Relationship

RELATIONSHIP.

In this modern age of high technology and immense knowledge explosion, we the common men of India are getting drowned both consciously and unconsciously in the ocean of globalization which has brought both bane and boon for us. It is our moral duty to analyse and accept what is good and reject what is evil for the society. India is a country with rich cultural heritage where family plays a very important role in establishing and maintaining our values and ethos. Peace, pros parity and happiness are the demand of every individual and a happy and healthy home with moral values can provide this basic need of life. Time has come to think and analyse why our sweet homes are turning into mechanical dwelling places where couples are getting divorced creating insecurity depression and frustration for the new generation. We must not forget that along with science, technology and economic development, the heritage of spirituality and morality must be sustained and nurtured otherwise the society will lose balance and face catastrophe. To be more precise ,Iwant to focus the attention towards the temptation and lures of modern civilization. The glitters and glamour ,pleasures , funs and sensuous gratification may become the guiding principles for many western countries but if we follow such epicurean philosophy blindly and mechanically in our society then we have to hang our head with shame for spoiling the life of future generation of this great nation. It appears that common people are getting lost in the dark forest of attractive and provocative technological marvels of films, televisions, mobilephones,computers and internets. These magical wonders of science and technology have both good and evil effects on us. Judicious and proper utilization is a boon for the society. When misused by both educated intellectuals and uneducated mass can be dangerous. As a member of this multidimensional Indian society, I am confronted with many conflicting thoughts and ideas. I shall love to share a few of my personal observations and findings with my readers if they take a little time off their busy schedule to read my humble article. In Indian culture marriage between two individuals is not the union of two bodies but it is essentially the union of two souls which must withstand the tempest of various provocations and temptations. At present marriage is losing its sanctity and is at the verge of getting diseased and paralyzed. Time has come to give a serious thought to this aspect ,otherwise very soon our next generation will be in deep trouble of identity crisis, depression and frustration.

I would like to analyze the cause of the present crisis because unless we diagnose the cause of the disease , accurately its cure is impossible. Too much of exposure and freedom of everything including sex and promiscuity which was the monopoly of western culture has slowly crept into our so called conventional society. Freedom and liberty for both men and women are essential for the healthy growth but there should be a limit. An invisible line of check and balance must be drawn somewhere , sometime in the family relationship, between husband and wife. One may argue that men are by nature polygamous, they can’t remain faithful to one woman for a long time. In order to break the monotony of married life which is based on some kind of adjustment one can skip from the conventional boundary of marriage and establish implicit and illicit relationship with others just for fun and enjoyment. Modern women enjoying economic independence and freedom may hold the same argument and live fast and promiscuous life. Now the question arises ,is this the right approach towards the right path? No definitely not. As a result marriages are breaking, sweet homes are turning into bitter centers of depression and frustration causing a devastating effects on the innocent lives of children. No child can enjoy normal and healthy growth unless he or she gets parental love and care in the shelter of happy home. High economic standard and affluence play a secondary role for child’s growth. The primary need of the child is love and care of both father and mother leading a normal happy family life. In a nuclear family where both parents are working, children are deprived of full attention and parental care. Parents, unable to provide quality time to their children are ready to compensate by satisfying all kinds of unhealthy demands of the kids leading their innocent lives towards insecurity, frustration and depression. If we want to make India a developed country in the true sense then we have to realize the importance of happy and healthy family . This is possible when the relationship between members are strong and healthy. A strong sense of moral value is needed to be instilled in the society. Perhaps for this reason our ancient Hindu scriptures have prescribed certain spiritual and social laws of Dharma, Artha,Kama and Moksa means a householder must live a balanced and controlled life to fulfill all the aspects such as religion, money, sex and liberation. The million dollar question is how to achieve this goal? How to protect the society from the cancerous disease of uncontrolled greed and animal passion which has already spread its tentacles everywhere through modernization and globalization. If we look at the student community who represent the youth power, the picture is equally grim. Most of the youth are disillusioned and confused. It appears students’ aim of life is to get good jobs with high salary tolive luxurious and comfortable life for fun and enjoyment. There is no moral guideline to channelize their potentiality in the right path. For example we can see a majority of college students want muscle, money ,motorcycle, mobile phones , girl friends and lots of fun in life. Diligence,

self-control, perseverance and strong moral character are only words to be found in the dictionary. One may ask how is it related with relationship and family life? There is close connection between these two factors. Every youth belongs to a family and every family is directly and indirectlyresponsible for shaping the personality and character of the new member. Each family is like a drop in the ocean of this society. A healthy society lives in healthy homes. It is the collective responsibility of family and society to provide virtuous guidance to the youth and young minds. India is a country with immense young population. These youth are our real wealth. We need to tap their energy and talent inappropriate way .The need of the hour is to blend the best of science with the best of spirituality so that the youth can find right direction and suitable ways for a meaningful existence. The article will be incomplete if I don’t provide some suggestions and solutions to tackle the challenges of modernity. Swami Vivekananda said that the aim of life should be to control nature both internal and external and manifest ones true nature which is peace, bliss and consciousness. Science and technology has achieved great success in conquering the external nature but what about the internal nature of man? Man does not know much about his own internal nature, his mind. He has not yet learnt how to control his mind which is the source of all kinds of mental processes both positive and negative. Greed, lust anger, jealousy, violence and hatred are engulfing us day by day. Where is the end to it? We need to focus our attention inward and introspect. The existing problem of relationship and other correlated evils of society can be dissolved if we successfully turn our attention within andlearn how to conquer the unwanted negative impulses and passions through concentration, contemplation and meditation. Let me first presentthe western theory of mind contributed by the famous Viennese physician Sigmund Freud (1856-1939).According to his psychodynamic theory of personality ,human mind has three institutions or agencies. These are id, ego and superego. Id is unconscious mind with basic impulses of sex and aggression. It seeks immediate gratification regardless of consciousness reason and logic. Ego is predominantly conscious. It is rational and logical and mediates between id impulses and superego inhibitions. Superego is both conscious and unconscious. It has ideals and morals. It is incorporated from parents. It observes ,dictates ,criticizes, prohibits, imposes limitations on satisfaction and becomes the conscience of the individuals. For Freud a healthy personality needs harmony among id ego and superego. The goal of psychotherapy is to replace irrational impulse-driven compulsion with rational

choice and control. He compared personality with an iceberg. Only the tip shows itself overtly; the rest lies below. Rather than viewing the person as a supremely rational being, he saw people as driven by impulses and striving to satisfy deep and lasting sexual and aggressive urging. At present when we look at the aggressive and violent behaviors of terrorists in the society, we can analyze such brutal acts as the manifestation of animal instinct of unconscious mind or id which is hidden within us. Sexual promiscuity and perversion is also the reflection of predominant influence of unconscious mind. Now I shall focus our attention towards a very interesting andsignificant principle of understanding the depth of human mind which can be very useful to control and conquer the weakness of mind. The wisdom of psychology and metaphysics of west and east along with the ancient yoga philosophy of India cab be presented as an effective medicine to cure the disease of passion temptation and aggression. Cognizant ability or the conquest of mind isa comprehensive theory presented by Maharishi Om . According to this theory mind has five states. These are Conscious Subconscious Sub subconscious Sub super conscious Superconscious. Mind is one but it functions in various phases , namely instinctive, intellectual and super conscious. These phases are manifested consciously and subconsciously. The conscious mind is only one-tenth of the mind. The other four aspects constitute the nine-tenth. The object is to control the conscious mind and become consciously conscious. We need concentration to reach the depth of mind. Meditation is the result of a concentrated mind. It isan integrated state of mind and the deeper one goes into this state the more the various rivers of the mind flow in and a deeper cognition and understanding unfolds. In these days of materialistic civilization, it is quite necessary for the lay man to understand the laws of the mind to cope with the fast moving world. Of course, psychologically we know that one of man’s basic desires , whether he knows it or not , is to know himself. Another very significant contribution of this comprehensive theory is the law of transmutation of the creative energy. Very little is known publicly and taught in schools regarding the transmutation of creative sex energy. Modern psychologists

often speak of sublimation which is a step in the right direction towards transmutation. Transmutation is transformation from gross to subtle form. This subtle force has greatest value and in its qualified and conscious control, without suppression can build a great reserve of power within ones subconscious mind. Boiling of water into steam produces greater power similarly the creative sex energy must first be regulated, then consciously totally suppressed. This develops will power, leading the ego from concentration intomeditation then to contemplation .After this the passionate nature can be controlled and depolarized. Yoga means joining the conscious and the super conscious mind ,creating a vacuum so that the consciousness can expand beyond the mind. This is attained through transmutation. It is a natural law inthe enfoldment of the spiritual being of man. Transmutation must be attained and maintained to build up a so called bank account in the subconscious mind so that the desires , feelings and tendencies of the sub subconscious mind can be automatically handled. Let us not become the slave of animal instincts of passion, greed and aggression. WE can elevate ourselves to a higher level of existence with an open mind and positive approach. Determination and self motivation, education and strong sense of morality supported by our rich cultural heritage can take us on the path of success. There are ways and means to achieve this goal. Both individually and collectively we can make endeavors. At individual level, family can guide the young minds by providing strong moral principles of life. The life histories of our great national and spiritual heroes such as swami Vivekananda, Arobindo ghose , Madanmohan malaviya, and Mahatma Gandhi can be presented as exemplary characters for the new generation. The collective responsibilities can be shared by different educational institutions, media (print and electronic), N.G.Os and govt organizations. If we think it is beyond us to contribute anything in this field then we have no right to call ourselves as responsible citizens of this country. We have unlimited will power within ;the power to acquire, to give, to understand, to love, to remember, to be magnetic, and to be happy. This infinite power is locked up within us to be realized through conscious use of the will, through concentration and dedication. Let us arise and awake and stop not till we reach the goal. JAI HIND.