Moustaches Make The Music

Rock Around Le Blog with Gilles LeBlanc Moustaches Make the Music!

Since the first of November, I have been trying hard to do something I’ve never done in my almost 40 years on this planet. Grow a moustache! Even after watching shows like Magnum, P.I. as a kid, never once did I ever think, “Gee, when I’m old enough, I want a chick magnet on my face like Tom Selleck!” But I’m doing it for a good cause – Movember! For the last few years, during the month formerly known as November, men around the world having been taking part in a 30-day challenge to raise money and awareness for men’s health issues by growing their “Mo”s (moustaches). Two weeks in, I’ve formed some Hulk Hogan-esque handlebars, but my upper lip still has some catching up to do. While my friends and family have been very supportive, I’ve been looking for further inspiration to start pushing up my hair daisies, and I figured who better to motivate me than rock musicians! With that said, I thought I’d share with you all a few of the artists whose moustaches I’m looking my nose down at, so to speak: One band who I’ve been listening to a lot since I’ve begun my moustachegrowing mission are The Black Keys. If you don’t know who they are, that’s O.K., but you’re missing out on some amazingly bluesy rock. I’m talking heavy, head-jerking riffs that feel like they’re putting hair on your face like steak and potatoes are supposed to do to a guy’s chest! Dan Auerbach, in particular, the Keys’ singer and guitarist, has a wooly bully look to him that makes you think he’d be more at home in another era like the 1960s, dancing in the mud at Woodstock with all the other hippies. Sadly, he wouldn’t be eligible for Movember as he sports a rather full beard, the kind you’d swear a family of birds were living in! Watch: The Black Keys – I Got Mine (Live on Letterman)

I’m not the biggest heavy metal fan, but I can appreciate certain bands’ contributions to the history of popular music…as well as to male pogonotrophy! (The growing of facial hair; look it up on Wikipedia!) Metallica’s James Hetfield’s legendary Fu Manchu immediately comes to mind, as does Spinal Tap’s Derek Smalls’ black-as-coal horseshoe. There isn’t anyone, though, who purposely raises his mic a good foot higher than it should be and arcs it so as to accentuate the awesomeness of his mutton chops like Lemmy from English metal pioneers Motörhead! Nearly 35 years later, he’s going as strong as ever – I’m sure I’m not the only one who believes his ‘hairiness’ has a lot to do with his continued success! Watch: Motörhead – Ace of Spades

You wouldn’t usually associate moustaches with the three rapping MCs from New York City known as the Beastie Boys, but back in 1994 they created what is still in my opinion the greatest music video of all time! With apologies to the late, great Michael Jackson and his dancing zombies, ‘Sabotage,’ the Beasties’ sendup of 1970s cop shows, has everything – Car chases, leaps from tall buildings, donuts being dunked, and most importantly, retro-swanky “fuzz!” It wasn’t the police badges they found in boxes of Cracker Jack that made their characters so memorable…and believable! It was their straight outta Boogie Nights mouth brows; no need to call for backup! Watch: Beastie Boys – Sabotage There are a number of critics and music fans who are of the opinion that some album from the late-‘60s called Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band is one of the greatest ever recorded. I’ve given it a spin here and there, and yeah, I guess it’s pretty good; it helps that those four British moptops had some pretty groovy ‘staches going on. But to me, its enduring legacy was that it begot a puppet named Sgt. Floyd Pepper, the rocking left-handed bassist and vocalist of Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, a.k.a. The Muppet Show house band! If there’s a more skilled axe marionette out there, I’ve yet to see him! In performances on the venerable variety show, he could be wilder than even their “animalistic” drummer, but there were many times when the power of his stringy orange whiskers allowed him to display his sensitive side, as seen in his touching cover of Billy Joel’s ‘New York State of Mind.’ Watch: Sgt. Floyd Pepper – New York State of Mind I can’t do this list justice without acknowledging a sextet that set the bar awfully high in terms of fusing music with facial hair. There aren’t many other songs that celebrate the male form – including moustaches – better than the Village People’s all-time disco classic ‘Macho Man.’ It’s tough not to look at guys like myself who are growing their “Mo”s and wonder…Which member of the Village People are they trying to emulate? (Except for the Mo-less Indian on the treadmill, but who ever wanted to be him, really?!) Watch: Village People – Macho Man All kidding aside, Movember is something I am taking very seriously, so I would be honoured if anyone would like to sponsor me – You can do so by following this link to donate to my team, Los Impotencias! (An extremely appropriate name considering how follically challenged my upper lip tends to be!) Muchas gracias and roca encendido!! (That’s thank you very much and rock on en español!)