Returns Of Investments

My memories of early child hood days are full of grief and pain. I felt that both these came to me uninvited. I was extremely sensitive to environment and picked up vibrations with ease. Being a psychic didn't help and in fact things and phenomenon often tormented me. I possessed a logical brain and this was more of a curse than a gift. I often could not answer to things and phenomenon that took place in my life. May be I did not have enough grey matter for that. I remember that I could easily pick up the blues of other people just by looking at them. There were times when I didn't even touch them and I could see what was happening with them. This feeling often got transferred to me. I needed answers and this thing turned me to learn ancient sciences. I meditated and did all those things mentioned in books. But all these methodologies intensified my experiences. Besides posing myself as a salient person I often wandered at strange places. During this phase I learnt and experienced things that later turned my life. My first such experience came from a strange "Mazaar" of a devout Sufi saint. This "Mazaar" is present in Jaipur. It is a very small place and people are not aware of it. One of my friends who is a psychic always told me to avoid the path that passed near from that "Mazaar". This aroused my curiosity and I often followed the same path. It attracted me and I wanted to see what was inside. Often it was closed and I did not have a chance for some time. And one fine day I was passing through it and I saw that the gates were open.

I was very depressed on that day and things were not turning up as I wished. I entered the place. It carried the burial tomb of the sufi saint ( I still do not know the name of my Messiah) . There was no body and I was not accustomed to "Mohammedan customs". So I set down in "Vajraasan" like position and bowed my head. I was shocked as I felt an immediate sensation that somebody was touching my head. I moved my head up, and there, I saw a cat looking at me. I stood up and clasped my hands in devotion to the tomb and felt that cat was licking my feet. I saw that there were two kittens along with her and they were doing the same thing. I could not explain what happened but I felt that every strand of my hairs was standing and I could feel a strange sensation in my spine. It took me another six minutes and then I came out. I did not even felt to explain this to myself. There was something happening that I could not explain. That night I had a very sound sleep.

I A

got up early in the live "Aarti" ceremony

morning and by chance of Shree Govind Dev

plugged up the ji was being

tv set. telecast.

It was the cold days of January and I could see that at least hundred such people were there for the ceremony. They must have been the daily visitors. It was easy to imagine that you could reach the place at 5 am in that bone chilling morning. But it was only easy to imagine.

The idol of Shree Hari was displayed on the screen. I could not understand what people liked in that idol (For the first time). Being an artist I can see that that the idol was not in the right symmetry. There was surely something that my eyes could not see..., something that those daily visitors can make out. So I visited the temple for the first time (This happened first time in six years of regular visits to different temples except this one). I first met my school time friend "Manas" who was now the " Mahant" of Shri Govind Dev Ji temple". I was allowed to sit near the idol, very near to the "Pat" (The doors near the idol). I could immediately feel the envious eyes of people standing near bars. At that moment I just hated myself. But this feeling was not stronger than the feeling of rational explanation of devotion. After the sounds of regular bells the curtains were removed. I still remembered picture in world is idol.

that as

live picture of beautiful as was

black idol; frankly, the first glance on

I was mesmerized for the time being. I could powers the idol possessed. There was no mind was lost in beauty and that moment dead.

no that

now see the magnetic rational explanation. My my rational brain was

I understood what those devotees must have felt in the morning. The idol was huge and much bigger than what I felt in through television. The eyes of the idols did carry a mesmerizing effect. I could feel the burning sensation at my cheeks. Being a man I moved my face to a different direction. The heavy feeling near my heart was pulled off. I took a "parikrama" and saw a portrait of " Shree Nitai Prabhu". The feeling of being "Feeling less" was getting stronger. As I was trying to explain myself I was almost dead somewhere. Something else engulfed my rationalism. When I came my head. My

out of eyes

the were

temple I constantly

could feel a cold sensation radiating some frozen hue

near like

thing.

I could see that my brain was fighting with my body but at the same time my body was out of its control. I went near cows and bought some fodder. I gave it to the cow and there she started licking my hand. Then lot of them started coming towards me. (In real life I was much afraid of cows as I was once attacked by the same). But at that moment there was absolute fearless ness. The cows surrounded me. It was a very happy moment which I cannot explain in words. From that day onwards I became a staunch devotee of Shree Hari. This feeling can only be felt. It is not something that I can put in words. You could see the love in small events of event is related to my daily Pooja to the lord. prayer I just felt that I should have photograph of Govind Dev Ji. This was a momentary discarded it.

your life. One such Once during one such possessed a bigger thing and I immediately

After the prayers a person came to consultation. During the initial know how he told me that he possessed a shop in the temple premises of Shree Govind Dev Ji temple. I asked him that did he sell the bigger photographs of Shree Govind Dev Ji.

To my surprise he came back within five minutes. He was carrying extremely large sized photographs of idols of Shree Hari. I asked for the price and despite of my repeated attempts to pay him, he left me a beautiful photograph and an idol of Shree ladoo Gopalji. Imagine what could have happened to me. Frankly I consider myself as a very bad person and when God turns up to you for that small wishes your eyes will definitely show some sort of irritation. It was clear that someone was watching.

Another incident happened much in the same way. I bought a two wheeler with my first job and it after four years of use it was showing signs of several problems. One such day I asked Shree Hari that whether I can buy a new scooter? However, this feeling was discarded as I was egoistical enough to ask it from my father. Logics arrived ASAP.

The

very

next

day

my

friend

called

me

to

her

house.

There,

her

mother told me that she wanted wonder what that gift can be. every accessory needed. I could persuasion from my family and my watching? Definitely the practical Again why me? I consider

to It not aunt of my

gift was

me with something. You can a new white scooter with accept it but after lot of I finally took it. Wasn't someone " Yogachshemam Vahamayam". self a dirty cruel brat.

The third incident which showed that he was there happened in a different way. I was once speeding back to my house. I was very hungry and wanted to reach home as soon as possible. Just then I had an immediate urge to first visit my friend who came all the way from Bombay. His house was on the way and I knew that it can hardly take five more minutes. I went to his house and was surprised to witness a ceremony. Some saint (Jain saint) was coming out of their house and everybody was bowing to him. I also did the same. My immediate wish was to leave the place as I did not want to disturb his family with my arrival. Moreover I was afraid of unknown people. Just when I was leaving, his mother saw me and called me in. Despite of my wish I entered their house. I met his grandfather and out of sheer respect I touched his feet. Then I decided to leave and was just doing so when his grandfather ordered me to sit down for few minutes. I told him that I have some urgent work at home. He immediately announced that I will not leave the house without being fed. His voice was heavy and he told the servants to close down the heavy gates. This was strange. How could he possibly know that I was hungry?

Somebody was watching. I was offered food in pure silver utensils. It was good vegetarian food cooked for the saints and other people. I could not eat all of it. The lump inside my throat held it back. I wonder what I have possibly given him? so that it came back with such intensity. A small place in a big dwelling of mine..., a half and hour prayer from twenty four long hour .What do we give God? Please help me. My rationalism is all dead.