Copyright
By
C.
Patrick
Michels
2008
The
Long
Haul:
For
civilian
contractors
injured
in
Iraq,
the
real
fight
begins
after
coming
home.
Report
Presented
to
the
Faculty
of
the
Graduate
School
of
the
University
of
Texas
at
Austin
in
Partial
Fulfillment
of
the
Requirements
for
the
Degree
of
Master
of
Arts,
Journalism
The
University
of
Texas
at
Austin
December
2008
The
Report
committee
for
C
Patrick
Michels
Certifies
that
this
is
the
approved
version
of
the
following
report:
The
Long
Haul:
For
civilian
contractors
injured
in
Iraq,
the
real
fight
begins
after
coming
home.
APPROVED
BY
SUPERVISING
COMMITTEE
Supervisor:
_______________________________________________
Dennis
C.
Darling
________________________________________________
Cheryl
A.
Lehman
The
Long
Haul:
For
civilian
contractors
injured
in
Iraq,
the
real
fight
begins
after
coming
home.
by
C
Patrick
Michels,
MA
Journalism
The
University
of
Texas
at
Austin,
2008
Supervisor:
Dennis
C.
Darling
Former
civilian
contractors
injured
or
traumatized
while
working
in
Iraq
face
a
slew
of
challenges
when
they
return
home—physical
injuries
and
mental
ones,
along
with
unprecedented
legal
challenges
securing
benefits
from
an
overworked
support
system
of
federal
labor
courts
and
private
insurers.
Of
the
people
I
met,
the
vast
majority
were
former
truckers—the
most
risky
job
in
Iraq
after
security
contractors—but
my
project
also
includes
a
police
trainer
from
South
Dakota,
a
prison
warden
from
Las
Vegas,
and
an
air
conditioner
repairman
from
East
Texas.
Some
were
healing
well
from
physical
injuries;
some
continued
to
struggle
with
psychological
wounds
that
kept
them
out
of
work
and
wreaked
havoc
on
their
families.
Many
are
stuck
in
prolonged
battles
over
health
insurance
claims
that
could
easily
outlast
the
war
itself.
Nearly
everyone
I
spoke
with
worried
about
being
branded
a
war
profiteer
or
a
mercenary,
and
many
said
they
were
let
down
by
the
private
support
system
they’d
been
promised,
just
when
they
needed
it
most.
I
thank
the
UT
Documentary
Center
for
its
help
with
this
ongoing
project.
TABLE
OF
CONTENTS
I.
Introduction.
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.1
II.
Survey
of
Issues
Surrounding
Wounded
Contractors’
Care.
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3
III.
Contractor
Profiles.
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18
Preston
Wheeler
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19
Art
Faust
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35
Terry
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.40
David
Boiles.
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43
Russell
Skoug
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.45
Robert
Rowe
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48
Clyde
Nipper
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51
Fred
Gaus
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54
Eddie
Barker
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57
Wallace
McNabb
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60
Tate
Mallory.
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63
Clyde
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66
IV.
Appendix:
Selected
Interview
Transcripts
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V.
Bibliography.
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120
VI.
Vita.
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122
I.
Introduction
Why
risk
your
life
for
a
paycheck?
That’s
the
question
that
sparked
my
reporting
on
injured
civilian
contractors—maybe
not
too
profound,
and
certainly
it’s
a
question
you
could
ask
of
many
people
with
dangerous
jobs.
But
the
size
of
the
private
workforce
in
Iraq
is
proof
that
the
war
has
given
thousands
of
people—men
and
women
who’d
never
have
considered
such
dangerous
work—the
chance
to
weigh
such
a
decision.
Over
the
past
18
months,
my
reporting
on
injured
civilian
contractors
has
taken
countless
twists,
shown
me
intense
moments
in
the
lives
of
others,
and
hinted
at
vast
problems
in
the
systems
built
for
their
support.
Every
stop
I
made
in
a
new
city
was
a
new
lesson
in
how
people
cope.
Because
placing
blame
was
so
important
to
many
I
met,
I
heard
plenty
of
theories
about
how
the
deck
was
stacked
against
individual
workers;
how
company
culture
encouraged
cutthroat
behavior
in
Iraq;
and
how
depressing
it
was
to
discover
private
companies
dealt
no
more
generously
with
their
workers
back
home.
The
financial
and
moral
wrongdoing
swirling
around
our
early
reconstruction
efforts
in
Iraq
have
been
well
documented
‐‐
though
baffling
new
reports
on
those
first
few
“boomtown”
years
in
contracting
still
seem
to
break
every
month.
The
paper
trails
from
that
time
are
a
fascinating
study
in
collective
irresponsibility,
and
I
could
have
spent
this
much
time
just
reading
others’
work
and
trying
to
make
sense
of
the
fascinating
way
in
which
the
U.S.
government
and
its
private
contractors
have
spent
money
in
Iraq
since
2004.
Of
course,
that
would
make
a
lousy
photography
project,
and
it
would’ve
been
difficult
to
do
well
as
a
student
working
without
the
clout
of
a
news
1
organization
(though
some
independent
journalists
have
done
great
financial
and
political
reporting
on
private
contracting).
In
reporting
this
project,
I’ve
spoken
with
lawyers
and
judges,
physical
therapists
and
psychiatrists,
representatives
of
insurance
and
contracting
corporations,
workers’
rights
activists
and
reform‐ minded
lawmakers.
Those
conversations
all
inform
my
writing,
but
in
the
end
I
hope
my
project
succeeds
as
a
collection
of
personal
portraits,
written
and
photographed.
I
quickly
found
my
initial
question—why
risk
so
much
for
a
job?—didn’t
interest
contractors
very
much.
For
one,
I
often
heard
it
wasn’t
a
question
of
money
at
all—more
often,
people
told
me
patriotism,
family
or
adventure
were
the
reasons
they
went
to
Iraq.
Of
course,
they
often
said,
good
money
made
the
decision
easier.
For
contractors
who
worked
in
the
war’s
early
years,
they
weighed
the
risks
a
long
time
ago,
and
long
ago
had
settled
on
their
answer
to
the
“why”
question.
They’d
had
time
to
craft
an
answer
they
could
trust.
Not
one
contractor
I
spoke
with
told
me
they
felt
they’d
made
a
bad
decision
by
going.
Some
regretted
nothing
at
all,
and
were
looking
forward
to
going
back
to
work
at
the
war.
Most
said
they’d
been
cheated
or
lied
to
somewhere
along
the
way—they
regretted
signing
on
to
work
in
Iraq,
but
only
because
it
wasn’t
what
they’d
been
told.
A
second,
more
interesting
question
quickly
emerged
in
my
interviews:
now
that
you’re
back
home,
haunted
by
grisly
memories
or
physical
pain,
burdened
by
unpayable
bills
and
a
sense
of
injustice,
how
do
you
go
on?
The
answer
to
that
question
showed
in
how
the
injured
workers
chose
to
spend
their
days,
who
they
chose
to
blame,
how
they
spoke
to
their
wives
and
family,
what
they
wrote,
what
made
them
laugh,
and
how
they
looked
into
a
camera,
isolated
in
the
frame.
2
II.
Survey
of
Issues
Surrounding
Wounded
Contractors’
Care
Contracting
in
the
Iraq
War:
Overview
Going
back
all
the
way
to
the
Revolutionary
War,
the
United
States
has
supplemented
its
military
forces
with
private
contracted
labor.i
At
times,
those
private
contractors
have
included
mercenaries
hired
to
fight,
but
far
more
often
the
private
contractors
are
simply
hired
for
logistical
support:
runway
construction,
detailed
scientific
work
or
laundry
service
for
the
troops—jobs
seen
as
either
too
menial
or
too
skilled
for
soldiers.
Since
the
U.S.
invasion
of
Iraq
in
2003,
this
country
has
used
more
civilian
contractors
than
ever
before,
a
continuation
of
the
growth
in
private
contracting
during
the
Balkan
crisis
in
the
1990s.ii
A
March
2008
report
by
the
Government
Accountability
Office
included
a
count
of
163,950
private
contractors
working
in
Iraqiii;
an
October
2008
report
by
the
New
America
Foundation,
which
included
extensive
surveys
and
research
in
the
public
and
private
sector,
put
the
number
closer
to
190,000.
A
study
by
the
Houston
Chronicle,
drawing
on
Department
of
Labor
and
iCasualties.org
statistics,
along
with
other
research,
put
the
total
death
toll
for
civilian
contractors
(of
all
nationalities)
at
1,123—about
one
quarter
the
number
of
American
troops
killed
in
Iraq.
The
most
vivid,
familiar
images
of
private
contracting
to
most
Americans
are
the
well‐armed
Blackwater
commandos
of
the
private
security
realm,
or
the
executives
at
Halliburton
and
much
smaller
subcontractors
who
make
headlines
for
their
wasteful
spending,
shoddy
work
and
dishonest
billing
practices.
To
stop
there,
however,
is
to
grossly
misrepresent
the
face
of
private
contracting
in
Iraq.
The
security
contractors
in
Iraq
today,
12,258
by
one
recent
3
count,iv
make
up
a
small
fraction
of
the
total
private
workforce
supporting
the
U.S.
mission
there;
executives
making
deals,
both
honest
and
crooked,
are
even
fewer.
Most
are
workers
hired
because
they
have
the
basic
skills
and
experience
that
fit
the
logistical
demands
of
one
country
trying
to
rebuild
another:
mechanics,
cooks
and
truckers.
In
exchange
for
risking
their
lives
to
be
in
Iraq,
contractors
are
well
paid
for
their
work,
almost
always
better
than
their
previous
jobs
and
better
than
any
job
they
could
return
to
back
home.
For
those
who
avoid
injury,
it’s
lucrative
work,
and
many
opt
back
in
for
second
and
third
years
abroad.
Injured
contractors,
however,
tend
to
return
home
worse
off
than
they
left— physically,
of
course,
but
also
mentally
and
financially.
While
support
networks
have
been
in
place
for
decades,
the
sheer
number
of
contractors
coming
home
injured
is
straining
the
system,
creating
slowdowns
in
vital
insurance
and
workers’
compensation
processes
these
men
and
women
depend
on.
The
public
and
private
support
systems
have
matured
considerably
since
the
war
began
more
than
five
years
ago,
but
the
legal
battles
will
continue
long
past
the
war’s
eventual
conclusion.
As
U.S.
forces
look
increasingly
toward
Afghanistan,
and
the
military
contracts
targeted
there
increase
accordingly,
there
are
still
serious
questions
about
the
state
of
the
support
for
private
contractors.
Even
with
the
best
legal
and
medical
support,
in
a
system
working
just
the
way
it
was
designed,
injured
civilian
contractors
often
struggle
to
move
on
with
their
lives,
surrounded
by
others
who
misunderstand
their
role
in
the
war,
still
clinging
to
the
adventures
and
disasters
of
the
life
they
once
had,
half
a
world
away.
4
Who
are
the
contractors,
and
how
do
they
end
up
in
Iraq?
Sprawling
American
outposts
like
Camp
Anaconda,
north
of
Baghdad
near
Balad,
take
the
kind
of
workers
that
might
be
required
by
a
massive
hospitality
operation,
an
enormous
cruise
ship
at
port
in
the
desert.
Cooks,
janitors
and
maids,
doctors,
IT
experts
and
mechanics
are
as
necessary
there
as
in
any
community
with
limited
access
to
the
world
outside
its
walls.
Of
the
contractors
in
Iraq
today,
44
percent
work
in
these
sorts
of
base
support
operations.
12
percent
more
work
in
construction,
building
and
rebuilding
Iraqi
infrastructure
like
schools
and
hospitals,
and
new
American
outposts.v
Transportation
accounts
for
another
large
chunk
of
the
U.S.‐funded
workforce
in
Iraq,
with
so
many
truckers
required
for
hauling
supplies,
mail
and
equipment
along
often‐dangerous
Iraqi
roads.
Whatever
the
field,
the
employment
opportunities
in
Iraq
are
high‐profile,
both
because
of
the
exotic
location
and
the
chance
at
far
greater
income.
While
leading
companies
like
KBR,
Inc.,
Dyncorp
and
Fluor—by
far
the
leading
private
employers
in
Iraqvi—recruit
at
job
fairs
nationwide,
word
of
mouth
is
an
efficient
recruiting
tool.
Formal
job
postings
and
casual
conversation
on
online
bulletin
boards
are
also
gateways
to
private
sector
work
in
Iraq.
Iraqi
workers
and
so‐called
“third‐country
nationals,”
or
TCNs,
account
for
a
large
percentage
of
the
private
sector
in
Iraq,
with
large
groups
of
workers
often
imported
wholesale
for
specific
jobs.
Uganda
and
Nepal
are
well
represented
in
the
security
contracting
field;
many
chefs
are
from
India;
and
even
after
the
Philippine
government
banned
its
people
from
working
in
Iraq
in
2005,
Filipinos
sneak
over
illegally
to
continue
working
the
custodial
jobs.
Increasingly,
Iraqi
truckers
are
being
hired
to
drive
in
supply
convoys.vii
While
this
work
is
just
as
dangerous
for
an
5
Iraqi
as
an
American,
their
wages
are
far
lower
and
their
equipment
often
in
worse
condition.viii
Americans
working
in
Iraq
come
from
across
the
United
States,
but—as
is
the
case
with
military
enlistment—rural
parts
of
the
American
South
and
Midwest
are
more
heavily
represented
than
urban
centers
along
the
coasts.ix
The
trucking
and
oil
field
hub
of
Houston,
home
to
Halliburton
and
KBR,
is
especially
well
represented.
Many
contractors,
especially
truckers,
come
to
Iraq
with
military
backgrounds,
though
likely
non‐combat
Cold
War
experience.
Most
are
men,
especially
in
the
security,
transportation
and
construction
fields,
though
women
are
well
represented
in
on‐base
jobs.
When
I
asked
contractors
why
they
went
to
Iraq,
they
always
had
a
well‐
rehearsed
answer
ready.
The
good
pay
is
usually
somewhere
in
their
list
of
reasons—but
it’s
a
touchy
subject
because
contractors
are
often
labeled
“war
profiteers”
once
they
return.
Many
I
spoke
with
compared
themselves
to
soldiers
who
received
cold
welcomes
after
coming
home
from
Vietnam.
Many
insist
that
the
money
was
a
factor
in
their
decision
to
go,
but
that
they
wouldn’t
have
done
the
work
for
the
money
alone.
“Troop
support”x
and
similar
patriotic
reasons
are
common,
especially
among
ex‐military
workers.
Many
truckers
working
in
Iraq
are
in
their
50s
and
60s;
the
stint
in
Iraq
was
meant
as
a
springboard
to
a
comfortable
retirement,
mortgage
payment,
or
escape
from
other
debt.
Because
it
is
such
a
dramatic
change,
the
decision
to
work
in
Iraq
is
often
a
symbolic
one—an
escape
from
a
low‐paying
or
dead‐end
job,
an
oppressive
boss
or
even
a
messy
divorce.
Like
almost
everything
else
in
the
private
sector
in
Iraq,
hiring,
training
and
deployment
procedures
vary
from
one
company
to
another.
Because
so
many
of
my
interviews
were
with
former
KBR
truck
drivers,
I
am
best
acquainted
with
their
procedure.
New
recruits
are
processed
in
Houston,
at
a
KBR
facility
in
a
former
6
department
store
in
Greenspoint
Mall.
Paperwork,
salary
details
and
basic
training
with
chemical
suits
are
all
handled
over
the
course
of
a
week
here,
with
recruits
bused
back
and
forth
each
day
between
the
mall
and
a
nearby
hotel.
As
recently
as
2005,
the
week
began
with
a
lengthy
personality
test,
after
which
many
of
the
recruits
were
told
they
could
leave.
The
questions
were
designed
to
flag
anyone
likely
to
question
authority
or
avoid
conforming.xi
Recruits
stay
at
the
hotel
in
Houston
after
that
week,
returning
to
the
mall
each
morning
in
case
their
name
has
been
pulled
for
departure
that
day—a
process
that
can
take
another
week
or
two.
From
there,
new
employees
fly
through
Europe,
stop
for
a
night
or
two
in
Dubai,
then
fly
into
Baghdad,
and
north
to
Camp
Anaconda
near
the
town
of
Balad.
There,
workers
get
acclimated
and
prepare
for
more
specific
work
assignments
(flatbed
trucks,
refrigerated
trucks,
heavy
equipment
haulers
and
even
on‐base
driving
assignments
are
all
possibilities
to
this
point).
Truckers
I
spoke
with
often
commented
on
how
many
recruits
turned
right
around
as
soon
as
the
plane
landed
in
Anaconda.
These,
they
told
me,
were
the
guys
who
came
strictly
for
the
money.
Risks
in
Iraq
Small‐arms
fire,
improvised
explosive
devices
(IEDs)
and
rocket‐propelled
grenades
(RPGs)
take
the
greatest
toll
on
truckers
whose
convoys
are
attacked
on
runs
between
bases.
The
same
is
true
for
security
contractors,
and
any
others
whose
work
often
takes
them
“outside
the
wire”
and
away
from
the
relative
safety
of
the
U.S.
bases.
Inside
the
wire,
mortar
attacks
are
the
most
prevalent
danger
from
outside
attackersxii.
Driving
trucks,
loading
equipment
and
handling
repairs
are
demanding
jobs
to
begin
with,
and
the
extreme
pace
and
harsh
surroundings
make
on‐the‐job
injury
7
much
more
likely
than
in
the
relative
calm
of
the
U.S.
Sprained
ankles
and
on‐the‐job
back
injuries
happen
even
under
the
best
circumstances,
and
some
of
the
injured
contractors
I
spoke
with
said
they
were
struggling
with
workers’
compensation
claim
disputes
precisely
because
their
injuries
were
tougher
to
prove
than
more
obvious
gunshot
or
shrapnel
wounds.
Those
physical
dangers
are
what
most
contractors
told
me
they’d
taken
into
account
before
leaving,
but
none
of
them
told
me
they
were
prepared
for
the
psychological
damage
they
suffered.
Security
contractors
run
into
many
of
the
same
traumatic
experiences
as
soldiers
in
Iraq
–
but
so
do
truckers,
who
regularly
venture
outside
the
wire
and
into
combat
situations.
Though
they
are
unarmed,
drivers
often
come
across
grisly
scenes
in
the
aftermath
of
firefights.
Two
drivers,
Robert
Rowe
and
Preston
Wheeler,
mentioned
times
when
they
believe
it’s
likely
they
killed
or
seriously
injured
people
in
the
road,
just
by
following
the
driving
techniques
required
to
protect
their
convoy.
Iraq
is
a
minefield
in
a
physical
sense
and
in
a
more
vague
psychological
sense.
Workers
headed
into
the
war
zone
may
come
to
terms
with
the
dangers
they
understand
–
like
getting
shot
–
but
can
still
be
wholly
unprepared
for
the
psychological
trauma
they’ll
face.
Legal
Safeguards
Just
like
workers
in
the
United
States,
contractors
of
all
nationalities
working
for
U.S.
military
missions
abroad
are
protected
by
a
comprehensive
safety
net
in
case
they’re
injured
on
the
job.
That’s
the
idea,
anyway.
In
practice,
the
number
of
workers
has
strained
that
safety
net,
forcing
some
to
wait
years
on
claims
decisions
for
time‐sensitive
medical
8
care,
and
adding
to
workers’
feelings
of
abandonment
and
isolation
after
they
return.
Everyone
working
abroad
in
support
of
a
U.S.
military
mission
is
protected
under
the
Defense
Base
Act
(DBA),
a
World
War
II‐era
law
that
covers
workers’
compensation
and
health
insurance
benefits.
The
DBA
is
administered
by
the
Department
of
Labor
(DOL),
which
receives
the
claims
from
individuals
injured
abroad.
Because
it’s
up
to
the
worker
to
file
a
claim
with
the
DOL,
and
because
many
never
hear
about
the
law
–
particularly
those
injured
early
in
the
war,
and
non‐U.S.
citizens
working
under
subcontracts
–
many
never
get
the
help
to
which
they’re
entitled.
That’s
also
why
an
accurate
count
of
those
injured
in
Iraq
is
so
hard
to
come
by.
The
DBA
covers
the
sort
of
workplace
injuries
that
could
happen
anywhere,
whether
Iraq
or
Ohio.
Any
company
that
hires
workers
in
Iraq
must
first
secure
their
DBA
health
insurance.
For
contractors
injured
as
a
direct
result
of
enemy
fire,
the
War
Hazards
Compensation
Act
provides
health
coverage
and
injury
compensation.
One
notable
(and
admittedly
complex)
distinction
between
the
WHCA
and
the
DBA
is
the
claim
dispute
process.
Under
the
WHCA,
the
U.S.
government
ultimately
covers
the
cost
of
a
worker’s
health
care
after
the
private
health
insurance
company
sends
them
the
bill.
This
can
include
legal
costs
associated
with
disputing
a
worker’s
claim
–
and
in
those
cases,
the
insurer
can
bill
the
government
for
damages
awarded
and
legal
fees,
plus
an
additional
15
percent
to
cover
their
administrative
costs.
While
that
limits
the
risk
private
insurers
take
on,
it
also
eliminates
any
incentive
they
may
have
had
to
resolve
a
dispute
quickly
or
out
of
9
court.
In
effect,
the
longer
a
WHCA
claim
stays
in
court,
the
more
insurance
companies
make.
In
general,
WHCA
claims
tend
to
be
more
clear‐cut,
because
gunshot
and
shrapnel
wounds
are
fairly
obvious
and
tend
to
be
well
witnessed
and
documented
by
the
military.
DBA
claims
can
be
much
harder
to
prove.
David
Boiles,
a
trucker
from
Conroe,
Texas,
suffered
back
injuries
when
his
truck
slid
off
a
poorly
paved
Iraqi
highway.
A
loose
pane
of
bulletproof
glass
sent
trucker
Eddie
Barker
home
to
Maryland
with
a
neck
injury.
Soft
tissue
injuries
suffered
abroad
are
as
complex
as
in
the
U.S.;
these
are
the
claims
most
likely
to
be
disputed
and
end
up
before
a
judge.
Psychological
claims
are
fraught
with
the
same
problems
as
other
hard‐to‐
prove
injuries,
and
are
disputed
particularly
often.
A
small
number
of
companies
provide
health
insurance
for
most
of
the
workers
in
Iraqxiii.
The
largest
insurer
is
American
International
Group,
Inc.
(AIG),
which
provides
coverage
for
KBR’s
workers,
among
others.
A
2008
investigation
by
the
House
Oversight
Committee,
led
by
California
Rep.
Henry
Waxman,
criticized
the
way
the
Department
of
Defense
handles
its
choice
of
DBA
insurance
companies
–
in
particular,
AIG’s
performance
with
its
contracts.
While
the
State
Department
and
the
Army
Corps
of
Engineers
choose
their
DBA
insurance
providers
in
a
bidding
process,
the
Defense
Department
leaves
that
choice
up
to
individual
contracting
companies.
By
this
process,
AIG
has
emerged
as
one
of
the
major
DBA
insurance
providers.
Records
show,
though,
that
AIG
has
paid
out
far
less
in
benefits
(per
worker)
than
other
DBA
insurance
providers.
While
the
DBA
and
WHCA
provide
generous
benefits,
contractors
complain
their
claims
are
disputed
too
often,
and
that
the
claims
process
drags
on
far
too
long.
Claims
disputes
are
arbitrated
by
Department
of
Labor
administrative
judges,
and
these
lengthy
legal
processes
often
take
place
while
workers
are
injured
and
unable
10
to
work—legal
delays
bring
them
closer
to
desperation,
and
more
likely
to
settle
their
claims
for
less
money
than
they
would
get
if
awarded
monthly
disability
payments.
Other
Support
Networks
and
Reform
Advocates
Many
former
KBR
contractors
told
me
they
never
heard
from
KBR
after
their
injuries,
except
for
a
brief
letter
weeks
later,
telling
them
they’d
been
fired
for
failing
to
show
up
to
work.
Some
got
this
same
letter
more
than
once.
The
sudden
loss
of
a
community
of
co‐workers,
or
an
organization
to
belong
to,
is
one
of
the
most
jarring
changes
injured
contractors
face
when
they
come
home.
Robert
Rowe,
a
former
KBR
trucker
without
a
wife
and
family
to
return
to,
spoke
most
passionately
about
the
feeling
of
abandonment
he
felt
when
he
got
back,
and
his
deep
resentment
for
the
company
that
he
says
left
him
behind.
To
fill
this
void
and
protect
their
own
interests,
some
contractors
have
banded
together
around
the
Web
site
americancontractorsiniraq.com—a
site
founded
by
Jana
Crowder,
the
wife
of
a
Bechtel
engineer
in
Iraq.
It’s
the
largest
community
of
injured
contractors,
providing
injured
workers
with
a
sense
of
community
and
resources
to
help
them
secure
medical,
psychological
and
legal
help.
Through
this
site
and
on
their
own,
many
contractors
have
enlisted
Houston
attorney
Gary
Pitts
to
guide
them
through
DBA
claims.
Pitts
represents
hundreds
of
injured
contractors,
and
while
detractors
say
he’s
turned
these
cases
into
“a
cottage
industry”xiv
for
his
practice,
he
is
one
of
just
a
few
lawyers
well
versed
in
DBA
law
who
will
take
many
of
these
cases.
Union
Treatment
Centers
in
Austin,
Texas,
is
another
resource
that
serves
injured
contractors.
Under
its
founder
Dr.
Garry
Craighead,
the
workplace
injury
rehab
center
has
offered
free
MRIs,
MMPI‐2
psychological
screenings
and
other
diagnostic
tests
to
help
contractors
make
their
case
before
a
judge.
Craighead
began
11
working
with
contractors
in
late
2007,
paying
up‐front
for
their
travel
and
hotel
costs
and
billing
the
contractor’s
insurance
carrier.
The
greatest
potential
for
systemic
change
in
the
handling
of
civilian
contractors
comes
from
the
U.S.
Congress,
where
lawmakers
investigating
various
aspects
of
the
Iraq
war
have
seized
on
a
variety
of
contracting
practices—from
the
use
of
private
security
forces
to
contract
procurement
policies—and
noted
insurance
appeals
and
mental
health
care
as
areas
where
change
is
needed.
Still,
the
evidence
that
there’s
a
problem
in
the
contractors’
safety
net
is
only
anecdotal— tougher
to
document
than
issues
with,
say,
contracting
budgets—making
it
tougher
for
lawmakers
to
write
reform
legislation.
PostTraumatic
Stress
Disorder
in
Civilian
Contractors
Post‐traumatic
stress
in
troops
returning
home
has
been
the
subject
of
major
media
coverage
in
the
last
few
years.
While
there’s
still
much
improvement
necessary
in
the
screening
and
treatment
of
soldiers,
the
Army
has
made
great
progress
since
the
war
beganxv.
Less
attention
has
been
paid
to
PTSD
among
private‐sector
workers
in
Iraq—
particularly
when
it
comes
to
their
ability
to
secure
treatment
for
their
psychological
wounds.
In
general,
the
same
groups
of
contractors
that
face
the
greatest
physical
risk—truckers,
interpreters
and
private
security—are
the
ones
at
the
greatest
risk
for
PTSD.
Former
KBR
employees
told
me
they
never
received
a
debriefing
or
screening
after
working
in
Iraq,
and
two
DynCorp
workers
told
me
their
company
issued
a
brief
questionnaire
that
touched
on
PTSD
just
by
asking
if
they
felt
at
risk
of
committing
suicide.
12
Private
health
insurance
through
the
DBA
does
cover
psychological
treatment,
but
with
no
screening
process
before
they
return—and
with
PTSD
symptoms
likely
to
surface
well
after
a
worker’s
return—it’s
often
tough
for
a
worker,
or
even
their
family,
to
spot
the
symptoms
of
PTSD
and
convince
them
to
seek
help.
Those
symptoms
include
flashbacks
to
wartime
experiences,
but
also
mood
swings,
aloofness,
jumpiness
and
trouble
sleeping.
Truckers
who’d
been
injured
while
driving
said
getting
back
behind
the
wheel
was
particularly
difficult,
and
that
they
struggled
to
drive
normally
in
the
U.S.
after
operating
for
so
long
under
different
road
rules
in
Iraq.
I
found
it
particularly
interesting
that
the
truckers
who
complained
of
PTSD
symptoms
said
their
flashbacks
weren’t
just
related
to
the
moment
of
the
injury
that
sent
them
home.
Workers
told
me
they
had
flashbacks
of
any
number
of
traumatic
moments—some
related
to
their
injury,
but
many
just
related
to
things
they
saw
while
driving
through
Iraq
on
convoys.
Preston
Wheeler,
who
suffered
one
of
the
most
traumatic
experiences
of
anyone
I
spoke
with
(two
truckers
were
executed
in
front
of
Wheeler,
and
the
attackers
were
headed
his
way
when
U.S.
helicopters
arrived)
told
me
of
another
experience
that
troubled
him
even
more:
the
night
when,
in
order
to
keep
the
convoy
line
secure,
he
prevented
a
car
from
cutting
in
front
of
him
as
it
tried
to
pass
on
the
highway
shoulder.
The
car,
unable
to
slow
down
or
get
back
onto
the
road,
crashed
into
a
stalled
truck
on
the
shoulder.
Wheeler
never
found
out
what
happened
to
the
driver.
Darrin
Hays,
a
prison
warden
in
Iraq
whose
tour
included
stints
at
Abu
Ghraib,
left
Iraq
with
neck
and
back
injuries,
not
because
of
an
insurgent
attack.
Still,
back
at
home
he
says
he’s
troubled
by
memories
of
what
he
did
in
the
course
of
his
job—the
prisoners
he
killed
while
they
were
trying
to
escape
and
attack
their
guards.
“You
hate
them
for
what
they
make
you
do,”
he
told
me.
13
These
stories
suggest
that
PTSD
in
civilian
contractors
isn’t
strictly
limited
to
those
who
suffered
debilitating
injuries
or
were
directly
attacked.
As
studies
with
soldiers
have
suggested,
it’s
often
memories
of
the
pain
they
inflicted
on
others,
or
just
the
grisly
things
they
saw,
that
can
produce
PTSD
symptoms.
Even
contractors
who
return
home
otherwise
healthy
are
at
risk
for
PTSD.
While
PTSD
treatment
is
covered
by
the
health
insurance
benefits
available
to
injured
contractors,
these
types
of
claims
are
some
of
the
most
frequently
disputed.
With
no
telltale
physical
signs
of
illness,
diagnosis
is
still
an
imperfect
procedure— particularly
when
it
comes
to
providing
the
solid
documentation
that
will
hold
up
in
court.
One
tool
frequently
used
for
documenting
PTSD
in
a
patient
is
the
Minnesota
Multiphasic
Personality
Inventory‐2,
or
MMPI‐2,
a
set
of
567
questions
designed
to
reveal
key
signs
of
mental
disorders.
Another
common
tool
is
the
Fake
Bad
Scale
(FBS),
also
known
as
the
MMPI
‐2
Symptom
Validity
Scale,
a
tool
introduced
by
Lees‐Haley,
English
and
Glenn
in
1991xvi.
The
FBS
is
a
diagnostic
tool
that
tests
for
signs
that
a
patient
is,
in
fact,
faking
their
illness.
In
the
effort
to
pinpoint
some
physical
manifestation
of
PTSD,
some
studies
have
suggested
low
levels
of
cortisol
in
a
patient’s
blood
may
be
a
sign
of
the
illness,
though
the
merits
of
this
claim
are
particularly
shaky,
as
one
recent
survey
from
the
University
of
Amsterdam
points
outxvii.
Experts
say
the
fake
bad
scale
is
problematic,
however,
because
legitimately
ill
patients
answering
honestly
still
often
come
out
as
“fakers”
on
the
test.
Testing
for
cortisol
as
a
sign
of
PTSD
is
problematic
as
well,
one
study
points
out,
because
it
is
far
too
inconsistent
as
an
indicator.
Worst
of
all,
say
injured
contractors,
is
the
use
of
medical
experts
hired
to
appear
in
court
on
AIG’s
behalf.
John
Griffith,
an
East
Texas
psychiatrist,
has
testified
in
a
number
of
cases
over
the
last
two
years.
Former
14
KBR
trucker
Art
Faust,
sitting
in
on
another
worker’s
hearing,
said
the
doctor’s
testimony
made
light
of
PTSD
symptoms
and
raised
basic
questions
about
the
legitimacy
of
the
disease,
rather
than
raising
questions
related
to
the
individual
making
a
claim
for
treatment.
The
MMPI‐2
diagnostic
is
just
one
possible
way
to
help
document
a
PTSD
diagnosis,
but
it’s
important
to
keep
in
mind
that
ultimately,
PTSD
is
a
self‐reported
illness.
With
minimal
screening
at
the
time
contractors
return,
and
especially
months
later,
after
new
symptoms
are
likely
to
surface,
it’s
left
entirely
up
to
contractors
themselves,
and
their
families,
to
seek
help.
According
to
a
fact
sheet
from
the
Department
of
Veterans
Affairs
(VA)
Web
site:
Proper
assessment
of
PTSD
is
complex,
and
in
a
forensic
setting,
it
should
include
substantial
attention
to
corroboration
of
self‐ reports
through
a
records
review
and
collateral
information.
The
ability
to
evaluate
these
assessments
can
be
very
helpful
for
those
involved
in
the
legal
system.xviii
The
VA
lists
a
few
categories
of
PTSD
symptoms
to
help
with
diagnosis:
“reexperiencing
[of
traumatic
events],
avoidance/numbing
[in
relations
with
others],
and
increased
arousal,”
and
emphasizes
that
for
a
diagnosis
of
PTSD,
the
patient’s
symptoms
not
all
be
in
one
of
these
categories.
Other
tools
the
VA
reports
as
valid
for
establishing
a
PTSD
diagnosis
include
the
Clinician
Administered
PTSD
Scale
and
the
PTSD
Symptom
Checklist.
Another
aspect
of
the
illness,
the
VA
points
out,
is
a
decline
in
a
patient’s
ability
to
function
after
their
traumatic
experience—it
should
be
clear,
in
other
words,
that
a
patient’s
school
or
work
performance
has
declined,
or
that
they’re
worse
off
taking
care
of
themselves
or
interacting
with
others.
The
symptoms
must
also
persist
beyond
30
days.
Along
with
PTSD,
other
disorders
including
substance
dependence,
suicidal
tendencies,
depression,
and
anxiety
are
common
dual
diagnoses.
One
study
of
15
Vietnam
veterans
with
combat‐related
PTSD
found
that
91%
of
them
struggled
with
substance
abuse
problems
as
well.xix
Of
the
contractors
receiving
psychiatric
care
for
PTSD,
some
of
the
most
enthusiastic
about
their
progress
have
been
engaged
in
a
treatment
called
Eye
Movement
Desensitization
and
Reprocessing,
or
EMDR.
The
treatment,
which
has
also
been
used
in
treating
soldiers
with
PTSD,
involves
stimulating
connections
between
the
left
and
right
side
of
the
brain,
by
provoking
side‐to‐side
eye
movement,
having
patients
listen
to
music
that
drifts
from
one
ear
to
the
other,
or
other
side‐to‐side
activity.
Since
its
first
published
efficacy
study
in
1989,
EMDR
has
been
used
in
the
treatment
of
a
variety
of
traumatic
experiences,
and
according
to
its
developer
Francine
Shapiro,
it
has
been
subjected
to
more
critical
studies
than
any
other
trauma
treatment
strategy.xx
Garry
Craighead
has
used
EMDR
in
treating
contractors
at
his
clinic
in
Austin,
and
former
KBR
trucker
Terry
Steward
was
enthusiastic
during
our
interview
about
the
progress
he’s
seen
since
he
began
EMDR
in
early
2008
near
his
home
in
Idaho.
While
former
KBR
trucker
Art
Faust’s
psychiatric
care
was
covered
by
AIG,
he
says
he
was
unhappy
with
the
treatment
he
received
from
the
insurer‐approved
psychiatrists
he
was
offered.
Instead,
Faust
paid
for
his
own
EMDR
therapy
in
Houston
through
another
doctor.
EMDR
seems
to
be
one
of
the
most
encouraging
new
areas
in
the
treatment
of
PTSD,
but
the
selectiveness
of
its
availability
is
a
particular
concern.
Some
workers
say
their
insurance
company
has
picked
up
the
cost
of
EMDR
therapy;
some
say
some
psychiatric
care
has
been
covered,
but
not
EMDR;
and
some
feel
slighted
by
their
treatment
in
the
official
diagnosis
and
claims
dispute
process.
If
nothing
else,
my
interviews
suggested
troubling
disparity
in
the
way
psychiatric
coverage
is
determined.
16
Future
of
contracting
jobs
As
the
U.S.
draws
down
its
presence
in
Iraq,
there
are
fewer
jobs
in
contracting
and
less
money
being
spent
in
the
private
sector
there.
In
summer
2008,
media
reports
pointed
out
new
contracts
springing
up
in
Afghanistan,
presumably
signaling
an
increased
U.S.
presence
there
in
the
near
future.
(As
of
March
2008,
about
40,000
contractors
were
working
for
the
U.S.
military
in
Afghanistan.)
More
recently,
though,
defense
contractor
representatives
at
one
major
trade
show
said
they
expected
less
government
money
headed
their
way
in
the
coming
years,
thanks
to
the
economic
downturn.
Another
major
question
is
how
the
Obama
administration’s
approach
to
private
contractors
will
differ
from
the
Bush
administration’s.
On
the
campaign
trail,
Obama
suggested
he’d
scale
back
the
role
of
private
security
contractors
like
Blackwater,
and
that
he’d
beef
up
oversight
of
the
process
by
which
defense
contracts
are
awarded.
Obama
has
not
given
any
indication,
however,
of
breaking
with
the
current
policy
when
it
comes
to
base
operations,
construction
or
transportation.
Blackwater’s
drawdown
in
Iraq
–
and
its
refocusing
on
global
operations
–
is
a
trend
other
companies
are
likely
to
follow.
The
longer
the
U.S.
economy
continues
to
struggle,
the
more
likely
people
here
are
to
seek
higher‐paying
work
as
civilian
contractors
in
foreign
wars.
Whether
in
Iraq,
Afghanistan,
or
another
global
conflict,
there
will
be
work
for
many,
and
some
will
come
home
injured,
needing
help.
17
III.
Contractor
Profiles
18
“I
can
live
with
the
physical
part,
the
injuries.
But
I
would
give
it
all
back
to
not
have
the
memories.”
Preston
Wheeler,
40
Trucker,
KBR
Worked
in
Iraq
April‐September
2005
Gunshots,
PTSD
after
attack
on
truck
convoy
19
Preston
Wheeler
woke
up
disoriented
in
a
ditch
along
U.S.
Highway
71
in
western
Arkansas.
Gradually,
it
came
back
to
him:
the
18‐wheeler
passing
on
the
two‐lane
road,
the
sharp
pop,
the
cloud
of
dust
from
a
blown
rear
tire.
The
flashback
came
as
he
veered
right
to
avoid
the
blowout’s
debris.
As
his
car
left
the
asphalt,
a
scene
replayed:
Preston
was
back
on
a
dead‐end
road
in
Ad
Duluiyah,
north
of
Baghdad,
trapped
behind
a
flipped
tractor‐trailer.
Four
gunmen
coaxed
a
fellow
driver
out
of
the
truck
ahead
of
his
in
the
convoy.
He
heard
the
shots
as
the
men
executed
the
driver
in
the
street.
Their
white
pants
flapped
in
the
wind,
the
road
behind
them
streaked
with
blood.
Preston
regained
consciousness
alone
in
his
Chevy
Cavalier.
His
psychiatrist
had
warned
him
against
returning
to
his
job
as
a
driver
on
the
open
road.
So
instead,
he
drove
semitrailers
in
circles
around
a
Tyson
Foods
Inc.
lot,
hauling
live
chickens
to
the
slaughterhouse—100,000
a
day.
It
wasn’t
supposed
to
be
like
this.
He,
of
all
people,
should
have
known.
The
U.S.
employs
more
civilian
contractors
than
soldiers
in
Iraq.
Preston’s
former
employer,
Houston‐based
KBR
Inc.,
formerly
a
subsidiary
of
Halliburton
Co.,
is
the
largest
company
operating
there.
During
five
years
of
war,
the
Army
and
some
contractors
have
improved
the
ways
they
detect
and
treat
post‐traumatic
stress
disorder.
KBR
has
not,
according
to
its
wounded
employees.
KBR’s
screening
procedure
is
left
to
on‐site
counselors
who
identify
employees
who’ve
faced
trauma,
rather
than
a
routine
screening
for
all
workers
when
they
return
home.
Workers
20
often
have
to
recognize
their
own
symptoms
and
request,
or
sometimes
fight
for,
treatment
through
the
company’s
insurance
carrier.
“When
employees/former
employees
contact
KBR,
the
company
assists
them
in
making
a
claim,”
says
Heather
Browne,
a
KBR
spokesperson.
Many
civilian
contract
employees
come
from
East
Texas
and
neighboring
states
like
Arkansas,
the
result
of
recruiting
in
dead‐end
towns.
A
job
in
Iraq
that
triples
your
current
pay
doesn’t
look
so
bad
when
you’re
in
debt
even
after
a
long,
hard
year
of
trucking
at
home.
Preston
had
a
simple
dream:
He
wanted
to
build
his
own
house
in
the
woods
near
his
hometown
of
Wickes,
Arkansas.
Given
the
local
economy,
it
was
more
fantasy
than
plan.
Sometimes
you
have
to
leave
your
hometown
for
a
job;
he
knew
that.
Tired
of
chasing
oil,
cement,
and
trucking
jobs,
he
hoped
a
year
or
two
in
Iraq
would
be
his
shortcut
to
a
new
home,
a
clear
credit
record,
and
enough
money
to
support
his
son.
“’Round
here,
you
either
got
something
or
you
don’t,”
Preston
says,
driving
through
Wickes.
“Most
people
are
content
as
they
can
be
with
the
way
their
life
is.”
With
the
local
logging
industry
running
on
machines
instead
of
manpower,
the
Tyson
plant
is
the
only
major
employer
left.
It
was
a
cold
day
last
January,
and
Preston,
who’d
just
turned
40,
wore
a
green
Carhartt
jacket
and
a
camouflage
hat.
He
sat
behind
the
wheel
of
his
girlfriend
Kellie’s
truck
while
she
and
her
kids,
Sierra
and
Allan
(all
but
Kellie
call
him
Bubba),
rode
in
the
back.
Preston
is
of
medium
height
and
average
build—a
few
dozen
pounds
lighter,
he
says,
since
he
quit
drinking
a
few
months
earlier.
He
drove
past
the
Wickes
housing
project,
a
long
row
of
structures
tucked
behind
a
thin
stand
of
pines,
where
he
lived
when
he
was
young.
Older
cars
shared
the
front
yard
with
lawn
mower
parts
and
mud‐covered
toys.
“I
guarantee
you,
if
my
dad
knew
I
went
to
Iraq,
he
would
flip
plumb
out,”
Preston
says.
21
The
year
before
Preston
was
born,
his
dad
came
back
from
Vietnam
missing
both
his
legs.
Wayne
Wheeler
was
with
the
Marines
in
1966
when
he
stepped
on
a
land
mine
in
Da
Nang.
When
he
returned,
he
was
sullen,
often
drunk,
and
prone
to
fits
of
rage
at
home.
Over
a
few
years,
Preston’s
mother,
Yvonne,
realized
she
had
a
painful
decision
to
make—tougher
still
with
four
children
and
no
job
of
her
own.
“Daddy
was
real
abusive,”
Preston
says.
“I
don’t
really
remember
them
breaking
up.
I
just
remember
we
moved.”
Yvonne
remarried
and
moved
to
Texarkana.
Preston
spent
high
school
getting
into
fights
and
skipping
class.
He
flunked
out
of
his
junior
year
twice,
then
dropped
out,
got
his
GED,
and
went
to
work
at
the
chicken
plant.
Later
he
left
for
oil
field
work
in
Bakersfield,
concrete
work
in
Oklahoma
City,
and
a
string
of
trucking
jobs.
He
married
and
divorced
twice.
His
son
Blaine,
from
his
first
marriage,
lives
with
him
today
and
is
a
senior
at
Wickes
High.
After
every
job
and
each
woman,
Preston
always
came
home.
By
2005,
he
was
deep
in
debt
from
house
expenses
and
medical
bills,
and
didn’t
see
a
way
clear.
If
there
were
two
kinds
of
folks
in
Wickes,
the
ones
with
something
and
those
without,
he
could
see
which
group
he
was
headed
for.
Preston
knew
of
people
from
town
who
had
driven
trucks
in
Iraq.
“They
came
back
no
problem,
so
I
decided
maybe
I’d
go
over
there
and
I
wouldn’t
have
a
problem,”
he
says.
“It
wasn’t
desperation.
I
just
knew
that
was
a
lifetime
opportunity
to
go
make
that
kind
of
money.
I
wanted
a
home
so
bad,
I
was
willing
to
pay
that
price.”
In
2005,
when
his
second
wife
admitted
to
cheating
on
him,
he
asked
her
to
move
out,
making
his
choice
to
leave
simple.
Summing
up
his
state
of
mind
at
the
time,
he
remembers
thinking,
“I
got
nobody
else.
It’s
just
me,
and
I’m
gonna
do
this
or
get
killed.”
22
As
it
happened,
fate
found
a
third
way.
Five
hundred
million
served,”
signs
should
read
at
KBR’s
dining
halls.
The
scale
of
KBR’s
accomplishments,
enumerated
in
a
company
press
release,
is
awesome:
272
million
pounds
of
mail
and
3.5
billion
gallons
of
fuel
delivered,
over
3.7
million
miles
of
road
traveled,
32
million
clothing
bundles
laundered
worldwide—just
since
December
2001.
The
private
sector
that
accompanies
the
U.S.
military
in
Iraq
is
an
elaborate
patchwork
of
contracts
and
subcontracts,
but
with
the
Army’s
all‐purpose
support
work
in
its
pocket,
KBR
is
the
2‐ton
gorilla.
Through
May
2007,
according
to
the
Washington
Post,
KBR
received
$19.7
billion
under
a
contract
known
as
LOGCAP
III.
Pentagon
boosters
promised
the
contract
would
lead
to
a
more
responsive
approach
to
the
war.
Private
employees
would
be
cheaper
to
train
and
easier
to
get
rid
of
when
the
job
was
done.
Whistleblowers
and
the
media
have
called
out
KBR
for
waste
and
overbilling,
such
as
recording
more
meals
than
were
actually
served,
or
favoring
new
equipment
orders
over
repairs.
Yet
in
April
2007,
KBR
was
one
of
three
companies
awarded
the
Army’s
next
LOGCAP
contract.
Depending
on
how
much
mail
and
laundry
the
military
generates,
KBR
could
gross
as
much
as
$50
billion
from
the
work
over
the
next
decade.
Like
other
new
hires,
Preston
knew
there
was
big
money
in
KBR
when
he
reported
to
orientation
at
Greenspoint
Mall
in
Houston.
All
he
wanted
was
a
piece.
Dimly
lit
and
often
eerily
vacant,
Greenspoint
isn’t
an
ideal
place
to
spend
one’s
last
weeks
before
going
off
to
war.
The
mall
can’t
shake
its
old
nickname— “Gunspoint”—it
took
on
after
a
spate
of
violent
crimes
in
the
mid‐1990s.
A
few
days
23
after
Thanksgiving
2007,
as
the
holiday
shopping
season
began,
Greenspoint
was
evacuated
after
a
murder‐suicide
at
the
Body
Luxuries
lingerie
store.
A
mall
Santa
Claus
led
one
wave
of
fleeing
shoppers
to
the
parking
lot.
Nearly
every
worker
KBR
sends
to
Iraq
passes
through
orientation
in
Greenspoint,
in
a
large
unmarked
space
that
used
to
be
a
Montgomery
Ward
store.
Trainers
show
recruits
how
to
put
on
chemical
suits,
warn
them
to
drink
plenty
of
water,
and
remind
them
how
much
money
they’ll
be
making.
The
other
end
of
the
mall
has
Army,
Navy
and
Air
Force
recruiting
stations,
so
lunchtime
at
the
food
court
can
look
like
a
Green
Zone
mess
hall—except
that
in
Iraq,
the
KBR
recruits
serve
the
food.
Preston
says
he
didn’t
mind
the
surroundings
or
the
two
weeks
of
waiting
without
pay.
His
mind
was
occupied
with
dreams
of
how
the
money
would
change
his
life
back
home.
He
signed
on
to
drive
a
truck
for
around
$8,000
a
month—“More
money
than
I’d
ever
seen
in
a
month’s
time,”
he
says.
At
the
end
of
the
second
week,
his
name
finally
came
up
on
the
flight
list,
and
a
bus
took
him
30
minutes
down
the
road
to
Bush
Intercontinental
Airport.
When
he
left
Houston
in
April
2005,
it
was
his
first
ride
in
an
airplane.
After
security
contractors,
truck
drivers
probably
have
the
most
dangerous
private
jobs
in
Iraq.
Running
from
base
to
base
in
long
convoys,
they
make
easy
targets
for
improvised
explosive
devices,
snipers,
even
rock‐throwers.
But
with
pay
starting
near
$100,000
annually,
a
trucker
can
earn
twice
what
his
military
escort
makes.
On
base,
where
most
private
contractors
work,
the
danger
is
much
more
limited,
and
the
pay
can
be
even
better.
As
Preston
learned,
though,
the
cash
comes
at
a
price.
Soldiers
carry
guns;
truck
drivers
don’t,
although
Preston
kept
a
knife
in
his
cab.
While
troops
generally
get
a
warm
welcome
home,
a
trucker
coming
back
is
as
likely
to
be
called
a
war
24
profiteer
as
a
patriot.
Contractors
often
return
without
anybody
nearby
who
can
relate
to
their
experience,
and
without
a
Veterans
Affairs
office
they
can
turn
to
for
help.
Private
insurance
carriers
take
on
that
role.
Preston
lived
in
Camp
Anaconda,
a
sprawling,
makeshift
town
of
tens
of
thousands
where
KBR
bases
its
Iraq
operations,
about
65
miles
north
of
Baghdad,
at
Balad.
He
drove
a
refrigerated
truck—a
“reefer”—on
convoy
runs
every
couple
of
days,
and
between
runs,
he
killed
time
in
his
one‐room
hooch.
Fine
desert
dust
collected
on
his
clothes.
He
sat
around
watching
pirated
DVDs
bought
from
Filipino
laundry
workers,
and
called
home
to
talk
to
his
mom,
Yvonne,
and
his
son
Blaine,
who
was
staying
with
her.
Preston
asked
his
mom
to
take
$600
out
of
his
bank
account
and
send
him
a
digital
camera.
At
first
he
thought
the
silver
Sony
CyberShot
was
too
small,
but
he
was
happy
with
his
pictures
of
exotic
arches,
run‐down
buildings,
and
Iraqi
children
waving
from
the
roadside.
On
a
laptop
he
bought
in
Dubai,
he
made
a
slide
show
set
to
the
Toby
Keith
song
“How
Do
You
Like
Me
Now?”
and
dedicated
it
to
his
ex‐wife.
“How
do
you
like
me
now,
Now
that
I’m
on
my
way?
Do
you
still
think
I’m
crazy
Standin’
here
today?”
Preston
had
$20,000
saved
by
the
end
of
August,
when
he
came
home
for
R&R
leave.
He
visited
his
family
in
Texarkana
and
took
them
all
out
to
dinner.
Preston
took
Blaine
and
a
friend
on
a
weekend
trip
to
Dallas,
and
spent
$8,000
on
a
new
four‐ wheeler.
“I
just
got
a
taste
of
the
money,”
he
says.
He
relished
the
easy
lifestyle
that
25
came
with
the
extra
cash
and
was
unconcerned
as
his
savings
dwindled.
“It
don’t
take
long.
$20,000
is
nothing,”
he
says.
There
was
plenty
more
waiting
in
Iraq.
When
he
returned
to
Anaconda,
he
found
he’d
been
transferred
from
reefer
trucks
to
flatbeds—news
that
hit
him
hard
in
the
gut.
Reefer
assignments
had
given
him
a
day
on
base
between
runs,
but
flatbed
drivers
left
the
wire
almost
daily.
The
odds
had
just
doubled
against
him.
On
the
morning
of
September
20,
2005,
a
week
and
a
half
after
his
return,
Preston
joined
a
few
drivers
for
a
briefing
with
their
Virginia
National
Guard
escorts.
They
were
headed
to
Forward
Operating
Base
McKenzie,
45
minutes
away.
The
drivers
were
told
they’d
be
back
in
time
for
lunch.
Preston’s
white
Mercedes‐Benz
was
the
No.
5
truck,
near
the
front.
Yvonne
had
asked
him
to
try
out
the
video
mode
on
his
camera,
so
as
he
left
Anaconda
he
pressed
the
record
button
and
aimed
the
camera
at
the
road.
As
Preston
barrels
down
the
highway,
the
video
catches
a
dusty
road,
with
green
brush
and
occasional
palms.
The
video
doesn’t
reveal
it,
but
a
military
navigator
had
accidentally
directed
the
convoy
down
the
wrong
road.
The
pavement
narrows,
and
low
buildings
creep
close
to
the
road
as
the
convoy
passes
through
Ad
Duluiyah,
a
town
about
halfway
to
Camp
McKenzie.
Preston
pulls
closer
to
the
Humvee
ahead
of
him
as
they
roll
down
the
middle
of
the
street
past
markets,
homes,
and
Iraqis
paused
at
the
roadside
to
watch.
“KBR
just
took
two
rocks,
right
side,”
calls
a
voice
on
the
radio.
Preston
turns
his
camera
to
the
left
and
trains
it
on
an
Iraqi
boy.
The
child
bends
down
to
grab
a
rock,
takes
a
few
running
steps,
and
hurls
it
against
Preston’s
truck.
More
drivers
report
rocks,
then
broken
windows
and
windshields.
“It’s
raining
rocks,”
one
driver
says.
Preston’s
driver’s
side
window
shatters.
26
The
road
dead‐ends
at
the
banks
of
the
Tigris
River,
and
the
trucks
regroup.
Realizing
they’ve
taken
a
wrong
turn,
the
convoy
commander
decides
to
turn
around
and
push
on
to
McKenzie.
“We
just
missed
our
turn.
We
gotta
go
through
that
hellhole
again,”
Preston
tells
the
camera.
“This
is
gonna
be
one
good
video
right
here,
boy.
The
camera
continues
to
run.
The
streets
of
Ad
Duluiyah
reappear,
this
time
without
the
people
who
had
lined
them
minutes
earlier.
Other
drivers
would
later
recall
passing
an
old
man
who
made
an
ominous
chopping
motion
with
his
hands.
A
distant
cracking
noise
and
a
small
bullet
hole
in
Preston’s
windshield
signal
the
onset
of
real
trouble.
“Goddamn!”
he
screams.
The
bullet
has
passed
just
above
Preston’s
head.
The
camera
pans
down
for
a
moment.
The
lead
truck’s
driver,
Christopher
Lem,
is
killed
by
a
gunshot
to
the
neck.
His
truck
overturns,
blocking
half
the
road.
Preston’s
truck
shakes
as
a
rocket‐ propelled
grenade
hits
where
the
trailer
is
hitched.
The
cab
pitches
forward
off
its
back
wheels
as
warning
buzzers
let
out
an
urgent
whine.
Voices
on
the
radio
tell
him
to
push
through,
but
Preston
repeatedly
radios
back
that
truck
five
is
stuck,
and
he
needs
help.
“You’re
damn
right
I’m
scared,”
he
tells
the
camera,
hiding
in
the
sleeper
space
behind
the
passenger
seat.
The
city
street
is
eerily
empty,
its
silence
occasionally
broken
by
staccato
gunfire.
“I’m
going
home
when
this
shit’s
done.”
Far
ahead,
too
small
to
distinguish
on
camera
but
clear
enough
for
Preston
to
see,
four
men
stop
at
the
immobilized
No.
3
truck
and
coax
out
the
driver,
Sascha
Grenner‐Case.
Moments
later
they
execute
him
in
the
street.
They
move
on
to
truck
four
and
fire
up
into
its
cab,
at
driver
Kevin
Dagit.
“Oh
Jesus,
they
just
killed
him,”
Preston
shouts.
Up
to
that
point,
he’s
kept
the
camera
recording
without
knowing
quite
why.
After
Dagit’s
killing,
he
puts
the
camera
down
and
turns
it
off.
27
Two
bullets
pierced
his
truck
after
that,
tearing
through
his
right
arm
and
settling
under
his
shoulder.
He
had
enough
time
to
tear
off
a
sleeve
and
tie
up
the
wound
as
the
four
gunmen
walked
slowly
toward
him.
“The
truck
wouldn’t
move,
so
I
was
just
stuck
there.
It
wasn’t
a
matter
of
do
or
die,
’cause
there
was
nothing
I
could
do.
My
only
option
was
to
die,”
he
says.
Fighting
an
urge
to
get
out
and
run,
he
took
out
a
long
black
knife
and
gripped
it
tight,
waiting
to
defend
himself.
“All
I
knew
was,
the
first
feller
that
stuck
his
head
up
in
my
door,
I
was
stickin’
him,”
he
says.
“I
was
just
going
into
a
panic,
’cause
I
knew
my
number
was
coming
up.
I
was
on
the
radio
with
somebody,
I
don’t
know
who.
I
saw
them
walking
to
my
truck,
and
I
told
him
to
tell
my
son
I
loved
him.
They
kept
telling
me,
don’t
say
that,
you’re
gonna
be
alright.
And
I
told
him,
I’m
not
gonna
make
it
out
of
this
one.”
The
men
walked
slowly,
laughing
with
each
other,
he
recalls,
until
they
heard
the
Army
helicopters
arrive.
The
sound
sent
his
would‐be
attackers
running,
and
in
that
instant
Preston
was
handed
back
his
life.
Preston’s
mother
Yvonne
always
assumed
someone
from
KBR
would
call
if
Preston
were
hurt,
but
the
first
she
heard
of
the
attack
was
from
her
son.
“He
said,
‘Momma
I’ve
been
shot,’
and
I
just
went
all
to
pieces.
There
was
no
way
I
could
get
to
him,”
she
says.
“And
he
said,
‘Momma,
but
I’m
alive.’”
After
a
week
in
the
Army
hospital
in
Ramstein,
Germany,
Preston
flew
home
to
Texarkana,
where
Yvonne,
her
husband
Odis,
Blaine,
and
other
family
members
awaited.
The
hospital
in
Texas
suggested
sending
him
to
a
nursing
home
to
recover,
but
Yvonne
decided
he
would
stay
with
her
in
Hooks,
Texas,
just
west
of
Texarkana.
The
hospital
couldn’t
send
a
nurse
every
day,
so
Yvonne
learned
how
to
take
care
of
Preston
all
over
again.
Doctors
put
an
IV
port
in
his
chest,
and
his
mother
28
injected
him
with
antibiotics
every
six
hours.
Preston
had
to
keep
the
wound
dry,
so
he
depended
on
her
for
sponge
baths.
She’d
remove
the
bandages,
clean
the
wound,
and
cover
it
again.
Preston
says
it
was
big
enough
“to
fit
a
Skoal
can.”
“I
would
set
the
alarm,
get
it
all
ready,
and
get
him
through
the
night,”
Yvonne
says.
“But
when
he
started
having
those
flashbacks,
it
was
bad.”
Preston
says,
“I
didn’t
realize
the
effect
it
had
on
me
till
after
I
got
home.
I’d
wake
up
dreaming
about
it,
and
be
up
at
four
or
five
o’clock
in
the
morning,
setting
on
the
porch
and
crying
by
myself.
Didn’t
want
to
wake
up
my
mom
or
[step]dad,
so
I’d
just
sit
out
there
and
cry.
I
had
a
lot
of
mornings
like
that,
man.”
For
six
months,
Preston
lived
with
Yvonne,
trying
to
raise
his
right
arm
and
waiting
for
the
wound
to
heal.
He
left
the
house
only
to
smoke
cigarettes
in
the
driveway
and
watch
traffic
pass.
He
didn’t
get
many
visitors,
but
he
didn’t
want
them
anyway.
A
musical
wall
clock
became
the
soundtrack
to
his
days,
playing
recorded
chime
versions
of
“Hey
Jude”
and
“Here
Comes
the
Sun”
while
he
ticked
away
the
time.
Day
after
day
began
with
Preston
crying
on
the
porch.
“Mostly
it
was
from
the
dreams.
The
reality
of
what
happened
went
on
forever.
It
seemed
like
it
was
never
gonna
end,”
he
says.
A
psychiatrist
in
Texarkana
diagnosed
Preston
with
PTSD.
For
a
while
he
considered
returning
to
Iraq,
but
his
therapist
convinced
him
that
was
a
bad
idea.
The
psychiatrist
told
him
he
shouldn’t
drive
big
trucks
anymore.
Preston
understood
why:
Loud
noises
tend
to
trigger
the
most
intense
flashbacks.
“That’s
my
biggest
fear
driving
a
truck,
that
I’ll
blow
a
tire
on
the
highway
and
end
up
taking
out
an
innocent
family,”
he
says.
Preston
had
loved
trucking
since
he
was
a
boy,
loved
the
freedom
he
felt
racing
down
open
road.
Now
that
he
couldn’t
haul
on
the
highway,
he
found
the
job
at
the
chicken
plant
near
Wickes,
making
the
same
four
right
turns
20
times
every
shift.
29
To
date,
about
1.5
million
people
visiting
YouTube
have
witnessed
the
intense,
emotional
moments
Preston
was
sure
would
be
his
last.
The
digital
recording
of
the
attack
has
become
one
of
the
most
extraordinary
pieces
of
Preston’s
story,
making
a
traumatic,
near‐death
experience
an
oddly
public
event.
Often
war
memories
cloud
over
with
time
until
just
a
few
details
remain,
but
what
Preston
saw
and
felt
that
day
is
inextricably
tied
to
footage
he
can
replay
whenever
he
likes.
He
says
he’s
watched
the
video—“studied
it”—hundreds
of
times.
Preston
had
e‐mailed
the
video
to
other
drivers
in
the
convoy,
or
their
families,
but
says
it
went
public
after
another
driver’s
wife
sent
the
movie
to
Canadian
television.
The
video
made
the
mainstream
media
rounds
within
a
year
after
the
attack.
Preston
did
a
remote
interview
with
CNN’s
Anderson
Cooper,
and
the
ABC
Evening
News
flew
him
to
New
York.
After
his
appearance
on
ABC
News,
he
earned
a
second
trip
around
the
news
cycle
for
his
accusation
that
the
Virginia
National
Guard
escort
had
abandoned
his
convoy.
(In
his
video,
the
Humvee
ahead
of
him
drives
past
the
wreckage
as
Preston
calls
for
help.
While
the
rest
of
the
escort
fought
off
the
attack
behind
him,
the
lead
gun
trucks
had
pushed
forward
to
regroup
for
a
counterattack.)
Five
hundred
YouTube
users
have
added
comments
to
Preston’s
video.
Most
write
about
the
war,
America,
or
Iraq
in
general,
often
in
the
raw,
crass
style
typical
of
online
comment
threads.
A
few
are
aimed
at
Preston:
Some
are
sympathetic,
but
others
criticize
what
he
says
in
the
video,
his
unarmed
presence
in
a
war
zone,
his
decision
to
go
to
Iraq
in
the
first
place.
Preston
has
fired
back
at
some
of
the
comments.
Preston
became
a
cult
sensation
in
Australia
after
a
TV
station
accidentally
played
a
few
of
his
terrified
words
on
a
loop,
over
and
over,
for
five
minutes,
during
a
prime‐time
documentary
about
a
train
wreck.
“I
tell
you
what
man,
you
Google
‘Jesus
Christ,
help
us
all
Lord,’
and
my
name
comes
right
up,”
he
says.
30
If
his
new
job
didn’t
give
him
that
old
thrill
of
asphalt
rushing
under
his
feet,
at
least
it
took
his
mind
off
his
memories.
It
also
helped
that
his
old
friend
Kellie
worked
in
the
office;
he
spent
his
entire
shift
driving
circles
around
her.
A
few
months
after
she
divorced
her
husband—an
old
friend
of
Preston’s—the
two
started
dating,
and
when
Preston
moved
into
a
rented
house
in
Wickes,
Kellie
and
her
two
kids
moved
in
with
him.
The
memories
remained,
though,
and
something
felt
unsettled.
It
was
more
than
Kellie
and
her
kids,
or
Blaine,
could
distract
him
from.
Preston
began
following
the
news
from
Iraq,
looking
for
people
who
had
been
through
what
he
had.
“I
got
TV
’cause
I
was
bored,
but
next
thing
you
know,
‘Everybody
Loves
Raymond’
wasn’t
so
important
to
me—it
was
CNN,”
he
says.
While
Preston
was
broadcast,
published,
and
streamed
online
around
the
globe,
in
person
he
grew
more
and
more
shut
in.
He
watched
CNN
compulsively.
“He
confined
himself
to
the
house,
and
there
was
no
outside
world,”
Kellie
says.
“I
didn’t
know
what
I
could
get
out
and
do,”
Preston
says.
“My
getting
out
and
doing
something
was
going
to
get
a
30‐pack
of
beer,
and
I’d
come
home
to
drink
it.”
Worse
than
the
memories
of
what
he
had
seen
was
the
urgent
sense
of
being
penned
in
on
that
street.
It
came
back
to
him
driving,
when
he
got
stuck
behind
a
slow
driver;
it
came
back
in
a
crowded
room.
That
need
to
take
control,
to
fight
his
way
out
if
necessary,
grew
more
intense.
“It
would
be
my
pleasure
to
oblige
the
next
feller
that
wanted
to
try
me
out,”
he
says.
“Win
or
lose,
I
wouldn’t
care.
I
just
got
so
much
built
up
inside
of
me,
you
know?
I’ve
always
been
good
at
driving
a
truck,
and
hurting
somebody.
Those
two
things.”
31
While
he
avoided
leaving
his
home,
he
became
resentful
when
Kellie
spent
time
away.
After
one
argument
in
October
2007,
Preston
ordered
Kellie
to
leave
the
house.
Coincidentally,
a
week
later
some
truck
drivers
from
his
old
convoy
had
a
meeting
in
Porter,
Texas,
a
suburb
north
of
Houston.
Preston
drove
down
to
see
them.
American
Contractors
in
Iraq
is
one
of
the
only
national
support
networks
for
injured
contractors.
It’s
made
up
of
a
loose
affiliation
of
contractors
and
their
families.
The
group’s
Web
site,
americancontractorsiniraq.com,
was
founded
by
Jana
Crowdet,
a
contractor’s
wife,
who
posts
information
about
filing
insurance
claims
and
coping
with
PTSD.
Art
Faust,
the
truck
driver
who
organized
the
conference,
had
been
five
trucks
behind
Preston
in
the
convoy.
The
No.
2
truck
driver,
Terry
Steward,
who
spent
weeks
recovering
beside
Preston
after
the
attack,
was
there,
too;
Preston
stayed
with
Steward
and
his
wife
in
their
RV.
Other
drivers
welcomed
him
warmly.
Some
told
Preston
his
video
helped
them
recover
after
their
own
attacks.
A
Houston
therapist
named
Sandra
Dickson
spoke
to
the
group,
describing
the
signs
of
PTSD.
Being
quick
to
fight,
developing
relationship
trouble,
and
sitting
in
front
of
the
news
for
hours
on
end
were
all
typical
signs,
she
said.
Though
Preston
had
already
been
diagnosed,
he
was
surprised
when
her
description
nailed
him
so
well.
He
thought
that
the
shut‐in
he’d
become
wasn’t
really
him,
that
maybe
he’d
never
find
what
he
was
looking
for
on
the
news.
Preston
raised
his
hand
when
Dickson
asked
for
questions.
“Is
it
my
fault
that
I’m
an
asshole?”
he
asked.
“It’s
not
your
fault,
but
it
is
your
responsibility,”
she
said.
Preston
drove
home
and
took
down
his
satellite
dish.
32
He
reminded
himself
not
to
let
the
memories
take
over,
the
way
his
father
did.
“I
understand
him
now,
to
an
extent,
because
of
the
post‐traumatic
stress.
But
it
took
me
a
long
time
to
forgive
my
dad,”
Preston
says.
“I
went
out
there
to
his
grave
and
told
him.
He
let
it
consume
him.
It’s
something
I
don’t
intend
to
let
happen
to
me.”
Kellie
came
back,
and
the
two
remained
together
until
mid‐March,
when
she
left
again
after
Preston
and
her
10‐year‐old
son,
Bubba,
got
into
a
shouting
match.
The
boy’s
exuberance,
and
loud
balloon
popping
in
the
living
room,
had
long
tested
Preston’s
will,
but
the
two
clearly
shared
a
bond.
Preston
said
Bubba,
a
constant
shadow
in
a
matching
camouflage
jacket,
helped
him
focus
on
the
future
and
keep
his
memories
from
taking
over.
Ironically,
Preston
may
yet
end
up
with
the
money
he
wanted
from
Iraq—possibly
much
more—precisely
because
of
the
attack.
The
claim
he
filed
under
the
Defense
Base
Act,
a
World
War
II‐era
law
providing
generous
worker’s
compensation
for
civilians
supporting
the
U.S.
military
overseas,
may
settle
soon,
and
he
could
end
up
with
a
lump
sum
that
would
more
than
pay
for
a
new
house
in
Wickes.
His
lawyer,
Gary
Pitts,
who
represents
many
contractors
in
similar
claims,
says
Preston
is
lucky,
legally
speaking.
Some
of
Pitts’
clients
are
fighting
drawn‐out
claims
with
American
International
Group
Inc.,
the
insurance
carrier
for
KBR,
over
soft‐tissue
and
back
injuries
that
are
tougher
to
document
than
two
bullets
in
the
right
arm.
In
disputed
PTSD
claims,
Pitts
says,
the
case
often
comes
down
to
opposing
opinions
from
the
contractor’s
therapist
and
AIG’s
in‐house
expert.
“It’s
a
shootout
every
time,”
Pitts
says.
Preston’s
case
is
unique
because
if
AIG
asks
him
to
document
his
trauma,
all
he
has
to
do
is
push
“play.”
Preston
keeps
a
sketch
of
the
floor
plan
for
the
house
he
says
he’ll
build
someday,
settlement
or
not.
His
son
Blaine
has
signed
to
join
the
Navy
after
33
graduation,
and
may
go
off
to
war
himself.
“If
I
can
build
my
home,
then
I’m
satisfied
I’ve
reached
the
goal
I
set
out
to
reach
in
my
life,”
Preston
says.
No
matter
how
well
the
money
works
out,
he
wishes
he
hadn’t
gone
to
Iraq.
“I
can
live
with
the
physical
part,
the
injuries,”
he
says.
“But
I
would
give
it
all
back
to
not
have
the
memories.”
34
I
figured,
I’m
retired
now.
I
can
afford
to
go
over
there.
Art
Faust,
62
Trucker,
KBR
Worked
in
Iraq
April
2005‐January
2006
Convoy
attacked;
PTSD
35
After
years
of
working
for
ungrateful
bosses,
repeatedly
getting
passed
over
for
promotions
and
waiting
for
pay
raises
that
never
came,
Art
Faust
had
had
enough.
Faust
spent
decades
hauling
groceries
for
the
Kroger
food
chain.
He’d
driven
in
hurricanes
and
floods,
and
endured
long
stretches
away
from
home
in
far
north
suburban
Houston.
He’d
seen
that
union
politics
was
the
only
way
to
really
get
ahead
in
the
job,
and
he
wasn’t
interested
in
playing
that
game.
Figuring
he’d
spend
just
a
couple
more
years
working
before
retiring,
Faust
wanted
to
make
a
bold
move
for
once:
he’d
follow
his
son
to
Iraq.
Art
Jr.
had
just
enlisted
in
the
Army
and
shipped
off
soon
after.
Faust
had
never
been
in
the
military—he
tried
to
enlist
during
the
Vietnam
War,
he
says,
but
was
turned
down
for
being
underweight.
Driving
a
truck
for
KBR,
hauling
supplies
to
the
troops,
would
be
his
chance
to
support
his
country
and
his
son,
plus—as
he
sold
the
plan
to
his
wife,
Georgia—the
extra
cash
would
help
set
them
up
in
retirement.
In
his
early
sixties
now,
Faust
is
still
a
slight
man,
though
his
face
and
belly
have
filled
in
with
the
look
of
a
man
who’s
spent
his
life
in
a
sedentary
job.
His
fingers
are
curled
from
rheumatoid
arthritis
that
set
in
years
ago—well
before
one
could
blame
it
on
old
age.
It
makes
Faust’s
presence
even
less
imposing,
and
when
friends
relate
how
Faust’s
KBR
bosses
pushed
him
around,
it’s
easy
to
believe.
As
soon
as
he
landed
in
Baghdad,
while
individual
assignments
were
being
worked
out,
Faust
began
lobbying
for
a
post
near
Art
Jr.
We’ll
see
what
we
can
do,
his
bosses
told
him,
repeatedly.
“They
were
jerking
him
around
about
his
son
the
entire
time
he
was
there,”
says
a
friend
who
worked
with
Faust
in
Iraq,
but
asked
not
to
be
identified
because
he’s
still
working
for
KBR.
Faust
was
assigned
to
Camp
Anaconda,
hours
away
from
his
son,
and
the
two
met
only
once
there,
when
Art
Jr.
took
a
few
days
off
to
visit
his
father
at
Anaconda.
36
Faust
was
in
the
tenth
spot
in
the
convoy
attacked
in
Ad
Duluiyah
in
September
2005,
a
few
trucks
behind
Preston
Wheeler.
In
Wheeler’s
recording,
Faust’s
voice
comes
over
the
radio
briefly
after
a
handful
of
drivers
report
where
they’ve
been
hit
with
rocks—“KBR
just
took
two
rocks,
left
side,”
one
calls
out,
following
protocol.
“It’s
raining
rocks,”
Faust
says.
When
he
recounts
the
day
of
the
attack,
Faust
always
mentions
how
the
convoy
commander
laid
into
“whoever
that
was”
that
made
the
remark
about
it
raining
rocks,
how
it
wasn’t
the
kind
of
thing
drivers
should
clutter
the
radio
channel
with.
Just
one
more
layer
of
company
crap,
Faust
thought,
even
right
there
during
an
attack.
During
the
worst
of
it,
when
drivers
at
the
head
of
the
convoy
were
being
pulled
from
their
trucks
and
executed,
Faust
near
the
back
of
the
convoy,
where
the
Virginia
National
Guard
security
detail
was
fending
off
shooters.
Faust
himself
was
never
shot,
but
the
experience
scared
him
more
than
anything
ever
had
before.
He
was
pretty
sure
it
was
only
a
matter
of
time
before
a
bullet
found
him,
and
that
left
him
deeply
shaken.
Faust
actually
got
back
behind
the
wheel
of
a
truck
after
a
few
weeks,
but
by
January
2006,
he
was
back
at
home
and
discovering
that
the
attack,
and
much
of
the
rest
of
his
time
in
Iraq,
had
left
a
lingering
impact.
Within
months
of
his
return,
he
showed
signs
of
PTSD.
Georgia,
and
Faust’s
daughter
Melissa
agree
it
was
clear
early
on
that
he
was
more
distant
than
he’d
been
before
leaving.
He
joked
around
less.
Faust
spent
whole
days
on
the
couch
watching
cable
news.
Though
he’d
always
been
a
light
sleeper,
he
was
regularly
waking
up
at
2
or
3
a.m.
now.
The
only
thing
he
seemed
really
interested
in
talking
about
was
Iraq.
In
a
sense,
it’s
tough
to
blame
him—dodging
bullets
in
the
desert
war
was
a
far
cry
from
the
quiet
suburban
life
he
returned
to.
But
Melissa
recalls
one
point
in
late
37
2007
when
she
just
had
to
cut
her
father
off,
the
time
he
started
telling
an
Iraq
story—one
she’d
heard
before
anyway—while
the
two
danced
on
her
wedding
day.
Searching
for
answers
on
the
Internet,
Georgia
found
stories
about
post‐
traumatic
stress,
and
thought
the
symptoms
sounded
awfully
familiar.
“You
need
to
go
get
help,”
Georgia
finally
told
him.
Faust
spent
a
long
time
making
phone
calls,
trying
to
figure
out
what
sort
of
psychiatric
support
he
was
entitled
to.
He
went
to
a
few
appointments,
but
never
thought
they
did
any
good.
Faust
felt
patronized,
he
says,
and
PTSD
never
came
up.
In
the
midst
of
her
Internet
searches,
Georgia
says
she
was
surprised
how
little
information
was
out
there
for
civilian
contractors.
By
far
the
best
resource
was
a
site
called
americancontractorsiniraq.com,
which
listed
signs
of
PTSD
along
with
legal
tips
to
help
workers
get
the
benefits
they
were
entitled
to.
The
group
was
having
a
conference
in
Tennessee
in
mid‐2006,
and
Art
and
Georgia
decided
to
go.
In
the
group,
Art
found
the
support
network
he
knew
he’d
been
missing
since
his
return.
He
learned
about
the
Defense
Base
Act,
and
heard
stories
from
workers
who
felt
their
insurance
and
worker’s
compensation
claims
were
being
unduly
held
up
in
court.
He
came
back
with
a
new
group
of
friends
who
knew
just
what
he
was
going
through,
and
he
hired
Gary
Pitts,
the
Houston
lawyer
who
represented
so
many
injured
contractors,
to
help
with
his
DBA
claim.
At
Wal‐Mart
one
day,
he
ran
into
David
Boiles,
a
trucker
he
recognized
from
Camp
Anaconda,
but
who
he
didn’t
realize
lived
so
close
to
him.
Boiles
came
home
from
Iraq
with
back
problems
after
his
truck
went
off
a
road.
Now,
doctors
were
telling
him
he
needed
three
separate
surgeries,
but
AIG
was
only
agreeing
to
cover
one.
Faust
told
Boiles
all
he’d
learned
about
the
DBA
process,
and
put
him
in
touch
with
Gary
Pitts
as
well
as
Jana
Crowder,
who
ran
the
injured
contractors’
Web
site.
38
While
Faust
worked
through
his
own
worker’s
comp
case
with
Pitts,
he
became
more
and
more
involved
in
the
informal
organization
growing
around
Crowder’s
site.
He
found
himself
on
the
phone
with
injured
contractors
he’d
never
met
before,
talking
them
down
from
suicide,
or
offering
whatever
legal
tips
he’d
picked
up.
In
October
2007,
he
hosted
a
conference
for
Crowder’s
group
near
his
home—a
good
location
since
so
many
KBR
workers
came
from
Houston,
though
many
of
the
20
former
contractors
crossed
the
country
to
be
there.
While
Faust
thought
he’d
be
going
to
Iraq
to
get
away
from
the
lousy
treatment
he
felt
he’d
been
getting
from
his
company,
KBR,
and
its
insurance
carrier
AIG,
are
the
companies
he’s
especially
angry
at
these
days.
In
a
parallel
sort
of
irony,
after
he
spent
years
rebelling
against
activity
in
the
unions
at
his
old
job,
he’s
found
a
great
sense
of
purpose
now
as
an
organizer
of
workers
who
feel
KBR
and
AIG
have
mistreated
them.
39
It’s
very
interesting—to
know
how
it’s
It
opens
up
a
lot
of
different
options
for
treatment.
working
in
the
brain.
Terry
Steward,
Trucker,
Worked
in
Gunshots,
PTSD
after
attack
on
truck
convoy
40
54
KBR
Iraq
Terry
Steward
doesn’t
know
how
many
times
he
was
shot
when
he
truck
convoy
was
attacked—seven
times,
maybe
in
the
leg
and
groin
where
the
bullets
got
through.
A
few
more
times
in
his
bulletproof
vest.
He
was
driving
the
number‐two
truck,
ahead
of
Preston
Wheeler
and
Art
Faust
in
that
same
truck
convoy
attacked
between
Anaconda
and
Spycher.
After
he
was
shot,
he
remembers
leaning
hard
on
the
gas
pedal
to
keep
his
truck
moving,
to
be
sure
he
didn’t
trap
the
rest
of
the
convoy
behind
him—he
had
to
leave
them
a
way
out.
Terry
is
a
soft‐spoken
man
from
rural
Idaho,
and
as
he
tells
the
story
of
the
attack,
it’s
surprising
to
hear
how
matter‐of‐factly
he
recalls
the
experience.
But
Steward
was
in
the
Marines,
and
says
that
training
is
what
helped
him
stay
focused
after
he’d
been
shot,
to
be
sure
he
did
everything
he
could
to
give
his
fellow
drivers
a
way
out.
Terry
was
airlifted
out
of
Iraq
alongside
Preston,
and
the
two
became
good
friends
during
their
recovery
in
Ramstein
together.
Though
they
spoke
often
on
the
phone,
the
contractors’
conference
in
Houston
Art
Faust
hosted
was
the
first
time
they’d
seen
one
another
since
their
Medevac
flight
back
home.
Steward
says
his
gunshot
injuries
have
been
well
taken
care
of
by
AIG,
and
while
he
resents
the
company’s
treatment
of
other
drivers
he’s
gotten
to
know,
he
says
he’s
been
happy
with
how
well
they’ve
covered
his
psychiatric
care
too.
The
biggest
inconvenience
is
the
75‐mile
drive
from
his
home
along
the
Idaho‐Oregon
border
into
Boise
for
appointments.
Even
with
the
legal
support
he’s
entitled
to,
coping
with
PTSD
been
difficult
for
Terry
and
his
wife
Darlene
since
his
return.
41
The
flashbacks
began
in
the
German
hospital—gunshots
from
drilling
soldiers
outside
his
window
one
day,
and
at
night
the
sense
that
attackers
were
approaching
in
his
bed
in
the
shadows.
The
flashbacks
continued
at
home,
and
his
wife
Darlene
struggled
to
cope
with
the
extra
distance
that
had
developed
in
their
relationship—especially
difficult
because
it
was
just
the
two
of
them
at
home.
Terry
couldn’t
drive
a
truck
for
a
living
anymore,
but
he
could
handle
their
motor
home.
The
two
took
long
trips
to
get
away
from
the
house
and
visit
family.
After
a
few
weeks
of
dog‐sitting
for
their
daughter,
the
two
realized
that
having
a
puppy
around
was
therapeutic
for
them
both,
and
they
decided
to
adopt
one
of
their
own.
They
named
her
Abby,
and
in
the
darkest
times
for
either
of
them,
they
took
comfort
in
having
her
around.
Terry
also
began
seeing
an
EMDR
therapist
in
early
2008,
and
has
been
enthusiastic
about
its
effects
on
his
personality.
Eye
movement
desensitization
and
reprocessing
is
a
therapy
designed
to
help
patients
get
over
traumatic
experiences
by
revisiting
the
memories
and
enforcing
connections
across
the
two
hemispheres
of
the
brain.
Terry
says
he’s
the
therapy
has
is
helping
him
recover
from
the
PTSD
better
than
anything
else
he’s
tried.
While
EMDR
can
involve
directed
eye
movements
from
side‐to‐side,
or
even
music
fading
from
one
side
of
the
headphones
to
another,
other
side‐to‐side
movements
can
trigger
the
same
effect.
On
a
road
trip
down
to
visit
family
in
the
San
Francisco
Bay
Area,
Steward
says
he
can
calm
his
nerves
by
crossing
his
arms
and
tapping
his
fingers
on
his
arms,
first
the
left,
then
the
right.
With
help
getting
over
his
PTSD,
Terry
has
also
enrolled
in
vocational
classes,
learning
computer
skills
that
will
help
him
eventually
work
from
home,
he
hopes,
and
find
a
new
career
and
move
on
to
a
life
without
trucking.
42
“I
would
go
back
in
a
heartbeat.
But
not
if
I
was
going
to
get
medical
care
like
this.”
David
Boiles,
60
Trucker,
KBR
Worked
in
Iraq
Multiple
back
injuries
after
truck
ran
off
the
road
43
Behind
the
wheel
of
a
truck,
his
handle
is
“Big
‘Un,”
and
it
fits.
David
Boiles
is
a
big
man,
not
one
for
chit‐chat.
What
he
will
talk
about,
though,
for
hours
on
end,
is
the
mess
he’s
had
with
AIG.
Boiles
drove
his
truck
off
the
road
accidentally
in
Iraq,
and
while
he
was
being
jostled
around
in
the
cab,
he
hit
his
head
on
the
ceiling.
It
was
the
beginning
of
nagging
back
troubles
that
left
him
unable
to
walk
some
days,
and
forced
him
to
come
home
early
from
Iraq.
He
discovered
quickly
that,
perhaps
next
to
psychological
injuries,
back
problems
are
the
most
problematic
sort
of
injury
to
document
for
the
insurance
company.
His
doctors
told
him
he’d
need
three
surgeries
on
his
back,
and
initially,
he
says,
AIG
signed
off
on
them
all.
Once
the
first
one
was
performed,
though,
AIG
told
Boiles
they
wouldn’t
cover
the
other
two.
It
began
a
series
of
claims
for
doctors’
appointments
and
procedures
that
became
protracted
fights.
AIG,
Boiles
says,
agreed
at
one
point
to
cover
the
second
surgery
on
his
back,
but
reneged
when
his
doctor’s
office
called
to
confirm,
just
half
an
hour
before
the
surgery
was
scheduled.
That
doctor,
Boiles
says,
won’t
see
him
anymore
because
he
can’t
deal
with
AIG.
Boiles
isn’t
sure
how
long
his
claims
will
take
now,
and
years
after
his
injury,
he’s
still
waiting
for
a
final
decision
on
the
permanent
worker’s
compensation
benefits
he’ll
be
entitled
to.
For
years,
he’s
looked
forward
to
a
court
date,
only
to
learn
KBR’s
lawyers
received
an
extension
of
a
few
more
months.
Most
recently,
he
was
scheduled
for
a
court
date
in
early
August,
but
found
out
just
days
before
that
the
judge
had
granted
KBR’s
legal
team
another
extension,
until
sometime
in
early
2009.
44
“After
a
while
they
start
freezing
raises,
you
know
you’re
not
going
to
be
getting
any
more
money.
That’s
when
I
started
looking
at
going
overseas.”
Russell
Skoug,
49
Appliance
repairman
for
Wolfpack
Worked
in
Iraq
October
2004‐June
2005,
October
2005‐September
2006
Injuries
to
left
arm
and
leg
from
IED
blast
45
He
knows
it
may
sound
funny,
but
the
sweetest
scent
Russell
Skoug
has
ever
known
was
the
smell
of
Houston
on
the
fall
day
he
flew
back
from
Iraq.
“It’s
the
trees,
the
bird
songs.
I
knew
I
was
home,”
Russell
says.
Missing
large
parts
of
his
left
arm
and
leg,
unsure
if
he’d
ever
walk
again,
it
was
an
emotional
homecoming,
and
Russell
had
been
gone
a
long
time.
In
his
East
Texas
hometown
of
Diboll,
jobs
have
been
steadily
disappearing
for
decades,
and
the
ones
that
remain,
he
says,
are
pretty
much
dead
ends.
Trained
as
an
air
conditioner
repairman,
Russell
quit
his
job
at
the
local
Coca‐Cola
plant
when
he
realized
he
didn’t
have
much
chance
at
advancement.
He
worked
for
KBR
in
Afghanistan
in
2003,
and
in
2004
decided
to
work
in
Iraq.
His
new
company,
Wolfpack,
was
a
small
outfit
with
about
25
people
in
Iraq.
They
hired
him
to
fix
generators
and
air
conditioning
units,
a
job
that
meant
travel
between
bases,
wherever
he
was
needed.
One
night
in
September
2006,
a
time
when
everyone
there
could
see
the
violence
escalating,
Russell
was
riding
with
a
special
forces
unit,
in
the
passenger
seat
of
a
truck,
when
they
ran
over
two
anti‐tank
mines
hidden
in
a
pothole.
Russell
barely
survived,
and
he
knew
he’d
been
due
for
a
close
call.
The
month
before,
seeing
how
dangerous
Iraq
had
become,
he’d
even
packed
up
his
bags
46
to
go
home
before
changing
his
mind.
Now
Wolfpack’s
CEO
was
leaving
messages
with
Russell’s
wife
Linda
to
tell
her
Russell
had
been
hurt.
Russell’s
recovery
quickly
turned
to
a
nasty
legal
battle,
after
his
company’s
health
insurance
carrier,
Cigna
International
initially
refused
to
cover
his
emergency
transportation
and
residence
costs,
a
bill
that
included
more
than
$250,000
in
hospital
expenses
in
Houston.
He
was
shocked.
Even
his
physical
therapy
bills,
a
cost
the
insurer
had
preapproved,
were
being
denied.
Russell
had
to
go
to
court
just
to
keep
from
paying
those
emergency
health
care
costs,
the
sort
of
basic
expenses
leaht
insurance
is
designed
to
cover.
At
home
in
Diboll
today,
with
his
wife
and
kids,
he’s
been
working
on
rebuilding
an
old
lawnmower
in
his
back
yard
to
pass
the
time.
Job
opportunities
aren’t
any
better
than
they
were
when
he
left,
but
with
partial
use
of
his
left
hand
and
trouble
walking,
he’s
more
limited
now
than
ever.
47
“What
hurts
the
most
is
the
abandonment.”
Robert
Rowe,
48
Trucker,
KBR
Gunshot
wounds,
PTSD
after
attack
on
convoy
48
When
Robert
Rowe
was
shot
on
one
run
through
Baghdad,
he
says
he
was
left
to
fend
for
himself
almost
from
the
start.
After
doctors
stabilized
him,
Robert
says
he
was
put
in
a
car
headed
to
the
Baghdad
airport—down
the
infamous
road
that’s
one
of
the
country’s
most
dangerous—and
told
to
get
on
a
plane
back
to
the
U.S.
He
was
still
wearing
the
blood‐ stained
clothes
he
had
on
when
he
was
shot.
Perhaps
it’s
not
surprising,
then,
that
“abandonment”
is
a
word
that
comes
up
often
as
Robert
talks
about
his
time
in
Iraq
and
his
feelings
for
his
old
employers.
He
shares
the
concerns
many
former
KBR
workers
have,
about
how
they
were
technically
working
for
an
offshore
shell
company,
Service
Employees
International,
Inc.,
not
KBR;
about
the
multiple,
impersonal
letters
they
received
at
home,
while
they
nursed
the
wounds
that
forced
them
to
come
home,
saying
they’d
been
fired
for
their
failure
to
report
for
work.
Robert
didn’t
have
a
wife
and
family
waiting
for
him
at
home—he
didn’t
even
tell
his
parents
he’d
been
shot,
until
months
after
he
returned.
He
has
a
son
he
sees
on
occasion,
but
who
lives
his
Robert’s
ex‐wife
most
of
the
time.
He
was
alone
when
he
returned,
and
most
shocking
of
all
was
how
quickly
the
company
for
which
he’d
risked
his
life
had
simply
let
him
go.
Near
the
end
of
his
recovery,
Robert
was
so
short
on
cash
that
he
had
to
give
up
his
house
in
Marion,
Ohio.
He
recovered,
physically,
and
hired
on
with
a
trucking
company
in
the
U.S.,
doing
the
same
work
he
did
before
he
left
for
Iraq.
49
But
the
trauma
from
his
time
in
Iraq,
coupled
with
the
fierce
frustration
and
anger
he
still
feels
for
KBR,
takes
its
toll.
“There
are
times,
you’ll
sort
of
space
out
somewhere
in
the
Midwest,
and
come
to
again
on
the
West
Coast,
and
have
no
idea
how
you
got
there,”
Robert
says.
He
keeps
a
book
in
the
back
of
his
cab,
where
he
writes
poetry
and
other
thoughts
about
the
war.
As
a
veteran
of
the
Marines
and
the
Army,
Rowe
has
strong
feelings
about
loyalty,
and
he’s
frustrated
that
in
a
war,
those
same
bonds
don’t
always
carry
over
into
the
private
sector.
50
“I
don’t
want
to
let
this
demon
loose.
I
want
to
keep
him
in
check.”
Darrin
Hays,
40
Prison
warden,
Science
Applications
International
Corp.
Worked
in
Iraq
2003‐2004
Back
and
neck
injuries
suffered
while
subduing
a
prisoner
51
Driving
back
to
his
home
in
northern
Las
Vegas
after
his
sister’s
wedding,
Darrin
Hays
was
already
hurting.
He’d
had
a
couple
painkillers
to
take
the
edge
off,
but
by
the
end
of
a
long
day
like
this,
they
were
never
enough.
Just
miles
from
his
exit
on
the
highway,
he
saw
two
cars
up
against
the
median,
a
very
recent
car
wreck—he
remembers
the
smoke
coming
from
one
car’s
engine.
Approaching
the
driver
in
one
of
the
cars,
he
saw
a
familiar
face—nobody
he
knew,
but
a
cold
gaze
he’d
seen
many
times
before
in
Iraq,
the
look
of
death.
It’s
like
it
had
followed
him
home,
he
says
now.
He
checked
for
a
pulse
and
felt
nothing,
he
says.
The
people
in
the
other
car
weren’t
injured,
and
asked
him
to
stay
and
help.
Darrin
couldn’t
bring
himself
to
do
it.
Leaning
heavily
on
his
cane,
the
40‐year‐old
former
prison
warden
plodded
back
to
his
car
and
drove
home.
“People
tell
me,
‘Oh,
you
should
just
let
it
out,’”
he
says
of
all
the
pain
and
frustration
he
feels
now.
“But
I
don’t
want
to.
I
don’t
want
to
let
this
demon
loose.
I
want
to
keep
him
in
check.”
A
veteran
prison
warden
from
Phoenix,
Darrin
went
to
Iraq
when
he
heard
the
kind
of
money
being
offered
for
a
job
that
fit
his
skill
set.
He
worked
for
a
San
Diego‐based
company
called
SAIC,
managing
prison
operations
and
training
guards.
After
the
scandal
at
the
Abu
Ghraib
prison,
Darrin
was
among
the
private
workers
sent
in
to
clean
up
its
operations.
At
another
prison,
when
an
inmate
tried
to
escape
one
day,
Darrin
chased
him
down
and
began
punching
and
wrestling
with
him
to
subdue
him.
After
getting
up
and
handing
off
the
prisoner,
he
began
to
feel
an
intense
burning
in
his
next.
He
took
some
painkillers
and
worked
through
the
injury,
but
when
the
Humvee
he
was
riding
in
went
over
a
median
weeks
later,
landing
one
of
his
coworkers
on
top
of
him
in
the
back
seat,
his
neck
and
back
injuries
returned
worse
than
ever.
52
Darrin
came
home
to
a
series
of
complex
spinal
surgeries,
unable
to
work
and
with
little
to
do
while
he
tried
to
regulate
his
pain.
“I
was
like
a
leaf
in
the
wind,”
he
recalls.
He
and
his
wife
Rhonda,
a
flight
attendant,
decided
to
have
a
child
after
he
returned,
and
today
he
has
a
son
and
daughter
named
Ronin
and
Logan.
“Now
I
have
some
purpose,
some
direction,”
he
says,
“and
it’s
great.”
Still,
any
trip
out
of
the
house
takes
hours,
if
not
a
full
day
of
planning
ahead,
so
he
can
lay
low
ahead
of
time,
to
be
sure
his
back
is
in
good
shape.
Because
his
injuries
don’t
show
in
any
outward
way,
like
the
scars
from
a
bullet
or
an
explosion
would,
he’s
constantly
worried
about
what
others
think
of
his
injury.
He’s
wary
of
being
looked
at
as
a
faker—“If
I
was
a
judge
looking
at
me,
I’d
say,
well,
he
looks
good
enough
to
me.”
While
Darrin
lives
off
his
DBA
worker’s
compensation
check,
he
goes
on
wondering
if
his
insurance
company
will
declare
him
“maximum
medically
improved”
and
decline
to
cover
any
more
operations.
Worst
of
all,
though,
is
the
very
basic
thought
that
he
looks
young
and
fit,
just
like
he
used
to
be,
but
that
he
feels
so
much
older
now,
with
the
limited
mobility
of
someone
decades
older.
53
“I’d
like
to
go
back
there
quite
a
bit.
I
have
to
get
over
them
fears,
to
get
on
with
my
life.”
Fred
Gaus,
58
Trucker,
KBR
Worked
in
Iraq
April‐June
2008
Multiple
injuries
from
IED
explosion
under
truck
54
For
Fred
Gaus,
trucking
is
a
way
of
life.
Between
big
trucks
and
Harleys,
hhis
day
job
and
his
vacations
all
revolve
around
the
road.
His
wife
Vardis
is
a
trucker
too—he
proposed
to
her
with
a
voicemail
message
left
at
a
truck
stop
because
her
cargo
got
held
up.
Even
so,
after
a
mine
exploded
under
his
truck
in
June
2008,
killing
a
friend
of
his
who’d
been
riding
in
the
passenger
seat,
it’s
surprising
to
hear
how
enthusiastic
Fred
is
about
returning
to
war.
“I’d
like
to
go
back
there
quite
a
bit,”
he
says.
“I
have
to
get
over
them
fears,
to
get
on
with
my
life.”
He
says
he
went
to
Iraq
the
first
time
out
of
a
sense
of
patriotic
duty,
a
need
to
contribute
to
the
war
effort
and
support
the
troops.
Next
time,
just
as
soon
as
he’s
recovered,
it’ll
be
more
personal,
he
says.
For
now,
he’s
at
home
in
Albuquerque,
in
a
brace
when
he
walks
around,
and
missing
one
finger
on
his
right
hand.
He
stays
busy
with
physical
therapy
appointments,
though,
and
says
AIG
has
done
a
fine
job
handling
his
health
care—a
sign,
perhaps,
that
workers
injured
more
recently
won’t
face
the
same
kinds
of
troubles
as
those
injured
earlier
in
the
war.
55
56
”I
don’t
have
hardly
any
fight
in
me
no
more.
I’m
getting
too
old,
too
beaten
down.”
Eddie
Barker,
52
Trucker,
KBR
Worked
in
Iraq
October
2005‐January
2006
Neck
injury
from
falling
bulletproof
truck
window
57
Eddie
Barker
didn’t
know
what
hit
him.
Pain
that
sudden
and
intense—it
could’ve
been
a
gunshot,
or
maybe
an
IED
blast.
“All
I
knew
was,
I
was
getting
hurt,”
he
says.
What
hit
Eddie
was
the
bulletproof
glass
window
from
the
truck
he
was
driving,
a
prototype
of
an
armored
KBR
truck.
He’d
been
standing
beside
the
truck
on
the
ground,
when
the
three‐inch‐thick
window
fell
off
its
hinges
and
landed
on
the
top
of
his
head,
digging
a
large
gash
on
his
forehead
and
compressing
his
spine.
He’d
been
in
Iraq
a
little
more
than
two
months,
hauling
in
convoys
between
bases,
hoping
to
make
enough
money
to
pay
for
his
family’s
new
home
in
rural
Maryland.
Stricken
by
the
same
sort
of
chronic
back
pain
that’s
troubling
David
Boiles,
Eddie
spends
his
days
at
home,
unable
to
walk
much
and
keeping
his
Oxycontin
dosage
high
to
regulate
the
pain.
Worst
of
all,
he
says—worse
than
the
physical
pain
or
the
thought
of
his
tough
luck
in
Iraq—is
the
way
he’s
been
treated
by
AIG.
Many
injured
conctractors
have
become
amateur
experts
on
obscure
areas
of
federal
law,
and
Barker
is
no
exception—his
greatest
frustration,
he
says,
is
the
legal
protection
offered
AIG
under
the
Employee
Retirement
Income
Security
Act
of
1974
(ERISA),
which,
simply
put,
protects
insurance
companies
from
claims
of
wrongdoing
if
they
deny
a
claim.
Represented
by
Robert
Walsh,
a
DBA
attorney
in
Newport
News,
Virginia,
Eddie
says
he’s
been
jumping
through
legal
hoops
since
he
got
back,
and
feels
like
AIG
is
seizing
on
any
opportunity
they
can
to
cut
off
his
disability
checks.
The
company
has
started
and
then
cut
them
off
numerous
times,
he
says.
“If
my
paychecks
were
coming
the
way
they
were
supposed
to
be
coming,
it’s
fine,
but
now
that
it’s
stopped….”
58
Eddie
trails
off
frequently,
and
even
when
he’s
telling
the
story
of
his
injury,
he
speaks
slowly,
staring
straight
ahead,
as
if
talking
through
a
mental
haze.
His
anger
toward
AIG
is
intense,
but
there’s
a
great
deal
of
resignation
in
his
voice
as
well.
Just
a
week
before
my
visit
to
his
house,
he’d
called
his
doctor’s
office
and
told
the
receptionist
he
was
done
fighting.
He’d
gotten
his
gun
and,
with
his
family
out
of
the
house,
was
contemplating
suicide.
The
nurse
put
him
on
hold
and
called
the
state
troopers,
who
came
to
his
house
to
talk
him
down.
After
things
developed
into
a
brief
standoff,
Eddie
was
led
away
in
handcuffs.
“My
daddy
used
to
tell
me,
‘Boy,
you’re
meaner
than
a
wompus
cat,’”
Eddie
says.
“I
used
to
have
a
lot
of
fight
in
me.
But
I
don’t
have
hardly
any
fight
in
me
no
more.
I’m
getting
to
feel
too
old,
too
beaten
down.”
59
”It
doesn’t
really
matter
where
you’re
at,
after
PTSD
is
there.
It’s
always
there.”
Wallace
McNabb,
53
Trucker,
KBR
Worked
in
Iraq
October
2004‐March
2005,
August
2005‐March
2006,
September
2007,
July
2008
Gunshot
wounds,
PTSD;
foot
injury
suffered
on‐base
60
“I
hate
days
like
today,”
Wallace
says.
It’s
cold,
wet
and
overcast
outside
in
Mankato,
the
northern
Kansas
town
where
he
grew
up.
We’re
sitting
in
the
living
room
of
his
mother’s
house,
where
Wallace
lives
now
that
he’s
back
from
his
third
stint
working
in
Iraq.
The
walls
are
covered
in
photos
of
family
members
in
uniform,
including
Wallace,
who
was
in
the
Army
in
the
late
‘70s.
Also
framed
and
hanging
on
the
wall
is
his
Defense
of
Freedom
medal,
which
he
received
after
being
shot
in
March
2005.
He
and
his
mother
have
been
canning
pears
picked
from
the
trees
in
the
backyard;
dozens
of
jars
sit
on
the
kitchen
counter.
It’s
the
kind
of
activity
Wallace
says
he
needs
when
he’s
home
now—anything
to
stay
occupied,
to
keep
his
mind
off
the
war.
He
put
9,000
miles
on
his
Harley
right
after
he
got
back
from
Iraq
the
last
time,
visiting
friends
in
Colorado,
riding
up
to
Milwaukee.
Gray,
quiet
days
like
this,
he’s
stuck
inside
and
his
mind
wanders
back
to
Iraq.
He’s
drawn
back
to
the
place—not
only
for
the
patriotic
call,
the
sense
of
duty,
but
also
for
the
adrenaline
rush
that
comes
from
the
work.
As
much
as
he
dreads
the
place,
he
misses
the
rush
that
came
with
gearing
up
for
a
convoy
outside
the
wire.
He
joined
up
with
KBR
early
in
the
war,
and
after
he
was
shot
he
decided
to
go
back
as
soon
as
he
was
well
enough
to
drive.
His
worker’s
compensation
claim
61
was
still
sitting
in
court
when
he
flew
back.
“It’s
like
getting
back
on
the
horse,”
Wallace
says,
“I
thought
it
would
help.
But
I
haven’t
gotten
any
better.”
Wallace
knew
he
was
suffering
from
PTSD
when
he
got
back
to
Kansas
the
first
time.
He’d
have
flashbacks,
trouble
sleeping,
those
telltale
symptoms.
He
was
shot
at
again
after
he
returned
to
Iraq,
but
says
those
experiences
were
just
as
traumatic
for
him
as
times
he’d
get
startled
back
home—when,
for
instance,
a
woman
dropped
a
plastic
water
jug
full
of
coins
on
the
floor
behind
him
at
the
bank.
“It
really
doesn’t
matter
where
you’re
at,
after
PTSD
is
there.
It’s
always
there,”
he
says.
62
”They
don’t
need
to
worry
about
me.
They
need
to
worry
about
the
guys
that
aren’t
getting
help.”
Tate
Mallory,
36
Police
trainer,
Dyncorp
Worked
in
Iraq
July‐October
2006
RPG
entry/exit
wounds
63
Tate
Mallory,
a
South
Dakota
police
veteran
injured
in
Iraq
when
an
RPG
flew
through
his
Humvee
seat
and
punched
a
hole
in
his
abdomen,
considers
himself
incredibly
lucky.
That
may
say
more
about
the
contractors
he’s
met
who’ve
had
to
fight
long
battles
in
court
for
their
insurance
benefits,
but
is
says
plenty
about
his
attitude
and
resolve,
too.
After
14
years
in
police
departments
around
South
Dakota,
Tate
joined
Dyncorp
to
recruit
and
train
a
new
Iraqi
police
force.
He
liked
the
work,
but
he
only
narrowly
escaped
with
his
life—he
credits
the
Marines
accompanying
his
Humvee,
who
were
able
to
stop
his
intense
bleeding
with
copious
amounts
of
QuikClot.
He
returned
home
to
a
new
girlfriend,
Kari,
who
he
met
online
while
in
Iraq,
and
who
tracked
him
down
at
the
hospital
in
Germany
after
he
failed
to
reply
to
her
emails.
While
he
slowly
recovered
in
the
hospital,
she
was
there
to
support
him
through
some
of
his
darkest
times.
He
remembers
now
how
he’d
yell
and
tell
her
to
get
out,
in
the
depths
of
his
depression,
not
knowing
how
well
he’d
recover.
“It
was
like
watching
his
spirit
die
right
in
front
of
me,”
Kari
recalls.
64
A
Dyncorp
representative
met
him
at
the
hospital,
he
says,
and
helped
him
through
his
insurance
claims
and
worker’s
compensation
paperwork.
It’s
just
the
kind
of
support
he’s
heard
truck
drivers
lament
they
never
received.
As
his
body
recovered
and
he
became
more
active,
he
says,
the
depression
passed
too.
Thoughts
about
how
close
he
came
to
dying
still
come
back
to
him
from
time
to
time,
but
today
Tate
feels
like
he’s
come
out
the
other
side
of
a
long,
dark
tunnel.
He’s
enrolled
in
classes
at
the
University
of
South
Dakota,
just
down
the
street
from
his
house
in
Vermillion,
and
is
working
on
a
degree
that
will
let
him
teach
police
training
courses
in
the
classroom.
65
“I
was
an
infantryman
in
Vietnam,
and
special
forces.
I
had
a
lot
of
pride.
And
now
look.”
Clyde
Nipper,
60
Trucker,
KBR
Worked
in
Iraq
November
2004‐November
2005
Massive
head
injuries
from
an
IED
blast
under
his
truck
66
It
was
to
be
Clyde
Nipper’s
last
convoy
outside
the
wire—one
last
run
through
Baghdad
down
to
Kuwait,
before
moving
to
a
cushy,
high‐paying
job
on‐base.
At
56
years
old,
he’d
already
spent
decades
driving
trucks,
then
organizing
trucking
operations,
and
just
before
he
left
for
Iraq,
teaching
students
how
to
drive
big
trucks.
When
he
landed
in
Iraq,
Nipper
says
he
was
surprised
KBR
was
placing
him
in
a
basic
trucking
job.
With
management
experience
and
a
nearly
finished
Master’s
degree
in
business,
he
says
he
was
overqualified.
A
full
year
into
his
tour,
he
was
finally
being
handed
the
promotion
he
says
recruiters
told
him
he’d
receive
as
soon
as
he
landed
in
Iraq,
a
higher
paying
job
in
the
relative
safety
of
Camp
Anaconda,
or
inside
another
American
post.
First,
though,
Nipper
had
one
more
run
to
make.
He
drove
a
heavy
equipment
carrier,
a
hefty
rig
that
takes
two
people
to
operate
(the
same
kind
Fred
Gaus
drove).
That
truck
always
fell
into
the
rear
end
of
the
convoy
–
normally
a
safe
place
to
be
when
the
biggest
concerns
are
IEDs
waiting
in
the
road
ahead.
In
the
earliest
hours
of
the
morning,
rumbling
down
the
streets
of
Baghdad,
Nipper
was
looking
ahead—thinking
about
his
new
job,
more
money,
safety
and
a
chance
to
finish
paying
off
his
home
in
Salt
Lake
City,
to
finish
what
he’d
come
here
to
do.
Then
he
caught
a
glimpse
of
someone
leaping
out
at
his
left
and
hurling
something
under
his
truck.
The
explosion
ripped
gaping
holes
in
his
truck,
sent
shrapnel
hurtling
into
his
face.
Furious,
and
probably,
he
says
now,
in
shock,
Nipper
broke
formation
with
the
convoy
and
chased
his
attacker
for
half
a
block.
“He
was
off
to
the
side
of
the
road,”
Nipper
recalls.
“The
truck
died
out
on
me
before
I
got
him.
The
military
came
in
after
the
truck
stopped
and
took
us
out.”
67
Weeks
later,
soldiers
told
Clyde’s
wife
how
they
found
his
left
eye
dangling
out
of
its
socket;
they
had
to
put
it
back
in
place
and
wrap
his
head
in
gauze.
Even
then,
slumped
beside
his
broken‐down
truck,
Nipper
was
in
such
shock
that
he
lit
up
a
cigarette
while
he
waited
to
be
hauled
away.
A
medic
returned
with
a
knockout
dose
of
morphine,
and
for
the
next
few
weeks
Clyde
hopscotched
from
Baghdad
to
Utah,
as
surgeons
at
each
stop
worked
to
save
his
life.
Clyde
is
a
markedly
different
man
today
than
he
was
before
the
attack.
An
infantryman
in
Vietnam
and
a
Green
Beret
in
National
the
Guard,
Utah
he
spent
decades
handling
transportation
logistics—complicated
work
that
kept
him
working
long
hours—or
long‐haul
trucking
because
the
pay
was
better,
which
kept
him
away
from
home
even
more.
The
job
in
Iraq
was
going
to
be
his
last
one,
the
big
paycheck
that’d
cover
the
mortgage
and
a
comfortable
retirement
with
his
wife
Kristine.
After
the
brain
damage
Clyde
received
in
the
blast,
he’s
not
only
unable
to
work,
but
unable
to
care
for
himself.
He
has
seizures,
reads
and
writes
at
a
fifth‐grade
level,
and
has
very
little
short‐term
memory.
Kristine
takes
care
of
him
full‐time.
“I
tell
people
that
I
have
part
man
and
part
12‐year‐old,”
she
says.
“I’m
sure
it
doesn’t
do
a
whole
lot
for
his
ego.”
68
Clyde
sees
the
change
in
himself.
“I
was
an
infantryman
in
Vietnam,
and
special
forces
out
of
there.
I
had
a
lot
of
pride,”
he
says.
“And
now
look.”
Clyde
points
out
the
place
where
there’s
a
gap
between
the
metal
plate
in
his
head
and
his
skull.
In
photos
taken
just
after
one
of
his
brain
operations,
his
head
looks
sunken‐in
at
that
spot;
now,
with
his
white
hair
grown
back,
there’s
just
a
hint
of
asymmetry
to
his
head.
He
still
has
shrapnel
from
the
blast
in
his
head,
behind
his
false
left
eye.
“They
said
it
acts
like
a
plug
in
his
brain,
so
they’re
afraid
to
take
it
out,”
Kristine
says.
“They’ll
just
leave
it
in
and
the
body
will
eventually
encapsulate
it.”
The
biggest
of
Clyde’s
health
problems
now
are
the
seizures
he’s
been
getting—severe
ones
every
few
months,
minor
ones
more
often.
After
the
last
big
one,
he
slept
almost
an
entire
day.
His
medication
and
other
health
care
has
been
covered
so
far,
but
Kristine
worries
that
his
benefits
will
be
cut
off,
as
his
case
worker
has
suggested
they
might,
since
it’s
been
so
long
since
the
injury.
Kristine’s
health
insurance
cut
off
once
KBR
laid
Clyde
off.
She
says
taking
care
of
Clyde
is
her
full‐time
job,
since
he
has
trouble
walking
some
days,
and
can’t
drive
himself
to
the
doctor.
Once
while
Kristine
was
at
the
hospital
with
Clyde,
the
pressure
boiled
over
and
she
suffered
a
panic
attack
with
severe
chest
pains—she
was
admitted
on
the
spot,
and
has
been
taking
medication
for
her
heart
ever
since.
Instead
of
paying
off
their
mortgage,
the
couple
has
refinanced
their
house
in
the
years
since
Clyde
returned.
Clyde
spends
his
days
in
the
backyard,
watching
movies
on
a
portable
DVD
player,
and
taking
medication
to
control
his
seizures
when
Kristine
reminds
him.
“She
has
a
lot
of—I
don’t
know
what
you
want
to
call
it,”
he
says,
“to
stay
with
me
and
deal
with
this.
There’s
got
to
be
a
whole
lot
of
love
there
somewhere.”
69
IV.
Appendix:
Selected
Interview
Transcripts
Darrin
Hays,
Interviewed
August
11,
2008,
in
Las
Vegas,
Nevada
00:20
You
start
thinking,
workers’
comp
for
four
years.
You
start
thinking
you’re
a
burden.
It’s
hard
to
do
much
of
anything.
Like,
I
knew
in
advance
that
I’d
be
talking
to
you,
so
I
kind
of
planned
my
day
to
do
nothing
yesterday,
so
Icoudl
get
up
and
do
this
today.
In
a
couple
hours,
there’s
a
pain
that
radiates
down
my
right
side,
it’s
the
sciatic
nerve.
It
comes
right
up,
all
the
way
around,
wraps
around
the
front
of
my
leg
and
comes
right
down
to
my
toe,
and
it
just,
it’s
just
an
ache,
a
pulling.
1:12
I’ll
feel
a
needle
somewhere
in
my
leg.
And
what
can
you
do?
I
do
Ibuprofen.
I
do
Lortabs,
but
they
make
me
sick.
But
Istill
do.
I
have
to
pop
em
every
os
often.
I
have
a
presciriptoin
for
two
a
day.
There
are
some
days
I
can
split
it
up
and
do
one,
other
days
I
need
three.
1:50
Today
I
actually
feel
pretty
good
because
I
took
off
all
yesterday,
but
come
tonight,
I’m
gonna
be
hurtin.
It’s
a
lot
of
the
sitting.
If
I
could
sit
like
this,
keep
the
leg
almost
straight,
it
would
be
a
lot
better.
But
what
happens
is,
no
more
than
an
hour
nad
then
I
gotta
either
stand
or
lay
down.
2:45
Sure,
it
was
horrible
after
the
surgeries
and
all
that,
but
what’s
amazing
is,
it
hasn’t
gotten
any
better.
And
I
was
fitted
for
a
–
it’s
a
spinal
cord
stimulator.
They
put
you
on
a
table,
and
they
inject
you
with
some
stuff
to
relax
you,
but
you’re
still
awake.
Then
you
sit
there
and
they
put
these
needles
in
your
back,
and
inside
the
needle
they
have
this
little
electrode,
and
the
electrode
is
left
in
there
on
both
sides
,and
they
keep
the
electrodes
in
there
and
they
tape
over
your
body
so
it
doesn’t
move.
And
it’s
pretty
much
some
wires
and
you
dial
left
or
right,
whichever
one
you
need
more,
as
far
as
more
electricity.
And
it’s
this
–
you
ever
held
onto
one
of
those
machines
that
puts
the
current
through
your
body?
It’s
this
odd
electrical
tingle.
And
it
goes
down
your
left
or
your
right
side.
It
will
trick
your
body
into
not
feeling
the
pain.
Just
feel
the
tingle.
I
felt
both
–
I
felt
the
odd
tingling
and
the
pain.
70
4:42
Apparently
when
the
y
rolled
me
off
the
table,
one
of
the
electrodes
came
out.
Somewhere
in
my
spinal
cord
it
pulled
out,
and
I
could
feel
it
somewhere
in
my
stomach.
All
these
shocks,
you
know.
I
thought
it
was
a
horrible
failure,
and
they
said,
the
doctor,
oh
did
you
get
relief?
I
said,
I
guess…
I
was
under
sedation.
They
wanted
me
to
do
it
again,
but
then
I
saw
this
other
doctor.
5:00
I
didn’t
pick
them,
my
case
worker
picked
him.
I
asked
him,
what
would
you
do?
He
says,
I
can’t
tell
you
what
to
do.
5:35
The
DOL
stayed
out
of
it
for
a
long
time.
It
was
in
NY,
then
they
moved
it
to
San
Francisco.
There’s
a
Maria
Mayrand,
she’s
the
dept,
my
contact
at
the
DOL.
And
she’s
really
nice
too,
I’ve
talked
to
her
a
couple
of
times.
7:23
In
four
years
I’ve
been
getting
worker’s
comp,
but
I
always
–
number
one,
I
always
feel
guilty.
Everyone
says,
why?
Because,
I,
I
do.
And
then
when
you
think
about
4
years,
that
seems
like
a
big
drain.
So
there’s
some
guilt
there.
And
then
you
always
think
,well
they
could
pull
it
any
time.
What
if
they
decide
to
stop
sending
checks.
And
then
what
do
you
do?
How
do
you
feel
your
family?
So
there’s
always
this
fear.
Always,
there’s
this
fear.
8:04
Beacause,
they
could
pay
hardball,
the
insurance
company.
Esis
(insurance
company),
and
they’re
a
division
of
ACE,
I
guess.
I
tell
you
what
I’ve
been
so
fortunate,
because
I
hear
the
horror
stories.
I
was
so
blessed
to
have
an
insurance
company
that
played
by
the
rules
and
didn’t
shirk
their
responsibilities.
They’ve
never
missed
a
weekly
check.
11:26
71
I
felt
pretty
good
that
out
of
the
two
guys
that
know
it
the
best,
they
work
together.
They
hear
each
other’s
cases.
That
made
me
feel
a
lot
better
that
I
went
in
with
the
right
person.
Cause
this
is
it,
this
is
the
one
shot.
Just
think
what
happens
if
–
I
still
don’t
know
what
happens.
We
go
in,
we
have
a
hearing,
they
say,
‘Ah
you’re
fine,
go
back
to
work,
whatever.’
And
that’s
scary.
12:00
Because
I
could
walk
in
there
and
they
could
say,
how
come
you
can’t
work?
You
look
fine.
You
look
great.
12:25
They
could
just
say,
you
look
good
to
me.
You
could
do
a
home‐based
business.
13:00
I’m
always
at
my
worst
when
I’m
driving
because
it
means
that
I’m
not
taking
the
medication.
I
could
take
the
ibuprofen,
but
I’m
not
taking
the
Loritab.
So
how
do
you
function
everyday
when
you
have
to
drive
to
work,
and
pop
pills,
and
then
you’re
on
the
road
under
the
influence.
Ah!
It’s
just
a
huge
cycle
of,
what
do
you
do?
13:30
I’d
love
to
get
into
other
things,
in
fact
I’ve
been
investing
in
a
restaurant
group.
Hey
you
guys,
I’ll
help
fund
it,
cause
I
had
a
little
extra
money
from
being
in
Iraq,
and
you
guys
just
send
me
some
money
when
you
start
making
it.
And
they
haven’t
yet
because
the
economy’s
been
in
a
downturn.
But
just
don’t
close
your
doors.
What
do
you
do?
14:10
In
fact
I’ve
got
two
kids
–
that
was
a
tough
thing
to
do
–
I’ve
got
two
kids
since
then.
When
I
got
back
from
Iraq,
life
was
so
cheap
over
there,
it
became
very
very
important
to
me.
Especially
when
you
come
back
injured.
So
it’s
been
pretty
difficult,
but
we
tried
and
we
obviously
succeeded
in
having
a
couple
kids.
And
that
worked
out
very
nice.
14:45
And
it’s
pretty
much
the
sole
purpose,
just
having
kids,
because
trying
to
make
love
to
your
wife
like
this
–
it’s
just
–
she’s
a
saint.
You
obviously
have
to
manipulate
72
things
in
your
environment,
but
I’m
just
saying
–
I’m
not
getting
all
crazy
and
everything.
15:10
I’ve
got
one
who’s
just
about
to
be
one
year
old,
and
got
another
that’s
3,
3
½
almost
four.
My
wife
is
a
flight
attendant
for
Southwest
Airlines.
She
leaves,
and
her
mom
will
fly
out
from
Phoenix,
or
my
mom
will
fly
out
from
Phoenix
to
watch
the
kids.
I
can’t
pick
them
up.
If
something
happens…
What
happens
if
dad’s
in
so
much
pain
that
he
can’t
get
in
the
car
and
drive,
or
he
took
a
pill.
16:40
Other
than
a
really
screwed
up
body,
I’m
in
good
health.
17:00
I’ve
been
considered,
since
December
10th
of
’07,
I’ve
been
considered
MMI.
Maximum
Medically
Improved.
It
means,
we
can’t
do
anything
more
for
you.
We
can
give
you
drugs,
and
treat
the
pain,
but
we
can’t
do
anything
more.
Which
I
think
is
a
crock.
Because
I’ve
never
done
acupuncture
or
acupressure,
or
chiromanipulation,
or
anything
like
that.
And
I’m
not
saying
that
those
are
going
to
be
great,
btu
at
least
it
would’ve
been
something
to
try
instead
of
just
washing
your
hands
of
me,
which
is
kind
of
what
I
feel
like.
Red‐headed
stepchild
kind
of
thing.
18:17
So
on
October
7th,
what’s
going
ot
happen
is
the
insurance
company’s
going
to
hav
their
attorney,
andI
have
my
attorney,
and
they
go
in
front
of
these
administrative
law
judges.
And
I
guess
they
hear
the
case
and
make
a
ruling.
And
I
don’t
know
how
long
it
takes
to
make
a
ruling
or
anything
like
that.
I
just
know
that
they’re
gonna
hear
it,
here
in
Vegas.
And
at
some
point,
a
hearing’s
going
to
come
out
as
to
what
I
can
do,
or
what
they
think
I
can
do.
18:56
Like
I
say,
Gary
Pitts
seems
pretty
confident.
He
says,
Darrin,
I
wouldn’t
have
taken
your
case
unless
I
felt
like
it
was
going
to
be
fruitful.
Even
if
they
think
you
can
do
a
part‐time
–
even
if
they
said
you
have
the
ability
to
make
this
much
income,
ultimately
you
take
what
you’d
been
making
before
in
the
same
field,
and
you
try
and
put
it
into
something
oyu
can
do
now,
you’re
not
gonna
lose
a
whole
lot
of
benefit.
Very
positive,
but
until
it
happens
you’ve
always
got
that…
That’s
how
much
worker’s
comp
gives
is
2/3
of
that
amount.
Right
now
I
make
a
thousand
[a
week].
73
23:40
I
feel
like
I
–
I
don’t
really
know
what
happens.
I
feel
like
I
can
lose
everything.
I
really
do.
I
feel
like,
if
I
get
in
my
car
and
I
go
to
the
bar,
because
I
tell
you
what,
it’s
a
lot
easier
to
pop
a
couple
ibuprofen
and
drink
two
beers
than
it
is
to
take
a
lortab,
your
stomach
being
what
it
is.
Because
it
still
takes
the
edge
off.
I
feel
the
pain,
but
it
takes
the
edge
off.
24:20
But
I
always
feel
like
there’s
someone
looking
at
me,
from
the
insurance
company.
Look,
he
can
do
that.
Look,
he’s
meeting
that
guy,
he’s
standing
right
there.
You
always
think,
there’s
someone
out
there
looking
at
me,
watcihing.
Cause
you
always
see
those
morons
that
sure
somebody
for
something,
and
you
see
them
out
there
doing
yardwork,
throwing
hay
bales
or
dancing
at
a
party.
One
lady
they
showed
the
other
day,
she
won
a
million
dollars
in
a
suit,
nad
three
months
later
you
see
her
crossing
the
finish
line
at
a
marathon.
25:20
So
they
can
misconstrue
it.
They
think
oh
look,
he
can
obviously
take
out
the
garbage,
so
he
can
be
a
garbage
man.
That
doesn’t
make
any
sense.
I
can
do
it
one
time,
twice
a
week.
So
there’s
always
the
fear.
So
October
7th
is
supposed
to
be
the
day,
I
fele
like
I
can
lose
everything.
26:00
They’d
much
rather
say,
here’s
400,000
dollars,
would
you
like
to
be
done
with
it?
That
seems
like
a
windfall,
but
at
the
same
time,
with
my
back
and
neck,
over
the
course
of
a
lifetime
if
I
live
to
be
70,
I
got
30
more
and
I
can’t
do
anything.
Nobody
will
insure
me.
It’s
absolutely
nothing.
Cause
ultimately,
it’s
almost
embarrassing,
it’s
2
million
dollars
over
the
course
of
a
lifetime.
27:15
So
the
first
injury
was
march
27
of
2004.
I
had
been
in
country
for
about
three
months
–
I
had
a
four
month
contract
and
I’d
renew
every
four
months.
So
about
three
motnhs
in,
we
–
I’m
a
prison
warden,
and
I’m
what’s
called
a
prison
adviser.
So
I’m
teaching
the
colonel
in
the
Iraqi
military
and
all
his
people
how
to
be
corrections
officials
–
whether
it’s
corrections
officers,
corrections
administrators,
this
is
what
I
do.
I
teach
them
to
run
the
facility,
as
well
as
building
facilities.
28:06
74
So
Marc
h27
we
get
out
to
the
facility,
that
one
is
called
Al
Khadimiya.
And
it’s
in
northern
Baghdad.
So
naturally
we
go
through
Indian
country,
do
that
every
day,
through
a
street
called
Haifa
street.You
ever
look
up
Haifa
street
in
Baghdad
–
we
travel
up
that
thing
every
day.
I’d
find
5
or
6
different
ways
to
do
it
every
day,
just
cause
I
didn’t
want
to
telepath
it
every
single
day.
I’d
do
it
different
ways,
and
sometimes
people’d
be
freaked
out
because
they
didn’t
know
where
they
were.
Sometimes
I
didn’t
either.
29:00
Whenever
we’d
get
caught
in
a
traffic
jam,
gigantic
buildings
everywhere,
donkey
carts.
You’re
freaked,
because
you’re
providing
your
own
security
in
a
soft‐shell
vehicle.
It’s
just
two
vehicles,
I
mean
we
are
quick
on
the
trigger.
29:18
Two
little
cars,
they
called
them
Nissan
patrols,
pretty
much
a
Pathfinder.
With
a
suped
up
engine,
but
a
stick
shift.
Now
imagine
this,
you
got
an
AK‐47
with
a
pistol
grip.
Because
you
can’t
have
an
extended
rifle…
And
we’re
in
soft
shells.
I’m
trying
to
draw
my
weapon
out
across
the
nose
of
any
threat…[gets
more
enthusiastic
describing
it,
bangs
on
table]…
and
we’re
providing
our
own
security.
We
didn’t
have
a
lot
of
time,
we
had
to
make
things
happen
without
waiting
for
the
military.
30:22
So
anyway,
I
get
to
the
facility.
We
housed
about
300
iraqi
prisoners,
prisoners
of
war.
Whatever,
what
we
did
is
try
and
classify
them,
fingerprinting,
pictures,
background,
who
they
were.
Try
to
create
some
kind
of
information
that
could
transfer
to
the
military
database.
We’d
let
them
know
who
we
had.
We’d
try
to
just
get
the
guys
who
were
thieves
and
murderers,
and
we
had
a
lot
of
murderers
in
our
place.
But
they
weren’t
necessarily
crimes
against
the
coalition.
Pretty
much
crimes
against
everyone
else,
other
Iraqis.
31:44
What’s
great
about
Saddam
–
and
Saddam
was
pretty
bad
–
but
he
could
manage
people
through
fear
and
intimidation.
We’d
give
thme
nidce
cots,
we’d
give
them
toothbrushes,
they’ve
never
brushed
their
teeth
in
their
life.
We’d
give
them
underwear,
they’ve
never
worn
underwear
in
their
life.
We’d
give
them
beds,
they’ve
never
slept
above
ground
level
in
their
life.
And
what
do
they
do
with
it?
They
make
weapons.
They
tear
apart
the
beds
and
the
metal.
They
tear
up
the
underwear
and
make
slingshots
and
bows
to
use
against
us.
But
we
had
to
under
geneve
convention.
32:45
75
So
we’re
in
these
old
prisons,
they’re
really
beat
up.
And
they’d
try
and
escape
all
the
time.
Dig
out,
climb
out
on
the
roof.
We’re
not
there
usually
at
night.
We
had
to
go
back
to
our
hotel,
which
is
in
the
red
zone
in
Baghdad.
The
Baghdad
hotel
–
that’s
where
we
stayed
the
first
two
months.
Then
the
al
sadir,
which
is
way
into
Indian
country,
toward
Sadr
City.
34:00
So
we
get
there,
the
guys
are
escaping.
And
the
Americans
come
in,
there
were
six
of
us,
I’m
the
warden
and
I
have
some
other
trainers
that
are
training
and
like
a
captain.
So
I
have
a
captain
and
some
trainers.
And
they
say,
oh
the
Americans
are
here.
34:36
So
sure
enough,
we
have
an
escape.
One
particular
inmate
breaks
out
of
his
cell,
and
I’m
not
supposed
to
be
engaging
them,
I’m
the
frickin’
warden.
But
I’m
like,
I’m
gonna
show
them
how
we
do
it.
So
the
guy
jumps
around,
it’s
probably
noon,
but
there’s
no
windows
in
the
center
of
it.
There’s
windows
in
the
side,
but
for
the
most
part
it’s
pretty
dark
if
you
don’t
have
lights.
35:04
Well,
the
guy’s
running
down
the
hall,
and
I
go
after
him.
Cause
he’s
a
rabbit
and
I’m
the
dog,
and
this
is
what
we
do:
we
chase.
He
jumps
up
and
the
lighting
systems
have
wiring
and
he
jumps
up
and
tears
the
wiring
down.
So
I’m
thinking,
he’s
either
trying
ot
get
away
or
he’s
trying
to
hang
himself
or
he’s
trying
to
use
it
as
a
weapon,
I
don’t
know.
So
he
takes
it
and
the
lights
go
out.
Aw
crap,
here
we
go.
We
all
have
flashlights.
35:33
I’m
already
in
full
chase.
I
just
tackle
him,
bring
him
down,
wham.
One
of
my
other
trainers
grabs
his
legs,
and
we
subdue
him.
I
get
up
and
my
neck
is
just
on
fire.
Just
like
that.
I
mean,
it
was
just
like
textbook
dropped
him,
get
up
and
it’s
just
heat.
And
so
what
do
I
do,
we
get
him
subdued,
we
get
him
to
the
Iraqis.
I
have
a
nice
smile
on
my
face
and
I
say,
get
me
the
hell
out
of
here.
They
walk
me
out,
I
just
go
sit
down
and
I
said,
I’m
just
gonna
sit
here
for
like
30
minutes
,and
I
relax,
try
to
get
that
going
and
nothing.
Wasn’t
feeling
any
relief.
36:30
So
we
all
took
off,
went
to
another
prison
and
I’m
just
sitting
there,
waiting
for
this
thing
to
wear
off,
work
itself
out.
It’s
never
hurt
like
that
before
in
my
life.
I
mean,
I’ve
had
back
problems
in
my
life,
but
never…
this
was
just…
whoah.
76
36:57
I
had
done
this
for
7
½
years
before
in
the
states.
And
I
was
a
warden
in
phoenix.
37:17
It
didn’t
wear
off,
and
I
ended
up
going
to
a
combat
support
hospital
in
the
green
zone.
And
I’m
sitting
there,
and
I’m
seeing
the
helicopters
rolling
in,
guys
with
no
arms,
eyeballs
popped
out.
Their
heads
are
just
crushed,
rolled
over…
and
I’m
complaining
about
my
poor
neck.
My
neck
hurts.
And
I
mean,
I
just
felt
like
a
douchebag.
What
am
I
doing?
38:40
So
the
kiss
of
death
in
any
of
these
is
to
go
home
–
to
go
home
injured
or
to
go
home
early.
You
want
to
fulfill
the
end
of
your
contract.
You
want
to.
They
make
you
do
it
if
you
ever
want
to
work
for
them
again.
So
I
wrote
my
reports,
did
what
I
had
to
as
far
as
the
injury,
but
I
stayed
on.
39:00
Well
about
a
month
on,
three
days
later,
it
was
april
30th
and
we’re
driving
and
this
time
we
do
have
military
escort.
A
couple
of
humvees
in
front
of
us.
We
were
leaving
–
khadimiya
again,
and
headed
to
eastinbrah
–
it’s
the
Arabic
word
for
military
intelligence.
It
pretty
much
meant
that
if
you
were
in
prison
and
you
went
there,
you
weren’t
coming
back.
Because
they
did
all
the
torture
there.
That’s
where
the
military
intelligence
and
the
interrogation
for
the
most
part.
40:00
We
got
word
there
was
an
IED
up
ahead
of
us,
they
jumped
over
the
medians.
One
thing
that
Saddam
did
too,
was
he
knew
people
wouldn’t
obey
normal
traffic
laws.
There’s
no
licensing.
So
he
made
the
medians
this
high
–
well,
the
Humvees
went
right
over
it,
so
my
boss
driving
the
car
–
and
there
were
six
of
us.
We’re
not
in
a
Patrol
anymore,
we’re
in
an
armored
vehicle,
it’s
an
armored
Excursion.
Super
heavy.
We
could
only
roll
down
the
windows
this
far
because
it’s
bullet
proof
glass
that’d
stop
an
AK.
41:10
And
again,
like
a
rabbit,
you
follow
it.
Wham!
We
hit,
it
throws
me.
I’m
in
Kevlar,
I
got
my
weapon
I
got
my
strike
plates.
I
got
a
lot
of
gear
on.
You’re
never
wearing
seat
betls
over
there,
in
case
you’ve
got
to
extract
yourself
in
a
hurry.
That’s
why
people
die
all
the
time
over
there,
they
can’t
wear
seatb
betls.
41:50
77
We
turn
to
the
righ,t
and
it’s
just
a
freak
accident.
We’re
in
the
far
back.
I
get
sprung
up
and
twisted
at
the
same
time
because
we’re
turning.
And
there’s
a
gal—heavier
gal—who’s
one
of
the
trainers,
and
she
gets
bounced
into
me.
And
she’s
getting
thrown
into
me.
42:30
They
stopped
for
a
second
because
they
saw
me,
just
BOING.
It
felt
like
my
neck
kind
of
–
I
still
always
felt
the
heat,
but
this
time
there
goes
the
back.
I
didn’t
know
I
had
a
shoulder
problem
because
I’m
really
weak
in
it.
I’m
left
handed.
43:15
I
went
to
a
sports
physical
therapist
when
I
got
back,
who
went
here
do
this,
and
he
said
uh‐uh.
He
said
you
should
be
able
to
do
this,
you’re
more
messed
up
than
you
think.
43:30
So
anyway,
stupid
freak
accidents
on
both
of
them.
Almost
embarrassing
to
have
to
say
it.
You
know
instead
of
saying,
I
got
ti
in
a
combat.
Yeah
I’d
love
to
be
able
to
give
you
some
real
crazy
wild
story
where
we
came
out
victorious
and
I
was
injured
and
I’m
a
war
hero.
44:t05
Both
times
there
were
reports
done
and
all
that.
Thank
goodness
there
was
always
a
lot
of
documentation.
I
worked
for
a
company
called
SAIC
–
Science
Applications
International
Corporation.
They’re
out
of
san
Diego.
44:25
Usually
they’re
computer
people.
They
have
various
patents
they
set
up,
that
kind
of
thing.
They
started
dabbling
in
the
correctional
and
the
police
kind
of
realm
in
Iraq
a
far
as
advising.
We
worked
under
ICITAB
–
pretty
much
the
training
police
for
international
kind
of
stuff.
American
Department
of
Justice.
47:10
[On
dodgy
business
practices
by
insurers
and
contracting
companies]
It
is
a
lack
of
moral
responsibility
and
integrity.
47:23
I
tell
you
what,
the
one
positive
thing
is
I
do
have
two
awesome
kids,
and
that
has
been
a
lifesacer.
Because
you
get
down,
you
can’t
do
much.
And
if
you
didn’t
have
an
78
incredible
wife
and
two
kids,
you
might
be
dead.
My
wife
is
Rhonda.
My
little
girl
is
Logan
and
my
little
boy
is
Ronin.
48:12
It
has
a
lotof
meaning,
Ronin,
it’s
actually
kidn
of
funny
because
it’s
a
double
entrendre.
One,
it’s
the
beginnoing,
for
the
most
part,
of
Rhonda
and
Darrin.
The
primary
meaning
is
that
I’ts
partially
our
names,
but
if
you
know
anything
about
the
Ronin
in
Japanese
mythology.
They
had
a
master
who
was
killed,
and
what
it
has
to
do
with,
is
they
avenge
their
master’s
death,
but
in
doing
so
they
also
have
to
commit
seppuku
and
kill
themselves
because
it
wasn’t
right.
They
weren’t
supposed
to
do
that.
But
because
they
were
so
fiercely
loyal
–
and
that’s
the
number
one
thing
in
my
life
and
what
I
focus
in
on
is
fierce
loyalty.
So
his
name
is
not
only
a
mixture
of
ourtwo
names,
but
also
means
fierce
loyalty
and
also
means
masterless
samurai,
so
he
won’t
bow
to
anyone.
49:55
I’m
not
saying
skirt
the
law,
but
don’t
back
down.
Don’t
waver.
Anyway,
so
if
I
didn’t
have
them
I
would’ve
killed
mytself
easy,
cause
the
pain
sometimes
is
so
bad.
And
then
there’s
not
a
whole
lot
fo
do.
Before
I
had
them
when
I
got
back,
I
was
ust
miserable.
And
that’s
why
we
tried
so
hard.
50:40
Cause
I’d
realy
felt
like
they
would
get
me
a
reason
to
live,
they
would
give
me
purpose.
Because
I
really
iddn’t
have
oen,
I
was
just
like
a
leaf
in
the
wind,
I
didn’t
really
have
any
purpose
or
direction,
except
for
my
wife.
So
when
the
kids
came,
I
had
some
direction,
and
they’re
great.
51:05
My
normal
routine,
I
wake
up,
and
I
will
have
a
piece
of
toast
and
some
coffee
and
take
my
pills
so
I
can
sit
up
and
function.
I
have
an
wasy
chair
I
sit
in,
and
trust
me
–
I
don’t
eat
breakfast,
so
I
have
to
.I
gained
a
lot
of
weight
when
I
gto
back,
30
lbs.
I
really
had
to
start
watching
what
I
ate.
I’m
prboaoy
still
15
lbs
overwheight.
I
got
up
to
almost
200
pounds.
But
you
can’t
go
out
and
run
on
a
treadmill,
so
you
watch
what
you
eat.
52:15
But
I
tell
you
what,
I
am
a
trivia
genius
now.
I
watch
the
Discover
Channel,
History
Channel,
I’m
a
veritable
encyclopedia.
Thank
god
for
cable
and
sattelite
TV,
huh?
52:40
79
One
thing
about
Vegas
is,
you
can
actually
put
twenty
bucks
on
a
game,
and
I
don’t
care
about
the
game,
but
all
of
a
sudden
I’ve
got
twenty
buck
on
it,
and
I
care
now.
53:00
I
go
to
the
casino,
I
probably
get
there
one
a
week
or
twice
a
week
and
try
to
make
my
bets
then.
So
I’ll
go
there
and
place
some
bets,
or
go
sit
at
the
bar
and
play
a
little
bit
of
video
poker
and
have
a
beer
or
two.
If
I
have
a
couple
beers,
I
can
probably
stretch
it
to
an
hour
and
a
half,
hour
and
45
minutes
or
so.
53:40
I
tell
you
what,
I
have
met
up
with
a
lot
of
people
that
I
erallty
do
like.
I
always
thought
Vegas
is
–
there
are
some
real
messed
up
people
here.
I
didn’t
realize
there
are
some
normal,
really
great
people
here
too.
(Recounts
a
few
friends)
54:40
Lot
of
good
friends
too,
and
that’s
huge.
They’ll
call
me
and
say,
hey
don’t
do
anything
today,
because
tomorrow
we’re
going
to
go
out
and
have
a
beer
at
4:00.
And
by
5:15,
5:30,
OK
thanks
guys,
and
I
head
home.
But
it’s
nice
to
have
at
least
that
little
window.
I
tell
them
I’ll
be
standing
over
here
so
I
can
sit
for
the
second
half
of
it.
55:30
That’s
really
‐‐
I
don’t
have
much
of
a
routine.
I
want
to
be
able
to
mix
it
up,
and
that
way
every
days’
a
little
bit
different.
56:20
At
least
here
I
know
where
my
pain’s
going
to
be.
My
pain’s
going
to
be
here.
My
pain
is
going
to
be
here.
I
don’t
know
if
I
told
you
,but
I
went
through
my
throat.
They
moved
my
throat
over,
and
my
jugular
vein
and
they
put
a
plate
in
on
the
inside
of
my
spein,
instead
of
going
through
here.
They
pretty
much
went
all
the
way
through
my
neck
to
my
spine.
What
they
did
is
they
drilled
out
the
disk,
which
is
a
marrowy
kidn
of
substance,
kidn
of
spongy,
put
in
a
cadaver
disk,
a
piece
of
bone.
And
then
put
a
plate
on
the
inside
of
my
neck,
so
I’ve
got
a
plate
there.
Then
of
course,
dwon
my
leg
and
this
leg,
ti’s
weird,
it
always
has
this
numbness.
57:55
Want
to
know
the
craziest
thing?
I
don’t
know
if
I
should
be
saying
this.
I
didn’t
have
any
of
this
til
after
the
surgery.
So
they
kind
of
helped
fix
one
thing,
not
really.
It
was
on
my
back.
It
was
the
L4,
L5
and
the
S1.
58:20
80
So
they
had
to
redo
it.
I
kept
feeling
this
achniess.
You
know
after
a
workout
the
next
day,
the
lactic
acid
buildup.
So
he
does
anX‐ray
with
dye
–
we
must
have
punctured
you
on
the
way
out,
it’s
bleeding.
It’s
some
sort
of
fluid
from
your
back,
your
spinal
cord,
that’s
giving
me
headaches.
So
anyway,
I
had
that
surgery
and
they
tried
to
do
what’s
called
a
blood
pathc,
try
to
get
your
own
blood
to
coagluate
against
it.
I’ve
had
probably
over
30
procedures
–
and
I
mean
procedures
like
epidurals.
1:00:15
I’ve
gone
over
30
procedures
and
5
major
surgeries.
That
bloog
patch
didn’t
work
and
they
had
to
put
me
in
the
hostpial
again.
(Recounts
a
few
more
surgical
details).
So
then,
what
if
they
turn
around
and
say,
it’s
not
our
fault,
should’ve
done
a
malpractice
suit.
1:02:00
Caffeine
apparently
is
one
of
the
cures
of
these
migraine
headaches.
So
now
I’m
adcited
to
coffee.
I
never
drank
coffee
before.
1:03:25
It
does…
I
get
a
lot
of
it,
you
wake
up
in
the
middle
of
the
night
and
you
think
someone’s
in
your
house
coming
to
get
you.
I
don’t
know
why.
DarrinHays2
0:10
The
driving.
When
I
got
back,
because
I
was
always
the
driver,
I
always
wanted
to
be
in
control
of
my
own
life.
And
the
driving
was
the
worst,
the
hardest
thing
to
get
used
to
again,
because
now
you
have
rules,
you
had
laws.
People
were
civil.
0:48
[“You
have
the
urge
to
jump
over
to
the
other
side?”]
Yeah,
or
actually
hit
someone,
move
them.
Get
them
out
of
the
way.
Cause
there’s
a
lot
of
aggression
that
you
do.
1:00
But
that’s
the
one
thing
–
I
was
actually
walking
on
the
rooftop
of
my
prison
and
there
were
two
prisons.
Al
Qarq
was
the
juvenile
facility
that
I
was
in
charge
of.
Thre’s
apartment
buildings
in
the
background,
and
they
all
of
a
sudden
a
bullet
strikes
right
at
my
feet,
and
when
you
hear
the
gunshot
afterward
,and
that’s
when
all
the
corrections
officers,
the
guards,
thte
Iraqi
ones
get
up
there
and
just
start
81
watching
the
skyline
and
looking
for
the
guy
shooting.
They
were
trying
to
get
a
lucky
shot
on
America.
2:16
Or
you’ll
be
driving
down
the
road
and
all
of
a
suddent
–
I
have
a
picture
of
a
bullet
strike
on
a
vehicle.
Just,
they’re
taking
a
pot
shot
at
you.
So
you
have
those
and
then
of
course,
‐‐
it’s
funny
like
I
say,
your
mind
kind
of
starts
to
go.
You
remember
incidents
but
you
can’t
remember
a
lot
of
names
anymore.
I
don’t
know
if
your
mind
pushes
it
out
or
what.
3:03
The
prison
on
the
west
side
or
Baghdad,
the
notorious
one
–
Abu
Ghraib,
yes
thank
you
–
that
was
one
of
our
prisons
that
we
had
to
take
over
because
of
what
happened
that
November.
We
had
to
go
out
there
and
stay
out
there
over
a
week.
One
particular
instance
they
mounted
their
escape.
We’d
get
the
gigantic
swords
they’d
make
out
of
their
bedframes,
and
again
those
arrows
and
crossbows,
you
know
those
cheap
plastic
tables
that
they’re
molded
tables
that
are
ust
kind
of
outdoor.
They’d
use
the
elasticity
from
their
underwear
and
made
a
crossbow
and
shot
another
piece
of
metal
through
the
leg
of
that
table
and
it
stuck,
and
went
all
the
way
through
there.
4:15
So
we
have
all
these
weapons
they’re
trying
to
jump
out,
break
out,
so
they’re
all
breaking
out
and
they’re
coming.
And
we
took
our
M4s
and
just
started
laying
into
em.
And
three
dead
just
like
that.
Got
a
couple
other
guys
shot
through
the
hand,
shot
therough
the
leg,
shot
through
the
arm.
But
they’re
coming
for
you.
4:38
Or
the
military
would
have
to,
because
we
were
gone,
we
were
on
lockdown
for
whatever
reason
and
the
military
would
be
there.
And
they
kill
of
three
or
four
of
them.
And
they’d
leave
their
bodies
in
body
bags
and
say,
you
guys
deal
with
them.
And
our
freezers
didn’t
work,
so
they’d
be
sitting
there
stinking
up
the
place.
And
you
have
to
unzip
them
and
take
pictures
and
identify
them
and
they’re
sitting
there,
that
cold
kidn
of
stare
,that
glazed‐over
look
nad
smell.
5:18
It’s
like
‘crap,
what
are
we
doing?’
It’s
one
thing
when
you
see
someone
who’s
just
been
killed
because
they
look
like
they’re
asleep,
they
don’t
stink.
When
they’ve
been
dead
for
a
while,
they
have
that
cloudy,
the
eyes
that
turn
cloudy,
cold
stare.
5:45
82
Two
nights
ago,
my
sister
got
married
to
days
agao
here.
She
livesi
n
Phoenix.
So
I
got
to
go
to
it,
and
I’m
by
myself
driving
down
the
road.
It
was
right
afterward,
and
I’d
had
a
couple
beers.
6:01
I’m
driving
and
there
was
an
accident
–
just
happened.
You
could
see
the
steam
coming
out
of
the
radiator
–
just
happened.
Nobody’s
on
the
road,
it’s
late.
Right
off
of
Sahara
and
15.
And
I
look
and
there’s
a
guy
on
the
ground
–
who’s
the
guy
on
the
ground?
I
get
out,
just
put
the
Hummer
right
up
on
the
median.
I
get
out
hobble
out,
reach
down,
check
him
for
a
pulse.
Dead.
6:35
And
the
uh
–
they
have
a
certain
look
in
their
eyes
again,
you
know,
even
though
he’d
been
crushed.
And
I
was
so
mad,
and
I’m
on
911
and
said,
he’s
dead.
Can
you
stay
with
him?
There’s
nothing
I
can
do
for
him.
He’s
crushed,
he’s
dead.
The
people
weren’t
getting
out
of
their
vehicle,
they
were
freaked
you
could
tell.
I
said
there’s
nothing
I
can
do
for
him.
Will
you
stay?
I
said
no,
I
gotta
get
out
of
here.
7:12
It
sjust
makes
me
so
mad,
because
it
just
brings
back
those
memories
of
having
to
–
it’s
their
fault,
they
make
you
do
it.
And
so
you
resent
them
for
it,
you
resent
their
ignorance
,
you
resent
everything
they
stand
for.
But
at
the
same
time
you
maek
a
lot
of
lasting
bonds
with
people
gthat
are
watching
out
for
you,.
They’re
protecting
you.
7:54
I’m
not
an
emotional
guy,
I’m
just
like
this
is
the
way
it
is,
btu
when
you
get
put
in
those
situations,
it
takes
it
out
of
you,
takes
that
fight
right
out
of
you.
8;04
So
it’s
funny,
you
said,
do
you
have
flashbacks,
and
two
nights
ago
–
ultimate,
ultimate
flashback.
I
just,
I
couldn’t
stay
there,
just
gotta
go.
And
you
have
a
couple
pops
in
you,
I
don’t
want
to
stick
around,
do
reports.
I
odn’t
want
toget
too
overly
emotional.
I
don’t
want
to
let
this
demon
loose.
Keep
it
in
check.
8:32
I
think
ultimately
that’s
what
it
was.
I
don’t
want
to
let
this
demon
loose.
If
I
stay
too
long,
he
may
get
out.
And
I
won’t
be
able
t
control
him,
I
feel
like
I
can’t.
Even
though
people
say,
ah,
you
need
to
let
it
out,
get
it
out.
I
don’t
think
so,
I
think
it
would
be
ever‐consuming.
83
8:54
Yeah,
where
you
rage?
Yeah,
where
you
gotta
punch
something,
which
would
be
self‐destructive,
especially
on
me.
Or
when
you
snap.
I
mean,
I’ve
ever
beeen
verbally
abiusive
or
physically
abusive
yo
my
sife,
but
I
will
get
very
irritable
and
snap
at
her.
And
am
I
angry
because
of
the
feelings,
am
I
angry
becquse
of
the
pain?
Does
the
pain
remind
me
of
the
feelings?
Ido
n’t
know.
I
don’t
know
why
I
do
the
things
I
do.
I
know
this
all
has
an
effect
on
my
persona.
9:40
Ny
parents
are
all,
why
are
you
so
unhappy,
and
I’m
lie,,
I’m
not.
‘You
don’t
seem
unhappy…’
Well,
I’m
pretty
darned
happy.
Sure
there’s
an
unknown
factor
in
what’s
going
ot
happen
in
the
future
as
far
as
finances.
9:56
How
you
feeling?
Every
day,
you
know
I’m
hurting.
Good.
Cause
nobody
wants
to
hear,
awww,
my
back’s
hurting
again.
I
don’t
feel
good.
Cause
that’s
the
same
old
hat.
10:20
They’ve
never
really
said
you’ve
changed.
When
I
saw
my
aunt
and
uncle,
first
time
in
shit,
long
time,
years
nad
years.
They
said,
something’s
not
right,
he’s
not,
something’s
going
on
with
him.
I’m
like,
I’m
in
pain.
That’s
about
it,
everything’s
going
great
as
far
as
my
life.
I’m
ok,
it’s
just
the
pain.
11:06
I
think
I’m
a
lot
happier
whenI
‘m
on
Ibuprofen
pr
half
a
Lortab
or
something.
I’m
a
lot
more
jovial,
I’m
abel
to
talk
and
smile.
I
think
too,
we’re
kind
of
getting
on
two
hours
now,
and
so
I
get
a
little
more
remotional
I
think
because
my
body
starts
to
wear
out.
I’m
glad
you
came
out.
84
Fred
Gaus,
Interviewed
August
14,
2008,
in
Albuquerque,
N.M.
FredGaus1
When
did
you
go
to
Iraq?
I
went
over
the
12th,
13th
for
Iraq.
Wheels
up
for
KBR
was
the
10th
of
April.
It
was
mostly
paperwork
they
wanted
you
to
fill
out
in
Houston.
The
only
thing
they
trained
you
on
was
the
CDS
–
the
chemical
suit
–
and
that
was
a
joke.
They
make
you
do
it.
Once
the
ydo
that,
by
the
time
you
get
that
stuffo
n,
you
never
forget
it.
I
was
working
ofr
KBR
,
the
whole
two
months
I
was
there.
Wheels
up
was
April
10,
flew
out
of
Houston
and
headed
form
there
to
Atlanta,
to
Dubai,
spent
the
night
there
and
from
there
to
Camp
Anaconda.
I
had
to
do
some
trainining
there
for
senior
mechanic
running
the
equipment
up
there.
Form
there
I
wnet
to
Tikrit,
Camp
Spycher
How’d
you
like
it
up
there?
It
was
different,
it
was
a
little
bit
of
a
culture
shock.
You
know
from
Michigan
to
here
gave
me
the
idea
to
expect
the
unexpected.
I
kind
of
figured
it
was
going
to
be
a
little
like
that,
but
–
KBR
says
we
don’t
want
you
to
mingle
with
the
locals.
I
seen
them
going
by
on
our
convoys.
To
a
certain
extent
you
knew
where
you
were
–
it
was
hot,
dusty
dry.
I
was
in
Vietnam
era
–
I
spent
two
monthsi
n
Germany
at
that
time.
I
look
at
it
this
way
‐‐‐
If
Uncle
Sam
wanted
me
to
go,
I
would’ve
gone.
But
they
didn’t,
so
I’ll
sit
back,
take
it
easy.
I
was
in
Danau,
just
east
of
Frankfurt.
Enjoyed
the
beer.
After
allthis
happened,
I
spent
7
days
in
Germany
and
could
not
get
one
beer.
4:40
I
was
two
months
total
in
country.
I
hit
Camp
Spycher
five
weeks
after
I
got
there.
We
got
through
training,
they
sendt
me
to
camp
spycher,
one
piece
of
the
equipment
went
down,
so
they
had
me
and
another
gentleman
go
back
to
Anaconda,
we
spent
7
days
there.
We
went
back
to
Spycher
after
that,
nad
the
day
after
I
got
there
they
had
another
mission
they
sent
us
out
on.
About
10:00
in
the
morning,
there
was
three
of
us
that
went
out
there,
we
went
to
an
FOB,
the
yhad
another
little
meeting,
and
explained
to
us
not
to
get
out
of
our
trucks,
explicitly
said
it
was
safe
if
we’d
do
it.
So
that’s
no
problem,
we’ll
sit
here,
relax,
take
it
easy.
We
went
probably
8‐10
miles
to
the
0—I
think
it
was
east.
To
a
certain
extent,
my
directions
were
kind
of
loopy
over
there.
85
6:30
We
got
to
some
fields
with
the
irrigation
on,
they’d
flooded
the
fields.
All
of
a
suddent
they
stopped,
and
the
piece
of
equip
we
were
supposed
to
get,
the
asset,
wasn’t
that
far
away.
We
sat
and
stopped
there
and
waited,
and
one
of
the
staff
sergeants
said,
follow
me
and
put
it
on.
So
I
started
following
him
around,
and
they
had
a
military
wrecker
that
was
parked
in
front
of
him.
7:30
So
I
went
over
that
last
little
pile
of
dirt
and
that’s
when
I
hit
that
IED.
In
the
fiel,d
yeah.
WhenI
went
oer
it,
I
was
trying
to
put
one
tire
and
then
the
other
over
it,
tokeep
it
from
bouncing
so
hard,
and
when
I
hit
that,
everything
went
to
heck
in
a
handbasket.
I
tell
people,
it’s
like
someone
just
threw
a
brown
blanket
over
me.
8:07
The
gentleman
sitting
next
to
me,
when
everything
was
said
and
done,
I
my
legs
were
up
the
seat,
my
back
was
up
on
the
floor
of
the
cab.
These
wreckers
had
extra
steel
plates
in
them.
It
threw
me
right
backwards.
The
doctor’s
saying
one
of
my
injuries
was
an
expansion
fracture
in
my
back.
It
just
pushed
me
right
like
this,
just
straight
back.
So
once
I
was
looking
myself
over,
making
sure
everything
was
where
it’s
supposed
to
be,
my
index
finger
was
laying
down
in
the
palm
of
my
hand,
what
was
left
of
it.
9:00
So
I
started
calling
ofr
the
guy
that
was
sitting
next
to
me,
I
kept
calling
and
waving
my
arm
for
the
medics
to
come
over
and
probably
within
fifteen
seconds
to
45
secs,
they
were
on
their
way,
and
one
of
them
says,
I
see
the
other
guy,
and
he’s
30
feet
from
the
truck.
He
was
literally
blown
that
far
away.
9:30
Out
the
window?
Now,
let
me
finish
my
little
story.
When
I
started
looking
around,
I
could
see
straight
through
the
roof
which
wasn’t
there.
Dashboar,d
you
name
it
,
wasn’t
really
thre.
Just
that
little
part
of
the
left
side
was
all
that
was
really
there.
I
had
a
backpack
and
that
was
still
sitting
in
the
back,
unhurt.
It
had
a
little
rip
in
it,
but
I
got
that
fixed.
That’s
something
you’re
not
going
to
get
rid
of.
If
it
can
survive
that,
it
can
survive
a
whole
heck
of
a
lot.
The
one
guy
comes
to
me,
and
the
other
one
goes
to
the
other
guy.
The
other
one
was
back
in
30
secs
to
a
minute.
The
other
guy
didn’t
make
it,
he
was
just
gone.
86
They
put
a
couple
tourniquets
on
me.
This
legt
was
pretty
cut
up,
had
a
couple
good
burns.
This
finger
was
partially
amputated
–
index
finger
on
the
right
hand
there.
11:00
Those
tourniquets
were
killing
me,
that
was
worse
than
the
injuries
themselves.
The
helicopter
took
about
fifteen
minutes
to
get
there,
they
threw
me
on
the
helicopter
and
took
off.
12:00
Like
I
said,
I
enver
did
see
where
Greg
was
–
the
gnentleman
who
was
with
me,
Greg
Loomis.
They
gto
me
to
Anaconda,
the
closest
military
camp.
Within
an
hour
and
fifteen
minutes
of
everything,
I
was
in
the
operating
room.
12:35
It
also
ripped
this
part
of
my
ace
off,
bottom
of
my
mouth,
cracked
my
one
bottom
partial.
It
was
4:00
in
the
afternoon
over
there,
and
by
11:00
at
night,
I
was
in
the
ICU,
coming
out
of
anesthesia.
First
thing,
I
wanted
to
call
my
wife.
So
I
called
her
up,
told
her
I
was
coming
home,
had
a
little
oops,
and
her
first
response
was,
how
we
gonna
make
it?
I
said,
well
I
hear
workmen’s
comp
pays
about
4
grand
a
month.
13:30
So
she
says,
well,
what
happened?
This
is
what
happened
–
I
told
her
I
hit
an
IUD,
instead
of
IED,
and
explained
to
her
–
that
was
just
a
mix‐up.
Not
intentional,
I’ve
always
had
trouble
with
them.
She
started
calling
my
amily,
it
took
aher
about
two
hours
rto
calm
down.
14:10
That
was
the
first
she’d
heard
about
all
this
–KBR
was
more
concerned
about
letting
Greg’s
wife
know
what
happened,
instead
of
letting
her
know15:30
It
happened
to
be
,
both
our
daughters
were
staying
here
with
her
at
the
time,
so
she
had
a
good
support
network.
Then
there
was
Blue
Star
Moms
and
the
Patriot
Riders
–
so
between
the
two
of
them,
helped
her
through
a
lot
of
stuff.
16:00
Actually,
one
of
the
blue
star
moms,
her
son
got
hit
by
a
sniper
bullet
in
the
leg.
I
spent
two
days
there
at
Camp
Anaconda
in
Tikrit.
16:44
87
My
mind’s
going
bananas
again.
They
airlifted
me
to
Landstuhl,
Germany,
and
I
stayed
seven
dyas
there.
I
spent
seven
days
there,
then
another
gentleman
went
with
me
to
Frankfurt.
18:14
We
flew
from
there
to
Dallas,
Dallas
to
Albuquerque.
Generally,
a
person
of
my
status
would’ve
been
the
last
one
off
the
plane,
and
instead
I
was
the
first
one
off
the
plane
–
the
stewardess
actually
announced,
we’ve
got
a
special
guest
that
needs
to
come
off
first.
They
took
me
straight
through
the
main
airport.
They
hada
flag
line
there
for
me,
for
welcome
home.
They
had
16
bikes
and
9
cars
there
to
escort
me
to
the
hospital
–
actually
five
days
there,
I
thought
it
was
goingto
be
longer
than
that,
but
they
kicked
me
out.
19:15
It
broke
my
toe,
don’t
ask
me
how
that
happened.
I
almost
lost
that
hand.
It
really
did
some
damage.
21:26
KBR’s
putting
me
in
for
a
–
it’s
like
a
Purple
Heart
–
a
Defense
of
Freedom
Medal,
which
is
the
same
thing
as
a
purple
heart,
for
a
civilian.
It’s
going
to
take
a
while,
because
it’s
got
probably
two
dozen
places
to
go
before
it
gets
to
all
the
right
places.
But
the
more
information
you
can
get,
reports,
that
kind
of
thing,
the
easier
it’ll
be
to
get.
We’re
waiting
for
that
right
now.
What’s
your
experience
been
with
KBR
since
you’ve
been
back?
22:00
They’ve
treated
me
pretty
good.
If
I
have
trouble
with
the
workmen’s
comp
company,
they
make
certain
calls
to
get
me
back
on
track.
THe
original
guy
they
put
on
my
case
was
dragging
his
heels
bigtime
and
if
it
wasn’t
for
a
friend
of
ours
who
went
through
this
in
03
–
actually
our
youngest
grandson’s
other
grandma
was
over
there
in
a
humvee,
and
she’s
still
going
through
medical
treatment
trying
to
get
bones
to
heal
back
properly.
IED
too,
yeah,
a
humvee
that
was
not
up‐armored.
This
was
back
in
’03.
23:10
I
was
using
her
wheelchair.
It
took
me
two
weeks
to
get
my
own
wheelchair,
two
days
later
the
doctor
told
me,
time
to
get
a
walker.
88
Other’n
that,
they’ve
been
treating
me
pretty
good.
I
haven’t
heard
too
many
other
complaints
form
the
people
that
I’ve
been
dealing
with.
They’ve
been
getting
me
anything
I
need.
24:00
Other’n
that,
just
been
taking
it
one
day
at
a
time,
trying
to
get
healed
up.
Honestly,
if
I
can
go
back,
there
are
some
things
that
I’ve
got
to
deal
with,
I
know
to
get
over
these
fears,
just
got
to
get
back
up
on
the
horse
that
threw
me,
is
the
best
way
to
put
it.
That’s
incredible
It’ll
be
five
years
in
October
since
I
rolled
a
semi
up
on
25.
And
being
that
she
taught
truck
driving
at
one
time,
I
got
up
after
a
class,
just
to
see
if
I
could
do
it.
It
took
me
about
a
week.
This
time
it’s
going
to
take
a
little
longer.
It’s
been
two
motnhs
since
this
happened.
Have
you
been
up
in
a
truck
since
then?
Haven’t
been
able
to.
The
hardest
problem
I’m
probably
going
to
have
is
sitting
up
in
that
right
seat,
because
of
knowing
what
happened
to
Greg.
Just
last
weekend,
they
had
one
of
the
Vietnam
portable
walls
up
at
the
Hollywood
casino,
and
we
had
a
dog
tag
made
up
for
him
–
two
of
them,
one
for
us
and
one
for
his
wife.
25:40
She
had
no
support
other
than
her
family
through
all
this.
It’s
been
hard
on
her.
I
asked
her,
how
did
they
contact
you
about
Greg’s
death,
and
they
actually
had
two
men
sitting
at
her
door,
9:00
at
night.
That’s
one
of
the
reasons
I
don’t
think
she
(Vardis)
got
a
phone
call
,
and
that
was
a
blessing
in
disguise.
26:45
Anyway,
that’s
what
I’ve
got
to
get
over
before
I
get
back
in
a
truck.
It
depends
on
three
things
–
how
good
this
heals
up
with
my
leg,
how
good
my
back
is,
and
how
good
a
grip
I’ve
got
in
my
right
hand.
I’ve
still
got
the
doctors
to
see
,they’ll
do
an
MRI
on
my
head
to
see
if
any
real
damage
was
done.
My
hearing’s
a
little
worse,
but
not
real
bad.
27:40
Overall,
this
is
an
experience
that
–
the
only
reason
I’m
here
is
because
of
God.
The
whole
left
side
of
that
cab
could
have
been
gone.
Physical
things
aside,
do
you
think
you’ll
be
able
to
get
back
up
in
a
truck?
89
28:30
I
think
I’ll
be
able
to.
The
hardest
part’s
gonna
be
sitting
in
that
right
seat.
Especially
if
I
go
over
to
Iraq,
it’s
one
of
the
things
that’ll
be
hard
to
overcome.
In
the
back
of
my
head,
especially
outside
the
wire,
wondering
if
we’ll
hit
an
IED
on
the
right
side.
It’s
just
that
little
bit.
Why
did
you
go
over
in
the
first
place?
29:00
Troop
support.
Help
the
troops
out
some
way.
And
I
was
driving
for
Walgreens
here,
and
I
had
a
boss
that
–
there
was
some
other
routes
that
paid
really
good,
and
every
time
one
opened
up,
they
wouldn’t
contact
me.
My
son
told
me
about
this
deal,
and
I
applied
for
it.
Because
he
was
over
there
driving
for
LSI.
And
at
Spycher,
he
left
two
weeks
before
I
got
there.
He
missed
three
morning
meetings,
and
they
very
politely
asked
him
to
head
home.
They
don’t
play
games
over
there.
30:15
Either
you
show
up,
or
you’ve
got
to
be
someplace
they
know
where
you’re
at.
31:00
I
knew
all
about
the
danger,
yeah.
Once
you
get
over
there
and
start
looking
around,
and
seeing
what’s
going
on
–
you
realize
you’re
in
a
combat
zone.
The
mortar
actually
hit
near
the
PPI
camp
–
the
Philippine
People
in
Iraq
camp.
There’s
quite
a
few
Filipino
people
in
Iraq
there.
There
was
one
guy
from
Kenya.
I
ahven’t
talked
to
any
of
them
since
all
this
happened.
The
guy
from
Kenya,
I’d
like
to
talk
to
him
because
he
was
out
there,
he
seen
what
came
down.
32:30
I’ve
been
trying
to
get
a
picture
of
this
truck,
they’re
still
doing
an
investigation
on
it,
last
I
heard.
That’s
all
I
want
,
just
to
see
how
much
was
left
of
it,
just
to
see
how
I
actually
survived
this
little
mishap.
To
understand
what
happened,
in
my
own
mind,
that’s
what
iti
s.
Just
like
the
pictures
of
the
truck
that
Irolled.
36:40
You
get
outside
the
wire,
I
wouldn’t
worry
about
wearing
a
seat
belt.
On
the
camp,
they
do
want
you
to
wear
it.
38:50
90
I
don’t
remember
hearing
the
sound
–
it
was
like
somebody
threw
a
blanket
over
me,
is
the
best
way
to
explain
it.
39:50
We’ve
got
occupational
therapy
appointments
out
the
wazoo.
This
week
I’m
going
twice.
43:40
Was
this
your
first
time
in
a
combat
situation?
Yes
What
was
that
like?
Different.
It
was
different.
The
way
they
did
it,
we
had
probably
15
or
20
military
vehicles,
support
people
when
all
of
this
was
coming
down.
The
IED
I
hit
was
what
they
call
a
double‐tap.
And
the
wrecker
set
the
fuse,
and
when
I
went
over
it,
it
went
off.
44:30
They
also
have
what
they
call
daisy
chains,
so
one
would
set
it
off,
and
it
would
just
blow
up
along
a
series
of
vehicles.
Oh,
it’s
scary,
and
the
military
just
can’t
keep
up
with
what
they’re
throwing
at
em.
Like
I
say,
this
is
not
a
fair
war.
Could
you
compare
this
to
what
you
heard
during
Vietnam?
We
never
got
to
this
point,
where
we’re
actually
iccupying
the
whole
country.
A
lot
of
the
military
stuff
is
support
stuff,
like
protecting
the
convoys.
The
whole
country
is
a
war
zone.
The
truck
you
were
driving
was…
I’d
go
get
assets,
and
bring
em
back
to
camp.
It
was
a
civilian
wrecker.
International
Harvester
Truck,
a
7600.
There
was
an
ATAC
wrecker
on
the
back
of
it.
KBR
was
actually
hiring
a
lot
more
of
the
nationals
within
that
area
for
drving
a
truck
around
there.
It
was
just
a
field
with
just
the
military
equipment
that
we
went
out
with,
and
like
I
said,
they
hid
one
of
them
IED’s
in
the
road.
It
was
an
AMRAP
broken
down
–
one
of
the
newer
pieces
of
military
equipment,
with
a
V
bottom.
91
FredGaus2
1:40
It
literally
blew
everything
away,
the
best
way
to
put
it.
When
the
medics
came
to
get
me,
they
just
walked
over
the
stuff
like
it
was
nothing.
All
I
could
see
was
just
the
back
part
of
the
cab.
It
literally
blew
me
backwards,
and
I
was
on
the
floor,
and
my
legs
were
up
on
the
seat.
That’s
whne
I
started
looking
around
to
see
that
everythging
that
was
supposed
to
be
attached
was
still
attached.
After
I
did
that,
I
started
waving
my
arm
and
yelling
for
the
guy
who
was
sitting
next
to
me.
What
was
it
like,
the
sight
of
your
finger
in
your
hand?
Ah,
‘That’s
going
to
hurt.
That’s
going
to
hurt
a
lot.’
3:30
I’ve
been
trying
ever
since
this
thing
come
down,
to
keep
a
good
attitude
about
this.
With
Greg’s
death
and
stuff,
I’ve
felt
a
lot
of
pain
over
it,
but
I
haven’t
really
cried
over
it.
We
were
just
getting
ot
be
friends
when
all
this
started
coming
down.
We
were
close
friends,
working
companions.
So
it
was
no
mistake
you
were
riding
together
that
day?
3:45
Actually,
I
could’ve
been
sitting
in
that
seat.
He
was
doing
what
they
call
the
CC,
convoy
commander.
I
needed
to
get
a
little
more
up
on
the
CC
stuff
on
the
computer.
I
hadn’t
really
gotten
into
it
that
much,
that’s
why
I
was
driving
that
day.
It’s
just
the
luck
of
fate.
His
wife’s
in
Florida,
they
were
living
in
Colorado
before.
Sounds
like
a
real
nice
lady,
her
and
her
kids
want
to
meet
me,
and
I’d
like
to
meet
her.
6:15
Between
the
doctors’
appointments
and
everything
else
in
our
lives,
it’s
been
hectic.
If
I
do
go
back,
that’s
one
place
I’m
going
to
stop.
I
feel
like
I
need
to.
It
seems
like
you’ve
been
living
around
trucks
your
whole
life.
92
My
dad
was
a
heavy
equipment
mechanic.
I’ve
always
bene
fixing
stuff.
We’ve
got
6
½
motorcycles.
[lists
them]
8:30
I’d
like
to
go
to
the
one
at
the
Wall
next
year,
on
his
memorial
of
what
happened
to
him,
is
one
of
the
reasons
I
want
to
dot
hat
–
to
let
people
now,
hey
theyre’s
other
guys
losing
their
lives
other
than
just
troops.
There
is
a
bunch
of
contractors
that
are
gone
because
of
that.
Recovery
itself
has
only
lost
two
people.
Greg
was
the
second
one
in
two
years.
Overall,
KBR
has
lost
somewhere
close
to
100
people.
In
July,
they
lost
3
more.
What
can
you
do?
You’re
in
a
war
zone,
you
do
what
you
can
do.
A
lot
of
people
don’t
grasp
that
it
is
a
war
zone,
the
whole
country.
The
tropps
that
are
there
know
they’re
doing
the
right
thing.
They’re
wanting
to
do
the
whole
job
and
come
home
–
I
don’t
want
to
say
a
victory
–
but
a
sense
that
they
did
the
job
they
went
over
there
to
do.
Since
I’ve
been
over
there,
I
can
answer
[what
is
victory?]
–
satisfaction
that
there’s
peace
over
there.
11:00
I
don’t
know.
I’m
not
a
politician
and
I
don’t
claim
to
be
one.
13:20
My
wife
and
I
were
both
working
for
MS
Carriers.
We
met,
she
offered
me
pizza,
we
talked,
ended
up
in
my
truck
for
a
while
and
talked.
I
gave
her
my
voicemail
box.
We
started
talking
that
way,
and
ended
up
talking
quite
a
bit
for
the
first
six
months
we
met.
I
ended
up
proposing
to
her
over
the
voicemail
while
I
was
waiting
for
her
in
Memphis.
The
load
she
was
supposed
to
be
bringing
from
Budweiser
didn’t
come
through
on
time
and
I
had
to
get
going
on
my
load.
14:51
We’re
just
meant
to
be.
I’m
trying
of
riding
around
–
gotta
get
back
to
driving.
It’s
going
to
be
at
least
another
six
weeks
because
of
the
boot.
15:15
I’d
like
to
get
back
quite
a
bit
really,
just
to
get
over
these
fears.
If
nothing
more,
for
three
months.
Know
what
I’m
trying
to
say?
It’s
just
something
I
feel
like
I’ve
got
to
do,
just
like
going
over
there
in
the
first
place.
It’s
something
I
fetl
like
I
had
to
do.
But
this
time
it’s
more
personal,
something
I’ve
gto
to
get
over
,the
fears
of
what
happened
over
there.
I
have
to
personally
get
over
those
fears
to
know
I
can
go
on
93
with
life
with
no
problem.
It’s
like
you’re
riding
a
horse
and
the
horse
bucks
you
off,
you
have
to
get
right
back
on
to
prove
to
the
horse
you
can
do
it.
16:10
Get
healed
up
and
see
what
I
can
do
there.
18:40
I’m
not
thinking
much
about
disability
–
I’ll
find
something
here
if
I
have
to,
a
mechanic
job.
What
do
you
think
about
a
mechanic
job,
with
one
finger
missing?
Will
that
be
a
problem?
No.
Most
of
your
grip
is
right
here
anyway
with
your
index
finger.
If
it’s
going
to
get
in
the
way,
why
not
lose
it
now?
I
have
seen
the
X‐rays
and
a
lot
of
meat
was
missing
in
here,
and
the
bone
was
real
jagged.
They
could’ve
saved
it
and
it
would’ve
been
straight,
but
it
would’ve
been
in
the
way.
How
old
are
you?
58.
FredGaus3
Vardis
speaking:
1:28
I
got
to
the
airport,
I
was
on
my
motorcycle.
I
wen
t
up
to
the
gat,e
and
when
I
told
them
what
it
was,
they
gave
me
the
gate
pass
to
go
up,
so
I
greeted
him
at
the
gate.
The
Blue
Star
moms
just
greeted
him
with
a
lot
of
applause,
bystanders
started
applauding.
2:48
We
led
the
whole
group
out
–
16
bikes,
9
cars,
and
we
followed
them
to
the
hospital,
and
it
all
came
together
on
the
fly.
What
was
it
like,
seeing
that
whole
scene?
3:07
[Fred
speaking]
94
Seeing
her
at
the
gate
was
really
good
–
I
was
hoping
she’d
be
there.
The
first
personI
wanted
to
see
was
her.
Hey,
I’m
here,
Im
still
alive.
I’m
not
sure
how
bad
I’m
hurt,
but
I’m
alive
and
I’ll
be
coming
home.
If
he
hadn’t
been
strapped
down
on
the
gurney,
he
would’ve
jumped
off
it.
He
couldn’t
get
hold
of
me
soon
enough.
95
Eddie
Barker,
Interviewed
August
26,
2008,
in
Marion
Station,
Maryland
Eddie
Barker1
I’ve
got
a
claim
that’s
out,
but
like
everything
else,
it’s
AIG
calling
all
the
shots.
It’s
AIG,
they’re
acting
like
doctors,
they’re
sheltered
by
an
umbrella
act,
went
into
effect
in
1972,
signed
by
Richard
Nixon,
called
the
ERISCA
law,
and
they
act
like
doctors.
And
they
play
at
doctors,
and
they
use
it
to
the
full
extent.
1:00
I’ve
had
physical
grounds,
I’ve
had
one
operation
on
the
C‐67
that
was
successful,
but
then
three
motnhs
down
the
road
I
had
two
more
and
they’re
pressing
again
the
spinal
column
and
I’ve
got
physical
grounds
on
them.
They
got
their
IME
–
their
independent
medical
examiner,
they
pay
him.
He
agreed
with
my
doct,or,
I’ve
gto
one
of
the
best
doctors
in
the
country.
I’ve
gto
the
aprofessor
of
the
brain
and
spine,
and
he
agreed
with
them.
But
that
wasn’t
good
enough.
They
sent
my
report
to
New
York.
1:45
Then
they
wanted
me
to
see
another
doctor,
and
I
said
no,
and
they
cut
my
checks
off.
And
I
still
have
my
medication
but
they’re
not
giving
me
my
check
every
month.
So
now
I’m
waiting
to
restart
my
check
–
a
federal
judge
told
them
to
reinstate
my
check,
but
they
say
because
I
didn’t
go
to
that
IME
that
they
don’t
have
to.
2:20
So
it’s
a
big
battle.
AIG
is
a
man’s
worst
nightmare.
When
you
hire
on
at
KBR,
they
tell
you
if
you
get
hurt
in
an
accident,
that
you’ll
be
well
taken
care
of.
I’ve
been
out
of
work
going
on
three
years.
I’ve
been
working
since
I
was
6
years
old,
and
until
I
was
49,
I’ve
never
been
out
of
work.
I
mean
never.
Never
been
without
a
job,
even
during
the
summer
months
growing
up.
January
4th
will
be
three
years.
3:10
They
shipped
me
home
January
24
of
2006
–
that
was
my
last
active
day
with
KBR.
It’s
pretty
much
downhill
since
then.
You
can’t
call
them
up
on
the
phone
and
talk
to
them.
You
have
to
call
your
attorney.
3:45
I’ve
got
Robert
Walsh
out
of
Newport
News,
Va.,
which
is
a
DBA
attorney.
He’s
got
a
40‐year
track
record
–
he’s
got
more
years
of
experience
than
Gary
Pitts
does.
96
He’s
got
to
wait
for
court
hearings,
just
like
anybody
else
does.
I’ve
been
writing
letters
to
senators,
to
state
senators
and
my
response
has
been
none.
So
what
are
they
getting
paid
for?
They
don’t
care.
5:30
(talking
about
the
ERISCA
law
–
insurance
companies
hide
behind
it)
5:45
My
case
is
a
negligence
case.
It
was
their
product,
their
up‐armored
trucks.
I’m
standing
outside
the
truck
at
10:00
at
night,
no
warning
and
a
90‐pound
bulletproof
glass
fell
out
of
the
track
nad
hit
me
in
the
head.
By
all
rights,
I
should
be
dead.
6:20
I
got
back
on
the
radio
and
Big
‘Un
was
the
convoy
commander.
I
told
him
I’d
been
hit.
It
took
8
hours
after
I’d
been
hit
to
get
me
back
to
base.
6:45
It’s
rough
over
there
and
I’d
go
back
right
now
but
I
can’t.
There
was
nothing
wrong
with
me
when
I
hired
on
with
them.
I
was
49
years
old,
been
driving
a
truck
my
whole
life.
I
don’t
know
if
I’ll
ever
be
able
to
drive
a
truck
again
on
account
of
the
bouncing
and
my
neck.
7:35
I
take
60mg
of
OcyCodeine
every
day,
just
for
the
pain
–
so
yes,
I
am
high
as
a
kite
right
now.
I
tell
you
the
truth,
you
can
take
it
back
to
AIG.
AIG
can
frankly
kiss
the
white
part
of
my
ass.
That’s
the
way
I
feel
about
it.
My
family’s
livelihood
is
not
being
taken
care
of.
It’s
not
so
much
about
me
as
it
is
about
them.
I
can’t
afford
the
house
without
being
paid,
and
money’s
starting
to
get
very,
very
tight.
8:40
I
got
workmen’s
comp
every
two
weeks,
in
a
sum
of
$2,200
every
two
weeks.
But
that’s
still
not
a
third
of
what
I
was
making
–
here
in
the
states,
even
before
I
went
to
Iraq.
I
was
making
better
money
here
in
the
states
than
I
was
when
I
went
to
Iraq.
I
just
got
tired
of
the
high
fuel
prices
and
the
DOT
rules
and
regulations.
And
I
enjoyed
working
over
there.
I
liked
what
I
did.
I
was
bucking
for
foreman.
Within
3
months,
I
was
already
driving
convoy
commander.
97
9:55
I’d
still
be
over
there
right
now.
I
went
over
in
October
2005.
I’d
of
had
everything
I
own
paid
off
by
now.
That’s
what
my
wife
was
doing
with
every
check,
paying
off
the
bills.
10:30
Mine
is
a
negligence
suit,
but
under
the
law,
you
can’t
sue
KBR
in
any
way,
because
they’re
a
third
party.
They
only
subcontracted
SEII.
They’re
only
headhunters
for
SEII.
They
got
you
by
the
balls,
any
way
you
look
at
it.
You
can’t
sue
them
because
they’re
in
the
Cayman
Islands.
11:14
I’m
just
trying
to
get
them
to
fix
my
meds
right
now.
11:47
Even
if
I
could
sue
them,
I
don’t
know
anyone
who
would
take
the
case.
They’re
what
you
call
a
juggernaut.
They
are
so
big,
attorneys
are
afraid
of
them.
Because
they
belong
to
Dick
Cheney,
Halliburton,
and
yes
they
are
all
in
cahoots
together.
Politicians
all
have
too
much
power.
Our
politics
is
wrong,
our
federal
government
is
wrong.
It’s
not
of
the
people.
12:30
They
cut
off
my
checks
last
year
for
3
months,
and
they
cut
them
off
in
June
again
this
year.
You
didn’t
go
to
the
IME,
you
refused
medical
treatment.
14:45
How’d
you
get
started
working
over
there?
I
got
started
it
was
over
a
CB
radio,talking
to
some
guys.
I
got
a
phone
number,
called
them
up
and
did
all
the
paperwork
through
the
compute.r
Next
thing
you
know,
I
got
a
date
to
be
in
Houston
Texas
two
week
orientation.
We
heade
to
Germany,
then
to
Iraq.
I
didn’t
know
A
from
Z
when
I
first
got
there.
I
more
or
less
listened
and
watched
and
learned
quick.
I
got
to
go
to
Camp
Mortaritaville,
and
the
men
you’re
with
there,
everybody’s
an
American.
There’s
no
such
thing
as
you’re
from
Montana
or
Kansas
City.
Everybody
works
really
well
together.
Me
being
as
old
as
I
was,
I
did
a
job
that
needed
to
be
done.
16:40
98
I’ve
been
used
to
working
all
my
life,
and
they
took
that
away
from
me.
So
I
would
choose
something
else,
but
I
can’t
do
it.
Hurts
too
damn
bad.
17;30
You
know
the
lawyers
don’t
mind,
because
they
get
paid
so
much
per
hour.
17:45
So
how
do
you
spend
your
time
on
a
given
day?
You’re
looking
at
it.
Sometimes
I’ll
get
on
the
laptop,
go
out
and
do
yardwork.
Sometimes
it
takes
2‐3
days
to
mow
the
lawn.
C‐5
and
C‐6
are
problem
vertenae
20:00
Nothing’s
changed.
It’s
not
getting
better,
it’s
actually
getting
worse.
The
disc
in
your
neck
ain’t
gonna
get
no
better.
I’ve
had
one
surgery
–
they
OK’d
it
that
time.
But
once
they
found
out
I
had
an
attorney,
it
was
like
I
hist
a
brick
wall.
21:48
Politics
in
this
country
–
they
need
to
change.
23:45
They
did
all
kinds
of
tests
on
us
before
we
went
over.
There
was
no
wa,y
shape
or
form
a
man
could’ve
bene
disabled
before
he
went.
25”00
They
teach
a
little
bit
of
everthing,
you
listen
to
a
little
bit
of
everything.
We
really
didn’t
know
who
SEII
was
until
we
got
to
Iraq
–
we
found
out
oh,
we
don’t
work
fro
KBR,
we
work
for
SEII,
they
work
in
the
Caynman
islands.
27:10
I
enjoyed
working
for
KBR.
Now,
I
wish
to
hell
I
never
would’ve
worked
for
them.
I
wouldn’t
be
sick,
I’d
be
working.
27:44
It
makes
you
swallow
your
pride,
it
erally
does.
But
what
do
you
do?
28:00
99
It’s
just
me,
my
wife
was
working
prior,
but
that
expired
now.
She’ll
hopefully
get
a
just
next
month.
We
moved
here
in
May
of
2006.
Came
back
from
Iraqin
January.
My
mother
in
law’s
husband,
he
passed
away.
My
mom
passed
away
in
September
of
’05
and
I
went
to
work
in
Iraq
in
October
of
’05.
30:41
How
far
will
your
story
get?
Besides
to
the
college?
I
hope
you
get
some
attention,
because
attention
is
something
we
are
not
getting.
Not
from
Senators,
Congressmen.
We’re
not
getting
nowhere.
33:05
They
know
exactly
how
many
people
have
been
injured
nad
how
many
have
been
killed.
But
they
don’t
tell
the
people
of
the
United
States
this
in
the
newspaper.
You
don’t
read
that.
Last
I
heard
it
was
over
12,000
injured,
over
1,000
killed.
But
they
don’t
put
that
in
the
paper.
Why?
33:35
We
are
no
different
from
the
military.
You
abnide
by
military
standards.
You
geti
n
a
firefight,
you’re
getting
your
ass
shot
at
like
everyone
else.
You
can’t
shoot
back.
You
go
outside
the
wire,
they
should
give
you
a
gun.
You
get
back
to
the
base,
you
hand
it
back
in.
But
I
tell
you,
you
get
fired
at
and
can’t
fire
back,
it
makes
you
mad.
It’s
an
adrenaline
rush.
34:20
You
can
bump
another
truck
on
the
base,
and
they
fire
you.
But
you
go
outside
the
wire,
and
get
blown
all
to
hell,
you
don’t
get
fired.
You
know
why?
Because
the
government’s
going
to
pay
for
it.
It’s
that
simple.
35:00
Can
you
tell
me
a
little
about
what
it’s
like
working
over
there?
The
roads
over
there
and
the
driving
conditions
–
they
say
you’re
going
Hajji,
you’re
going
60
mph
and
you’re
driving
across
the
median
strip.
The
trucks
are
loaded
a
lot
heavier
over
there.
You
might
hit
a
two‐foot
ditch
and
you
hope
and
pray
you
land
with
your
tires
on
asphalt
on
the
other
side.
If
there’s
traffic
coming
in
the
other
direction,
you’re
running
them
off
into
the
ditch.
I’ve
done
it.
36:40
100
They’ve
been
fighting
over
there
for
2,000
years
–
what
part
of
that
are
people
here
going
to
understand?
They’re
not
going
to
give
up.
I
know
they’re
getting
things
from
Iran
because
there’s
no
way
they
can
be
producing
anything
in
Iraq.
There’s
no
industry
there.
Of
course
it
comes
from
Iran.
38:25
For
all
that,
what
did
you
like
about
being
there?
The
adrenaline
rush,
going
outside
the
wire.
Getting
out
of
the
gate.
Getting
out
there
where
I
belonged
as
a
truck
driver.
That’s
what
I
belong
doing,
driving
atruck.
You
made
friends
with
the
men.
You
made
friends
quickly,
you
chose
them
wisely.
39:30
Iraq
in
general
is
a
hellhole.
But
as
far
as
working
there,
I
liked
the
work.
I
like
the
people
I
worked
with,
not
the
Iraqi
Shiite
and
Sunni.
40:30
I’m
from
Tennessee
originally,
born
and
raised.
I’m
used
to
the
military,
never
bothered
me.
Taking
orders
from
military
was
nothing
new.
But
that’s
what
we
did,
we
were
no
different
from
military,
but
we
got
kicked
under
the
rug
like
dirt.
41:15
I
do
[have
access
to
VA
benefits,
as
a
veteran]
but
why
should
I
fall
back
on
VA
benefits
when
it’s
not
the
VA’s
fault.
This
is
KBR’s
fault.
I
could
use
my
VA,
yeah,
but
would
it
be
right?
No.
I
don’t
believe
two
wrongs
make
a
right.
It
would
be
wrong.
43:30
We
were
coming
from
TQ,
stopped
in
front
of
Armadi.
The
convoy
commander
got
the
OK
from
the
military
to
stop
and
let
us
use
the
bathroom.
So
I
stepped
out
of
the
up‐armored
–
what’s
called
a
Franken‐armor
truck,
a
prototype.
I
was
just
about
to
unzip
my
pants
when
all
of
a
sudden,
I
was
literally
getting
the
shit
beaten
out
of
me.
I
didn’t
know
if
I’d
been
shot
or
what,
I
just
knew
I
was
bleeding
hard.
I
got
on
the
radio
and
said
I’d
been
hit.
44:50
we
took
a
break
to
take
a
piss,
and
the
window
just
let
loose
out
of
the
pane.
It
had
a
keeper
and
I
had
that
truck
all
weekend
long
and
nothing’s
wrong
with
the
truck.
We
leave
that
night
at
7:15,
get
out
to
take
a
leak.
And
the
roads
from
TQ
to
Armadi
are
rough,
full
of
potholes
bigger
than
that
coffee
table.
That’s
what
you
hit.
I
mean,
dusty,
nasty.
101
It
was
the
driver’s
side
glass
in
the
door.
And
I’m
four
feet
under
it.
That
was
90
pounds.
48:00
6:00
in
the
morning
I
went
to
the
medics,
and
they
took
Durabond
and
glued
the
skin
together
on
my
face.
They
said
there
were
stitches
on
my
face,
btu
it
was
Durabond.
So,
they’re
lying.
49:00
(Dogs
barking)
That’s
Star
and
Dudley.
Dudley
is
a
mini
Doberman
we
rescued
from
being
put
to
sleep.
49:55
If
my
paychecks
are
coming
like
they’re
supposed
to
be
coming,
that’s
fine,
I
can
make
payments.
What
do
I
do
if
not,
do
I
put
my
farm
up
for
a
second
mortgage?
I
have
200
acres
in
Tennessee.
Rogersville,
Tennesse,
in
what’s
called
Poor
Valley.
53:00
I
drove
a
truck
since
1974.
Yeah,
I
trucked
all
my
life.
Oversize,
over
height,
overweight.
55:28
I’ve
had
bullets
go
by
my
nose,
and
I
can
feel
the
heat
of
the
bullet
as
it
goes
by.
That
is
close.
56:20
Had
you
seen
combat
like
that
before?
No.
Did
your
military
background
prepare
you
to
go
over
there?
Oh
yeah,
I
know
what
those
land
mines
can
do.
You
got
to
be
mentally
prepared
to
go
into
a
place
like
that.
It’s
tough
over
there.
But
I’ve
got
to
say,
I
enjoyed
what
I
did.
I’d
go
back
there.
I
don’t
think
it’d
get
no
better
than
driving
a
truck.
Overseein’,
trainin’,
whatever.
Driver
training.
But
I
don’t
think
it
gets
no
better
than
driving
a
truck.
And
there’s
nothing
much
I
don’t
know
about
trucks,
from
to
back,
side
to
side.
I
know
trucks.
There’s
naything
wrong
with
the
trucks,
I
spot
it,
I
spot
it
quick.
58:00
102
The
truck
with
the
window
that
fell
out
and
hit
you,
was
that
one
of
the
Mercedes
trucks?
That
was
a
Mercedes
up‐armored,
it
was
a
prototype.
They
called
it
a
Franken‐ armor,
or
Frankenstein.
They
was
doing
this
to
try
and
build
a
truck
that
would
protect
the
drivers.
This
was
designed
by
a
company
out
in
Florida.
Rinopac
was
the
name
of
the
model.
1:00:00
I
was
taking
pictures,
but
they
had
that
truck
hid
so
fast.
And
then
they
had
it
put
back
together
and
got
it
ready
for
a
parade
for
some
general
on
base.
I
got
there
October
23,
2005
and
got
injured
January
4,
2006.
I
was
flown
out
January
23,
2006.
I
was
there
three
months
exactly.
What
were
you
doing
in
those
three
weeks
in
between?
Foreman
wouldn’t
let
me
do
nothing.
I
couldn’t
keep
my
balance,
I
was
uncoordinated.
I
was
doing
paperwork,
stuff
like
that.
My
foreman
talked
to
his
supervisor,
they
gave
me
a
one‐way
ticket
back
to
the
states.
1:02:00
When
I
gto
back,
KBR
called
and
wanted
to
talk
to
me.
I
said,
OK
how
about
12
tomorrow,
and
at
12
the
next
day,
they
were
in
my
driveway
in
Tennessee
–
and
wouldn’t
you
know,
they
had
the
pictures
that
I
took.
They
showed
up
in
my
driveway
the
very
next
day,
blowing
all
this
smoke
up
my
ass.
‘Oh,
you’ll
be
taken
care
of,
everything’ll
be
paid
for.’
That
was
AIG’s
folks.
That
was
the
insurance
company.
Nobody’s
ever
been
out
to
my
hosue
again.
One
time,
that’s
it.
One‐time
deal.
And
I
hope
I
don’t
see
them
again.
I’m
mad
at
them,
yeah.
Well,
when
something’s
your
fault,
what’s
so
bad
about
covering
people?
Why
go
through
all
this
bullshit,
when
you
can
take
care
of
someone
a
lot
cheaper
by
just
going
ahead
and
doing
it
without
paying
all
that
extra?
1:05:00
They’re
causing
a
lot
of
personal
injury,
mentally,
physically.
This
is
mental
abuse.
I’m
seeing
a
psychiatrist
right
now,
it
got
so
bad.
Taking
antidepressants,
Prozac.
Ritinol,
I’m
taking
that
for
depression.
Is
that
posttraumatic
stress?
103
It’s
just
depression
from
this
with
AIG,
cutting
the
checks
off,
not
knowing
if
I’m
going
to
pay
my
mortgage,
keep
my
family
close.
1:06:10
I’ve
always
been
a
hunter
all
my
life,
seen
blood.
That
don’t
bother
me
near
as
bad
as
some
of
this
crap
and
being
screwed
over.
AIG
is
screwing
us
over.
I
can
deal
with
the
post‐traumatic
stress
part.
I
don’t
have
a
problem
with
that,
I
can
deal
with
that.
It’s
just
the
being
screwed
over
part
that
I
don’t
like.
1:07:00
Do
you
understand
what
I’m
trying
to
tell
you?
If
you’re
going
to
take
care
of
business,
take
care
of
business.
I
trusted
them.
Then
when
I
got
back,
whoa
Nelly.
Yes,
I
got
a
nice
home,
but
I
worked
hard.
It’s
a
$300,000
house,
and
I
did
not
put
a
penny
down.
EddieBarker4
I’ve
been
working
since
I
was
6
years
of
age,
working
in
the
tobacco
fields
with
my
daddy.
We
worked
on
it.
I’d
plant
tobacco,
haul
it,
hand‐tie
it
into
baskets.
2:20
When
I
talked
to
David
[Boiles]
before,
he
said
you
were
in
the
hospital?
Yeah,
because
of
all
the
stress
and
aggravation,
them
cutting
off
my
checks,
not
knowing
where
my
next
check
is
going
to
come
from.
I
got
a
little
bit
on
the
loopy
side
and
was
going
to
piss
on
it
and
take
my
life,
I
went
into
the
hospital
for
a
little
psychiatric
treatment.
It
got
that
bad.
What
happened?
I
was
here
by
myself
and
it
was
five
years
to
the
day
that
my
daddy
died.
It
was
August
8th.
I
was
here
by
myself
nad
I
was
gonna
give
it
up.
It
got
that
bad.
They
put
me
through
so
much
stress,
day
after
day.
When
is
that
day
finally
going
to
come
where
they
say,
look
this
is
it,
we’re
gonn
fix
you
up,
get
you
back
to
par,
back
to
work.
That’s
all
I’m
looking
for
is
leave
me
the
hell
alone.
Get
it
done
and
over
with,
that’s
all
I’m
asking
for.
3:45
Was
it
Ruth
that
took
you
to
the
hospital?
104
Ah,
no,
State
Troopers
took
me
to
the
hospital
in
a
pair
of
handcuffs.
I
called
up
Mary,
she’s
a
nurse
for
Dr.
Rosenthal.
I
told
her,
I
can’t
take
the
pressure
no
more.
I
can’t
take
not
having
control
of
my
life.
I
told
her
I’m
just
going
to
end
it.
She
said
hold
on,
put
me
on
hold,
and
I
know
what
she’s
doing
then.
I
know
she
was
calling
the
state
troopers.
She
says
don’t
do
it,
just
hold
on.
Just
go
outside,
don’t
do
it.
I
had
my
9mm
out.
I’m
on
medication
now,
so
it’s
a
lot
better.
But
you
know
what,
it
should’ve
never
went
that
far.
I
mean,
I
got
two
boys
and
a
girl
that
I
love
more
than
anything
in
the
world.
With
me
being
a
pain
in
the
ass,
and
nothing
going
right
for
me,
it
really
put
a
lot
of
stress
on
my
family.
Because
AIG
was
putting
me
through
a
living
hell.
And
they
still
are,
but
with
the
medication,
it’s
not
as
bad
as
it
was.
Cause
the
treatment,
the
medication
it
don’t
make
your
mind
wander.
It’s
an
antidepressant.
Suicidal,
bigtime.
It
got
that
bad.
But
August
is
a
bad
month.
My
dad
and
my
brother
were
buried
on
each
others’
birthdays.
EddieBarker5
I’ve
smoked
cigarettes
since
I
was
knee‐high
to
a
june
bug,
so
I’ve
always
had
a
way
to
pay
for
everything
I
ever
done.
And
now,
I
don’t
have
that
control.
And
yes,
I
blame
AIG.
I’m
waiting
for
a
phone
call,
I’m
waiting
on
another
IME
now.
They’ve
got
to
send
me
another
date
and
time.
I
take
one
10mg
of
diazepam
a
night,
three
Zyrtec
at
night,
one
Prozac
a
day,
and
Envigra,
another
antidepressant.
This
is
all
covered
by
the
state.
The
medical
bills
–
I’ve
been
in
the
hospital
twice,
once
with
kidney
stones.
105
Clyde
Nipper,
Interviewed
September
7,
2008,
in
Salt
Lake
City,
Utah
ClydeNipper1
2:00
Since
I
been
back,
it
ain’t
been
worth
a
shit
to
start
with,
if
you
want
to
know
that.
This
is
my
every
day
if
you
want.
This
is
where
I
live.
4:08
You
start
it,
and
I
guess
I’ll
just
answer
as
we
go.
ClydeNipper2
So
you
can’t
go
on
the
computer.
No,
I’ve
lost
–
see
,I’ve
got
this
part
of
my
brain
blown
out.
That’s
the
part
I
had
,
where
I
used
to
(Clyde
came
back
with
an
IQ
of
76.
He’s
lost
the
ability
to
–
all
the
college
that
he
had
because
he
only
has
about
a
4th,
5th
grade
level
reading
and
spelling.)
1:00
See,
I
got
this
eye
blowed
out.
I
still
got
shrapnel
here
in
my
head.
Has
it
been
a
while
since
your
last
operation?
They’ve
operated
a
lot,
but
now
they’re
trying
to
cut
be
off
because
they
–
I
got
a
hole
right
here.
(Those
pictures
right
there
show
it)
They
put
a
plate
in
there,
but
now
I
got
a
hole
right
here.
The
doctor
that
done
the
operation
on
my
eye
and
everything
–
he’s
already
took
me
into
–
cause
they
won’t
pay
the
bill.
AIG
won’t
pay
the
bill
for
the
operation?
No,
for
them
seeing
me.
They
told,
when
they
called
up,
they
told
them
they
have
paid
my
maximum
that
they’ll
pay
on
that.
He
wants
to
fill
this
out,
cause
I’ve
got
a
hole
right
here.
That
was
in
November,
and
my
case
workers
complained
and
they
stopped
it.
2:50
Now
I’ve
got
to
cancel,
because
they’re
not
paying
their
bills.
106
3:13
(They
are
trying
to
cut
you
off
because
it’s
going
on
three
years.
We’ve
had
so
many
things
wrong
with
him,
so
they’re
still
carrying
him.
He’s
a
rarity
–
normally
they
don’t
carry
him
that
long.
A
case
worker
said
they
normally
cut
a
person
off
after
a
year.
With
him,
though,
they
said
they’d
take
care
of
him
the
rest
of
his
life,
medically.)
4:00
(They’re
contradicting
themselves.
They
say,
we’ll
take
care
of
you
as
long
as
it’s
accident‐related
for
the
rest
of
your
life,
but
then
when
anything
more
comes
up
now,
they
don’t
want
to
do
it.
It’s
an
AIG
case
worker
through
Corvel.)
They’re
here
in
Salt
Lake.
5:00
The
doc
gave
me
and
the
case
worker
papers
saying
I’m
done.
I
still
go
into
seizures
now.
What
they’ve
done
is,
she’s
got
me
going
to
one
of
AIG’s
doctors
now
in
two
weeks,
to
see
if
I’m
capable
of
going
to
work,
and
I
can’t
–
there’s
no
way
I
can
be
able
to
do
that.
But
they
pay
them
doctors
pretty
good
money,
so
you
never
know
what
he’s
gonna
say.
6:00
That’s
where
my
doctors
are,
the
hostpial
here
in
Salt
Lake,
the
University
of
Utah.
I’ve
never
been
in
bad
shape,
I’ve
never
needed
a
doctor
in
my
whole
life.
7:40
How
long
ago
was
your
injury?
It
was
November
of
’05
–
it
was
what
day?
The
25th
or
something
like
that.
How
long
til
you
could
come
home?
(He
spent
a
whole
month
in
the
hospital.
I
think
he
went
to
Baghdad
first,
then
over
to
Anaconda,
just
to
stabilize
him.
Then
they
flew
him
to
Landstuhl,
Germany
at
that
Army
hospital
there.
That’s
where
he
had
his
first
brain
operation
and
neck
operation.
We
figure
he
must
have
taken
a
lot
of
shrapnel
in
his
neck,
because
they
sliced
open
both
sides
of
his
neck
and
we
never
found
out
why
‘cause
we
could
never
get
the
records
from
Landstuhl.)
9:30
107
(The
university
was
never
sent
any
papers
from
Landstuhl,
that’s
what
made
me
mad.
I
had
signed
papers
saying
that
they
could.
He
came
to
the
U
with
an
infection
of
the
lungs
they
had
to
treat
immediately.
They
didn’t
know
what
they
had
done
to
his
head,
because
when
he
arrived
in
the
chopper,
he
looked
like
a
mummy.
He
was
all
gauzed
up
down
to
the
chest,
so
he
had
these
big
longs
scars
down
his
neck
and
the
surgery,
some
of
it,
already
done
on
his
head.)
10:50
(He
probably
went
into
his
first
seizures
in
Landstuhl
because
he’s
got
scars
on
his
wrists
where
he
was
tied
down.
He
actually
cut
–
show
him
the
scars.
So
hard
it
ripped
open
his
wrists.)
11:30
Do
you
remember
any
of
that?
No,
they
put
me
to
bed
after
they
pulled
me
out
of
the
truck,
I
can’t
remember
nothing.
What’s
the
first
thing
you
remember
after
that?
Well,
they
took
me
our
of
the
truck
and
put
me
in
the
SRV.
They
must’ve
given
me
some
morphine.
(The
major
said
they
had
to
put
his
eyeball
back
in
his
head.)
I
didn’t
even
know
it
was
bad.
(They
said
they
sat
him
up
by
the
truck,put
his
eyeball
back
in
his
head,
wrapped
his
head
and
gave
him
a
shot
before
they
took
him
away.)
12:30
So
you
were
conscious
after
the
accident
and
didn’t
realize
how
bad
it
was?
(He
was
probably
in
shock
.he
was
sitting
there
smoking.)
Is
that
right?
You
actually
stopped
and
lit
up
a
cigarette
afterward?
Well,
the
truck
died.
I
guess
I
went
after
the
military
pulled
me
out
of
the
jeep.
(they
were
going
right
through
Baghdad,
in
enemy
territory.)
Maybe
just
being
nervous,
I
don’t
know.
13:28
108
Basically,
we
went
out
on
convoys
all
the
time.
We
got
shot
at
times,
we’ve
had
double
military
escort
us
into
places
because
there
was
so
much
shooting.
This
one
particular
time
we
were
going,
and
I
was
the
last
truck
on
the
convoy.
We
were
taking
a
big
heavy
piece
of
equipment
to
Kuwait,
and
just
got
into
Baghdad
and
I
ended
up
hitting
that
–
14:22
(that
road
was
swept
for
mines,
but
I
guess
this
one
they
come
up
from
behind
and
threw
it
into
the
truck.)
I
saw
a
guy,
I
went
after
him.
I
was
gonna
run
after
him,
but
the
truck
never
made
it.
(It
blew
from
the
bottom
of
the
truck
up.
It
come
up
through
the
floor,
hit
his
left
side.
His
passenger
got
it
on
his
side
too)
We
hauled
big
heavy
tankers,
stuff
like
that,
there
always
had
to
be
two
people
in
the
truck.
15:22
(KBR,
they
covered
up
his
truck,
they
wouldn’t
even
let
nobody
take
photographs
of
his
truck
because
their
trucks
are
supposed
to
be
armored
and
they
weren’t.)
There
was
no
armor?
Hell
no.
These
were
all
brand
new
Mercedes
trucks.
They
weren’
United
States
trucks,
they
were
all
European.
No
armor.
16:13
He
was
off
to
the
side
of
the
road.
The
truck
died
out
on
me
before
I
got
after
him.
The
military
came
in
after
the
truck
stopped
and
took
us
out
of
the
truck.
16:45
(He
broke
formation
nad
went
after
the
guy.
The
military
saw
him
take
off
after
him,
nad
I
guess
that’s
when
the
truck
died.
Knowing
him,
he
was
probably
in
shock
doing
something
like
that.)
Oh
yeah,
I
was
on
my
road
to
get
that
guy.
How
far
did
you
make
it?
Probably
half
a
block,
maybe.
18:30
109
I
can’t
remember
nothing.
I
still
have
shrapnel
in
my
head.
I
got
shrapnel
in
my
leg
and
in
my
butt
because
they’re
scared
to
take
it
out.
(The
piece
of
shrapnel
by
his
eye,
they
said
it
acts
like
a
plug
in
his
brain,
so
they’re
afraid
to
take
it
out.
They
said
it
would
implode
his
brain
out
if
they
took
it
out.
That’s
what
they
were
afraid
of.
They’ll
just
leave
it
in
and
the
body
will
eventually
encapsulate
it.)
21:02
Besides
that,
it
wasn’t
htat
bad
to
work
over
there.
You
know,
you
got
to
see
some
beautiful
country.
It
was
just
a
matter
of
how
Kellog
Brown
and
Root
screwed
you
over.
All
you
was
was
a
number
over
there.
They
wanted
a
particular
type
of
person
over
there
and
that
was
a
truck
driver,
and
that
was
it.
So
you
felt
like
you
came
over
with
some
skills
that
could
help
to
do
something
more
interesting?
Well,
I
was
an
operations
manager
before
I
went
over
there,
but
you
know
I’d
been
a
very
successful
person
in
my
lifetime.
KBR
turned
around
and
all
they
wanted
was
a
dang
truck
driver.
It’s
too
bad.
22:02
The
woman
lied
to
me,
she
says,
just
go
over
there
and
they’ll
move
you
right
up.
But
you
know,
the
thing
that’s
really
bad
is,
after
all
this
took
place,
my
wife
and
my
grandson,
they
took
us
off
all
that.
We
don’t
have
no
insurance
whatsoever.
It
just
put
me
in
really
bad
debt.
My
wife
–
it’s
just
created
really
bad
problems
for
her.
We’ve
had
to
put
her
in
the
hospital.
It’s
been
pretty
distressing.
22:40
(He
was
in
the
hospital
getting
checked
up.
I’m
his
caregiver.
I
guess
all
the
stress
was
bothering
my
heart.
I
had
chest
pains
really
bad.
I
told
the
nurse,
so
she
says
I
can’t
check
you,
we
have
to
admit
you.
I
was
put
on
medicine
for
my
heart.
That
was
about
a
year
ago.
I’m
still
taking
the
medicine.)
We’re
still
paying
the
bills
too.
That’s
one
thing
I
don’t
like
about
KBR,
they
cut
me
off
insurance
as
soon
as
I
come
home.
24:00
When
I
got
blown
up
–
as
far
as
I
was
concerned,
I
was
still
working
for
them,
but
they
cut
me
off.
24;28
110
(You
got
a
letter
three
months
after
his
injury,
he
got
a
letter
saying
he
was
fired.)
Is
that
the
last
you
heard
from
KBR?
Yep.
Did
anyone
from
the
company
follow
up
with
you
afterwards?
No,
just
the
case
workers.
Nobody
from
KBR.
(I
thought
that’s
nice,
how
they
expect
him
to
show
up
to
work
if
he’s
bed‐ridden?)
25:55
All
of
our
injuries
are
all
different,
you
know.
Mine
is
mostly
in
the
head,
and
Big
Un’s
is
in
the
back.
Art’s
was
just
–
I
was
on
that
convoy,
but
they
took
me
off
and
swapped
me
a
different
piece
of
equipment
to
go
to
Kuwait.
26:45
We’re
always
in
the
back.
We’re
the
heavy
equipment
operators.
We
were
heavy‐ duty
I
guess
you
want
to
call
it.
We
hauled
nothing
but
heavy
equipment.
We
hauled
tanks.
27:45
How
was
it
keeping
in
touch
with
home
from
over
there?
(He
couldn’t
use
his
own
phone
over
there.
The
govt’
completely
cut
off
all
the
phones,
all
personal
phones
were
off‐limits.
)
29:23
(I
was
an
avid
news
watcher,
and
I
would
watch
scenes
and
happenings
over
there
in
Baghdad
and
other,
Fallujah
and
all
over
the
place.
I
knew
what
was
going
on.
Those
convoys
were
not
safe
at
all.
For
the
strangest
thing,
I
picked
up
on
the
fact
that
they
could
not
shoot
back
if
they
were
being
shot
at.
That’s
crazy,
that’s
absolutely
crazy.
The
military
too
–
all
the
drivers
were
not
allowed
to
carry
any
weapons
whatsoever)
30:52
How
did
you
find
out
that
Clyde
Had
been
injured?
(Oh
gosh,
it
was
probably
the
next
day.
Cause
he
got
hit
in
the
wee
hours
of
the
morning,
like
3
or
4
in
the
morning
their
time,
and
I
didn’t
know
until
the
next
day.
And
then
–
I
don’t
know
what
rank,
a
commander
or
somebody
there
in
Anaconda
called
me
and
told
me
he
ahd
been
injured.
And
he
was
(crying)
–
they
were
going
to
111
keep
him
for
a
little
while
but
he
would
end
up
in
Germany
and
they
wouldn’t
tell
me
how
bad
he
was
hurt.
I
had
to
get
that
from
–
like
a
couple
days
later,
somebody
that
wasn’t
even
in
his
unit,
he
was
working
in
the
office,
he
was
a
high
ranking
officer
but
he
was
in
Baghdad.
He
called
me
and
kind
of
went
over
the
same
thing.
I
started
pumping
him
for
information,
and
he
says
well,
I
don’t
know
too
much
but
I
can
tell
you
what
‘s
coming
in
on
my
paperwork.
That’s
when
I
got
all
the
details
of
what
happened
with
him.)
33:23
(He
told
me
about
his
eye,
that
he
took
extensive
damage
to
his
head
and
I
was
here
all
alone
in
–
it’s
terrible
hearing
that
because
you
feel
so
helpless.
I
didn’t
know
what
to
do.
He
said,
he
will
end
up
in
Germany.
I
didn’t
know
anything
about
that
kind
of
stuff.
He
said,
well,
that’s
where
most
of
them
go
up
to
Landstuhl.)
36:08
(he’s
had
a
couple
of
plates
because
one
plate
got
infected,
he
had
a
brain
infection.
It
was
a
staph
infection
that
went
internally.
When
the
plate
was
put
in,
one
of
the
screws
started
popping
out
of
his
head
here,
so
it
exposed
the
whole
thing
to
the
outside
bacteria.
So
he
got
staph
in
there,
and
it
was
so
dangerous
to
have
staph
on
your
brain,
he
was
on
intravenous
antibiotics
for
a
month,
6
weeks.
When
he
was
at
home.
I’m
not
a
nurse
and
I
had
to
do
a
pic
line,
his
IV
pic
line
a
couple
times
a
day,
we
had
to
change
the
tubing
and
put
medicine
in
there.
It
was
awful.
37:30
Did
you
do
anything
special
for
Christmas
at
the
hospital?
Well,
family
was
around,
but
nothing
out
of
the
ordinary.
They
flew
in
and
come
up
and
stuff.
Where’s
your
family?
All
over.
St.
George,
Vegas.
You
grew
up
in
Salt
Lake
City?
Yeah
I
was
born
and
raised
at
Salt
Lake.
Went
to
school
at
the
U
of
Utah,
and
then
Weber
State.
What
did
you
study?
All
business.
That’s
where
I
wanted
to
be
at
was
in
business.
My
father
had
a
business,
I
just
worked
with
my
dad
to
keep
the
family
going.
38:40
112
(He
was
a
professional
trucker
for
30
years.
He
worked
for
Weyerhauser
for
a
little
bit)
That’s
when
I
was
an
operations
manager.
(He’s
always
had
a
couple
management
positions,
but
he
always
fell
back
on
being
a
trucker
because
he
could
make
more
money.
That’s
why
he
kept
falling
back
onto
lon‐haul
trucking)
39:19
We
wanted
to
pay
this
house
off.
And
we
had
children
and
stuff.
We’ve
had
to
help
them
out
and
everything,
and
now
we’re
in
debt
because
we
had
to
refinance
this
house.
(that
was
the
whole
purpose
of
going
over
to
Iraq.
This
was
going
to
be
his
last
job
before
he
retires.
Then
he
was
gong
ot
make
enough
money
to
pay
off
the
house,
come
home
and
we’d
have
a
retirement.
The
house
would
be
paid
off,
and
we
could
finally
go
and
do
something.
Then
this
happener,
nad
I
was
left
with
a
whole
bunch
of
credit
cards.
We
had
to
refinance
this
house
and
they
ate
a
whole
bunch
of
credit
cards,
and
it’s
right
back
to
square
one
again.
I
had
my
house
half
paid
down,
but
nowi
t’s
back
up
there
again.
With
no
insurance,
we’re
back
into
debt
again.
Just
medical
bills.)
40:30
Are
you
working
now
too?
She
babysits
me.
That’s
what’s
so
very
disappointing,
them
making
me
go
see
another
doctor
in
the
system,
but
she’s
the
one
that’s
been
able
to
pack
me
around,
carry
me
around
and
stuff.
I
can’t
drive.
I
got
all
that
beautiful
equiopment
and
I
can’t
drive
cause
I
have
seizures
all
the
time
so
I’m
just
stuck
here
in
the
house.
41:30
Then
I
have
seizures
and
sometimes
I
have
short
seizures,
but
there
was
a
couple
dyas
she
said
I
had
real
long
ones.
(they
started
out
in
the
beginning
as
typical
seizures.
Fall
down
on
the
ground
and
you’re
semi
conscious,
you
don’t
know
anything
goin
on.
Like
gran
maul
seizures.
But
the
seizures
he
has
now
are
the
little
ones
up
inhis
head,
and
they
make
him
confuse,d
they
make
him
disoriented.
He
knows
kind
of
when
they’re
coming
on,
so
he
has
a
little
of
a
warning.
They
come
on
quickly,
and
sometimes—his
last
one
lasted
about
a
half
a
day.
That
was
something
new
for
us.
In
2
½
years,
he’d
never
had
one
like
that.
And
I
kept
trying
to
call
into
his
doctor,
qhich
is
a
seizure
eqpileptic
clinic
and
I
couldn’t
get
through.
So
I
just
gave
him
an
extra
seizure
pill,
113
the
dilantin.
And
the
doctor
said
that
was
OK
later
on.
That
was
around
noon.
But
he
woke
up
in
the
morning
nad
knew
something
was
kind
of
wrong.
He
wasn’t
very
well
for
the
rest
of
the
day.
That
was
about
a
month
ago)
43:30
The
doctor
was
mad
because
the
case
worker
never
showed
up
for
the
appointment
–
they
finally
got
me
in.
He
was
mad
about
that.
These
case
workers,
they’re
kind
of
a
little
flaky.
(The
case
workers
have
only
been
there
about
half
the
time
for
his
visits,
and
they’re
supposed
to
be
there
every
time.
Taking
notes,
reporting
back
to
the
company,
help
us
make
decisions.
We’ve
got
a
case
worker
down
in
St.
George
–
that’s
what,
500,
300
miles
away?
And
she’s
in
a
wheelchair
even.
Now,
come
on.
I
think
they
can
do
better
than
that.
Give
us
somebody
local.)
44:50
I
don’t
pay
them,
I
just
turn
around
and
mail
it
right
to
my
attorney.
Are
you
getting
workers’
comp
too?
Yep.
Is
that
in
danger
of
being
cut
off?
Yeah,
that’s
what
this
doctor’s
all
about.
[coming
up
in
two
weeks]
Two
pills
alone
is
$1,000.
My
wife
just
picked
up
a
couple
of
mine,
and
between
them
was
$400.
So
I’ve
got
about
$2,000
worth
of
medicine
I’ve
got
to
take
every
month
for
the
rest
of
my
life.
Are
those
painkillers?
Seizures.
(Dilantin
and
Capra
are
seizure
pills.
And
he’s
on
a
high
dose.)
46:00
The
money
problems
now
are
mainly
the
workers’
comp?
(Well,
there’s
no
way
we
could
afford
his
medicine
without
AIG.)
We
couldn’t
afford
it,
I’d
be
dead
by
now
probably.
But
you
know,
workman’s
comp,
they’ve
paid
me
up
til
now,
and
now
they
want
another
opinion
from
another
doctor.
I’m
afraid
it’s
gonna
be
like
with
Dave,
where
he
went
and
saw
the
doctor
and
he
said,
he
can
go
back
to
work
nad
he
can’t.
I’m
afraid
they’re
gonna
say
that
about
me,
and
thre’s
no
way
I
can
go
back
to
work.
114
46:46
(It
all
depends
on
their
definition
of
what
work
it.
He
could
probably
pot
plants
or
something,
but
he
could
not
support
himself,
nor
could
he
be
reliable
because
of
his
medical
condition.
Not
only
does
he
have
some
physical
deficits,
but
most
of
his
deficits
are
mental.
So
the
combination
of
it,
I
don’t
see
who
would
really
hire
him
if
they
knew
the
full
scope
of
his
disability.
Yeah,
he
could
string
beads,
he
could
pot
plants,
he
could
weave
potholders,
but
he
couldn’t
support
himself.)
48:13
All
the
things
you
studied
in
business,
do
you
feel
like
it’s
still
there
somewhere?
(That’s
part
of
his
mental
problems,
he
has
short
term
memory
loss,
like
a
lot
of
other
brain
injury
people.
So
it’s
the
loss
of
short‐term
memory.
You
could
tell
him
something
and
then
half
an
hour
later
he’ll
forget.)
50:00
(He’s
kind
of
–
I
won’t
say
accident‐prone
–
but
he
doesn’t
have
some
of
the
common
sense
that
some
other
people
will
have.
He
makes
a
lot
of
mistakes
thinking
he’s
doing
the
right
thing.)
What
do
you
do
during
the
day
for
the
most
part?
Sit
right
here.
Water
the
lawn.
52:20
What
was
the
reason
you
went
over
to
Iraq
in
the
first
place?
The
money.
Can
you
think
of
when
you
heard
about
KBR
over
there.
That
was
probably
June
or
July
of
’04.
They
hired
me
in
November
of
’04.
I
got
blew
up
in
November
of
’05.
Were
you
on
your
first
contract
still?
Yeah.
But
I
was
going
to
go
into
operations.
They
were
going
to
move
me
back
into
the
office,
and
I
had
to
make
this
one
last
stupid‐ass
trip
before
they’d
move
me.
54:20
This
one’s
gonna
blow
you
away
to
show
them
what
kind
of
assholes
they
are.
I
went
in
for
an
interview,
and
two
of
the
guys,
they
both
were
supervisors,
when
I
was
getting
interviewed,
they
went
to
sleep.
They
were
sleeping
when
I
was
115
interviewing
for
a
management
position.
Then
they
turned
around
and
gave
it
to
a
black
guy
who
never
even
went
into
the
interview.
He
had
my
resume
right
there,
showing
I
had
almost
my
master’s.
57:00
So
were
you
trucking
right
before
you
went
to
Iraq?
No,
I
was
in
an
operations
manager.
Weyerhauser.
But
I
wanted
to
pay
this
house
off,
get
a
smaller
job
so
I
could
be
home
more.
Being
an
operations
manager
for
Weyehauser
was
very
stressful.
I
just
took
it
too
serious.
I
was
a
trainer
for
CR
England
for
a
while.
That’s
right,
that’s
right.
I
was
trining
students
to
be
truckers,
and
that’s
what
I
was
doing
when
I
went
to
Iraq.
58:08
What
kind
of
stuff
would
you
do
for
fun
before
you
went
to
Iraq?
Fish
and
hunt.
(We
have
a
big
boat,
we
have
a
30‐foot
trailer.
That’s
stuff
we
really
can’t
use
right
now.
I
have
to
give
my
brother
–
if
that’s
what
he
wants
to
do.
Past
couple
years,
we
haven’t
gotten
out
and
done
anything.
It’s
very
depressing.)
59:00
Do
you
have
anything
coming
up
you’re
looking
forward
to?
Well
no,
for
now
I’m
pretty
much
stuck
right
here.
(they
say
if
he
can
go
six
months
without
a
seizure
they’ll
probably
give
his
license
back,
let
him
drive.
That
hasn’t
happened
yet.)
1:02:00
We
even
tried
to
get
a
senator
to
try
and
get
em
for
us
(medical
records
from
Grmany)
–
senator
Orrin
Hatch.
(We
told
him
the
problem
nad
he
wouldn’t
touch
it.)
His
relations
live
just
up
the
street
there
a
little
bit.
(Part
of
the
request
from
Orrin
Hatch
was
that
we
would
like
from
President
Bush
thanking
him
for
doing
his
duty
in
Iraq.
Clyde’s
even
a
Vietnam
Veteran.
After
he
come
back
home,
he
became
a
green
beret
in
the
guard.
So
he’s
had
all
this
military,
and
since
he
was
in
Iraq
under
bush,
we’d
say
gee
it
would
be
nice
if
you
could
send
a
letter.)
116
1:04:00
What
about
a
Defense
of
Freedom
medal
–
oyu
ever
hear
anything
about
that?
My
attorney
said
that
I
was
gonna
get
one,
but
I
never
heard
nothing
about
it
yet.
Gary
Pitts?
Yeah.
I
never
received
one
yet,
never
got
a
call.
It’s
been
a
year.
(I’m
fed
up,
I
just
give
up.
But
the
records
in
Landstuhl
would
answer
a
lot
of
unanswered
questions.
And
I
don’t
see
why
the
government
wouldn’t
release
them,
they’re
just
records
from
the
hospital.
1:14:00
I
don’t
know
if
it
happened
in
Iraq
or
if
it
was
in
Germany,
where
they
took
my
brain
out.
They
won’t
say
nothing.
(Another
thing
that
was
fishy,
I
kept
requesting
from
the
neurosurgeons
themselves,
would
somebody
just
take
a
brain
model
and
show
me
where
he
has
his
deficits,
or
where
things
are
missing.
And
nobody
would
ever
do
it.
)
ClydeNipper3
This
must
be
so
hard
on
your
marriage
too.
(I
tell
people
that
I
have
part
man
and
part
12‐uyear‐old.
It’s
I’m
sure
it
doesn’t
do
a
whole
lot
for
his
ego.
)
She
has
a
lot
of
–
I
odn’t
know
what
oyu
want
ot
call
it,
to
stay
with
me
and
deal
with
this.
There’s
gto
to
be
a
whole
lot
of
love
there
somewhere.
1:34
I
was
aninfsntryman
in
Vietnam,
and
special
forces
out
of
there.
I
had
a
lot
of
pride.
And
now
look.
(And
he’s
got
post‐traumatic
stress.
If
anybody
needs
it,
it
would
be
him.
We
sent
in
the
papers,
but
they
wrote
back
saying
it
was
denied
because
he
the
PTSD
came
just
from
Vietnam.)
If
it
was
Vietnam
they
would’ve
covered
it,
but
it
was
Iraq,
and
I
was
a
contractor
in
Iraq.
4:50
117
We
have
a
daughter
and
a
grandson.
I
have
our
oldest
daughtr
liver
up
in
Salt
Lake,
and
my
oldest
son
lives
in
Salyt
lake,
and
another
son
in
Idaho.
And
none
of
them
help
us.
My
daughter
comes
by.
My
grandons,
he
lived
with
us,
my
youngest
daughter
comes
by.
What
were
their
reactions
like
to
your
injury?
They
didn’t
give
a
shit.
To
be
very
truthful
to
my
opinion,
that’s
how
I
got
it.
(The
younger
kids
did.
But
the
older
kids,
they
weren’t
that
close
with
their
dad.)
The
tattoos
you’ve
got…
Those
are
from
when
I
was
younger.
That
Army
star
on
my
back
though
–
a
bunch
of
us
all
got
together
in
Houston
and
we
all
got
the
same
tattoo
back
here
on
the
back.
There
was
a
bunch
of
us.
A
lot
of
them
got
out
of
the
army
ot
go
to
work
for
KBR.
7:20
[scar
on
the
angel
wing]
I
don’t
know
if
I
got
hit
there
with
shrapnel,
or
if
they
cut
me
and
opened
it
up.
(A
Landstuhl
Germany
nurse
told
me
they
had
to
do
that.
He
came
here
with
it
–
tube
in
the
lung)
9:00
I
got
those
shrapnel
pieces
–
my
son’s
got
them.
You
gave
them
to
him?
No,
he
took
them.
They
probably
just
want
them
for
memories
or
something,
I
don’t
know.
How
old
are
you?
I
was
born
in
’49.
November
6,
49.
Yeah,
you’re
left‐handed
and
so
am
I.
(if
there
was
any
luck
at
all
on
what
side
of
the
head
he
was
gonna
get
injured
on,
it’s
that
side
–
he
is
left‐handed,
so
the
main
side
is
his
right
side.
He
was
spared
that.(
What
about
the
guy
in
the
truck
with
you?
He
hurt
his
shoulder,
but
he’s
still
working
there.
118
12:08
St.
Mark’s
is
the
first
thing
I
remember
after
waking
up.
I
couldn’t
talk,
so
I
wrote
th
nurse
to
my
wife,
cause
she
was
sitting
beside
me
(the
time
period
that
lapsed
was
a
week
or
week
nad
a
half
until
he
got
here)
everything
was
all
covered
up
except
one
eye.
That’s
the
first
time
I
found
out
I
only
had
one
eye.
(They
didn’t
know
how
bad
his
eye
was
injured.
They
were
waiting
to
see
if
any
vision
caem
back
in
that
eye.
And
it
just
slowly
died.
We
think
that
because
he
had
that
eyeball
in
tact,
the
shrapnel
went
underneath
the
eyeball
nad
back
in.
I
didn’t
see
his
other
eye
after
they
took
it
out.
It
looked
whole,
but
it
kept
shrinking
and
shrinking.
And
that
‘s
when
they
took
it
out.)
I
was
just
lucky
that
shrapnel
didn’t
go
into
my
brain,
otherwise
it
would’ve
been
worse.
15:30
Art
and
I,
we
talk
quite
a
bit.
We
talk
aobut
our
own
little
problems,
because
we’ve
all
experienced
pretty
much
the
same
thing,
so
it’s
kind
of
comforting.
There’s
some
others
that
we
talk
to,
they
call.
I
have
to
write
them
down.
(But
those
are
the
only
friends
he
has
now,
the
people
who’ve
been
injured.
Regular
people
won’t
stay
close
to
him)
17:00
(People
have
a
strange
reaction
to
people
who
they
cared
about
and
they
became
a
little
bit
disabled.
I
don’t
know
if
it’s
because
of
their
insecurity
about
themselves,
or
they’re
mourning
the
loss
of
ewhat
they
used
to
know,
but
they’re
not
the
same
anymore.
We
wihs
that
wasn’t
true,
but
that
its.
19:10
(the
only
way
I
let
him
go
was
he
kept
convincing
me
that,
well,
I’m
going
to
be
in
a
compound
and
I’m
going
to
be
safe.
It’s
completely
fenced
off,
but
nobody
told
me
he’d
be
going
outside
the
compound.
20:20
(When
he
came
home
on
a
leave,
I
didn’t
want
him
to
go
back.)
21:21
It
was
going
to
be
in
operations
–
making
sure
the
trucks
get
loaded,
stuff
like
that.
Just
a
paperwork
job,
is
all
it
is.
119
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xv
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VITA
C
Patrick
Michels
was
born
in
Bethesda,
Maryland,
on
November
9,
1982,
the
son
of
Mark
Michels
and
Elizabeth
McMinn.
After
graduating
from
Saint
Ignatius
College
Preparatory
in
San
Francisco,
in
2000,
he
entered
Northwestern
University’s
Medill
School
of
Journalism
in
Evanston,
Illinois,
receiving
the
Bachelor
of
Science
in
Journalism
in
2004.
After
two
years
teaching
middle
school
and
working
as
a
communications
officer
in
the
Northwest
Arctic
Borough
School
District
in
Kotzebue,
Alaska,
he
entered
the
Graduate
School
at
the
University
of
Texas
at
Austin,
enrolling
in
the
photojournalism
program
in
the
School
of
Journalism.
Permanent
Address:
1606
Graystone
Ln
Daly
City,
CA
94014
This
report
was
typed
by
the
author.
122