Script 1

.

Jwl~

C{"Uc,o,,'f

_.. -

Prince Donald .and the

\

~

""-

.-

.

Average Family a musical for

Gatehouse Youthspring Springtide and Teignspring by

f!!" ........

David Haines

Script

--

..---

I

PRINCEDONALDANDTHE AVERAGE FAMILY

Whenthe ro'fal family revive their fortunes by producing a son and heir they seem to be riding high on a never-ending wave of popularity, Unfortunately, Prince Donald escapes his nanny and discovers freedom momentarily only to fall from a tree, breaking his back and becoming paralysed from the waist down, Panic-stricken, the Royals decide in secret to replace Donald with an orphan rather than risk losing their place in the public's heart for not protecting Donald from harm,

'-"

Someyears later Donald is living with his foster family which is beset by emotional problems, l1arbella's infidelities and subsequent wallowing in guilt coupled with Geraint's obsession with fate provide a troubled baddrop as Donald searches for his own identity, Helped by his foster sister Juno, Donald explores his feelings and relationships with those around him as well as struggling with hidden memoriesof a former life, Meanwhilethe fake prince - handsome, blond, blue-eyed and a favourite with the media - makes a great success of his flJle, But when a medical breakthrough of fers the possibil i ty of a cure for the real pr ince the royals decide that "blood is thicker than water" and make plans to reinstate him, They devise a sl:heme whil:h will the put the fake prince into an average family for a week ostensibly to avoid his losing touch with his people, A competition is run to find "TheMostAverageFamilyIn TheRealm"which is fixed so that the Johnsons 01arbella and Geraint's next door neighbours) win, At the same time the Palace Mafia pay a visit to the Brownsto reveal to them who their foster son really is and to offer him his old life back, He is to observe the fake prince at close quarters as the first stage in the "personality

--

plastic surgery

restructuring"

- will

that

-

along with extensive

curative

and

lead to his successful return to public life,

MeanwhileJuno and Geraint are forced to face the possibility

that he is

not her natural father vhen l1arbella blurts out a confession of her philanderings, Juno and Geraint resolve their feelings and decide that blood ties are unimportant when compared with the years of family life they've shared, a decision which helps Oonald decide upon his own course of adion,

l

In a riotous final scene set in the the midst of a school science lesson (and during which t1arbella gets arrested for punching the Queen on the nose), the two Donalds meet and the fake prince learns the truth, The knowledge of the truth which they now share will give them the power to shape their own destinies rather than being at the mercy of outside pressures,

PRINCE OONALDAND THE AVERAGEFAMILY ORDEROF SCENES

ACTONE 1,5 minutes

SCENE ONE

page 1 Once \Jpon a Time One Cloulj ~e've been waiting f~r too long now They are the perfect family/What a glorious day Sleep, baby, close those eyes Q-Don!ld, D-D-Donale..,

(Background to the story) (The Queen's infertility) [The population's impatience) (People's joy at Prince 0'5 birth) [People's high expectations of Prince 0) (Prince Qonald's fall from the tree)

:3 Itinutes

TWO page .5

SCENE

"-" How

a cripple

could

Inherit

[Queen's anger

the throne?

- her

idea to do a swap)

SCENE THREE 6 !tinutes page6 [Introduces the Average Family competition idea) (Donnie's half-Itemories of a previous life)

Dialogue When I lie awa~eat night

81inutes

SCENE FOUR

page 9 Hey! Have you heard

the ne~s?

[Filling

in of the competition forM

- Marbella's

lies

questionable attitudes towards Dennie's disability)

[Getaint's

Dialogue

3 linutes

SCENEFIVE ! '~ page ,~

obession with numbersand his fate

- Marbella's confession)

page 16

-

SCENE

-

-

Dialogue "June you awake?" I knew you before you knew Me

-

[Flashbac~ to the wedding reception Marbella's panic and infidelity The death of 6eraint's parents)

What a glorious day it is

5 minutes

SEVEN

page22 (Twoweeks since previous scene)

[Geraint's love for Juno and agony over the possibility that she's not his daughter) 6 minutes

SCENE EIGHT pa'Je 24 Who....will

win the chance to be"

[General

It couldn't be our town

excitement over competition result) (Suspense built up Is it us?)

-

Total 60 Minutes ENDOF ACTONE

~.

~--(-

W~

14 . i nutes

SCENESIX

--

- ~.~, e'd

t.

\

PRINCE OONALOAND THE AVERAGEFAMILY

A MUSICALBY DAVIDHAINES ACT ONE

-

{Prl-set: the 8rown f~lI/ily's living rooll a sofa and rug, SOil/I! minutes before 'curtain up', the 8rollln family gather on stage quite (dSually and play i gill/I of (drdg, The Si."MI!shollld bl niturilistic and un!;tigey,. with illlprovised dialoglle it; ippropriite, lit a given Moment (indicited by hollse lights going doll/n?), Qonnie "itMrillls from ttJli!gdflle and addressli!s the iuditwi."e is the 8rollln fimily leive the Stifl/!, J PROPS, Soh, n.g. cI..ck or cHcI. COSTV"ES,

Casual

Indoor

SCENEONE

DONNIE [spoken)

I'm a marvel of modernmedicine in Morewaysthan one. hadto lIse bla,:kmailto get the surgery though, The st,)ry beginsbefore ray birth. listen".

As you can see, nowadaysI can walk, ........

(Oonnie sits

"ith the iudienl.-e as the Chorus enters representing COSTv"r;s:

PROPS: '6if1.'


undor


lap-top,

pyj

0..1c100r

a..,

..1,,1.r

..oblh>

the population of the kingdom)

- o'...00a1s,

I"g

I'hOno,

b..n..nas,

1..ddy.

.cS"".",

fak..

"a'ts

br..in.

r..k.

.1<

"and

CHORUS (sung)

Onceupon a time on a long forgotten day, once upon a time in a land far far away Onceupon a time in a land whosenameyou'd recognise.., There lived the perfe~t ~ouple, King and Queen of that sweet land [The King and queen enter,

Th/!-ydN! 'unseen' by the chorus dt this Stilg/:?dnd «re intent IIpon

examining

tlllich

of pregninq

test

th/:? qlleen is

shaking

in a.'1 attempt

to get

colour,)

it

PROPS, COSTU"ES,

O.a..lng

gown..

to chang/!-

Pragn"ncy

.1ipp.,..

~...~ crowns

Envyof every woman,fantasy of every Man They live~ in perfect splendour, every average person's dream Theywere the perfe,:t couple. perfect 1Y content it seemed,,. (The population cOlllllltmtsJ

begin to gossip tlith eal."h ot~r

"'o",.,J

TheRoyals are such a bore

- a bucket of

and frol» the crowd tll! hear the folll.'wing

SOLO1 [spoken)

slugs would be more interesting! SOLO

2 (spoken]

I heard they're reillly bossy. SOLO3 (spoken) The Queenalways looKs so pill~ SOLO.4 (spoken) to cheer her;elf SOLOS [spoken]

I've heard she eats too muchchocolate trying

up.

The King's so fat he loo~s pregnant, SOLO6 [spoken] Speaking of which, they are

leaving it aI/fully late to start a 1I..i ly I SOLO7 (spoken]

They're

not exactly rabbits are they?

If they had a baby it Might steal

SOLO8 [spoken] the show. They wouldn't

like

that!

(As the musk changes for the queen's 5010, the Chorus lolller their helds and freeze. J QUEEN[sung]

Onecloud.,. darkening the blue horizon., ,one cloud". heralding the storms One cloud.,.

to COle,.,

too dark for all our wealth and all our power to drive avay."

(The L"horlJ5slotl1y rilise their fat-SS towards ths Quesn and sing it

- ra ther

than tJ)

- her)

[j]

[sung] Where is the child weexpected to see? Where's your proof of your loyalty? Weall sincerely believe It's your duty soon to conceive One cloud,., One cloud upon the blue horizon One cloud upon the blue horizon..., CHORUS

One cloud", Darkening the blue horizon Onecloud heralding the storms to come One cloud Too dark for all our wealth and all our Power to drive away...

(Chorus Jollierheads and fre!!ze again) KING & QUEEN[~ung]

Wherewill we be without new life, what will be our family's fate? What will webecome withouta prince to take his rightful place? Could we be the very last link in this ancient royal family? Could this line die out with us, the end of our great history? -, "

£The!(ing and I}ueen ledve, Ilvidently troubled, Thll Cro/lldr!!turn to their gL'ssipping, but *ith a great air of impatience Md aggression "hkh erupts into songl CHORI)$[sung] We've been waiting for too long now for that much wished-for event Whyshould we still be kept waiting? They should knowit makes us fChoreogrdphyJ We have rights and we have duties, wepay our ta)(es and bills We support

your royal

life-style,

tense I

you have duties to fulfil

£The King ind que!!", noli' dressed for public appeiral7<:eind 'fith noses held high, r!!appedr .md responddirectly to to the trot/d's J;Oll/pliintsl CO3TUI'IE9, RoyalROot-n. (...11..g..lI. KING A QUEEN[sung)

Weare the perfect couple, wedon't need your kind advice We're happyjust as weare, life is good and life is nice [!veryol7tIPcurrently on stage freezes and Oonnie

redpp!!drS,)

DONNIE [spoken) Apparently the Queenwasn't that keen on having babies, anyway, Too concernedabout her sli~ :0.-0

figure,

But then along comesDoctor Alison Hubble.,,

{Oonnie returns to the audience to continue flliL"hing events is everyone 'I."olles to life' /lgain. Vitched flith greit interest by the crowd, Dodor HuMle steps fOrtlird, removes her overL"olt to reveal i "hite Doctor's coat, and bO"5 deeply before the roYd15, J Whit.

COSTUMES:

Your Majesties! comeup trumps!

l.b

CO.~5

(o~

DOCTOR HIJ9BLE(spoken] I have a wonderful surprise for you! Those fertility

D~ H...t-t-I.

tests

and

ha.

Assistant

I conducted have

QIJEEN[spot en]

Oh, you are an

irritating

little

person

- do get

to the point!

DOCTOR HIJBSlE[spoken] Well, your lajesties., ,one of those little embryos put up such a fight, I knew he was a winner, 51) I took the liberty [ hope you'll approve of trying out my new top secret technique", IP/u.Jses for drdllldtk effl!l."tJ

-

-

-

-

KING [spoken)

Well,. ,spit it out woman! DOCTOR HOBBLE[spoken) Everybody

knows

I'm the world expert on in vitro fertilization.

research under wraps

until this moment,.,

but I have kept IV lost

recent

J~

KING [ipo~enJ

Well?! DOCTOR HUBBLE[spoken]

In vitro

gestation!!! QUEEN[spoken)

What? What? DOCTOR HUBBLE[spokenJ

With your egg Ma'am and your seed Sir and with

.. ~(

.~t

tube, wehave produceda son and heir!

KING, QIJEfJf& CHORIJSJJ-IpokenJ

~t?!?!.A,9 -..,.-«,,' Bring on the Prince!!

DOCTOR HUBBLE[spoken)

(lIfTISsistint brings on d full-grolfn biby inside i gidnt test tube. The test tt/be blby is held dioft in triuMph by OI,."ICtor HuDble.Md the !,."foAl(! cheliH the 4stonished L-Ot/ple,)

"'-'"

PROPS;

8aby

n"ppy,

baby ."awl,

in giant

teat tuba connected

baby'.

to tube.,

.yata~iou.

aonitora

d~ip

feed. .te on trolley;

disposable

fa.,ding boH.laJ

CHORUS (sung] They are the perfect family. quite complete in every way Weare your loyal subjects, glad to serve, glad to obey He is the perfect baby, blue-eyed, blond and clever too He'll be the perfect monarch, noble, handsome, brave and true

~

Whata glorious day it is!

Wehave the future king we have ~of glorious day it is! ~L I ~ (c/..Q.p- 0"He will lead his people towards a time of wealth and happiness What a

..t. What a glorious

day it is! Wewere here to witness the ~ What a gl"rious day it is! ~ What a glorious day it is! 'l... c.J ~ ~

Wewill

rememberfor all

of our lives

birth of a newage! IIhat a glorious day it is! Whata glorious day it is! "..

~.

s:'

~

~

~~

.S"'J:f~. ""\ ~ 'C1A ~

~

Whata gl~ious da'9'!+ t

~

1-,6-t)«.. ~

)

.-I

~~ I

~

~~

~

~+-A..o4"'I/I..

'--P

(The baby is gently released froll the tuoe ind father a~h.;rdJy rocked by King indlor queen flho

ire eridt:!.ntlynot used td such }ctiYities).

~

.........

~,

~,~

Q

{"1iA,.

~

dJt...:r'..

I

~

.

("1:J

J

V<"

~ f

FULL CHORUS, KING A QUEEN,DOCHIJSBLE[sung)

f1t1~_)Sleep, baby, close those eyes, sleep, baby, close those eyes Sleep. baby, close those eyes, dream, dreamdream.." (rep/!utedldny

tillles under f()JJ()~ing lines)

CHILDREN'SCHORUS [sung) baby, cry no tears. your life will accelerate with passing years Don't rush down that steep incline, 1iye your life in slo:;wtiMe Sleep baby, sMile on your face. the world's fundamentally a friendly place Sleep little baby, close those eyes, dream through the long, cold dark night

Sleep, little

{SI/ill groups of lIell-,lishers step forftlud ftlith gifts priflCe ftlill be under frolll diy one]

indkative

J)f the sort of preSJurI the PROPS'

$n

-.i1-

~\...f'(1.

../

+ ~t

that

-J

1 ~.. ,-, I-dJ

...

nota on first p..g..

FIRSTGROUP OFWELL-WISHERS [spokenJ Whenyou're working on your lap-top in your lovely silk pyja~as Andyour lobile phonekeeps ringing then whynot shout 'bananas' This teddy bear will help you cli~b the ladder to great heights As you're tapping on your lap top, using up those Megabytes'

f'i1

SECONDGROUPOF WELL-WISHERS(spoken]

We'll give you this gift, the gift of great brains To help you in life through the stresses and strains Of being a King both lanly and kind, lAnd a strong hand to wave to all of mankind! SEMI-CHORUS [sung]

Sleep, little baby, take your time, no rivers to cross, no mountains to climb Nobody'swaiting for you to achieve anything 80re than a night's sleep Sleep baby, s;ile on your face, the world's fundamentally a friendly place Sleep little baby, close those eyes, dreaN through the long, cold dark night THIRD GROUPOF WELL-WISHERS[spoken] Dear Prince, our gift to you from us and all our lates This Filofax in calfskin hide packed full of crucial dates You need to plan your life fully and steer things from the helm

To keep your subjects workinghard and faithful to the realm! FOURTH

v

golden census for the future king

GROUP OF WELL-WISHERS [spokenJ

-

you lust remembereverything! Both names and places, birthdays too, this precious gift we give to you!

A

SEMI-CHORUS [sungJ

Sleep, little

baby, youngand wise, you don't knowthe truth but then don't knowlies Sip knowledge from the world's stream, but take time to dream your dreaM Sleep baby, smile on your face, the world's fundamentallya friendly place Sleep little

baby, close those eyes, dream through the long, cold dark night

FULLCHORUS, KING'" j~I)EEN,ooe HI)BBLE [sung) Sleep, baby, close those eyes, sleep, baby, close those eyes Sleep, baby, close those eyes, dream, dreamdream" ,. Sleep, baby, close those eyes, sleep, baby, close those eyes Sleep, baby, close those eyes, dream, dream dream",. Dream, dreaM, dream,"dream, dream, dream." {As th~y leave the stage, the whole l."hl.'NIStake up a ~hispered I."hantis in underl."lIrrent to tIhat f~llo~!iJ CHORUS[whispered]

'-'

0- 00nal0, O-D- Donald, O-O-D-Donald, 0-0-0-0 Donald Uuuuuh." {iudible inhilation for 2 beats1 Aaaaah", alldibleexha1itio" for 2 bnts1 I)uuuuuuuuhhh,, ,. {audible inhalation for 3ft beats1 (~'pl4t

if '41'1,1" tiRIIII 11 "eltJ,d until

th, poiflt It lifilidl PrInce Oi)flaltt fiJi, fro#l thl itN, tht! performing area .is they whispl?r the chant1

During the f~,l1owing speech., the aollld leave

DONNIE[spoken)

-

As soon as I wasold enoughto climb it, that old tree the biggest oak in the grounds of the became .y oneescape". "y fragMentof precious freedom", Palace

-

l4 sequenl."' of film or video stills shows the Prince g,otling up from bibyllood to ibout Ilge 3 or 4. Th>Jnthe toddler prince is seen to slolily climb a big tr~e then suddenly fill froM it. Tne stage is empty ind silent for a fetl M/lhmts then",)

14/

SCENE TWO

[The Queen ~'ofles storming on fallot/ed by a betlildered lUng and .anxious Professor MUI., 1 COSTV"E$:

n.. King di"h."dl.d

1ha Proh...or

pow.r-dr

... If in old !:I.",ien;n!.! clothe".

ih.. Q"..n

in the bY"ln... PROPS:

..natty ."H.

""It

of a p...thed

X-..ytr.n.paranci..

QUEEN(ipokenJ

of a nanny let this happen?! Doesn't ine realise iNpli~ationi? Whatare the mediagoing to Makeof it? You iay he'll never walk again?

How ~ould

that

~arele5i

ill9

the

[Profes50r /litila holds the [-r.y pictures up to the light) PROFESSOR ATTILA(ipoken)

The Prin~e'i spinal cord ii totally severe~ your Majesty. He'll be in a wheelchair for the reit of his life, QUEEN [spokenJ the world's expert on this sort of injury surely?

But you're

PROFESSOR ATTILA (ipokenJ

is in exactly this area, but it could be years

My research ~

-

decades

- before

we achieve a

breakthrough.

After all the trouble I've monarchy if word gets out? USI

QUEEN[spoken to King as if it's his fault) taken to give you a son! You realise this could be the end of the They donlt give a fig for The people worship their toddler Princ~

KING [spoken)

You're just in a state of shock, darling",

Shock?! Rubbish!

QUEEN (spoken] I'm the only one around here with the wits to realise

what we have to do.

QUEEN(sung] Howcould

a ~ripple inherit the throne?

Howcould he expect to command respect in every homefroM a wheelchair? KING[sung]

QUEEN & PROFESSOR ATTILA (sung] It would be Most unsuitable! It would be Most unsuitable!

It wouldbe a great Mistake, we'd all Regret it, it wouldbe unsuitable!

--

QUEEN(sung]

Mypeople need someone they can look up to They would never honour my son as their monarch Howcould he rule from a wheelchair? QUEEN& PROFESSOR ATTILA

KING[sung] It would be a great mistake, we'd all

(sung]

It wouldbe most unsuitable! It wouldbe most unsuitablel

Regret it,

it would be unsuitable!

QUEEN[spoken] Get Me another child! PROFESSOR

ATTILA.(spoken]

What? QUEEN[spoken] Another child,

you fool,

a replaceMent! PROFESSOR ATTILA [spoken]

YOy want Doctor Hubble

to grow you another baby." QUEEN[spoken)

Idiot!

A

child.

not broken!

Donald's age, Oonald's size, some orphan or other,

6et mea child that is £Theyle.vI the sttlge, 1 TS1

[00nn1e enters,

pushing his own fIIheekh/lir, /lnd /lddre!!iseg the audien~"e. During this speech

lieraini, l1/1rbella, I1ndy, luno and Oiinll 8rown take up pl)siti~'ns 'it homeI gathered iNJUnd /I popular IIdgazine or a 10'"/11piper, lierdint sits slightly aput, milking ~"/llculatil)ns on " tlellused plld of notepaper lnd laying out his number ;md letter ,"ird, in varioul mysti'"ll patterns,) PROPS, Wheelchair. sofa,

rug.

..gaz1na.

no'epad,

pen, le"a'

. nu.ber

<arde

DONNIE [spoken] Andso I becaMeplain DonnieBrown, an adopted ~id in a wheelchair, My new family had no idea of MYtrue identity, By the time I went to live with them, neither did I! Memoriesof mypast life faded into dreams, Over the next ten years I followed the exploits of the glamorous

Prince Donaldwith as much or as little

interest as anyoneelse,

[He sits in his tlhel!'h-hlir lnd becolf/I!'sput

of till!'8rol/ln faA/ily group)

JUNO BROWN [spoken]

'-"

That's a gorgeous photo of him! DtANABROWN (spoken]

I can have it for IIYbedroom!

!'!UIIIsaid

COiln. ,"areflJlly tears the pagt': ,'ut of the fIIlgazineJ

You haven't any wall space left Donaldl

ANDVBROWN [spoken] in your bedrooM, It's already covered with pictures

of Prince

GIANABROWN (spoken] There's plenty of ceiling' MAR8ELLA BROWN [spoken] his phenomenal succus in the movies culminating Child Actor in "Smudge:The Movie., the Royal Faltily have decided withdraw fr')1I! public life for a period of three years..," It

says here "After

in his Oscar for

Best

that Prince Oona.ld will

GIANA~ JUNO{spoken]

Oh! No! '-"

MARBELLA BROWN [spoken]

withdraw from public life for a period of three years so he can concentrate studies and prepare for life as monarch and role model for his people,' """wi11

That's

on his

DIANA& JVNO[spoken]

terrible!

MARBELLABROWN[spoken]

Hang on, hang on, there's somethlng else. though, "As the first stage in his education for leadership he will spenda weekstaying in the hole of an average family, following their daily routine and gaining a valuable insight into the lives and aspirations of ordinary people," ANOVBROWN(spoken]

Who's he going to stay with, Mum? They're

running

this

competition

MARBELLA BROWN(spoken] "The Most Average Family

to find

in the Realm";

and he'll

gl)

and stay with the winners! DIANA~ JUNO[spoken] Vest ! I1ARBELLABROWN[spoken]

Calm down. girls,

we're hardly likely to win it are we?

T{;}

JUNOBROWN (spoken) Whynot? MARBELLA BROWN (spoken) Well,

we're not exactly average", OIANABROWN [spoken]

Whynot. l1ulII? I1ARBELLA BROWN [spoken)

Well", Cllfl'l:'IIlrc/lyJ there's all sorts of things",

Donniefor a start.

ANDVBROWN [spoken] What about Donnie?

Well",

'-/

MARBELLA BROWN [spoken] not every family has an adopted son in a wheelchair do they?

JUNO,ANOY,DIANAtspoken] I'IUI1l!

I'IARBELLA BROWN [spoken] 1'111not saying there's anything wrong \litth that, 1'111proud to have Oonnte as part of our family, But it does lean we're not exactly average, ANDVBROWN [spoken]

$0 we couldn't win the competition? I'IARBELLABROWN[$poken]

Well." rules are madeto be bent. JUNOBROWN [spoken] Here she goes, , , I1ARBELLA BROWN [spoken) We could be Just a little

'--"

"economical with the truth",

DIANABROWN [spoken) No. Mum, Just think if we won and they found out you'd been lying, embarrassing! Like all the other times when you've got caught,

It would be so

MARBELLA BROWN [spoken) We'll fill in the forlA later and see if we can't flin that handsome Prince Don't be silly! D'Jnald, He'd be a cute toyboy for you, Juno! (/1arbellil e/d tg curying tfItJgtJzineJ JUNOBROWN [spoken] Oh, Mull!

l6erdint suddenly looks up fro. his cilcuationsJ 6ERAINT[spoken] Juno, , , JUNOBROWN [spoken) Yes. Dad? 6ERAINT[spoken] What date's

YQur birthday,

The thirteenth,

Oh, my God!

Dad, I told

again? JUNO BROWN(sPQKenJ and YQU know anyway!

you twice already.

6ERAINT[spoken] {flith a gesture of despair,

he gets

/Jp iM buvesl

rll

ANDY BROWN [spoken]

What's up with him, now? JUNOBROWN (2pokenJ Whoknows? Life, probably! Comeon, Andy, help me stick

DIANABROWN (spoken] these up on my ceiling! ANOVBROWN (spoken]

IAndy al7d{hand exi tJ

Okay! What a pair Mumand Dad are. her fibs.

JUNOBROWN (spoken] He's always pown in the dumps nowadays. And Mumgets worse with OONNIEBROWN [spoken]

00 you think

she'd lie about something really important? JUNO BROWN [spoken]

I hopenot, but I must admit I'm not sure".

Why?

DONNIE BROWN (spoken] Well, y"u know they' ve always said they don't knowwhere 1 cue were or anything? JUNO BROWN(spoken] Oh, I think

that's

true,

they really

don't

froM, who my natural

parents

know,

DONNIEBROWN [spoken] And

they reckon I was born like this, JUNOBROWN (spoken]

Yes,. , Well, the thing is I've been getting kind of night-time day dreams.,.

OONNIEBROWN (spoken) these odd dreams lately,

not dreams when I'm asleep,

but

JUNOBROWN (spoken)

What are they about? When I lie awakeat

DONNIE BROWN (sung) night these pictures cometo me

Theyseema bit like dreams,but they seem a l~t more like memories Somepictures change with time, some are always just the same SomeI only ever see once, some I see again and again and again I see a giant tree, I stand and stare for a long, long time Thensomeonecalls mynameso I begin to climb,.. How [ wish these

fading

pictures wouldremain in the cold clear light of day

HowI wish these picture would last always HowI wish that I could capture those images that my mindsees Maybe then I could decide dreams or memories. dreams or memories

-

In another picture I'm speeding down a long steep hill, chasing butterflies As I run I look down and I see the ground rushing by Not lookingwhereI'm going50 I tumbleheadright over my heels In theory this has never happened to me but I'm sure I know just howit feels I lie there looking up through the branches of mytree I hear a voice call .y name,so I begin to cljab onceagain". HowI wish these fading pictures wouldremain in the cold clear light of day HowI wish these picture would last always

HowI wish that I could capture those imagesthat mymind sees Maybethen I could der.ide - dreaMs or Mlllorias. dreaMs or memories Am I living in a dream world where fantasies seem real to me? AmI living in a world where my wishes seem More real than reality? I know it doesn't change the situation I'm in this chair for evermore All the saMe[ need to know Did I ever learn to walk before?

-

~

(/f.arbelld enters "ois1 1y pusl7il'liJ.andpulling 6er.aint tlit/7 her, 1

~

-:/

~"

GERAINTBROWN [spoken]

I don't want to fill

in a silly competition forN, Marbella. Let go! ~ARBELLA BROWN

[spoken)

Youneed somethingto take your mindoff those calculations. lShe tries to gNlb the notebook frolll his h.and, but he lII.an.agesto evade her. 1 GERAINT 8ROWN[spoken]

Leave that

alone'

Leave mealone' ~AR8ELLABROWN [spoken]

It's just a bit of fun." 6ERAINTBROWN [spoken]

~~

No! I'm not interested! MAR8ELLA BROWN [spoken) Well,

at least just stay here in the living roomwhile the rest of us fill

so I can ask you if I get stud.

Just

in the fori,

Please,.,

{6rUMpi1y, 6eraint sits dollln.and iMmerses flilllse1f in the notebooK,J Comeon kids,

let's

tell

MAR8ELLA BROWN [shouting fibs!

to the others offstageJ

[JUnIJ.and Oo"nie ex,"h.a17geexlISper.ated gl.anl:es, but go to join l1.arbelli. The other Srot/n l"hildren ,"olle running on to help .and the stige fills tllth family groups .all g.athered round tlIagazines .Md papers ind preparing to fill in the forM,} PROPS:ChaJr.., rug., ..ha~.Y.r

---~

to Indlcat.

dlff.,.nt

f...l1y group.

in dlffar.'nt HYing

'00".,

CHORUS [sung directly to the audience] Hey! Haveyou heard the news? Everyonebut you is talking 'bout the competition of the century Find this simple little form, it's printed in this morning's paper Fill it in and send it ~ff, your entery (Deliberate mispronunciitionJ

k -./

lOuring so)"" the otMr fimilies all become absorbed in their entrr forlllS in a semi-freeze) MARBELLA BROWN (sung)

Lookat question numberone "Whatis your favourite TVprogramme?" It IS so hard trying to guess what answer they're looking for.,. DIANA,ANDY[sung] Write the truth, Ma, write the truth

ADULTCHORUS [sung] What shall we answer? What shall we answer?

JVNO, DONNIE,

Write the truth, Ma, write the truth MARBELLA BROWN (sung) No-onein this life got far whonever sawpast telling harmless lies Howcould 1 admit the weather forecast is my best delight?

CHILDREN'S CHORUS [sung]

Write the truth, Ma Write the truth Write the truth, Ma Write the truth!

I1ARBELLA [sung) I've got it! That dreadful programme late on Sunday night,..

ADULTCHORUS [sung] What shall we answer? What shall

we answer?

MARBElLABROWN [spokenJ You know the one I mean! I don't watch it, but you lot all dOl What's it called?

(91

I' ye g,:!t it

- "Royalty

~AReELLA BROWN& ADULT CHORUS[sung]

Today"!

That's the only wayto win. you just fill in whateverthey wantyouto say See. look at you and me. ~e are obviously the prime exampleof the nation's average family MARBELLA BROWN [sung] Look at question numbertwo "Whichmemberof your family makesall the big decisions? Whowears the trousers in your family home?" ADULTCHORUS (sung] Whatshall we answer? Whatshall we answer?

CHILDREN'S CHORUS [sung] Write the truth, Ma, write the truth Write the truth, Ma, write the truth JUNO,DONNIE.DIANA. ANDY[sung] YouknowDadis too obsessedwith numbers,omens,signs and symbols Too obsessed with "cruel fate" to reach decisions you decide it all!

-

...

'-/

CHILDREN'S CHORUS [sung] Write the truth, Ma Write the truth Write the truth, Ma Write the truth!

MARBELLA [sung] Howcould I? How could 1 explain The situation here?

ADULTCHORUS [sung] What shall we answer? What shall

we answer?

MARBELLA BROWN [sung) Your poor father does what he can do, your poor father does what he is capable of Your poor father's had a tough life, don't be so hard on him Young people nowadaysare 50 unforgiving, young people nowadays are so hard ADULTCHORUS & MARBELLA BROWN [sung] Young people nowadaysare so unforgiving, young people nowadays are 50 hard Young people nowadaysare so unforgiving, young people nowadays are so hard Young people nowadaysare so unforgiving, young people nowadays are so hard

JUNOBROWN [spoken as the adult chorus sings) Look. MUM,I'm not makingany judgeMentsabout Dad. I'm just saying he can't cope with everyday life, He spendshis whole time counting drops of rain on the windowpane or dividing bricks in the fireplace by cracks in the ceiling...

." he """'-"

rOOM,

OIANABROWN [spoken]

went crazy the other day when he counted thirty-nine pictures of Prince Donald in 11'( Why thirty-nine? AHOYBROWN [spoken]

And he got really annoyed when he found 13 freckles on MYface!

What was I

supposed to do?

MARBELLA BROWN [spo~en)

Oh, leave the poor

man

alone!

MARBELLA BROWN [sung) Look at question number three "Howmanychildren in your family?"

That's a hard one!

JUNOBROWN [spoken] MuM! You can't

lie about that! ANOYBROWN[spoken]

You know how .any ~hildren you've

got! OIANABROWN [spoken]

They're boundto check the answer! MARBELLABROWN[spoken]

It's not as cut and dried as you think it is! What

JUNO,DONNIE,DIANA. AHOY [sung] do you mean? You only have to count us, one, two, three and four!

MARBELLABROWN[sung] What's that number? I knowfor sure.., Yes! I know it... twopoint four!

Jk;)