Now Your Stars Naruto Style

Know Your Stars: Naruto Chapter One: Sasuke Uchiha Pissed that he got dragged away from training by Kakashi, Sasuke walked into a dark room with a chair lit up in the center. Raising an eyebrow Sasuke sat down. Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars A voice rang out followed by clapping. "Who's there? Show yourself!" Sasuke shouted out. "Sit down Sasuke or else" the voice replied. "Or else what?" Sasuke shot back. "Or else I'll place a genjutsu on you that makes you watch your entire clan get killed over and over" the voice smirked. Gulping Sasuke wisely sat back down. "Sasuke Uchiha, he's in love with Sakura Haruno" "No I'm not, I don't love anyone!" Sasuke shouted back "Then why were you sneaking into her house the other night?" the voice replied. "I did nothing of the sort" Sasuke voiced "Oh really?" the interviewer smirked. A huge TV came out of the floor, on the screen you could see someone who looked like Sasuke sneaking into Sakura's bedroom window. "...." "Do you have a comment now Uchiha?" the voice asked. "That's not me, you just dressed someone up to look like me and shot this footage" he replied smugly. "Whatever moving on, Sasuke Uchiha, he likes being called a teme by Naruto"

"I despise that name! I am not a Bastard!" Sasuke huffed. "Then why do you called Naruto a dobe?" "I call him a dobe because he is one!" "Are you sure that's not your pet name for him?" "..." "IT IS ISN'T IT?" "... Yes" "Sasuke Uchiha, he secretly adores Itachi" "I hate that traitor with every fiber of my being" "Then why do you have a doll of him in your pocket?" "I have no such..." Sasuke felt his back pocket to find a small stitched doll of his brother Itachi "I rest my case" "I'm going to kill you when I find you!" "So now you know that Sasuke Uchiha loves Sakura, enjoys being called a bastard, and secret adores Itachi" "THEY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! IT'S LIES ALL LIES!" Chapter Two: Neji Hyuga Ticked that he was ordered here Neji sat down in the chair, his eyes narrowing at the darkness. Know Your Stars Know Your Stars Know Your Stars "Who are you?" Neji called out "I'm the interviewer Neji" the voice replied. "Where are you?" he asked looking around

"Somewhere, oh don't activate your bloodline here or else" "Or else what?" "You'll receive a very nasty shock" "Byakugan!" Neji started twitching; electricity went throughout his body as he fell out of the chair. "I told you" "Shut up" "Get up, you’re much tougher then that" Neji got off the floor and back into the chair. "Neji Hyuga, he loves the Branch Family" "Of course I love them, they are my family" "Neji Hyuga, he likes Tenten" "I don't like her; she's just my team mate" "Really? Then why do you look at her with your Byakugan active all the time?" "I don't" "Then why did you during the chunin exam?" "I was checking her chakra system" "Sure you were, we all know you were sneaking a peak" Neji blushed, “I was not!" "Anyway, Neji Hyuga, he really isn't a genius" "What are you talking about? I'm the greatest Hyuga in the entire Hyuga clan!" "Then why haven't you removed that curse seal from your head yet?" "I ..."

"See you aren't that smart or else you would have done it already" "Damn you!" "Settle down Hyuga or else you'll get another shock" Taking deep breaths Neji calmed his nerves and relaxed 'Neji Hyuga, he thinks Lee's outfit is sexy" "I think no such thoughts" "The why are you wearing it now?" "What are you talking about? I'm not wearing... WHAT THE HELL?!" Neji was clad in a perfect copy of Lee's outfit, except without the hair cut. "WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?" "Just having fun. Hey Lee! Look how youthful Neji has become!" Lee burst into the room with fire in his eyes. "OH NEJI-SAN, YOU’RE FLAMES OF YOUTH BURN BRIGHTLY!" "Oh shit" Neji fled in terror as Lee chased him "Now you know Neji Hyuga. He loves his family, likes taking peeks at Tenten, he's not a genius, and thinks looking like Lee is sexy" "THEY DON"T KNOW ANYTHING AND LEE STOP HUGGING ME DAMN IT!" Chapter Three: Sabaku no Garra Gaara silent walked into the room, his sand gourd no where to be seen. Shifting his eyes around him sat in the chair. Know Your Stars Know Your Stars Know Your Stars "..."

"Hey Gaara-kun, I'm the interviewer!" the voice said happily "..." "Ok then Gaara of the Desert, thinks Temari is hot" "I do not, she is my sister" "So if she wasn't your sister would you say she's hot?" "..." "I'll take your silence as a yes" "I'll kill you" "No you won't or else I'll make you face the scariest, most powerful Jutsu ever created" "..." "Alright, don't believe me, you asked for it, Hakirun No Jutsu, Chibi Fest!" Soon millions of Chibi Gaara's were everywhere making all the Gaara Fan-girls cheer "I will remember this one" Gaara voiced "Hey what ever makes you happy" "You dying would" "Gaara of the Dessert, is in love with Naruto" "I do not know what love is" "Sure you do, it feels like a warm tingling inside you whenever you’re around that special person" "I did feel that when we were together" "See you love Naruto-kun!" Shifty eyes, "yes I love Naruto" "Um Gaara I don't think you should have said that out loud"

"Why?" "Look behind you" Gaara turned around and froze in terror. All of his fan girls were pissed at having THEIR Gaara loving someone else. "Don't worry girls, now you can be Yaoi fan girls instead" Cheers went throughout the area as all the girls jumped for joy, Gaara sweat dropped "Now you know Gaara, he thinks Temari is hot, loves Naruto and thinks fan girls are scary" "Is there a back exit?" "Scared of the fan girls?" "... Yes" A door lit up really far away, Gaara took off heading towards it "HEY GAARA-KUN IS GETTING AWAY!" All the fan girls ran after him. Chapter Four: Sakura Haruno "Sasuke-kun you in here?" Sakura called out as she came into the dark room. "Where are you Sasuke-kun? I want to work on our 'teamwork' some more!" she called out. Hearing no answer she sighed and sat down in the nearby chair. Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars "Who's there?" Sakura asked "I'm your worst nightmare, I am the interviewer!" the voice said with really scary music playing "Why should I be afraid of you? You’re just an annoying voice" "And you have an annoyingly big forehead so we're even" "HEY!" "Now, now don't get angry or you'll get wrinkles on that freakishly large forehead of yours"

"You damn son of a bit..." "Finish that sentence and you'll never see your Sasuke-kun again" "Whatever you can't beat Sasuke-kun" "Oh really?" the voice laughed. A light appeared and from the light stepped Itachi Uchiha carrying a knocked out Sasuke "I can't beat Sasuke but his brother can" "Sasuke!" "Here's your pay Itachi-kun" A large bag full of pocky appeared "Thank you, Pein-sama" Itachi bowed "Just stay cool and dangerous Itachi" Itachi vanished along with Sasuke "Now, Sakura Haruno, adores Rock Lee" "I do not, I adore Sasuke-kun" "Oh really? What if Sasuke dressed like Lee?" "Um... yes I'd still like him" "Cue the lights" Lights flashed on and Sakura froze, there standing a few feet away was Sasuke dressed all in green like Lee "Hello Sakura-chan, your flames of youth burn brightly" "Aw my eyes, it burns, it burns" Sakura cried "Perhaps I can help you become more youthful Sakura-chan" Sasuke smiled walking closer "Stay away from me, you’re not Sasuke!" The Sasuke/Lee figure vanished "Damn that was scarier then rabid fan girls" the interviewer spoke "No better then fan boys" "Good point and I get both" "You’re joking right?" Sakura asked

"No, just because I publicly announced I was bi-sexual I've got fan girls and boys after my ass" "I feel bad for your ass then" "Don't make me get Sasuke back here" "Sorry, sorry, please go on" "Alright, Sakura Haruno, she hates Ino" "No I don't, Ino is my best friend" "Then why do you sneak into her flower shop at night and cut all the flowers?" "I do not" "Cue the video!" A screen appeared showing Sakura dressed in all black, running around with a pair of sheers, clipping all the flowers in her path "That isn't me!" "The person has pink hair!" "Your point?" "You’re the only ninja stupid enough to have pink hair. It screams "Here I am come kill me!" "It does not!" "What ever pinky moving on. Sakura Haruno thinks Naruto is a no talent loser that deserves to die for making Sasuke look weak" "You got that right, Naruto is always showing up Sasuke-kun. It would be better if he was dead" Interviewer starts to giggle "What?" "You'll see" A few moments went by where a creepy silence filled the air "3, 2, 1" The door was ripped off its hinges as a very and I mean very pissed off Tsunade entered the room "Tsunade-sama?" "You little bitch, how dare you insult Naruto-chan, my little naru-chan" Tsunade cried

"But, but, but" A small chibi Naruto walked into the room and went up to Tsunade. "Sakwa-chan hurt my feewings" he cried, his eyes becoming glassy and filled with tears "You’re going to pay for hurting my Naru-chan!" Rearing back her fist she punched Sakura, sending her all the way across the room and into the wall, leaving a huge forehead imprint "Um, Lady Tsunade, did you really have to damage my wall?" the voice asked "Yes" "I would make you pay but then little Naru-chan would get upset and I can't stand seeing little chibi people cry" "Yay, Tsun-chan is not in trouble!" Naru-chan cheered "Here Naru-chan, have some Ramen" the voice said making a huge bowl appear. "RAMEN, RAMEN, RAMEN!" "Oh boy" Tsunade sweatdropped. "Ok so now we've got a knocked out Sakura, a ramen crazy chibi Naruto and a sweat dropping Tsunade, could this get any worse?" Gaara walked in carrying a Naruto plushie "It just got worse" "Gaara-niisan!" Chibi Naruto cheered running over to the red head "Naru-chan" "Sakwa-chan was being mean to meeeee!" he cried, hugging the red head's leg. Sand appeared and whirled around Gaara, his face became demonic "You shall die for bringing hurt upon my Nii-san!" Sakura had woken up by now and was now running for her life as the sand chased her. She cried as she ran but stopped when she slamemd into something hard yet soft. "Itachi you came back" the voice said happily "Sakura Haruno, for bring emotional pain to naru-chan, I shall bring judgment upon you. Mangekyou Sharingan!" Sakura's world warped to a red sky and everything was black and white. She was tied to a cross and in front of her she saw Sasuke being stabbed by little Naruto-chibi's. Ino appeared next with

a pair of sheers in her hand and a devilish smirk on her face. "For the next 24 hours you will watch as Naru-chan kills you’re beloved. Ino shall also being sheering you of your pink hair" Itachi smiled Back in the real world... "Is she ever gonna shut up?" The interviewer asked "She is going through the mental pain of watching Sasuke die at the hands of Naru-chan" Itachi replied. "Yay, I hurt the evil fan-girl" Naru-chan cheered as he hugged Gaara "Well now you know Sakura, I'd say everything but it would take WAY to long" Naru-chan jumped up and waved his arms, "Wait I have idea!" 24 hours later... "Where am I?" Sakura asked looking around the darkly lit room. "Sakura, this is the world created by Naru-chan and the interviewer. Here you shall relive the entire interview for the next 8 months" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Chapter Five: Naru-chan (chibi Naruto) After waving goodbye to Gaara, Tsunade, and Itachi, Naru-chan sat down in the chair with a big smile on his face. Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars "Hi mister interviewer!" Naru-chan waved into the darkness. "I don't think its possible but you got cuter from a few moments ago" "Yay! I'm cuter!" he cheered. "Why must you be so Kawaii?" "Um... I don't know?" Sighs, "ok then let's get started, Naru-chan, he despises Sakura-chan" "Yeah, Sakwa-chan a mean evil fan girl!" "Don't we all know it? Well Naru-chan, he thinks Garra looks like a panda"

"Gaara-niisan is so pwetty, he hugs me and keeps me safe from the chibi fan girls" "Prehaps I should teach you the jutsu I showed Gaara" "reweally? yay I'm going to learn a jutsu!" "ready Naru-chan? here we go, Hakirun no Jutsu, chibi fest!" In a poof over one thousand chibi naruto’s had appeared. "Um ok, apparently having Kyuubi no Kitsune sealed in you made the jutsu alot bigger then expected" "Is that bad?" "Not at all, now you should easily escape the chibi fan girls" "yay!" "Moving on, Naru-chan, Thinks Hinata is the nicest most wonderful person in the entire world" "Hina-chan is my favorite, she keeps me safe, and hugs me, and kisses me, and does other things I'm not allowed to say" "Why aren't you allowed to say them?" "Hina-chan says that people won't understand" "I see, could someone get Hinata in here please?" Several moments later Hinata was pushed into the room. "Why am I here?" "You are you to explain your actions with naru-chan" the interviewer boomed. "You told him Naru-chan?" Hinata asked "No, I just said they wouldn't understand" "oh no" "Hinata Hyuga, after using my all knowing powers to read your mind I have seen you and Naruchan have had been sleeping in the same bed together. Care to explain your actions before I pass judgement upon you?" "I'm sorry it’s just, well he's so cute and I couldn't stand being without him all night!" Hinata cried, begging on her knees not to be punished. "I see, Hinata Hyuga prepare to suffer the judgment of your actions, Chibi style, Hakirun no jutsu!" A puff of smoke later and Hinata appeared, now a chibi version of her former self.

"Your punishment is to spend the next 24 hours as a chibi" "This isn't so bad I guess, I look adorable" Hinata chibi cheered. "Damn chibi people for being kawaii" "I can't help it, every action I do is cute" "Yes but now you shall face the scariest thing a chibi can face" "What is it?" "I'll give you a clue, what's worse then Yaoi Fan Girls/boys?" "I don't know what?" "Chibi Fan Girl/boys" the interview smirked. The door burst open and outside, thousands of chibi fan girls and boys were waiting "Run Chibi Hinata! RUN!" the interviewer shouted Hinata ran out the other door, being chased down by her adoring fans. "Poor Hina-chan" Naru-chan sighed, sweatdropping. "Now you know Naru-chan, he's really kawaii, despises Sakura, thinks Gaara is a panda, and adores Hinata when she's not being chased by rabid chibi fans" "Thanks for the interview, bye, bye!" Naru-chan yelled running off after Hinata "Damn chibi people for being so kawaii" Chapter Six: Kakashi Hatake Giggling while he turned the page of his wonderful little orange book, Kakashi never noticed the dark room he walked into. using his ninja skills, he found the chair and sat down. Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars "Whose there?" Kakashi voiced and he held a kunai to protect himself "Oh calm down cyclops, I am the interviewer and you are here because of various reasons" "Like?" "Tsunade said if I didn't do this then she'd get Sasuke to burn my limited editons of Icha Icha Paradise"

"damn, that is rather harsh" "Anyway, let's start" "go ahead then, I wanna find out what happens next" "Kakashi Hatake, loves Icha Icha Paradise" "Of course I do! its the greatest reading material of all time!" "You didn't let me finish" "oh?" "Yes, Kakashi loves Icha Icha Paradise, Yaoi editon" "WHAT?! I do not!" "Then why are you reading the special Naruto x Sasuke version?" "I am not, I..." Kakashi looked down to his book to find pictures of Naruto and Sasuke in sexaul positions "What did you do to my book!" "nothing, it was like that from the start" "Damn you, interviewer, damn yooooooooooooooooooou!" "Ok then, Kakashi Hatake, likes Anko Mitarashi" "No I don't, she's a psycho!" "correct me if I'm wrong but aren't psycho lovers the best kind?" "..." "Don't bother answering, we all know its true" "I don't like Anko!" "Then who do you like?" "..." "Are you gonna answer or what?" "Iruka" "I KNEW IT!" "Yes, I'm gay alright, I admit it"

"Hey man, nothing wrong with that, I'm bi-sexual myself" "You don't care that I'm gay?" "of course not, it shouldn't matter if some is straight, gay or Bi, as long as they love the person they're with loves them back" "you have earned my respect, Interviewer" "Yeah but I don't think your fan girls are gonna understand" "They'll get over it" "Now before we end the show there's something I've always wanted to do" "What's that?" Magicly, Tri-Edge appeared behind Kakashi with a sick smirk on his face. "Leaf Village Secret Finger Jutsu, A thousand years of pain!" Shoving two fingers into Kakashi's ass, he launched him through the roof, screaming as he clutched his ass. "Now you know Kakashi. He likes to read Yaoi porn, is gay, likes Iruka, and apparently can't handle his own jutsus" Chapter Seven: Haku (female) Being curious as she was, Haku quietly snuck into the dark room. She wondered why she saw everyone coming in here and decided to investigate. Spying nothing but a lonely chair she sighed and sat down. Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars "What the?" she gasped "Oh settle down honey. This is the Know Your Stars program and I the interviewer" "So your going to ask me some questions?" "Something like that" "Ok then, please go ahead" "Haku, she like's emo guys" "Emo guys? like who?"

"Gaara, Sasuke, Itachi, Naruto on a bad day" "I don't like Gaara, Sasuke, or Itachi" "But you do like Naruto?" Haku blushes, "maybe" "You go Haku, he is a nice catch but you do have alot of people gunning for him" "Like?" "Hinata, Gaara, Sasuke, Itachi, Sakura when she gets a brain, Deidara because he's girly, Sai, Orochimaru" "Damn" "Hey blondes are in this year, and who is cuter then Naruto?" "Naruko?" "You want Naruto in his sexy jutsu form?" Major Blush, "Yes" "Well Haku your about to get your wish" Naruko appeared with a smile on her face. She sat down in Haku's lap in the chair and began making out with her. "Ok so now you know Haku. She dislikes emo guys, likes Naruto, and apparently is a lesbian" The two were now ripping each others clothes off "Someone get Kakashi's camcorder!" Chapter Eight: Kiba Inuzuka Upset that Akamaru had run off without a word or bark in this case, Kiba wandered into the dimmly lit room. Taking a seat he decided to think. Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars "Whose there?" "I am the interviewer Kiba, I'm going to say random things and you have to argue back" "Why?"

"Cause if you don't I'll shave akamaru bald" "You wouldn't dare!" "Kiba, I put Neji in Lee's outfit I am more then capable of shaving your pet" "Fine I'll argue back you jerk" "Kiba Inuzuka, Is in love with Ino" "I am not!" "Then who do you like?" "I'll never tell!" "Its Shino isn't it?" ".... what makes you think that?" "Oh nothing except the fact you have a pair of Shino's glasses in your pocket" "What I don't have shin..." Kiba pulled out a pair of shino's glasses. "Wow I did have a pair of his glasses" "Kiba I have a very, very important question to ask and you must answer it" "Yes?" "Are you stupid or just slow?" "WHAT?!" "Your stupid or your slow now which is it?" "I am not stupid!" "But your slow?" "SHUT UP!" "Someones got issues, anyway, Kiba Inuzuka, believes that all dogs go to heaven" "Damn right I do, when Akamaru dies he's going to heaven cause of all the good he's done in his life" "Right, Kiba Inuzuka, Wants to bone Hinata" "WHAT?! you just said I was with Shino!" "Right I said you were with Shino but you want to bone Hinata" "..."

"I don't hear someone arguing" "I'm gonna kill you!" "Sure you will but then you'd go to hell and I thought all dogs go to heaven" "You bastard!" "Calm down puppy, or Hinata might get upset" "What do you mean?" "She is right behind you, right?" Kiba turned around to see Hinata with her bloodlne active. "Um Hinata I can explain" Kiba couldn't continue cause Hinata uppercut him kncking him out cold. "Now I'm gonna take you home and have my way with you" Hinata smiled dragging Kiba to the door. "I thought you liked Naruto?" "I do but a girl will take what she can" Hinata smiled. "Ok then, Now we all know Kiba and apparently we know Hinata a little better too" Chapter Nine: Itachi Uchiha Voted by, ranma hibiki Returning to the dark room, Itachi silently walked in, being so very quiet that a pin could be heard dropping to the floor. He was quiet until he saw what was sitting in the chair. "POCKY!!!!!!!!!" He screamed, jumping on the chair and devoured it in seconds Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars "Hello again, Itachi-kun!" the interviewer shouted with glee. "Hello, have you been having anymore pink haired problems lately?" "Nope" "Shall we begin then interviewer?" "Itachi Uchiha, likes Pocky"

"Like? I adore the stuff, its like crack for ninja's" "Itachi Uchiha, secretly spends his time making new recipes for Pocky in the Akatsuki basement" "Who told you that?" Itachi does shiffty eyes "Its true? wow I totally made that one up" "Say anything to the leader and I'll kill you" "Fine, fine, now Itachi Uchiha didn't really kill off his clan" "FINALLY THE TRUTH!" "Yeah I know it was that mutated Pocky Monster you created that did it and you took the blame to save it from harm" "I cared about it, even though I was goting to eat it later" "Itachi Uchiha loves Naruto Uzumaki" "With every fiber of my being, but we can never be together" "Such is the life of a missing ninja, its so very sad" "I know, I have to deal with Kisame and Deidara all the time" "Moving on, Itachi Uchiha, likes poking his brother in the head" "It always was fun to see him react" "But he hated when you did that" "Yeah but it was still fun to do" "Fine, Itachi Uchiha, secretly adores his fan girls" "OH HELL NO I SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING!" Itachi sprang up from the chair and made a mad dash for the door. "But Itachi you haven't seen who they are yet!" "I DON'T CARE THEY ARE FAN GIRLS AND I AM TERRFIED OF FAN GIRLS! "But they are all carrying pocky!" "Pocky?" "Yes of every single flavor" "WHERE ARE THE FAN GIRLS!"

"Um in that room over there" Itachi ran to where the interviewer pointed and ripped open the door, what he saw made him drool. The entire room was filled with girls carrying pocky and in the center was Naruto, tied to the bed, covered with Itachi's favorite flavor pocky, strawberry. "I'VE SEEN HEAVEN AND I LIKE IT!" The door slammed shut, all that could be heard was the muffled screams of Naruto and the AWWWWWWWW's and Kawaii's of the fan girls "Well now we know Itachi Uchiha, please join us next time when we interview someone else and make their dreams or worst nightmares come true" Chapter Ten: Shikamaru Nara Sighing that this was going to be troublesome, Shikamaru sat down in the chair and rolled his eyes. Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars "What a drag can we hurry and get this over with?" "Wow you are in a hurry to do something, the world must be ending" "Hope not, too troublesome" "Ok then, Shikamaru Nara, likes Ino" "I don't she's too loud and troublesome" Shikamaru Nara, likes Temari" "again, she's loud and troublesome" "Shikamaru wouldn't find it too troublesome to be cloud watching with the two girls then?" "..." "I'll take that as a no then" "What a drag" "Damn are you the laziest bastard that ever lived or something?" "Yes" "Wow, I'm surprised you bothered becoming a ninja in the first place"

"Mother forced me, I thought it was troublesome" "and I suppose its too troublesome to wear clothes too right?" "Yeah, having to wash them, work in them, changing, its such a drag" "The I guess you won't be needing these then" the interviewer smiled. All of shikamaru's clothes vanished, leaving him completely naked for the entire world to see. "HEY!" "Now, now don't yell its too troublesome" "Give me back my clothes!" "Why?" "Cause I'm naked and in public" "I would but its too troublesome" "That's it where are you?" "Door at the end of the room" Shikamaru marched over to the door and ripped it open then froze. "Oh my" Ino blushed "Damn" Temari smiled "What a drag" Shikamaru huffed. So now we had Shikamaru in all his naked glory standing in front of Ino and Temari "Want to share him?" Ino asked Temari "With a body like that? sure" she smiled "Troublesome" shikamaru voiced as he was dragged away to be raped by the two girls. Now we sort of know Shikamaru Nara. He thinks everything is troublesome, his favorite saying is "What a drag" and he likes being raped by his girlfriends. Chapter eleven: Rock Lee Upset that the flames of youth had landed him in such a dark place Lee sat down in the chair and try to rekindle his youthful flames Know your stars Know your stars

Know your stars "WHO'S THERE!" Lee's high voice rang out "Ok first off stop shouting, second I am the interviewer" "I CAN NOT STOP IT IS AGAINST MY NINJA WAY!" "But youthful people talk normally" "REALLY?" "Yes, just like eating ramen and dango all the time is good for you" the interviewer said being sarcastic "Fine I shall talk like my youthful friends" "Excellent now, Rock Lee, adores Gaara" "I do not, I see him as a rival in the battle of youth!" "I thought Naruto was your rival?" "He is but Gaara is also my rival!" "Let me guess its more youthful to have more then one rival?" "Yes that is what Gai-sensei said!" Gai burst into the room "LEE!" GAI-SENSEI!" LEE!" "GAI-SENSEI!" The two hugged, a strange back drop of a sunset appeared. Up in his hiding place the interviewer was twitching really badly "Kai, Kai, Kai, why won't the genjutsu dispell?" the interviewer screamed as he tried over and over. "LEE REMEMBER TO STAY YOUTHFUL!" Gai ran out of the room "Finally the twitching has stopped" the interviewer sighed "I am sorry but it is very youthful to embrace in the man hug!" "Why did I choose you for this show I will never know"

"It is because I burn brightly with the flames of youth!" Gai burst into the room again "LEE!" "GAI-SENSEI!" "LEE!" "GAI-SENSEI!" The two hugged again, the creepy sunset reappeared, the interview fell down twitching. "That's it this interview is over!" The interviewer ran away to consult Tsunade on healing his eyes that wouldn't stop twitching. Lee and gai looked at each other and smiled. "Finally he's gone" Lee voiced "We can drink in peace now" Gai said pulling out a large bottle of sake and two shot glasses "A toast to the flames of youth, the perfect thing to drive people away so you can drink in peace" they clanged the glasses together and gulped them down. Chapter 12: Hinata Hyuga (OC) After she finished raping Kiba, running from chibi fans and putting Naru-chan to sleep, Hinata returned to the dark room once again this time for her own interview. Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars "Your such an ass" Hinata huffed "Why Hinata-chan?" "Your taking away my very valuable pleasure time with Kiba and Naru-chan" "Hinata's a baby raper!" the interviewer said in a sing song voice "I am not a baby raper!" "Sure and Shikamaru likes physical labor" "Move on please" Ok, ok, Hinata Hyuga, is crazy about Sasuke"

"Well he does have a nice ass" "Your not trying to deny it?" "Why? Is it wrong to like more then one guy?" "Well no but I thought you loved Naruto" "I do and always will, its just I'm physically attracted to hot guys like every other girl" "Well ever girl except Haku who is a lesbian" "Oh yeah I forgot about her" "Anyway, Hinata Hyuga, has pocky in her back pocket" "I don't have pocky in my back pocket" To prove her point Hinata reached into her back pocket only to pull out a box of strawberry pocky "Um Hinata I don't think its wise to eat that here" "Why?" "Look in the room over there" Hinata walked over to the room in question and opened the door. Inside was Itachi eating pocky off the naked bound body of Naruto "Holy fuck!" Hinata exclaimed "Is that pocky?" itachi asked "Yes" "Give it!" Itachi lunged at the door only for Hinata to slam it in his face "damn that was close" Hinata sighed "Note to self never get between a Uchiha and his pocky" the interviewer spoke into a tape recorder. "Can we hurry this up? Kiba's do for a flogging in a few minutes" Hinata said checking her watch "So not only are you a baby raper, your a dog abuser too?" "I do not rape babies and I don't abuse dogs!" Up in the booth the interviewer was comforting Akamaru

"Its ok boy I won't let the mean baby raping dog abuser get you" Hinata screeched loudly "Can someone please get this baby raping, dog abusing, screeching girl under control please?" The door burst open, in walked Sakura who was finally free of naru-chan's genjutsu from her own interview. "So your going after MY Sasuke huh bitch?" Hinata had no time to react, she barely ducked the chakra enhanced punch of Sakura. "I'm out of here, I'M COMING KIBA-KUN!" "Well apprently we never knew anything about Hinata in the first place, I so need a drink" Lee and Gai appeared with Sake and shot glasses "A toast to the flame of youth, may it allow us to drink till we can;t drink no more" Gai shouted "Amen" they clashed the glasses together and gulped it down. Chapter 13: Naruto Uzumaki Finally able to free himself from Itachi's grasp Naruto stumbled out of the room, barely able to walk straight after what Itachi put him through. He sat down in the chair to catch his breath. Know Your Stars Know Your Stars Know Your Stars "You bastard!" "Hey I'm not Sasuke" "I don't care your still a bastard after putting me through all that crap!" "Well excuse me but I thought you likes getting raped by the Uchiha's?" "I do just not for that long!" "Whatever" "Prick" "Anyway, Naruto Uzumaki, is a UKE" "I know that, who doesn't know that? Well maybe Tsunade doesn't but that's not the point!" "Stop fussing or it will be worse next time"

"How could it be any worse then being tied to a bed a raped by Itachi Uchiha for several hours?" "Tied to a bed and raped by by Itachi and Sasuke Uchiha for several hours" Naruto gulped and shut his trap "Good boy, I think you deserve a cookie" A large chocolate chip cookie appeared in naruto's hands. "YEAH COOKIE!" "Naruto Uzumaki likes getting molested by everyone" "I do not! I only like getting molested by..." Itachi Sasuke Gaara Hinata Ino Sakura Haku Kakashi Kiba Shikamaru Temari Kin Tsunade Iruka Tenten Neji Hanabi Anko Ayame

Kabuto Kurenai Shizune Tayuya "That's about it" Naruto voiced "So pretty much every person you've met has molested you?" "Yeah" "Even the pervy sage?" "HELL NO!" "Ok, ok no need to get upset I just asked a question" "What ever just hurry up I have a date soon" "A date? with who?" Naruto Blushes, "Kin" "That bitchy sound girl that tried to kill Sakura during the chunin exam?" "Yeah" "Wow is it true she's into really kinky things like whips, chains and handcuffs?" "Yeah" "Damn I thought that was Anko's thing?" "It is but Kin's been visiting her alot lately and developed a taste for it" "Well good luck with that, bye Naruto-kun" "See ya and I'm gonna be hokage Believe it!" "Wow so now we know Naruto Uzumaki, maybe if we're really quiet we can hear the wonderfl screams of Naruto submitting" Silence... "Welp never mind then" Chapter 14: Kabuto Yakushi Wondering why Orochimaru wanted to meet him here, Kabuto sat down to wait for his master Know Your Stars

Know Your Stars Know Your Stars "Whose's there?" "It is I Kabuto the interview who you shall hate and fear" interviewer said in a deep booming voice "What could you do that would possible scare me?" Kabuto said unconvinced "Look at the picture under the chair" Kabuto reached under the chair and pulled out a small packet full of photos, the second who looked at one he freaked. "IS... IS THAT?!" "It is" "HOLY KAMI! HELL FROZE OVER AND THE WORLD IS ENDING!" They were photos of Orochimaru and Jiraiya in thongs surrounded by hot young women "I believe we've seen it all now" the interviewer spoke "That scares the hell out of me, now I'm going to have disturbing images in my head for the rest of my life" "It could get worse but we're not gonna go there for now" "Thank Kami" "Kabuto, adores Orochimaru" "FUCK NO I DON'T!" "really?" "YES, god that guy is such a prick not to mention a child molester. Always talking about what he's going to do with the Uchiha's body, it get's really creepy and disturbing after awhile" "And you aren't a child molester?" "What you mean?" "Naruto Uzumaki" "That's different, at least he consents to be molesting" "Good Point" "damn right I make a good point"

"kabuto, secretly creates pocky in his room at sound village" "SHHHHH! I don't want Itachi to know!" "I'm afraid he already does, why do you think we're having this interview?" At Sound Village... "I found the lab Itachi-san" Deidara cheered. "Finally the unsolvable secrets of pocky will be mine!" Itachi laughed evilly "Is this going to take all day? I have a bondage session with Anko in an hour" Naruto voiced looking at his watch. "Be quiet like a good UKE and I'll treat you to ramen later" Itachi spoke Naruto instantly shut up back at the Interview... "So as you can see all of your pocky secrets have been discovered and stolen" "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "What is it with ninja's and pocky anyway? I prefer something a little more filling then candy or ramen" "What do you eat then?" "Dango" "Wanta get some?" "Why not, the interview just got boring anyway" Together Kabuto and the interviewer left to eat Dango and Pocky, moments later a completely naked Anko entered the room "has anyone seen Kakashi's camcorder?" Chapter 15: Shizune (Warning, graphic images involving Naruto, you have been warned) Confused that Tsuande asked her to come here she sat down in the chair, Ton ton her pet pig no where to be found Know Your Stars Know Your Stars Know Your Stars "Tsuande-sama?"

"Do I sound like that big breasted woman to you?" "Sorry" "I sware I shall never understand women" "We can't help it, we're just different" "Shikamaru was right women are troublesome" "Don't act like that lazy bastard!" "Why?" "Cause he's a bad example" Why?" Cause he's lazy, cares about no one but himself and thinks everything in the world is too hard" "Why?" "I don't know damn it!" "Why?" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Shinzue screamed as she started pulling her hair out "See Shikamaru, I told you I could drive her crazy" the interviewer smiled "I lost the bet what a drag" Shikamaru voiced, handing over a hundred yen "You planned this from the start?" Shinzune asked "Of course, unlike your hokage I always win at bets" "Take that Back!" "No infact I'm going to make you a bet right now" "What?" "I bet I can seduce you in under ten seconds" "I'll take that bet, there is no way you can do that" The Interviewer smiled. "Henge Jutsu!" A puff of smoke later and there stood Naruto Uzumaki, grinning his litte fox grin

"NARUTO-KUN!" Shinzune glomped him and they began making out 'Naruto' ripped off all her clothes and began kissing down her body, taking time to suck and play with each nipple "OH NARUTO!" she gasped out loud as 'Naruto' bit down on her hardened nipple Making his way lower he reached 'The Glory Spot' and smirked "I win the bet" He spoke before forcing her legs apart and lowering his head between her legs "ohgod, oh ogd, oh god, oh god, YES KAMI, YESYESYESYESYES!" She screamed. Up in the booth... "Poor Shikamaru, I feel a little bad for using that mind control jutsu now and then henging him into Naruto" .... "Nah!" Chapter 16: Jiraiya Our beloved perverted Sannin walked into the dark room after seeing a naked Anko enter earlyer, he wanted to sketch her for his 'research' but couldn't find her. Disappointed he sat down in the chair. Know Your Stars Know Your Stars Know Your Stars "Who's there?" "It is I, the master of chaos, the wielder of insanity, I am Tri-Edge the Interviewer!" he said follower by clapping and cheering from Jerry Springer. "TRIEDGE!" "TRIEDGE!" "TRIEDGE!" "ETC..." "How did you get so popular?" "Well I got this video of Naruko and Haku having hot steamy sex and I air it on Pay - Per- View every weekend" "CAN I SEE? ITS FOR RESEARCH!"

"maybe, if you settle down and start with the interview" Jiraiya stttled down into the chair and crossed his arms "Jiraiya, likes big boobies" "OF COURSE I DO! I'M A PERVERT!" "I thought your were a super pervert?" "I am I just didn't feel like voicing it" "Lazy bastard" "HEY!" "Sorry I didn't know I said that outloud" "Keep your thoughts to yourself!" "Whatever, Jiraiya, hates writing yoai manga" "Its not that I hate it I just don't get many chances to spy on male couples" "Then I'll give you directions to the next Naruto rape party alright?" "Sure" "Jiraiya, thinks the Kyuubi is hot" "How can a fox be hot?" "Well the fox is a woman, a very sexy hot woman with knockers bigger then Tsunades" "WHERE IS SHE?!" "I believe she is raping Naruto in his dreams right now" "DAMN!" "Oh stop your complaining, here's the video now get out of here!" "I am off to study my preverted research" Chapter 17: Tenten Walking into the dark room where she saw Neji and Lee enter earlier, Tenten looked around but saw nothing. Sighing she sat down and began to polish her precious kunai. Know Your Stars Know Your Stars Know Your Stars

"What the?" "Greeting Tenten-chan, I am the interviewer" he said with glee "Interviewer? did you interview Neji-kun and Lee-san as well?" "Yes honey, except Lee's interview didn't last long" "Why?" "Well I don't want to go into detail but it involved the flames of youth and a disturbing sunset backdrop" "I told Lee to stop doing the man hug with Gai-sensei" "Well he said it was youthful to embrace in the man hug" "I sware he is such a child sometimes" "Anyway enough of that, Tenten, secretly adores Neji" "What? I do not like Neji!" "Really? strange you think the way he's so protective of you that he had feelings for you" "Neji has feelings for me?" Tenten blushed crimson red "Maybe, if he ever stops being a hard ass and admits it" "I wish Naruto would just kick his ass again" "I'll speak to Naruto about that, now, Tenten, thinks Naruto is Kawaii" "OF COURSE HE'S KAWAII!" "Wow Ten-chan tone it down a notch" "Sorry, he's just really cute with that blonde hair and adorable wisker marks" "Yes, yes we all know how cute Naruto is when he's not wearing that god forsaken orange jumpsuit" "I just wish I had the guts to say it to his face" Up in the booth... "See Naruto-kun I told you she likes you" "Damn and I thought having Hinata-chan and Itachi-kun was enough" Back Below... "Um Hello?" Tenten called out

"Sorry, had a phone call, Tenten, loves the flames of youth" "SHHHHHHH! don't say that out loud!" "Why?" Gai and Lee burst into the room.... "OH TENTEN YOU MUST JOIN US IN OUR CIRCLE OF YOUTHFUL FLAMES"! They both yelled. "oh kami" Lee tackled Tenten and Gai did a nice guy pose... "YOU MUST JOIN US TENTEN, YOU MUST JOIN US!" They began to drag Tenten out of the room, her nails leaving scars in the floor... "I DON'T WANT TO JOIN YOUR CULT!" Tenten screamed Up in the booth... "I must save her" Naruto voiced taking out a kunai "No just wait Naruto-kun, you'll see" the interviewer smirked Moments later... "You cannot take my Tenten from me, fate will not allow it!" Neji burst into the room, eyes filled with fury. "Neji-kun!" Tenten cheered "Juken!" Neji attacked Gai and Lee, rendering them unconcious. "Oh Neji-kun I was so scared!" Tenten cheered glomping her savior. Neji picked her up bridal style and marched to the door. "Now I shall take you off into the sunset and make wonderful love to you, my Tenten-chan" Neji smiled Booth... "Wow I did not see that comming" Naruto voiced "Don't you have somewhere to be Naruto?" "What? Oh shit! I'm late for my sex session with Haku! Sexy Jutsu!"

Naruto transformed into Naruko with his legendary jutsu "See ya!" Chapter 18: Tsunade The legendary sannin walked into the room, noticing the new scars in the ground leading toward the door she raised an eyebrow before sitting in the chair. Know Your Stars Know Your Stars Know Your Stars "Good evening Tsunade-sama" "Good evening Tri-Edge-sama" "Shall we begin?" "Sure if this get's me out of doing paper work" "Tsunade, adores Kakashi" "I do not!" "Why?" "He's always late, takes nothing serious, is a bad example to all the younger shinobi, and worst of all he's a pervert!" "I see" "That's all you have to say?" "Yes did you except me to say more?" "Your wierd Tri-Edge" "I know and I like being wierd, I get more ratings that way" "Is ratings all you care about?" "Of course not, I care about getting the best ratings by doing the least amount of work humanly possible" "You sound like Shikamaru that way" "Hey what can I say he's a great role model" "Your being sarcastic again aren't you?" "Actually not this time, I'm speaking the truth"

"Your wierder then Orochimaru" Silence went throughout the room/// "DON'T YOU EVER COMPARE ME TO THAT FREAK!" Tsunade was scared so stiff she fell out of the chair... "Ok, ok, I take back what I said!" "Good"