Miss Handi Capable

January 28, 2008

GRAFFITI MISS HANDI-CAPABLE

PAGE 4

NEELY HALL GEEKS

PAGE 3

AT THE MOVIES

PAGE 10

This issue’s theme:

A Look Back and A Look Ahead

CO N T E N TS In this issue:

THE REGULARS 2 Letter from the Editor: Resignation and goodbye... 9 Derek and Daphne: Once again, answering all the tough questions. 11 GRAFFITI LITERARY CORNER: More poems, coming at you reshall style.

In this issue:

A LOOK AHEAD: 5

IT’S A VANDAL’S LIFE:

6

MEET THE NEW EVENTS COORDINATOR:

6

READY FOR THE NEW FOOTBALL SEASON:

7

WALLACE CONCEPT ROOMS:

7

EXPLORE THE POSSIBILITIES:

Stevenson Wing of Wallace has been hit 8 with an unusual sort of vandalism.

A UNIFIED VISION FOR GEM:

Steve Hanna discusses his vision for RHA events this semester.

In this issue:

A LOOK BACK: 3 A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE MEALS:

Bob’s strikes again, in all the usual ways.

UI Football is looking up.

Concept rooms may be the future for living in Wallace.

3 GEELY HALL (GEEKS OF NEELY):

Neely resident Erik Ogden gives us the scoop on what the freshman engineering hall is really like.

4 PEANUT BUTTER VANDALISM: 4 MISS HANDI-CAPABLE:

Housing Coordinator Emmalee Kearney speaks out about Handicapped parking abuse.

Scholar Cory Griffard writes about his vision for Scholars Hall.

Tried many classes outside your major? Spenser Oldemeyer will tell you why you should. What Gem Hall is, and what they could be.

10 SUB THEATER MOVIES:

Checked out the SUB movies lately?

FINAL LETTER FROM THIS EDITOR Dawn Cooper - Editor-in-Chief

Looking back over the academic year so far, I would have to say that there have been a lot of new experiences, obstacles, and overcoming for myself and for all of RHA’s ever-changing e-board. New experiences allow us to think in ways that we wouldn’t necessarily think that we could, obstacles teach us how to hang together, and overcoming teaches us trust and brings us closer. We’ve said goodbye to some on council who needed to move on to new things, and said hello to others just waiting to make their marks on the reshalls. All in all, it has been a year to remember thus far. 2 GRAFFITI January 28, 2008

I say remember because I feel the need at this time to resign my position and hand Graffiti off to someone new, bright, and full of the kind of enthusiasm that it takes to keep the residence halls strong. Looking back, it has been a great run, but looking forward, I think it will keep on just as strong if not stronger. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be the editor of the resident’s newsletter, YOUR newsletter, and to help you all give voice to what matters to you at this point in your university career. Good luck, and keep on writing!

A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE MEALS Taylor Hasenpflug - McConnell Hall

This is the first article I’ve submitted to the Graffiti, and I realize that this newsletter has a long history of criticizing Bob’s (a.k.a. the Wallace Food Court) so if I repeat anything that has been said I apologize in advance. Bob’s food, the so-called nutrition we have all come to know and love over the years (sense my sarcasm), is something that we all get to experience while we are students here at U of I. As much as I love being a Vandal, I’m simply ashamed at the excruciating hoops and stomach-aches that we are forced to jump through simply because we live on campus. Let me put it this way- with my own personal experience. I hardly ever eat at Bob’s. I’m forced to spend over $1300 on the cheapest meal plan that they allow you (10 meals/week and $500 flex), and I use my flex, but overall I use about 4

meals per week. The only reason I use that many is because I run out of other food because I don’t have the money to go to WinCo. Because we live in the dorms, we are forced to buy the meal plan too- whether we use it or not. Frankly, it would be much cheaper for me to just live off campus and shop and WinCo every week and eat at decent restaurants (that don’t give me Bob’s stomach) than to live in the dorms, pay over $600 a month roughly with a meal plan on top of that. And what are we paying for? We are paying for the courtesy half-hour after we eat at Bob’s, the “Freshman Fifteen,” and a buffet that (at least I feel) guilty if I don’t partake until I am stuffed with less-than-nutritiousSysco-deep-fried-lamp-heated almost-food. Author’s Note: The powdered eggs on weekend mornings- try to avoid them if you can,

GEELY HALL (GEEKS OF NEELY) Erik Ogden - Neely Hall

Our doors are closed, our network ports open, and we game. If one walks up to the second floor one will hear a cacophony of plastic guitar licks and screams from Halo 3. The World of Warcraft players are a bit more subdued, though a wipe in a 20 man instance can cause quite an uproar amongst normally passive gamers. To pass the time we run raids and play red vs. blue and when the internet is slow, Guitar Hero picks up. When we are bored in class, the laptops come out and a Starcraft skirmish commences. Sometimes a Rubik’s cube will be pulled out of a bag. We are a generation of gamers and thinkers. Many of us constantly browse Wikipedia and Digg and

del.icio.us; “[our] knowledge is an inch deep and four miles wide.” Lord of the Rings and Star Wars can be viewed at any time, for they are always being played. In the early morning, the lights of second and third floor are almost always lit up. We are nocturnal on the weekends thanks to our friends Mr. Mountain Dew and Mrs. Crack Cocaine – together they make a lovely couple. When a girl exits the elevator on the third floor we assume they are lost and offer our assistance. Last week when the power went out we didn’t know how to have fun. This is Neely Hall. h t t p : / / w w w . randsinrepose.com/archives/2007/11/11/the_ nerd_handbook.html January 28, 2008 GRAFFITI 3

PEANUT BUTTER VANDALSIM Samuel Spence - Stevenson Hall There was peanut butter, EVERYWHERE. We may be the Vandals, but that doesn’t mean we have to vandalize. Over MLK weekend, many people in Stevenson Hall woke up to peanut butter smeared all over their doors and stairwells. It was disgusting. There were immature and inappropriate images, locks wouldn’t work, peanut butter got on the carpets, and people ended up with peanut butter all over. We are college students. That means we are adults, and some level of maturity is typically implied with this title. This doesn’t mean we can’t think pranks are funny. Harmless, well-thought pranks can sometimes be hilarious. Spreading peanut butter all over walls and doors is not a harmless prank. Stevenson Hall

is going to be forced to use hall funds to cover the cleaning expenses, as well as the possible replacement of door locks. Not to mention the fact that this was an act of vandalism, a crime. Other people vandalize, but that isn’t us. We, as college students and adults, do not vandalize. I want to thank Austin Frates, of Stevenson Hall. Austin took the time out of his three-day weekend to clean off his door, as well as a few other doors in his hall. Personally, I’m going to follow Austin’s example of how an adult acts. If you have any information regarding the above mentioned events, please let your RA know. Let those responsible accept the consequences of their actions.

MISS HANDI-CAPABLE Emmalee Kearney - Upham Hall

Did you know that it is a $500 fine to park in a handicapped parking space when you don’t have a handicap placard (that includes stopping and turning on your hazard lights while you wait for a friend)? Did you know that if you use someone else’s handicap parking placard it can be revoked by the State? I am lucky enough to have a car and a Handicap Parking Permit issued to me by the State of Idaho. My biggest issue being temporarily handicapped this semester is being unable to find a place to park. Unfortunately, perfectly capable 4 GRAFFITI January 28, 2008

people keep parking in the Disabled parking places because they justify that it will just be five minutes. Did you know, in that five minutes there may not be a parking enforcement officer but maybe two or three different people who drive by, looking for a handicap parking place and are out of luck because you’re parked there? Did you also know that if I am one of those people, I will take a picture of your car and hand it over to the Parking and Transportation office or the Moscow Police to deal with you? If I suspect that you are using someone else’s parking placard to get a great parking spot, I will take a picture of you next to your lovely car and turn it over to the proper authorities. I don’t want to be mean but I get frustrated trying to get around. I will probably take that frustration out on someone who doesn’t think about others. All I ask is that you get out a quarter and stick it in a meter.

IT’S A VANDAL’S LIFE Cory Griffard - Scholars Hall Our theme this month is looking back at last semester and looking ahead. In my opinion, we look back to think about all of the good times and bad times (hopefully not too much of the latter) to analyze our college careers and think of how to make the best of them. That’s kind of the neat thing about the spring semester—if you find you weren’t too happy in the fall, or didn’t feel like you made the most of your college experience, then you’ve got a chance to make things better this semester. Some people may find themselves wondering how to make their college lives more fun, while others may have been too busy with studying and work and stuff. Here are a few hints that may help. I feel that a fun college experience, at least if you’re living in the dorms, includes talking to and hanging out with people from your hall, doing fun events with them, participating in an extracurricular activity or two, seeing friends in the area you’ve known since kindergarten, going to a Vandal sporting event (if not for the team, then at least for the marching band!), chasing after that cute girl/guy you’ve liked for weeks if not months, doing an intramural sport, or if you’re me, bringing a keg of root beer into the top of the Theophilus Tower, thus having the first legal kegger in the Tower. Please don’t take this the wrong way and think you still shouldn’t do homework and whatnot. As a resident of the Scholars LLC, I feel obli-

gated to encourage you to study your asses off, but not to the point of where you’re not having any fun. That’s another thing you can look back on—if you were taking any classes pertaining to your major, did you enjoy them? The way I see it, you should be passionate about you major and enjoy what you’re studying, otherwise what’s the point? Remember it’s not too late to change your major if you’re not happy about it. I know some of you are taking 18 to 20 credits and only have time for studying, so perhaps you should talk to your advisors for other options. You may ask “Why bother? What makes campus life so important?” Believe it or not, these are perhaps the most important, most fun years of your life. I know, I know, that’s what they said about high school. But I seriously doubt high school even compares to college. Keep in mind (this especially goes to you freshman out there) college goes by way faster than high school. I don’t care if you’re here eight years, they will go by faster than those four of high school. The first month or two may have been a bit slow because you’re settling in and just getting to know everything, but once you get moving along, time goes by faster than a cheetah on crack. With that in mind, do what you can to make the most of your life here on campus, because it’ll be over before you know it. Have as much fun as you can (while still attempting good grades) and enjoy your short time as being a Vandal!

January 28, 2008 GRAFFITI 5

MEET THE NEW EVENTS COORDINATOR Steve Hanna - McCoy Hall

Hey to all! I’m Steve Hanna and I’m so excited to begin an exciting semester of events and pizzazz as the new Events Coordinator for RHA. A little about me… I’m an English/Spanish major with an emphasis in having a great time. I come from the leadership staffing team of Youth 2 Youth International in Los Angeles, CA and I want to make a semester full of dynamic and exciting events. We’ll kick off the semester with The Dating Game on Wednesday, February 13 at 7:00 PM, and the planning team has already lined out a hilarious and surprising event. Come expecting a good time and lots of laughs! We want you there, even if you already have a date for Val-

entine’s. You’ll see what I mean when it’s time! Looking ahead, we’ll begin gearing up for Spring Fling, Vandal Friday, and the Executive Ball, which will be a high energy, high caliber dance to finish off our semester. In the meantime, I encourage you to get your hall together for some Vandal basketball action, as we’re finally starting to win! If you have any suggestions for events, I want to hear from you! Just put your suggestions in the slot-box on the RHA office door (located in the Wallace basement), and I’ll do what I can to serve you. I look forward to seeing you at The Dating Game on February 13, and have a great semester!

READY FOR THE NEW FOOTBALL SEASON? Christina Tewes - CNR House

Granted it’s only January and school just started for the spring s e m e s t e r, but several students are already looking forward to the new football season. First of all, the entire offensive line is returning next year, young players who will get better as they continue to work with each other. Our quarterback Nathan Enderle has one year of college football experience under his belt so vandal fans are looking forward to seeing him play this coming season. Also the team doesn’t have to get used to a new coach again, Robb Akey will continue to be the Head Coach of the Vandal Football Team for a second year. Same coach means familiar coaching style. “I’m looking forward to Robb Akey having a full 6 GRAFFITI January 28, 2008

year to recruit” said student Keith Ligman. We will also have freshmen All-American Deonte Jackson returning to the team. And with sophomore Shiloh Keo on defense it looks like a promising new season. “I’m looking forward to seeing our new recruits on Letter of Intent Day” said student Danny Allen. “Also, taking comfort in the knowledge that BSU is getting worse while we are getting better, and having the BSU game here at home.” When asked what advice could be given to the football players, students responded encouragingly. “Don’t panic, put a lot of heart in it” said Keith Ligman. “Give 110%, don’t quit at the 3rd quarter” said Tyler Gross. Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to a new season!

WALLACE CONCEPT ROOMS Michael Messinese - Stevenson Hall

I live in the new concept room in Stevenson Wing, Bora Hall. The new room is amazing; I love the feel of the whole room, with the cozy carpet to the comfortable new bed. The new room comes equipped with a card reader at the door that locks itself, to a new shower and sink. The new room is a real home for me; with the carpet installed it makes it feel like home. It is a privilege to live in the new room, and it is one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I have visited the LLC’s at the University, and aside from the stove and big fridge in the room, the rooms are the same. If everyone could get the chance to live in the new concept rooms I am sure that people would love it. The room is cozy, and if you are feeling a little home sick and do not want to spend an extra thousand dollars to go and live in the LLC’s, than apply for the concept rooms in Wallace Residences, you will not regret the decision.

Rooms like this in Wallace may someday be a thing of the past.

EXPLORE THE POSSIBILITIES Spencer Oldemeyer - Scholars Hall

After three semesters and three weeks of college I’ve come to realize the best classes that I’ve taken are the ones that have nothing to do with my major. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a ME major and I really enjoy what I’m studying. But it’s the classes that break away from the math and physics and engineering courses that are the ones that I seem to remember the most. I had a seminar about the development trajectory of Africa last semester that I really enjoyed, the semester before that my best class was my English 102 class, and before that I had a globalization class that really caught my interest. This semester, the class that I look forward to the most is a philosophy class about ethics. The thing about these courses is that they force me out of my comfort zone of math and science and give me a glimpse of what else is

out there. One of the reasons that I decided to go to the U of I was because it allowed me to explore other areas besides engineering. I find it interesting and rewarding learning more about subject areas that are new or foreign to me and the U of I is a great place to do it. I guess what I’m getting at is that I’ve found that venturing out of a person’s major can be a valuable experience and with so many opportunities the U of I is a great place to do it. I know that there are many reasons why a person wouldn’t want to take a class like this but I challenge everyone to get out of their comfort zone and take something that has nothing to do with their major. Even if you love your major and you have no intention of changing it you might be surprise how easily it could turn into your favorite class. January 28, 2008 GRAFFITI 7

A UNIFIED VISION FOR GEM Virgina Batha - Gem Hall When I envisioned college life and living in the dorms I pictured many late nights with people doing things together and having lots of fun. However, I found that once I finally moved in to my first dorm or community house as is more appropriate a term, I found that that assumption was not altogether correct. I live in Gem hall or LLC #1 and I’ve now found myself in the position of President of the hall starting this semester. I thought that since our theme is “The Community Service Hall” that I would a group of people more like myself: people who like to be active and social as well as help out in the community. Now to be fair there is a good number of people who live there that are active and like to do things as a group and take part in community events, but it is not by far the vast majority of our residents. I suppose you could view this as a calling to others who are looking for the same kind of community life. I would like to see us unified and for us to finally live up to our “theme” as a Commu-

nity Service Hall. After all this is how I thought it would be when I was considering what residence hall would be a good fit as some might say. Many people don’t know that we have this theme and I would like to invite others to take a look at Gem if you like helping out your community and joining in with others. I think that by getting this article out there other students looking for the same vision might take our hall into consideration. As I see it, the first step is getting those living in the hall active first, but at the same time inviting those who are looking for this kind of community house life the invitation to look at Gem. My main objective for this semester is to take action and be creative and have fun with a variety of ideas that those living within our hall would enjoy. I want to see our hall unified, and taking a step higher than that I would like to see all of the residence halls make that leap. I know that there are many other halls that are very active and I want Gem to take that step.

YOU HAVE AN OPINION, USE IT HOW TO SUBMIT YOUR ARTICLE LIVE

W RITE

IT

We accept all kinds of articles including human interest, political commentary, letters of opinion, poems, stories, photos, comics, and feedback to Graffiti staff.

1

8 GRAFFITI January 28, 2008

Here at Graffiti, we’d like you to keep your articles to 300 words, but we want you to write exactly what you have to say, so don’t be afraid to go over the limit. Don’t forget to include your name and hall!

2

S UBMIT

IT

IT

Please submit your articles online at www.reshalls.org on the Graffiti tab. Enter your name, hall, a short description, and don’t forget to attach your article.

3

DEREK AND DAPHNE DOCTORS OF THE HEART

Dear Derek and Daphne, My friend and I arrived at the track meet on time and the morning was going slow until she walked by. Beautifully tanned legs, fried chicken right out of the bucket, and abs that tempted my mind more than the lemon pound cake I had purchased for breakfast. You might think I am in love with food, but that is far from the truth, for I was in love with her, and food. But man, she was an amazing athlete. I waited by the sidelines taking pictures, cheering her on, and then I called her name out after she completed an amazing long jump, but all I got was a cold shoulder and stone face. Derek and Daphne, can you help me with my problem? Sincerely, Shut-down in Scholars Dear Shut-down,

Dear Shut-Down,

Dude, that chick sounds smoking hot, but she’s totally too stuck up for you. There is no way that any dame with any sense will be able to resist your charms once you bust out your mad writing skills. Look at this guy! He’s writing into a crappy dating advice column, and he writes a frickin treatise on awesome. “Fried chicken right out of the bucket”. This is the mark of a true genius here. He noticed what few writers are observant enough to see. When I look at a fresh, greasy, Colonel’s Secret Recipe injected shank of avian glory, I get a feeling in my gut... The same feeling I get when I look at a totally bitchin set of legs! Yeah, the ones that go ALL the way up, aw yeah...

Here’s a hint: most girls appreciate the chase. Call it head games or primal urges, lots of women enjoy a man who will put forth advancements without any flickers of encouragement. It may be a bit twisted but trust me, it’s all a ploy to see how far you will go.

Dude, just pick a gal and bust out some “You’re so sexy” wordplay, and she’ll be a freakin stick of butter in your arms. You’ve got the gift, bro, don’t let this get you down-they’ll be crawling on their knees!

Keep up the hard work, don’t be creepy (via facebook stalkin’), and be smarter than the game.

Hells Yeah! Derek

Fucked up, ain’t it? But can you blame us, really? In light of one-night stands and friendswith-benefits, we HAVE to test whether your intentions are honorable... or at least honorable enough. Some girls abuse this power of knowledge... we call them bitches. Although there are many bitches out there, there are the few rare ones that can make everything worth it.

Oh, and another hint... if you ever want lady attention again, never EVER compare a woman to food, especially fast food. Rock on, Daphne

January 28, 2008 GRAFFITI 9

SUB THEATER MOVIES Kelsey LaRoche - Campbell Hall As you look back at the last semester, you probably saw a lot of movies: Movie channel movies playing repeatedly (Chuck and Larry for the fourth time, anyone?), old movies borrowed from hallmates, and free movies watched on the internet. This semester, it’s time to upgrade your movie watching experience and head over to the movie theater! The Student Union Building has its very own movie theater and it is perfect for those of us looking for something cheap and fun to do. Bonus: You can get hall points by bringing a group from your hall! The movie theater is located on the second floor of the SUB in the Borah Theater. Tickets are only $2/student and $3/nonstudent. Movie showtimes are 7:00 and 9:30 pm. This coming weekend, February 1st-2nd, the theater is playing “Margot at the Wedding.” In this movie, Margot Zeller (Nicole Kidman) is a smart, razor-tongued short-story writer who creates chaos wherever she goes. She goes on a surprise trip, with her rapidly maturing son Claude, to the wedding of her estranged and free-spirited sister Pauline (Jennifer Jason Leigh).

From the minute Margot meets Pauline’s fiancé, the unemployed artist Malcolm (Jack Black), she plants the seeds of doubt about the wedding. With the wedding approaching, one complication crashes into the next: vengeful neighbors, a beloved tree in the backyard, and Margot’s own marital turmoil. The two sisters find themselves at the edge of an unexpected transformation and realize that when your family is about to implode, the one thing you can cling to for comfort is your imploding family. So this weekend, Friday and Saturday, bring your whole hall to the SUB and check out “Margot at the Wedding.” If you bring seven or more people, not only will you have an awesome time for a cheap price, but you will also be able to get hall points! For more information about upcoming movies, please contact [email protected] *synopsis and pictures courtesy of www.imbd.com

10 GRAFFITI January 28, 2008

Graffiti Literary Corner Jeremy Castillo - McConnell Hall WEARING WORDS

I was sitting in the shopping mall food court when a young brunette woman walked by. Her three, gargantuan, brown shopping bags yelled “HOLLISTER, HOLLISTER, HOLLISTER.”

Taylor Hasenpflug - McConnell Hall ODE TO THE E-BOARD

RHA’s president’s name’s Eric With a robe you’d think he’s a cleric He sits in the middle He’s as fit as a fiddle And some might consider him barbaric. Erin Morra’s a volunteer Especially when it involves beer. She appears a small girl As cute as a pearl And is always full of good cheer. There once was a VPMC named Dawn, She was one you wish you could pawn. She wrote the Graffiti Typed it up Neatly And when you read it, it ends with a yawn.

On her khaki-colored hat were the letters “G-AP” spaced out. She got up to get rid of her trash and leftovers and Her barely-there bicycle shorts said “HAW-AII” on the back The pink fabric across her chest said “Abercrombie” Why do people like wearing words? Labels are meant for soup cans We should be reading newspapers Not text on the fall fashion line What’s funny is, even though I remember the words, Every single stinking word that girl was wearing, I couldn’t tell you what she looked like at all, Guess I was too busy reading her wardrobe. DISCLAIMER: The content presented in this publication does not necessarily represent the views and opinions of the RHA. Due to the sensitive nature of these opinion articles, the Graffiti staff extends an open invitation for rebuttal from any reader, staff member, or student.

GRAFFITI STAFF Editor-in-Chief: Dawn Cooper ([email protected]) Associate Editors: Taylor Hasenpflug, Brandie Lyday, Tyler Mayfield Photo Credits: Paul Jorritsma, CNR House, Campbell Hall and www.imbd.com Special Thanks to: RHA E-Board, Neely Hall, Upham Hall, Campbell Hall, CNR House, Gem Hall, Stevenson Hall, McConnell Hall, Scholars Hall, McCoy Hall Join the GRAFFITI: Freedom of Speech Facebook group This edition of GRAFFITI is brought to you by Residence Hall students like you. Thank you for your support.

January 28, 2008 GRAFFITI 11