Maintaining A Girl Friend - Boy Friend Relationship

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matters of the heart are a difficult thing to deal with. love is a blessing from god placed in the hearts of men and women to fulfill many special purposes. it is obvious that in god's grand plan love is an important element. yet this "element" can easily be misused and its true purpose be forsaken. sometimes being emotionally attached to someone may cloud our judgment and hinder us from first having a good relationship with the one whom created us. having understood the very important and serious nature of "love" in islam, let us now try to answer your question in the light of islamic teachings. no matter how long or short you've been with your "boyfriend" you do not have to convert to islam. a believer in god wanting to marry a muslim has no prerequisite of conversion. as a matter of fact i would discourage you from taking this step towards something you have not fully grasped. with all due respect (i say this in the kindest of tones) "learning" and "supporting" your mate with everything is not the ideal way in choosing how to live your life, for the rest of your life. when or if, your love fades you may find your faith dimming as well, god forbid. i'm sure you're aware that islam is not a mere laundry list of beliefs; actually it alters many aspects of a person's life. you will know its time to become a muslim because god chose you and there will be no confusion between what you feel for a person and your convictions in the almighty and his religion of islam. o mankind! we created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other {not that ye may despise each other]. indeed the most honored of you in the sight of god is [he who is] the most righteous of you. and allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted [with all things]. (al-hujraat 49: 13) islam detests any form of racism or racial or ethnic prejudice. islam unites humanity, so any form of bias against one group or the other based on skin color, race or the likes is forbidden. his parent's dislike of "white" girls is related more closely to a personal preference and not based on any islamic doctrine. lastly, your relationship as girlfriend and boyfriend is not considered legitimate in islam or any other religion based on divine revelation. it is prohibited for him, as a muslim, to have that type of relationship with you or any other girl for that matter. this prohibition does not only extend to his status of living at home but actually extends until he has the respect to ask for your hand in marriage. even when he goes to college or whatever, islamically speaking, he is not allowed to have the type of relationship you've been having. you claim to want to become muslim yet both of you are breaking one of islam's cardinal laws and that is not to have an inappropriate relationship with the opposite sex (this includes but is not limited to affectionately touching one another, lusting, holding hands, hugging, kissing, having sex etc...). you must take this into consideration if you are truly sincere and mature adults wanting god's blessings showered upon your future family. i don't know his family so i can't really comment on their position but it might be fitting for you to consider the fact that your inappropriate relationship with their son has created a dislike for you. as i have explained, you do not have to convert to islam. your racial or ethnic background plays no role in religious matters, only your piety and deeds are of importance. your relationship with him is not allowed in islam and if he wants to teach about his religion then the first thing he must do is to bring this relationship within the limits prescribed by islam. his parents may have

preferences i cannot comment on. whatever you decide, keep in mind that whatever decisions, regardless of how tiny they are, you make may affect you for the rest of your life. if you truly believe and do what is right then you may find the truth and a love far greater than anything you've ever experienced before. i hope i have clarified the issue. god knows best ronnie hassan january 29, 2003 members login password understanding islam introduction brief history the team contributing writers top muslim sites comments/feedback report errors sponsorship sought copyright (c) 1999-2007 understanding islam, all rights reserved.