, those who are dying are not able to stay at home due to medical issues or the inability of the primary caregiver to provide adequate care. Hospice House allows those patients to transition from this earthly life to the next in an environment that is medically appropriate but one that is more personal than the traditional hospital setting. Families are encouraged to be involved and present. The Hospice House has twelve beds, which are usually filled. In addition to traditional medical services, social work, volunteer services, chaplaincy, and music therapy are also provided. As a special treat, Gracie (who is a loving, beautiful, and very spoiled cat) lives at the Hospice House. Pam says that, though she has loved all of her previous jobs, there was always something missing. For the first time in her nursing career, she feels as though she is doing what she was meant to do. She feels fulfilled. The Hospice House is not a negative place at all. There is so much joy and peace and contentment at the end of life. It is amazing to be able to see the blessings of God through the families of the patients. Walking with them through their experiences and struggles is an honor. Pam admits that she has a wonderful job with wonderful coworkers. Staff at Hospice House agree. Of course, her influence and positive, encouraging attitude add to the welcoming atmosphere. In conclusion, Pam relates,“The Lord has given me so many opportunities and blessings in my life; I am overwhelmed most of the time by His goodness. That’s one of the driving forces that makes me content. I am so blessed. Any struggles we go through, God gives us strength to get through. “

Photo by Chastity Wilson, Graceful Images Photography

On a personal note, it has been my honor to be Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House since November of 2007. The experience has changed my life. Much of the positive teamwork atmosphere is due to the leadership of Pam Worthy and her constant dependence on God. Ministering to patients and their families at the end of life is both a privilege and a responsibility. God has placed us there. And we are grateful. - Ferebe

An "Open Garden" (similar to an open house) for the new McLeod Hospice House Sensory Garden will be held on Wednesday, April 22, from 10:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m.The public is welcome and invited to attend this event. McLeod Hospice Volunteers will also be on hand to provide tours of the garden as well as the McLeod Hospice House.The McLeod Hospice Sensory Garden promises to be quite meaningful, as this special place touches the lives of patients, friends, and families for years to come. Ferebe Gasque is the Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, a Service Coordinator with Florence County DSN Board and an Independent Consultant with the Pampered Chef.®

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 95

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riginally from Ohio, my husband and I moved to Myrtle Beach because he would rather play golf than eat, drink or sleep. My daughter and grandson moved to the area soon after we did. When my husband passed, we were enamored with the area and chose to stay because by then, I, too, had fallen in love with golf and understood the virtues of fresh air, sunshine and the challenge of outwitting the greens and the perils within. While still in Ohio, I created Schooner Publications, Inc. in order to publish my book, Mr. Browne’s Roses. I chose self-publishing because my husband golfed almost every day of the week and it was impossible to keep a schedule that might entail travel. I started the sequel, Mr. Browne and the Rose Show, but it was left unfinished due to family obligations that continued for a number of years. However, I recently finished it and I’ve decided to publish it. Although I can’t readily say that writing is work, it’s not fun in the same sense as golf. I’m supposed to be retired, but anyone who knows me would sorely disagree because I’m constantly busy. I also purchase and manage real estate, but the current market leaves much to be desired. Playing golf and partaking of the many facets thereof makes me happy. What does that mean? Well, most people who aren’t aware of the game assume you just hit a little ball and try to find it; therefore, they don’t think it’s really challenging. Golf is not that simple. As a golfer, you are the sole factor in determining success despite the obstacles of distance, weather and green outlay. Will the ball break left or right? Are the greens fast? Those are only a few of the questions that determine your outcome.

Golfing makes me happy because there are no age restrictions. I can play golf until I’m too old to raise the club. Presently, I frequent several nearby courses because they are as challenging as the ones at the beach and more reasonably priced, which is a bonus during these difficult economic times. I especially like Dusty Hills. It’s kind of discouraging not seeing a lot of female participation, but that’s the same wherever I golf. There really should be more exposure so that women can understand the game and reap untold benefits in regards to their health. Also, golfing makes me happy because it provides an opportunity to spend some time with my grandson. Recently, he visited the course with me and also with his classmates. I’m hoping to replace part of his video game time with fresh air and sunshine. I’ve neglected to tell him about the mosquitoes and various hazards, though. Maybe I’ll tell him about those after more exposure to the plus factors. When I’m on the course I am autonomous and I know the possibility of becoming a better golfer always exists. I love a challenge and reaching goals. When I play golf, sometimes, I feel sore. I played at Dusty Hills recently after an absence due to the weather. My muscles were crying afterwards, but I accept that because I realize practice is necessary to remain physically toned. On the positive side, when I play, I’m in a zone. I turn off my cell and concentrate solely on the game and all it entails. Golf is a repetitive sport. I have to remember my stance, delivery and next move, coupled with the wind velocity, hazards and projected distance to the pin. Most importantly, I have to release any anguish

associated with the prior hole. The next hole presents an opportunity to make things right after a bogey or worse. When my husband, mom and best friend passed within months of each other, I thought the world had ceased to exist. I prayed hard and asked for strength to find a way to continue. I grieved and almost succumbed to the depths of self-pity. I prayed harder. Somehow, I allowed those rays of sunshine to bathe me with happy memories as opposed to sorrow. I recalled times on the golf course with my husband and childhood memories with mom. My best friend was my staunchest supporter. Without her, I don’t know if I would have taken that final step in writing my book. Eventually, I decided to count my blessings and look for opportunities to enrich the lives of others. I chose to remember the good things with my loved ones and, gradually, I saw the need to be thankful for the time I had with them as opposed to lamenting that which is inevitable. So, my prescription for happiness in life is to live life to the fullest and appreciate my blessings despite the magnitude. I’ve met a wonderful male friend who loves golf, real estate and most of what I enjoy – right down to devouring a bag of cookies on the heels of our never-ending “diets.” When I’m golfing, I walk the course and sing and hum and recite poetry. (Sometimes, I call myself names for missing a simple shot). In the final analysis, I’ve been blessed to witness another day.

M. Beatryce Shaw

Originally from Ohio, M. Beatryce Shaw presently lives in Mullins. She has one daughter, who is also her best friend, and one grandson.

playing golf.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 97

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My Family: I’ve lived in the Pee Dee since February 1978. After I began working at Francis Marion and my husband, Chip, began working for Florence County, we moved to Florence in December 1991. Our younger son is a single father who lives next door to us and our grandson visits regularly. Our older son, daughter-in-law and two granddaughters live in Maryland. Thank goodness for unlimited long distance and e-mail! My Work: My work is my family; my main job is Coordinator of Benefits at Francis Marion University since 1988. My second job is Church Organist at Macedonia United Methodist Church in Mullins. Each of these positions contributes to my happiness because I feel I am in the place(s) that God planned for me. Every day is not perfect and the road gets bumpy, but I know that God wants me there. When He gets ready to put me somewhere else, I’m ready to go. What Makes Me Happy: Family, music and nature make me happy. I’m happiest when all three are combined.

go to college to major in piano and organ. My father encouraged me to practice by requesting a special song each night after supper. He knew how to really listen and that spurred me to prepare just the right classical piece for him. (Even now, he’s listening in Heaven.) I practice and work on the technique, but God gave me the feeling and interpretation. That makes me happy.

with all styles of music and they worship through each one. Through music, I am fortunate to be able to help them worship, grieve and celebrate. That expression makes each occasion meaningful to our lives. My Prescription for Happiness: Find what feeds your soul and do it!

How I Feel When I Play: Music is how I commune with God – and He, with me. Sometimes, the communication comes easily; sometimes, it takes work. But, it always gives me peace and joy. Bringing Others Joy: My church, Macedonia United Methodist Church in Mullins, is so supportive of my music. They let me experiment

Playing the Piano and Organ Make Me Happy Because . . . I am secure in knowing that music is a gift that God gave to me. My grandfather recognized this early. He had no formal music training but was a song leader in our church and persuaded my parents to find a piano teacher for me. They sacrificed to pay for lessons throughout my childhood and high school years and made sure I was able to

Rebecca Culbertson my music.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 99

Uterine Fibroids Uterine Fibroids are benign (noncancerous) tumors that grow on or within the muscle tissue of the uterus. Approximately 2040% of women 35 years and older have fibroid tumors. Fibroids are more common among women of African-American descent.

Symptoms • Very heavy menstrual bleeding some times with clots • Pelvic pain or pressure leading to constipation and/or urinary frequency • Anemia - resulting in fatigue due to low blood count • Enlarged abdomen If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, you may be a candidate for Uterine Fibroid Embolization (UFE). UFE is a minimally invasive procedure designed to block the blood supply to these tumors resulting in resolution of symptoms and shrinkage of the tumors. Recovery time is usually less than one week.

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Sheroes

The Florence Chairpersons of Pictured (L to R): Michelle Bailey, Debbie Quick, Lynda Waller

Relay for Life

Submitted by Barbara Rodriguez, Community Manager American Cancer Society American Cancer Society’s Mission Statement: The American Cancer Society is the nationwide, community-based, voluntary health organization dedicated to eliminating cancer as a major health problem by preventing cancer, saving lives and diminishing suffering from cancer through research, education, advocacy and service.

R

elay For Life was started twenty-five years ago in Tacoma, Washington, by Dr. Gordy Klatt. Dr. Klatt, a Tacoma colorectal surgeon, wanted to enhance the income of his local American Cancer Society office and show support for all of his patients who had battled cancer. In May 1985, he spent a grueling twenty-four hours circling the track at Baker Stadium at the University of Puget Sound in Tacoma. He ran for more than 83 miles. That first year, nearly 300 of Dr. Klatt’s friends, family and patients watched as he ran and walked the course. Throughout the night, friends donated $25 to run or walk with Dr. Klatt for thirty minutes. His efforts raised $27,000 to fight cancer. Today, Relay For Life events take place in more than 5,000 communities and over eighteen countries, bringing 3.5 million people together to celebrate the lives of those who have battled cancer and to remember loved ones lost to the disease. The strength of survivors inspires others to continue to fight. At Relay, people who have walked alongside people battling cancer can grieve and find healing. Relay For Life also provides a way for people to fight back. We Relay because we have been touched by cancer and desperately want to put an end to the disease. Last year, Relay For Life events in the Pee Dee (Darlington, Dillon, Florence and Marion) raised over $542,000 dollars. The event begins with a powerful and inspiring “Survivors Lap.” In 2008, over 730 cancer survivors in the Pee Dee participated in the four walks. The registration for survivors is free and they receive a survivor-event T-shirt, hat and lapel pin. Each event has a “Survivor Reception” beforehand or the night of the walk. We want as many survivors as possible to attend; this event is for them! Relay For Life is a fun-filled overnight event designed to celebrate survivorship and raise money for research and programs of the local American Cancer Society. During the event, teams of people gather at schools, fairgrounds or parks and take turns walking or running laps. Each team tries to keep at least one team member on the track at all times. Teams do most of their fundraising before the walk with everything from pageants, poker runs, golf tournaments to bake sales and car washes.

Each Relay has entertainment all night with local performances, games and team fundraisers at their campsites. The Relay is open to the public and we invite everyone to come out and celebrate with the participants. Our luminary ceremony is held at 9 or 10 PM (depending on the Relay). This is a very moving ceremony! We turn off all the lights and let all the luminary bags shine. The bags are “In Honor” of anyone who is battling or survived cancer or “In Memory” of anyone who lost their battle. The luminaries are placed around the track. It is really beautiful. The Chairpersons for this year’s Relay For Life include Michelle Bailey, a six-year ovarian cancer survivor. Michelle works as the Marketing Manager at Health Facilities Federal Credit Union. She and her husband, Chris, and their tenyear-old son, Austin, live in Florence. Lynda Waller is a sixteen-year melanoma survivor. Lynda is the Administrative Director of the Cancer Program at Carolinas Hospital System. She has two sons and has lived in Florence for four years. A seventeen-year breast cancer survivor, Debbie Quick is a Registered Nurse at McLeod Health in Interventional Radiology. She and her husband, Larry, live in Florence and have a daughter, Ashley (23). These ladies lead the team captain meetings, are spokespersons for Relay in the community and recruit new teams and survivors. Anyone who has battled cancer is a hero, but getting involved by promoting awareness and early detection, fundraising for research and being advocates in their community make these ladies extra special. If any readers would like to participate in this year’s Relay For Life, please call our office at 843-536-0962 or visit our South Carolina website, www.screlayforlife.org. The locations and dates are: Florence, April 24th-25th, 7 PM at Freedom Florence; Darlington, April 24th-25th, 7 PM at Byerly Park in Hartsville; Dillon, May 15th-16th, 6 PM at City of Dillon Wellness Center; Marion, May 1st-2nd, 6 PM at Withlacoochee Park. Note: The Ladies are wearing “Fight Like A Girl” T-shirts. These shirts are available for a $10 donation and come in sizes Youth Small through 3XL. Contact our office at 843-536-0962 for more information.

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Proverbs 3:5-6

WHAT: Love Notes Benefit - in honor of the Slaughenhoupt family Join us for a chicken bog dinner and a concert featuring the Florence Symphony Orchestra, Florence Little Theatre Singers, Masterworks Choir, Borrowed Time and more! WHERE: Church at Sandhurst 1140 Third Loop Road, Florence WHEN: Thursday, May 21, 2009 Dinner served: 5:30-7:00 Concert: 7:30-9:00 HOW MUCH: tickets: $25 per person MORE INFO: For more information, call the Florence Symphony Orchestra office at 661-2541. Tickets may be purchased at Woofers 2420 Hoffmeyer Road in Florence (669-8828).

•Please see page 86 for the full story.

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Pots & Plans by Anna Kathryn Pitts

opefully, it’s no secret that I am happy. It seems only right that when we are happy, we show it. Surely I laugh loud and often enough. Surely I smile enough. Surely I give off more jovial vibes than frowns, scowls or downhearted gazes. As much as I have talked and shared about Brandon, I don’t think it surprises anyone when I share how very much in love I am with him. Perhaps you’ve heard that I’m due to graduate in May and procuring a Master’s Degree puts me that much closer to my much-desired goal of becoming a School Library Media Specialist. You may also be aware that I love my job now which allows me to visit schools and bring storytime to children, growing their excitement about books and their enthusiasm for learning. Laid out on paper like that, I cannot deny that each of these things makes me want to sing because I’m so thrilled about them! I would further describe my situation as being in a continuous state of elated anticipation – having so many wonderful and exciting opportunities brewing and simmering over their different burners and knowing that any moment now, I could be sitting down to enjoy a long-awaited culinary success. If I lost you in my analogy, I apologize; but, the idea of comparing the chaos of a busy kitchen to what life is like for me right now and explaining how I find happiness amidst all the craziness seems so fitting. I have a sundry of things going on that each require such distinctive ways of dealing with them, whether it is patience to wait or zealousness to tackle. One may require that many steps to be completed quickly and in a particular order while others need only to be watched and waited on to boil from afar. Each area requires its own unique recipe and instructions. I definitely enjoy being in this kitchen. I’m happiest when whisking and frying, planning and testing. I’m certainly not so haughty, though, as to claim that I’m doing a good job or having an easy time of following the directions. Much of the time, I truly feel I’m just guessing, eyeballing my measurements and making adjustments based on my gut. From the outside perspective, I may appear to be the confident cook, but what you don’t know about me is that I am very indecisive about the next step I should take. Much of what I do feels like I’m a contestant on Food Network’s Iron Chef America – you get what you get, work with what you’ve got and pray for a miracle. Sometimes, the pantry is filled with great ingredients easily matched to create a beautiful work of art. Others leave me grappling for some crazy casserole recipe that just allows me to stay in the game. There are hits and there are misses.

Happiness certainly does not equal contentment. My heart longs for so many things. I want to, literally, have a kitchen of my own one day soon and decide on my own menus and shop to stock my own pantry. Don’t misunderstand me, I absolutely love living with my parents now and I really value their generosity in letting me stay so close until I have my bearings. Finishing school allows me to consider and search for promotions and other career options that would make it possible to find a place of my own. Brandon and I definitely want to be geographically closer to one another and my graduation opens up several more doors and opportunities for relocation. I have the dreams and wishes of any young woman my age and situation and all the plans for carrying them out when the time comes. Every day, I find myself wishing for the next and any move that might bring those dreams closer into sight, but my happiness does not depend on those things. It is solely based on the fact that I’m even in the kitchen to begin with, enjoying the opportunities and promises of the future! There are several blogs I follow and, recently, a friend of mine compared her journey through life to a lamp-lit path – one that is illuminated but barely past the tips of her toes. She coupled that thought with Psalm 119:105, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” She went on to say that even though the path is seemingly not well lit and she has no real idea where she is going or what her next step is, she has no feelings of despair or insecurity. In fact, she feels very secure and she found great comfort and encouragement in Colossians 1:17,“He is before all things. In Him, all things hold together.” I can very deeply identify with these thoughts. Perhaps I should be scared or unsettled not knowing what to do next, whether to choose A or B. I have no idea what God is cooking up in my life or how the meal will ultimately turn out, but I do know that, in the end, I will eat well and be overwhelmingly satisfied. While I am so completely ready in my mind to get the table set and the food served, once again I realize the plan is not about me. I’m only one small part of a much larger plan and my lamp-lit path, however dim, is being lead by the high chef of this kitchen. At the very least, I can expect a wonderful meal full of mysteriously exotic flavors and aromas to spice up my jumbled makeshift pantry. My hasty casserole and boxedup brownie mix will be replaced with a four-course meal, complete with dessert. Right now, I’m just making preparations for the party – and we all know I love a good party.

Anna K. Pitts lives in Florence where she works at the Drs. Bruce and Lee Foundation Library doing children’s storytimes. She is vigorously pursuing her Master’s Degree in Library Science at USC. Go Gamecocks!

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104 • April 2009 • She Magazine

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 107

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PERMISSION to be Happy by Ouida Page

W

hat does it mean to be happy? What is the definition of happiness? Webster’s Dictionary gives the following definitions: having, showing or causing a feeling of great pleasure; contentment, joy, glad or pleased; cheerful with a steady display of bright spirits; elated, optimistic and fortunate. Does this sound like you? Maybe you have happiness in your life and don’t really know it because you look at other people and think that they are happier than you. The author, Montesquieu says, “If one wishes to be happy, this can be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other people and this is always difficult since we believe others to be happier than they are!” I believe we all look at other people and their situations (i.e. their marriages, houses, cars, children, etc.) and we may think, “If I just had that kind of husband” or “If my house was like that, I would be so happy.” In fact, we don’t know what we’re talking about. In many cases, when you think you know people and who they really are, you don’t really know them at all. There are many things that people hide or just don’t express in public, including attitude. Some people put on a happy face, but they are definitely not happy and act in a very different way at home. One of the greatest things that you can do is to allow yourself to be happy by giving yourself permission to be happy. The secret to happiness can be that you only need to give yourself this permission. Some people search for happiness their entire lives and it’s right under their nose – so to speak. Individuals looking for the perfect mate will attract wonderful people when they are already satisfied and happy with their own lives. Don’t try to be perfect and always have the answers. Learn to relax and let go and have fun. Find hobbies and things to do that are exciting for you. Develop new interests and try new stuff that you haven’t done before. Some examples would be getting a blackberry and perfecting its use, learning a new language, learning to plant a vegetable or flower garden and working outside in your yard. These are all mentally stimulating exercises and keys to maintaining sharp mental acuity. It’s important to allow yourself to be genuinely who you really are – the real-true-original you. I believe a person who feels comfortable and confident with who they really are can be a very happy person. They don’t have to try and impress other people. They enjoy their lives and express their attitudes and personalities in a healthy optimistic way. Why do people (specifically women) play the martyr? It’s like using guilt in a nice way to get what they want without directly asking for it. A definition of a martyr would be an individual who assumes an attitude of self-sacrifice or suffering in order to arouse feelings of pity or guilt in others. These women refuse to give themselves permission to be happy. They like attention but are trying to obtain it in a very negative way. Instead of helping people as servant-leaders, they are helping with the attitude that they have to help but really are not happy about it at all. It’s like they have no choice in the matter – but all of us have choices. Some of these martyrs have been behaving this way for so long, they have forgotten that they are acting this way. Initially, they began using guilt to get their way

Ouida K. Page is a Licensed Professional and National Board Certified Counselor. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing and is a member of Sigma Theta Tau (International Honor Society of Nursing). She has been in private practice in the Hartsville and Florence areas for over 15 years, specializing in families and issues relating to children, adolescents and women of all ages. She is married and has one son who has graduated from Wofford College. You may contact her by e-mailing [email protected] with “Ouida” as the subject matter.

and moved into the martyrdom role. They have developed very unhealthy relationships and don’t know how to change their behavior or situations. It’s so much easier to give yourself permission to be happy and to allow yourself to share your feelings with people. It takes work and time to develop healthy relationships where there is a give and take. These kinds of relationships are by far the most rewarding and are the only healthy way that you can get your needs met and meet the needs of the other person involved. No one person should do all of the giving and certainly no one should do all of the taking. It’s time to appreciate yourself and who you are and be thankful for the gifts and talents that you – as an individual – possess. So, go look in the mirror and give yourself permission to be happy.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 109

Embrace Beauty

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Going somewhere? Don’t forget to pack your

She!

Laney Brisbon, Kaitlyn Bailey & Brittany Gainey January 2009 She Magazine She Magazine goes to Washington, DC, for the Inauguration of the 44th President with Laney Brisbon, Kaitlyn Bailey and Brittany Gainey, students at Mayo High School for Math, Science & Technology in Darlington, SC.

Carey Steen January 2009 She Magazine

Luau staff, Mirah and Kurt Welday, Lindia White, Jan Holder and Luau staff November 2008 She Magazine “Last November, we traveled to Oahu, Hawaii, to visit Lindia’s daughter and son-in-law, Mirah and Kurt Welday. Here we are at the Polynesian Cultural Center for a Luau. We had the best tour guide and hosts ever, traveling all over Oahu viewing the sights for twelve days. We took She Magazine with us everywhere. It was a trip to remember!”

“I took my She Magazine with me on a recent trip to Los Angeles, CA, and it made the five and a half hour flight “fly” by. Here I am stopping to take a picture with my She Magazine along the Pacific Coast Highway.” - Carey Steen, Hartsville, SC

To be featured in “There She Goes,” send an e-mail to [email protected]. Include a picture of yourself (friends welcome!) with a copy of She Magazine along with a brief description.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 111

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When Happiness

XÄâwxá

by Carol Adams, PhD Elaina couldn’t remember a time in her whole life when she had really been happy. Oh, there were times when she could put up a front for a while, but sustain a happy mood? – just not possible. Even as a child, she never seemed to fit in. She never had really close friends and Lord knows, her family was too busy working and doing their own thing to notice or even care (at least it seemed that way). She married during her sophomore year of college and dropped out. He, too, ultimately had to drop out when she became pregnant. Now, at 29, she was saddled with a husband who drank too much, stayed out too late and did heaven-only-knows-what-else while she stayed at home all day with three children, ages eight, six and four. Again, nothing she did ever seemed enough for anyone – not her husband, her children or her parents. She spent most of her day in her nightgown. She couldn’t push herself enough to keep the house clean or the laundry done. She felt down all the time, cried a lot and, let’s face it, her husband just didn’t want to come home to her and the mess anymore.

T

As strange as this scenario seems to some people, there are a lot of individuals who experience a similar kind of life. They don’t know where to turn and feel almost exiled by the world in terms of finding someone who cares. We all seek joy and satisfaction in our lives. Some people seem to exude happiness. For example, one of our young doctors at the residency program was recently described by her peers as “always happy.” They went on to say that she makes them feel good just by being around her because of her smile, her upbeat attitude, her friendliness and willingness to help. What a compliment! There are others, however, who have a much harder time achieving this. How do they cope with the world? Just as importantly, how do others relate to them? Depressed individuals have little energy for anything. They feel a helplessness to make

things better. They cry easily and can find very little in their world to be happy about. These symptoms are typically accompanied by many negative feelings about themselves that often include guilt, shame and a sense of worthlessness. Some billboards around town that I have just recently noticed target depression. They read things like,“Would you tell a diabetic to simply get over it?” Yet, that’s what a lot of depressed people are told. “Just get busy and forget about it” – the old pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps thing. No wonder it’s so hard for chronicallydepressed individuals to seek treatment. Certainly, it’s not easy to relate to people who are chronically depressed. They withdraw from activities and from other people, so just being around them isn’t easy. When you are, they’re not usually easy to be around. Their sense of self-worth is low and they are often not very communicative. At times, others even erroneously conclude that they are “stuck up” because of their detached manner. Just imagine if you were on the other side and you were the one feeling the depression and all those other symptoms. It can feel like a dark hole that you just can’t seem to get out of. Also, now we know that depression changes our biology to the extent that we are more likely to have cardiovascular disease. I just read a study that suggested that depression in women is predictive of coronary artery disease. If we have a major illness such as diabetes, we are more likely to have complications from the disease if we also have concomitant depression. Like Elaina, there are those individuals who seem to have always suffered from depression. Many had a disruptive or chaotic childhood or have suffered other major challenges in their lives such as spousal abuse, family illness or death. I had a depressed patient tell me once that suffering from depression felt like she was watching life pass her by; no one noticed or cared that she was not participating and she felt at a loss to know what to do to turn things around. The important thing to remember, however, is that depression really can be improved. Yes, antidepressants are helpful to a lot of people; but remember, medication can’t do everything. Research has demonstrated over and over again that the combination of medicine plus therapy is the best possible predictor of improvement. When you have thoughts, feelings and beliefs that keep sending negative messages through your head, medication alone typically isn’t enough. The “Dear Abby” suggestion to “seek counseling” really is important for treating depression. Coming to understand the way we interpret the events around us and the things we say in our own heads are both very important. Understanding our basic beliefs about ourselves and life is important. We can make changes in all these areas. Some people say, “It’s learning to think positively.” That’s a big over-simplification; it’s so much more than that. It’s really tracking your thoughts and feelings over time, learning how to challenge the rather drastic way we can interpret events going on around us by always asking what’s the evidence that I’m correct in my interpretation? What are my underlying beliefs about the world? For example, I see a friend walking toward me on the street. Just before she gets close to me, she crosses the street without speaking. I can interpret that as her not wanting to speak to me (and make some attribution about that) because I didn’t go to her Pampered Chef party, but I really was sick! Then I decide that she crossed the street because she is mad at me and doesn’t want to have to speak. “No wonder she wouldn’t want to speak to me,” I reflect, “I’m not worthy of her friendship. No one likes me anyhow.” Further investigation, however, may well reveal that she was running late for an appointment and her car was parked across the street. She was so focused on this that she didn’t even see you there. You’re having all these feelings about your friend (and yourself) and she is totally unaware of them. That’s one simple little example of how we can “misread” events around us. If you really think about it, you probably could find lots of cases where you’ve done that very thing. Depression can come about as a result of the way we interpret our problems in life. Learning to examine the thoughts and beliefs we have connected to our moods, behaviors, experiences and events in our lives can lead to change. That change can, in time, lead to happiness. Remember, it’s our perception of an event or experience that results in how we feel – emotionally and physiologically. Perceptions can sometimes be wrong. Happiness can be just around the corner – just past the therapist’s office. Carol Adams, PhD, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with McLeod Family Medicine Center in Florence.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 113

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Happiness

In Pursuit of

by Rebecca J. Blair

Happiness is such an odd thing.

As Biblical instructor, Beth Moore, says, “Happiness is an affirmative response to externals,” reasoning that happiness cannot be found in and of ourselves and, most importantly, that it depends completely on our circumstances and surroundings. This is the type of happiness after which the world chases. It is the be-all and end-all of modern human existence. We equate being happy with feeling good and if we don’t feel good, we immediately think that something is wrong and we are left unhappy. I would like to turn our modern definition of happiness on its head – or at least clarify it somewhat. Happiness is a topic that has always been in the forefront of my mind. As a child, I experienced depression and anxiety and, as the years continued, my sense of melancholy and meaninglessness (at times) would overtake me. To me, there was no absolute truth. There was not necessarily a God and, if there was, I thought He didn’t like me very much. Psychologists call this “existential meaninglessness” and it lies at the heart of the greatest human miseries. When we believe and thus behave as if there is no God, life has little meaning. Left unchecked, it can lead one into many realms of misery in order to get through the night. On a larger scale, we see this in countries (both currently and historically) that have wandered from their religious beliefs only to witness previously unimaginable atrocities become commonplace. There are many reasons we all engage in sin – all in the name of happiness. Sometimes, it’s not even sin, just an attempt to feel right. Whether destructive or not, it is “a chasing after the wind.” First, as a seeker and, then, a new Christian, I poured over the book of Ecclesiastes. It was a relief to read that thousands of years ago, King Solomon (known for his tremendous wisdom) had contemplated these very dilemmas. He concluded that life (as we so often live it) is meaningless, “a chasing after the wind.” He saw that men and women were born with nothing, worked all their lives – “toiling for the wind” –and then died with nothing to show for their heartache and labor. Thank goodness Solomon did not leave us with this unhappy observation but rather pushed through to uncover the purpose of this human life. Solomon concluded at the end of chapter five, “Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him; for this is his lot. Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work; this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart” (Ecclesiastes 5:18-20). Perhaps your reaction is different; but, for me, this is a huge, stop-the-car moment. It is a call to return to simplicity. Not a simplicity of mind, as some would have it (certainly Solomon’s wisdom would serve as a good argument against that), but it is a call to simplicity of purpose. When we live with an attitude of satisfaction towards whatever it may be that God gives us, we find happiness. Only in God does life have meaning and true pleasure. Without Him, nothing truly satisfies; but, with Him, we can find enjoyment even in the most difficult or mundane of circumstances. Our true pleasure as human beings comes from acknowledging, knowing and revering God. I realize that some of you might not share my spiritual views. I was once in your shoes. Yet, after I annihilated all my intellectual objections to faith, I realized that my true obstacles were believing that God wanted to love me and would satisfy me. Although I knew that the world’s answers had failed me in a sense, as I had been so utterly miserable, I was still hesitant to believe that God would extend this gift to me. The thought of a boring, Sunday-school filled life was torturous; so, I continued in my search for happiness. As I matured spiritually, I grasped the concept of how different happiness is from joy. I studied the original Biblical Hebrew and Greek word meanings to see what differences and similarities appeared. I discovered that Biblically and semantically, happiness is a state of partaking in joy. It is the state of being blessed, of rejoicing, of keep-

ing one’s courage up, of being of good cheer. Happiness simply is being joyful – and joy is a fruit of the spirit, one which we receive when we are connected to the Lord and abide in Him. Joy always comes as an outpouring of something God is doing. It’s especially the days when we feel emotionally under the weather that we need to be able to experience God’s joy. We can do that by cultivating a habit of appreciating the many simple pleasures He weaves into our lives. Sure, there are those grand moments like salvation and giving birth that are amazing and uplifting; but in the day-today business of life, we need to be able to literally stop and smell the roses. Examine the beauty of the flora as it returns from its winter slumber. Marvel in wonder at the sight of a meadow filled with wildflowers. Drop to your knees in awe at the glow of a harvest moon. In doing so, remember the Creator who lavished these gifts of beauty upon us. When the world is ugly, God always has something beautiful He longs to show us. So, to be happy, stop chasing after the wind. Make a determined effort to find your satisfaction in God first. I don’t mean in doing for Him as Mary and Martha illustrate (Luke 10:38-42); I mean in just spending time at His feet which is His desire. Ask Him to open your eyes to His wonders, including you, yourself. Ask Him to speak to you and to tenderize your heart to receive His loving gifts of simple joys. Then, Dear Reader, I hope that you will find a divine kind of happiness.

Rebecca J. Blair manages the counseling office of Janet R. Sims, P.A., in Florence. She lives in Lake City with her husband, Michael, their three dogs and a cockatiel. Connect with her on Facebook.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 115

Ladies Day! Every Tuesday Check out our pro-shop geared especially for women! Latest Callaway Bags, shoes, watches, handbags, Coach, UGG

Coker College: U.S. News & World Report ranks Coker College in the Top Tier of Best Baccalaureate Colleges for 2009. This is the 13th consecutive year that the national magazine has named Coker one of America’s Best Colleges. It is ranked 16th out of 102 small liberal arts colleges in the South. According to The Princeton Review, it is one of the top colleges in the Southeast. Florence-Darlington Technical College: has a satellite office in Hartsville. The South Carolina Governor's School for Science and Mathematics: ranked among the Top 20 best academic secondary schools in the nation.

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April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, a time to raise awareness about child abuse and neglect and encourage individuals and communities to support children and families.

Through the

Eyes

of a

Child by Katy Brown

magine that you are eight-years-old. You enjoy riding your bike, jumping on the trampoline and having sleepovers with your friends. Now imagine that you are a victim of a crime – a crime committed by someone so close to you that you consider them a parental figure and you look up to them for guidance and support, a crime so personal that you are too embarrassed to tell anyone – even your parents or best friend. You have tried to pretend that it didn’t happen, hoping it would go away. You think about it all day and even dream about it at night. Finally, you get the courage to tell. You pour your heart out to your mother, telling her everything you can remember. It has been weeks since the incident and you have forgotten some of the smaller details. Your mother brushes off your disclosure and tells you that you have a vivid imagination because she does not believe that that person would ever do anything like that. So, you never mention that horrible event to anyone else. Instead, you hold it in and continue to let the memories of the incident cloud your thoughts and dreams. Several weeks pass and the thoughts of that day are still with you. They no longer haunt your dreams each night or consume your thoughts during the day, but there are moments when your mind wanders back to the traumatic event. One day, when walking down the hall at school, you hear of a girl who has been victimized the same way you were so many weeks earlier. As the day goes on, you learn more and more about the details of her crime. Your thoughts shift to your past experience and you wrestle with your emotions for the remainder of the day and you are awake most of the night. You wake up the next morning and decide that you can no longer hold it in. As soon as you get to school, you tell your homeroom teacher, whom you trust will take you seriously and get you the help you need. Once you have told the teacher, she contacts the guidance counselor, who then contacts the school principal. The principal calls social services and a caseworker comes in and asks you to repeat your story again while

she takes notes. A law enforcement officer shows up with a gun on his hip and you have to repeat your story a fifth time and then answer questions about the event. In the meantime, your parents have been contacted and have now arrived at school. After you have answered everyone’s questions, they recommend that you go to the hospital for a medical examination. Once there, the medical staff asks you even more questions and looks at every part of your body, even the secret places. After being at the hospital for hours, you are told that you can go home and that law enforcement will follow-up with you. When you get there, word has spread throughout your family and many of them are waiting to hear your story. There is a lot of grown-up talk going on and you know it is about you because it immediately stops when you enter the room. For hundreds of children in the Pee Dee Area, this is reality. The Durant Children’s Center is here to help children in those situations. The Durant Center offers videotaped forensic interviews and medical examinations in a child-friendly environment. Medical services are provided by Dr. Olga Rosa, who currently serves as the Medical Director for the South Carolina Children’s Advocacy Medical Response Systems, as well as Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at the University of South Carolina, School of Medicine in Columbia, SC. Durant Children’s Center also offers individual, group and family therapeutic counseling to children and non-offending parents. We also provide advocacy and support and accompany families to court. Child abuse does not only affect the victim; it affects the entire family. The staff can also provide training for professionals or present information to any civic group or organization. Another resource available to children at risk for abuse, distressed parents seeking crisis intervention or concerned individuals who suspect that child abuse may be occurring is ChildHelp Pee Dee, a 24-hour, toll-free hotline where calls can be made anonymously, 1-866-867-9857. For more information about the Durant Children’s Center, please call 843-664-HELP (4357).

843-664- H

her husband, Brian. She is lorence with the Family A ves in F dvocate for i l n w o the Durant r B Children’s C Katy enter

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 117

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Happy Homes & Happy

Children Hide-and-Seek is a favorite at our house. What about yours? In such a busy, hustle-bustle world, raising happy children and injecting fun into every day may seem like just one more thing on a long to-do list. You may not realize what a benefit this will have for you as parents. We get so bogged down in teaching our kids, we forget to enjoy them. Not to mention creating a fun, happy, warm home will help you and your children weather the storms of parenting and childhood. You’re it! We have so much control over our children’s lives – “Wear this! Do that! We’re late! Don’t do this!” Play is a chance to give them control. It can be a place where you give undivided attention and play along with their goofy rules. For example, when playing checkers, one child’s rule might be for the mother to put the checker on her head after she’s been jumped. Trust me, it’s hilarious and your children will feel that you’re willing to play along with their rules, too. Play is a safe arena to allow your children to express their feelings of power without it threatening your daily household agenda. You’ll be surprised how fair they are and how motivated they are for you to have fun, too. Don’t be too rigid; up can be down, black can be white and coloring can be out of the lines. Everything isn’t a lesson. Let them pick their own clothes, even if you limit the options. Let them pick which pencil to use for homework, even if it’s across the room. Let them pick rice or potatoes for dinner. If you sneak in feelings of power and control throughout their day, they’ll be less apt to teach you who really is in control by throwing tantrums or defying you. Play is the perfect place to allow them to feel loved and strong. Watch their eyes while you’re playing; they look to see if there is affirmation, acceptance or rejection in your actions. If you inject fifteen minutes of

by Lea Pritchard-Boone, PhD

play with your children each day, you’ll see a difference in their happiness, their compliance – and your patience! Clean Freaks: Okay, I know this one will be tough for some of us moms, but what’s the deal with a little messiness? (I’m ducking in case you’re throwing the magazine across the room.) I didn’t say,“What’s wrong with total chaos?” did I? We restrict our children’s fun (and their learning, for that matter) by denying them activities or supplies that are messy. Rarely do children get to play with paint, glitter or glue anymore. These are fun and exciting art supplies that open up a world of creativity. If your home is pristine and cannot manage these supplies, then, as a fun parent, you’re imprisoned by your possessions and your obsessiveness. (Okay, so now the magazines are really flying.) Don’t be a prisoner. Use your home and live in it. It’s okay that others know children live there, too! Let’s compromise. Do the glitter outside, paint the sidewalk or deck that can be hosed off (adding a little dish soap to your washable paints make for a fun time and squeaky-clean clean-up) and do the glue with supervision. (See “You’re It” above and join in their play.) Teaching clean-up after play is important, too. Just make sure play gets to happen. “I don’t want her to cook with me because it’s too messy and takes too long.” “I don’t want him to help me dust because he doesn’t do a good job.” Loosen up! There are lessons in that play; don’t miss ‘em. What’s wrong with a little flour fight in the kitchen (women all over Florence just fainted!) as long as everyone helps clean up? Laugh at Life: Why is that we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? Any Seinfeld fans out there? Life is hilarious! As parents, we’re so bogged down in the realities of life, we don’t think about its absurdities. Laugh at yourself and your spouse and let yourself be laughed at, too. Building up a little tolerance and sense of humor is an important lesson for children to learn. “Guess what Mommy did today? Seriously, I put the milk in the cabinet and the Pop Tarts in the fridge. I think all that work at the office has got Mommy loopy!” “Daddy drove right past the house on his way home. Silly Daddy.” It’s okay for your children to know you’re human and are humored by some of your errors. They make mistakes all the time. We remind them, point them out and sometimes even punish these small mistakes. Let them know that sometimes life is just funny. (It is, isn’t it?) Sometimes they forget things and it’s infuriating. Take a deep breath and ask yourself, “Is it really that big a deal?” A little forgiveness and humor goes a long way in handling frustration. Teaching your children to forgive by doing it yourself will inject fun and coping into life’s natural roller coaster. Happiness IS Understanding: Be understanding. Look from their point of view. Children want to please you; but, sometimes, the obstacles feel insurmountable to them. Fall in love with your child over and over again. Breathe a fresh breath of patience and, yes, have a tickle war that you let yourself lose. Understand that you are their everything and that you have so much power in their developing happiness. You did great with the ABCs, potty-training and that third-grade Science drama, but teaching happiness and enjoying life is the one thing – the one thing – that will protect them internally from all the struggles that will inevitably meet them along their life’s path. Give them the tools of coping, fun and loving themselves. Wouldn’t the world be so different if we all did that? Just imagine.

Dr. Lea Pritchard-Boone is the mother of Dalton (3) and wife to Austin. She is Psychology Fellow of the LifeCare Psychology Group, LLC (formerly known as the Behavioral Health Group), in Florence and focuses primarily on treating children and adolescents.

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What flips your Happiness Switch?

1

Gene Grimsley - Florence “Seeing happy children and parents who love them.”

2

Tenny Moss - Florence “Making my wife happy. The saying, ‘If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!’ is true. But, even that doesn’t matter to me because I’m still the happiest when doing things to make her happy.”

3

Jimmy Rhodes - Florence “Smiling faces, beautiful smiles make me happy.”

4

James Jolly - Hartsville “That’s easy. My two-year-old son, Sebastian. He’s just a ball of positive energy, always on the go, laughing freely and fascinated by everything. Being his father and watching him grow up (too fast!) and interact with the world makes me happy above all else.”

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 123

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Happiness is in Happenings by Kenyon Powers There’s a song that goes, “Happy days are here again.” Will people be singing that song when all the problems we’re having blows over? When will that be? In a year or two? If people do sing this song, that means happiness must have gone somewhere. Why is that? It’s because happiness is in happenings. It comes and goes depending on our circumstances. “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!” I’m thinking right about now that there’s not a whole lot of clapping going on. As of March, South Carolina had 10% unemployment – the second highest in the country! What is there to be happy about? Our circumstances change like the weather. We can’t have absolute control over our happiness because it’s uncontrollable. We’re not in control of all the factors. I know lots of people who don’t (in the world’s eyes) have anything to be happy about. I’m living among them as I write you now. I’ve been a missionary in the former Soviet Union for almost eleven years and I’ve witnessed firsthand some lives – lots of lives – that are totally miserable. People in the former Soviet Union haven’t had much happiness for decades. Their circumstances were chosen for them. America is having it tough, you say? You have no idea. I came to Ukraine to try and explain to the people that they must not depend on their circumstances for their happiness but depend on something way deeper than that – something that is anchored so deep that no matter what, they can have joy that outweighs their terrible circumstances. Their joy has to be found in something that is constant and never changing. (Maybe I need to come back to America and explain this there; but, for now, I’ll write this letter.) Jesus provides this joy. You may not have a single reason to be happy. Your life could be so miserable, but you can still be joyful. Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” It doesn’t talk about happiness. Happiness is not a promised result of living for Jesus, but joy is. We are not promised happiness as a result of knowing Jesus, but we are promised joy if we abide in Him. I was born and raised in Florence. No harm there. It was a great place to have been born. I didn’t have any control of that. I just lucked out – or did I? I had a good family. Boy! I was lucky! No, luck had nothing to do with it. My circumstances didn’t just happen. God was in control. Nothing happened that He wasn’t aware of. God’s not concerned about whether we’re happy or not. He is concerned about where we are looking for our happiness. He watches people pursue happiness just like our American Declaration of Independence gives us the right to. But that’s all it is – the right to pursue it rather than to have it. We can pursue it, get it and watch it leave over and over again. Who says money can’t buy you happiness? I’ve bought things that have made me happy. There are people constantly spending money and they are happy doing it, but does it last? Does it satisfy? What happens when the money runs out? What have you got then? Reality is what you have and, right now, some people’s realities have become their worse nightmares. They’ve lost their jobs, their homes, their cars, their marriages. They’ve lost everything they were depending on for their happiness. This may be you. This may be your reality. Maybe you’ve depended on things to make you happy and now your things are gone. Maybe it’s time to depend on something else, someone else who can give you joy no matter what your circumstances. Maybe you’ve experienced this joy but find it harder to muster up because you’ve let a lot of your security rest in the wrong things instead of in Him. It’s not too late to get this joy back up to the surface where it belongs or to get it for the very first time. Jesus is in control. He knows what you need. He’ll look after you if you’ll trust Him and give Him first place in your life. These hard times just might be what the doctor ordered. No, I know they are and God has allowed them for a reason – His reason. He wants to be number one in your life. There’s another tune. You probably know it, but have you experienced it? “I’ve got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart, down in my heart, down in my heart. . . .” The joy is in Jesus!

Kenyon Powers and her husband,Timmy, are both from Florence. They moved to Kiev, Ukraine, as missionaries in 1998. She shares their crazy adventures in her book,The Lighter Side of a Serious Mission, as seen at powers.weebly.com. Feel free to contact her at [email protected].

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 125

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From the kitchen of Marjie B. Martin

Carrot Cake

This Carrot Cake is one of the best that I have ever

Small Business Award for the Year in 2005.

eaten. Years ago, I was playing around with several recipes and

God blessed me with a family that has helped me with

came up with this one. Every time I serve it, someone asks me

my business – my husband (who has been my right arm), two

for the recipe.

sons and their wives and a wonderful granddaughter, who

My love for cooking started when I was very young. At

spends lots of time with me in the kitchen. I think she loves

night, after my homework was done, I would beg my mother to

cooking, but she says she doesn’t want to cater because it’s too

let me bake cookies. Little did I know that cooking would

much work. During our time in the kitchen, we have become

become a career for me, but I have really enjoyed it. I have been

so close and share a bond that I pray will never end.

catering for 32 years and met many nice people. I received the Marjie Martin and her husband, Aaron, live in Marion where she owns and operates a catering company. They have two sons, Brad and Scott; a daughter-in-law, Debra; and a granddaughter, Hannah.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 127

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At the Foot of the Cross by Leigh Clary Abdou

I

In 1865, Elvina M. Hall wrote a very popular and important hymn – a hymn that has been passed down throughout the generations and termed by many as a classic. Authors of old hymns have a powerful way of expressing their true emotions and feelings. The words of hymns are full of meaning and seem to have more depth to them than the common vineyard songs that we sing today. Don’t get me wrong; I love vineyard music, but there’s something about old hymns that pierce me right in my soul. Maybe I feel this way because I grew up in a Southern Baptist church and these songs remind me of my spiritual past. Or maybe they do grab hold of our hearts and captivate our souls by their words alone. The title of Hall’s song is “Jesus Paid It All” and the words are as follows:

“

“I hear the Savior say, ‘Thy strength indeed is small; Child of weakness, watch and pray, Find in Me thine all in all.’ Jesus paid it all. All to Him I owe. Sin hath left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow. For nothing good have I Whereby Thy grace to claim. I’ll wash my garments white In the Blood of Calv’ry’s Lamb. And now complete in Him, My robe, His righteousness, Close sheltered ’neath His side, I am divinely blest. Lord, now indeed I find Thy pow’r, and Thine alone, Can change the leper’s spots And melt the heart of stone. When from my dying bed, My ransomed soul shall rise, Jesus died, my soul to save, Shall rend the vaulted skies. And when before thy throne I stand in Him complete, I’ll lay my trophies down, All down at Jesus’ feet”.

”

Leigh Abdou lives in Florence with her husband, Tony, and loves working for She Magazine. She is originally from Valdosta, Georgia.

I feel we will never really know what the Lord did for us on that cross until we see Him face-to-face in Heaven. I have seen The Passion and other similar movies and they help me to understand a glimpse of what He did for me. Jesus saving me from the infinity of hell is something I might not fully understand until I leave this current life. I Peter 1:18-20 says,“For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious Blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake.” What a great Savior we have, that he would give His life for His children.

Not only are we saved by the Blood of the Lamb, but our Savior rose from the grave three days later! “He [Jesus] said to them, ‘This is what I told you while I was still with you; everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms . . . This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in His Name to all the nations, beginning at Jerusalem’” (Luke 24:44:47). The books of Moses, the prophets and the Psalms all point the birth, death and resurrection of the Christ. It’s amazing how these prophesies all line up even though they are by different authors and are written during different time periods. Today, we are still part of the prophecy. The Name and Word of the Christ has been preached to many nations and did start in Jerusalem. The Word will continue to be preached until all have had the chance to hear the gospel (Revelations 14:6) and then the end will come. Choose this day whom you will serve (Joshua 24:15) and whom you will follow. This Easter, know Who your Savior is and why He died on the cross for your sins. If you don’t already, decide to know the Man Who gave His life for the sins of the world. It’s a life-changing decision you will never regret.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 129

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Dr. Kelly Lyles (left) and Dr. Brinda Chokshi Members of the Medical Staff at Carolinas Hospital System

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PURSE STRINGS:

by Frances Segars Jones

GO GREEN

at Home

Eco-friendly. Carbon footprint. Global warming. Energy-efficient. These catch phrases have become part of our lexicon as we’ve become more aware of our impact on the environment and our role in protecting it. As a homeowner, there are some simple, inexpensive steps you can take to make your home energy-efficient. Get started on the road to being green with these five tips: Change Your Light Bulbs By replacing just five incandescent light bulbs with compact fluorescent (CFL) bulbs, you can save $100 per year on electric bills while using up to 75 percent less energy and removing greenhouse gases from the environment.

help decrease heating and air conditioning bills. Make sure, however, that you use silicone sealants. Acrylic caulk tends to shrink, while silicone sealants are waterproof and won’t shrink or crack, creating less waste. Use Less Water Did you know that roughly 60 percent of a home’s water consumption takes place in the bathroom, according to the California Urban Water Conservation Council? The largest culprit is the toilet, which accounts for 27 percent of your household supply every year. By installing low-flow toilets, showerheads and faucets, you can save thousands of gallons of water each year. In addition, replace leaky fixtures. That slow-dripping faucet can waste as much as 2,400 gallons of water per year.

Buy ENERGY STAR® Appliances Adjust the Thermostat

ENERGY STAR® qualified appliances such as refrigerators, washers and air conditioners meet a higher level of energy efficiency set by the Environmental Protection Agency and U.S. Department of Energy than standard models. According to ENERGY STAR®, if just one in ten homes used ENERGY STAR® qualified appliances, the impact could be compared to planting 1.7 million new acres of trees. In addition, switching to these appliances is not only good for the environment but easy on your pocketbook. Although these appliances may cost more upfront, you can reduce your energy bill by $80 per year.

When adjusting your home’s thermostat, the rule of thumb should be to turn up the dial in the summer and down in the winter. Lowering the temperature by just one degree will reduce your electrical costs. If you use a programmable thermostat, you can program your air conditioning and heating systems to reduce output while no one is at home or at night while you sleep. Ceiling fans are also helpful in circulating the air to keep the room cool in the summer and warm in the winter.

Seal Up

Going green doesn’t have to be overwhelming or costly. By making just a few small changes within your home, you can help decrease energy consumption and help make the world a greener place.

Cracks and air leaks represent cash seeping from your doors and windows. Get rid of air leaks in doors, windows and other areas by caulking gaps and cracks. This will

As a homeowner, there are some simple, inexpensive steps you can take to make your home energy-efficient.

Frances Segars Jones lives in Florence with her husband, Stephen. Originally from Hartsville, she has been working with her family in their real estate business for nine years. Prudential Segars Realty has been in operation for over 30 years in Hartsville and they now have an office in Florence.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 131

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Laughter End Every Day with Gratitude Start Every Day with

and In Between…

Let Go laughter often caused unsatisfactory scores on my report

experience anything other than being crammed in a toy

erly. I can remember using laughter often to get out of

card. My class clown antics combined with my “chatty”

box with all of her furniture poking her in the back. What

trouble as a child. When my mother was particularly

nature quickly became a sore spot with my parents. No

about her owners? Have they had a happy life like the one

overwhelmed (or hormonal) and would be holding forth,

matter how many times I had to write sentences for my

they pretended to have some day? I certainly have! I

I would launch into a television commercial reenactment.

parents and teachers I still had these uncontrollable

went from decorating Barbie townhouses to doing real

Eventually this would cause her to let go and give in to

urges. If I could continue to crack up my friends and

homes. I went from styling Barbie’s hair to becoming a

bouts of hysterical laughter.

cause fits of laughter, then it was worth facing the conse-

hairdresser for years. It seems I owe a lot to Barbie, so

quences later.

Happy 50th Birthday my dear friend!

L

Laughter is a powerful weapon when used prop-

My sister Sharon and I

became quite adept at memorizing commercials to dis-

by Beth Grant

tract mom. Regardless of when we performed them,

As an adult it’s more difficult to let go and laugh

I feel quite certain I won’t have another 50 years

mom’s favorites were The Secret deodorant and

a lot. Our burdens become so heavy we forget how to

on this earth, so Barbie, I hope you continue to bring joy

Palmolive dish washing commercials. These performanc-

laugh sometimes. For me when those times happen I have

into the lives of little girls forever! Happiness follows

es worked every time to diffuse her so I continue to

a new “fix”. I try to schedule a visit with one of my grand-

from the love that lives in your little heart. Then the good

interject humor whenever possible in order to hear the

children, and while I’m with them I don’t have a care in the

we do for others will feed our soul and bring us gladness.

sound of her laughter.

world! Plus you get to play with Barbie again and relive

When your owner is sad, flash that painted-on smile her

Humor can also be a lethal weapon if discharged

those magical moments of make believe. Barbie and I will

way and help her forget her troubles! Invite Ken and

in the wrong environment. For example--the front pew

both turn 50 this year and though she may be coming out

Skipper over and go for a ride in your pink Corvette. Act

at Church while your Dad is preaching – not a good idea!

with tattoos (for heaven’s sake), I think I’ll just let my vari-

out your dreams and share a little joy; for tomorrow’s a

School can also be a place not befitting my humor, especial-

cose veins be mine. I really think Mattel should make her

new day, and you can go out and play!

ly during class. My urge to create uncontrollable

look 50 so I won’t feel so bad. Oh the stories she could tell from the homes of little girls with big dreams of what their future should bring. We know Barbie never got to

Beth Grant is an Artist, Interior Decorator and Writer. She and her husband, Don, live on their family farm in Lamar, South Carolina. They own and operate Mantissa Row in Hartsville.

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 133

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 135

Relax. Experience the beauty.

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Denley and Ann Caughman

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843.423.5220 or visit www.montgomerysgroveinn.com

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who’s

that

girl? If I could meet anyone, it would be

Family: Parents, Bryan and Donna; Sister, Brooke School: Junior at West Florence High School Accomplishments:

Three years on West Florence Tennis

Team, 9th Grade MVP for WF Tennis Team, National Honor Society Member, Beta Club,Voted Miss Junior (Homecoming)

. . . my grandfather, Horace Curry. He passed away five months before I was born and I am named after him (Katlyn Curry Howell).

My friends are . . . are always there for me. They encourage me and keep me accountable.

Favorite Scripture:

My Personality: Easygoing and fun

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

Favorite Artist: Carrie Underwood Favorite Movies:

A Walk to Remember

If I could travel anywhere in the world, I would go to . . .

London, England

Future Plans and Dreams: I plan to attend Clemson University and eventually work in the medical field. I would like to help people and hopefully make a difference in their lives.

What Makes Me Smile: Hanging out with friends and the youth group, traveling and playing tennis

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TRUE Happiness Comes From Within... Find TRUE Happiness With Your Body Get Your Body In The Shape You Want By Summer with... Dr. Sattele’s Rapid Weight Loss & Body Shaping Program! • LOSE 15-30 LBS OR MORE PER MONTH • BOARD CERTIFIED PHYSICIAN DIRECTED • B12/LIPOTROPIC FAT-MOBILIZING INJECTIONS ARE USED TO SPEED UP METABOLISM ALLOWING YOU TO GET RID OF BOTH- INTERNAL & EXTERNAL FAT! Don’t miss our next “Look Your Best” Seminar on Wed., April 22nd at 6pm. entitled: Dr. Satelle’s Rapid Weight Loss & Body Shaping Program. Space is limited. Call 662-1515 or go to www.scskin.com to register. The 1st 10 people to register & attend will receive a FREE VISIA Complexion Analysis plus a FREE Glycolic Chemical Peel - $375 Value!

BOOT CAMP FLORENCE for ALL Fitness Levels and Ages You’ll be motivated and have fun while experiencing a TOTAL MIND AND BODY TRANSFORMATION! Fitness Boot Camp For Women (4 weeks) Starts Monday April 6, 2009 Fitness Boot Camp Combo (Co-Ed, 6 weeks) Starts Tuesday April 7, 2009 Create your own boot camp with co-workers, family and friends. To register, call 843.669.8288 or go to www.bootcampflorence.com. The 1st 5 people to register for Boot Camp will receive a 15 minute session on our HYDROMASSAGE BED, equivalent to a 1 hour massage!

A Ladies’ Only Gym

2716 W. Palmetto St • Florence, SC • 843.669.8288

Kevin M. Sattele, M.D.

1611 Hazel Drive • Florence • 843.662.1515 (Just off Cashua Dr. across from Celebration Blvd)

FREE Cosmetic Reports Now Available Online! Go to www.scskin.com Or call 24 hr hotline at 800-791-4810. BE SURE TO ENTER PROMO CODE: APRIL09-SHE!

at Ashley we

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create fashion deliver selection define value CAREER OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE See Store For Details

Or Call 843.656.0780

Ashley Furniture HomeStore 2361 David McLeod Blvd.

OPEN SUNDAYS

(next to Hobby Lobby & Lowe’s)

Florence

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AMERICAS’

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When was the last time you felt like this gardening? PAIN MANAGEMENT IS OUR SPECIALTY.

DR. JOSEPH CARTER

DR. STEPHEN TUEL

Eastern Carolina Medicine 2011- C Second Loop • Florence • 665.2600