Northeast Ohio

Northeast Ohio

Parents,

December 2009 Vol. 40 No. 12

Families

and

Friends

of

Lesbians

and

Gays

A joint publication of the Akron and Cleveland chapters

Inside this issue: About Us

By Ed Kancler, Akron chapter president

2

Events

2-4

Marriage

4-5

Essay

Well, the holiday season is upon us! After a wonderful Thanksgiving Day with family and friends, my cousin announced he was going to do “Black Friday.” He did. Why he did, we’ll never know. But, I guess it’s the spirit of the season. And, while we all like getting and giving gifts to each other and our loved ones, let’s not forget those in need. There are so many ways to help, with donations of food, clothing, toys and, of

course, money for those less fortunate in these hard economic times. I encourage you to think of those who are without, for whatever reason, and do something for them this season. Our annual meeting and guest lecture in memory of Bruce Kriete was well attended. David Horowitz reminisced about Bruce, while Bill Libby honored two of our longest standing members, Art Kaltenborn and Bob Menapace. We will be making a special donation in their names to PFLAG National. Sen. Sherwood Brown was represented by Aide Max Blachman. Also in attendance were Sharyl Kriete, her partner Shannan Hanna, Sandra Kurt and, of course, our guest speaker, Lynne Bowman of Equality Ohio. Our regular cast of members and guests were there as well. Thanks to all for being there. Just as I thought, the cause is somewhat in the

doldrums right now, what with healthcare, the holidays, and Afghanistan, as well as such trivial things as party crashers at the White House and Tiger Woods making headlines for his driving away from the golf course. But lo and behold, Cleveland added transgendered to its list of protected individuals in its nondiscrimination law and Akron passed a nondiscrimination ordinance. Several of our members attended the Akron City Council meeting (see David Horowitz’s letter on page 5. So, the battle still goes on. As you hustle and bustle around town this holiday season, talk to friends about H.B.176. Write your state senators. Ask retailers and business people you know if they would lend their support to our fight for equality. Every little bit helps! Finally, I wish you, your family and friends a great holiday season!

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CHAPTER MEETINGS Akron PFLAG Dec. 17 7:00 pm N. Springfield Presbyt. 671 N. Canton Rd.

Cleveland PFLAG Jan. 12 7:30 pm Trinity Episcopal 2230 Euclid Ave,, 44115

Alliance PFLAG Dec. 22 7:00 pm Union Ave. Methodist S. Union Ave.

Wooster PFLAG Dec. 17 7:00 pm Universalist Fellowship 3186 Burbank Rd. Please call ahead to confirm.

Youngstown PFLAG Dec. 20 3:00 pm Stonewall Comm. Ctr. 1523 Poland Ave.

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P F L AG Our Mission PFLAG promotes the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender persons, their families and friends through SUPPORT to cope with an adverse society; EDUCATION to enlighten an ill-informed public; and ADVOCACY to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights. PFLAG provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender identity and acts to create a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity.

DEC 8

“Preacher’s Sons,” a documentary about LGBT adoption, 7:00 p.m., West Shore Unitarian Universalist Church, 20401 Hilliard Blvd., Rocky River. Refreshments and conversation to follow film. For info call 440-3332255.

DEC 11

The LGBT Center of Greater Cleveland Winter Benefit Party, 7:0011:00 p.m., Gray’s Auctioneers, 10717 Detroit Ave., Cleveland. For tickets and details visit www.lgcsc.org.

DEC North Coast Men’s Chorus: “Snow Biz”, three shows at Playhouse Square’s Hanna Theater. For tickets, visit 12-13 www.playhousesquare.com.

AKRON CHAPTER PO Box 5471 Akron, OH 44334 W W W . PF LA G A K RO N . O RG

DEC 14

HELPLINE: 330-342-5825

Elegies for Angels, Punks and Raging Queens, a benefit for the Community AIDS Network, 7:30 p.m., United Church of Christ First Grace Arts, 350 S. Portage Path, Akron (at W. Exchange St., adjacent to Coach House Theater). Monologues and songs inspired by panels on the Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt and Edgar Lee Master’s Spoon River Anthology. Tickets $10 at www.firstgraceucc.org or 330-212-6709. Actors after-performance reception at Square Bar in Highland Square includes light buffet and cash bar. Tickets $10 must be purchased in advance.

Executive Board President-Ed Kancler; VP-Chris Goldthorpe; Secretary-Joe Gardner; Treasurer-Bob Menapace; At LargeDavid Horowitz, Bill & Marie Libby, Audrey Kancler, Trish Casserly, Joy Watts, Jim Lake, Sue & Chuck Magilavy

Committee Chairs Program-Chris Goldthorpe; PublicityMarie Libby; Hospitality-Rada Jenkins; Library-David Greene; NewsletterAudrey Kancler

DEC 16

CLEVELAND CHAPTER 615 Prospect St. Berea, OH 44017 W W W . PF LA G C LE V E LA N D . O RG

[email protected]

INFOLINE: 216-556-1701 Executive Board President-Sharon Groh-Wargo; VPJes Sellers; Secretary-Marianne Buccini; Treasurer-Art Thomson; At Large-Alan & Margot Cohen, Craig Hoffman; Legislative Coordinator-Tom Roese; Newsletter-Pat Brandt; Snacks-Gail Smith; Librarian-Gene Ashley; Webmaster-Quentin Jamieson

Insight Annual Holiday Dinner, Cleveland’s premier LGBT personal, social and business networking organization. Call 216556-0576 for location and reservations.

Thru

DEC 19 DEC 20

“A Wonderful Holiday,” concert by the Blazing River Freedom Band, with selections from “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” “The Nightmare Before Christmas,” and others. 8:00 p.m., Franklin Circle Churcjh, 1688 Fulton Rd., Cleveland. Tickets $5. Call 216-916-2125. “The Santaland Diaries,” presented by Cleveland Public Theater at the James Levin Theater. The story of a 33-yearold slacker who takes a job as Macy’s Christmas elf. Show times and ticket info at www.cptonline.org. Sisters Holiday Wreath Auction, to benefit the LGBT Center of Greater Cleveland, 2205 St. Clair Ave., Cleveland. Info at www.ohsisters.org.

December 2009

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Buying for equality in 2010 Help support businesses that support us with every purchase you make.

ing benefits for LGBT employees and their families, and offering diversity training.

Buying for Equality is a consumer information guide which rates businesses on how well they support LGBT equality within their organizations and publicly, including banning discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity and provid-

Despite the economic downturn, more businesses than ever rated 100 percent on the HRC Foundation’s Corporate Equality Index, the basis for the guide. Download or request a copy online at www.hrc.org.

Great gift ideas Have a friend that is an equality activist? Or should be one? Here’s a couple of great gift ideas.

organizations offer gift memberships. An HRC membership is as low as $35.

Buy a gift that keeps giving by getting your friend a membership to an organization that supports equality. HRC, Lambda Legal, Victory Fund, and most other national gay

Love and Pride jewelry (loveandpride.com) offers a conversation piece bracelet featuring the number 1138—that’s the number of rights and responsibilities denied to

Tips for a happy holiday If You’re LGBT: Plan ahead—Don’t assume you know how somebody will react. You may be surprised. Remember that coming out is a continuous process. You may have to come out many times. Recognize that family members may need time to accept you. If you are partnered, discuss in advance how you will talk about your relationship and show affection. Be wary of the desire to shock people. Make alternative plans for sleeping arrangements in case the situation becomes difficult at home. Collect GLBT support resources to share. During your visit, reassure family that you are still the same person they knew. Take care of your partner’s needs and your own.

If You’re a Family Member: Contact your nearest PFLAG chapter for support. Realize everyone will be a little nervous, but don’t assume the worst in people. Be honest about your feelings and give yourself time to adjust. Prepare how you will talk to family members. If you are comfortable, they will more likely be too.

gay couples. $59 It also has a titanium Matthew Shepard pendant featuring the words, “Erase Hate” and “Understanding, Compassion, Acceptance.” Also $59, with proceeds going to the Matthew Shepard Foundation.

Philanthropia: A luncheon for community After the tragedy of 9/11, New York City absorbed such a large portion of charitable donations from around the country, that many local nonprofits struggled to reach their own goals. In response, Executive Caterers rededicated its December Corporate Club luncheon to the support of local charities, especially smaller organizations without substantial resources of their own. The first “Philanthropia” saw 200 guests and raised $9,000. IN 2007 it had over 1,200 guests and raised more than $128,000. This year Cleveland PFLAG filled two tables at this event—thanks to all who attended.

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GLMA praises AMA policy on gay marriage ✍ Hospital visitation and decision

The Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA) praised the American Medical Association’s (AMA’s) adoption of a policy declaring that gay marriage bans contribute to health disparities for gay couples and their children.

making rights conferred by marriage are important to the quality of care; and

✍ Children of LGBT parents benefit when their families are respected and accorded legal protections.

“We hope the newly adopted policy will inform future debates about expanding the right to marriage to gay and lesbian couples,” said GLMA Education and Policy Director James Beaudreau. “The science on this issue is clear: the health and well-being of gay couples and their families is directly affected by the right to marry.”

“We know that denying lesbians and gay men the opportunity to marry denies them multiple benefits of marriage that support relationships and promote health. As an act of discrimination, it compounds stigma against LGBT people that has been linked to psychological distress, such as anxiety and depression.”

As part of the newly adopted policy, the AMA “supports measures providing same-sex households with the same rights and privileges to health care, health insurance, and survivor benefits, as afforded opposite-sex households.”

bans on the LGBT community. The report noted that:

A 2008 report published by GLMA, Same Sex Marriage and Health, documented evidence about the effects of same-sex marriage

✍ Research indicates that being

✍ Access to health insurance through a spouse is an important component of obtaining quality healthcare; married can contribute to overall health and longevity;

The AMA also adopted policies requesting a repeal of the U.S. military’s ‘don’t ask, don’t-tell’ law. The AMA said ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ creates an ethical dilemma for LGBT service members and the healthcare providers who treat them. GLMA is the world’s largest association of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) healthcare professionals.

Gay marriage defeated in New York Gay marriage in the liberalleaning Northeast lost another significant battle this month. On December 2 the New York state legislature, after a long delay, voted against marriage equality 2438. No Republicans voted for the measure. At the ballot box in November, Maine voters overturned a gay marriage law before it could take effect. According to 365Gay.com, the New York defeat makes it likely that the New Jersey state legislature will either not vote or will also vote in the negative. According to the Associated Press (AP), New York is viewed as

relatively gay-friendly. Court rulings, including one from the state’s highest court just recently, have found that gay couples married outside New York are entitled to some government benefits. New Jersey offers the legal rights afforded to married couples but calls them civil unions. Lawmakers in Vermont and New Hampshire adopted gay marriage bills this year. “In any civil rights struggle, there are going to be periods of creeping and periods of leaping,” Evan Wolfson, executive director of Freedom to Marry, told the AP. The most significant leap this decade was in 2003

when the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruled that gay couples had the right to marry. Since then, twentyseven states have amended their constitutions to legally limit marriage to one man and one woman.

December 2009

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Equality Ohio names new director The Equality Ohio Board of Directors has announced Sue Doerfer as the organization’s new executive director. Doerfer was chosen following an extensive national search. She comes to Equality Ohio after serving five years as Executive Director of the Cleveland LGBT Center. Her experience and involvement with the work of Equality Ohio goes back to the organization’s creation in 2005 when she was a founding member. "We are thrilled to have Sue joining Equality Ohio as our second executive director," said Equality Ohio Education Fund Board President Jeff Smith. "Sue brings commitment, community awareness, bridge building, and political savvy to her life's work as an activist. Her statewide presence and track record of success will allow her to hit the ground running." Doerfer’s achievements at the Cleveland LGBT Center included the development of services for homeless youth in Cuyahoga County, an

increase of the Center’s budget by 30 percent, and the development of an LGBT-focused community health service center. Over the past five years, Doerfer collaborated with Cleveland City Council and other community leaders to develop the Domestic Partnership Registry, add gender identity to legal nondiscrimination protections, and create Ohio’s first city-sponsored LGBT Heritage Day. Prior to her work with the Cleveland LGBT Center, Doerfer served as the Clinical Director of Services for the AIDS Taskforce of Greater Cleveland and as Director of Social Services for Broadway House for Continuing Care in Newark, NJ. Doerfer holds degrees in psychology/ sociology and social work. Her volunteer work includes longtime involvement with Cleveland Stonewall Democrats and Cleveland Pride. “I am honored to have been selected to lead Equality Ohio as the new executive director,” said Doerfer. “It is exciting for me to join such a strong and well-respected organization and I look forward to shaping its future with my ideas, leadership, energy and passion for LGBT equal-

Support the Respect for Marriage Act Freedom to Marry is asking your support for the federal Respect for Marriage Act. The Respect for Marriage Act was introduced in Congress in September 2009 to end that discrimination and ensure that marriages that are valid in the state where they are entered into are respected under federal law. The Respect for Marriage Act will repeal the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which singles out legally married same-sex couples for

unequal treatment under federal law. These valid, state-issued marriages are now selectively denied more than 1,000 federal protections and responsibilities—including Social Security and immigration benefits—that otherwise apply to married couples. Tell your friends, family, and Congressional representatives to support the Respect for Marriage Act. Freedom to Marry is a gay and non-gay partnership working to win marriage equality nationwide.

Akron Council approves ordinance By David M. Horowitz Toby and I attended the Akron City Council meeting where we were joined by six members of PFLAG Akron. The Council voted 11-2 to put into place an antidiscrimination ordinance that includes sexual orientation and gender identity. The only negative was the exemption for religious institutions and groups that contract with the city to provide workers for youth under the age of 18. Those groups must adhere to the provisions of sexual orientation but not gender identity. While that was upsetting, it is a very narrow sub-group and simply means that gender identity would not be included in their contracts. We were not overjoyed, but we got most of what we felt was important, and for that I am grateful to a vast majority of council and the tremendous support of our mayor. Mayor Plusquellic spoke eloquently and credited PFLAG for his understanding of LGBT equality. All in all, it was a good night.

“In Quotes” “Our church and society can fully celebrate this blessing [of marriage] only when all those who are called to marriage can indeed marry, when couples are able to exercise their conscience to make moral decisions about their lives, and when those who are remarried are still welcomed at the table.” —Pastoral letter from several organizations in the Catholic Church to the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, held in November.

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National Equality March sets new milestones By Vince Morvatz city blocks was a rainbow contingent of Marriage Equality groups from across the U.S. Several hundred people dressed in consecutive colors of the gay community rainbow flag, carrying matching umbrellas overhead, created a two- to three-block long rainbow flag on the streets of DC.

While the National Equality March that took place in October was nothing novel to the gay community, the historic point in time at which it took place is, in fact, unique. A whole new generation of young GLBT activists, who have been raised in a more tolerant climate with positive GLBT images in popular culture, TV, music and film, gave this fifth historic march a whole new twist. These “millenniums” as I heard them referred to throughout the weekend, feel a sense of entitlement, equality and freedom not experienced in the young since the hippy days of flower power. This extremely youthful, energetic and technically sophisticated generation doesn’t see the gay civil rights struggle and issues framed in the same way as the generations that preceded them. Many of them can’t comprehend why people ten to twenty years their senior have a problem with equal civil rights for the GLBT community. This generation has many friends and acquaintances who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered and loves and respects them with the same dignity as their heterosexual counterparts.

Most published reports of this year’s march put attendees between 200,000-300,000. The throngs covering the grounds on the west side of the Capitol Building, where presidential inaugurations are normally held, were an impressive and aweinspiring site even for seasoned, diehard activists. The chants along the parade route were new and innovative. Many were so articulate and literal that I had to listen several times to the gist of them. Hundred of handmade signs spoke to the struggle for equality, like “Separation of Church and Hate,” “Keep Your Hate out of My State” and “Marriage is a Basic Civil Right.” Also impressive were the large numbers of unified marching groups. Several of the larger groups were clad in matching red shirts for “Marriage Equality” and “Immigration Equality.” The latter group stretched 40 to 50 people across the street and swept past me at least 15 or 20 rows deep. Another group that filled several

The speakers at the rally at the base of the Capitol Building were powerful and moving: Cleve Jones, Judy Shepard, military personnel and Lady Gaga (about whom some older folks simply said, “Lady Who?”). Our bus ride was organized by the Akron AIDS Collaborative, and our diversity of young and old, gay and straight, black and white was tremendously refreshing. Among the 50+ passengers were students from Kent State, the University of Akron, Cleveland State University and even Notre Dame College in Cleveland Heights. On the ride back it was interesting to watch many of them texting their friends back home about what they had seen, while at the same time buzzing on their cell phones about their most recent adventure. This young, exuberant generation gives this seasoned activist optimistic hope. I hope, too, that perhaps soon these rallies to clamor for GLBT equality might become of thing of the past, with full civil rights and acceptance finally achieved, God willing!

You al ways have a home at PFLAG!