Samsonite

Samsonite by Chaz Mee

Chaz Mee 49 Ludlow St., # 5A New York, NY 10002 (646) 729 3843

3rd Draft 5/1/07

EXT. ALLEYWAY -- NIGHT Close on: A man lying amidst a heap of garbage. He is strapped to a chair. Handcuffed to his right hand is a silver briefcase. This is Dave. He is not moving. Towering above him are two men, Frankie and Sal. They stare down at him a moment, then Sal, the bigger one reaches down, grabs the chair and pulls...freeze frame on Dave's face. DAVE (V.O.) It wasn't always like this. Not so long ago I lived a fairly simple life. I'm an actor...was an actor, living in LA with my girlfriend. Well, my ex-girlfriend. That's really how this all started. The reason I'm here. But that's how it always starts doesn't it? The girl walks out and the guy, left to his own devices, ends up in a heap of trouble. That's pretty much what you’re seeing here. Probably if she hadn't left me I wouldn't be in this mess. But then again, if she hadn't, my life wouldn't have changed... INT. DARGON INDUSTRIES LAB - TIME AND PLACE UNKNOWN This is the brains of Dargon, a high tech manufacturing company. One of those unheard of companies that invent top secret stuff for the government. The place is sterile, neat and filled with all kinds of futuristic looking equipment. In the middle is a massive machine, pipes and wires jutting out from different directions. Everyone wears white full body jumpsuits. A man, lets call him Wendell, stands at what must be controls. Next to him is Bob. Both are expressionless. The controls have all sorts of graphs and numbers, including one that represents Fahrenheit. The indicator reads 2000. They look at each other. WENDELL Success. BOB Success. CUT TO:

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Something metallic. We pull back to reveal the open lid of a solid metal briefcase. The lid obscures the contents. Wendell and Bob peer into the briefcase. WENDELL Perfect. BOB Yes. WENDELL I think we're ready. BOB (excited) Shall we make the call? WENDELL Yes. Wendell closes the lid and it shuts with a barely audible click. Bob goes to a phone on the wall, picks it up, and dials. A couple beats and then... BOB I have a delivery. EXT. SUNSET-GOWER STUDIOS. FRONT GATE - DAY Meet our main "hero" Dave as he pulls up in his '89 Chevy Cutlas which spews a dark toxic cloud of smoke from it's exhaust pipe. Dave is wearing a pair of dark Raybans. He looks cooly up at the Guard. The Guard looks down at Dave. DAVE (knowingly) I'm here for the movie. (pointing to himself) Actor. Dave winks at him. The guard remains an expressionless stone. GUARD (monotone) Name. DAVE Dave Johnson. A beat as the Guard looks up his name. GUARD Extras, Lot C.

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DAVE Point the way. Make lot, left 5 or

GUARD a U turn, right out of the right at the light, 3 blocks, into the garage, park on level higher.

Dave looks at him with a blank stare. GUARD Need a map? DAVE Good idea. The Guard hands him a map and then with a Pen makes a circle on the top left of the map. GUARD Here's the garage. Makes an "X" on the bottom right of the map. GUARD (CONT'D) Here's where they're shooting. Then he makes a final mark, which is almost right next to the “shooting” x. GUARD Here’s where we are. Dave takes the map, looks at the markings. DAVE Nothing closer? GUARD Nope. NEXT! EXT. BACKLOT - DAY On Dave - running, sweat streaming from his face, tongue waggling from his mouth, and panting like a St. Bernard. INT. SOUNDSTAGE - DAY Dave comes running in, drenched with sweat. He runs from person to person...

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DAVE Know where Becky is? Becky? Second AD? Extras? Someone points him toward a woman surrounded by what must be extras. Dave runs up. DAVE (CONT'D) I'm here. BECKY What great news. Who are you? DAVE Dave. Johnson. Becky hands him a sheet. BECKY (pointing) Take this to wardrobe. Be back here in 10 minutes. And for gods sake, towel off. Dave takes the paper and heads toward wardrobe. INT. SOUNDSTAGE - DAY A restaurant scene. Tables evenly distributed. By the way people are dressed up, it looks upscale. DIRECTOR Action! POV: Camera We see two men, the main actors in the foreground talking. In the background we see various faces of extras as the camera dollies along with the stars. The camera picks up Dave in the background just as he looks straight at the camera - and smiles. DIRECTOR (CONT'D) CUT! The director gets up and points at Dave. DIRECTOR (CONT'D) You! Dave does a "what me"? DIRECTOR (CONT'D) Yeah. Anyone ever tell you not to look directly into the camera?

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Dave looks around sheepishly. DIRECTOR (CONT'D) Ok. Go again. They re-set, roll the sound and cameras. DIRECTOR (CONT'D) ACTION! POV: The camera dollies. This time we see Dave laughing loudly, slaps some guy on the back. The guy spews water. DIRECTOR (CONT'D) CUT! He gets up again. DIRECTOR (CONT'D) Hey! Dave looks up as if to say "what now"? DIRECTOR (CONT'D) We aren't disturbing you are we? DAVE No, I'm great thanks. DIRECTOR That’s nice. Do me a favor. Dave looks expectantly - anything for the director. DIRECTOR (CONT'D) Don't move. Don't make a sound. Just sit there. Got it? Dave does a thumbs up. DAVE Sure thing boss. The director shakes his head. DIRECTOR (grumbling to someone next to him) Damn extras. (to everyone) Okay, once again! Again, they roll sound and cameras.

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DIRECTOR (CONT'D) ACTION! POV: The camera dollies and there is Dave. Except this time the woman next to him screams, turns and slaps him. OW. DIRECTOR (CONT'D) CUT CUT CUT! He stands. DIRECTOR (CONT'D) Well!? WOMAN He touched me. DIRECTOR (to Dave) Are you retarded or something? The director turns to no one in particular. DIRECTOR (CONT'D) I thought I said no retards. DAVE If I may. DIRECTOR He speaks! Oh by all means. DAVE Well, you see, I felt like I needed an objective, you know, some motivation to help me get into character. DIRECTOR An objective? How about this. You're objective is to get off my set. You're fired! Dave gets up sheepishly and starts to leave as people start clapping. EXT. DAVE'S HOUSE - DAY Dave pulls up only to see a moving van blocking his driveway. DAVE (to himself) Hey whose van?

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From behind him, a voice. Dave turns to see Steve Burns, the ex host of the kids show "Blues Clues" (note: this could be any kids show host). STEVE Dave right? DAVE (hesitating) Yeah... STEVE Good to meet you...Steve. He extends his hand and Dave hesitantly shakes it. From inside the house we hear. VICKY (O.S.) Honey!? STEVE/DAVE Yeah!? They look at each other. STEVE/DAVE (CONT'D) COMING! They look at each other again. Steve smiles. Then they take off, racing toward the door, pushing, shoving, vying for position. Steve knocks Dave into the bushes. Vicky comes out, sees Steve first. VICKY There you are I... Its then she sees Dave as he extracts himself from the shrubbery. VICKY Oh, its you. Dave looks at her, at Steve, back at Vicky. STEVE Yeah, its pretty much what it looks like. Sorry dude. (to Vicky) I'll be inside. Steve enters the house. Vicky crosses her arms.

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DAVE How long have you... VICKY Six months. DAVE Six months!? (pondering) Six months. VICKY Yeah six. DAVE How... VICKY Actually it was pretty easy. DAVE So those weren't business trips. VICKY Duh...I don't even have a job. DAVE Oh. So that's it huh? VICKY Pretty much. Don't take it personally. You just weren't that great that's all. DAVE Yeah, I won't. VICKY In fact, you were pretty lame. DAVE I got it. VICKY I mean the sex. She makes a thumbs down signal as she makes a blah sound. DAVE Yeah, I got it. They stand there staring awkwardly at each other. Steve comes out with a box and dumps it into Dave's arms.

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STEVE Thanks dude. Man, that's heavy. What's in there Vick? VICKY Records. Dave looks in the box. DAVE But...these are my records. VICKY Call it restitution. Besides, this is the only thing you have left that's of any value. DAVE But, they're mine. Steve takes the box back from Dave. STEVE Here, let me take those off your hands. Steve walks down toward the van. STEVE (CONT'D) (over his shoulder to Vicky) Come on babe, we gotta get the van back by five. Vicky shrugs at Dave. VICKY Sorry. DAVE Yeah I'm sure you are. She reaches inside and plops a plastic bag containing a goldfish into his hand. VICKY Here. Dave looks down. DAVE What am I supposed to do with this?

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VICKY Don't ask me. But I'm sure you'll figure it out. She turns to leave, then remembers something and turns back. Dave looks expectantly. VICKY (CONT'D) Oh yeah, I almost forgot. She slaps a piece of paper into his other hand. Dave looks down at what is an eviction notice. VICKY (CONT'D) Says you have thirty days to come up with the money. She walks off down the path and gets into the van. STEVE Take it easy dude! Steve waves as the van takes off, leaving Dave standing alone on the stairs. Eviction notice in one hand, goldfish in the other. He holds the goldfish up to his face and it’s then we see that it’s belly up - dead. INT. DAVE'S HOUSE - DAY Dave stands in the middle of the empty living room. Well, not entirely empty, she did leave the bean bag chair. He and the dead goldfish have a seat. But the bag is so old it can hardly hold its shape. As Dave sits, the bean bag slumps to one side and he slides off. He climbs back on, falls backward. He tries to re-shape it and sits down, but the bean bag collapses. He gets up, looks at it, considers. EXT. DAVE'S HOUSE - DAY Dave comes out, fish in one hand, bean bag in other hand. He hurls the shapeless mass. It flies through the air, lands and explodes, spewing its innards - thousands of microscopic pellets - all over the yard. Dave doesn't look surprised so much as disappointed - another mishap in a day filled with mishaps. He looks down at the goldfish, considers, then hurls that too.

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INT. DAVE'S KITCHEN - DAY Dave comes in and opens fridge to find one beer. Ah, his luck is changing. He grabs it and the cap falls off - used. He takes a sip but all that comes out is a tiny drop. He puts the empty bottle back in the fridge. He grabs a "Stage West" from the counter. Just then the phone rings. DAVE (Picking up) Hello? We hear an older female voice on the other end - his mother. MOTHER Hi honey. DAVE Hi mom. MOTHER Everything ok honey? DAVE Peachy. MOTHER That’s nice. (a beat) Well I just wanted to call to tell you how sorry I am. DAVE About what? MOTHER About Vicky. You two were so great together. DAVE You...you knew? MOTHER Oh yes dear. DAVE How long have you known? MOTHER Oh, a couple weeks dear.

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DAVE A couple WEEKS?! A couple weeks and you didn’t think to tell me? MOTHER Oh no, that’s between you two. DAVE Great. Can I call you back? MOTHER You can call me anytime dear. He hangs up and goes into the living room and plops on the floor. In a time lapse sequence we see him flip through the casting ads. DAVE Looking for 19 year old blonde female...redhead...brunette...child ren...midgets...mimes...ah, male athlete... (he considers) No. FADE TO: INT. DOROTHY CHANDLER PAVILION. STAGE - NIGHT Angle on Jack Nicholson opening the winning envelope. JACK And the winner for best actor is... Dave! Angle on Dave acting surprised, tearing up, mouthing "thank you" as he waves. Everyone is there... We see a subtitle as we pass by the faces...the two Toms...Spielberg etc etc. We follow Dave as he climbs the stairs and turns, Jack winks at him. Angle on: The audience, as they start to rise. Shouts of Bravo! And Encore! Close on: Dave, wallowing in the admiration. But then the expression on his face changes as he realizes something isn't quite right. He looks down and gasps. W.S - From far away, over the audiences and it seems he is naked. We swoop down toward Dave, until we are close on him. completely naked. Dave looks at over at Oscar under his arm as he too claps.

heads, we see Dave, toward the stage and He in fact is Jack, who is holding

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JACK (CONT'D) (looking down) Bravo, well done. Dave hesitates. Then Jack grabs his hand and holds his arm up in victory. JACK (CONT'D) Very well done indeed! INT. DAVE'S HOUSE - LATER Dave, asleep on the Stage West. DAVE (dreaming) Thank you, I love all of you. Then he wakes with a start...looks around dazed. The side of his face is covered in newspaper that came off while he was sleeping. We follow him as he goes into the bathroom, washes his face. He goes back out to the living room. He surveys the emptiness. Then his face lights up with an idea. He goes to the phone, takes a card out of the wallet in his back pocket. The card reads "Discreet Delivery - George Jensen, principal. No questions asked". Dave regards this for a moment, puts the card on the counter and starts dialing. He hangs up mid dial. Dials again, this time getting through the full seven digits. The phone starts ringing, a voice answers. GEORGE (O.S.) Discreet. Dave hangs up. He looks at the phone as if to dial again, but has second thoughts and puts it down. Just when he does, the phone rings. He picks it up. DAVE Hello? GEORGE You always hang up on people you're trying to call? DAVE No...I...

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GEORGE Yeah. So...long time no speak, how ya doin' buddy? DAVE Pretty good. GEORGE Really. Cause that's not what I heard. I heard that Vicky left you. DAVE Just great. How did you find that out? GEORGE She is my sister ya know. Anything I can do? DAVE You can tell her to un-breakup with me. GEORGE Sorry, no can do big guy. Little sis doesn't listen. Got a mind of her own. You know how it is. Hell I'm surprised she lasted this long. Normally she starts sleeping around with lots of guys. But I hear it was just one, so consider yourself lucky. She must've really liked you. DAVE Apparently not enough. GEORGE Yeah right...Guess not. Awkward silence. GEORGE (CONT'D) So uh, hey listen, how's everything else? How's the career going? DAVE (not sounding too convincing) Oh...great. You know. GEORGE That bad eh?

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DAVE Pretty much. GEORGE I thought you had a part in some movie. DAVE Yeah...not anymore. GEORGE I see...what happened? DAVE Artistic differences. GEORGE Ahh...right, well that happens. Tough break. But I'm sure you'll find something else. Hell, it's LA right? They must be knockin’ down the Dave door. DAVE Yeah...not really. GEORGE Mmm...tough business. Well you're young, you got plenty of years left. DAVE It's my birthday. GEORGE Really? Happy birthday buddy. How old? 28? DAVE Thirty. GEORGE Thirty...jeez...really? I had no idea you were so... DAVE Don’t say it. GEORGE Thirty. Well, with age comes maturity right? Or wisdom. I can’t remember which one.

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DAVE Yeah...not really. GEORGE So. Ok then. DAVE So. GEORGE Well...ho, hey, look at that time. I better motor. Business is really picking up, so I gotta... As George is about to hang up... DAVE Wait. GEORGE (hesitant...as If he knows whats coming) Whatsup? DAVE Listen...you got any gigs? Anything. You know. I'm kinda strapped right now. GEORGE Oh gee, I'd love to help out, but... DAVE I got an eviction notice. Thirty days. GEORGE This just ain't your week is it buddy? Gosh, I don't...I...well... DAVE What? GEORGE Well...I don't know. DAVE What? GEORGE Well, I got this job, but I dunno. It's kinda...

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DAVE I'll do it. GEORGE Kinda high profile. Big client. DAVE You can count on me. As a favor...after all your sister did dump me. GEORGE Now, hold on there buddy, that wasn't my fault. I stuck up for you, told her she shouldn't be seeing someone else... DAVE You.Knew? GEORGE Uhh...oh...I...Well...Yes. DAVE How long did...oh, never mind, don't bother answering. So come on, you got a job for me or what? Silence as George thinks. GEORGE Oh hell alright...only cause I feel guilty. DAVE Great! GEORGE Can you come in? DAVE Yeah, yeah, sure. When? GEORGE Come by in an hour. DAVE You got it. GEORGE Pack a suitcase.

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DAVE Suitcase? GEORGE Yeah, you're goin on a little trip. Tell you when you get here. DAVE You won't regret this. GEORGE I hope not. Click! George hangs up. Dave stares at the phone. EXT. STRIP MALL - LATER Dave pulls into the mini strip mall and parks in a space marked "Discreet". On one side is a dry cleaners and to the other a copy shop. A small camera above the entry way tracks all movement coming into and out of Discreet's doors. INT. DISCREET DELIVERY SERVICES Dave enters and walks up to a window, much like the kind you would see in a dentists office. Behind it is a woman, foot up on the desk, giving herself a pedicure. WOMAN What do you want? DAVE I'm, uh, here to see George. WOMAN Dave right? (Dave nods) He's been expecting you, go on back. The woman buzzes him in and Dave heads down a hallway, turns a corner and goes to the last door. He knocks. GEORGE (O.S.) Come in! Dave opens the door. George looks up. George is a large bear of a man with a gentle face. The man across from him is Jeff, small, wiry. Between them a chessboard. George slams a piece down on the board. GEORGE (CONT'D) Check.

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Jeff considers. GEORGE (CONT'D) Well, come on fruitcake, you know you're gonna lose... (to Dave) Watch this. Jeff moves, pauses and looks up at George. George starts to reach for a piece. JEFF Checkmate. GEORGE Knight to...what? JEFF Checkmate. GEORGE That ain't checkmate. Dave this look like checkmate? Dave wanders over and looks. DAVE Yeah. GEORGE You want a job or not? DAVE Okay, not checkmate. GEORGE See two to one says it ain't checkmate... JEFF What do you mean two to one? This ain't a democracy. This isn't a matter of a vote, it's a fact. Checkmate. GEORGE Check nothing, two to one. JEFF Two to one? GEORGE Yeah, two to one.

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Jeff looks at Dave as if to say “help me out”. Dave only shrugs. JEFF I won. Two to one. Checkmate. You know, like, you lose, like give up, like you have nowhere to move your king kind of checkmate. They stare each other down, then George smiles, reaches over, grabs Jeff's neck and kisses his forehead. GEORGE I love this guy. (to Dave) Don't you love this guy? Jeff stands. JEFF Why you gotta do that? I hate when you do that. GEORGE Do what? JEFF Do what? That. Why can't you admit when you lost. Always the same, ever since we was kids. GEORGE What are you so uptight about Mommas boy? JEFF That's it, I'm outta here... GEORGE Alright, alright, you won, I lost. Happy now? JEFF No. Jeff gets up. GEORGE But I let you win, you know that. Jeff's face curls up in frustration.

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GEORGE (CONT’D) (to Dave) I love when he does that. (to Jeff) I'm just kiddin' man. JEFF (to Dave) Good luck. Jeff turns and walks out. GEORGE You have brothers Dave? DAVE No. GEORGE Probably just as well. George goes behind his desk, sits and pulls out a file, plops it on his desk. Its then that he notices that Dave is dressed in an all black suit, save for the white shirt. GEORGE (CONT'D) (re: suit) What's with the costume? You come here from work? DAVE Helps me get in character. George looks at Dave, considering him. GEORGE I can trust you with this one right? DAVE Of course. GEORGE Your sure you're up for it. What with my sister... DAVE Can.we.not.talk.about.that. GEORGE Yeah, sure, good idea. So, here's the deal. My client has this thing.

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DAVE Thing. GEORGE Yeah, a... (he looks at the paper in the file) Some briefcase. DAVE Briefcase. Contain anything valuable? GEORGE Dunno. DAVE Well, did you ask? GEORGE No. That's why the name of our company is called Discreet. DAVE Oh. Right. GEORGE Yeah, so anyway. You pack a bag like I told you? DAVE Yeah. GEORGE Good, cause you're going to New York. Don't have problems with aeroplanes do you? DAVE (hesitating) Airplanes? No. George punches a button. GEORGE Tell Harris to get in here. A minute later a guy dressed in a bowling shirt, shorts and sandals enters. HARRIS What's up? This the guy?

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Harris studies Dave. HARRIS (CONT'D) He reliable? DAVE What is this? GEORGE Yeah, he's reliable. Sorry Dave, Harris is just a little...cautious. Anyway, here... He hands the folder to Dave. GEORGE (CONT'D) Everything's in there. When you get to New York, go straight to the Sheraton Towers on 54th street. Give them your name. There will be a room in your name. Check in and wait for the call. They’ll tell you where the drop will take place. DAVE Who is they? George gives him a look. DAVE I guess we’re being discrete about that one too. Harris pauses. GEORGE What? HARRIS You said ‘drop’. GEORGE Yeah, so? HARRIS Well, the word drop usually connotes some kind of illicit deal or event. GEORGE It what? George looks at Dave who shrugs.

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HARRIS You know. Connotes. Verb, to express or state indirectly. To designate by implication. GEORGE Doesn't anyone speak English anymore? HARRIS To imply. GEORGE I'm not implying anything. Anyway, we're not a drug running business...not so far as I know...not yet anyway, although it sure would be lucrative. But no, I'm not implying anything. DAVE Ok. So what's he for? GEORGE He's gonna drive you to the airport. DAVE What for? I've got my own car. George is obviously getting annoyed. GEORGE Look, you want this job or not? HARRIS You sure you trust this guy? DAVE Look... HARRIS Harris. GEORGE Yes, I trust him, right Dave? DAVE Yeah.

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GEORGE Okay then. Can we end this conversation now? I've got a headache. DAVE I really appreciate this. GEORGE Yeah, yeah, now please leave before I change my mind. Dave and Harris exit. DAVE Shotgun. INT. HARRIS'S CAR - DAY Harris drives, Dave sitting next to him, a Thomas Guide on his lap. HARRIS So, what's with the outfit? DAVE It's my modus operandi. HARRIS You mean disguise. DAVE What? HARRIS You mean disguise. DAVE What's the difference? HARRIS Well, a disguise is a costume. A means of concealing ones identity by modifying the appearance. Used as a noun you might say "he is the master of disguise". Or it could be used as a verb meaning to make unrecognizable as in the example "we disguised our faces when we robbed the bank". Dave says nothing, too dumbfounded to respond.

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HARRIS (CONT'D) We getting close? DAVE Next exit. So then what's... HARRIS Modus Operandi? An unvarying or habitual method of procedure. Or in layman's terms it is ones particular method of operation. So for instance in the case of serial killers, all the big ones have a "modus operandi" or a particular mode of operation. DAVE Take a right here. Harris makes a right. HARRIS See by understanding the way a person operates, such as in the case of a serial killer, one can discover a pattern, or routine that could be used to help predict where such a person might strike next. DAVE Left. HARRIS (turning) Now it is true that you may have a modus operandi, but in this case, given your intention, I don't think it really applies. DAVE It doesn't. HARRIS No. DAVE I think that's it up there. Why not? HARRIS Well see in your case, I think what you were trying to say...

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Harris pulls up to a gate, rings the buzzer. HARRIS (CONT'D) ...is that you are wearing that outfit as an outward semblance so as to misrepresent the true nature of things. VOICE Yes? HARRIS Discreet, we're here to... VOICE Yes, come in, you're expected. The gate opens. HARRIS In particular your true nature. DAVE My true nature. HARRIS Yes. They proceed up a driveway to a cul-de-sac and park in one of the empty spots. HARRIS (CONT'D) It's an interesting choice. For some reason you feel you need to have a disguise or costume to conceal your true identity. They both get out and proceed to the front door. HARRIS (CONT'D) Further analysis might conclude that you are somehow uncomfortable or unsure of your true self. Harris opens the door for Dave. HARRIS (CONT'D) After you. DAVE Thanks. It does?

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INT. DARGON INDUSTRIES - DAY They approach a large security desk. The lobby is cavernous and from the looks of all the cameras and keyless entries, security is very tight. HARRIS Yes, and therefore you are using the costume so that you can pretend to be someone you are not. DAVE You think so? (whispering to Security Desk Guard; quietly as if telling a secret) We're here for the job. HARRIS Case in point. SECURITY DESK GUARD What? HARRIS We're from Discreet. We’re here for the pickup. SECURITY DESK GUARD Hold on. The Guard dials. SECURITY DESK GUARD I got two guys from Discreet here...Yes sir. The Guard hangs up. SECURITY DESK GUARD They'll be down in a minute. ID? Harris and Dave display their licenses. The guard gives them visitor IDs. A man in a white coat - Bob from the first scene - approaches. BOB Gentlemen, come with me. DAVE (reaching out to shake) Dave, this is...

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BOB Names are not necessary, I know who you are. Bob turns and the two follow in tow. INT. WHITE ROOM This is a nondescript all bleached white room with no furniture save for a small metal table on which rests the briefcase we saw in the beginning. Wendell stands, a hand resting on the briefcase. WENDELL Gentlemen, welcome. I assume you have your instructions? HARRIS Yes, this it? WENDELL This is it. Dave walks up to Wendell, reaches out his hand. DAVE Hey, how's it goin...Dave. So, what's in the briefcase? Wendell looks at Bob, who looks at Wendell. They both look at Harris who shakes his head. HARRIS Dave. DAVE Yeah? HARRIS There's a reason the companies’ called Discreet. Dave ponders this. DAVE Oh, right. Sorry guys...my bad. I'm kinda new...you know how it is... HARRIS Dave. DAVE What?

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HARRIS Shut it. Bob and Wendell do not look altogether confident. HARRIS (CONT'D) (Reaching for the briefcase) Gentlemen, you have our utmost confidence. Wendell grips the briefcase tightly as Harris takes hold. HARRIS (CONT'D) You can trust us. Harris pulls the briefcase away and hands it to Dave. Wendell reluctantly lets go. BOB Hold on. Bob reaches in his coat, extracts a pair of high tech looking handcuffs, hands them to Dave. DAVE (looking down at them) What are these for? BOB Just a precaution. Put them on the moment you get off the plane. DAVE Do I get the key too? BOB Don’t you think that would defeat the purpose? DAVE Right. BOB Someone will have the key when you make the drop. (to Harris) I trust he’ll be safe until he gets the airport. HARRIS That’s why I’m here.

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Dave looks at Harris. DAVE There’s that word ‘drop’ again. BOB What? HARRIS (CONT'D) (interupting) Any change in plans, call the office, they’ll know how to reach us. BOB Change in plans. HARRIS I'm saying if. They all regard each other. HARRIS Okay, so if that’s all, we’ll be going. Good day gentlemen. Harris glances at Dave as if to say "follow me quietly". They exit. WENDELL What do you think? BOB He's perfect. WENDELL Mmmm. EXT. DARGON INDUSTRIES LAB Harris and Dave get in the car. Harris starts up the car and pulls in reverse. HARRIS What do you do anyway? He puts the car in drive and pulls away down the driveway and through the gate. DAVE What do you mean?

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HARRIS Well for instance, what was your last job? DAVE I worked on a movie. HARRIS Doing what? DAVE Acting. I'm an actor. Harris looks over at Dave. HARRIS An actor. How come I've never seen you in anything? DAVE Well... HARRIS You an extra? DAVE Yeah. HARRIS Ah, that explains everything. Dave remains silent. INT. DARGON INDUSTRIES. SECURITY DESK - DAY We see the front desk security guard, phone to his ear. SECURITY DESK GUARD It's me. They're on their way. EXT. LOS ANGELES AIRPORT - DAY Harris enters the terminal loop. HARRIS What airline? DAVE United. Dave is perspiring, his breathing slightly heavy.

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HARRIS (looks at Dave) You alright? DAVE Yeah, just a little hot, that’s all. It’s so hot, aren’t you hot? Harris looks at him a moment. DAVE (CONT'D) What? HARRIS You're not afraid of flying by any chance? Dave says nothing. HARRIS (CONT'D) Perfect. INT. PARKING LOT - DAY Harris pulls the car into an empty space, kills the engine. CUT TO: POV: Looking out of the windshield of another car we see Harris and Dave as they get out. FEMALE VOICE Keep driving. Her head turns to catch a glimpse of the two and we see a sliver of the woman's face, but not enough to make it discernible. The mystery car glides past and turns a corner. FEMALE VOICE (CONT'D) Let me off here. The car slows to a stop and the woman jumps out. INT. TICKET COUNTER - DAY Dave and Harris step up to the ticket counter. Dave is mumbling. DAVE Okay...gonna be okay.

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HARRIS (under his breath) Stop that. TICKET CLERK ID? Dave just stands there doing nothing. HARRIS Sorry...he’s a little out of it. (to Dave) Gimme your wallet. Dave hands Harris his wallet. Harris turns to the clerk. HARRIS He’s nervous. First time flying. TICKET CLERK (considering Dave) Well, I’m sure you’ll survive. (winks at Dave) Planes rarely crash. DAVE So not okay. TICKET CLERK Destination? HARRIS New York. She hands him a ticket. TICKET CLERK (winking at Dave) There you go. Have a safe trip. Dave and Harris walk off. DAVE Did you see that? I think I feel sick. HARRIS Let’s get you a drink. INT. BAR - DAY Dave and Harris take seats at the bar.

35.

BARTENDER (super duper cheerful) You fellas care to try one of our far out martinis? Harris eyes him suspiciously. HARRIS Lithium? BARTENDER I'm sorry sir? HARRIS Nevermind. What do you have in a light beer? Dave throws him a look. HARRIS (CONT'D) I'm on the market, need to watch those calories. BARTENDER (to Dave) What about you there fella? Harris examines the drink list. HARRIS Here's one for you...The Electric Barbarella. DAVE (hesitates) Sure, why not. BARTENDER Alrighty, good choice. Electric Barbarella it is. The bartender walks off. HARRIS That's one cheerful fucker. Never trust people who are cheerful. Cheerful people always have something to hide. DAVE That's not true. I'm cheerful.

36.

HARRIS No you’re not. INT. BAR - LATER Dave is just north of buzzed, as he polishes off another drink. DAVE Where ya goin? HARRIS (getting up) Be right back and then it’s time to go. DAVE Okay dokey partner. Dave scans the bar and it's then that he notices a woman sitting at the end of the bar - and she's staring right at him. Dave looks behind him, thinking she must be staring at someone else, but there is no one else. He looks back to see her mouth "hi". He gives her an exaggerated "who me" and "aw shucks". She laughs. Then he gives her his most suave look and winks at her. She gets up and comes toward him. He panics - afraid with his luck that she's going to slap him. Meet Claire. DAVE (CONT'D) Oh no...Look I'm really sorry, I didn't mean anything... He braces himself, preparing for the worst. She sits down next to him. CLAIRE You're cute. DAVE Huh? CLAIRE I think you're cute. DAVE Oh...why? CLAIRE You got a name?

37.

DAVE Dave. CLAIRE Aviatophobia? DAVE No, I'm not really afraid of birds why? CLAIRE Flying. DAVE Oh...Yeah...how'd you know? CLAIRE The way you've been putting those down. DAVE You've been watching? CLAIRE There's two reasons a guy drinks like that in an airport. One, you lost your girlfriend, or two, fear of flying. I put my money on two. DAVE Safe bet, although I did lose my girlfriend. CLAIRE Bummer. You seem like such a nice guy. What happened? DAVE Yeah, well, women don't seem to want the nice guys anymore. CLAIRE (banging the bar with her fist) You know, that really pisses me off. DAVE Why?

38.

CLAIRE It's no wonder its so hard to find a nice guy these days. They've all been kicked around like you. DAVE I wouldn't say I was kicked around. CLAIRE But she broke your heart didn't she? You gave her your heart and she just ripped it out, threw it on the floor, stomped all over it and then handed the broken pieces back to you all bloody and crushed. DAVE (wincing) Was it that bad? CLAIRE And you wonder why there are no more nice one's out there...except for you of course. DAVE Here's to me. The last nice guy left. CLAIRE To Dave. They clink glasses and down their drinks. Just then Harris comes back, stands next to Dave and eyes Claire suspiciously. CLAIRE (CONT'D) Hi. (to Dave as she winks at him) I can tell he's the shy type. Harris grunts. HARRIS Come on big guy, it's time to go. Say goodbye to the nice lady. DAVE Goodbye nice lady. CLAIRE Looks like this is my cue. You take care Dave.

39.

She gets up to leave. DAVE Yeah, okey dokey. As she’s walking away... CLAIRE (over her shoulder, winking) See you 'round Dave. Harris looks after her suspiciously. INT. TERMINAL - DAY Harris and Dave approach security. HARRIS This is where we part ways. Remember what I said right? DAVE Yeah, yeah, don't talk to strangers. But she was real pretty Harris, wasn't she? I think I'm in love. HARRIS Yeah, sure. Say, you sure you're gonna be alright? DAVE Peachy. He turns and hugs Harris. DAVE (CONT'D) I love you man. You're the best. Harris pushes him away. HARRIS Get.off.me. DAVE Sorry, I’m not very good with goodbyes. HARRIS You might wanna get some coffee. And some breath mints.

40.

DAVE I won't let you down. HARRIS Cut that shit out. Call me when you get in. DAVE Surely. Dave turns and heads for security, mouthing "bye". Harris looks around uncomfortably. CUT TO: Dave moves up in line. SECURITY GUARD Please remove everything from your pockets, take out laptops and place all items on the conveyor. Dave empties his pockets, lays everything on the conveyor belt and walks through. As Dave starts collecting his things, the guard stops him, reaches down and holds up the handcuffs. GUARD These yours? DAVE Oh...yeah. GUARD You a cop or something? DAVE Oh no. (leaning in) Gift for my girlfriend. She’s been a very bad girl. GUARD (handing them over) Right. Too much information. Keeping moving. Dave proceeds toward the gate. Overhead on the intercom we hear...

41.

INTERCOM Flight 349 to New York La Guardia, boarding all rows. INT. PLANE Dave moves to his seat and sits down. One of the flight attendants walks by and notices Dave holding the briefcase. FLIGHT ATTENDANT I’m sorry sir, but you’ll have to stow that under the seat or in the overhead compartment. DAVE I’m not supposed to let this out of my site. She stands there and folds her arms, visibly annoyed. DAVE I’ll just put it under the seat. Dave leans down and tries shoving it upright under the seat. FLIGHT ATTENDANT (exasperated) Try laying it down flat. DAVE Oh. He lays it down and slides it under the seat. DAVE Thanks, I got it. FLIGHT ATTENDANT (under her breath) Rookie. She shakes her head and moves on. INT. PLANE - LATER Dave sits next to the exit window, quietly reading the inflight magazine. The seat next to him is empty. From behind him he hears... CLAIRE (O.S.) What a coincidence.

42.

DAVE What? Dave looks up to see Claire standing in the aisle. DAVE Oh. I didn't know you were... CLAIRE (motioning to the empty seat) You mind? DAVE Sure...I mean no go ahead. She plops down next to him. CLAIRE Miss me? He smiles awkwardly. INT. PLANE - LATER We see Dave gripping the arms of his seat in fear. The plane bumps. DAVE Oh god, I don’t want to die. Please don’t let me die. People are starting at him. Claire looks over at him. She reaches down, takes one of his hands in hers. CLAIRE Better? He relaxes a little. DAVE Much. INT. PLANE - LATER Claire is asleep. Dave watches her. She turns in her seat toward him. He quickly shuts his eyes, pretending to sleep. She settles her head on his shoulder. He opens one eye, peeking at her, then settles in.

43.

INT. PLANE - LATER Now the both of them are asleep. Time lapse montage as we see them shift around, the sun setting outside the window. The montage ends with his head against a pillow on the window and her face buried in his neck. INT. PLANE - LATER The two of them are sleeping. Dave slowly opens his eyes, looks out the window. Out the window we can see the plane is parked at the gate. It is night outside. Dave lifts his head from the pillow revealing a wet drool spot. Claire wakes, looks up and out the window. We see a spot of drool on his shirt where her face was. Dave looks at this. CLAIRE Sorry. Dave looks at the drool on his pillow. She sees this. They look at each other - love at first drool. It looks like they might kiss when a maintenance man goes by with a LOUD vacuum. The man pauses, looks at them a moment, then keeps going. They jump up and hurry off the plane. EXT. LAGUARDIA AIRPORT - NIGHT Dave and Claire stand outside the terminal, an awkward silence between them. DAVE So. CLAIRE So. DAVE I guess I better... CLAIRE This is usually the part where you give me your number, ask if I want to share a cab, you know, that kind of thing. DAVE Oh. But he just stands there looking at her.

44.

CLAIRE So, do you want to share a cab? DAVE Ok. CLAIRE Where you headed? DAVE The Sheraton on 54th. You? CLAIRE Sounds good to me. DAVE (signalling) Let me just...bathroom. CLAIRE I’ll be here. INT. MENS ROOM - NIGHT Dave stands at the sink, considering the handcuffs. DAVE Here goes nothing. He attaches one end to the handle of the briefcase and the other to his wrist. He hesitates and then notices the man next to him watching. DAVE Hi. He picks up the briefcase and exits - the man watches him leave. EXT. LAGUARDIA. TAXI STAND - NIGHT Dave and Claire reach the front of the line. Behind them stands a huge Samoan man the size of a linebacker. DAVE Where do your parents live? CLAIRE Uptown. Westside. Claire looks back at the Samoan. He smiles.

45.

DAVE So you're from New York. CLAIRE (still looking back; distracted) Yup. TAXI ATTENDANT Destination? DAVE Sheraton Towers, 54th and 6th. TAXI ATTENDANT Manhattan. He signals for a taxi to pull up. Claire and Dave begin to move toward it. Just then a limo zooms up, cuts the taxi off and pulls to a stop. The passenger door flies open. In one quick motion, the Samoan standing behind them shoves Claire aside, grabs Dave, lifts him up, tosses Dave prone in through the open door and gets in behind. The door closes and the limo pulls away. CLAIRE Hey... (looking at the attendant) Hey...Did you see that? TAXI ATTENDANT Yeah, guess he changed his mind. I wouldn't take it too hard. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Another taxi pulls up. The Attendant hands her a pamphlet. TAXI ATTENDANT (CONT'D) Have a nice stay. NEXT! Claire jumps in. CLAIRE (to taxi driver) An extra fifty if you don't lose that limo. INT. LIMO - NIGHT Dave lies face down on the floor staring down at a huge pair of feet.

46. A hand reaches down and YANKS him back onto the seat. Dave finds himself between a pair of Samoans, possibly twins, Dave jammed between them. Dave looks back and forth between the two. But they stare straight ahead. DAVE How's it goin'? No response. He turns to the one on his left, reaches out his hand. This is Phil. DAVE (CONT'D) Dave. The man doesn't budge. So Dave turns to the other one, reaches out his hand. A beat then the man reaches down and shakes his hand. This is Tiny. TINY Tiny. DAVE Aloha Tiny. PHIL Tolofa. DAVE What? PHIL You mean Tolofa. Hello in Samoan is Tolofa. Aloha is Hawaiian, we're not Hawaiian. DAVE Oh. What are you then? PHIL Duh...Samoan. Dave turns toward Tiny, who is the bigger one. Dave looks him up and down. TINY What? DAVE What are you 400, 450? TINY What of it?

47.

DAVE Well, don't you think it's kind of ironic? Tiny looks at him suspiciously. DAVE Your name is Tiny. I mean don’t you find that funny? Tiny turns away. PHIL I'd be careful. He's sensitive about his weight...Sissy boy. DAVE Oh, I didn't... TINY Don't call me sissy. PHIL Sissy boy. DAVE Fellas... TINY I'm not a sissy. They start bitch slapping each other. Dave, caught in the middle, is BATTED around. PHIL Sissy! TINY Bitch! DAVE Peace...PEACE! Suddenly a quiet but stern voice comes from the other end of the limo. MR. G ENOUGH. A light flicks on to reveal a man in a powder blue ascot with “YALE” written across the front in large white letters, a yorkie perched on his lap. The Yorkie wears a matching miniature ascot that also reads “YALE”. This is Mr. G.

48. Mr G puts the yorkie aside, moves toward Dave and grabs the briefcase. He examines the 'cuffs. MR. G (CONT'D) Give me the keys. DAVE The keys. MR. G Yes, the keys. Now. DAVE I don’t have the keys. Tiny wraps his forearm around Dave's head and squeezes. DAVE (CONT'D) OW! MR. G Keys. DAVE (rapid-fire) I don't have the keys, they never gave me the keys. That would defeat the whole purpose. TINY He has a point. Mr. G glares at Tiny. TINY I’m just saying. Mr. G turns to Dave. MR. G This is most unfortunate. Most unfortunate. Mr. G moves back onto his seat. Mr. G makes a motion and Tiny releases Dave from his death grip. Dave cradles his head in his hands. DAVE Ow, that really hurt. TINY Sorry, just doing my job.

49.

MR. G I guess we'll have to go to Plan B. TINY (looking at Phil) What's Plan B? PHIL Beats me, ask him. I didn't even know there was a Plan B. What's Plan B? TINY Yeah, what's Plan B? MR. G You'll see, just shut up. He clicks the light off and is shrouded in darkness again. INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT Mr. G enters followed by Phil, Dave then Tiny. Mr. G closes the door. TINY This is Plan B? MR. G No one will be able to hear us in here. DAVE I don't think I like the sound of that. MR. G I don't suppose you should. (to Tiny) Okay, open it. TINY How am I supposed to open it when I don't got nothing to open it with? MR. G Use your imagination. Tiny approaches Dave. Dave backs away. TINY Stay still. I won't hurt you.

50.

DAVE Promise? TINY No, but I’ll try my best. Tiny grabs the suitcase. He examines it. It doesn't appear to have any latches. He turns it over and over. Then he shakes it, shaking Dave in the process. MR. G Hurry up. TINY I'm working out a strategy. Tiny holds the briefcase out in front of him. TINY (CONT'D) (To Dave) Get on your knees. DAVE Look, I'm not that kinda guy... Tiny pulls the suitcase, and Dave, down to the floor, laying the briefcase sideways. TINY (getting up) Don't move. DAVE You bet. Tiny stomps on the suitcase with one foot. The floor shakes. Tiny looks down, not even a scratch. TINY That's one tough briefcase. He stomps again. Nothing. TINY (CONT'D) That sure is a tough briefcase. MR. G Come on already, we don’t have all day. PHIL Yeah come on throw some of that weight behind it.

51.

TINY Don't start. Phil puts his hands up. TINY (CONT'D) (thinking) Let's see... (looking around) Just need a running start. He backs up to the wall. DAVE I don’t think I like this strategy. TINY (to Dave) Better turn your head. DAVE Please don't miss. PHIL Don’t move. DAVE I'm not moving! PHIL Jeez, alright, no need to get all worked up. DAVE Wanna trade places? PHIL Hell no. Phil and Mr. G back away. TINY Well...here goes nothing. PHIL (looking away) I can't watch. DAVE That makes two of us. In slow motion Tiny runs toward Dave and the briefcase.

52.

POV: Dave, as Tiny comes straight toward him, like a giant elephant. DAVE (slow motion) Ohhhh...shiiiiit!!! Tiny's mouth opens and let's out a slow drawling primordial scream. TINY Aiiiieeeeee!!! Dave covers his head. Phil and Mr. G turn their heads. Tiny LEAPS in the air and comes down HARD onto the briefcase. With a loud CRASH the floor COLLAPSES as the briefcase and Tiny's legs disappear into the floorboards, sending up splinters and a cloud of dust. Tiny stands there, the lower part of his legs buried in the floor. PHIL Well, that was interesting. MR. G Jesus. DAVE (peeking out) Am I still alive? Tiny looks down at his legs, then at Phil. TINY Well, you gonna help me out or what? Phil and Mr. G go over to help pry Tiny's legs from the floor. Just then the floor starts to creak. DAVE What’s that? Tiny looks down. TINY Shit. Suddenly the floor under Tiny starts to crumble. Phil and Mr. G quickly jump back as the floor around Tiny collapses and Tiny disappears through the floor.

53.

INT. LOWER APARTMENT - NIGHT An old man and his wife lie in bed. She hears the noise and turns to her husband. WIFE (yelling into his ear) You hear that dear? OLD MAN Yes, and you don’t have to yell, that’s my good ear. A beat and then the ceiling above them caves in as Tiny, along with pieces of wood and plaster rains down on them. Tiny lands with a WHOMP in the middle of the bed as the two roll in opposite directions out of the way. INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT Mr. G, Dave and Phil - all gathered around looking down through the hole in the floor at Tiny and the old couple. PHIL You okay? TINY What do you think? Yeah, I’m okay. Tiny looks over at the old man. TINY Everyone alright? The two of them just stare at Tiny speechless. TINY I hope you got good insurance. WIFE (to husband) That’s the last straw. NOW can we move? Tiny struggles up and sits at the edge of the bed. OLD MAN This used to be such a nice neighborhood.

54.

MR. G You done messing around? TINY Gimme a sec - I did just fall through the floor. INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT The four of them peer down at the shiny, silver briefcase... unscathed. TINY (CONT'D) Man, that is one tough briefcase. PHIL Tell me about it. Tiny looks at Mr. G. TINY You got a Plan C? DAVE Let's hope not. Mr. G goes to the window, opens it and looks out. EXT. ALLEYWAY - NIGHT Through binoculars, we see Mr. G peering out the window, looking down. EXT. ALLEYWAY - NIGHT We see Frankie, wiry with a tight face, leaning out of the driver's side of a black Lincoln Town car. FRANKIE (into a microphone, whispering) Well? We pull out to reveal Sal who is perched on a fire escape just above the car looking across at the window to the apartment. SAL (into a microphone, whispering) (MORE)

55.

SAL(cont'd) Looks like they're trying another Plan. FRANKIE Oh yeah, what's that? Sal holds up the binoculars, a beat... POV: Binoculars. We see Mr. G signal. SAL Can't tell but one of the guys just opened the window. FRANKIE (O.S.) Opened the window? SAL Yeah, he's looking down. We see Phil and Tiny carry Dave to the window. SAL (CONT'D) Wait, now the big guys carrying him to the window. FRANKIE That can’t be good. INT. APARTMENT The Samoans stand next to the window holding Dave. PHIL What now? Mr. G motions to the window. MR. G Toss him. Tiny pauses to look at Mr. G. TINY I don't know if that's such a good idea, someone might hear. DAVE Yeah, especially if I scream. Mr. G slaps electrical tape over his mouth. MR. G Okay, now throw him out.

56.

DAVE MMM!!! TINY The window? MR. G Yeah genius. Heave Ho. PHIL (looking out the window at the ground) That’s a little extreme don't you think? MR. G I didn't ask for your opinion. Let's go, I ain't got all day. Tiny peers out. TINY Won't it kill him? MR. G (exasperated) I have no idea. PHIL It might kill him. Besides, if the big guy couldn't break it open, what makes you think that dropping it out of the window is going to do anything? Mr. G considers a moment. TINY Yeah, and then all we got is some dead guy attached to a briefcase we still can’t open. PHIL And dead people tend to complicate things. Mr. G rubs his temples. MR. G Alright, alright, put him down. Tiny and Phil set Dave down on the floor next to the window. Mr. G pulls out his cell phone.

57.

PHIL Who you calling? MR. G The locksmith. TINY A locksmith? MR. G THE locksmith. TINY Oh. (to Phil) Who's this locksmith? PHIL (counting on his fingers) Does this mean we’re on Plan D? TINY You got me. I’ve lost count. (to Mr. G) How many plans you got anyway? MR. G Shut up. EXT. ALLEYWAY POV: Binoculars as we see Mr. G on the phone. FRANKIE (O.S.) What now? SAL Phone call. FRANKIE Reinforcements. SAL Should we make our move? FRANKIE Not yet. Let's wait and see what happens. Besides, we got all night. Anyway, your food’s gettin' cold. SAL Whatcha got?

58.

FRANKIE Meatballs. SAL Mmmm. Well, they ain't goin' nowhere anyhow. Sal starts to climb down. INT. APARTMENT - LATER A knock at the door. MR. G About time. He opens the door to reveal Claire - from his reaction it is obvious this is not who he was expecting. He looks out into the hallway. CLAIRE I'm alone. MR. G Good for you...And who the hell are you? CLAIRE Who the hell are you? MR. G I asked you first. CLAIRE How very high school of you...Claire. She steps in. Mr. G closes the door, gives her the once over. MR. G You sure you're in the right place? CLAIRE Yes. She smiles at Dave. CLAIRE (CONT'D) Hi hon. DAVE Mmmm!

59.

Mr. G watches this exchange. MR. G Okay, so you're like, what, the girlfriend? CLAIRE I'm here to rescue him. MR. G Really. Claire reaches in her jacket and pulls out a black device, points it at Mr. G. Mr. G looks at her in amusement. MR. G (CONT'D) What the fuck's that? A toy gu... But before he can continue she ZAPS him with what we realize now is a stun gun. MR. G (CONT'D) Shiit. Mr. G collapses to the floor in a spastic heap. PHIL Not bad. Mr. G writhes around, reaches out, trying to grab her. She winds up and kicks him in the crotch. Mr. G passes out. Tiny and Phil wince. TINY Jesus, that was kind of harsh. CLAIRE Just want to make my intentions clear. TINY Oh, it’s clear. Just then the yorkie bum rushes Claire and latches on to Claire's pant leg. Claire looks down at the dog, shakes her leg. CLAIRE Get.off.of.me.you.mangy.little.mutt She kicks it off. But the yorkie is not done and comes at her again. Claire winds up and PUNTS the mutt.

60. We follow the yorkie as it goes sailing in slow motion past the twins and out the window. EXT. ALLEYWAY - NIGHT On Frankie and Sal munching on thick meatball sandwiches, sauce dripping everywhere. Suddenly we hear a THUD as something lands on the hood of the car. They both stop eating. FRANKIE What the fuck was that? SAL I don’t know...a meteor? FRANKIE Don't be stupid. They both crane forward to look through the windshield at a small furry object lying prone on the hood of the car. FRANKIE (CONT'D) What the fuck is that? SAL Looks like some kind of animal. Maybe a squirrel. Musta fallen out of a tree. They both look out the window - there are no trees anywhere in sight. Suddenly the furry thing rises to it's tiny feet and shakes itself off. FRANKIE That ain't no squirrel...looks like a dog. SAL I'll be. What kind of breed is that? FRANKIE I think it's a yorkie. SAL Tough breed. The yorkie looks at the two men. FRANKIE (to the dog) Hey you, get the fuck off my hood.

61.

The yorkie growls. FRANKIE (CONT'D) Oh yeah tough guy? Whaddya think about this... Sal grabs his gun, shoves his hand out the window, points it at the yorkie and cocks the trigger. FRANKIE (CONT'D) I said get off my hood. SAL Whaddya doin? FRANKIE Whaddya think I’m doin? SAL It’s just a small defenseless animal. Just then the yorkie starts to pee on the hood. FRANKIE Motherfucker. Frankie cocks his gun. The yorkie growls, jumps off the car and scurries away. SAL Tough breed. They both look up at the window. FRANKIE What the hell are they doing up there? INT. APARTMENT Claire stands facing the twins. TINY I always hated that dog. PHIL So. CLAIRE So.

62.

PHIL There's two of us and one of you. Not very good odds. CLAIRE I'll take my chances. PHIL Alright... (gestures to Tiny) After you. TINY Why's it gotta be me all the time? PHIL 'Cause you're bigger. TINY Again with the weight. PHIL You're holding the lady up. Don't be rude. CLAIRE By all means, take your time. TINY Alright. Fine. Tiny walks right up to her and she ZAPS him. He takes it standing. She stops, waits for him to fall. TINY (CONT'D) Ungh. That stings. CLAIRE That's the point. She hits him again, this time longer. Again he takes it, shaking slightly from the electricity. She stops. Tiny wobbles, but remains standing. CLAIRE (CONT'D) Impressive. She hits him again and he collapses to one knee. She stops. CLAIRE (CONT'D) You alright?

63.

TINY Not really, I've been electrocuted. CLAIRE You need a moment? TINY No. He quickly swats at the stun gun, which sends it sailing across the room. It hits the wall and shatters. CLAIRE This isn't looking so good for me anymore. PHIL No, I suppose not. (to Tiny) Get up. TINY Give me a moment. Claire winds up and kicks him in the crotch, making him collapse in a heap of pain. TINY Ungh. PHIL You have a thing for that don’t you? CLAIRE It’s effective. PHIL I’ll give you that. CLAIRE Now it’s a little more even. Claire and Phil circle each other. Meanwhile across the room they fail to notice Dave, who is struggling to his feet by the open window, trying to get out of the ropes. Phil lunges out for Claire, reaching for her. She spins and kicks Phil in the crotch hard. Phil winces, but doesn’t fall. Phil turns to face her.

64.

CLAIRE Interesting. I usually get a different result. What gives? PHIL Technically I’m not a man. CLAIRE Really...you look like a man to me. PHIL My real name’s Phyllis. I was born female, but there’s a man inside just waiting to get out. CLAIRE You certainly had me fooled. They circle each other again. PHIL What are you gonna do now? CLAIRE Not sure yet. But you’ll be the first to know. Phil charges her. She takes his hand, locks his wrist and spins him around past her. She sends him sailing past behind her and right into Dave, knocking him out the window. DAVE Ahhhh! CLAIRE (spinning around) Dave! Phil turns to try and grab Dave, but it’s too late. PHIL Now look what you’ve done. INT. CAR - NIGHT On Frankie and Sal as they hear a THUMP across the alley. They look at each other. SAL What now? More dogs? FRANKIE Sounded bigger, let's check it out.

65.

EXT. ALLEYWAY - NIGHT Dave lies prone amidst a heap of garbage. He is not moving. Sal and Frankie loom over him. SAL Is he dead? FRANKIE Don't know. Check. SAL I'm not gonna touch him, you check. What if he's dead? I don't like touching dead people, it's bad luck. FRANKIE He ain't dead chickenhead. SAL How do you know? FRANKIE Alright, Jesus. Frankie leans down, feels under his nose, gets back up. SAL See? I told you he's dead. FRANKIE Shut up he ain't dead, he's breathing. Fall must've knocked him out. Come on, pick him up and let's get outta here. Sal reaches down, grabs the chair and pulls Dave from the heap. INT. APARTMENT Claire has recovered the stun gun and turns toward Phil. CLAIRE What’s happening? Phil peers out the window. He sees Sal and Frankie below loading Dave, chair and all, into the trunk.

66.

PHIL (CONT'D) Hey! Frankie and Sal look up. FRANKIE Hey shmuck! Thanks for the package! PHIL That's our hostage! INT. ALLEYWAY - NIGHT Frankie and Sal hop in the car and zoom out of the alley. INT. APARTMENT Phil turns to face Claire. CLAIRE What is it? PHIL They took him. CLAIRE Who? He shrugs. CLAIRE Well, I’d love to stay... She moves toward the door and as she does stuns Mr. G. CLAIRE One for good measure. (to Phil over her shoulder) Have a nice day! She exits. PHIL Next time! Phil moves to Tiny. PHIL You alright?

67.

TINY Considering the fact that I’ve fallen through the floor, been kicked in the nuts and electrocuted...twice. Yeah, I’m just swell. Mr. G slowly rises. MR. G What happened? PHIL Looks like we’re not the only interested party. MR. G You let her take him? PHIL No, someone else. MR. G Who? Phil shrugs. Mr. G tries to get up but collapses. MR. G I think I may need some help. Tiny gets up as Phil picks up Mr. G off the floor into his arms cradle style. MR. G Gentle... PHIL Sorry. All three of them exit. MR. G (O.S.) I swear if I ever find that woman... INT. CAR - NIGHT Sal and Frankie ride quietly. Sal looks over at Frankie. SAL So what do we do now?

68.

FRANKIE I got a plan. SAL I mean about the 'cuffs, that thing is cuffed to his wrist. FRANKIE I know a guy. SAL What, like a friend? FRANKIE No, more like an associate. Sal ponders this. SAL An associate. FRANKIE Yeah. SAL Not a friend. FRANKIE Well he's sort of a friend. SAL Well I'm your friend. Does that make me like an associate? FRANKIE No, you're more like a partner. Sal thinks about this for a moment. SAL What's the fuckin' difference? FRANKIE Well an associate is a person united with another in an act, enterprise, or business, but is granted only partial status or privileges. See you're more like a partner because you have full status. In other words we're equals in the relationship and thus it's more of a partnership than an association. (MORE)

69.

FRANKIE(cont'd) But you're also a friend as well, but a better friend than my associate. SAL You’re kidding me right? FRANKIE Nope. Sal shakes his head at the dearth of information he has just received. SAL Huh. Well whoever this guy is I hope he has some power tools. INT. APARTMENT - LATER The apartment is empty, the door open. A man with a tool box appears, pauses by the open doorway and knocks. This is the Locksmith. He steps inside and looks around. LOCKSMITH Hello? The Locksmith walks to the center of the room and peers down the hole. LOCKSMITH Anyone down there? EXT. BROOKLYN CASKET COMPANY - NIGHT Frankie and Sal pull up to a gate. The large iron gate opens to reveal a man - this is Paulie. Frankie and Sal pull the car forward and the man slides the gate closed. INT. BROOKLYN CASKET COMPANY - NIGHT Frankie and Sal get out of the car. PAULIE What’s up fellas? FRANKIE We need help. PAULIE Okay. Whatcha got?

70.

Frankie goes around to the back of the car followed by Sal and Paulie. Frankie pops open the trunk to reveal Dave. PAULIE What’s that? SAL Some guy. PAULIE Yeah, I can see that. What’s he doing in your trunk? FRANKIE Our latest job. PAULIE Who is he? FRANKIE Don’t know. We were just told to get the briefcase. PAULIE Oh yeah? What’s in it? FRANKIE Don’t know. Must be something valuable. We’re gettin’ paid good. Paulie looks between the two. PAULIE Let me get this straight. You’ve kidnapped some guy you don’t know, who is carrying a briefcase contents unknown. Is that pretty much the sum total of the situation? SAL Pretty much. PAULIE I see. So what are you doing here? FRANKIE We need your help. PAULIE You know I don’t do that kind of thing anymore. I’m clean.

71.

FRANKIE Not that. We need you to help us open that thing. PAULIE Oh. Okay. Follow me. Sal and Frankie pick Dave up out of the trunk. INT. BROOKLYN CASKET COMPANY - LATER Dave is no longer tied to the chair but is now tied to a metal table. Sal, Frankie and Paulie stand around the table. PAULIE Lay it on the table. Dave plunks the briefcase on the table. Paulie examines it. PAULIE Hmm. FRANKIE What? PAULIE Where’d you say you this thing comes from? FRANKIE Don’t know. Our instructions were just to pick it up and wait for a call. Why? PAULIE I see. One of those need to know jobs. No reason except that this thing has no latches. SAL So? PAULIE So I’m not quite sure how this thing is supposed to open. FRANKIE Can’t we just break it open? PAULIE We can try. Might damage the contents.

72.

DAVE Mmmm, mmmm. PAULIE Good idea let’s go for the cuffs. At least that way you can get rid of the body. DAVE Mmmmm! PAULIE Sorry. If they decide to go that route I mean. Paulie grabs a hammer and chisel, holds the chisel to the chain of the cuffs and gives it a good WHACK! Nothing. He does it harder and harder until the chisel snaps. PAULIE Interesting. SAL That normal? PAULIE No. Paulie reaches down and grabs a bandsaw. He puts on a pair of plastic glasses then hands glasses to Frankie and Sal. PAULIE Better put these on. Before they can respond he turns on the bandsaw. PAULIE This should do the trick. He presses the blade down on the metal chain and sparks fly. He does this for a moment, then takes the saw away to inspect the chain - nothing. PAULIE Weird. SAL That normal? PAULIE No.

73.

He tries again, this time leaning into it until it makes a loud grinding sound - sparks everywhere. After a few seconds he stops, looks down. Still not a scratch. PAULIE What’d you say this was made of? FRANKIE I didn’t. Paulie kills the bandsaw and looks at the blade. The teeth are bent. FRANKIE Interesting. I assume that’s not supposed to happen either. PAULIE No. SAL What else you got? PAULIE Well... He bends down and grabs a blowtorch, holds it up. PAULIE If this doesn’t work, you’re gonna be shit out of luck. He puts on a welding helmet. PAULIE Better stand back. Frankie and Sal back up. Paulie fires up the torch and points it at the chain. It lets up a hot red glow but it is apparent that it is not cutting through the chain. PAULIE Motherfucker. SAL How hot is that thing? PAULIE Hot enough to melt through most metal.

74.

SAL I guess that means this isn’t like most metal. PAULIE Guess not. He holds it there for a few more moments, then turns it off, and pushes his visor back. All of them including Dave lean in to inspect the chain. DAVE Mmmmm. PAULIE No shit. Well boys, anyone else got any bright ideas? SAL Well...you could always cut him off at the hand. DAVE Mmmmm! PAULIE Easy, no ones cutting off any body parts. Kidnapping is bad enough. I might have something back at the house. But I need a ride. SAL What do we do with him? FRANKIE We could bring him with us. PAULIE I got a better idea. INT. BROOKLYN CASKET COMPANY -

LATER

Dave lies prone in a large black casket. The interior is trimmed with velvet. PAULIE One of our higher end models. Even has breathing holes. SAL Breathing holes?

75.

PAULIE Yeah, some people don’t like the thought of their close ones being suffocated. SAL But they’re dead. PAULIE Don’t ask me. (to Dave) You okay buddy? DAVE Mmmm. PAULIE Don’t go anywhere now. We’ll be back. He shuts the coffin, locking it - leaving Dave in the dark. INT. COFFIN - LATER Pitch black. Very silent. Then all of a sudden a set of footsteps. The casket moves. MAN 1 Careful. This one was custom ordered. MAN 2 Jesus, how come this is so heavy? MAN 1 Must be all the oak and all the trim. Hey give us a hand over here! More footsteps. EXT. BROOKLYN CASKET COMPANY Four large men lift the casket into the back of a truck. MAN 2 If I didn’t know better I’d have thought there was a body in there. MAN 1 Wouldn’t they be surprised.

76.

They close the back of the truck. MAN 1 Okay, all set! The truck roars to life and pulls away. INT. BROOKLYN CASKET COMPANY - LATER Sal, Paulie and Frankie stand around the pedestal that held the casket that contained Dave. But the casket is no longer there. SAL You sure this is where we left it? PAULIE Yeah, this is it. Hey Ritchie! One of the men from earlier enters. MAN 1 What’s up Paulie? PAULIE Where’s the black casket? MAN 1 Oh, we delivered it. PAULIE I thought it wasn’t due until the afternoon. MAN 1 They wanted extra time to dress it up and prep. I guess they bumped up the funeral. PAULIE I guess. When did it get delivered? MAN 1 ‘Bout an hour ago. Everything okay boss? PAULIE Sure. The man turns and exits.

77.

PAULIE This is not good. This is definitely not good. SAL We’ll just go get it back right? PAULIE How am I gonna explain this one? INT. SCOTTO FUNERAL HOME. CARROLL GARDENS BROOKLYN - MORNING The casket rests on a pair of wooden supports. A man enters carrying a vase of flowers. Just then, a slight noise from the casket. The man turns. Another noise and the casket shakes slightly. The man backs up. This time the casket rocks and falls to the floor. The lid falls open and out spills Dave, who has managed to untie himself. The man drops the vase, but can’t move. Dave gets up, removes the gag and brushes himself off. DAVE You picked a real winner there. Dave exits leaving the man in shock. INT. SHERATON TOWERS 54TH STREET - DAY In walks Dave, disheveled, dusty and beat up. A hotel doorman approaches him, blocking his entrance. HOTEL DOORMAN Can I help you? DAVE Yes, I am supposed to be a guest. The Hotel Guard gives him the once over. HOTEL DOORMAN Rough night? DAVE Something like that. The Hotel Guard gives Dave a perplexed look as Dave walks over to the front desk to check in. DESK CLERK May I help you?

78.

DAVE Johnson. DESK CLERK ‘Scuse me sir? DAVE My name. DESK CLERK Oh. She types in his name. DESK CLERK You were supposed to check in yesterday. DAVE No kidding. DESK CLERK You’re lucky, looks like your room is still available. DAVE Lucky me. DESK CLERK You alone? DAVE Yes, my girlfriend left me. So yes, I’m alone...thanks for reminding me. DESK CLERK Terribly sorry. DAVE I bet you are. There is an awkward silence. DESK CLERK (trying to be chipper) Okay, well...Luggage? She leans over the desk to see if he has anything with him. Dave plops the briefcase on the desk with a THUD. DAVE Just this.

79.

DESK CLERK Oh...Here’s your key then. Room 425. Enjoy your stay. DAVE I’ll try. He walks off - she sticks her tongue at out him just as the manager looks over. She quickly puts her tongue back in her mouth. INT. ROOM 425 - MORNING Dave enters the bathroom, turns on the faucet, rests the briefcase on the toilet seat and proceeds to splash water on his face. He looks in the mirror, sticks out his tongue. Then he turns on the shower. INT. ROOM 425 - LATER On the closed bathroom door. From within we hear a CRASH, a “shit!” And then the door opens to reveal Dave half wrapped in a towel, the briefcase dripping water. As he exits the briefcase hits the doorjam, swings around and smacks him in the knee. DAVE OW! He goes to the couch and sits down, plops the briefcase on the glass table. But he sets it down a little too hard and it goes through - shattering the table. DAVE Great. He yanks it out hard and it swings up and around, crashing into the lamp next to him, sending it to the floor. Dave gets up and tries to pry the handcuffs off. Then he bangs the suitcase on the floor. At first gently and then harder and harder. Of course that doesn’t work so he swings the suitcase up and smashes it against the wall. He does this repeatedly and more violently.

80.

EXT. HOTEL HALLWAY - MORNING A maid is walking by and hears the noise. She pauses at the door and listens. We hear all kinds of loud banging and crashing. She knocks on the door. MAID Hello? She pauses to listen for an answer and then bangs harder. MAID Hello! There is a pause. Then footsteps and the door opens revealing Dave, half naked. DAVE What? MAID Oh, I’m...sorry, but... Before she can finish, Dave takes the “do not disturb” sign and hangs it on the outside doorknob. She looks down at this, then back at him. DAVE This is not a good time. You come back later. He slams the door in her face. INT. ROOM 425 - LATER Dave sits on the couch, haggard looking, holding his head in his hands. The room is a complete wreck - almost everything seems to be broken. The phone rings, Dave picks it up. DAVE Yes? Yes. No, everything is okay. Noise? What noise? No, must be next door. Thanks, I’ll let you know. Okay, okay. He hangs up. A beat and then a knock at the door. DAVE Who is it?

81.

A beat and then a knock again. Dave gets up and goes to the door. DAVE Go away! He whips open the door... DAVE No disturbe... To reveal Claire. CLAIRE I can come back if you want me to. Dave peeks out and looks up and down the hallway. CLAIRE I’m alone. But instead of letting her in he stands there, blocking her way. CLAIRE So. DAVE So. CLAIRE You could let me in, unless you want to stand in the hallway... DAVE Oh, sorry. Come in. CLAIRE That’s a nice look for you by the way. She enters and he closes the door behind them. She pauses to survey the wreckage. CLAIRE You had a party and didn’t invite me? DAVE Not really.

82.

CLAIRE (motioning to the couch) You mind? DAVE Be my guest. She sits, sweeping random mess off the couch onto the floor. He takes a seat on the chair across from her. They sit there staring at each other. CLAIRE Don’t want to sit next to me? He shakes his head. CLAIRE Don’t trust me? He shakes his head again. CLAIRE Guess I can’t blame you. You okay? DAVE Fine. Another awkward pause. CLAIRE So. DAVE So. Another awkward silence. CLAIRE I can explain. He nods. She moves closer to him. CLAIRE Don’t be upset. I meant everything I said. DAVE Right. She slides closer until she is almost on top of him. CLAIRE Don’t you like me?

83.

He shrugs. CLAIRE How can I make it up to you. She climbs onto his lap. He tries to ignore her. CLAIRE There, see, isn’t that better? He stares straight ahead not moving. CLAIRE How about this... She kisses him. CLAIRE Does that make it feel better? DAVE Maybe. She kisses him again. CLAIRE You feel tense. You need to relax. She gets up and grabs hold of his hand. DAVE What are you doing? CLAIRE Come on. She pulls him (and the briefcase) off the couch and leads him into the bedroom. INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT Alternating between extreme fast and slow motion we see them move around the room trying to remove each others clothes as they fondle each other. As they move the briefcase is constantly getting in the way, banging into and knocking things over. Finally they make it to the bed and as they do, we are so close that all we see are pieces of their faces - eyes, cheeks, chins...

84.

One light is still on - Dave swings the briefcase around, and knocks it over, smashing the bulb. CUT TO BLACK: CLAIRE (V.O.) Oh Dave. DAVE (V.O.) You’re a bad girl. CLAIRE (V.O.) Oh yes, I’m a bad girl. DAVE (V.O.) Do you need to be punished? CLAIRE (V.O.) Oh, yes, I need to be punished. Oh god, yes, oh, PUNISH ME! The sound fades out. INT. BEDROOM - LATER The two of them are lying in bed, asleep, peaceful. INT. HOTEL HALLWAY - NIGHT A pair of shoes shuffle down the hallway, the soles making a hushed scuffle sound on the carpet. The shoes stop outside a door. Then we see a hand reach out and knock. INT. BEDROOM Claire and Dave asleep. We hear a faint knocking, a pause and then the knocking grows louder and more impatient until finally Claire wakes up. But Dave is dead asleep. Claire rises and goes out through the living room to the door. CLAIRE (whispering) Who is it? There is a long silence, then VOICE Who are you?

85.

CLAIRE What do you mean who am I? I asked you first. VOICE You’re not Dave. CLAIRE No shit. VOICE Is Dave there? CLAIRE Maybe. Who is this? VOICE A friend. Who is this? CLAIRE Two can play at this game. I’m a friend too. VOICE Really. I didn’t know he had a girlfriend. CLAIRE I’m not his girlfriend. Another moment of silence. CLAIRE You still there? VOICE Yes. You gonna let me in? CLAIRE I usually don’t open the door for strangers. VOICE Maybe if you get Dave then we can resolve this issue. CLAIRE He’s asleep. VOICE Then wake him up.

86.

CLAIRE He’s had a long day. VOICE This is great. You won’t trust me enough to open the door but you won’t wake up him up either. CLAIRE I guess this means we are at an impasse. VOICE Apparently. CLAIRE Can you come back later? VOICE I just flew in from Los Angeles. I need to talk to him now. It’s important. CLAIRE If you have a message for him, why don’t you tell me and I’ll give him the message. VOICE It’s private. CLAIRE Then we are definitely at an impasse. Then from behind Claire comes Dave, wrapped in a towel. DAVE Who is it? CLAIRE Some guy who says he has a message for you. VOICE Is that Dave? DAVE Yeah. VOICE It’s Harris.

87.

A pause as Dave, half asleep tries to recall who the hell “Harris” is. HARRIS The guy who drove you to the airport. DAVE Oh. Right. HARRIS How about letting me in? DAVE What do you want? HARRIS Let’s not do this again. Open the damn door. CLAIRE Your friend is pushy. DAVE He’s not really my friend. HARRIS Fine. Associate. Colleague, whatever, just let me in. CLAIRE Should we? DAVE Why not. He did give me a ride to the airport. CLAIRE No funny business. I’m a lethal weapon. HARRIS Good for you. Claire unlatches the door and opens it to reveal Harris, drenched. CLAIRE Oh, is it raining? HARRIS Apparently. May I?

88.

CLAIRE After you. Harris pauses and gives her the once over. CLAIRE Would you like me to turn in circles for you? HARRIS No, that’s okay...Don’t I recognize you? CLAIRE That’s possible. I could say the same thing. HARRIS You’re the girl from the airport. CLAIRE Woman from the airport. Yes. And I have a name too. HARRIS Mmmm. Another moment of silence as he stares at her. CLAIRE I wish you wouldn’t do that. It’s not very nice. HARRIS I just find it interesting that’s all. CLAIRE Yes, well life is interesting. HARRIS And full of coincidence as well. Harris turns to Dave. HARRIS Can I trouble you for a towel? Dave removes the towel from his waist and offers it to Harris - which renders Dave completely naked. Both Claire and Harris stare at him.

89.

DAVE What? HARRIS Nothing. Harris takes the towel and starts to dry himself. Claire nods to Dave’s naked midsection. Dave looks down. DAVE Oh. Harris, finished drying himself, hands the towel back to Dave. HARRIS You might want this. DAVE Thanks. Harris pushes past them into the living room and takes a seat on one of the chairs. CLAIRE Have a seat. She shuts the door and her and Dave take a seat on the couch. They all sit silently. Harris surveys the damage. HARRIS I like what you’ve done with the place...very post-modern. DAVE It’s been a long day. HARRIS I see you still have the package. DAVE Can’t seem to get rid of it. And believe me, many have tried. HARRIS Listen, I should tell you that I think there are other parties involved who might want to get their hands on whatever is in that thing. He looks at Claire.

90.

CLAIRE Is that an accusation? HARRIS No, just insinuation. I’m not ready to accuse you of anything...yet. CLAIRE That’s very kind of you. HARRIS Yes, I think so. CLAIRE However, I think the news is a little late. HARRIS (looking at Dave) What do you mean? DAVE Let’s see...since I got off the plane, I’ve been kidnapped, tied to a chair, assaulted by Samoans, thrown out of a window, put in a trunk and ended up in a casket. The casket was an especially nice touch...Let’s see, what else...Nope, I think that pretty much sums up my day. How was yours? HARRIS Comparatively, not so bad. DAVE Of course on the upside, if you were to take the glass half full view of things, I’m not dead. So I suppose that’s a bonus. There is another pause as they all exchange glances, eyeing each other. DAVE By the way, what are you doing here? Harris reaches into his coat, extracts a glock and holds it up. DAVE What’s that?

91.

CLAIRE It’s a gun. HARRIS Bingo. DAVE What’s it for? CLAIRE You shoot people with it. HARRIS She’s a fast study. CLAIRE I like how he talks about me in the third person. DAVE Well this is just great. You flew all this way to shoot me? CLAIRE Maybe this is my cue to leave, let you two boys work out your issues. HARRIS You’re not going anywhere. And I’m not here to shoot you. DAVE Oh, that’s good news. Although I could have used you earlier. HARRIS Better late than never. I would love to continue with the witty banter, but you have a job to do. (to Claire) How about some drinks? CLAIRE I’m sorry? HARRIS Something to drink. CLAIRE Wait, let me get this straight, are you telling the little woman to shuffle off and get the men some drinks like a good little girl?

92.

HARRIS This is not some men trying to oppress women thing. I need to talk to my friend here, I’m thirsty, you’re the odd person out and on top of it all I am the one with the gun. CLAIRE I thought you said you weren’t going to shoot us. HARRIS Yes, that is what I said. Definitely applies to Dave here. You I’m not so sure about. You want to give me an excuse? CLAIRE No, not really. At least you can say please. HARRIS Pretty please. CLAIRE Alrighty then. HARRIS Take your time. CLAIRE Yeah, yeah. (to Dave) He’s charming. I hope you bring him over more often. Dave mouths sorry. And with that she gets up and goes over to the bar. Harris leans in to Dave, who does the same. They speak in whispers so that she can’t hear. HARRIS Who is she? DAVE Claire. HARRIS Yes, I know her name. I mean do you know who she is? DAVE In what way?

93.

HARRIS Okay, so you two have slept together, that’s pretty clear. DAVE We flew together and then she showed up and tried to rescue me when I got kidnapped. HARRIS Yes, tell me about that. And as Dave relates the following to Harris, we see a fast stop motion montage of what he is explaining. DAVE So we are on the same plane together. Then she suggests we share a taxi. But as we are waiting a big Samoan guy grabs me and shoves me into a limo. Then these two Samoan guys and some other guy take me to some place, tie me to a chair. A fight ensues and I fall out of a window. Then some other guys take me some place where they use various tools to try and crack this thing. Then they put me in a coffin, where I end up in a funeral home. I end up back here and she shows up and well We cut to a shot of them having sex and hear “PUNISH ME!”. DAVE ...and now here we are. HARRIS Interesting. Didn’t really need to know that last part. So let me summarize. You get on a plane, and meet some girl... CLAIRE I am not a girl...Not that I’m listening. Harris turns, gives her a dirty look, then turns back to Dave.

94.

HARRIS Fine...woman. Who has the uncanny ability to track you down under the strangest of circumstances, not once but twice. Harris leans back. HARRIS Huh. DAVE What? HARRIS You don’t find that odd? Dave thinks for a moment. DAVE (shrugs) I guess. HARRIS You guess. Harris turns to Claire. HARRIS What about you? CLAIRE What about me? HARRIS You find it odd? CLAIRE Don’t bring me into it. I’m just a third party observer. HARRIS Somehow I doubt that. (to Dave) Aren’t you in the least bit curious? Dave thinks for a moment, then realizes that maybe he is. DAVE (to Claire) Yeah...who are you anyway?

95.

Claire sighs. CLAIRE (to Harris) It was so much less complicated before you showed up. HARRIS My deepest apologies. She throws back one of the drinks, hands Harris the empty glass. Harris takes the glass and holds it up. CLAIRE Party crasher. Claire sits down next to Dave, polishes off his drink and sets down the empty glass. CLAIRE Here goes nothing. HARRIS So much for the drinks. DAVE What’s going on? HARRIS I think we’re about to find out. I believe this is what they call the reveal. CLAIRE Something like that. Harris cocks the gun. HARRIS Don’t forget, you’re under oath. CLAIRE (considering the gun) I’ll remember that...Where to start... HARRIS How about who you are and who you work for. CLAIRE You could say I work for an interested party.

96.

HARRIS Could you be a little more forthcoming? Just as Claire starts to speak, there is a knock at the door. They all turn to look in the direction of the door. HARRIS Expecting someone? DAVE I wasn’t expecting anyone. So, no. Harris looks to Claire. CLAIRE I work alone. HARRIS (to Claire) Okay, let’s answer the door shall we? CLAIRE Why me? HARRIS I need a buffer. CLAIRE Buffer against what? HARRIS In case of hostile forces. CLAIRE I see. I go first, that kind of thing. HARRIS That and you sound much more charming. CLAIRE I’ll take that as a compliment. Harris signals her to move. CLAIRE I’m going. They move to the door.

97.

CLAIRE (singsong) Who is it? VOICE Is Dave there? CLAIRE (under her breath) Here we go again...Who are you? VOICE A friend. CLAIRE Does this friend have a name? VOICE Yeah, George. Is he there or what? HARRIS George? A pause and then... GEORGE Harris? CLAIRE (to Harris) Long lost love? HARRIS Shut up. Harris opens the door to reveal George. HARRIS What are you doing here? GEORGE I should ask you the same thing. HARRIS He never called me when he landed so I got worried. GEORGE That makes two of us. May I? George waves at Dave on the couch. Dave waves back.

98.

DAVE George! CLAIRE I seem to be the odd one out again. Should I be worried? GEORGE It depends. Who the fuck are you? CLAIRE Claire...pleased to... GEORGE Right, great. He brushes past her into the room and surveys the damage. CLAIRE Nice to meet you too. Did you two go to the same charm school for boys? GEORGE (to Dave) I like what you’ve done with the place...very post-modern. CLAIRE (to Harris) You all talk the same too? HARRIS (pointing the gun at her) Sit down and shut up. CLAIRE Fine. George goes to sit next to Dave. Claire slumps on the couch and crosses her arms. GEORGE What happened? DAVE Hard day at the office. What are you doing here? GEORGE I was...concerned. But I see you’re okay, and you still have the briefcase. Can I see it?

99.

Dave holds it up. George takes it and sets it on his lap, turning it over. GEORGE What’s in it? Dave shrugs. George looks up at Harris. HARRIS They never told us. DAVE And we didn’t ask. (winking at Harris) You know being discrete and all. HARRIS Oh brother. George ignores their exchange and keeps looking for a way to open the briefcase. GEORGE Hmm, must be valuable whatever it is...How do you open this thing? DAVE No one seems to know that either. GEORGE Have you tried? DAVE Believe me ALOT of people have tried - hammers, somoans, fire...nothing seems to work...it’s unbreakable. HARRIS You mean inaccessible. GEORGE What? HARRIS Inaccessible. George shoots him a wary “here we go again” look. HARRIS Well, given the situation, it does seem like the more appropriate word choice. (MORE)

100.

HARRIS(cont'd) You see unbreakable would seem to denote that despite yours and others best efforts, no one seems able to damage or “break” the briefcase. However, considering that the issue at hand seems to have more to do with the opening of the briefcase, rather than the damaging of it - what you really mean to denote is that you are unable to access the contents inside. Hence the more appropriate term inaccessible to describe the dilemma at hand. They all look at him like he’s lost his mind. CLAIRE And to think I thought you were just a gun toting thug. HARRIS I’m full of surprises sweetheart. CLAIRE Perhaps, but still very low on charm. DAVE (to George) Inaccessible. GEORGE Yeah, I think we got it. George then examines the ‘cuffs. GEORGE What about these? DAVE No one has the keys for those either. They seem to be made of the same material... (looking at Harris) ...unbreakable. They all look at Harris. HARRIS I’ll accept that.

101.

GEORGE (to himself) No wonder. HARRIS No wonder what? GEORGE Hmm? Nothing. So, what next? DAVE Like you said, I guess I wait for them to call for the drop. GEORGE Okay, good. There is a pause as Harris stares hard at George. GEORGE What? HARRIS Tell me again how you came to be here? GEORGE I just thought that Dave might have run into trouble and need my help. HARRIS Really. And why would you think that? GEORGE I don’t know, you know...a hunch. HARRIS A hunch. GEORGE Yeah, you know. George starts to reach into his coat. Harris pulls his gun out, pointing it at George. HARRIS I wouldn’t do that. DAVE What are you doing?

102.

HARRIS I have my own hunch. (to George) Slowly...lay it on the table. George extracts a gun from his coat... HARRIS That’s right, easy now, wouldn’t want to make any sudden movements. ...and lays the gun on the table. GEORGE What gives? HARRIS I just feel more comfortable with only one of us having a gun. GEORGE I’m on your side. HARRIS Are you? DAVE What’s going on? HARRIS I think our boss here may have other plans. Isn’t that right? George doesn’t say anything. HARRIS Who’s paying you? GEORGE I don’t know what you mean. HARRIS I think you do. No matter, we’ll sort this all out soon enough. Just then there is another knock at the door. They all turn toward the door. CLAIRE Not again.

103.

HARRIS (to George) Expecting anyone? GEORGE No. HARRIS (to Dave) Don’t suppose... DAVE Definitely not. Harris scoops up George’s gun and looks at Dave. HARRIS Can I trust you? DAVE With what? Harris hands puts the gun in Dave’s hand and points it at George. HARRIS We understand each other? DAVE (looking at George) I think so. Harris then raises his gun at Claire. CLAIRE Yeah, yeah...I know. HARRIS (to George) Don’t get clever. GEORGE I’ll be here. HARRIS (to Dave) Holler if he moves. Or better yet, just shoot him in the leg. DAVE Sounds good. Harris and Claire move to the door.

104.

CLAIRE (sounding bored) Friend or Foe? VOICE Depends on who you are. (to This is (to I asked

CLAIRE Harris) really fun. Voice) you first.

We hear mumbling. CLAIRE I can’t hear you, you’re going to have to speak louder. HARRIS (whispering to Claire) What’s going on out there? CLAIRE (to Harris) Communication issues. All of a sudden there is a loud CRACK and the door IMPLODES inward. Claire jumps into the closet and Harris jumps back out of the way as Tiny falls into the room on top of the door. NOTE: During the following action, Dave sits on the couch frozen as bullets whiz all around him, hitting everything around him, but he never gets shot once. Before Harris can react, Mr. G steps into the room, gun drawn. George snatches the gun from Dave’s hand and then moves to take cover as Mr. G points the gun at Harris. Harris dives into the bathroom, but Mr. G manages to shoot him in the leg. Harris cries out in pain. Mr. G turns to George, who has taken cover behind the couch. Just then Claire comes out of the closet. Mr. G turns to shoot, but she is faster - grabbing Mr. G’s gun hand, twisting his wrist, spinning him and flipping him on top of Tiny. She twists his wrist to disarm him but she hears a noise, and looks up just as Phil’s fist slams into her, knocking her out. George and Harris meanwhile both come out and start firing. Harris ducks back into the bathroom as George’s bullets whiz by him. Mr. G ducks.

105.

George, screaming, fires at Phil until his gun is empty. He hits everything except for Phil. Phil looks down to check himself, then looks up. PHIL Missed. HARRIS (from the bathroom) You missed? GEORGE I’m a little rusty is all. Think you can do better? Harris comes out, fires at Phil and hits him in the leg. Phil collapses to one knee. PHIL You shot me. HARRIS No kidding. That’s the point. GEORGE Nice shot. But you shot him in the leg. Shoot him in the head! HARRIS I’m not trying to kill him. GEORGE Why not, he’s trying to kill you! HARRIS He’s unarmed. I don’t kill unarmed people. GEORGE Now is not the time for ethics. PHIL That stings. Mr. G fires at Harris, but Harris ducks back into the bathroom. Mr. G then fires and hits George in the shoulder. George crumples behind the couch. GEORGE (yelling dramatically) Oh, I’ve been shot.

106.

HARRIS You’re supposed to duck. GEORGE Oh, I’m dying. I’M DYING! Oh God! I’m cold...so cold. Mr. G, gun in hand, moves behind Phil. PHIL What are you doing? MR. G Using you as a shield. HARRIS Where are you shot? GEORGE It’s my shoulder! Oh lord, I’m gonna die! I don’t wanna die. HARRIS Your shoulder? Oh shut up you little baby! It’s probably not even fatal. Tiny looks up at Phil. TINY You okay? Phil looks down at the stain on his leg. PHIL It hurts. Harris rolls out to look quickly, points his gun to shoot and sees Mr. G hiding behind Phil. HARRIS That’s not very sportsman like. Mr. G shoots, but Harris rolls back into the bathroom. MR. G Life’s not fair. GEORGE Shoot him! HARRIS He’s unarmed!

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MR. G Looks like we have a stalemate. HARRIS Looks like it. MR. G Why don’t you come out and we’ll talk like civilized people. HARRIS No can do. MR. G Well, we could stay here, but I’m sure the cops will be here soon. GEORGE Shoot him for God’s sake! Harris doesn’t respond for a few moments, and then... HARRIS Goddamnit...I’m sorry. MR. G Sorry for what? HARRIS For shooting the horse. Just then he rolls out, points the gun at Phil. But Phil has other plans and falls away, leaving Mr. G exposed. MR. G What... Harris shoots Mr. G and hits him in the shoulder, sending him back and out the door. GEORGE Did you shoot him? HARRIS Yeah, I shot him. GEORGE Good, is he dead? MR. G (from the hall) You shot me in the shoulder.

108.

GEORGE You shot him in the shoulder? Unbelievable. Harris hobbles out of the bathroom, gun aimed at Phil and Tiny. HARRIS Don’t move. Tiny and Phil look at each other, then at Harris. TINY Say, is that a .357? HARRIS Yeah...why? TINY If I recall that gun has six shots. Tiny takes a step toward Harris and Harris takes a step back. HARRIS (getting nervous) Yeah, so? Tiny takes one more step forward and Harris responds with a step back. TINY If I counted correctly, you’re out of bullets. HARRIS Maybe. Maybe not. You sure you counted right? Tiny takes a step forward and Harris takes another step back. GEORGE Shoot him! TINY He doesn’t have any bullets left. HARRIS Wanna bet? TINY Then why do you keep moving back? Tiny takes another step forward.

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HARRIS Maybe I don’t want to shoot you. TINY Or maybe you’re out of bullets. You should really consider getting a different gun, you know, like one that can hold more bullets. GEORGE Will you just shoot him already? TINY Yeah... Tiny takes another step forward. TINY ...Shoot me. HARRIS Okay, you asked for it. Harris pulls the trigger, but the only sound the gun makes is the click of an empty chamber. TINY Bingo. HARRIS Damn. TINY The tables have turned. HARRIS Perhaps. Harris puts up his fist and assumes a boxing position, all his weight on his good leg. TINY You think you have a chance? HARRIS There’s only one way to find out. Tiny moves forward. Harris hops back. GEORGE Want help?

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HARRIS That would be nice. George moves to Harris. GEORGE Truce? HARRIS Strategic truce. GEORGE I’ll accept that. They stand side by side to face Tiny. Tiny grins. GEORGE What’s he smiling for? HARRIS Not sure. GEORGE There’s two of us. HARRIS Yes, but he’s not exactly a small person. Tiny bends down into a crouch position. GEORGE What’s he doing now? HARRIS Not sure. Then Tiny springs forward like a linebacker. GEORGE Oh. HARRIS Shit. And hits both of them full force, lifting them in a tackle and carrying them across the room... GEORGE This is going to hurt. HARRIS Yup.

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...And slams them into the wall. Tiny lets go and they collapse to the floor. Tiny stands there and looks down. TINY Touchdown. PHIL (O.S.) Look out! Then from behind him Tiny hears something and starts to turn, but it is too late. Dave brings the suitcase down on Tiny’s head, knocking him out cold. DAVE Bingo. Phil starts to get up and hobble toward Dave. Dave turns, his face in panic, but then the sound of a gun being cocked. Claire appears behind Phil, gun pointed at his head. CLAIRE Not so fast. Phil freezes. CLAIRE (to Dave) You okay? DAVE Sure. You? CLAIRE Yup. They stand there a moment staring at each other. Just then the phone rings. Dave picks it up. DAVE Hello? He listens. DAVE Uh huh. Uh huh. Okay. He hangs up, looks at Claire. CLAIRE Who was it?

112.

DAVE Time to make the delivery. CLAIRE (to Phil) I’m really sorry about this. PHIL About what? She clocks him on the back of the head with the butt of the gun, knocking him out cold. CLAIRE That...I think it’s time to get out of here before anyone else shows up. DAVE Good idea. She drops the gun into the room. DAVE You don’t think we’ll need that? CLAIRE We’ll be better off without it. DAVE What about them? CLAIRE They’re on their own. They both exit the room leaving it strewn with bodies and completely destroyed. EXT. HOTEL - DAY Dave and Claire come outside to stand at the curb. HOTEL DOORMAN Taxi? CLAIRE Please. The man steps to a waiting cab and holds the door open as the two get in.

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HOTEL DOORMAN Have a nice day. CLAIRE We’ll try. He closes the door and the cab pulls away. INT. TAXI - DAY Dave and Claire sit next to each other, an awkward silence between them. CLAIRE You alright? DAVE I guess. More awkward silence. DAVE How do I know I can trust you? I don’t even know who you really are. CLAIRE You can trust me. She turns toward him. CLAIRE Listen...I have a proposal for you. DAVE A proposal... CLAIRE Not that kind...I work for someone who is very interested in what’s in that thing. Dave turns to face her. DAVE You know what’s in it? CLAIRE Not exactly. But whatever it is must be important because my client is willing to pay a lot of money for it.

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There is a pause as Dave considers her. DAVE How much? CLAIRE Let’s just say you wouldn’t need to worry about money for a long while. He turns to look out the window. DAVE I don’t know. CLAIRE What’s not to know? DAVE Look, I’m not known for having very good luck. Everything I touch seems to get screwed up. CLAIRE I find that hard to believe. He turns to her. DAVE I lost my girlfriend, my house, my job...the only thing I haven’t lost yet is this thing. And probably only because it’s kinda hard to lose something that’s handcuffed to your arm. Anyway, this is my chance to do something right for a change. CLAIRE It’s a lot of money. DAVE I’m sure it is. But I think I want to finish this. Do something right for once. CLAIRE You sure? DAVE Yeah. Sorry. She considers him for a moment.

115.

DAVE What? CLAIRE Nothing. DAVE You mad? CLAIRE No. DAVE You’re not going to... CLAIRE No. She gives him a knowing smile. DAVE What? CLAIRE Oh, nothing...Looks like we’re here. INT. CORPORATE OFFICE BUILDING - DAY Dave and Claire stand in the middle of a huge lobby. DAVE This is the address. They approach the Guard Desk. GUARD May I help you? DAVE Yes, Dave to see... GUARD You’re expected. Take the elevator to the 35th floor. DAVE Thanks. Dave turns to Claire.

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DAVE Well, I guess this is it. CLAIRE Guess so. DAVE Well, take it easy. CLAIRE Yeah, you too. Maybe I’ll see you around. DAVE Sure. She turns and walks away. And as he watches her go. DAVE Should’ve gotten her number. Stupid...stupid. GUARD I’m sure you’ll see her again. DAVE With my luck? Probably not. GUARD You never know. And with that Dave walks off toward the elevators. INT. ELEVATOR - DAY Dave stands whistling as he watches the numbers climb. INT. OFFICE - DAY Dave enters a beautiful glass enclosed office. A receptionist sits behind a large credenza. The secretary rises and extends her hand as Dave approaches. SECRETARY You must be Dave...pleased to meet you. She shakes his hand.

117.

DAVE (awkward) Yeah...same. SECRETARY Go right into the conference room...They’re expecting you. Can I get you anything to drink? DAVE Water. SECRETARY I’ll bring it in. INT.CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY The room is huge with a large modern narrow wooden table. Around this are plush leather chairs and in front of each chair, embedded in the table is a screen and microphone. All along one end of the room are floor to ceiling windows which reveal a stunning view of the Manhattan skyline. Dave takes a seat, laying the briefcase gently on the table. After a moment the secretary sets the glass of water in front of him and exits. Then two men enter, dressed in casual but what look like expensive clothes. Dave looks up to see Bob and Wendell. But more surprisingly than that is Claire, who enters behind them. Dave’s mouth hangs open. CLAIRE Hello Dave. DAVE What... BOB I gather you two know each other. CLAIRE Somewhat. Dave just stares at Claire, mouth still agape. DAVE What... BOB I know you must be surprised.

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Dave looks between all three of them. DAVE You...you KNOW them? WENDELL She’s one of our most trusted employees and head of security. DAVE Security? BOB Yes. We’re sorry for all the secrecy, but you’ll see soon it was necessary. DAVE What’s going on? BOB (motioning to handcuffs) We’ll explain but let’s remove those first shall we? DAVE That would be nice. Wendell takes a strange looking key from his pocket and unlocks the handcuffs from Dave. Dave rubs his wrists. DAVE Thanks. BOB Would you like to see what’s inside? DAVE It would be nice to see what I went through all this for. Wendell reaches down and presses his thumbs down on dots on the bottom of the briefcase. There is a slight glow and then the briefcase pops open. Dave looks up at Wendell. BOB It’s an infrared fingerprint scanner. Dave peers inside the briefcase. We can’t see what’s in it, but the puzzled look on his face suggests he is not quite sure of the contents.

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DAVE What’s so special about it? BOB Nothing. Claire reaches in and extracts a gun. CLAIRE I could’ve used this earlier. She holsters it. DAVE I don’t get it. WENDELL When you went through airport security what happened? DAVE Nothing. Then it dawns on him. WENDELL That’s right. DAVE How is that possible? WENDELL It’s a new technology. It makes everything in the briefcase invisible and replaces it with whatever image we program into it. DAVE You mean I can put anything in here and it won’t be detected? BOB Yes. You could put a bomb in this but all they would see is an image of normal travel items. WENDELL Not only that, but it’s also makes it undetectable to bomb sniffing dogs.

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CLAIRE And I guess you saw, virtually indestructible. BOB Pretty neat huh? Dave looks between all three of them. DAVE That means that if... CLAIRE That’s right. If the wrong people got their hands on it, it would be very bad to say the least. That’s why we didn’t tell you. We didn’t want anyone to find out. DAVE So who’s going to use it? BOB Well, this was an experiment. I don’t think we are ready for this kind of technology, it’s too dangerous. DAVE This was just an exercise? BOB Well, we had to prove it worked. DAVE So what happens to it? WENDELL Nothing. We submit a report and then it’s up to our client to decide what they want to do. DAVE Who’s your client? Wendell and Bob pause to look at Dave. WENDELL Let’s just say it’s a part of the government that is interested in none of this getting out. Dave looks at them.

121.

DAVE Oh...oh, you’re not going to kill me now. I mean I did deliver this thing. Not to mention everything I went through to do it. They all laugh. DAVE What’s so funny? CLAIRE That’s not what they meant. DAVE Oh. BOB (to Claire) What do you think? She looks at Dave. CLAIRE I think he would make a great employee. DAVE A what? BOB How would you like a job? Dave pauses to take this in. BOB A simple yes or no would suffice. You are not obligated. You can walk out this door right now, free and clear. We would expect of course that you wouldn’t mention this to anyone. WENDELL We trust you. Dave looks at Claire. CLAIRE Personally I’d like you to stay. DAVE A job...Would I get shot at?

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BOB No, it’s nothing like that. I promise. Dave looks around. DAVE But how do you know I’ll do a good job? I mean I’m an actor. I don’t really know anything. WENDELL You’ll learn. Dave considers a few moments. DAVE Okay, sure. It’s not like I have anything else going for me. BOB Good. Welcome aboard. Wendell and Bob shake hands with Dave. WENDELL I think you’ll like it here. Dave turns to Claire, who hugs him. WENDELL Should she really be doing that now that he’s an employee? DAVE Don’t worry, I won’t file a suit. Besides, the feeling’s mutual. BOB Why don’t you two take the afternoon off. We’ll start fresh tomorrow morning. DAVE Thanks. Dave and Claire exit. EXT. NEW YORK STREET - DAY Dave and Claire stand outside.

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DAVE So. CLAIRE So. DAVE How would you like to have lunch? Get to know each other? CLAIRE You asking me out on date? DAVE Yeah, I guess I am. CLAIRE I that case I accept. And with that she wraps her arm around his and they walk off down the street into the city-scape. FADE TO: BLACK