Optimism

optimism George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Bush!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Sheeda from Chuk no -3, District Gujrat, Pakistan. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!" "Well, Sheeda," Bush replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," said Sheeda, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Basheera, my next door neighbour Karam Deen, and the entire kabaddi team from the village. That makes eight." Bush paused. "I must tell you, Sheeda that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "BLOODY Hell " said Sheeda. "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the next day, Sheeda called again. "Mr. Bush, it is Sheeda, I'm calling from Chuk no-3 Gujrat, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be, Sheeda?" Bush asked. "Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amjad's tractor." Bush sighed. "I must tell you, Sheeda, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke." "Oh teri (oops)....." said Sheeda. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough Sheeda rang again the next day. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne ...... We've modified Amjads's tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator. Four boys from Sahiwal have joined us as well!" Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Sheeda, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" "Tera pala hove ...." said Sheeda, "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, Sheeda called again the next day. "Kehse?, Mr. Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war." "I'm sorry to hear that," said Bush. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Sheeda, "we've all had a long chat over a couple of days and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners!"