Parsha Patners Ki Tetze 2009

PARSHAS KI SEITZEI | 9 ELUL 5769 | 29 AUGUST 2009

Parsha Perspectives ‫כי תצא למלחמה על איביך ונתנו ה' אלקיך‬ ‫בידך ושבית וראית בשביה אשת יפת תאר‬ ‫וחשקת בה ולקחת לך לאשה‬ “When you will go out to war against your enemies, and Hashem your Gd, will deliver him into your hand, and you will capture his captivity; and you will see among its captivity a woman who is beautiful of form, and you will desire her, and you may take her to yourself for a wife.” (Deuteronomy 21:10-11)

T

his week’s parsha, Ki Seitzei, commences with the laws regarding the Jewish People going out to battle. Rashi writes that the battle referred to here is a discretionary battle, i.e. initiated for the purpose of territorial expansion which was authorized by the Beis Din HaGadol (the Court of Seventy-One Judges).

Rather, the battle is one in which the nation chooses in order to expand its territory. It is regarding this battle that the Torah instructs the Jew how to deal with the eishes yifas toar, the beautiful gentile woman who is captured in battle. The commentators cite a Medrash that offers a different interpretation of this battle. They write that this battle is referred to as a milchemes hayeitzer, a battle against the Evil Inclination. While we may all be familiar with this struggle, one must wonder why the Torah alludes to this battle by stating that one goes out to wage battle against the Evil Inclination. In fact, it would seem that the opposite is true. When one is outside his safe environment and is confronted by the temptation to sin, he should escape inside, similar to the statement in the Talmud (Sukkah 52b) that when one sees the “repulsive one,” i.e. the Evil Inclination, he should drag him into the study hall. What,

then, is the meaning of the Medrash that states that one should “go out” to battle his Evil Inclination? Perhaps we can understand the parallel easier with a teaching from the author of Lev Simcha, the Gerrer Rebbe (1898-1992). It is said (Isaiah 55:12) ki vismicha seitzeiu, you will “go out” with joy. Lev Simcha interprets this verse homiletically to mean that one can exit his state of depression and worries by being in a state with joy. Let us delve into this deceptively simple statement. What is the biggest obstacle that prevents a person from accomplishing his goals in this world? Some may suggest that it is lack of discipline and focus, but in truth, there is even a larger component at play. The real barrier between us and our potential accomplishments is a lack of joy. We can illustrate the idea that this lack affects one’s accomplishments with the following

RABB I B IN YOMIN AD LER

story. The story is told of the Chassid whose neighbor once asked him about the necessity of his travels to the Rebbe. “Is it not enough,” asked the neighbor, “to pore over the Chassidic and mussar (character and spiritual development) literature in your own home?” The Chassid responded, “When I sit in my house with a book and begin to study, the Evil Inclination eventually gets up and begins to dance on my table, and then kicks my book open to the chapter that discusses the inherent weakness of man and how one must exert himself to overcome the Evil Inclination. Upon reading this chapter, I become forlorn and overcome with uncertainty about my ability to best the Evil Inclination. When I travel to the Rebbe, however, he knows exactly what I am lacking and what I need to repair my faults. He strengthens me and gives me the tikkun, the rectification that my soul needs.” We can similarly suggest that in doing better with our Evil Inclination, we need to “go out” from or leave behind the somber approach. One can certainly spend time philosophizing about what is preventing him from serving Gd properly, he is stilled mired in the mud of his misdeeds and character faults. When one serves G-d with joy, however, he leaves or goes out of his state of depression and can truly serve G-d with joy. This task of serving Gd with joy should be in our minds in the month of Elul, as we approach the High Holy Days, when we will stand before G-d in judgment for the past year’s deeds. Although we must approach the upcoming period with awe, there must also be a sense of joy; we are confident that G-d will be kind to us in his judgment and bless us with a good year. Rabbi Adler can be reached at: [email protected]

Talking Points 1. REAL WARRIORS “When you go out to war against your enemy and Hashem will give him in your hands and you will take a captive. And you see among the prisoners a beautifully formed woman; if you desire her, you may take her as your wife.” 21:10, 11 You may take her as your wife - The Torah does not condone this behavior, but speaks only as an antidote to man’s evil inclination, for if the Holy One, blessed is He, would not permit her, he would cohabit with her illicitly. Indeed, if he does marry her, ultimately their marriage will not be a satisfying one and he will despise her. He will also produce from her a wayward, rebellious son. This is why this chapter, and that of the wayward son, adjoins one another. - Rashi And Hashem will give him in your hands – This special permission was only granted once the battle had already been won. During the heat of the battle, it was absolutely forbidden for one to take a captive woman, for all his energies had to be channeled toward winning the war. – HeEmek Davar (Rabbi Naftali Zvi Yehuda Berlin) When you go out to war – This allowance was limited only to wars which were optional, not mandatory wars such as the battle to conquer the Land of Israel. – Rashi The commentators point out that a war waged by the instructions of the Almighty carried with it a spiritual protection against illicit behavior so no such special dispensation was granted.

In Maayan Beis HaShoeiva, Rabbi Shimon Schwab zt”l explained that this parsha is not just the Torah “giving in” to the evil inclination. Rather, by making such an allowance, the Torah actually weakens the evil inclination and limits his ability to entrap a Jew in this sin. Indeed, there never actually occurred an incident of a common man availing himself of this dispensation. [There was an incident with King David – however, this was an exception based upon unique circumstance.] Rather than view this parsha as a sign of our weakness and penchant for sin, it is actually testimony to our greatness and spiritual might that we have never succumbed to one of the prevailing temptations of the battlefield.

2. GET AWAY “When a man marries a woman and consummates with her, if she is displeasing to him or if he has evidence of infidelity on her part, he shall write her a bill of divorce and place it in her hand, thus releasing her from his household.” 24:1

KI SEITZEI

Or if he has evidence of infidelity – In this case, it is strongly recommended that he divorce her, so that she should not find favor in his eyes, for her character is severely lacking. – Rashi He shall write her - The verse is discussing a situation wherein the husband knows that his wife was unfaithful, but lacks the requisite evidence to prove it in Beis Din. Thus, although he is not technically obligated to divorce her, the Torah recommends it nevertheless. – Ibn Ezra (Rabbi Avraham Ibn Ezra, 12th century, Spain) A bill of divorce – This bill of divorce is called a “Get.” Rabbeinu Bachya explains the reason for this name is because the numerical value of the word is 12, and the law is that a Get must be written in exactly twelve lines. It is also said in the name of the Gaon of Vilna that the letters Gimel and Tet that comprise this word are the only two letters that are never found adjacent to one another throughout the entire Torah. As such, they are symbolic of a couple that is not able to reside together in peace and harmony.

The Talmud [Tractate Gittin 90b] says, “One who divorces his first wife [i.e. the wife of his youth – Rashi], even the Altar sheds tears over him.” In Tractate Kesubos [10b], the Talmud explains that the Hebrew word for Altar is Mitzbeach, which is an acronym for the words, Mazin - sustains, Maziach – gains atonement and eradicates evil decrees, Mechaper – atones for sins, because of the tremendous outpouring of blessing that resulted from the Altar. Ben Yehoyada explains that when one divorces his wife without cause, he drives the primary source of blessing out of the home and is left without a significant source of his blessing. In this manner, it is as if he has crippled his own personal Altar.

3. GLORY OF GOOD “When you gather the fruit from your olive tree, you may not strip its glory from it [i.e. do not pick the last remaining fruit] behind you, since it must be left for the foreigner, orphan and widow…Remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt and that is why I am commanding you to do this thing.” 24:20-22 Do not pick the last remaining fruit – Do not remove its glory from it. From here we derive that one must not harvest the outer edge of the tree. – Rashi Behind you – What do these words teach us? That the law of Shikchah applies [i.e. if one forgot to harvest certain olives from there tree, he may not turn back and collect them. Rather, he must leave them for the poor]. – Talmud, Tractate Chullin 131b Behind you – The seemingly superfluous presence of these words alludes to the notion of leaving these olives

RABB I ELAZAR MEISELS that are destined for the poor, to one’s inheritors instead. In this context, “behind you” refers to those who will be left after you, and the verse warns that one must give charity, and not worry about how much he will be able to leave over for his children if he supports the indigent. Don’t worry about it, says the verse. Think about the present and the fact that these people don’t have the ability to feed their own families today. What about the fact that your children may one day need your inheritance? In response to this the verse continues, “Remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt; that is why I am commanding you to do this thing.” In Egypt, we had nothing. We were downtrodden slaves without a hope for the future. Yet, the Almighty ensured that we and our offspring had more than sufficient resources to carry us through forty years in the desert and beyond. – Kli Yakar (Rabbi Ephraim Luntshitz of Lemberg 1550-1619)

Yalkut Shimoni explains the verse as follows: “Do not act glorious or haughty toward the impoverished whom you allow into your fields to collect the olives.” Rabbeinu Bachya explains that one who gives charity has no right or reason to proclaim it to the world simply to collect accolades. That is not the way of a G-d-fearing individual who understands that this is mitzvah and not something that should be done for personal gain or honor.

Rabbi Meisels can be reached at: [email protected]

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DEAR RABBI ELUL

RABB I REUVEN DRUCKER

Introduction Last week’s edition of Parsha Partner discussed the basics of Elul and its role in the preparation for the High Holidays. Allow me to share with our readers some practical suggestions on how to best accomplish this goal. During the month of Elul, Jews would mentally prepare themselves for the Day of Judgment that Rosh Hashanah represents by involving themselves in additional prayer, Torah study, and good deeds. In many towns and cities with sizeable Jewish populations, there was an urgency in the air that manifested the seriousness that this part of the year deserves. The month of Elul is Kabbalistically associated with the verse, ‫וצדקה תהיה‬ ‫לנו כי‬, “And it will be considered charitable kindness for us, because …” (Deuteronomy 6:25). While the deeper significance of the correspondence between this verse and the month of Elul is clearly esoteric, there is perhaps a surface meaning that has practical application to us. The verse could be referring to the special Divine kindness that we seek on the Day of Judgment, which immediately follows the conclusion of this month. In essence, G-d will be kind and charitable in His judgment because __________ … and we are given the opportunity to fill in the blank, so to speak. This means that Elul provides an opportunity for each individual to search within himself and choose an area on which to improve. The effort will be generously considered on the Day of Judgment. For

example, a person may feel that he or she angers too quickly or too often and may decide to use this month as a means to uproot the source of this anger and to make a conscious effort to contain it. By so doing, the person can present a basis to appeal for Divine mercy when being judged by G-d—the individual can then point to the improvement made and, so to speak, argue, “If my circumstances are maintained for this coming year, I will use the opportunity to improve myself further.” The beauty of the month of Elul is that it is individualized. No two people have the same life circumstances nor are they in the same place regarding in their spiritual path. The month of Elul is an ideal time for an individual to make a resolution to improve in a specific way; tailored to his or her circumstances. Unlike New Year’s resolutions that are made on January 1st, a Jew makes his resolutions a full month before our New Year, in order to bring an improved self into the coming year. Allow me to provide a short list of areas to which many individuals gravitate when looking to improve:

•

Becoming a more giving person.

•

Developing a greater sensitivity to others’ needs.

•

Avoiding others.

•

Making oneself a more elevated individual through one’s speech and how one eats.

•

Developing a greater ability to express appreciation for others.

•

Being able to bring more joy in the lives of others.

being

judgmental

of

I wish you all great success in taking advantage of this precious gift of the month of Elul. May we, and the entire Jewish people, use it wisely, so that we are all sealed in the Book of health, peace, prosperity, and Torah. Sincerely, Rabbi Reuven Drucker

Rabbi Drucker can be reached at: [email protected]

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Soul Talk TABLE TALK FOR DISCUSSION AROUND THE SHABBAT TABLE RABBI LABEL LAM “If you build a new house, you shall make a fence for your roof, so that you will not place blood in your house if a faller falls from

it.”

(Devarim

22:8)

This

is

a

seemingly logical commandment to put a guard rail on one’s roof to prevent an accident. The “curve ball” is at the end of the verse. The “would be” victim of the homeowner’s personal negligence in this

We learn an important lesson about the Torah’s view of marriage from the mitzvah of‫ְתּוֹ‬ ‫ִשׁ‬ ‫ֶת־א‬ ‫ַח א‬ ‫ִמּ‬ ‫ְשׂ‬ ‫ו‬, “to gladden one’s wife” in the first year of marriage. Marriage is not a ‘‘give-and-take’’ relationship, but rather a ‘‘give and give’’ relationship. Let us study the words of Rashi on this mitzvah: Rashi states that the printed text of Targum on our verse, ‫ֵהּ‬ ‫ְת‬ ‫ִתּ‬ ‫ָת א‬ ‫ֵי י‬ ‫ְדּ‬ ‫ַח‬ ‫ְי‬ ‫ו‬, “he shall gladden his wife,” is the correct version. But he who renders it as ‫ֵי‬ ‫ְדּ‬ ‫ַח‬ ‫ְי‬ ‫ו‬ ‫ֵהּ‬ ‫ְת‬ ‫ִתּ‬ ‫ִם א‬ ‫ע‬, “he shall be glad ‘with’ his wife,” is mistaken.

case is referred to as a “faller.” Rashi notes that one who falls is viewed as if he was meant to fall, and the unfortunate result was a match made in heaven between the negligent home owner and the one deserving of a fall. The Torah seems to imply that on some supernal plane, the tragic fall was no accident at all.

‫)א‬ ‫)ב‬

Doesn’t

this

notion

somehow

diminish the responsibility of the one who failed to secure his roof?

If falling victims somehow deserve their fate, why is the onus placed on the homeowner to prevent

something that is ‘meant’ to happen? Rabbi Lam can be reached at: [email protected]

The Kotzker Rebbe used to say: Rashi is not only telling us the correct version of this verse’s translation; he is giving us deeper insight into the essence of this mitzvah. One who thinks that the mitzvah is to be glad with his wife will approach his first year of marriage accordingly, thinking ‘‘How can we derive as much pleasure together as possible?’’ But this is a fundamental mistake. This attitude is one of selfishness, of one looking for what he can get out of the marriage. He may realize that the only way he will get his desires fulfilled is by giving as well, but such a person is still, in his heart, a ‘‘taker,’’ and has completely misunderstood the Torah’s perspective on marriage.

The Torah tells us clearly that it is the husband’s obligation to make his wife happy — ‫ְתּוֹ‬ ‫ִשׁ‬ ‫ֶת־א‬ ‫ַח א‬ ‫ִמּ‬ ‫ְשׂ‬ ‫ו‬, “he shall gladden his wife.” He is the one charged with the task of making the house one of harmony and tranquility. If, at this initial delicate time of their marriage, he concentrates on fulfilling her needs and learning how to gladden her, they will enjoy a very successful marriage together and will not lack for anything. The Torah is implying with this message that man cannot experience true joy unless he brings joy to others, and he must focus on others first. The same is true regarding the mitzvah of ‫ַג‬ ‫ְח‬ ‫ִמ‬ ‫שׂ‬, to be happy on festivals. ‫ַח‬ ‫ַת ה‬ The Torah tells us (16:14): ָ ‫ֶך‬ ‫ַגּ‬ ‫ְח‬ ‫ָ בּ‬ ‫ְתּ‬ ‫ַח‬ ‫ָמ‬ ‫ְשׂ‬ ‫ו‬ ‫ֶך‬ ָ ‫ָת‬ ‫ֲמ‬ ‫ַא‬ ‫ָ ו‬ ‫ְך‬ ‫ְדּ‬ ‫ַב‬ ‫ְע‬ ‫ָ ו‬ ‫ֶך‬ ‫ִתּ‬ ‫ָ וּב‬ ‫ְך‬ ‫ִנ‬ ‫ָה וּב‬ ‫אַתּ‬, “You shall rejoice on your festival — you, your son, your daughter, your slave, your maidservant etc.” The Talmud tells us that this obligation is not incumbent upon women, as it is a mitzvah dependent on time (‫ָא‬ ‫ָמ‬ ‫ְר‬ ‫ַן ג‬ ‫ְמ‬ ‫ַזּ‬ ‫ֶה‬ ‫ֵה שׁ‬ ‫ֲשׂ‬ ‫ַת ע‬ ‫ְו‬ ‫ִצ‬ ‫)מ‬. Rather, it is the obligation of the man to make his wife and all his dependents happy (see Kiddushin 37b). However, the fact is that if one fulfills this mitzvah properly, he will be happy as well. To achieve true joy, one must gladden the people around him. With permission from Artscroll’s Daily Dose