Nukkad (polarisation).docx
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Nukkad (Polarisation) Introduction Janhit mai pesh hai aap sab ke lie yeh tadakta, fadakta masaaledarrr!!! Disclaimer number 1 Yahan par dikhaye gaye jitne bhi scene hai, bilkul bhi kalpanik nahi hai. Yeh sab hamari roz marra ki zindagi mai dekhe ya phir sune hui ghatnayen hai. Sabhi logo se darkhwast hai ki ise khule dimaag se dekhen. Ham log kisi bhi ek party ke virruhd nahi hai. Isliye jugnu na banen, bewajah apni na jalayen. Sheep: Mei.. mei.. mei.. Mei. //Shepherd shouting slogans and sheeps repeating// Shephard: “Raam lala ham aayenge, Mandir Wahin banayenge!” (Sheep repeat in unison) Shephard: “Chorrho mudda shauchalaya wala, pehle banayenge gau shaala!” (Sheep Repeat in unison) Shephard: “Minority ko quota dilayenge, Phir unka vote lejayenge!” (Sheep repeat in unison)
Shephard: “Raam lala ham ayenge, Mandir Wahin banayenge!” //All sheep repeat, but Two sheep go out of the line // Sheep: “Raam ko toh dil mai laana hai, uske liye mandir kyun banana hai?” //Shephard hits them with a stick and they are forced back into the moving line// Shephard: “Chorrho mudda shauchalay wala, pehle banayenge gaushala!” //All sheep repeat, but two sheep get out of the line again// Sheep: “Gau ka tax toh lagaoge, Par garibo ke ghar kab basaogey?” //Shephard hits them with a stick and they are forced back into the moving line// Shephard: “Minority ko quota dilayenge, Phir unka vote lejayenge!” (Sheep again repeat in unison )
Sheep: Meii. Mei.. Mei.. Mei.. //Fades out//
Scene 2
//News headlines in the background// “Dhyaan se dekhiye is shaqs ko, Yeh bhootkaal se hamare samay mai aaya hai!!!” //Person approaches autowala// Person: “Bhaiya, Mughalsaray chalenge kaa?” Autowala: “Arey bhaiya kaunsa mughalsarai?” (/News in Background: MughalSarai junction ka naam aaj sey Deen dayal upadhyay junction kardiya gaya hai//) Person: ”Arey yaar! Apna wahi mughalSarai! Chalo chorrho. Gurgaon chalen” Autowala: ”Kahan bhai? Kahan hai gurgaon, Kaunsa gurgaon?” (/News in background// Gurgaon ko Gurukul ke samman mai gurugram naam diya jaata hai) Person: ”Yeh bhi jaane do yaar, tum allahbad chal lo.” Autowala: ”Bhaiya, Prayagraaj ki baat karat hain?” (//News in Background: Dharm ki Nagri prayagraaj ko dubara sthapit krne ke liye allahbad ka naam aajse Prayagraaj hai//) Person: ”Arey yaar tum to saala sab galat hi bataye jaa rahe ho!!! Hindustan maii hi haii na hamm??” Autowala: ”He he he he he, Kaunsa hindustan??”
//Narration//
Scene 3
//Atif Aslam Singing// Person 1: ”Yaaar atif aslam ki awaaz kitni amazing hai yaar!” Person 2: ”He is so melodious yar!” Person 2: ”Saala sab kutte hain pakistani, hamare tukdo pe pal rahe hain” Person 3: ”Ae saale jaa apne desh mai gaa na!” Person 4: ”Saala jis thali mai khaatey hai usi mai hagte hain” Person5: ”Atankwadi ho tum sab hutiye kahin ke. Wapas jao pakistanm!!!” Person 6: ”Baap Baap Hota hai beta beta! Islie baap ke paas aate ho hamesha tum paiso ke lalach mai!”
//3 friends coming out of the concert// Friend 1: ”Yaar bat toh sahi kari inhone. Inke paas apna desh hai.. hamare yahan kyun aajate hain?” Friend 2: ”Hamare yahan aa bhi rahe hain agar, toh inke desh ne jo attacks kare hai unko condemn kyu nahi kartey?” Friend 3: ”Dekho bhaio, mere hisaab se isme kuch galat nahi hai. Yeh lolg, hamare desh mai aakar kaam krkar hmari industry mai chaar chand laga rahe hain! Aur india aur pakistan bhi to ek hi mulk tha!” Friend 1: ”Saale tu bhi pakistani supporter nikla? Anti National kahin ka” Friend 3: ”Mai kisi ke support mai ya against mai nahi khada hu.. mere hisaab se kala ka koi mulk, koi desh nahi hota! Art, in sab chizo se badhkar hai!” Friend 2: ”Ary jaa sale, tujh jaise logon ke lie hamare jawaan sena par lad rahe hain? Laanat hai tujhpar” Friend 3: ” Accha.. toh mera sochne ka tarika agar tumse alag hai.. Ya mere opinion tumhare se mel nahi khaatey, toh mai anti national? Mai gaddar hun?” Friend 1: ”Ary yeh sab phizool ki baaten hame mat samjha! Jo bhi pakistani supporter hai woh gaddar hai! Tujhe toh is desh se hi nikal dena chahiye! Tum jaise logon ko hindustan mai saans lene ka koi haqq nahi hai!!”
Friend 3: : ”Kyun? Logical Answer dene ki kshamta kaha hai tumhari? Tumhe politicians, or in logon ne, jo influential hai, is tarah se brainwash kardia hai.. tumme apne dilo dimaag se phaisla
lene ki himmat hi nahi bachi hai!!!! Saala har argument mai sena ka hawala dekar apni problems chupaate ho tumog! Unki pareshani ka ratti bhar bhi andaaza hai tumhey?” //soldier, soldier.. kya hua yeh bolkar//? //Narration//
Scene 4 Media //Family Watching TV, Changing channels For news// Channel 1: ”Sansanikhez khabar!! Gopi bahu ke haath se gira gilaas!!! Pati ki jaan ko khatra!” Channel 2: ”Chaliye aaj aapko lekar chalte hai yogi adityanath ke naii ke pas, jinke pas hai yogi ji ke chikne sar ka raaz!” Channel 3: ”Dekhiye Nawab Ki beevi Kareena kapoor khan ki airport looks!!” Channel 4: ”News debate Panel” //Formation// //Panelists// Person 1 (Samajhdar, Par ignored) Anchor (Anchor hun, Cheekhunga) Person 3: (Jhoothey facts ki dukaan) Person 4: (Pointless, Par chadhjaunga) Panel Anchor: I tell you!!! You, You, YOUUU!! Shut up. This is my channel, and you will only speak when is shut up! Joki hone nahi waala hai kabhi!!!!! Person4: Arey mai keh raha hu inki party ne kara hi kyaa haii!!!! Salaa akar kursi pe nawaab ki tarah phail gaye hain bass!! Person 3: Tumhari party ne 1970 mai yeh kiya! Woh kiya! Kuch hua! Kahan hua? Anchor: Person 3, How dare youu!!! How dare you condescend me?? Person 3: Blehhjehejhjshskjhkjh PErson 4: //gibberish// Anchor: Mute, but lipsing End (Not complete yet)
//Circle deforms and makes 3 groups// 1. Minister With officials
2. Audience 3. Rally //All groups still//
Scene 5 // A reporter and cameraman go to the first group// Reporter: “Aaiye ab aapko ham lekar chalte hai Minister _____________ Ke ghar par! Jahan par IAS _______ ke sath unki chal rahi hai secret meeting!!” Shulkla ji: ”Minister sahab aapka dhyaan kuch muddon ki taraf kheenchna tha.” Minister: ”Arey aiyye aiyye, Shukla ji, bataiye?” Shuklaji: ”Woh sir... Sadak ke gaddhe abhi tak nahi bhare hain.” Minister: ”Arey Shuklaji! Bas kuch dino ki toh baat hai! Darasal yeh election ke chakkar mai thoda kharcha ziyada hogaya hai.” Shuklaji: ”Ji huzoor.” (Circle in unison: ji huzoor) Shuklaji: ”Sir woh sarvajanik shauchalay ka budget toh nikl tha.. par uspar koi karwai nahi shuru hui.” Minister: ”Arey chinta kyu karte hain.. Muslim kshetra ka toh ban gaya hai na? Bas.. Unka vote toh ajayega!” Shukla ji: ”Ji huzoor..” Shuklaji: ”Aur aajkal apne area mai chori ki ghatnayen bhi bahut hori hain..” Minister: ”Yeh saala neech jaati ke log hotey hi aise hai!! Criminal kahin ke! Par ab kya karen, vote toh inka bhi chahiye na!” Shuklaji: ”Ji huzoor..” Shukla ji: ”Sir aur woh police bhi koi action nahi le rahi hai..” Minister: ”Arrey shuklaji, Kaisi baat kar rahe hain? Police toh hamare sath haina.. in kaamo mai uljha diya agr, toh hame protection kaun dega? Chaliye, Shuklaji! Ab jaakar logon ka banakar aatey hain.”
Reporter: Chaliye aapko ab ham lekar chalte hai ______ ki rally main!! Jahan woh janta ko address karengey! //The reporter goes into the crowd to ask them questions//
Scene 6 //Everyone shouting slogans in gibberish// //gibberish//.. ”Raam Mandir!!” //gibberish// ”Rozgaar!!” //gibberish// ”Corruption!!” //gibberish// ”Black money!!!” //gibberish// ”Secularism!!” //gibberish// ”Swachata abhiyan!” //gibberish// ”Education! Sarkar zindabad!!” //Gibberish// ”Yahi sarkaar ayegi!!” //gibberish// Person 1: ”Arrey par mai to unemployed hun itne saalo se mai kyun naara lagaun?” //people aggressively// ”Aey lagata hai ya nahi lagata naara tu?” Person 1 //shouts// ”Yahi sarkaar ayegi!” Person 2: ”Yeh hui na baat!!” //Interviewer turns in//
Interviewer: ”Arey bhaktonnnnn!! Apni akl ka namuna nahi dena chahogey? Tv par aogey tv parr!!” Interview dedooo!! Interview!! Interview dedooo
//moves around// Arey woh dekh kya gala phaad kar naara laga rahe hain!!! // Sir, sir aap! //points to person 2// Yeh naara toh aapne laga diya!!!! aap is sarkaar ki 5 qualites bataiye! Person 2 : ”5 qualitiess.. arey woh... kapde acchey pehente hain…” Interviewer: Awlelelel!!! Aaapka hogayaa, aap niklaiye. ”Bhaijaan aap bataiyee!!! aapko kyu lagta hai.. Ki yeh sarkaar! YEEHH!! SARKAAR! Kyu aani chahiye?” Person 3: ”Arey itnaa kaam kare hainn!!! itnaaa zyaada kaam!” Interviewer: ”Arey kitna kaam???” Person 3: //hand gestures// Itnaaa kaaaaaaaam!!!!!
//Interviewer laughs// Interviewer: ”Arey woh buddhe se uncle hai! Chalo unse jaakar puchte hain!!” Interviewer: ”Arey uncle ji!! aap samajhdar lagte hain! Aap bataiye!! Kaunsi sarkar layenge??” Person 4: ”Bhayiii aisa haii!!! khodii sarkaar zindabaadd!!! mai kehta hu jo is sarkar ke virodhi hai, woh hindustan ke virodhi hain! Bahar phaink do!” Person 5: ”Arey hamne tooo khodii ji ke chehre ka tattoo banwa rakha hai!! //interviewer mocks again// Interviewer: ”Arey woh dekhiye!!! Handi supporter handi supporter!!!” Haanji Sir!! toh aap handi supporter hain>? Person 6: ”Bilkul hain ji!! Are handi ji to bhagwaan hai!! is desh ko unki zarurat aise hai gulabjamun mai chashni ki!” Interviewer: ”Arey devi ji aap bhi handi supporter!” Person 7: ”Haanji bilkulll!! hamare ghar maii gas nahi aaye, chahe chulhe mai haath jalen, chahe dhue se aankhe laal ho.. Khule mai hagna pade aur ham par khuleaam hamle hote rahen!!!! par hame chahiye!! handii zindabad!!!! handii zindabad!!!!” Interviewer: ”Toh ji apka handi ji ki policies ke baare mai kya khayal hai?” Person 8: ”Dekho ji aisa hai.. handi ji mere vichaar mai.. ji bohot badiya admi hai! Bohot hi honest.. bohot hi hardworking!” ”Arey uncleee quality nahi policy! Policy! Yojna” Person 8: ”Acha yojna.. dekh bhai aisa hai.. Power mai pehla aane to de! Policy pulucy se kuch na hota! Sarkaar ban gayi to balle balle bas!!! Policy ka kya hai? Woh to koi aur sarkaar bhi banaleti! Par handi ji. Admi kahan, Devta hai Devta! !” Person 5: ”Aey saale yeh rahe handi ke supporyer!! eyy! Batara hu mai tujhe! Tere handi ki tarah tujhe bhi garm chulhle par rakhke phunk dunga!!” Person 8: ”Arey tu dekh sala tere khodii ko kaise khodkar phainkte hai uski jadon se!” Interviewer: ”Aur yahan par maamla garmaata hua!”
// in unison// Arreyy!! Netajii Agayee!! netajiii aagayeeeee!!!!
Scene 7
DISCLAIMER NUMBER 2
Person 1: ”Ab yahan par netaji apna bhashan denge!!!! Jin mai bhi dimaag kami hai, paiso ke bhookhey hain, aage aakar naare lagayen. {Batana chahunga ki Janta ka Saara paisa hamne netaji aur unke pyaado ki sharaab, unki aiyyashi, aur voters ko pataane ke liye laga diya hai.} Aasha karte hai ki aap log netaji ki chikni chupdi baaton mai aakar, ek baar phir apna keemti vote inhe dekar apna paagal banwayenge.” AREY SHIT! ABHI ANTI NATIONAL HOTE HOTE BACHA MAI! Bharat mata ki jaiiiiiiii!!
Netaji: ”Aurr ab mai bolunga kuch random baaten jisse tumhe lagega ki mai bahut samajhdar, imaandar aur Aap sab ke lie kaam krne waala hun, Arey mere Vote bank! Mai jitne bhi vaade ab tumse krne jaara hu, inme se ek bhi agar nibha gaya toh mera naam badal dena!”
Netaji: ”Bijli aur paani ki baaten kar raha hu taaki sabko lage ki mai gaaon aur kisano ki parwah krta hu.” ”Hamari unemployed youth ko woh naukriyan dene ka wada jo exist hi nahi karti.” //Everyone in unison// ”Bhayyi waah! Kya soch hai! Waah!!! ” Netaji:” Mai vaada karta hi ki har gaon har shehar mai school khulwaane, kitaabe muft dene ka waada kitabon mai hi rahega” //Everyone in unison// Kya gazab door ki sochte hain sir aap!! Waah WAah!! Netaji: ”Aur ab….Mai kuch bhi naara lagaunga toh tum repeat karogey aur mere ishaare par kuch bhi krne ko taiyar hojaogey, aur mujhe is desh ka maseeha aur bhagwaan maan logeyy!” //Everyone in unison// ”Arey waah netaji !! waah waah!! Aap kuch bhi bologey, ham to waah karenge hi. Paise jo khaye hain”
Netaji: ”Ab jab tum log itne bewakoof ho, Toh boliye mere pichheyy!!! Aaadhahahahahahaaa ” // Everyone in unison// ”Aahahahahahaaaa” Netaji: Ohhhh ohoo hoh ho hohoh o! // Everyone in unison// ”Ohh hohohohohohoho”
Netaji: ”Aur feel ke saath!!!!!” // /Everyone in unison// ”Aaahahahahhahaaaaa ” ”Shauchalya ka kya hi karogey… khule mai hagte ho, haglo. Mai bhi to abhi yahi kar raha hu!” // Everyone in unison//” Arey waah waah netaji! Kya kaam kara hai! Wah!” Netaji:” Aur aakhir mai.. Bas aap logon se yahi kehna chahunga mai!! ”Bhaad mai gaye tumhare roti kapda aur makaan, mujhe to chalani hai apni dhandhli (bhrastachar, kaali kartuton) ki dukaan” ”Ab itna kuch sun kar agar maan hi chuke ho, toh jeetne ke baad opposite party ke putle phukwaane aur riots karwaaney mai poori madad krna! (opposite party ka dehan)” ”Bahut shukriya! ” // People in unison// ”Netaji zindabad” ”Desh nahi zinda, sirf abaad”
Mob lynching Scene //Mob standing with their leader// Leader (In aggression): ”Woh log hamare saath aisa kaise kar sakte hain? Hamari jagah kaise le skate hain? EK myaan mai do talwaare rahi hai bhala kabhi? Iska ilaaj to karna hi hoga. Is kisse ko ab khatm karna hi hoga!! Par sawaal hai kaisey?”
//mob goes silent, confused. All start whispering kaisey kaisey to each other// // Person 3 slowly says.// “Maarkar. Unhe maarkar.” //All join in one by one// Person1 : ”Magar sir, kanoon ka kya? Pakde gaye toh?” Leader: ”Arey kaboon ko dekh lengeyyy!!!! tu bas maar” //All screaming// ”maaro maaro maaro” Group leader to Person 1: ”Tu is group ka hai ya us group kaa?” (Jaati) Person 1: ”Hain? Kya?” Person 2: ”Saaley batata hai ya nahi batata?” Person1:” Us group ka” //Beating and screaming and throws in the center of the circle//
Person 3 to person 2 ”Tu is group ka hai ya us group ka? Re jaldi bolll” (Dharma) Person 2: ”Bhai kaunsa group? Kaisa group?” Person 3: ”Sayani poonch, zabaan ladaata hai saale bhutiye, maar re saale ke” //beating and screaming and throws in the center of the circle// Person 4 to person 5: ”Is group ka hai ya us group ka?” (samuday) Group Leader: ”Arey puch ke reha hai, maar saale ke.. usi ka hai pandu pakka” //thrashing, Screaming and throws into the circle// Group leader to Person 3 ”O mancho ennu v faddle! O ehnu v! Saale sare ikko jehe ne!!!! vaddo saleya nu !!!!” //Person 6 and Person 7 get lynched// //beats and screaming and throws again in circle// Group leader to person 8: ”Oye? Tu insaan hai kya? Tu insaan kyu lagra hai?” //turns towards all the mob// ”OYEEE YE INSAAAN MIL GAYA! MAARO!!!” //all the victims are crying, screaming, in the middle of the circle. The mob advances towards them, and beats them once more, They are drizzled with petrol and burned on the spot.// //Screaming and crying continues// //mob celebrates// Person 5: ”Ab Yeh Hua na swachh Bharat!!!! Sari gandagi mita dii!!!” //All sing in unison// ”Swachh bharat ka irada!! iraada karlia hamney!” //fades out//
//Narration//
Solution Scenes
Who is the real villain //Two people sitting on the bench, doing idle things, just sitting and pondering, flying away flies, pricking noses//
//a third person emerges from beneath the bench, Slaps Person 1 and then hides again// Person 1: Kyu maara bey?? Person 2: Maine? Bhai mai kyu maarunga tujhey? Person1: Aur kaun dikh raha hai mujhe marne waala yahan? //both start approaching each other and Person 3 and his group emerge from the background, and start provoking// //Arey yahi tha!! Isi ne maara! Maine apni aankho se dekha!!!// //Arey ruka kyu hua hai tu maar na iskeee// //
Shephard: “Raam lala ham ayenge, Mandir Wahin banayenge!” //All sheep repeat, but Two sheep go out of the line // Sheep: “Raam ko toh dil mai laana hai, uske liye mandir kyun banana hai?” //Shephard hits them with a stick and they are forced back into the moving line// Shephard: “Chorrho mudda shauchalay wala, pehle banayenge gaushala!” //All sheep repeat, but two sheep get out of the line again// Sheep: “Gau ka tax toh lagaoge, Par garibo ke ghar kab basaogey?” //Shephard hits them with a stick and they are forced back into the moving line// Shephard: “Minority ko quota dilayenge, Phir unka vote lejayenge!” (Sheep again repeat in unison )
Sheep: Meii. Mei.. Mei.. Mei.. //Fades out//
Scene 2
//News headlines in the background// “Dhyaan se dekhiye is shaqs ko, Yeh bhootkaal se hamare samay mai aaya hai!!!” //Person approaches autowala// Person: “Bhaiya, Mughalsaray chalenge kaa?” Autowala: “Arey bhaiya kaunsa mughalsarai?” (/News in Background: MughalSarai junction ka naam aaj sey Deen dayal upadhyay junction kardiya gaya hai//) Person: ”Arey yaar! Apna wahi mughalSarai! Chalo chorrho. Gurgaon chalen” Autowala: ”Kahan bhai? Kahan hai gurgaon, Kaunsa gurgaon?” (/News in background// Gurgaon ko Gurukul ke samman mai gurugram naam diya jaata hai) Person: ”Yeh bhi jaane do yaar, tum allahbad chal lo.” Autowala: ”Bhaiya, Prayagraaj ki baat karat hain?” (//News in Background: Dharm ki Nagri prayagraaj ko dubara sthapit krne ke liye allahbad ka naam aajse Prayagraaj hai//) Person: ”Arey yaar tum to saala sab galat hi bataye jaa rahe ho!!! Hindustan maii hi haii na hamm??” Autowala: ”He he he he he, Kaunsa hindustan??”
//Narration//
Scene 3
//Atif Aslam Singing// Person 1: ”Yaaar atif aslam ki awaaz kitni amazing hai yaar!” Person 2: ”He is so melodious yar!” Person 2: ”Saala sab kutte hain pakistani, hamare tukdo pe pal rahe hain” Person 3: ”Ae saale jaa apne desh mai gaa na!” Person 4: ”Saala jis thali mai khaatey hai usi mai hagte hain” Person5: ”Atankwadi ho tum sab hutiye kahin ke. Wapas jao pakistanm!!!” Person 6: ”Baap Baap Hota hai beta beta! Islie baap ke paas aate ho hamesha tum paiso ke lalach mai!”
//3 friends coming out of the concert// Friend 1: ”Yaar bat toh sahi kari inhone. Inke paas apna desh hai.. hamare yahan kyun aajate hain?” Friend 2: ”Hamare yahan aa bhi rahe hain agar, toh inke desh ne jo attacks kare hai unko condemn kyu nahi kartey?” Friend 3: ”Dekho bhaio, mere hisaab se isme kuch galat nahi hai. Yeh lolg, hamare desh mai aakar kaam krkar hmari industry mai chaar chand laga rahe hain! Aur india aur pakistan bhi to ek hi mulk tha!” Friend 1: ”Saale tu bhi pakistani supporter nikla? Anti National kahin ka” Friend 3: ”Mai kisi ke support mai ya against mai nahi khada hu.. mere hisaab se kala ka koi mulk, koi desh nahi hota! Art, in sab chizo se badhkar hai!” Friend 2: ”Ary jaa sale, tujh jaise logon ke lie hamare jawaan sena par lad rahe hain? Laanat hai tujhpar” Friend 3: ” Accha.. toh mera sochne ka tarika agar tumse alag hai.. Ya mere opinion tumhare se mel nahi khaatey, toh mai anti national? Mai gaddar hun?” Friend 1: ”Ary yeh sab phizool ki baaten hame mat samjha! Jo bhi pakistani supporter hai woh gaddar hai! Tujhe toh is desh se hi nikal dena chahiye! Tum jaise logon ko hindustan mai saans lene ka koi haqq nahi hai!!”
Friend 3: : ”Kyun? Logical Answer dene ki kshamta kaha hai tumhari? Tumhe politicians, or in logon ne, jo influential hai, is tarah se brainwash kardia hai.. tumme apne dilo dimaag se phaisla
lene ki himmat hi nahi bachi hai!!!! Saala har argument mai sena ka hawala dekar apni problems chupaate ho tumog! Unki pareshani ka ratti bhar bhi andaaza hai tumhey?” //soldier, soldier.. kya hua yeh bolkar//? //Narration//
Scene 4 Media //Family Watching TV, Changing channels For news// Channel 1: ”Sansanikhez khabar!! Gopi bahu ke haath se gira gilaas!!! Pati ki jaan ko khatra!” Channel 2: ”Chaliye aaj aapko lekar chalte hai yogi adityanath ke naii ke pas, jinke pas hai yogi ji ke chikne sar ka raaz!” Channel 3: ”Dekhiye Nawab Ki beevi Kareena kapoor khan ki airport looks!!” Channel 4: ”News debate Panel” //Formation// //Panelists// Person 1 (Samajhdar, Par ignored) Anchor (Anchor hun, Cheekhunga) Person 3: (Jhoothey facts ki dukaan) Person 4: (Pointless, Par chadhjaunga) Panel Anchor: I tell you!!! You, You, YOUUU!! Shut up. This is my channel, and you will only speak when is shut up! Joki hone nahi waala hai kabhi!!!!! Person4: Arey mai keh raha hu inki party ne kara hi kyaa haii!!!! Salaa akar kursi pe nawaab ki tarah phail gaye hain bass!! Person 3: Tumhari party ne 1970 mai yeh kiya! Woh kiya! Kuch hua! Kahan hua? Anchor: Person 3, How dare youu!!! How dare you condescend me?? Person 3: Blehhjehejhjshskjhkjh PErson 4: //gibberish// Anchor: Mute, but lipsing End (Not complete yet)
//Circle deforms and makes 3 groups// 1. Minister With officials
2. Audience 3. Rally //All groups still//
Scene 5 // A reporter and cameraman go to the first group// Reporter: “Aaiye ab aapko ham lekar chalte hai Minister _____________ Ke ghar par! Jahan par IAS _______ ke sath unki chal rahi hai secret meeting!!” Shulkla ji: ”Minister sahab aapka dhyaan kuch muddon ki taraf kheenchna tha.” Minister: ”Arey aiyye aiyye, Shukla ji, bataiye?” Shuklaji: ”Woh sir... Sadak ke gaddhe abhi tak nahi bhare hain.” Minister: ”Arey Shuklaji! Bas kuch dino ki toh baat hai! Darasal yeh election ke chakkar mai thoda kharcha ziyada hogaya hai.” Shuklaji: ”Ji huzoor.” (Circle in unison: ji huzoor) Shuklaji: ”Sir woh sarvajanik shauchalay ka budget toh nikl tha.. par uspar koi karwai nahi shuru hui.” Minister: ”Arey chinta kyu karte hain.. Muslim kshetra ka toh ban gaya hai na? Bas.. Unka vote toh ajayega!” Shukla ji: ”Ji huzoor..” Shuklaji: ”Aur aajkal apne area mai chori ki ghatnayen bhi bahut hori hain..” Minister: ”Yeh saala neech jaati ke log hotey hi aise hai!! Criminal kahin ke! Par ab kya karen, vote toh inka bhi chahiye na!” Shuklaji: ”Ji huzoor..” Shukla ji: ”Sir aur woh police bhi koi action nahi le rahi hai..” Minister: ”Arrey shuklaji, Kaisi baat kar rahe hain? Police toh hamare sath haina.. in kaamo mai uljha diya agr, toh hame protection kaun dega? Chaliye, Shuklaji! Ab jaakar logon ka banakar aatey hain.”
Reporter: Chaliye aapko ab ham lekar chalte hai ______ ki rally main!! Jahan woh janta ko address karengey! //The reporter goes into the crowd to ask them questions//
Scene 6 //Everyone shouting slogans in gibberish// //gibberish//.. ”Raam Mandir!!” //gibberish// ”Rozgaar!!” //gibberish// ”Corruption!!” //gibberish// ”Black money!!!” //gibberish// ”Secularism!!” //gibberish// ”Swachata abhiyan!” //gibberish// ”Education! Sarkar zindabad!!” //Gibberish// ”Yahi sarkaar ayegi!!” //gibberish// Person 1: ”Arrey par mai to unemployed hun itne saalo se mai kyun naara lagaun?” //people aggressively// ”Aey lagata hai ya nahi lagata naara tu?” Person 1 //shouts// ”Yahi sarkaar ayegi!” Person 2: ”Yeh hui na baat!!” //Interviewer turns in//
Interviewer: ”Arey bhaktonnnnn!! Apni akl ka namuna nahi dena chahogey? Tv par aogey tv parr!!” Interview dedooo!! Interview!! Interview dedooo
//moves around// Arey woh dekh kya gala phaad kar naara laga rahe hain!!! // Sir, sir aap! //points to person 2// Yeh naara toh aapne laga diya!!!! aap is sarkaar ki 5 qualites bataiye! Person 2 : ”5 qualitiess.. arey woh... kapde acchey pehente hain…” Interviewer: Awlelelel!!! Aaapka hogayaa, aap niklaiye. ”Bhaijaan aap bataiyee!!! aapko kyu lagta hai.. Ki yeh sarkaar! YEEHH!! SARKAAR! Kyu aani chahiye?” Person 3: ”Arey itnaa kaam kare hainn!!! itnaaa zyaada kaam!” Interviewer: ”Arey kitna kaam???” Person 3: //hand gestures// Itnaaa kaaaaaaaam!!!!!
//Interviewer laughs// Interviewer: ”Arey woh buddhe se uncle hai! Chalo unse jaakar puchte hain!!” Interviewer: ”Arey uncle ji!! aap samajhdar lagte hain! Aap bataiye!! Kaunsi sarkar layenge??” Person 4: ”Bhayiii aisa haii!!! khodii sarkaar zindabaadd!!! mai kehta hu jo is sarkar ke virodhi hai, woh hindustan ke virodhi hain! Bahar phaink do!” Person 5: ”Arey hamne tooo khodii ji ke chehre ka tattoo banwa rakha hai!! //interviewer mocks again// Interviewer: ”Arey woh dekhiye!!! Handi supporter handi supporter!!!” Haanji Sir!! toh aap handi supporter hain>? Person 6: ”Bilkul hain ji!! Are handi ji to bhagwaan hai!! is desh ko unki zarurat aise hai gulabjamun mai chashni ki!” Interviewer: ”Arey devi ji aap bhi handi supporter!” Person 7: ”Haanji bilkulll!! hamare ghar maii gas nahi aaye, chahe chulhe mai haath jalen, chahe dhue se aankhe laal ho.. Khule mai hagna pade aur ham par khuleaam hamle hote rahen!!!! par hame chahiye!! handii zindabad!!!! handii zindabad!!!!” Interviewer: ”Toh ji apka handi ji ki policies ke baare mai kya khayal hai?” Person 8: ”Dekho ji aisa hai.. handi ji mere vichaar mai.. ji bohot badiya admi hai! Bohot hi honest.. bohot hi hardworking!” ”Arey uncleee quality nahi policy! Policy! Yojna” Person 8: ”Acha yojna.. dekh bhai aisa hai.. Power mai pehla aane to de! Policy pulucy se kuch na hota! Sarkaar ban gayi to balle balle bas!!! Policy ka kya hai? Woh to koi aur sarkaar bhi banaleti! Par handi ji. Admi kahan, Devta hai Devta! !” Person 5: ”Aey saale yeh rahe handi ke supporyer!! eyy! Batara hu mai tujhe! Tere handi ki tarah tujhe bhi garm chulhle par rakhke phunk dunga!!” Person 8: ”Arey tu dekh sala tere khodii ko kaise khodkar phainkte hai uski jadon se!” Interviewer: ”Aur yahan par maamla garmaata hua!”
// in unison// Arreyy!! Netajii Agayee!! netajiii aagayeeeee!!!!
Scene 7
DISCLAIMER NUMBER 2
Person 1: ”Ab yahan par netaji apna bhashan denge!!!! Jin mai bhi dimaag kami hai, paiso ke bhookhey hain, aage aakar naare lagayen. {Batana chahunga ki Janta ka Saara paisa hamne netaji aur unke pyaado ki sharaab, unki aiyyashi, aur voters ko pataane ke liye laga diya hai.} Aasha karte hai ki aap log netaji ki chikni chupdi baaton mai aakar, ek baar phir apna keemti vote inhe dekar apna paagal banwayenge.” AREY SHIT! ABHI ANTI NATIONAL HOTE HOTE BACHA MAI! Bharat mata ki jaiiiiiiii!!
Netaji: ”Aurr ab mai bolunga kuch random baaten jisse tumhe lagega ki mai bahut samajhdar, imaandar aur Aap sab ke lie kaam krne waala hun, Arey mere Vote bank! Mai jitne bhi vaade ab tumse krne jaara hu, inme se ek bhi agar nibha gaya toh mera naam badal dena!”
Netaji: ”Bijli aur paani ki baaten kar raha hu taaki sabko lage ki mai gaaon aur kisano ki parwah krta hu.” ”Hamari unemployed youth ko woh naukriyan dene ka wada jo exist hi nahi karti.” //Everyone in unison// ”Bhayyi waah! Kya soch hai! Waah!!! ” Netaji:” Mai vaada karta hi ki har gaon har shehar mai school khulwaane, kitaabe muft dene ka waada kitabon mai hi rahega” //Everyone in unison// Kya gazab door ki sochte hain sir aap!! Waah WAah!! Netaji: ”Aur ab….Mai kuch bhi naara lagaunga toh tum repeat karogey aur mere ishaare par kuch bhi krne ko taiyar hojaogey, aur mujhe is desh ka maseeha aur bhagwaan maan logeyy!” //Everyone in unison// ”Arey waah netaji !! waah waah!! Aap kuch bhi bologey, ham to waah karenge hi. Paise jo khaye hain”
Netaji: ”Ab jab tum log itne bewakoof ho, Toh boliye mere pichheyy!!! Aaadhahahahahahaaa ” // Everyone in unison// ”Aahahahahahaaaa” Netaji: Ohhhh ohoo hoh ho hohoh o! // Everyone in unison// ”Ohh hohohohohohoho”
Netaji: ”Aur feel ke saath!!!!!” // /Everyone in unison// ”Aaahahahahhahaaaaa ” ”Shauchalya ka kya hi karogey… khule mai hagte ho, haglo. Mai bhi to abhi yahi kar raha hu!” // Everyone in unison//” Arey waah waah netaji! Kya kaam kara hai! Wah!” Netaji:” Aur aakhir mai.. Bas aap logon se yahi kehna chahunga mai!! ”Bhaad mai gaye tumhare roti kapda aur makaan, mujhe to chalani hai apni dhandhli (bhrastachar, kaali kartuton) ki dukaan” ”Ab itna kuch sun kar agar maan hi chuke ho, toh jeetne ke baad opposite party ke putle phukwaane aur riots karwaaney mai poori madad krna! (opposite party ka dehan)” ”Bahut shukriya! ” // People in unison// ”Netaji zindabad” ”Desh nahi zinda, sirf abaad”
Mob lynching Scene //Mob standing with their leader// Leader (In aggression): ”Woh log hamare saath aisa kaise kar sakte hain? Hamari jagah kaise le skate hain? EK myaan mai do talwaare rahi hai bhala kabhi? Iska ilaaj to karna hi hoga. Is kisse ko ab khatm karna hi hoga!! Par sawaal hai kaisey?”
//mob goes silent, confused. All start whispering kaisey kaisey to each other// // Person 3 slowly says.// “Maarkar. Unhe maarkar.” //All join in one by one// Person1 : ”Magar sir, kanoon ka kya? Pakde gaye toh?” Leader: ”Arey kaboon ko dekh lengeyyy!!!! tu bas maar” //All screaming// ”maaro maaro maaro” Group leader to Person 1: ”Tu is group ka hai ya us group kaa?” (Jaati) Person 1: ”Hain? Kya?” Person 2: ”Saaley batata hai ya nahi batata?” Person1:” Us group ka” //Beating and screaming and throws in the center of the circle//
Person 3 to person 2 ”Tu is group ka hai ya us group ka? Re jaldi bolll” (Dharma) Person 2: ”Bhai kaunsa group? Kaisa group?” Person 3: ”Sayani poonch, zabaan ladaata hai saale bhutiye, maar re saale ke” //beating and screaming and throws in the center of the circle// Person 4 to person 5: ”Is group ka hai ya us group ka?” (samuday) Group Leader: ”Arey puch ke reha hai, maar saale ke.. usi ka hai pandu pakka” //thrashing, Screaming and throws into the circle// Group leader to Person 3 ”O mancho ennu v faddle! O ehnu v! Saale sare ikko jehe ne!!!! vaddo saleya nu !!!!” //Person 6 and Person 7 get lynched// //beats and screaming and throws again in circle// Group leader to person 8: ”Oye? Tu insaan hai kya? Tu insaan kyu lagra hai?” //turns towards all the mob// ”OYEEE YE INSAAAN MIL GAYA! MAARO!!!” //all the victims are crying, screaming, in the middle of the circle. The mob advances towards them, and beats them once more, They are drizzled with petrol and burned on the spot.// //Screaming and crying continues// //mob celebrates// Person 5: ”Ab Yeh Hua na swachh Bharat!!!! Sari gandagi mita dii!!!” //All sing in unison// ”Swachh bharat ka irada!! iraada karlia hamney!” //fades out//
//Narration//
Solution Scenes
Who is the real villain //Two people sitting on the bench, doing idle things, just sitting and pondering, flying away flies, pricking noses//
//a third person emerges from beneath the bench, Slaps Person 1 and then hides again// Person 1: Kyu maara bey?? Person 2: Maine? Bhai mai kyu maarunga tujhey? Person1: Aur kaun dikh raha hai mujhe marne waala yahan? //both start approaching each other and Person 3 and his group emerge from the background, and start provoking// //Arey yahi tha!! Isi ne maara! Maine apni aankho se dekha!!!// //Arey ruka kyu hua hai tu maar na iskeee// //
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