Relief Would Have Been An Understatement. Negative. That Was A

Relief would have been an understatement. Negative. That was a cause for celebration because I thought I was having another child. I went downstairs to tell him the good news. He was happy and relieved and so was I. We jammed in his house to celebrate and he dropped me off to Jade's house. Her mum opened the door and was shocked to see me and vice versa. She was never home and this was the first time I had seen her. Jade had told her about the twins because she knew their names. I trekked to Jade's room and heard Movado on my way up. This girl was a loner! Straight up. She was the only person I knew that had her own shubz by herself and had a fantastic time and still had time to document this on msn. "It's a mudness" as Dwayne would say. I opened her door to see her grinding on Dwayne. My jaw dropped. I just stood there and watched them until he started taking off her clothes and I screamed. They suddenly realized I was in the room. Dwayne started laughing uncontrollably and Jade looked embarrassed. "You're lucky it was me and not your mum" I commented. "Ray how long were you standing there for?" Dwayne asked. "Long enough to know that I aint coming into any of your rooms, without knocking." Dwayne laughed a second time. Jade looked like she was going to strangle me. "Oi... are you coming Alton Towers with us?" Jade asked. "I forgot about that you know." "Yeah well it's a few days time." "Even if I wanted to... who's going to look after the twins?" "Ask your mumzy" Dwayne butted it. "Did I ask for your opinion you tramp." They both laughed. "So..." "Yes..." "Are you coming?" "I dunno...I'll let you know soon." We were about to buss convo until they noticed the twins. "Aww... he's smiling at me." "Jade...he's hungry...not smiling you tramp." "O I knew that" "So how are you gonna have my baby?" Dwayne asked. I choked on my spit and so did Jade. I looked at her. She smiled slyly. "Don't think I didn't catch that smile." I said out loud. Dwayne looked at her and licked his lips. "Don't think you can start fertilizing eggs while I'm here." They laughed but moved to kiss each other regardless. "You disgust me" I said in fake horror. "But have you seen you with De-Andre?" "No..." I laughed. "Jade stop I really don't wanna know." Dwayne commented. I laughed again. We jammed for a bit and I had to go home because it was nearly feeding time for the twins. Jade and Dwayne dropped me off home. No one was in as usual and I wanted to go out. I called my mum and she came to pick up the twins. They were sleeping so it was cool. I called Jade's phone. "Oi bitch what you doing tonight?" "Jammin at home." She replied. "Not any more we're going raving." She laughed. "Nah I'm serious." "Without or without the mans." "Without ..." "I like the way you think." I laughed. "Get ready then and come to my house." "Whatever you lazy fuck." I laughed then locked off. I went to have a quick shower and went through my wardrobe. I straightened my hair and gave my self a side fringe. Good so far. I thought. I decided to go retro. I wore my blue batty riders; yellow low cut top, red shoes and accessories. I looked hot if I say so myself. I wore my aqua and sprayed on that sexy smelling fantasy by Britney Spears and mixed it up with some Dior poison alongside Armani. That smelled peng but I started choking because it was a bit too much. I looked at the time 9:15. Someone knocked on my door. It was Jade. I ran downstairs and opened the door. My girl looked hot. "Wag1 sexy can man have your digits like..." she laughed and walked into my house. I continued being stupid. "Sexy cum'on...mans feeling you hardcore allow them ones." She laughed and so did I. She was wearing some black apple bottoms skinny jeans; 4inch Dior heels; red apple bottom top... she looked hot. Her breasts and bum were saying a lot. No homo. "Have you finished? And farkin hell Rayne you smell peng." "I know I know...a secret." "Wanna share?" "Nah not really but like since you're my Co-Dee..." She laughed and I shared my secret. "I smell peeennng." I laughed at her. "Wait wait... lets take a pic." We ended up taking several pictures. It was now 10o'clock. "We better go." I picked up my phone and the essentials and put it inside my Roca wear bag. I was going a bit too hard. I laughed at myself. We left my house and faced the weather. It was actually alright. "Jade are my legs dry?" "Yes..." "What!!!!!!" "I'm lying." She laughed. "O bout to say." We got on the bus and went upstairs. There were a few yungahs jamming and checking us out but we looked a bit too old so they were scared to holla. How cute I thought to myself. They started playing Giggs and me and Jade started skanking to it. Live! They looked surprised buh joined us. It was random but funny cah a peng one tried to dance with me. I laughed and pushed him away a bit. He clocked and backed off. I gave him my number doh. It was all bless. We got off the bus and queued for one club called Sound. Then I knew the security guard so we went in after about 5mins. It was hot. You could hardly breathe but I got used to the temperature after a while. Some funky house started playing and Jade was dancing with one Latino sexy looking Puerto Rican guy. She was getting it on. Having a man didn't mean he was the only one you danced with. As long as anything didn't happen I was all right. If Dwayne or De-Andre was to find out now...that would be different. But they weren't there so we were having fun. "Excuse me" I turned to see a beautiful boy. He wasn't black and he didn't look white. His eyes were a smokey gray colour. I had to ask. "Where are you from b?" He laughed. "I'm Italian and Egyptian." My mouth was wide open and he laughed some more. "You're a very pretty girl." He said. I started blushing. "Have you got man?" he asked. "Its complicated...but I have children." He surprise showed in his face and he didn't attempt to mask it. "Wow..." "I know but I weren't gonna have an abortion no way. I love them to bits." He smiled at me and I smiled back. "Would you like to dance with me?" "Since you asked so nicely..." I got up and took his hand. At first the music was fast so we were just skanking, then it got slower. He could dance. "I don't even know your name..." "Rayne." "Nice name I'm Geren." "Unique name." He chuckled in my ear. He was really sexy. I was contemplating doing a quick ting with him. As the music continued, he would push my body up against his so I could feel his piece. I would laugh and he would wink at him. I had completely forgotten about Jade. I couldn't see her in the crowd anyway. After about 6songs I decided I needed to sit down. I was

tired and sweaty and thirsty. I made my way back to the bar and Geren found another dance partner. I laughed at his cheek. Looking at his face made me laugh, all that concentration just to grind on someone. Someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around to see Jade smiling in my face. "Let's move to another club." "Ok." I quickly run to Geren and said goodbye to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He then told me to put my number in his phone. Which I did and walked off. "Who was that?" Jade asked. "Why are you so nosey?" "I dunno you know." We both laughed as we exited the club. We walked on and I heard a familiar voice shout. I turned around to see that yout I had been on the bus with. He started bussin convo with me and Jade. Then someone called my name. "Rayne!" it came from behind him. I looked to see Tamia smiling at me. "Tammy!" I went up to hug her. "I missed you." "I missed you too." "Wait you know her Tam?" he asked. "Yer...she's my birthday twin." "Rayne, how you know my brother?" "Wait , he's your twin Tam innih." She nodded and I laughed. "Jade, that's Magic." She started laughing as well. Tammy would tell us things about her twin Magic and how he played girls and stuff. Funny how I was seeing him now after all those years. We all swapped numbers and walked in our separate ways. Magic winked at me and I laughed. We said bye and walked off to find another club. Jade got a phone call. I walked along with her feeling bored and left out. She finished on the phone. "That was Dwayne." "What did he want?" "He said how there's one shubz and we should come because it's live." "Ermm where?" "It's like 10minutes away from here. But I lied to him and said we were gonna take long cah we was at home." I laughed. "Good thinking bubi." She grinned. We went into Burger King bought icecreams and jammed for 15minutes to waste time and make us seem legit. Jade called him back and got direction to the shubz. "I swear down If its not live I swear I'm gonna go get the twins and go home." She laughed but we both knew I was serious. As soon as we buss a corner we could see bare heads jamming outside. From the mans who were bunnin their weed to the sket who was wearing close to nothing. I looked around and didn't see any familiar faces. Jade and I decided it would be wise to call Dwayne to come outside instead of going in and getting lost. I could hear Movado loud and clear and Jade silently sang along and moved her body. I smiled in my head. A few seconds later Dwayne came out and I saw Jade's face change. She was so damn predictable and jealous. As soon as he opened his mouth to speak. "Since I weren't here, who were you dancing with?" "Your too fast fuckin hell, I was playing Pro upstairs with De-Andre and Priceless." My smile immediately disappeared. I started feeling weird. I had butterflies in my stomach. I knew that by the end of the night I would either have sex with one of them or both of them. I was totally lost when my brain came back to the conversation. I weren't really interested any more. Jade had some major jealousy problems she needed to sort out. Funny how she can dance with someone in a club, but switches when she thinks Dwayne has done the same. They deserved each other. He was a jealous motherfucker aswell. "Do they know we're here?" "Course not." "Skeen." We followed him into the house while getting bare stares from girls and boys. The heat hit me like a brick. It was really hot in there and for the first time people smelt nice. The atmosphere smelt nice. I couldn't detect any B.o. from the oxygen I was taking in. Wow...that was the first shubz I had been to and not smelt dirty hygiene. "Why are you guys playing games anyway?" "It's a tournament everyone's watching. They've betted nuff money. I lost about 4bills already." "Rahhh..." He laughed and led us up some stairs. I glanced back to see one chick practically fuckin the guy she was "sexing" with. As we got further up the stairs you could hear shouting and the volume of whatever they were playing turned to the absolute max. "What game?" "Fifa 09." I shut my mouth. I liked football but I really didn't see a point to playing it virtual. What the hell was all the hype? Wii all the way, at least the Wii is healthy. We walked into a surprisingly big bedroom. It was packed with bare man and we were the only girls. No-one even clocked us as we entered. Everyone was focused on the game. I saw De-Andre and Priceless and almost buss out laughing. The concentration they had on their faces was very funny and every few minutes someone would wipe their foreheads with a towel and give them drinks. Who the fuck did they think they were? Royalty? "How much are they playing for?" 5grand I think. My jaw dropped and Dwayne explained. To start with there were bare of us and we all pitched in and got beat by them two so their playing for the money." "How long have they been playing for?" "Half an hour." I screwed. I decided to pause the game the best way I knew how. I purposely shouted Jade aware they would both recognize my voice and look. They didn't. I felt pissed. We all waited for 15minutes and it was still nil nil. They paused the game so the mandem could go piss and grind on a girl and quickly come back. I pretended to look at a picture and from the corner of my eye I could see De-Andre standing up and stretching and Priceless mirroring his actions. They were both laughing at something funny. The room emptied out and Jade and Dwayne went along with it and Jade winked at me. That's when I knew they were going to have sex in the house. I continued to pretend to look at the picture and De-Andre turned in my direction and clocked me. He stood still and Price clocked me too. I tried my hardest not to let my grin come through my face. " Ray?" I turned and started acting. "O...Hi...I didn't see you guys, wag1." "You look nice." De-Andre said and winked at me and gave me then sexual grins. I bit my lip and looked at Price. "Hi." "Ye wag1..." He headed towards the door when I clocked something. "Priceless are you and De-Andre matching?" "Ye." They said happily. "Can you tell?" De-Andre asked me. "Yer you can...you're wearing opposite colours." "Yeee!" They said in unison. "Batty mans." I whispered quite loudly. "What?" "Nuffin." "Rayne what did you say?" "O I said these rats man." "What rats?" Priceless asked. "I was talking to myself." I lied. It was really hard not to laugh. They were acting so damn gay. Priceless bopped out. "Omdz was he wearing Ed Hardy socks?" De nodded and grinned and showed me his. They were both walking around in their socks. It was not me and De-Andre in a room alone. In my head I knew what would happen. I waited and played it out. I went to sit on the bed and he went towards the door. Funny, but somehow I knew he weren't going out. I heard the door lock and tried hard not to smile. He came back and gave me those sexy smiles. "It's hot in here." I commented. I got up and took off the light cardigan I

had been wearing. I turned around and pretended to look out of the window. I knew he would be looking at my bum and I wanted to give him a perfect view. I turned around. "So..." he stated. "Soo..." I casually stated back. We both knew what he wanted but he was playing dumb so I was helping him. "I like your shorts." I bit my lip again; it was really hard not to laugh. "Um thanks I like them too." "Come closer, I'm short sighted now I can't see you." We both knew he was chatting shit. I went closer to him. I invaded his space, I could hear him breathing. He put his hands on my hips and it went down hill from there. We started kissing and he took off my top and I took off his. I licked my lips. He had been working out extra cah he had that defined 8pack. I took a deep breath because he was so breath taking. He looked like he had been sculptured. He had diamond studs in his ear that had D each of them. They were shining! His eyes had turned black and he was turning me on. He had plaited his hair but had a shape up aswell. Every part of his anatomy was on point. I was kissing him like I needed it to breathe. "I love you." I whispered in his ear whilst he slipped his fingers into my undies. No reply. "Arr fuck this." He said. He took off the rest of his clothes and took off mine. "Erm...no babies no more babies." He clocked what I was on about and looked about for a bit and found what he was looking for. He adjusted the necessary tingz and we got to work. We were in the middle of what we were doing when someone knocked on the door. I then realized what we were doing and where we were doing it. "De get off me." I moaned. When he made to I stopped him. "Nah Nah continue." At this point I was too horny to care about getting caught. Eventually I think the knocking stopped. We mashed for about 20minutes. He was breathing hard and so was I. We both knew it was to be continued. I lay looking at the ceiling breathing hard. He started putting on his clothes in silence. Something was wrong. I quickly got dressed and he was stood up leaning against the wall staring at me. I couldn't take it anymore and I was getting pissed off. "What the fuck I s wrong?" I asked. "Nuttin, should there be something?" "Well, you're airing me and your silent so yer something is wrong." I was now sitting on the bed looking at him in anguish. He was so damn sexy and the only person who could piss me off by not talking. Argh! He still didn't say anything and all of a sudden I felt used. He was the only person in the world that could make me feel like a hoe. And at that present moment in time I did. I wanted to punch him, slap him. I wanted to kiss him. "De-Andre." I said while getting up. "What is wrong." I walked up to him and looked up at him trying to hold back my tears. I reached to touch him and he moved my hand away. I walked picked up my shit and wished I had the courage to pick up something and smack him hard across the face. I got my stuff and walked out of the room. He didn't even try to stop me. I was so angry with him. I decided to do what came best. I took out my phone and text him "It's over." I ran down the stairs in tears and tried to hold back as I walked out of the front door. I got a text. I didn't bother to look at it as I took a bus and went home. I got in my bed and hugged my covers tight. Second time he had broken my heart and I felt like shit. I reached into my bag and opened the text. My eyes zoomed in. O shit what the fuck had I done. The text read. "It never began." I started crying some more. I felt like a baby. I reached for my Kleenex. My phone started ringing; on private. I decided to pick up. "Hello?" I sniffed onto the phone. "Rayne," it was DeAndre. I was about to cut the phone when he dropped some lines. "What exactly did you do with Priceless?" he asked. O my days. I was in deep shit. "W-W-What you mean what did I do with Priceless." "I'm asking, what you did." Then my door bell rang. I locked off the phone. I didn't have to say bye to him, we weren't a ting no more. Right? I ran down my stairs while wiping the tears away from my face. I took a deep breathe gave a fake smile then opened the door. My smile turned into a fat screw. Wtf was he doing at my front door. "Can I come in? There's something you need to know." I let him in and I walked up to my room and he followed. I turned on the lights because it was a bit too dark. "De-Andre knows about us but he thinks we just lashed once," by accident". "Who told him?" "Mandy; she saw your pregnancy test and she somehow figured it out." "Bitch" He looked at me. "Well..." "Well, what Priceless? What exactly do you want me to do?" "Do you want me to go?" I looked at him. "Yes, No, I dunno." "If you were any other chick I would gladly walk out of here but your not. I'm being a snake in front of De-Andre and look how tite we're supposed to be. I'm lying to him everyday because of you." 'I didn't ask you to." "Rayne, now you're being selfish. But since you want to go on like that, peace and have a nice life." "I will. Don't forget to close the door behind you." I said not even bothering to look up at him because my eyes were filled with unshed tears. He walked out and a few seconds later my front door closed. Just like that. The two most important people had in my life had walked out on me. I felt like a dickhead. I went to bed. My doorbell rang and I run to get it. It was De-Andre and Priceless. I tried to shut the door but they barged in. They looked so angry. "Get out of my house!" I shouted. "Not until you give us what we want." "What do you want from me?" "Everything you've been giving each of us. But this time," "Together. "Priceless finished the sentence for him. I became very scared at that present moment in time. Priceless picked me up and put me on the sofa. "Who first?" De-Andre asked. "You get a say Rayne. Me or De-Andre? Who should go first?" It suddenly dawned on me that they were going to rape me. I screamed. I woke up sweating and scared. It had been a dream yet it seemed so real. I was breathing hard and was afraid to go back to bed so I switched on the tv. Nothing was on and I was scared. I looked at the time. Only 3o'clock. I looked outside and everywhere was dark. I didn't know who to go to. I was so scared. I looked around for my phone and discovered a lot of missed calls from Jade, Dwayne and private number." I somehow managed to sleep again.

I woke up with a banging headache. No-one was at home. The sunlight had escaped through my curtains and was blinding my eyes. I got up and remembered what happened the day before. I didn't want to cry but it was hard not to. I heard my phone vibrate. I reached to get it. It was a text. I opened it and immediately felt like punching him in his face. "I still want to see my children. I'm coming tomorrow." It was from De-Andre. His audacity. I didn't reply back but wanted to. I missed him already. The stubborn Rayne decided to pay him back. But I didn't know how exactly. I wanted to go out because I was getting too stressed at home. I went to have a shower and dressed myself up. It was quite hot so I wore my shorts and a see through top with a bikini bra underneath. I took my small D& G bag, sprayed myself and walked out of my house. I looked at my reflection in the car mirror. Wow. I knew in my heart that I was not looking myself. I decided to hit the hair dressers I needed a change. After about 20minutes I got there. It was about 11 in the morning so hardly anyone was there. I waited about 3minutes before it was my turn. "I like what your wearing." She commented. I smiled but inside I weren't happy at all. I felt like shit. "So what you want me to do?" "Dye it." "What colour? Permanent or not?" "Red and permanent." "All of it?" I nodded and she looked shocked. "Ok can we compromise?" I didn't respond but she continued. "I'll dye it, but not permanent so you don't regret it because your hair colour is a natural brown that really suits you." "Umm I s'ppose. Ok." She smiled and got to work. After about an hour she was done. "Wow, you look wow." I looked in the mirror. Wow. My hair was bright red like Eve's used to be. She had dyed the sides and the back and lightly dyed the middle. It looked really nice but I knew my mum and dad were going to switch but I didn't give two shits. I paid her and walked out. I felt like a whole new person. I smiled. Fuck them! I thought to myself. As I got to the bus stop I noticed a sexy looking dark skinned guy just jamming. He looked up and clocked me. I pretended not to see him. His mouth opened and he continued to stare and I pretended not to see. Coming closer, I noticed that he was really peng. No piercing just a nice shape up, dark eyes. My type. I walked opposite him and stopped in front of him and waited. "Excuse me Miss?" I turned around and smiled. "Yes?" After about 10minutes of convo I was now heading towards his yard. He kept feeling up my bum but I didn't mind. I was single. As soon as the door to his yard shut he was all on me. Kissing me and taking off my clothes. I didn't mind. I helped him. We ended up on his sofa all out on the sex. He had a condom in his back pocket which made me think of De-Andre, but I quickly stopped myself. He weren't even bad! After about half and hour I was lying there breathing bare hard on the sofa. He was just looking at me. "So Tanya, how about a rematch?" (Yes I lied about my name) "I can't. I have to pick up my lil sister from nursery." I lied. I quickly got dressed and gave him my number and walked out. This was just the beginning of my downhill struggle. I was on road walking pointlessly when a car went past and slowed down and finally parked. A decent looking bloke came out. Nah, he was a peng white boy. "Wag1 sexy" I smiled at him. Soon after, I was in his car sucking his dick. He was a decent size aswell. He buss in my mouth and I had no choice but to swallow. He smiled at me. "So, Janelle lets go to mans yard and get this thing underway." Yes another fake name. "I have to go home to look after my niece." Another lie. I gave him my number regardless. I jammed in his car for a bit and got myself fingered for a bit. "Bye." I watched as the car drove off. I decided to go home. I felt dirty to the core. I got into my house bathed b rush my teeth and got changed again. My mum hadn't called me so I assumed the twins were ok. I missed them I just didn't miss the crying at early hours of the morning. I got a text from a number I didn't recognize. "Shubz tonite are you reaching?" I called the number back. "Hello, who's this you just text my phone" "Darius, we met today." It was that dark skinned guy I has lashed. We talked for a bit and he got me horny. He was a straight up freak. I was now out of my yard heading towards his for "round two" When I got there we didn't have time so he quickly fingered me while I bashed him off. "You look fukin sexy damn!" I was wearing red ecko top and black Armani jeans with 5inch Jimmy Chow shoes. Bought for me by the mumzy! I had straightened the red hair and put on some dramatic red and black eye liner. I was looking over sexy! We got in his bredrin's car and they started bunnin. It smelt over nice but I didn't wanna be buzzin before we got there. His bredrin was a decent looking mixed race guy. He looked a bit young doh! Darius was 20 and I had told him I was 18 which was a big fat lie. We got the destination. It was a big house in those big estates and there was bare loudness coming from everywhere. Lollypop was playing and I sang along to it. Darius winked at me and I licked my lips. I knew what he was thinking. "After." I mouthed to him. We went inside with everyone looking at me. I looked hot and there was no denying it. I got stares from girls that were on some mad flexes. I didn't give two shits. I was doing me. I went straight for the alcohol and ended up tipsy. I was dancing with the air when I felt someone behind me. I didn't bother to look but their piece was going on hard. I danced and whined and danced some more. Then top 3 selected came on and all the manz went nuts including me. Everyone started skankin to it. The DJ was running the crowd dis was a live shubz. "If your talking the hardest" everyone went nuts. Couple of people pushed me from left to right and right to left. Proper shouting out the words to it. I looked over to see one girl who had compromised with the beat and was whinin on her man to it. I laughed out loud. The music got a bit too hype for me so I went up the stairs to the toilet to wash face and fix up my make up. I waited for a while and came back to where the live-ness was. On my way down I heard moans coming from all the rooms that

were shut. People were on it. I went downstairs and was jammin by myself when one girl walked through. She was mixed, wearing a short black dress and heels. She looked nice and she was pretty still. I was about to rate her when someone walked through the door with her. I felt like vomiting. He leaned forward and kissed her. A proper passionate kiss. I wanted to go home. It was De-Andre. If I knew he was going to be there I wouldn't have bothered coming. But it was too late. I watched as he grabbed her by her waist and took her to the dance floor. I watched in envy. That could've been me. I felt so damn jealous. I watched as he whispered in her ear and she smiled up at him. Then our eyes locked. He looked at me whispered something in her ear she turned around and they both laughed. I wanted to cry my eyes out but I soldiered it out and got more Hennessey to drink. I gulped down one after another. A couple of mans were smoking in the corner and a zoot got passed down to me. I was now buzzin and on the verge of being drunk. I started dancing with one next guy and next thing I knew we were up stairs lashing. I got dressed and walked down the stairs. I was zipping my jeans when I saw De-Andre. He looked at me in disgust and walked away. I got a text. "You really are a sket you know." From DeAndre. I wanted to cry but buzzin meant that I had a mixed reaction. I decided to pay him back some more. I went round kissing and touching up any guy I could find knowing he was watching me. But he looked like he really didn't care. What made me angry was the fact that I did. I was sitting on the floor when he approached me. He smelt so damn nice and was wearing white and blue. A crisp white Armani top, white Armani trousers, blue Nike crep and blue diamond earrings. He looked so damn sexy. "You need to go home." "Who the fuck are you talking to?" I hyped to him. "You're nearly drunk, buzzin and being a sket." "Bruv what I do is none of your business so fuck off." He came closer and I could see the anger in his eyes. "I don't give a shit about you; it's my children's welfare I'm on about. You can do whatever the hell you want to do, you hoe." "Thank you." "You should be pleased, what you started before you're continuing. It's a minor for you. O look." He said pointing to a breh jammin by himself. "Go throw yourself at him, maybe this time you'll get paid." I felt so useless. I got up and slapped him so hard a couple of people looked. "You smell like a junkie move away from me." He shoved me away and walked back to the girl he was with. She cut her eyes at me and I walked out to her and punched her in her face. This resulted in me getting thrown out with people dem staring at me and laughing. To top it off, it started raining. Darius was no where to be found and I was money-less. I started walking towards the direction of home. Then I stepped in a puddle which meant that my shoes were now wet. The day couldn't get any worse. A passing car stopped and beeped the horn at me. I got in. It was a decent looking guy and we buss convo for a bit. A couple of minutes later I was sucking his dick. Soon after, he dropped 50pounds on my lap and I got out of the car. Wow. A 16year old mum, becoming a prostitute. I looked up in the sky and it poured down on me. Life could not get any worse for me. I bought a bus pass and took a bus home crying all the way. It kept playing in my head all over again. I knew I had fucked up big time I just didn't know how to make it up. The bus ride was slow and sad. "Are you alrite dear?" an old lady asked. I nodded. I had been sniffing bare trying to stop the crying. It obviously weren't working. It was my stop and I nearly missed it. I run home because the rain began to take the piss. I opened the door to my yard and saw a note from my mumzy. They were jammin at mah aunties in Pecknarm. I was happy they weren't at home when I came. I took out my phone and it dropped the floor. I couldn't be bothered to pick it up. I walked into my kitchen wet and sat on the floor and just looked around. I suddenly felt so angry. I got up and smashed the nearest plate. I was so angry I just walked into my room, stripped naked and went into the shower. I spent about an hour just standing there crying. Wow, love really did heart. I got out of the bath just in time to hear the door bell ring. I quickly put on a robe and run downstairs wiping the tears out of my eyes in the process. I opened the door and got a big fat slap. "You hypocrite." She shouted at me. "what exactly did I do?" I asked. Knowing full well I knew. "You fuck Priceless when you have De-Andre, you know I'm his baby mother right? Priceless." I nodded. She looked pissed. "And still, you fuck him and then fuck De and you thought you weren't gonna get caught?" I had had enough of people's nonsense. "Yes and I enjoyed every bit of it." "You really are a BITCH." "Safe, I know." "Wow, you get pregnant at 15, get someone killed, have a baby and have the decency to fuck your oldah who is my ting and is the father to my daughter." "Yup, exciting innih." She looked vex. "Mandy, have you finished yet, I got places to go." "Another mans yard for some dick innih what a slag." "Its plural dicks" I said smiling. She had pissed me off. "Priceless' dick feels nice innih, o man when he bites on my neck damn! Does he do that to you aswell Mandy?" She was silent so I continued my assault. "O well, maybe I really am special. The things he did to me. Wow." She slapped me again and this time I laughed. "You slap like a bitch. Tell my god-daughter I said Hi." I said and slammed the door in her face. I had got a quick glimpse of the anger and tears in her eyes before shutting my door. "Rayne, I swear to God you will pay for this." She shouted through my letter box. Right now I didn't care and she could do whatever she wanted to do. I stayed at home, watched tv and went to bed. I woke up to the sound of a long bang outside. I looked outside to see a car. It had a flat tire. "Stoopid dickhead." I muttered to myself. I got in the shower and quickly got dressed. I wanted to go shopping for a whole new wardrobe. I had some money saved up and the money from the guy in car meant that altogether I had about 3bills. I decided to go west. I went downstairs and found a note

in my letter box saying "You're a dead bitch." It had been typed. I really didn't care at that present moment in time. Life was tough so boy. I got my other phone and picked up the essentials I needed. Then it hit me. For the last couple of days I hadn't eaten and I also didn't feel the need to. I walked to the bus stop and waited for a bus. I suddenly decided to visit Dwayne for some weird reason. So I crossed the road to take the bus the opposite way. It didn't come so I decided to walk. The feeling of being watched crept on me. I turned around and no one was there. I started walking fast. I got to the house to find that no one was there. I was so pissed because I had walked to get there. I rang his next door neighbours bell and a man came out. He was sexy. I purposely licked my lips and he winked at me. "Umm do you by any chance know where Dwayne is?" Then he spoke. His voice was so deep it started to turn me on. "I aint seen anyone come out of that house in two days" "O, Ok." "Would you like to come in for some tea?" I decided to be upfront. "Nope, I would like to come in for some dick doh." I winked and he smiled. I saw the huge bulge in his trousers and knew I had hit the jackpot. I grabbed his piece and went into the house. We 69'ed, doggy' and he let me ride his piece. I sat on the bed sweating and watching him dress. "Wow that was something else." I nodded. "So do you live here?" I asked. "Nope this is my sister's house I am just house sitting for this weekend. " "So how you know Dwayne?" "I don't, I just wanted to talk to you." I laughed and so did he. I started to get dressed. "Come back soon Cecelia." I winked at him. I will. I walked out of the house with a smile on my face. I was happy. I took a bus for about 10minutes got off and took the train. About 30mins later I was in west. I decided to go to JD to go what was gwarning there. Nothing. Either it was too bait or too old for me. I took the back street and ended up in Levi and fell in love with some peng jeans. I looked at the price tag and thanked God I had brought that much money with me. 75, for jeans. I bought it and walked out of the shop looking over happy. I got a text on my phone. It was from Jade. "Long time since we talked. Wag1 for that bitch? Lol. Shubz tonight, cant cum to your yard, Meet me there. Lucy's house? Yeh I know you remember you whore. Lol. Tb if you're interested. (Of course you are.)" I text back quickly. My life was boring anyway. So, another shubz. I needed a top to wear with my new garm. I hit Ann Summers and La Senza and bought the sexiest underwear. One bill was gone. I didn't know where to get a top from. I didn't have a clue. I decided to hit Camden Town to find a top. One shubz and I was reaching everywhere in London for it. Kmt. I finally found those belly tops that were see through. I felt like a rebel go my belly button got re-pierced and had a sexy looking R coming down. I got home at 8pm, had a quick shower, straightened parts of my red hair and reached for the gel for the first time in nearly a year. I got to work. I was done and I looked hot if I say so myself. I then clocked my mistake. I was going to mess it up again cah I weren't wearing my clothes. KMT. O well, I weren't going to fix it. About 15minutes later I was done. I waited until 9:45 and left my house. The wind blowing through my hair was a lot. But it was also quite warm. I walked to the bus stop and waited. I was not walking again. After a few seconds it came and I got on it. I saw one African guy stare at me. His chick caught that and screwed me while I smiled at her. I jammed upstairs. Knowing most people were watching my body. I started laughing in my head. After 20minutesI got to my stop and got off the bus. The location was so fuckin bait. As soon as I got off the bus I traced the music to a house. There was actually no one inside which shocked me. "This must be live." The door was shut so I pressed it. Some next dude opened the door and I could smell the weed on him. He was zoned out. I entered, not taking any notice of him touching my bum. There were bare heads in the hallway jammin and all the mans turned their heads my way cah I was sure they smelled before they saw me. I smiled in my head. Dior perfume was pure genius. "Oi sexy come here lemme speak my mind about your batty." I started laughing but walked on. I walked into what I assumed was the living room. It was huge and packed. So many heads. I started whinin to thin air on some Chris Brown when someone came behind me. We started whinin and grindin and soon bare heads were looking and shouting encouragement. His mans were obviously biggin him up and ratin. I just wanted my dance. After a while I got tired and wanted something to drink. My new found friend and I went to where drinks were at. I chose water. I weren't getting zoned for no-one tonight. Then I heard her voice before I saw her. I thought to myself. "Let the games begin." She came in and saw my pretty face starin at her. I weren't having a bar. If she wanted beef I was bringing it in packages. She screwed me. "Who exactly are you looking at?" I asked. "Nuttin much innih, just a loose chick." "Fuckrie." Some of the people in the room said. "That's why when your at home looking after "Rayne" your man come get my pussy." "Slag!" she shouted. "Cah your pussy too damn loose. His dick gets harder for me. He told me." I said smiling. I anticipated what she was about to do before she done it. She jumped at me but I moved out of the way. "What 16year old has children?" she laughed. "What 18year old has a child and a man sleeping with the 16year old with a daughter?" I laughed. That was the ultimate diss for her. She grabbed my hair and started pulling. I punched her stomach but like the bitch she was she didn't let go. No-one tried to stop it. "Oi, Mandy what the fuck are you doing, who is the girl with the red hair?" he asked at the same time. It was Priceless. We all stopped and stared at him. He looked at me with confusion in his eyes. Then looked at Mandy. "Arr fuck you!" he said to her. "I told you to leave it, you neva listen now look at the stupidness you go and cause." I smiled at her while playing with my belly ring. He looked at me and kissed his teeth. Just then, Dwayne, De-Andre and Jade came through the door

and looked. "Rayne?" "Yup." "Rah your hair!" I nodded. Jade came closer and Mandy walked out with after Priceless. De-Andre just stared off into space. As usual his swagger was immaculate. He had taken out his hair and it was in a ponytail. He had on Levi jeans (same as me), A top saying "I get paid & I get laid." His colour coordination was on sky high level. Wow. Jade and Dwayne obviously didn't know what happened yet. "I'll leave you two alone." She whispered and walked out with Dwayne who gave me a wink. "You look nice..." he said. "Thanks." I walked up to him and reached up to kiss him. Then he turned his face. I felt like a dickhead. He pushed me away. "You just don't get it do you Rayne." "Get what?" "Wow." "I want you back." I said eagerly. "Rayne, you never had me." Tears just slowly gathered up in my eyes. I couldn't cry. Not now. "O so everything you said, you lied?" "No, you did. You assumed you loved me but obviously your destined to become one thing." "Which is?" "A prostitute, don't act like you aint started already. I hear your business is booming." "What?" I asked confused. He took out his phone and had me gob smacked. It was a video of me and Darius fuckin. "How did you...?" He turfed my question. "You're lucky I asked him to delete it. Watch yourself because your selfishness is not going to cost my children. Ya hear?" I nodded like a dickhead. "Now go." He said. I didn't budge. I wanted to speak my mind. "I hate you and I hope you die." I angrily spluttered at him. "I don't hate you, but you hate yourself, now go home or go to your next customer. Look at yourself. You're a pro." I run out of the kitchen and out of the house. Barging Mandy on my way out. Tears were streaming down my face. I felt like a prick. If any one else had said that I wouldn't have cared or bothered. But, coming from him it hurt like a knife had been put through my heart. I accidently bumped into someone. "O, I'm sorry." I said while still looking down. "O you will be." I looked up to see Mandy and a couple of her girls surrounding me with bottles and so on. I knew I was going to die. "Say hi to the devil for me." She smiled before coming at me with a sharp object. Then something hard hit my head. I dropped to the floor. "Wah you saying now huh..." I kept my mouth shut. "Funny how you was bare talking, here's an audience. Talk!" She said and kicked my jaw. I felt it click. It was so damn painful. I tried to get back up but was kicked to the floor. "You still don't get it. You think you can have EVERYTHING. I worked hard for my relationship with Priceless and I aint gonna let a stupid likkle rassclart tart like you try mess it up for me. See what I'm saying." "No, not really." I replied. Trying to soldier it out. " She thinks she's superman, with her fass mouth." Someone said. I got bottled and I knew the reason I was still conscious was because I had used my hand to protect my head. They dragged me into a secluded park and threw me at a fence. Water immediately gathered in my eyes. It was so painful I couldn't scream or shout. The scream was caught in my throat. I suddenly remembered first time I had sex with De-Andre and smiled. "Oi, Mandy she's smiling." "Chat shit." A light came unto my face and I closed my eyes. Someone slapped me several times and spat on me. I felt like I had been raped. I went through everything in my head and realized how selfish I had been. I really could not afford to die cah I had children. I decided to soldier it out. "Stand Up!" someone commanded. I did and got pushed back to the floor and suddenly shoes started stamping on me. They were rushing me and I had no option but to curl myself into a ball and silently pray and cry. Someone picked me up and I opened my eyes to see Mandy holding a knife. My body tensed and I could swear my heart missed a beat. I closed my eyes and prepared for what was about to happen. "Oi you, what d'ya think yur doing ta'er!" a male voice boomed. Them cockney accents. The person dropped me and they all dusted. I hit the floor with a thud and my body refused to move. My face felt swollen and my belly was killing me. Every part of my body was in pain. I silently cried and heard the prominent sound of footsteps approach me. Closer and closer. "Poor child, Can you hear me?" I couldn't move or talk so I couldn't answer. He crouched down and looked at me and I stared back helplessly. "I've called the ambulance they'll be here soon." He waited with me in the awkward silence while he told me stories about his children. I laughed in my head as he told me the funniest stories. I tried to smile to let him know that I appreciated what he was doing. For about 15minutes he talked and helped me forget the pain. The sound of sirens could be heard. They were close by. Soon after am ambulance parked in the corner and Joshua. The guy who had saved me, called out to them. They put an oxygen mask over my face and slowly put me on a stretcher. I passed out. I opened my eyes and I was in a park sitting on a swing. I saw De-Andre and the twins. I called out to him and he looked in my direction and looked away again. I saw Jade open her arms running to hug someone and I run to her and hugged her. Nothing. I went straight through her. I realized, I was dead. I started bawling. "No, I cant be dead." I saw De-Andre with another girl and I read his lips as he told her he loved her. "No De- I love you. I'm sorry. I love you" But he didn't hear but once again looked in my direction. "Rayne!" I opened my eyes to see Dwayne, Jade, De-Andre and Priceless staring at me. I was crying and finding it hard to breathe. I finally got my breath back with help of the oxygen mask. "Rayne, you were having a nightmare." I continued to cry and didn't look at anyone. I felt weak and I passed out again. I woke up but still had my eyes closed. I could smell disinfectant everywhere. I knew I was in a hospital but didn't remember why. Then it all came running back. It kept playing over and over again in my head. I opened my eyes to see De-Andre watching me. He saw my eye flinch and clocked I was awake. "Rayne?" I opened my eyes. I tried to get up and he forced me back down and readjusted the pillows so I was sitting up. While doing so, I got lost in his smell. He smelled so nice. He sat on my the hospital bed with worried eyes. His left eye was now black and his right eye looked navy dark blue. It was freaky and sexy at the same time. "Are

you going to tell me what happened?" I shook my head. "Why not." "Because I deserved it." I said with tears in my eyes. "Nobody deserves to beat up and left for dead for doing nothing." I frowned. "But you know exactly what I did. What do you mean nothing." He took a deep breathe. "I'm disappointed." With that, he walked out. I spent a day in the hospital and discharged myself without any one knowing. The nurse had gave me some second hand clothing from the hospital and I felt dirty. I lied about calling a taxi and half run half limped to catch a bus. I carried the prescribed drugs alongside me. I got on the bus and was suddenly scared to go home because my mum could be there. I decided to stay at Dwayne's house. As I got on the bus every one stared at me because I truly looked fucked up. "Young girl are you ok?" the bus driver asked. "Yeh fine, thanks for asking." I smiled at him. I went to find a seat to sit on. My body was aching. After about half an hour I got off the bus and started walking towards his house. I has a stitch already and I had to walk and breathe in and out because it was that painful. I finally got there and got a glimpse of my reflection in a car mirror. I looked fucked and my hair was everywhere. I knocked on the door and waited. There was some rustling behind the door and it opened. "What the hell are you doing out of hospital?" he asked. "Dis-charged. Can I come in?" he hesitated for a bit and opened the door fully. He was wearing his only his boxers. I was about to ask when a female voice came from upstairs. "Andre! Who is it? Come upstairs you need to finish what you started." I felt like a top wasteman. "O I'm sorry, I'm clearly interrupting something. I'll be on my way..." I said turning around and heading for the door. "Oi, you are NOT going anywhere, you look like you've been through 2 wars." If I weren't that weak I would have punched him in his face. I headed towards the living room where he went upstairs. I sat on the sofa and dozed off. I woke up and immediately knew I was in his bed because I could smell him. I opened my eyes and saw him on his laptop. He was lying on the floor. I looked down and he heard the bed sheets shuffle so he turned around. "You're back." He smiled at me. I smiled back. I got up and headed towards the bathroom. "Where are you going?" "Bathroom." I said. Without planning it, I had a bath. Now I was stuck because I couldn't get out of the tub. I had no option but to call him. "De-Andre." I said quietly. My voice was going aswell. "Deeeee!" I shouted with all my energy. He stormed into the bathroom. "Oopss sorry." He turned to walk out. "No come back. I cant get out." I said in disdain. He looked confused so I elaborated. "Pick me up." He hesitated. "You're acting like you aint seen me naked before." He smiled. He came closer and I saw his face change. He was getting horny and he knew that I knew. He lifted me up and wrapped me in a towel and picked me up and dropped me unto his bed. I was stuck and so was he. We both felt the same thing but we didn't know exactly what to do. It felt so damn awkward. He looked at me. "Could you please lend me some clothes please." He walked to his wardrobe. "Don't watch this yeh." I was baffled. He opened it and bare tops and crep dropped out. I started laughing because one hit his head. I couldn't stop laughing. My ribs hurt but I couldn't stop. He grinned at me. "So you think this is funny?" "Nope." I said and silently giggled. "Thank you." He nodded. He went back to his laptop and I started creaming myself. I wanted to kiss him so badly. It was so tempting to have something in front of you that you wanted but knew that you couldn't have it. I purposely took away the towel which meant I was fully naked. I continued to cream myself and saw him glance at me and hold his breath. At least I still turn him on. I thought to myself. I smiled in my head. Satisfied that he still felt something for me. He cleared his throat. "Could you cream my back please, I cant reach." He eagerly got up. He began his work. As soon as his fingers made contact with my skin I started breathing hard. He slowly began creaming my back while I got hornier. I bit my lip and tried to hold in that sigh that wanted to come out. When he finished I decided one way or another I was going to have him again. I put on the clothes he gave me. We were both sitting in silence. I was scared to talk. He started talking. "You hurt me." I didn't know how to reply. I didn't even know what to say. "I'm sorry." He didn't reply. After about 5minutes later he answered. "It's got nothing to do with sorry, Rayne you care about only yourself and know one else." "I CARE ABOUT YOU!" I said sadly. "No you don't because if you did, you wouldn't have done what you did. What makes it worse is that it weren't a mistake you knew what you were doing." I switched and walked towards him. "You leave me for a gun! Remember? And I took you back like the dickhead I was." "Rayne. You NEVER had me or took me back." "Ok, so I all those things you said were just lies!" I shouted at him. Then he switched. He looked so angry and hurt. Now we were standing face to face and shouting at each other. "Maybe." He answered. I suddenly felt the tears gather up and fall from my eyes. "I HATE YOU." I said. Then we suddenly started kissing. I tasted my tears as I kissed him. He pushed me on the bed and started taking off my clothes. "I HATE YOU." I said to him. "Hmm." He whispered. "I hate... I love you." I said. I didn't know what to do. I got naked quickly and he started kissing my neck and slowly bite on it and sucked. "Omydays." I moaned and tensed. He got on top of me. His fingers slowly crept downwards and I started to move restlessly. He started fingering me and kissed me so I was moaning into his mouth. It was so weird. The feeling was so intense I passed out. I opened my eyes and felt him behind me. I backed up to get closer to him. "Turn around Rayne." I did and stared into his eyes. They were now black again. He took my hand and put it on his heart. "Can you feel it?" I nodded. "See how fast its beating, because of you. Every time I see you it beats faster, but you hurt me and it has never happened to me before, so I was quick to hate you and I'm sorry." I started crying. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do to make it up to you. But I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you bubi." He sighed and shook his head. "Its not about that. I want you to understand that I have never loved anyone like I've loved you. That's why what happened right now happened. Rayne If you were any other girl do you think you'll even be breathing?" He thought about it for a while and realized how evil he sounded or at least I hope he did. He chuckled. "Ok, that came out completely wrong. "yeh it did. You had me scared." I

commented. He laughed harder. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." "I know you didn't." "Is that so?" he replied moving closer. Soon we were eye to eye nose to nose, everything to everything. He spat in my mouth. He saw my face. It weren't those immense ones, just spit? "isn't kissing swapping spit anyway?" I swallowed his spit and screwed him. I got out of the bed and he slapped my bum. I walked out and didn't look back. I out of his bedroom into the kitchen. On my way I took one of his tops and put it on. I walked into the kitchen and clocked how hungry I was. I decided to make "Chinese" I took out some pepper and started chopping with the knife when I clocked blood. "Fuck sake!" I had cut myself. I put my hand under the tap but it didn't stop bleeding. I put a tissue on it and postponed my cooking and ran upstairs kinda scared. "I'm bleeding." I said to him. He was still in his bed watching a movie. "Come ere girl." He said. He sounded so peng. His accent was still there Damn. I walked towards him. He took the tissue off and put my cut finger in his mouth. "De-Andre, you are officially WEIRD. What the fuck!?" he grinned at me and continued to suck my blood. "You're a vampire." I said and took my finger out. "Your blood is nice." He winked at me. I looked at him in horror and he laughed really hard. He got up and headed towards the bathroom. He was naked and my temperature rose by a couple of degrees when he walked. I licked my lips and realized what I was thinking and laughed at myself. He came back with a plaster and took care of my finger. I kept looking places. He was talking but I weren't listening. I saw his lips move but didn't register a word that came out. He soon clocked and looked at what had got my attention. This time I heard him when he spoke. "So wow, my dick got you hypnotized." I nodded and kept staring. I started kissing him and touched his piece and felt it go hard. I started bashing him off and decided to let him know that I was the boss. "De?" He groaned. "Uh-Huh?" "Am I your girl?" I said looking at him. He nodded. "You're sure?" He nodded again. I decided I had achieved what I wanted to do so I stopped. His face was comical so I laughed. He looked pissed. He was pissed but I didn't care. It was called revenge. "You are a cock teaser." I laughed harder. I got into his bed and looked up into the ceiling and slowly closed my eyes. My legs were hurting like mad. "Rayne, are you ready to tell me who done it?" "Mandy." I said. I couldn't be bothered to talk and argue about it. "She what!" I opened my eyes and saw him dressed and tying his shoe laces. He was going out. Today he was wearing green and black. His crep was green and black and he had black combats and a green Ed Hardy top. He was really and truly the meaning of swagger. "Where are you going?" "To see someone." "Who?" "SomeONE." "Who?" " Someone." "Who?" "A business associate." "Who?" "Some fuckin one." I weren't giving up that easily. "WHO!?" "PRICELESS!" I didn't reply. I didn't know whether that was a good thing or not. "You need to learn to stop being so nosey." I totally agreed with him because now I felt like a wasteman. His door bell rang and he went to open the door while I put on some clothes. They were 100 sizes too big but I liked it because it was baggy. I walked downstairs and heard talking in the living room. I opened the door and saw Jade and Sky talking to De. I frowned. "What is going on?" Jade answered. "Mandy, is getting it." "But I deserved it doh. You don't know what I did." "Yes I did. Rayne I can read you like a book. I knew what you were doing but I didn't say anything." "Wow..." "I don't care if you took her man but aint no way she is going to try kill you. She must think this is Eastenders and Hollyoaks in one. Nah this aint Eastendoaks. No Dennis to kill, no Mandy to shoot, nah nah..." We were all silent for a second and realized that Sky had strayed of topic and was evidently chatting shit. We all started laughing. "But yeh...she's getting it. No one fucks with you girl or boy." Sky said. I smiled when she looked at De-Andre and emphasized the word "boy". She was a lot. I explained to them what happened. "The police came while you were in the hospital." "Seriously?" I asked. "Yeh, you said you didn't know who it was and you didn't see them." "serious? I don't remember saying that." "Rayne dear, you hardly remember anything." Sky said. " By the way I like your hair." "Thanks." "Makes you look so damn..." De-Andre stopped and we all laughed at him. He also kinda strayed off topic. He got a phone call and walked out of the room. "Fuckin hell, he always smells nice don't he." Jade commented. "I know" Sky and I replied at the same time. We all started laughing. "Ouch!" I winced in pain. "What the matter bubz?" "Rib, pain, hurt, bad, beat up." They started laughing and I didn't see anything funny about the situation. "What language was that?" "English." "You Africans." They started laughing and I felt left out so I laughed aswell. The situation became fuckri cah as soon as I started laughing they stopped which meant I was laughing by myself. They stared at me and my laugh died out. Literally. They started laughing again. We talked for a while and they put some ice on my face to make the swelling go down. By evening I was feeling so much better and my mum called Jade's phone and asked me to come home to look after the twins. Jade and Sky came with me. "Hi mummy." "What de hell happened to your face." "I dropped down the stairs because I was walking in the dark." She frowned but didn't say anything else. I thanked God. "Where are they?" "Upstairs." I ran up the stairs. Nah...I didn't. I slowly limped up the stairs in excitement. I walked into my mumzy's room and saw their cute faces staring at me. De immediately started crying. "Spoilt baby." I said and picked him up. He immediately stopped. "Attention seeker." Lesha looked up from her cot and smiled. "Aww who's a good girl." She started laughing while the other one seeked more attention. She stuck out her tongue. "Baby your hungry. Mummy's coming back with food." As I made an attempt to leave the room she started crying. Now I was stuck. I heard someone coming up the stairs. I assumed it was my mum. The door opened. "Mum could you-?" He looked at me and grinned. "How did you get here?" "I used the front door." "Don't fuck about man, you know what I mean." He laughed and came closer. "I came to see my children." He said stepping closer. He took Lil De away from me and surprisingly he didn't cry. "Bitch." I muttered under my breath.

"What?" "that one your carrying, always cries when people pick him up. He doesn't know you and as soon as you pick him up nothing comes out of his small trap." He laughed as I picked up Leesha. "Wow, he looks just like me and she wow." He said completely in shock. "This is amazing." De-Andre sat on the floor and started playing with Lil De. It looked so cute. This baby was a top actor and he weren't even one yet. He was smiling and making those baby noises but started crying as soon as I attempted to pick him up. "Omdz." I said in shock. De-Andre just laughed. "Like father like fuckin son." I muttered under my breath. "Mummy has got fat issues." He said to the baby. "Don't try corrupt my son." "Our son mate, our son." I smiled. I walked out with Leesha and left them to catch up on whatever they were discussing. He didn't even notice me walk out of the room. I walked downstairs to discover them watching Heroes. My mum and all. "Hello?" No one bothered to look in my direction. "Lesh baby its me and you." I went into the kitchen and fed her. I walked back up stairs to discover they had moved into my room. I went inside to find the little one sleeping and the big one watching him. "Shh he's asleep." "You dickhead, you think I don't know that. I flippin breast feed him sometimes." He chuckled. I put Leesha on the floor and she started biting his crep with her gums. He picked her up and she looked at him for a long time. As it to say "Who the fuck are you." Then she sneezed on his face. I laughed and got the baby wipes and wiped his face. "Wow this feels amazing. Like wow." "De?" "Yup." "Can I see a picture of Destiny and Desire?" His eyes lit up immediately and I saw the happiness in them. "Not on this phone at the moment." "O ok..." "OMDZ." I gasped. "She's sleeping." I said. "SO?" "She has never slept this time before, usually takes a lot of crying." "Maybe cah her daddy is here." He grinned and I looked at him. I picked up Lil De and we headed towards the cots. A couple of minutes later me and De-Andre were on my bed just talking. "I love you." He said randomly. "I know, and I kinda like you too." He frowned and I laughed. "Joke! Chillax. Love you too." I said and kissed him. Things were going to get better right? We obviously couldn't do anything because people were downstairs. I talked and talked and talked and he listened. I felt great telling him everything. What sacred me, what made me happy and silly things that hurt me. He listened and I talked for ages. I was nearly out of breath when I finished. He was about to say something when his phone went off. He answered it and talked for a bit. "I have to go." "I clocked." He got out of the bed and put on his crep. "De-Andre, what exactly do you do?" He laughed, kissed me on my cheek said bye and walked out. I was now determined to find out what he did for a living. A week later, I was watching Friday on DVD laughing my ass off when my phone rang. It was Jade. Priceless. [After seeing Rayne at the hospital] After the hospital occasion I drove home and sat down confused. Mandy had gone too far. She nearly killed Rayne. No-one was at home. I assumed Mandy had taken Rayne out. (daughter) I walked about and waited for her. She didn't come. So man started playing the Xbox. I was about to kick some virtual ass when the door slammed. I turned it off and waited for her. I was upstairs in the bedroom and she was downstairs. Her footsteps became more loud the closer she came. She opened the door and jumped. "Oh shit, you scared me." She said attempting to give me a kiss. I turned my head. "What's the matter?" "You." I said and walked away. "You flippin tried to kill Rayne." She laughed. "O, her. I should have known. No, I taught her a lesson. She shouldn't fuck about with me." "It was ME that fucked her. ME. So why don't you try teach me a lesson?" she was silent. "Because I love you." She said beginning to cry. I felt no remorse for her what so ever. "Mandy the ONLY reason I'm with you is because of Rayne, my daughter. I grew up without a dad and I know how it feels like shit. That's why I asked you to move in with me. So that my baby had a stable family. But because you cant keep your mouth shut, hands to yourself and fingers of alcohol, I'm taking custody of my daughter." "You cant do that!" "Yes I can and I will, I talked to the lawyer today." She started crying uncontrollably but I still didn't feel sorry for her. "But but, you cant I love her you just cant." "I love her too and if you want what's best for you and her, I'm giving you three days to pack your shit and get the fuck out of my house." "What about Rayne?" I laughed at her cheek. "You actually thought I was letting you walk out of my house carrying MY daughter? She's staying with me." "But, I'm her mother you cant do that!" She said crying more and more. "You are no mother. You are an alcoholic. Do you know how many times you've come home drunk? You go with your friends get high and do God knows what and I stand back and take this shit? No enough is enough and I want you gone before I really start switching because when I do you wont like it." She was bawling like a baby and I walked out off the room just in time to miss my lamp smashing against the wall where my head should have been. This girl was trouble and my baby weren't growing up with that around her. I walked into my kitchen to see the asshole had left her alone in the buggy. Luckily she was sleeping. I was about to take her out when she woke up anyway. I smiled at her and she smiled back, showing her gums. I walked over and picked her up. "I love you Rayne." I said acting as though she could understand me. "Its me and you from now on and truss me no girl is getting in our way." She smiled. "You understand that huh."

Rayne. "Jade, what exactly are you searching for?" She laughed. "Would you like to get some revenge?" A smile crossed my face. "Mandy?" I asked, in excitement. "Yup. Guess what? I heard Priceless threw her out." "Chat shit!" "Yup, he did. And he wants custody of Rayne he's proper going hard with this." "Rah I feel sorry for her. If De-Andre dared do that to me. I swear down I would kill him. My children are my world swear down." "Aww, the 16 year old mum!" "Oi shut your mouth." We both started laughing on the line. "But seriously Rayne what you wanna do?" "Ermm, I wanna kick her ass and fucking break something of hers blud." "Okay, Okay. I'll call you back." "Random, but ok. Bye bye bubz." She laughed. "Yeh bye my love" I laughed and we both locked off. I decided to go out. I felt kinda bad. So I text Jade. "Nah I'm not on it no more

. It's fuckry to her. Allow her. I don't think I can do it no more. Sorry boo boo. X x x" A couple of minutes later I got a message. "Damn! But ye I understand." I felt a bit better and got dressed. The red dye in my hair was still prominent which meant I was rocking bright colours for the rest of the month. I really didn't mind. I wore my white skinny jeans, yellow low cut top and yellow dolly shoes and some yellow and white accessories. I looked sick. If I say so myself. I took my Roca wear bag and went out of my house. The heat was amazing. I decided to hit the shop to buy some water. When I got there, I saw Mandy jamming outside with one guy from my endz called Romel. She looked at me and I looked back at her. She looked away. "Dickhead." I muttered to myself. When I came out of the shop, there was no-one there. They had gone away. I headed towards the bus stop clueless on where I was going. I decided to take a short cut which meant crossing the road and going through a small alleyway. I crossed the road and started walking. I felt something weren't right. I looked behind and no-one was there. I put my head phones in my ear and started listening to some slow jams. A couple of minutes later, I felt something hit my head. I turned around to see Mandy had bottled me but hadn't hit me hard enough for me to collapse. I took out my headphones and saw her run away laughing. I took off my shoe and chased after her still in pain. She crossed the road and jumped on a bus that had just stopped. I was so angry I couldn't breathe. I saw a couple of heads staring at me and I clocked I weren't wearing any shoes. I put my shoes back on and called Jade. "Rayne, you must want something." "Mandy just bottled me." "CHAT SHIT!" she shouted down my line. "Come to my house now!" she exclaimed. "On my way." I decided to explain what I think happened. Mandy I felt good after what I did but I knew in my hearts of hearts I wouldn't be happy until this girl was dead. I smiled to myself. She had fucked up everything for me. My relationship with Priceless is in jeopardy and De-Andre wont even talk to me. I cant see my baby any more and because of her I'm back on the drugs. I felt the tears gather up in my eyes. I shook it off. I weren't going to cry. I had to soldier this out. Soon enough, Priceless will be mine again and Rayne, dead. I got off the bus and headed towards my cousins apartment. I buzzed his number and he opened the door. I waited for the lift and after a few minutes it came. I took it to the 6th floor and got out to find his door open. I walked inside and smelt the weed straight away. I wanted a puff straight away. I shut the door behind me and walked into his living room. I could hear bare manz in the room and the tv was loud and the music was also loud. I walked inside and saw everyone but my cousin look at me. I smiled. "Set me your spliff g." I asked one light skinned guy. He passed it over and I took a long puff and let it out. "That felt good." I winked at him. He winked back. "Tyrone, I need to talk to you." I stated. "Go on." I started talking about everything that happened and his mandem listened aswell. When I finished the music had stopped and every man in the room was looking at me. "Fuckin hell! That was like a movie." "Alie." Someone else replied. "So what should I do?" "Mandy, leave it blud cah I know Rayne and I'm saying don't fuck about." "I don't fuckin care!" I shouted. "She FUCKED up my life and you want me to leave it? Nah mate I aint even started. I'm going to get revenge." "Nah low them ones there. You fuckin nearly killed the girl." The light skinned dude said. "Mandy leave it blud and you cant chat shit cah you cheated on him aswell with that Romel or whatever his name is." "But that was an accident!" "You chat the most shit!" Tyrone replied. "What you mean?" "Mandy, you fuckin slept with him for 6months. You think that Priceless don't know that before that DNA test there was a possibility the baby weren't his." "W-What?" I asked confused and scared at the same time. "Priceless knew you were fuckin Romel way before I found out. De-Andre fucking told me one day and told me to warn you cah Price was going to throw you out and tell Victoria about it. Victoria was Price's older sister who had hated me since time began. I hated her too but I couldn't exactly tell her cah she was dangerous to deal with. I knew for a fact that she wouldn't blink to kill me. We talked for time and then we decided to get fucked. Someone went out and bought the alcohol and more weed. Happy days. Rayne "Jade I'm going after her. I swear down I'm gonna make sure she never forgets it." I said. "To think I was going to allow it and let it slide. Nah how dare she!" I shouted. Everyone on the bus looked in my direction. "And you lots mind your own fucking business." I directed at him. Jade started laughing on my line which made me smile. "Its not funny! They're bare watching face!" "Allow them man, its called curiosity." "Nah its called being nosey!" Someone started calling me. "Jade hold on yeh, someone's calling me. It was on private. "Man I'm gonna be on hold!" she sighed and I laughed. "Hello?" I asked. Silence. "Her-fuckin low? Who's this?" Silence again. I was about to lock off the phone when the person decided to speak. "Yeh, sorry hello." I was surprised. "De-Andre?" "Yeh, what are you doing today?" "Nothing." I lied. I wanted to find out what he wanted. "Would you like to accompany me somewhere?" "yeh where?" "Airport." "Why?" "My gran is coming from America innih." "O Ok, Erm hold on a sec." I swapped calls. "Jade, I'll bell you back yeh." "Omdz I get dropped for De-Andre." She replied. "How you know is him?" "Only person that will make you sound horny on the phone." I laughed. "Dickhead." "Bye." We both said and locked off.

"Yeh, De, I wana come." "Meet me outside the train station." "We aint taking car?" "Noooo! Do you think I'm superman?" "Yeh." I replied. I weren't joking. He weren't Spiderman or a genetically modified human but he did have powers. "Hmm, I'll show you some of my powers if you quickly come over." "I'm on my way." I replied excitedly. "Ok. I'm waiting. Bye." I locked off and started getting horny. I got off the bus and took another 1. The bus ride was long for me. I was about to get off the bus when I got a text. It read; " Don't knock door is open. Cum upstairs!" I got hornier and bit my lip. I paced to his yard and opened the door and properly locked it. I slowly walked up the stairs. The door to his room was locked and I was slightly dehydrated. My water had finished. I quickly u-turned but not before talking off my shoes and running down the stairs. I quickly drank the water and went back upstairs. I opened the door to find him sitting on his bed in his boxers and hands down his shorts watching some porn. He had shut all the curtains so it was dark. He looked so damn horny. I grinned at him and walked towards him. "Come sit down." He said. I tried hard not to laugh. He was proper in his element. He licked his lips at me and I coulda swore I saw a halo on top of his head. I sat on him and we started kissing. He started talking off my clothes. It was hot anyway so I didn't mind. Soon, I was lying on top of him naked and the only thing stopping us were the Calvin Klein boxer shorts he had on. "You want it?" he asked. Referring to his piece. "Of course I fucking do." He started laughing but I was dead serious. "Come get some then." He said and winked. He looked so fucking sexy. He picked me up and laid me on his bed. He then on top of me. Making me bite my lip again. "Do you love me?" he asked. "Of course I do." He started biting on my nipples and I grabbed onto him harder and moaned. I started breathing really hard and he just continued. "Rayne, I love you." "Same same." He started fingering me. "Rayne, I need you." "O my !" I breathed. "I need you too." He started biting and kissing on my neck. "Rayne?" "Yes buba?" "Marry me." "Yes...ok." I whispered in his ear. He slowly started fucking me. O my word. It didn't feel like sex. It was something I had never in my life experienced before. "De-Andre I love you, swear I will never stop loving you. You mean everything to me." I randomly said. Not recognizing my own voice. " Rayne I wanna be with you until the end of time." He replied. It was like we were at our wedding just saying our wedding recitals. He suddenly stopped. "What's wrong?" he kissed my cheek and replied. "I like you on top." I started laughing and he turned me over so I was sitting on his dick. He smiled at me and I bent down to kiss him. "Ouch! What you do that for!" He didn't reply but smiled. He had bit my lip. "Your lips look tasty enough to eat." I started grinding on him and soon, we were both moaning, kissing, biting and griping on each other. He threw away the covers and made me go on all fours and started hitting it from behind. "De-Andreee! Omdz, dat feels so..." I couldn't finish my sentence cah I couldn't breathe. I was moaning and shouting his name. He started slapping my bum which made me even hornier. "O yeh baby." He worked harder and I clocked that he liked it when I talked dirty to him. It turned him on even more. "De, fuck me harder please, o shit o shit, yehh baby o my-" I was about to cum and he could tell. He continued to tear out my pussy for the next 10minutes before he buss inside me. He collapsed on top of me. He used his arms to support him and he got off me and laid beside me, stroking my thigh. We both dozed off. I woke up to him kissing my neck. "Rayne?" "Yeh?" "I was serious." "ABOUT?" "Marrying you." I smiled but he couldn't see cah I had my back turned to him. "De-Andre, I know and so was I when I said yes." I could now feel him breathing on my neck. "serious?" he asked. I could hear the excitement in his voice and I had to laugh. "O, you were fucking about." He replied in disappointment. I turned to face him and what I saw shocked me. "Omdz when did you get it?" I asked. I hadn't even noticed it before. "O couple of weeks ago." "Isit real?" He laughed. "You're so naive." I pouted and he kissed me. I bit his lip and he started roaring with laugher. He wouldn't stop and I had to slap him a couple of time for him to stop. He had a tat of Leesha,Lil-De and my name on his chest. It looked sick! But I was really shocked. It was in italics, an example, it kinda looked like Trey Songz's tat on his chest. Only, there was a prayer there as well. It looked really nice but painful. I knew that I would never have a tat because I couldn't stand pain. I turned around to sleep again when he smacked my bum. "Ouch, that hurt." "Move, get up, we're gonna be late otherwise. Move it!" he shouted. He pulled off the covers and I got cold. He started getting dressed and I just watched. I was watching him when I clocked he was actually going to leave me if I didn't hurry up. I started to put back on my clothes when I clocked. "De-Andreeeee!" "Why you shouting mans name like that? I'm right here." "Did you sex me with a condom?" he lowered his head. "I repeat did you sex me wit-" he started kissing me. "Shullup," he whispered. "I'm not joking. You got me pregnant once, don't fuck about. Do you want more tats on your chest?" he grinned at he and pushed me onto the bed. "De-Andre leave me and fuck off." He allowed me to get dressed while he watched me with some hungry eyes. I was scared he would just jump on me and I knew I couldn't say no to him. I put on my top and tried to fix up my fucked up hair. I screwed him and he laughed. I weren't having it. I silently planned revenge for later on. I felt better now. A few hours later we were at Heathrow Airport waiting for his granny to come. I had bought water for £1.50. I weren't happy even though my hubby paid for me. I was about to switch at him for the 100th time when he excitedly spoke. "Look can you see there they are." "Who?" I asked baffed. He said Gran and I assumed it would be 1 Uno, singular not dos, plural. I looked and saw nothing. I had to hit the toilets. "De, sorry I'm coming back quickly." I dusted to the toilets to fix myself up. I didn't wanna be introduced looking like a washed out tramp. Nah mate. I came out and De-Andre was no where to be seen. I started worrying and getting scared. I felt so exposed there, on my Jack Jones. I looked around then I clocked long hair and decided to follow the hair. He was kneeling down and I thought he was tying his shoe laces. The closer I walked the more I knew what I was seeing weren't a dream. I saw his Gran. She had come with two people. He turned around and looked at me. He smiled

and stood up. I walked closer. In complete shock. I could now see the two people she came with. Then De-Andre spoke. "Rayne, meet Destiny and Desire." "H-Hhi" I stuttered. In complete shock at the two cute children before me. They were so damn cute. They were mixed because they looked over exotic. They shyly waved back. The granny was too busy looking for something in her bag to notice me so I waited and watched the twins. They were quite adorable. They both had long eye lashes and big bold blue eyes like their daddy. I couldn't tell the difference between them because they looked and dressed the same. I was star struck because they were so damn beautiful. "Daddy I missed you." One of them said. "Missed you too baby." He said picking her up. "Which is which?" I whispered. He started laughing. "This is Desire and Ms Independent over there is Destiny." He said laughing. While at the airport waiting for the luggage I discovered several things. De-Andre loved off his children and was an over protective daddy. He also had a BIG soft spot for Desire and she was daddy's little girl. Destiny was more independent and liked to explore and look about. I watched his face. He seemed so happy and his eyes glowed every time he looked at them. We finally got the luggage and headed towards the train. The "granny", was one of the youngest grannies I had ever seen. She looked to be in her late thirties and early forties. She was looking at every single shop with glee. She was on it. The train ride home was quiet. Well at least for me. He had placed both of them on his lap and was teaching them how to read. It looked so cute. I screwed one mixed race chick who was looking at my man with lust in her eyes. Is she dumb? I thought myself. Me and Clara, the nanny got into a convo about Beyonce and Kelly Rowland. She was gassin on how Beyonce was a better singer than Kelly. We all know that's not true. "Well, Beyonce breaks up relationships while Kelly fixes them." She started laughing. "Damn, is that how it is?" she asked. I didn't know whether to reply or not cah the accent and how she spoke confused me. I didn't know whether she was asking questions or just saying it. "Daddy Daddy, I'm hungry." "We gon' stop soon ite?" "Yupp Okay Daddy." I knew for a fact that was Desire. I was in awe as they spoke. It sounded so sick! Or maybe I was just a saddo. "Clara, where are you from?" She laughed. "Puerto Rico & African American." "O, so you speak Spanish?" "Si." "So where is Destiny and Desire from?" I asked being over nosey, but I had to know. "Same place as me." I got confused. "Wait their your actual grandchildren?" "You said it." "Rahh." "What?" "O its just a term we us in England when were shocked or surprised." I tried to explain. "Y'all just nuts." I started laughing. "So What chu doing with lover boy over there?" she whispered. I felt myself getting hot. I didn't want to lie and at the same time I didn't want to expose myself so early. "Errmm, well you know..." "Nah boo-boo I don't know." She said bare grinning teeth at me. I had been clocked so I decided to tell her the truth and exclude the fact that he got me pregnant. "Well, we're ermm in a relationship." "Going good." "Better than good." I said excitedly. "Hmm how old are you?" "young." "How young?" "16 young." She started laughing so hard that everyone on the train looked at us. I felt so embarrassed. I didn't understand or know why she was laughing. "Do you want to know why I'm laughing?" I nodded and she laughed some more. "That's an assignment for you. Find out why." "Um Ok." I decided to ask a question that had been on my mind for ages. "Clara, what does De-Andre do?" "Work?" "Yes." She grinned at me and tapped her nose. "Ask him yo'self, I've been sworn to secrecy. Motherfucker." Now it was my turn to laugh. This woman was too funny. "So are you staying with De?" "De- huh, well Imma hit up Clarisse." (Sky's mum) "O so the twins are jammin with De?" "Jammin?" I laughed. "So, the twins are going to stay with De-Andre?" "That's the plan." "How long you here for?" "Couple of months then we take off again." "Skeen Skeen." "Skeen?" I laughed harder this time. "A term for ok or I see. Well something along them lines anyways." "Crazy motherfuckers. Y'all cant speak English properly." "Omydayz. This is England we were the 1st people to speak English. We colonized your damn country." "Funny how we're such a world super power. Aint it." She said laughing. After a couple of minutes we were finally in London. I felt tired because my bum had been perched on the same spot for how many hours. I took hold of one suitcase and dusted. I didn't wanna hold the rest. They looked heavy! "Where you going?" DeAndre asked. I stopped in my tracks. "Erm, I'm heading to your house. Where are you going?" "Same place, but what I don't understand is why your moving so fast with just 1 suitcase." I decided to do some acting to see how far I would get. I put my left hand on my back. "O, the pain. These pains, back pains, I've been having them for long! It just keeps going and coming back and now its back." I said while poking out my bottom lip and giving him puppy eyes. He started laughing then shook his head. "Daddy Daddy! Desire dun stole my candy." "Awww, their so cute." I said. "Desire, give it back to her." "But Dad-" "No buts." She looked at him with her pretty blue eyes. He gave in to her and me and Clara looked at each other and silently giggled. "Destiny, ima get you some more later ite?" "But Daddy I wanted that one." "Ite, Damn. If you do this fa me ima get you something you really want." He said winking at her. Her face immediately lit up and she smiled and turned to screw her sister. I started laughing. It was so funny how she done it. "Destiny!" he barked at her. "Sorry pops, she's just a pain in the-" I started laughing. "What I tell you bout cussin?" "I weren't cussin. Just telling her bout her damn self." I didn't know whether it was the fact she was talking like that or the fact that she had her hands on her hip while doing so. She looked like a small grown up. De-Andre gave her a killer screw which silenced her quick time. We got to De's house and I looked as his muscles worked hard carrying those suitcases. He looked so sexy. He clocked me looking and winked at me. I couldn't help but smile at him. I opened the door for him and he carried everything upstairs into the spare bedroom and what I saw as I entered shocked me. The room had completely been changed. The walls were painted blue, pink, violet and a lighter shade of pink. It looked really nice and there were two beds. Not bunk beds but single beds on each side. One bed had a family guy set up and the other, a High School Musical one. I guessed Destiny's would be the family guy one and I was so right. "Omdz, De-Andre they watch Family Guy?" "Yh, but Destiny likes it more." Wow, I thought in my head. He was on it! I had to go home because my mum had called me and she wanted me to pick up the twins. I said

bye to everyone and made my way home. When I opened the door to my house, I noticed a couple of things. The TV weren't on, the house was silent and there was only one light on. I walked towards the living room feeling kinda scared. I wondered what she wanted to say or do. "Hi mum." I said. Trying to beg friend. "Hmmm." She replied. I sat down away from her trying to make sure that if she was about to thump me she would have some distance to cover and I would have more time to run. "What have you done to your hair?" "I erm, its not permanent." I replied. "Hmm," she replied once again looking up at the ceiling. "You have finished your GCSE's and haven't got a JOB." "Erm, well there aint no jobs about..." "Don't bullshit me!" Rah, she was on it. "I'm not bullshitting you." "How dare you swear in my house. Are you mad?" she exclaimed. Straining on the word "mad". It was funny watching her switch but I also had to watch out for myself she was likely to dash anything at me. "Sorry." I muttered trying to sound remorseful. "So, the job." "I'll look around for one." She nodded and switched on the T.v. called someone and forgot all about me. Wow. I went upstairs to find them sleeping. I decided to join the movement. I got undressed had a quick shower, creamed and wore De-Andre's top he left behind one time and went to bed. The sound of my door shutting woke me up. I groaned but remained where I was. I was feeling too lazy and tired to move. I was falling back into sleep when someone opened my door with so much power it made me jump. "Wake up I'm going out in a bit." I sighed. I was so damn angry because my sleep had just been cut short. "Why?" I asked trying not to sound how I felt. "Why what?" "Ermm are you going out?" She looked at me for a long time walked to my windows and pushed the curtains aside then started talking. The bright light hit my eyes which made me close them. "Why! Why am I going out? Did I ask you to have children? You have the decency to ask me such a question. Just because you have children does not mean my life is over. I'm still young." She exclaimed before exiting my room then slamming the door. I couldn't really argue with her on anything because she was actually right and had helped me a lot with the twins. I was about to go back to sleep when she opened my door. "Do not even think about it! You've got 30minutes to get ready otherwise you will struggle. I have already bathed and fed them so hurry." "Aww, than-" she slammed the door before I could even say thank you. Wow. She weren't playing about she was on it. I lazily got up from the bed and got ready. Exactly 30minutes later I was ready and she slammed the door. "Wow." She weren't messing about this week. I was bored and the twins were sleeping. I decided to call DeAndre. His phone rang but no-one picked up. I cut the line and sat down to watch anything that was on t.v. I was so bored. I was about to doze of myself when my phone went off. It was De-Andre. "Hello?" I asked. "Yeh, sorry about that Desire put my phone on silent and hid it somewhere since yesterday. I found it a couple of hours ago but it was dead." "O, okay." "Why did you call? Do you need something?" "I need a lot of things." He laughed on the phone. "Hold on a sec." I waited. In the background I could hear him telling them to get ready. Then loud footsteps. "Yeh, here again." "Erm have you told your children that they have a brother and a sister?" I asked because I was worried that they would get confused or something. "Not yet. I'm telling them soon." "How soon?" "After they get dressed." "Rah! That soon?" "Yeh that soon. Why is there a problem?" "O no, I'm just shocked." "O, so what you doing now babes?" I laughed at the "babes". "I'm just bored. My mum went out and left me with two sleeping children and nothing to do." "Can I come over?" "No you cant your banned." He laughed. "De-Andre what a stupid question to ask me. Can I come over? What the hell man." He laughed harder. "Ok, I'm on my way." "Bye love." "Love you." I locked off in shock. He had never said expressed any emotions on the phone. Wow, but then again there's always a first time for everything. I was about to sleep again when the baby monitor went off. I took a big sigh and run up the stairs. I got up there to see two cute faces smiling at me with their faces covered in tears. "So, who wants what?" I asked smiling at their cute faces. It was kinda hard to be annoyed when their laughing and smiling at you because they were so cute and reminded me of De-Andre. I balanced two babies on my arms and climbed down the stairs carefully and scared that they would drop. They obviously didn't seem to notice this. We finally got to the living room and they took a lie down in their baby chairs. I took them both to the kitchen and started making food. I was tired and it weren't even the middle of the day yet. Being a mother was tiring but true say, I don' regret getting pregnant. They were the best thing that ever happened in my life. It's a feeling of determination everyday because they had their whole lives ahead of them and I had to live for as long as possible in order to see that. It felt nice having a real reason to actually live and enjoy life. Not saying life weren't being enjoyed in the first place. It was just a great feeling. I was about to feed Leesha when the door bell rang. "Shit, wait here I'm coming back." I said to them while running out of the kitchen. I quickly opened the door and started laughing. I clocked what I said to them and wondered where they would go if they were to move. In front of me was Desire and Destiny and De-Andre. "Hello, come in." I said running back to the crying in the kitchen. I picked up Leesha and tried to hush up Lil De. De-Andre walked through the door and his eyes diverted to his dad and he started smiling. The child was a actor. De-Andre picked him up and they started playing about. Desire and Destiny walked through my door looking cute. I looked at them and then at De then at my twins and started laughing. They were all wearing blue. It looked really cute but I had to laugh because it looked like someone had planned it. "Daddy is that them?" Desire asked creeping behind her dad. "Fo'sho." In my head I was thinking what kind of English is that but I chose not to comment. She asked to hold Leesha. "After I finish feeding her you can." "Umm. Ite then ima wait then." She replied. Destiny's eyes were glued to her dads and they looked like they were having a telepathic war. "Can I?" "Ask Rayne." "Don't ask Rayne me, its their brothers and sisters you think I'm gonna stop them from holding them?" He started grinning and handed Lil De to Destiny. Destiny was

really small for her age so she looked really cute as she held him. De-Andre guided her to my living room and Desire stayed behind watching me feed Leesha. I felt kinda nervous still. I felt like this little girl was scrutinizing me big time. Then she spoke. "Damn, that baby sure is cute." I tried not to laugh. She was hardly a grown up herself. "Thank you Desire." "Sooo, when you and daddy gonna get married?" I took the deepest breath ever. "P-Pardon?" "Married, you know cah I want to be a bridesmaid. Damn, all those nice dresses." I really had to hold my laughter. This girl was all that. I decided to change the subject and found myself laughing even more. "Desire." "No, please cum'on call me Sire." I giggled and agreed. "So, Sire, have you got a man?" I was expecting a no or for her to look outraged and I got a shocking answer which made me want to laugh. "Naw," "O go-" "I got boyfriends." "W-w-what? Does your daddy know?" "Hell no!" she came closer to me and took a seat on the closest chair. "He's a playa himself so I'm gon be one fo'sure." I started laughing and she giggled. "Are you sure your seven?" "Six!" "Six, sorry boo boo." She started grinning bare teeth at me. I actually had a conversation with this little girl. She was 6 and she could hold an interesting adult conversation. "Who's you favourite singer Sire?" "Trey Songz, that homie wow..." she trailed off and I saw her face go dreamy. "Daddy took me to go see him and he hugged me and kissed my cheek. Singed my shirt. How many people can say that huh?" I took a deep breath to hold in my laugh. De-Andre really had a way of making things happen for everyone. "Your daddy loves you loads doesn't he?" "Yup! And he says it all the time and kisses my cheek." "Awww..." "Can I hold her now? She reminds me of me when I was growing up" This time I laughed and she laughed with me. Her dimples showing on her cute face. She was one of those children you would see and go back to look at because they were so beautiful. But then again, De-Andre was one of those men you would see and go back to ask for his number. He was one of those people you would see and forget to breathe. He was that beautiful and sexy. I gave Leesha to her. They started bussin conversation and I ushered them both to my living room. They were watching Simpsons. I just quietly sat down and watched. I didn't want to disturb anyone. I watched all of them shocked at the fact that he had 4children and hadn't been one of them wastemans that fucked off as soon as soon as a baby came into the equation. I dozed off. The feeling of someone poking me woke me up. I thought it would be Desire but in fact, it was De-Andre. "What man?" I whispered. He grinned at me. I could tell that he was thinking of something. "Everyone's asleep." "Good..." "Very Good." "So..." the kitchen or here." I started laughing and so did he. I looked around to see no-one. "Where is everyone?" "Destiny and Desire are asleep in your room and the little ones are in their palaces." He replied grinning like a school boy who got a sticker. He was so stupid sometimes. "Your so wasted man." I started laughing again. He came and sat next to me. "So, where do you want it?" I started laughing again while he sat grinning at me. I decided to play along. "Erm, where ever you want to put it really." Now it was his turn to laugh. "Damn, Damn, you got me." We both laughed. "But seriously, I do love you... I don't think any words can really express how I feel for you." I was speechless again because he said he loved me. The recognition of that hit me and I realized that I would actually do anything for this guy. "I feel the same about you." "Is that so?" he replied edging closer. "Yeah it is so." "Really?" "Uh-huh." I rested my forehead against his. We were about to kiss when "Daddy what'chu think your doing? I'm too young to see this." I heard him groan and I laughed as I hid my face in his chest. He hugged me. "Who is it?" I whispered. "Destiny shouldn't you be sleeping?" "Daddy, shouldn't you be sleeping aswell." I laughed. "Get yo ass up those stairs." I could tell she weren't moving. I felt him make movement to get upstairs when her footsteps run up the stairs. I started laughing. "That's funny." I said voicing my thoughts. "Its annoying." "But funny, now, can you kiss me?" I asked grinning back at him. "Yeh, lets get back to where we were." We were in the same position as before when I heard giggling. I turned around to see Destiny had gone to wake up Desire they were now laughing and staring at us. I looked at De-Andre. He looked like he was going to kill them and I tried not to laugh. It was silent for a couple of seconds then he spoke. "By the time I finish this sentence and open my eyes I don't want to see your faces here. Now, I'm finishing my sentence." They run up the stairs and you could hear their laughter. He opened his eyes. "I've actually had enough." I laughed. He took out his phone and called someone. I just waited and watched him. He finally got off the phone. "Well..." I asked. "I don't know how to get rid of them. I aint been with you in a while." I clocked what he meant and didn't know whether to laugh or hug him. He looked really confused. I searched for possible options and found a couple. "Dwayne and Jade and Sky..." he looked at me, the time then called someone on his phone. I decided to go to the kitchen. I reached for the orange juice and was about to drink it when I got a phone call. The number showed but I didn't recognize it. "Hello?" "Wag1 sexy." I recognized the voice but couldn't put a name to it. "Erm, sorry about this but who is this?" I asked totally confused. The person on the phone laughed. "I'm your Pharaoh." I started laughing and recognized him immediately. "Geren! How you doing man?" "Fine, just calling to find out how you are." I took a deep breathe and told him what was going on. "Wow, that's deep." He started laughing. "I need to meet those D&D twins, they sound troublesome." I laughed. Then De-Andre came into the kitchen. He started to watch me on the phone while I watched him. "So, what you doing today?" I asked him. "hitting the clubs as usual, finding a chick, one night stand. What more can a brother ask for?" I started laughing. "Playa! Find a chick and stay with her." As soon as I said that De-Andre looked more interested in the conversation because he realized I was talking to a boy. "All the good girls are taken, what more can I do." "Aww, bubi, poor you. " De- Andre looked like he wanted to bat me and I tried not to laugh but it was really funny. "O yh, anyway I called you to invite you to my rave, family party, and disco." I laughed. "I'm turning 21 and plus, I need you to bring some sexy friends for me and my friends." We both laughed. I went to sit on De-Andres lap. At first he looked pissed but allowed me to do so regardless. I kissed his cheek. "Geren, can I call you back babes?" "Yeh sure sweetie is your man there or something?" "You could say that, not happy." He laughed. "You bad girl, ite, bye babe." I locked off and faced De-Andre. He didn't say anything

and I waited. "Geren huh," "Yes, Geren." "Who's Geren?" "My friend." "I see, so you call him bubi." I started laughing. "De-Andre you are officially mad and jealous." "I'm not!" "Baby you are..." "I'm not!" "You are" "I am not jealous or mad." "Ok, look me in the eye and tell me your not jealous." "I'm not- I'm jealous a lil bit." "Haha" "A little tiny bit." "Liar a lot! Your jealous a lot." "I'm not! Is he better than me." I looked at him and he looked like a child. His eyes were pleading and it looked so adorable. "Aww, no he's not better than you. Noones better than you baby." He started grinning again and this time we actually kissed. He decided to take off my trousers. "No, have you forgotten?" "No...but I cant wait any longer." "Wait wait." I replied getting off him to close the kitchen door. "De-Andre you are one crazy fool." I said smiling up at him. He was really tall and I was really short. I jumped on him and he laid me on the table and started properly taking off all my clothes. I was horny and getting more turned on at the fact that we could be caught. "How comes your clothes are still on?" I asked him. He grinned at me and took off his shirt. I stopped and stared and sighed. He had one of those bodies where it looked like it had been sculptured. I ran my hands through my hair and licked my lips. His upper body was banging. I was now in my bra and panties lying on my kitchen table looking at my sexy hubby. I started laughing and he winked and came closer. He started kissing my neck and took off my bra while I took off my panties. "Your turn." I whispered in his ears. He slipped off his shorts and boxers and I watched his dick in amazement. It wow'ed me every single time. "How do you want it?" "I told you already. However you want to give it." He looked at me for a few seconds and scrutinized. He finally decided something. "Ite I got this. Open wide." He smiled and I laughed, until he started sexing my brains out. "Baby try not to make too much noise" he whispered and started kissing me. "I don't make-" I started moaning but he kept kissing me which kept out the noise. He bit my neck and I gasped. "De-Andre- I- I-" I didn't know what to say. Then I heard it. He heard it too. We started putting on our clothes. I couldn't find my bra so I just wacked on my top. After about 10seconds, we were fully dressed and breathing really hard. De-Andre was pissed off and horny and I was wanted to finish what he started. A few seconds later I heard footsteps tread towards the kitchen and I got up to get some more orange juice. The door opened and I could feel De-Andre's anger in the room. I silently laughed. "Daddy!" he remained silent. "Daddy? What's wrong?" I turned around in time to see them both jump on his lap looking at him with concern. Destiny felt his forehead. "He aint got no fever." "Desire, he look mad." "Daddy why you mad for." I watched his face. "Rayne, what's wrong with Daddy?" "I don't know." I lied. Destiny hugged him and he refused to say anything. He looked so pissed off. Then I clocked he was sitting on my bra which Desire saw. "Daddy, what's this?" she asked swinging it in front of his face. I choked on my drink and he looked at me with laughter in his eyes but he refused to laugh. He remained silent. Destiny pulled his cheek and I laughed and pretended to cough. "Rayne you ite?" Desire asked looking concerned. "Yeah fo'sho." I said begging the accent. He spoke. "Go and get your things we going." "But-" "Don't but me. Now!" He half shouted half stated. When they sulkily walked out I had to ask. "Why you leaving?" "Because I'm going to leave them with Sky then I'm coming to pick you up and leave these twins with Dwayne and Jade." He said grinning at me. I laughed. "O, okay then. Now I need to call my mum...do I need to bring a sleeping bag or something?" "Damn right you do." I laughed harder. He kissed my forehead and walked off. I jumped and squealed. I felt so in love it was unbelievable. It's a weird feeling of just loving someone. It wasn't just being with them. It was about feeling and loving them unconditionally. I truly believed my love for him was physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual. It wasn't about sex, although sex played a part it was just the way he talked, laughed, listened and made me laugh with his stupidness. No-one had ever made me feel this way before in my life. I needed and wanted him for as long as I lived. I sat down and decided to cry. Not because I was sad but because I felt so loved. I heard crying and run out of the kitchen. The two little twins had woken up. It was feeding time again. I sometimes wanted to be a baby again. Eat, play, sleep and cry for no reason all day everyday. Good times. I walked into the dim lit room to find it was Leesha crying. "What you want huh?" she still cried and I picked her up and tried to get her back to sleep because I knew she weren't hungry. "Shhh..." I whispered and looked out of my window. Then I felt arms wrap around me. "I'm going now...I'll be back." "Hmm, okay." Leesha smiled. "Aww, she so cute ... kinda like her mom." I half turned around to look at him. "Bye..." "No kiss or hug?" "I cant exactly hug you..." "I'll allow you." He kissed Leesha's forehead and cheek which resulted in a baby laugh. "Daddy loves you." "Wait so daddy don't love me?" I asked. "Daddy loves you sumtin bad which is why you gon get a special present tonight." I laughed. "Peace out homie." "since when did I become your homie?" he asked trying to look hurt. "idiot go man unless you want to meet my dad..." he didn't budge. "Move." Then I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Then a few heads poked out of the door. "Bye Rayne see ya soon." They said in unison. "Bye girls." "Daddy, hurry yo'self up." Desire yelled. He moved. He walked towards the door and stopped. He turned around. So I had to ask. "Are you having withdrawal syndrome?" "I think so." "Awww" He walked back to me and hugged me one last time and left. I was changing nappies when I heard my front door shut. Now, my house seemed so lonely. I was thinking about De-Andre when my phone rang. I answered. "Hello?" "I miss you already." "Awww, same here. Are you driving or at you at home?" "Driving." He laughed. "What's funny?" "They decided that sleep would be better in my car. I laughed. "I still want to finish what we started." He stated as a matter of factly. "Come then." "You know I cant." "Yeah, ha-ha, true say." Now I got even more confused. "Are you british or American?" "Why you ask that?" "Cah, your either saying ite, yo'self or something then you buss out with true say." He started laughing then I heard "Daddy keep quiet." "Sorry sweetie." He replied. His laughter had woken one of them up. "I'll bell you back inna bit yeah?" "No." I replied. He laughed again. "Ok, well I'm gonna stay on the phone and all your gonna hear is my breathing ite?" "Yh, I don't mind." He sighed then chuckled. "Please lemme call you back in like 5minutes." "No. Stay on the phone." I demanded. He

laughed again. "Rayne your not very demanding." He said sarcastically. "I know, I know." "Baby lemme call you back, please." "I'm giving you 2minutes." He laughed. "Damn, ite bye." "Bye who?" "Bye Rayne..." "O, so is that how it is yeah?" He laughed. "Bye sexy." "So I'm just sexy?" "Bye my love." "But your children are your love's too." "Ite, damn bye my future wife to be." I giggled down the line. "O, so your happy I said that huh?" "No, I was just laughing." "Liar." "Get off my line then." "No, now I don't want to." "Ok, fine, but I want you to get off my line." "I refuse." "Fine then I'll lock off." "You wouldn't dare...and if you do...you wont get nuttin tonight." Now that was a dilemma. He laughed down my line because I was lost for words. I didn't know exactly what to do or say. "Baby you still there?" "Er, yeah just you know , yeah." He laughed harder. I was now getting kinda pissed off. "Okay De-Andre could you please call me back. Leesha's crying." I lied. "Uh-huh, put her on the line." "What? No, have you heard of radiation, no way bye my love kisses." I said and quickly locked off. I went into my bedroom and decided to hit my laptop because it had been a long time since I saw Google. I turned it on and waited for a bit for it to load. I went on Google and stopped at the search bar. I really did not have any use for computers. I went on YouTube looking for any new music. This continued for about 30minutes. I found Single ladies by Beyonce, Get up by 50cent, Ne-Yo mad. Brick and Lace love is wicked is a tune that was in my head. I was humming along to it when my phone went off. I knew who it was so I let it ring longer than usual. "Hello?" "Why did you take so long to answer the phone?" he asked. "Because I'm busy inih..." "Busy with what?" he asked sounding kinda vex. I smiled. "De-Andre chillax I was just talking to a breh." I lied wanting to see his reaction. "Well, what you do- wait did you just say a breh?" he asked trying to sound innocent. "Yeh baby." "Skeen, who is he?" "Just a breh I know that you don't know." "But I want to know him." He said. I laughed. "I'm lying man calm down." "I am calm." "Liar but ok, why you ringing my line?" "To ask if you want to hit the clubs with me." "Erm, lets see, I'm looking after YOUR children...what? You expect me to leave them?" "Damn, wit yo hot head. I was gonna say you leave them with Clara." "O, erm, shame, you told her?" "Well, its not exactly a secret." I didn't reply to that. "So should I get ready?" "Yeah, I'm coming to pick them up and take them to Sky's." "Why Sky?" I asked confused. "Clara is staying with Sky." "O, skeen. Erm I'm gonna get them ready now. Don't blame me if they cry their eyes out." He laughed again. 'Baby, you worry too much. Ima call you ina bit bye." "I don't worry. Bye." I said locking off the phone. I decided to jam and let him come do all the hard work. Since everyone was sleeping, I decided to take a quick shower. I finished just in time to hear my doorbell ring. "O shit." The noise could wake the twins up. I quickly grabbed a towel and run down my stairs and opened the door and run back upstairs cah I was now cold. I dried myself and started creaming. Then I clocked. I hadn't even looked at the person behind the door. I immediately got scared and grabbed the nearest weapon. My shoe. I wore my robe and headed downstairs scared shitless. It was silent. I held tighter to the shoe and headed towards my living room. The door was closed. I took a deep breath and opened it. "Argh!" I screamed. He started laughing at me. I put my hand on my heart trying to calm myself. "I really don't understand how someone can open the door to a complete Stanger like me." "Wasteman. I was cold." He came to hug me and it felt good. "I was. I aint now." I replied trying to pull away from him. Playing hard to get. "O, so that's how it is?" "How what bubi?" "Man cant even get a hug." "Its just I'm all wet." I replied emphasizing the word "wet". I watched his face go a bit more serious. "o, well, lemme dry you off then." "Nah baby I got it." "Nah, I wanna help." He replied moving closer. I smiled at him and opened the robe. We started kissing. "Priceless, that feels nice..." "What?" "O shit." I looked up at to see De-Andre screwing me. "Wait Priceless..." "I'm sorry I didn't mean to-I don't even know why I said that. I'm so sorry." I said feeling so wasted. I really did not know why the hell I called De-Andre Priceless. "Where you thinking about him?" he asked. After a few minutes of silence. "No I was not." "So why did you say his name?" "I DON'T KNOW." I replied angry with myself. I decided to go upstairs cah I had killed the mood big time. "Where you going?" "To bed." "Why?" "Because I said his name and your probably thinking that I was thinking about him which I wasn't and you probably don't believe me and think I'm still cheating so I'm basically going to cry myself to sleep." I replied back. He didn't say anything just looked at me and I looked back finding it hard to look away. He was hypnotizing me. "What I don't understand is why you said his name." "I told YOU! I don't know. I didn't mean to. Why are you over-reacting?" "Why?" "Yeah why." "If I were to be kissing you and said someone else's name, you would be fine with it and let me continue?" he asked. "Of course not. I would ask questions." "Ok, so if I had cheated on you before and decided to say another girl's name to top it off while we were kissing what would you do?" "Question you and throw you out of m-" I realized what he was getting at and stopped midway through my sentence. He had a point. "Okay, I'm sorry about saying his name. You can go if you want to. I realize that I don't deserve you after all the things I have done to you and I realize that you must be feeling hurt and betrayed that after all the drama I still say his name. I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart and I just want you to know that I really didn't mean to hurt you. I love you with all my heart and soul and I understand and completely agree with whatever you decide to do because I brought it on myself." I said. I felt really bad and I looked at him. Waiting for him to walk out but he remained where he was. Now I was confused. I didn't know whether he was just jamming there or was thinking. "Speak to me please" Silence. I walked slowly towards him and put my hand on his face. He didn't move. He continued to stare at me and I continued to stare at his sexy black eyes. "I love you Rayne." "I love you too." I quickly replied. Now I waited for the big but. I knew some bad news was coming my way. I finally realized for the first time since the whole Priceless issue how stupid I had been. I didn't deserve to be with him because he had put up with so much bullshit from me and yet he took me back. Then I fuck everything up again. I started crying. The tears were just falling and I watched him watching me. "Baby why you crying?" "Because I put you through so much and you take me back then I fuck everything up again. I'm really sorry bubi I'm so sorry." I

whispered. He run his hands through my hair and kissed my forehead. "Its okay. Love is blind remember that." "What's that supposed to mean?" "It means that you could fuck 100man and I would still stay with you. I love you and I want to marry you. I want you to be my wife till I cant fuck anymore. I want you to be my wife until my very last breath. I want to be with you until the end of time." I started crying more. "I dunno what to say to that. I'm sorry." "Stop apologizing. I know your sorry and I forgive you. Its just gonna have to take me a while to forget so just bear with me. Can you do that baby?" he asked. I nodded like a little school child. He kissed my forehead. "Now, go get the twins we need to go in the next couple minutes. Sky wants them." I didn't budge because his eyes were wandering somewhere and I was wondering where. Then I saw his face getting serious. I could tell he was getting horny but I didn't know what exactly was turning him on. I then realized my robe was still open. I quickly closed it and he looked at me and frowned which made me laugh. "Aww, allow me. All I'm doing is looking." "Well, you've seen enough." I replied heading up the stairs. Happy that we had cleared the air. But at the back of my head what I said replayed in my head over and over again. I quickly got everything ready. He looked after the twins while I got dressed. I was about to put on a mini skirt when I saw his screw. "What?" I asked. "I should be the only person seeing that." He replied. I laughed in my head and decided to wear something more "suitable." "Is this ok for you your highness?" I asked when I finished. Taking the piss. He nodded in approval. "The shirt..." "No, I'm not taking it off man its hot!" He looked displeased but satisfied regardless. We all walked out and went into his car. Within a couple of minutes we were at Sky's house. I had never been there before. We went inside and jammed for a bit before the twins dozed off and Sky literally threw us out. We got back in De-Andre's car. I was hesitant to get in and he clocked. "What's wrong?" he asked. "The twins. I miss them already." He came over to my side and hugged me. He smelled so damn nice. I inhaled in his scent. "Their in safe hands." "Yeh I know, but I just miss them." "Their asleep and I'm sure Sky will call us if there's a problem." I nodded and he kissed my forehead. We got into the car and he started playing slow jams really loud. There was a lot of sexual tension in the air because all the tunes he was playing were sexing tunes and we were both getting horny. We finally made it there and there was a long queue and I got worried. I weren't planning on waiting there that long with my 4inch heels on such a humid day. He got out of his car and I saw all the girls look his way. I started screwing. He saw me and clocked what was happening. He started laughing and came my way and gave me a fat hug. He smelt really nice. "You smell nice." I commented. "Yeah, you too baby." He put his arm around my waist and he headed straight for the door. I started to pull him back but because he was so damn strong I don't think he noticed my motives. He spudded the bouncer and the door opened for him. "Welcome to Purple Kisses." The bouncer yelled to me because of all the music. I smiled and nodded at him. I was amazed when I walked in. Everything looked purple. The lights were purple and everything had a purple glow to it. I felt at home since the colour I was wearing was close to purple. Violet! I felt De-Andre's grip around me tighten. He ushered me through the crowd. We headed to the bar because I wanted to get some sprite. I was staying of the alcohol because I didn't want to disgrace myself. He got himself some Hennessy and I watched him drown it. I was kinda shocked because I had never seen him drink before. He clocked the surprise on my face and laughed again. I watched in silence as he spudded his brehs and buss convo with certain girls he knew. I didn't mind but some were just pissing me off. I could tell that some of them liked him and what made it worse was the fact that they saw me next to him and his arm around me and he had introduced me as his girl but yet, they still tried it. We danced for a bit and I got tired and decided to sit down. This was also partly due to the fact that he was making me horny. We sat down and we were laughing at certain couples who were in their element when he stopped laughing . I wondered why. I looked in his direction and saw the tension. Suddenly, the heat in the room rose by a couple of degrees. It was Priceless. De-Andre was screwing him with feeling! Surprisingly Priceless screwed back. I held De-Andre's hand and I felt him tense. I could tell he was about to switch. I grabbed his arm and tried to pull him towards the exit. He didn't budge. "Please De, don't do anything." I pleaded. He didn't seem to hear me. He gently grabbed my waist and led me through a couple of people and to a back exit. "Stay back." he ordered. I was wondering what be was talking about when I saw Priceless come out with a bag of man. I took the deepest breath ever. "You were saying?" Priceless asked. "Nuffin much, just don't look my direction." I saw more man run behind Priceless to back him. They were behind him and he was in front they looked scary and I was scared. "Oi, aint that Price?" I heard someone say. "Yeah bossman it is yah know." A reply followed. Soon, there were behind him backing him. I looked at De-Andre he did not looked scared at all. Which scared me more. He looked angry. He was clenching his jaw and tightening his fists. Sexy but scary. Priceless looked at me with a blank face and I looked back expecting to feel something for him. Nothing. I didn't see anything there anymore. I cared about him as a friend but that "love" I had for him was gone. De-Andre drew out for something in his pocket. It was a phone. He belled a number, gave his directions and locked off. "Gas him Price!" I heard someone shout. I was getting ready to fight cah there weren't no way my man was getting killed. I took off my heels and earrings. He looked at me with a baffed expression. I just smiled and he smiled back. "Oi, check this, his chick wants to rock out too fam!" They all stared at me. I had to reply. "yeah, so? If its going down I'm involved cah certain mans." I said looking in Price's direction. "Are acting up." Priceless walked up to De-Andre and De approached him aswell. Soon, they were eye to eye just glaring at each other. De took off his Adidas summer jacket and dropped it on the floor. It looked like something from a movie. Just several tinted out black cars parked on the side and I saw "MANDEM" jump out. I was confused then I clocked that De-Andre had called them. I saw someone tuck in a strap on in their shorts. Then Price's people decided to make them aware that they were loaded aswell. "Aint this bitch aint on safety either." A light skinned older exclaimed. Certain heads cocked their straps. I got scared. I didn't want to die that early but then again I weren't backing down from whatever was coming because he

was my man and whatever he was doing I was down. I watched in amazement as De's "peoples" walked through Price's. It was so tense. I had a feeling someone was going to die and I didn't want that to happen. I hated the fact that this stupidness was all over me. But then again, it weren't my fault that they were both acting like babies. De-Andre coulda been in the wrong but as he nicely put it, "Love is blind." I decided to try calm Priceless down. "Price..." I called. De looked at me confused but didn't say anything. I think he was waiting for what I was going to do or say. I walked up to him bare foot and De backed away. "Priceless..." "Don't be saying my name you fucking dickhead. Sket, you think I never heard about what you were doing after me." The African side of me came out. "Ey, who the fuck do you think your talking to you like that? You must be mad cah dun kno no you fucked my pussy too and I know you enjoyed it. So, I'm a sket, who cares and loves her children. At least De knows his baby mother aint a fucking cracked up doped up bitch who fucks everyone in her cousins estate to get high." I saw him switching but I didn't care. He didn't have ANY right to be calling me names. "It takes one to know one alie doh." He replied. I laughed. "O, so like you knew that Rayne couldn't be yours and that she fucked Romel and that she fucked your yungah cousin and that she tried to move to your uncle. Funny, how I'm the sket and Mandy's not?" "Oi, bitch fuck off to your ting inih." He lifted his hand and De-Andre came in. "Don't fucking call my wife a bitch and I know you aint lifting your finger at her." Someone shouted "greasy talk, greasy talk." I laughed cah the way it came out was really funny. It loosened up the situation abit because the mandem started creasing hardcore. But two people remained serious and kept looking at each other. Suddenly, Priceless gave De a punch so hard that I coulda swore I heard his jaw click. One of De's breh's called Rage jumped in and gave Priceless a fat upper cut to the jaw. "Leave it Rage leave it." I heard De shout. But it was too late. Immediately after that bare heads jumped in and a big brawl started. Punches were being thrown in every direction and I couldn't see De anywhere. Until I saw one next try strangle my man. I run up cautiously and smacked his head with the bottom of my heel and kicked him. Before he could punch me De-Andre broke his jaw. Literally. The punch the guy received sent shivers to my spine. Punches were being thrown in every direction. De looked happy just punching everyone but I knew he was looking for Priceless. "Duck" I heard. I ducked just in time for a punch to come flying over me but I got hit in my head which meant I ended up with a fat headache. I was about to conk someone in their head when I heard the sirens. The way certain man dusted woulda made Usian Bolt blush. Someone gripped my arm and dragged me towards a car. I was about to scream when I saw sexy black eyes in the car. I got in the back of the blacked out GTI and looked back at the floor and saw blood and shit people them had left behind. "Rah, Rayne I never knew you were like that!" Rage exclaimed. "Like what?" I asked baffled. "Did you see the way she hit Stormer in the head with the heel?" he asked De and the two other brehs in the car next to me. "Swear down I want a girl like that." "Like what?" I asked once again. "Ride or die man. Any girl that stays there to back her man is what I classify a true girl blad." I started blushing. Not because of what he said but because of De-Andres response to what he said. "Yeh, she's my ride or die. Future wife and baby mother." "Greasy greasy!" Fumez replied. We all started laughing as the sirens went past our car. As Rage was driving the car he decided to play Ghetto Don't phone me. We all started skanking in the car. "So we aint going clubbin any more?" "Who said that?" De asked with a smile on his face. I clocked his lip was bleeding. "Aww baby your lip." I cooed. "Allow us man! Man aint got his girl close and you guys are going hard on this love ting." I started laughing but moved to kiss him still. "Ahh shit! We cant look away arrr roll down the windows!" I knew it was Fumez buh I weren't hearing no-one except for De. After a couple of minutes we stopped and we all started bussin convo again. We got to another club and they got out. I was about to follow when De-Andre gave me that "don't move" eye. I stayed were I was and Rage left the keys in the car. De got into the driving seat and I moved into the passenger seat and said bye to the rest of the bunch. Fumez winked at me but I didn't understand what the wink meant. Until 15minutes later when I was sitting on De-Andre's lap on the driving seat with my bumper in the air and him taking off all my clothes. My bum pushed the car horn and he started laughing really hard. I watched the dimples in his face. This motherfucker was too peng! "See how big your bum is." "See how big your dick is." "Nah I don't!" he replied in excitement. "But do you want to feel how big it is?" He asked. "Do you even have to ask?" I replied. He pushed the seat back and I helped him take off his clothes. "De, what if someone see's us?" "Well, lucky them because you have one hell of a body." I laughed and kissed him. I looked into his eyes and thought about how much I loved him!

A couple of weeks had passed since that last encounter with Priceless. I was happy but worried. I knew something was wrong but didn't do anything to try and fix it. I couldn't. I was really worried and was in De's bedroom when I decided to tell him "Andre?" "Mhhhmm?" he questioned. "There's something you should know..." He immediately focused on me and his looked concerned. "Good or bad?" "Both." "Wow!" he exclaimed with a slight chuckle. "It might take me long to come out with it so your gonna have to wait." He came closer and pulled me to him. "I have time." I took a deep breath and walked away facing the window. I didn't know how to feel or react. This was just unbelievable for and I wondered what he would do. "Ray?" He asked. I could somehow see his reflection from the window and he had a worried face. He had his hands in his pockets and was looking at me. "Well, erm, De-Andre..." "Rayne." "De-Andre." "Rayne." "De-And-" "Tell me man!" I jumped. "I'm sorry." He said looking sorry. "Its ok. I just erm didn't." I replied chuckling to myself. I decided to say it. I turned around looked at him closed my eyes and blurted it out. "IM PREGNANT!" Silence. He looked at me and didn't say anything. I started biting my fingers because I was so nervous. Then I started

playing with my hair. "Talk man!" "Speechless." He replied. "So what do you want me to do?" I asked. Honestly baffled. My mum was going to go mad! My dad was guaranteed to strangle De-Andre and the rest of my family I was sure would be egging his house every 12hours until the baby was born. "Wow...again." He replied. Almost talking to himself. I walked over to his bed and dropped on it in defeat. After about 5mins he started talking. "I'm happy." "You are?" I asked in complete shock. "Yeah I am. We weren't looking to have another but hey! I'm cool wit it." "You are?" "Yeah fo'sho." "You are?" I asked again. In complete shock. "Yeah! Stop stressin'" He replied again. "My mum!" "Damn!" "Yeah! She is going to kill me! I'm going to college in 2months and now this! I don't need this!" I said in frustration. "So wot'chu sayin then?" He asked looking at me with mixed emotions in his black eyes. "I don't know!" I replied. "So you sayin you don't want this baby then Rayne?" "No, Yes, No, Yes I do." "Well, you don't seem to be sure bout it. That's for damn sure." "No I mean I want the baby but I don't want not to go back to college for another year." "Wait, I don't think I'm hearing right. You want to kill my baby?" he asked getting angry. "No I don't. Its mine too!" I retorted trying to find a reason to justify what I was saying but I couldn't. "Ok, Rayne explain to me exactly, in English, what your trying to tell me." " I want this baby but I don't know if I'm ready." "You weren't ready for the twins and look how good you've been." "That was a one off doh." "Excuse me?" "I mean, I didn't mean to." "So you meant to this time?" he asked looking baffled. "No! But I knew I would!" "And you knew this because..." "All them times you ...you know. But I... you know, because it felt nice..." I said kinda feeling hot in the process. I saw the small smile he tried to hide. "What's so funny De?" "Nothin." He replied. Trying not to laugh. I didn't see anything funny about it. "So why I see a smile on your face?" "I'm happy." "Uh-huh, happy..." "Yeah...you know." I was about to reply when I clocked he was mocking me. My jaw dropped and he started laughing. He literally dropped on the floor with laughter. I sneaked away unnoticed and got some cold water in a glass. I walked up to his laughing body. "Laugh at this!" I said before throwing the water on him and running to the bathroom. "Argh! Rayne!" he shouted before chasing me. "Arrrrr!" I screamed with laughter. He caught up with me and picked me up into the bathroom. "Take a shower." He whispered in my ear before gently pushing me in the shower and turning on the cold water. "I tried to get out but he held me there. "Say sorry." "Sorry!" I said immediately. At first nothing happened then the water started getting hot and De's cheeks kinda looked red. "O my days! You're a horny freak! I cant believe you!" "What?" he asked trying to sound innocent. "De-Andre your eyes are on my breast cah my top has gone see through!" I shouted at him. He grinned and started taking off his clothes. "You cant do th-" My last words before he took my breath away with his beautiful lips. I decided to resist him just this one time. I didn't feel right for some weird reason. I pushed him away. He looked confused. "Did I do something?" he asked looking confused. "No its not you its me." "Why is it that whenever a girl tells me that she dumps me? " "But I'm not any girl from your past doh! I'm your present." Looking directly into his eyes. "And your future." He smiled. "Get out of those wet clothes before you get ill... we wouldn't want that would we?" he winked at me. I laughed and took off my clothes. We somehow managed to get in his bed and started watching "Soul Food." I was lost in the movie when DeAndre asked a random question. "So are you going to tell your mom?" "No. Not yet. I want her to find out for herself." I said very certain of my decision. "Rayne are you planning on telling anyone?" "No!" I replied instantly. No one needed too know just yet. "What they don't know wont kill; them." "Your choice. I'm just stand ng by it." "That's all I want from you." I

said kissing his cheek and snuggling up closer to him. I started watching the movie again but from the corner of my eye I could see him staring at me...

Nearly three months after I told De-Andre I was pregnant and the 2nd week of college I started feeling some dangerous back pains but didn't tell anyone. College was going good but too many people had tried to move to me and no one had clocked I was pregnant. I had jumped from size 8/10 to 12/14. My mumzy thought it was just me eating more food and looking healthy. My breasts were slightly larger which I loved and I was feeling happy all the time! My GCSE's had come and I did fantastically well which was why I got to spend a week in Alton Towers with my family! 10GCSE'S at A-A*'s. This shocked me but not Jade or anyone else. Jade to me flopped but was happy 5c's 3d's and 2f's. She was happy so I was happy for her. Dwayne- did good. Getting 4A's and the rest C's and B's. I was jammin in my Sociology class when I felt some one watching me. I turned around to one breh called Jason. Nice looking but I weren't looking. "Rayne you cool?" "Yeah...I'm good...hows life?" I asked. Not really caring but trying to nice anyway. "O, you know this that, making paper." You so don't impress me. I thought to myself. He came closer and I tensed feeling something was not right. "So I heard you got twins?" "Yes and?" "Nuffin inih, I could take good care of them..." "-" I stared at him waiting for him to elaborate on what he meant. "Man could help you out." "I don't know if you know but I'm still with my babies father." He looked shocked. "Wait... you thought I was a lash and dash?" He didn't answer. I was surprisingly finding it funny. "Nah my baby aint like that...he actually stuck with me so yeah." "O my bad. I've got to go to my lesson." He said rushing off. "But its lunch doh Jason." "Yeah-" he said rushing off. I heard laughing and saw my new found friend Valentine buss a corner. She was half Nigerian and half Italian. I always managed to cuss her about her weird cross breed mix. "My Nitalian!" I shouted and went to hug her. "He musta felt like a prick man!" she laughed. "Kmt, try come telling me that you can replace De-Andre." "He aint even sexy like De." I looked at her and she got embarrassed. "So you finally admit he is." I laughed. "I wish I had a man like that." A plan went off in my head and I smiled. "Your sure yeah?" "Course man. I'm tired off these lil youts man. I need more than sex man." "Your speaking like your 26 not 16." We both started laughing and walked out of the Sociology class. Incredibly, Valentine and I had managed to pick the same A-Levels. So our last lesson together was English Lang and Lit. We sat through most of the lesson not listening to anything because we were the only ones that had done the coursework and understood exactly what Shakespeare was talking about. "He's starin at you." Tine whispered to me. I looked over to see Jordon staring at me. Once again he was nice looking but I weren't looking. He smiled at me and I smiled back. I'd only known him for 2weeks but he was a really nice person. "Fuck man! What do these mans want! What do they keep looking at?" "You." She replied simply. "Why?" "Rayne, have you seen you in the mirror?" "Yeah, have you seen you in the mirror?" "Yeah, but Rayne your beautiful." If black people can blush, I started blushing. "Aww bubi!" I replied getting up to hug her. "Ahem!" My teacher stated boldly. I clocked I was still in lesson and I saw Jordon smile and Tine laugh. The lesson was over and done with and my baby called me.

"Andre!" "Sexy..." "-" "O yeah, I'm around your college and I was calling to ask whether you need a lift?" "Yeah, I do. How far away are you?" "5minutes..." "Ok, I'll come out to meet you." "Ok. Bye for now." I laughed and locked off. "February do want a lift?" I asked Valentine. "What did you just call me!?" she shouted in mock horror. "Narfin, Narfin!" I exaggerated in mock Italian. We both laughed. "A lift?" "Yeah De-Andre is picking me up." "O so now I get to see him in the flesh and not pictures! I wonder..." We both giggled like little school girls as we walked down the corridor. "Ouch!" I hailed in pain. "Rayne you ok? Whats wrong?" she asked looking concerned. "My back that's all." "Hmmm, go hospital to check it out. It could be something serious you don't want to risk anything do you now?" "No mum!" I replied still in pain. I decided to play it off and pretend I was fine when really I wasn't. By the time we got outside the pain had subsided and I saw a couple of girls getting excited. I wondered why and Valentine voiced my thoughts. We walked on and my phone went off. #Sing badda badda badda # I let the tune go on for a bit while me and my girl did our skankin ting! Sing for me remix was a club banger. "Yes baby?" "I'm at your school erm college" I laughed. "Where exactly?" "Damn homie, where all them girls be looking." He exclaimed. I could tell he was joking but still I didn't like other chicks eyeing up my man sometimes. He was mine. We walked pass and I saw him across the road looking like a model from Vogue. Sometimes I had to blink cah at times my life didn't seem real. After everything I did he was still with me and we were going strong. "Come meet him." I said to her. "He looks..." "I know." I said almost in a dream aswell. He started to cross the road anyway. "Don't bother! He's coming anyway." Bare heads were staring at him. Both male and female. For some weird reason we were wearing contrast colours. He was wearing all white and I was wearing all black. My hair had come back to normal. To my mothers great pleasure. He came up to me with a twinkle in his eye. I started laughing. He looked mischievous. I kinda started going through my head as to what I had done to him. He looked like he was going to get revenge. "De?" "Baby..." "I'm sorry for whatever I have done wrong." They both started laughing at me. I introduced them to each other and they got along. To my relief! I didn't want my close friend to be hating my baby and vice versa. "Bye Rayne Bye De-Andre." We both waved and the fucker picked me up which lead to me shouting and kicking. "De-Andre stop, people are looking." I whispered. Instead of him stopping, my speech had the opposite effect.

He put me down and pulled me to him and put his lips on mine. I couldn't exactly stop him cah he had me hypnotized! We walked hand in hand back to his spanking new car. I now really and truly didn't care about what people thought. My mum knew, my dad knew, my family and everyone I knew about De-Andre. I had nothing to hide. Except a pregnancy we were both excited about! As soon as we got in the car he started blasting out Young Jeezy. But this time. I knew the lyrics to the song. "De-Andre, why did you kiss me infront of all those people?" "Because I love you." "Liar! Tell me why man." I said poking out my bottom lip and giving him puppy eyes. He looked at me and laughed. I put my hand on his thigh and moved up. I heard his breathing speed up. "Tell me." "Ok Ok." I smiled at him. "A couple of man were staring at you funny." "Well, a couple of chicks were staring at you funny aswell." I replied. He started grinning and I knew he was gonna get bigheaded. "That's cah man-a-badman!" "Skeeen." We both started laughing. "Nah but seriously, I didn't wanna be rude and punch them in their faces so I looked at your lovely face to calm me down. But, mami your labios were looking muy bueno." "What?" I asked completely baffled. "Your lips were looking very good. "O BABY YOU SOUND SEXY SPEAKING SPANISH!" "Gracias." "No Problemo! Jheeez I can speak Spanisho too." He started laughing. I decided to continue. "I can speak Spanisho so wello that I am bueno at ito." "Why you keep adding 'o' to every sentence?" "Cuzo I cano. Jheeez-o." I said flexin my Spanish vocab. "De-Andre, don't mentirosa! Jheeeze." "That's a Spanish word Rayne!" "I know." "How taught you?" "Lil Jon and Pitbull." He started laughing. Then it came again. My back started killing me. "Baby you ok?" "Yes I'm fine." I lied. "Just a bit tired that's all." The rest of the journey was in silence because I was in pain and didn't want to say anything to him. Something didn't feel right and I felt like I was on my period. I got worried. Before I could get upstairs the pain hit me like a ton of bricks. "Arrrrrrrrr!" I screamed in pain. De-Andre came rushing in. "Rayne?" "I'm gonna die." I cried. I was in so much pain. My stomach was hurting me so bad. I heard De-Andre on the phone and that's the last things I remember before I conked out. I woke up to the smell of hospital. Immediately I knew something weren't right but I didn't want to alarm myself. I open my eyes and saw De-Andre staring at me. He looked pissed off. He looked really angry and I wondered why.

Before he could talk, the nurse alerted the doctor that I was awake and he came rushing in. He decided to give it to me hard. "I'm very sorry Miss Nelson but you had a miscarriage." That was the last thing I heard before my heart stopped. The sharp pain in my chest was enough to make me not want to open my eyes. I could her the sound of beeping around me. My brain was too tired to think or even try to figure out what was going on. I knew I was in hospital but I forgot what I was there for. Then it dawned on me. I had lost my baby. I opened my eyes to see De-Andre staring at me looking really worried. "Rayne..." "-" I stared back at him and started crying again. Then the doctor came in. "Rayne you need to calm down otherwise your putting yourself in danger. Your going to start hyperventilating and you'll go into shock so please keep calm." I did as I was told. I felt so empty. I put my hand on my belly and kept silently crying. After a while when the doctor felt I was ok he walked out. "Baby I'm so sorry." He said holding my left hand and kissing it in the process. I just stared into space thinking about my baby. Would it have been a boy or girl? Thoughts like that went through my head over and over again. I fell asleep and woke up to see him still there looking at me. I looked back at him. Blank. "Rayne I love you and please don't beat yourself up about it...maybe it wasn't meant to be." "What you mean it wasn't meant to be! It was my baby!" I screamed at him . He remained silent and kept staring at me. The doctor came in and started to talk to me about the miscarriage.

I wasn't listening until a couple of words registered in my brain. "Miscarriages are very common in Britain...back pains." "What do you mean by back pains?" I asked "Some symptoms of a miscarriage is back pain." "You mean that if I had back pains I would have had a miscarriage?" "Yes but not exactly ..." He explained but I wasn't listening all I was thinking about was the fact that I had killed my own baby. If I went to the doctor when the pains started I wouldn't be in that position. "I started having these back pains a couple of weeks ago... so I killed my baby?" "No No No don't think that doctors can prohibit miscarriages. Its just one of natures secrets. I'm very sorry about your loss" I stayed silent as he walked out. "Baby I'm so sorry" De-Andre said again. I nodded managed a half smile and slept again. I didn't want to be awake and think about it. I woke up I guess a few minutes later and he was still there staring at me. I felt kinda bad about the way I treated him. "De-Andre I love you and I'm sorry" "Its ok..." he replied moving closer. He kissed my forehead and I inhaled his scent. "I wanna go home." I whispered against his chest. "They wanna observe you for a couple more hours baby then we can go home." I nodded. 3Months Later 3months after the miscarriage, I was coping ok. I would wake up in the middle of the night after having

nightmares about the baby. I couldn't sleep and my mum clocked and so did De-Andre when I slept over at his house. It was December and almost everyone was in a bubbly mood. I was still mourning my baby. De-Andre was such a gentleman throughout the whole thing it was unbelievable. I clocked I was being bare selfish he had also lost his baby but never once did he complain about anything. He was always helping me and encouraging me to try get on with my life. To add to the stress, we hadn't had sex in nearly 6months and he hadn't once complained to me about it. It was a week before Christmas and I in Vanlentine's house sitting in her kitchen talking to her about Priceless. I somehow explained what had happened before to her because for some random reason he had chirpsed her the week before and I had found out it him. "Wow, so you fucked him already?" "Erm, sorry to say but yeah..." "Is he good?" I laughed. She was so direct it was amazing. "Yeah, if you like wild spontaneous sex he's the one." "Oh, Rayne your getting me excited man stop!" she said bare jumping up and down. "So where you spending Christmas?" she asked me. "Well, basically I came to this conclusion. I'm gonna spend Christmas day with my family and then on boxing day I'm gonna go shopping with my mum then on the 27th I'm gonna leave the twins with my mum then go jam with De." "No, you mean go fuck with De." She laughed. I didn't reply cah true say I had been sexually starving him and if I were him I would be pissed of with me aswell because what I was doing to him was fuckry. We talked for bare long before she literally kicked me out from high jacking her food. "Bye baby love!" "Rayne don't come back! Lol, violation you dunned my food you fucking cunt." "Lol, I love you too hun!" I walked about London just admiring everywhere. It was a sick place to be. Nah, you actually don't realize how many things there are to do until you actually go out to look. I was wondering what to get De-Andre when I got the perfect idea. I walked into Sainsbury's and bought a jam doughnut for myself and I walked into Debenhams and looked for perfume to get Jade and Valentine. I was getting my mumzy a necklace. I decided I was gonna get Dwayne a necklace aswell. It would say "Dwayne & Rayne bestfriends forever" A bit childish but I liked it. I also got De a dog tag with De-Andre and Leesha's name on it. It was supposed to be a present from them. I also got a locket with their pictures in it. It looked so beautiful I wanted to keep it. I had bare shopping bags on me and I had had fun. With myself. I got home to find the t.v. bare loud on them children's channels and they were watching teletubbies and my mumzy was singing the song aswell I had to laugh cah that accent and that song were not doing it. But regardless I joined in and they were bare grinning teeth. Yessh! My babies had started growing teeth. But it was a nightmare in the night cah they would cry and cry cah it was so painful. Buh the GP gave us some next toothing cream to help sooth the pain. I played with the twins for a bit but then it was bedtime for them. My mum decided to allow me and did the job and I went upstairs and decided to rest on my bed. I woke up to discover it was the next day. I was so tired I had actually slept. I got naked and hopped into bed. It weren't even morning yet. I could still steal some sleep. I was really tired for some weird reason. The rest of the week went in a blur and before I knew it, it was Christmas Eve and I was at home with bare family members and everyone was cooking or doing something. I had to help with the cake and I was working on it with my other cousins. The house was bare live and everyone was bussin bare joke on random stupidness. After the cooking was over, about 15 of us teenagers gathered round the my bedroom cah the women were in the kitchen gossiping and the mandem...our dads, were in the living room getting drunk. The twins were asleep after about an hour of tryna put them to sleep. I swear down, they knew it was Christmas the next day and they just wanted to wait for it. We were bare jamming when someone brought up the topic of De-Andre. They actually brought it up like a subject. I started blushing cah some of the questions were intense. Its one thing telling your friends, but family now yeah, that was something major. Rah. Diana: So you love him? I blushed again and nodded my head. I couldn't help but feel like I was getting tortured. They were all staring at me and cah it was kinda dark all I could see were their eyes. We spend the rest of the night talking about boyfriends and girlfriends. At 12midnight on the dot I got a text from my baby saying Merry Christmas. I replied and send every one on my contact list Merry Christmas aswell. I got bare texts back. Basically, in my fam it was a tradition to see who would get the most texts and I had 24. I was in the lead...for the moment cah my older cousin Shawn was a top player and I expected all his hoes to send him a text. We all waited in silence. I came 2nd in the end. KMFT. He won again for like the 4th year running. I had never come second before so dun kno I had to celebrate by doing the robot. I was doing the robot when bare pillows hit me. "sit down Rayne man ha-ha you cant do it!" "Just I'm Britain Best Dancer! Your hating." The most unexpected thing happened. They all started laughing at me.. Nah- Literally bussin up holding their bellies and shit. I felt like a prick doh still. I sat back down and thought about ways to get them back. Before I realised, it was Christmas Day and the house was bare lively. The adults had a hang over and were still drinking and everyone was opening presents and shit. It was a good

time. We were all jamming in the kitchen cah we were hungry and my mum and aunties were taking the piss. We waited for a bit then they started dishing out the food. I got pushed to the floor my the idiot boy called Shawn who was too fast when it came to food. Argh! After food everyone sat in my living room watching t.v. It was so packed and funny! The twins were bussin their new air forces! My dad went hard. I was smelling nice cah Mummy had bought me perfume and a couple of other people kept checking their wrists cah their watches were doing it. Boxing day, all the girls woke up at 6 and got prepared. It was literally a war so the theme was green. Shopping the day after Christmas was some next WW3 cah everyone was on it. I wore my green combats and camouflage green top and mah close to green crep. I put a camouflage green bandana on my head and wore a green jacket. We all looked sick cah we were all wearing green. No one was wearing ear rings cah once again, it was war. We all laughed at my mum cah she was bussin drop downs and it looked soo funny. My dad and uncles were awake cah they were dropping us off at Lakeside then taking us to west. There were about 6family cars waiting. The men looked pissed off because every year instead of sleeping off their hang over's they had to go shopping. The day was funny. 1st my aunt got involved in an argument with the M&S people about cups, my mumzy buckled on the escalator and Shawn's mum was checking out the shop assistant and her husband clocked. Too funny! When we got home everyone except me started packing. They were going Milton Keyes to a bug Christmas party hosted my Shawn's dad's brother. But, I was going to see my hubby. The twins were going with my mum because she wanted to show them off to everyone that hadn't seen them. At 10'clock at night, they were gone and I was alone in that house it the quietness was killing me. I got dressed filled my bag with a couple of clothes and my essentials and went out of my house. O my God. The cold air made my eyes water and my ears hurt. I got to the bus stop and didn't have to wait long for a bus because one came in like a minute. I said Merry Christmas to the driver and he smiled at me. I smiled back and went to sit down. The bus was literally empty. I was on it for about 15minutes and got off and started walking. I got to his door step and I swear down I had lost weight in that motherfucker. It was so bloody cold every step I took felt like I was walking Everest. I pressed the door bell and waited and waited and waited. I was about to call him when the door opened. I had to fuckin lick my lips! OmyDayz! He musta been in the shower cah he had a towel wrapped around his waist. I jumped on him, wetness and all. "De-Andre, hmm baby you look nice and you smell peng!" "Isit?" "Yup" He closed the door behind him and carried me to his bedroom. "Where's my Christmas present De-Andre." "Your gonna see it soon baby." He grinned. I watched him get dressed and I got really horny and he clocked so he laughed. After he got dressed we jammed in his bedroom for a bit and went down to the kitchen and ate the food he made me. I was just jamming on the sofa eating when he went upstairs. "Where you going?" "Too quickly do something ima be right back boo." Aw, he sounded so hot. His voice was the one! He was now gone for a bit too long and I went upstairs taking my bag in the process. I could tell the lights were off and I could hear music playing. O No I thought to myself. This punk didn't go sleep on me. I opened the door really to cuss him out and was surprised by what I saw. "Awwwwwww De-Andre, that's so romantic" He just grinned and me. There were candles everywhere and they were them scented ones so the room was smelling really nice. There were rose petals everywhere like in the movies, but only, this was my movie. I walked up to him and kissed him on the cheek. Somehow, that kiss on the cheek led to some heavy lipsing and soon his hands were feeling up my bum and ting. I landed on the bed and he got on top of me. "Wait wait." I said stopping him. I hadn't had sex with him since the miscarriage and he thought it just one of those days for me but it wasn't. "De, I wanna give you your Christmas present." He got off me and I walked up to my bag. He had a screw on his face which made me laugh. I took out his present and hid it behind me. "What is it?" he asked getting interested. "Do you really want it?" He nodded and I went closer. I straddled him and looked into his eyes, still holding his present. "Rayne I love you , you know." "I wonder how much more you'll love me when I give you your present." I heard his present in front of me. He started grinning like there was no tomorrow. "O, it's the best thing any one has ever got me." "Do you wana test it out?" I asked. He smiled and got on top of me. I had bought him condoms. He started taking of my clothes and I helped. He kissed me all over. He bit my neck and I tugged off his shirt. His body was so sexy it took my breath away every single time. "Rayne I swear down I love you..." He whispered in my ear. I didn't have time to reply cah he started biting my nipple and I had no option but to bite my lip and close my eyes. "You like that?" he asked referring to what he was doing. I nodded cah I couldn't talk. I had clocked that he was one of them people that liked dirty talking in sex. He took off my trousers and stopped for a minute to check out my panties. "Aww, you wore them for me?" he grinned "Yup." I smiled back Basically, I weren't wearing any.

He started fingering me and moved his lips and tongue everywhere on my body. I was on fire. "O shit De-Andre, omydayz, o baby" "You like that?" "Yeaah baby I do." "Good cah your gonna like this." Before I could even ask, he took off his boxers, and whipped on the condom. I swear that was the fastest move I had ever seen. He had me open my legs wide, like really wide and started fucking the hell out of me. What turned me on even more was his face. Omy... We sexed that way for about 10minutes. Then he did something amazing. He turned into superman and had me on my knee before I clocked I was even there. I didn't have time to get my breath back before I felt him in me. I started gripping on to the bed sheets while he did his thing. See that tune by Ashanti and Ja-Rule Put it on me, that was how my guy was doing the sexing. I was getting into it when he made me turn around and sit on his dick. He grinned at me. "As I said before, I like it when your on top." I couldn't even reply cah my energy was focused on the work I had to do. I started grinding on his piece and he kissed me everywhere. He kissed, licked and sucked everywhere he could reach. He was plainly driving me mad. After our sexual encounter we were lying in the dark jammin in his bed talking about random things when he told me to close my eyes. "Why?" "Rayne you love to ask question shh and close your eyes." He replied kissing my cheek. I closed my eyes and the last thing I saw was him reaching into his trousers pocket. I heard a lot of shuffling before I got told to open my eyes. I did and o wow! "De-Andre wow..." I was actually speechless. "o wow." He was looking at me waiting for me to say something but I couldn't. I was really flabbergasted. "Wow, De..." "Could you say something anything apart from wow." "OmyGod!" "Speak Rayne please, you gotta nigga getting nervous." I laughed at that. "Wait I swear you have to ask first" Basically this guy had bought me a ring and a fat ring at it. It was sparkling in the dark room. It was actually beautiful and I weren't a ring lover. "Ok, Argh! Your so long! Ok. Ok." He said laughed then got on his knees on the bed naked. I had to laugh cah it was so damn random lol. "Rayne, I love you, I love you more than anything in the world...I adore everything about you. My life has never felt so complete..." Tears gathered up in my eyes. It was partly what he was saying but it was also the conviction in his voice and the way he loved at me when he said it. "I've never felt so sure about this and erm, yeah I love you, so Ms Nelson would you marry me?" "Yessss!" I said jumping on him. I was crying and laughing at the same time. I held him tite and he pretended to choke. I had a fat smile on my face. "Put the ring on my finger!" He did and o damn! Soon my name was about to change. I was actually really excited. "Your really excited aren't you?" "Yes! I mean I never thought I would get married...to you! Your so amazing I love you lots and I cant live without you. Till death do us part man! I promise not to fuck it up" "Me too..." he replied. I was still excited 15minutes later. I kept staring at the boom ring and couldn't take my eyes of the damn thing. "Are you planning on telling your folks?" "We aint in America love." I laughed. "Nah I aint telling my folks. My mum will go mad and send the rest of my fam after you...lol...I aint telling them shit." "What if they ask about the ring?" "I'll say Jade, don't worry I'll think of something. I'm not taking this thing of my finger." I said looking at it and holding my finger up to the light. I was getting married. O damn. I couldn't get over it. I had a husband, two kids and an education. I was actually going somewhere in life. I was jamming on his chest playing with his fingers when he asked. "Should I set a date?" I started laughing because I hadn't even thought about it. "Well obviously not this year cah like the mum will go mad. When I turn eighteen. On my eighteenth birthday until then yeah, me and you are engaged baby." I said kissing him on the cheek. "Lovely...just lovely." He said and I laughed. 2months later The most amazing shit happened. My baby; Valentine linked up with Priceless! I was really shocked. She was proper sprung on him and she had him on smash and I mean on smash! She forced him to apologise to me and now we were talking. Him and De-Andre were slowly beginning to talk to Priceless even doh they tried to front like they didn't. Destiny and Desire had returned back to America. I missed them. They were such cute children. My mumzy clocked the ring and didn't say anything expect for "Hmph!" My dad just shook his head and I laughed. They didn't ask. It was a couple of months till the twins birthday and I didn't know what to do. My mum wanted a big huge fat party cah her grandchildren were turning one. And annoyingly they started walking. Leesha nearly died cah she was sucking on a penny which I clocked was a penny a couple of seconds before she swallowed it. I had never been so scared. I started crying and my mum just laughed at me and cussed me and told me to be more careful. De-Andre came to my house frequently and he even helped my dad fix my door! He had met the rest of my fam and we all clocked my auntie checking him out . We all laughed and her and her husband argued again! I was doing good in school and hitting all my predicted grades. Life was going

Ok. But certain girl and man were beginning to piss me off. Firstly, De-Andre's ex called my phone cussin and ting saying how "he's mine" blah blah. I didn't even bother reply and I locked off. I weren't pissed off ; didn't see a reason to be. I trusted him and he trusted me. I'd learnt my lesson and wouldn't do anything to hurt him. Certain man in college had tried to move to me touching me up and ting. I didn't tell Andre cah I knew if I did he would go mad! I didn't want him in jail. Life was going good but there was always something at the back of my mind saying something will go wrong. I got the most amazing call. From the most amazing person. Dwayne! "Hiii baby!" I exclaimed. "So you missed me." he chuckled on the phone. His voice sounded sexy. "Ooo, your voice Dwayne you sound sexy!" "Dun kno! Rayne come link up with me today! Man aint seen his bestfriend in a long time!" " Awww, my love I missed you too. Lets go ice-skating!" "Ite, kl, meet me at the rink in about half an hour or so." "Bye bubi!" I replied getting excited. It was a boring Saturday and I was at home by myself. I hadn't seen DeAndre in a month I missed but I was kl with it. He had "work" and I had college. The twins were in Essex with my mum and dad just enjoying the spring sun. Kinda. I got ready and looked at my hair! Damn it. The red was fading doh still! But the effect it added to my hair was sick. I wore black and green cah I knew for a fact Dwayne would wear that. He loved them colours. I got to the rink and saw him bare smiling at me. I leaned back checked his swag! He was wearing black and green. ARGH! I'm too sick. He was wearing black and green air forces, black combats, black and green Ed Hardy top, and his fresh shape up and AJ coat. "Dwayne baby your looking hot!" He smiled and we hugged. He had brought his own skates. He knew how to skate. He loved it and he loved to make me drop on the ice. "We got in the rink and immediately I got bare stares from girls. He clocked and started laughing bare manz were watching him and I clocked and started laughing. I held on tite to him when we got there cah I was shook of the ice. I was holding on tite to him and he was laughing his arse off. I tried to punch him flopped, leaned back and dropped. He took out his phone and took a picture. "Facebook!" he shouted before skating away. In the process splashing bare ice on me. Bare manz started creasing at me and some next dude helped me out. I dropped so many times and made a couple friends. We decided to trek all the way to Tinsletown to get some Milkshake. On the train we were bare behaving like hooligans. Dwayne tried to draw some old woman and it flopped cah her man came on the train at Kings Cross. Too funny. The train got packed so he decided to sit on. "Your killing me." "Good!" "Dwayne baby please man your hurting me you prick." He laughed and we swapped seats. So I was sitting on him now yh, all of a sudden he started tickling me. I was laughing making bare noise and everyone was looking in my direction. We got to Tinsel Town bought the Milkshakes and as usual Dwayne wanted to hit Nike Town. I shook my head. We went in and he bought me a bag. I hugged him. "Aww, your ballin!" He laughed. We were walking down the street and he had his arms around my waist. Being with him was too sick! I loved him so much. "Dwayne so you and Jade?" "Man I love her you know I proper proper love her. She has me on lock. I swear down. I'd do anything for her." "Awww." "De-Andre?" He asked bare looking in my face and grinning. "Nuffin, its going good. He asked me to marry him..." "Yeah he told me. I was waiting for you to tell me. You think if I didn't know I wouldn't have asked what that fat ring was doing on your finger." I laughed and held him tighter. "Dwayne?" "Yeah." "Lol nuffin. I love you you know" "Yeah I love you toooo!" he replied bare over exaggerating the too. We walked around and explored London for a bit and we started talking about stuff. Mandy (Priceless' mad ex) came in the conversation. "She tried to move to your bredrin on Saturday you know!" "Isit?! What happened? Valentine is rockers if she don't know she bess now from now!" "Yeah, Lol it was bare jokes; I had to stop the fight doh!" "Why?" "Someones earring flew in my Chow Mein! Nah man. It had to stop." I started laughing. "Anyways. This is what happened; Priceless was talking to ur bredrin then he left. I clocked her innih and I was trying to move to her still don't watch that! She's a hottie; anyway then she told me she had a ting blah blah, then I mentioned you then boom! We started getting along then Mandy musta heard bout her and Price innih, out of no where she drags ur bredrin and slams her against them bus shelter thingys. OmyWord, LOL. The most amazing punch ever. Mandy got K.O'd. Nah she punched her so hard she dropped to the floor, LOOL, too jokes." He explained the rest of the story to me and I shook my head mostly in shock but also in laughter. Just cah she was mixed raced; quiet and pretty certain heads were quick to think she was weak. Nah! She could bang a man. Real talk. I looked at the time. "Rahh its 6 already!" "Time flies by when ur having fun." "Truss!" we both laughed. We took train back to the endz and he decided we would go jam at his. Jam we did! Awww. I loved him soo much! "Dwayne..." "Yes?" "Nuffin."

"Lol u goat herder." I started laughing and hugged him. He was the bomb! And he was my bestfriend. A week after Dwayne and my encounter I started having these strange phone calls telling me to stay away from De-Andre. It was always on private and I always picked up. It was starting to piss me off and I talked to Valentine about it. "Well, ask De-Andre, it could be his ex." "but what if he says I'm overreacting blah blah." "Well I don't care tell him, this bitch is tryna scare you." "What if its Mandy?" "Nah she wouldn't even dare." "Trust me when I say she would." We kept talking about this through college and I got really worried. "I'm going toilet quickly yeh." "Bruv I'm leaving you, after we have Mr. Privinzke you want me to be late." I replied walking off. We both laughed. I was looking through my bad for my headphones when someone barged me. "Watch where you going bruv." "Kmt, after it was you that barged me." I looked at her then walked off. Crazy bitch. I hated girls that were over hype for no bloody reason. It weren't needed. "Fuckin slag" I turned back and looked at her. It weren't even worth saying nuffin so I remained quiet and walked to my lesson. I was 2minutes early. I sat down and started reading. Cah that was basically what we had to do for English Lit. The rest of the batch stormed in with the noise and ting. Jheeze. It was kinda annoying so I asked them to shut up. No one took it serious except for this prick, the same fuckin one dat barged me. That was the 1st time I had seen her and she was in my lesson tryna gas to me. I took a deep breath and didn't say anything. She was on my last artery and vein and I knew if she said something I would go mad. Valentine joined the class and lied about having to go to the toilet cah she was vomiting. "Pregnant." One of the boys musta said. Everyone laughed and she gave them some heart churning screws. DAMN! I laughed aswell then the same bitch, quietly but loudly said to Romel sitting beside her "Dunno why she's laughing when her skettiness got her the babies in the 1st place." I closed my eyes and the whole class held their breathe waiting for my reaction. NOTHING. I didn't do shit. For the rest of the lesson she would make innuendo's about or anything I said. If she thought I was a prick, she weren't even ready for the Rowdy Rayne. "Rayne man leave it!" Valentine said tryna keep her voice down cah we were in the library. "No. watch me and her. Who the fuck is she anyway?!" "I dunno she just came! No one knows where from doh! She just dropped." "Yeah, she appeared on earth after hell rejected her." "lol." "Why she's doing ALevels I don't know. Her mental capacity is about -45." Valentine started laughing. I was dead serious and pissed off. I hated when girls tried to move to me cah I was "quiet". Just cah I weren't mad no more didn't mean I couldn't do some damage still. "Wiv her home made weave. " The bitch didn't hear what I said so found a reason to ask really loudly. "WHAT DID U SAY?" The way the librarian shot daggers at her with her stare! I even got shook myself. "Shullup man, anyway lol I said with her home made weave" She started laughing really loud and 1minute later we were outside cah we had been banned from the library. "You dickhead man. Where am I going to revise now ?" She laughed and kept laughing. That bitch was still in my head pissing me off, I didn't even know who she was and she was causing me hassle for no reason. "V?" "yeah." "What is her name and who is she?" "I dunno her name u noe, I'll find out for you." Then it hit me. Omydayz. Nah it couldn't be...nah it was! It actually was. The bitch was De's ex. The one that had been calling my hone threatening me for over 2weeks. I checked in my bag to discover my purse missing. It was her. How she took it, I didn't know but I was going to get it back. I told V, my suspicions. "What if it weren't her?" "I know it is HER doh, the fuckin bitch! Omygosh, why is she tryna make me go mad?" "Don't let her get to you then." "Too late. She has got to me and it is PISSSSSINNNN me off, I wanna strangle her," Like magic, the devil appeared out of no where, bussin convo with my bredrin. MY bredrin. Dean. Tryna go on as if to say she knew him 1st. KMT. I was too old for that shit. I needed to calm down. I walked up to her. " GIVE ME BACK MY PURSE BEFORE I FUCKIN DRAG OUT UR WEAVE," "Rayne allow the hype man." Dean replied. "About...Dean, you don't even know, She robbed my purse and she's now smiling in my face like nuttin happened. Ok, say no more. There was only a 20pound note in there doh still. Just telling you in case u thought I kept my private shit on there!" Dean looked baffed, the bitch was smiling in my face. I text De-Andre to come and pick me up cah I couldn't be bothered to take a bus. He text back "Ok baby" that would be the 1st time I would have seen him in about a month and a couple of weeks so I got really excited and ting. After an argumentative Philosophy lesson I said bye to V and headed towards the door. De-Andre was waiting outside across the road. I quickly run and jumped on him proper hugging him and ting! What the hell do you know about swagger? De-Andre was a swagger don. Jheeze. He was wearing blue and white and my lord I saw his wings flatter and the halo brighten. I took a step back and checked him out. "Baby u look good" I said to him. He picked me up and took my breathe away. Normally, public displays of affection did not appeal to me but with my peripheral vision seeing his ex's face I happily kissed him back. Bitch! I thought to myself. I have him and you don't. "Hmm you smell nice." Argh shit man. His hair had grown longer than minez. PAR. Kmt he needs to cut it off. I said thinking to myself. I got in his whip and felt vibrations. I had my head set in so I just answered the phone without looking at the caller i.d.. "Hello?" "----" "Hello man?" "-----" I was about to lock off when the person spoke. "You are going to regret it, stay away from De-Andre you sket." I was about to reply when the person locked off. It weren't the bitch but voice seemed really familiar. Me and De-Andre talked for abit then I decided I wanted to go home. I had work to do. "I aint seen u in weeks doh!" he

said tryna moan. " "My work must come first baby!" I replied getting out of his car. He mirrored my actions. This boy! I searched for my keys and clocked I couldn't find them. Ah shit. O well, there was one under the bin. I took it out and was about to open the door when I clocked someone had opened it. Weird. De-Andre raised his eye brows. WDF. I walked in. Nah I didn't. De-Andre told me to wait outside then went in my house. I got a text. "Told u! Leave De-Andre and I'll leave you alone. This is just the beginninnin" Fool. She couldn't even spell. Kmt. I tried calling the number; no one picked up. God damn. I got kinda shook I mean what was going on. I waited and waited till De came out and he spoke. "Someone robbed ur keys and came in ur house, nothings missing as far as I can tell but they left this behind!" he said showing me a paper. It read "Play with fire and get burned." WDF. NAH I WAS NOW SHOOOK. "De, im coming to ur house tonight! I'm too scared!" "Okay baby." He led me upstairs to get my stuff, I couldn't even look around. I was scared. Someone was out for me and the person had gone into my house! The only place I thought was safe. Omygosh. Who is doing this to me? I was in De-Andres car when I had a panic attack. I couldn't breathe or I thought I couldn't breathe. I'd never been so scared in my life. He stopped the car and kept telling me to breathe in and out. He got me a paper bag to breathe into. "Rayne baby just breathe." "I-I-I cant." I replied with tears in my eyes. I thought to myself. Nothing could ever be perfect for too long. Everything I loved always flopped me. I didn't want to cause harm to my children and at the same time I loved De-Andre. Dilemma! We got to his house and he didn't take his eyes of me. Every where I went he followed, maybe thinking I would faint or something. For that, I loved him so much more. He was just so caring. I was in his kitchen sitting down when he came in and watched me. "What?" I asked. He smiled. "You look really hot when you're thinking." That made me laugh. "You look even better laughing Rayne." I smiled. "Come." He said commanding me to get up. "Am I your dog?" "Nah you're my bitch boo." I laughed. "Skeen. Well, I aint coming for no-one." "Are you sure you aint COMING?" I was about to reply when I clocked where he was going with it. "Aw, De-Andre you have some dirty mind lol, you fool." He laughed and came and picked me up and took me to his bedroom; no complaints. We just laid in his bed in pure silence. "De?" "Hmm?" "Who do you think is doing this to me?" "I don't know. But when I find out who he is, there's going to be trouble." "Who said anything about he?" "What?" he asked looking a bit perplexed. "It's a she!" He didn't reply and I could tell he was thinking about something. "De-Andre tell me what your thinking." "Nothing!" He replied. I knew he was lying. His face told me he was thinking about something but he was lying to me. I decided to let it rest. I dozed off. The vibrations of my phone woke me up. Private Number. I picked up anyway. "Hello?" I said grumbling unto the phone. I was tired! "You just don't listen innih! I told you stay away from him and your in his house, Ok, fine," "WDF who are you. What do you want from me?" "I want you to leave De-Andre alone." "Why?" "Because he is mine." "We've been together for nearly 2years. So why u gonna come and try saying this now?" "Because when you were apart he was with me. Bruv say no more, Leave him, cah I know your mumzy is in Essex and I know you don't want me to hurt little De-Andre and Ja'leisha." Then she locked off. I started crying. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I pretended to sleep and cried into the pillow. He came to get something from the room and walked back out. I couldn't even be bothered anymore. She basically knew who I was where I lived etc. No boy, was going to put my children in danger. No matter how hard it would be, I had to lock it with De-Andre. I had no other option. I cried and cried. I loved him so much but Lord God my children had to come first in my life. But he was their daddy. So? He was the reason I was going through this anyway. I continued to cry. I finally decided to get up and walked to the bathroom; washed my face and brushed my teeth. I walked down the stairs to see him jamming with Rage. His bredrin who had punched Priceless that time they had a fight. They both clocked my eyes were red and looked at eachother. "I'm ok" I said to them both. I jammed next to Rage and just listened in on their conversation. It was about football, crep the usual lah de dah manz talked about. De-Andre would keep glancing at me and I would look away. After about 10minutes I started crying and run up the stairs re-packing my stuff. He came in. "Rayne what are you doing?" "De-Andre I cant do this any more." "Do what?" "This, withheld stuff, girls calling my line threatening me and my babies." "Say what!?" I explained to him what had happened. "So your going back home?" "No, DeAndre I'm sorry but I cant do this any more. I love you, I really do, but I'm so sorry." "What are you tryna say?" he said his eyes going cloudy in the process. He looked so angry and hurt but didn't show it. From his eyes and the way he was clenching his jaw I could tell he was trying hard not to shout at me and take out his anger with me there. I cried even more. "I mean, I don't think we can be to..." I didn't finish my sentence cah I broke out in tears again. I couldn't even look at him. I just kept staring at my feet. "You don't think what Rayne?" "I don't think that me and you will work out baby...I love you." "Nah, you obviously don't love me cuz if you this, we wouldn't be talking about this..." I didn't reply and he stood there. After about 5minutes he went back downstairs. I packed the rest of my stuff and took off the ring he bought me. I couldn't breathe cah I was crying again! I took off the necklace he bought me. I took off everything I was wearing which he bought me. I took one last look at his room and walked down the stairs. Tears streaming down my eyes. I could hear him in the

kitchen shouting and ting. I could also hear Rage's voice. "Calm down Andre, maybe she needs time!" "Nah, this is the third and final time she's done this to me! Those she think I'm completely emotionless?" I opened the front door and closed it shut. The sun, which was supposed to be hot suddenly felt cold. I sent him a text saying "I'm sorry." A couple of minutes later I got one back which made me cry even more. I still hadn't moved away from his door. I was outside his front door crouching on the floor crying my eyes out. The text read: "Sorry? Ok, so am I Rayne I beg you delete me out of Your life." I wiped away my tears and decided to go to Jade's house. On the bus, I tried so hard to hold it in. But I couldn't. The amount of people that saw me crying and didn't say anything was appalling. I got to Jade's house and pressed her bell. She opened the door with a smile but the smile disappeared when she saw my face. "Omydayz, Rayne what happened?" I just cried. She let me in and I cried and cried. "Shhh," she said rubbing my back. After about 20minutes and a couple of Kleenex's, I explained to her what happened. "Rayne, what happened to you? I remember a few years ago, you were never like this. How you gonna let some chick some between you and your man?" I cried harder. "I-I-I don't know. I can't do it anymore!" I then told her about my house and ting. "So you don't know who it is?" "No, Jade I really don't!" We talked for a bit; well, she talked for a bit and I slept. When I woke up, it took about 5seconds for everything to sink in before crying all over again. It was like someone had stabbed me deep within my heart. My heart was hurting me so bad. My brain was confused. How can I let De-Andre go again for a third time? This time I knew that somehow he weren't coming back to me. I had lost him forever. I cried harder. One Week Later. I was still crying over Andre. Valentine had found out and made Priceless come talk to me. It still didn't help. I was still crying. I hadn't seen him in a week and it wasn't like I was going to see him again. I was walking home when I got call. Withheld again. "Hello?" "Well done, you listened, lucky bitch because I thought I would have had to teach you a lesson. Stay away from him now." I didn't even get time to reply before she locked off. The crazy bitch that had barged me I found her name was Melody. Kmt, there was nothing melodic about her. She was hitting all the wrong notes. She had transferred from another college, she was also someone Andre dun a ting, I mean he fucked her not went out with her. But she weren't the one calling me and continuously threatened me. I hated her and she hated me. I had been excluded; well I had been given time off from college because I lost it 2days before and had a fight with her. She had just pissed me off so bad! We were all split into groups of four and she was unfortunately in my group. It was in English. We were given two poems to annotate and I was working with Dean whilst she worked with Romel. Dean musta been tryna flirt with me (I knew he liked me) so he was flirting with me and I was laughing. He had asked me "What are you doing next Saturday." Next thing I know Melody decided to reply for me and say "probably giving heads." That just did it. I turned around, grabbed her hair and continuously punched her in her face. Dean tried to get pull me off her but I weren't having it. I got sent home to calm down but I obviously weren't finished. I came back after school whilst she was walking with her peoples. I jumped on her again and fucked her up. Her home made weave even came out. It weren't her fault she was a waste of space. All the anger I felt from splitting with Andre just transformed into me being violent. I had been dragged from her by Dean again! He was beginning to piss me off. I walked home, I weren't scared anymore. I hadn't seen Andre and it was getting to me. My mum clocked but didn't say anything but I overheard her talking about how I looked depressed and ting. I was DEPRESSED. But it was my fault so there was nothing I could do. 2months later. The twins' had had their birthday. It was actually a big celebration! Bare people came including De-Andre. He didn't even once look at me. Just went over to whoever was holding them and played with them. Wow, it was so painful. I had to sneak away at least three times to cry. My phone had become busy cah Dean was phoning me all the time. I didn't like him but true say he provided me with a distraction. College was ite, home was swag, but the twins were walking, like proper walking and it was starting to piss me off. I mean, double trouble was an under rated term. I was now focusing more on work cah I had nothing else to do. At random times I would find myself getting horny just thinking about him. The way he touched me, the way he looked at me and the way he could read straight through me. I found myself more in love with him! Lord. I would call him on private thinking I had the courage to talk to him. Hearing his voice always made me scared and I would lock off. Talk about coward. Things were supposed to be going good. Me and Dwayne met up again and he tried to talk me into getting back with him. Nah, although tempting, I just couldn't do it. We talked and talked and he revealed to me how he wanted to start a family with Jade, aww. "So how you gonna do that Wayne?" He laughed. "Well, I'm gonna not wear a condom and BOOOM!" I laughed. I had never laughed like that in a long time. We went Alton Towers and I met Oblivion. Lord. That was so scary. Whilst I was screaming in terror he managed to laugh. Nah dat was some freak adrenaline shit. I got home at 4o'clock and my mum lost it. Bare shouting and ting rah. I couldn't move out cah she helped me 100% with the twins. If she didn't help, I wouldn't have gone into college.

So things were going good, but without someone you love, everything is rubbish! It's was four months since me and Andre broke up and I had been hearing things about how he had a new woman in his life etc. Hearing that hurt me more than I realised. One particular Thursday afternoon, I had a free period and to top it off I was horny as fuck! I was on my way home when a car beeped at me. I turned around to see Dean bare grinning teeth in the passenger seat. I just got in the car. I mean, why walk when you can relax in a car? "So where you going?" he asked. "No where I'm so bored...and fuckin horny." He looked at me and grinned. "O shit! Did that come out loud?" "Yeah." He laughed and so did I; uneasily. The tunes he played in his car weren't helping either. Bare Pretty Ricky and I was going mad. "Come to my house." He said. I shrugged my shoulders. About half an hour later we got to his house. Nice neighbourhood big house! Rah. I found myself looking at this boy properly. He was half Jamaican, half Ghanaian, which is why I think we got along! Anyway, he was no way in the league of De-Andre but he always had a fresh shape-up and a sexy nose piercing. "Come in then" he said directing my waist to his bedroom. It seemed to me that he lived alone. "Nah, I live with my two brothers, but they go uni, but come back sometimes. When their bothered." I nodded. I dunno what or how it happened but I found myself kissing him. He had me get untop of him and he started fingering the brains out of my head. I was slowly riding his fingers. "Uh, ooo Dean!" After about 10minutes, he decided to switch it up. Oo, the way God loved me! Everyman I had been with had big tingz! Dun Kno. Dean was no exception. He had me bend over; gripping unto his bed, then slowly entered me. It was kinda painful, but soon the pain subsided. "Uh Yh Rayne." He said smacking my bum! "O,ooo Dean!" I replied moaning, I mean no sex in 4months! Woiiii! He had me riding him and he palmed my bum and kept sucking and biting my breast. I could see him sweating like mad. We fucked for at least an hour before he buss inside the condom. I was breathing hard and so was he. After I got my breath back I immediately regretted what I had just done! "Dean I'm so sorry! I'm such a prick!?" "Why?" I explained it to him. "Lol, can't we be fuck buddies then?" "Nooo! Lol, I shouldn't have done that." "But you have!" "Yeh, thanks a lot Dean, I like the way you're supporting me thru this!" We both laughed but I still felt awkward. We talked for a bit and I went home. I felt so weird. Jheeze. Three days later I had been invited to a shubz. My mum let me out cah I had been caring for the twins more lately and De-Andre said dadda : (. Argh! How I wished I coulda told him. Leesha was still mumbo jumbling. She couldn't talk but I knew she understood what I said cah I told her to get the cup and she did! : ) that's my baby. I knew everyone bait was going to that shubz cah it was Romel's. He turned 18 and was having a wild party that started at 7 and finished at 7 in the morning. Madness. But I weren't gonna roll up at 7 on the dot. I'm African. It's a fashion statement to be late. It was a retro, dress-up, fancy dress shubz ting. Bright colours or you had to dress old school or in a fancy dress. I decided to dress like a maid. I wore the black and white maids dress. I wore some sexy arse knee length black tights. It even had a lil bow. I made sure my bra strap could be seen and holler'd at my make-up artist. Jade! Boop Boop! She was doing a BTEC in Beauty and I was proud of her, cah true say. I didn't expect her to continue with her education! She was over at mine and she was wearing the same thing as me. Nah, I lied, She had gone retro, and boy it was with a bang. She wore glow in the dark pink leg warmers, a neon green jumper, bright pink tutu and bare glow in the dark accessories. She even made us trek the internet to find glow in the dark underwear. Sick Sick! She went hard. After make-up, and what comes after, she made us take pictures and we turned off our phones and waited outside for Geren, yeh, my Egyptian bredrin, to come pick us up. Me and him had been really close De-Andre, well, I told De-Andre to fuck off. I Andre often cah he came to see the twins, watching how happy he was with them hurt me cah he would then look at me with the coldest stare ever. Geren came and started eyeing me up. I laughed and we got in his whip. What I loved about ?! it always smelt fresh, he was always smelling clean. Aww, Geren. We talked about random stuff. We finally got to Romel's o lord. It Was packed. There were bare heads and I sat on Jade's lap and kept wining on her. She got pissed off and literally threw me off her lap. I laughed and promised not to do it again. But I did, over and over. She finally flipped and flung me off. She went to dance with Dwayne who had been eyeing her up from since we came into the shubz. I laughed and he winked at me and slapped her bum. I shook my head at him and we both laughed. I got bored of just looking at Geren doggy'in some girl. Well, he had clothes on but still! I was wondering what Dwayne thought about her glow in the dark underwear. I decided to tell him. I went to get myself a drink, coca cola! I weren't old Rayne, I had grown up and learnt from my mistakes, expect the one I made with Dean, shit happens. I felt really bad though! I was drinking my coke when I saw him literally walk thru the door like an angel. As usual his swag was on point but I just weren't feeling that chick on his shoulders. I mean, it was the same one he was with when we broke up. What is it with him and attachments? He was so attached to her. Whoa! She screwed me. I knew it weren't the lights or nuffin. My girl just looked at me and cut her eyes and pulled De-Andre closer. SKN. Dwayne walked over to me and I laughed. My guy was sweating hard core. "Dwayne?" "Yeh..." "You know she's wearing glow in the dark underwear." He stopped breathing and his eyes widened. As soon as she buss out of the kitchen he practically dragged her up the stairs. I was creasing! That was soo funny. I kept laughing and someone spoke. "What's so funny?" De-Andre. I looked around. He was talking to me! "Your talking to me?" he laughed.

"Yeh, you look surprised." "I am..." "What's been going on wit chu?" "Nuffin, you?" That's how the convo went for about 10minutes. Pure dead! "De-Andre, I love you still." "What?!?!?" he couldn't hear me cah the music was too loud. I whispered it in his ear. He nodded and looked at me with regret in his eyes. He was about to say suttin when she came proper barging me. I didn't say nuffin. Dead hype! I couldn't be bothered with chicks anymore. Fighting was pointless and I didn't see a reason to be arguing so I remained silent. "Dre baby, lets get out of here. I got suttin for you." She replied snaking her hands down his tingz. I looked at her and thought to myself. "Slag!" "Nah, I wanna stay here longer." "Okay, but theres a piercing I wanna show you in a special place." Then this bitch in front of me, had the audacity to take his fingers and push it down her skirt into her panties and straight to her pussy. Yuck! She pierced her clit. I dunno why but I started creasing. Proper cracking up, he tried hard not to smile but I could tell. She had flopped cuz she tried too hard. Poor girl. I rated her doh still. She walked off in a strop and he went upstairs. I hoped to wash his fingers. I walked upstairs aswell and jammed in Romel's room in the dark cuz I knew no one would be there. I hadn't even seen him and it was his shubz. I was sittin in the dark when someone same in. I was about to say suttin when I clocked who it was. I remained silent. "No, he still loves her man, he told me straight he don't like me." "-" "What am I supposed to do. She backed off." "----" "She's here but she aint even tried to move to him so boy!" "----" "bruv I don't care, I'm gonna get pregnant, I'm gonna make him not use protection man..." She talked for a bit longer and locked off. The bitch was tryna set up my baby. I put two and two together and made sense of the situation but still...who was she talking to. I was waiting for her to kick out when I felt the most butterz urge to sneeze. O Lord, please don't let happen. Then it did. "WDF" she shouted and turned on the light. I looked at her blinking. Ooops. I got up to go. She stopped me nicely. "Where do you think your going?" "Downstairs!" with that I used my ex Rayne attitude and smacked her in her face and threw her on the bed. I sprinted down stairs heels and all. I run looking for Andre every where. I went outside and saw his car parked his tail lights were on. I took off my shoes and run after the car. Well, it hadn't moved so yeh. He saw me and raised his eyebrows. I got in the car and he drove off and I told him what I heard. So what if I'm a snitch! We talked, for LONG. Somehow I ended up at his house and he complimented my dress. I said thank you and we somehow started kissing. "O, I missed you." He whispered against my ear. "Andre, promise me nothing like this will never happen again." "I promise." He replied whilst tugging off my panties. He licked his lips. I continued to kiss him. He fell on top of me. He was about to enter when I remembered. "No No No, wait, wrap your willie." He started laughing and reached for the durex. Thank God! He got on top of me again and inserted. O boy did he insert. He did the thing I hated the most and went really slow. I was moaning and scratching his back. He retaliated. Hmmm. He made me stretch before exercise. Nah he went wild on me. He had me stand up and lean to touch my toes then started workin it! He quickly run to get a chair and I leaned on that while he went mad on me. I was gripping on the chair as he continued to work my tingz. "Open." He said to me. I opened my legs and he grabbed on to my hair and started fucking me. I screamed and then some more. A couple of hours later, I was lying on the floor and he was on the bed. That was how wild he went on me. I was breathing really hard and for the first time ever, I had cramp. He had used me like a work out machine. Not that I was complaining! "D?" "Yeah..."

"What was that about ?" "I missed you." I didn't even reply. "Come here mami," OOO, I loved it when he talked like that. I went over to him and lay next to him; we talked, and ting. He slept and his phone went off. I thought it was a phone call but it was text. I read it. WDF It read "If u dnt 4get about her I will fuck her up, Dre I love you stop fuckin wit me You know how much you mean to me And you keep going back to her. Stop NOW." I looked at the name. He saved her as "Un-fly bitch." I looked at the text. WDF. I looked for my phone so I could put her number in my phone and bell it later. I had a text. I opened it. "STAY AWAY FROM DRE. BEFORE UR CHILDREN GET HURT~ BITCH" Again. I had had enough. This was war! I deleted the text. He didn't need to know and I reached for my phone again and called Jade, then Sky. I had them both on conference call and tip toed to the bathroom closing the door in the process. I told them what happened. "Nahh, is she stupid, I'm on whatever your on Rayne" I smiled. My girls, I Knew I could always count on them. We talked for abit more and arranged to meet up later on that day. I wrote De-Andre a note and kicked. I got home and changed my clothes. My hair was starting to piss me off so I just had it up in a pony tail. My door bell rang and I went to open it, looking thru the peephole. I was on 100% security alert. Sky and Jade were bare grinning and Sky jumped on me hugging me and bringing me to the floor in the process! Silly girl! They came in and we started talking. "But I wanna know who was on the phone to her doh!" I replied. "Argh! I cant get her address and that's about it really." Sky replied. "Noo, I wanna fight the fuckin bitch bruv!" They all started laughing and I looked at them baffed, "Is something funny?" I asked. Jade replied. "Ha-ha yeh. That's the old Rayne we know! I grinned. We discussed the bitch for a while longer and I found out where she worked. I was planning on paying her a visit. If she thought she could fuck up my life, boy, something was going to hit her hard, and knock the piercing out of her clit : ). We jammed for a bit more when Andre called my phone. We talked for a bit then I locked off. Sky decided to make us follow her to go link up with some mysterious guy. She refused to tell who doh. We got on the bus and started talking when a couple of manz came on the bus. Sky was sitting one seat away from the back and I was infront of her and Jade was infront of me. There were about 7 guys. They looked about 17 upwards. Sky started laughing cuz she had literally mesmerised one guy. He couldn't stop staring at her. So he went to sit next to her whilst me and Jade laughed. The other manz kept staring at us and licking their lips. I laughed again. Like some funny coincidence De Andre called me. "Baby..." "Dre, where are you?" "Look outside the bus man." I did and I started laughing. He was with Dwayne and Priceless and they were jammin next to one snooker place staring up at us. We were stuck in traffic. Jade looked outside and started banging on the window saying hi to Dwayne like she hadn't seen him in years. She was so silly. The manz looked outside aswell and De, Price and Dwayne all screwed at the sam

e time. I started creasing! The bus moved. "Hmm, if I see any of them touch you its war, bye baby." He said then locked off. So rude! Thy tried but failed to move to any of us and we all got off the bus. "Sky, this does not look like someone's house." She laughed. "I lied!" "We're going bowling!" She replied proper excited. "Sky you're a loser." I said to her. We all laughed. "By ourselves?" Jade asked. "Nooo, just wait man, follow me." We got inside, got dem bowling shoes and ting then we waited for who ever was coming. I heard, well, we heard them before she saw them. All of De-Andre's friends, with Priceless' and Dwayne's. There was about 15 of them. Real talk. Sky was not serious. "Sky, look, three versus 15? What the hell." She laughed and answered her phone. "Yeh yeh. Hurry man!" then she locked off. Omygosh! That was a bump. It weren't fair. At first I thought I was imagining it but I weren't. They had t-shirts with writing on it. And they looked fuckin hard. And cuz the shirt was black the writing was in white it glowed. It looked so sick. Everyone of them was wearing the same thing. "Bowling Champions." Omygosh! I was so shocked. They were all grinning teeth. Then I heard more noise. Nuff girls. I saw my baby! Valentine. Then bare other girls behind her. I finally clocked. Everyone of the boys were dealing with each one of the girls. Dwayne turned around and I laughed. His shirt (the back) read; "Jade cant beat me! Jheeeze" I was creasing until I saw De-Andre's. Kmt. It said the same thing, only my name was there. "Sky man you flopped it, we aint even got t-shirts." She just grinned and said "wait wait." All the girlies came and we hugged, bussed convo and did our lil gossiping thing. We looked over to the boys. They were practising and Price and De-Andre kept making silly faces and doing that "loser" sign. I laughed cah they were so immature. One of Sky's bredrinz, rolled up with a big fat bag. "Come we all go toilet." "WDF, lool," we all started laughing because the way Sky said it came out wrong. Everyone hit the toilet regardless. All the guys were boasting bout how they were gonna win. Etc. It was really funny. About 15mins later I was bare grinning teef and staring at the mirror. I looked sick. Sky had got us all t-shirts and it looked hard. It was blue with white writing aswell and it went it everyone's outfit. The back of everyone's said, "We ball darg" Then the front of mine said "De-Andre cant ball like me!" Then in small writing "Bowlin Wifey'z." It looked hardcore hard. Sky's one said "Geren cant ball like me!" The bitch. She hadn't even told me that her and Geren were dealing. The bitch had the audacity to grin at me. I smirked at her back. We all came out of the toilets and they all went silent. Except for one fool called Rage. "Baby I rate that, you girls went hard!" he said proper excited. An hour later; the wifeyz were winning and the manz kept cheating by holding their girls waist and kissing on their neck on ting. Dwayne tried to blame himself floppin cuz there was too much noise. Kmt, after it was his people them that were making the noise. I laughed. It was soo much fun, although I couldn't bowl for shit. DeAndre just winked every time I missed and would undress me with his eyes. I found myself getting horny. Damn! He bopped off to the toilet and I followed; Sky watched nudged Valentine and they started creasing. He disappeared into the girls toilets. I opened the door and got dragged in. He was watching me bare licking his lips. "What?" I asked. "The top." "What about it?" "Your boobs." "Yes?" "Big!" he replied stretching his arms out wide to emphasise the point. I laughed. "Take it off please" he said pleading with me. I did. He started kissing me and grabbed unto my bum. "uh, De...stop, we have to get back. " "In a bit." He replied, tugging down my trousers. I couldn't help myself. But I did. "Nahh De... stopp." I said tryna escape. I turned around and he snuck behind me and hugged me from behind. Cupping my breasts in the process. I sighed. He just had a way of doing things that made me keep on falling in love with him over and over again. I pulled my trousers back up. He turned me around and starting kissing me. Forcing me to lean against the door cuz real talk, it really woulda knocked me off of my feet. "Arr, De your horny innih." He just grinned at me. I laughed and tried to get out of the toilet. "Do suttin for me please. I need a favour" He asked bare baring his white teeth. "Nooo, noo way!" I laughed and kept laughing. He took my hand and put it to his ting! I laughed harder. "Ha-ha, your hard!" "What you expect after your fat tits have been staring at me for the past hour, and you keep bending down and I keep seeing your thong!" "I didn't realise you felt that way baby." I replied laughing still. "Watch when we got to my house." "What?" "I'm gonna make you beg me to fuck me." I laughed and finally escaped. I heard him behind me. Loool, bare muttering things about my bum to himself. I heard "fuckin big" and I laughed harder. In the end the girlies won and to celebrate we all went Nando's and made the manz pay for the food. Well, cuz there were so many of us, the ones the liked Aroma went aroma and the Nandos people went Nandos. Yah diggg? We were just there jamming having fun bussin joke. Then my phone went off. De-Andre picked up and I was wondering who it was. He said "don't call this number again" then locked off. "Who was it?" I asked thinking it was that girl. "Some guy called Jordan" he replied bare screwing. I had just lost my appetite. "Why did you answer and be rude?" "Cuz..." "That's my bredrin from school, who do u think you are? My mum? To be telling me who to talk to and who not to talk to." "Well, I don't care, when I'm there it aint gonna be happening." I was getting pissed off and I weren't tryna hide it. Sky clocked and gave me that eye. I remained silent got my phone back walked off and phoned Jordan. To piss him off even more, I talked to Jordan for the rest of the night. He screwed me and looked mad! Good for him. I thought to myself. Who the hell did he think he was. It was really petty but the littlest things just got under my skin,. PRICK. We got to his yard and he was silent. I didn't mind cuz I was enjoying the silence. I smiled, pissing him off even more. I laughed. I kept laughing, damn, I couldn't help myself. "I'm sorry" he said to me after a while. I didn't reply, just stared at him blankly like he was speaking French. "Did you hear what I said?" he asked. Knowing full well that I did. I closed my eyes and leaned back on the sofa. I opened my eyes to see him standing directly in front of me. I decided to allow him. "Yeh, I heard you ..." "Ok, I'm sorry." "For what?" I asked. "Being a ..."

"Prick?" "Yh, and trying to rule your life, but that's because I care..." "Too much." I muttered under my breath. "Ok Ok, apology accepted now go make me some food." "What would you like?" "Rice...with anything." He started grinning. "Errr no De-Andre that's just dirty man." I laughed. He kept grinning and eyeing me. "Go then!" "Ok..jheeze woman." He walked off into the kitchen. "And bring some orange juice whilst your at it!" "Ok!" he shouted from the kitchen. I laughed. I had him on smash and lock! Jheeeze. This guy was my bitch. I waited and for the first time in a couple of months, turned of the telly. I watched Eastenders at 10o'clock and got really baffed. I didn't understand anything that was going on I just put it on a music channel and found myself sleeping. I woke up and saw the time. Whoa! It was about 3:24am in the morning. I was in the living room but I could hear bare shouting and laughter coming from the kitchen. I went upstairs to his room, had a quick shower cuz I hated sweat! Yuck! I wore my...well, his fat top and my tracksuit bottoms. The noise was still there. I walked into the kitchen to see Rage and some next manz I had never seen before bare grinning teeth at me. De-Andre was leaning on the counter on is phone, texting away. "Introduce me to your other brehs then!" I said. He hadn't even clocked I was in the room. He looked up from his phone and screwed me. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?" he asked jokingly. I took that shit to heart. "Skeen going on as if to say you're the boss of me." I relied screwing him. His bredrins laughed. But we talked and I found out their names. Really nice people, who didn't sleep. Their conversation got into like lifting weights and shit and I said. "Why don't you have a competition?" "Like what?" Rage asked. I chewed my bottom lip. Then it hit me! "I got it! All of you have to lift me up and see who has the highest number or you can do press up with me on your back!" I replied getting excited. They looked at me and all started laughing. "What's funny?" "We done it already!" "To who!?" "You..." "What?" "You were sleeping." "Chat shit!" "Nah serious." "How can you abuse me like that! That's some freaky shit! Hmph! I'm gone back o bed. Losers!" Then I went to bed and laid awake. I got bored and was about to call Jade when Jordan called me. " Hello sexy boy!" I said excitingly onto the phone. His deep voice filled my ear as he laughed. "I thought you would be sleeping!" "I was but I aint no more!" "Oh, did I wake you?" "Nah, Nah. You didn't. so what you up to my dear?" "Nuffin, just finished off some next chick, jammin on my bed bored and I thought about you!" "Lol, in finished do you mean you beat some girl?" I asked. "Yeah lol." "Was it exciting?" I asked. Proper interested. It was the African in me man! "Umm, yeah...lol, whoa no girl has ever asked me that before." "Lol, so how did it go? Like was she screaming and ting?" He started laughing and started to explain it to me. "You go Jordan! I rate that my lad." "Your weird Rayne." "Thanks love!! So you aint got a wifey?" "I never said that!" "Jor-" "Nah I'm gassin, I'm on this single and mingle ting!" I laughed again. "Jordan..." "Yeah..." "How many girls a month would you say you lash?" "About hmm, rah that's a lot!" "Go on!" "About 25..." "Lol rah that means you fuck like everyday g!" "Lol..." "Whoa! Is there anyone you wanna do that you aint done?" I asked. He laughed. "Rayne your so open! Um yeh there's one girl." "Isit!" "I wanna noe!" "Well, you quite close to her!" "V?" I asked. "Nah, closer than that." I thought really hard and no one came into my mind. "Jordz...no one comes into mind my love." "Ok, I'll tell you." "Ok..." "You."

I went silent for a bit. So he decided to talk. "Rayne I like you. I've been unto you for time! But you aint on it cuz you got a man! I understand." "Rah Jordan lol, I dunno what to say!" "Say nuffin cuz there aint nuffin I can do about it alie?" I laughed and we talked for a bit longer. It was about 5o'clock when I locked off. Awww, Jordan liked me. I went to bed again. My phone ringing woke me up. Whoa. It was my mum. And as I guessed, I got cussed and cussed. I quickly got dressed and made my way home. De-Andre was no where to be found. O well. My mum needed me to look after my children. I felt bad. I literally neglected them! Awwww. I got home and my mum started cussing me. I just laughed and went into my bedroom. I soon heard my front door shut. I walked downstairs to see them two sleeping. Awww, they looked so cute. I was about to walk away when I bumped my leg into the table. The pain I felt I tell you! "Shit!" I said really out loud. They like magic they both woke up. They were about to buss into a cry when they clocked my face. Leshha smiled and talked baby slang. Dun kno I was down with that too! Jheeze; I was saying it like it was nuffin. Her eyes were grey. A really beautiful grey, it looked so pretty. "Mummy thinks you have nice eyes Leesh!" She smiled her 2tooth smile. "Awww, if you weren't my babies, I would so kidnap you both!" Life was almost perfect Well, except for that bitch! She was getting her's soon enough! My mum had made me look for a job. I was kicked out of my yard until I found one and I was close to begging! De-Andre was under strict orders from my dad not to help me out. Everyone in my family had been warned. WDF! That weren't even fair... I mean how was I supposed to find a job!? My CV was shit cuz I got fired on work experience! I could never forget that day! That one week lecturing I got from my mum! Then after her my dad laid it on aswell! Bloody hell! I was wondering around when some youth group thingy grabbed my attention. I walked in and saw bare kids my age and under fucking about. I looked at them and felt so weird. I was their age and yet I felt more matured, I had more responsibility! I honestly felt like 25 and not 16. My life story! I had grown up just too damn fast. I thought back to just a year ago when I was just a normal child trying to live my life. Whoa! Karma was a bitch. I walked in and started asking about for any new jobs and ting. Oddly enough I got the job without an interview! She was shocked when I told her I was 16 cuz she claimed I carried myself and had a lot of maturity. I was getting paid 7pounds an hour to help cater to the children and clean and ting. It was a government founded project which aimed to keep young children of the streets. I was actually impressed cuz they had a studio, dance stage and everything. It was actually for a good cause aswell! Someone of these children were talented and a little bit cocky tryna get unto me. I politely turfed them cuz I weren't unto getting fired for being rude. Rayne did not roll like that. I was feeling extremely happy with myself! I didn't wanna DeAndre cuz he was beginning to piss me off. I didn't understand why his voice annoyed me. I observed our relationship and rah! We had been thru a lot but then as Wretch said, Nothing lasts forever! And I agreed 100%. I got home and told my mum the good news. She threw me back out cuz she thought I was gassing. I had to swear on bare holy bibles, promise, and say some next word before she believed me. Then she started hugging me and ting! This woman was a BEG! It was a Thursday and I weren't going in to College cuz it was my day off. I was starting work aswell! I was so excited! I decided to wear black! Jheeze. I woke up. Nah I didn't my mum woke me up at 5o'clock in the morning telling me to hurry up before I was late. "Mum it starts at 10." "Well, hurry then. You will be late." "Mum its five in the morning." "I know!" "Mum, bye..." I said closing my door. She actually pissed me off! Did this woman realise how early it was or was she just playing games? Then I actually clocked she was being serious. I slept till like 8 and woke up and got myself ready. I wore my black Armani Jeans, Black Air forces, black top and black coat. I also wore my Aqua. Damn homie I was balling! Nah not really but still. I wore my black Nike scarf gloves and hat and fed the rascals. My mumzy knew I was on my way to being late and she was still being fuckrie not allowing me to go anywhere. I had to bath and feed them before I kicked. Argh! I looked at the time. 9:15. I got my shits and dusted. I was nearly late but no-one seemed to really notice. "Rayne. This is Shelbymore Youth Centre, this is Derek he will be showing you about the place..." the woman said to me. She run the place and I was going to be her pet! Cah I was sick like that. I looked at Derek! Whoa! He was a very VERY attractive human being. He dressed formal and it suited him and this boy wore glasses. I was getting happy cuz he looked sexy! If I was older and single, I would sooo holla at him. "Hi Rayne... I'm Derek." "Hi, Derek...I'm Rayne." We both started laughing. He showed me about the place and I had to get involved in their activities and shit. I also had to give counselling and I was shook cuz my life weren't really a story tale and someone was asking ME. The worst person there was to advise young children. I tried to tell them I was swag but I had a workshop, they went thru bare shit and I found myself relating to some of the things they were saying. I found it really insightful and I found myself comparing my life to the problems mentioned. Damn! My life was actually fucked up. The first day was dead, I got to know everyone the intro's etc. Me and Derek got

along aswell. He would buss joke about everyone there I would laugh. I found out that he was an EX gang member, who saw Christ (praise the Lord) changed his ways, moved to London as he was originally from Manchester, 2years ago he moved to London cuz his brother got burned alive in front of him. (I CRIED) and he was helping other people try to avoid this road business. I rated him too much! For a 18year old he had so much wisdom and had been though a lot! I also found out he was blessed with creativity. He would freestyle out of no-where and drew me in 10minutes. I kept the picture cuz it looked PROFESSIONAL. After one day, I had learned so much and I liked my job even though I had to move and clean sometimes, it was for a good cause. I suddenly felt guilty. I shoulda voluntarily done it cuz I was robbing them. But then again , o well. Life was a bitch. I got home extra tired around 10 conked out. I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. I had college and was looking forward to it! Thursday had taught me to appreciate the smallest things in live. Talking of appreciation... I called De-Andre cuz I had busied all his calls on purpose and weren't talking to him for reasons he didn't know. That was not nice!' "Hello De-Andre?" "Yeah, who's this?" "Am I calling on private?" I asked thinking wdf has he forgotten my voice. "No, buh like you aint called me in so long I've forgotten your voice." "Arh! I'm sorry, I've just been busy." "With what?" "I've got a job now you know." "You are chatting SHIT! Someone gave you a job?" he started laughing. "Kmt, just cuz ur a drug dealer," "I'm not." "then tell me what you do" "Then I'll have to kill you." "Arsehole. I'm going now bye." "No! about wait. So you seriously got a job?" "Yeah." "What is it?" I explained it to him and he was kinda impressed with me. I was grinning bare teeth! "De-Andre I'm calling to say sorry for not picking up your phone calls and ting! I was bare moody them times." "Yeh, I clocked" We talked for a bit more when I had to get off the phone cuz I was being late. "Come to my house yeh, after college. I want suttin from you." "Hmm, like you never want something from me..." "You don't complain so I don't plan on stopping, if you want it now, come over." "Kmt, after I got school." "You aint denied it, so therefore you want it. Point proved." "Your ideologies are flawed." He started laughing. THE FOOL. I put him in my headset and walked around my house looking for my bag and ting. I found it and kicked out of yard. Everyone else was still sleeping. "So you still wanna come to my house for a quick session?" "Lol, no! I'll come after man, for you a quick session is 2hours!" "Nahh, if you suck me yeh, it'll be quicker, Rayne man I really wanna cum in your mouth." "Omygosh! Now your just venturing on phone sex! Nooo way! Get off my line you freak." "Hmm, you'll soon be my sex slave. Rayne your all talk...cuz I know you like it when I make you scream." "Omygosh." "Remember that time I made you lose your voice?" "Omygosh." "'Imma do my thang again baby." "Omygosh" I said again in shock. He was actually an idiot. I found myself laughing damn, I couldn't deny it cuz it was the truth. My bus came and he was still on my line. He refused to get off until I said I was going to come to his yard in the afternoon. "Rayne! Come I'm roasting" "Why you telling me?" "Bcuz its your responsibility to keep me warm when I'm cold, satisfy me when I'm horny and suck my dick when I've been good." I started creasing! He was actually funny! I was laughing really loud on the bus. He was too funny.

I talked to him all the way to college until I really had to lock off. "Ok, fool, I'll come in the afternoon." "To satisfy me?" "yeh De-Andre to satisfy your forever horny needs." "Good, cuz man needs you to suck his balls aswell." "You're a ---" He locked off. I called back he picked up laughed then locked off. My mouth was wide open. He was actually an asshole. His audacity. The imbecile. I went to look for Valentine and bumped into Jordan. "Stranger!" I said hugging him. O he smelt nice. "Kl babes?" "Yeah, you?" "I'm doing fine still...where were you going?" I explained to him that I needed to find my bitch. "I aint seen her today." "Ah-seen." I called her phone whilst still talking to him. It rang for bare long and she picked up, proper out of breath. "V? you ite?" "Yeah, I was just err, exercising." ":S Lol, kl kl, where are you?" "At home I er...don't feel well?" I tried not to laugh. She was the worst liar in the whole entire universe but I still pretended to believe her. "Awww, bubi isit. What is it?" "My ermm, my head. Yeh my heads banging." Then I heard Priceless' voice I muted her and started laughing. He was like "Ey stop lying and tell her my dicks in your pussy and I'm waiting for you to get off the phone." I unmuted her. "V I'll leave you yeh. Get well soon." "Uh- yeahh ookkkkaaay." I locked off. That was just plain nasty. I laughed and explained it to Jordan. We both started creasing. My bitch weren't in school and my other batch had all gone on some stopid field trip for Geography. I was stuck with Jordan! I didn't mind , cuz he was really funny. We were jamming in the art department cuz he wanted me to see his work. He was pretty good. He kept watching me and I got a little bit nervous. I didn't say anything. But true say you don't do that when you know someone likes you and you have a man. You just don't jam with them. It was guaranteed that something was going to happen. And it weren't gonna be good. "Rayne I wanna wife you so BAD!" I stuck out my bottom lip. "I dunno what to say to you Jordan!" "Hmm, yeah, say nuttin, cuz you have a man innih." "yeh, and I'm sorry if I've been giving you some wrong vibes" "Noo. Nah not even! Its all me. I cant help but like you" "Awwww! I still dun know what to say! Friends?" "Corse, I'm just gonna flirt with you nuff times in this college." "Lol, ite then!" College was ok. Jordan was funny but as he had said before, he would flirt with me and mygosh he did! I was waiting for a bus to go to De-Andre's. I looked across the road to the field trip people coming back kmt! I saw Dean grinning bare teeth at me. I laughed and waved at him. He was about to cross the road when my bus came. I started creasing and went to sit down. The bus was bare funny cuz these lil year7's were there, just bare cussing each other. It was soo funny I started creasing. I had tears in my eyes. Them really dumb jokes that are just so funny! I got off laughing my ass off. I started walking towards his yard when I clocked her. I started grinning bareeee! It was that bitch that was tryna break up my relationship. I just grinned at her as she screwed me. I had him so boy! I felt her stare burning into me as I turned a corner and walked up his road. I knocked on the door and waited. He opened the door bare grinning. He pulled me into the house bare kissing me and touching me everywhere. "You came..." he said directing my hips up the stairs to his room. He was behind me kissing my neck and ting. Saucy! He threw me on the bed and started taking off his clothes. I just sat there grinning thinking this is a strip tease. Then he had to open his mouth and say something! "So your sucking my dick innih?" "No kmt!" "Whyyy man?" he said getting on top of me.

"Cuz man that's not ..." "Rayne, but you've done it before haven't you? "Yeah but that's differ-" "So what you tryna say?" he said resting his forehead on mine. "Nuffin..." "Your gassed up Rayne..." he said removing my shoes, and trousers. "No I'm not." I replied kissing him back. "Yeh, please man, you've never done it to me before, I want my dick to feel your throat." He took off my top and started biting my nipples through my bra. I closed my eyes. "Uhhh..." "Rayne, so your gonna do it yeah?" he started fingering me. "Omygoshhhh!" "that's a yes?" he took off my bra and started kissing me again. "Mmmhhh." "A yes?" he asked again trailing his body down to mine. He started going lower and lower. I clocked he had successfully removed every item of clothing except for my panties. I felt his hot breath down there. "Omygosh De-Andreeeee!" I tried to wiggle feel of him but he held my thighs firmly with his strong arms and started eating me out. My legs were REALLY sensitive and he kept stroking them, making me feel high. "OMYGOSH please stop!" I pleaded with him hoping he would stop. That felt too damn good. He blew into my pussy and I actually passed out. NAH REAL TALK. Omygosh!!!!!!! I was biting my lip and gripping on his face pushing his face deeper. He didn't seem to mind. After a long time, he came back up bare grinning at me, I couldn't even look at him, I was out of breath and I still couldn't open my eyes properly. It was that intense. "Soo? You gonna do the same for me?" "No, now take out your dick and make it visit my pussy." He started creasing but I was being serious. He started taking off the rest his clothes and I watched intently and he smiled. He finished and was finally naked. "Condom?" "No, condoms, I aint letting you go until you lose your voice," I laughed thinking he was fucking about. But he actually wasn't. "You start it off cuz I'm saving the best till last." He said grinning at me. I put on the condom for him and sat on top of his ting and started riding. He started biting my nipples again and held my waist firmly on his dick. "Uh-Andre!!!!" I said screaming. This was too much and he weren't even finished. He turned me around spread my legs and entered me from behind before I could even get my breath back. I scanned for suttin to grab on to. The sheets! I started grabbing on the sheets as he worked me. I felt him about to buss and he started working harder. He gripped proper hard onto my waist and bit my neck. Damn! When he finished, he took of the condom and dashed it in the bin, bare grinning teeth at me. A few minutes later we were resting in his bed still breathing hard. "Next round lets go!" he said proper getting on top of me. "Omygosh! Nahhhh your hard already? De-Andre you take Viagra." He started laughing then frowned then grinned. "What you smiling at?" "That." He said pointing to my neck. I looked into the closest mirror and saw the fattest reddest hickey. He was smiling cuz he had obviously done something to be proud of. "Rayne on a level, how you want it?" "What?" "I'm coming up with ways to fuck you." "Omygosh! Lol, WHAT IS IT WITH YOU?" "You." "What?" "You don't realise the effect you have on people do you?" "Erm, I don't seem to, tell me." "Uh-uh, lemme show you what a Nigga must do when you make such advances." "Erm ok." I replied really baffed. "Stand up." I did, naked and all. "Niceee." I started laughing. He was so random sometimes. "Now get on the bed again." I did as I was told. He went into his condom box and opened another one. I got kinda horny just watching his dick. It was truly magnificent. "Open your legs" I did. He positioned himself above me and came in between my legs. Basically, each arm parted my legs and his knees were at the back on mine, supporting them. His legs came in between mine and his hands grabbed my ankles. My man started fucking and I started screaming and shit! It went on for a few hours cuz at 8o'clock, he had just finished and my throat was sore from screaming and my bones were aching me. I tried to style it out.

"Another round?" "Noooooooooooo! Are you dumb? Do you think I want to be paralysed?" "What did I tell you?" "That I was going to scream" "And?" "And that, I would lose my voice." "HAVE YOU LOST IT?" "No..." "See, exactly, so we have to continue." "Nahh I cant, I have to go home cuz my mum will be going mad." "Your lucky" he said eyeing me up still. I slowly got up from the bed and put my clothes on really slowly. It weren't cuz I was tryna seduce him. It was because I was really and truly tired, my bones ached and my down below was on fire aswell. "Do you want a lift?" "Yes please!" I said eagerly. I was in so much pain. "Can you get me paracetamol please." He went downstairs and came back with a glass of water and the tablets in his hand. He just grinned at me as I took it. I groaned in pain. I couldn't even laugh and he was clocking on that it was all because of him. "Watch next Saturday, I'm gonna make u beg me to continue." "KMT." "Don't act you don't like the things I do to you." "No you know what yeh! I'm turning celibate, everytime we have sex De-Andre you wear me out, I'm not a machine." "But you beg me to go deeper everytime." "Well...you know, maybe its difficult for me to say stop, when your in my ting you know..." He started laughing. I was rubbing my pussy through my trousers cuz it really hurt. He clocked and buss out laughing. "You know what yeh, watch I'm gonna get you back!" He frowned and laughed harder. I finally persuaded him to drop me off and I crawled up the stairs went to shower and went bed. I was knackered. The next morning, I woke up looked at the time and was about to go back to sleep when it registered in my brain. "O SHITTTTTTTT!" I got up run, then power walked cuz my bones had not healed from that last episode. I thought about it and found I wanted to go back for more. "No snap out of it. You have WORK" I said tryna re-assure myself. It worked! Thank GOD. I was nearly late for work but no-one seemed to clock. I was with Derek, cleaning up and ting when he started asking me questions about my life and ting. "Rayne have you got a man?" "Yup! Have you got a girl?" "Nah, bun that, my last chick was a straight up jazzy. She had been around the block." "What happened?" I asked curious as we continued to mop the dirty floor. "When we were dealing yeh she asked me to keep it on a down low. So I did. But then this bitch went and fucked my best friend and I aint talking once. A couple of times." "Rah, did your best friend know you were dealing with her?" "No! cah she told me not to tell no1. she said she was insecure and ting." "Ahhhh, deep" "Alie?" We continued to talk and I realised he was actually a nicer person that I thought. He was kind and good hearted as well cuz he was the ONLY black person that gave money every month to charity and for that I told him about how much I rated him and he laughed. We finally hit our 30minute break and I explored the centre more. There were counselors, tutors, nurses everything! I actually loved it there. All of them had been thru so much and some were still struggling rah, a thirteen year old came in and admitted to smoking. The way I felt for her! Rah, no way were my children turning out like that. I was going to make sure of it! Work finally finished and I was slowly becoming accustomed to everyone there. They were really nice people. And I kept getting compliments about how my hair was long for a black girl. I hadn't thought so, buh boy! The way the compliments were pouring in made me like my job even better. The workers were all going to some next bar to jam. "Rayne you sure you don't wanna come?" Derek asked, proper tryna make me go for like the fifth time in a minute. "Yeh, I have to go visit my baby!" I said with excitement. "Mhhmm, and we know what happens, one bang, it only takes one sperm." "Ha-ha, not really, cah motherfucker, people have twins!" "SMARTY PANTS." "Tryna go on as if its my fault you didn't finish school." He started laughing and then scratched his head tryna make a comeback it only made me laugh harder.

"I didn't finish school, true, but I'm your supervisor BITCH" "But in 5years time after my degree, you'll be working for me NIGGGAAA." I said with proper excitement. He started laughing and I laughed with him. This guy gave me jokes, by trying to crack jokes. "Derek with all this human rights shit, you've lost the ability to par. Damn what happened. Your black my g, it should be in every cell of your body, o yh I forgot, you cells contain the hormone 'D' ". "What's hormone D?" he asked thinking he was going to learn suttin. "Hormone dumb!" I replied running across the road to the bus stop. He was chasing after me. he caught up to me and had me in a head lock. He started rubbing my forehead with his fists. "Gehlorf you creep...you outcast to society! You imbecile, Derek let me GOOO" "No, say sorry," "Say sorry." I replied back. "What?" "You said say sorry and I took that shit literally. Derek please people are watching and my thong is riding up my ass." "Hmm, mans gonna have to confirm that!" "DON'T U DARE" he started creasing. He was so dumb sometimes. After a very long time he gave up and found better things to do with his time. "dickhead!" I said then run for my bus. He was bare grinning at me and I didn't understand why then I realised the bastard had my oyster. I run off the bus and chased him for it. He could RUN! "Derek come back here now!" "Rayne you weren't lying when you said you were wearing a thong! Is your favourite colour red or suttin cah you were wearing red thongs yesterday aswell." "You creep!" He laughed. "I had to see for myself man. You have a batty doh!" "Derek you are a pedo! Lol, gimme my oyster." He was still running with it and he started dodging behind cars. I eventually got tired and gave up. "that's how I know you unfit, you've been running for 5mins and your going on to say your having a heart attack." "No, I'm saving my energy for later on. If you catch my drift." I replied winking at him. He started laughing. "Speaking of which there's this jezzy I must lash! Come get your oyster." "Erh! Yuck." I got my oyster and he asked for a hug, it was going good until he started touching up my bum. "Derek omygosh! Get off me. Your perverted." "Nah, your bum is just the most amazing thing! Does it weigh you down?" he asked proper serious. I started laughing my arse off. This shit was too funny. I released myself from him and waved him bye. He waved back and I finally got on my bus. Proper excited cah I was going Andre's yard. I found myself getting horny on the bus. I got there finally! I couldn't even wait. I pressed the bell and it almost opened immediately. He was smiling at me. He let me in and I went straight upstairs. Fuck the dilly dally I was on it. I got into his room and sat on the bed. Then I clocked. "Andre! You got a KING SIZE bed?" "Uh-uh... I got it especially for today." I grinned at him. I sat on the bed staring at him and he stared back. Then I started grinning again. He smiled. He came closer and I laid on my back with him getting un top of me. He started kissing me and I kissed him back. He started removing my clothes. "Hurry man." I said. He started laughing. "You tha boss baby." He said in a PROPER American accent. Woi! His voice, eyes, mouth, hair, everything did something to me. It was his voice especially, his eyes aswell. I looked at him, from his ear piercing to his long hair which had grown again and the shape-up that followed it. I loved him. I clocked I could never get tired of him because, he was like the sea. I hadn't explored enough to get bored! "How you want it?" "I wanna lose my voice." "Hmm, you dirty girl!" I started laughing and he continued to speak. "Ima make you scream my name mami." "Ooohhh, I like it when you talk like that" He grunted then took off his clothes and reached for the condom without being told to! Awww, I was proud of him. He inserted and I wrapped my legs around him, my finger nails digging into his back with him biting my lip telling me how much he loved me with every stroke. Nah, it was too much and I started encouraging him by telling him to go faster and shit.

He stopped and chuckled cah sometimes, I really talked dirty in bed. "Uh- yeah De, go harder!" I said tryna open my legs wider. "So I aint deep enuff?" "nahhh" "Ok, your wish my command." He actually took harder to some next level. "Ahhhh! Shit. Deeeeee! O shit. O shit o shit." I said tryna get that breath he had stolen of me back. I was like that for like another 45minutes. When we were on break, I was lying on his chest drawing imaginary lines, thinking about our lives and everything that's happened. Wow, I could write a book. "What you thinking about?" he asked me lifting up my head and kissing my forehead. "Us." "What about us?" "All the stuff we've been though and ting, I cant believe your still here and I'm still with you! De-Andre I love you beyond reason." "Good, cuz I love you beyond all seasons." I laughed. "Why you tryna rhyme with my babes?" I asked "Cuz I can baby! Anyway tell me what you were thinking about...I like hearing your voice. Its soothing." I smiled on his chest and he somehow clocked I was smiling. "I know your smiling, but its cool, Ima keep you smiling for the rest of your life, now talk to me darling." "Ha-ha Giggs! Anyway, I was thinking about you leaving, I thought you were dead! The whole Priceless thing, me cheating, being dumb as usual and everything that came with it! Just so much bullshit, its funny cah I'm about to turn 17 and this shit happened over a space of 2years." "You forgot something." He said in a low voice. "What?" I asked tryna think of suttin. "The fact that with all that drama, you bought into this world 2 beautiful children and with that, you made me find true love." "AND THAT!!!!!!!!" I said getting excited. I moved from his chest and kissed him. I loved this guy too much! We had been thru too much shit to let our struggle go to waste because of some silliness. Nah never that! I was riding with him all the way. A few days later I was at home revising when I got a call from Dwayne. "Dwayneeeee!" "Why you acting excited when you never call me." "Sorry babes, just busy and ting! You know I love you really." "Hmmm, how you been doing?" "Good you know, for once everything seems perfect for me. I'm excited." "Good, good, what were you doing before I called buffoon?" "I was-" then I clocked what he had called me. The sucker! "I'm a buffoon yeh? You asswipe, suck my dick!" "Lol, wanker, you don't have dick! And plus I know you want me." "I want you yeh?" "Yup" "You are DEAD OUT!" We both started laughing when my babies started crying. I run up the stairs on the phone. "You sound like your fighting someone" he commented. "Nah, sorry, I'm running up the stairs the twins are crying." "My niece and nephew you mean." "Kmt, when you gonna start making your own family babes?" "Soon enough, I'll bell you back cuz I know your busy." "So caring!" "About hell no! I'm locking off cuz she's downstairs wearing that glow in the dark shit again! It's like she's tryna make me fuck her everyday with that shit." "Err! I didn't need that part of the info. That is grimey. Straight up." "Oh she's calling. Bye Rayne! The second love of my life." "Hmm, we'll discuss this later. I should be the first I'm your bestfriend for fucks sake" "Some bestfriend." "Whatttt?" "Joking." "I thought so." "What?" "Nuffin." "Good girl, now bye. Look after my niece and nephew yeh, tell them uncles working hard on bringing them some cousins to play with." "GO AWAY. BYE"

He laughed and we both locked off. He was so go silly sometimes. I walked to them and was surprised that this time it was Leesha not De-Andre crying. I was impressed with him and I told him that. He seemed to understand and smiled. I saw his lil teeth that were growing awww. He was so cute. I looked at Leesha. Then clocked why she was crying. Ah! "You've poo poo'ed Leesha haven't you?" she smiled. And I went to get the pampers and baby wipes. I somehow got them both downstairs and let De-Andre wander about in the playroom. My dad had converted like an ex spare room no one went in to a play room. There were so many toys there it was unbelievable, obviously I weren't buying the toys. Their main source of funding came from De-Andre, my dad and Dwayne. I mean, Lil De's wardrobe had swagger. Real talk, De-Andre had got them both signature crep from the U.S and I was kinda jealous still. What ever happened to spoiling me? I changed her and watched and got tired as they went into destruction mode. I was holding Leesha and she smiled at me. I smiled back then she did some next baby giggle. I started laughing. I looked over at De-Andre's hair. I had decided not to cut it and it pissed off my mum big time. She wanted him to shave it off. But I liked it. She complained that it made him look like a girl. I thought it made him look even more adorable. Leesha kept smiling at me then the little girl slapped me and it hurt. "Ouch! You just hurt mommy." I said. She laughed. They went to bed finally and I went to sleep aswell on the sofa. I woke up and smelt my mum was at home cuz the food I could smell. Jheeeze. I walked into the kitchen and she smiled at me and we buss convo for a bit. She had me laughing cuz she was so rude. She had just called my uncle an ugly player and I couldn't get over it and kept laughing.

A month after our "I love you, I wanna marry you" bullshit, things started changing again. I was jammin with De-Andre when he got a call. For the first time in a couple of months, he walked out of the room. I was thinking "WDF". He must be up to something. But I chose to keep my mouth shut. I went house eventually because he seemed preoccupied. I got home and my mum wanted to talk to me. "Sit." I sat down. "We're going to Ghana for a year, you can go and live with your cousins if you want but I trust you enough to know you can live by yourself." "What? Nooo! You cant go anywhere." "Shut up and listen! Anyway, do you want me to take the twins with me or not?" "No-Yes-Nooo!" "Make up your mind." "No, but mum who's gonna help me out?" "Your friends, and you also have family here." "But mum-" "You have to learn to be independent. You said they cant come with us so, therefore their staying with you. I gave you a choice." "Mum, you cant go." "I've been postponding it for a long time because you, because I've been helping you with the kids, but I cant do it any longer. I have to go." "Mum, when you going?" "Next week." "WHAT? You haven't given me enough notice, who's gonna pay the bills and stuff?" I asked. "Yes, that's the other issue." "ISSUE?" "Yes, listen..." "Ok." "This house is going to your auntie Mary, your dad has bought you a flat a few minutes from here" "A FLAT?" "No, not a high flat, just a flat. A 2bedroom flat." I started getting happy. But then I clocked something. "Who's gonna pay the bills?" She showed me a red bank card. "All the money is in here. If it runs out your father will put more money on it. You don't need to worry, he will pay the bills from Ghana, all you need to worry about is who's gonna do the shopping. Your aunt Mary had volunteered to look after the twins." "NO." "No?"

"Sky can babysit them when its time... you cant just do that! I hate her, mum you know that." My mum started laughing. "Because she scolded you when you were 8? "Yes...she had no right to hit me." My mum laughed harder. But I really didn't find anything funny. "One week mum! I'm going to miss you!" "Unfortunately I will too!" Then we hugged. Then we both started crying. Some emotional movements! My dad came in with the fattest grin. Cuz he was going back to his homeland he thought he was a g. Bussing shadez and ting. I wondered something. "Dad?" "Yes..." "Where's that car you got me for my birthday?" "Somewhere, when you decide you want to learn to drive, and pass yout theory test, you can call me and I'll arrange for you to get it." I scrunched up my face and they both laughed. I went upstairs to holla at the twins. They were sleeping. I went into my room and started packing. I decided to call Jade to help me out. "BITCH!" "Nice way to answer your phone alie Jade?" She laughed. "Whats popping doh my darg?" "Nuffin, whats popping with Dwayne's dick ina your pussy on a daily?" "Fuck that! Its now hourly man." "Ergh, I didn't even need to know them way there!!" We both laughed. "Jade come help me pack!" "I knew it!" "Knew what?" I asked completely baffled. "You got caught fucking Andre innih." "No you fool!" "Oh shit, you mum threw you out cuz you came home late?" "No man!" She laughed and I explained it to her. "Wow, that's amazing, your own house... that's hard! I rate that, I'm on my way fool. Bess go downstairs and started cooking that jellof rice cuz I'm starving!" "Who told you I can cook?" I asked. She laughed. "Sorry bubz, I forgot you cant, ask your mumzy then, I feel sorry for you! Your gonna starve to death you cant cook and your going to live by yourself, that Chinese shop next to you is going to suffer." "FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" She laughed and locked off. I walked back downstairs. "Mum is there any jellof rice in the house?" "Yes, I'm preparing some now..." "Oh okay...bye Jade's coming over." "I haven't seen that girl in ages!" My mum said tryna ask English. "Ages mum?" I started laughing and she conked me on my head with the wooden spoon. "Ouch." "Did it hurt?" she asked. "Yes." "Good" she replied laughing. I went back upstairs and after a few minutes Jade walked into my room smiling like something was extremely funny. "Whats the matter with you?" I asked her. "So African man! Matter you know. Anyway, nah its just I'm thinking about you looking extremely anorexic because your going to die of starvation." "Fool, help me pack man!"

After 4hours of straight packing, we were lying on my bed tired as fuck. "I didn't realise I had so much stuff." "Erm, I did! I realised it when you asked your dad for a 6th suitcase." "Ha-ha...Jade?" "Go on, what happened." I laughed. "How did you know? Anyway, I was with De today and someone called him and he went out of the room..." "So?" "he hasn't done that before, he hasn't done that in ages! I think he's up to something." "Like what?" "What if he's cheating?" I asked. "Cheating? Nah, Rayne allow it! Look how he's been there for you through everything you cant be assuming these things now!" "I know, I even feel like a prick for asking sorry." "Its cool, cuz I understand, you shoulda asked him doh!" "That's the thing. I left his house because he was STILL on the phone... and he didn't even look up when I said bye." "Rah, it must be suttin big..." "Your feeding in my paranoia stop it!" She laughed lightly. "Sorry love." Three days later, I had half moved into my "flat" I felt really happy saying that. My parents were getting happier and happier each day. The fact that they were going to Ghana for a whole year musta been some HIGH point in their lives. I was out shopping for curtains when my phone went off. It was Jordan! I felt myself smiling. "Jordan! Hi baby!" "Wag1 Rayne wot you saying" I explained the situation to him. "Deep, so you need help?" "Yupp...cuz I cant carry these things home." I said grinning. Home, my own home. Shit! "So where you at still?" he asked. I told him. "I'm about 10minutes away from there." "Jordan?" "Yup." "Since when did you drive?" he asked. "Since my cousin robbed a nice car." He replied. I laughed aswell. I bought the curtain and waited outside for him. This NICE car rolled up tinted and ting, I got happy thinking it was him. But it wasn't. I waited some more and finally some Mercedes stopped right in front on me. "Get in." "Ha-ha, you think your 007 alie, your hilarious," I said to him. He grinned. "Nice car." And I weren't lying. He helped me put the curtains in the back and I got in the front. "Looking peng as always Rayne." "Nah, don't try it I look like a wreck, I aint slept in like a day." "Well you look and stay sexy all day everyday. Swear down!" "Thanks love. O yer I aint even told you were I live" "Better start now g!" We both laughed and talked until we got into my flat. He took it and fixed it for me. I was happy cos someone else had done my dirty work for me. We were in MY living room talking and shit. When him liking me came up. "So Rayne you still on your other man?" "Yupp, but when he fucks up, your next." I said bussing joke. "I hope that's soon." "JORDAN!" "Sorry but I want you alie, and you like me but you love him." "Yup." "Man you don't rate me." "I do, a little" "What?" "Nuffin!" I said and started running up the stairs. "Come back here if you're a bad girl!" "No, cuz I aint bad I'm good." I went into my room and tried to shut the door, he opened it with some strong force then looked at me and the

bed, grinned and pulled up his sleeves. I tried to hide somewhere. "Look Jordan, we're both adults, I'm sure we can come to a possible solution." His smile grew. "No, no you filthy cow, not that type of solution! Come on man!" "Oh, don't worry I'm coming on" We both laughed. "Jord you ARE filthy." "But you wont let me show you!" he said. We both jammed on my bed. Talking again. "I aint liked someone the way I like you Rayne its emotional. I'll always be here for you you know that innit?" "Aww, course I know that! I love you too, but not in that way, I just cant stop loving De-Andre. Its like its impossible." "True love?" he asked. "Yes I think so, I swear if he leaves me I dunno what I would do." "You would call me, I would come and we can work suttin out." "FOOL. If we split you would be happy innih." "Sorry to say but yes, I'm hoping for it, but in a way I don't wanna see you sad, I would hate it." "Awww...your going all sweet on me?" "Bes believe it." We both laughed. 3days later, my mum was gone and I was on my own! I missed her already. Jade weren't shit, she kept making things worse by saying, "if that was my mum boy, I would die, and I aint got children" I locked off on her one day and she called back laughing. I locked off again. Someone called my phone. It was Sky. "My darg!" I said into the phone. "Where are you?" she asked. "Oh shame I moved house." I gave her directions and in less than 10minutes my bell was ringing. "Children, wait here ok." I said to them both. As soon as I left the room I heard crying. Gosh! "Sky!" I said hugging her. She hugged me back and I had to explain why I had moved and everything. I was on hibernate from college for a bit, I now attended night classes to catch up. We were in the living room and I had Leesha on my lap and she was holding on to lil De. "Rayne there's something you should know..." she said. "Go on..." "Well, There's this one girl called Indya yeah..." "Go on" "And see before when Dre went America for bare long, when you were ill and ting..." "Yupp I remember, I don't exactly think I will ever forget." "Well, there's something he didn't tell you and I want you to know because hes trying to sort it out and its not working." "Go on, please go on." I felt myself getting scared. What did he do? What did he do? "Well, he dun a ting with someone called Indya." I felt myself crying. Tears in my eyes I felt numb. "Shhh, Rayne you have to listen to me. ok?" I nodded and she continued. "So yeh, he locked it with her, but she obviously didn't get the message, and she's kinda in this country" "Where's she staying?" I asked. "That's why I came to you." "Sky, what's going on?" "She's staying with him and Dwayne wanted me to tell you she's tryna move to him again." "SHE WHAT?" I shouted. Leesha looked at me frowned then started crying. I got up and scooped her up. "Shh, mummy didn't mean to shout." "Sky could you please look after them PLEASE I'm begging you." "Rayne. On one condition" "Yup" "Don't come back here crying because you've gone mad and dumped Andre again. Cuz there's a certain amount of times he can take you back." "Yeah ok, I understand" I run upstairs looking for any shoe to put on. I found one and put it on running back downstairs. "Thank you Sky. I cant thank you enough." "Just go and hurry back before they start crying on me. I'm inviting Jade and Dwayne over." She said. "Go ahead. Bye De-Andre bye Lesh!" I said kissing them on the cheek and running out of the house. I run to the bus stop with bare thoughts storming through my head. He would never play me like that. But somehow my head wasn't reassuring me. I got to house still paro. What if their having sex? What if I

disturbed something. I got scared and didn't want to knock on the door. Eventually I did. I heard laughter behind the door and some stranger opened the door wearing her panties and bra. WHAT? I tried to be civilised. "Is De-Andre in?" I asked her. "Yeah, hold up a sec." she said in her American accent. "Yo Dre, you gots a visitor baby love." Baby love? He came to the door and I was screwing him behind reason. That smile on his face DISAPPEARED quick time. "So this time you aint gonna let me in nah?" I asked. He cleared his throat and I walked in. I felt myself about to cry when I heard him zip up his zipper. I took a deep breathe. I was on my way to the living room when he diverted me to his bedroom. The lights were off in his house and slow music was playing. I had obviously interrupted something. We went into his room. "Is there something you want to tell me?" I asked him. "Who told you?" he asked. "That's the thing no one told me anything, so is there something you want to tell me cuz I came here to say wag1 to my hubby but some girl opens the door in her panties and bra laughing, calls my BABY babylove and my man, pulls up his zipper and thinks I don't see it. So De-Andre, is there something I must know?" I asked him. He looked stressed out. "Ite, she's my ex, I don't know why she opened the door in her bra and knickers, she's staying with me because she has no-where else to go." I decided not to go mad. FOR NOW. "Ok, sorry but De-Andre if you came in a room, with me and Priceless there jamming and me half naked you would be feeling cool innih." "Course not!" he said. "Don't play me cuz I've put everything I have into you. De-Andre if you don't want me anymore say so now, so I can get on and try and live my life" I said to him. "Nah baby girl don't sweat it. Your all I have." "Sorry right about now it doesn't feel like it." I got up ready to go home. "Where you going?" "Home, I was interrupting something..." "Ahh, I'm so sorry you had to find out like this. I was going to tell you." "When?" I asked. "Soon." "Move from me." I said to him. But he didn't. He brought his lips closer to mine. "De-Andre goo..." I whispered against his lips. Argh! Why was I so in love with him? He started touching me everywhere. "Ah shit!" I said. He pushed me onto the bed. Then I remembered where I was. "We cant..." "Why?" "Because your EX is in the house." "So? She knows she's my EX" Then I thought about it. Maybe it wasn't a bad idea, then the fool can stop tryna move to my man. He took off my top and the door opened. I told her straight. "Get out. Cant you see we're busy?" She went back out screwing me. "That wasn't nice..." "I'm not nice De-Andre" I said to him. He chuckled and took hold of my belt buckle. I shrugged off my trousers and soon he was working it. "Ah shit! Andre..." I moaned. I got re dressed again after we finished. I was in a better mood. That didn't mean I was happy. He kissed my cheek and I felt weird. I wanted to stay over but couldn't. It was already 9 and I had to get home and relieve Sky. "Bye..." I said to him. We walked out of his room and he led me to the door, she had put suttin on, another short skirt and a belly top. She was really pretty I couldn't deny that. I hugged him again and I saw her grinning bare. I screwed her and said bye to him. I was walking back home when I clocked something. I had been left hanging like a jezzy. And if he wasn't up to something, he would have given me a lift like he ALWAYS did. I couldn't believe it, I feel like a lash and dash, cah she was the one in his house and he had just fucked me and literally thrown me out of the fucking house. I got home feeling pissed off. I opened the door and went inside to find the living room door closed. I opened it to see Sky and Dwayne sitting there talking. They both looked at me and the tears in my eyes. I just stood there crying like a baby. Sky came to hug me. "Shhh," I eventually calmed down and explained what happened.

"Fuck him!" Dwayne said. I was now baffled. "He's lying to you." Dwayne said. "WHAT?" I asked. "He fucked her yesterday, she told me, she thinks we're friends. She fucking told me." "Oh, so I was interrupting something..." I whispered almost to myself. I felt myself crying more and more. "What can I do?" I asked. "Nothing." They both said at the same time. "She's just one of those persistent girls and he cant resist her. Rayne you've got a war on your hands. Either you fight for him or forget him seriously" "But, I love him." I said to them. "I dunno what to say to you except I know he loves you, but she's a witch." I laughed at the mention of witch. "What are we going to do?" Sky asked. I smiled. I liked the fact she said "we" not "you." But on a reals. What the hell was I going to do? I just got him back and I weren't on loosing him but at the same time, I'd had enough of us breaking up. Maybe it was the best for all of us. Dwayne and Sky stayed for a bit longer and kicked. I couldn't sleep so stayed up the whole night and cried. I didn't know who to call so I decided to call Jordan. I didn't know whether I was making a mistake or not. It was like 3 in the morning. "Jordan?" "Rayne what's wrong?" "Could you come over please..." He didn't ask why or anything he just came over. I heard the car and went to open the door still crying. He came in. "Shhh, don't cry man, shhh." "I-I-I think I've lost him, I dunno, Jordan its like my heart is being ripped into pieces, I cant do this." I said to him. With every ounce of energy I had left, I explained what happened. "He's a prick BLUD." Jordan said raising his voice. "Shh the twins are sleeping." "Sorry, he's a prick blud." He said again making me laugh. We were attempting to watch some late night tv. It was failing because my mind was preoccupied with thoughts of what he could be doing and what not. I found myself falling asleep. I was in deep sleep when I felt all the warmth disappear. I woke up immediately. "Jordan?" I asked. "Ah, shame I was about to go cuz you fell asleep innih." "Noo please don't go. Please." "ite, I'll stay with you, but you need to get yourself into bed." "Sleep with me please." I pleaded. He smiled and took off his creps. "Thank you." I said to him. I really appreciated him. We both went upstairs and he laughed whilst I tried to look for my pj's. I needed to fix up my bedroom big time. I finally found it, but like some weird curse, it was one of them "I'm out to seduce you" pj's. Jordan's grin was a lot. I started taking off my clothes. "What you doing?" he asked curious "Getting changed." "So you don't mind that I'm here?" he asked. "Nope, this is how I feel about this...I go swimming like this alie? With people watching me so, like bra and knickers are nothing to me" "Fair enough, and with your body..." he made me laugh. I got into my bed and it was cold to begin with then I clocked he was sitting on the bed. "What you doing?" "Sitting on the bed." "No you are not! Get in here. I trust you." "You shouldn't." "But I do." He smiled and started taking off his clothes. He stopped mid way. "Do you mind?" he asked. "Nah, go ahead," I said. He had a body on him. He stripped to his boxers and I started inhibiting some evil things in my head. Ah shit. I held myself back. I couldn't do that to him. He got into the bed and held me close. I closed my eyes, I felt so safe with him. "Jordan?" "Yup" "Your body is smashing." He laughed.

"Nah serious fucking hell, that's a nice body..." "Don't be saying them things there Rayne, we wouldn't want any thing to happen now would we?" "O yeah we wouldn't." I said. "Jordan?" "Your majesty." He said. I laughed and punched his chest and he held me tighter whilst chuckling to himself. "Thank you soo much, I mean you coulda been doing something and I called and you came! Thank you soo much, I promise I'll p-" I didn't get to finish my sentence because he put his lips on mine. He withdrew as quick as he started. "Why'd you do that for?" I asked. "To shut you up. I told you from day dot. I'll always be here for you no matter what. Through out anything and this is anything." "Awwwwww." I said and started crying. "Your gonna be such a nice husband to some lucky girl" "why not you?" he asked. "Because, I'm in love and no matter how hard I try to fall out of love with the fool I cant. I dunno what he's done to me. I mean I admit in the past I was a prick, loose, over loose, a whore, slut, slag EVERYTHING, and yet he took me back. Maybe this is payback this is karma." I whispered to him. "No because he should accept the fact that you forced yourself out of a habit in order to be with him, he should appreciate the fact that it was hard for you to do so. You could have chosen Priceless but you didn't, if he LOVED you like he claims, he wouldn't be fucking you about." Jordan said sounding angry. I smiled. He cared too much! "But Jordan, he took me back." "He left you and came running back and you picked up where you left off no questions asked, he owes you. He's a fuckin dickhead." "And the father of my children." I said. "Yeah and that. I wanna punch him in his fucking face argh!" I felt Jordan's heart beat faster. "Jordz, please calm down." He did. "This is my war remember." "No this is OUR war, Rayne as long as I'm alive no man is gonna take you for a prick! No fucking way." "Arr man, I shoulda met you 1st man! You wouldn't have treated me like that." "Believe that!" I hugged him tighter and eventually fell asleep. I woke up to an empty bed and a note. "Had to go home quickly, Be back soon! Jordan x." I smiled and saw the time. "9:00" Shit shit shit. I was still tired but shit. I run into the children's room and they were not there. I got scared and run downstairs. I run into my kitchen to see Dwayne holding Leesh and Sky holding Lil de. "Who let you in?" I asked baffed. "That boy Jordan, he's quite sexy you know...where do you find all these model looking men from?" Sky said. I explained the circumstances under which he was forced to stay under my roof. "More bad news, which is why we're here." Sky said. "Go on..." "He's coming to see you today." "Oh." "To talk about what?" I asked. "Indya told him some bullshit story about how when she was little her mum run away with her cuz her dad found a new girl... you can see where this is going alie." Sky said. "O yes, I can fucking see. Omygosh, what the HELL? Sorry what? I'm going to run away with my twins? For what reason. See now before I was pissed now I'm fucking angry. Me and that fuckin bitch, watch its me and her. Prick I'll fucking show her run away." "Told you she would do this" Dwayne said to Sky "But we had to tell her.." Sky replied. "Thank you Sky, I love you thousands!" I said to her. "Its Alrite dear." It was a Monday anyway and I could drop Jah and Lil De off at Nursery. I quickly got ready and me, Sky and Dwayne dropped them off at nursery.

We were now heading towards Andre's house. I was fucking ready, this bitch was getting it. "Don't do anything irrational." Sky said. Fuck being rational. "Okay I wont." I replied. Dwayne opened the door, I knew De-Andre wasn't at home. I stormed into the guest bedroom to see this bitch in her bra and knickers with MY MAN between her legs bare grinning cuz she was doing his hair. I took time out to admire his body and went back to going mad. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?" I asked. "Nothing." De-Andre replied getting up. I walked downstairs and into the kitchen. I went thru the drawers looking for something. A-ha! I picked up the knife and headed back upstairs again. Dwayne clocked me before I got there. "Nahhhh Rayne..." "No, I cant see she's taking everything away from me... I cant just sit back." I said crying. "But with you in jail you really will have nothing" he said back. I gave him back the knife and collapsed on the stairs feeling absolutely helpless. I decided to have a proper conversation with him. To find out what exactly was going on because, I may have been jumping to conclusions. I went into his room and knocked. "Yeh" his deep voice said. Oh Lord God why am I in love with his boy? I walked in and he was naked. I tried not to stare cum'on but o gosh, I did I felt myself getting hot, bad sign! STAY ON TOPIC. I reminded myself. He eventually put some clothes on and I stayed at the door. He watched me with a blank expression. "De-Andre, I'm gonna ask you this one time...and don't lie to me." "Go on." "Did you FUCK that bitch?" I asked. "Yes." "Why?" "I don't know." "When last did you two have sex?" "This morning." "Did you think about me when this was going on?" I ask d. "No." "What do you expect is going to happen now?" I asked him. "I'm in love with her." He said to me. My heart actually broke there and then. I walked out of his room and straight into hers. Her back was turned to me and grabbed on her hair started punching her in her face. She may have been taller but damn, this bitch couldn't fight for shit. She was screaming and I didn't care. I wondered how much more he would love her if she was dead. Fucking prick. "RAYNE LEAVE HER!" I heard Dwayne say. He pulled me off her and I watched her face and her room. I was happy with myself cuz I had smashed her face into her make-up box and that thing was hench! I was bare smiling to myself and walked out of the house not looking bac

k. My phone went off. I turned it off and went home. He loves her? Was all I kept thinking. How can he love her? How the fuck can he love her...but he said he loved me. I cried and cried holding my belly, I couldn't eat, I couldn't do anything, the pain I felt inside was too much to bare. Then came a sharp knock on my door. I ignored it and it got louder. "Ms Nelson!" a voice said. That was not Jordan, Dre or Dwayne. I went to open the door and my mouth DROPPED. I was in shock. "Are you Rayne Nelson?" they asked. I nodded dumb struck. "I'm sorry to say this but Ms. Nelson your are under arrest for suspected GBH you do not have to say anything..." "Arrested?" I asked in shock. I felt the cold metal on my skin. I was in awe as I was put into the police car. Under arrest? De-Andre had snaked me? I was in the car watching as the world swept pass me. I got thrown in a cell after I handed in all my details and shit. They even took my finger print. Ah shit, I felt utterly useless. The fed that had arrested me kept looking at me licking his lips. PEDO. I was in the cell crying my eyes out when the door opened. Thank God because it stank in there. "Interview time" the pedo said grinning. I screwed him and I got hand cuffed again. I got shoved into the interrogation room. "Would you please state your name for the tape Ms Nelson." "Rayne Nelson." I said. The lawyer next to me looked decent enough. I wondered where he came from. He started chatting shit. "Yeah, I beat her up." I said plainly. "Now, could you charge me?" I asked looking at the lawyer. "So you admit to hitting the suspected victim continuously for a long period of time." "Don't try take me for a prick. I know my rights. I have just admitted to doing the crime, stop trying to make me dig myself into a deeper hole." I said and screwed him. "Interview terminated. 16:46." I got bailed by Dwayne and Sky. Who were looking worried to the max. I was wondering why. As soon as I got my bail orders etc. I went out and hugged them both. I had been detained for not so long. About 5hours. I walked outside and I aint gonna lie the shitty air smelled like heaven. "Rayne when I drop this yeh, PLEASE promise me your not going to go back and beat her up." "I promise" I lied. To go to prison was worth it if I got another shot at her fuckin face "She's been seeing De-Andre for longer than we thought. Its not just this last week she came." "What?" "She's been in England for 3months..." "He SAID that SHE HAD NO WHERE TO STAY" "Well obviously he was chatting shit." Sky said. "I swear I dunno what she's doing to him its like, he's changed, everything she wants he gives her...I aint ever seen him like that." "Her pussy must be gold plated" I muttered. They both laughed. "Where are the twins?" I asked. "Jordan and Jade are looking after them. That's another thing you need to know, he might try say he wants custody of the children." By this time, we were now in my house, I had showered and was sitting down fuming. Me in love with him was one thing. But him trying to take my children away from me was another. Fuck him! "So what am I gonna do?" I looked around and there was Jordan, Dwayne Sky and Jade. My homies. "No what are WE going to do. Your not in this by yourself Rayne." Sky said. I smiled at her. "Ok, I need a lawyer." "I've got you one already" Dwayne said. "Oh thanks." "Yeah, we can go and see her tomorrow she's really good." "Good good." I said. I still didn't understand the logic. "What is she trying to do exactly?" I asked. They were all silent. "Well, Rayne...she's tryna make your like a living hell and take EVERYTHING you have from you. Anyway I got good news." Sky said. "What?" I asked "Clara is coming with Destiny and Desire." "Ohh, isit?" I asked. "Yes and they hate her. Maybe he'll listen to Clara because she fuckin hates Indya." "Oh good..." I said. "When are they coming?" Jade asked. "In about 2weeks time. They are permanently staying and that's why Destiny and Desire hate her. Its because of her." Sky said. "Don't any of you have power?" I asked Sky and Dwayne. "I don't live in that house anymore." he replied. "WHAT?" I asked in shock. "I left, if he's blind, and doesn't want to see, I wont be the one who bares the consequences." Dwayne replied. The next day came and we were now sitting in the lawyers room discussing what would happen.

"If he wants to take this to court, what are my chances of getting custody of my babies?" I asked. "It depends." "On?" "Have you got a criminal record?" she asked. "I do now!" She looked impassive as she scribbled down everything I was saying. "In court can he bring up a case that questions your sanity?" she asked. I thought about it. FUCK!!!!!!!! He can. When we broke up, he can use the drinking, and smoking and the fuckin sex craze against me. And there were plenty of people that could vouch for him I nodded in defeat. Dwayne sighed. The lawyer looked defeated Fuckin fool! If I hadn't seen him in Hackney, and Dwayne wasn't related to him I wouldn't be in this shit. He had taken my life away at 15 and I couldn't do shit about it. Wait. Hold on. 15. I smiled. A VERY VERY BRIGHT LIGHT WENT OFF IN MY HEAD. "We had sex when I was 15," I said to her. I saw her smile. "So you were a minor when you had your first sexual encounter." "YES!!!!!!!!" I replied. "We can definitely use that. He will go down for a very long time." "DOWN?" I asked. "Yes he will be going to prison for some time." "But, I just wanted my babies, I don't want him to go prison..." I said confused. "Its not everyday I get a case like this, but in your situation, I cannot guarantee you will win the case unless you use what you have! I am very sorry." "Can I please think about it please?" I asked her. "Of course you can. You have my number and you can call at anytime." She said. "Thank you soo much!" I replied and left. I was now at home racking my brain. "Dwayne but I don't want him to go to jail." "Then your gonna loose your children." "DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT HIM?" I asked. "Course I do...just not right now, when he's acting up like this." My phone went off. It was him. My heart done that thing it always did. O God! I could never stop loving him. It was IMPOSSIBLE "Hello?" "Where at you?" he asked. "Home..." "But you don't appear to be there doh." He didn't even know I'd moved houses. This was what pressure and bullshit did to you. I explained to him and gave him my address. "Dwayne could you go please?" I asked. "Hmmm... if you need me call me." "Don't let Jade bring the twins back until I call her okay?" "Okay. Cool...if he acts up. Call me yes?" "Yes Dwayne love you." I said kissing his cheek. He walked out and I waited for him to come. A couple of minutes later my door bell rang. I anxiously went to open it. He was staring at me intently. I couldn't help but gawp at him. He looked sexier than he had the last time. "Can I come in?" he asked. LORD GOD HIS VOICE! "Um yeah sure..." I said letting him in. He smelt so nice. Just brushing part me got me going. FOCUS RAYNE FOCUS! I tried to remind myself what he was doing to me. But being mad at De-Andre was like trying not to drown in a storm. It was impossible. I was in after in taking my time. "We need to talk." He said. "Yes we do."

"Okay, I'm sorry for not telling you about Indya, and your wondering how can I be in love with 2people? Well I am." "Ok..." I said tryna put on that warrior persona. I was flopping. Cuz the tears gathered up on my face and I started crying. "Don't cry" "Nah see that's the issue, I have no choice but to cry, you've lied to me then now decide to lodge me. You must think I can switch of my feelings and feel pain when I want to alie?" He didn't say anything. "De-Andre, what's this nonsense I hear about you wanting custody of MY children?" "Huh? Dwayne right? Ay, mami check this." he said. O gosh, Rayne concentrate! I tried to say to myself. His phone went off and he frowned. I clocked it was Indya. "oh don't ignore it on my behalf. Pick up by all means." I said to him. He picked up. His face changed. And now he looked angry as the phone conversation went on. "You what?" he said. He locked off. "Why didn't you tell me you were arrested?" he asked me. "Cuz you never asked." I said back "SHE IS NOT GOING TO PRESS CHARGES I WONT LET HER." He said. "Thanks for that." I said dryly. He was silent. I don't know how or why. But next thing I know, he has me pinned against the wall and I'm madly kissing him. Why can I not resist this guy? We didn't make it up to my room and he fucked me on my stairs. "Ohhh De! O MY DAYS...SHIT!" I said screaming and shouting his name. When he was done he picked me up and I directed him into my bedroom. We were lying there in silence when I asked him. "Why did you lie to me Andre? You said she'd only been in England a couple of days." "Ah I don't know! Mami lo siento." He said. I knew what that meant cuz I had heard it before. " But that hurts doh! You don't understand how much I'm hurt right now. Anyway I'm telling you from now if that fucking dickhead comes between 2feet of me, I will kill her and if I don't, I wont mind making someone do it for me." "Si, " I STARTED BEGGING SPANISH "Do you comprende?" I said. He laughed and so did I. "I don't know why but De-Andre, I love you know." "Hmm, I love you too." "But you also lover HER! YOU CANT LOVE TWO PEOPLE ITS NOT FAIR," I said to him. "True." "Argh why do I love you?" "Why do I find it hard to stop loving you?" he said "Why do you wanna stop loving me?" I asked hurt. "Loving you means hurting you and I don't want to do that." "But your doing it anyway!" I said to him. "Hmmm, I'm sorry." "Why do you want custody of my children?" "Nah, I don't...Indya suggested it" "And your listening to her?" "Nah, yes, nah, I don't know!!!" he said. "Nahh...you better start knowing cuz your fucking about with my life and I aint feeling it." He didn't reply.

I wanted him to go out of my house and my life. But fuck! I loved this guy soo much.

I thought to myself, some things were just not meant to be. I couldn't believe this... I was going to do it. I was actually going to do it. I got dressed again and so did he. We just sat there staring at eachother. "Ite, you know what yeh, choose now." "What?" he asked. "I said choose...I've had enough...me or her simple tingz there." He didn't reply. "De-Andre I beg you get out of my house." "What?" "I said get out, cah obviously I'm a dickhead for you to be throwing me back and forth like a basketball. I've had enough, when your ready to call me wifey and Lesha and Lil De children come back until then I don't even wanna see your face. You make me feel like shit and I aint having it anymore...my children will and forever always be my 1st priority so anyone, ANYONE even their father that try get in the way, you just get a blank wall." I said to him. "That's how it is yeh?" he asked looking at me. I didn't even look back cah I woulda just fallen back into his arms apologising. I had to stay strong. "No, that's how you made it...from the day you fucked that fuckin witch, its always been like that." I said to him.

He walked out and I broke down. I had to stay strong. My front door opened and I heard Sky Jade and Dwayne. I smiled. My heroes! I walked downstairs and smiled at them. "What happened?" Sky asked looking suspicious. "I threw him out!" "Gwarrrrnn is that Rayne ye? Getting brave and ting!" Jade said jumping up and down. I tried to smile then started bawling again. "Or maybe not..." she said again. I laughed. "Nah, getting there." I said picking up Lesh. "Mumii!" We all looked at her in shock. "Lesh, say it again... say it again" I said getting proper happy. She had spoken!!! She didn't say it again but she had spoken and I got happy! "What you guys didn't hear what Dwani, she meant to say my name buh you lot heard it wrong" Dwayne said. We all started creasing at him. "Skeeen, she said Sky." "No, she said Jade." "Okayyy, she said Mummy man!" I said really excited. My baby said my name. Everyone looked at De-Andre. Waiting for him to say something instead he buss out giggling. "Awwwww..." everyone said. I was leaving his hair to grow since my mum weren't there to cuss me to cut it. Wohoo! 2weeks later. I hadn't seen De-Andre or Indya but I was coping fine! I missed him true, cried at times but when you got suttin more important than yourself in your life, you learn to accept bullshit and come to terms with it. I was getting there. I was coming back from work when I got a letter in the post. Okay. It was marked Magistrates. I'm intelligent so I realised it was from the courts. I read the letter in shock. WDF. I was shocked to say the least. As I finished reading the letter my door bell rang and I nearly missed it cah I was in so much shock. I opened the door and was even more shocked. A smile crossed my face and I jumped on him. "Jordan!!!!!!!!" "Oh, so someone's happy to see me..." "Shullup and come in." I said to him. We both laughed and he shut the door. "Sooo...what bring you to my house g?" I asked. "Aint seen you in time or heard from you." "Yeah, pressure of being a mother, going college and working getting to you." "You could ALWAYS bell me, I'm always willing to help man." He said to me. I smiled at him. Fuck he looked hot. No De-Andre but believe this boy was in his own league of sexiness. He could get my temperature increasing by certain looks he gave. Ah shit! We talked for long and he clocked the court letter and took it to read. Fuck! I watched his face. "Nahhhhh! That's fucked!" "Hmm...but its life doh...I have to deal with it." "No, that is taking shit to some next level...wdf is he doing?" "I dunno, I'm just waiting innih, I got an appointment with the lawyer Wednesday so we'll see where shit goes from there." We continued to talk and just jam until my door bell went again. "Who's that?" he asked me. "Sky with the twins" I shouted whilst going to open the door. My jaw dropped and I they smiled at me. "OMYGOSH LOOK AT YOU! YOU GROWN AND..." I said. "Wotss good Rayne?" Clara asked. I was too shocked. I just had this big grin on my face. I run and hugged alla them. "DESTINYYY!!!! DESIREEE!!!" I said getting excited. I was just bare smiling and lil De was looking at me with some "What's going on?" expression with his face. Even he got a hug aswell. That's how happy I was.

"Erm, all this is good ye, but could you let us in cah like..." Sky said talking about all the suitcases she had on her. I laughed and let them in. "Omygosh, when did you guys come?" I asked as I led them to the living room. "Yesterday but Clara was tired." Destiny said. I picked her hug, nahhh she was heavy so I put her back down whilst holding my waist. They all laughed. "Oh, everyone this is Jordan my VERY VERY good friend. Jordan this is everyone...That's Clara and them sweety pies are Destiny and Desire, De-Andre's daughters" I watched Jordan's face and laughed. "He's got time on his hands, fertilising eggs left ring centre". I started laughing. "And this is Leesha and Lil De and Sky" I said laughing. "Rayne you're an ultra neek" Jordan said. "I know them already!" he concluded. I laughed harder. I was so happy. I bathed the twins and they went to bed whilst I talked to Clara about the witch. Jordan had left cuz he had work. "Thanks bubz!" "Its cool...when you need me holla!" he said and shut the door. "He's very good looking" Clara said. My jaw dropped and I laughed. "Yea, Clara, I saw you checking him out" Sky said. We all laughed and Destiny and Desire looked at each other. "Wait, hol up, Desire, don't you find him nice looking?" "Yeaa, he ite..." "Itee? He's a lil more than that" "Fo'shoo. Desire yu trippin, that nicca is fineee." We all laughed at what Destiny said... "Language Destiny" Clara said. "But Clara, I said nicca!" "Hmm, still watch yo mouth." "Ite I hear you" she said looking down at her shoes. "Do you like Indya?" I asked them. They looked at each other and buss out laughing. "Nah she foul!" Destiny said. "When she came to granma's house she tried to make daddy leave me to take her to lunch." "Did daddy leave you?" "Yes then granma told him to rot in hell and called him an ole fool" I had tears of laughter. "I don't like her either." I said. "Rayne!" Sky said. "What?" "Allow baiting it to them" she said. "Their old enough to know." I said. We hated on Indya for like an hour and I was feeling good. I got hype, which wasn't a good sign. I kept cracking my fingers. "Don't think about it! She aint even recovered from the beat down you gave her" Sky said. "Beatdown?" Clara asked. "Rayne did her face some damage!" Desire laughed. "I hope that bitch like a taste of her own damn medicine." We all laughed. "Destiny why don't you guys like her?" "She make daddy be rude to us and she try spank me." she said looking pissed off. "She tried to hit them?" I asked in astonishment. Clara nodded looking pissed off aswell. "What happened?" I asked. "She said 'get yo skank asses in bed' and I say 'we aint skanky pshh, yo ass is skank' then she came to us tryna hit Desire. So we said, you aint our mama to be laying yo finger on us" "Rah..." We talked for long and the other twins feel asleep. "I bought the twins a few things" Clara said handing my that fat suitcase. "Omygosh, you didn't have to, aww, thanks so much!" I said hugging her. "Its all love girl! You know we all got you." Awww. That brought tears to my eyes. I hugged her tighter. They eventually called a cab and left. They were staying with Sky. I was at home by myself arranging stuff cuz I still hadn't organised all my things. I was going thru loads of things when I discovered my secondary school pictures. Rah! It seemed like tomb years as I looked at myself. Soo young and not worried about lives troubles. I remembered when my main aim was to have fun. And fun back then was fun. I used to love to fight, but at the same time, I was a 'good girl' at home, lying to my mum to meet manz and fuck. Wow, I was almost ashamed thinking about it but I had to look forward to the future. I looked at a picture of me and Jade, Dwayne, Keino and my ex best friend Cleo. Rah...I had completely forgotten about her. It used to be Rayne Cleo Keino Jade and Dwayne. Rah! I called Dwayne. "What's up Rayne?" "Dwayne...do you remember Keino and Cleo?" I asked him. "Rahhh, yeah I do! Fuck I even forgot about them. Fuckin hell...that's amazing how did you even remember them?" he asked. "Just going thru my things and came across this picture of us." "Erm, have you tried Facebook?" he asked. "Nooo!" "Well then...turn on a laptop and start looking Nigga!" "Ha-ha ok, I'll call you when I find it." "Nah, don't call tonight, erm, cah Jade's busy riding me." "NAHH DATS RAWWW MAN!" "HIII RAYNE" I heard Jade say. They both laughed and I locked off. I turned on my laptop and made a Facebook. Loads of people had invited me and I had to accept alla dem! Rah, omygosh...was all I kept saying. Everyone from primary and secondary, like most of the people I had forgotten. I was amazed and decided to try and sign on to msn for the 1st time in a couple of years. I thought my account woulda been blocked cah I hadn't been on it in so long. But it wasn't. Loads of people had added me and I saw my screen name and cried. "Rayne loves De-Andre forever and ever(L)" Wow, then my personal message made me crack up hardcore. "Fuck Mandy and her incest brother(*) oldah like Priceless(L) O wow. I WAS YOUNG !!!!!!! I changed it to "Hope, Faith and Love" before I went online. I had forgotten how to even do that. Rahtid! Times were hard for me! Loads of conversations popped up from long lost friends. Bloody hell. Everyone was asking "is it true you have

youts?" I had to copy and past their names and paste it to every single conversation. Someone was like "g2g" and I had to try hard to remember it meant got to go. I laughed at myself and stayed on msn for a long time catching up with peoples. I had forgotten how funny some people were. I was laughing through out the night. I woke up the next day, bathed the twins and dressed them up ready for their uncle to come pick them up. My phone rang. "Dwayne!" "Yeah, man, I'm fuckin stuck in traffic." "Ite, I'm giving you 5mins..." "KMT" He locked off. 15minutes later he was at my house screwing me. I laughed. "What's the matter?" I asked. "Nuffin, I don't even know why I'm screwing you know" We both laughed. Leesha was having some next laughing fit cah he kept pulling faces. She wouldn't stop laughing and I had to laugh aswell. "Uncle looks like Dobby from Harry Potter doesn't he?" she giggled again. "O yesss he doess...!" I said laughing. "NOT FUNNY RAYNE TOTTALLY INAPPROPRIATE" he said. I laughed harder. "Mummy looks like Snape doesn't she? O yesss she does!" he said laughing. I screwed him cah that hurt my heart. I soon made it to college and went to link up my chica. "Oi February wait up!" she turned around and screwed me and I laughed. I caught up with her and we walked to English. "So how's Priceless?" I asked. She tried not to smile. "He's fine..." "Awww, hows lil Rayne?" I asked. "Awww, she's fine aswell Rayne guess what?" "What!?" "She called me mummy" I gasped. "OMYGOSH!" "Yeah, I know, I didn't know what to say, I cried man..." "Was Price there?" "Nahh, but he told me how she keeps saying mummy then pointing at my picture." She said looking confused. "Awwww Val, I'm soo happy for you!" I said hugging her. "Don't ever in your life call me Val again" she said. I laughed. "Some granny name" she said murmuring. I laughed harder. English was dead, but Jordan kept us all alive with his stupid questions. His bredrins and himself kept bussin some hilarious jokes and we laughed even the teacher gave in and turned red with laughter. Lesson ended and we walked off to jam cah we had a free period. I told her the latest news in the Rayne House and she switched. Proper switched. "Come we got there now and kill her, Rayne I swear I'm on it." She said. I laughed. "Trust, I wanna do that too... but I wanna be the one beating the shit out of her." "Lets go now!" "Nah, he's at home, when he's not yeh, we'll pay her a visit" "IM ON IT! Fuckin Jezzy and omygosh, what does De-Andre see in her?" "She's wayyy prettier than me." "Rayne shut up before you annoy me aswell, your peng! How many times I have to tell you that, whatever she has, ima tell you now, you make it a million times better sweetheart!" "Thanks bubz! I feel a lil better." I replied. I loved this girl too fuckin much. "But that's fucked doh! Look how many chicks you've fought because of this guy!" "I know...I know...you cant help but fall in love with him doh!" "Yeh, I know what you mean baby! I hope you get thru this" "Same" We continued to talk for the rest of the hour and went off for Critical Thinking. I laughed cah V hated that teacher with an ultimate passion and I didn't understand why. "Why don't you like her?" "cah she's just IN YOUR FACE" everything I do or say she's just there its fuckin annoying" I laughed. College was done and I went off to work. "Dereeeekkkkk!" I said and jumped on him. "Ite, baby calm down, I know I aint been serving dick but damn, I see how your ordering" I laughed and punched him. He made me feel like I was 6years old...always demanding suttin and hugging him constantly. He was just that typer guy you could trust have fun with and at the same time love to death. He was my number 1!!! We got to working and had this circle thing where the "youth" could talk about stuff which happened. It was a group of 10people and rah their stories were emotional. Okay, I was going thru some drama but fuck! They had been through a lot. One girl had lost her whole family in an arson attack and lived in care. It happened 6months before but she was strong, she didn't even shed a tear as she said it, just told it... the last thing she said kinda caught me off guard... "But, I'm grateful cuz I've learned to be closer to people, discovered God, I'm working hard everyday to make my parents and my brother and sister happy, I don't know why what happened happened but I'm grateful that I'm still alive and I'll just take it a million steps at a time. The past is the past! I wont forget them but at the same time I wont waste my time dwelling on them." She said. I was astounded. Everyone was. She was only 14 and had been thru soo much. Afterwards I decided to talk to her, find out how she was going and ting. "Aaliyah, how's school?" "Finee, the boys are annoying and that tryna get my 'digits' apart from that its good." "Fine, wanna come McDonald's with me?" "You paying?" "Ah, black children these days." I said laughing. "Yeah since I got the money, why not spend it..." "Alie!!" we both laughed and we went McDonalds. There were loads of boys there...obviously my name and her's but I felt too grown which made me laugh. "Boomting! Excuse me, the girl in the white." "Aaliyah that's you..." I said to her. She laughed. We continued walking. This boy didn't give up. "What would you like?" the waiter asked. She ordered and I ordered. "9.98 please." "I'll pay" I saw a ten pound note come over my shoulder. We both turned to see the boy smiling. I could tell he was like 15 but he looked older. Aaliyah screwed him. He paid for it and we sat down to eat. He sat next to her. They made a good couple. "HELP ME" she mouthed. I laughed. "So what's your name?" he asked her. "I lost it." she replied. I laughed harder. I watched his mandem watching him, tryna see if he came out on top. If he did, I rated him cah Aaliyah was a tough cookie to crack. He laughed. "Mines Rayne by the way." I said to him before he asked. "Sup Rayne...I'm

Damien." "Hi Damien how old are you then?" "15 and you?" "16, 17 very soon" "So you got a man?" he asked. "Unfortunately I do" he laughed. "Hear what I'm saying Rayne yeh?" "Ite, go on" "I'm tryna move to your bredrin yeh, like she's beautiful like, I saw her and everything else disappeared like...but she's parrin man...what should I do?" I saw a smile creep up on Aaliyah's face. "I think you should keep trying innih!" "Ite, I hear that" He held her hand and said. "So beautiful, you captured my soul, I beg you bless me with your name..." "Okay man! My names Aaliyah!" "Ahh the name of an angel" he said to her. She laughed and he grinned. "Aww" He looked at her like he proper liked her. "So you know what I'm gonna say next innih" "Yeah yeah, can I have your number" Nope...I weren't gonna say that... I was gonna say, you have lovely eyes and me and you would make suttin nice" "What's suttin nice?" "Whatever you want it to be Aaliyah" I sat there and laughed at their conversation it was soo cute. My phone went off. "Dwayne what have you done to my babies?" "Nuffin, just calling to check on you" "Oh shammee, Ha-ha, yes, I'm fine baby thanks for looking out" "Hmm" "Go back to looking after my babies..." "Shullup bitch" "Why you swearing when their next you, isit cah she called me mummy?" I asked. He laughed. I eventually locked off. "Was that your man?" he asked. "Nah my best friend" "Arr seen do who's your babies" I swear down black people are getting nosier with every breath they take. Aaliyah laughed and so did I. "I'm a mum" "Swear down?" I nodded. "Rah, so whats her name?" "Ja'leisha and De-Andre" "Bumba! You av two?" "Ye, their twins!" We all laughed cah he was shocked. They exchanged numbers and he walked out with us. Awwww. He seemed genuinely infatuated by Aaliyah. I smiled at them and she grinned back. "Arrr boomting" I turned to see his manz grinning at me like there was no tomorrow. I laughed. I was their age but as I said before, I'd been thru allada shit which had made me mature and age beyond my 16years. "You guys gimme joke man!" I said to them laughing. Then they all followed us out. All 15 of them. I felt like royalty, about time! I needed a lil attention, I felt special and special made Rayne happy! Damien walked with Aaliyah whilst I chatted to the boys. I felt like my old self, bussin joke with the mandem like I used to secondary. Whoa and Woi! "So Rayne you got a man?" one of them asked. I nodded. "Arr that's fucked...what's his name?" "Trust me, you wont know him" "Why?" "You just wont." I said to them. "Nah just say it..." I couldn't, why cah I didn't see him as my man anymore, he was with Indya. "Erm, Jordan?" I said it like it was a question. "Why you sound unsure?" one of them asked. "Arr fuck it! I don't have a man" "See. I told you she was gassin!" "I aint, I do yeh, but its complicated, he's with someone else." "FUCKED" "I know, but hey that's life." They dropped us off and went their own way. Someone even got my number. Hpmh good! I needed to socialise with my own age again. I needed to feel like a child again. Even if it was just for a day. The rest of the day went good, I spend 2bills on food for over 20hungry mouths and gave Aaliyah some money on a sly. I hated to say it but she was my favourite! She was just soo cute. I went home happy. Dwayne dropped off the twins, they slept and I did some work and also fell asleep. The next day, same routine...this time I went lawyers. She said how we had a court case. The fuckin asshole had taken it to another level. But, she said how I had a 70% chance of custody cah I'd been doing amazing well and the fact that I'm able to cope after my mum and dad kicked showed I'm was a good mum. I decided we weren't gonna use that minor ting no more cah then it woulda brought about other bullshit... As long as his family were on my side, I was definitely winning the case. I didn't go college that day and decided on another makeover. I went shopping for new clothes and went hairdressers again. I sat there for ages thinking about what I wanted. I needed a change in my life...do or die. "Cut it all off." I said. "Your hair?" she asked. "Yup, I want a Halle Berry look..." I said. "Are you sure?" "Yuppp" "I don't understand your hair is really nice and long, its also healthy you don't need to cut it." "I want to." I said plainly. A couple of hours later I weren't gonna lie, I looked extra sexy. Woohoo! Even the customers were silent. "Wow, it looks better than I expected...your hair loves you" "I know!!!" I said grinning staring in the mirror. My hair looked simply amazing. I walked out of the salon feeling like a new person... its funny what doing to your outside dramatically affects how you feel inside...in the weirdest way I felt free and I was loving it. Time to act your age...if only for a bit. "Ayyy boomting." I turned around. I needed some excitement in my dramatic life. Bring on the fun! "Yeah." I said to him. I saw he was by himself. This guy's brave. "Ahh your peng you know..." "Sorry to burst your chat up line bubble buh I actually know I'm sexy" well I felt sexy that moment in time. We swapped numbers cah he was younger than me and I found it cute. I found he was actually coming to my college... I was turning 17 soon anyway...I was planning on actually going ALL out. I called Jordan and looked at the time. 3o'clock. I had 3-4hours before Sky dropped off the twins. I decided to call Jordan. It rang for long and I was about to lock off when he picked up. "Rayne you ok?" he asked immediately. I smiled. "Why did it take you so long to pick up?" I asked. "Well you naughty child, whilst your bunking, I'm in college." "Ahhh...shit. Sorry lemme lock off." "Nahh, what did you want?" "You." He laughed. "Nah I mean, I'm bored..." I stated. "Where you at?" "Going home...oi, why aint you out of college yet? Its 3" "Coursework" "Ahh shit...English?" "Ye." "Tell her I'll send it to her tonight." "Ite...I'll come to yours when I finish yeh?" "Ite bye bye." "Bye babes." He said and locked off. Hmm Jordan... bright young man with his future on track, maybe I needed to give him a go. I cant believe this...I'm actually saying fuck De-Andre? I called his phone. "Hello?" a voice picked up. It wasn't the deep smooth sexy voice I was used to. "Ay is this that Indya chick?" I asked. "Yea and who are you?" she asked in her American accent. Okay then.

"Ite, give the phone to De-Andre." "Hell no, bitch is you crazy?" she said. I locked off. I quickly run home, dropped my shit and called V. "Valentine..." "Yeah boo boo?" "See when you said you were on it to fuck up that Indya girl yeh." "Yeah..." "I'm going to do it now and I thought about you...I knew you didn't wanna miss out on such an opportunity." "Definitely." She said back. "Come to my house." 30mins we were there. I text Jordan my keys were under my bin and that he should wait for me when he came. We were hyped up. I was gonna buss a corner when I saw De-Andre come out of the house and into this car. Yes! He looked soo peng wearing all white. Oh Lorrrddd! He dun whatever and drove off. "God loves me!" I said excitedly. V handed me all the rings on her fingers...and she was wearing 6. She knocked on the door and I went and hid. Someone came and opened it. "Are you Indya?" V asked. "Yeh and who are you?" V musta punched her cah next thing I know she's screaming. I walked in the house and we shut the door. I smiled to myself. I intended to beat the shit out of her. "Why you punch her for man?" I asked. "Cah I want to hit that screw of her face." I started laughing. She was holding her face. "Ite, I wanna talk to you before I bang you up...its that cool with you? Or do you want me to hit you first?" I asked. She screwed me to I slapped her and LORD did it feel good. "What the fuck do you want from me?" she asked. "An explanation as to why you decided to do some next voodoo shit to De-Andre you fucking good for nothing American slag! Go back to your country...we don't want you here..." I said to her. Valentine was laughing and chillaxin watching wag1. "Well my boo's coming soon anyway, so I suggest y'all leave cah if he come back shits about to pop off." I laughed and watched her rubbing her face still screwing. I didn't reply. We both looked at her. "Okay, I'll ask you once, and I wont ask you again, if I do, I promise you you will definitely end up in a hospital okay?" She didn't acknowledged but her face told me she had registered that I was serious. "How old are you?" V asked before I could even start but that was a good question. How old was she? "Girl I'm 20." "Rah Rayne she's like 3years older than us and we're about to bang her up like this...shits emotional." We both laughed. "Why have you been telling De-Andre to take custody of the children?" I asked simply. "Nooo helll no! that shit aint been me!!!!!" "Sorry come again..." "Yeeahh I aint been saying all of that shit..." I smacked her cah I was getting pissed. "Don't fucking lie to me!" "I aint lying. Quit hurting me, I aint been saying alla dat. Its this guy that keeps coming here..." "WHO?" I asked. "The Nigga called Jamal or Jamel I don't really pay him no mind" she said. "Sorry what?" "Yes he been coming here awhile telling De-Andre thangs..." "What you mean 'thangs'?" I asked. V started laughing and I screwed her. "Beg! Thangs you know!" "Shut up man!" I said grinning. "He say how you cheating wit a Nigga called Jordan and how you plan on moving out of the country." "Erm sorry but is De-Andre dumb blud? Who the fuck is this Jamel or Jamal guy? How does he know me?" "Bitch I don't know! All a bitch is saying is that, leave me and let me go cuz you killing my face" she said. "Okay, fine I know you aren't the one chatting shit--." "Thank you! Now I don't feel like the Snow Queen."BUT!" I said and paused. "But! You did take my man from me and get me arrested so like...I have to hit you" I punched her and she fought back this time. Yes finally! This was turning into something after all. She hit my hair. "Oi, Rayne your hair looks nice yu naah" V said to me. "You just clocked?" I asked pulling Indya's long hair. We fought for a good 5mins breaking the stuff in the house, until I kneed her belly dragged her hair and stamped on her face. I felt a bit bad for that one doh. Blood was everywhere and she was still screwing at me. This girl was gonna make me kill her. "Ay come we kick..." V said. "Yeah, its getting dodgy out here." We run out of the house laughing and went back to mine. I got a text from Jordan saying how he was still doing coursework. Poor boy. We were just jamming there when someone knocked on my door. "Ms Nelson? A voice came... "Ah shit, I'm about to get shifted again, I beg you get changed into my clothes V..." I told her. That way we both wouldn't get shift...then she could bail me before anyone found out...or at least I hoped. I wore some tarnished clothes cah true say I weren't wearing my nice clothes to sit in a fuckin smelly jail and die of smell pollution... I also wrapped my hair, new hairstyle and cell NO NO.

I went to open the door. Rah, only two of them? Last time three arrest me... "Erm what's up?" I asked casually massaging my wrists. "May we come in?" "Umm sure..." I let them in the house and V was in the living room watching television. "What is it?" I asked ona sly tryna figure out why they were there. "A young man has been stabbed a few hours ago and his name is believed to be Dwayne Knight...he unfortunately didn't survive and we need you to come to the hospital to identify the body... Rayne we need you to think, is there anyone who may have had a grudge on him?" Tears formed and dropped... Dwayne? Nahhhh...not my Dwayne. I blanked out. This wasn't happening...no, not Dwayne. I had just spoken to him the day before, no no no! He couldn't he wasn't, dead...he couldn't be... Dwayne lost? Gone forever? No, it cant happen, I mean Jade would have called and told me. It's not him. My phone rang... "-." I didn't speak. "R-R-Rayne, its Dwayne they said how he's dead. I don't believe them, his phones off when I call please say he's at you house...Rayne he cant be dead..." "I-I- no, erm, he...no...erm, he was...I was talking to him yesterday...he came to get the babies today, he dropped them off at Sky's...no, he's probably out somewhere..." I couldn't cry because he wasn't dead...it was a cruel joke... We both locked off the phone and the police man got a call and walked out. He came back in and his face was more serious than before. Then him and his colleague discussed something then they decided to talk to me and V again. "Ms, we're very sorry to add this to the already bad news..." "GO ON SAY IT!" "The body was also burned to the point of zero recognition, the only way to identify the body is to extract DNA from his mouth and match it to anything he may have owned. We are so sorry..." "WHAAATTTTTTTTTT?" I asked in shock. They didn't understand it...it wasn't Dwayne, everyone loved Dwayne. It wasn't Dwayne...they were imagining things... it was a case of mistaken identity. "How long will this DNA take?" V asked for me. "Its inconclusive, its up to the coroner as we are not aware of the extent of damage..." the other one replied... They got up to leave and I sat there shocked. No, not Dwayne. I sat there astounded. "V, it not Dwayne they got it wrong watch, he's gonna come and knock on my door again..." I said smiling. Everything was fine...Dwayne was alive and they made a mistake. I didn't understand what the fuss was about. "Hmm Rayne I think I need to call someone to look after you...I'll stay over..." "No, bubz its okay, I'm fine." I replied smiling. Everything was fine...they were just playing about, a huge mistake, Dwayne was alive. "Rayne are you sure?" she asked. "Yes of course... I'll call Sky to come over" I lied. She was asking too many questions. I couldn't be bothered to listen to it. She left and I called Sky. "Sky could you keep the kids with you tonight please." She was crying. "Yeh sure...Rayne are you okay?" she asked crying. Why were they crying? He was alive. "Of course!" I smiled to myself. I was absolutely fine. "I have to go now Sky thanks a million" I said and locked off. These people were going mad. I smiled. Dwayne was alive...people needed to just know that...how could they believe he was dead? My door bell went. Yay. I opened it and saw him. He walked in and sat down. "They all think your dead Dwayne!!! You need to tell them your not." "I will soon enough" "Can you believe it! They actually thought it was you!" I said laughing. He laughed aswell. "I have to go Rayne." He said. "Ok bye...don't die" I joked and we both laughed. He walked out and like 1second later my door bell rang. Maybe he forgot something. I opened the door to see Jade looking lifeless. She had been crying for long. "Jade didn't you just see him? he just left!" I said to her "Who?" "Dwayne...he just left. I thought he was you...I cant believe you didn't see him" I said to her. She cried harder and came in my house. These people were emotional... "Rayne what am I gonna do without him?" she asked crying her eyes out. "I cant do ANYTHING without him...Rayne he was my everything...I really loved him" "Why you keep saying was...he's still alive...I cant believe you didn't see him...he was just here a few minutes ago..." I told her. I didn't understand why she didn't seem to believe me... "R-R-rayne... he's dead" she stated. "Nooo...you people got it wrong! He just came here right now! Dwayne is not dead!" I shouted. I was now angry. Why didn't anyone believe me! "GET OUT!" I told her. "W-W-hat?" "You don't believe me! he's alive...I keep telling you he's alive and you keep telling me he's not! GO THEN. IF HE'S DEAD GET OUT OF MY FUCKIN HOUSE!" I said. She cried and walked off...she could barely walk. But why! He wasn't dead. We had just spoken a few minutes before. These people were weird. I was watching TV about an hour later when my door bell went off. I opened the door to see De-Andre standing there. O shit! He was here to talk about Indya. I let him in and continued to watch telly. I laughed as this guy in

the TV fell off the rope. I could feel him watching me in silence. "Is Dwayne alive?" he asked me. "Yuppp... I saw him! do you believe me?" I asked him. He hesitated. "Umm, Rayne don't you think you may have taken his death too hard?" he asked. "WHY DOESN'T ANYONE BELIEVE ME? HE'S NOT DEAD!" I said in anger. I was soo angry. He wasn't dead. Definitely wasn't dead. I had just seen him and we had talked. How could he be dead? The police, his family and everyone else were wrong. Dwayne Knight was alive and his cheeky smile still very much youthful. I smiled as I thought about it. "Rayne where did you see Dwayne?" he asked me. "He came in my house, then when he left Jade came...I even thought Jade was him" I told him. "How many seconds would you say it was before Jade came?" he asked. "Well, I would say 1second. Less than that actually!" "Hmm so how come Jade didn't see him?" "I dunno, she weren't looking properly..." "Rayne...are you okay?" he asked me again. "YES MAN!" I shouted. WDF...THESE PEOPLE WERE JARRING STRAIGHT UP! "GET OUT!" I said to him. "What?" "He's alive...piss off ... your taking the piss...trying to call me mad! I am not MAD!" I kicked him out of my house! Silly fuck! Someone knocked again and I knew it would be Dwayne. He came and sat opposite me and we watched TV together. Someone called my mobile. "Hello?" I said into the phone. It was Jade. "Yea..." "JADE HERE, LOOK YOU CAN TALK TO DWAYNE!" I said to her. He shook his head. "Awww erm, he said he doesn't wanna talk to you at the moment..." I said to her. I heard her crying and I locked off. WHAT THE FUCK! DWAYNE WAS ALIVE...THEY JUST COULDN'T SEE IT! I slept and woke up the next day feeling like a better person. I showered, creamed etc. I went downstairs and ate my breakfast thinking about my dream! What a madness! Wow, I couldn't believe it. Some crazy dream about Dwayne dead. I sat down and watched TV however my mind wasn't really on the television screen. I started walking forward then backward then laughed. O gosh! I was soo funny. I decided to clean out my closet like Eminem. I got some old clothes put them in the sink and put the bleach in it and set fire to it. My alarm went off. O yeh! I put out the fire and sat there bored again. My door bell went off. I went to open it and it was these two strange men. "What do you want?" I asked looking at them. "Are you Rayne Nelson?" I nodded. "May we come in?" they asked. "No, who are you?" they didn't reply so I shut the door in their faces. Strange men knocking on my door asking stupidness. My phone went off and I answered it. No-one...just heavy breathing then the person locked off and it was on private aswell. WDF was going on!? I walked out of my house and felt someone watching me. Oh kay then. I quickly walked to the bus stop. I got on the bus and turned around and saw the coldest blue eyes. I watched him as the bus went past. He had a scar that began from his left eye and trailed all the way to his mouth. He was wearing all black and was bald. He was the palest person I had ever seen. I sat on the bus shivering. Were all these people and things coincidences? I called Jade. "My darrrg!" I said into the phone bare laughing. "Rayne?" her voice sounded really bad like she had been crying. Aww. Maybe her and Dwayne had another fight or something. But I knew he would never make her cry! "Omygosh Jade what's wrong? Ah, I had this bad dream about Dwayne...can you believe I dreamt he was dead?!" She cried harder. "RAYNE IT WASN'T A DREAM! HE IS DEAD!!" she said. Well, shouted. The stress had gotten to her. "Your going mad!" I said to her and laughed. "He's not dead!" I shouted. Everyone on the bus looked at me. "MIND YOUR OWN FUCKIN BUSINESS!" I shouted to them. They all turned around and Jade continued to cry. I locked off the phone and made my way to college. I felt so alive! It was like the sun was shining in my every direction. I took a deep breath. I walked into college to see bare heads staring at me. SKEEN. Apart from that it was the usual vibe of a normal day. Everything was fine and I went to look for V. But she wasn't in. I decided to go jam with Jordan since I was late... "Jordannn!" I said running to him smiling. He hesitated but hugged me regardless. "Why do I feel your holding back on something?" I said to him. "Um..." "Say it." "Rayne..." "Jordan SAY IT!" I shouted. People stared at me and he led me to the side. "I heard about Dwayne...arh, that's so fucked...I'm sorry" "Heard what?" I asked confused. "Arrr fuck!" he said running his hands through his hair and scratching it. He started playing with his fingers...I got bored! "HEARD WHAT?" "You don't know?" he asked. "Obviously not, if I'm asking you!" I said to him. "Umm, Dwayne's dead." He said to me. I laughed. "No he's not! He came to my house yesterday..." "Hmmm..." was all he said. "You took it hard..." he murmured. I screwed him and walked away. I was getting pissed off! HE WASN'T DEAD! These people were nuts. Either they were going mad or I was going mad! And I

knew Dwayne wasn't dead. I just attended all my lessons and jammed by myself cah certain heads were acting up...I was getting sympathetic looks from most people and I didn't understand why. I went home got changed and got bored. I decided to go out and explore London. I took a train to London Bridge and went to sit on the wall and looked into the water. "DON'T DO IT!" Some old granny said. I looked at her thinking what is she on! "Don't do what?" "DON'T JUMP!" she said panicked. I weren't going to jump! I was just looking at the water. "Um, okay, now bye!" I said to her. She looked alarmed as she took out her phone and made a call. This bitch called the fedz! Arr more shit to deal with. I was made to come off the wall and give my name and address then they le me go cah I didn't look or acted suicidal. I got bored and went back into the endz. I was kinda pleased that Sky had the twins... it meant more sleep! I was on my couch in the dark watching tv when I heard a tap. I followed it to my kitchen window. I turned on the light and saw Dwayne bare grinning teeth. I laughed and let him in. "Why cant you use the front door like a normal human being?" I asked. He just laughed and followed me back into the living room. "Dwayne...peopledem are saying your dead!" I said laughing. He laughed aswell. "Let them think whatever they wanna think innih! It's the truth that matters..." he said thoughtfully. Someone knocked on my front door and I looked at the time. 2am. WDF. Dwayne gestured for me to open it. I went and opened it. Two men were there. The same me from the morning! "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WA-?" I didn't finish my sentence as they barged into my house. From there, everything went blank. I woke up in a lot of pain! I was lying on some rough bed sheet and couldn't fall asleep. I musta had my radio on loud and my windows open cuz noise was everywhere. I attempted to sleep again but couldn't. I properly opened my eyes. SHIT! I was in the middle of a road laying there, on the ground covered in blood. At first I thought I had been stabbed, but nothing happened. I was perfectly fine. Was the hell was going on. I got up and looked around. I read the signs. MANCHESTER. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I DOING IN MANCHESTER? I was in shock. People stared at me...true say I musta looked fucked up. I went around looking for a phone or something...I couldn't find any. I was slap bang in the middle of the countryside. I walked for ages! I still couldn't remember shit. A car was approaching and it slowed down... "Young lady you okay?" came a very strong accent. I nodded and asked for a lift into the city. He said okay. He dropped me off to the police station. I went to the reception. "Hi, erm, my names Rayne Nelson..." she musta typed something into the computer... Then her face changed. "Come with me Ms!" she said. I followed her into this interrogating room thingy. They were really nice people, they gave me hot chocolate and food to eat. I hadn't actually realised how hungry I was until then. Some mad with a gun on his waist walked in bare smiling. I watched him in anticipation. He sat down and started bussing convo. "So, Rayne you live in London..." "Yup" "SO what are you doing in Manchester?" "I dunno, yesterday I was at home by myself, two strange men knocked on the door...then I woke up in Manchester." "Yesterday?" he said raising his eye brows. I nodded. He showed me a poster of me. Above my picture were the letters "MISSING PERSON" "You've been missing for 6weeks and your telling me that you don't remember ANYTHING?" he asked me. "6 WHAT? No, it was yesterday!" I said to him... He told me the date and month and my mouth was agape. Shit! WDF had happened to me. "We need you to take off your clothes so we can get a sample of the blood on your shirt and take it off to indentify whose it is!" he said. "Oh, gosh!" I said to him. I took off my dirty clothes and quite frankly, I stank. They let me use the police bathrooms. Wow, I didn't realise they had any...but it was nice and the hot water on my skin was exactly what I needed to relive me! Shit this was confusing and upsetting. 6weeks. They provided me with new clothes and interviewed me again...but before that every inch of my body was examined and they concluded that I hadn't been raped during the sex weeks and nothing had come out of my body...however, things had been going in...I couldn't believe it. 6weeks!!!! "Rayne we need your help..." they said. "On what?" "The disappearance of your friend" HERE WE GO AGAIN. I now remembered...they were back with this Dwayne bullshit! Argh! "On the night of your disappearance, a Valentine St Martine Dexter also disappeared...vanished without a trace, nothing had been heard or seen from her in 6weeks...do you know if your disappearance may be linked to that?" he asked.

I let what he said digest in my head and flow through my brain. V? Lost? Vanished. From here and who the fuck! What the hell was going on? I shook my head. Shocked. No stunned. Missing? What was going on... "Please help me!" I cried. "I don't know what is going on..." I said begging him. 12hours later, I was back in London, I weren't allowed to contact anyone yet...PROCIDURE... I had been under constant interrogation for a full 2hours and I still couldn't remember anything. They finally let me go, promising to holla at me...I had to have police guards outside or patrolling my house because of the uniqueness of the situation. I didn't even have my oyster! So I had to thief bus in order to get home... FUCK IT! I went to Sky's instead. I knocked and she opened. She was dumbstruck! "YOU...." Was all she said before bawling. I went inside and she was silent and watched me intently. "What's going on?" I asked her... "YOU WENT MISSING THAT'S WHAT!" I explained to her and she stood there shocked. "But at least my babies are okay..." I said getting happy. "Er Rayne..." "Hmm" "Umm," "Speaking of them where are they?" I asked getting up walking up the stairs. "Rayne!" she shouted. I turned around. "Umm, De-Andre's got them now...FOREVER." "COME AGAIN..." "When you went...you disappeared...I tried to fight, I really did but I couldn't cuz that's their father...his records and shit were clean, they handed them over to them like it was nothing..." she said crying. Crying...I was fucking fuming at that moment in time! "FROM THE TWO STRANGERS DOWN TO PHONECALL THEN THE PALE MAN, THEN I GO MISSING FOR 6 FUCKING WEEKS AND I DO NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY LIFE!??!?!?" I asked very upset. "Did you say pale man?" she asked. I nodded and she glued herself to the spot. She looked scared... "Did he have a scar?" she asked. I thought long and hard... yes he did! "Yes and his eyes, BLUE AND-." "COLD?" she asked finishing off my sentence... I nodded. She shivered. "Ar, Rayne sit down...you need to hear this...o fuck! I cant believe your involved in this and ah fuck! Valentine too." "How did you know-. Valentine?" I asked kinda shook now. She took a deep breath... "Well our family hasn't been completely honest with you..." I looked at her in anxiety. She looked really scared and I had never seen Sky like that before. In return, I got more and more nervous. I still didn't and couldn't understand why Dwayne hadn't done anything. OMYGOSH! Dwayne! What if they had kidnapped him aswell...what if that was Dwayne's blood? The door bell rang and she went flying behind the door. This girl looked scared! "Sky?" "Shhhh" she said. It kept ringing then the person kept banging. Eventually I heard Jade's voice and went to open. She vomited when she saw me. I just watched her. After she had calmed down, I explained what happened and now we were both looking at Sky for some answers. "He's my uncle" she said. "And?" "No, you don't understand, he's my uncle, he's not related to Dwayne and Andre, he's on my dad's side..." "Okay." Me and Jade both said. "I need you to remember way back when Lindy got Disk robbed." "Yeah and I baited it out on msn, what has this got to do with ANYTHING?" I asked confused. "See how he was rolling with food?" Me and Jade both nodded. "It wasn't..." "So what was it?" "He was rolling with a bag of money innih, and when you left after that incident, some rumour went around that you set up Lindy, then De-Andre done suttin, and it was squashed. My uncle, is kinda like umm, a drug lord..." she said looking down. Aww, she was ashamed. "Sorry drug who?" "Um, he's Colombian." "But then so is Andre and Dwayne" I said back. She sighed. "Okay I wasn't completely right when I said not De-Andre... Andre has a different dad to Dwayne...his dad is my dad's cousin but me and Dwayne are related because his great-great gran was married to mine..." I looked at her with my mouth open. "That doesn't sense" I said to her. "Well anyway, yeh, it was bag load of money and I told him it wasn't you...when you went to have the twins they thought you'd done a runner, Lindy was burned because of that." I gasped. "So where's Ripper now?" I asked. "Dead" she said with silent tears falling from her face. Me and Jade looked at each other in shock. O wow. "Wait no! okay fuck all of that. Sky do you know where Valentine is?" I asked. The doorbell rang again. "Ohh goodie! More visitors" I said sarcastically. Sky got scared again and we all carefully poked out our heads to see who it was. Sky gasped and I found myself smiling. Remember Geren? He was at the door bare grinning teeth and looking sexy as usual. I went to open the door and jumped on him. "I missed you fool" I said to him. He laughed. "What you saying?" he asked coming in. There was now 4 of us in

there. Talking conversating. But it kinda stopped cah Sky and Geren were talking so me and Jade left them. She looked fucked for real. "Aint you been eating?" "I have" "Liar! I've been kidnapped for 6good weeks and I've still got meat on me...you look like a twig" I told her. She smiled grimly. "I miss him Ray...I really do" "Who?" "Dwayne..." "He's not dead doh..." she didn't reply. "I aint gonna argue with you guys innih...if you don't believe me then its cool...he's not DEAD!" I said. She didn't reply. "Omygosh! My parents!" I gasped. "Its cool, we've told them so many lies man...said you'd gone Colombia to see De-Andre's Gran parents." I nodded and stared into space. I felt nothing in particular. It was just so damn strange. I mean here I was, a seventeen year old. Trying to deal with life. I've been kidnapped, had babies, nearly got married, been left for a gold digger by my man and trying to avoid drug dealers. Hmm, I always thought shit like that happened in books and movies. Obviously I was wrong. Things could not have been any worse. My best friend was supposedly dead when I knew he wasn't and people were doubting my sanity. O WOW. An hour later, I decided to go into my empty house because Sky was in no state to even talk. She had just broken down completely and so had Jade. I looked under the bin and sure enough my keys were still there. I sighed and opened it. The amount of letters behind that door was astonishing. I closed the door and sat myself on the floor and went through them. There were loads from the courts about custody and what not. Some bills I know had been paid, the children's doctors appointments... and a letter from my mum. This woman was extra! It was actually a post card. I read it and smiled. She seemed and sounded like she was enjoying her time there. Only a couple more months until she came back. I thought about my aunt that lived just 10minutes away. So she couldn't even drop by and say hi? Fuckin bitch. I hated her anyway. She wasn't a nice person. But maybe she thought I was in Colombia aswell. I laughed at the image of me speaking Spanish. It was hilarious! I laughed harder. I went to bath and what not. I felt so strange in my own home. Everything was where I left it. It was like time had stopped. The phone was where I left it aswell. I sighed and got dressed. Even my own clothes felt uncomfortable. I said a quick prayer cuz I needed patience for what I was going to do next. I looked under my bed and took some money. I went to the shop and bought an oyster card. I then got on the bus thinking about what was going to happen. My brain strayed to when I had cancer. O wow. I think I had a right to say I'd been through hell and back and I was still merking...if only for a little bit. I was still going hard. I got there and slowly walked up the road. His car was there so it was cool. I needed some answers big time and I weren't going until I had it. It seemed like so long since I'd been there. It actually was. I still remembered his door number. I smiled. I pressed the bell and waited. I heard noise behind the door then the door loudly opened. He stared at me for a long time. Then let me in. He didn't even say anything just returned to playing the game he was playing. Eventually after 5minutes of silence he paused it. "Rayne..." "Please tell me what's going on" I begged. "How would I know?" he asked not staring at me. "Look me in the eye and tell me your clueless then it'll be okay, I'll go and never come back...I wont disturb you again...ever" I said feeling myself about to cry. He didn't turn around. "Price please! I need your help" I said on the floor begging him. "Get up man" he said then kissed his teeth. "Rayne get up" I followed his instructions and stood then sat down. "What happened to Valentine?" I asked. His jaw clenched. "Is she d-d-dead?" I stammered. He didn't reply. "Jamal answer me!" I shouted and turned him around. "Nah man! She's not jam. Go home...you don't need to be here...we're sorting it out" "WE? Sorting what out! CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!" "Shhh, stop shouting, Rayne's sleeping" "Sorry! But I've been kidnapped for 6fucking weeks for no fucking reason. It think the least you could do is fucking explain to me what the fuck is going on Price!" I hissed. "Okay, that Disk situation, it weren't Class A it was P, and now Ripper is on the run, certain heads say he's dead he's not. The fact that he's getting released soonish had caused confusion so mandem are accusing" "Sorry. Who's getting released?" "Disk" "Why?" I asked shocked. "Umm, he had a good lawyer innih." "But I thought she planted drugs on him I'm baffed." He nodded. "She did, but it was small, like for personal use but there was nuff food in there which was suggesting he was supplying so he got 7years." "Hmm okay...that makes sense." It did...a little. "Okay this is getting stupid now! Where do I come into this fuckin nonsense?" "You know De-Andre." "What has this got to do with him?" I asked. "Haven't you ever wondered what he worked as? Haven't you ever wondered why he travels so much or the fact that he's in contact touch with money?" he asked. I nodded. It was forming together in my head. It was making sense. "Ok, so he's a drug dealer...fair enough... why am I involved?" I asked. "He wanted custody of the twins because he has enemies who threatened to kill them" tears formed and dropped from my eyes. Then all of a sudden I wasn't scared anymore. I was fucking angry! "Come again" "With this business you have enemies... Indya is one of them" "WHAT?" I asked in shock. "She's been sent to kill him" he said straight up. "So why hasn't she?" "Because she fell in love with him...me and him both know that... she

confessed everything to him...see that time you got arrested." "HOW DO YOU KNOW?" "Shhh, I know everything, anyway that's when she confessed. He was going to tell her to fuck off but then she woulda got killed and De-Andre is nice you see...anyway, he needed to get you away from them" "HOLD ON A SECOND." "HE KIDNAPPED ME?" I asked in anger. "Erm, yeah" Price said and un-paused the game and continued to play. He then took chewing out of his pocket and popped all 5 or 6 into his mouth and started chewing. Was this guy serious. I went and turned off the game and I thought he was going to strangle me. "WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOING?" "I want answers and I aint leaving here till I get em." I said fiercely. "Boy! If I tell you, its all on you...your threading on thin waters Rayne." "I wanna know" "You sure?" I nodded. "Valentine and Dwayne are in hiding." "YESSSSS!" I shouted really loud and then the baby started crying. "Yes yes yes" I said doing a lil dance. He run upstairs to get Rayne. I was just happy and kept jumping up and down saying "Yes!" I told them he weren't dead! He bought Rayne down the stairs. This girl was beautiful. I smiled at her and stuck out her arms to say I should hold her. I took her from him and sat her on my lap. "Baby your not hungry are you?" she didn't look hungry. She looked like she wanted to sleep. "Aww, hun, I woke you sorry" I said kissing her on her forehead. He stared at me silently. "What man?" He smiled. "I don't understand why she's only seen you a couple of times and likes you and still remembers you..." he said. "She's my god-child man." I said grinning at him. He smiled. "Rayne I love you still yu'nah" "Same Price...I love you too." "Imagine me and you together." He said. "I still do, from time to time...I wondered if things woulda been different..." I said. "But then I'm happy cah I wouldn't have met V." he said. "Yup!" "You love her yeh?" "She means a lot to me." "Awww." I said. "That's so cute" he nodded and turned away. "Hmm I miss your hot sex doh" the way he turned his face to me was emotional. I started laughing. "And you had some good pussy Rayne" he said. I blocked the lil ones ears. I didn't need to because was now sleeping. "Stop it" I said warning him. He laughed and scratched his head. I laughed aswell. "So tell me more man" I said with a grin on my face. He groaned. "Okay, Dwayne's not dead!" "I knew it! Because he came to my house twice!" He frowned. "He weren't supposed to see anyone" "Well he saw me biatch!" I said getting happy. Dwayne was not dead! Ha. He wasn't dead. I knew I weren't going mad. So wait. Who's body was it? "Who's body was it?" I asked. "Um," he said scratching his head. "Do you know some dude from Hackney called Damon?" My brain quickly searched and searched. I shook my head. "Umm wait...I got h s picture here..." he said going through his wallet. He took out a packet of condoms and grinned at me. I laughed. Then took out a picture... my jaw dropped. It was a picture of De-Andre, Dwayne, Price, one of their co-dee's and that Damon guy. "Umm I know him" I said in shock. "How?" he asked. I felt kinda embarrassed to say. "You fucked him?" I shook my head. "How you know him then?" "Um...the old me gave

him head" "YUCK" he said in mock horror and laughed. "Stop laughing" I said in embarrassment. He stopped and I put Rayne's head down properly on my lap. "Oh seen, but yeah, the body was his." "What happened?" I asked. "Well thing is yeh, he became a junkie then them man burned him cah he owed nuff money. So me and Dre was like yo! Idea. We planted Dwayne's ID on him..." he said. "ON A BURNT BODY?" He nodded. I wanted to vomit. "You guys are nasty" I said in shock. "We've done a lot worse" he muttered under his breath. "I don't even wanna know the shit you two get up to" I said to him. He laughed "Okay okay, V and Dwayne are alive...so wait, hold up...I wanna know exactly who that white man with the blue eyes is?" "WHO?" He asked looking alarmed. "Erm, white man blue eyes." "Don't gas." "DO I look like I'm joking?" I asked. He took out his phone like I wasn't there of something. He called someone. "Yo fam we have a problem" he said into the phone. "He's in LDN" Price said. "Yeah, come to mine" he also said. "Who's in LDN?" I asked. "Don't worry...just tell me more about the guy with the pale face and blue eyes..." "Price." "Hmmm" "I never said he was pale." "Oh didn't you?" he said. "Yea...I didn't" "Oh shame...cuz people with blue eyes are usually pale" he said. "I'm not a fool you know." " I know...take her upstairs please." He said. I screwed him and gently picked up Rayne. I carried her into her room and lay her in her cot. I found myself crying. I missed my babies a lot. I dropped on the floor and continued to cry for ages. I heard voices and run into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. I needed an appointment with the hairdresser asap. Apart from that, I didn't recognise who I saw in the mirror. It was like the Rayne I had in my head was not the Rayne I was seeing in the mirror. I cried again. I washed my face and took a deep breath. "Fight this Rayne" I said trying to comfort myself. I walked back down the stairs and into the living room. 6pairs of eyes stared at me. I run up and jumped on him. "Dwayne! I missed you" I said to him breathing in his scent. "Yeah, me too" he said kissing my forehead. "Hmm, you need to shave... I don't like your new look, you look like a convict." I said to him. He laughed. I looked at De-Andre and screwed. WASTEMAN! "So, Priceless, Dwayne...explain to me what's going on please..." I said. I purposely excluded him and I was loving it. Until he spoke. All my anger melted. This guy could not just leave me alone! His voice did things to me. He was a drug and I was addicted. He just didn't understand the fact that with him there was no end. I couldn't get rid off him and wouldn't try to. It was just...I didn't even know what it was... it was love. "Rayne why are you so irrational?" he asked me. my jaw dropped. I was speechless. "You fuckin kidnap me and you say I'm irrational. Get out." I said. "Huh..." he asked. "Not you, you!" I pointed to Dwayne and Priceless. "Why?" he asked. "Cuz I wanna talk to it" I said. Dwayne laughed. "Ar, it yu'nah" Dre gave him some dirty screw but he continued to laugh and walked out. "We're in the kitchen if you need anything... an ambulance maybe" Dwayne said looking at De-Andre. Priceless laughed. As soon as the door shut, he stood up and so did I. I walked up to him and he was looking down at me whilst I did the opposite. I was staring up at the tree. I laughed as I thought of him as a tree. "What's funny?" he asked. "You" I replied. "You're a joke De-Andre" I said to him and laughed again. "Rayne...I'm so sorry" "I cant believe you got your peoples to kidnap me." "I had to" came his reply. "Please tell me why I cant remember ANYTHING" I said. "Erm we drugged you" he said with his head down in shame. "Oh, so you drugged me?" I asked. He nodded. "Asshole" I said to him. "But its your fault, you shoulda co-operated" he said. With all my will, might ,strength, flexibility and God's goodwill I handed him some hit slap. His face turned red immediately. I started hitting him harder because he weren't reacting and it was pissing me off. "Hit me back...go on!" I said hitting him harder. "Is everything ok-." "GET THE FUCK OUT" I shouted at him. He shut the door again. "Calm down" he said calmly. "How can I?" I asked crying. "I gave you everything...every single thing I had and you spat it back in my face...you took it all away from me...De-Andre, I hate myself for loving you...nah, I hate you...I really do" I said trying to convince myself that I did. Trying to convince myself that he was the enemy. I hated him so much! But wait...I didn't. He hugged me and I stayed there...in his arms, hating him for making me love him so much that after everything I was still willing to be with him. Then I remembered he kidnapped me. I moved from him and took my best shot. I punched him in his eye straight. He still didn't make any attempt to say I'd hurt him and it pissed me off. "WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO KIDNAP ME?" I asked him. He stayed silent. "I CANT BELIEVE YOU KIDNAPPED ME...HOW COULD YOU...HOW COULD YOU?" I asked him. I was actually shocked. Who the fuck did he think he was? "I mean, okay... I was looking for a lil excitement you know, maybe the FBI kidnapped me or suttin. Or maybe M.I 5. You know, I was looking to be going around the world, you know skiing tryna get away from the bad guys...instead...it turns out to be some low budget kidnapping. I weren't even kidnapped in a sophisticated way. I jumped and smacked him upside his head. "What the hell was that?" I asked him. "Huh?" he asked in confusion. "WHAT KIND OF LOW BUDGET KIDNAPPING WAS THAT?" I asked shouting at him. "It was carefully p-." "MY BACKFOOT, YOU JUST TAKE ME OUT OF MY YARD FOR 6WEEKS. KMT, THAT'S SO FUCKIN LOW BUDGET, I MEAN, WHAT AM I WORTH IF I CANT EVEN BE KIDNAPPED PROPERLY?" He stared at me then lifted me up and started kissing me. I wrapped my legs around him and kissed him back. I missed him...I broke the kiss. "Kmt, I still cant believe you! Don't you ever kidnap me again! Well, you can but cum'on man...where was the creativity?" I asked. I weren't joking. I was

hurt that they couldn't even kidnap me properly. "I wanna see your world" I whispered in his ear. "It's not for you" he said. "I don't care...I wanna see your world baby." I said to him. He didn't reply. "Indya." I stated. "Yes what about her?" he asked. "Do you love her?" "NO...I had to make it seem like I loved her...I mean you just wouldn't give up and you went to beat her up again" he said to me. I grinned. "I was pissed off" "Fucking short shit...you always attract trouble" he said. I laughed and punched him. "Don't my punches hurt?" I asked. "They do" "So why don't you react?" I asked him thoughtfully. "Cuz I like it when your pissed" he whispered. "Its sexy" We started kissing again. I dropped onto the sofa and dragged him down with me. Then I remembered. I pushed him off me. "You prick! You aint getting me back that easy" I said. Just then Dwayne and Price came through the door. "He wants to talk." Dwayne said looking pissed off. "Who is he?" I asked still not knowing what to do. "No-one you know..." Dwayne said quickly...a bit too quickly for my liking. "YOU KNOW WHAT, DRUG ME" I said and sat down. They all looked at me. "DRUG ME" I said again. "IF YOU DON'T DRUG ME YEH, I'M GOING TO THE FEDS" I threatened. "Nah, you wont" Price said. "If you don't let me come with I'll snitch" I said firmly... "Either that or drug me" I said hoping they wouldn't drug me... well if they tried I would run. They looked at each other for a long time. Then Dre came close to me and whispered. "You chose this." that was all he said. The last words they said to me was "Get in the car". I did. On the way going to wherever, no one talked. Fuck that! They did but they spoke in code. My questions were aired and I got frustrated and decided to keep my mouth shut cuz they weren't budging. We drove for a good hour and stopped outside this factory thing. From when I was handed a bullet proof vest I wished I hadn't followed them. I was putting it on when they looked at me like what the fuck are you doing? "What?" I asked. "Take off your top and wear it." "But your gonna see me in my bra" "We've all seen you naked" Price said. "Not me boy!" Dwayne said then laughed. "Ahaaa, Rayne...ahaaa, they both fucked you" he said and laughed. I could feel the tension. "Fuck off Dwayne man" I said. He laughed harder. "Nah, that's funny doh! Don't you ever wonder who fucks better?" he asked the two of them. He had no shame. He really didn't. He just didn't care. The dickhead. I kissed my teeth. Then they did suttin that left me breathing hard. How can I be in a car with 3 sexy men and have all of them take off their tops. Woiiii! I was smiling and staring. I licked my lips and I focused particularly on De-Andre. "Jesus" I muttered under my breath. They all put on the vest and I wanted to fuck Andre so bad! He clocked me staring and clocked the look in my eye. He chuckled and muttered "later" Jheeze. There was going to be a later! Then I clocked they were all staring at me. "What?" "Hurry" Price said. "Ohhh..." I nervously took off my top. Dre whistled. I tried not to smile... I really did. But I smiled anyway. I wore the vest and they tightened it up for me. "Why cant they have this in pink or blue or sumting?" I asked. "Its so tight" I complained. "I cant even move." Someone shoved my shirt back on my head. "I cant breathe" I complained as we got out. "SHUT UP MAN!" Dwayne said. "Leave me alone you foreigner" he laughed. We walked to the back of the factory. I really couldn't breath and my breast felt like someone had tied them together with rope. Bare squashed! It was not comfortable at all. I scratched my head. I became nervous...I could feel the tension in the air as four people walked through broken glass in a desolated factory, with the sun setting. It felt like I was going to war. I took Dre's hands and squeezed. He gave me a reassuring smile. We got to a door and Dwayne took a deep breath and lifted it upwards. Dre whispered in my ear. "You wanted to see my world..." I nodded and gulped as I saw figures inside the place Dwayne had just opened. Dre gently pushed me in. "Welcome to my world..." he said into my ear directly. I gulped... I wanted to go home and sleep and pretend nothing happened.