Parish Magazine January 2009

The Ven. David Garnett The Vicarage, Edensor, Bakewell, Derbyshire DE45 1PH Tel: 01246 582130 (Church website - www.stpetersedensor.org) January 2009 Dear Friends I have included a rather longer piece on reading the Bible. However, I can’t begin the New Year without thanking you for all your friendship and support. It is a real privilege and joy to serve in the two parishes and both Susanne and I are very happy here. On 6 January the season of Epiphany begins. The word Epiphany comes from the Greek and means to “make manifest” or “to reveal”. We worship the God who makes himself manifest in JESUS, and reveals Himself in Christ’s humanity. The following hymn for Epiphany takes up some of the themes I have developed in the article “Did that really happen?” Songs of thankfulness and praise, Jesus, Lord, to Thee we raise, Manifested by the star To the sages from afar; Branch of royal David’s stem In Thy birth at Bethlehem; Anthems be to Thee addressed, God in man made manifest.

Manifest in making whole Palsied limbs and fainting soul; Manifest in valiant fight, Quelling all the devil’s might; Manifest in gracious will, Ever bringing good from ill; Anthems be to Thee addressed, God in man made manifest.

Manifest at Jordan’s stream, Prophet, Priest, and King supreme; And at Cana, wedding guest, In Thy Godhead manifest; Manifest in power divine, Changing water into wine; Anthems be to Thee addressed, God in man made manifest.

Grant us grace to see Thee, Lord, Mirrored in Thy holy Word; May we imitate Thee now, And be pure, as pure art Thou; That we like to Thee may be At Thy great Epiphany; And may praise Thee, ever blest, God in man made manifest.

A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL. David 1

Did that really happen? A native American told his tribe’s story of creation. He ended, “Now I don’t know if it happened this way or not, but I know this story is true”. This is a good way of looking at certain aspects of the Bible. For the Bible is a mixture of history and metaphor. One head teacher told me it is usually when children get to 9 or 10 years that they begin to question parts of the Bible. “Why were there no worms in Noah’s ark? And why did God destroy everything?” Literally understood the story of Noah’s ark is a horrible caricature of a vengeful God. Whereas the true meaning of the story is God’s care for every creature. How God longs for each one of us to have abundant life. And his judgement on the atrocities humankind can do to one another. As young children we read the bible stories as literally true. I remember wondering what it was like for Jonah inside a whale’s stomach! But as we grew up we began to ask questions. We moved from pre-critical naivety into critical thinking. The danger is that we don’t move on any further. This leaves us in a wasteland, wanting to believe but at the same time feeling very uncomfortable or sceptical. To move on we need to understand that the Bible story is a mixture of history and metaphor. That metaphorical truth is just as significant as historical truth. And often more winsome. I like to call this post critical naivety. And by naivety I mean a childlike wonder ever more open to new and deeper understandings. For example, if I stop worrying about whether or not Jesus turned water into wine, the story comes alive with all sorts of meanings. One example is how Jesus takes our ordinary concerns and requests and turns them into extraordinary answers! Or take Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve are not historic characters. Nevertheless they are real people like you and me. People who feel cast out and long to discover the paradise garden. In second century AD, Origen distinguished between the “spiritual meanings” of the Bible and “the bodily meanings”. By “spiritual meanings” he meant ‘metaphorical’ and by “bodily meanings” he meant ‘historical’. Origen argued that the Bible, a religious classic, should be read as a whole in a spiritual sense. However, some parts are not to be read in a “bodily sense”. Metaphors are non-literal. “My love is a red, red rose” is a metaphor. It doesn’t mean I am in love with roses! It is about my beloved’s beauty. It expresses a variety of insights: her pleasant fragrance, her being in full bloom, or even her ethereality. A metaphor points beyond the immediate to a variety of different levels of meaning. Metaphors can be profoundly true, even though they are not literally true. They are poetry plus. 2

Did that really happen? Yes, many events in the Bible really did happen, e.g. Jerusalem was destroyed in 586 BC and people were sent into exile. However, often historical events are given metaphorical meanings. An historical event lies behind the story but the way the story is told gives it metaphorical meaning as well. It releases the text from being confined to the past. It has been described as history metaphorised. In short, the historical and metaphorical approaches to reading the Bible need each other. The historical needs the metaphorical so that the text is not imprisoned in the past. The metaphorical needs the historical so that it does not become subjective fantasy. Let me try and illustrate. I think there are good historical grounds for saying that Jesus healed the sick. On the way through Jericho, James and John, two of his disciples, made a request. “What do you want me to do for you?” asked Jesus. In the earliest Gospel, St Mark, they ask, “When you come into your glory can we have the best seats?” (A later Gospel puts the words into their mother’s mouth!). After this, Bartimaeus, a blind man, also makes a request to Jesus. Again Jesus asks, “What do you want me to do for you?” In evocative language Bartimaeus expresses his deepest desire: “Let me see again”. And we are told Bartimaeus received his sight and followed Jesus on the way. Christians were in early days described as people of the way. Bartimaeus not only received his sight but followed Jesus on the way to the Cross. So the story is not only about healing but also about discipleship and following Jesus. Further, Bartimaeus means Son of Purity. In the Beatitudes Jesus says, “Blessed are the pure in heart”, they shall see God. See how the story is pregnant with metaphorical truths and meanings? To see that is to have your eyes opened. There are, however, some stories, which are pure metaphor. No particular historical event lies behind them. The stories are wholly metaphorical or symbolic. For example, the stories of Creation in Genesis, Jonah and the huge fish that swallowed him and the story of the sun standing still in the time of Joshua. They convey profound truths but do not have historical events as their basis. It is often not easy to discern how a metaphorical story arose. Its origins are lost in the mist of time. The story of Christ changing water into wine in John’s may be a submerged parable: “No one puts new wine into old wine skins; if he does the wine will burst the skins and the wine is lost; and so are the skins; put new wine into fresh skins” (Mark 2.22). Or “The kingdom of God is like a wedding feast” (Matthew 22). Years later John meditated on the story of Christ. He knew the transforming power of Christ. What better way of expressing it than in a story about a wedding? And the extraordinary miracle of the presence of Christ?

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Useful Telephone Numbers St. Anne’s Wardens:Treasurer:St. Peter’s Wardens:Treasurer:-

Rupert Turner Vernon Mather Gloria Sherwood

01629 732794 01629 732317 01629 732983

Elizabeth Bradshaw 01246 582421 Duncan Gordon 01629 734099 Mark Titterton 01246 582245 e-mail: [email protected]

DATES TO NOTE 10/24 Jan 13 Jan 21 Jan

22 Jan 24 Jan 26 Jan

SKIP:

Baslow, Council Houses 7.45-8.15 Nether End Car Park 8.20-10.45 Beeley WI Christmas Meal Chatsworth WI Monthly Meeting 7.30pm Cavendish Annexe Speaker: Bess Purser ‘The Witch Doctor’ Competition: Sale Bargain – Best Buy Flowers & Parcel: Mrs Blackwell Tea Hostess: Mrs Sutton/Mrs Spencer Vote of Thanks: Mrs Brewer SKIP: Beeley, Devonshire Square 7.45-8.45 SKIP: Edensor, The Green 7.45-9.30 Pilsley, Garage Yard 9.45-10.45 Beeley Parish Council Meeting 7.30pm in the Village Hall (Members of the public are welcome to attend)

Thurs 15 Jan: Beeley PCC 7.30 p.m. Mon 26 Jan: Edensor Standing Committee 4 p.m. St. Peter’s Church 100 Club November 2008 st 1 prize £30 No.50 Kim D Rainsford nd 2 prize £20 No.23 Lynne Clark £45 to Church funds We still have vacancies for 5 new members. Please Note: The last draw of the current membership was held in December. Membership now needs to be renewed during January. Payable either in cash, by cheque or standing order - forms are available from Ann Hall. £12 per year, per number. REMINDER! Your 2009 subscription for ‘The Bridge’ is now due. Please pay the person who delivers your magazine - £7.20. Thank you for your continued support and remember we welcome items for inclusion in the magazine. 4

They Do Things Differently in Turkey Revd Clive Thrower writes The south-west corner of Turkey where my daughter lives has a large ex-patriot community, so much so they have their own English language newspaper. My daughter gave me a copy to while away the flight back to the U.K. The following are some headlines and shortened items from the paper. Low-cost graves lead to foreign cemetery boom – as many of the ex-pats decide it is cheaper to be buried in Turkey rather than be flown back home. Burial plots are just 100 euros and you can dig the grave yourself! The Armutalan Town Council (part of Marmaris) is to build a special cemetery for foreigners. There is religious tolerance as evidenced by a recent grave-side ceremony for a German woman where the priest and imam stood side-by-side for the committal. Don’t rush to make a booking though as some councils are now bumping up the prices, having noted the comparable costs in much of Europe! Marmaris area mining licenses revoked – as a result of local protests at the destruction of the natural environment. Turkey really has cleaned up its act on environmental protection and cleanliness. We noticed the lack of roadside plastic and other detritus that used to mar journeys around the countryside. However, like here, the mining companies are mustering an appeal as they seek to get to the rich magnesium ore in those mountains. Shades of the Longstone Edge and Stanton Moor campaigns? Knidos excavations in court – reads a headline about the famous city archaeological site at the end of the Datca peninsular (Saint Paul tried to drop in for tea at Cnidus see Acts 27.7). Fed up with British and American archaeologists plundering the site the Turkish ministry of Culture appointed a Turkish professor to take over the work but he has now been thrown off the job under claims that he demolished the remains beyond repair and had not delivered all his findings to the ministry! No more Males! – as a hotel manager gets fed up with the male staff taking time out to fraternise with the foreign female guests. Since no male staff are being employed the women are having to do traditional male tasks of cleaning the pool, bar tending, repairing broken alarms, night receptionist and waiting roles. What will happen if Turkey joins the E.U. and equal opportunities for a bit of nooky comes in?

Traidcraft It’s been a short month because of early copy dates but sales have still totalled £999, including £111 at the Choral Society Concert, £90 at the Oxfam Sale, £56 at the Oxfam Barn Dance and £32 at the Mystery Plays at All Saints Church, Bakewell. Next month I will be able to give you the total for 2008, which is looking good so far. With best wishes for the New Year. Peter Bird (01629 813087) 5

How long has our church magazine been going? Does anybody know? 2009 may mark the 150th anniversary of the first church magazine ever published. While religious magazines have proliferated for centuries, it was not until January 1859 that there seems to be any clear evidence of a local church getting in on the act. Then the lively young vicar of St. Michael’s, Derby, the Rev J Erskine Clarke, had a brilliant idea… why not a magazine aimed at a parish? He jumped to supply it. Parish Magazine was born, with Erksine Clarke as editor. He was still editing it at its demise 37 years later. This wasn’t yet a fully local production. But it was an important first step. ‘Parish Magazine’ offered parishes a monthly ‘kernel’ of 16 pages to clad in a ‘shell’ of their own material. There might be only four local pages, but it was distributed under the local church’s name. The idea caught on. 60 churches joined that first year alone, and were thereby encouraged to start publishing even just a few pages of their own each month. In its heyday, the ‘Parish Magazine’ insert was to be found in some 200 parish churches in England. And it spawned competitors, two of which ‘inserts’ survive today: Home Words and The Sign. Peter Croft tells much of this story in The Parish Magazine Inset (Parish and People, 1993). Erskine Clarke was a remarkable man. As well as his parish ministry, he wrote – prolifically. As well as a number of books, he launched several other periodicals, including the children’s weekly Chatterbox and a religious newspaper Church Bells. Parish Magazine was written not for the committed church member, but for the parishioners who didn’t attend regular worship. It was evangelistic, yes, but most of all it promoted the values of temperance and family life. The first article in the first issue, ‘Evenings at Home’, evokes in five pages the attractions of the domestic fireside over the public tavern. Today, our church magazine looks quite different to ‘Parish Life’, and rightly so – for one thing, parish life has changed in the last 150 years! But even so, our magazine might not be here today if it had not been for Erskine Clarke and his Parish Magazine, way back in 1869. Do any of our readers know when our own magazine first began? What is the earliest copy we can find? And does anyone know of a church magazine that began before 1859? I have a copy of the cover for Beeley Parish Magazine for January 1936, when Rev’d. B. B. Thompson was vicar. Presumably St. Peter’s also had its own magazine? 6

Who were the Magi? enquiring minds predisposed them to recognise and then follow the star, when it appeared. The star stood for regal power and splendour; here is a firm indication of kingship. Further lines point to the widespread rule of this coming individual. Consequently, when a special star came to the attention of the Magi, they decided to investigate further.

The birth of Jesus – and the star, which heralded his birth – was the activity of God himself. At significant stages of Jesus’ life, certain phenomena featured – the dove at his baptism, the light at his transfiguration, the darkness and earthquake at his death, the cloud at his ascension. These occurrences attested Jesus to those who had minds to understand. Similarly then, at his birth, there was a star.

On reaching Jerusalem, the Magi caused great disruption with their enquiry as to where the new king has been born. Herod’s advisers looked up the prophecies, and announced Bethlehem as the location (Micah 5:2). But none of them made the journey to Bethlehem. It was left to these Gentile enquirers to go and pay homage to Israel’s king.

The significance of the wise men – the ‘Magi’ as they have been termed – is that they were Gentiles, probably from Mesopotamia. Traditionally it seems that the Magi (who were a kind of priestly tribe) were to the Persians what the Levites were to Israel; they were respected instructors of the Persian kings. They would not have benefited directly from the privileges of Judaism or its Scriptures. It is, however, very likely that they would have taken note of a prophecy that had been uttered centuries earlier – by a Gentile prophet, Balaam by name. In fact he was from their own area, Pethor, by the river Euphrates (Numbers 22:4,5). His words would have been remembered down the ages. Their

Worship – not power – was their aim. Another ‘wise man’ in the New Testament, Simon Magus (Acts 8:911), was in a lower order altogether, though through his exploits he wanted to be ‘great’ – and that is the approach of occultism. Not so, the Magi of Matthew chapter 2. They were wise with the wisdom that seeks God, and were obedient to him.

Almighty God, Redeemer... Sunshine and storm, mist and greyness Eddy round our inner lives. But as we trace the pattern, looking back, We know that both darkness and light have been of thine ordaining, For our own soul’s health. Thy constant care in all, and everywhere, Is manifest. Excerpt from ‘The Glory in the Grey’ By George MacLeod, founder of the Iona Community

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Feed the birds Here’s how to keep your garden birds happy this winter: - Provide a variety of seeds, nuts, fruit and meat – different birds like different things. - Never give salty food or desiccated coconut. - Offer stale bread and cake, but never anything mouldy. - Try cooked potato, nuts, raisins, biscuits, cheese, leftover cat food, dripping. - Supply a shallow dish of water for bathing and drinking. - Wash your bird table once a fortnight with hot water and washing up liquid - Bake a bird cake! Mix 1kg self-raising flour, 500g butter, a little sugar and water to make a thick dough. Add grated cheese, apples, raisins, seeds, and so on, and then form the stiff dough into little balls. Bake them in a moderate oven for 25 to 30 minutes. The birds will love them! Would any of our readers volunteer to do a churchyard birdwatch this year?

Garden Birdwatch 2009 If you love wild birds, here is your chance to join the RSPB’s 30th Big Garden Birdwatch, which will be held on 24 and 25 of January. The RSPB are hoping to make it the biggest Garden Birdwatch yet. Taking part is very simple – simply spend an hour that weekend counting the birds that you see in your garden or in a local park. Record the highest number of each species seen (not flying over) at any one time.

It's important you don't count all the birds you see because some birds will return to your garden many times in the hour. For example, seeing the same blue tit come back 10 times does not make for 10 blue tits! The RSPB provide a downloadable counting sheet, and offer an online form to help you send in your results easily. Please visit: www.rspb.org.uk/birdwatch/2009

Easy ways to save some money The old ways really do work well... - Turn off lights in empty rooms around the house - Don’t leave any appliances on standby - Use only as much water as you need when you boil the kettle - Don’t heat an empty house, or rarely used rooms (unless it is freezing outside) - Turn your heating down by at least one degree - Use energy saving light bulbs - Remove your mobile phone charger as soon as the battery is full 8

‘Village Church for Village Life’ Competition Following a successful campaign in 2008, Country Life magazine has launched the Village Church for Village Life Award 2009, with a £10,000 prize for the winning church. The award seeks to discover the finest example of a historic, rural parish church that has successfully engaged the wider community to create a focus for village life in the 21st century. This year, the award is being expanded to include projects that make use of ‘God’s own acre’ (the churchyard), and to recognise those that have attempted to make their churches environmentally sustainable. More information and an entry form, together with details of last year’s award, from www.countrylife.co.uk/villagechurch. Royal Mail receives Church of England's stamp of approval The Church of England warmly welcomed the Royal Mail's decision last year to issue Christmas stamps with a Christian theme in parallel to their 'Pantomime' series. The Royal Mail printed tens of millions of both sets of stamps.

Royal Mail produced Christmas stamps which recognise that people celebrate Christmas as the birth of Jesus. I welcome stamps that carry images that are explicitly Christian, and hope that the Post Office will continue to produce Christian stamps each Christmas.”

Canon Dr Christina Baxter, Principal of St John's College, Nottingham, and sponsor of the 2004 General Synod motion about Christian Christmas stamps, said: "I am delighted that the

This was the first time that both religious and secular stamps were available to consumers simultaneously.

A New Year’s Resolution for your car Do you have plans for this year? Better begin with something really basic: how are your car tyres? That may sound ridiculous, but if your tyres are low or worn out, you may not get very far this year – in even the most basic of ways! 45 per cent of drivers do not know that the minimum legal tread depth for car tyres is 1.6 mm. Among female drivers, this rises to 60 per cent. But the good news is that the National Tyre Distribution Association offers free tyre health checks by trained technicians at more than 2,700 member centres across the UK. To find your nearest centre, visit www.ntda.co.uk and enter the name of the place where you live in the depot look-up box. 9

Whoops - there goes another billion pounds or two! Michael Wilson, Director of the Seamen’s Christian Friend Society, considers what God might be saying in the current financial crisis.

What’s a billion pounds between friends, eh? Have you ever known a time when so much taxpayers’ money has been spent rescuing the very institutions that, traditionally, have told US to live within our means? But perhaps that’s the problem: most bank managers these days have been disguised salesmen, whose main interest has become persuading us to borrow as much money as possible. But the time of reckoning has arrived. What are Christians to make of it all? Can we see God’s hand in the economic earthquake? It’s almost as if the two chapter prophecy of Haggai has been especially written for the modern age. The whole point of a prophecy is that God wants to rock His people out of complacency. It has always been thus. Is the Church today (i.e. you and me) in need of a good shake? Have we been just a little too comfortable - so much so, that we have neglected our main reason for existing? Isn’t our first priority to serve God in gratitude for what He has done through His Son, Jesus? Shouldn’t our every waking thought be all about how we can serve God

and, in the process, serve others? Have we neglected this? Haggai’s prophecy opens with a call to build the house of the Lord: Is it a time for you yourselves to be living in your panelled houses, while this house remains a ruin? (1:4). An uncomfortable phrase crops up twice (1:5 and 1:7): Give careful thought to your ways. It is clear that God’s people were more focused on their own creature comforts than they were with getting on with their God-given mission. Could this be where many of us are today? Haggai warns that God is saying: ‘In a little while I will once more shake the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land. I will shake all nations...The silver is mine and the gold is mine...’ (2: 6-8). We live in distressing times. The old economic order is changing. Is God telling us to change our priorities? Perhaps the Christian life should be more about mission, and less about accumulation; more about serving than being served; more about listening to God than telling Him what we want. One thing we can all do: pray that God will speak clearly through times of turmoil so that we are ready to let go and simply serve.

Book Review THE GIFT OF YEARS - Growing Older Gracefully Joan Chittister Darton Longman and Todd £12.95

The world glorifies youth and degrades old age. The Gift of Years flies in the face of this conventional wisdom. It is a wonderful celebration of the blessings of growing older, clear-eyed and unsentimental about the reality of the ageing process but showing us that our later years are a gift, not burden. It is time for us, Joan Chittister says, to let go of both our fantasies of eternal youth and our fears of getting older. 10

What makes clergy happy? A survey undertaken by Professor Leslie Francis in 2004, but only recently published, asked rural clergy, each responsible for at least three churches, what made them happy. Not Christmas! This event is recognised as a key time of stress for nearly everyone except children. Resolving parish conflict is another key area of stress for many clergy.

identified by 94% as indicating their happiness. Then came “Life is good” for 78%, “I feel life is very rewarding” by 76%, and “I am intensely interested in other people” for 75%.

‘Happiness’ is a subjective term and its precise definition is not agreed, except that it focuses on ‘life satisfaction’ and ‘general well-being’, which are equally vague terms. A Happiness Questionnaire, produced by researchers in Oxford, was used to identify what makes rural clergy happy.

What made these people unhappy? The top two factors were “Not having fun with other people” (84%), and not having “a particular sense of meaning and purpose in life” (81%). The latter may seem especially strange for clergy!

These might be summarised as Beauty, Balance and People. Each is deepened by, and perhaps a reflection of, a growing relationship with God.

What makes you happy? It has been said that if you seek happiness as an end in and of itself, it will elude you but if you seek to give happiness, you will find it.

There were four items, which were endorsed by at least three-quarters of these clergy. Top by a long margin was “I find beauty in some things” Book Review

Pilgrim's Way - Journeying through the year with the Bible David Winter brf £9.99 It's easy for Christians, new or established, to feel daunted by the Bible. The huge tome, with all its significance and importance, can seem like too much to take in. In Pilgrim's Way, established author David Winter brings together some of the most well-known and well-loved parts of the Bible. His gentle yet intelligent teaching makes the learning process that much easier, and is perfect for helping people get into devotional Bible reading. It's a chance to move from being daunted by the Bible to gaining a greater understanding of it. Pilgrim's Way is ideal for a confirmation or adult baptism gift. It is also ideally suited for those looking for non-dated devotional Bible reading, or for those looking for something more substantial after The 100 Minute Bible. 11

Don’t let them steal your identity Philip Barron considers identity fraud

It could happen to you. Identity theft can take many forms and we must all be on our guard. Plastic card fraud alone cost £535 million in 2007 and there is also a great deal of cheque fraud (counterfeit or forged cheques or real cheques that are altered) and other scams.

order or on the internet. Businesses accepting these cards are unable to check the card’s physical security features. Properties with communal letterboxes are vulnerable to mail non-receipt fraud (where cards are stolen in transit) although this has declined with the introduction of chip-and-PIN. The banking industry works closely with the Royal Mail to identify fraud hot-spots. Card issuers may use secure couriers to deliver to high-risk postcodes.

One would think that by now everyone would know that banks will never ask a customer for their account details over the internet, yet ‘phishing’ by criminals using fake messages that can look convincing still goes on. Any reply to such an email will go to some crook’s computer in a faraway country.

Believe it or not, many people still write down their PIN and keep it in their purse or wallet near their card. The risk is obvious.

Illegal copies of genuine debit or credit cards are often used, as well as lost or stolen cards. A card-holder may be unaware of a fraudulent purchase until his next statement arrives, but many card issuers now have sophisticated ways of spotting unusual spending patterns when dodgy purchases are made.

If you have reason to think that you have been targeted, it is a good idea to contact a credit reference agency such as Experian and buy (for a small fee) a copy of your credit report. Every year thousands of people take this step after becoming victims of fraud. To protect yourself in advance, take a look at the Home Office website www.identitytheft.org.uk

Also common is card-not-present fraud, where thieves obtain genuine card details in the real world and make purchases by phone, mail-

27 January Angela Merici (1474 – 1540) 2009 is the International Year of the Child, and Angela is a good saint to remember as the year gets underway. Not only did she herself survive a harsh childhood, but she went on to dedicate her own life to helping children in need. Angela was born near Lake Garda, in Desenzano, where she was orphaned as a young child. The 1480s were hardly an easy time for orphaned girls, but somehow Angela survived to grow into her teens, when she became a Franciscan tertiary. However miserable her own childhood, Angela chose to let it work for good in her life: she decided to devote her own life to the education of poor girls. Girls! This was a time when most of the men were illiterate! But Angela was an audacious woman, and she had only just begun. She and some close companions set to work in the name of Christ, seeking out the poor families in

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their community. Angela taught the young girls all that she could, and prayed with them, assuring them that even they were precious in the eyes of their Creator. All of which left the Roman Catholic Church badly baffled. What should they do with religious sisters who had taken no vows, still wore their lay clothes and who, instead of walling themselves up in some nunnery to lead an enclosed life, spent their days in a decidedly mobile, highly visible fashion – out and about in community support? It wasn’t until 1565, some 25 years AFTER Angela’s death that the Church decided it approved of such work. By then the Ursuline nuns, as they were by then called, were going from strength to strength. They still flourish today, with some 2,400 Ursuline Sisters in 27 provinces on six continents, and have been well described as ‘the oldest and most considerable teaching order of women in the RC Church.’ It took nearly 300 years, but in 1807 the Roman Catholic Church decided that Angela, unveiled, unenclosed and unsupervised as she had been, had been a saint after all – and ‘made’ her one.

To detox or not detox...? Have you overdone the feasting and drinking? Feel as queasy as you look? Wondering whether a detox diet might be the only thing that will save you now? Nonsense, it is all a rip-off. So says a senior scientist at the Food Standards Agency (FSA). Ignore the fad diets and the supplements market, which rake in millions of pounds each year. Your body does not need them to rid itself of toxins; it already has an excellent built-in mechanism: your liver (or what is left of it!) Instead, follow these cheap and easy steps back to health: - drink a glass or two of tap water (just as good as bottled) - take some exercise – if only a walk in the park - enjoy some simple home-cooked food - eat some fruit and vegetables - avoid processed meats, whether smoked, cured, or salted

Morning Tea knock on the door of the bishop’s room and then say loud and clear: "It's the boy, my Lord, it's time to get up."

A vicar in a small country church was looking forward to an important visit from his bishop, which would involve the bishop staying overnight at the vicarage after the service. His young son became very excited, as he had never spoken to a bishop before.

The young son was very excited and rehearsed his lines, repeating them over and over. Finally the bishop came and spent the night. Next morning came and the young lad went to the door and knocked. He cried loudly: "It's the Lord, my boy, and your time is up!"

The vicar decided that his young son should be allowed to knock on the bishop’s door in the morning, and bring him in his morning tea. His father gave him instructions: “First, 13

Smile…

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie An old, tired-looking dog wandered into my garden one day. I could tell from his collar and well-fed tummy that he had a home and was well taken care of. Calmly, he came over to me, and then followed me into my house. Slowly he walked down the hall, into the sitting room, curled up on the hearthrug, and fell asleep.

This daily visit with a nap continued off and on for several weeks. Curious, I finally pinned a note to his collar: "I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful, sweet dog is, and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap." The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with six children, two under the age of three he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"

An hour or so later he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, greeted me in my garden, walked by me into the house, and again slept for an hour or so in the sitting room.

And again… How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb? One, since his/her hands are in the air anyway. How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb? The whole congregation needs to vote on it! How many Anglo-Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They always use candles instead. How many conservative Anglicans does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change it and two to storm out in protest if the person changing it is a woman. How many Brethren does it take to change a light bulb? Change????? How many Evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb? Evangelicals do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and hope the light bulb will decide to change itself. How many Atheists does it take to change a light bulb? You can ask them to change it as often as you like, but they'll still remain in darkness. Review Basic Christianity (50th Anniversary Edition) John Stott IVP £7.99 'Jesus certainly existed. His existence as an historical figure is vouched for by pagan as well as Christian writers,' says John Stott. In this famous little book, Dr Stott goes on to consider some of the fundamental questions of Christianity: Who was Jesus? Why was he crucified? Did he really rise from the dead? The author offers a clear and full explanation, showing what it means to be a Christian today. 14

SERVICES & ROTAS FOR JANUARY 2009 St. Anne’s, Beeley Flowers 4 Jan 11 Jan 18 Jan 25 Jan

9.30am 9.30am 9.30am 9.30am

Holy Communion Holy Communion Holy Communion Holy Communion

2.30pm Evensong 2.30pm Evensong

Mrs Homer " " Mrs Hopkins " "

St. Peter’s, Edensor 4 Jan 11 Jan 18 Jan 25 Jan 4 Jan 11 Jan 18 Jan 25 Jan

Sidesmen 10.30am Holy Communion Mr & Mrs Machin 10.30am Holy Communion Mr & Mrs Wardle 10.30am Matins R S Sherwood/Diana Walters 10.30am Holy Communion R A Gray/J Bowns Coffee Cleaning Flowers Mrs Cooper/Mrs Clarke Mrs Sherwood/Mrs Kembery To be arranged Pat Cree ----------------------------" " Mrs Mather Mrs Davies/Mrs Walters " " Mr & Mrs Sherwood -----------------------------Liz Bradshaw

Readings at St. Peter’s 4 Jan 11 Jan 18 Jan 25 Jan

Epistle Gospel Isaiah 60: 1-6 Matthew 2: 1-12 Epiphany Genesis 1: 1-5 Mark 1: 4-11 Epiphany 1 Baptism of Jesus Isaiah 3: 1-10 -----------------------Epiphany 2 Call to discipleship Genesis 14: 17-20 John 2: 1-11 Epiphany 2 Water into Wine

Reader Diana Walters Margaret Thomas Diana Symonds Tony Gray

From the Registers Baptism

St. Anne’s Beeley~

16th November ~ Lucas Thomas Wrath

‘The Bridge’ Parish Magazine –60p per copy (£7.20 per year) Items for inclusion in the February magazine should reach me by Monday 12th January. e-mail:[email protected]

‘SPICE’ Sunday The amount of 5 pence pieces collected on the last ‘SPICE’ Sunday, 12th October, was £44.70. Thank you to everyone who remembered to bring them along. The next ‘SPICE’ Sunday will be 18th January 2009. The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, moves on. And so I stare and wonder where does the ink come from?! 15

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