Reading Assignments

UNIQUELY SINGAPORE Singapore (pronounced: "Sing-gah-pour"), is a disturbing giant red dot on the face of the planet. Singapore was ranked 161 out of 169 in the Worldwide Press Freedom Index 2009 by Reporters Without Borders and was ranked 174 out of 195 in the 2009 Freedom of the Press World Ranking by Freedom House. One comforting fact is that at least Singapore is not last in position. Singapore, a "Fine and Simply Beautiful" country, follows a Communist single-party system, which means that the people are free to all make the same choice. Singapore is the only country that has a free-flowing supply of NEWater, rumoured to have been created from fresh water.

"Absolute Newater" The people, known as "Foreign Talents," are precious, and are widely known as the First Class citizens. Their talents are so precious that while they have no voting rights, it is expected that their children will perform National Service (aka National Slavery or NS) for a country in which they cannot vote. The Prime Minister is the second most important person in Singapore, and possibly the only known person whose inherent human dignity counts for anything. All decisions are made by this Lee, and approved by the other Lee. At present, Lee Hsien Loong Mai Hum is the Prime Minister of Singapore. He has been famous for promoting very high imports of "Foreign Talents," believing that by doing so it is the only way to contribute to the nation's economy. GEOGRAPHY On the map, Singapore resembles a little "red dot", much like a pimple on the rear end of the world. The first person to notice this was former Indonesian President Habibie, who remarked, in an interview with the Asian Wall Street Journal, "My goodness, it looks like a 1

little red dot!" For this reason, Singapore's Ministry of Foreign Affairs (it has been reported that many Singaporean men have "foreign affairs" in Batam, thus justifying the existence of a separate ministry) has proudly begun calling Singaporeans "Red Dotters". Following this incident, Indonesia wisely decided to stop selling sand to Singapore for use in its landreclamation efforts, and it became a "noticeable red splodge.".

TOURISM Tourism is a vital part of Singapore's economy. In 2000, over 4 million people worldwide were tricked, bullied, forced, cajoled, coaxed, or otherwise fooled into visiting Singapore for an average period of sixteen hours. The government refers to the tourist experience in this country as "Uniquely Singapore", a slogan that has received a positive response from tourists. Most of the country's tourism is centered on tiny artificial island called "Sentosa". Tourists flock to the beaches for the rare sight of majestic container ships entering and exiting the harbour. The shops along the beaches sell postcards featuring the iconic oil refineries on the skyline. The beaches, comprised of strips of imported sand from as far away as Saudi Arabia and Dubai, have been widely praised as some of the most beautiful in the world. MILLITARY

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Millitary wise , consisting of millions of loyal and dedicated soldiers, the military of Singapore, known as the SAF, is the most powerful army in the world and has never lost any battles (because it has not fought in any). All conscripts of the SAF are sent to Pulau Tekong BMT to numb their senses and creativity while enhancing their obedience to the Lee government. This keeps the conscripts fiercely obedient to all orders and instructions. On the aspect of population , Singapore's population currently stands at 4.84 million. However, due to diminishing birth rates and 'hidden' migration out of Singapore, analysts predict that Singapore's population will be no more than three individuals sitting under a coconut tree by the year 2050. EDUCATION

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"A typical biology lesson in Singapore."

The Singaporean education system is based upon military-style education, which encompasses crushing the will of the student. When questioned on the viability of such techniques, PM Lee merely shrugged and said: If the CIA can use them, why not the MOE? In addition to such character formation, students are also indoctrinated at a young age through a system known as National Education, where students are fed a "true version" of the history and politics of Singapore. Mind-control also begins at age six, and students are bombarded by mind-control rays every day at school from primary one onwards, through National Service (for the boys) till university. With such attributes for a nation , how can one disagree with the description of "Uniquely Singapore"? (Tourists would probably kill themselves if they discovered there could possibly be another city somewhere in the world just like Singapore.) P.S. I lost the worksheet so...

LIM JIN GEN (25)

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