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Praise for The Execution Factor
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Practical and must-read advice. This book is exactly what the
10
next generation of entrepreneurs needs.
11
—B I L L S H AW, President, Entrepreneur Media
12 The Execution Factor should be read by all entrepreneurs or any-
13
one looking to take their career to the next level. Pay attention
14
and take notes—this book is a blueprint for success.
15
—J A M E S B O R OW, Global Director of Product Strategy, Snap, Inc.
16
The Execution Factor is for the entrepreneur in all of us, for the
18
person daydreaming about being their own boss while stuck at a
19
nine to five. Kim Perell knows what it takes to execute a vision,
20
no matter how big or small. There isn’t a better book to guide
21
you to turning your ideas into reality.
22
17
—C H R I S B U R C H , CEO of Burch Creative Capital and cofounder of Tory Burch
23
Since meeting Kim I have always been in awe of her entrepre-
25
neurial successes. This book is a great distillation of all of her
26
years of experience and the learnings she has gathered along the
27
way. If you’re an entrepreneur, an executive, or someone just
28
starting their career this book is a must have.
29
24
30
—E R I C T O DA , Director of Marketing at Gap, Inc.
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1
The Execution Factor serves as your personal coach for master-
2
ing the one skill that sets successful entrepreneurs apart from
3
others—execution. This book should be on every entrepreneur’s
4
shelf, whether you’re starting a company or launching a side hus-
5
tle in your living room. —F R A N H A U S E R , former president of digital at Time, Inc. and author of The Myth of the Nice Girl
6 7 8
Kim Perell has written a very personal and compelling guidebook
9
on entrepreneurship, how to execute with excellence, and on the
10
importance of resilience. It’s an extremely readable, powerful,
11
and personal narrative that I would highly recommend to all as-
12
piring entrepreneurs. I already have a dozen people in mind with
13
whom I’m going to share this work.
14
—J O N AT H A N A U E R B A C H , Chief Strategy and Growth Officer at PayPal
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
If you’re intentional about upskilling or upgrading, The Execution Factor gives you the framework and traits to get there. Through her own wealth of examples and applicable process, Perell has created essential reading that cracks the code on how to drive success in your life and work. —E R I C A G O L D E N , Global Talent Development at Apple, Inc.
22 23
Whether you’re a seasoned entrepreneur or just launching your
24
career, you will benefit from the insights and inspiration in The
25
Execution Factor. I wish I had this book when I was starting out.
26
—K E I T H F E R R A Z Z I , New York Times bestselling author of Never Eat Alone and Who’s Got Your Back
27 28 29 30
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An easy read with many great takeaways, Kim nails the pro-
1
cess of becoming a successful entrepreneur with her five traits of
2
execution. Kim is her own force of nature, and this book will
3
help you make your own path to success crystal clear.
4 5
—M E L R O B B I N S , author of Kick Ass and The 5 Second Rule
6
As a venture investor and advisor to large corporations I work
7
with entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs on a daily basis. Kim Perell’s
8
book provides practical and must-read advice to every aspiring
9
and experienced entrepreneur.
10
—E VA N G E L O S S I M O U D I S , PhD, cofounder and Managing Director of Synapse Partners and author of The Big Data Opportunity in Our Driverless Future
11 12
Kim Perell is a SPARK—she recognized early on that there are
13
dreamers and doers in this world, and she is undoubtedly a doer.
14
If you’re seeking to get ahead, read this book. It shows you that
15
success isn’t happenstance. You must work for it, and she shows
16
you how.
17 —A N G I E M O R G A N and C O U R T N E Y LY N C H , New York Times bestselling authors of SPARK
18
Everyone we admire took action and executed consistently to
20
achieve their success. Kim is right: Visualization without action
21
is delusion. This book will help you execute on the yellow brick
22
road to your Oz.
23
19
24
—K E I T H J . C U N N I N G H A M , founder, Keys to the Vault and author of The Road Less Stupid
25 26
To succeed in business you must be able to execute. Kim’s book The
27
Execution Factor provides the right strategies to get things done.
28
—S T E P H E N K E Y, bestselling author of One Simple Idea
29 30
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 N E W Y O R K C H I C A G O S A N F R A N C I S C O A T H E N S
29
L O N D O N M A D R I D M E X I C O C I T Y M I L A N
30
NEW DELHI SINGAPORE SYDNEY TORONTO
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Copyright © 2019 by Kim Perell. All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the United States Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher. ISBN: 978-1-26-012853-6 MHID: 1-26-012853-9 The material in this eBook also appears in the print version of this title: ISBN: 978-1-26-012852-9, MHID: 1-26-012852-0. eBook conversion by codeMantra Version 1.0 All trademarks are trademarks of their respective owners. Rather than put a trademark symbol after every occurrence of a trademarked name, we use names in an editorial fashion only, and to the benefit of the trademark owner, with no intention of infringement of the trademark. Where such designations appear in this book, they have been printed with initial caps. McGraw-Hill Education eBooks are available at special quantity discounts to use as premiums and sales promotions or for use in corporate training programs. To contact a representative, please visit the Contact Us page at www.mhprofessional.com. TERMS OF USE This is a copyrighted work and McGraw-Hill Education and its licensors reserve all rights in and to the work. Use of this work is subject to these terms. Except as permitted under the Copyright Act of 1976 and the right to store and retrieve one copy of the work, you may not decompile, disassemble, reverse engineer, reproduce, modify, create derivative works based upon, transmit, distribute, disseminate, sell, publish or sublicense the work or any part of it without McGraw-Hill Education’s prior consent. You may use the work for your own noncommercial and personal use; any other use of the work is strictly prohibited. Your right to use the work may be terminated if you fail to comply with these terms. THE WORK IS PROVIDED “AS IS.” McGRAW-HILL EDUCATION AND ITS LICENSORS MAKE NO GUARANTEES OR WARRANTIES AS TO THE ACCURACY, ADEQUACY OR COMPLETENESS OF OR RESULTS TO BE OBTAINED FROM USING THE WORK, INCLUDING ANY INFORMATION THAT CAN BE ACCESSED THROUGH THE WORK VIA HYPERLINK OR OTHERWISE, AND EXPRESSLY DISCLAIM ANY WARRANTY, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. McGraw-Hill Education and its licensors do not warrant or guarantee that the functions contained in the work will meet your requirements or that its operation will be uninterrupted or error free. Neither McGraw-Hill Education nor its licensors shall be liable to you or anyone else for any inaccuracy, error or omission, regardless of cause, in the work or for any damages resulting therefrom. McGraw-Hill Education has no responsibility for the content of any information accessed through the work. Under no circumstances shall McGraw-Hill Education and/or its licensors be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, punitive, consequential or similar damages that result from the use of or inability to use the work, even if any of them has been advised of the possibility of such damages. This limitation of liability shall apply to any claim or cause whatsoever whether such claim or cause arises in contract, tort or otherwise.
1 2 3 4 5 6 For my Dad and Mom, two of the greatest
7
entrepreneurs I know.
8
I couldn’t have asked for better parents or role models.
9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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Contents
1 2 3 4 5 6
Letter to the Reader
xi
1. Hitting Rock Bottom: The Truth About Success
1
7 8 9 10
T R A I T 1
11
VISION
12 13
Your North Star
14
12. Moon Shot
29
13. Living Someone Else’s Dream
37
14. Don’t Just Think It, Ink It
49
15. The Loneliest Trait
57
Vision—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
65
22 T R A I T 2
23
PA S S I O N
24 25
What You’re Willing to Sacrifice and Suffer For
26
16. What We Do for Love
69
17. Emotional Rescue
77
18. Fueling Your Fire
89
27 28 29 30
v
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vi Contents
1 2 3
19. Never Completely Submit to the Dark Side
103
109
Passion—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
4
T R A I T 3
5 6
AC T I O N
7
Taking That First Step and the Next One
8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
10. Setting the Stage to Act
113
11. Prioritize Action: Better to Start Than Procrastinate
121
12. Vision Quest
131
13. Fear of Flying
145
159
Action—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
17
T R A I T 4
18 19
RESILIENCE
20
Dealing with Obstacles, Change, and Uncertainty
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29
14. Life Rarely Goes as Planned
163
15. Bouncing Back After Setbacks
171
16. Fail Forward
175
17. Minds and Hearts
179
18. Practicing and Preparing for Resilience
189
Resilience—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario 201
30
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Contents vii
T R A I T 5
1
R E L AT I O N S H I P S
2
Having the Right People in Your Life
3 4
19. The Human Touch
205
20. Life Is a Team Sport
215
21. Audit Your Life
233
22. Sharing Your Success
247
Relationships—Trait Summary and
Real-Life Scenario
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
255
12 13
Conclusion: Creating an Execution Blueprint for Your Success
14 257
15 16
Acknowledgments
259
Notes
261
Index
263
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1 2 3 4 5 6 The road to success is always under construction.
7
—ANONYMOUS
8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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Dear Friend,
1 2
When I started my first company 15 years ago, I was broke,
3
unemployed, and trying to convince anyone to lend me money
4
was an uphill battle. Thankfully my 80-year-old grandmother
5
made a bet on me.
6
My goal is to pay her generosity forward by investing in
7
entrepreneurs who need someone to believe in them. And I
8
believe in you.
9 10
I am so confident that if you master execution, you will increase
11
your chances of success that I have created The Execution
12
Factor Fund to help you and other entrepreneurs turn your
13
dreams into reality.
14
The Execution Factor Fund will provide seed stage funding in
15
execution-led startups, providing early financing to entrepreneurs
16
and connecting them with industry experts. I am so grateful
17
for the success I have had, I am personally providing the first
18
$1 million to the fund, plus I am contributing 100 percent of the
19
royalties from this book.
20 21
Are you ready to execute your vision and turn your dream into
22
reality? Then apply to The Execution Factor Fund! For more
23
information on The Execution Factor Fund and how to apply,
24
please visit KimPerell.com.
25
Let’s get started, together!
26 27 28 29 30
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1
1
2 3 4 5
Hitting Rock Bottom: The Truth About Success
6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
I
15 ’ve been broke twice in my life. The first time was August 1,
16
1998.
17
OK, I wasn’t totally broke. I had exactly $366.42 to my
18
name. That was the amount listed on the balance sheet I showed
19
my parents as part of a presentation to ask them for a loan before
20
starting my senior year at college.
21
Yes, a presentation. I couldn’t just ask my parents for money.
22
Everything in our family had to be worked for. If I ever com-
23
plained to my dad about a long day at a job, he’d say, “Eight hours?
24
That’s a half day.” Those words weren’t meant to be negative;
25
they were meant to be motivating, and I took them that way.
26
Growing up, if we didn’t have and couldn’t earn what we
27
needed, we looked for other ways to solve problems—usually
28
around the same kitchen table I was using to make my loan pre-
29
sentation. While other families talked about sports, school, or
30
1
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2 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
politics at the dinner table, our conversations revolved around
2
the ups and downs of business—often from very different per-
3
spectives. My parents were both entrepreneurs, but they were cut
4
from very different entrepreneurial cloth.
5
My mother is all heart. She built a consulting business work-
6
ing within companies on their vision and values. They hired her
7
to help them with team building and to understand how to put
8
people before profits. While she has been relentless in her pursuit
9
of business, constantly reinventing her work, even pivoting to
10
take on new kinds of companies as clients, my mom’s career has
11
for the most part been and remained stable.
12
My father? He’s the complete opposite. He’s a vision guy—
13
a serial entrepreneur who sees opportunity everywhere. He has a
14
degree in engineering from Columbia University, but he has never
15
looked for an engineering job. When my parents arrived in Port-
16
land, Oregon, over 40 years ago, he had another vision. Or should
17
I say, many—sometimes too many. First, he pursued his vision for
18
a self-service auto repair garage where people could rent tools and
19
space to fix their own cars. Then, when the market for that failed
20
to appear, he took an offer to help fix a roofing plant and ended
21
up creating a machine to make roof tiles. When the housing mar-
22
ket bottomed out, he shut down the tile business, and he made
23
deals with the banks to take over foreclosed homes for pennies on
24
the dollar, refurbish them, and flip them. After that, he started a
25
restaurant, a bar, and got into the elder care business . . .
26
Most people probably would have given up the entrepre-
27
neurial life if they had faced bankruptcy as many times as my dad
28
had. But not my dad. He never gave up. He was always working
29
toward something, and he never stopped believing that success
30
was always waiting for him, just around the corner. And many
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
3
times it was. As a result, there were times we had more than we
1
needed and times we had almost nothing, when anything that
2
wasn’t absolutely necessary was a luxury. Like heat.
3
One winter our house was so cold that we layered up until
4
our arms stuck out like gingerbread men. Our old wood fireplace
5
was no match for the glacial temperatures. One especially frigid
6
night, the cold got to me so I went to find my dad to tell him. No
7
surprise, I found him buried in his massive old coat working in
8
the garage. When I walked in, he turned, looked down at my fear-
9
ful face, and before I could speak, he gave me a kind smile.
10
“We’re OK,” he said. “We’re tougher than this.”
11
And I . . . went back inside and continued to bundle up.
12
Today I can see the value of having two parents who are en-
13
trepreneurs, especially in the way they raised me. Even at the
14
lowest points, they believed in themselves. They committed
15
themselves body and soul to the futures they dreamed of for our
16
family. And they were tough as nails. Tenacity was a tenet I was
17
brought up on. If going a winter without heating was the price of
18
success, then we were willing to pay it—together.
19
Today I know that makes me one of the lucky ones. The abil-
20
ity to dream abundantly, combined with a willingness to put in
21
the necessary hard work, conditioned me well to overcome set-
22
backs, hard times, bankruptcy, and just everyday things that
23
didn’t swing in my favor. It’s hard to beat a person who never
24
gives up and has the grit and determination to be bigger than the
25
challenges ahead. I always rise to the occasion. I’m exacting and
26
relentless, which elevated my pitch for a loan before going back
27
to my senior year in college.
28
Making a successful pitch for anything that satisfied my dad’s
29
head and my mom’s heart was a challenge, but I was ready and
30
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4 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
determined to state my case. They listened as I explained my sit-
2
uation. I started by telling them how grateful I was that they had
3
paid for my tuition. This was no small feat for two entrepreneurs
4
who had worked hard for everything we had and expected the
5
same from my brother, twin sister, and me. Reviewing my item-
6
ized expenses, I reminded them I had worked all through college
7
to pay for my housing, food, and all my other needs. I had not
8
been wasteful or irresponsible. I was just a broke college kid who
9
needed some extra funds to make it to the start of school after us-
10
ing the last of her savings for rent. I would get a job and pay them
11
back as soon as I went back to school.
12
“I’m a safe bet for an investment,” I concluded.
13
After some discussion, I got the loan. Or should I say, I
14
earned it. With the loan secured, the conversation took a sharp
15
turn to my future.
16
“What’s your vision for yourself after graduation, Kim?”
17
Mom wanted me to get a stable job at an established reputa-
18
ble company. That’s all she ever wanted for me: to be true to my-
19
self, follow my dreams, and be happy.
20
Dad wanted me to be happy too. However, he didn’t want me
21
to take any job where there was a limit to what I could control
22
and how much I could earn.
23
I felt as most college kids did: overwhelmed and confused. I
24
didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do or what I saw for myself.
25
At that moment I was sure of only one thing: being broke
26
and now in debt to my parents, I wanted to make a lot of money.
27
Not being able to repay their generosity wasn’t an option. Invest-
28
ment banking seemed like an appealing option as two of my un-
29
cles worked for Merrill Lynch at the time. I also liked marketing.
30
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
5
I excelled in both subjects in school, but I knew I still needed to
1
learn more about them in the real world.
2
That fall, I did some schedule Jenga and arranged to have
3
classes on two days and to work on the other three: 6 a.m. to
4
noon at an investment bank and afternoons at a marketing com-
5
pany. I loved the marketing work, but I probably would have
6
ended up in investment banking had not one thing happened that
7
pushed me into a career I hadn’t much considered: Yahoo!
8
Yahoo! had gone public while I was in college, and by the
9
time I graduated, the dot-com boom was reaching a fever pitch.
10
All of a sudden, there seemed to be opportunities and money
11
everywhere. It was thrilling. It was a gold rush, and the Prom-
12
ised Land was the Internet. The frenzy was impossible to resist. I
13
ended up accepting a job as a marketing analyst at a dot-com—
14
the seventh hire at a startup in Los Angeles. The company was a
15
kind of 1990s precursor to Dropbox. I was there when we raised
16
our first million and when we raised $120 million more in ven-
17
ture capital shortly after. Things quickly grew exponentially in the
18
office, and we expanded to more than 300 people. I oversaw
19
the entire Internet marketing and sales division. At 23, I had 30
20
people reporting to me, many of them close friends and people I
21
knew from college whom I wanted to share the opportunity with.
22
I became a dot-com millionaire in company stock. I was on
23
top of the world. It didn’t last. Our biggest issues were timing,
24
volume, and pricing. Data storage costs were expensive back
25
then, and we needed to find a way to offset our burn rate. I took
26
the initiative.
27
As I saw my father do when he failed, I scoured for any op-
28
portunity for survival. That’s when I realized we had millions
29 30
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6 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
of subscribers for free data storage that we could monetize in
2
a different way. I knew from my work senior year in market-
3
ing that those subscribers were worth something to advertisers.
4
So I started to call advertising agencies to see if they were inter-
5
ested in advertising to these subscribers. Overnight, we moved
6
our customer services reps to digital sales reps. We managed to
7
generate more than $9 million in advertising revenue in the first
8
10 months.
9
The problem was that we weren’t an advertising company.
10
And we still weren’t sustainable as a data storage company. My
11
team’s ad revenue was the only revenue stream we had, and it
12
wasn’t nearly enough to keep us afloat.
13
Then in March 2001, the dot-com bubble burst, and my
14
company went bankrupt. I had to lay off all my colleagues and
15
some of my dearest friends (some of whom did not talk to me
16
again for years). They had bet on me. They had trusted me. I had
17
failed them. When I was done laying them off, the company fired
18
me too.
19
In an instant, it was as if someone pushed the delete button
20
on my career, professional identity, and future—not to mention
21
my income. Our stock was worth nothing. In a moment, every-
22
thing I had worked so tirelessly for had vanished.
23
At 23, I was unemployed and broke again.
24 25
Rock Bottom Makes You Realize What You Want
26 27 28 29
I have never felt worse than I did in the days and weeks that fol-
30
lowed. Having let my team go and being let go myself, I soon
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
7
became more determined to never, ever feel that way again. I
1
had loved my job, the company, and my team. I was devastated.
2
Simply put, I had failed people who depended on me. I vowed to
3
shift my thinking and build something on my own that wouldn’t
4
have that same outcome and to create the life I wanted.
5
But what did I want? I made a list:
6 7
Freedom
8
Be my own boss
9
Control my destiny
10 11
I knew exactly where to start to get these things: where I left
12
off. While the company I worked for was hemorrhaging cash, my
13
division was generating revenue. I was growing advertising reve-
14
nue even as the company crashed. The Internet was still growing
15
at a bewildering pace. Millions of new people were getting online,
16
and companies wanted to reach them. I knew there must be op-
17
portunities in digital advertising, especially for those businesses
18
that didn’t need or couldn’t afford a large advertising budget.
19
What they needed was me, and to start again, all I needed
20
was a computer, an Internet connection, and my experience and
21
relationships to leverage.
22
But while I had the knowledge and the relationships, I didn’t
23
have a place to live and work or the money to buy the computer
24
and get online. Love solved the first problem: My boyfriend at
25
the time was born in Hawaii. His parents said if we could get
26
there, we could live rent free in their condo for three months. My
27
family solved the other problem: I borrowed $10,000 from my
28
grandmother with promises to pay every dollar back as soon as
29
I could.
30
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8 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Within weeks, we were off to Hawaii—the magical land of
2
endless surf and sand, palm trees, and bright beautiful flowers
3
across lush mountain vistas—to start my first company.
4
Aloha! A-NOha!
5
There was nothing vacation-like about my move to Hawaii.
6
My new business took over the small condo from the kitchen to
7
the living room. My desk was the black marble surface of the
8
kitchen table island that extended from the counter. Wires and
9
cables for the computer and phone dangled like tentacles over the
10
side. We tucked the printer and fax into a nook next to the coffee
11
maker. Boxes and stacks of paper sat on the stove. I could have
12
easily been distracted by the draw of the sun and outdoor adven-
13
tures with my friends, but I stayed focused on growing my com-
14
pany and the life I wanted—needed—to create.
15
The only talk about the beach came from the voices of my
16
boyfriend’s sister and her friend blasting MTV six feet away from
17
me in the adjacent room talking about how great the island was.
18
Oh, there was one more thing: I was scared. No, I was ter-
19
rified. I may have had entrepreneurs for parents and some expe-
20
rience in digital advertising, but that didn’t mean I knew what I
21
was doing. The part of me that is most similar to my mother is
22
that we hate uncertainty; the part of me that is like my dad told
23
me to keep going despite the fear and risks—to persevere just the
24
way we did in those long cold winters.
25
And I did.
26
I sat and worked at that table every day for nearly three years
27
straight. Eventually, I hired a small team. I frequently stayed up all
28
night working, taking 8 a.m. calls from the East Coast at 2 a.m.
29
island time. I soon learned that in Hawaii, this kind of drive
30
and ambition tended to be seen as an anomaly. It was grueling
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
9
and beachless. While everyone left work when the surf was up to
1
find the best waves, I surfed the Internet looking for business op-
2
portunities. When the market for digital advertising dried up, I
3
persisted and looked for consumer products that I could source
4
directly from manufacturers to sell online. I bought and sold
5
products ranging from toys to teeth whitener. I did everything I
6
could to keep things going. I maxed out my credit cards to make
7
payroll.
8
But I never lost faith. Never lost control. Never forgot how
9
great it felt to be my own boss. Never took my freedom for
10
granted. During this time, I also got engaged to my boyfriend. I
11
asked him for a super-long engagement, but he thought the eight
12
years we had spent dating was long enough. He was right, so
13
the following months I started planning our wedding. Each day
14
went something like this: work, work, invitations, work, dress
15
fittings, work, work, wedding planning. I scrupulously budgeted
16
and tracked for the wedding the same way I did for the company
17
across many spreadsheets. And it all paid off: I married the love
18
of my life, and my digital marketing company was growing.
19
My company expanded as the online advertising market
20
grew and the demand for pay-for-performance advertising
21
proved to be a growth opportunity for digital companies. Within
22
a few years, we had generated over $3.5 million in revenue with
23
63 customers and five employees. Each year after, we doubled
24
our revenue. We outgrew not only the kitchen but also Hawaii,
25
and we moved back to California to be closer to my husband’s
26
family in San Diego.
27
Five years into growing the company, something happened
28
that changed everything. I was having lunch with a friend who
29
also owned an Internet advertising company, and he told me he
30
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10 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
was going to sell it. I thought to myself, Maybe I should do the
2
same. I hadn’t intended to sell my company when I started it. My
3
only goal was to meet my three conditions of satisfaction—free-
4
dom, be my own boss, control my destiny—and have the life I
5
envisioned. The sleepless nights, the stress of having employees,
6
and the 16-hour workdays had added up, and selling the com-
7
pany would give me time to fully secure and maybe even enjoy
8
my financial freedom.
9
I hired KPMG and put the company up for sale. In 2008, I
10
sold it for $30 million, including a two-year earn out. I stayed on
11
as its CEO, retained all my employees, and hired more to sustain
12
our growth.
13
Broke at 23, I was a multimillionaire by the time I was 30.
14
With my financial freedom assured, I also became an ac-
15
tive angel investor to help other entrepreneurs achieve the same
16
success. As of 2018, I had invested in over 70 companies, 14 of
17
which have successfully been acquired by the likes of Apple and
18
Intuit. One company I invested in was valued at over $1 billion
19
on the first day of its IPO.
20
Today I live the extraordinary life that I had imagined but
21
that at times had seemed so far away. I have incredible friends
22
and family. I remain happily married, and I am the mom of twins,
23
a boy and a girl. I get to travel the world and have a beautiful
24
beachfront home, two helicopters, and a fighter jet. (Why not have
25
a fighter jet? My husband is a stunt pilot.) I also love the work
26
that I do and the people I work with, but what I value the most
27
is that I get to do what I love professionally: work with great
28
people and help others achieve success. But I can’t help every-
29
one, as much as I want to. There is only one thing that no one has
30
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
11
figured out how to manufacture more of—time—and no cloning
1
company that has pitched to me is close to being able to replicate
2
humans, even if I wanted to try that. So I give as much as I can
3
when I can to the people who call for advice every day—not just
4
my employees and the people I invested in but people who read
5
about me in the New York Times and other media, heard about
6
my deals on the street, or worked with me in the past.
7
People who are striving to achieve, build, and scale their
8
visions.
9
People who are stuck, scared or just baffled as to why they can’t
10
move forward.
11
People who are wondering why their ideas failed to gain trac-
12
tion while other people’s similar ideas did.
13
“What should I do next, Kim?”
14
“How did you go from broke to millions?”
15
“Can you show me how to be successful?”
16
Good questions, and I’ve wanted to help answer them all. I’m
17
an ordinary person, but I live an extraordinary life. How did I do
18
it? I started taking notes.
19 20 21
What I Had Learned
22 23
Initially when I asked myself why I had succeeded, all I came up
24
with were things that had not helped me.
25
I didn’t grow up wealthy.
26
In school, I was an average student with average grades. It
27
was my twin sister and older brother who were bused off to the
28
gifted and talented school while I stayed back.
29 30
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12 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
I didn’t learn a special secret in college. I didn’t graduate and
2
say, “I will now execute at the highest level.” I said what most
3
kids said, “I want to make money.” And ended up broke.
4 5
I ignored my parents’ advice to find stability, control, and happiness.
6
I had always worked hard for everything I had as my parents
7
expected, but hard work wasn’t my point of difference. I worked
8
hard at that dot-com, and I still failed. I know lots of people who
9
work hard day after day and get nowhere.
10
It wasn’t IQ either. How many intelligent people do you
11
know who are still struggling to succeed or are toiling in obscu-
12
rity in the companies they created or work for?
13
Maybe it was my sheer determination and will to succeed?
14
I’m as ambitious and energetic as anyone I’ve met. I’m “go big or
15
go home” in every aspect of my life. But does that make me dif-
16
ferent from tens of millions of other people?
17
I also didn’t have one brilliant or unique idea. In fact, anyone
18
can have a great idea. As an active angel investor, I get pitched
19
dozens of ideas a week, and I have the opportunity to work with
20
many successful individuals, entrepreneurs, and organizations to
21
bring their visions to life. But ultimately, ideas are a dime a dozen,
22
right?
23
And that’s when it hit me:
24 25
Your idea is just a dream until you execute it.
26 27
Throughout my career, I’ve played many roles—founder, CEO,
28
angel investor, wife, friend, mentor, mom—and the one skill that
29
has driven my success more than anything else is:
30
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
13
Execution
1 2
Execution separates the dreamers from the doers: it is the ability
3
to do and get results—to keep moving forward to achieve your
4
vision and goals in business and life despite the challenges, hard-
5
ships, and obstacles that lie ahead.
6
Execution is what I and the most successful entrepreneurs and
7
leaders I have known had mastered. Execution disrupted compla-
8
cency and markets. Regardless of role, organization, or industry,
9
execution was the difference between success and failure.
10
As I explored this idea further, I found not only personal and
11
anecdotal evidence for my belief but also supporting data. Ac-
12
cording to Harvard Business School professor Robert Kaplan
13
and his colleague David Norton, 90 percent of business strategies
14
fail due to poor execution.
1
15
Furthermore, based on a Harvard Business Review database,
16
employees at 60 percent of companies surveyed claimed that their
17
organization was “weak” at execution.2 Specifically, these respon-
18
dents denied that their organizations were able to quickly translate
19
important strategic and operational decisions into action.
20
What I believe is that those organizations failed to turn what
21
they were doing into results and sustainable success. Action was
22
only part of the equation. I had seen plenty of dreams get stuck in
23
a nebulous place, whether they were caught in trying to begin the
24
execution process or confused at how to continue once they began:
25 26
●●
Why did one person’s vision or big idea never leave the
27
garage or computer (or kitchen table) while similar ideas
28
took off?
29 30
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14 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
●●
2 3
late their passion into success? ●●
4 5
Why can some people check-off everything on a to-do list and never move forward on their goals?
●●
6 7
Why did the most passionate people I know fail to trans-
Why did people resilient enough to pivot well in crises still fall short?
●●
Why can some people do all that but still find themselves
8
alone—failing to work well with others or still struggling
9
even if they did work well with others?
10 11 12 13
The answer is that those people didn’t or couldn’t execute. Now here’s the best news: execution is a skill that can be learned.
14
I know this because I learned it, and you can too. I didn’t
15
emerge from the womb a master at execution. That would be like
16
saying I was born into leadership because I led my twin sister into
17
the world by nine minutes. I don’t believe I have an execution
18
gene or that one even exists. My success didn’t happen overnight
19
either, and neither did the idea for this book. My method came
20
way before my message. The successes I’ve achieved are the result
21
and the proof that my methodology works.
22
And my message to you before you begin is this:
23 24
You can change the course of your life
25
by mastering execution.
26 27 28 29 30
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15
1
Take the Execution Success Test!
2 3
If you haven’t yet, now is the time to learn which one of
4
the five traits you lead with—vision, passion, action, re-
5
silience, or relationships—by taking my five-minute free
6
Execution Success Test at KimPerell.com.
7
Remember: Unlike other tests and quizzes that “la-
8
bel” people as one thing or another, you are not one type
9
or another. This test will simply tell you the trait you lead
10
with right now for perspective moving forward.
11 12 13 14
The Truth About Success
15 16
Growing up with two entrepreneurs for parents, I learned that
17
success was almost never a straight line. Things rarely work out
18
exactly as planned. They hit ditches. Encountered winding curves
19
that left them headed in the wrong direction, forks in the road
20
with no signs to tell them which way to go, and detours just when
21
they thought they had finally reached their destination.
22
Flash forward to me as an adult on my own entrepreneurial
23
journey. I was sitting in an airport, waiting to depart so I could
24
get home to my family after another business trip, when I saw an
25
image in my mind that looked something like Figure 1.1. I smiled
26
at the accuracy of the image. Success only looks easy. It was the
27
perfect summary of my parent’s and my paths to success. A per-
28
fect summary of everyone’s path to success. If I were more of an
29 30
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16 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
artist, I’d add a few dead ends in there. Some lows that dip under
2
the bottom of the frame. A few of those forks I just mentioned.
3 4
Figure 1.1 What Success Really Looks Like
5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
Success may appear easy, but it’s never a straight line. It’s an
17
odyssey of sorts. This book will not change that. No book can.
18
No one can.
19
While I can’t straighten the line to success, I can show you
20
how to prepare yourself for the pitfalls, setbacks, tough deci-
21
sions, and hard work that will inevitably come. I can show you
22
how to master the one skill that drives success (execution) and
23
the five traits that propel great execution (the execution factor,
24
Figure 1.2): vision, passion, action, resilience, and relationships.
25
Vision, passion, action, resilience, and relationships: These
26
are the traits you need to develop into habits to execute at the
27
highest level. But while I present the five traits of execution sepa-
28
rately in this book, you will quickly learn that the execution fac-
29
tor is an ecosystem: interdependent, not independent. The traits
30
are best viewed as equal parts of a circle with the point in the
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
17
middle being execution at the highest level—the point where all
1
five traits are deployed in balance. The point where I and every
2
individual and company should strive to live every day.
3 4 5
Figure 1.2 The Execution Factor
6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
The Five Traits of the Execution Factor
25 26
The connective tissue of all the companies I have created, in-
27
vested in, and worked for is that they all reached success by
28
ensuring the five execution traits were represented in their lead-
29
ership and people.
30
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18 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Vision: Your North Star
2
People who lead with Vision know where they’re going. As the line
3
to success weaves its messy way to the top, your vision is your
4
compass, guiding you to your destination. Let me be clear: hav-
5
ing a vision is not the same as being visionary. It’s about having a
6
clear picture of what you want to achieve. Without a clear vision,
7
you don’t know what goals to set or what actions to take. By tak-
8
ing charge of your vision, being exactingly clear about what you
9
want, and following your North Star, you are setting yourself up
10
for a life of greater success and fulfillment.
11
Just like running a marathon, your North Star can have a lot
12
of checkpoints along the way. For example, my vision is to mo-
13
tivate and inspire others to achieve their dreams. Unfortunately,
14
there’s not enough time for me to meet with all the incredibly tal-
15
ented individuals with great ideas, so I am executing on my vision
16
by writing this book, creating an execution platform, and using
17
the proceeds to help fund as many individuals as possible. Just re-
18
member: No matter what your vision is, it’s essential that you can
19
see it and feel it. It must be meaningful to you so that you (and
20
eventually others through you) genuinely connect to it. That con-
21
nection is indispensable. It will make you more resilient, give you
22
something to focus on when times get tough, and help you fight
23
through the fear, uncertainty, and doubt.
24 25
Passion: What You’re Willing to Sacrifice and Suffer For
26
How I see passion may be different from what you might assume
27
or have read before. The word passion comes from Latin root
28
pati, meaning suffering or enduring. Thus, compassion means “to
29
suffer with” (the compassionate aren’t immune to other people’s
30
pain). Think about all the times you have comforted a friend in
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
19
pain or felt someone else’s compassion. Passion is, at its core, a
1
form of pain that demands it be quenched. Simply put, passion
2
is not just about the things you love but about those things that
3
you would happily suffer and sacrifice for. Therefore, mastering
4
Passion in execution is about maintaining the emotional connec-
5
tion to your vision and goals. This level of emotion is necessary
6
because it underpins almost everything good in our personal and
7
professional lives: positivity, self-belief, learning, focus, satisfac-
8
tion, and above all, motivation.
9
In the workplace, people who lead with passion often have
10
relentless energy and determination that inspires commitment,
11
engagement, and performance in others. Passion will give you
12
and those around you a sense of meaning, sustain you through
13
the seemingly unsustainable, and enable you to dig deep when it
14
counts the most. Just remember: Our emotions drive the positive
15
thoughts and feelings in our lives, but they also drive the nega-
16
tive ones!
17 18
Action: Taking That First Step and the Next One
19
People who lead with action know how to take the first step (ar-
20
guably the most challenging) and then the next ones. They don’t
21
hesitate or get stuck in analysis paralysis. They know every time
22
they act, they get one step closer to their goals. It’s too easy to
23
play it safe and wait for all the data. It’s especially easy to get
24
distracted when you’re thinking far ahead. Leading with action
25
doesn’t mean discounting the importance of strategy and plan-
26
ning. Rather, it means knowing that all analyses and projections
27
are only approximations and guesstimations. You don’t know
28
what will happen until you start, and action-oriented people
29
know there is no wrong way to start.
30
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20 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
People who lead with action seize the day to make things
2
happen. They may be scared, and they feel the fear, but they push
3
it aside and do it anyway! That’s what I did when I got on that
4
plane to Hawaii to start my first company. Was I scared? Yes, I
5
was terrified I would fail. But I didn’t let that stop me. I faced my
6
fear and moved anyway. Just remember: Action without vision
7
is just busyness, and it’s important to not mistake busyness for
8
progress. In a world of limited time and resources, you need to
9
carefully choose where to invest your energy and not get stuck in
10
a hamster wheel of repeating the same action over and over.
11 13
Resilience: Dealing with Obstacles, Change, and Uncertainty
14
People who lead with resilience accept uncertainty and overcome
15
the inevitable obstacles and roadblocks to success. This allows
16
them to thrive in change. There’s an elasticity in their confidence.
17
They bounce back after setbacks. They know how to handle a
18
crisis, they have confidence and gumption in the face of impend-
19
ing doom, and throughout it all they demonstrate a tendency to
20
recover stronger than before. They fail forward.
12
21
Resilience is not just about dealing with obstacles, crises,
22
and setbacks. It’s about dealing with them in constructive and
23
creative ways. Resilient people know you can’t change the wind
24
but you can change your sail! This makes them inspiring—even
25
stabilizing—influences when situations are intense, conditions
26
are in chaos, or obstacles seem insurmountable. They believe they
27
have control over the events in their lives even when the world
28
seems to be working against them. They have heartset and mind-
29
set in balance so they know when to give up and when to con-
30
tinue despite the challenges that lie ahead.
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21
Relationships: Having the Right People in Your Life
1
Building healthy, inspiring, supportive relationships is not just
2
the cornerstone to successful execution. It’s the cornerstone to
3
happiness. The most significant element in any person’s life is the
4
people. We are biologically wired to connect with others, rely on
5
those around us, and work together. In short, we are at our best
6
when we have the capacity to collaborate. And of course, success
7
is always better shared. Honestly, I wouldn’t be where I am to-
8
day without all the people who have helped and supported me
9
along the way.
10
Great relationships aren’t a luxury. They are a necessity. And
11
like every other valuable asset, they need time, care, and attention
12
in business just as in life. Those who know the power of relation-
13
ships have an ability to recognize the strengths and talents of in-
14
dividuals and are guided by a win-win mentality, always on the
15
lookout for areas of reciprocity and mutual success. They also
16
know the importance of being with people who believe in them
17
and provide the strength they need to transform their vision into
18
reality. In fact, if you change nothing else in your life than the
19
people you spend your time with, you will have increased your
20
chances of success tenfold.
21 22 23
Ready, Set, Execute!
24 25
My life continues to be transformed by these five traits of execu-
26
tion, and I owe my success in business and life to mastering them.
27
I use them all the time—whether planning our next family adven-
28
ture, determining which entrepreneurs I want to invest in, work-
29
ing on the next big deal for my company, or writing this book.
30
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22 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Now you can master them too. And if you think you have mas-
2
tered them? Know I work every day to execute better to achieve
3
my life goals—and that means turning these traits into habits.
4
Mastering the five traits of execution will turn them into habits.
5
What does that mean? Habits are traits that have evolved
6
into something settled and regular—something so ingrained that
7
you do them almost without thinking about them. You want to
8
make the five traits of execution habitual and simultaneously
9
eliminate the bad habits that get in their way. Think of execution
10
like exercise:
11 12
●●
working out the other parts will compensate. Eventually
13
the parts you’re not exercising will weaken.
14 15
●●
your body will start to decline.
17 19 20
If you reach your goal working out, you can’t stop exercising and magically maintain where you are. Eventually
16 18
If you stop working out parts of your body, it’s not like
●●
If you fail to work even harder to push past your goals once you reach them, it’s unlikely you’ll keep getting better and achieve new goals. You will just maintain how you are now.
21
For some people that may be fine. Not for me, however, and
22
(I’m hoping) not for you. I want you to execute better in every
23
aspect of your life and then keep doing it better so you don’t just
24
maintain but grow to achieve even more extraordinary things!
25
In business, no one can afford to just “maintain” these days and
26
hold off the competition—for your business or your job. All it
27
takes for you to lose your job is one person or company who
28
wants it more than you do and executes better.
29
Oh, and one more thing: If you think these five traits sound
30
simple? You’re right. And that’s a good thing. This book and
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
23
mastering execution is structured in a straightforward, concise
1
way that gets results.
2
Remember: Simple and easy are two very different things—
3
and people who think they know better often confuse the two.
4
Besides, even when things are easy—and might save you some
5
pain or even your life—people don’t always do them. For exam-
6
ple, who doesn’t know putting on sunscreen prevents sunburn?
7
Sunburns don’t just hurt. Sun exposure is the leading cause of
8
skin cancer, the most common cancer in the United States. Yet ac-
9
cording to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, fewer
10
than two-thirds of all Americans wear sunscreen, even when they
11
have nothing against it.
3
12
Truth is, it doesn’t matter if you think these traits of execution
13
are easy, simple, or challenging to execute, or somewhere in be-
14
tween. In reality, many people who fail to execute just aren’t will-
15
ing to take the time or won’t commit themselves to do the work.
16
I didn’t go from broke to multimillionaire. I went from broke
17
to $100,000 and then from $100,000 to $1 million and then
18
from $1 million to $10 million, and so on, recommitting my-
19
self to execute better after I reached each milestone. That’s how
20
I kept climbing. That’s how I kept evolving. That’s how I became
21
the master of my success. Mastering execution will allow you to
22
reach your goals and mark new milestones. To become an ex-
23
pert, it will take time and a willingness to get outside your com-
24
fort zone to hone your strengths and confront your weaknesses.
25
The people and companies I know who have mastered execution
26
understand they need all five traits to be successful. It’s a balance.
27
Think back to earlier in this chapter to my list of questions
28
about why people fail to execute. Remember those people who
29
check off everything on their to-do lists but never move forward
30
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24 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
and deliver results on their goals? They’ve often lost touch with
2
their vision and stop making progress because action without vi-
3
sion is just busyness. But vision without action is just dreaming.
4
Passion without resilience will leave you unable to bounce back
5
from setbacks. Resilience without vision can leave you course cor-
6
recting to oblivion. If you use all the traits but you don’t have the
7
right relationships and you don’t actually value the people in your
8
life, you won’t get to where you need and want to be—because no
9
one is successful alone.
10
This is why you can’t just focus on the trait you lead with. It’s
11
like building an arch: the structure can be strong and complete
12
only when all the traits are working in tandem. You need to de-
13
velop all the traits to navigate the ups and downs and the zigs and
14
zags of success. If you took the Execution Success Test, you know
15
which trait that is. However, you must remember this: the trait
16
you lead with—and any trait you master—can be a great advan-
17
tage and disadvantage as you execute. It’s a double-edged sword.
18
Sometimes, you can have too much of a good thing, and when you
19
do, that’s when the traits on the opposite side of the circle get ig-
20
nored. For example, when I am deep in Action and ready to do do
21
do, I have to make sure I am still considering the needs of others,
22
not steamrolling other good ideas, or having my people do only
23
what they are told and nothing else. The reverse is also true. If I
24
spend too much time analyzing the pros and cons of an opportu-
25
nity, I might never act.
26
Think of the traits of execution as being like the forces of na-
27
ture around us. The sun is vision, the water is passion, fire is ac-
28
tion, earth is resilience, and the winds are relationships—beautiful,
29
harmonious, and powerful in balance but potentially dangerous in
30
extremes.
1260128520_perell_final.indb 24
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
25
Finally, before we continue, please know that none of what
1
you read and do when it comes to execution will lead to success
2
if what you are doing isn’t personally meaningful.
3
Throughout this book, I want you to be thinking about how
4
this material specifically relates to you. To make sure, I’ll be giv-
5
ing you Pulse Check exercises as you read, and at the end of every
6
chapter I’ll be giving you self-reflection activities and questions.
7
Those reflections start now.
8
What do you hope to get out of this book?
9
Something brought you to this point. What is it? An idea you
10
want to bring to reality? A business you want to get started? A pro-
11
motion you want to achieve? A boss asking you to step up? Per-
12
haps you’ve just experienced a major failure or disappointment,
13
and you want to have the skills to handle it better next time.
14
All that and more is possible, but there is also a bigger, more
15
important question you must answer too:
16
Why are you here?
17
Not just what do you hope to achieve, but why. If you don’t
18
know where you’re going, how do you expect to get there? Move-
19
ment in many directions is not progress. It’s chaos. Splintered at-
20
tention to a goal can bring you more pain than relief, but you can
21
have different actions supporting your vision. You can even have
22
different visions—personal and professional—at the same time.
23
But you have to know what they are and why they are important
24
to you to truly commit.
25
So . . . why are you here?
26
Take a moment to answer and write your answer down be-
27
fore continuing. You’ve got this!
28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1 2
T R A I T
3
1
4 5
VISION
6
Your North Star
9
7 8 10
Don’t let small minds convince you
11
your dreams are too big.
12
—ANONYMOUS
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
2
2 3 4 5
Moon Shot
6 7 8 9 10 11
M
12 ay 1961. The height of the Cold War. The previous month
13
had been brutal for the United States. The Berlin Wall had
14
gone up. The CIA-trained force leading the Bay of Pigs Invasion in
15
Cuba to unseat Castro was unsuccessful. And NASA’s space pro-
16
gram was failing as the Soviet Union’s cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin
17
became the first human to reach space and orbit the Earth.
18
President John F. Kennedy knew America needed a vision—
19
something that would rally the nation, inflate its heart, and in-
20
spire dreams. He delivered. By the end of the decade, he told a
21
joint session of Congress, our nation would put a man on the
22
moon and return him safely to Earth.
23
Less than a year later, in February 1962, John Glenn became
24
the first American to orbit the Earth, and NASA was back in the
25
game. Kennedy renewed his commitment to his vision with these
26
riveting words: “We choose to go to the moon in this decade and
27
do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they
28
are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the
29
best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that
30
29
1260128520_perell_final.indb 29
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30 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and
2
one which we intend to win, and the others, too.”1
3
On July 20, 1969, more than five years after Kennedy’s assas-
4
sination, the Eagle landed, and American Neil Armstrong became
5
the first man to step on the moon. Our nation would need all the
6
traits of execution to get there, but it was Kennedy’s vision that
7
kept the country motivated and drove us through it all.
8 9
As an entrepreneur, I have always shot for the moon and found inspiration for my vision by following what I call my North Star.
10 11
Your North Star
12 13 14
I have always had a North Star in my life: one big and bright vi-
15
sion that the rest of my life revolves around—an inner compass
16
that fuels my passion and determines my actions. When my vi-
17
sion is clear and compelling, I know where I am and where I’m
18
going. This is an empowered state that has served me well, and it
19
also happens to be the starting point for the first trait to master to
20
execute at the highest levels: vision.
21
Having a vision is not the same as being a visionary. It’s not
22
about seeing five moves ahead or building a better mousetrap.
23
Those are things you do to achieve your vision. A vision is about
24
having a crystal-clear picture of something you want to achieve,
25
as Kennedy did. The most successful people I know have a clear
26
vision of what they want to achieve—a North Star to maintain
27
their focus in a world of distractions.
28
Those who don’t have a vision are like Alice, lost in Wonder-
29
land, asking the Cheshire Cat, “Would you tell me, please, which
30
way I ought to go from here?”
1260128520_perell_final.indb 30
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Moon Shot
31
The Cat asks where she wants to get to.
1
“I don’t much care where,” says Alice.
2
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” says the Cat.
3 4 5
Those Who Lead with Vision Know Where They’re Going
6 7 8
Where do you want to go? What’s your vision for your life? Are
9
you Alice or the Cat? I’ve always had a vision of the life I wanted
10
to live. I wanted to run stuff. I wanted to make things happen.
11
When I was a kid, I saw my parents get knocked down and get
12
back up to keep pursuing their vision of a great life for us. My
13
childhood vision of that great life was more about immediate
14
gratification—earning money to get the things I wanted: an ice
15
cream, horseback riding lessons, a car. By the time I graduated
16
from college, broke and in debt to my parents, my vision had
17
evolved. I wanted to earn my financial freedom. I had considered
18
those traditional jobs in investment banking and marketing, but
19
I knew, with the vision I had, I needed to do something different. I
20
needed to find a job that had high opportunity, and that meant
21
high risk. So I took the job at the Internet startup before the dot-
22
com bubble burst.
23
You know how that turned out: the company went bankrupt,
24
and I found myself broke again at 23. I was devastated. However,
25
that experience helped me change direction on how I was going
26
to achieve my vision of living an incredible life: I needed to create
27
it myself. I didn’t just want to live an incredible life with finan-
28
cial freedom. I wanted to be in charge of my own destiny. I fought
29
through my fear—and the voices around me and in my head that
30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 31
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32 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
told me to take a more stable career path—and started my own
2
company.
3
Again, you know how that turned out: my first company
4
thrived, and I sold it for $30 million. The company had grown to
5
over $100 million in revenue, and I had achieved my vision for
6
that great life. But that success, first and foremost, had nothing
7
to do with what business I was in or the tactics I took. I certainly
8
never had a vision to build and run a digital marketing company
9
selling remote control toys, teeth whiteners, and wrinkle reduc-
10
ers. I did have the vision for freedom and control of my life, and I
11
did everything it took to get there.
12
My vision wasn’t to build a company and sell it. My vision
13
was to maintain the extraordinary life I had built. On the beach.
14
With my husband. Start a family. No matter what was thrown at
15
me or what challenge was looming on the horizon, I never lost
16
sight of that North Star. It guided me to where I am today. By
17
focusing on it relentlessly, my chances of success increased ex-
18
ponentially. Sure I had other visions—call them sub-visions or
19
micro-visions—going at any time, but I’ve found that it’s impor-
20
tant to have one that is front and center, a pilot commanding my
21
focus and energy. Visions can also grow and change and evolve.
22
The point is that at any time, you have that clear vision. Then
23
you can look at what goals you’d like to set or actions you need
24
to take to get there. Your vision gives those actions purpose and
25
meaning. The work is hard, but your vision drives you forward.
26 27
Without a clear vision you can see and
28
feel, you don’t know what goals to set or
29
what actions to take.
30
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Moon Shot
33
By taking charge of your vision, being crystal clear about
1
what you want, and staying on track with your North Star, you
2
are setting yourself up for a life of greater success and fulfillment.
3
Maybe you know this already. Maybe you’re like me and have a
4
clear picture of your life vision, and that’s your driving force. Or
5
maybe your vision right now is about a dream, a big goal you’d
6
like to accomplish, or something you’d like to do. Doesn’t matter
7
if it is all, some, or none of these.
8 9
Mastering the skill of execution starts by articulating and understanding what your vision is. Vision is first and foremost your
10
guide to where you are going and what you will do with your life,
11
not what you are doing presently:
12
●●
13
You can have a vision about the major purpose of your
14
life (such as making a positive impact on people or the
15
environment or having financial freedom). ●●
16
You can have a vision of what you want to do (like being
17
an artist or a learning to cook). ●●
18
You can have a vision that’s a dream you’d like to be-
19
come reality (like buying a house or starting a new
20
business). ●●
21
You can have a vision that’s a big goal (like running a
22
marathon or traveling the world).
23
The list above by no means covers the spectrum of what your
24
vision can be. The most important thing is that you have one. No
25
matter what it is, you must be able to see it and feel it clearly. So
26
without further ado, let’s look at your vision.
27 28 29 30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 33
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34 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Vision Pulse Check What vision is driving you right now? Write it down. Don’t worry if you’re not quite sure. I know we are jumping right into this, so if you’re feeling really stuck, think about what brought you to this book. I’m guessing there is something you want to do, build, create, accomplish, or make happen. What is it?
10 11 12 13
How did that go for you? Did you see and feel your vision? Was it crystal clear and right out in front of you?
14
Don’t worry if the exercise was difficult: Your vision needs
15
to be uncomplicated, but the process of articulating your vision,
16
let alone executing it, is often far from easy. And don’t worry if
17
your vision doesn’t feel exactly right. Whether you are dream-
18
ing big or starting small, you’ll have a chance to review, refine,
19
or maybe even change it as we move forward, so it doesn’t have
20
to be perfect right now. This is just the first step to finding your
21
North Star—that inner compass. The next steps involve defining
22
and refining your North Star no matter how clear you think it is
23
already and building guardrails so you won’t get lost in your vi-
24
sion as you try to achieve it.
25 26 27 28 29 30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 34
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Moon Shot
35
1
VISION CHECK
2
Questions for Self-Reflection
3 4
Before continuing, look again at your vision:
5 Do you feel that this vision is clear, compelling, and
6
meaningful to you?
7
Do you feel comfortable that this is the right vision for you—
8
even if you’re not sure how you’re going to get there?
9
Can you easily articulate your North Star to others in one
10
sentence?
11 12
If the answer to any of these questions is no, please go back and revise
13
your vision.
14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
3
2 3 4 5
Living Someone Else’s Dream
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
A
13 ccording to friends and family and a few people at work,
14
Darren made “the best chili in the entire world.” They
15
begged him to make it and to bring it to parties and potlucks.
16
Every time he did, they exclaimed, “This is so good! You should
17
open a food truck! You’d make millions.”
18
For his part, Darren never dreamed about owning a food
19
truck—or a restaurant or anything else in the food business.
20
He was a maintenance manager for a hospital. Had been for 17
21
years. He had nothing to do with food service. But every time he
22
made the chili, he heard the same thing: “We can totally see you
23
doing it.” There was just one problem: Darren didn’t. Eventually
24
he started wondering if he should . . .
25
Owning a food truck didn’t seem like much fun when Darren
26
thought about it. He didn’t even eat at them much, preferring to
27
bring his lunch to work to save money. Some quick searches on
28
Google indicated the business was tough—as tough as the restau-
29
rant business, which has a very high failure rate. But food trucks
30
37
1260128520_perell_final.indb 37
7/12/18 12:09 PM
38 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
were making up a growing scene around town. When he took his
2
lunch outside, he always saw lines at the half dozen or so that
3
parked on the street near the hospital. He watched the people
4
working the trucks and he talked to the owners. They all loved
5
what they were doing.
6
Darren didn’t think he would love it, but how could so many
7
people he loved be wrong? He started seeing dollar signs and
8
pushed himself to make it happen.
9
After the kids were asleep, he worked on the truck. He in-
10
vested his savings. He created a business plan, but the bank didn’t
11
see his vision, and he got turned down for a small business loan.
12
Instead, he borrowed some funds from his parents and a few of
13
those friends who had been egging him on. When he needed more
14
time to make it work, he chalked up his lack of progress to his
15
day job, and he quit to devote himself full time. He took classes
16
on food safety and prep in order to get his license.
17
After one of the owners of another food truck around town
18
invited him to work a shift with her, Darren accepted, and the
19
next day he brought her some of his chili.
20 21
“It’s delicious,” she said, and then she noted how unhappy he looked all day. “Did you have fun yesterday?”
22
Darren nodded his head yes, but he knew he didn’t mean it,
23
and she didn’t buy it either. To her, Darren just seemed stressed
24
and angry. “Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked.
25
“I will . . . eventually,” Darren said.
26
He wanted to believe that—wanted to believe he would even-
27
tually want to do this and be able to have the vision of himself
28
in his truck, serving chili to long lines, having fun. Other people
29
saw that for him, but he doubted more and more every day that
30
he ever would. A few weeks later, still stressed and now angry all
1260128520_perell_final.indb 38
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Living Someone Else’s Dream
39
the time, Darren was broke. He sold the truck, paid back what
1
he could, and thankfully was able to get a job doing the work he
2
loved: maintenance.
3
What happened? Why did Darren fail to execute on his vi-
4
sion and succeed—or even see the vision come to life? Because he
5
never wanted to open a food truck. Making chili for friends and
6
family that made them happy was what he liked to do. He could
7
be on his feet all day chopping, stirring, and cleaning to serve
8
chili to everyone he loved, but he had no desire to do those things
9
to serve strangers. The food truck was their vision for him.
10 11 12
Refining Your Vision
13 14
When Darren listened to his dreams of dollars and what oth-
15
ers envisioned for him rather than what he saw for himself, he
16
violated all three of the three critical elements for refining your
17
vision to ensure that you have all the necessary components
18
to bring it life. No matter your vision, big or small, the desire to
19
make money is not enough to do that.
20 21
Your vision must ●●
Be crystal clear.
●●
Be meaningful.
●●
Feel comfortable and congruent with who you are.
22 23 24 25 26
Be Crystal Clear
27
You need to be able to see your vision, feel it, and touch it. You
28
must then be able to clearly articulate that vision to yourself
29
and others.
30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 39
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40 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Darren never saw his vision for his food truck; only others
2
did. That won’t work. People without passion are transparent.
3
People see right through you, sometimes before you do, like the
4
bank that rejected Darren’s loan and the woman who owned
5
the food truck.
6
As I said, I have always had a crystal-clear vision of my life
7
and the life I wanted to live. As a kid, I could see working for
8
what I wanted, working for my financial independence after col-
9
lege, and controlling my own destiny and being accountable for
10
my own day-to-day actions when I started my own company.
11
That clarity is one of the tenets of my success. I had to make
12
sure my vision was crystal clear to those who worked with and
13
for me. They may have had their own visions to pursue, but I
14
needed them to share and help me achieve mine. They needed to
15
be crystal clear on that in order to truly believe in the importance
16
of where we were going. They had to see my purpose—know
17
my “why.” People work for people, not companies. A connec-
18
tion to your vision only reaffirms that paradigm. The legendary
19
Sam Walton was famous for knowing every janitor by name at
20
his Walmart stores when he shook their hands—and they wanted
21
to shake his. It was crystal clear that they were on their journeys
22
together.
23 24
Be Meaningful
25
Your vision must be something you feel connected to from the be-
26
ginning. It must compel your passion. Thus, it’s essential to ask
27
yourself, “Why is this vision important to me?”
28
Darren loved his friends and cooking chili for them. Where
29
he went off the rails was trying to extend that vision to something
30
that wasn’t meaningful to him and expecting that he eventually
1260128520_perell_final.indb 40
7/12/18 12:09 PM
Living Someone Else’s Dream
41
would come around. Does that mean if the food truck had been
1
meaningful to Darren or if he had been passionate about food
2
trucks, he would have succeeded? Of course not. But even success
3
would have been meaningless to him, which might have been a
4
fate sadder than failure.
5
Unlike Darren, I liked what I did and enjoyed the process,
6
but what made it meaningful was my vision for living an extraor-
7
dinary life. It was a constant reminder of what I was in it for and
8
why I had to stay committed. The only way I could see getting
9
that was to go out on my own and feel the freedom that doing so
10
gave me to do the things I wanted. I could go to the gym at noon
11
and work until 2 a.m. See a midday matinee or sit and just listen
12
to the ocean waves. What allowed me to revel in my freedom was
13
that I never wavered from my vision. That kept me focused and
14
fostered my passion. When I brought others on board, they never
15
doubted how much this meant to me, and I learned to let it fos-
16
ter their passion too.
17 18
Feel Comfortable and Congruent with Who You Are
19
Your vision must be exactly that: yours.
20
I admired Darren’s willingness to go all in, and he definitely
21
loved cooking and making chili. But that wasn’t enough. He
22
never ate at food trucks or worked in the food industry. It would
23
have been far cheaper to test the waters by working a shift at
24
a truck before he was blinded by dollar signs and bought his
25
own truck. He had never charged anyone for food or cooked
26
for complete strangers. He could have entered something like
27
a chili cook-off, seen how it felt to cook for people he didn’t
28
know, and have them judge him. Then he might have known if
29
the food truck dream was his or someone else’s. After all, just
30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 41
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42 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
because you’re good at something doesn’t necessarily mean that
2
it is a passion of yours. Sometimes we like to just enjoy the skills
3
for what they are rather than developing or monetizing them—
4
like a musical instrument you enjoyed messing around with but
5
never wanted to take lessons on.
6
You must instinctively feel comfortable with your vision.
7
There should be no reservations. If you have them, you need to
8
investigate that uncertainty. If you have a sense of anger, stress, or
9
doubt when you think about your vision, take some time to as-
10
sess why. Double-check that it’s what is right for you and what
11
you truly want. I’m not talking about fear or anxiety and whether
12
you can be successful. Those feelings are normal. As I said, when
13
I started my own company, I was terrified. But I knew my vision
14
was right. In fact, it was who I am. As a child of entrepreneurs,
15
this vision of freedom was in my bones. This gave me an acute
16
ability to identify when I was chasing a dream for me, not being
17
pressured to chase one that wasn’t mine. Too often our visions
18
are something others want or expect from us, and that creates a
19
distance from what we truly desire. My parents let me figure this
20
out for myself, and you must as well.
21 22
Bringing Your Vision to Life
23 24 25
Now that you know the three essential components for refining
26
your vision, I’m going to tell you a story about seeing your vision
27
and bringing it to life. It’s personal to me, a family heirloom that’s
28
been passed down for generations. My grandfather told it to my
29
dad, who told it to me and my sister when we were kids, and it is
30
a great illustration of this idea.
1260128520_perell_final.indb 42
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Living Someone Else’s Dream
43
Two young men were working on the railroad, laying track
1
beside each other every single day for a year. They had lunch ev-
2
ery day and talked about everything from their families to cur-
3
rent events to music to what would come next after this part of
4
the job was finished. When the job was done, the men were sent
5
to new jobs far from each other. They fell out of touch.
6
In his new location, one man befriended the foreman, and he
7
asked the foreman about learning new skills and how the company
8
worked. He eventually became the foreman of his own crew, and
9
he worked his way up over 30 years to become a regional president
10
of the railroad itself, overseeing its ever-expanding operations. On
11
one of his tours of the rails, the president saw a familiar face among
12
the tracklayers about to have lunch. The face was older and more
13
weathered than the one he knew, but he recognized it instantly.
14
The president disembarked from his railcar office and ap-
15
proached the man. “I know you,” he said. “We used to work to-
16
gether on these railroads.”
17
The two men exchanged a warm handshake and a laugh, and
18
the president invited the man into his railcar to have lunch for an
19
hour in honor of the hundreds of hours they had shared decades
20
ago. They spent the time catching up and reminiscing about the
21
old days. But there was a sting of sadness for one of the men be-
22
cause the “old days” were his current ones. Before they parted,
23
the president asked the other man why he had never tried to
24
work his way up the ranks the way he had. His friend responded,
25
“I get paid to lay track.”
26
That was the fundamental difference between the president
27
and the tracklayer: one went to work for a paycheck; the other
28
went to work for the railroad. One was building the company;
29
the other was building the track.
30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 43
7/12/18 12:09 PM
44 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
As I grew up, I carried this story and its lesson close to my
2
heart. My grandfather was one of the biggest influences on my busi-
3
ness mind. My dad was a serial entrepreneur, but my grandfa-
4
ther was a prominent turnaround CEO, and he had a special
5
kind of vision. He would go into a troubled company, see what it
6
needed, and devote his passion to fixing it up. He tirelessly fought
7
through the obstacles to turn it around, built relationships in-
8
side and out to get it sold, and then promptly got fired by the new
9
owners. He then started all over again with a new company.
10
My grandfather was the execution factor incarnate. He was
11
so good at it that the Wall Street Journal profiled his career in
12
1972. What’s more impressive is that my grandfather worked
13
himself up from the coal mines to get his education before he had
14
the vision to become the savior of those companies.
15
Given his history, I thought the railroad story was true.
16
It wasn’t.
17
I found that out later in life when I heard similar stories. I’m
18
sure you’ve heard similar ones too. Sometimes the men are con-
19
struction workers or fishermen. I’ve heard it told in parable form
20
in which a man comes across two bricklayers at a building site
21
and asks them what they are doing. One says he is laying bricks;
22
the other says he is building a cathedral. My personal favorite
23
(and one that is appropriate for how this chapter started) is the
24
one in which President Kennedy visits NASA and comes across
25
a young man sweeping the floors. He asks the man if he likes
26
sweeping the floors at NASA, and the man says, “I’m not sweep-
27
ing floors. I’m helping send a man to the moon.”
28
The fact that none of these stories are true does not dimin-
29
ish their power to me. In fact, they only reinforce the point of
30
how much more engaged and committed people are who see the
1260128520_perell_final.indb 44
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Living Someone Else’s Dream
45
railroad beyond the track, the cathedral beyond the bricks, and
1
the moon beyond the broom.
2 3 4
Painting a crystal-clear picture of what you
5
want to achieve and knowing exactly what it
6
will look like when you get there is essential.
7 8 9
Visions will help clarify and keep you focused on what’s important to you. They can also express your meaning and purpose.
10
The equation is simple: the vision you have determines your com-
11
mitment and the meaning of what you are doing. All you need to
12
do is bring your vision to life. Michelangelo believed that all his
13
sculptures were alive inside the block of marble, and it was
14
his job to carve them out and let them breathe. Your first step is
15
not to start sculpting yet but to use the process of visualization—
16
to see beyond the possibilities that are right in front of you.
17
Imagery is incredibly powerful in directing our conscious and
18
even unconscious behaviors. Images penetrate the entire mind
19
and influence us in more ways than we can see. A lot of research
20
supports how visualizing an action or an outcome makes you
21
much more likely to be able to execute it. Sometimes it leads to
22
success even without action. In one study, subjects were divided
23
into two groups. For one month one group did conditioning ex-
24
ercises on their arms; the other simply visualized doing the exer-
25
cises. At the end of the month, those who exercised their biceps
26
increased muscle mass by 28 percent.
27
What’s fascinating is that those who merely imagined doing
28
the exercise increased muscle mass by 24 percent! Those who sim-
29
ply visualized the exercises physically saw changes. Wild, right?1
30
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46 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
This is why visualization as a practice is so important: ev-
2
ery time you see yourself doing an action, you are actually using
3
the same neural pathways that you use to actually perform that
4
action. Therefore, repetitive visualization will reinforce the mes-
5
sage as well as the action. If you get specific and clear about what
6
you want and you are able to see it—to animate and really pic-
7
ture it—then you can make it happen. That’s because seeing is
8
more than believing. A vision elicits emotion. It can fire you up,
9
clarify your goals, and help you stay focused. Your body, mind,
10
and spirit can devote themselves to something you can see. Think
11
about all the powerful words that have sight in them that repre-
12
sent wisdom: insight, foresight, hindsight, and others.
13
One great way to do this is to visualize your vision as if you
14
have already achieved it, to give yourself a bird’s-eye view of your
15
achievement. Imagine yourself being successful. What would you
16
see, hear, or feel if you had achieved the vision already? Really
17
put yourself in the feeling as if it has already happened. For ex-
18
ample, if your vision is to start your own business, how can you
19
bring that vision to life?
20 21
●●
What would you see? Is it a small office or a big build-
22
ing? Are you working on your own or with a team? What
23
does it look like? Can you picture running meetings in a
24
conference room?
25
●●
What would you feel? Is it the excitement of sitting at
26
your desk each morning, or pitching your business to
27
potential investors? What would the energy be like?
28
●●
What would you hear? Is it the buzz of staff or the ring of
29
a bell with each sale? Is it the interview where someone is
30
asking how you got there?
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Living Someone Else’s Dream
47
It’s important to note that none of these questions have any-
1
thing to do with what you might call “goal setting.” You can’t
2
break down a vision into goals and actionable steps if you can’t
3
see it in your mind. How can you know what it will take to
4
achieve a vision if you haven’t mapped the steps to get there and
5
you don’t know what you are looking for? Right now is the time
6
to make sure that what you see is as big as it can be. Whether
7
your vision is big or small, make sure it is the railroad, cathedral,
8
or moon of its kind!
9
The biggest mistake you can ever make is not to dream big,
10
expansive, or bold enough. Experience and data may tell you
11
otherwise, but they are only two of the many factors that go into
12
your vision. Yes, your vision must be real, not a mirage or a hal-
13
lucination. This isn’t about wishful thinking. Your vision needs to
14
be based on reality, but it needs to include the biggest opportuni-
15
ties and possibilities you can see. But beware! There is one area
16
where vision building can get you into trouble: if you see a vision
17
that has little basis in your reality.
18 19 20
Whatever your dream is,
21
dream it bigger and start now.
22 23
People may treat them as synonyms, but reality and real-
24
istic are two different things. I’m grounded in reality, but like
25
Kennedy’s moon shot vision, I never believe that anything I can
26
visualize is unrealistic. That’s self-limiting. Which is why I never
27
hesitated to get on that plane to Hawaii with just a laptop, a
28
$10,000 loan, and the experience and relationships I had to start
29
my first company.
30
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48 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
I admit that even I sold my vision short. I never saw my first
2
company growing beyond $50 million in revenue or ever reach-
3
ing $100 million. But after selling my vision short, I never let it
4
happen again—and I don’t want it to happen to you. It’s critical
5
that your belief in yourself is stronger anyone else’s doubt.
6
How big you see yourself growing is part of your North Star
7
burning at its brightest. Trust me, you are ablaze with opportunity.
8 9
VISION CHECK
10
Questions for Self-Reflection
11 12
Reflect on the vision that you wrote out in the last chapter, and take a
13
few moments to answer the questions below to make sure your vision
14
is exactly what it needs to be. Close your eyes and visualize it as if you
15
had already achieved your vision:
16 17 18 19 20 21
What do you see? What do you hear? What do you feel? Remember: Specificity will help you bring it to life.
22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
4
2 3 4 5
Don’t Just Think It, Ink It
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
O
13 n June 10, 2014, the headline plastered across the TechCrunch
14
home page read:
15 16
BAM! Amobee Buys Adconion for $235 Million
17 18
But unlike the sale of my first company in 2008 to Adconion,
19
I knew this sale was going to happen. In fact, this headline was
20
my vision. I had visualized it in my mind almost a year before and
21
then seen it every day since. I had written down my goal to sell to
22
Singtel (Amobee’s parent company), a date, and a publication on
23
a piece of notepaper and taped it to my bathroom mirror. I had
24
looked at my dream and myself every day.
25
My vision propelled me forward in the months it took close
26
the deal. It kept me motivated as I worked to get meetings with the
27
mergers and acquisitions team at Amobee. It didn’t let me get dis-
28
couraged when the banker I hired had to wait months to do his
29
job because when I brought him on, we weren’t as close to closing
30
49
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50 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
the sale as I thought we were. We were going to get there! It
2
helped me keep hope alive and energized when I started to won-
3
der if I could pull it off. Even when the doubt inevitably trickled
4
in during the year before closing, I returned to my vision on the
5
mirror—my windshield wiper clearing the view ahead. Through
6
the setbacks, obstacles, and enormous amount of time and energy
7
it took, I never gave up. I persevered.
8
I really don’t think I could have done it if I hadn’t been able
9
to see that vision on my mirror every morning and night I was
10
home. If I hadn’t kept a relentless focus and energy at closing this
11
deal, I would have floundered. But my North Star was on that
12
piece of paper, and it guided me for nearly a year, as I lived to
13
turn my vision into reality.
14
There are distractions at every corner, deadlines, meetings,
15
relationships to maintain, fires to put out, employees who need
16
your time, family and friends who need you—how do you stay
17
on track and faithful to your vision? With the world swirling
18
around you, how can you make sure you’re mindful of distrac-
19
tions and other events that threaten to take you off course?
20 21 22 23 24
Two ways: 1. Write your vision down where you can see it daily. 2. Use that as a reminder of how to prioritize your time daily.
25
It’s that simple! These two points will have a huge impact on
26
your ability to stay on track with your goal to execute your vi-
27
sion successfully.
28 29 30
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51
Write Your Vision Down and Review It Regularly
1 2 3
The importance of having goals has been well documented for
4
decades. Research by Edwin Locke, one of the pioneers in re-
5
searching goal setting and its impact on performance, found that
6
having specific and challenging goals led to a much higher perfor-
7
mance than did having easy or no goals.
1
8 9
But just having goals is not enough. You need to write that vision down. That way, it reinforces what you have brought to life
10
in your mind, compels you to think about it every day, and makes
11
you articulate and focus on it and share it with the world (or at
12
least anyone who shares your bathroom).
13 14 15 16
Vision Pulse Check
17
Right now, find a place to write your vision down where
18
you can see and review it regularly. Maybe it’s on your lap-
19
top. Maybe it’s in a notebook or planner. Maybe it’s on your
20
bathroom mirror!
21
If you don’t write it down, it will soon be out of sight
22
and out of mind.
23 24 25
According to research by David Kohl, professor emeritus
26
at Virginia Tech, 80 percent of Americans do not have any type
27
of definable goals. In fact, Professor Kohl reports that of the 20
28
percent who have goals, 16 percent don’t write them down and
29 30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 51
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52 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
3 percent write them down but don’t review them. That means
2
only 1 percent of people have goals, write them down, and review
3
them on a regular basis.2 Only 1 percent!? That’s a 1 percent
4
everyone should want to be a part of no matter what they believe
5
in. These are the people who are most successful for an action
6
everyone has in their power to achieve but precious few do.
7
Kohl also suggests that people who write down their goals
8
earn nine times as much over their lifetime as people who don’t
9
have goals. So don’t just think it. Ink it!
10 11
Prioritize Your Vision
12 13 14
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to
15
schedule your priorities.” I love that Stephen Covey line. He
16
wrote it decades ago, back when a tweet was just a bird noise.
17
Today, distraction is everywhere, starting with the phones in
18
our hands. According to Steelcase, the typical office worker gets
19
interrupted every 11 minutes and receives more than 100 e-mails
20
a day. It’s easy for your vision to get lost in the sea of texts and
21
to-do lists. There’s nothing wrong with those lists, but you must
22
keep pushing your vision back to the top of any list you make, es-
23
pecially when more urgent—but not necessarily more important–
24
items start to take up too much space.
25 26 27
Your vision should always be a priority.
28
You need to make time to execute your vision.
29 30
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Don’ t Just Think It, Ink It
53
Scheduling your priorities for your vision and then repriori-
1
tizing them every day means you are focused on the action steps
2
that are required from you to execute. This includes minimiz-
3
ing the noise in your life and increasing your bandwidth to la-
4
ser focus on what’s most important to achieving your vision. I
5
consciously built a support system around me that allows me
6
to concentrate on my strengths. I don’t waste mental energy on
7
things I don’t believe will absolutely contribute in some way to
8
achieving my vision. My friends tease me that I am the least ed-
9
ucated person they know on pop culture—songs, TV shows, ce-
10
lebrities, podcasts, fashion . . . the list goes on. But I’m happy to
11
sacrifice knowing what’s trendy in order to prioritize my vision.
12
In addition to my bathroom mirror, I have my vision on the
13
notepad of my computer, where I keep all my to-dos. Every time I
14
open the notepad, there it is, reinforcing the actions I need to take
15
and making sure I don’t lose sight of my North Star. Crossing off
16
things on a to-do list means nothing if those things are not di-
17
rectly related in some way to your North Star. If they aren’t, you
18
need to think about why and if the things you are doing matter:
19 20
●●
Whenever there is a possibility of change, determine what
21
impact that will have on your vision. Will it take you closer
22
or further away from your vision? Perhaps there is some-
23
thing you should not be or don’t need to be doing and need
24
to hand over to someone else. Perhaps there is something
25
you think you should be doing, but it doesn’t matter as
26
much as you think. Perhaps the things you are doing pla-
27
cate the people yelling the loudest for attention. Perhaps
28
you are focusing too much on others before yourself.
29 30
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54 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
●●
Make a point to regularly review your actions specifi-
2
cally as they relate to your vision. We’ll get into this on a
3
deeper level in Trait 3, “Action.” For now, one way to pri-
4
oritize your vision is simply to give time to it. Ask your-
5
self, “What time am I committing to my vision each day
6
or at least weekly?”
7 8
If your vision is directly related to your day job, those two
9
things should be easy. Shut the door, walk to a quiet room, put
10
caution tape around your cubicle . . . whatever it takes to make
11
the time. For other types of visions, you’re going to need to carve
12
out time. This means you will need to spend less time somewhere
13
else and stop doing something that isn’t serving you. For me, I
14
stopped watching TV. Sure, I find time for the occasional show,
15
but I don’t watch TV as much as I used to.
16 17
What are you going to stop doing so you can give more time to your vision?
18
In the end, think of your vision as the story you want to write
19
for yourself and share with the world. Think of it like your favor-
20
ite story as a kid. Personally, I loved Where the Wild Things Are.
21
Did you know Maurice Sendak wrote the book based on his vi-
22
sion of his childhood experiences? He was often in bed and sent
23
there without any supper. The wild things he encounters in the
24
jungle his room becomes were based on his family, and they are
25
menacing until Max intimidates them all and becomes their king.
26
But Max soon realizes he feels lonely and misses his family. He
27
decides to return home to the people he loves instead of getting
28
more lost in the vision he created.
29 30
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Don’ t Just Think It, Ink It
55
These are perfect words of warning to all people who lead
1
and get lost in vision when trying to execute: visions are nothing
2
but dreams without action.
3 4
VISION CHECK
5
Questions for Self-Reflection
6
What could get in the way, or pull you off track of achieving the vision
8
you wrote down?
9
7
10
How are you going to give and plan more time to your vision?
11
What are you going to stop doing so you have more time to it?
12
How will you know if you’re off track and out of alignment with
13
your vision?
14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
5
2 3 4 5
The Loneliest Trait
6 7 8 9
M
10 y parents met in Youngstown, Ohio, but they had no de-
11
sire to settle there. They had a vision of their future and
12
after college set off to find it. Since this was long before the Inter-
13
net and because pictures in guidebooks could only say so much,
14
they took three months to drive around the United States—down
15
to the South, through Texas, across the Mountain West and the
16
desert. Wherever they ended up, they’d camp and backpack, do-
17
ing pretty much whatever they wanted as long as it stayed under
18
their budget of $20 a day.
19
New Mexico seemed nice, but the heat was stifling. San Di-
20
ego had perfect weather, but my dad wasn’t crazy about its sub-
21
urban sprawl. They finally settled on Portland, Oregon, with its
22
mix of urban opportunity and outdoor life, the mountains and
23
the ocean just an hour away. Ironically, what also attracted my
24
parents to Portland was the notion that the city would keep them
25
away from entrepreneurialism. It didn’t.
26
Since my mom took time off to raise me, my twin sister, and
27
my older brother, my father became my first role model for what
28
an entrepreneur could be. Both of my parents are passionate,
29
driven, giving people, but my dad inspired me to go after the big-
30
57
1260128520_perell_final.indb 57
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58 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
gest vision I have in life and never let up until I achieve it. The
2
man was, and still is, tireless—relentless. He’s a real shoot-the-
3
moon type. While my mother was practical and pragmatic, Dad
4
had the boundless confidence and unwavering determination to
5
explore over-the-top ideas. What does the world need? What can
6
I contribute? How can I create that?
7
While Dad hired people to do various tasks, he often took
8
care of everything. When he was in property development, he
9
was out there building and figuring out ways to modernize the
10
work. It’s no wonder I loved going to work with him and spend-
11
ing my weekends at his construction sites. Most of my life, my
12
dad would be gone for a few days every week pursuing whatever
13
boundless vision he had for the future and where the opportuni-
14
ties were: a self-service auto repair garage, roofing tiles, real es-
15
tate, restaurants, bars, and beyond. As I write this book, he has
16
turned 70, and is developing a residential care business that he
17
believes will transform healthcare services for the elderly.
18
My dad will never retire. He can’t. Like many people who
19
lead with vision, Dad needs to keep exploring, building, and
20
pushing forward to bring his vision to life. People like my dad
21
love to create—and they keep finding new ideas to work on any
22
hour of the day. If I call my dad on my way home at 8 p.m. af-
23
ter more than 12 hours at work, he’ll never fail to ask why I am
24
“taking off so early.” Only part of him is joking because my dad
25
always believes he can be doing more in business.
26 27
When People Get Stuck in a Vision
28 29
But while my dad is my inspiration, he is also my first caution-
30
ary tale for what happens when people get stuck in vision—and
1260128520_perell_final.indb 58
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The Loneliest Trait
59
what happens when they get bored with the visions they have
1
and lose focus.
2
Dad’s forte is not maintaining what he builds or operation-
3
alizing it. As a result, people like my dad fail to execute at the
4
level they could or should. Their drive gets them into risky deals
5
and high-stakes investments, and they are blinded by what they
6
believe is possible. They can also commit to something so risky
7
it endangers not just the businesses but also their families, and
8
sometimes they lose it all.
9
That’s the ultimate pitfall for people stuck in vision: they
10
can’t let go no matter what the consequences are.
11
The best way to describe how my dad and I are different is
12
how we gamble when we go to Las Vegas. When I win, I take
13
some money off the table and hold on to it and let the rest ride. I
14
take chances, but I am very careful to calculate the bets I am will-
15
ing to make. My dad will never take money off the table. He will
16
go all in with all he has. He doesn’t care if he loses it all as long
17
as he has a chance to make it big. That’s his attitude: “Let’s just
18
go for it, make our luck, and seize the possibilities to change the
19
world.”
20 21 22
Five Tips for Not Getting Lost in Vision
23 24
There are many wonderful things about my father that I try
25
to emulate every day. But how can you be the best parts of my
26
dad and other visionaries and not get lost in the trappings of
27
your vision? How can you avoid letting your vision consume
28
you so much that it affects and even corrupts all other parts of
29
execution?
30
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60 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
1. Don’t get lost in thinking.
2
2. Understand timing is everything.
3
3. Know ideas are a dime a dozen.
4
4. Make sure your vision is a business.
5
5. Accept that feedback is a gift.
6 7
1. Don’t Get Lost in Thinking
8
The vision space can be exciting and energizing, but be careful
9
you don’t spend too much time thinking and not enough time do-
10
ing. My dad was always thinking about what comes next. As a
11
result, he would lose focus on one vision while he started to envi-
12
sion something else.
13
This overlap can be mistaken for progress. He’s a warning
14
for people who are stuck within the same vision while trying to
15
grow it. You agonize so much about what’s next that you don’t
16
act enough or take the right action to execute and operationalize
17
the vision you’re on. That’s drive without direction.
18 19
2. Understand Timing Is Everything
20
My dad’s first business—a self-serve auto shop—sounded great
21
(even cool), but in the end, there was no market for it. Many
22
people get stuck in vision because they forget to research if a
23
market is there and to establish checkpoints to know if what
24
they’re doing is working. In my dad’s auto shop case, it wasn’t
25
working. If no one is buying what you’re selling, even if you’re
26
doing everything right, then there just isn’t a market—yet or at
27
all. Yes, your vision could be ahead of its time, but that does not
28
mean you can will a market into existence and then execute.
29
The first company I worked for tried to sell cloud storage
30
more than a decade before the infrastructure and demand could
1260128520_perell_final.indb 60
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The Loneliest Trait
61
support its cost—and we burned through all our money trying to
1
execute that vision. Like so many too-early visions, we ran out of
2
money before our time.
3 4
3. Know Ideas Are a Dime a Dozen
5
This book is not about quitting your job because you have a great
6
idea. Everyone has a great idea. I always say ideas are a dime a
7
dozen. It’s all about executing your idea. So many people fail to
8
see that about their visions. To them, their visions are so crystal
9
clear and real, they think everyone knows what it will take to ex-
10
ecute them.
11
See why this is lofty? The visions are so alive in their heads—
12
so tangible to them—that they proclaim it will take no time to
13
execute them. As a result, they lack the patience to explain their
14
vision to anyone more than once, let alone with any depth. “The
15
steps are so obvious and easy! We just need to build a platform
16
for people to do X and then Y, and then Z will happen!” No, they
17
won’t. You need to understand and be crystal clear about the
18
value around what comes next.
19 20
4. Make Sure Your Vision Is a Business
21
People who lead with vision can get so caught up in their ideas
22
that they not only fail to see the work it will take to execute them
23
but they also fail to develop the commercial business sense to
24
take their ideas to the next level. They may learn how to pro-
25
duce what they’re selling, but have no idea how to make money
26
on it. Hint: If you are losing money on every sale, you are not go-
27
ing to make money simply by selling more—no matter how well
28
you execute. You might make millions, but you will burn through
29
much more.
30
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62 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
For aspiring entrepreneurs, I recommend not quitting your
2
day job immediately to chase your vision. It’s necessary to get
3
some experience working on your venture while having the
4
safety net of a job. Start preparing. Create some savings. Lower
5
your expenses, and work on getting your contingency plan in
6
place. Proactively and purposefully dedicate your off-work hours
7
to your new venture to determine the viability of your new busi-
8
ness. Get affirmation. You shouldn’t leave your day job until you
9
know you can meet your key monetary needs. (Note that this
10
can be a savings plan—perhaps you have six months of living ex-
11
penses you can use to fund your new venture.)
12
Think about all those people on the TV show Shark Tank
13
who think that they just need an investment from the sharks to
14
keep doing what they are doing with a losing operation—and
15
they want to keep control. Even if the sharks believe in what is
16
being pitched, they know the person in the tank is the wrong one
17
to invest in. They will never execute on the highest levels if they
18
refuse to listen and develop some business acumen.
19 20
5. Accept That Feedback Is a Gift
21
It’s important to ask for constructive feedback to identify the
22
blind spots and potential roadblocks that may get in your way—
23
especially from people who don’t think or act the way you do.
24
Because if everyone sees or acts the same way as you do with
25
your vision, you’ll just be stuck together in the same car. You’ll sit
26
around and talk forever forming the idea instead of figuring out
27
what is needed to get the idea to market.
28
There are many reasons new products, services, and technol-
29
ogies fail even when market research says they should allegedly
30
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The Loneliest Trait
63
succeed. They run out of money. They don’t work as promised
1
or at all. There is no ability to scale them. The company invests
2
in the wrong sales and marketing—or not enough. The message
3
does not resonate with consumers, or it fails to connect with dif-
4
ferent consumers. But for me, failure usually comes down to one
5
factor: the inability to listen to and accept feedback. In short, if
6
you don’t listen to the market and other people, you won’t mas-
7
ter execution at the highest levels—period.
8
Vision can be a lonely, solitary space. You need people to
9
challenge you, help you see what you can’t see, bounce ideas off
10
of, do what you can’t, and be there when you can’t—or don’t
11
want to—talk to anyone. People who lead with vision often have
12
the capacity to bring others along with them. Just think about
13
the biggest names in technology from the last generation: Gates,
14
Jobs, Zuckerberg. They all loved to create, but to sell and grow
15
their visions, they needed partners. They still did things their own
16
way, but they were never alone.
17
Neither am I. My visions are driven by relationships. My
18
leadership style is about collaboration and empowerment. Ev-
19
eryone around me has something to contribute to my visions. I
20
want them to share my passion for them as much as I do—which
21
is why mastering passion is the next step for mastering execution.
22 23
VISION CHECK
24
Questions for Self-Reflection
25 26 27
Have you ever had a vision that failed to come to fruition? If so, why did it happen? Did you get lost in thinking? Miss or
28
miscalculate the market? Think it was easier than it was to execute?
29 30
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64 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Lack commercial sense? Fail to connect with others? Or was it some-
2
thing else?
3 4 5 6
How would what you have learned about vision in this chapter have helped you? What would you have done differently? How will you use what you learned in this chapter? What will you do differently?
7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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Vision—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
65
1 2
Vision—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
3 4 5
V I S I O N: RE FLE C T I O NS A N D M OV I N G F O R WA R D ●●
6
Visions are North Stars—the things everything else in execu-
7
tion and in life revolve around. They are where you are going. ●●
8
Your vision will determine not only what you do in your life
9
but also what you do with your life. You cannot allow your life
10
to pass by default. ●●
11
Having a crystal-clear vision you can see and feel propels
12
your actions. ●●
13
By taking charge of your North Star, being very clear about
14
what you want, taking the necessary steps to execute it,
15
and staying on track, you are setting yourself up for a life of
16
greater success and fulfillment. ●●
17
You must always make sure that your vision is what you want.
18
You must feel it, and it must be meaningful to you and con-
19
gruent with who you are—not just what others think you
20
should want. ●●
21
Bring your vision to life by visualizing what it would look like
22
when you execute it at the highest level. Even if your vision is
23
small, think big! (Just be careful that it’s based somewhere in
24
reality, not in wishful thinking.) ●●
25
Don’t just think it. Ink it! Writing your vision and checkpoints
26
or goals down makes you far more likely to succeed. Then,
27
make sure you prioritize and reprioritize your actions to serve
28
your vision.
29 30
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66 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25
●●
Remember: Vision can be a solitary and lonely space. Don’t get lost in thinking.
●●
Make sure there is a market for what you envision, that your vision is not distracting you from the work needed to execute it, that you develop some commercial sense, and that you listen and connect with others who can give you feedback.
BE FO RE YO U G O: WHAT ’S T H E S C EN A R I O? This scenario is designed to help you think about everything you have learned in this section of the book. Please take a few minutes to complete this exercise the best you can. I promise it will be worth it. If you get stuck or you are not sure about your answer, go back and review the section. Remember, there is no right or wrong answer here. This is just a way to apply your new knowledge about vision. Often it is easier to give advice to someone else, when you’re not wrapped up in your own world, full of all its complexities. Picture this: Your colleague Brian confides in you that he wants to leave his job and go out on his own. You’re worried for Brian because he has a family, no business plan, and little savings. At this point, all he has is an idea. How would you use the concepts you’ve learned about vision to help him?
26 27 28 29 30
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1 2
T R A I T
3
2
4 5
PASSION
6
What You’re Willing to Sacrifice and Suffer For
9
7 8 10
One person with passion is better
11
than forty people merely interested.
12
—E. M. FORSTER
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
6
2 3 4 5
What We Do for Love
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
W
13 hen I was 11, I fell in love with horseback riding. This was
14
no childhood crush. I loved it. I had always loved horses
15
and dreamed of riding. Before I was allowed to ride, my par-
16
ents had given me a wood stump in the backyard to “act” as my
17
horse. I cared for and fed that horse stump daily and “rode” it
18
until they finally caved in and let me try riding. It was even better
19
than I had imagined.
20
Every night after my first real rides, I would lie in my bed and
21
close my eyes and envision myself in full equestrian gear astride a
22
beautiful mare, the exhilarating soundlessness as we jumped, the
23
excitement and power of the landing, the thrill of the cheers as
24
we completed the course. But horseback riding lessons were ex-
25
pensive, and I had two siblings competing for their own activity
26
funds. My parents said we could only afford two lessons a month
27
at most, or it wouldn’t be fair to my brother and sister.
28
Why does everything need to be fair? Why can’t I be the kid that
29
just gets to ride the horse? Can’t they see how much I love this?
30
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70 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Two lessons a month isn’t going to cut it. If I wanted the skills to
2
win competitions, I needed more lessons.
3
I thought about begging, but I knew that wasn’t going to work
4
with two entrepreneur parents who expected us to earn every-
5
thing we wanted. I asked my mom for help in coming up with a
6
plan. She suggested talking to the owner to see if there was any-
7
thing I could do to get more lessons.
8
I did and there was: I could clean the stables.
9
The deal was each day before I rode and any other time I
10
could, I would clean out the horses’ stalls. Seven hours of clean-
11
ing equaled one hour of lessons. I thought that was fair. Besides,
12
what did I know about negotiation? Not that I would have been
13
much of negotiator: I would have made the deal for double the
14
hours because in my heart, this was what I wanted and needed to
15
achieve my vision. I hated the work, but the lesson was clear, and
16
I never forgot it:
17 18
If you have passion for something,
19
you go out and make it happen—even if it
20
involves a lot of horse manure.
21 22 23
I’ve been told that I make what I do look easy, but people
24
don’t see the thousands of nights and weekends I spend working.
25
I don’t talk about the conference calls I show up for when I am
26
sick or the sleepless nights. I don’t complain when I have to miss
27
birthday parties or dinner dates or I have to change all my plans
28
to fly halfway across the world. And my employees never knew
29
I was worried about making payroll more than a dozen times. It
30
was my passion that pushed me through these times.
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What We Do for Love
71
Leading with Your Heart
1 2
Passion is about loving something so much you’re willing to suf-
3
fer for it. Passion doesn’t make sleepless nights, stressful times,
4
and hard work magically disappear, but it does make them bear-
5
able. It’s what makes you go all in and keeps you there—no ex-
6
cuses. It’s a fuel that pushes you to continue long after others
7
have given up.
8 9
Those who lead with passion lead with their hearts. This passion is irresistible to others. I’m sure you can think of a time
10
when you were persuaded by another person’s enthusiasm to do
11
or believe in something. This energy and enthusiasm is infectious,
12
magnetic, and powerful. It drives engagement, innovation, resil-
13
ience, and performance in others and yourself—and encourages
14
those around you to pursue and act with passion as well.
15
This is why passion is the second trait you need to master for
16
great execution. Action without passion is boring. It’s mundane,
17
everyday. It’s changing a light bulb or doing laundry or wash-
18
ing dishes—necessary tasks we perform every day without even
19
thinking or because we have to (even if we don’t want to). These
20
actions are largely humdrum and dispassionate, and they don’t
21
involve suffering or sacrifice.
22 23
That’s the exact opposite of what you need to execute your
24
vision.
25 26
What Passion Really Is
27 28
Remember: The word passion comes from the Latin root for suf-
29
fering or enduring—a meaning somewhat disconnected from its
30
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72 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
modern application. To me, passion is closer to the word’s origi-
2
nal meaning: a form of pain that demands it be remedied. That’s
3
why I say passion is not just about doing the things you love or
4
enjoy but also about doing the things that you would happily suf-
5
fer for. You can’t be 100 percent passionate 100 percent of the
6
time. Some days my passion is more powerful than others. We’re
7
human, right? I strive to be at least 80 percent passionate 100
8
percent of the time. It may seem strange to put a number on it,
9
but doing so sets a baseline for how I want to live my life.
10
“Just do the things you love” sounds like nice advice, but just
11
doing the things you love is called a vacation. If you are suffering
12
on vacation, you are doing something wrong, going to the wrong
13
place, or bringing the wrong people. I may love sitting on the
14
beach and drinking margaritas, but that doesn’t mean I should be
15
looking to turn it into a full-time career. I also love popcorn, fast
16
cars, elephants, chardonnay, and 1980s music. Take those to a ca-
17
reer counselor and see what you get!
18
Truth is, “love” is only one side of the passion coin. This book
19
isn’t another call to “follow your passions.” This is a call to master
20
your passion, and that mastery will require not only love but pain
21
and sacrifice.
22
There’s a big difference between those activities that you en-
23
joy doing and those you would keep doing even when they be-
24
came “painful,” depleted your energy, and took up all your time.
25
Just because you can sew doesn’t mean you can succeed as a de-
26
signer. Sure, you might love fashion and watch every episode of
27
Project Runway. You might dream of designing clothes and even
28
be inspired to knit or sew. But being a designer involves a whole
29
set of skills and actions that go beyond an interest in clothes and
30
producing a few garments. Being successful at it—like anything
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What We Do for Love
73
else—requires you to sacrifice and suffer for things that have
1
nothing to do with fabric.
2
Loving what you do is one thing, but executing your vision to
3
build a business and/or make a profit from it is another. You need
4
to create a strategy and then refine it as you go. Suffer through
5
the finances. Identify opportunities and market needs to find cus-
6
tomers for what you are making (and deal with those customers).
7
Market and advertise to help generate demand. Establish a social
8
media presence. Deal with the setbacks and naysayers. And ac-
9
cept the inevitable rejection and criticism.
10
When I moved to Hawaii to build my business, more people
11
told me I was crazy than wished me luck. “There are no jobs there,
12
Kim! The digital market is weak! Stay in LA and find something
13
stable!” I went anyway. While other people were off on vacation
14
or going to parties, I was making one more product adjustment
15
and perfecting the hundredth—yes, hundredth—version of my
16
sales pitch.
17
When I went to Tahiti on my honeymoon in 2003, I wan-
18
dered around Bora Bora looking for anywhere that had a com-
19
puter with basic dial-up. I walked from my beautiful bungalow
20
to a stuffy closet in the hotel office where I waited restlessly for
21
an AOL connection to go through. I remember being on a sa-
22
fari in Africa watching a herd of elephants cross Kruger National
23
Park . . . while I was on my phone to the office because that was
24
the only place I had cell service.
25
“They want what to make the deal work? . . . Ooh, look at
26
the elephants—they’re amazing! . . . OK, tell them we need . . .”
27
Did I want to do any of that? Of course not! But my vision
28
was my North Star, and my passion fueled my drive to achieve
29
it—my passion to build the life that I wanted. I knew in my gut
30
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74 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
that everything I was doing felt right and that the pain I was en-
2
during was part of what I needed to do to succeed. Passion justi-
3
fied any extreme work ethics that inevitably prioritized business
4
over all other aspects of my life—often with really lousy timing,
5
because I love spending time with people, on the beach, traveling
6
the world, and exploring new cultures. Without that passion, I
7
wouldn’t have the stamina.
8
Many people just don’t understand this. They don’t see the
9
sacrifice and suffering it takes to be successful. But that’s what
10
gives your success meaning! Thus, the starting point for finding
11
your passion is not just in the things you love but in the things
12
you would gladly suffer for.
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
Passion Pulse Check Before you go any further, take a step back and ask yourself one question: “Am I willing to suffer for this [idea, product, business, person, company]?” If you answered no, take a step back before reading any further.
21 22 23 24
Figuring out what you’re willing to suffer for
25
is hard. What will you give to get?
26 27 28
Passion isn’t just fuel. It’s the emotional fuel you need to ex-
29
ecute at the highest level to achieve your vision and goals. For-
30
get anything you have been told about suppressing emotions and
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What We Do for Love
75
being unemotional in your work. It’s not realistic. It’s a lie that
1
eventually traps you. Why would you want to be unemotional
2
about what you spend most of every day doing? You need to feel
3
what you are doing and then learn how to make others feel it too.
4
Execution is all about mastering your passion and creat-
5
ing that emotional connection to your goals and vision. It fuels
6
learning, memory, and focus. It provides everything you need to
7
persevere, endure, act, connect with and attract others to your
8
vision. Without this emotional connection, you’re just a mo-
9
ment away from being bored and distracted and, ultimately, from
10
failing.
11
What does it mean to be emotionally connected to some-
12
thing? What do you feel? How do you act? That’s the next step in
13
understanding passion and how it helps drive execution.
14 15 16
PASSION CHECK
17
Questions for Self-Reflection
18 19
Driving forward with passion is a huge part of your success in execu-
20
tion. Answer these questions before you move to the next chapter to
21
better understand the depth of your passion:
22 23
• Does your vision reflect what you are most passionate about?
24
If you answered no, answer the following questions before answering
25
the final question below:
26
• What are you truly passionate about? A subject (fashion, food,
27
animals)? A skill (creating, writing)? A role (leader, teacher,
28
caretaker)? Something else?
29 30
• Which of these do you feel most emotionally connected to?
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76 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
• Which of these are you most willing to “suffer” for? What would
2
you want to keep doing even if you had to give something up or
3
didn’t get paid or acknowledged?
4 5 6 7
If you answered yes to the first question or if you have now identified what you’re passionate about, answer this question: How will you remind yourself of that passion during the long hours?
8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 76
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1
7
2 3 4 5
Emotional Rescue
6 7 8 9 10
W
11 hen I got fired from my first dot-com, I was devastated.
12
I loved the company, loved the people, and loved what I
13
was doing. I was upset not just because of the fear of having no
14
income but because I had lost a job I felt emotionally connected
15
to. I was embarrassed.
16
I remember calling my dad, and his response was, “I told
17
you this was going to happen. They were spending beyond their
18
means and income. It was inevitable, Kimmy.”
19
Even though this was the truth, my dad’s words were not
20
what I needed to hear. I already felt terrible, and was calling him
21
to console me. He was cold and callous.
22
How many times have you been that person? The person
23
who asks for sympathy and gets none? I’d like to think I’ve never
24
missed the opportunity to try to make people feel better, but I
25
know I have. Instead, I’ve given in to my knee-jerk reaction and
26
said, “I told you so!” But that’s the last thing anyone would want
27
in my dot-com situation. We’d want kindness. Without that kind-
28
ness, the other person risks twisting the knife. The only reason I
29
was so upset is because I cared about what I was doing—I had an
30
77
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78 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
emotional connection to it. Yet so often, like my dad, the other
2
person we need to be kind fails to understand this.
3
“What do you want me to say?” the other person pleads.
4
Nothing. We want you to say nothing. At that moment, we
5
just want a hug from Dad, a partner, a friend. We want to know
6
everything is OK. We want to know you care:
7 8
●●
9
comes to dealing with the inevitable mistakes, failures,
10 11
How many times have we been “that person” when it and problems when executing our visions?
●●
How many times have we been “that person” and told
12
someone or told ourselves the best thing to do in that mo-
13
ment is say, “Get yourself together now, and look at what
14
you’ve done wrong.”
15
●●
How many times have we been “that person” and told
16
ourselves or had someone tell us, “Calm down! Don’t
17
get so upset! Stop being so emotional. Here’s why you
18
screwed up.”
19 20
Yes, it’s smart to calm down before you explain a mistake to
21
your boss or team. Your explanation will be more sincerely re-
22
ceived when you’ve taken the time to relax and be thoughtful and
23
reflective on what went wrong. What’s important to remember is
24
not to suppress what feels true to you. Don’t deny your emotions
25
a chance to teach you a lesson. Don’t run away from feelings or
26
rationalize emotions away. Doing those things is to deny the pas-
27
sion that will fuel the next attempt and the next. Let those emo-
28
tions out— give them your ear and a figurative or, if appropriate,
29
a literal hug!
30
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Emotional Rescue
79
Why Emotions Are Critical to Passion
1 2
Emotions are what drive our passion, and those feelings are criti-
3
cal to leading a full life. This is why action without passion leaves
4
us empty—we may get stuff done, but the results will only sat-
5
isfy us temporarily. Emotions force us to feel actions we stand
6
behind.
7
Your passion for something is what inspires, engages, and
8
connects you to the people around you. There are two sides to
9
this coin, however. On the one side, people who are not engaged
10
by your passion may not be the right people to surround yourself
11
with because you don’t share the same vision in order to execute
12
together. On the other, if you are not demonstrating that passion,
13
then they have no reason to feel a connection to you and your vi-
14
sion and execute for you.
15
Beware of dismissing all this as “soft stuff.” This is about be-
16
ing authentic and true to your vision. Your passion must have
17
meaning, or the consequences can be dire. Consider this: We can
18
easily ignore or not even see objects that have no meaning for
19
us. In one study, commercial pilots landed their planes on top of
20
another in a flight simulation because they didn’t see the other
21
plane—a scenario they would be highly unlikely to encounter in
22
real life. This is called “inattentional blindness.”
1
23
When it comes to execution, it’s not just about visualizing
24
your vision but feeling a deep connection to the visions we are
25
executing. Emotions move us. They impact our behavior and
26
thoughts. If we are angry, we fight and yell. If we are sad, we cry.
27
If we are happy, we laugh and dance. The joy I had when I was
28
11 years old being around horses made me indifferent to the fact
29 30
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80 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
that I was cleaning stables. Similarly, the passion I have for what
2
I’m doing and the people I am working with today move me to be
3
willing to work late and travel often. I never forget that my head
4
(reason and logic) and heart (emotion and passion) must coexist.
5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Passion Pulse Check Think about one thing in your past you have been passionate about or emotionally connected to. How successful were you at this endeavor? Why do you think that was? Now, think about something in your past you have done from a place of logic or reason rather than an emotional connection. How successful were you at this endeavor? Why do you think that was?
16 17 18
Emotions may be unpredictable and uncontrollable, but un-
19
derstanding and mastering those emotions so they drive you but
20
don’t push you over the edge is key to mastering passion and suc-
21
cessful execution. I know we all like to think we’re rational and
22
logical, but the fact is that emotions drive us, and sometimes they
23
veer in different directions. Ideally, we use logic to devise our strat-
24
egies, but we need emotion to fuel our passion to carry them out.
25
Yes, this runs contrary to what many books say, that it is bet-
26
ter to elevate reason and logic and discount feelings. Reason is
27
powerful, but emotions are what matter most. If you’re going
28
to suffer for what you love, you need to feel it—the highs and
29
lows—not repress it.
30
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Emotional Rescue
81
Why Passion Is Critical to Success
1 2
When my mother-in-law was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheim-
3
er’s at 65, I was determined to find a way to help her. I knew I
4
couldn’t cure the disease, but I was committed to finding a way
5
she could live her best and most comfortable life. I researched
6
day and night. Eastern medicine, Western medicine, brain games,
7
studies, diets. I even tried a noninvasive medical device that stim-
8
ulates the brain, but when I tried it on myself first, it overstimu-
9
lated my brain and I shut down for two days. I couldn’t leave my
10
bed, focus, or concentrate.
11
My fierce love for my mother-in-law awakened a passion in
12
me to learn more about brain health to try to help her in any
13
way I could. I asked a doctor friend whose husband had a brain
14
tumor what they would recommend. She said the two of them,
15
both Stanford MDs, had been taking a variety of supplements to
16
help increase their mental clarity and memory, and I asked if they
17
could make me a sample. They agreed. Grateful and more deter-
18
mined than ever, I enlisted a partner I knew could help. After a
19
year of tireless work and research with the doctors, we created
20
supplements to increase brain activity. My emotional connec-
21
tion and desire to help my mother-in-law was critical in their
22
creation.
23
While most visions will not be driven by serious disease, they
24
are driven by some kind of call to action, and they benefit from
25
a continued high level of emotional connection to your vision,
26
goals, and actions. That connection drives almost everything:
27
positivity, self-belief, learning, focus, memory, satisfaction, and
28
above all, motivation. This has several important implications
29 30
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highlighting the benefits of passion that are dismissed when it
2
comes to business, leadership, and execution:
3 4
●●
Passion drives self-belief.
5
●●
Passion stimulates motivation.
6
●●
Passion influences learning.
7
●●
Passion maintains levels of energy and enthusiasm.
8
●●
Passion inspires others.
9 10
Passion Drives Self-Belief
11
To be successful, your confidence must be greater than everyone
12
else’s doubt. People who have passion are emotionally connected
13
and thus really believe that they will be successful. This belief
14
permeates their entire being and inspires confidence in them-
15
selves and others.
16
Imagine a coach talking to the team just before they leave the
17
locker room. At that moment, will the coach go over all the tacti-
18
cal details, or will he or she passionately deliver a rousing speech
19
designed to fire up the team and their self-belief? No one executes
20
on a vision saying, “I think I can lose” or “Everyone thinks I can’t
21
do it, so I shouldn’t even try.”
22 23
Passion Stimulates Motivation
24
It’s a biological fact that more emotion—more passion—equals
25
more motivation. Our fight-or-flight reflex is the perfect example
26
of this. But it happens in less dangerous or high-stakes situations
27
every day too. Our brains are wired in such a way that higher lev-
28
els of emotion literally stimulate the motivational areas of the
29
brain. If we’re really excited about something—a trip, a pitch,
30
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an idea—we’re likely to have many more positive thoughts and
1
want to act. Similarly, if we feel that high level of passion from
2
someone else, we are motivated to follow.
3
The best example of this is seeing people in front of you taste
4
something delicious. You can see in their eyes how much they
5
love it. It’s a visceral reaction, and that emotional response and
6
our instinctive empathic connection to it makes us want to act to
7
have the same dish or steal some of theirs!
8 9
Passion Influences Learning
10
Think of your favorite teachers in school. I bet they were the ones
11
who were the most passionate about the subjects they taught.
12
The teacher who made biology fun. The English professor who
13
brought a story to life. The math teacher who took the extra time
14
to apply problems to real life in a way you understood.
15
That was certainly true for me. Growing up, I loved my mar-
16
keting and math classes and the teachers who taught them. Look-
17
ing back, if I had teachers with the same enthusiasm in science and
18
English, I wonder if I would have excelled equally and perhaps
19
taken a different career path.
20 21
Passion Maintains Levels of Energy and Enthusiasm
22
Most people typically underestimate what is required for tasks
23
and the time it will take to complete them. That work can also
24
be quite repetitive—even boring. Without emotion and passion
25
to carry you through the setbacks, you will feel blocked from
26
your path.
27
That’s when passion keeps you going—not just when you face
28
obstacles (as we will see when we get to resilience) or sleepless
29 30
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84 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
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nights. It’s when you are faced with the most ordinary tasks and
2
need to remember why you are there, or when you are in another
3
uninspiring meeting and need to lift the room around you.
4
Which brings me to my final point.
5 6
Passion Inspires Others
7
Passion is contagious. We are programmed to sense and even
8
copy levels of energy, so your passion can inspire and influence
9
others as well as discourage detractors. It will influence how they
10
see you as well as how they see themselves. Because your passion
11
isn’t only about you. It isn’t, “I’m excited!” It’s, “I’m excited, and
12
here is my vision and how you can play a part in it!”
13
You need to be vulnerable enough to open yourself up to oth-
14
ers so they can fully appreciate your passion and vision. That will
15
be key when we get to the relationships. Because when you are
16
truly passionate about something, it reveals an authenticity about
17
how you show up in the world. As I said in the opening of this
18
book, authenticity is key to executing on your vision—especially
19
when it comes to passion.
20 21
You can fake knowledge. You can fake skills. But can you fake passion? No. How can you fake something that
22 23
●●
Drives your belief in a successful outcome.
24
●●
Accelerates memory and learning.
25
●●
Stimulates motivation.
26
●●
Maintains levels of energy and enthusiasm.
27
●●
Energizes and inspires others.
28
I used to think I needed to change my “frequency” to be like
29
others. I’d dial myself and my frequency down to theirs. The re-
30
sult? I’d end up spending time with people who had nothing
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in common with me or the vision of the life I wanted to live. I
1
quickly felt like I didn’t belong, draining me of my energy and
2
passion. Pretending to be someone I wasn’t was exhausting. It
3
was a character I never wanted to play. Over the years, I learned
4
to embrace my truth and everything I’ve been called: rebellious,
5
a bad influence, a nonconformist. If someone told me I couldn’t
6
do something, I would do it anyway. I place more importance on
7
what I expect of myself than on what others expect of me. I’m
8
more values driven than rules driven. My life will never be tradi-
9
tional, and I’m okay with that.
10
People trying to sell you “fake” passion will always expose
11
themselves eventually. The façade will crumble, and you will
12
know their hearts aren’t in it. It’s like that law in physics: every
13
action has an equal and opposite reaction. Once you don’t be-
14
lieve that they will suffer and sacrifice for their visions, you won’t
15
believe that they will suffer and sacrifice for you.
16
Think about a colleague, leader, or mentor who you felt was
17
driven by passion. What impact did that have on you? Do you have
18
that same impact on others? That emotional engagement is key!
19 20 21
Be fearless to act so people believe
22
your passion is leading to something,
23
and you execute together.
24 25
Don’t be in neutral when it comes to passion, or you’ll just
26
be mismanaging your expectations. I’m passionate about people
27
and helping others, letting people pursue their passions for new
28
directions and opportunities, and people helping me see what I
29
don’t know.
30
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Passion Pulse Check Ask yourself right now: “On a scale from 1 to 10, how deeply do I feel an emotional connection to what I am doing?” If it is anything lower than an 8, how and why do you expect to execute at the highest level? How do you expect those around you to feel it and do the same?
9 10 11
A Word of Warning: Not All Passion Looks the Same
12 13 14 15
Executing with passion or even being emotional about something
16
doesn’t mean you have to jump up and down with excitement and
17
energy. Just because people aren’t yelling doesn’t mean they aren’t
18
angry. Just because people aren’t crying doesn’t mean they aren’t sad.
19
You don’t need extremes to feel a connection to what you are do-
20
ing, which means you don’t have to be extroverted and outgoing
21
to execute and lead with passion. In fact, some of the most suc-
22
cessful people were or are notoriously introverted like Bill Gates,
23
Steven Spielberg, and Eleanor Roosevelt.
24
People manifest their emotions differently. The key is that
25
you feel emotionally and congruently connected—which will
26
come across in everything you do. Passion is about how you feel
27
and what others feel from you, and you don’t need to bounce off
28
the walls to do that.
29
That said, just because people are bouncing off the walls
30
doesn’t mean they are not in control of their passions. Exhibiting
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emotionality does not make someone irrational. If it did, I would
1
have been institutionalized rather than appointed as the CEO ev-
2
ery time I sold my company. I tend to be a high-energy person
3
most of the time, but I don’t need to temper my passion to be
4
thoughtful or open to logical considerations and viable alterna-
5
tives. That I tend to get very excited about things I am passionate
6
about, which I express through my words as well as my body lan-
7
guage, does not mean I am out of control.
8
I realize, however, that there is always a risk that people will
9
interpret my bubbly exterior as a lack of depth and intelligence.
10
The expression of passion is relative. If I am enthusiastic about
11
everything, it can undermine my authenticity with people I want
12
to help execute my vision. People always have an emotional re-
13
sponse to how you act, and you must be aware of how you’re
14
being perceived. That self-awareness is a strength.
15
As I said before, I have my own “frequency,” but I must ap-
16
preciate others’ frequencies and accept their perception of mine.
17
Over time I have learned to keep my frequency, maybe modulat-
18
ing it when necessary out of decorum but never changing it com-
19
pletely. I won’t water down my passion around people who don’t
20
act the same way I do or who I think cannot appreciate or under-
21
stand it. I need them to see the real me and know that what they
22
see is what they get.
23
Besides, they may be looking for that very difference in some-
24
one to work with—something that complements their passion,
25
not mimics it. I know I am. I don’t want someone in my life—at
26
work or at home—who is like me. I want people who do what
27
I can’t and make me appreciate things I normally wouldn’t see
28
or do myself. I understand who I am. I have succeeded by stay-
29
ing true to my North Star and my passion for it, not aiming at
30
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1
what others wanted that North Star to be. Why would I then ex-
2
pect someone else to change for me? I’d rather stand by myself
3
and appreciate differences in others by encouraging them to do
4
the same so that we can execute and succeed together as a team.
5
To understand this further, try this exercise:
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
●●
For one day, within all your interactions, look for passion in others. What do you notice? When are you aware of the passion others have? How does it make you feel? What do you notice about their passion? How could you better appreciate that passion and allow it to thrive alongside yours?
13
I love being around people who believe in me, who feel a
14
connection and are excited and energetic. The energy is conta-
15
gious. That’s what passion feeds on: energy.
16 17
PASSION CHECK
18
Questions for Self-Reflection
19 20
Have you ever been told, “Don’t let your emotions get the better of
21
you?” Have you regretted ignoring a passion because you rationalized
22
it away as frivolous?
23 24
How do you show when you are emotionally connected to something? How does it change your behavior?
25
How have people responded to you when you are passionate?
26
How do you respond to passion? Do you have a bias toward
27
people who act emotionally?
28
These are essential questions to reflect on to understand how
29
emotion fuels passion and thus successful execution because you are
30
willing to do whatever it takes.
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1
8
2 3 4 5
Fueling Your Fire
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
T
Driven by Passion, CEO Sells $235 Million Company
13
from Middle of the Ocean.
14 15
hat would be the headline if I were writing my own story
16
about the sale of my company in 2014. Sounds like a good
17
story, right? It was. But like all good stories, it involved more
18
time than I anticipated and a lot of sacrifice, especially for my
19
husband.
20
The year before the sale. My husband and I were traveling
21
to Bali for our 10-year anniversary when I made an unscheduled
22
stopover in Singapore to meet the head of a potential acquiring
23
company for a drink. Did my husband want to stop in Singapore
24
for our 10-year anniversary? Probably not. But he saw the look
25
on my face. He felt my passion as I explained why. He knew this
26
had to be something big—not just in my mind but in my heart.
27
Those drinks turned to dinner with our spouses followed
28
by brunch the next morning with their kids. We really hit it off,
29
and I knew we would be a great fit. They were entrepreneurial
30
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90 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
and innovative, and based on our short time together, I just knew
2
they would be the perfect home for my company.
3
Once I got back from Singapore, I wrote down my vision to
4
sell my company on a note I stuck to my bathroom mirror. I
5
wanted that vision staring at me every morning and night, re-
6
inforcing my passion and strengthening my resolve to weather
7
what I needed to do to close the deal.
8
Six months later, we still hadn’t closed the deal. My husband
9
and I were now on a scheduled sailing trip, and I found myself
10
trying to get a call to go through on a satellite phone to keep the
11
deal moving.
12 13
Much to my husband’s disappointment, the satellite phone worked. I could hear him calling me in the background.
14
“Are you still talking business?”
15
Yes, yes, I was. It could have been seasickness or deal fatigue,
16
but I was getting dispirited. My vision posted on my bathroom
17
mirror was 3,000 miles away. I had even started to doubt myself,
18
but my passion pushed the doubt aside.
19
That’s what passion does. It pushes you through those mo-
20
ments when you need to make unpopular decisions or hard
21
choices. While it’s not always easy, there are benefits of being ob-
22
sessively passionate about your business. The hard part is, what
23
happens after years and years of being passionate and making
24
those sacrifices, when even the new seems a little old and you’re
25
tired of missing another family dinner?
26
Clearly, passion is essential for success, so it is critical that
27
you nurture it and stay connected to fuel your fire. I have talked
28
about how articulating your vision and keeping it in mind are es-
29
sential, just as I did with that note on my mirror to sell my com-
30
pany. The same is true for your passion.
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91
There are two important ways to do this:
1
●●
Fostering your passion
2
●●
Prioritizing your passion
3 4 5
Fostering Your Passion
6 7
In interviews, people often ask me, “What is your hobby?” They
8
might be looking for me to say tennis, art, or hiking. I tell them
9
the truth: my hobby is my passion for helping others achieve
10
their dreams, and I foster it by helping people execute to be suc-
11
cessful. It’s why I built my company and hired back many of the
12
people I had to lay off in my first job when the tech bubble burst.
13
It’s why I became an active angel investor and always take calls
14
from entrepreneurs looking for advice.
15
When I tell people my hobby, they always say something like,
16
“Jeez, you never take a break from work.” While it’s hard to do in
17
some ways, none of it feels like work for me. This is my passion—
18
and it’s the very thing that fuels me and energizes me. Fostering
19
my passion by spending time helping people gives me energy to
20
operate in every other facet of my life with passion, and creates a
21
healthy work-life integration. Not work-life separation.
22 23
What are you doing regularly that
24
fuels your passion?
25 26
Are you doing things on a day-to-day basis that fuel your
27
passions? Maybe you’re like me and work is your passion—or at
28
least one of them. What could you do to foster your passion in
29
order to execute?
30
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1
●●
2 3
writing a blog. ●●
4 5
Maybe you’re passionate about fashion and could start Maybe you’re passionate about kids and education and could volunteer at a school in your area.
●●
Maybe your passion is yoga, and instead of just doing
6
yoga, you could find a class and get certified so you could
7
teach it.
8
●●
Maybe you’re passionate, the way I am, about business
9
and people, and you could join a local or national en-
10
trepreneurs’ organization or start one with a group of
11
friends.
12 13
●●
Maybe you’re looking to advance in your company and could ask your boss about taking a leadership course.
14 15 16
Passion Pulse Check
17
Choose a passion that you have, and bring this passion to
18
life for a day. How does that make you feel? What impact
19
does this have on your energy and motivation?
20 21 22
The point is to do something, whatever it is, for you. Don’t
23
worry about whether someone will say no, especially at work.
24
Most leaders understand that employees want to be engaged and
25
passionate and make a difference. Because passionate employees
26
make the best employees. Leaders will be glad you took the ini-
27
tiative—you can’t expect others to foster your passion for you.
28
Remember: Even if you are a business of one, you are your
29
own employee whom you need to take care of. Make yourself and
30
your passion a priority.
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Prioritizing Your Passion
1 2
Phil Molyneux is an Englishman with a French name who moved
3
to the United States in 2010 to work for a Japanese company.
4
That’s when Sony asked him to lead its electronics business in
5
the United States. After three years in Budapest running the com-
6
pany’s business in Central and Southeast Europe, he wanted to
7
make an immediate and genuine impact on the people he was
8
about to lead who knew nothing about him.
9 10
He decided the best way to do that was to meet with them all
11
before he started . . . individually. All 1,200 of them. Before his official start date in the United States, over three
12
full days, Phil stopped at every occupied desk bottom floor to
13
top at the Sony headquarters in San Diego and chatted for a min-
14
ute or so. He did this because he authentically wanted people to
15
know who he was and what he stood for, that he cared about
16
who they were and what they stood for, and that he truly valued
17
open, honest communication.
18
That’s what Phil had a passion for—authenticity, connection,
19
and communication—and he made it his priority in meeting with
20
1,200 people in three days.
21
I talked about prioritizing and reprioritizing your vision to
22
the top of the list. The same is true for your passion. A hundred
23
things are going to come at you each day. But you need to keep
24
pushing your passion and vision back to the top of the list. You
25
need to prioritize both time and energy to foster your passion.
26
This has as much to do with saying yes to your passion as saying
27
no to the things you’re not passionate about. But it also means
28
saying no to things you want to do so you can prioritize your pas-
29
sion. There are trade-offs no matter what.
30
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1
Saying no is never easy, which is why prioritizing passion
2
and quality time for your vision are so difficult to deliver on.
3
There will never be enough time to do everything you want and
4
need to do. Prepare yourself to disappoint people as you decline
5
invitations to attend birthday parties, potlucks, or dinners with
6
friends. This goes for all parts of your life! For me, when I am
7
done with work, my family is my priority. That means skipping
8
out on happy hours with my girlfriends to finish what I need
9
to do in the office so that I am fully present at the dinner table
10
that night with my husband and kids. I will opt for a lunch with
11
a close friend instead of a dinner that goes late, no matter how
12
much fun those can be.
13
But none of this works if I’m not transparent with the people
14
whom this affects. If I need to be somewhere far away to achieve
15
my broader vision of a great life and miss a few family dinners
16
or disrupt a vacation that is crucial to my vision, I will carve out
17
time. My husband knows when those things are a priority. I write
18
down my top priorities each week to keep them fresh in my mind,
19
and put them in a place where we both can see them. Transpar-
20
ency! That’s why my husband understood when the sale of my
21
company disrupted our vacation. He knew what my priorities
22
were because I had shared them with him, and he in turn sup-
23
ported me throughout the process.
24
Do the people around you know when you are prioritizing
25
your passion? They are the ones who will help you mitigate feel-
26
ings of guilt and doubt when you’ve missed the third New Year’s
27
Eve party in a row—and it will ensure the people you’re not see-
28
ing don’t feel you just don’t like them. Don’t let them assume. I
29
make it a point to let the people closest to me always know how
30
important they are to me by being fully present in everything I
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do. For example, my friends and family aren’t offended when I
1
don’t make it to big parties because I prefer intimate, quality time
2
with smaller groups or one-on-ones. I may have skipped out on
3
that late dinner with my friend, but at our next catch-up lunch, I
4
had my phone tucked in my bag the entire time. No distractions
5
except our own laughter and excitement to talk about as much
6
as we could.
7
Being fully present in everything you do is one of the keys to
8
work-life integration. Separating work and home life is often im-
9
possible these days, and if you truly love what you do, it’s not a
10
chore to take a 7 a.m. call on the weekend or devote some of your
11
vacation time to business. Just prioritize correctly so that your
12
quality time always goes toward people and projects you love.
13
The only thing no one has learned to make more of is time.
14
Maintaining a million friendships, a family, and a business is im-
15
possible. Decide which aspects of your life are priorities, and
16
scale back on the rest. Find trustworthy people whom you can
17
hand off tasks to. You need to leave time for essentials—like
18
sleep!
19
I can remember sitting for hours and hours among thousands
20
of data servers in a freezing underground data center in down-
21
town Los Angeles to ensure we would complete our next code
22
release in time. I couldn’t actually help, because I don’t code, but
23
I had to be there nonetheless. The guy doing it was a genius but
24
was often unable to stay focused enough to meet deadlines. As
25
a result, there I was, next to him to ensure that the deadline was
26
met. It was. However, in terms of running my business, I paid a
27
steep price. The opportunity cost of not being able to spend my
28
time on other things as I sat there shivering and essentially use-
29
less to the task was high—and unhealthy. I learned that day I was
30
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96 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
never going to succeed unless I found more personally account-
2
able individuals who are able to continually execute.
3
But heed one more word of warning: you must allow yourself
4
time for celebrating those achievements with those individuals
5
along the way. You may want to skip all the fun, but prioritizing
6
and fostering passion can’t be only about the continuous grind
7
or you’ll burn out. Don’t be that person who has forgotten what
8
fun is!
9 10 11 12
Productive Passion: Celebrate Good Times—Come On!
13 14
Before he became a Hall of Fame speaker helping teams and
15
their leaders become peak performers in business, Walter Bond
16
dreamed of playing in the National Basketball Association (NBA).
17
Odds were slim. But he kept practicing and working hard, pur-
18
suing his passion to achieve his vision. He ended up realizing the
19
first step when the University of Minnesota recruited him and
20
he . . . rode the bench. At the end of his first year, Walter asked
21
his coach, “What do I need to do to be an NBA player?” He said,
22
“Look son, you don’t even play for me!”
23
But Walter’s passion for his vision was undeterred. He was
24
relentless. He attacked the list his coach gave him to better his
25
game. Every year in Minnesota he was voted the Most Improved
26
Player—until his senior year. When he broke his foot. Twice. His
27
prospects of playing in the NBA went from seemingly none to
28
“Walter Who?”
29
Still, Walter’s passion was undeterred. He went back to his
30
coach and said, “What do I need to do to play in the NBA?” The
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97
coach told Walter he should be a motivational speaker. “Coach,
1
I can talk the rest of my life, but I have only one chance to play
2
basketball professionally. Tell me, what do I need to do be an
3
NBA player?” The coach told him to lose 20 pounds and learn
4
to knock down a three-point shot. Over the next two months, he
5
got in great shape, worked on his shot, and transformed himself
6
from an unknown college reserve to an NBA prospect.
7
In November 1992, Walter Bond became the first-ever un-
8
drafted rookie free agent to start for the NBA’s Dallas Maver-
9
icks on opening day. He played in the NBA for several years after
10
that and then in Germany for several more before retiring and
11
becoming the acclaimed motivational speaker his college coach
12
predicted.
13
But while Walter played, something changed in him. He
14
could have kept pushing every moment during the season and
15
straight into the off-season, always asking, “What’s next?” And
16
he did push himself hard. But before he pushed, he learned the
17
power of taking a mental step back. Every night before he ran out
18
on the court, he listened as the announcer said his name to the
19
fans, “At six feet five inches tall weighing 215 pounds, from the
20
University of Minnesota . . . Walter Bond!” He made himself stop
21
and say, “Dude, I’m here. I made it. Kids all over the world would
22
love to have my jersey. Players all over the world would love to
23
have my job. I got here!”
24
I love Walter’s story and the lesson it teaches us:
25
Celebrating the small wins is about more than closing a chap-
26
ter on the past or acknowledging the success of the team. It’s a
27
checkpoint on your vision, and it marks a new beginning for ev-
28
eryone, including you, to fuel your passion, keep winning, and
29
achieve even more.
30
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98 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
In business and life, we spend way too much time obsessing
2
over our failures, deconstructing them—even celebrating them
3
as badges of honor. This distraction is not healthy or productive.
4
Why don’t we celebrate the successes?
5
Answer this question: aside from an actual celebration like a
6
holiday party or a wedding or the end of something big like clos-
7
ing a huge deal, when was the last time you focused on telling
8
yourself that you did a great job? Just a pat on the back followed
9
by nothing negative. No list of the things that you could have
10
done and a to-do list for the week ahead. No next steps for ex-
11
ecuting. Just a “Great job!” Few people I know can remember a
12
time off the top of their heads.
13
That’s because we’re far more likely to do it with our pets than
14
ourselves or other people. But that’s not unusual: Many people
15
have a tough time taking compliments and deflect them with lines
16
like, “Thanks, but I could have done better” or “Great, but there’s
17
more to do!” or “I’m happy you’re pleased, but I can’t stop now.”
18
Is celebrating a small win really a sign of weakness or an ex-
19
cuse for not doing more? Too often people say, “I can’t do that”
20
or “I don’t have time to celebrate,” when they really mean, “I
21
won’t take the time.” That’s cutting yourself off from your pas-
22
sion. You need to start small and build from there:
23 24
●●
25 26
start, not a whole week. ●●
27 28
Love cooking dinner for your family? Pick a night to Want to travel? Skip the weeklong production and get an inexpensive hotel room in the nearest city for a weekend.
●●
Love the movies? Go to a midday matinee of that movie
29
you’ve been dying to see—and go ahead and splurge on a
30
tub of warm popcorn.
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99
Celebrating is a choice, and it’s an important one. You should
1
say no to distractions when prioritizing your passion, but you
2
must also make celebrating a priority. You deserve it. As my
3
grandmother always said, everything in moderation, including
4
moderation.
5
Is every small win worthy of celebration? Yes! It’s just about
6
scaling your celebration to match the performance and rekindling
7
your passion. The most centered professional athletes know to cel-
8
ebrate every win on the field in a public way in front of the fans—
9
home or away. It doesn’t matter if it is a win against the last-place
10
team or a major upset. They celebrate the small wins, not just the
11
championships, before moving on to the next game. That’s about
12
perspective and enjoying what you do—both big parts of what I
13
call productive passion.
14
Without productive passion, you will not only lose sight of
15
your North Star but also lose steam.
16
With passion as my fuel, I have chosen to apply myself in the
17
cut and thrust of business, and I let my achievements speak for
18
themselves. I can’t just keep saying no to the things and people I
19
love—at work and at home—and not expect that fuel to be de-
20
pleted. Whatever you want to do, you want to make a difference.
21
Wherever it is you want to end up, let passion be the fuel for your
22
vision to get you there. Remember: You won’t reach those desti-
23
nations if you are not fully present in life.
24
Most of us have experienced moments when our talents were
25
fully engaged—when we rose to a challenge and were making a
26
difference. The great psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls
27
this a state of “flow”: a mental state of complete absorption in
28
the current experience. Achieving a state of flow means taking
29
the time to remember the joy and purpose behind your vision so
30
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100 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
you don’t end up alone, buried by work, with sanity being a dis-
2
tant memory. U.S. businesses shell out hundreds of millions of
3
dollars each year to achieve employee engagement, and spend
4
billions developing employees’ skill sets. Yet only 13 percent of
5
the workforce attests to having the right type of passion—the
6
kind that drives employees to seek out challenges and develop
7
the skills to push past them.1 That’s unfortunate because pro-
8
ductive passion and its resulting commitment may improve the
9
health of your people and even your own health. A study con-
10
ducted in Denmark found that out of 5,000 Danish workers,
11
those with the highest commitment to their employers slept bet-
12
ter and got sick less.2
13 14 15
Passion Pulse Check
16
The next time you hit a small goal on the way to a big one?
17
Celebrate it with a toast, and own that win. Pat yourself on
18
the back. Smile. Laugh. Go home and play with your kids.
19
Take your significant other out on a date. Buy your team
20
some wine and cheese, and invite them to your place dur-
21
ing a work afternoon.
22
Doing those things will not mean you have taken
23
your eye off the ultimate goal. They simply allow you to re-
24
charge, boost morale, and connect emotionally, and they
25
serve as checkpoints along the way to execution and your
26
ultimate success.
27 28 29
Even if you don’t get sick or burn out, just keeping your nose
30
to the proverbial grindstone can get you stuck—and getting stuck
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Fueling Your Fire
101
in passion is probably the saddest of all. Imagine if you gave up
1
on your passion only because you were exhausted or couldn’t
2
find your way forward. That’s when you need to tell yourself or
3
tell your people to stop. Go home. Take a wellness day.
4
It’s a simple equation: you must be productively passionate
5
to have productively passionate employees. Passionate employees
6
are loyal and happy employees. Loyal and happy employees are
7
what you want your clients and customers—everyone who comes
8
in contact with you and your business—to see. You can’t do that
9
without that flow in all parts of your life.
10 11 12
How much does it take you
13
to never call in sick? How much will it
14
cost you to never call in well?
15 16
And when you get the big wins—the championships!—make
17
sure you throw yourself and everyone around a celebration wor-
18
thy of the triumph. For example, when we had our first $1 mil-
19
lion month at my first company, we celebrated with a team trip to
20
Vegas. More than 10 years later, I took my team to Tokyo for two
21
days when we reached an even bigger goal so that I could deliver
22
on my promise to sing karaoke in the Lost in Translation booth.
23
The team rallied around my challenge. It created camaraderie,
24
and our passion drove us to achieve our shared vision.
25
The passion others feel for your passion while also pursuing
26
their own is what builds great companies and helps realize great
27
visions.
28
My sister calls me the “Lighthouse CEO”: I have to light up
29
everything around me. But I can’t do it all at once, so whatever
30
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102 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
I’m looking at is what I’m focused on until I need to move to
2
the next thing, always illuminating all my passions around me.
3
People feel it too. When I’m looking at them, I try illuminating
4
them with my passion, hoping we can shine brightly together.
5
For that moment, we are 100 percent present and focused—it’s a
6
two-way street of shared purpose. That’s how productive passion
7
inspires action. It makes everyone able to act and react with con-
8
fidence that the boat will reach the shore so everyone can take the
9
next steps together.
10 11
PASSION CHECK
12
Questions for Self-Reflection
13 14
On a scale of 1 to 10, how good are you at doing things that foster your
15
passions?
16
In what ways could you better foster your passions?
17
How are you going to prioritize your passions to help you keep ex-
18 19 20 21 22
ecuting? On a scale of 1 to 10, how good are you at celebrating the small wins? What could you do now for yourself, your family, or your coworkers to make that happen or keep it happening?
23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
9
2 3 4 5
Never Completely Submit to the Dark Side
6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
M
15 y dad spent 30 years in Portland, Oregon, chasing his
16
dream of rehabilitating housing to restore neighborhoods
17
to the family communities they had once been. He built 300
18
homes, which together would be worth close to $100 million to-
19
day—if he hadn’t sold all of them over a 15-year period to fund
20
his new vision for changing the face of elder care.
21
Unfortunately, that elder care venture proved to be more dif-
22
ficult and costly than he had originally planned. A long-term vi-
23
sion often requires a degree of faith and risk to go with your pain
24
and suffering, especially if it involves creating or reinventing a
25
market for a product or service. The lesson is that my dad’s pas-
26
sion blinded him to this risk. Just as he does when he gambles, he
27
kept going even when prudence said to stop and take a step back
28
and reevaluate. He just kept going, never realizing how deep he
29 30
103
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104 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
had gotten. He ended up selling all his homes to fuel his passion
2
and fund his new vision.
3
My dad never saw how deep he was going and how it was af-
4
fecting more than his financial security—it was affecting his en-
5
tire life, including us, his family. It was as if he had stepped into
6
quicksand. He loved all of us, but he had been consumed by the
7
dark side of passion: his willingness to suffer blinded him to all
8
his problems. He just kept pushing through the pain—kept push-
9
ing forward. He forgot to take a step back. He failed to take
10
stock of what he did and didn’t know.
11
He forgot to master his passion. When he didn’t take the nec-
12
essary steps to demarcate how much he was willing to sacrifice, it
13
affected him both monetarily and personally.
14
Pain can be productive and necessary when it comes to pas-
15
sion, but it can lead you to focus on the wrong things and ignore
16
other problems, warning signs, people, possibilities, opportuni-
17
ties, and ideas. No other trait has such a deep dark side.
18 19
Be a Passion Jedi
20 21 22
Finding your passion empowers you to stretch yourself as an en-
23
trepreneur and ensures your business’s growth. It’s an emotional
24
force that can be harnessed for incredible success. That strong
25
emotional connection to your goals and dreams is a powerful
26
drive, but it can also result in inflexibility—an inability to adjust
27
and correct course. People who lead with passion can struggle to
28
keep their goals in mind and can tend to take setbacks personally.
29
Don’t worry, we’re all human, and I can certainly relate. A high
30
level of passion and belief in ourselves will push us to go to seem-
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Never Comple tely Submit to the Dark Side
105
ingly unimaginable lengths, but we must make sure our passion
1
does not inhibit or blind us at the same time to realities or to the
2
need to adapt and evolve.
3
There are plenty of examples of brands and companies that
4
collapsed or have struggled because their passions blinded them to
5
the market’s reality and they failed to adapt—Kodak, BlackBerry,
6
and Blockbuster, to name a few. But I want you to consider pain
7
one more time from a personal level.
8
The chapters in this section have described some of the warn-
9
ing signs that passion was blinding me and others: ●●
10 11
I didn’t negotiate for a better deal for my horseback rid-
12
ing lessons because I would have done even more work to
13
get them, so I just said yes to the first offer. ●●
14
Passion in extremes can lead others to see you as irratio-
15
nal and illogical, which will cause them to dismiss you
16
and your ideas. ●●
17
Passion can make it difficult to choose what and whom
18
to focus on and make it difficult to identify your highest
19
priorities. ●●
20
Passion can make you forget to stop from time to time
21
and smell the roses and celebrate.
22
Before we continue to action, I want you to stop and au-
23
dit yourself when it comes to passion. You can’t lose yourself in
24
the dark side and expect to execute or help others execute at the
25
highest level.
26
This is about you.
27
My grandmother told me to take care of my husband first
28
before my kids because if my husband was happy, then my kids
29
would be happy. While she was right about many things, I think
30
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106 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
she was wrong with that one (sorry, Grandma). It’s really about
2
you being good to you first. If I’m good at home, I can be good to
3
others, my family is good, and my work is good too. Makes sense,
4
right? If I’m good when I’m in the office, then so are my employ-
5
ees. If my employees are good, then they are giving me more time
6
to be with my family. This is a big reason why people who lead
7
with passion can have trouble working with people who don’t
8
drive from the heart—people who are “just doing their jobs.”
9
Your passion is intertwined with theirs, and the jobs are rarely
10 11 12
separated. To ensure that you resist the darkest side of passion like a passion Jedi, ask yourself questions like these:
13 14
●●
Do I say yes to requests and ideas too quickly?
15
●●
Am I mastering my passion and manifesting it produc-
16 17
tively, or is it controlling me? ●●
18 19
make me happy? ●●
20 21
24
Am I focusing on the right things and people? Are they still things and people I’m willing to suffer for?
●●
22 23
Am I still passionate about what I’m doing? Does it still
Has what I am passionate about changed or evolved and I haven’t?
●●
Do I need to let go and try new things? Do I need to do things differently? Pursue less obvious choices?
25 26
Don’t just ask these questions in moments of self-reflection
27
when things are going wrong. Even when things are calm, you
28
should reflect. It’s also important to ask questions when you can’t
29
stop, or won’t stop, acting and executing. You need to know that
30
what you are doing feels right, that you trust the direction your
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Never Comple tely Submit to the Dark Side
107
passion and the team are pulling you in, and that you are still
1
aligned with your vision—that you can and should keep going.
2
I’ve always had great admiration for TV shows that go out
3
while they are on top and are executing on the highest level, be-
4
fore their passion flagged, such as M*A*S*H, Cheers!, Friends,
5
and Seinfeld.
6
Now, ask yourself one more question: “Am I remembering to
7
have fun even when I feel the pain?”
8
I know too many leaders who refuse to take and bask in the
9
love and only try to give. They send the team out for a drink but
10
refuse to go along. They order lunch for the office but don’t join
11
in. They ask how their employees are doing but never share how
12
they are. They send their employees to a spa but never go them-
13
selves. They make someone take a day off but won’t use their
14
own vacation time.
15
You can’t just be good to others. You need to be good to
16
yourself and let others be good to you. You might think you’re
17
being humble, but actually you’re making it about you because
18
the focus will be on you as the team wonders why you won’t
19
spend time with them.
20
Stop letting your passion drive you away from others. Join
21
that team for lunch. Go to the celebratory happy hour. Take a
22
well day or a vacation, and share with the team what you did.
23 24 25
Live a passion-powered life. Lose yourself in
26
a life you love and share it with others.
27 28
Simply put, it starts with you. If you are not good with your
29
passion, then no one else will be—and remember you can’t fake
30
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108 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
it! Make sure you are living your passion and you are enabling
2
and empowering others to live theirs, doing what is genuine to
3
them, not just to you. We like to celebrate together, but we also
4
like to be individuals celebrating and living out loud in our own
5
ways. This is the way I live, day in, day out. Passion is the driver
6
of everything I’ve ever achieved (and will achieve!) and the amaz-
7
ing and blessing-filled life that I am living. Where will your pas-
8
sion take you?
9 10
PASSION CHECK
11
Questions for Self-Reflection
12 13
Remember: Passion in execution is about doing those things you are
14
emotionally connected to and willing to suffer for. It’s what you need
15
to drive you through the long hours, unexpected obstacles, and all the
16
challenges that must be overcome to execute effectively and realize
17
your goals.
18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25
If you haven’t already, please take the time to carry out the actions and complete the self-reflection exercises in this section: • What have you learned about passion and execution? • What have you learned about yourself in this section? • Have you ever let the darkest side of passion—the pain— blind you? • What will you now do differently?
26 27 28 29 30
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Passion—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
109
1 2
Passion—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
3 4 5
PA S S I O N: RE FLE C T I O N S A N D
6
MOV I NG FO R WA RD ●●
7
Passion is loving what you do so much you are willing to suf-
8
fer for it—it is the fuel needed in execution to achieve your
9
vision and goals and to execute at the highest level. ●●
10
Anything worth doing involves difficulties, challenges, and
11
setbacks. Passion doesn’t make sleepless nights, stressful
12
times, and hard work magically disappear, but it does make
13
them bearable. ●●
Passion is the emotional connection to your vision.
●●
This level of emotion is necessary because it drives almost ev-
14 15 16
erything: positivity, self-belief, learning, focus, satisfaction,
17
and motivation. ●●
18
Those who lead with passion lead with their hearts. Their
19
energy and enthusiasm are infectious, and they drive en-
20
gagement, innovation, resilience, and high performance in
21
themselves and others. ●●
22
Remember those others and yourself when you are fostering
23
and prioritizing your passion to take the time to care for you
24
and celebrate with others. ●●
25
But beware! This strong emotional connection to your goals
26
and dreams is a powerful drive, but it can also be misinter-
27
preted as irrational and illogical. Make sure you understand
28
how people perceive it and understand you.
29 30
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110 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2 3
●●
and suffer for your vision doesn’t make you inflexible or blind
4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28
Be careful that the pain you are willing to take as you sacrifice you to necessary adjustments and course corrections.
●●
Discovering your true passion and then driving forward with energy and excitement are huge parts of your success in execution. Those emotions make it possible to put in the work in action, and they give you the power to endure when you need resilience. Sharing your passion binds you to others in relationships.
BE FO RE YO U G O: WHAT ’S T H E S C EN A R I O? This scenario is designed to help you think about everything you have learned in this section. Please take a few minutes to complete this exercise as best you can. I promise it will be worth it. If you get stuck or you are not sure about your answer, go back and review the section. Remember, there is no right or wrong answer here. This is just a way of applying your new knowledge about passion. Often it is easier to give advice to someone else, when you’re not wrapped up in your own world, full of all its complexities. A friend has always enjoyed her job. She likes what she does and the people she does it with, and has always felt challenged. However, lately she has been feeling bored and disengaged, and her work and health are suffering. How would you use the concepts you’ve learned about passion to help her?
29 30
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1 2
T R A I T
3
3
4 5
ACTION
6
Taking That First Step and the Next One
9
7 8 10
A journey of a thousand miles
11
begins with a single step.
12
— L AO T Z U
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
10
2 3 4 5
Setting the Stage to Act
6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
K
“
14 15
im, are you ready?” the producers asked me. What did they mean? Was I ready for the 10-day trip to
16
Tel Aviv and then Germany I was supposed to take in the morn-
17
ing? Or was I ready for my first public speech on execution I was
18
supposed to give to 2,000 people in less than two hours at this
19
beautiful event? An event where I was on the bill with acclaimed
20
speakers whose work I greatly admired? They were authors and
21
accomplished veterans of the stage. I was the new kid on the
22
block, and the conversation quickly shifted focus to my talk.
23 24
“So, Kim, how many times have you given this speech on
25
execution?” “Never.”
26
“No, no, sorry. We meant how many times have you given
27
this speech generally, not the specific one you’re giving for our
28
event?”
29 30
“Nope, still never.” 113
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114 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
“Wait, you’ve never given this talk before?”
2
“Nope. Aside from trying an early version out on a few of
3
my employees, I’ve never spoken to any audience on execution
4
before.”
5
“Are you kidding?” they laughed nervously.
6
I shook my head no.
7
“Seriously?”
8
I smiled. I could see some of them who were involved in the
9
planning of the event turning a little white, concerned they had
10
even invited me. Sensing that concern and worrying that what-
11
ever I said next might get someone fired, I decided not to add that
12
I had never even spoken to an audience this large on any topic.
13
Because in actuality, none of that mattered for me taking the
14
stage for the first time to talk about execution. I knew I could be
15
successful. I pushed their reactions to the side.
16
“Kim, are you ready?”
17
Of course I was! I wasn’t just ready. I was prepared to lead
18
with action. When given a chance to seize an opportunity to take
19
the first step or the next step to realizing my vision, I take it. I
20
always take it.
21 22
Take That First Step
23 24 25
The question I get asked most often by entrepreneurs is: “I have
26
a great idea. Where do I start?” The answer is, “Take the first
27
step!” In most instances, the first step is so easy: Just do. Dive
28
in. Motion creates motion. Just go. And trust me, I understand
29
taking the first step is often the hardest part in an entrepreneur’s
30
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Se t ting the Stage to Ac t
115
journey. But there’s no magic formula for success, and you don’t
1
need 100 percent certainty or even have to know the ultimate
2
destination. You just have to move forward.
3
I asked some of the most successful executives and entrepre-
4
neurs if where they are today is where they thought they would
5
be when they started out in business. None of them said yes.
6
You know I didn’t. My dot-com career went down in flames as
7
quickly as it started. I had no choice but to act. The question was,
8
what choice would I make to act on? I chose Hawaii and starting
9
my own company. The problem is that’s what too many people
10
with brilliant ideas don’t do. They get stuck in analysis paralysis
11
and come up with every reason why not to take the plunge: from
12
finances to the team to the business plan being “not quite right.”
13
Unless you would be doing something illegal or unless lives or the
14
well-being of others would be at stake, these are just excuses for
15
shying away from the first step.
16
People can’t believe I can block out all the noise and act. But
17
that’s what you must do to take the first step and act. I’ve seen this
18
happen dozens of times in my digital career. Two companies have
19
similar ideas: One spends all its time planning and strategizing;
20
the other goes and attempts to build toward its vision. In the end,
21
the company that took action may not have built the better prod-
22
uct, but it acted and made it to market first. Sure, that company
23
hit a few dips before becoming successful, but most companies—
24
like people—rarely achieve success exactly they way they planned
25
it. Success is not linear. It’s the same messy line to the top.
26
That said, I do not recommend that first step be quitting your
27
day job. I’ve seen that happen all too often. If your bank account
28
is empty, then you shouldn’t quit what is making you money. My
29 30
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116 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
grandfather always said, “Make hay when the sun is shining.” If
2
you have a family, it’s even more important: family first! Remem-
3
ber my cautionary tale about my father: don’t go all in on the
4
next thing or the side hustle until you absolutely have to. Keep it
5
as a side hustle until you can clearly see that you can live off the
6
profits it makes, get funding, or secure a loan to make sure it pays
7
your bills.
8
I didn’t quit my job as a CEO to pursue my passion for exe-
9
cution after I nailed it on that stage that day. But Stacey did. She
10
was a health and wellness nut who worked in corporate finance
11
and wanted to start her own juicing company. She took the right
12
first steps and started working weekends at a farmers’ market,
13
developing devoted juice fans. That’s when she decided to leave
14
her well-paying job to start her own juice company. But she went
15
all in on juice without having a clear business plan to ensure that
16
she could pay the bills. Eventually, she ran out of savings and had
17
to go find a new job.
18
Acting on a vision doesn’t mean all or nothing. It’s truly
19
about trial and error and course corrections, learning what you
20
don’t know so you can act with more and more certainty. But
21
even then you may never be certain! And that’s OK. It’s impos-
22
sible to predict what will happen. You can always change. Just
23
move. Start. Start now!
24
However, when you do act, don’t expect that first step to
25
keep you growing and executing at the highest levels. More than
26
the “Beware!” of acting with total uncertainty or a complete lack
27
of planning, if your action doesn’t evolve to the next step—if you
28
get stuck repeating the first step over and over, competition and
29
imitation come calling quickly in the digital age. One need only
30
think about Apple to understand what I mean. Apple wasn’t first
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117
to market with its MP3 player or smartphone. It didn’t invent
1
voice activation or facial recognition. It simply evolved the tech-
2
nology faster and then marketed it better than its competition.
3
That’s a key lesson in action. Apple acted and kept acting to
4
reaffirm the passion (meaning emotional connection) people had
5
to its brand—even when other brands produced products that
6
equaled or bettered Apple’s. That’s how they were able to stay
7
on top and become one of the most iconic and valuable brands
8
in the world. A brand that people are unquestionably loyal to.
9
Because it’s never just about the product. People act on passion.
10
Apple is not selling iPhones. McDonald’s is not selling hamburg-
11
ers. Google is not selling searches. Nike is not selling sneakers.
12
Amazon is not selling products. They are selling you visions of
13
a better, more connected, and more convenient life to make you
14
want something and act. You need to remember this as you act.
15
In fact, if I hadn’t acted on my passion, my career and life would
16
have looked vastly different.
17 18
Your First Step Is What You Make It
19
Clearly, there are some situations in which there are very seri-
21
ous and far-reaching consequences that require more planning
22
and thought than other situations do when it comes to executing
23
your vision. Big change and big actions often generate big resis-
24
tance in others and in you. But more often than not, big is what
25
you make it in your mind, and that big feeling prevents you from
26
taking that first step. You might think that the first step for me
27
was getting on that plane to Hawaii to start my first business. Yet
28
I might never have had the courage to get on that plane if I hadn’t
29
acted in a smaller way first.
30
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1
When I was a freshman in college, I had a serious crush on
2
this guy in my math class. Before we went into the classroom,
3
I sat outside and listened to him tell stories of growing up and
4
surfing in Hawaii. I’d never been to Hawaii, but it sounded so
5
cool and exotic to me, a girl from Portland, Oregon. I wished he
6
would ask me out. He didn’t. Instead, after listening for weeks
7
every day before class, I committed to myself to make the first
8
move. I went to his dorm room one night and asked him out on
9
a date. Sure, it wasn’t exactly common for girls to ask the boys
10
out on my campus, and there was a chance he would say no. But
11
what if he said yes?! Any risk of rejection outweighed the poten-
12
tial outcome of the date, so I pushed rejection out of my mind,
13
and I turned a deaf ear to my friends who told me I was crazy or
14
that I should “wait for him to ask me.” I walked to his dorm, and
15
knocked with confidence.
16
Fast-forward 20 years later and we’re married and teaching
17
our twins how to surf. And it all started with me resolving to
18
push past any excuses and resistance and acting by
19 20
●●
Taking the first step.
21
●●
Prioritizing the action.
22
●●
Acting even though it was uncomfortable.
23
●●
Taking the next step and then the next and the next . . .
24 25
What was the worst thing that could have happened when
26
I asked my future husband out? He could have said no? My
27
friends made potential rejection such a big deal. It wasn’t—
28
rejection never is. It would just have been a different first step to
29
realizing my vision of our being together. The stakes were not as
30
high as people made them out to be. Most of the time a first step
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is neither an end nor irreversible. Some don’t even have major
1
consequences. We just agonize over rejection instead of finding
2
another path to a path.
3 4 5
One step is all you need to get going.
6 7
Whether it is love or business or anywhere in between, too
8
many of us spend too much time worrying about the possible fail-
9
ure or rejection and the obstacles that could get in our way. We
10
can’t live in the realm of “maybe” or “what if.” That can be para-
11
lyzing. A little healthy skepticism is natural, but the reality is that
12
most of the time the worst thing you think could happen won’t.
13
Don’t worry about what will happen in a week, a month, or a
14
year. Just act! Your first inclination should be to do something—
15
anything—to get you moving in the right direction, no matter
16
how small that step may be. Go forth and start conquering!
17
The Japanese have a word for this in business and life: kai-
18
zen. Basically, kaizen is about making continuous positive
19
changes to increase productivity and improve your life. Each step
20
may seem small, but taken cumulatively, what they lead to is big
21
change. My small step to ask a guy out in college promised noth-
22
ing more than the sting of rejection as a negative consequence.
23
But that same small step led not only to my marriage but to the
24
opportunity to move with him to Hawaii, start my first business,
25
and execute my vision of freedom, being my own boss, and con-
26
trolling my destiny.
27
Sure, there were many other steps that followed. But when I
28
asked my husband out, I stopped doing what normally gets in the
29
way of small first steps: procrastinating.
30
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1
So:
2 3
●●
prioritize, not procrastinate?
4 5
●●
8 9
How will you keep your actions aligned with your vision and passion?
6 7
How do you take that first step—and the next one—and
●●
How can you manage resistance, doubt, fear, uncertainty, and risk and keep acting?
Let’s explore all of these questions further and get into action.
10 11
ACTION CHECK
12
Questions for Self-Reflection
13 14
People who lead with action seize the day for the right opportunity to
15
make things happen. Think about a time you seized the day and acted.
16
What was your first step?
17
What happened?
18
How did it make you feel?
19
What was the result?
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
11
2 3 4 5
Prioritize Action: Better to Start Than Procrastinate
6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
D
15 espite my entrepreneurial DNA, I admit I used to think the
16
actions that lead to success followed a fairly straight line to
17
the top. Naive, right? As a teenager and college grad, I believed a
18
successful life was going to be simple: I would go to college, get
19
a job, and start a family—each a step up on that straight line to
20
success. This turned out to be far from reality. But that’s okay be-
21
cause success would have been only a fraction as fulfilling as it
22
has been if the path had been linear. Success required me to con-
23
stantly seize every opportunity to take first steps forward and
24
then the next one, no matter how unpleasant they were.
25
Back before I knew success was that messy line to the top,
26
one of my mentors asked me why I saw everything as a step-by-
27
step progression. “Could you see it and do it on parallel paths?”
28
he asked. I never looked at action the same way again.
29 30
Prioritizing your vision is connected to prioritizing the ac121
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122 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
tions that directly relate to executing that vision. That correla-
2
tion is why I keep my vision posted at the top of my to-do list to
3
make sure the things at the top of my list are connected to it. Un-
4
fortunately, too many of us never even get to our to-do lists. A
5
lot of research has been done with college students, and the data
6
shows that as many as 70 percent of them procrastinate. While
7
that number drops after college, up to 25 percent of people admit
8
to significant procrastination as adults.1
9
Some researchers have divided these procrastinators into
10
types. The first is the “arousal” procrastinator: Arousal procras-
11
tinators are people who need the rush of adrenaline created by
12
urgency to execute and thus wait to the last minute. The sec-
13
ond type of procrastinator is more dangerous to execution: the
14
“avoidant” procrastinator.2
15
Avoidant procrastinators can’t engage in the task. This is of-
16
ten because they don’t think they have the ability to do it or that it
17
simply does not inspire them to action. I’ll address doubting your
18
ability or lack of inspiration shortly. But there is another big rea-
19
son that gets in the way of taking that first step and all the other
20
steps going on around you. You have reasons for not acting:
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
I have to do this for my boss. My client needs this now. My kid needs a ride. I’m hungry. I can’t afford it right now. I’m tired.
28
Every one of those reasons may be true, important, and even
29
urgent. But one thing is for sure: reasons do not motivate us to
30
act on our vision. They only lead to answers—usually reasons
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123
why not. That is, excuses. Remember: Passion is about suffering
1
for vision—no excuses.
2
Action is about prioritizing that first step and the next so you
3
hold yourself accountable—no excuses! Even if it means work-
4
ing late when you’re tired and you would rather be in bed watch-
5
ing your favorite TV show. It’s of course much harder to do that
6
when someone else—be it your boss, client, or family—is hold-
7
ing you accountable for your actions (or “nonactions”), but there
8
are plenty of hours left in the day when no one is holding you ac-
9
countable but you. But you must. Undoubtedly, this can be hard
10
to do when so many different things are pulling you in different
11
directions. I get it, but you have to prioritize and persevere.
12 13 14
If You Keep Doing What Is Comfortable and Easiest, You’ll Get Stuck
15 16 17
Most people don’t procrastinate enjoyable activities, like going
18
on a vacation. We procrastinate when we are faced with uncer-
19
tainty or actions that we believe will in some way be unpleas-
20
ant or have unknown outcomes. We procrastinate delivering bad
21
news or doing something difficult because the easiest actions give
22
us the satisfaction of getting something done. But let’s recall the
23
words of President John F. Kennedy, whose vision to reach
24
the moon kicked off the work on these traits of execution: “There
25
are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less
26
than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.”
27
Think about your procrastination. It probably occurs when
28
you have to take actions you don’t want to take or you are un-
29
sure about, or they are outside of your comfort zone. In most
30
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124 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
cases, putting it off only makes the situation worse and makes the
2
first step even harder because you’re thinking about it too much!
3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
Action Pulse Check Think about the last time you had to deliver bad news. What happened when you finally delivered it? Now take some hard-to-deliver news (no matter how small it is) and deliver it. Find the right place to do it— preferably in person but if not, on the phone and if necessary by e-mail (not text). Take note of how you feel afterward.
14 15 16
Stop just checking boxes on your to-do list, and instead do
17
the hardest thing first no matter how unpleasant it might be. I’m
18
not against doing certain tasks because you love doing them, but
19
it usually means you are putting off doing something more dif-
20
ficult. No one ever failed to achieve their goals because they did
21
the harder thing first instead of laundry. I prioritized my vision
22
and passion and created the opportunity by doing difficult, even
23
intimidating, things. I gave them quality time and a higher emo-
24
tional value, and I was willing to suffer for them. Then, I acted
25
and persisted no matter how hard or unpleasant the actions were.
26 27
People have never achieved their goals
28
and reached their visions because
29
they did the easiest things first.
30
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125
I remember as a teenager my grandfather wanted my sister,
1
brother, and me to read a new Rush Limbaugh book. We all loved
2
our grandfather, but that wasn’t going to happen. It wasn’t about
3
Rush’s politics. It was because his book was 300 pages long, and
4
we had better things to do, including nothing at all. As a teenager,
5
“nothing” was better than the unpleasantness of reading that book.
6
Then I had a vision that made my grandfather’s vision mine.
7
I told him if he paid me to read it, I would write him a summary. I
8
ended up making $20. I had just found a way to make it a prior-
9
ity and take the first step.
10 11
Every journey starts with that first page—that first step to
12
your goal:
13 ●●
If you want to be a chef, take a cooking class.
14
●●
If you want to be an artist, take an art class.
15
●●
If you want to start a business, go do the research.
16
●●
If you want to write a book, write the first sentence.
17
●●
If you want your grandfather to pay you to read a book,
18
make a deal.
19 20
And what’s after that first step? Your next step—and every
21
step after that! I cannot emphasize this enough: It’s really easy to
22
get stuck in an action by getting too comfortable with any step
23
in the process. The goal is to keep moving forward and making
24
progress to the goal or finish line. Do not repeat the same step
25
over again because that gets boring!
26
You probably have heard some version of this line before:
27
the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over
28
and expecting a different result. In action, the definition of in-
29
sanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting to
30
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126 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
move forward. Think of it this way: it is entirely possible to run
2
26.2 miles—the length of a marathon—by running 1 mile, turn-
3
ing around, running back to the start, and then running the first
4
mile again about nine times. You cover the same distance and use
5
up just as much energy as the regular marathon without ever ad-
6
vancing past the first mile.
7 8 9
The Next Steps to Realizing Your Vision
10 11
Executing in business is all about growth. But doing the same
12
thing over and over only leads to managing the growth you have,
13
not evolving to create new steps to act and opportunities to grow
14
and execute your vision.
15
Even I have made this mistake. While no one has ever said
16
to me, “Kim, you need to act!” about something I cared about, I
17
have missed some next steps. Not because I repeated steps or hes-
18
itated or thought the action was too risky but because I didn’t
19
go far enough, see the need to scale in my next steps, or failed
20
to put more money in. Other times, I acted and realized too late
21
that I didn’t understand the whole picture when I thought I had
22
planned everything out.
23 24
A couple of times that actually caused my entire company pain—actual pain.
25
As a team bonding experience, I decided a great exercise to
26
help people “break through” their fears and increase their confi-
27
dence would be breaking wooden boards karate style. None of
28
us knew karate, but we were told in the instructions we read that
29
five-year-olds could push through one of the boards. How much
30
fun would this be?
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Prioritize Ac tion: Be t ter to Start Than Procrastinate
127
Everyone was into it. “You can do it!” we all screamed as
1
employee after employee approached the boards, brought their
2
hands crashing down, and . . . failed to break a single board.
3
No one could do it.
4
This exercise was supposed to be about confidence, not con-
5
tusions. Yet that’s what everyone was getting as they failed to
6
break the board and grabbed their hands in pain. Turned out we
7
had the boards cut the wrong way. You apparently have to have
8
the wood cut with the grain for this to work. We didn’t. We were
9
trying to break boards for bonding, but we had failed to read that
10
part of the instructions, let alone specify the right way to cut the
11
boards at Home Depot!
12
To avoid breaking more bones in the future, I have learned
13
that next steps often require more planning and focus than you
14
think—a more holistic vision to ensure that you have identified
15
the path to your vision and know what you don’t know. You
16
must understand this too:
17 18
Six Things You Should Do Before You Act
19 20
1. Identify additional action steps.
21
2. Create a time frame.
22
3. Build in accountability.
23
4. Anticipate possible obstacles.
24
5. Create a list of resources.
25
6. Create a review process.
26 27
1. Identify Additional Action Steps
28
Identify the steps that will enable you to realize your vision. Then
29
plan out your steps in sequence, knowing that the next step is the
30
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128 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
most important and that subsequent steps might change as your
2
journey evolves.
3
Be ready and open to pivot when you need to. That way you
4
won’t miss the opportunities right in front of you and those that
5
offer the next opportunities.
6 7
2. Create a Time Frame
8
Set realistic time frames for completing the next step and subse-
9
quent steps.
10
The balance here is in creating time frames that give you
11
enough time to make it happen—but also put enough pressure on
12
you to get going. Too far out and it might be hard to get started;
13
too close and it might feel like too much pressure.
14 15
3. Build in Accountability
16
Ensure that steps are completed. Commit to someone or some-
17
thing.
18
Is it a friend, a colleague, boss? Whatever you do, make sure
19
you have some measures for accountability to encourage you to
20
stay on track.
21 22
4. Anticipate Possible Obstacles
23
How might you overcome obstacles and anticipate what you
24
don’t know? Think about what might get in the way or stop you.
25
Don’t dwell on this, but at least consider what the obstacles
26
might be and how you will deal with them should they arise.
27 28
5. Create a List of Resources
29
Be specific on what you will need to execute—and don’t lowball!
30
My grandfather taught me this rule when I was young, and I
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Prioritize Ac tion: Be t ter to Start Than Procrastinate
129
think about it all the time. Everything will be twice as hard, take
1
twice as long, and cost twice as much as you think it will.
2
Consider everything you’re going to need for effective action,
3
and make the next step happen. Do you need money, and if so, how
4
much? Do you need people, and if so, what are their skills or respec-
5
tive roles? Do you need equipment, and if so, where can you get it?
6 7
6. Create a Review Process
8
You need to review to keep properly focused on progress. Every
9
action is a potential lesson that can inform you about your busi-
10
ness. Record your actions and the results, and make sure you
11
measure what you do and how it turns out.
12
People who lead with action will find taking these steps
13
frustrating—we’d rather just do. But we must review. Take a few
14
minutes to think about them, and answer those questions. As
15
with all of the traits, there is a caution for those who lead with
16
action: the willingness to step in and take on a challenge may
17
have gotten you where you are today, but it also can be your
18
downfall, if it leads you away from your vision and isolates you
19
from others.
20 21 ACTION CHECK
22
Questions for Self-Reflection
23
There’s no substitute for taking action. Anything else is just an excuse.
25
24
What actions will you take?
26
What are your first and next steps?
27
How will you prioritize them?
28
How have you let excuses and fear of rejection stop you in the
29 30
past? How can you get past that in the future?
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
12
2 3 4 5
Vision Quest
6 7 8 9 10 11
W
12 hen I was three, I wanted to lie in a hammock. We didn’t
13
have a hammock, and my parents were not going to buy
14
me a hammock. So I strung a sheet up between two doors in
15
our house and made myself a hammock. I remember hitting the
16
ground hard in my first attempt to secure the sheets to the knobs.
17
This became my earliest evidence of living one of my mottos:
18
“Fail fast, learn, and move on.” On my second try, I succeeded
19
and fell comfortably asleep in my hammock until my parents
20
woke me up for dinner.
21
When I was five, I wanted a pool, but we didn’t have the
22
money to build one. The Portland, Oregon, weather didn’t justify
23
it. My first attempt that spring to build one did not please my par-
24
ents as much as the hammock had: I locked the bathroom door,
25
wedged a towel under the crack at the bottom, and filled the entire
26
room with dish soap and water. I was enjoying my bubble pool
27
until my parents arrived home to soapy water gushing through
28
the roof of the dining room. My second try was more success-
29
ful that summer: I took all the sand out of my sandbox and put a
30
131
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132 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
green tarp down and filled it with water to make the pool of my
2
dreams. I spent countless days that summer playing in it.
3
When I was eight, my desires had become more manageable
4
but couldn’t be solved by creatively using what we had around
5
the house: I wanted a comic book. My parents told me if I wanted
6
it, I needed to find a way to earn it. That’s when I learned you get
7
5 cents for returning a can to the supermarket in Oregon. Money
8
did not grow on trees, but it did lie in trash bins! Every can I saw
9
in a bin or in people’s hands as they drank looked like opportu-
10
nity. I pulled my red wagon from door to door in my neighbor-
11
hood collecting the cans. Neighbors soon started saving them for
12
me, and it added up fast.
13
So when I say my actions have always been in line with my
14
visions to get what I wanted—even the small ones like those I just
15
described and eventually those horseback riding lessons I bar-
16
tered for at 11—I pretty much mean always.
17
But as a teenager my visions went beyond hammocks and
18
horses. In high school, my vision for my “life” got much bigger:
19
owning a red Jeep Wrangler.
20
I had a clear, compelling vision of this Jeep. I loved the feel-
21
ing of freedom it would give me as I thought about it. I could feel
22
myself driving down the road, wind in my hair, top down, 1990s
23
music blasting. I pictured myself driving it to school and picking
24
up my friends and talking about our days. We would go to the
25
river and listen to Bon Jovi.
26
I had to have that Jeep, and it had to be red. I was deter-
27
mined. I taped up pictures of that Jeep in my room and got to
28
work. First, I made a deal with my dad and mom: they agreed
29
to match every dollar I earned to buy the Jeep. No after-school
30
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Vision Quest
133
sports or activities for me. I worked any job I could find. I folded
1
sweaters and ran the cash register at a clothing store. I made
2
pizza. I sold men’s suits. I worked at a candy store. I babysat. I
3
was focused and willing to do whatever it took to get that Jeep.
4
I even built in accountability by having my dad regularly check in
5
on whether I was reaching my savings target.
6
And I did it. It took me two years from the time I had the vi-
7
sion, but I finally got the money to put a down payment on the
8
Jeep. But most importantly, it was the first time I understood the
9
power of having my goal visible so I could see it and revisit it
10
over and over again. While other people at work were moaning
11
and complaining, I generally had a smile on my face because I
12
knew I would soon be driving my red Jeep. Everything I was do-
13
ing was directly connected to my vision taped up in my room. I
14
had purpose, focus, and accountability to my vision. I had to con-
15
tinue to work to pay for the monthly payments, but I didn’t care.
16
I knew going in that was part of the deal with my dad, and I was
17
prepared to do whatever it took to get it and keep it.
18
Congratulations, you’re halfway through our journey through
19
execution! Time to reflect back on vision and make sure you have
20
this too.
21 22
Don’t Mistake Busyness for Progress
23
In a world of limited time and resources, you need to carefully
25
choose where to invest your energy and actions. Be selective.
26
What is important along every step of the way is that your ac-
27
tions are aligned with your vision and your passion for it. That
28
way you always ensure that those actions aren’t just checkmarks
29
24
30
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134 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
on a to-do list—or worse, checkmarks on a to-do list for the vi-
2
sions others told you to pursue.
3
This is why you must create that constant daily review pro-
4
cess for your actions and make sure your actions align with your
5
vision, not just the bottom line:
6 7
●●
Is where you are going still where you want to go?
8
●●
Are your actions helping you achieve your vision and fos-
9
tering your passion?
10
Think back to the scenario in Chapter 3 and Darren whose
11
friends and family told him he made the best chili in the entire
12
world and convinced him to quit his job and open a food truck.
13
He was miserable. What happened? He took the first step. He
14
even took some of the next steps and planned well. But Darren
15
never wanted to open a food truck: the food truck was their vi-
16
sion for him. How did he think pursuing their vision could last
17
when he never saw it for himself?
18 19
Without vision, action is just busyness.
20
Without passion, it’s boring.
21 22 23
Sometimes it is easy to check the alignment between your ac-
24
tions and your vision and passion. When I got on that plane to
25
Hawaii to start my first business with only the money I had bor-
26
rowed from my grandmother, I remember asking myself, “Am
27
I crazy?” But I quickly remembered my goals for my vision that I
28
had written down long before I left: freedom, to be my own boss,
29
and to control my destiny. The delete button had been pushed on
30
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135
my professional identity, my income, and my future, and I had
1
vowed never to let that happen again.
2
It’s when the steps start adding up and speeding up that you
3
need to check yourself. Really think about what it is that you
4
want and are working toward. After all, it is your vision and pas-
5
sion that keep you going when the actions inevitably get to be a
6
real slog. As Yogi Berra said, “If you don’t know where you’re
7
going, you might not get there”:
8 9
●●
Visions can evolve. Is yours still where you started?
10
●●
Passions can wane. Are you still willing to suffer for your
11
vision?
12 13
Only when the answer to these questions is yes can you have
14
progress—both for yourself and others.
15
Consider another version of the food truck scenario from the
16
vision section: What if Darren did have a vision to open a food
17
truck, but he didn’t love cooking food for anyone but his clos-
18
est friends and family? His execution would dissipate because he
19
wasn’t pursuing his passion. But gut checks are not always this
20
easy and clear before the first step.
21
For example, what if Darren did love serving chili to all
22
people and making them happy? He could picture himself in the
23
truck. Sure, he knew it was a tough business, but he loved chili
24
and loved making it. Then he discovered that there were already
25
two popular chili food trucks in town. Competition for the chili
26
dollars was fierce, but the food truck scene was hot. So Darren
27
pivoted. He researched what kind of food trucks were missing in
28
town and one stood out: Chinese food.
29 30
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136 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
There was only one problem: Darren hated Chinese food,
2
never made it, and never ate it. But the demand was there, so he
3
pursued that path, eventually quit his job, and opened the truck.
4
Six months later, he found himself making money, but he was
5
stressed and angry. The truck was doing fine, but he was not. He
6
mismanaged his expectations. When he got an offer to sell it at
7
a breakeven price, he jumped at it and immediately returned to
8
his old job.
9
What happened? This time Darren took steps toward his vi-
10
sion of a food truck, and it was his passion, right? So why did he
11
fail? Because he was suffering for only part of his passion. De-
12
spite his vision and passion for the food truck scene, he had no
13
emotional connection to the single thing he would be connected
14
to: the food. Even though he was successful, he came into work
15
every day hating the product he produced.
16
Sometimes this matters, especially when you are personally
17
connected to the product, not just the process. I never cared what
18
jobs I had as long as I earned money toward my pursuit of my red
19
Jeep. I wasn’t producing what I sold. Same thing when it came to
20
not worrying about what I sold once we set up my first business
21
in Hawaii. I sold toy cars, teeth whiteners, doggie sunglasses . . .
22
whatever it took to get me to where I wanted to be. My passion
23
was for the process, not the product. But if your passion is con-
24
nected to the product and the process, then you can’t let either be
25
out of alignment.
26
And without that alignment between vision, passion, and ac-
27
tion, you’ll never inspire others to join you and act on your be-
28
half to scale the vision you have.
29 30
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Vision Quest
137
1 2
Action Pulse Check
3
Do what Darren failed to do when he executed his vision
4
for opening a food truck. Break your passion down into
5
two parts: process and product. For him that was running
6
a business cooking and serving others (process) and chili
7
(product).
8
Do you have passion for both sides of the list, and are
9
they aligned with your actions? If not, adjust your passion
10
and actions—or consider whether your vision is not what
11
you actually want to act on.
12 13 14 15
Action Without Others Is Lonely
16 17
I love what I do. I also love just as much that I get to work with
18
some of the most talented individuals in my industry. I’ve worked
19
with some of the same people for nearly 20 years, but I’m
20
prouder to call them my friends. In fact, my office is right next to
21
the office of my best friend from college. That’s why every time
22
I see someone acting alone, I always feel a tinge of sadness—
23
regardless of whether I disagree or agree with the action.
24 25
You need others to help you take the
26
next steps and develop a culture of action in
27
which to scale your vision and grow.
28 29 30
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138 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Getting people to act on your vision in business does not
2
need to be a lonely experience, nor should it be. Other people
3
give you different perspectives on your action based on their per-
4
sonal experiences. They give you peripheral vision and feedback,
5
and they prepare you for potential blind spots. We’ll cover this
6
in depth in Trait 5, “Relationships,” but when it comes to action,
7
know that as you grow, you need to bring people in and surround
8
yourself with others who want to help you act.
9
There are so many different and new opportunities that if
10
you look at them from only one perspective, you may miss op-
11
portunities. I need people who can see them too. It is important
12
not just to do what you are told—or focus exclusively on the
13
risks and downsides.
14
As you have probably guessed, repetitive action is not my
15
style. I am always looking to take the next step. Yet unlike run-
16
ning a marathon, you can’t always leave the first steps behind.
17
You need to hire help or automate actions that are repeatable
18
and not the best use of your time so you can move on to the next
19
steps. That means not only delegating to others those actions that
20
have become systematic (even the ones you love to do) but also
21
empowering other people to take actions.
22
Allow your people to take action and push forward in ways
23
you might not see or have considered—as long as what they do
24
aligns with the company vision.
25
I’ve been the CEO of businesses with hundreds of employ-
26
ees, and I still call myself an entrepreneur—someone who feels
27
like she’s just starting, pushing boundaries, willing to take risks
28
to grow. I want anyone who works for me or with me to feel
29
the same way. Bottom to top, I don’t want anyone confined to
30
a box—people can’t just do what they’re told. So I’m naturally
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Vision Quest
139
more hands-off than some executives, and I expect my leaders to
1
be the same way. I also don’t want the people I surround myself
2
with to act like me. I want them to challenge and push me and
3
themselves forward. I do not want a table full of naysayers. I do
4
want people to play devil’s advocates. I’m happy to have a bunch
5
of entrepreneurs acting entrepreneurial in the service of achieving
6
the goals of the company.
7
How can we do that? By creating autonomous work envi-
8
ronments that allow your employees to be “intrapreneurs.” Intra-
9
preneurs are entrepreneurs within the walls of the company they
10
work for. They get job security, but they also have the opportu-
11
nity to work as individuals in identifying, anticipating, and pur-
12
suing opportunities.
13
How do you create that? Just let it happen. Don’t try to make
14
people conform to one vantage point because conformity will get
15
you only one way—and not necessarily the best way—of doing
16
things. Allow people to teach you and create, innovate, and imag-
17
ine any idea possible. Allow them to be individuals and express
18
their individuality. We can still be a team serving the goals of the
19
company or our vision and demand results and have individual-
20
ity. It’s wrong to think that those actions have to be in conflict. In
21
fact, working in that type of environment is how your employees
22
and coworkers will learn to challenge you and most importantly
23
themselves. You don’t win by having people focus on mitigating
24
the risk of their actions. You don’t succeed by just following the
25
safe choices.
26
And you can’t always rely on what the data tells you at first
27
glance. We all want the comfort of certainty. Numbers can pro-
28
vide that comfort. But even numbers can be an illusion. In a quest
29
to feel more comfortable about our decisions, we can use data to
30
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140 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
engage in seeking confirmation bias, which works this way: hav-
2
ing made a decision, we seek out all the data that confirms our
3
judgment and we ignore all the data that disagrees with it. We get
4
the illusion of certainty through selective attention. That’s not a
5
good idea. Better to let the data tell all its stories.
6
I was watching the movie Hidden Figures, a dramatization
7
of the untold story of African-American women who worked as
8
mathematicians or human “calculators” for NASA at the start of
9
the space race. The United States had fallen behind Russia and
10
meeting President Kennedy’s challenge to reach the moon by the
11
end of the decade. In one scene, Katherine Johnson (who was a
12
real-life hero and, at 97 years old, received the Presidential Medal
13
of Freedom from President Barack Obama) is pressed by her su-
14
pervisor about how she came up with the correct calculations for a
15
rocket launch despite all the redacted information in the document.
16
“Well, what’s there tells a story if you read between the lines,”
17
she says. She did the math, she said, and “looked beyond” the
18
data.
19
It’s indisputable that Katherine Johnson and the other fe-
20
male African-American mathematicians disrupted the culture of
21
NASA and forced the men to see problems and people differently.
22
They were instrumental in helping the United States reclaim the
23
momentum from the Russians and reach the moon first. While
24
the world outside pushed people of color to the margins of soci-
25
ety, NASA knew that a culture of action is no good if it doesn’t
26
challenge and disrupt, allowing people to “look beyond”:
27 28
●●
You need to encourage disruption—different ideas or
29
ways of doing things—in the workplace and marketplace
30
and support it with your actions.
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Vision Quest
●●
●●
141
You need a strong organization and leadership to do this
1
to mitigate the chaos of a lot of parallel actions and ex-
2
plorations, not to mention the risks.
3
Your people need to be held accountable for their actions,
4
but they do not, and in some cases should not, follow the
5
same next steps you take.
6 7
But some words of warning as you look beyond: People who
8
lead with action have to remember that not everyone does. Take
9
a moment and remember that you may want to go go go, but
10
others who lead with one of the other traits may act slower, and
11
speed is not always the fastest path to success for everyone.
12 13 14
It Is a Journey
15 16
People who don’t know me are often surprised how much I
17
value the idea that the journey itself is the destination. Part of
18
this comes from my parents, intrepid entrepreneurs who drove
19
around the country looking for places to live. It was a latent bit
20
of DNA, I admit. I used to think the destination was the destina-
21
tion, just as I used to think success was a linear progression. The
22
willingness to take on any challenge has gotten me to where I am
23
today, but I would get lost if I focused only on the action—and
24
thus lost not only perspective but also the joy of the journey.
25 26 27
Your journey should be enjoyable
28
and, yes, fun.
29 30
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142 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2 3 4
And it is all a journey! Let me tell you something about work-life balance: It is illusive and elusive. It’s not as much about a work-life separation or balance as it is about a work-life integration.
5
The distinction between work and play is actually arbitrary,
6
a function of the binary brain that likes to divide the world into
7
polar opposites. Often work feels like play, and sometimes play
8
feeds your work. I have had some of my best ideas when vaca-
9
tioning! Why not share them? Technology has enabled us to be
10
available 24/7. Resistance may not be futile, but what are you
11
fighting? And how much is it costing you? This is why I don’t
12
mind taking a conference call on vacation—because the reality is
13
that I’m able to enjoy my vacation more by doing this.
14
My success is defined by doing what I love with people I care
15
about every day and helping them achieve their visions. Success
16
is best when shared—with employees, partners, clients, friends,
17
family, and your community. So I try to create and maintain as
18
many synergies as possible within all areas of my life. That does
19
not stop me from doing what I love—in fact, it has allowed me to
20
do more of what I love as I have taken each step forward.
21
For example, I love to travel. Working for a global company,
22
I not only get to travel for work but I can also have my husband
23
fly out for a four-day weekend to explore Paris, Tokyo, or Berlin.
24
Because my visions, passions, and actions infuse each other, I
25
never feel like I am missing anything because I refuse to accept
26
that they must be separated in order to have balance. When you
27
act, you must maintain the important relationships in your life
28
so you never feel totally alone, even in the most stressful times.
29
If you don’t, your actions might still lead to success, but the only
30
one celebrating and toasting you will be . . . you.
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Vision Quest
143
1
ACTION CHECK
2
Questions for Self-Reflection
3
On a scale from 1 to 10, how are your current actions directly related to
4
your vision?
5 6
On a scale from 1 to 10, how are your current actions fostering your
7
passion?
8
On a scale from 1 to 10, how are your current actions bringing you
9
joy and connecting you to those you care about? If your answers are low or you feel a sense of stress or doubt when
10
you act, take some time to assess why. Double-check that it’s what is
11
right for you and what you want. You may need to go back to your vi-
12
sion and make sure it is what you truly desire and are passionate about
13
before moving forward. Often, our visions are things others want or ex-
14
pect from us, but those visions aren’t what we truly desire or they are
15
driving us away from the people we care about most.
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
13
2 3 4 5
Fear of Flying
6 7 8 9 10
O
11 nyema lived in a poor Nigerian village with her grand-
12
mother because her mother had to work in a neighboring
13
village. When she was six, she saw a plane flying overhead for the
14
first time, and was so awestruck that as she soon as she discov-
15
ered what it was, she vowed to be a pilot. This seemed impossible
16
to those around her.
17
Onyema refused to give in to the seeming impossibility of her
18
vision. Her passion drove her to keep going and do well in school
19
in addition to all the other work she had to do in the village. When
20
she was the equivalent of a high school senior, she took a 12-
21
hour bus ride to the capital and found an Internet café where she
22
planned to apply to the University of Alabama for a place in its
23
aerospace course. However, the application cost money, and she
24
didn’t have any. That’s when some locals, hearing her story, gave
25
her the money for her application. Onyema was soon accepted.
26
The following school year, Onyema left her village and flew
27
to Atlanta. When she got to Atlanta, she had a new problem: she
28
hadn’t realized she needed another flight to Tuscaloosa, and she
29 30
145
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146 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
again didn’t have the funds to pay for her flight. So she found a lo-
2
cal Nigerian couple in Atlanta who were willing to help. They gave
3
her a place to stay for the night and later made church collections
4
for her tuition and even gave her a car. Onyema made it to the Uni-
5
versity of Alabama that fall, but even with the help she had been
6
given, she couldn’t afford to stay the full four years. In the end, she
7
attended several schools, often doing one semester at a time be-
8
cause she didn’t have the funds to pay for a full year’s tuition.
9
Today Onyema is an aerospace engineer and has started a
10
charity to encourage African women to explore STEM studies.
11
She has spoken alongside the Nigerian minister for education
12
and other senior officials in her home country.
13
Onyema’s story is beyond inspiring. She is the perfect exam-
14
ple of the importance of taking it one step at a time and using
15
your passion to push through to achieve your vision. Can you
16
imagine the fear and doubt she had to overcome to execute her
17
vision, especially one that seemed so far-fetched to everyone she
18
had grown up with?
19
Sometimes you know your vision, feel deeply connected to
20
your passion, devise an action plan designed to accomplish your
21
goals, write each step down, assign a timeline, ensure that ac-
22
countability is built in, and . . . still don’t manage to take action.
23
We’ve all been there before: when fear and doubt get in the way
24
of action and making decisions that lead to successful execution.
25
Hey, the actions you take can be life changing, and the pros-
26
pect of executing something big and far-reaching can be daunt-
27
ing. It’s okay to be afraid that you will fail just as it is okay to fail
28
fast, learn, and move on.
29 30
Onyema has been there. I’ve been there, but like us, you cannot let fear stop you from acting and executing.
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Fear of Flying
147
Successful Executors Feel the Fear and Act Anyway
1 2 3
While Onyema’s dream was to be a pilot, I’m the opposite. I have
4
an enormous fear of flying. Whenever I’m on a plane, I’m over-
5
come with palm-sweating, white-knuckle fear. But that doesn’t
6
stop me from getting on a plane nearly every week and traveling
7
the world for both business and pleasure. Yes, statistically I know
8
I am more likely to die from a car crash then a plane crash, but
9
fear isn’t necessarily rational.
10
I just never let my fear—or any fears, doubts, or other obstacles—
11
stop me from taking action to achieve my goals, and I am not go-
12
ing to start by refusing to get on a plane.
13
The fact is that human beings, like other animals, were orig-
14
inally designed to survive by avoiding dangerous situations.
15
Our brains are wired to look for “the negative” and avoid it. That’s
16
why even in business today, if we sense a threat—something that
17
makes us scared, something risky, or even just something
18
uncomfortable—we become overcautious because we think our
19
survival depends on it. So we play it safe. We make comfortable
20
choices even though most of us know the magic happens when
21
we get out of our comfort zones.
22
Simply put, we overvalue fear. As a result, we can easily get
23
carried away with our worst fears and let them influence our
24
thoughts and actions.
25
This is why we must learn to manage our emotions so that
26
we recognize and acknowledge them but don’t overvalue them
27
and give them too much power. But this also means we need to
28
develop a mindset that is an antidote to fear and stress. This is
29
where keeping constantly connected to your vision is so critical.
30
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148 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
It will help protect you from being overwhelmed by stress, from
2
overvaluing it and allowing it to change your thought process.
3
Moreover, passion and motivation are connected in the brain
4
and are mediated by the same neurotransmitter: dopamine. You
5
can think of dopamine as the high-grade fuel needed for the long
6
journey ahead.
7
Instead of feeling the fear, taking it in, and turning it into ac-
8
tion to power us through, most of us let fear overwhelm us in-
9
stead. I refuse to let fear overinfluence me, and so must you. If I
10
did, I wouldn’t get out of bed. I’d pull up the sheets and hide.
11 12
Don’t let fear, doubt, or uncertainty
13
stop you from taking action.
14 15 16
I have learned to deal with my fears—embrace and manage
17
them as I execute, and so must you. Resolve to control them and
18
not let them control you. Remember: Emotional mastery is es-
19
sential to successful action because we feel emotions only in the
20
present. Your worst fears are not certainties, just overvalued anx-
21
ieties. They are connected to the present, not the future. Fear can
22
prevent us from taking the next step. It is about how you feel you
23
are going to feel. Anticipation of a plane crash is not forecasting a
24
crash. It is about how you feel getting on that plane. You are feel-
25
ing the worry about it now, not what will happen—any facts you
26
are dealing with are actually just probabilities, not certainties.
27
Negative feelings—or even positive ones like love and trust—
28
can distort everything with extreme lows and highs. Don’t let
29
them overwhelm you. Take them in and master them. That goes
30
for doubt too.
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Fear of Flying
149
Don’t Doubt Yourself
1 2
Doubt is trickier than fear to master because it sounds much
3
more rational. And that’s exactly what it is, a rationalization:
4 5
The time is not right.
6
I don’t have all the information I need.
7
It’s going to take a lot of effort.
8
I don’t know whether I will succeed.
9
Those are just some of the ways doubt gives you permission
10
to play it safe or not take action. To avoid getting trapped, the
11
first step is to stop measuring everything by success or failure.
12
No one wins all the time. Only the best hitters in baseball bat
13
more than .333, which means few get a hit in more than one-
14
third of those at bats. The biggest home run hitters usually bat
15
much lower. The last one to hit more than .400 was Ted Williams
16
in 1941. The point isn’t how often you fail or succeed but that
17
when given the most important opportunities to act, you execute
18
and take another step toward success.
19
So here’s my question for you: Are you ready to take that step?
20
That’s a trick question. Of course, you’re ready! If you are in
21 22
action, then you’re ready:
23 ●●
●●
●●
1260128520_perell_final.indb 149
Don’t wait. Push aside your fears. Trust yourself and your
24
instincts.
25
Don’t think you have to start small or even big. Everyone
26
has to start somewhere.
27
Don’t wait for the perfect conditions. Conditions and
28
timing will never be perfect. It’s about progress before
29
perfection.
30
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150 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
This is where keeping constantly connected to your vision is
2
so critical. As we covered in the section on passion, emotions are
3
essential to executing our visions because they drive the stories
4
we tell ourselves and seriously influence our thoughts and thus
5
actions. Most of the time these thoughts are driven by the need
6
for emotional comfort and consistency. This means in times of
7
stress, we will distort the narrative, often leading to an unwar-
8
ranted change of direction—a step away from what we fear or
9
doubt will work.
10
Remember: Successful executors take action. They know
11
there is no wrong first step. The same grandfather who told me
12
to make hay when the sun is shining also told me, “A path leads to
13
a path,” and I have almost always found that to be true. Even if
14
that path leads me to what won’t work, I’m still a step closer to
15
what will. Acting with total uncertainty or complete lack of plan-
16
ning is very different from not trusting yourself.
17
I have learned not to doubt myself or hesitate when faced
18
with a degree of risk and uncertainty, especially if the action is
19
deeply aligned with my vision and passion. That means I’m will-
20
ing to suffer for it, which is what I was doing the day I delivered
21
my first speech on execution. I gave up my family time, refused
22
to let the 10-day work trip that started the next day be an ex-
23
cuse for not accepting the invitation, and got on a plane (which,
24
as you now know, I hate). And while I might have checked in
25
with myself before I went on stage, I never doubted that my ac-
26
tions would deliver. You don’t fake it ’til you make it. You do it
27
and make it real! I refused to worry about aiming too much be-
28
fore I fired.
29 30
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151
1
Progress before perfection.
2 3 4
Actually, I want you to stop thinking in those terms: ready,
5
aim, and fire. There is no ready. There is no aim. There is no
6
fire. It’s all part of action, and they all happen at once. Because
7
most people have several actions—personal and professional—
8
happening at once. Nothing will ever be perfect, and you can’t
9
expect it to be. There was always a chance I would bomb that
10
day, fail to connect with the audience, forget my words, or have
11
my jokes fall flat. There is always a risk of failure. If there isn’t,
12
you’re not aiming high enough. I simply refused to make the risks
13
bigger than they were.
14
Was it the right opportunity for my vision for my execution
15
platform? Worth my time? Right audience? Yes, yes, and yes.
16
Why else would I leave my family and take time I didn’t really
17
have out of my weekend? When offered an incredible opportu-
18
nity to further my goals, I acted—just as I had when I cut short
19
our 10-year anniversary trip to stop in Singapore to begin the sale
20
of my business. This was too big a moment to pass on. I wanted
21
nothing more than to seize this opportunity to help people.
22
If my fellow speakers knew more about me and the way I ex-
23
ecute, they might not have blanched at my seeming lack of prepa-
24
ration and readiness. Because I wasn’t just ready. I was prepared
25
for my debut on stage. I have learned to surround myself with
26
people who can help make my actions successful. The few run-
27
throughs I had done were in front of people I trusted to give me
28
unfiltered feedback to make my points stronger and the content
29 30
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152 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
more organized. My slides were professional, and I had interac-
2
tive handouts for the whole audience. In other words, my passion
3
for the topic didn’t make me irrational, and leading with action
4
didn’t make me reckless.
5
People who lead with action always know there is no time to
6
get stuck in analysis paralysis. In this context, action isn’t always
7
about a grand strategy or a clear, step-by-step plan. I’m not dis-
8
counting the importance of strategy and planning. I just know
9
how easy it is to get stuck spending your time and energy plan-
10
ning rather than doing. No time for doubt or fear—for playing it
11
safe and staying in my comfort zone.
12
So many ideas and businesses fail to act and execute because
13
they wait for the “perfect time” to act and they try to time the
14
market. Which no one can really do. There’s never a perfect time.
15
Bad timing can kill a great idea, but no one can completely con-
16
trol that—or even prevent it. The dot-com company I worked for
17
in 1999 was like Dropbox. The vision was right, but the timing
18
was wrong. That happens sometimes. Your steps might not lead
19
where you hoped, and it’s probably going to take more effort,
20
time, and money than you expected. But you can’t let that stop
21
you from taking action. You have little chance of success and
22
finding the path that leads to a path if you don’t move.
23
You have even less if you doubt your potential and the po-
24
tential of others to act. There is so much untapped and unknown
25
potential out there—people who underestimate their capabili-
26
ties. And this goes for the solo entrepreneur to the top of any or-
27
ganization. Doubt, like problems, is often just about scale. The
28
problems you have as a startup and a $10 million company will
29
often be the same problems you have as a $100 million company,
30
just bigger.
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Fear of Flying
153
1
No one knows everything about what they
2
are doing when they act, and those who say
3
they do are either delusional or arrogant.
4 5 6
Why do we think we should always be right? That we must
7
have all the answers? Because too many of us have been taught
8
that makes us strong. No. I’m always ready to admit I do not have
9
all the answers, and I consider other perspectives. That’s not doubt.
10
That’s power.
11
Opening myself up to other people’s perspectives lowers my
12
resistance to change and helps me deal with the uncertainty that
13
could prevent me from doing many things. It sets me up for resil-
14
ience. I won’t let doubt stop me because I know it is an exagger-
15
ated, and on many occasions irrational, reaction. Just as I treat
16
fear, I don’t let doubt get the better of me and prevent me from
17
taking the actions I need to take.
18
Yet that’s about me: sheer willpower and emotional mastery
19
get me through most of my fear, doubt, and uncertainty. Here are
20
six other techniques for taking action that have helped me act
21
when I was faced with those emotions:
22 23
Six Techniques for Taking Action
24
1. Follow the 40-70 Rule.
25
2. Consider the worst-case scenario.
26
3. Find out what is missing.
27
4. Assess the risk of inaction.
28
5. Avoid the “when . . . then” trap.
29
6. Identify the best thing that could happen.
30
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154 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
1. Follow the 40-70 Rule
2
One of the most common ways people get stuck in fear and doubt
3
is focusing on their need for certainty. How to remedy this? I like
4
General Colin Powell’s “40-70 Rule.” The essence of the rule is
5
this: collect 40 to 70 percent of available facts and data, then go
6
with your gut. Don’t wait until you have enough facts to be 100
7
percent sure, or you’ll be too late.
8
I’ve seen many companies fail because, unfortunately, they
9
wanted that 100 percent certainty. That’s not only fear of uncer-
10
tainty talking but also wanting certainty in a world that is any-
11
thing but certain. That’s when the marketplace leaves you and
12
your business behind. This is why you must execute faster than
13
ever. Companies on the S&P 500 Index 50 years ago stayed on
14
the index an average of 33 years. By 2026, that number is ex-
15
pected to be just 14 years.1 There is always new competition or
16
a killer app or innovation or a change in the market. There are
17
new customers whom you have never served, new global partners
18
that you can’t understand, new generations you need to commu-
19
nicate with, and new ways of doing business that you don’t learn
20
in business school.
21
For example, early in my career, I invested in three similar
22
companies at once because I believed their ideas were right for
23
the market. I just did not know which one would execute bet-
24
ter. Most people would not take that investment thesis, but I was
25
only 40 percent certain, so I covered all my bets. In the end, one
26
company went under and one was sold, which was a wash, but
27
one is still going strong today. A decade later, faced with the same
28
opportunity and knowing what I know now, I’d like to think
29
I could get to 70 percent certainty in the same amount of time
30
and just invest in two of the companies. But I wouldn’t wait for
1260128520_perell_final.indb 154
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Fear of Flying
155
absolute certainty to invest in just one because the valuation
1
would have certainly gone up by the time I was able to make the
2
decision.
3 4
2. Consider the Worst-Case Scenario
5
When I was about to buy my first house, I was worried that I
6
couldn’t afford it. My dad asked me, “What’s the worst thing that
7
could happen?” I thought about it. The worst thing that could
8
happen was that I would have to give it back to the bank. “Can
9
you handle that?” my dad asked. I could. I was willing to bet on
10
myself and act even when thinking about the worst thing that
11
could happen by taking that action.
12
If you can handle the worst-case scenario, then you know
13
you can probably handle anything else in between. Remember:
14
Your confidence in you (and your team) needs to be greater than
15
anyone else’s doubt—especially your own. It’s a bet that you’ll
16
deliver on the promise of what you are doing.
17 18
3. Find out What Is Missing
19
Fear or doubt might be in the way, but there is often some-
20
thing missing that is not letting us feel “safe” taking action. Do
21
you need to assess the pros and cons of the action? Write them
22
down.
23
Do you need a clearer picture of how you are going to take
24
your first step? Get that clarity from someone who has done it
25
before. Are you someone who needs to know the next step before
26
taking the first? Do you have a Plan B? Map them out. I know
27
what I have needed was unconditional encouragement from my
28
husband and family that if I failed, they’d be there to pick me up.
29
What do you need to take action?
30
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156 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
4. Assess the Risk of Inaction
2
Sometimes the risk of not taking action is actually greater than
3
the risk of moving forward. Take a look at the risks or issues
4
if you don’t take the first and next steps. What would happen?
5
What would the outcome look like 3, 6, or 12 months from now?
6
Are they greater than the risk associated with taking it? Are you
7
making those risks much worse than they actually are?
8
It’s usually better to rock the boat than to die sinking in it—
9
or watch someone else seize the day. If you don’t see the competi-
10
tion in front of you, that means everyone is chasing you.
11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
5. Avoid the When . . . Then Trap When I have enough money, then I can start my own business. When I have more experience, then I’ll go out on my own. When I get this next training, then I’ll get started. When I get my website up, then I’ll go get clients. When I have all the data, then I’ll make a decision.
21
You know what these “when . . . then” statements usually mean
22
for action? Inaction. Someone once told me, “One day or some-
23
day is not a real day, like Monday or Tuesday.” It’s all a trap for
24
inaction—for playing it safe and getting distracted by thinking
25
too long about things too far ahead.
26
It’s too easy to wait for all the data to take that first step. Ac-
27
tion is just like exercise: The first step is to move. Get out of your
28
head, and act to execute your vision. Thinking about the things
29
that might happen is essential for adaptation and anticipation, but
30
too much leads to analysis paralysis. There are always exceptions
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Fear of Flying
157
to the rule, but you can’t play for the exceptions (or contingen-
1
cies or possibilities). You can just prepare for them. If you keep
2
playing for the exceptions—just as if you always planned for the
3
future without taking care to grow in the present—you will never
4
play for the realities. When you think about all the possibilities,
5
you actually end up putting off action.
6 7
6. Identify the Best Thing That Could Happen
8
There are lots of things that could happen, and we can’t always
9
stop thinking about them. I need to remind my team of this some-
10
times: There is always going to be risk. There’s always going to
11
be something that might happen. Why not think about the great
12
things that could happen if you take action? What are the possi-
13
bilities? What doors would open? At times, that risk might be too
14
great, but when there’s no risk, there’s usually little opportunity
15
for growth. You execute, but you get a lower return or results.
16
That’s thinking and acting too small.
17
We should be thinking about what the opportunities are and
18
act. That’s how I grew my business to where it is today: by never
19
being afraid to take that first step.
20 21
The best things happen when you do.
22 ACTION CHECK
23
Questions for Self-Reflection
24
Consider a time in the past when you had fear or doubt but you took
26
action anyway.
27
25
How did you feel?
28
What was the outcome?
29
How can you use that feeling now?
30
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158 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2
Consider a time in the past when you had fear or doubt but you failed to act.
3
What stopped you and why?
4
Is this what usually gets in the way of your taking action? Is that
5 6
what’s stopping you right now from taking action? How could you move past this uncertainty?
7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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Ac tion—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
159
1 2
Action—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
3 4 5
AC T I O N: RE FLE C T I O NS A N D M OV I N G F O R WA R D ●●
6
Action is the linchpin for the five traits of execution. It’s the
7
trait around which all the others revolve. ●●
8
Action reminds you to check your vision and fulfill your
9
passion. ●●
10
Action creates more opportunities—not just for growth but
11
to be strong and resilient and to form relationships so that
12
you can scale your execution. ●●
There’s no substitute for taking action.
●●
Sure, you can always find reasons to wait, delay, and avoid,
13 14 15
but you’re wasting time and energy. Remember that until
16
you act, all your analyses and projections are approximations
17
and guesswork. You don’t know what will happen until
18
you start. ●●
19
As human beings, we tend to err on the side of caution, and
20
we overvalue fear and doubt. It is essential that you do not let
21
these biases—and they are biases—stop you from taking the
22
first and next steps. ●●
23
Learn how to put the doubts and fears and uncertainty to
24
one side, address them head-on, or keep them in perspective
25
and act anyway. ●●
26
Always make sure that your action steps are aligned with
27
your vision and capture your passion and emotional
28
commitment—to yourself and those you care about. When
29 30
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160 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2
they are aligned, they will be more meaningful, compel-
3
ling you to take action and ensuring that you appreciate the
4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27
value of every step. ●●
All that will be extremely important, especially managing emotions, as you develop the traits of resilience and create relationships and gain a balanced perspective on action and execution.
BE FO RE YO U G O: WHAT ’S T H E S C EN A R I O? This scenario is designed to help you think about everything you have learned in this section. Please take a few minutes to complete this exercise as best you can. I promise it will be worth it. If you get stuck or are not sure about your answer, go back and review the section. Remember, there is no right or wrong answer here. This is just a way of applying your new knowledge on action. Often it is easier to give advice to someone else, when you’re not wrapped up in your own world, full of all its complexities. A highly successful executive wants to leave her job and start her own business. She’s excited because she feels this new venture will be great for her and her family, and it will give her the opportunity to make a real difference. But she’s scared and doesn’t know where to start. What step would you advise her to take first? How would you advise her to act?
28 29 30
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1 2
T R A I T
3
4
4 5
RESILIENCE
6
Dealing with Obstacles, Change, and Uncertainty
9
7 8 10
Genius is 1 percent inspiration and
11
99 percent perspiration.
12
—THOMAS EDISON
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
14
2 3 4 5
Life Rarely Goes as Planned
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
T
13 he day our twins came was the best and worst day of my life.
14
I had always dreamed of having a large family. My fa-
15
ther’s parents were married over 60 years, had five boys, 16
16
grandkids, and 28 great-grandkids. My childhood was filled
17
with family reunions at which each family would wear color-
18
coded polo shirts, ours in a bright blue. We looked like a box of
19
crayons—one my husband and I wanted to add our color to.
20
We had been together for over a decade when I sold my first
21
company in 2008. It was then that having a family became the
22
new North Star for the life I wanted. We were young, healthy, and
23
happy. Our families had no history of infertility. We followed all
24
the advice for emotionally and physically preparing to get preg-
25
nant. Neither of us thought for a moment we would run into any
26
problems.
27
Until we did.
28
When I initially failed to get pregnant, we knew starting our
29
family wouldn’t be as simple as we had hoped. But we kept trying.
30
163
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164 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Time crept by at a painful pace. Weeks became months and
2
months became years. After countless visits to doctors, we had
3
no explanation. We were devastated, but quickly came to terms
4
with the fact that our journey to parenthood—like any suc-
5
cessful journey—was going to be more difficult than most. We
6
would not be deterred by some inconclusive tests in our quest for
7
a bigger family.
8
We decided to try in vitro fertilization (IVF), which included
9
blood tests, ultrasounds, daily shots, and surgery. Most women
10
have few complications from these procedures, so I assumed I
11
wouldn’t be much different. I had my egg retrieval surgery on a
12
Monday morning, and with my doctor’s permission I boarded
13
a plane to Aspen Tuesday afternoon to attend my company’s an-
14
nual executive off-site meeting.
15
I was feeling a little fatigued when I left my house, but I was
16
sure it was just a result of the hormone drugs. I was wrong. Over
17
the next 48 hours, liters of fluid filled and distended my abdo-
18
men. I couldn’t eat anything, and I soon became violently ill. I
19
had never been so sick or terrified in my life. I called my hus-
20
band and told him I would get on the next plane back to San Di-
21
ego, which connected through Los Angeles. But by the time I got
22
to LAX, the pain was so disorienting I couldn’t think straight, let
23
alone wait hours for another flight. I was really hurting, and I just
24
needed to get home, so I took a taxi back to San Diego, passed
25
out in the backseat.
26
When I arrived home, I could barely speak or move. My
27
husband immediately rushed me to the emergency room. The
28
hospital quickly determined I was suffering from ovarian hy-
29
perstimulation syndrome. It’s caused by fertility drugs, and most
30
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Life Rarely Goes as Planned
165
cases are mild. Mine was severe, and if it had been left untreated
1
for much longer, it could have killed me. I was immediately
2
checked into an operating room where a tap drained the fluid
3
from my abdomen. After a couple of days of bed rest and fluids,
4
I regained my energy and optimism. The doctors said there was
5
no reason I could not continue to try IVF with closer monitor-
6
ing. I was more committed than ever to ensure I did everything I
7
could to turn my vision of having a family with my husband into
8
a beautiful reality.
9
We spent the next two years doing the IVF procedures, all
10
with no success. After sharing our story with a close friend, he
11
mentioned that he knew someone who had a surrogate carry
12
their twins. Wait, surrogate? Of course I had heard of surrogacy,
13
but I didn’t know anything about the clinical details. When I had
14
dreamed about my journey of becoming a mother, I had always
15
assumed I would be the one to carry my own child. But we had
16
already gone through so much pain and disappointment. Sur-
17
rogacy offered us a different direction—a new opportunity. We
18
spent the next year with lawyers, physiatrists, and potential sur-
19
rogates until we finally found the perfect match: Jennifer. She
20
lived in San Diego, and we could attend all of her doctors’ ap-
21
pointments and be there for the delivery.
22
Surrogacy was not the pregnancy I had imagined on our jour-
23
ney to parenthood, but the end result would be the same: a family
24
of our own. When we got the amazing news we were having twins,
25
we were over the moon! But given the roller coaster we had been
26
on, my husband and I agreed to wait until well into the second tri-
27
mester to share the news outside our immediate family. And that
28
was fine because I had plenty going on to occupy my mind.
29 30
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166 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
During Jennifer’s (and my) pregnancy, my deal with the Sin-
2
gaporean company I was trying to sell to heated up. We went
3
into full-blown due diligence—a very time-consuming process
4
that can go for months on end. Meetings with lawyers and bank-
5
ers consumed almost the entirety of my days and nights. But I
6
had the note with my vision to sell my company on my bath-
7
room mirror to keep me going. And now there was a perfect and
8
much anticipated addition: the ultrasound picture of our two lit-
9
tle ones. I had it with me at all times to remind myself that the
10
sleepless nights were worth it.
11
If all went as I had imagined, I would have plenty of time to en-
12
joy and commit to both momentous events. The target closing date
13
for the deal was April. The twins weren’t expected until August.
14
Nothing went as planned.
15
A sudden infection forced our surrogate into the hospital
16
at 20 weeks, bedridden. The infection got worse over the next
17
month, and the doctors were forced to deliver our twins at 24
18
weeks—three and a half months before their due date. I never got
19
to hold my babies or even touch them after they were born. Both
20
weighed only a pound and were immediately whisked away to
21
neonatal intensive care unit. My son had a staph infection and
22
brain bleed, and my daughter needed open-heart surgery.
23
I had been relentlessly tough in the face of so many setbacks
24
and obstacles in my life, but nothing had prepared me for this
25
nightmare. Neither my husband nor I had ever seen anything
26
worse or heard anything more awful than our doctors telling us
27
in the kindest way possible that there was a good chance one or
28
both of our babies wouldn’t survive. Even if they did make it,
29
they were so underdeveloped they could be disabled for life. It’s
30
hard to describe in words. We felt . . . immobile.
1260128520_perell_final.indb 166
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Life Rarely Goes as Planned
167
The first time we touched our children was through the hand
1
holes of an incubator in the NICU. Their tiny hands were barely
2
big or strong enough to wrap around our fingers. No one should
3
ever have to see tubes and wires running from their babies’ frag-
4
ile bodies to screens and machines. No one should ever see their
5
children attached to machines keeping them alive, feeding them,
6
monitoring their vital signs, giving them oxygen . . . you don’t
7
want to think about losing them. Even when every doctor has
8
told you the worst-case scenario is “more than possible,” you
9
can’t give up hope.
10
There wasn’t a single day in the 14 weeks that I didn’t fear
11
one or both of my twins was going to die. There were days I
12
didn’t want to get out of bed, let alone go to work, but I had no
13
choice. I had two little babies who needed me as they fought for
14
their lives, and hundreds of employees and their families count-
15
ing on me to close the biggest deal of my life with a company
16
halfway around the world.
17
While my husband and I never dismissed the possibility of
18
the worst-case scenario, we refused to focus on it. Even with
19
all the stress and uncertainty, we kept an overall positive outlook.
20
We never gave up. We persevered—for each other and them. We
21
had no choice but to be strong so they could feel our strength,
22
prayers, and love to overcome the odds.
23
We hid our pain from the world. Outside of our immedi-
24
ate family, no one still had any idea of the pain we were going
25
through. No one saw my broken heart at work. No one heard
26
about the countless nights I cried myself to sleep. Or the dras-
27
tic ups and downs I experienced during the daily health updates.
28
The same was true about my deal. As my children fought for
29
their lives, the deal had dragged, and we had missed our April
30
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168 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
closing date. We were now well into May, jeopardizing the vision
2
I had on the note taped to my bathroom mirror. But I wouldn’t
3
let my team feel the constant and crushing pressure I was under
4
to close the deal and get back to the hospital to be with my chil-
5
dren. I had to be strong.
6
Over the following months, my visions became reality: the
7
deal closed, and our twins’ health stabilized. They were fighters.
8
When we were finally able to bring them home from the hospi-
9
tal, we threw a surprise party to introduce them to our friends.
10
I’m sure you can imagine their reaction: “What? You have twins?
11
How could you have not told anyone?”
12
The truth was, our experience was too painful to share with
13
more than the few people we needed to get us through. I have
14
never felt so vulnerable. Those days challenged my faith and opti-
15
mism to a near paralyzing degree. So much so that it hurts to talk
16
(and write) about it today. But I now realize our twins showed us
17
true resilience and brought it out in us. They helped us surmount
18
the insurmountable. Reminded us to find strength when we were
19
powerless and helpless. To persevere when the odds said that fail-
20
ing was more than an option. To believe in the possibilities when
21
uncertainty was all we had.
22 23
Often the only thing certain
24
in life is uncertainty.
25 26 27
The truth is that few of us will face moments like ours with
28
the birth of our twins. We haven’t since. Most tests of my re-
29
silience have looked more like the time when the first company
30
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169
I worked for went bankrupt. Not literal life-and-death circum-
1
stances, just life not going as planned when you try to execute.
2
The easy choice is always to give up. The path I chose when our
3
twins were born was to continue believing in the possibilities and
4
to have the emotional endurance to move forward despite the
5
pain and hardship.
6
This is what it means to master resilience. This is what you
7
need as you encounter your own obstacles, setbacks, and failures
8
in executing your vision.
9 10
RESILIENCE CHECK
11
Questions for Self-Reflection
12
What are the biggest obstacles standing in the way of your success and
14
executing your vision? Take some time to think about that before we
15
dive into the details of resilience and execution. Then think about you
16
and your strengths when it comes to resilience.
17
13
How do you typically feel when things don’t go according to plan
18
and you don’t get the results you had hoped for? For example, were
19
you feeling frustrated, guilty, energized, or stressed?
20 21
What do you typically do when things don’t go according to plan
22
and you don’t get the results you had hoped for?
23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
15
2 3 4 5
Bouncing Back After Setbacks
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
I
was at IKEA on a weekend in 2006 when I got the phone call
13
from my tech guy: our server had failed and could not be fixed.
14
We were operating on a bare-bones budget, and a backup server
15
was too expensive. Now our database was gone, the data unre-
16
coverable.
17
My heart dropped. I thought it was the end of my company.
18
That one server represented the entirety of the business. There
19
was no business without it. A small part of me thought about
20
folding—closing up shop, making excuses, forgetting this ever
21
happened, and getting out. I was in full panic mode as I searched
22
to find an exit from the never-ending IKEA maze of living and
23
dining rooms and floor samples of what things look like when
24
all the screws are in the right place, desperately trying to think of
25
what to do next for my collapsing company. This was a major er-
26
ror and oversight, and I took full responsibility as CEO.
27
First thing Monday, I risked embarrassment, yelling, and
28
worse. I personally reached out to our clients one by one to ex-
29
plain what had happened. I blamed no one but me, and asked for
30
171
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172 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
their patience and support while we got back up and running. I
2
promised to never make the same mistake again. I hoped that our
3
good work and relationships with them would give them confi-
4
dence that we would rebuild better than before and that we were
5
determined to do so. We had already bought a new server and a
6
backup, and we would work around the clock until we were up
7
and running.
8
Not a single advertising client deserted us that day or in the
9
weeks that it took to get our marketing platform running again. I
10
was transparent about the situation from the beginning, and I hon-
11
ored my promise of doing everything we could to fix it. I contacted
12
our clients and bared my soul. I explained our solution—to rebuild
13
and install a backup source—and asked if they would send me a
14
copy of the data I had lost. Even with a few new gray hairs and
15
more sleepless nights, I felt uplifted. I had not succumbed to the
16
temptation to hide any of the truth when faced with this setback or
17
play the blame game as I put the crisis behind us.
18
And I was better for it.
19
Something like my server crash happens to everyone who is
20
trying to achieve anything, and it will inevitably happen to you as
21
you execute on your vision. In executing in business and in life,
22
it’s rare that everything runs completely according to plan. Yet re-
23
search has shown that people are overly optimistic in their pre-
24
dictions about their ability to complete a task. It’s very common
25
to ignore or discount the fact that obstacles will arise, leading to
26
execution problems when the unexpected occurs, so:
27 28 29
●●
Remember what my grandfather told me. Everything takes twice as long, costs twice as much, and takes twice
30
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Bouncing Back After Se tbacks
●●
173
as much energy as you anticipate. You should expect
1
complications, delays, drama, rejection, and chaos on the
2
path to success— and prepare for all of that.
3
Remember the drawings of what success really looks like.
4
You must find a way forward through the ups and downs
5
even if it means throwing your plan away and making a
6
new one when the situation calls for it.
7 8
And if you fail? So what! At least you go down swinging.
9
When faced with defeat, the easiest thing to do is to quit or play
10
it safe the next time you execute. No! There’s a reason why the
11
classic hero’s journey involves overcoming obstacles to achieve a
12
goal. There is something noble and universal in meeting all chal-
13
lenges and rising above setbacks, obstacles, and failures. That
14
kind of success helps define you as a hero—to yourself as well as
15
others.
16
Not as a savior but a hero of execution.
17 18
RESILIENCE CHECK
19
Questions for Self-Reflection
20
How do you typically feel when things don’t go according to plan and
22
you don’t get the results you had hoped for (for example, frustrated,
23
guilty, energized, or stressed)?
24
21
What do you typically do when things don’t go according to plan
25
and you don’t get the results you had hoped for? Explain the strategies
26
behind those actions.
27 28
Think about the last time you faced failure, serious challenges, or a
29
major setback. How did you react? What did you learn?
30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
16
2 3 4 5
Fail Forward
6 7 8 9 10
A
11
ccording to an article published on Bloomberg.com, people
12
who have previously failed have doubled their chances of suc-
13
cess the next time around compared to first-time entrepreneurs.1
14
Failure—and accepting it—is part of success. I’m living proof.
15
Like many entrepreneurs, I encountered failures like my
16
server breakdown early in my career. You and your team will at-
17
tempt things that will fail, and you will need to adapt to change.
18
Understanding the inevitability and power of those failures has
19
been vital to executing in my own career and fundamental to
20
building a company in a growing and dynamic market. In fact, I
21
believe if failure doesn’t happen to you—if you’re not failing and
22
bouncing back constantly—you’re not trying hard enough! I still
23
fail all the time. Really! Failure just has a different scale and feel
24
to me today.
25
Resilient people “fail forward” and thrive in the process of
26
change. Knock them down 9 times and they’ll get up 10 times.
27
Not only will they get up but they’ll get up stronger and wiser: ●●
28
Being resilient means anticipating change and adapting
29
accordingly. Resilience isn’t just about dealing with
30
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176 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
obstacles, crises, and setbacks. It’s about dealing with
2
them in constructive, creative ways.
3
●●
Being resilient means understanding that difficulties not
4
only are going to occur but also offer the best opportunities
5
for growth. No one loves to hit dead ends, but the resilient
6
among us know how to uncover possibilities while holding
7
on to their purpose, staying true to themselves, and believing
8
in themselves and their teams. This makes them inspiring and
9
calming individuals when situations are intense or chaotic.
10
●●
Being resilient means accepting that setbacks can be over-
11
whelming and can lead to uncomfortable emotions. Was
12
I embarrassed when I had to call all my clients when our
13
server crashed? I was mortified. But I moved forward
14
anyway and showed my team the way.
15 16
All of that is why resilience is a key factor for personal and
17
professional success when that line to the top gets really messy. In
18
a study sponsored by Nationwide and Vodafone, nearly 100 per-
19
cent of participants cited resilience as a factor in their success.2 It
20
works the other way too. An Accenture survey reported that 71
21
percent of executives valued resilience in employees when decid-
22
ing whom to hire and retain.3
23
Without resilience, we are at the mercy of the universe. We’re
24
left feeling battered by the unexpected, overcome with emotions,
25
and incapable of making decisions. Yet adding an ounce or two
26
of fortitude and self-determination to our lifestyle flips the script.
27
Suddenly, we can fail and come back stronger. We can accept
28
life’s uncomfortable, even tragic lessons and use them as step-
29
ping stones. We see this every day in the way our people and our
30
world respond to national tragedies and natural disasters when
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Fail Forward
177
we pull together to help others and be our resilient best and find
1
a way forward.
2
Doing that requires focusing on these key areas that are es-
3
sential to resilience and execution: ●●
4 5
Developing a growth mindset: This is the cognitive ability
6
to perceive things differently. ●●
7
Developing a growth heartset: This is the emotional en-
8
durance to keep going so that creativity, adaptation, and
9
innovation can thrive even in the face of failure and you
10
still have the courage and will to keep going. ●●
11
Practicing how to be resilient: Because like any muscle in
12
your body, you build and develop it through exercise.
13
Just remember as we move forward in this section, if you lead
14
with resilience, your biggest weakness can be the overuse of your
15
strength.
16 17
You Might Never Give Up, Even When You Should
18
Not all circumstances have good outcomes or possibilities. There
21
are true dead ends, mistakes that you cannot fully recover from,
22
and times you must move in a different direction than you ini-
23
tially expected. Make sure you know when to let go.
24
19 20
25
You Might Stop Seeing Opportunities, Even When You Shouldn’t
26
Resilient people course correct easily, but they can get caught up
29
in their passion and action when executing a solution. Don’t get
30
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178 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
too focused on what you’re doing and thus miss a different di-
2
rection and bigger opportunities. Make sure you know when to
3
move on.
4 5 6 7
You Might See Too Many Possibilities When You Really Need to Focus
8 9
Resilient people thrive in chaos and have a natural instinct to
10
pivot. But don’t pivot so fast that you fail to see an idea all the
11
way through. Fight the boredom to always change. Be resilient,
12
be adaptive, and be creative, but don’t course correct to oblivion.
13
Make sure you know when to stay the course.
14
· · ·
15 16
OK, ready? Let’s get going and build your resilience so you can
17
keep moving forward. Learning to overcome challenges, obsta-
18
cles, setbacks, and failures that come your way will lead to your
19
greatest opportunities for adaptation, learning, and growth.
20 21
RESILIENCE CHECK
22
Questions for Self-Reflection
23 24
For one day, challenge your thinking. Be the devil’s advocate. Think dif-
25
ferently. Take the opposite view and make a case for alternative posi-
26
tions. Then take a step back.
27
What did you learn from this exercise?
28
What will you now do differently as a result?
29 30
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1
17
2 3 4 5
Minds and Hearts
6 7 8 9
B
10 eing 23 and having to lay off my colleagues, some of whom
11
were my dearest friends, only to be let go myself was one of
12
the most challenging times in my life. It didn’t matter that I knew I
13
had done the best I could and controlled everything that was pos-
14
sible to control. Ultimately, none of us had jobs, and I’d let people
15
down. I felt like a failure. The emotional weight was heavy.
16
As I saw it, I had two options. I could get swept up in my sad-
17
ness, be depressed, and ruminate about what we could have done
18
differently. Or I could find a way to move forward. I had tried to
19
do that before the bubble burst by finding new revenue streams.
20
When that failed, I resolved to build something that wouldn’t
21
have that same outcome, and started my first company.
22 23
In doing so, I took control of the two sides of resilience to ex-
24
ecute: mindset and heartset.
25
Mindset: Challenging the Status Quo
26
In Mindset, Carol Dweck’s classic book on the psychology of
28
success, she talks about the difference between a “fixed” and a
29
“growth” mindset. Someone with a fixed mindset believes in
30
27
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180 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
limitations and believes that change is painful and difficult.
2
Someone with a growth mindset recognizes that change is not
3
only possible but also a driver of creativity and success. In to-
4
day’s ever-changing world, adaptation is vital. So resilience is also
5
about having a mindset that allows for creativity and adaptation:
6
a growth mindset.
7
A growth mindset means that in every situation, there is an
8
opportunity to learn and see things differently. It involves al-
9
ways challenging the status quo and considering many possi-
10
ble avenues. It is the constant search beyond the obvious and an
11
open-mindedness to consider alternatives to every problem and
12
situation.
13
What if you challenged the status quo and saw everything be-
14
fore you as an opportunity? Even stumbling blocks would appear
15
to be steps up. That’s the mindset of entrepreneurs who know
16
that the five-year industry failure rate hovers at around 50 per-
17
cent, as evidenced by a Statistic Brain study.1 Does that stop this
18
resilient crowd? Not a chance!
19
To become resilient, you must be open to the same possibil-
20
ities, fostering growth. As you meet challenges, even those that
21
seem insurmountable, you must begin to consider them from new
22
and multiple perspectives. Give yourself a bird’s-eye view. Yester-
23
day’s failure can become tomorrow’s success if you take the right
24
path. Arianna Huffington had the doors to publishing slammed in
25
her face over and over when her second book was rejected more
26
than 30 times. Then she had the doors to elected office slammed
27
in her face when she lost her California gubernatorial bid. But
28
as the saying goes, those closed doors opened a window for a
29
new venture in 2005: HuffPost, today one of the most powerful
30
platforms in the world.
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Minds and Hearts
181
By being open-minded and developing a growth mindset that
1
is not fixed on the obvious, you can train yourself to see different
2
perspectives on any issue, which will allow you to formulate new
3
solutions to almost any problem. This will serve you well when
4
things don’t go according to plan. Conversely, having a growth
5
mindset will also serve you well when things are going well and
6
there is seemingly no reason to adapt or be resilient because no
7
changes are needed. In fact, when the only thing certain is uncer-
8
tainty, that’s when adaptability is crucial: when you don’t know
9
what you don’t know. That’s when you need your growth mind-
10
set to make you stronger.
11
Look at Jeff Bezos. Remember when Amazon was just a dis-
12
ruptive bookseller? Yet Bezos has done more than disrupt various
13
businesses to become the third largest retailer in the world. He
14
has fundamentally disrupted the way business is done. He cared
15
less about what Wall Street thought and more about investing to
16
grow the business into new areas like cloud computing.
17 18 19 20 21
Resilience Pulse Check
22
Take a situation you are experiencing right now that is a
23
problem or crisis. How could the concept of having a growth
24
mindset help you think differently and execute better?
25
Now, think of something that is going really well—
26
where you are succeeding. How could you use this con-
27
cept of a growth mindset to help you identify how it could
28
be even better?
29 30
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182 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
But just because you succeed with a growth mindset doesn’t
2
mean you can then leave your heart behind. A growth mindset
3
that allows you to learn from failure but have the courage to
4
keep moving in the face of failure requires a growth heartset. You
5
need a growth mindset if you’re going to be disruptive. You need
6
a growth heartset to stay human.
7 8
Heartset: Emotional Strength in the Face of Difficulties
9 10 11 12
Despite the risks I faced when I started my first company, I had
13
the mindset to seize the opportunity to act. But I needed my
14
heartset to be emotionally resilient as I set out to create some-
15
thing of my own. And that heartset was tested. Many times when
16
I was working to grow the company, I had to use my personal
17
savings and max out my credit cards to cover payroll. I even
18
worked without pay for an entire year because I knew deep in my
19
heart we would be successful.
20
Almost all entrepreneurs and leaders have a similar story of
21
how their heartset pulled them through the tough times. When
22
the music site Pandora faced corporate bankruptcy in 2001, its
23
founder Tim Westergren wouldn’t give up and still believed he
24
could make it. His heartset was so strong that 50 employees felt it
25
and agreed to work without pay until the company could escape
26
its fiscal hole. It took two years and dozens of heartfelt speeches
27
to pump up his people and keep them pushing forward to reach
28
that goal.
29
The team’s resilience in the face of failure paid off in the end.
30
Like Westergren himself, his people probably had to max out
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Minds and Hearts
183
their credit cards and put off paying bills. Who knows how many
1
of them crashed on a friend’s sofa for too long or lived with their
2
parents? But that’s what heartset does. It pushes you further than
3
you thought you could go when you believe and feel you are ex-
4
ecuting on something great—even when prudence says quit and
5
the emotional and fiscal stress is strong.
6
Westergren himself doesn’t advise entrepreneurs to do this
7
(and what he did is actually illegal in California, which he didn’t
8
realize at the time). Still I understand wanting to push past that
9
emotional stress. Since those early days of my company and de-
10
spite being secure in my vision, I still go through emotional stress
11
all the time. It’s a daily event. It would destroy me if I let it. I need
12
my heartset to stay positive, even in the face of problems and cri-
13
ses that affect the growth of the company.
14
Heartset is the ability to find emotional strength in the face
15
of difficulties—the feelings that keep our growth mindset from
16
being too cold, too mean, and too lacking in kindness or even
17
humanity.
18
Consider this lesson from Elon Musk. Before he was a bil-
19
lionaire inventor and entrepreneur, Elon Musk failed many times.
20
In 1996, he was kicked out of the company he had founded with
21
his brother. After that, his first iteration of PayPal was identi-
22
fied as a terrible business idea. His Tesla vehicles have come un-
23
der scrutiny, while several of his SpaceX rocket launches have
24
exploded. But through all this, Musk has been determined to
25
succeed. After each of his failures, he has dusted himself off and
26
looked to the future for growth, and has found success, including
27
successful rocket launches in 2018.
28
That’s what the people and organizations who invest in
29
his success expect him to do: execute in spite of any failures or
30
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184 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
setbacks. In fact, despite those explosions and before the recent
2
rockets that made it into space, SpaceX signed an agreement with
3
NASA—the first deal of its kind made with a private citizen.
4
Musk is now worth more than $20 billion, and his products
5
are known all over the world. But I never knew the depth of his
6
heartset until he showed his heart to the people who work for
7
him. In 2017, an e-mail he wrote to the team at Tesla was posted
8
online. Musk wrote it after he learned about the high rate of inju-
9
ries being reported at his Freemont, California, plant. He said he
10
would personally get involved on the line to encourage transpar-
11
ency in reporting. He even told the team that he would perform
12
the same tasks as the people who were getting injured:
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23
Going forward, I’ve asked that every injury be reported directly to me, without exception. I’m meeting with the safety team every week and would like to meet every injured person as soon as they are well, so that I can understand from them exactly what we need to do to make it better. I will then go down to the production line and perform the same task that they perform. This is what all managers at Tesla should do as a matter of course. At Tesla, we lead from the front line, not from some safe and comfortable ivory tower.2
24
Sure, paying attention to workers has a long connection to
25
worker productivity, but fidelity to those workers does not. So
26
many leaders talk about creating connected and collaborative
27
work environments, but those environments turn out to be toxic
28
for the workers and fall apart when the bottom line stops growing,
29
problems surface, or accusations of corruption, discrimination,
30
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Minds and Hearts
185
and harassment arise. These leaders and their organizations
1
lack heartset and thus resilience. An e-mail from those leaders
2
in Musk’s position might be scoffed at as “too little too late”
3
and a publicity ploy. Musk’s words weren’t met with skepticism
4
because he already had created a culture of resiliency that had
5
heartset.
6
Musk’s e-mail is a lesson on how essential it is to stay con-
7
nected top to bottom so that when your resiliency is tested, your
8
people already know that you care about what it is before you
9
step foot on that line. His heartset made his people feel his pas-
10
sion for what Tesla was doing and fight through the problems.
11
He channeled his heartset into a problem and turned an ab-
12
solute negative into a chance for something positive.
13
Here’s what I’ve learned to do for myself when fear, anxiety,
14
frustration, and stress creep in. I find something else I feel con-
15
nected to and passionate about. I don’t wallow in it. When I’m
16
out of control in one situation, I look for stability in another area
17
of my life. I focus on things that are positive, inspiring, and up-
18
lifting for me.
19
When I feel overwhelmed, I make it a priority to focus on
20
things that relieve stress like playing with my twins, taking a spin
21
class, or having lunch with a friend. As a CEO, I often deal with
22
significant stress and uncertainty, so I have learned to compart-
23
mentalize when things get crazy such as during the acquisition
24
of another company. There are some decisions I can’t control be-
25
cause I am working with so many parties. In fact, I don’t always
26
have control of the outcome—acquisitions sometimes fall apart
27
for many reasons (for example, money, state of the market, or
28
lack of agreement from the board and shareholders). That’s when
29 30
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186 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
I step back and remember not to take things personally. I have
2
learned that in certain situations, it may be best to remove myself
3
from the situation completely.
4
The hardest part for me is to forgive myself even when others
5
cannot. I can’t get weighed down in what didn’t work. It’s quick-
6
sand. When others are upset and angry with a decision I’ve made
7
or a direction I’m taking, I must be able to step back and ask my-
8
self, “Is what I’m doing right and for the greater good?” My dad
9
always said, “At the end of the day, you have to know that you
10
did the best you could. That’s all you can do.” I must know in my
11
mind and my heart.
12
That said, if you’re generally fulfilled, you can avoid wallow-
13
ing too long in difficult situations. Plus, you will be able to say,
14
“I did my best, and that was all I could do”—and you’ll mean it.
15
Simply put, your mind isn’t the only part of your body that
16
must become resilient; your heart should too. Your emotional re-
17
sponses are keys to resilience. Human beings tend to overesti-
18
mate fear because we are programmed for survival and our brain
19
and nervous system are sensitive to threats. Obstacles, setbacks,
20
and failures can hurt. They cause fear and a host of negatively
21
perceived reactions like shame, guilt, anger, frustration, and self-
22
doubt. Managing these emotions will enable you to take action.
23
It also allows you to adapt and take action to move forward with
24
heart.
25
This kind of emotion management is not just the key to re-
26
silience and execution. It’s the key to success in many areas of
27
life. What do you do to proactively understand and manage your
28
emotions? There are various ways to attend to your emotions
29
constructively, including those I just mentioned. Which of these
30
resonate for you?
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Minds and Hearts
187
●●
Exercise
1
●●
Talking to a mentor or friend
2
●●
Meditating
3
●●
Creating a plan
4
●●
Taking a step toward fixing it
5
●●
Identifying what you can control
6
●●
Compartmentalizing
7
●●
Removing yourself from the situation (when possible)
8 9 10 11
Resilience Pulse Check
12
On a scale from 1 to 10, how good are you at managing
13
your heartset? What productive actions do you take to
14
manage your emotions (for example, exercising, talking
15
with someone, journaling, meditating, or devising a plan)?
16
In hindsight, what else could you have done to manage
17
your emotions more constructively?
18 19 20
Or if you want a more visual lesson, stream the original Rocky.
21
After several sequels in which Sylvester Stallone’s Rocky Balboa
22
vanquishes every opponent in the end, it is sometimes hard to re-
23
member that in the original movie, Rocky loses. The film didn’t.
24
It won Best Picture and Best Screenplay for Stallone at the Os-
25
cars—but Rocky did.
26
But do you think of him as a loser? I don’t. To me, Rocky
27
is the ultimate demonstration of heartset. He has the emotional
28
endurance to make it to the end. Yes, he needed to demonstrate
29
mindset. He had to learn to adapt to Apollo, find his weakness,
30
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188 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
and attack it. What I remember, however, is not that mindset but
2
his heartset—his courage and ability to stay positive even when
3
his vision literally and figuratively was blurred and bloodied.
4
When knocked down 9 times, Rocky got up 10.
5
People who have this heartset will always feel successful in
6
their execution. They may not always win, but they never get
7
knocked out. Especially when they practice it day in and day out.
8 9
RESILIENCE CHECK
10
Questions for Self-Reflection
11 12 13 14 15 16
Think of a time when you faced a setback, obstacle, or failure. What was your initial reaction, and how did you manage your reaction to it? Did you use a growth mindset and heartset? If so, how? If not, and faced with the same situation again, what would you do differently?
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
18
2 3 4 5
Practicing and Preparing for Resilience
6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
J
15 ust months after buying my red Jeep when I was 16, I crashed
16
it. It was totally my fault. I couldn’t afford to put a stereo in
17
the Jeep, and since my vision involved listening to tunes with my
18
friends, I had put my boom box in the car. Alone in the car one
19
day, I reached down to change my cassette tape, took my eyes off
20
the road for just a few seconds, and as I looked up, I hit another
21
car. No one was injured. The other car wasn’t badly banged up.
22
Mine, not so much.
23
I sat by the side of the road on top of my Jeep just crying as
24
the police and tow truck came. My Jeep wasn’t totaled, but the
25
front looked like an accordion. I couldn’t afford the deductible
26
to repair it, so my dad, who knew a lot about self-service auto re-
27
pair from his first business, tried to stretch it out with a bulldozer.
28
He tied the back of the car to a tree and pulled on the front with
29
the bulldozer to un-squish it. He then hammered out the fender
30
189
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190 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
and made it look straight. It looked like . . . a Jeep that had been
2
in a car wreck and then fixed by a bulldozer, a hammer, and my
3
dad in our backyard.
4
When you’re 16-year-old girl, you care about how things
5
look. I tried to cover the ugliness up. I bought a “bra” for the
6
front to make it look snazzy. But what was I going to do? I had
7
crashed my car. It was my fault. This was long before anyone
8
talked about the dangers of distracted driving—a lesson I had
9
now learned on my own. I had two choices: wallow in pity and
10
start taking the bus to school, or suck it up, accept responsibility,
11
start driving again, and resolve never to drive distracted again.
12
I chose the latter.
13
More than 20 years later as I was writing this book, I found
14
myself stranded by the side of another road—this time the break-
15
down lane on the I-880 outside San Francisco. Only it wasn’t my
16
fault. My Uber had broken down on the way to the airport, and
17
we were already running late. As I felt the stress of the day rise
18
and my full schedule waiting for me upon my return to San Di-
19
ego, I started to feel overwhelmed. I had no idea what to do.
20
That’s when I remembered the story of my Jeep and how I
21
felt sitting on the hood, crying. And I realized I had two choices:
22
let the stress of a situation that I had no control over overwhelm
23
me or get out of the car and hitchhike.
24
I chose the latter.
25
I got out of the car in the breakdown lane and stood by the
26
side of the car thumbing for a ride in my work clothes. I have the
27
picture my Uber driver took to prove it! And with temperatures
28
approaching 90 degrees, the road shimmering from the heat, I
29
thought maybe someone might take pity on me.
30
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“I am not going to bug you or rob you. I just need a lift to the
1
airport!” I screamed as if the people in the cars whizzing by could
2
hear me. No one stopped.
3
But if you look at my face in that picture? I’m smiling. I real-
4
ized I needed to make the best of my situation, and if I missed my
5
flight? Well, that’s life, right? No need to take it out on myself, my
6
Uber driver, or anyone else.
7
In both the Jeep and the Uber situations, I did what we all
8
must do when life gets in the way: practice resilience.
9 10 11
You must develop resilience
12
before you need it.
13 14
You don’t need resilience only when facing setbacks; it needs
15
to become an innate part of who you are. In the same way that
16
you don’t want your first fire drill to be when there’s a real fire,
17
resilience needs to be developed before a crisis or a failure oc-
18
curs. And just like pretty much everything else in life, practice
19
makes perfect. Think of resilience—your mindset and heartset—
20
as a muscle, and just like any muscle you want to build, you need
21
to exercise it in order to execute at the highest level. It must be-
22
come your reflex.
23
The good news is you can exercise it pretty much anywhere.
24
Opportunities present themselves not just in a big loss, a minicri-
25
sis at work, or a tough setback but everywhere. Even when you
26
think there is nothing you can do to make it better but smile.
27 28 29 30
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Using Your Mindset and Heartset Every Day
1 2 3 4
I love Guns N’ Roses, and when they reunited in 2016, I decided
5
to take 20 people from our leadership team to the show. I as-
6
sumed the seats we ordered would be together. Nope. We picked
7
them up at will-call, and all 20 were single tickets scattered
8
throughout the stadium. Welcome to the jungle . . . of disappoint-
9
ment.
10 11 12 13
We had a few choices in that moment. The first was to quit— just say c’est la vie and find something else fun to do. The second was to enjoy it individually but start a group chat so we could share the experience collectively.
14
Then we realized there was a third choice, one that allowed
15
us to practice a resilient mindset and get what we wanted on the
16
first place. We made it a game to get all 20 of us together. We
17
spent the next hour trying to change seats. We used our best ne-
18
gotiation skills until all 20 of us were sitting together. Our worst-
19
made plan turned into a best-laid moment of collective fun—all
20
because we took the opportunity to practice our resiliency. Para-
21
dise City!
22
Whether acting alone or as part of a team, resilience is noth-
23
ing without perseverance and self-belief. If we didn’t think we
24
could do what we did at the concert—make a seemingly impos-
25
sible challenge possible—then what would make us think we
26
were going to fare better when we wanted to achieve our biggest
27
dreams at home or our ambitious sales targets at work?
28
Adapting to challenges, dealing with stress, managing rejec-
29
tion, and handling or delivering bad news are things we all must
30
face and do well to execute at the highest level. Those are exactly
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193
the times when you can practice resilience and gain the confi-
1
dence you need to keep pushing forward through the toughest
2
times and uncertainty. If you don’t believe you can succeed, why
3
should the people working with you?
4 5 6
To adapt to challenges and setbacks,
7
you must be willing to do
8
whatever it takes to move forward.
9 10
When I started my first business at my kitchen table, it was
11
no romance, but it was certainly more romantic than where we
12
ended up when I moved out of my kitchen and opened my first
13
official office. I didn’t have the money to set it up on my own,
14
so we literally worked in our friend’s company’s storage closet.
15
There were no windows, and it was meant to store printers and
16
office supplies. It had about enough room to squeeze in four
17
desks. There were two of us in there for a year.
18
When we started to grow, we interviewed people in the front
19
lobby, and when they were hired, made them sit in the closet too
20
until we moved. Was it uncomfortable? Of course! It was hot,
21
there were no windows, and we couldn’t move without bumping
22
into something or each other. But comfort is not the point when
23
practicing resilience. As I said in Trait 3, “Action,” we all like
24
the safety and comfort of easy choices, but that is not where the
25
magic happens. From those days in the storage closet, I learned
26
that if I’m not willing to be uncomfortable, I know I am not
27
growing. That’s why I make a habit of putting myself in the face
28
of rejection all the time. That’s how I grow, adjust, and build my
29
resilience to face the day-to-day stresses. My only goal since the
30
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194 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
storage closet days has been to make sure my team felt less dis-
2
comfort than I did but not be afraid of that discomfort.
3
When it comes to uncomfortable and stressful situations, the
4
best lesson in resilience comes from people on the front lines,
5
especially those who deal with customers. It’s a big reason
6
Southwest Airlines likes to recruit teachers for frontline positions—
7
they know how to be resilient from the stress of working with
8
kids in a classroom. It doesn’t matter that teachers don’t know
9
anything about the airline business. The difference between
10
teachers and other candidates is the teachers’ ability to deal with
11
the stress of the job while also dealing with cranky passengers
12
acting like difficult students.
13 14
In other words, the best teachers have usually made resilience a habit through everyday practice.
15
In The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg talks about how cre-
16
ating habits to deal with challenging situations is a cornerstone
17
for success. For example, a big part of Starbucks’ training for
18
its employees is understanding and anticipating that custom-
19
ers will be upset at some point. Something will go wrong, or the
20
wait will be endless for that latte, or someone will project his or
21
her bad day onto you. So the company trains employees how to
22
emotionally—and mentally—handle those situations by practic-
23
ing them. Like pilots in flight simulators learning to handle ex-
24
treme situations when lives are in the balance, Starbucks’ baristas
25
practice your disappointment with your Frappuccino. The more
26
they practice, the more they develop resilience, and the more they
27
have a mindset and heartset, which allows them to handle those
28
situations better, faster, or before they even happen.1
29
The baristas also learn to be aware and accept responsibility
30
if it is indeed their fault. In this way, Starbucks’ “teams” on field
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195
behind the counter are no different from the best teams and play-
1
ers in sports. The best athletes spend hours practicing and train-
2
ing each day to improve their performance. Do you? Does your
3
team?
4 5 6 7
Resilience Pulse Check
8
For one week, put yourself in a position each day where
9
you have a high chance to get rejected and can practice
10
being resilient. Ideas include these:
11
• Making a call you’re worried about making
12
• Introducing yourself to someone new or striking up a
13
conversation with a stranger
14
• Sharing an opinion you believe in that might not be
15
the group consensus
16
• Doing anything out of your comfort zone
17 18
Keep a journal about each experience. At the end of
19
each day, answer these questions: What have you learned?
20
How could you perceive or handle things differently? What
21
mistake or misstep did you take, and what did you learn
22
from it? What will you do the next time you’re in the situ-
23
ation?
24 25 26
What are you doing to set yourself and your people up to
27
effectively adapt to challenges and setbacks in order to execute
28
better when the problems happen? Remember: Developing re-
29
silience in one area of your life develops resilience in all areas of
30
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196 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
your life. Being resilient in your personal life transfers to your
2
professional roles and vice versa. Your brain doesn’t distinguish
3
between these different areas of life.
4 5
Which means there is always a chance you will take something personally when handling rejection and failure. Don’t.
6
From applying for a job to trying to make a reservation to
7
not getting a response to a text or e-mail, we all face rejection
8
sometimes. Deal with it. Stop projecting what you feel on the ac-
9
tions of others. If it wasn’t an expressly personal attack, don’t
10
take it that way. Only by working to not take it personally when
11
you are rejected or you fail or you just disagree with something
12
or someone can you truly keep a balanced perspective about situ-
13
ations that challenge you.
14
And when it comes to the naysayers trying to bring you
15
down? Don’t let them. Naysayers, rejection, failure, uncomfort-
16
able situations . . . don’t just deal with them. Seek them out! I
17
make a habit of putting myself in the face of potential rejection
18
all the time. It is how I know I am pushing myself as hard as I
19
can and how I know that whatever happens, it will be OK. Does
20
it help that I now have the money to back whatever decision I
21
make? Of course! But I didn’t always have the money I have to-
22
day, and I have learned to never let money prevent me from prac-
23
ticing resilience—you have to save to prepare to be resilient.
24
My dad taught me that. After that startup failed and I was
25
broke at 23, he told me to start saving so I would eventually have
26
“F--- you” money and never be in a place to let someone else con-
27
trol my future again. If I was stuck in a bad deal or a job or a re-
28
lationship, I wouldn’t let money keep me from being resilient and
29
saying no or walking away. Most of us don’t do this in any part
30
of our lives. Countless times I’ve heard financial experts say you
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Prac ticing and Preparing for Resilience
197
should have at least six months of expenses saved for an emer-
1
gency. Yet according to a 2016 GOBankingRates survey, 35 per-
2
cent of all adults have less than $1,000 in their savings accounts,
3
and 34 percent have nothing.
2
4
Nothing.
5
Having savings is like having Wonder Woman’s shield for the
6
inevitable bad news that comes from pushing forward, taking
7
risks, and facing uncertainty. This is why acting to deliver bad
8
news is when your resilience is really tested. People usually have
9
a tough time dealing with bad news. But I find that people have
10
a harder time delivering it. They wait to tell it, try not to do it in
11
person, stumble around it, and often fail to get it all out.
12
That’s why I keep a deck of cards in my desk. I call them can-
13
dor cards. When I give people one, they know what is about to
14
happen. It’s a shield because what is coming is going to hurt, and
15
the card gives them a moment to prepare mentally and emotion-
16
ally and not feel blindsided. Handing them a card also forces me
17
to deliver the bad news with candor and kindness. I can’t hide.
18
I have set an expectation of what is to come, and I execute even
19
though it doesn’t feel good doing it.
20
While those cards are out, the person I am talking to can also
21
feel free to speak his or her mind as I speak mine and nothing we
22
say can be used against us. We get to the heart of the matter. The
23
cards are my way of saying to myself: You can handle it.
24
So can you! You can fail and still move forward.
25 26
Really! Fail Forward!
27
One of the wisest things anyone ever said to me was that it is ev-
29
ery bit as important to figure out what you don’t like as it is to
30
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198 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
figure out what you do like. That’s, in part, why we make mis-
2
takes. We’re human! We’re complex emotional creatures who of-
3
ten have no idea what we want, how to get it, or if we’re doing
4
everything correctly.
5 6
One of the best ways we can learn and get those skills is through experiential failure.
7
Failure is not only a part of life but also a really valuable
8
tool for evolution and excellence when executing your vision. No
9
one, and I mean no one, gets through executing any challenge un-
10
scathed—unless they just play it too safe. Think of execution like
11
climbing the face of a mountain. No matter how experienced you
12
are, you always know that something might happen—you could
13
slip, your lead clip could fail—and you might fall. The point isn’t
14
that you will fall but how far and how prepared you are to ac-
15
cept it. This is why people learning to rock climb are told to make
16
themselves fall: They need to know it is a possibility and what it
17
feels like so they can get past the fear of its happening in less con-
18
trolled situations. So go ahead:
19 20 21 22 23 24
Get rejected. Fall flat on your face. Get the wrong seats at a concert. Fail every single day. Just fail forward.
25
Failing forward is a proven strategy—and not just for me.
26
Think back to Elon Musk’s story if you have any doubts. If
27
you’re not failing, you’re not growing, and you’re not trying
28
hard enough. You can’t expect to be perfect the first time you
29
do anything. You’re going to make mistakes. The key is to have
30
a growth mindset and heartset where those mistakes help you
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Prac ticing and Preparing for Resilience
199
grow, learn, and evolve. Like my IKEA nightmare? I truly believe
1
that yesterday’s “failure” is today’s lesson that will lead to tomor-
2
row’s success.
3
If you have a system of support and personal resilience, the
4
immediate feelings of despair will fade. Then you’ll realize, in
5
most cases, that failing was a good thing—even the best thing
6
that ever happened to you, your vision, and your business as you
7
execute.
8
Your team needs to know this too. When it comes to the
9
people working to help execute your vision, you always have to
10
ask yourself whether any lack of resilience they have is because
11
they are playing it safe because they don’t know how to handle
12
things. Do you let your employees practice and even fail when
13
taking chances? Do they constantly strive to know what they
14
don’t know? Why not let them do the same the things for a week
15
that I just asked you to do?
16
When you do, you learn one of the most important lessons in
17
parenting and business: let them fail.
18 19 20
Do you let others test their resilience?
21 22
It’s a real catch-22 for anyone trying to be resilient in execu-
23
tion. Until you have the experience, you can’t know how to han-
24
dle resilience, but you can’t have the experience until someone
25
gives you the opportunity and incentivizes (or at least won’t pun-
26
ish) you for trying to push forward. That’s probably the best part
27
about having entrepreneurial parents who refused to solve my
28
problems for me. I learned to be resilient and act to follow
29
my passion and achieve my vision.
30
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200 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
This experience informs my personal motto that I tell my
2
management team: Don’t blink. Don’t let the chaos around you
3
affect you. Have confidence in yourself that even if you fail, you
4
will be OK. Just keep moving forward. Your teams are watch-
5
ing you, waiting to see how you will react. Don’t blink. In fact,
6
it’s in these moments—when heartset is linked strongly to mind-
7
set, showing the strength and depth of your resilience— that your
8
leadership success is taken to an entirely new level.
9
Because when you do show resilience and grow as a leader, you
10
understand that you need those people—those relationships—
11
to help you execute and succeed.
12 13
RESILIENCE CHECK
14
Questions for Self-Reflection
15 16
Every entrepreneur, leader, and team on any field—be it sports or busi-
17
ness—knows that people need to practice to improve at anything. The
18
moment you get complacent about success or failure, you lose.
19
So how are you practicing being resilient?
20
What are you doing to set yourself up to effectively adapt to chal-
21
lenges and setbacks?
22
How well do you perform in stressful situations?
23
How do you handle rejection and deliver bad news?
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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201
1 2
Resilience—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
3 4 5
RE S I LI E NCE: RE FLE C T I O N S A N D
6
MOV I NG FO R WA RD ●●
Failure and setbacks are inevitable parts of life and business.
●●
How we react to these bumps in the road has major implica-
7 8 9
tions for our efforts, so it is essential to know how to manage
10
them effectively. ●●
11
There is nothing more rewarding than finding success by
12
effectively adapting to challenge and setbacks! ●●
13
Manage your emotions: having a mindset that looks to find
14
the lessons and the positives in any situation is an essential
15
part of building your resilience. ●●
16
Teaching your team these same strategies for resilience will
17
lead to a more innovative and successful organization. ●●
18
Resilient people are always in demand. They are inspiring—
19
even stabilizing—influences when situations are intense or
20
in chaos and obstacles seem insurmountable. ●●
21
You need to develop a growth mindset in which creativity,
22
adaptation, and innovation can thrive. ●●
23
You need to develop a growth heartset so that you can cope
24
emotionally with setbacks, obstacles, and crises. ●●
25
You need to practice resilience so you can better work
26
through challenges, struggles, and failures when they
27
happen.
28 29 30
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202 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
●●
Be careful that your resilience doesn’t leave you course correcting to oblivion or blind you to different directions. Remember: There are times when continuing might not be practical no matter what you do, and failure is useful only if you learn from it and fail forward!
BE FO RE YO U G O: WHAT ’S T H E S C EN A R I O? This scenario is designed to help you think about everything you have learned in this section. Please take a few minutes to complete this exercise as best you can. I promise it will be worth it. If you get stuck or you are not sure about your answer, go back and review the section. Remember, there is no right or wrong answer here—this is just a way of applying your new knowledge about resilience. Often it is easier to give advice to someone else, when you’re not wrapped up in your own world, full of all its complexities. A friend shares with you that a source of major funding for a new project has backed out of a big deal he was counting on. He is frustrated and stressed out, and he is talking about giving up and moving on. What can you do to help him? How would you use the information you’ve learned about resilience to help him?
25 26 27 28 29 30
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1 2
T R A I T
3
5
4 5
RELATIONSHIPS
6
Having the Right People in Your Life
9
7 8 10
Success is best when it is shared.
11
— H OWA R D S C H U LT Z
12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
19
2 3 4 5
The Human Touch
6 7 8 9 10
T
11 he leadership consultant looked at me through the glass door
12
of my office. She had been talking to my team one-on-one,
13
and our eyes met before she spoke. It was clear she saw the ten-
14
sion in my face. I immediately knew she understood.
15
“Kimmo, you want to talk about what I found?”
16
“Mom, don’t call me Kimmo at the office.”
17
Unlike reports of helicopter parents of millennials showing
18
up in their children’s workplace to watch over or advocate for
19
their children (yes, it’s a thing), I have always welcomed my mom
20
at work. In fact, she’s usually there because I hired her. There’s
21
no nepotism involved. I hired her because my mom has and al-
22
ways will be my role model for understanding the importance
23
and value of relationships—both personally and professionally.
24
Even if she does occasionally call me Kimmo at work.
25
Mom didn’t graduate from college with a career path in
26
mind. Like my dad, she was an entrepreneur but cut from a self-
27
starter cloth: she worked well within companies. Her first job
28
was running a new occupational therapy department at a hospi-
29
tal in Portland, Oregon. The director took a big risk hiring her
30
205
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206 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
straight out of college to lead the program, but my mother was
2
ahead of the curve in healthcare with her understanding of what
3
we now know as a “holistic” approach to patient care. She had a
4
special gift when it came to working with patients with physical
5
and emotional disabilities.
6
After five years, my mom left her job to start our family, re-
7
turning to work when we were older. She decided not to go back
8
to the hospital and instead found work in private rehabilitation,
9
building on her hospital experience but with more of a focus on
10
individuals.
11
Then after dinner with a friend one night, a new vision blos-
12
somed: a holistic approach to business leadership. Her friend ran
13
his own business, and it had grown exponentially, putting him
14
in the position of leading and managing people for the first time.
15
And it was making him unhappy. My mom told me she could
16
hear the stress in his voice, and soon after he started complain-
17
ing about his health issues. He was blind to the direct correla-
18
tion it had to his business, but my mom could see it. When she
19
worked at the hospital, she listened to patients who had experi-
20
enced strokes, heart attacks, and depression talk about how hard
21
they were working for retirement and describe the stress it put on
22
them. They didn’t always see the connection either.
23
My mom listened to her friend’s difficulties so she could un-
24
derstand the whole picture. The next day she called him at work:
25
“I think I can help you.”
26
The following meeting defined my mom’s career for the next 30
27
years. Long before there was StrengthsFinder, my mom sat down
28
with her friend and asked him questions to discover his strengths,
29
passions, and natural abilities. She didn’t focus on what he was
30
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207
doing or what he thought he should do. She wanted to know
1
what he loved first, not just what the business needed. She needed
2
to know his values. Thus, her first question that day, and for any
3
other future client she would work with, was as simple to ask as
4
it was difficult to answer (without reciting some line from the
5
company mission statement):
6 7
“What are your values and ‘nonnegotiables’—the things
8
you will not compromise on?”
9 10
Your values and nonnegotiables are those few things in life
11
that you will not make concessions for. They are guiding princi-
12
ples and beliefs that remain unchanged regardless of money, ur-
13
gency, or another person. Your values help you live an authentic
14
and balanced life—a life in which you are steadfast in what you
15
say and do. Your family, friends, employees, coworkers, and cus-
16
tomers need to know where you will not compromise.
17
For example, when my mom asks people what they value and
18
they say, “Family,” her next question is always, “How much of
19
your time do you spend with them?” The point isn’t to question
20
their answer—she doesn’t care what they chose—but to deter-
21
mine if their words are consistent with their actions. By exten-
22
sion, businesses that live by their values make it easy for their
23
employees to make strong choices when up against a tough deci-
24
sion because they know they will be supported 100 percent, no
25
questions asked—if their choices were anchored in the company
26
values.
27
From her work with that friend, my mom’s business evolved
28
into team development with a clear focus on vision, values,
29 30
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208 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
and open communication. She was relentless in her belief that
2
if people built on their strengths and interests to lead values-
3
driven companies, then they would stay healthy even when go-
4
ing through major changes and transformations. Staying healthy:
5
that was her goal in helping people love what they do every day
6
because it taps into their talents and helps businesses maximize
7
their potential.
8 9 10
Relationships Pulse Check
11
The following questions are designed to help you gain
12
greater awareness of and to get you to start thinking about
13
your relationships before continuing in this chapter:
14
• What are your values?
15
• What are your nonnegotiables?
16 17 18
Human. Potential.
19 20 21
We’re all human so we all have potential. How much of it re-
22
mains hidden or untapped in us? How much do we leave hidden
23
or untapped in others leading to “people problems”?
24
I know I was struggling with people problems—my own and
25
with others— when I started my first company. Yes, I had scaled
26
it from nothing to a million dollars in revenue to a million dollars
27
a month but . . . something was just not clicking. So I hired my
28
mom as my mentor and our leadership coach to work through
29
issues and the team dynamics that were difficult for me. But she
30
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209
didn’t start with the team. She forced me first to talk about my
1
strengths and limitations to understand what I loved and how
2
my people could complement what I do, and then she turned the
3
spotlight on everyone else. And her work with me started with
4
that one question:
5
“What are your values and nonnegotiables?”
6
When I answered, “Relationships,” my mom questioned me
7
on how much time I spent caring for those relationships, whether
8
I treated people respectfully and with kindness, and whether those
9
relationships were prioritized in decisions I made. What I learned
10
that day stayed with me, and it’s why I brought mom back as we
11
scaled. We are and have always been a digital company in a rapidly
12
evolving industry. We pivot, adapt, and change every day. Days are
13
filled with uncertainty, and sometimes we don’t know beyond
14
just a gut feeling that what we are doing is right or will work. But
15
my mom showed me my North Star never changes, and that had
16
to be as true for me at work as it was in my personal life.
17
My values that inform my vision are how I deal with a seem-
18
ingly endless set of unknowns. My mom taught me how to ap-
19
proach every aspect of my life with generosity and a sense of
20
abundance rather than scarcity. I needed to have a win-win men-
21
tality that flowed into every iteration of my business as I strove to
22
execute and lift myself and everyone around me.
23
I value relationships above and beyond anything else—life-
24
long relationships that give and take, grow, and evolve. Those are
25
the people who know the person you were and the person you
26
are today. They have shared the experiences that helped define
27
who you are and who you will become. Relationships at home
28
and with my family. With friends and colleagues. With clients and
29 30
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210 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
other leaders. With the people who ask for advice or investment.
2
With the people who work with and for me—because great com-
3
panies must have great relationships too. And all of this comes
4
down those two words: human potential.
5
There’s no way I would be where I am today without all the
6
people who have helped and supported me along the way. Many
7
of those relationships continue to this day. By helping other
8
people and learning about the experiences that made them who
9
they are, those people in turn help me understand who I am and
10
to see the world differently and more broadly. Which is why I say,
11
I don’t invest in companies. I invest in people—in relationships.
12
I focus on people, cultivate them, learn from them, and grow be-
13
cause of them—both as a human being and as a business. The
14
person who acquired my first company was a relationship that I
15
had made a decade earlier when I was selling digital advertising
16
at the tech startup that went bankrupt. My best friend from col-
17
lege is one of my most trusted advisors at work.
18 19
Those who understand and are aware of
20
the value and the importance of
21
relationships know they can achieve much
22
more together than they can alone.
23 24 25
Building healthy, inspiring, and supportive relationships isn’t
26
just a cornerstone to execution. It’s an integral part of success in
27
all areas of life. Because you can’t do it alone. And to that point:
28
Who wants to? We are biologically wired to connect with others,
29
rely on each other, and work together. And of course, everything
30
is better shared.
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211
Great Relationships Aren’t a Luxury—They’re a Necessity
1 2 3
I know what I am going to say sounds obvious; everyone would
4
say they know relationships are important. Same way we know
5
sunscreen, sleep, and seatbelts are important, and yet here we
6
are, still getting sunburned, sleepy, and hurt in car accidents. My
7
mother helped me see how I got in my own way when it came to
8
valuing relationships in the workplace. What gets in your way?
9
I find that often people feel they can “do it on their own”—or
10
just find it difficult to include others probably because they feel
11
they can do things better, faster, or more thoroughly themselves.
12
Maybe you feel you don’t have the time or energy to train or
13
mentor someone. Maybe you don’t know where to find the right
14
people? Maybe you feel you aren’t naturally a “people person”
15
and find it hard to connect and listen. Does any of that sound like
16
you? Simply put, whatever is holding you back from being other-
17
directed, it’s an excuse. Because when it comes to execution, suc-
18
cess, and just being a happier, healthier, and kinder person, there
19
is no substitute for relationships: ●●
20
In 1918, the Carnegie Foundation found “human en-
21
gineering” was responsible for 85 percent of finan-
22
cial success while only 15 percent came from technical
23
1
●●
1260128520_perell_final.indb 211
knowledge.
24
In 1995, the Center for Creative Leadership released a
25
now-classic study on how an individual’s inability to
26
work well in a team and his or her poor interpersonal re-
27
lationships are two of the biggest reasons for failure (the
28
other being the inability to handle change, which we just
29
covered in Trait 4, “Resilience”).2
30
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212 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
●●
In 2015, Robert Waldinger, clinical professor of psychi-
2
atry at Harvard Medical School and the director of the
3
Harvard Study of Adult Development, revealed the re-
4
sult of the longest study of adult life ever done (75 years
5
tracking the lives of 724 men): “Good relationships keep
6
us happier and healthier. Period.”3
7 8
Even without the supporting data, we all know the impor-
9
tance of having strong relationships in our lives to help celebrate
10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23
our success and support us when we are feeling low. In my experience, there are three key elements that are critical to great relationships in execution: 1. Building a team and network around you, including leveraging the talents of others and seeking out win-win scenarios 2. Life audits to help you minimize the impact of negative relationships and maximize the positive ones 3. Maintaining great relationships, fostering them, investing in them, and giving them the time, care, and attention they deserve—no excuses Let’s take a look at the relationships in your life through these key elements.
24 25
R E L AT I O N S H I P S C H E C K
26
Questions for Self-Reflection
27 28
Think about the relationships in all parts of your life—past and
29
present—then answer these questions as a foundation for moving
30
forward:
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The Human Touch
213
• On a scale of 1 to 10, how good do you feel you are at fostering
1
relationships for mutual success? Why?
2
• On a scale of 1 to 10, how well do you distance yourself from
3
people who are unhelpful or a negative influence? What holds
4
you back from distancing yourself?
5
• On a scale of 1 to 10, how good are you at consciously attending
6
to your relationships and planning interactions to maintain
7
them? For example, do you reach out to others even when
8
there’s no immediate or compelling reason to do so?
9
• How often (always, sometimes, rarely, never) do you reach out
10
to others for help, input, or support? When do you reach out,
11
and when have you gotten help back? Why?
12 13
Now, turn the table on yourself. Ask five people whom you trust
14
to be honest with you where they think you rank on these same
15
questions!
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
20
2 3 4 5
Life Is a Team Sport
6 7 8 9 10
H
11 ave you ever watched one of those movies that have a scene
12
in a school cafeteria, kids sliding metal trays along the rails of
13
the line, stern-looking lunch lady in a hairnet slamming suspect-
14
looking food, smiles few and far between? I was the lunch lady.
15
Not literally, but that’s how I sometimes think of myself when I
16
think back to leading my first team in Hawaii before I hired my
17
mom to help me.
18
Before my mom, it was my way or the highway, and my busi-
19
ness suffered for it because the only one executing near his or her
20
potential was me.
21
I’d like to say I came by it honestly. I never really learned the
22
best way to run a team at the dot-com I worked at after college.
23
No one there mentored me or led by example. No one felt they
24
could take the time. I hired everyone who worked for me, but I
25
had no control over my fate or the team’s. No matter how many
26
ways I found to make money with the resources we had, the com-
27
pany hemorrhaged more cash. Whether I was good or bad as a
28
leader of my people was irrelevant; I still had to fire them all for
29
reasons beyond my control.
30 215
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216 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
When I started my first company, part of my vision was to
2
have control over my life. Unfortunately, I let that need to con-
3
trol everything extend beyond me and to my team. And it cost me
4
a lot. I’m not saying that what I said before was a lie: I did value
5
people—I love people. But I got caught in the “there’s my way
6
and the wrong way” trap: I wanted things to be done the way I
7
wanted them done. As a result, I ended up doing most of the
8
work myself.
9
I soon found myself overwhelmed, overworked, and unable
10
to scale quickly. Meanwhile, my team grew restless. With no in-
11
centive to do or go after anything other than what I told them to
12
do, they delivered the results they needed to. The work wasn’t
13
bad, but it was not what any of us wanted. All because they did
14
not own the work. I did. It wasn’t that they couldn’t do the work.
15
It’s that they couldn’t be themselves doing it!
16
I denied any vision of their own, stifled their passions, con-
17
trolled their actions, and left them nothing to be resilient about
18
because they weren’t pushing themselves to go above and beyond
19
and execute on the highest levels for themselves, let alone for me.
20
That’s why I called my mom in to help. How was I going to be
21
able to scale the company when I wanted to control everything?
22 23
Communicate Better
24 25 26 27
My mom spent time with my team and me to help us learn how to better communicate with each other and made sure
28
●●
We understood the outcomes I wanted.
29
●●
I let them feel like they had a stake in those outcomes
30
they executed on.
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Life Is a Team Sport
●●
217
I let them execute—pursue opportunities and deliver
1
results—in any way that was authentic to them as indi-
2
viduals.
3 4
The company soon took off. It was one of my most valuable
5
learning lessons as a leader, and I often think about how much
6
further we could have gone, how much faster we could have ex-
7
ecuted, and how many sleepless nights I would have gotten back
8
if I had understood this one rule sooner. It’s okay if you don’t
9
get from point A to point B my way. The highway is big enough.
10
There are plenty of other roads for all of us to get to the same
11
destination.
12 13 14
Be Accountable to Your People
15 16
Improving accountability involves developing relationships so
17
engagement can increase, which is one reason why relationships
18
are so essential to effective execution, especially on an organiza-
19
tional level.
20
I was fortunate to learn this lesson when I had to motivate
21
8 employees instead of 800 or I’d probably never have seen my
22
family (or my bed). One of the most interesting points on leading
23
teams and companies is that the challenges you had when you were
24
small are essentially the same ones you will have when you are
25
larger. The people problems I had at $1 million were the same
26
ones my leaders and managers had at $100 million.
27
People can fail to execute for a variety of reasons, and one
28
of the most important ones to be aware of is if they don’t have
29
the resources needed to complete the tasks at hand. One of
30
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218 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
the major resources in any business is access to other people—
2
internally and externally—who can help drive execution.
3
Whether it’s experience or insights from another team or even
4
another department like accounting or human resources, the
5
presence of other people, especially people with skills and per-
6
spectives different from yours, adds accountability across a com-
7
pany. See things through new eyes. Hear things through different
8
ears. Interpret problems with different skill sets.
9
This accountability is essential for execution in a world
10
where distraction is everywhere. Even “time to think” can be a
11
luxury, and speed is preferable if not mandatory. Yet, too many
12
people and departments are in silos from each other. We may have
13
open floor plans, but we have to learn to enable and value open
14
communication—up, down, and across the company where people
15
feel free and encouraged to speak up without repercussions.
16
A win-lose scenario is what is called a scarcity mentality: In
17
order for me to win, someone else must lose. That might be true
18
in sports, but in life and even in business, it’s better if our actions
19
serve an abundance mentality or win-win. Action without bigger
20
relationships—and those that are dismissive of others—is almost
21
always win-lose. Win-lose relationships are neither collaborative
22
nor sustainable.
23
Leaders who know the power of relationships understand
24
this. They have an ability to recognize the strengths and talents
25
of individuals, and they are guided by a win-win mentality, al-
26
ways on the lookout for areas of reciprocity and mutual success.
27
Because they know success is better shared and no one can go it
28
alone. They know relationships are more than just leveraging ev-
29
eryone’s time and talents to scale success. They are about give-
30
and-take and understanding that this paradigm creates success
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Life Is a Team Sport
219
for all, aligning everyone’s skills and goals to execute better and
1
achieve more. They lead by building healthy, inspiring, support-
2
ive relationships—the foundation for trust on any team.
3
You don’t have to be an extrovert to build a network of re-
4
lationships to do this! You just have to empower others to act in
5
your stead. That said, there are three key ways to build, connect,
6
and inspire the people who make up your network:
7 8
1. Get to know those around you.
9
2. Recognize and leverage differences.
10
3. Give yourself up for win-win scenarios.
11
Before we get into each of these steps to maximize your rela-
12
tionships, please know by “network,” I mean all of the people you
13
surround yourself with or connect with, not just those on your
14
team. Often people are great at connecting with their teams, but
15
miss opportunities to connect with those outside their teams, com-
16
pany, or even industry. Others may spend a lot of energy building
17
their external network, but fail to focus on their internal team.
18
Both are important.
19
That said, don’t let caring for and giving to others replace or
20
force you to lose track of caring for and giving to yourself. We all
21
run the risk of overusing our strengths to our detriment. Those
22
who lead with relationships must be careful that the investment
23
of their time and energy doesn’t drain them too much or distract
24
them from achieving their vision. Because you also have a rela-
25
tionship with yourself.
26
We should be invested in the success of everyone around us,
27
but we must be careful not to overidentify with other people’s
28
goals and sacrifice our own needs for the perceived good of our
29
relationships.
30
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220 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
1. Get to Know Those Around You
2
If you’re this deep in your execution evolution, fundamentally car-
3
ing about those around you and wanting to get to know them bet-
4
ter is the only way to build and scale your network and business.
5
When I say “getting to know people,” I mean taking a genu-
6
ine interest in them. You can’t fake passion, and you can’t fake
7
caring either. The easiest way to do this with sincerity is to take
8
the time to talk to those around you and find out what is impor-
9
tant to them. And the best way to do that is to share your stories
10
and ask questions.
11
The questions don’t even have to be personal to start. They
12
just can’t be transactional yes-or-no questions like, “Did you
13
have a good night?” or “How was your weekend?” But it’s even
14
better to ask questions that open people up like these:
15 16
●●
What motivates you?
17
●●
What inspires you?
18
●●
What are you passionate about?
19
●●
What keeps you up at night?
20
●●
Where do you see yourself in five years?
21
●●
How can I support you to get there?
22
I cannot emphasize enough the need to devote the time to ask
23
questions and initiate conversations.
24
People reveal their passions in how they speak, what they
25
value, what they spend their time doing, and, of course, whom
26
they hang out with. They want to share that. Let them. If you’re
27
in a cutthroat high-performance business and the expectation is
28
that you will perform constantly, then those performances are
29
driven by execution. Execution needs that passion, and as you
30
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Life Is a Team Sport
221
know, passion comes from a desire to suffer for what you are
1
doing.
2
Are your people willing to suffer for you?
3
You can understand if they are by asking those questions but
4
only if you actually listen to the answers. Really listen.
5
In fact, the two are related. We don’t take the time to ask
6
questions because we don’t have the time or patience to listen
7
to the answers—and even if we do, we rarely ask one follow-up
8
question. How do you think that makes someone else feel? No
9
wonder research shows that people who ask a question and then
10
follow up with another question that shows interest in the previ-
11
ous answer are seen as more likable than those who just talk. But
12
did you really need me or research to tell you that?
13 14 15
Time builds trust, and trust builds
16
great relationships.
17 18
If you find it hard to ask the right questions or ask them at
19
all, try just not talking. Watching and listening to people engage
20
with others reveals a lot too. Having this level of understand-
21
ing about those around you will enable you to communicate
22
with them better over time and inspire and motivate them more
23
effectively.
24
Investing in my people and their personal growth, self-
25
awareness, and development shows that I care, which in turn
26
makes them happier and more engaged at work—a key to building
27
trusting, intimate connections, communication, and mutual suc-
28
cess. In fact, a 2016 Gallup study cited strong work relationships
29 30
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222 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
as a leading reason for employee engagement, a factor associ-
2
ated with increased performance and success.1 The most engaged
3
companies have four times the success than the least en-
4
gaged companies.
5
Of course, you won’t have time to invest in everyone around
6
you! The key is to find those you know need you, who are in-
7
tegral to the success of the business, or whom you see a future
8
with and spend more time with them. One way I do this in busi-
9
ness is to focus spending my time with the five people who I be-
10
lieve will make the most impact on the company’s success. The
11
time I spend with them revolves around understanding their chal-
12
lenges, removing their roadblocks, and listening to and following
13
up with their ideas. I’m constantly looking for those individuals
14
who want to push the company forward.
15
Are there people you can think of now who need more time?
16
Whom you could better support in their efforts to contribute to
17
the team? Someone whose needs are directly aligned with your
18
skills or values? Then invest the time—and set up systems that let
19
others do the rest.
20
In other words: delegate!
21
One of the biggest hurdles to execution is delegating and
22
then giving up control. Over time, I have learned that everyone
23
who isn’t pathologically lazy, always covering their butts, or con-
24
stantly shirking responsibility is not nearly as good at delegation
25
as they could be—including me.
26
To help scale myself and my vision, I’ve integrated mentor-
27
ship and knowledge sharing into our culture. For example, we’ve
28
used a “Buddy” program to pair new hires with senior people.
29
This program ensures that each team member is engaged and
30
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Life Is a Team Sport
223
learning from start, and teaches them about the people, the
1
company, and our culture. We also have used an Ambassador
2
program—run by the employees. This enhances, spreads, and cul-
3
tivates the company culture and future leaders by providing ad-
4
ditional opportunities for learning, growth, and knowledge. It’s
5
wonderful to witness our employees teach and inspire each other
6
to take themselves and their careers to the next level.
7
But lest you think I use these programs and ask questions as
8
a way to deflect sharing anything about myself, just ask me! Or
9
rather, look around my offices. The walls are painted bright blue.
10
Which will look familiar if you have known me for a long time:
11
the bright blue is the same color as the blue polo shirts we wore
12
in our family photos growing up. It’s the same blue I have used as
13
my company logo since my first company, signifying how family-
14
oriented I wanted the company to be.
15
Although my company name changed with numerous acqui-
16
sitions, the blue has been a constant. It reminds me of that strong
17
foundation. The walls are an extension of me and my family—
18
a reflection of how I feel about being here. They are me sharing
19
part of my story and history. If I am going to be here and you are
20
going to be here, then we will be a family that shares a vision and
21
executes together, not just a company.
22 23 24 25
Relationships Pulse Check
26
What do you do to ask questions, share your story, and help
27
others share theirs?
28 29 30
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224 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
2. Recognize and Leverage Differences
2
In 2015, Google released data from its massive internal Project Ar-
3
istotle study on teamwork, and its results were published in the
4
New York Times. One line in the story caught my eye: “Success is
5
often built on experiences—like emotional interactions and com-
6
plicated conversations and discussions of who we want to be and
7
how our teammates make us feel—that can’t really be optimized.”2
8
We can talk and talk about data, efficiencies, and produc-
9
tivity when it comes to execution, but how we make others feel
10
when we execute is not a numbers game. We’re all unique, and
11
we need to treat each other that way—even in the office. This
12
isn’t about diversity per se but about treating every person as
13
an individual who can help you understand more about yourself
14
and others. Yes, including those differences brings big challenges,
15
but it also has huge benefits, and I’ve found that the benefits out-
16
weigh the challenges.
17
We all bring different strengths, talents, knowledge, and ex-
18
perience to the proverbial table, and I’ve found it incredibly im-
19
portant in my career to surround myself with people who have
20
what I don’t. For example, I am great with numbers. I see them,
21
get them, and understand them. However, I’m not as good in
22
dealing with process or reviewing anything with lots and lots of
23
pages and infinite detail like contracts or proposals. I get bored
24
and start thinking about something else. That’s why I made sure,
25
early on, to always have someone on my team who is fantastic
26
at this. In fact, not only is she good at it, she enjoys pouring over
27
the detail. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure? True in life,
28
true at work.
29
There are lots of great profiling tools out there like the Myers-
30
Briggs, StrengthsFinder, and DISC assessments to help you
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225
understand and leverage those different skills and strengths. But
1
don’t let these or any tools become a substitute for actual com-
2
munication. I’ve found that the more I understand about my
3
people through conversation, the more we can recognize, nur-
4
ture, bridge, and leverage differences to become more effective,
5
productive, successful—and, ultimately, happier.
6
But be careful. If you want to get the best out of your rela-
7
tionships when it comes to execution (and really anything), then
8
it’s not just about your willingness to listen, as we just discussed,
9
but your willingness to suspend judgment.
10
The Glenn Llopis Group surveyed more than 12,000 senior
11
executives and their employees at hundreds of companies from
12
the Fortune 10 down. They found the need to have a safe environ-
13
ment where no one judged was the number one thing employees
14
said they needed in order to act as their authentic selves at work.
15
Employees felt that without that safety, there was no incentive
16
to do more than they were told. By more than two to one, they
17
said that particular element in their work environment was more
18
important than feeling valued and respected or even trust and
19
transparency from their supervisor. Yet their supervisors thought
20
feeling valued and respected as well as trust and transparency
21
were the most important things. Only 12 percent of those super-
22
visors said a safe environment free from judgment was most im-
23
3
24
It was in mine. That’s what I didn’t say about what happened
25
in Hawaii when I tried to control everything. The ultimate prob-
26
lem was that I didn’t just make my people do it my way. I viewed
27
their way of doing things as inferior. As a result, my team felt de-
28
flated, judged, or criticized. Because any time they tried a dif-
29
ferent way that worked for them, I shot it down. What I didn’t
30
portant—a real disconnect that’s too common in business today.
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226 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
understand then was my vision wasn’t necessarily someone else’s.
2
They needed to buy into it to support it, but they also needed to
3
own part of it for themselves. They couldn’t do that around me.
4 5
How do you make people genuinely
6
feel safe to speak up, be themselves,
7
and express their feelings?
8 9 10
Today I am able to easily admit I do not have all the answers,
11
and I do not judge the differences of the people around me. I trust
12
my team to help me learn what I don’t know.
13
In the end, the best thing about valuing differences and let-
14
ting people be who they are is that they force you to put yourself
15
in new situations to form new relationships and test what you
16
know or don’t. You can’t keep telling the same stories and hear-
17
ing the same ones from people who look and act like you and
18
expect to hear something different. That leads only to confirma-
19
tion bias, which is deadly for execution. If everyone is thinking
20
the same way and looking for data to prove the same points, then
21
tunnel vision takes over and new possibilities become impossible.
22
All it takes is someone willing to see those possibilities, pursue
23
them, and execute to overtake you. You want your people to be
24
“intrapreneurs”—entrepreneurs in the service of the company’s
25
and your vision.
26
I want my people to be entrepreneurs and entrepreneurial, and
27
so should you. You want your people to challenge you and push
28
you. One way of thinking about things leads to one way of exe-
29
cuting things. You need to open yourself up to and listen to mul-
30
tiple stories. You then need to let the people telling those stories
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227
leverage their differences as strengths to benefit the company and
1
look for opportunities and ideas you may not have seen.
2
Even within a company that has more than 800 people, I
3
want all of them to be individuals and feel they have permission
4
to express their individuality. Everybody who comes to work
5
for me today comes to execute on our vision. Tell me when and
6
how you are going do something differently or how we might ap-
7
proach it from a different perspective, and I will listen. How else
8
will I see all the opportunities out there? I know from experience
9
that those opportunities are there, often just not in plain sight.
10
But if everyone is like me, I’ll never see anything but what I al-
11
ready see, just at scale.
12
Widening your vision with the perspective of others might
13
even help you discover more of that unknown human potential
14
in yourself and those around you. I believe one of the biggest fac-
15
tors in sowing seeds of doubt is underestimating your capabili-
16
ties. You think you can’t do something, therefore you can’t. You’d
17
be surprised how often this happens with even the most suc-
18
cessful and smartest people I know. I had the CEO of a company
19
I invested in call me and say, “Do you ever feel like you don’t
20
know what you are doing and you have all these people looking
21
at you for leadership but you doubt yourself because you lack the
22
experience?”
23
I said, “I feel like it all the time. But I don’t blink. I move for-
24 25
ward anyway. And if I can, then I am sure you can too.” We are too often limited by our own minds. Sometimes we
26
can overcome those limitations ourselves. Sometimes we need
27
others to help. Sometimes that doubt can mess with your head.
28
In fact, impostor syndrome refers to successful people who be-
29
lieve that they are not worthy of their success; they underestimate
30
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228 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
themselves and feel like frauds. Of course, anyone who feels that
2
way almost by definition can’t be an impostor, but the phenom-
3
enon is real.
4
It’s not only another reason why you need to celebrate small
5
successes and never give in to self-doubt but also a big reason
6
that people who succeed have surrounded themselves with suc-
7
cessful people who want their success to continue. At the very
8
least you should always, at any given time, have a mentor, be
9
mentoring someone else, and have a group of peers who are at
10
your level with whom to share resources, cross-references, and
11
gut checks.
12
Who is there for you?
13 14 15 16
Relationships Pulse Check
17
List the people you go to for advice and support. This might
18
be an open conversation with team members or with a
19
mentor who has experience where you need it.
20
I create fun groups of people and external partners
21
who work together on a journey with me for a particular
22
project. Take a look at the list. If it seems short or thin, make
23
a new list of people to turn to and do it.
24 25 26 27
3. Give Yourself up for Win-Win Scenarios
28
As I said before, I’m constantly looking for win-win situations—
29
areas of mutual benefit and success. In my opinion, you always
30
want to be giving. For example, when one of my companies
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Life Is a Team Sport
229
was running out of cash, we needed to secure a bridge loan. The
1
bridge loan was the only way that the company would be able to
2
have an opportunity of an exit, which we had worked for years
3
to see.
4
But our venture capitalists didn’t want to put more money
5
in, and I had already deferred my salary for a year. I believed in
6
the company and the team, but there was a very realistic possi-
7
bility we would go bankrupt. That meant not only people be-
8
ing unemployed but also everyone losing all the money we had
9
invested. So I loaned the company more money until we could
10
secure cash to continue operations—a multimillion-dollar bet.
11
Highly risky, but I knew in my gut it was the right decision for
12
me, the team, and our clients so we could execute on the plan we
13
had. If I hadn’t done it, the situation would’ve been a lose-lose
14
for everyone.
15
I did this knowing the risks, but I was confident I could exe-
16
cute the deal and secure the company’s future if I had more time.
17
While you may never be in the position of loaning millions of
18
dollars, the situation brings up an important caveat in giving:
19
you have to do it knowing your giving may not be reciprocated.
20
You need to be okay with the fact that many people won’t show
21
the same in return. Not everyone believes in give-and-take. Some
22
just take and leave you nothing to take back. But it’s important
23
to understand that an element of selflessness is integral to great
24
leadership.
25
I’m okay with this, and you should be too. Please, don’t give
26
because you think it’s going to be reciprocated. Do it because it’s
27
the right thing to do and you want to help people.
28
But when it comes to your team, I cannot stress enough
29
the importance of empowering them to act on your behalf and
30
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230 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
the company’s. I’ve struggled with this at times, failing to real-
2
ize that focusing on helping others is making sure I’m also on the
3
lookout for those who might be able to help or support me. Make
4
sure you have people that you can turn to for advice. Your rela-
5
tionships!
6
Creating a culture of execution is all about empowering
7
others to help you—to use their experiences to find those win-
8
wins you don’t have time to seek out. You don’t want people just
9
checking boxes, doing what they are told. You want to empower
10
them to figure out how you and your company can best execute
11
on the opportunities they see.
12 13
If your people shoot for the moon and miss
14
when executing, support them. If they check
15
the box and miss, fire them.
16 17 18
To do this means you must take more responsibility for execu-
19
tion on a global scale and less responsibility for executing strate-
20
gies and tactics. Execution on a grand scale is the job of the leader
21
first and foremost. As Roger L. Martin wrote in the Harvard
22
Business Review, “Execution is the act of parsing out responsibil-
23
ity for those choices, making sure people actually choose (instead
24
of waffling around in indecision).”4
25
Empowering your people to choose can be as simple as get-
26
ting them to trust that you will support them when they act and
27
not wait for the perfect moment (because it will never come). You
28
don’t need all the data. You just need to prioritize, have confi-
29
dence, know I have your back, and do it. Don’t get stuck worry-
30
ing about the uncertainty. The only thing that matters is that you
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Life Is a Team Sport
231
know you are following that North Star. The essence of effective
1
communication is trust. People need to know that what they say
2
will not be judged, criticized, or ridiculed. They know that their
3
ideas will be respected if not always agreed with.
4
There’s a difference between respect and agreement. When
5
people trust you, they will open up. When they don’t, they will
6
shut down.
7 8 R E L AT I O N S H I P S C H E C K
9
Questions for Self-Reflection
10
One of the first things I do when meeting new people or interviewing
12
potential new employees, CEOs, or entrepreneurs is ask them to tell me
13
about themselves in five minutes.
14
11
15
Try this get-to-know-you exercise yourself with two people you
16
don’t know over the next week:
17
• What are their passions, interests, dreams, and goals?
18
• What keeps them up at night?
19
• What are the strengths they would like to utilize more?
20
• How do they spend their leisure time?
21
When you’ve completed the exercise, reflect! What did you learn?
22
How did your increased understanding influence your interaction and
23
relationship?
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
21
2 3 4 5
Audit Your Life
6 7 8 9 10 11
R
12 ide your winners. Let them ride! Dump your losers. Cut them
13
loose!
14
Investors have heard this advice countless times—and most
15
research supports this position. Yet even the most prolific and
16
seasoned investors ignore it. They fear losing their profits when
17
shares are up, so they sell them; they hate losing money when
18
shares are down, so they hold them. Not because they think
19
things will turn around in time and the company is failing for-
20
ward. They just hate the idea of losing money.
21
Of course they know better. You should ride your winners as
22
long as you can—they’re winners and winners win. You should
23
dump your losers when prudence says quit—they’re losers. Yet so
24
many people don’t, and they not only take money off the table
25
by cashing in too soon but they also lose more money as the los-
26
ers keep tanking.
27 28
What do you do? You don’t have to have a stock portfolio to
29
understand. Answer these questions:
30 233
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234 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
●●
Have you ever held on to something that was worth less
2
than when you started in hopes that things would turn
3
around, only to find yourself deeper in the hole?
4
●●
Have you ever held onto something that was not worth
5
as much as you thought and hoped the value would in-
6
crease only to find the market for it—and thus the value
7
it once had—was gone?
8
●●
9
Have you ever refused to get rid of something everyone said was costing you—and you knew it—but you still
10
defended holding on to it?
11 12
Most of us—including me—can answer yes to at least one of
13
those questions. Now try this. Ask those same questions about the
14
people you surround yourself with personally and professionally:
15 16
●●
than when you started in hopes that those people would
17
turn around, only to find yourself deeper in the hole?
18 19
●●
crease only to find the value they once had was gone?
21 23 24
Have you ever held onto people who were not worth as much as you thought and hoped their value would in-
20 22
Have you ever held on to people who were worth less
●●
Have you ever refused to get rid of people everyone said were costing you—and you knew it—but you still defended holding on to them?
25
Does that make you uncomfortable? It should! But those
26
who master relationships as part of execution know they must
27
surround themselves with inspiring, uplifting people and stay
28
away from people and interactions that bring them down. Once
29
you’ve got your team around you, you’re leveraging talents, and
30
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Audit Your Life
235
you’re creating win-win situations, it’s time to make sure you are
1
continually assessing those people in your network.
2
I get it. It’s so hard to let go of things in our lives like stocks
3
or a ratty old college sweatshirt. Now imagine how hard it must
4
be to take the same advice about people. People we might still be
5
passionate about and still have emotional connections to. People
6
who once delivered for our business but not anymore. People
7
who maybe helped us through, saved us, made us see the light
8
once upon a time. But you must.
9
The most significant factors in your life are the people around
10
you—your relationships. If you change nothing else in your life
11
when it comes to execution than the people you spend your time
12
with, you will have increased your chances of success tenfold.
13
Which is why every year I don’t just take stock of the things
14
in my life. I take stock of the people I spend the most time with. I
15
arrange them into categories: those who lift me up and those who
16
bring me down. The people who radiate positivity and energize,
17
challenge, motivate, inspire, and support me? They’re my win-
18
ners! Those who ooze negativity and drain my energy? I would
19
never call them losers, but they aren’t positioning me to win. I
20
need to spend less time with them or even let them go for now if
21
not forever.
22
This process is what I call a life audit, and it is a huge key to
23
optimizing relationships to execute at the highest level.
24 25
Audit, Audit, Audit
26
I remember the first person I audited out of my life: a close
28
friend from college. We used to have the kind of wide-ranging
29
27
30
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236 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
conversations that always left me feeling invigorated. Sure we
2
talked about the problems we experienced in life and at work,
3
but we never got bogged down too long in the negative, and we
4
used the time to try to solve those problems.
5
Then, things changed.
6
At first, it was only the occasional comment about a kid’s
7
teacher, a client, or our waiter. But soon enough, she seemed to be
8
talking badly about other people all the time—people who were
9
our friends! Every discussion about every topic seemed to turn
10
negative. She rarely celebrated or led with the positive, if at all.
11
Our conversations became, in a word, toxic—draining and ex-
12
hausting, which in turn affected my mood at home or at work.
13
I tried to talk to my friend about it, keeping things positive and
14
asking if something was wrong, telling her that all our negative
15
conversations were becoming too much to bear.
16
“Is there something you aren’t telling me? Did something
17
happen that I should know about? Do you really feel this way? Is
18
there something I can do?”
19
I offered to listen and tried to steer the conversation toward
20
positive and future focused topics. Nothing worked. I struggled
21
with what to do. I wanted to be a good friend and support her,
22
but the negative impact it was having on me was too great.
23
So, I audited her out. I started distancing myself from her,
24
turning down invitations to get together. Could I have stuck
25
around longer? Perhaps. But I reminded myself of the old joke:
26
Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I do this! Well, don’t do that! I was
27
sure she was saying something negative about me to someone
28
else as a result of my audit, but I couldn’t worry about that. I had
29
tried in good faith to salvage what we once had. It was hard, and
30
yes, at first, I felt bad. It was not the easy choice. But this is where
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Audit Your Life
237
relationships need the power of resilience: you need to overcome
1
the emotional connections that can blind or bind you to this tox-
2
icity. We can’t always “fix” bad relationships, especially when the
3
other person doesn’t understand something needs fixing.
4
I resolved to let go of my friend to give myself more time and
5
energy for those in my life who were going where I was going,
6
who lifted me up, who shared positivity, and who saw possibili-
7
ties and hope even in hardship.
8
Some of my friends think it’s a little bit ruthless the way I toss
9
out the negative people from my life, but I don’t see it that way.
10
Because it’s not just about eliminating the negative. It’s about ac-
11
centuating the positive. Sure, there are limits to this concept and
12
places where complexities and challenges arise. In these areas, it’s
13
important to look at setting boundaries:
14 15
●●
●●
●●
1260128520_perell_final.indb 237
Familial relationships bring a specific set of complexities.
16
You might have parents who are very negative people and
17
who criticize you often, and you need to draw boundar-
18
ies and limit the time you spend with them. If you have
19
a toxic, abusive relationship with your parents, you may
20
need to distance them from your life completely.
21
You may have other family members who aren’t always
22
a plus, but you aren’t able to remove them from your life
23
because they are deeply connected to the people you love.
24
You just have to minimize the impact they have on you
25
directly.
26
You could have friends, once pluses, who are going
27
through extremely difficult times beyond their control,
28
people who are dealing with such life events as an illness,
29
the death of someone close to them, or even the loss of a
30
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238 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
job. They need you and sometimes your positivity to help
2
them through the negative. You need to keep them close.
3 4
●●
You can’t use life audits to eliminate workplace responsibilities with people who are negative.
5 6
Simply put, you need to set boundaries for yourself when do-
7
ing life audits. There is no way to eliminate all negativity from
8
your life. But by bringing in more positivity, you can mitigate the
9
effects of the negative parts you cannot control. The choice you
10
do have is whether to have a negative or positive attitude when
11
responding to others. Staying positive is a choice—not always an
12
easy one in some relationships but still a choice to not let the neg-
13
ativity affect you. Choose positivity. I know you can.
14 15
Accentuate the Positive and Eliminate the Negative
16 17 18 19
Life audits are a powerful process to remove the negative and
20
surround yourself with amazing people who allow you to step
21
into your own greatness. That’s how you hear the call of your
22
own potential and get to where you want to go. While this might
23
sound like the kind of clinical, right-brain madness a tech entre-
24
preneur might come up with, it’s actually a very heart-centered
25
process! Through it you can create a more productive, inspiring,
26
and emotionally fulfilling life.
27
That sounds nice, right? It’s all about being active, engaged,
28
and fully present in living the life you’ve got. We can’t always
29
control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond.
30
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Audit Your Life
239
To keep us having faith that whatever happens can be for the
1
best, that we are capable of amazing things, and in spite of what
2
we read on social media, that the world is full of love, generos-
3
ity, and opportunity, we need to focus on the right relationships.
4
That said, it is never easy to let people go. In fact, it is usually
5
hard and painful.
6
This is no less true at work, which is why we struggle with
7
firing people who may be winners in some ways but are doomed
8
by their negatives.
9
Most times, life audits are not black-and-white in terms of
10
who is a positive or negative. I wrestled with this when I first set the
11
process in motion at work. Running my first company in Hawaii,
12
I felt extremely close to the people around me. Many of these
13
people spent more time with me than they spent their families
14
and friends. They were relationships that touched me every day
15
and thus had the greatest positive and negative effects on me and
16
the business. I needed to be honest about who had which effect.
17
Or consider this scenario: The third hire at a small startup I
18
invested in was beloved for his personality by the two partners
19
who had hired him as their sales leader. His humor and relent-
20
less storytelling got them through many long nights. He never
21
sold much, but he helped them more than the bottom line, and
22
that was important. But now that the company was growing, the
23
very thing that had kept the partners going in the past was a dis-
24
traction to the people who were selling. He had become a drag on
25
the business, and despite efforts to reel him in and get him to fo-
26
cus, there was just no sign of change. They finally let him go. Un-
27
fortunately, they lost two talented people before they acted. They
28
weren’t so much lured away by better jobs or salary but by the
29 30
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240 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
inability of their leaders to address a situation that was affect-
2
ing the culture and morale—a situation they knew had to be ad-
3
dressed.
4
Those leaders were blinded and bound to this relationship
5
without any perspective for what it did for them, and thus they
6
did not audit when they needed to. They traded better execution
7
overall for blind loyalty to one person.
8
Now consider this scenario: A client had a killer sales
9
executive—a woman who hit her numbers and usually beyond
10
every month. Rarely did anyone equal or top her. Yet she had the
11
exact opposite effect of the sales leader at the company I just de-
12
scribed. While she built up the bottom line, she brought everyone
13
else down. Her contribution to the gross sales was beyond com-
14
pare, but her pessimistic behavior had a negative impact on the
15
entire organization. She affected morale and in turn overall sales.
16
She was a winner on the big board but toxic to those around
17
her—no one wanted to work with, for, or near her. Her sales
18
numbers in no way justified this, and after all intervention failed,
19
she was fired in less than a year.
20
Those leaders were initially blinded and bound to the relation-
21
ship for its gross numbers but without any perspective for what it
22
did to the company overall, and thus they waited too long to audit.
23
Of course you shouldn’t avoid difficult or challenging people
24
or work styles. Often these are the people from whom you can
25
learn or improve the most. I have tried to coach individuals who
26
have worked for me in the past on how to better work with chal-
27
lenging individuals. I have also used leadership coaches, facil-
28
itators, and training and feedback tools so that we can better
29
communicate as a team and improve as leaders, managers, co-
30
workers, and employees. But too much of anything—like all the
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241
traits in this book—can easily become a negative you need to at-
1
tend to in yourself or audit if it is in others.
2
If you are open and honest about what is not working and
3
if you continually check in with updates on those areas and it’s
4
still not working, you can let people go knowing you did all you
5
could. That knowledge diminishes feelings of guilt. Ask yourself:
6
“Did I do everything that was in my control to help them be suc-
7
cessful?” If so, time to part ways. You will still feel the loss, but
8
the rest was on them. You can be responsible only for what is in
9
your control. Then it is up to the individual to do the part in their
10
control.
11
I challenge you to look at this closely and eliminate this nega-
12
tivity from your life. Letting someone go is one of the most chal-
13
lenging parts of business and life, and it should never be easy or
14
taken lightly. But it’s a powerful process that has been one of
15
the keys to my success. Great people like surrounding themselves
16
with greatness—talented people who make them better and who
17
offer support, challenges, and feedback. Those are the key rela-
18
tionships, and they are not always the same year to year:
19
●●
20
Sometimes positive relationships take a turn, like that
21
sales leader, and you need to decide if you are going to
22
continue to invest in them or let them go. ●●
23
Sometimes negative people turn around, and you need to
24
see that. For example, I would love to welcome my first
25
audited friend back in my life if she became the person I
26
once knew again.
27
Think of it this way: you’re not rejecting people but reject-
28
ing their impact and behavior. The door can always be reopened
29
if things change.
30
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242 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2
Don’t underestimate the potential of being with
3
someone who demands the very best of you.
4 5
Being with people who believe in you and provide the strength
6
and inspiration you need to make your dreams a reality is critical
7
so don’t be afraid of answering these questions:
8
●●
9
drain your energy, or bring you down? The more you sur-
10
round yourself with people who drain your energy or foster
11 12 13 14 15 16
How much time do you spend with people who deplete you,
doubt, the less you are called to step into your true potential. ●●
How much time do you spend with people who support you, increase your energy, and inspire you to action? The more you surround yourself with amazing people, the more you’re called to step into your greatness.
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29
Relationships Pulse Check Think life audits sound cold and clinical? Can’t stomach treating people this way? Chances are, you’re just making excuses and avoiding asking difficult questions. Try this exercise as new people enter your life and you look at them and the people already around you. Answer these questions: Who strengthens you, and who drains you? Who helps you succeed, and who highlights your failures? Does the idea of spending time with a person excite your spirit or take away your energy? Then, decide who is worth your time and who isn’t.
30
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243
Remember: Your time is your most valuable asset, so use what
1
you do have for the people who bring out the positive in you.
2
Relationships take time and energy to build, and they can there-
3
fore be difficult to let go of when necessary, especially if the emo-
4
tional bond is strong.
5
Let’s take a look at this for you right now and do a short life
6
audit together of the closest relationships in your life.
7 8
These Are Your Relationships; These Are Your Relationships on Audit
9
One of the most enduring rules for business and life comes from
12
Jim Rohn who stated that the people whom you spend the most
13
time with shape who you are: “You are the average of the five
14
people you spend the most time with.” I’ve heard everyone from
15
Tony Robbins (an acolyte of Rohn’s) to Tim Ferriss repeat this
16
advice, and I’m a big believer too.
17
10 11
18
Let’s do it for your top five: ●●
List the five people you spend the most time with.
●●
Look at the names—really think about your relationship
19 20 21
to them. ●●
22
Who helps you see the amazing world of possibilities?
23
Put a plus next to them. ●●
24
Who deflates your vision or adds negativity? Put a minus
25
next to them.
26 27
How many people have pluses? How many people have mi-
28
nuses? In my experience, the answer is generally pretty clear.
29
What if you have too much negative and not enough posi-
30
tive? Here are two tips:
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244 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
●●
Proactively seek new relationships.
2
●●
Associate with people who are different from you.
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Relationships Pulse Check Having trouble with giving out negatives? Answer these questions: Have you ever had to cut anyone out of your life? That was your first audit! What happened?
10 11 12
Proactively Seek New Relationships
13
Seek out those who inspire you at work and spend time with
14
them. Build a relationship with them apart from your direct job.
15
Send a note, ask them to coffee, or simply approach them at a
16
work event. Perhaps it’s a mentor who has knowledge and wis-
17
dom or just someone whom you respect. Perhaps it’s a colleague
18
or friend. Maybe you can attend industrywide events or take
19
classes on things that interest you to find new people. After all,
20
in order to surround yourself with inspiring people, you have to
21
find them to connect with them.
22 23
Associate with People Who Are Different from You
24
Find people who have succeeded where you have failed, and try
25
to learn from their journey. Chances are, you also have some-
26
thing to offer them. Remember what I said about differences:
27
while our instinct is to surround ourselves with people who are
28
similar to us, it’s also important to branch out and converse with
29
people who may have a different approach.
30
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245
That last point is essential to remember in our fractured po-
1
litical world in which we find it more and more difficult to associ-
2
ate with, let alone have deep bonds with, the people we disagree
3
with. Remember how I said listening only to people who live,
4
look, sound, and think the way you do in the workplace dulls in-
5
novation and execution? This is true in all parts of your life. You
6
want people to test your ideas and beliefs and challenge your as-
7
sumptions. The goal isn’t to just be successful when you execute.
8
The goal is to keep being successful—to keep knowing what you
9
don’t know and grow!
10 11 12
Please do not audit people out of your life simply
13
because you disagree with their points of view.
14 15 16
Don’t audit people who disagree with you. Engage them and
17
let them challenge you. It’s perhaps more important than ever that we truly take the
18
time to listen to understand—to make a concerted effort to get
19
to know people as individuals and see the power in surround-
20
ing ourselves with people who think and act differently than we
21
do. Not just for intellectual curiosity—though as an avid trav-
22
eler, I respect that—but for building bigger networks that can tap
23
growing markets domestically and globally.
24
Try at least to understand what others who disagree with you
25
are saying by actually engaging them. Surrounding ourselves only
26
with people who think and look like us only reaffirms what we
27
already know. That’s just another example of our keeping within
28
our existing confirmation bias. That doesn’t lead to growth in
29 30
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246 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
our personal lives. That doesn’t lead to seeing possibilities and
2
considering points of view that you might have never seen before.
3
Does that mean there will naturally be more conflict in those
4
teams and relationships, because of those differences? Sure! And
5
that is a good thing—as long as people are respectful and have
6
the skills to handle situations involving conflict. If you and your
7
team don’t, make sure you learn the tools necessary to have tough
8
conversations. Like an equation, minimizing differences just
9
maximizes dissatisfaction. You want to create a workplace that
10
inspires everyone to work authentically and to appreciate authen-
11
ticity in others. That requires collaboration and cooperation—
12
and tolerance—to address any conflicts head-on.
13 14
R E L AT I O N S H I P S C H E C K
15
Questions for Self-Reflection
16 17
This time, your reflection is not as much a reflection back as a challenge
18
moving forward. Expand your life audit to all aspects of your life. I chal-
19
lenge you to audit your life for at least 30 days.
20
Identify those people who support you, increase your energy, and
21
inspire you to action. Then, identify those people who bring you down,
22
deplete your energy, and are a negative influence. Reaffirm your con-
23
nection to the former, and audit the latter.
24
This doesn’t mean eliminate or ignore the naysayers from your life.
25
Just distance yourself from their negativity, and see what a positive im-
26
pact it has on how you execute.
27 28 29 30
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1
22
2 3 4 5
Sharing Your Success
6 7 8 9
“
T
10 hank you, Kim,” my colleague said, poking her head in the
11
conference room before my meeting started.
12
“You’re welcome! What’s up? Do you need me for some-
13 14
thing? You’re not part of this meeting, are you?” We both laughed. “Nothing’s up,” she said. “I just wanted to
15
say thank you for all you do and do for me and us here.” Then
16
she left. Just like that. The whole conversation took about 30 sec-
17
onds. Thirty seconds to give me one of the most moving experi-
18
ences I have ever had at work. No rhyme, no reason, no ulterior
19
motive, no “Well, now that you asked, there is something I need.”
20
Just a “thank you” to let me know she was grateful to have me
21
in her life.
22
There is always cause and effect in business and in life. What
23
you put out into the world comes back to you. Maybe you’ve
24
heard other versions of this line before. My friend likes to say,
25
“Karma is a boomerang.” A colleague always reminds me, “Do
26
good, and good will come for you.” Simple words backed by sim-
27
ple actions are very powerful.
28
My colleague’s act of gratitude had the power to make my day:
29
a simple act of kindness that made me smile through another
30
247
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248 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
meeting and still makes me smile today. Too many people create
2
relationships when they need them or to get something accom-
3
plished but let them go when they don’t. What happens then is
4
exactly what happens if you don’t service your car—change the
5
oil, rotate the tires, check all the parts—to ensure that it runs ef-
6
ficiently and smoothly: it breaks down. Think about what hap-
7
pens to your body if you stop exercising or working out: you lose
8
the physical, mental, and emotional benefits that you were get-
9
ting from exercising.
10
The same is true about relationships: They need care and at-
11
tention. Without regular maintenance, they can break down, too.
12
As Professor Robert Waldinger said about the epic 75-year Har-
13
vard study of happiness and the power of relationships he led to
14
completion: “Relationships are messy and they’re complicated,
15
and the hard work of tending to family and friends, it’s not sexy
16
or glamorous. It’s also lifelong. It never ends.”1
17
In other words, you have to invest in relationships—always.
18
I believe deeply what Paul Bloom, a clinical psychology pro-
19
fessor at Yale University, said about kindness: “The key to the
20
happy life, it seems, is the good life, a life with sustained rela-
21
tionships, challenging work, and connections to community.”2
22
For me, everything—every action and especially every relation-
23
ship—is a long-term play. It’s not just about getting a deal go-
24
ing or a project off the ground. It’s about the chance to build new
25
and lasting relationships. Often, this doesn’t help me in the short
26
term, but I know it will in the long term.
27
The long-term relationships are the ones who keep us go-
28
ing when our North Star seems dim—cloudy days and stressful
29
times. Every one of us needs at least one person (a spouse, a part-
30
ner, a best friend, or someone else) who supports us and is there
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Sharing Your Success
249
for us unconditionally. Who won’t judge us, try to teach us a les-
1
son, or offer feedback unless we ask for it. Who will tell us it will
2
be okay and pull us back to thinking positively. Who will always
3
have our back, no questions asked.
4 5 6
Tips for Maintaining Relationships
7 8
In sustaining your connections to people, you must know what is
9
needed to maintain great relationships that are authentic to you
10
and make sure those actions are taken. Sometimes this is as easy as
11
remembering in all the craziness of life to perform acts of kindness
12
(like the woman who poked her head in the conference room)
13
that brighten your day and the day of those receiving them.
14
Here are other tactics I remind myself to do regularly with all
15
my relationships. Some of you will be better at these things than
16
others. Not all of them will work for you, and none of them are
17
easy to sustain in our time-crunched schedules. But gestures like
18
these go a long way to making people feel acknowledged, valued,
19
and nurtured. The key is finding a method that is authentic to
20
who you are and works for how you live:
21 22
●●
Send a handwritten note of thanks or congratulations.
23
●●
Remind people you’re thinking of them—and make time
24
to connect!
25
Don’t make excuses about how everyone is too busy to
26
be disturbed.
27
Acknowledge and show appreciation for people at every
28
opportunity.
29
Include others “at the table” to connect.
30
●●
●●
●●
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250 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Send a Handwritten Note of Thanks or Congratulations
2
An e-mail is fine if you must, but paper is best—even a text, as
3
long as it is personal! But paper has a power that no other tech-
4
nology can match.
5 7
Remind People You’re Thinking of Them—and Make Time to Connect!
8
I always try to call people when I’m driving, especially when I
9
am on familiar roads or in an Uber so I’m not distracted. I know
10
some people use that time to continue working from the of-
11
fice, but I use that time to reconnect with people I love first and
12
foremost!
6
13
If you’re in a crowded space, send a personal text to recon-
14
nect, and let your friends and family know you are thinking of
15
them. Both my parents do this to me often (without the expecta-
16
tion that I will respond). It reminds me of the support and love
17
they have for me.
18 20
Don’t Make Excuses About How Everyone Is Too Busy to Be Disturbed
21
If they are real relationships, they will be thrilled to hear from
22
you. I know I am. Think of someone who connected with you re-
23
cently. How do you feel when you get an unexpected communi-
24
cation from them?
19
25
I got a call from a friend whom I’ve worked with on and off
26
for years. When I picked up, he said, “Hey, Kim, I only have 15
27
minutes, but I just wanted to call you and see how you are and
28
let you know I was thinking about you.” He had no other objec-
29
tive or purpose other than to connect. I love it when this happens.
30
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251
Even if I can’t have a conversation with them at that moment, it
1
means so much to hear from them.
2 3
Acknowledge People at Every Opportunity
4
This includes remembering birthdays and celebrating wins
5
and successes with others, as we covered in Trait 2, “Passion.”
6
If you’re not good at remembering important dates, make sure
7
they’re in your calendar.
8 9
But don’t wait for that big moment to connect. Just as we should celebrate small wins, recognition doesn’t need a trophy.
10
I’m not talking about the workplace equivalent of handing out
11
medals for participation that is ruining competition in kids’ sports.
12
I’m talking about what Ken Blanchard urged us to do years ago:
13
“Catch people doing something right.” Then, recognize them.
14 15
Include and Introduce Others at the Table
16
I’m always trying to figure out whom I can introduce to whom and
17
connect others who can support, help, or work with one another.
18
But while many of us are good at connecting people we know, few
19
of us think about creating those connections around the table—be
20
it dinner, drinks, or daily meetings—when we are there.
21
We tend to compartmentalize or silo people and teams
22
(“Why does accounting need to be at the inventory meeting?”
23
“Why does inventory need to be at the IT discussion?”) or situa-
24
tions (“Why would I invite him to meet them—they are from two
25
different parts of my life?”). The connections may seem incon-
26
gruous at first, but if the people share the same values and goals,
27
then being included feels great. Plus, a table is a powerful uniter
28
of people. It’s an invitation to “break bread” together and solve
29 30
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252 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
problems, create opportunities to build and grow the relation-
2
ships you already have, and create new ones.
3 4 5
Relationships Pulse Check
6
For one week, reach out proactively and positively to
7
one person every day. At the end of the week, ask your-
8
self, “How do I feel? How has reaching out to other people
9
changed my relationships?”
10 11 12
No, Seriously, Connect Now!
13 14
I challenge you right now to take a moment to think about what
15
ways you could reach out to others and stay better connected to
16
the people in your life. Not all of your relationships will change.
17
Some conversations might not end as positively as they started
18
(making the relationship ripe for an audit). But most will, and
19
I guarantee that you will feel the effect this has on you. Because
20
you need people—not only to scale your vision but also to cre-
21
ate new visions that lead to bigger and better things for everyone.
22
As I said, the traits of execution are interdependent and pro-
23
gressive. We’ve gone from vision to passion to action to resilience
24
to relationships, and if the progression continued you’d be back to
25
vision. Does that mean you would need to create a new vision?
26
Sometimes. But often it means an elevated version of the vision
27
you started with.
28
When I started my first company at that kitchen table in
29
Hawaii, I believed I would be successful, but I never thought I’d
30
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Sharing Your Success
253
be where I am today. But as my vision and the company grew,
1
I learned just how much I valued the relationships I had that got
2
me to my first million and then the first sale of my company and
3
then the next. If I had gotten lost in my vision and tried to go it
4
alone—bringing on people only for the most mundane or tempo-
5
rary tasks and burning through them like firewood—I might not
6
be at that kitchen table still, but I’d surely not be the global CEO
7
and angel investor I am today.
8 9
At every point, I needed relationships—the ones that affected me and my business daily and the ones I maintained with no im-
10
mediate need beyond a desire to stay connected—to grow per-
11
sonally and professionally.
12
I’ve seen the opposite approach to relationships too often. I
13
had a choice to invest in two companies that on paper seemed to
14
be completely equal. Both were led by dynamic entrepreneurs,
15
clear in their vision, passionate about everything they did, delib-
16
erate in their actions, and steadfastly resilient. I decided to make
17
bets on each of them. One of the CEOs was a team player, and
18
years later his company had an IPO for over a billion dollars. The
19
other company ended up selling for a fraction of that because
20
the CEO never listened to anyone else.
21
It was his way or the highway.
22
There is nothing wrong with a visionary CEO leading the
23
charge, but when you get stuck in your vision and shut out rela-
24
tionships, you can easily get lost listening to yourself. That’s why
25
you need others around you. There is nothing wrong with asking
26
everyone their opinion on everything and ultimately doing what
27
you want to do, but you must listen—and not just to the answers
28
that you want to hear.
29 30
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254 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
So I beg of you, when you reach out to people, make it about
2
them. Remember the power of asking questions. Listen to the
3
answers.
4
People who share their failures, successes, and experiences
5
with you are the ones who can help steer your vision to more suc-
6
cess. These are the relationships that balance visionaries who are
7
inclined to keep their hands on the wheel and control everything.
8
I’m not saying you won’t be successful if you do not listen to oth-
9
ers, but it will be a lonely existence, and the odds of scaling be-
10
yond your bedroom, garage, or kitchen table are slim.
11
I’ll say it one last time: I would not be where I am today with-
12
out all the people I’ve worked with, worked for, and have become
13
friends with. Great relationships don’t just help you execute.
14
They will also make you happier and healthier! Think of them as
15
your ultimate, crucial vitamins. What are you waiting for? Build
16
your network, leverage the talents of others, seek to understand
17
those around you, look for win-wins, surround yourself with in-
18
spiring people, and stay away from those who bring you down!
19
Good relationships aren’t a luxury. They are a necessity for
20
execution and success. And a rewarding, fulfilling, and wonder-
21
ful one at that.
22 23
R E L AT I O N S H I P S C H E C K
24
Questions for Self-Reflection
25 26
If you haven’t already, please take the time to carry out the actions and
27
complete the self-reflection exercises in this section.
28
What have you learned about relationships and execution?
29
What have you learned about yourself in this section?
30
What will you now do differently?
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Relationships—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
255
1 2
Relationships—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
3 4 5
RE L AT I O NS HI P S: RE FLEC T I O N S A N D
6
MOV I NG FO R WA RD ●●
7
No one would be where they are today without the people
8
they’ve worked with, worked for, and have become friends
9
with. ●●
10
You must understand the importance of relationships in your
11
success by learning how to grow, inspire, and leverage your
12
network. ●●
13
Open yourself up to a variety of perspectives and people
14
building an authentic culture that encourages openness,
15
individuality, respect, and understanding, and a sense of
16
togetherness. ●●
17
Be careful to realize that the right culture is one in which
18
people feel safe to voice their opinions without fear of re-
19
crimination or disrespect. ●●
20
Are the people you spend the most time with lifting you up
21
or holding you down? ●●
22
Discover how to minimize the impact of negative relation-
23
ships and maximize the positive ones using life audits. ●●
24
Find out how to foster and maintain relationships to help you
25
reach your goals. ●●
26
Always remember: Good relationships aren’t a luxury for ex-
27
ecution. They are a necessity. And a rewarding, fulfilling, and
28
wonderful one at that. Share your success!
29 30
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256 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19
BE FO RE YO U G O: WHAT ’S T H E S C EN A R I O? This scenario is designed to help you think about everything you have learned in this section. Please take a few minutes to complete this exercise as best you can. I promise it will be worth it. If you get stuck or you are not sure about your answer, go back and review the section. Remember, there is no right or wrong answer here—this is just a way of applying your new knowledge about relationships. Often it is easier to give advice to someone else, when you’re not wrapped up in your own world, full of all its complexities. Sarah is an entrepreneur, running a new clothing business. She’s been trying to get her new business off the ground for six months. She has six key employees, and the company is growing, but Sarah is really struggling. She’s working long hours. She’s lonely and burned out. How can you use what you’ve learned about relationships to help Sarah move forward and execute on her dream?
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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Conclusion: Creating an Execution Blueprint for Your Success
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
C
11 ongratulations! You’ve reached the starting point for execut-
12
ing your dreams. By now, you should have already taken the
13
first steps to mastering the five traits and turning them into habits
14
to reach the center point of the execution.
15
I just have one last question for you before I let you go:
16
How do you define success?
17
I define success as the number of lives I can positively influ-
18
ence. Since I think I can always influence more lives, I don’t think
19
I’ve reached my full success.
20
I believe in conscious capitalism and the idea that a business
21
is a vehicle to change the lives of your employees, your customers,
22
your communities, and the people you care about. I think that if
23
we are going to be fortunate enough to be successful, we need to
24
show that generosity and good fortune to those who don’t have
25
access to it. This is why my company volunteers thousands of
26
hours a year to the projects we care about. That’s how you create
27
something larger than yourself that can grow and multiply and
28
sustain itself long after you are gone.
29 30
That’s legacy. 257
1260128520_perell_final.indb 257
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258
1
All that should extend to your personal life too. My grandma
2
always told me, “Those who have the least give the most.” Even if
3
you don’t have the least, operate from that principle.
4
My parents did, and I learned from their example. They
5
worked hard to raise three kids while running their own busi-
6
nesses, and while we never had a lot, they were committed to shar-
7
ing what they had. They were always looking for ways to help.
8
Remember the kitchen table at which I made the loan pitch and
9
where business talk happened every night? It was also a place
10
where everyone was invited to come and share a meal. No one
11
was turned away from my house. My parents even invited a refu-
12
gee couple from Cambodia to live in our family room on a pull-
13
out couch for six weeks. They didn’t speak English, so we all
14
communicated using body language, miming, and sound effects.
15
Approaching 40 years later, this couple is still a part of my
16
family’s life and community. The couple now has kids and grand-
17
kids. My parents’ generosity taught me by example how we all
18
have the power to change someone’s life for the better.
19
In the end, you can build, sell, and profit all you want. You
20
can have millions—billions! But dollars alone cannot be your
21
measure of success. Please measure success in the kindness and
22
generosity you show toward others and the hope you have for
23
them. As you master execution and find success, make sure you
24
define it compassionately.
25 26 27
Love may not be all we need, but the more we have in our hearts, the better our future will be. That’s your true legacy.
28 29 30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 258
7/12/18 12:09 PM
Acknowledgments
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
I am deeply grateful to all the people who helped me achieve my
9
vision for this book from its first outlines to the finished manu-
10
script to the final book.
11
Thank you to . . .
12
My husband John, for your unconditional love, support, and
13
willingness to let me share the stories of our wonderful life to-
14
gether that are the heart of this book.
15 16
My twins Elle and John, for your superhero strength and for
17
reminding me every day that miracles do happen. My parents, for being there every step of the way to inspire
18
me, support me, and love me—and always encouraging me to
19
chase my dreams.
20 21
My twin sister Tracy, for being a great sounding board and
22
remembering the childhood stories I had forgotten. My brother Mark, for his endless support along the way.
23
Sarajane, for our lifelong friendship—we’ve come so far yet
24 25
things still stay the same.
26
Sherry, for reading every draft of this book, providing great
27
feedback, and making every chapter better. Amanda, for being with me personally and professionally ev-
28
ery step of the way for over 20 years—I am so grateful to have
29
you in my life.
30 259
1260128520_perell_final.indb 259
7/12/18 12:09 PM
260 Acknowledgments
1
Liv, for helping me find my voice when I needed it most.
2
My wonderful friends, for your many years supporting my
3 4 5
relentless pursuit of my dreams—it means the world to me. My extended family, colleagues, and employees, for your continued support and encouragement.
6
All of my mentors, for your guidance throughout my career.
7
Chris, for encouraging me to always think bigger and for be-
8 9 10 11 12
ing my biggest cheerleader. Heidi and Darren, for getting this published and launched— and putting such a powerful team behind it. My incredible editorial director Donya and the entire team at McGraw-Hill, for producing such a terrific book.
13
The great leaders that I had an opportunity to work with and
14
for—and all the companies I have been fortunate to invest in—
15
for allowing me to learn from you.
16 17
And finally, for you and all my readers, I am so thankful for all of you—you are why I do this!
18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 260
7/12/18 12:09 PM
Notes
1 2 3 4 5
Chapter 1
1. Robert Kaplan and David Norton, “The Office of Strategy Management,” Harvard Business Review, October 2005. 2. Chris Zook and James Allen, Profit from the Core, Harvard Business Press, Bain & Company, Boston, 2010. 3. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Sun-Protective Behavior Rates,” CDC.gov, https://www.cdc.gov/cancer/skin/statistics/behavior.htm, accessed December 1, 2017.
6
Chapter 2
10
7 8 9
1. John F. Kennedy, “We Choose to Go to the Moon,” speech, Rice University, Houston, Texas, September 12, 1962, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g25 G1M4EXrQ.
11 12
Chapter 3
1. Erin M. Shackell and Lionel G. Standing, “Mind Over Matter: Mental Training Increases Physical Strength,” North American Journal of Psychology, March 2007, pp. 189–200.
13
Chapter 4
15
14
1. Edwin Locke and P. Latham, “Building a Practically Useful Theory of Goal Setting and Task Motivation: A 35-Year Odyssey,” American Psychologist, October 2002. 2. David Kohl, paper presented at the New Century Farmer conference, Des Moines, Iowa, July 10, 2012.
16 17
Chapter 7
18
1. Armand Mensen, William Marshall, and Guilio Tononi, “EEG Differentiation Analysis and Stimulus Set Meaningfulness,” Frontiers in Psychology, October 2017, p. 8.
19 20
Chapter 8
1. Steve Crabtree, “Worldwide, 13% of Employees Are Engaged at Work,” Gallup, October 8, 2013, http://www.gallup.com/poll/165269/worldwide-employees -engaged-work.aspx. 2. Thomas Clausen, Danish National Research Centre for the Working Environment, “Feeling Emotionally Attached to Work Leads to Improved Well-Being,” Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine, October 20, 2015.
21 22 23 24
Chapter 11
1. J. Ferrari, J. Díaz-Morales, J. O’Callaghan, K. Diaz, and D. Argumedo, “Frequent Behavioral Delay Tendencies by Adults: International Prevalence Rates of Chronic Procrastination,” Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, vol. 38, no. 4 (July 2007), pp. 458–464. 2. Henri C. Schouwenburg, “Procrastinators and Fear of Failure: An Exploration of Reasons for Procrastination,” European Journal of Personality, vol. 6, no. 3 (September 1992), pp. 225–236.
25 26 27 28
Chapter 13
29
1. Innosight, “Creative Disruption Whips Through Corporate America,” 2016, https:// www.innosight.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/creative-destruction-whips -through-corporate-america_final2015.pdf.
30
261
1260128520_perell_final.indb 261
7/12/18 12:09 PM
262 Notes
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19
Chapter 16
1. Allison Schrager, “Failed Entrepreneurs Find More Success the Second Time,” Bloomberg.com, July 28, 2014, https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles /2014-07-28/study-failed-entrepreneurs-find-success-the-second-time-around. 2. Sarah Bond and Dr. Gillian Shapiro, “Tough at the Top: New Rules of Resilience for Women’s Leadership Success,” November 2014, https://forbusinessake.files .wordpress.com/2014/11/tough_at_the_top.pdf. 3. Accenture, “Women Leaders and Resilience: Perspectives from the C-Suite,” March 2010, https://www.accenture.com/_acnmedia/Accenture/Conversion-Assets /DotCom/Documents/About-Accenture/PDF/1/Accenture-Womens-Research -Women-Leaders-and-Resilience3.pdf#zoom=50.
Chapter 17
1. Statistic Brain, “Startup Business Failure Rate by Industry,” May 5, 2017, https:// www.statisticbrain.com/startup-failure-by-industry/. 2. Fred Lambert, “Elon Musk Says He Will Perform Same Tasks as Tesla Workers Getting Injured in the Factory,” Electrek.com, June 2, 2017, https://electrek .co/2017/06/02/elon-musk-tesla-injury-factory/.
Chapter 18
1. Charles Duhhigg, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, Random House, New York, 2014, p. 129. 2. Cameron Huddleston, “More Than Half of Americans Have Less Than $1,000 in Savings in 2017,” September 12, 2017, https://www.gobankingrates.com/saving -money/half-americans-less-savings-2017/.
Chapter 19
1. Charles Riborg Mann, A Study of Engineering Education, Carnegie Foundation, 1918, pp. 106–107. 2. Center for Creative Leadership, Why Executives Derail: Perspectives Across Time and Culture, Academy of Management Executives, Briarcliff Manor, New York, 1995. 3. Robert Waldinger, “What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness,” TEDxBeaconStreet, November 2015, https://www.ted.com/talks /robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study _on_happiness.
Chapter 20
25
1. Jane Miller and Amy Adkins, “Women Want Close Relationships at Work,” Gallup Business Journal, December 14, 2016, http://news.gallup.com/businessjournal/199349/women-close-relationships-work.aspx. 2. Charles Duhigg, “What Google Learned from Its Quest to Build the Perfect Team,” New York Times Magazine, February 28, 2016, https://www.nytimes. com/2016/02/28/magazine/what-google-learned-from-its-quest-to-build-the -perfect-team.html. 3. Glenn Llopis Group, “The Leadership Identity Crisis,” http://www.glennllopis .com/research/the-leadership-identity-crisis/. 4. Roger L. Martin, “CEOs Should Stop Thinking That Execution Is Someone Else’s Job; It’s Theirs,” Harvard Business Review, November 21, 2017, https://hbr .org/2017/11/ceos-should-leave-strategy-to-their-team-and-save-their-focus-for -execution.
26
Chapter 22
20 21 22 23 24
27 28 29
1. Robert Waldinger, “What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness,” November 2015, https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what _makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study_on_happiness. 2. Paul Bloom, “The Long and Short of It,” NYTimes.com, September 15, 2009, https://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/15/the-long-and-the-short-of -it/#more-7915.
30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 262
7/12/18 12:09 PM
Index
A
Abundance mentality, 218 Accenture surveys, 176 Accountability for action steps, 128 for relationships, 217–231 Acknowledgment, of people, 251 Acquisition, business, 185 Action, 19–20, 159 alignment of, 133–136, 137 busyness as, 133–136 disruption aiding, 139, 140 doubt overcome by, 149–157 empowerment aiding, 230 fear overcome by, 145–148 inaction compared to, 156–157 as journey, 141–142 necessities for, 155 without others, 137–141 without passion, 71 procrastination compared to, 122–124 pulse check for, 124, 137 rejection regarding, 118–119 scenario about, 160 self-reflection about, 120, 129, 143, 157–158 techniques for, 153–157 trial and error for, 115–116 vision aligned with, 132–136 Action steps accountability for, 128 additional, 127–128 difficult, 124 doubt surpassed by, 150 first, 114–120, 125 next, 126–127
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
obstacles of, 128 planning before, 127–129 resilience for, 193 resources for, 128–129 review process for, 129 time regarding, 128, 152 Adconion, 49 Advertising, digital, 5–6, 7, 9 Advice, 11 Alice in Wonderland, 30–31 Alignment, 133–136 Alzheimer’s, 81 Analysis paralysis, 115, 152, 156–157 Angel investor, 10 Apple, 116–117 Armstrong, Neil, 30 Arousal procrastinators, 122 Attitude, 238 Authenticity, 84, 207 Avoidant procrastinators, 122
B
Balance, 23–24 Bankruptcy, 2–3, 6 loan preventing, 229 of Pandora, 182 Best-case scenario, 157 Bezos, Jeff, 181 Birth, of twins, 166 Bloom, Paul, 248 Bond, Walter, 96–97 Bonding, 126–127 Boundaries, 237–238 Branding, company, 117 Burnout without celebration, 100–101 passion causing, 95–96
263
1260128520_perell_final.indb 263
7/12/18 12:09 PM
264 Index
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
Business, 38 disconnect in, 225 leadership, 206–207 life audit for, 239–241 vision as, 61–62 Busyness, 20, 133–136
C
Candor cards, 197 Capitalism, conscious, 257–258 Carnegie Foundation, 211 Caution signs of blind passion, 105 father as, 58–59, 116 Celebration burnout without, 100–101 productive passion fueled by, 96–102, 107 of success, 97–99, 100, 101 Center for Creative Leadership, 211 CEO doubt as, 227–228 growth heartset as, 185–186 hands-off, 138–139 lighthouse, 101–102 relationships of, 253 responsibility as, 171–172 turnaround, 44 Certainty, need for, 154 Changes adaptation with, 154, 209 toward negativity, 236 in relationships, 241 vision impacted by, 53 Chili, love of, 37–39, 40–41, 134–136 Clarity, of vision, 39–40 Cleaning, stables, 70 Cold War, 29 Comfort, 193–194 Comic book, 132 Communication, 216–217 Companies acquisitions, 185 approaches of, 253 branding of, 117 in closet, 193 as family, 223 growing, 8–9 individuality within, 227
1260128520_perell_final.indb 264
relationship investment for, 222 sale of, 10, 89–90, 166, 167–168 vision driving, 32 work environment at, 225–226 Competition, 116–117 Confirmation bias data cultivating, 139–140 differences avoiding, 226, 245–246 Conflict, 246 Control, 216–217 Conversations, 220–221
D
Darren, story of action alignment of, 134–136, 137 vision for, 37–39, 40–41 Data confirmation bias cultivated by, 139–140 40-70 Rule for, 154 lost, 171–172 Delegation, 138, 222–223 Determination, 3, 50 Difference, 11–12 appreciation of, 87–88 confirmation bias avoided with, 226, 245–246 conflict because, 246 of emotions, 86–87 intrapreneurs regarding, 226 leverage of, 224–228 between president and tracklayer, 43 in relationships, 224–228, 2 44–246 Distractions in Hawaii, 8 minimization of, 50, 53, 95 Dopamine, 148 Dot-com boom, 5 bubble burst, 6 emotions connected to, 77 Doubt action overcoming, 149–157 action steps surpassing, 150 as CEO, 227–228 as rationalization, 149 about scale, 152 techniques overcoming, 153–157
7/12/18 12:09 PM
Index 265
Dream, 12, 13–15 big, 47 life, 7, 10
E
E-mail, 184–185 Emotions connection with, 77 difference of, 86–87 management of, 78, 186–187 mastery of, 80, 148 passion driven by, 74–75, 79–80, 85 self-awareness of, 87 Employees empowerment of, 222–223 failure of, 199 injured, 184 passionate, 92, 100–101 Empowerment, 108 of employees, 222–223 from entrepreneur, 138–139 of team, 229–230 Energy, 235 Engagement, 9, 221–222 Enthusiasm, 83–84 Entrepreneurs empowerment from, 138–139 parents as, 2 role model of, 57–58 Evolution, of vision, 31, 32 Excuses procrastination as, 122–123 about relationships, 211, 250–251 Execution. See specific topics Experience, with failure, 199
F
Façade, 85 Fail forward, 20, 175–177, 197–200 Failures, 173 obsession over, 98 relationships regarding, 211 resilience through, 171–172, 175–177, 196, 197–200 risk of, 151 of server, 171–172 Family boundaries with, 237 companies as, 223 refugee, 258
1260128520_perell_final.indb 265
Father, 1–2 as caution sign, 58–59, 116 passion blinding, 103–104 as role model, 57–58 sympathy missing from, 77–78 Fear, 8, 186 action overcoming, 145–148 of rejection, 118–119 Feedback, 62–63 Feeling, visualization, 46 Flow, state of, 99–100 Flying, 145–147 Focus, 8–9, 30, 178 Food truck story, 37–39, 40–41, 134–136 Foresight, 46 40-70 Rule, 154–155 Friends college, 235–236 negativity regarding, 237–238 Future, 33
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
G
Gambling, 59 Generosity, 257–258 Glen Llopis Group surveys, 225 Glenn Llopis Group, 225 Goals growth after, 22, 23 visualization compared to, 47 GOBankingRates surveys, 197 Google, 224 Grandfather, 44, 125 Grandmother, 7, 105–106 Gratitude, 247, 249 Growth from failure, 198–199 after goals, 22, 23 heartset, 177, 182–188, 192–197 mindset, 177, 179–182, 192–197 risk ratio to, 157 Guilt, 241 Guns ‘N Roses, 192–193
H
Habits, 22 Hammock, 131 Harvard Business Review, 13 Hawaii, 7–9, 73 Headlines, 49, 89
7/12/18 12:09 PM
266 Index
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
Hearing, visualization, 46 Hidden Figures, 140 Hindsight, 46 Hitchhiking, 190–191 Horseback riding, 69–70 HuffPost, 180 Husband first step toward, 118–119 sacrifice of, 89–90, 94
I
Ideas, 61 Identity, 41–42 Imagery, 45 Impostor syndrome, 227–228 In vitro fertilization (IVF), 164–165 Inattentional blindness, 79 Inclusivity, 251–252 Individuality, 139, 227 Infection, 166 Insanity, 125–126 Insight, 46 Intrapreneurs, 139, 226 Investment banking, 4–5 40-70 Rule for, 154–155 questions checking, 234 in relationships, 220–223 IVF. See In vitro fertilization
J
Jedi, passion, 104 self-care for, 105–107 self-reflection for, 106, 108 Jeep Wrangler, 132–133, 189–190 Jennifer (surrogate), 165–166 Job, quitting, 115–116 Journey, 141–142
K
Kaizen, 119 Karate, 126–127 Kennedy, John F., 29–30, 44, 123, 140 KimPerell.com, 15 Kohl, David, 51–52
L
Las Vegas, 59, 101 Leaders execution scale of, 230 relationships built by, 218–219
1260128520_perell_final.indb 266
resilience of, 200 sales, 239 self-care for, 107 Leadership business, 206–207 of team, 215–217 Learning, 83 Legacy, 257–258 Lessons, 11–12 Life dream, 7, 10 work integration with, 91, 95, 142 Life audit, 212 for business, 239–241 delayed, 239–240 guilt about, 241 perspectives regarding, 245 questions for, 234 of relationships, 233–246 scenarios about, 239–240 Loan bankruptcy prevented by, 229 from grandmother, 7 from parents, 1, 3–4 Love of chili, 37–39, 40–41, 134–136 of horseback riding, 69–70 as legacy, 258 skill compared to, 72–73 Loyalty, 117, 240–241
M
Maintenance, 22 acknowledgment for, 251 congratulations note for, 250 inclusivity for, 251–252 methods for, 149–152 of relationships, 248–252 time made for, 250 Marriage, 9 Mastery, 13, 14 of emotions, 80, 148 of execution factor traits, 21–22, 24 of passion, 75, 80 Meaning, 25, 40–41 Mentality abundance, 218 growth heartset, 177, 182–188, 192–197
7/12/18 12:09 PM
Index 267
growth mindset, 177, 179–182, 192–197 scarcity, 218 Micro-visions, 32 Milestones, 23 Mindset, growth, 177, 179–182, 192–197 Molyneux, Phil, 93 Moon shot, 29–30 Mother, 2 business leadership vision of, 206–207 potential maximization of, 208–209 as relationship role model, 205 Mother-in-law, 81 Motivation, 1, 25, 82–83 Multimillionaire, 10 Musk, Elon, 183–185
N
NASA, 29, 44, 140, 184 National Basketball Association (NBA), 96–97 Naysayers, 73, 196 NBA. See National Basketball Association Negativity, 235 boundaries mitigating, 237–238 elimination of, 238–243 into toxicity, 236 News, bad, 197 Nonnegotiables, 207 North Star, 30–31
O
Obstacles, inevitable, 172 Onyema, story of, 145–146 Opportunities, 114, 151 in difficulty, 176 visibility of, 177–178 Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, 164–165
P
Pandora, 182–183 Parable, tracklayer, 42–44 Parents as entrepreneurs, 2 generosity of, 258
1260128520_perell_final.indb 267
loan from, 1, 3–4 in Portland, 57 Passion, 109 alignment of, 133–136 blind, 103–105 burnout caused by, 95–96 contagious, 71, 84 cultivation of, 91–92 emotions driving, 74–75, 79–80, 85 of employees, 92, 100–101 enthusiasm maintained by, 83–84 as inspiration, 84–85 learning influenced by, 83 love compared to, 72–73 mastery of, 75, 80 motivation stimulated by, 82–83 prioritization of, 93–96 productive, 96–102, 107 pulse check for, 74, 80, 86, 92, 100 scenario about, 110 self-belief driven by, 82 self-reflection about, 75–76, 88, 102, 106, 108 skill compared to, 41–42 for success, 81–85 suffering regarding, 18–19, 71–74 transparency of, 40 variation of, 86–88 vision fueled by, 73–74 Passion Jedi, 104–108 Perspectives, 138 life audit regarding, 245 relationships bringing, 224 resilience aided by, 153 Pilot training, 145–146 Politics, 245 Pool, swimming, 131–132 Portland, Oregon, 57 Positivity, 238–243 Practice of resilience, 177, 189–191 visualization as, 46, 48 Pregnancy IVF for, 164–165 surrogacy for, 165–166 worst-case scenario after, 167 Prioritization of celebration, 99 of passion, 93–96
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
7/12/18 12:09 PM
268 Index
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
Prioritization (cont’d) time, 50, 52–54 vision, 52–54, 124–125 Proactivity, 244 Procrastination action compared to, 122–124 arousal, 122 avoidant, 122 Progress, 133–136 Pulse check for action, 124, 137 for passion, 74, 80, 86, 92, 100 for relationships, 208, 223, 228, 242, 244, 252 for resilience, 181, 187, 195 for vision, 34, 51
Q
Questions for life audit, 234 for relationship building, 2 20–221
R
Railroad, 43 Reciprocity, 21, 229 Rejection, 118–119 Relationships, 21, 255 accountability for, 217–231 boundaries in, 237–238 of CEOs, 253 changes in, 241 communication aiding, 216–217 differences in, 224–228, 244–246 excuses about, 211, 250–251 during execution scale, 208–209, 216, 254 gratitude for, 247 investment in, 220–223 leaders building, 218–219 leadership regarding, 215–217 life audit of, 233–246 long-term, 248–249 maintenance of, 248–252 mother modeling, 205 necessity of, 211–212, 254 potential of, 208–210
1260128520_perell_final.indb 268
proactivity with, 244 pulse check for, 208, 223, 228, 242, 244, 252 scenario about, 228–231, 256 self-reflection about, 212–213, 231, 246, 254 for success, 210, 211, 228 time with, 242–243, 250 toxic, 236 transparency with, 94–95 trust for, 231 as value, 209–210 vision expanded by, 252–253 work-life integration with, 142 Resilience, 20, 201 through failures, 171–172, 175–177, 196, 197–200 in frontline positions, 194 from growth heartset, 182–188, 192–197 from growth mindset, 179–182, 192–197 perspectives aiding, 153 practice of, 177, 189–191 pulse check for, 181, 187, 195 scenario about, 202 self-reflection about, 169, 173, 178, 188, 200 for success, 176 from twins, 163–169 Risk of failure, 151 to growth ratio, 157 of inaction, 156–157 Rock bottom, 6–11 Rocky, 187–188 Rohn, Jim, 243 Role model, 57–58, 205
S
Sacrifice of husband, 89–90, 94 limits to, 104 Sales of companies, 10, 89–90, 166, 167–168 executive, 240 leader, 239 Savings, 196–197
7/12/18 12:09 PM
Index 269
Scale, execution doubt about, 152 of leaders, 230 relationships during, 208–209, 216, 254 Scarcity mentality, 218 Scenarios about action, 160 best-case, 157 about life audit, 239–240 about passion, 110 about relationships, 228–231, 256 about resilience, 202 about vision, 66 win-win, 228–231 worst-case, 155, 167 Self-awareness, 87 Self-belief, 48, 82 Self-care, 105–107, 219 Self-limitations, 47 Self-reflection, 25 about action, 120, 129, 143, 157–158 about passion, 75–76, 88, 102, 106, 108 about relationships, 212–213, 231, 246, 254 about resilience, 169, 173, 178, 188, 200 about vision, 35, 48, 55, 63–64 Sendak, Maurice, 54 Server failure, 171–172 Shark Tank, 62 Sight, 46 Skill, 14 love compared to, 72–73 passion compared to, 41–42 Southwest Airlines, 194 Speech, first public, 113–114, 150 Stability, 2 Stables, cleaning, 70 Starbucks, 194–195 Success, 17 celebration of, 97–99, 100, 101 definition of, 257, 258 passion for, 81–85 path to, 15–16, 115, 121 relationships for, 210, 211, 228 resilience for, 176 visualization of, 46
1260128520_perell_final.indb 269
Suffering, 18–19, 71–74 Sunscreen, 23 Surrogacy, 165–166 Surveys Accenture, 176 Glen Llopis Group, 225 GOBankingRates, 197 Sympathy, 77–78 Synergy, 142
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
T
Teachers, Southwest Airlines recruiting, 194 Team, 212, 219 control of, 216–217 empowerment of, 229–230 leadership of, 215–217 TechCrunch, 49 Tenacity, 3 Tesla, 183–184 Test, execution success, 15 Thinking, lost in, 60 Time/timing action steps frame for, 128, 152 perfect, 152 prioritization of, 50, 52–54 with relationships, 242–243, 250 Timing, 60–61 To-do list, 53 Toxicity, 236 Tracklayers, 43 Traits, execution factor, 18–20. See also Action; Passion; Relationships; Resilience; Vision balance of, 23–24 interdependent, 16–17 lead, 24 mastery of, 21–22, 24 Trust, 231 Twins, baby birth of, 166 resilience from, 163–169 survival of, 166–167
U
Uber, 190–191 Ultrasound, 166 Uncertainty, 42
7/12/18 12:09 PM
270 Index
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
V
Values, 207, 209–210 Vision, 2, 65 action aligned with, 132–136 alignment of, 133–136 for America, 29–30 as business, 61–62 caution for, 58–59 changes impacting, 53 for Darren, 37–39, 40–41 direction for, 31–33 elements of, 39–42 feedback gift for, 62–63 headline as, 49 idea abundance for, 61 identity congruency with, 41–42 micro, 32 as moon shot, 29–30 of mother, 206–207 as north star, 30–31 of others, 37–39 passion fueling, 73–74 prioritization of, 52–54, 124–125 pulse check for, 34, 51 reality of, 47–48 relationships expanding, 252–253 scenario about, 66
1260128520_perell_final.indb 270
self-reflection about, 35, 48, 55, 63–64 simplicity for, 34 thought for, 60 time for, 60–61 ultrasound as, 166 in writing, 51–52 Visualization, 69 goals compared to, 47 as practice, 46, 48 study of, 45
W
Wall Street Journal, 44 Walton, Sam, 40 Westergren, Tim, 182–183 Where the Wild Things Are (Sendak), 54 Win-win scenario, 228–231 Work environment, 225–226 ethics, 73–74 life integration with, 91, 95, 142 Worst-case scenario, 155, 167 Writing, 51–52
Y
Yahoo!, 5
7/12/18 12:09 PM
About the Author
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Kim Perell is an award-winning entre-
8
preneur, executive, angel investor, and
9
the CEO of Amobee, a global mar-
10
keting technology company with 21
11
offices worldwide. Amobee has been
12
recognized as one of Fortune maga-
13
zine’s Top 10 Places to Work in Mar-
14
keting and Advertising.
15
Laid off at 23 from an Internet startup, Perell began her jour-
16
ney as an entrepreneur from her kitchen table, becoming a multi-
17
millionaire by the time she was 30 and selling her last company
18
for $235 million.
19
Perell attributes her success to her ability to execute, and be-
20
lieves execution is what makes the difference between success
21
and failure. She is confident that execution is a skill that can be
22
mastered, and actively seeks to teach it to others. Her passion to
23
help young entrepreneurs achieve success has led to her being an
24
early-stage investor in over 70 startups, 14 of which have been
25
successfully acquired, and one that went public with a current
26
market valuation over $3 billion.
27
Perell has been named one of AdAge’s Marketing Technology
28
Trailblazers, Business Insider’s Most Powerful Women in Mobile
29
Advertising and is an Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year.
30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 271
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1
She has been profiled by CNN Money, the New York Times,
2
Forbes, and the Huffington Post.
3
Perell graduated magna cum laude from Pepperdine Univer-
4
sity with a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration. An
5
avid traveler (more than 60 countries visited), she and her hus-
6
band live in San Diego, with their twins, Elle and John and their
7
English Mastiff, Tank.
8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Practical and must-read advice. This book is exactly what the
10
next generation of entrepreneurs needs.
11
—B I L L S H AW, President, Entrepreneur Media
12 The Execution Factor should be read by all entrepreneurs or any-
13
one looking to take their career to the next level. Pay attention
14
and take notes—this book is a blueprint for success.
15
—J A M E S B O R OW, Global Director of Product Strategy, Snap, Inc.
16
The Execution Factor is for the entrepreneur in all of us, for the
18
person daydreaming about being their own boss while stuck at a
19
nine to five. Kim Perell knows what it takes to execute a vision,
20
no matter how big or small. There isn’t a better book to guide
21
you to turning your ideas into reality.
22
17
—C H R I S B U R C H , CEO of Burch Creative Capital and cofounder of Tory Burch
23
Since meeting Kim I have always been in awe of her entrepre-
25
neurial successes. This book is a great distillation of all of her
26
years of experience and the learnings she has gathered along the
27
way. If you’re an entrepreneur, an executive, or someone just
28
starting their career this book is a must have.
29
24
30
—E R I C T O DA , Director of Marketing at Gap, Inc.
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1
The Execution Factor serves as your personal coach for master-
2
ing the one skill that sets successful entrepreneurs apart from
3
others—execution. This book should be on every entrepreneur’s
4
shelf, whether you’re starting a company or launching a side hus-
5
tle in your living room. —F R A N H A U S E R , former president of digital at Time, Inc. and author of The Myth of the Nice Girl
6 7 8
Kim Perell has written a very personal and compelling guidebook
9
on entrepreneurship, how to execute with excellence, and on the
10
importance of resilience. It’s an extremely readable, powerful,
11
and personal narrative that I would highly recommend to all as-
12
piring entrepreneurs. I already have a dozen people in mind with
13
whom I’m going to share this work.
14
—J O N AT H A N A U E R B A C H , Chief Strategy and Growth Officer at PayPal
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
If you’re intentional about upskilling or upgrading, The Execution Factor gives you the framework and traits to get there. Through her own wealth of examples and applicable process, Perell has created essential reading that cracks the code on how to drive success in your life and work. —E R I C A G O L D E N , Global Talent Development at Apple, Inc.
22 23
Whether you’re a seasoned entrepreneur or just launching your
24
career, you will benefit from the insights and inspiration in The
25
Execution Factor. I wish I had this book when I was starting out.
26
—K E I T H F E R R A Z Z I , New York Times bestselling author of Never Eat Alone and Who’s Got Your Back
27 28 29 30
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An easy read with many great takeaways, Kim nails the pro-
1
cess of becoming a successful entrepreneur with her five traits of
2
execution. Kim is her own force of nature, and this book will
3
help you make your own path to success crystal clear.
4 5
—M E L R O B B I N S , author of Kick Ass and The 5 Second Rule
6
As a venture investor and advisor to large corporations I work
7
with entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs on a daily basis. Kim Perell’s
8
book provides practical and must-read advice to every aspiring
9
and experienced entrepreneur.
10
—E VA N G E L O S S I M O U D I S , PhD, cofounder and Managing Director of Synapse Partners and author of The Big Data Opportunity in Our Driverless Future
11 12
Kim Perell is a SPARK—she recognized early on that there are
13
dreamers and doers in this world, and she is undoubtedly a doer.
14
If you’re seeking to get ahead, read this book. It shows you that
15
success isn’t happenstance. You must work for it, and she shows
16
you how.
17 —A N G I E M O R G A N and C O U R T N E Y LY N C H , New York Times bestselling authors of SPARK
18
Everyone we admire took action and executed consistently to
20
achieve their success. Kim is right: Visualization without action
21
is delusion. This book will help you execute on the yellow brick
22
road to your Oz.
23
19
24
—K E I T H J . C U N N I N G H A M , founder, Keys to the Vault and author of The Road Less Stupid
25 26
To succeed in business you must be able to execute. Kim’s book The
27
Execution Factor provides the right strategies to get things done.
28
—S T E P H E N K E Y, bestselling author of One Simple Idea
29 30
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 N E W Y O R K C H I C A G O S A N F R A N C I S C O A T H E N S
29
L O N D O N M A D R I D M E X I C O C I T Y M I L A N
30
NEW DELHI SINGAPORE SYDNEY TORONTO
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Copyright © 2019 by Kim Perell. All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the United States Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher. ISBN: 978-1-26-012853-6 MHID: 1-26-012853-9 The material in this eBook also appears in the print version of this title: ISBN: 978-1-26-012852-9, MHID: 1-26-012852-0. eBook conversion by codeMantra Version 1.0 All trademarks are trademarks of their respective owners. Rather than put a trademark symbol after every occurrence of a trademarked name, we use names in an editorial fashion only, and to the benefit of the trademark owner, with no intention of infringement of the trademark. Where such designations appear in this book, they have been printed with initial caps. McGraw-Hill Education eBooks are available at special quantity discounts to use as premiums and sales promotions or for use in corporate training programs. To contact a representative, please visit the Contact Us page at www.mhprofessional.com. TERMS OF USE This is a copyrighted work and McGraw-Hill Education and its licensors reserve all rights in and to the work. Use of this work is subject to these terms. Except as permitted under the Copyright Act of 1976 and the right to store and retrieve one copy of the work, you may not decompile, disassemble, reverse engineer, reproduce, modify, create derivative works based upon, transmit, distribute, disseminate, sell, publish or sublicense the work or any part of it without McGraw-Hill Education’s prior consent. You may use the work for your own noncommercial and personal use; any other use of the work is strictly prohibited. Your right to use the work may be terminated if you fail to comply with these terms. THE WORK IS PROVIDED “AS IS.” McGRAW-HILL EDUCATION AND ITS LICENSORS MAKE NO GUARANTEES OR WARRANTIES AS TO THE ACCURACY, ADEQUACY OR COMPLETENESS OF OR RESULTS TO BE OBTAINED FROM USING THE WORK, INCLUDING ANY INFORMATION THAT CAN BE ACCESSED THROUGH THE WORK VIA HYPERLINK OR OTHERWISE, AND EXPRESSLY DISCLAIM ANY WARRANTY, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. McGraw-Hill Education and its licensors do not warrant or guarantee that the functions contained in the work will meet your requirements or that its operation will be uninterrupted or error free. Neither McGraw-Hill Education nor its licensors shall be liable to you or anyone else for any inaccuracy, error or omission, regardless of cause, in the work or for any damages resulting therefrom. McGraw-Hill Education has no responsibility for the content of any information accessed through the work. Under no circumstances shall McGraw-Hill Education and/or its licensors be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, punitive, consequential or similar damages that result from the use of or inability to use the work, even if any of them has been advised of the possibility of such damages. This limitation of liability shall apply to any claim or cause whatsoever whether such claim or cause arises in contract, tort or otherwise.
1 2 3 4 5 6 For my Dad and Mom, two of the greatest
7
entrepreneurs I know.
8
I couldn’t have asked for better parents or role models.
9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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Contents
1 2 3 4 5 6
Letter to the Reader
xi
1. Hitting Rock Bottom: The Truth About Success
1
7 8 9 10
T R A I T 1
11
VISION
12 13
Your North Star
14
12. Moon Shot
29
13. Living Someone Else’s Dream
37
14. Don’t Just Think It, Ink It
49
15. The Loneliest Trait
57
Vision—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
65
22 T R A I T 2
23
PA S S I O N
24 25
What You’re Willing to Sacrifice and Suffer For
26
16. What We Do for Love
69
17. Emotional Rescue
77
18. Fueling Your Fire
89
27 28 29 30
v
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vi Contents
1 2 3
19. Never Completely Submit to the Dark Side
103
109
Passion—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
4
T R A I T 3
5 6
AC T I O N
7
Taking That First Step and the Next One
8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
10. Setting the Stage to Act
113
11. Prioritize Action: Better to Start Than Procrastinate
121
12. Vision Quest
131
13. Fear of Flying
145
159
Action—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
17
T R A I T 4
18 19
RESILIENCE
20
Dealing with Obstacles, Change, and Uncertainty
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29
14. Life Rarely Goes as Planned
163
15. Bouncing Back After Setbacks
171
16. Fail Forward
175
17. Minds and Hearts
179
18. Practicing and Preparing for Resilience
189
Resilience—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario 201
30
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Contents vii
T R A I T 5
1
R E L AT I O N S H I P S
2
Having the Right People in Your Life
3 4
19. The Human Touch
205
20. Life Is a Team Sport
215
21. Audit Your Life
233
22. Sharing Your Success
247
Relationships—Trait Summary and
Real-Life Scenario
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
255
12 13
Conclusion: Creating an Execution Blueprint for Your Success
14 257
15 16
Acknowledgments
259
Notes
261
Index
263
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1 2 3 4 5 6 The road to success is always under construction.
7
—ANONYMOUS
8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1260128520_perell_final.indb 10
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Dear Friend,
1 2
When I started my first company 15 years ago, I was broke,
3
unemployed, and trying to convince anyone to lend me money
4
was an uphill battle. Thankfully my 80-year-old grandmother
5
made a bet on me.
6
My goal is to pay her generosity forward by investing in
7
entrepreneurs who need someone to believe in them. And I
8
believe in you.
9 10
I am so confident that if you master execution, you will increase
11
your chances of success that I have created The Execution
12
Factor Fund to help you and other entrepreneurs turn your
13
dreams into reality.
14
The Execution Factor Fund will provide seed stage funding in
15
execution-led startups, providing early financing to entrepreneurs
16
and connecting them with industry experts. I am so grateful
17
for the success I have had, I am personally providing the first
18
$1 million to the fund, plus I am contributing 100 percent of the
19
royalties from this book.
20 21
Are you ready to execute your vision and turn your dream into
22
reality? Then apply to The Execution Factor Fund! For more
23
information on The Execution Factor Fund and how to apply,
24
please visit KimPerell.com.
25
Let’s get started, together!
26 27 28 29 30
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1
1
2 3 4 5
Hitting Rock Bottom: The Truth About Success
6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
I
15 ’ve been broke twice in my life. The first time was August 1,
16
1998.
17
OK, I wasn’t totally broke. I had exactly $366.42 to my
18
name. That was the amount listed on the balance sheet I showed
19
my parents as part of a presentation to ask them for a loan before
20
starting my senior year at college.
21
Yes, a presentation. I couldn’t just ask my parents for money.
22
Everything in our family had to be worked for. If I ever com-
23
plained to my dad about a long day at a job, he’d say, “Eight hours?
24
That’s a half day.” Those words weren’t meant to be negative;
25
they were meant to be motivating, and I took them that way.
26
Growing up, if we didn’t have and couldn’t earn what we
27
needed, we looked for other ways to solve problems—usually
28
around the same kitchen table I was using to make my loan pre-
29
sentation. While other families talked about sports, school, or
30
1
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2 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
politics at the dinner table, our conversations revolved around
2
the ups and downs of business—often from very different per-
3
spectives. My parents were both entrepreneurs, but they were cut
4
from very different entrepreneurial cloth.
5
My mother is all heart. She built a consulting business work-
6
ing within companies on their vision and values. They hired her
7
to help them with team building and to understand how to put
8
people before profits. While she has been relentless in her pursuit
9
of business, constantly reinventing her work, even pivoting to
10
take on new kinds of companies as clients, my mom’s career has
11
for the most part been and remained stable.
12
My father? He’s the complete opposite. He’s a vision guy—
13
a serial entrepreneur who sees opportunity everywhere. He has a
14
degree in engineering from Columbia University, but he has never
15
looked for an engineering job. When my parents arrived in Port-
16
land, Oregon, over 40 years ago, he had another vision. Or should
17
I say, many—sometimes too many. First, he pursued his vision for
18
a self-service auto repair garage where people could rent tools and
19
space to fix their own cars. Then, when the market for that failed
20
to appear, he took an offer to help fix a roofing plant and ended
21
up creating a machine to make roof tiles. When the housing mar-
22
ket bottomed out, he shut down the tile business, and he made
23
deals with the banks to take over foreclosed homes for pennies on
24
the dollar, refurbish them, and flip them. After that, he started a
25
restaurant, a bar, and got into the elder care business . . .
26
Most people probably would have given up the entrepre-
27
neurial life if they had faced bankruptcy as many times as my dad
28
had. But not my dad. He never gave up. He was always working
29
toward something, and he never stopped believing that success
30
was always waiting for him, just around the corner. And many
1260128520_perell_final.indb 2
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
3
times it was. As a result, there were times we had more than we
1
needed and times we had almost nothing, when anything that
2
wasn’t absolutely necessary was a luxury. Like heat.
3
One winter our house was so cold that we layered up until
4
our arms stuck out like gingerbread men. Our old wood fireplace
5
was no match for the glacial temperatures. One especially frigid
6
night, the cold got to me so I went to find my dad to tell him. No
7
surprise, I found him buried in his massive old coat working in
8
the garage. When I walked in, he turned, looked down at my fear-
9
ful face, and before I could speak, he gave me a kind smile.
10
“We’re OK,” he said. “We’re tougher than this.”
11
And I . . . went back inside and continued to bundle up.
12
Today I can see the value of having two parents who are en-
13
trepreneurs, especially in the way they raised me. Even at the
14
lowest points, they believed in themselves. They committed
15
themselves body and soul to the futures they dreamed of for our
16
family. And they were tough as nails. Tenacity was a tenet I was
17
brought up on. If going a winter without heating was the price of
18
success, then we were willing to pay it—together.
19
Today I know that makes me one of the lucky ones. The abil-
20
ity to dream abundantly, combined with a willingness to put in
21
the necessary hard work, conditioned me well to overcome set-
22
backs, hard times, bankruptcy, and just everyday things that
23
didn’t swing in my favor. It’s hard to beat a person who never
24
gives up and has the grit and determination to be bigger than the
25
challenges ahead. I always rise to the occasion. I’m exacting and
26
relentless, which elevated my pitch for a loan before going back
27
to my senior year in college.
28
Making a successful pitch for anything that satisfied my dad’s
29
head and my mom’s heart was a challenge, but I was ready and
30
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4 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
determined to state my case. They listened as I explained my sit-
2
uation. I started by telling them how grateful I was that they had
3
paid for my tuition. This was no small feat for two entrepreneurs
4
who had worked hard for everything we had and expected the
5
same from my brother, twin sister, and me. Reviewing my item-
6
ized expenses, I reminded them I had worked all through college
7
to pay for my housing, food, and all my other needs. I had not
8
been wasteful or irresponsible. I was just a broke college kid who
9
needed some extra funds to make it to the start of school after us-
10
ing the last of her savings for rent. I would get a job and pay them
11
back as soon as I went back to school.
12
“I’m a safe bet for an investment,” I concluded.
13
After some discussion, I got the loan. Or should I say, I
14
earned it. With the loan secured, the conversation took a sharp
15
turn to my future.
16
“What’s your vision for yourself after graduation, Kim?”
17
Mom wanted me to get a stable job at an established reputa-
18
ble company. That’s all she ever wanted for me: to be true to my-
19
self, follow my dreams, and be happy.
20
Dad wanted me to be happy too. However, he didn’t want me
21
to take any job where there was a limit to what I could control
22
and how much I could earn.
23
I felt as most college kids did: overwhelmed and confused. I
24
didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do or what I saw for myself.
25
At that moment I was sure of only one thing: being broke
26
and now in debt to my parents, I wanted to make a lot of money.
27
Not being able to repay their generosity wasn’t an option. Invest-
28
ment banking seemed like an appealing option as two of my un-
29
cles worked for Merrill Lynch at the time. I also liked marketing.
30
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
5
I excelled in both subjects in school, but I knew I still needed to
1
learn more about them in the real world.
2
That fall, I did some schedule Jenga and arranged to have
3
classes on two days and to work on the other three: 6 a.m. to
4
noon at an investment bank and afternoons at a marketing com-
5
pany. I loved the marketing work, but I probably would have
6
ended up in investment banking had not one thing happened that
7
pushed me into a career I hadn’t much considered: Yahoo!
8
Yahoo! had gone public while I was in college, and by the
9
time I graduated, the dot-com boom was reaching a fever pitch.
10
All of a sudden, there seemed to be opportunities and money
11
everywhere. It was thrilling. It was a gold rush, and the Prom-
12
ised Land was the Internet. The frenzy was impossible to resist. I
13
ended up accepting a job as a marketing analyst at a dot-com—
14
the seventh hire at a startup in Los Angeles. The company was a
15
kind of 1990s precursor to Dropbox. I was there when we raised
16
our first million and when we raised $120 million more in ven-
17
ture capital shortly after. Things quickly grew exponentially in the
18
office, and we expanded to more than 300 people. I oversaw
19
the entire Internet marketing and sales division. At 23, I had 30
20
people reporting to me, many of them close friends and people I
21
knew from college whom I wanted to share the opportunity with.
22
I became a dot-com millionaire in company stock. I was on
23
top of the world. It didn’t last. Our biggest issues were timing,
24
volume, and pricing. Data storage costs were expensive back
25
then, and we needed to find a way to offset our burn rate. I took
26
the initiative.
27
As I saw my father do when he failed, I scoured for any op-
28
portunity for survival. That’s when I realized we had millions
29 30
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6 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
of subscribers for free data storage that we could monetize in
2
a different way. I knew from my work senior year in market-
3
ing that those subscribers were worth something to advertisers.
4
So I started to call advertising agencies to see if they were inter-
5
ested in advertising to these subscribers. Overnight, we moved
6
our customer services reps to digital sales reps. We managed to
7
generate more than $9 million in advertising revenue in the first
8
10 months.
9
The problem was that we weren’t an advertising company.
10
And we still weren’t sustainable as a data storage company. My
11
team’s ad revenue was the only revenue stream we had, and it
12
wasn’t nearly enough to keep us afloat.
13
Then in March 2001, the dot-com bubble burst, and my
14
company went bankrupt. I had to lay off all my colleagues and
15
some of my dearest friends (some of whom did not talk to me
16
again for years). They had bet on me. They had trusted me. I had
17
failed them. When I was done laying them off, the company fired
18
me too.
19
In an instant, it was as if someone pushed the delete button
20
on my career, professional identity, and future—not to mention
21
my income. Our stock was worth nothing. In a moment, every-
22
thing I had worked so tirelessly for had vanished.
23
At 23, I was unemployed and broke again.
24 25
Rock Bottom Makes You Realize What You Want
26 27 28 29
I have never felt worse than I did in the days and weeks that fol-
30
lowed. Having let my team go and being let go myself, I soon
1260128520_perell_final.indb 6
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
7
became more determined to never, ever feel that way again. I
1
had loved my job, the company, and my team. I was devastated.
2
Simply put, I had failed people who depended on me. I vowed to
3
shift my thinking and build something on my own that wouldn’t
4
have that same outcome and to create the life I wanted.
5
But what did I want? I made a list:
6 7
Freedom
8
Be my own boss
9
Control my destiny
10 11
I knew exactly where to start to get these things: where I left
12
off. While the company I worked for was hemorrhaging cash, my
13
division was generating revenue. I was growing advertising reve-
14
nue even as the company crashed. The Internet was still growing
15
at a bewildering pace. Millions of new people were getting online,
16
and companies wanted to reach them. I knew there must be op-
17
portunities in digital advertising, especially for those businesses
18
that didn’t need or couldn’t afford a large advertising budget.
19
What they needed was me, and to start again, all I needed
20
was a computer, an Internet connection, and my experience and
21
relationships to leverage.
22
But while I had the knowledge and the relationships, I didn’t
23
have a place to live and work or the money to buy the computer
24
and get online. Love solved the first problem: My boyfriend at
25
the time was born in Hawaii. His parents said if we could get
26
there, we could live rent free in their condo for three months. My
27
family solved the other problem: I borrowed $10,000 from my
28
grandmother with promises to pay every dollar back as soon as
29
I could.
30
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8 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Within weeks, we were off to Hawaii—the magical land of
2
endless surf and sand, palm trees, and bright beautiful flowers
3
across lush mountain vistas—to start my first company.
4
Aloha! A-NOha!
5
There was nothing vacation-like about my move to Hawaii.
6
My new business took over the small condo from the kitchen to
7
the living room. My desk was the black marble surface of the
8
kitchen table island that extended from the counter. Wires and
9
cables for the computer and phone dangled like tentacles over the
10
side. We tucked the printer and fax into a nook next to the coffee
11
maker. Boxes and stacks of paper sat on the stove. I could have
12
easily been distracted by the draw of the sun and outdoor adven-
13
tures with my friends, but I stayed focused on growing my com-
14
pany and the life I wanted—needed—to create.
15
The only talk about the beach came from the voices of my
16
boyfriend’s sister and her friend blasting MTV six feet away from
17
me in the adjacent room talking about how great the island was.
18
Oh, there was one more thing: I was scared. No, I was ter-
19
rified. I may have had entrepreneurs for parents and some expe-
20
rience in digital advertising, but that didn’t mean I knew what I
21
was doing. The part of me that is most similar to my mother is
22
that we hate uncertainty; the part of me that is like my dad told
23
me to keep going despite the fear and risks—to persevere just the
24
way we did in those long cold winters.
25
And I did.
26
I sat and worked at that table every day for nearly three years
27
straight. Eventually, I hired a small team. I frequently stayed up all
28
night working, taking 8 a.m. calls from the East Coast at 2 a.m.
29
island time. I soon learned that in Hawaii, this kind of drive
30
and ambition tended to be seen as an anomaly. It was grueling
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9
and beachless. While everyone left work when the surf was up to
1
find the best waves, I surfed the Internet looking for business op-
2
portunities. When the market for digital advertising dried up, I
3
persisted and looked for consumer products that I could source
4
directly from manufacturers to sell online. I bought and sold
5
products ranging from toys to teeth whitener. I did everything I
6
could to keep things going. I maxed out my credit cards to make
7
payroll.
8
But I never lost faith. Never lost control. Never forgot how
9
great it felt to be my own boss. Never took my freedom for
10
granted. During this time, I also got engaged to my boyfriend. I
11
asked him for a super-long engagement, but he thought the eight
12
years we had spent dating was long enough. He was right, so
13
the following months I started planning our wedding. Each day
14
went something like this: work, work, invitations, work, dress
15
fittings, work, work, wedding planning. I scrupulously budgeted
16
and tracked for the wedding the same way I did for the company
17
across many spreadsheets. And it all paid off: I married the love
18
of my life, and my digital marketing company was growing.
19
My company expanded as the online advertising market
20
grew and the demand for pay-for-performance advertising
21
proved to be a growth opportunity for digital companies. Within
22
a few years, we had generated over $3.5 million in revenue with
23
63 customers and five employees. Each year after, we doubled
24
our revenue. We outgrew not only the kitchen but also Hawaii,
25
and we moved back to California to be closer to my husband’s
26
family in San Diego.
27
Five years into growing the company, something happened
28
that changed everything. I was having lunch with a friend who
29
also owned an Internet advertising company, and he told me he
30
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10 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
was going to sell it. I thought to myself, Maybe I should do the
2
same. I hadn’t intended to sell my company when I started it. My
3
only goal was to meet my three conditions of satisfaction—free-
4
dom, be my own boss, control my destiny—and have the life I
5
envisioned. The sleepless nights, the stress of having employees,
6
and the 16-hour workdays had added up, and selling the com-
7
pany would give me time to fully secure and maybe even enjoy
8
my financial freedom.
9
I hired KPMG and put the company up for sale. In 2008, I
10
sold it for $30 million, including a two-year earn out. I stayed on
11
as its CEO, retained all my employees, and hired more to sustain
12
our growth.
13
Broke at 23, I was a multimillionaire by the time I was 30.
14
With my financial freedom assured, I also became an ac-
15
tive angel investor to help other entrepreneurs achieve the same
16
success. As of 2018, I had invested in over 70 companies, 14 of
17
which have successfully been acquired by the likes of Apple and
18
Intuit. One company I invested in was valued at over $1 billion
19
on the first day of its IPO.
20
Today I live the extraordinary life that I had imagined but
21
that at times had seemed so far away. I have incredible friends
22
and family. I remain happily married, and I am the mom of twins,
23
a boy and a girl. I get to travel the world and have a beautiful
24
beachfront home, two helicopters, and a fighter jet. (Why not have
25
a fighter jet? My husband is a stunt pilot.) I also love the work
26
that I do and the people I work with, but what I value the most
27
is that I get to do what I love professionally: work with great
28
people and help others achieve success. But I can’t help every-
29
one, as much as I want to. There is only one thing that no one has
30
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
11
figured out how to manufacture more of—time—and no cloning
1
company that has pitched to me is close to being able to replicate
2
humans, even if I wanted to try that. So I give as much as I can
3
when I can to the people who call for advice every day—not just
4
my employees and the people I invested in but people who read
5
about me in the New York Times and other media, heard about
6
my deals on the street, or worked with me in the past.
7
People who are striving to achieve, build, and scale their
8
visions.
9
People who are stuck, scared or just baffled as to why they can’t
10
move forward.
11
People who are wondering why their ideas failed to gain trac-
12
tion while other people’s similar ideas did.
13
“What should I do next, Kim?”
14
“How did you go from broke to millions?”
15
“Can you show me how to be successful?”
16
Good questions, and I’ve wanted to help answer them all. I’m
17
an ordinary person, but I live an extraordinary life. How did I do
18
it? I started taking notes.
19 20 21
What I Had Learned
22 23
Initially when I asked myself why I had succeeded, all I came up
24
with were things that had not helped me.
25
I didn’t grow up wealthy.
26
In school, I was an average student with average grades. It
27
was my twin sister and older brother who were bused off to the
28
gifted and talented school while I stayed back.
29 30
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12 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
I didn’t learn a special secret in college. I didn’t graduate and
2
say, “I will now execute at the highest level.” I said what most
3
kids said, “I want to make money.” And ended up broke.
4 5
I ignored my parents’ advice to find stability, control, and happiness.
6
I had always worked hard for everything I had as my parents
7
expected, but hard work wasn’t my point of difference. I worked
8
hard at that dot-com, and I still failed. I know lots of people who
9
work hard day after day and get nowhere.
10
It wasn’t IQ either. How many intelligent people do you
11
know who are still struggling to succeed or are toiling in obscu-
12
rity in the companies they created or work for?
13
Maybe it was my sheer determination and will to succeed?
14
I’m as ambitious and energetic as anyone I’ve met. I’m “go big or
15
go home” in every aspect of my life. But does that make me dif-
16
ferent from tens of millions of other people?
17
I also didn’t have one brilliant or unique idea. In fact, anyone
18
can have a great idea. As an active angel investor, I get pitched
19
dozens of ideas a week, and I have the opportunity to work with
20
many successful individuals, entrepreneurs, and organizations to
21
bring their visions to life. But ultimately, ideas are a dime a dozen,
22
right?
23
And that’s when it hit me:
24 25
Your idea is just a dream until you execute it.
26 27
Throughout my career, I’ve played many roles—founder, CEO,
28
angel investor, wife, friend, mentor, mom—and the one skill that
29
has driven my success more than anything else is:
30
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
13
Execution
1 2
Execution separates the dreamers from the doers: it is the ability
3
to do and get results—to keep moving forward to achieve your
4
vision and goals in business and life despite the challenges, hard-
5
ships, and obstacles that lie ahead.
6
Execution is what I and the most successful entrepreneurs and
7
leaders I have known had mastered. Execution disrupted compla-
8
cency and markets. Regardless of role, organization, or industry,
9
execution was the difference between success and failure.
10
As I explored this idea further, I found not only personal and
11
anecdotal evidence for my belief but also supporting data. Ac-
12
cording to Harvard Business School professor Robert Kaplan
13
and his colleague David Norton, 90 percent of business strategies
14
fail due to poor execution.
1
15
Furthermore, based on a Harvard Business Review database,
16
employees at 60 percent of companies surveyed claimed that their
17
organization was “weak” at execution.2 Specifically, these respon-
18
dents denied that their organizations were able to quickly translate
19
important strategic and operational decisions into action.
20
What I believe is that those organizations failed to turn what
21
they were doing into results and sustainable success. Action was
22
only part of the equation. I had seen plenty of dreams get stuck in
23
a nebulous place, whether they were caught in trying to begin the
24
execution process or confused at how to continue once they began:
25 26
●●
Why did one person’s vision or big idea never leave the
27
garage or computer (or kitchen table) while similar ideas
28
took off?
29 30
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14 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
●●
2 3
late their passion into success? ●●
4 5
Why can some people check-off everything on a to-do list and never move forward on their goals?
●●
6 7
Why did the most passionate people I know fail to trans-
Why did people resilient enough to pivot well in crises still fall short?
●●
Why can some people do all that but still find themselves
8
alone—failing to work well with others or still struggling
9
even if they did work well with others?
10 11 12 13
The answer is that those people didn’t or couldn’t execute. Now here’s the best news: execution is a skill that can be learned.
14
I know this because I learned it, and you can too. I didn’t
15
emerge from the womb a master at execution. That would be like
16
saying I was born into leadership because I led my twin sister into
17
the world by nine minutes. I don’t believe I have an execution
18
gene or that one even exists. My success didn’t happen overnight
19
either, and neither did the idea for this book. My method came
20
way before my message. The successes I’ve achieved are the result
21
and the proof that my methodology works.
22
And my message to you before you begin is this:
23 24
You can change the course of your life
25
by mastering execution.
26 27 28 29 30
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15
1
Take the Execution Success Test!
2 3
If you haven’t yet, now is the time to learn which one of
4
the five traits you lead with—vision, passion, action, re-
5
silience, or relationships—by taking my five-minute free
6
Execution Success Test at KimPerell.com.
7
Remember: Unlike other tests and quizzes that “la-
8
bel” people as one thing or another, you are not one type
9
or another. This test will simply tell you the trait you lead
10
with right now for perspective moving forward.
11 12 13 14
The Truth About Success
15 16
Growing up with two entrepreneurs for parents, I learned that
17
success was almost never a straight line. Things rarely work out
18
exactly as planned. They hit ditches. Encountered winding curves
19
that left them headed in the wrong direction, forks in the road
20
with no signs to tell them which way to go, and detours just when
21
they thought they had finally reached their destination.
22
Flash forward to me as an adult on my own entrepreneurial
23
journey. I was sitting in an airport, waiting to depart so I could
24
get home to my family after another business trip, when I saw an
25
image in my mind that looked something like Figure 1.1. I smiled
26
at the accuracy of the image. Success only looks easy. It was the
27
perfect summary of my parent’s and my paths to success. A per-
28
fect summary of everyone’s path to success. If I were more of an
29 30
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16 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
artist, I’d add a few dead ends in there. Some lows that dip under
2
the bottom of the frame. A few of those forks I just mentioned.
3 4
Figure 1.1 What Success Really Looks Like
5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
Success may appear easy, but it’s never a straight line. It’s an
17
odyssey of sorts. This book will not change that. No book can.
18
No one can.
19
While I can’t straighten the line to success, I can show you
20
how to prepare yourself for the pitfalls, setbacks, tough deci-
21
sions, and hard work that will inevitably come. I can show you
22
how to master the one skill that drives success (execution) and
23
the five traits that propel great execution (the execution factor,
24
Figure 1.2): vision, passion, action, resilience, and relationships.
25
Vision, passion, action, resilience, and relationships: These
26
are the traits you need to develop into habits to execute at the
27
highest level. But while I present the five traits of execution sepa-
28
rately in this book, you will quickly learn that the execution fac-
29
tor is an ecosystem: interdependent, not independent. The traits
30
are best viewed as equal parts of a circle with the point in the
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
17
middle being execution at the highest level—the point where all
1
five traits are deployed in balance. The point where I and every
2
individual and company should strive to live every day.
3 4 5
Figure 1.2 The Execution Factor
6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
The Five Traits of the Execution Factor
25 26
The connective tissue of all the companies I have created, in-
27
vested in, and worked for is that they all reached success by
28
ensuring the five execution traits were represented in their lead-
29
ership and people.
30
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18 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Vision: Your North Star
2
People who lead with Vision know where they’re going. As the line
3
to success weaves its messy way to the top, your vision is your
4
compass, guiding you to your destination. Let me be clear: hav-
5
ing a vision is not the same as being visionary. It’s about having a
6
clear picture of what you want to achieve. Without a clear vision,
7
you don’t know what goals to set or what actions to take. By tak-
8
ing charge of your vision, being exactingly clear about what you
9
want, and following your North Star, you are setting yourself up
10
for a life of greater success and fulfillment.
11
Just like running a marathon, your North Star can have a lot
12
of checkpoints along the way. For example, my vision is to mo-
13
tivate and inspire others to achieve their dreams. Unfortunately,
14
there’s not enough time for me to meet with all the incredibly tal-
15
ented individuals with great ideas, so I am executing on my vision
16
by writing this book, creating an execution platform, and using
17
the proceeds to help fund as many individuals as possible. Just re-
18
member: No matter what your vision is, it’s essential that you can
19
see it and feel it. It must be meaningful to you so that you (and
20
eventually others through you) genuinely connect to it. That con-
21
nection is indispensable. It will make you more resilient, give you
22
something to focus on when times get tough, and help you fight
23
through the fear, uncertainty, and doubt.
24 25
Passion: What You’re Willing to Sacrifice and Suffer For
26
How I see passion may be different from what you might assume
27
or have read before. The word passion comes from Latin root
28
pati, meaning suffering or enduring. Thus, compassion means “to
29
suffer with” (the compassionate aren’t immune to other people’s
30
pain). Think about all the times you have comforted a friend in
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
19
pain or felt someone else’s compassion. Passion is, at its core, a
1
form of pain that demands it be quenched. Simply put, passion
2
is not just about the things you love but about those things that
3
you would happily suffer and sacrifice for. Therefore, mastering
4
Passion in execution is about maintaining the emotional connec-
5
tion to your vision and goals. This level of emotion is necessary
6
because it underpins almost everything good in our personal and
7
professional lives: positivity, self-belief, learning, focus, satisfac-
8
tion, and above all, motivation.
9
In the workplace, people who lead with passion often have
10
relentless energy and determination that inspires commitment,
11
engagement, and performance in others. Passion will give you
12
and those around you a sense of meaning, sustain you through
13
the seemingly unsustainable, and enable you to dig deep when it
14
counts the most. Just remember: Our emotions drive the positive
15
thoughts and feelings in our lives, but they also drive the nega-
16
tive ones!
17 18
Action: Taking That First Step and the Next One
19
People who lead with action know how to take the first step (ar-
20
guably the most challenging) and then the next ones. They don’t
21
hesitate or get stuck in analysis paralysis. They know every time
22
they act, they get one step closer to their goals. It’s too easy to
23
play it safe and wait for all the data. It’s especially easy to get
24
distracted when you’re thinking far ahead. Leading with action
25
doesn’t mean discounting the importance of strategy and plan-
26
ning. Rather, it means knowing that all analyses and projections
27
are only approximations and guesstimations. You don’t know
28
what will happen until you start, and action-oriented people
29
know there is no wrong way to start.
30
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20 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
People who lead with action seize the day to make things
2
happen. They may be scared, and they feel the fear, but they push
3
it aside and do it anyway! That’s what I did when I got on that
4
plane to Hawaii to start my first company. Was I scared? Yes, I
5
was terrified I would fail. But I didn’t let that stop me. I faced my
6
fear and moved anyway. Just remember: Action without vision
7
is just busyness, and it’s important to not mistake busyness for
8
progress. In a world of limited time and resources, you need to
9
carefully choose where to invest your energy and not get stuck in
10
a hamster wheel of repeating the same action over and over.
11 13
Resilience: Dealing with Obstacles, Change, and Uncertainty
14
People who lead with resilience accept uncertainty and overcome
15
the inevitable obstacles and roadblocks to success. This allows
16
them to thrive in change. There’s an elasticity in their confidence.
17
They bounce back after setbacks. They know how to handle a
18
crisis, they have confidence and gumption in the face of impend-
19
ing doom, and throughout it all they demonstrate a tendency to
20
recover stronger than before. They fail forward.
12
21
Resilience is not just about dealing with obstacles, crises,
22
and setbacks. It’s about dealing with them in constructive and
23
creative ways. Resilient people know you can’t change the wind
24
but you can change your sail! This makes them inspiring—even
25
stabilizing—influences when situations are intense, conditions
26
are in chaos, or obstacles seem insurmountable. They believe they
27
have control over the events in their lives even when the world
28
seems to be working against them. They have heartset and mind-
29
set in balance so they know when to give up and when to con-
30
tinue despite the challenges that lie ahead.
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21
Relationships: Having the Right People in Your Life
1
Building healthy, inspiring, supportive relationships is not just
2
the cornerstone to successful execution. It’s the cornerstone to
3
happiness. The most significant element in any person’s life is the
4
people. We are biologically wired to connect with others, rely on
5
those around us, and work together. In short, we are at our best
6
when we have the capacity to collaborate. And of course, success
7
is always better shared. Honestly, I wouldn’t be where I am to-
8
day without all the people who have helped and supported me
9
along the way.
10
Great relationships aren’t a luxury. They are a necessity. And
11
like every other valuable asset, they need time, care, and attention
12
in business just as in life. Those who know the power of relation-
13
ships have an ability to recognize the strengths and talents of in-
14
dividuals and are guided by a win-win mentality, always on the
15
lookout for areas of reciprocity and mutual success. They also
16
know the importance of being with people who believe in them
17
and provide the strength they need to transform their vision into
18
reality. In fact, if you change nothing else in your life than the
19
people you spend your time with, you will have increased your
20
chances of success tenfold.
21 22 23
Ready, Set, Execute!
24 25
My life continues to be transformed by these five traits of execu-
26
tion, and I owe my success in business and life to mastering them.
27
I use them all the time—whether planning our next family adven-
28
ture, determining which entrepreneurs I want to invest in, work-
29
ing on the next big deal for my company, or writing this book.
30
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22 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Now you can master them too. And if you think you have mas-
2
tered them? Know I work every day to execute better to achieve
3
my life goals—and that means turning these traits into habits.
4
Mastering the five traits of execution will turn them into habits.
5
What does that mean? Habits are traits that have evolved
6
into something settled and regular—something so ingrained that
7
you do them almost without thinking about them. You want to
8
make the five traits of execution habitual and simultaneously
9
eliminate the bad habits that get in their way. Think of execution
10
like exercise:
11 12
●●
working out the other parts will compensate. Eventually
13
the parts you’re not exercising will weaken.
14 15
●●
your body will start to decline.
17 19 20
If you reach your goal working out, you can’t stop exercising and magically maintain where you are. Eventually
16 18
If you stop working out parts of your body, it’s not like
●●
If you fail to work even harder to push past your goals once you reach them, it’s unlikely you’ll keep getting better and achieve new goals. You will just maintain how you are now.
21
For some people that may be fine. Not for me, however, and
22
(I’m hoping) not for you. I want you to execute better in every
23
aspect of your life and then keep doing it better so you don’t just
24
maintain but grow to achieve even more extraordinary things!
25
In business, no one can afford to just “maintain” these days and
26
hold off the competition—for your business or your job. All it
27
takes for you to lose your job is one person or company who
28
wants it more than you do and executes better.
29
Oh, and one more thing: If you think these five traits sound
30
simple? You’re right. And that’s a good thing. This book and
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
23
mastering execution is structured in a straightforward, concise
1
way that gets results.
2
Remember: Simple and easy are two very different things—
3
and people who think they know better often confuse the two.
4
Besides, even when things are easy—and might save you some
5
pain or even your life—people don’t always do them. For exam-
6
ple, who doesn’t know putting on sunscreen prevents sunburn?
7
Sunburns don’t just hurt. Sun exposure is the leading cause of
8
skin cancer, the most common cancer in the United States. Yet ac-
9
cording to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, fewer
10
than two-thirds of all Americans wear sunscreen, even when they
11
have nothing against it.
3
12
Truth is, it doesn’t matter if you think these traits of execution
13
are easy, simple, or challenging to execute, or somewhere in be-
14
tween. In reality, many people who fail to execute just aren’t will-
15
ing to take the time or won’t commit themselves to do the work.
16
I didn’t go from broke to multimillionaire. I went from broke
17
to $100,000 and then from $100,000 to $1 million and then
18
from $1 million to $10 million, and so on, recommitting my-
19
self to execute better after I reached each milestone. That’s how
20
I kept climbing. That’s how I kept evolving. That’s how I became
21
the master of my success. Mastering execution will allow you to
22
reach your goals and mark new milestones. To become an ex-
23
pert, it will take time and a willingness to get outside your com-
24
fort zone to hone your strengths and confront your weaknesses.
25
The people and companies I know who have mastered execution
26
understand they need all five traits to be successful. It’s a balance.
27
Think back to earlier in this chapter to my list of questions
28
about why people fail to execute. Remember those people who
29
check off everything on their to-do lists but never move forward
30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 23
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24 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
and deliver results on their goals? They’ve often lost touch with
2
their vision and stop making progress because action without vi-
3
sion is just busyness. But vision without action is just dreaming.
4
Passion without resilience will leave you unable to bounce back
5
from setbacks. Resilience without vision can leave you course cor-
6
recting to oblivion. If you use all the traits but you don’t have the
7
right relationships and you don’t actually value the people in your
8
life, you won’t get to where you need and want to be—because no
9
one is successful alone.
10
This is why you can’t just focus on the trait you lead with. It’s
11
like building an arch: the structure can be strong and complete
12
only when all the traits are working in tandem. You need to de-
13
velop all the traits to navigate the ups and downs and the zigs and
14
zags of success. If you took the Execution Success Test, you know
15
which trait that is. However, you must remember this: the trait
16
you lead with—and any trait you master—can be a great advan-
17
tage and disadvantage as you execute. It’s a double-edged sword.
18
Sometimes, you can have too much of a good thing, and when you
19
do, that’s when the traits on the opposite side of the circle get ig-
20
nored. For example, when I am deep in Action and ready to do do
21
do, I have to make sure I am still considering the needs of others,
22
not steamrolling other good ideas, or having my people do only
23
what they are told and nothing else. The reverse is also true. If I
24
spend too much time analyzing the pros and cons of an opportu-
25
nity, I might never act.
26
Think of the traits of execution as being like the forces of na-
27
ture around us. The sun is vision, the water is passion, fire is ac-
28
tion, earth is resilience, and the winds are relationships—beautiful,
29
harmonious, and powerful in balance but potentially dangerous in
30
extremes.
1260128520_perell_final.indb 24
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Hit ting Rock Bot tom: The Truth About Success
25
Finally, before we continue, please know that none of what
1
you read and do when it comes to execution will lead to success
2
if what you are doing isn’t personally meaningful.
3
Throughout this book, I want you to be thinking about how
4
this material specifically relates to you. To make sure, I’ll be giv-
5
ing you Pulse Check exercises as you read, and at the end of every
6
chapter I’ll be giving you self-reflection activities and questions.
7
Those reflections start now.
8
What do you hope to get out of this book?
9
Something brought you to this point. What is it? An idea you
10
want to bring to reality? A business you want to get started? A pro-
11
motion you want to achieve? A boss asking you to step up? Per-
12
haps you’ve just experienced a major failure or disappointment,
13
and you want to have the skills to handle it better next time.
14
All that and more is possible, but there is also a bigger, more
15
important question you must answer too:
16
Why are you here?
17
Not just what do you hope to achieve, but why. If you don’t
18
know where you’re going, how do you expect to get there? Move-
19
ment in many directions is not progress. It’s chaos. Splintered at-
20
tention to a goal can bring you more pain than relief, but you can
21
have different actions supporting your vision. You can even have
22
different visions—personal and professional—at the same time.
23
But you have to know what they are and why they are important
24
to you to truly commit.
25
So . . . why are you here?
26
Take a moment to answer and write your answer down be-
27
fore continuing. You’ve got this!
28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1 2
T R A I T
3
1
4 5
VISION
6
Your North Star
9
7 8 10
Don’t let small minds convince you
11
your dreams are too big.
12
—ANONYMOUS
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
2
2 3 4 5
Moon Shot
6 7 8 9 10 11
M
12 ay 1961. The height of the Cold War. The previous month
13
had been brutal for the United States. The Berlin Wall had
14
gone up. The CIA-trained force leading the Bay of Pigs Invasion in
15
Cuba to unseat Castro was unsuccessful. And NASA’s space pro-
16
gram was failing as the Soviet Union’s cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin
17
became the first human to reach space and orbit the Earth.
18
President John F. Kennedy knew America needed a vision—
19
something that would rally the nation, inflate its heart, and in-
20
spire dreams. He delivered. By the end of the decade, he told a
21
joint session of Congress, our nation would put a man on the
22
moon and return him safely to Earth.
23
Less than a year later, in February 1962, John Glenn became
24
the first American to orbit the Earth, and NASA was back in the
25
game. Kennedy renewed his commitment to his vision with these
26
riveting words: “We choose to go to the moon in this decade and
27
do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they
28
are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the
29
best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that
30
29
1260128520_perell_final.indb 29
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30 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and
2
one which we intend to win, and the others, too.”1
3
On July 20, 1969, more than five years after Kennedy’s assas-
4
sination, the Eagle landed, and American Neil Armstrong became
5
the first man to step on the moon. Our nation would need all the
6
traits of execution to get there, but it was Kennedy’s vision that
7
kept the country motivated and drove us through it all.
8 9
As an entrepreneur, I have always shot for the moon and found inspiration for my vision by following what I call my North Star.
10 11
Your North Star
12 13 14
I have always had a North Star in my life: one big and bright vi-
15
sion that the rest of my life revolves around—an inner compass
16
that fuels my passion and determines my actions. When my vi-
17
sion is clear and compelling, I know where I am and where I’m
18
going. This is an empowered state that has served me well, and it
19
also happens to be the starting point for the first trait to master to
20
execute at the highest levels: vision.
21
Having a vision is not the same as being a visionary. It’s not
22
about seeing five moves ahead or building a better mousetrap.
23
Those are things you do to achieve your vision. A vision is about
24
having a crystal-clear picture of something you want to achieve,
25
as Kennedy did. The most successful people I know have a clear
26
vision of what they want to achieve—a North Star to maintain
27
their focus in a world of distractions.
28
Those who don’t have a vision are like Alice, lost in Wonder-
29
land, asking the Cheshire Cat, “Would you tell me, please, which
30
way I ought to go from here?”
1260128520_perell_final.indb 30
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Moon Shot
31
The Cat asks where she wants to get to.
1
“I don’t much care where,” says Alice.
2
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” says the Cat.
3 4 5
Those Who Lead with Vision Know Where They’re Going
6 7 8
Where do you want to go? What’s your vision for your life? Are
9
you Alice or the Cat? I’ve always had a vision of the life I wanted
10
to live. I wanted to run stuff. I wanted to make things happen.
11
When I was a kid, I saw my parents get knocked down and get
12
back up to keep pursuing their vision of a great life for us. My
13
childhood vision of that great life was more about immediate
14
gratification—earning money to get the things I wanted: an ice
15
cream, horseback riding lessons, a car. By the time I graduated
16
from college, broke and in debt to my parents, my vision had
17
evolved. I wanted to earn my financial freedom. I had considered
18
those traditional jobs in investment banking and marketing, but
19
I knew, with the vision I had, I needed to do something different. I
20
needed to find a job that had high opportunity, and that meant
21
high risk. So I took the job at the Internet startup before the dot-
22
com bubble burst.
23
You know how that turned out: the company went bankrupt,
24
and I found myself broke again at 23. I was devastated. However,
25
that experience helped me change direction on how I was going
26
to achieve my vision of living an incredible life: I needed to create
27
it myself. I didn’t just want to live an incredible life with finan-
28
cial freedom. I wanted to be in charge of my own destiny. I fought
29
through my fear—and the voices around me and in my head that
30
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32 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
told me to take a more stable career path—and started my own
2
company.
3
Again, you know how that turned out: my first company
4
thrived, and I sold it for $30 million. The company had grown to
5
over $100 million in revenue, and I had achieved my vision for
6
that great life. But that success, first and foremost, had nothing
7
to do with what business I was in or the tactics I took. I certainly
8
never had a vision to build and run a digital marketing company
9
selling remote control toys, teeth whiteners, and wrinkle reduc-
10
ers. I did have the vision for freedom and control of my life, and I
11
did everything it took to get there.
12
My vision wasn’t to build a company and sell it. My vision
13
was to maintain the extraordinary life I had built. On the beach.
14
With my husband. Start a family. No matter what was thrown at
15
me or what challenge was looming on the horizon, I never lost
16
sight of that North Star. It guided me to where I am today. By
17
focusing on it relentlessly, my chances of success increased ex-
18
ponentially. Sure I had other visions—call them sub-visions or
19
micro-visions—going at any time, but I’ve found that it’s impor-
20
tant to have one that is front and center, a pilot commanding my
21
focus and energy. Visions can also grow and change and evolve.
22
The point is that at any time, you have that clear vision. Then
23
you can look at what goals you’d like to set or actions you need
24
to take to get there. Your vision gives those actions purpose and
25
meaning. The work is hard, but your vision drives you forward.
26 27
Without a clear vision you can see and
28
feel, you don’t know what goals to set or
29
what actions to take.
30
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Moon Shot
33
By taking charge of your vision, being crystal clear about
1
what you want, and staying on track with your North Star, you
2
are setting yourself up for a life of greater success and fulfillment.
3
Maybe you know this already. Maybe you’re like me and have a
4
clear picture of your life vision, and that’s your driving force. Or
5
maybe your vision right now is about a dream, a big goal you’d
6
like to accomplish, or something you’d like to do. Doesn’t matter
7
if it is all, some, or none of these.
8 9
Mastering the skill of execution starts by articulating and understanding what your vision is. Vision is first and foremost your
10
guide to where you are going and what you will do with your life,
11
not what you are doing presently:
12
●●
13
You can have a vision about the major purpose of your
14
life (such as making a positive impact on people or the
15
environment or having financial freedom). ●●
16
You can have a vision of what you want to do (like being
17
an artist or a learning to cook). ●●
18
You can have a vision that’s a dream you’d like to be-
19
come reality (like buying a house or starting a new
20
business). ●●
21
You can have a vision that’s a big goal (like running a
22
marathon or traveling the world).
23
The list above by no means covers the spectrum of what your
24
vision can be. The most important thing is that you have one. No
25
matter what it is, you must be able to see it and feel it clearly. So
26
without further ado, let’s look at your vision.
27 28 29 30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 33
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34 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Vision Pulse Check What vision is driving you right now? Write it down. Don’t worry if you’re not quite sure. I know we are jumping right into this, so if you’re feeling really stuck, think about what brought you to this book. I’m guessing there is something you want to do, build, create, accomplish, or make happen. What is it?
10 11 12 13
How did that go for you? Did you see and feel your vision? Was it crystal clear and right out in front of you?
14
Don’t worry if the exercise was difficult: Your vision needs
15
to be uncomplicated, but the process of articulating your vision,
16
let alone executing it, is often far from easy. And don’t worry if
17
your vision doesn’t feel exactly right. Whether you are dream-
18
ing big or starting small, you’ll have a chance to review, refine,
19
or maybe even change it as we move forward, so it doesn’t have
20
to be perfect right now. This is just the first step to finding your
21
North Star—that inner compass. The next steps involve defining
22
and refining your North Star no matter how clear you think it is
23
already and building guardrails so you won’t get lost in your vi-
24
sion as you try to achieve it.
25 26 27 28 29 30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 34
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Moon Shot
35
1
VISION CHECK
2
Questions for Self-Reflection
3 4
Before continuing, look again at your vision:
5 Do you feel that this vision is clear, compelling, and
6
meaningful to you?
7
Do you feel comfortable that this is the right vision for you—
8
even if you’re not sure how you’re going to get there?
9
Can you easily articulate your North Star to others in one
10
sentence?
11 12
If the answer to any of these questions is no, please go back and revise
13
your vision.
14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
3
2 3 4 5
Living Someone Else’s Dream
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
A
13 ccording to friends and family and a few people at work,
14
Darren made “the best chili in the entire world.” They
15
begged him to make it and to bring it to parties and potlucks.
16
Every time he did, they exclaimed, “This is so good! You should
17
open a food truck! You’d make millions.”
18
For his part, Darren never dreamed about owning a food
19
truck—or a restaurant or anything else in the food business.
20
He was a maintenance manager for a hospital. Had been for 17
21
years. He had nothing to do with food service. But every time he
22
made the chili, he heard the same thing: “We can totally see you
23
doing it.” There was just one problem: Darren didn’t. Eventually
24
he started wondering if he should . . .
25
Owning a food truck didn’t seem like much fun when Darren
26
thought about it. He didn’t even eat at them much, preferring to
27
bring his lunch to work to save money. Some quick searches on
28
Google indicated the business was tough—as tough as the restau-
29
rant business, which has a very high failure rate. But food trucks
30
37
1260128520_perell_final.indb 37
7/12/18 12:09 PM
38 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
were making up a growing scene around town. When he took his
2
lunch outside, he always saw lines at the half dozen or so that
3
parked on the street near the hospital. He watched the people
4
working the trucks and he talked to the owners. They all loved
5
what they were doing.
6
Darren didn’t think he would love it, but how could so many
7
people he loved be wrong? He started seeing dollar signs and
8
pushed himself to make it happen.
9
After the kids were asleep, he worked on the truck. He in-
10
vested his savings. He created a business plan, but the bank didn’t
11
see his vision, and he got turned down for a small business loan.
12
Instead, he borrowed some funds from his parents and a few of
13
those friends who had been egging him on. When he needed more
14
time to make it work, he chalked up his lack of progress to his
15
day job, and he quit to devote himself full time. He took classes
16
on food safety and prep in order to get his license.
17
After one of the owners of another food truck around town
18
invited him to work a shift with her, Darren accepted, and the
19
next day he brought her some of his chili.
20 21
“It’s delicious,” she said, and then she noted how unhappy he looked all day. “Did you have fun yesterday?”
22
Darren nodded his head yes, but he knew he didn’t mean it,
23
and she didn’t buy it either. To her, Darren just seemed stressed
24
and angry. “Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked.
25
“I will . . . eventually,” Darren said.
26
He wanted to believe that—wanted to believe he would even-
27
tually want to do this and be able to have the vision of himself
28
in his truck, serving chili to long lines, having fun. Other people
29
saw that for him, but he doubted more and more every day that
30
he ever would. A few weeks later, still stressed and now angry all
1260128520_perell_final.indb 38
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Living Someone Else’s Dream
39
the time, Darren was broke. He sold the truck, paid back what
1
he could, and thankfully was able to get a job doing the work he
2
loved: maintenance.
3
What happened? Why did Darren fail to execute on his vi-
4
sion and succeed—or even see the vision come to life? Because he
5
never wanted to open a food truck. Making chili for friends and
6
family that made them happy was what he liked to do. He could
7
be on his feet all day chopping, stirring, and cleaning to serve
8
chili to everyone he loved, but he had no desire to do those things
9
to serve strangers. The food truck was their vision for him.
10 11 12
Refining Your Vision
13 14
When Darren listened to his dreams of dollars and what oth-
15
ers envisioned for him rather than what he saw for himself, he
16
violated all three of the three critical elements for refining your
17
vision to ensure that you have all the necessary components
18
to bring it life. No matter your vision, big or small, the desire to
19
make money is not enough to do that.
20 21
Your vision must ●●
Be crystal clear.
●●
Be meaningful.
●●
Feel comfortable and congruent with who you are.
22 23 24 25 26
Be Crystal Clear
27
You need to be able to see your vision, feel it, and touch it. You
28
must then be able to clearly articulate that vision to yourself
29
and others.
30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 39
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40 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Darren never saw his vision for his food truck; only others
2
did. That won’t work. People without passion are transparent.
3
People see right through you, sometimes before you do, like the
4
bank that rejected Darren’s loan and the woman who owned
5
the food truck.
6
As I said, I have always had a crystal-clear vision of my life
7
and the life I wanted to live. As a kid, I could see working for
8
what I wanted, working for my financial independence after col-
9
lege, and controlling my own destiny and being accountable for
10
my own day-to-day actions when I started my own company.
11
That clarity is one of the tenets of my success. I had to make
12
sure my vision was crystal clear to those who worked with and
13
for me. They may have had their own visions to pursue, but I
14
needed them to share and help me achieve mine. They needed to
15
be crystal clear on that in order to truly believe in the importance
16
of where we were going. They had to see my purpose—know
17
my “why.” People work for people, not companies. A connec-
18
tion to your vision only reaffirms that paradigm. The legendary
19
Sam Walton was famous for knowing every janitor by name at
20
his Walmart stores when he shook their hands—and they wanted
21
to shake his. It was crystal clear that they were on their journeys
22
together.
23 24
Be Meaningful
25
Your vision must be something you feel connected to from the be-
26
ginning. It must compel your passion. Thus, it’s essential to ask
27
yourself, “Why is this vision important to me?”
28
Darren loved his friends and cooking chili for them. Where
29
he went off the rails was trying to extend that vision to something
30
that wasn’t meaningful to him and expecting that he eventually
1260128520_perell_final.indb 40
7/12/18 12:09 PM
Living Someone Else’s Dream
41
would come around. Does that mean if the food truck had been
1
meaningful to Darren or if he had been passionate about food
2
trucks, he would have succeeded? Of course not. But even success
3
would have been meaningless to him, which might have been a
4
fate sadder than failure.
5
Unlike Darren, I liked what I did and enjoyed the process,
6
but what made it meaningful was my vision for living an extraor-
7
dinary life. It was a constant reminder of what I was in it for and
8
why I had to stay committed. The only way I could see getting
9
that was to go out on my own and feel the freedom that doing so
10
gave me to do the things I wanted. I could go to the gym at noon
11
and work until 2 a.m. See a midday matinee or sit and just listen
12
to the ocean waves. What allowed me to revel in my freedom was
13
that I never wavered from my vision. That kept me focused and
14
fostered my passion. When I brought others on board, they never
15
doubted how much this meant to me, and I learned to let it fos-
16
ter their passion too.
17 18
Feel Comfortable and Congruent with Who You Are
19
Your vision must be exactly that: yours.
20
I admired Darren’s willingness to go all in, and he definitely
21
loved cooking and making chili. But that wasn’t enough. He
22
never ate at food trucks or worked in the food industry. It would
23
have been far cheaper to test the waters by working a shift at
24
a truck before he was blinded by dollar signs and bought his
25
own truck. He had never charged anyone for food or cooked
26
for complete strangers. He could have entered something like
27
a chili cook-off, seen how it felt to cook for people he didn’t
28
know, and have them judge him. Then he might have known if
29
the food truck dream was his or someone else’s. After all, just
30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 41
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42 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
because you’re good at something doesn’t necessarily mean that
2
it is a passion of yours. Sometimes we like to just enjoy the skills
3
for what they are rather than developing or monetizing them—
4
like a musical instrument you enjoyed messing around with but
5
never wanted to take lessons on.
6
You must instinctively feel comfortable with your vision.
7
There should be no reservations. If you have them, you need to
8
investigate that uncertainty. If you have a sense of anger, stress, or
9
doubt when you think about your vision, take some time to as-
10
sess why. Double-check that it’s what is right for you and what
11
you truly want. I’m not talking about fear or anxiety and whether
12
you can be successful. Those feelings are normal. As I said, when
13
I started my own company, I was terrified. But I knew my vision
14
was right. In fact, it was who I am. As a child of entrepreneurs,
15
this vision of freedom was in my bones. This gave me an acute
16
ability to identify when I was chasing a dream for me, not being
17
pressured to chase one that wasn’t mine. Too often our visions
18
are something others want or expect from us, and that creates a
19
distance from what we truly desire. My parents let me figure this
20
out for myself, and you must as well.
21 22
Bringing Your Vision to Life
23 24 25
Now that you know the three essential components for refining
26
your vision, I’m going to tell you a story about seeing your vision
27
and bringing it to life. It’s personal to me, a family heirloom that’s
28
been passed down for generations. My grandfather told it to my
29
dad, who told it to me and my sister when we were kids, and it is
30
a great illustration of this idea.
1260128520_perell_final.indb 42
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Living Someone Else’s Dream
43
Two young men were working on the railroad, laying track
1
beside each other every single day for a year. They had lunch ev-
2
ery day and talked about everything from their families to cur-
3
rent events to music to what would come next after this part of
4
the job was finished. When the job was done, the men were sent
5
to new jobs far from each other. They fell out of touch.
6
In his new location, one man befriended the foreman, and he
7
asked the foreman about learning new skills and how the company
8
worked. He eventually became the foreman of his own crew, and
9
he worked his way up over 30 years to become a regional president
10
of the railroad itself, overseeing its ever-expanding operations. On
11
one of his tours of the rails, the president saw a familiar face among
12
the tracklayers about to have lunch. The face was older and more
13
weathered than the one he knew, but he recognized it instantly.
14
The president disembarked from his railcar office and ap-
15
proached the man. “I know you,” he said. “We used to work to-
16
gether on these railroads.”
17
The two men exchanged a warm handshake and a laugh, and
18
the president invited the man into his railcar to have lunch for an
19
hour in honor of the hundreds of hours they had shared decades
20
ago. They spent the time catching up and reminiscing about the
21
old days. But there was a sting of sadness for one of the men be-
22
cause the “old days” were his current ones. Before they parted,
23
the president asked the other man why he had never tried to
24
work his way up the ranks the way he had. His friend responded,
25
“I get paid to lay track.”
26
That was the fundamental difference between the president
27
and the tracklayer: one went to work for a paycheck; the other
28
went to work for the railroad. One was building the company;
29
the other was building the track.
30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 43
7/12/18 12:09 PM
44 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
As I grew up, I carried this story and its lesson close to my
2
heart. My grandfather was one of the biggest influences on my busi-
3
ness mind. My dad was a serial entrepreneur, but my grandfa-
4
ther was a prominent turnaround CEO, and he had a special
5
kind of vision. He would go into a troubled company, see what it
6
needed, and devote his passion to fixing it up. He tirelessly fought
7
through the obstacles to turn it around, built relationships in-
8
side and out to get it sold, and then promptly got fired by the new
9
owners. He then started all over again with a new company.
10
My grandfather was the execution factor incarnate. He was
11
so good at it that the Wall Street Journal profiled his career in
12
1972. What’s more impressive is that my grandfather worked
13
himself up from the coal mines to get his education before he had
14
the vision to become the savior of those companies.
15
Given his history, I thought the railroad story was true.
16
It wasn’t.
17
I found that out later in life when I heard similar stories. I’m
18
sure you’ve heard similar ones too. Sometimes the men are con-
19
struction workers or fishermen. I’ve heard it told in parable form
20
in which a man comes across two bricklayers at a building site
21
and asks them what they are doing. One says he is laying bricks;
22
the other says he is building a cathedral. My personal favorite
23
(and one that is appropriate for how this chapter started) is the
24
one in which President Kennedy visits NASA and comes across
25
a young man sweeping the floors. He asks the man if he likes
26
sweeping the floors at NASA, and the man says, “I’m not sweep-
27
ing floors. I’m helping send a man to the moon.”
28
The fact that none of these stories are true does not dimin-
29
ish their power to me. In fact, they only reinforce the point of
30
how much more engaged and committed people are who see the
1260128520_perell_final.indb 44
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Living Someone Else’s Dream
45
railroad beyond the track, the cathedral beyond the bricks, and
1
the moon beyond the broom.
2 3 4
Painting a crystal-clear picture of what you
5
want to achieve and knowing exactly what it
6
will look like when you get there is essential.
7 8 9
Visions will help clarify and keep you focused on what’s important to you. They can also express your meaning and purpose.
10
The equation is simple: the vision you have determines your com-
11
mitment and the meaning of what you are doing. All you need to
12
do is bring your vision to life. Michelangelo believed that all his
13
sculptures were alive inside the block of marble, and it was
14
his job to carve them out and let them breathe. Your first step is
15
not to start sculpting yet but to use the process of visualization—
16
to see beyond the possibilities that are right in front of you.
17
Imagery is incredibly powerful in directing our conscious and
18
even unconscious behaviors. Images penetrate the entire mind
19
and influence us in more ways than we can see. A lot of research
20
supports how visualizing an action or an outcome makes you
21
much more likely to be able to execute it. Sometimes it leads to
22
success even without action. In one study, subjects were divided
23
into two groups. For one month one group did conditioning ex-
24
ercises on their arms; the other simply visualized doing the exer-
25
cises. At the end of the month, those who exercised their biceps
26
increased muscle mass by 28 percent.
27
What’s fascinating is that those who merely imagined doing
28
the exercise increased muscle mass by 24 percent! Those who sim-
29
ply visualized the exercises physically saw changes. Wild, right?1
30
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46 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
This is why visualization as a practice is so important: ev-
2
ery time you see yourself doing an action, you are actually using
3
the same neural pathways that you use to actually perform that
4
action. Therefore, repetitive visualization will reinforce the mes-
5
sage as well as the action. If you get specific and clear about what
6
you want and you are able to see it—to animate and really pic-
7
ture it—then you can make it happen. That’s because seeing is
8
more than believing. A vision elicits emotion. It can fire you up,
9
clarify your goals, and help you stay focused. Your body, mind,
10
and spirit can devote themselves to something you can see. Think
11
about all the powerful words that have sight in them that repre-
12
sent wisdom: insight, foresight, hindsight, and others.
13
One great way to do this is to visualize your vision as if you
14
have already achieved it, to give yourself a bird’s-eye view of your
15
achievement. Imagine yourself being successful. What would you
16
see, hear, or feel if you had achieved the vision already? Really
17
put yourself in the feeling as if it has already happened. For ex-
18
ample, if your vision is to start your own business, how can you
19
bring that vision to life?
20 21
●●
What would you see? Is it a small office or a big build-
22
ing? Are you working on your own or with a team? What
23
does it look like? Can you picture running meetings in a
24
conference room?
25
●●
What would you feel? Is it the excitement of sitting at
26
your desk each morning, or pitching your business to
27
potential investors? What would the energy be like?
28
●●
What would you hear? Is it the buzz of staff or the ring of
29
a bell with each sale? Is it the interview where someone is
30
asking how you got there?
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Living Someone Else’s Dream
47
It’s important to note that none of these questions have any-
1
thing to do with what you might call “goal setting.” You can’t
2
break down a vision into goals and actionable steps if you can’t
3
see it in your mind. How can you know what it will take to
4
achieve a vision if you haven’t mapped the steps to get there and
5
you don’t know what you are looking for? Right now is the time
6
to make sure that what you see is as big as it can be. Whether
7
your vision is big or small, make sure it is the railroad, cathedral,
8
or moon of its kind!
9
The biggest mistake you can ever make is not to dream big,
10
expansive, or bold enough. Experience and data may tell you
11
otherwise, but they are only two of the many factors that go into
12
your vision. Yes, your vision must be real, not a mirage or a hal-
13
lucination. This isn’t about wishful thinking. Your vision needs to
14
be based on reality, but it needs to include the biggest opportuni-
15
ties and possibilities you can see. But beware! There is one area
16
where vision building can get you into trouble: if you see a vision
17
that has little basis in your reality.
18 19 20
Whatever your dream is,
21
dream it bigger and start now.
22 23
People may treat them as synonyms, but reality and real-
24
istic are two different things. I’m grounded in reality, but like
25
Kennedy’s moon shot vision, I never believe that anything I can
26
visualize is unrealistic. That’s self-limiting. Which is why I never
27
hesitated to get on that plane to Hawaii with just a laptop, a
28
$10,000 loan, and the experience and relationships I had to start
29
my first company.
30
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48 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
I admit that even I sold my vision short. I never saw my first
2
company growing beyond $50 million in revenue or ever reach-
3
ing $100 million. But after selling my vision short, I never let it
4
happen again—and I don’t want it to happen to you. It’s critical
5
that your belief in yourself is stronger anyone else’s doubt.
6
How big you see yourself growing is part of your North Star
7
burning at its brightest. Trust me, you are ablaze with opportunity.
8 9
VISION CHECK
10
Questions for Self-Reflection
11 12
Reflect on the vision that you wrote out in the last chapter, and take a
13
few moments to answer the questions below to make sure your vision
14
is exactly what it needs to be. Close your eyes and visualize it as if you
15
had already achieved your vision:
16 17 18 19 20 21
What do you see? What do you hear? What do you feel? Remember: Specificity will help you bring it to life.
22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 48
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1
4
2 3 4 5
Don’t Just Think It, Ink It
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
O
13 n June 10, 2014, the headline plastered across the TechCrunch
14
home page read:
15 16
BAM! Amobee Buys Adconion for $235 Million
17 18
But unlike the sale of my first company in 2008 to Adconion,
19
I knew this sale was going to happen. In fact, this headline was
20
my vision. I had visualized it in my mind almost a year before and
21
then seen it every day since. I had written down my goal to sell to
22
Singtel (Amobee’s parent company), a date, and a publication on
23
a piece of notepaper and taped it to my bathroom mirror. I had
24
looked at my dream and myself every day.
25
My vision propelled me forward in the months it took close
26
the deal. It kept me motivated as I worked to get meetings with the
27
mergers and acquisitions team at Amobee. It didn’t let me get dis-
28
couraged when the banker I hired had to wait months to do his
29
job because when I brought him on, we weren’t as close to closing
30
49
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50 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
the sale as I thought we were. We were going to get there! It
2
helped me keep hope alive and energized when I started to won-
3
der if I could pull it off. Even when the doubt inevitably trickled
4
in during the year before closing, I returned to my vision on the
5
mirror—my windshield wiper clearing the view ahead. Through
6
the setbacks, obstacles, and enormous amount of time and energy
7
it took, I never gave up. I persevered.
8
I really don’t think I could have done it if I hadn’t been able
9
to see that vision on my mirror every morning and night I was
10
home. If I hadn’t kept a relentless focus and energy at closing this
11
deal, I would have floundered. But my North Star was on that
12
piece of paper, and it guided me for nearly a year, as I lived to
13
turn my vision into reality.
14
There are distractions at every corner, deadlines, meetings,
15
relationships to maintain, fires to put out, employees who need
16
your time, family and friends who need you—how do you stay
17
on track and faithful to your vision? With the world swirling
18
around you, how can you make sure you’re mindful of distrac-
19
tions and other events that threaten to take you off course?
20 21 22 23 24
Two ways: 1. Write your vision down where you can see it daily. 2. Use that as a reminder of how to prioritize your time daily.
25
It’s that simple! These two points will have a huge impact on
26
your ability to stay on track with your goal to execute your vi-
27
sion successfully.
28 29 30
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51
Write Your Vision Down and Review It Regularly
1 2 3
The importance of having goals has been well documented for
4
decades. Research by Edwin Locke, one of the pioneers in re-
5
searching goal setting and its impact on performance, found that
6
having specific and challenging goals led to a much higher perfor-
7
mance than did having easy or no goals.
1
8 9
But just having goals is not enough. You need to write that vision down. That way, it reinforces what you have brought to life
10
in your mind, compels you to think about it every day, and makes
11
you articulate and focus on it and share it with the world (or at
12
least anyone who shares your bathroom).
13 14 15 16
Vision Pulse Check
17
Right now, find a place to write your vision down where
18
you can see and review it regularly. Maybe it’s on your lap-
19
top. Maybe it’s in a notebook or planner. Maybe it’s on your
20
bathroom mirror!
21
If you don’t write it down, it will soon be out of sight
22
and out of mind.
23 24 25
According to research by David Kohl, professor emeritus
26
at Virginia Tech, 80 percent of Americans do not have any type
27
of definable goals. In fact, Professor Kohl reports that of the 20
28
percent who have goals, 16 percent don’t write them down and
29 30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 51
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52 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
3 percent write them down but don’t review them. That means
2
only 1 percent of people have goals, write them down, and review
3
them on a regular basis.2 Only 1 percent!? That’s a 1 percent
4
everyone should want to be a part of no matter what they believe
5
in. These are the people who are most successful for an action
6
everyone has in their power to achieve but precious few do.
7
Kohl also suggests that people who write down their goals
8
earn nine times as much over their lifetime as people who don’t
9
have goals. So don’t just think it. Ink it!
10 11
Prioritize Your Vision
12 13 14
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to
15
schedule your priorities.” I love that Stephen Covey line. He
16
wrote it decades ago, back when a tweet was just a bird noise.
17
Today, distraction is everywhere, starting with the phones in
18
our hands. According to Steelcase, the typical office worker gets
19
interrupted every 11 minutes and receives more than 100 e-mails
20
a day. It’s easy for your vision to get lost in the sea of texts and
21
to-do lists. There’s nothing wrong with those lists, but you must
22
keep pushing your vision back to the top of any list you make, es-
23
pecially when more urgent—but not necessarily more important–
24
items start to take up too much space.
25 26 27
Your vision should always be a priority.
28
You need to make time to execute your vision.
29 30
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Don’ t Just Think It, Ink It
53
Scheduling your priorities for your vision and then repriori-
1
tizing them every day means you are focused on the action steps
2
that are required from you to execute. This includes minimiz-
3
ing the noise in your life and increasing your bandwidth to la-
4
ser focus on what’s most important to achieving your vision. I
5
consciously built a support system around me that allows me
6
to concentrate on my strengths. I don’t waste mental energy on
7
things I don’t believe will absolutely contribute in some way to
8
achieving my vision. My friends tease me that I am the least ed-
9
ucated person they know on pop culture—songs, TV shows, ce-
10
lebrities, podcasts, fashion . . . the list goes on. But I’m happy to
11
sacrifice knowing what’s trendy in order to prioritize my vision.
12
In addition to my bathroom mirror, I have my vision on the
13
notepad of my computer, where I keep all my to-dos. Every time I
14
open the notepad, there it is, reinforcing the actions I need to take
15
and making sure I don’t lose sight of my North Star. Crossing off
16
things on a to-do list means nothing if those things are not di-
17
rectly related in some way to your North Star. If they aren’t, you
18
need to think about why and if the things you are doing matter:
19 20
●●
Whenever there is a possibility of change, determine what
21
impact that will have on your vision. Will it take you closer
22
or further away from your vision? Perhaps there is some-
23
thing you should not be or don’t need to be doing and need
24
to hand over to someone else. Perhaps there is something
25
you think you should be doing, but it doesn’t matter as
26
much as you think. Perhaps the things you are doing pla-
27
cate the people yelling the loudest for attention. Perhaps
28
you are focusing too much on others before yourself.
29 30
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54 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
●●
Make a point to regularly review your actions specifi-
2
cally as they relate to your vision. We’ll get into this on a
3
deeper level in Trait 3, “Action.” For now, one way to pri-
4
oritize your vision is simply to give time to it. Ask your-
5
self, “What time am I committing to my vision each day
6
or at least weekly?”
7 8
If your vision is directly related to your day job, those two
9
things should be easy. Shut the door, walk to a quiet room, put
10
caution tape around your cubicle . . . whatever it takes to make
11
the time. For other types of visions, you’re going to need to carve
12
out time. This means you will need to spend less time somewhere
13
else and stop doing something that isn’t serving you. For me, I
14
stopped watching TV. Sure, I find time for the occasional show,
15
but I don’t watch TV as much as I used to.
16 17
What are you going to stop doing so you can give more time to your vision?
18
In the end, think of your vision as the story you want to write
19
for yourself and share with the world. Think of it like your favor-
20
ite story as a kid. Personally, I loved Where the Wild Things Are.
21
Did you know Maurice Sendak wrote the book based on his vi-
22
sion of his childhood experiences? He was often in bed and sent
23
there without any supper. The wild things he encounters in the
24
jungle his room becomes were based on his family, and they are
25
menacing until Max intimidates them all and becomes their king.
26
But Max soon realizes he feels lonely and misses his family. He
27
decides to return home to the people he loves instead of getting
28
more lost in the vision he created.
29 30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 54
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Don’ t Just Think It, Ink It
55
These are perfect words of warning to all people who lead
1
and get lost in vision when trying to execute: visions are nothing
2
but dreams without action.
3 4
VISION CHECK
5
Questions for Self-Reflection
6
What could get in the way, or pull you off track of achieving the vision
8
you wrote down?
9
7
10
How are you going to give and plan more time to your vision?
11
What are you going to stop doing so you have more time to it?
12
How will you know if you’re off track and out of alignment with
13
your vision?
14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
5
2 3 4 5
The Loneliest Trait
6 7 8 9
M
10 y parents met in Youngstown, Ohio, but they had no de-
11
sire to settle there. They had a vision of their future and
12
after college set off to find it. Since this was long before the Inter-
13
net and because pictures in guidebooks could only say so much,
14
they took three months to drive around the United States—down
15
to the South, through Texas, across the Mountain West and the
16
desert. Wherever they ended up, they’d camp and backpack, do-
17
ing pretty much whatever they wanted as long as it stayed under
18
their budget of $20 a day.
19
New Mexico seemed nice, but the heat was stifling. San Di-
20
ego had perfect weather, but my dad wasn’t crazy about its sub-
21
urban sprawl. They finally settled on Portland, Oregon, with its
22
mix of urban opportunity and outdoor life, the mountains and
23
the ocean just an hour away. Ironically, what also attracted my
24
parents to Portland was the notion that the city would keep them
25
away from entrepreneurialism. It didn’t.
26
Since my mom took time off to raise me, my twin sister, and
27
my older brother, my father became my first role model for what
28
an entrepreneur could be. Both of my parents are passionate,
29
driven, giving people, but my dad inspired me to go after the big-
30
57
1260128520_perell_final.indb 57
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58 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
gest vision I have in life and never let up until I achieve it. The
2
man was, and still is, tireless—relentless. He’s a real shoot-the-
3
moon type. While my mother was practical and pragmatic, Dad
4
had the boundless confidence and unwavering determination to
5
explore over-the-top ideas. What does the world need? What can
6
I contribute? How can I create that?
7
While Dad hired people to do various tasks, he often took
8
care of everything. When he was in property development, he
9
was out there building and figuring out ways to modernize the
10
work. It’s no wonder I loved going to work with him and spend-
11
ing my weekends at his construction sites. Most of my life, my
12
dad would be gone for a few days every week pursuing whatever
13
boundless vision he had for the future and where the opportuni-
14
ties were: a self-service auto repair garage, roofing tiles, real es-
15
tate, restaurants, bars, and beyond. As I write this book, he has
16
turned 70, and is developing a residential care business that he
17
believes will transform healthcare services for the elderly.
18
My dad will never retire. He can’t. Like many people who
19
lead with vision, Dad needs to keep exploring, building, and
20
pushing forward to bring his vision to life. People like my dad
21
love to create—and they keep finding new ideas to work on any
22
hour of the day. If I call my dad on my way home at 8 p.m. af-
23
ter more than 12 hours at work, he’ll never fail to ask why I am
24
“taking off so early.” Only part of him is joking because my dad
25
always believes he can be doing more in business.
26 27
When People Get Stuck in a Vision
28 29
But while my dad is my inspiration, he is also my first caution-
30
ary tale for what happens when people get stuck in vision—and
1260128520_perell_final.indb 58
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The Loneliest Trait
59
what happens when they get bored with the visions they have
1
and lose focus.
2
Dad’s forte is not maintaining what he builds or operation-
3
alizing it. As a result, people like my dad fail to execute at the
4
level they could or should. Their drive gets them into risky deals
5
and high-stakes investments, and they are blinded by what they
6
believe is possible. They can also commit to something so risky
7
it endangers not just the businesses but also their families, and
8
sometimes they lose it all.
9
That’s the ultimate pitfall for people stuck in vision: they
10
can’t let go no matter what the consequences are.
11
The best way to describe how my dad and I are different is
12
how we gamble when we go to Las Vegas. When I win, I take
13
some money off the table and hold on to it and let the rest ride. I
14
take chances, but I am very careful to calculate the bets I am will-
15
ing to make. My dad will never take money off the table. He will
16
go all in with all he has. He doesn’t care if he loses it all as long
17
as he has a chance to make it big. That’s his attitude: “Let’s just
18
go for it, make our luck, and seize the possibilities to change the
19
world.”
20 21 22
Five Tips for Not Getting Lost in Vision
23 24
There are many wonderful things about my father that I try
25
to emulate every day. But how can you be the best parts of my
26
dad and other visionaries and not get lost in the trappings of
27
your vision? How can you avoid letting your vision consume
28
you so much that it affects and even corrupts all other parts of
29
execution?
30
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60 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
1. Don’t get lost in thinking.
2
2. Understand timing is everything.
3
3. Know ideas are a dime a dozen.
4
4. Make sure your vision is a business.
5
5. Accept that feedback is a gift.
6 7
1. Don’t Get Lost in Thinking
8
The vision space can be exciting and energizing, but be careful
9
you don’t spend too much time thinking and not enough time do-
10
ing. My dad was always thinking about what comes next. As a
11
result, he would lose focus on one vision while he started to envi-
12
sion something else.
13
This overlap can be mistaken for progress. He’s a warning
14
for people who are stuck within the same vision while trying to
15
grow it. You agonize so much about what’s next that you don’t
16
act enough or take the right action to execute and operationalize
17
the vision you’re on. That’s drive without direction.
18 19
2. Understand Timing Is Everything
20
My dad’s first business—a self-serve auto shop—sounded great
21
(even cool), but in the end, there was no market for it. Many
22
people get stuck in vision because they forget to research if a
23
market is there and to establish checkpoints to know if what
24
they’re doing is working. In my dad’s auto shop case, it wasn’t
25
working. If no one is buying what you’re selling, even if you’re
26
doing everything right, then there just isn’t a market—yet or at
27
all. Yes, your vision could be ahead of its time, but that does not
28
mean you can will a market into existence and then execute.
29
The first company I worked for tried to sell cloud storage
30
more than a decade before the infrastructure and demand could
1260128520_perell_final.indb 60
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The Loneliest Trait
61
support its cost—and we burned through all our money trying to
1
execute that vision. Like so many too-early visions, we ran out of
2
money before our time.
3 4
3. Know Ideas Are a Dime a Dozen
5
This book is not about quitting your job because you have a great
6
idea. Everyone has a great idea. I always say ideas are a dime a
7
dozen. It’s all about executing your idea. So many people fail to
8
see that about their visions. To them, their visions are so crystal
9
clear and real, they think everyone knows what it will take to ex-
10
ecute them.
11
See why this is lofty? The visions are so alive in their heads—
12
so tangible to them—that they proclaim it will take no time to
13
execute them. As a result, they lack the patience to explain their
14
vision to anyone more than once, let alone with any depth. “The
15
steps are so obvious and easy! We just need to build a platform
16
for people to do X and then Y, and then Z will happen!” No, they
17
won’t. You need to understand and be crystal clear about the
18
value around what comes next.
19 20
4. Make Sure Your Vision Is a Business
21
People who lead with vision can get so caught up in their ideas
22
that they not only fail to see the work it will take to execute them
23
but they also fail to develop the commercial business sense to
24
take their ideas to the next level. They may learn how to pro-
25
duce what they’re selling, but have no idea how to make money
26
on it. Hint: If you are losing money on every sale, you are not go-
27
ing to make money simply by selling more—no matter how well
28
you execute. You might make millions, but you will burn through
29
much more.
30
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62 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
For aspiring entrepreneurs, I recommend not quitting your
2
day job immediately to chase your vision. It’s necessary to get
3
some experience working on your venture while having the
4
safety net of a job. Start preparing. Create some savings. Lower
5
your expenses, and work on getting your contingency plan in
6
place. Proactively and purposefully dedicate your off-work hours
7
to your new venture to determine the viability of your new busi-
8
ness. Get affirmation. You shouldn’t leave your day job until you
9
know you can meet your key monetary needs. (Note that this
10
can be a savings plan—perhaps you have six months of living ex-
11
penses you can use to fund your new venture.)
12
Think about all those people on the TV show Shark Tank
13
who think that they just need an investment from the sharks to
14
keep doing what they are doing with a losing operation—and
15
they want to keep control. Even if the sharks believe in what is
16
being pitched, they know the person in the tank is the wrong one
17
to invest in. They will never execute on the highest levels if they
18
refuse to listen and develop some business acumen.
19 20
5. Accept That Feedback Is a Gift
21
It’s important to ask for constructive feedback to identify the
22
blind spots and potential roadblocks that may get in your way—
23
especially from people who don’t think or act the way you do.
24
Because if everyone sees or acts the same way as you do with
25
your vision, you’ll just be stuck together in the same car. You’ll sit
26
around and talk forever forming the idea instead of figuring out
27
what is needed to get the idea to market.
28
There are many reasons new products, services, and technol-
29
ogies fail even when market research says they should allegedly
30
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The Loneliest Trait
63
succeed. They run out of money. They don’t work as promised
1
or at all. There is no ability to scale them. The company invests
2
in the wrong sales and marketing—or not enough. The message
3
does not resonate with consumers, or it fails to connect with dif-
4
ferent consumers. But for me, failure usually comes down to one
5
factor: the inability to listen to and accept feedback. In short, if
6
you don’t listen to the market and other people, you won’t mas-
7
ter execution at the highest levels—period.
8
Vision can be a lonely, solitary space. You need people to
9
challenge you, help you see what you can’t see, bounce ideas off
10
of, do what you can’t, and be there when you can’t—or don’t
11
want to—talk to anyone. People who lead with vision often have
12
the capacity to bring others along with them. Just think about
13
the biggest names in technology from the last generation: Gates,
14
Jobs, Zuckerberg. They all loved to create, but to sell and grow
15
their visions, they needed partners. They still did things their own
16
way, but they were never alone.
17
Neither am I. My visions are driven by relationships. My
18
leadership style is about collaboration and empowerment. Ev-
19
eryone around me has something to contribute to my visions. I
20
want them to share my passion for them as much as I do—which
21
is why mastering passion is the next step for mastering execution.
22 23
VISION CHECK
24
Questions for Self-Reflection
25 26 27
Have you ever had a vision that failed to come to fruition? If so, why did it happen? Did you get lost in thinking? Miss or
28
miscalculate the market? Think it was easier than it was to execute?
29 30
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64 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Lack commercial sense? Fail to connect with others? Or was it some-
2
thing else?
3 4 5 6
How would what you have learned about vision in this chapter have helped you? What would you have done differently? How will you use what you learned in this chapter? What will you do differently?
7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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Vision—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
65
1 2
Vision—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
3 4 5
V I S I O N: RE FLE C T I O NS A N D M OV I N G F O R WA R D ●●
6
Visions are North Stars—the things everything else in execu-
7
tion and in life revolve around. They are where you are going. ●●
8
Your vision will determine not only what you do in your life
9
but also what you do with your life. You cannot allow your life
10
to pass by default. ●●
11
Having a crystal-clear vision you can see and feel propels
12
your actions. ●●
13
By taking charge of your North Star, being very clear about
14
what you want, taking the necessary steps to execute it,
15
and staying on track, you are setting yourself up for a life of
16
greater success and fulfillment. ●●
17
You must always make sure that your vision is what you want.
18
You must feel it, and it must be meaningful to you and con-
19
gruent with who you are—not just what others think you
20
should want. ●●
21
Bring your vision to life by visualizing what it would look like
22
when you execute it at the highest level. Even if your vision is
23
small, think big! (Just be careful that it’s based somewhere in
24
reality, not in wishful thinking.) ●●
25
Don’t just think it. Ink it! Writing your vision and checkpoints
26
or goals down makes you far more likely to succeed. Then,
27
make sure you prioritize and reprioritize your actions to serve
28
your vision.
29 30
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66 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25
●●
Remember: Vision can be a solitary and lonely space. Don’t get lost in thinking.
●●
Make sure there is a market for what you envision, that your vision is not distracting you from the work needed to execute it, that you develop some commercial sense, and that you listen and connect with others who can give you feedback.
BE FO RE YO U G O: WHAT ’S T H E S C EN A R I O? This scenario is designed to help you think about everything you have learned in this section of the book. Please take a few minutes to complete this exercise the best you can. I promise it will be worth it. If you get stuck or you are not sure about your answer, go back and review the section. Remember, there is no right or wrong answer here. This is just a way to apply your new knowledge about vision. Often it is easier to give advice to someone else, when you’re not wrapped up in your own world, full of all its complexities. Picture this: Your colleague Brian confides in you that he wants to leave his job and go out on his own. You’re worried for Brian because he has a family, no business plan, and little savings. At this point, all he has is an idea. How would you use the concepts you’ve learned about vision to help him?
26 27 28 29 30
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1 2
T R A I T
3
2
4 5
PASSION
6
What You’re Willing to Sacrifice and Suffer For
9
7 8 10
One person with passion is better
11
than forty people merely interested.
12
—E. M. FORSTER
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
6
2 3 4 5
What We Do for Love
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
W
13 hen I was 11, I fell in love with horseback riding. This was
14
no childhood crush. I loved it. I had always loved horses
15
and dreamed of riding. Before I was allowed to ride, my par-
16
ents had given me a wood stump in the backyard to “act” as my
17
horse. I cared for and fed that horse stump daily and “rode” it
18
until they finally caved in and let me try riding. It was even better
19
than I had imagined.
20
Every night after my first real rides, I would lie in my bed and
21
close my eyes and envision myself in full equestrian gear astride a
22
beautiful mare, the exhilarating soundlessness as we jumped, the
23
excitement and power of the landing, the thrill of the cheers as
24
we completed the course. But horseback riding lessons were ex-
25
pensive, and I had two siblings competing for their own activity
26
funds. My parents said we could only afford two lessons a month
27
at most, or it wouldn’t be fair to my brother and sister.
28
Why does everything need to be fair? Why can’t I be the kid that
29
just gets to ride the horse? Can’t they see how much I love this?
30
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70 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Two lessons a month isn’t going to cut it. If I wanted the skills to
2
win competitions, I needed more lessons.
3
I thought about begging, but I knew that wasn’t going to work
4
with two entrepreneur parents who expected us to earn every-
5
thing we wanted. I asked my mom for help in coming up with a
6
plan. She suggested talking to the owner to see if there was any-
7
thing I could do to get more lessons.
8
I did and there was: I could clean the stables.
9
The deal was each day before I rode and any other time I
10
could, I would clean out the horses’ stalls. Seven hours of clean-
11
ing equaled one hour of lessons. I thought that was fair. Besides,
12
what did I know about negotiation? Not that I would have been
13
much of negotiator: I would have made the deal for double the
14
hours because in my heart, this was what I wanted and needed to
15
achieve my vision. I hated the work, but the lesson was clear, and
16
I never forgot it:
17 18
If you have passion for something,
19
you go out and make it happen—even if it
20
involves a lot of horse manure.
21 22 23
I’ve been told that I make what I do look easy, but people
24
don’t see the thousands of nights and weekends I spend working.
25
I don’t talk about the conference calls I show up for when I am
26
sick or the sleepless nights. I don’t complain when I have to miss
27
birthday parties or dinner dates or I have to change all my plans
28
to fly halfway across the world. And my employees never knew
29
I was worried about making payroll more than a dozen times. It
30
was my passion that pushed me through these times.
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What We Do for Love
71
Leading with Your Heart
1 2
Passion is about loving something so much you’re willing to suf-
3
fer for it. Passion doesn’t make sleepless nights, stressful times,
4
and hard work magically disappear, but it does make them bear-
5
able. It’s what makes you go all in and keeps you there—no ex-
6
cuses. It’s a fuel that pushes you to continue long after others
7
have given up.
8 9
Those who lead with passion lead with their hearts. This passion is irresistible to others. I’m sure you can think of a time
10
when you were persuaded by another person’s enthusiasm to do
11
or believe in something. This energy and enthusiasm is infectious,
12
magnetic, and powerful. It drives engagement, innovation, resil-
13
ience, and performance in others and yourself—and encourages
14
those around you to pursue and act with passion as well.
15
This is why passion is the second trait you need to master for
16
great execution. Action without passion is boring. It’s mundane,
17
everyday. It’s changing a light bulb or doing laundry or wash-
18
ing dishes—necessary tasks we perform every day without even
19
thinking or because we have to (even if we don’t want to). These
20
actions are largely humdrum and dispassionate, and they don’t
21
involve suffering or sacrifice.
22 23
That’s the exact opposite of what you need to execute your
24
vision.
25 26
What Passion Really Is
27 28
Remember: The word passion comes from the Latin root for suf-
29
fering or enduring—a meaning somewhat disconnected from its
30
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72 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
modern application. To me, passion is closer to the word’s origi-
2
nal meaning: a form of pain that demands it be remedied. That’s
3
why I say passion is not just about doing the things you love or
4
enjoy but also about doing the things that you would happily suf-
5
fer for. You can’t be 100 percent passionate 100 percent of the
6
time. Some days my passion is more powerful than others. We’re
7
human, right? I strive to be at least 80 percent passionate 100
8
percent of the time. It may seem strange to put a number on it,
9
but doing so sets a baseline for how I want to live my life.
10
“Just do the things you love” sounds like nice advice, but just
11
doing the things you love is called a vacation. If you are suffering
12
on vacation, you are doing something wrong, going to the wrong
13
place, or bringing the wrong people. I may love sitting on the
14
beach and drinking margaritas, but that doesn’t mean I should be
15
looking to turn it into a full-time career. I also love popcorn, fast
16
cars, elephants, chardonnay, and 1980s music. Take those to a ca-
17
reer counselor and see what you get!
18
Truth is, “love” is only one side of the passion coin. This book
19
isn’t another call to “follow your passions.” This is a call to master
20
your passion, and that mastery will require not only love but pain
21
and sacrifice.
22
There’s a big difference between those activities that you en-
23
joy doing and those you would keep doing even when they be-
24
came “painful,” depleted your energy, and took up all your time.
25
Just because you can sew doesn’t mean you can succeed as a de-
26
signer. Sure, you might love fashion and watch every episode of
27
Project Runway. You might dream of designing clothes and even
28
be inspired to knit or sew. But being a designer involves a whole
29
set of skills and actions that go beyond an interest in clothes and
30
producing a few garments. Being successful at it—like anything
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What We Do for Love
73
else—requires you to sacrifice and suffer for things that have
1
nothing to do with fabric.
2
Loving what you do is one thing, but executing your vision to
3
build a business and/or make a profit from it is another. You need
4
to create a strategy and then refine it as you go. Suffer through
5
the finances. Identify opportunities and market needs to find cus-
6
tomers for what you are making (and deal with those customers).
7
Market and advertise to help generate demand. Establish a social
8
media presence. Deal with the setbacks and naysayers. And ac-
9
cept the inevitable rejection and criticism.
10
When I moved to Hawaii to build my business, more people
11
told me I was crazy than wished me luck. “There are no jobs there,
12
Kim! The digital market is weak! Stay in LA and find something
13
stable!” I went anyway. While other people were off on vacation
14
or going to parties, I was making one more product adjustment
15
and perfecting the hundredth—yes, hundredth—version of my
16
sales pitch.
17
When I went to Tahiti on my honeymoon in 2003, I wan-
18
dered around Bora Bora looking for anywhere that had a com-
19
puter with basic dial-up. I walked from my beautiful bungalow
20
to a stuffy closet in the hotel office where I waited restlessly for
21
an AOL connection to go through. I remember being on a sa-
22
fari in Africa watching a herd of elephants cross Kruger National
23
Park . . . while I was on my phone to the office because that was
24
the only place I had cell service.
25
“They want what to make the deal work? . . . Ooh, look at
26
the elephants—they’re amazing! . . . OK, tell them we need . . .”
27
Did I want to do any of that? Of course not! But my vision
28
was my North Star, and my passion fueled my drive to achieve
29
it—my passion to build the life that I wanted. I knew in my gut
30
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74 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
that everything I was doing felt right and that the pain I was en-
2
during was part of what I needed to do to succeed. Passion justi-
3
fied any extreme work ethics that inevitably prioritized business
4
over all other aspects of my life—often with really lousy timing,
5
because I love spending time with people, on the beach, traveling
6
the world, and exploring new cultures. Without that passion, I
7
wouldn’t have the stamina.
8
Many people just don’t understand this. They don’t see the
9
sacrifice and suffering it takes to be successful. But that’s what
10
gives your success meaning! Thus, the starting point for finding
11
your passion is not just in the things you love but in the things
12
you would gladly suffer for.
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
Passion Pulse Check Before you go any further, take a step back and ask yourself one question: “Am I willing to suffer for this [idea, product, business, person, company]?” If you answered no, take a step back before reading any further.
21 22 23 24
Figuring out what you’re willing to suffer for
25
is hard. What will you give to get?
26 27 28
Passion isn’t just fuel. It’s the emotional fuel you need to ex-
29
ecute at the highest level to achieve your vision and goals. For-
30
get anything you have been told about suppressing emotions and
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What We Do for Love
75
being unemotional in your work. It’s not realistic. It’s a lie that
1
eventually traps you. Why would you want to be unemotional
2
about what you spend most of every day doing? You need to feel
3
what you are doing and then learn how to make others feel it too.
4
Execution is all about mastering your passion and creat-
5
ing that emotional connection to your goals and vision. It fuels
6
learning, memory, and focus. It provides everything you need to
7
persevere, endure, act, connect with and attract others to your
8
vision. Without this emotional connection, you’re just a mo-
9
ment away from being bored and distracted and, ultimately, from
10
failing.
11
What does it mean to be emotionally connected to some-
12
thing? What do you feel? How do you act? That’s the next step in
13
understanding passion and how it helps drive execution.
14 15 16
PASSION CHECK
17
Questions for Self-Reflection
18 19
Driving forward with passion is a huge part of your success in execu-
20
tion. Answer these questions before you move to the next chapter to
21
better understand the depth of your passion:
22 23
• Does your vision reflect what you are most passionate about?
24
If you answered no, answer the following questions before answering
25
the final question below:
26
• What are you truly passionate about? A subject (fashion, food,
27
animals)? A skill (creating, writing)? A role (leader, teacher,
28
caretaker)? Something else?
29 30
• Which of these do you feel most emotionally connected to?
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76 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
• Which of these are you most willing to “suffer” for? What would
2
you want to keep doing even if you had to give something up or
3
didn’t get paid or acknowledged?
4 5 6 7
If you answered yes to the first question or if you have now identified what you’re passionate about, answer this question: How will you remind yourself of that passion during the long hours?
8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 76
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1
7
2 3 4 5
Emotional Rescue
6 7 8 9 10
W
11 hen I got fired from my first dot-com, I was devastated.
12
I loved the company, loved the people, and loved what I
13
was doing. I was upset not just because of the fear of having no
14
income but because I had lost a job I felt emotionally connected
15
to. I was embarrassed.
16
I remember calling my dad, and his response was, “I told
17
you this was going to happen. They were spending beyond their
18
means and income. It was inevitable, Kimmy.”
19
Even though this was the truth, my dad’s words were not
20
what I needed to hear. I already felt terrible, and was calling him
21
to console me. He was cold and callous.
22
How many times have you been that person? The person
23
who asks for sympathy and gets none? I’d like to think I’ve never
24
missed the opportunity to try to make people feel better, but I
25
know I have. Instead, I’ve given in to my knee-jerk reaction and
26
said, “I told you so!” But that’s the last thing anyone would want
27
in my dot-com situation. We’d want kindness. Without that kind-
28
ness, the other person risks twisting the knife. The only reason I
29
was so upset is because I cared about what I was doing—I had an
30
77
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78 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
emotional connection to it. Yet so often, like my dad, the other
2
person we need to be kind fails to understand this.
3
“What do you want me to say?” the other person pleads.
4
Nothing. We want you to say nothing. At that moment, we
5
just want a hug from Dad, a partner, a friend. We want to know
6
everything is OK. We want to know you care:
7 8
●●
9
comes to dealing with the inevitable mistakes, failures,
10 11
How many times have we been “that person” when it and problems when executing our visions?
●●
How many times have we been “that person” and told
12
someone or told ourselves the best thing to do in that mo-
13
ment is say, “Get yourself together now, and look at what
14
you’ve done wrong.”
15
●●
How many times have we been “that person” and told
16
ourselves or had someone tell us, “Calm down! Don’t
17
get so upset! Stop being so emotional. Here’s why you
18
screwed up.”
19 20
Yes, it’s smart to calm down before you explain a mistake to
21
your boss or team. Your explanation will be more sincerely re-
22
ceived when you’ve taken the time to relax and be thoughtful and
23
reflective on what went wrong. What’s important to remember is
24
not to suppress what feels true to you. Don’t deny your emotions
25
a chance to teach you a lesson. Don’t run away from feelings or
26
rationalize emotions away. Doing those things is to deny the pas-
27
sion that will fuel the next attempt and the next. Let those emo-
28
tions out— give them your ear and a figurative or, if appropriate,
29
a literal hug!
30
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Emotional Rescue
79
Why Emotions Are Critical to Passion
1 2
Emotions are what drive our passion, and those feelings are criti-
3
cal to leading a full life. This is why action without passion leaves
4
us empty—we may get stuff done, but the results will only sat-
5
isfy us temporarily. Emotions force us to feel actions we stand
6
behind.
7
Your passion for something is what inspires, engages, and
8
connects you to the people around you. There are two sides to
9
this coin, however. On the one side, people who are not engaged
10
by your passion may not be the right people to surround yourself
11
with because you don’t share the same vision in order to execute
12
together. On the other, if you are not demonstrating that passion,
13
then they have no reason to feel a connection to you and your vi-
14
sion and execute for you.
15
Beware of dismissing all this as “soft stuff.” This is about be-
16
ing authentic and true to your vision. Your passion must have
17
meaning, or the consequences can be dire. Consider this: We can
18
easily ignore or not even see objects that have no meaning for
19
us. In one study, commercial pilots landed their planes on top of
20
another in a flight simulation because they didn’t see the other
21
plane—a scenario they would be highly unlikely to encounter in
22
real life. This is called “inattentional blindness.”
1
23
When it comes to execution, it’s not just about visualizing
24
your vision but feeling a deep connection to the visions we are
25
executing. Emotions move us. They impact our behavior and
26
thoughts. If we are angry, we fight and yell. If we are sad, we cry.
27
If we are happy, we laugh and dance. The joy I had when I was
28
11 years old being around horses made me indifferent to the fact
29 30
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80 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
that I was cleaning stables. Similarly, the passion I have for what
2
I’m doing and the people I am working with today move me to be
3
willing to work late and travel often. I never forget that my head
4
(reason and logic) and heart (emotion and passion) must coexist.
5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Passion Pulse Check Think about one thing in your past you have been passionate about or emotionally connected to. How successful were you at this endeavor? Why do you think that was? Now, think about something in your past you have done from a place of logic or reason rather than an emotional connection. How successful were you at this endeavor? Why do you think that was?
16 17 18
Emotions may be unpredictable and uncontrollable, but un-
19
derstanding and mastering those emotions so they drive you but
20
don’t push you over the edge is key to mastering passion and suc-
21
cessful execution. I know we all like to think we’re rational and
22
logical, but the fact is that emotions drive us, and sometimes they
23
veer in different directions. Ideally, we use logic to devise our strat-
24
egies, but we need emotion to fuel our passion to carry them out.
25
Yes, this runs contrary to what many books say, that it is bet-
26
ter to elevate reason and logic and discount feelings. Reason is
27
powerful, but emotions are what matter most. If you’re going
28
to suffer for what you love, you need to feel it—the highs and
29
lows—not repress it.
30
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Emotional Rescue
81
Why Passion Is Critical to Success
1 2
When my mother-in-law was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheim-
3
er’s at 65, I was determined to find a way to help her. I knew I
4
couldn’t cure the disease, but I was committed to finding a way
5
she could live her best and most comfortable life. I researched
6
day and night. Eastern medicine, Western medicine, brain games,
7
studies, diets. I even tried a noninvasive medical device that stim-
8
ulates the brain, but when I tried it on myself first, it overstimu-
9
lated my brain and I shut down for two days. I couldn’t leave my
10
bed, focus, or concentrate.
11
My fierce love for my mother-in-law awakened a passion in
12
me to learn more about brain health to try to help her in any
13
way I could. I asked a doctor friend whose husband had a brain
14
tumor what they would recommend. She said the two of them,
15
both Stanford MDs, had been taking a variety of supplements to
16
help increase their mental clarity and memory, and I asked if they
17
could make me a sample. They agreed. Grateful and more deter-
18
mined than ever, I enlisted a partner I knew could help. After a
19
year of tireless work and research with the doctors, we created
20
supplements to increase brain activity. My emotional connec-
21
tion and desire to help my mother-in-law was critical in their
22
creation.
23
While most visions will not be driven by serious disease, they
24
are driven by some kind of call to action, and they benefit from
25
a continued high level of emotional connection to your vision,
26
goals, and actions. That connection drives almost everything:
27
positivity, self-belief, learning, focus, memory, satisfaction, and
28
above all, motivation. This has several important implications
29 30
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highlighting the benefits of passion that are dismissed when it
2
comes to business, leadership, and execution:
3 4
●●
Passion drives self-belief.
5
●●
Passion stimulates motivation.
6
●●
Passion influences learning.
7
●●
Passion maintains levels of energy and enthusiasm.
8
●●
Passion inspires others.
9 10
Passion Drives Self-Belief
11
To be successful, your confidence must be greater than everyone
12
else’s doubt. People who have passion are emotionally connected
13
and thus really believe that they will be successful. This belief
14
permeates their entire being and inspires confidence in them-
15
selves and others.
16
Imagine a coach talking to the team just before they leave the
17
locker room. At that moment, will the coach go over all the tacti-
18
cal details, or will he or she passionately deliver a rousing speech
19
designed to fire up the team and their self-belief? No one executes
20
on a vision saying, “I think I can lose” or “Everyone thinks I can’t
21
do it, so I shouldn’t even try.”
22 23
Passion Stimulates Motivation
24
It’s a biological fact that more emotion—more passion—equals
25
more motivation. Our fight-or-flight reflex is the perfect example
26
of this. But it happens in less dangerous or high-stakes situations
27
every day too. Our brains are wired in such a way that higher lev-
28
els of emotion literally stimulate the motivational areas of the
29
brain. If we’re really excited about something—a trip, a pitch,
30
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an idea—we’re likely to have many more positive thoughts and
1
want to act. Similarly, if we feel that high level of passion from
2
someone else, we are motivated to follow.
3
The best example of this is seeing people in front of you taste
4
something delicious. You can see in their eyes how much they
5
love it. It’s a visceral reaction, and that emotional response and
6
our instinctive empathic connection to it makes us want to act to
7
have the same dish or steal some of theirs!
8 9
Passion Influences Learning
10
Think of your favorite teachers in school. I bet they were the ones
11
who were the most passionate about the subjects they taught.
12
The teacher who made biology fun. The English professor who
13
brought a story to life. The math teacher who took the extra time
14
to apply problems to real life in a way you understood.
15
That was certainly true for me. Growing up, I loved my mar-
16
keting and math classes and the teachers who taught them. Look-
17
ing back, if I had teachers with the same enthusiasm in science and
18
English, I wonder if I would have excelled equally and perhaps
19
taken a different career path.
20 21
Passion Maintains Levels of Energy and Enthusiasm
22
Most people typically underestimate what is required for tasks
23
and the time it will take to complete them. That work can also
24
be quite repetitive—even boring. Without emotion and passion
25
to carry you through the setbacks, you will feel blocked from
26
your path.
27
That’s when passion keeps you going—not just when you face
28
obstacles (as we will see when we get to resilience) or sleepless
29 30
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84 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
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nights. It’s when you are faced with the most ordinary tasks and
2
need to remember why you are there, or when you are in another
3
uninspiring meeting and need to lift the room around you.
4
Which brings me to my final point.
5 6
Passion Inspires Others
7
Passion is contagious. We are programmed to sense and even
8
copy levels of energy, so your passion can inspire and influence
9
others as well as discourage detractors. It will influence how they
10
see you as well as how they see themselves. Because your passion
11
isn’t only about you. It isn’t, “I’m excited!” It’s, “I’m excited, and
12
here is my vision and how you can play a part in it!”
13
You need to be vulnerable enough to open yourself up to oth-
14
ers so they can fully appreciate your passion and vision. That will
15
be key when we get to the relationships. Because when you are
16
truly passionate about something, it reveals an authenticity about
17
how you show up in the world. As I said in the opening of this
18
book, authenticity is key to executing on your vision—especially
19
when it comes to passion.
20 21
You can fake knowledge. You can fake skills. But can you fake passion? No. How can you fake something that
22 23
●●
Drives your belief in a successful outcome.
24
●●
Accelerates memory and learning.
25
●●
Stimulates motivation.
26
●●
Maintains levels of energy and enthusiasm.
27
●●
Energizes and inspires others.
28
I used to think I needed to change my “frequency” to be like
29
others. I’d dial myself and my frequency down to theirs. The re-
30
sult? I’d end up spending time with people who had nothing
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in common with me or the vision of the life I wanted to live. I
1
quickly felt like I didn’t belong, draining me of my energy and
2
passion. Pretending to be someone I wasn’t was exhausting. It
3
was a character I never wanted to play. Over the years, I learned
4
to embrace my truth and everything I’ve been called: rebellious,
5
a bad influence, a nonconformist. If someone told me I couldn’t
6
do something, I would do it anyway. I place more importance on
7
what I expect of myself than on what others expect of me. I’m
8
more values driven than rules driven. My life will never be tradi-
9
tional, and I’m okay with that.
10
People trying to sell you “fake” passion will always expose
11
themselves eventually. The façade will crumble, and you will
12
know their hearts aren’t in it. It’s like that law in physics: every
13
action has an equal and opposite reaction. Once you don’t be-
14
lieve that they will suffer and sacrifice for their visions, you won’t
15
believe that they will suffer and sacrifice for you.
16
Think about a colleague, leader, or mentor who you felt was
17
driven by passion. What impact did that have on you? Do you have
18
that same impact on others? That emotional engagement is key!
19 20 21
Be fearless to act so people believe
22
your passion is leading to something,
23
and you execute together.
24 25
Don’t be in neutral when it comes to passion, or you’ll just
26
be mismanaging your expectations. I’m passionate about people
27
and helping others, letting people pursue their passions for new
28
directions and opportunities, and people helping me see what I
29
don’t know.
30
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Passion Pulse Check Ask yourself right now: “On a scale from 1 to 10, how deeply do I feel an emotional connection to what I am doing?” If it is anything lower than an 8, how and why do you expect to execute at the highest level? How do you expect those around you to feel it and do the same?
9 10 11
A Word of Warning: Not All Passion Looks the Same
12 13 14 15
Executing with passion or even being emotional about something
16
doesn’t mean you have to jump up and down with excitement and
17
energy. Just because people aren’t yelling doesn’t mean they aren’t
18
angry. Just because people aren’t crying doesn’t mean they aren’t sad.
19
You don’t need extremes to feel a connection to what you are do-
20
ing, which means you don’t have to be extroverted and outgoing
21
to execute and lead with passion. In fact, some of the most suc-
22
cessful people were or are notoriously introverted like Bill Gates,
23
Steven Spielberg, and Eleanor Roosevelt.
24
People manifest their emotions differently. The key is that
25
you feel emotionally and congruently connected—which will
26
come across in everything you do. Passion is about how you feel
27
and what others feel from you, and you don’t need to bounce off
28
the walls to do that.
29
That said, just because people are bouncing off the walls
30
doesn’t mean they are not in control of their passions. Exhibiting
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emotionality does not make someone irrational. If it did, I would
1
have been institutionalized rather than appointed as the CEO ev-
2
ery time I sold my company. I tend to be a high-energy person
3
most of the time, but I don’t need to temper my passion to be
4
thoughtful or open to logical considerations and viable alterna-
5
tives. That I tend to get very excited about things I am passionate
6
about, which I express through my words as well as my body lan-
7
guage, does not mean I am out of control.
8
I realize, however, that there is always a risk that people will
9
interpret my bubbly exterior as a lack of depth and intelligence.
10
The expression of passion is relative. If I am enthusiastic about
11
everything, it can undermine my authenticity with people I want
12
to help execute my vision. People always have an emotional re-
13
sponse to how you act, and you must be aware of how you’re
14
being perceived. That self-awareness is a strength.
15
As I said before, I have my own “frequency,” but I must ap-
16
preciate others’ frequencies and accept their perception of mine.
17
Over time I have learned to keep my frequency, maybe modulat-
18
ing it when necessary out of decorum but never changing it com-
19
pletely. I won’t water down my passion around people who don’t
20
act the same way I do or who I think cannot appreciate or under-
21
stand it. I need them to see the real me and know that what they
22
see is what they get.
23
Besides, they may be looking for that very difference in some-
24
one to work with—something that complements their passion,
25
not mimics it. I know I am. I don’t want someone in my life—at
26
work or at home—who is like me. I want people who do what
27
I can’t and make me appreciate things I normally wouldn’t see
28
or do myself. I understand who I am. I have succeeded by stay-
29
ing true to my North Star and my passion for it, not aiming at
30
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1
what others wanted that North Star to be. Why would I then ex-
2
pect someone else to change for me? I’d rather stand by myself
3
and appreciate differences in others by encouraging them to do
4
the same so that we can execute and succeed together as a team.
5
To understand this further, try this exercise:
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
●●
For one day, within all your interactions, look for passion in others. What do you notice? When are you aware of the passion others have? How does it make you feel? What do you notice about their passion? How could you better appreciate that passion and allow it to thrive alongside yours?
13
I love being around people who believe in me, who feel a
14
connection and are excited and energetic. The energy is conta-
15
gious. That’s what passion feeds on: energy.
16 17
PASSION CHECK
18
Questions for Self-Reflection
19 20
Have you ever been told, “Don’t let your emotions get the better of
21
you?” Have you regretted ignoring a passion because you rationalized
22
it away as frivolous?
23 24
How do you show when you are emotionally connected to something? How does it change your behavior?
25
How have people responded to you when you are passionate?
26
How do you respond to passion? Do you have a bias toward
27
people who act emotionally?
28
These are essential questions to reflect on to understand how
29
emotion fuels passion and thus successful execution because you are
30
willing to do whatever it takes.
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1
8
2 3 4 5
Fueling Your Fire
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
T
Driven by Passion, CEO Sells $235 Million Company
13
from Middle of the Ocean.
14 15
hat would be the headline if I were writing my own story
16
about the sale of my company in 2014. Sounds like a good
17
story, right? It was. But like all good stories, it involved more
18
time than I anticipated and a lot of sacrifice, especially for my
19
husband.
20
The year before the sale. My husband and I were traveling
21
to Bali for our 10-year anniversary when I made an unscheduled
22
stopover in Singapore to meet the head of a potential acquiring
23
company for a drink. Did my husband want to stop in Singapore
24
for our 10-year anniversary? Probably not. But he saw the look
25
on my face. He felt my passion as I explained why. He knew this
26
had to be something big—not just in my mind but in my heart.
27
Those drinks turned to dinner with our spouses followed
28
by brunch the next morning with their kids. We really hit it off,
29
and I knew we would be a great fit. They were entrepreneurial
30
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90 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
and innovative, and based on our short time together, I just knew
2
they would be the perfect home for my company.
3
Once I got back from Singapore, I wrote down my vision to
4
sell my company on a note I stuck to my bathroom mirror. I
5
wanted that vision staring at me every morning and night, re-
6
inforcing my passion and strengthening my resolve to weather
7
what I needed to do to close the deal.
8
Six months later, we still hadn’t closed the deal. My husband
9
and I were now on a scheduled sailing trip, and I found myself
10
trying to get a call to go through on a satellite phone to keep the
11
deal moving.
12 13
Much to my husband’s disappointment, the satellite phone worked. I could hear him calling me in the background.
14
“Are you still talking business?”
15
Yes, yes, I was. It could have been seasickness or deal fatigue,
16
but I was getting dispirited. My vision posted on my bathroom
17
mirror was 3,000 miles away. I had even started to doubt myself,
18
but my passion pushed the doubt aside.
19
That’s what passion does. It pushes you through those mo-
20
ments when you need to make unpopular decisions or hard
21
choices. While it’s not always easy, there are benefits of being ob-
22
sessively passionate about your business. The hard part is, what
23
happens after years and years of being passionate and making
24
those sacrifices, when even the new seems a little old and you’re
25
tired of missing another family dinner?
26
Clearly, passion is essential for success, so it is critical that
27
you nurture it and stay connected to fuel your fire. I have talked
28
about how articulating your vision and keeping it in mind are es-
29
sential, just as I did with that note on my mirror to sell my com-
30
pany. The same is true for your passion.
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91
There are two important ways to do this:
1
●●
Fostering your passion
2
●●
Prioritizing your passion
3 4 5
Fostering Your Passion
6 7
In interviews, people often ask me, “What is your hobby?” They
8
might be looking for me to say tennis, art, or hiking. I tell them
9
the truth: my hobby is my passion for helping others achieve
10
their dreams, and I foster it by helping people execute to be suc-
11
cessful. It’s why I built my company and hired back many of the
12
people I had to lay off in my first job when the tech bubble burst.
13
It’s why I became an active angel investor and always take calls
14
from entrepreneurs looking for advice.
15
When I tell people my hobby, they always say something like,
16
“Jeez, you never take a break from work.” While it’s hard to do in
17
some ways, none of it feels like work for me. This is my passion—
18
and it’s the very thing that fuels me and energizes me. Fostering
19
my passion by spending time helping people gives me energy to
20
operate in every other facet of my life with passion, and creates a
21
healthy work-life integration. Not work-life separation.
22 23
What are you doing regularly that
24
fuels your passion?
25 26
Are you doing things on a day-to-day basis that fuel your
27
passions? Maybe you’re like me and work is your passion—or at
28
least one of them. What could you do to foster your passion in
29
order to execute?
30
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1
●●
2 3
writing a blog. ●●
4 5
Maybe you’re passionate about fashion and could start Maybe you’re passionate about kids and education and could volunteer at a school in your area.
●●
Maybe your passion is yoga, and instead of just doing
6
yoga, you could find a class and get certified so you could
7
teach it.
8
●●
Maybe you’re passionate, the way I am, about business
9
and people, and you could join a local or national en-
10
trepreneurs’ organization or start one with a group of
11
friends.
12 13
●●
Maybe you’re looking to advance in your company and could ask your boss about taking a leadership course.
14 15 16
Passion Pulse Check
17
Choose a passion that you have, and bring this passion to
18
life for a day. How does that make you feel? What impact
19
does this have on your energy and motivation?
20 21 22
The point is to do something, whatever it is, for you. Don’t
23
worry about whether someone will say no, especially at work.
24
Most leaders understand that employees want to be engaged and
25
passionate and make a difference. Because passionate employees
26
make the best employees. Leaders will be glad you took the ini-
27
tiative—you can’t expect others to foster your passion for you.
28
Remember: Even if you are a business of one, you are your
29
own employee whom you need to take care of. Make yourself and
30
your passion a priority.
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Prioritizing Your Passion
1 2
Phil Molyneux is an Englishman with a French name who moved
3
to the United States in 2010 to work for a Japanese company.
4
That’s when Sony asked him to lead its electronics business in
5
the United States. After three years in Budapest running the com-
6
pany’s business in Central and Southeast Europe, he wanted to
7
make an immediate and genuine impact on the people he was
8
about to lead who knew nothing about him.
9 10
He decided the best way to do that was to meet with them all
11
before he started . . . individually. All 1,200 of them. Before his official start date in the United States, over three
12
full days, Phil stopped at every occupied desk bottom floor to
13
top at the Sony headquarters in San Diego and chatted for a min-
14
ute or so. He did this because he authentically wanted people to
15
know who he was and what he stood for, that he cared about
16
who they were and what they stood for, and that he truly valued
17
open, honest communication.
18
That’s what Phil had a passion for—authenticity, connection,
19
and communication—and he made it his priority in meeting with
20
1,200 people in three days.
21
I talked about prioritizing and reprioritizing your vision to
22
the top of the list. The same is true for your passion. A hundred
23
things are going to come at you each day. But you need to keep
24
pushing your passion and vision back to the top of the list. You
25
need to prioritize both time and energy to foster your passion.
26
This has as much to do with saying yes to your passion as saying
27
no to the things you’re not passionate about. But it also means
28
saying no to things you want to do so you can prioritize your pas-
29
sion. There are trade-offs no matter what.
30
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1
Saying no is never easy, which is why prioritizing passion
2
and quality time for your vision are so difficult to deliver on.
3
There will never be enough time to do everything you want and
4
need to do. Prepare yourself to disappoint people as you decline
5
invitations to attend birthday parties, potlucks, or dinners with
6
friends. This goes for all parts of your life! For me, when I am
7
done with work, my family is my priority. That means skipping
8
out on happy hours with my girlfriends to finish what I need
9
to do in the office so that I am fully present at the dinner table
10
that night with my husband and kids. I will opt for a lunch with
11
a close friend instead of a dinner that goes late, no matter how
12
much fun those can be.
13
But none of this works if I’m not transparent with the people
14
whom this affects. If I need to be somewhere far away to achieve
15
my broader vision of a great life and miss a few family dinners
16
or disrupt a vacation that is crucial to my vision, I will carve out
17
time. My husband knows when those things are a priority. I write
18
down my top priorities each week to keep them fresh in my mind,
19
and put them in a place where we both can see them. Transpar-
20
ency! That’s why my husband understood when the sale of my
21
company disrupted our vacation. He knew what my priorities
22
were because I had shared them with him, and he in turn sup-
23
ported me throughout the process.
24
Do the people around you know when you are prioritizing
25
your passion? They are the ones who will help you mitigate feel-
26
ings of guilt and doubt when you’ve missed the third New Year’s
27
Eve party in a row—and it will ensure the people you’re not see-
28
ing don’t feel you just don’t like them. Don’t let them assume. I
29
make it a point to let the people closest to me always know how
30
important they are to me by being fully present in everything I
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do. For example, my friends and family aren’t offended when I
1
don’t make it to big parties because I prefer intimate, quality time
2
with smaller groups or one-on-ones. I may have skipped out on
3
that late dinner with my friend, but at our next catch-up lunch, I
4
had my phone tucked in my bag the entire time. No distractions
5
except our own laughter and excitement to talk about as much
6
as we could.
7
Being fully present in everything you do is one of the keys to
8
work-life integration. Separating work and home life is often im-
9
possible these days, and if you truly love what you do, it’s not a
10
chore to take a 7 a.m. call on the weekend or devote some of your
11
vacation time to business. Just prioritize correctly so that your
12
quality time always goes toward people and projects you love.
13
The only thing no one has learned to make more of is time.
14
Maintaining a million friendships, a family, and a business is im-
15
possible. Decide which aspects of your life are priorities, and
16
scale back on the rest. Find trustworthy people whom you can
17
hand off tasks to. You need to leave time for essentials—like
18
sleep!
19
I can remember sitting for hours and hours among thousands
20
of data servers in a freezing underground data center in down-
21
town Los Angeles to ensure we would complete our next code
22
release in time. I couldn’t actually help, because I don’t code, but
23
I had to be there nonetheless. The guy doing it was a genius but
24
was often unable to stay focused enough to meet deadlines. As
25
a result, there I was, next to him to ensure that the deadline was
26
met. It was. However, in terms of running my business, I paid a
27
steep price. The opportunity cost of not being able to spend my
28
time on other things as I sat there shivering and essentially use-
29
less to the task was high—and unhealthy. I learned that day I was
30
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96 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
never going to succeed unless I found more personally account-
2
able individuals who are able to continually execute.
3
But heed one more word of warning: you must allow yourself
4
time for celebrating those achievements with those individuals
5
along the way. You may want to skip all the fun, but prioritizing
6
and fostering passion can’t be only about the continuous grind
7
or you’ll burn out. Don’t be that person who has forgotten what
8
fun is!
9 10 11 12
Productive Passion: Celebrate Good Times—Come On!
13 14
Before he became a Hall of Fame speaker helping teams and
15
their leaders become peak performers in business, Walter Bond
16
dreamed of playing in the National Basketball Association (NBA).
17
Odds were slim. But he kept practicing and working hard, pur-
18
suing his passion to achieve his vision. He ended up realizing the
19
first step when the University of Minnesota recruited him and
20
he . . . rode the bench. At the end of his first year, Walter asked
21
his coach, “What do I need to do to be an NBA player?” He said,
22
“Look son, you don’t even play for me!”
23
But Walter’s passion for his vision was undeterred. He was
24
relentless. He attacked the list his coach gave him to better his
25
game. Every year in Minnesota he was voted the Most Improved
26
Player—until his senior year. When he broke his foot. Twice. His
27
prospects of playing in the NBA went from seemingly none to
28
“Walter Who?”
29
Still, Walter’s passion was undeterred. He went back to his
30
coach and said, “What do I need to do to play in the NBA?” The
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97
coach told Walter he should be a motivational speaker. “Coach,
1
I can talk the rest of my life, but I have only one chance to play
2
basketball professionally. Tell me, what do I need to do be an
3
NBA player?” The coach told him to lose 20 pounds and learn
4
to knock down a three-point shot. Over the next two months, he
5
got in great shape, worked on his shot, and transformed himself
6
from an unknown college reserve to an NBA prospect.
7
In November 1992, Walter Bond became the first-ever un-
8
drafted rookie free agent to start for the NBA’s Dallas Maver-
9
icks on opening day. He played in the NBA for several years after
10
that and then in Germany for several more before retiring and
11
becoming the acclaimed motivational speaker his college coach
12
predicted.
13
But while Walter played, something changed in him. He
14
could have kept pushing every moment during the season and
15
straight into the off-season, always asking, “What’s next?” And
16
he did push himself hard. But before he pushed, he learned the
17
power of taking a mental step back. Every night before he ran out
18
on the court, he listened as the announcer said his name to the
19
fans, “At six feet five inches tall weighing 215 pounds, from the
20
University of Minnesota . . . Walter Bond!” He made himself stop
21
and say, “Dude, I’m here. I made it. Kids all over the world would
22
love to have my jersey. Players all over the world would love to
23
have my job. I got here!”
24
I love Walter’s story and the lesson it teaches us:
25
Celebrating the small wins is about more than closing a chap-
26
ter on the past or acknowledging the success of the team. It’s a
27
checkpoint on your vision, and it marks a new beginning for ev-
28
eryone, including you, to fuel your passion, keep winning, and
29
achieve even more.
30
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98 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
In business and life, we spend way too much time obsessing
2
over our failures, deconstructing them—even celebrating them
3
as badges of honor. This distraction is not healthy or productive.
4
Why don’t we celebrate the successes?
5
Answer this question: aside from an actual celebration like a
6
holiday party or a wedding or the end of something big like clos-
7
ing a huge deal, when was the last time you focused on telling
8
yourself that you did a great job? Just a pat on the back followed
9
by nothing negative. No list of the things that you could have
10
done and a to-do list for the week ahead. No next steps for ex-
11
ecuting. Just a “Great job!” Few people I know can remember a
12
time off the top of their heads.
13
That’s because we’re far more likely to do it with our pets than
14
ourselves or other people. But that’s not unusual: Many people
15
have a tough time taking compliments and deflect them with lines
16
like, “Thanks, but I could have done better” or “Great, but there’s
17
more to do!” or “I’m happy you’re pleased, but I can’t stop now.”
18
Is celebrating a small win really a sign of weakness or an ex-
19
cuse for not doing more? Too often people say, “I can’t do that”
20
or “I don’t have time to celebrate,” when they really mean, “I
21
won’t take the time.” That’s cutting yourself off from your pas-
22
sion. You need to start small and build from there:
23 24
●●
25 26
start, not a whole week. ●●
27 28
Love cooking dinner for your family? Pick a night to Want to travel? Skip the weeklong production and get an inexpensive hotel room in the nearest city for a weekend.
●●
Love the movies? Go to a midday matinee of that movie
29
you’ve been dying to see—and go ahead and splurge on a
30
tub of warm popcorn.
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Fueling Your Fire
99
Celebrating is a choice, and it’s an important one. You should
1
say no to distractions when prioritizing your passion, but you
2
must also make celebrating a priority. You deserve it. As my
3
grandmother always said, everything in moderation, including
4
moderation.
5
Is every small win worthy of celebration? Yes! It’s just about
6
scaling your celebration to match the performance and rekindling
7
your passion. The most centered professional athletes know to cel-
8
ebrate every win on the field in a public way in front of the fans—
9
home or away. It doesn’t matter if it is a win against the last-place
10
team or a major upset. They celebrate the small wins, not just the
11
championships, before moving on to the next game. That’s about
12
perspective and enjoying what you do—both big parts of what I
13
call productive passion.
14
Without productive passion, you will not only lose sight of
15
your North Star but also lose steam.
16
With passion as my fuel, I have chosen to apply myself in the
17
cut and thrust of business, and I let my achievements speak for
18
themselves. I can’t just keep saying no to the things and people I
19
love—at work and at home—and not expect that fuel to be de-
20
pleted. Whatever you want to do, you want to make a difference.
21
Wherever it is you want to end up, let passion be the fuel for your
22
vision to get you there. Remember: You won’t reach those desti-
23
nations if you are not fully present in life.
24
Most of us have experienced moments when our talents were
25
fully engaged—when we rose to a challenge and were making a
26
difference. The great psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls
27
this a state of “flow”: a mental state of complete absorption in
28
the current experience. Achieving a state of flow means taking
29
the time to remember the joy and purpose behind your vision so
30
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100 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
you don’t end up alone, buried by work, with sanity being a dis-
2
tant memory. U.S. businesses shell out hundreds of millions of
3
dollars each year to achieve employee engagement, and spend
4
billions developing employees’ skill sets. Yet only 13 percent of
5
the workforce attests to having the right type of passion—the
6
kind that drives employees to seek out challenges and develop
7
the skills to push past them.1 That’s unfortunate because pro-
8
ductive passion and its resulting commitment may improve the
9
health of your people and even your own health. A study con-
10
ducted in Denmark found that out of 5,000 Danish workers,
11
those with the highest commitment to their employers slept bet-
12
ter and got sick less.2
13 14 15
Passion Pulse Check
16
The next time you hit a small goal on the way to a big one?
17
Celebrate it with a toast, and own that win. Pat yourself on
18
the back. Smile. Laugh. Go home and play with your kids.
19
Take your significant other out on a date. Buy your team
20
some wine and cheese, and invite them to your place dur-
21
ing a work afternoon.
22
Doing those things will not mean you have taken
23
your eye off the ultimate goal. They simply allow you to re-
24
charge, boost morale, and connect emotionally, and they
25
serve as checkpoints along the way to execution and your
26
ultimate success.
27 28 29
Even if you don’t get sick or burn out, just keeping your nose
30
to the proverbial grindstone can get you stuck—and getting stuck
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Fueling Your Fire
101
in passion is probably the saddest of all. Imagine if you gave up
1
on your passion only because you were exhausted or couldn’t
2
find your way forward. That’s when you need to tell yourself or
3
tell your people to stop. Go home. Take a wellness day.
4
It’s a simple equation: you must be productively passionate
5
to have productively passionate employees. Passionate employees
6
are loyal and happy employees. Loyal and happy employees are
7
what you want your clients and customers—everyone who comes
8
in contact with you and your business—to see. You can’t do that
9
without that flow in all parts of your life.
10 11 12
How much does it take you
13
to never call in sick? How much will it
14
cost you to never call in well?
15 16
And when you get the big wins—the championships!—make
17
sure you throw yourself and everyone around a celebration wor-
18
thy of the triumph. For example, when we had our first $1 mil-
19
lion month at my first company, we celebrated with a team trip to
20
Vegas. More than 10 years later, I took my team to Tokyo for two
21
days when we reached an even bigger goal so that I could deliver
22
on my promise to sing karaoke in the Lost in Translation booth.
23
The team rallied around my challenge. It created camaraderie,
24
and our passion drove us to achieve our shared vision.
25
The passion others feel for your passion while also pursuing
26
their own is what builds great companies and helps realize great
27
visions.
28
My sister calls me the “Lighthouse CEO”: I have to light up
29
everything around me. But I can’t do it all at once, so whatever
30
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102 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
I’m looking at is what I’m focused on until I need to move to
2
the next thing, always illuminating all my passions around me.
3
People feel it too. When I’m looking at them, I try illuminating
4
them with my passion, hoping we can shine brightly together.
5
For that moment, we are 100 percent present and focused—it’s a
6
two-way street of shared purpose. That’s how productive passion
7
inspires action. It makes everyone able to act and react with con-
8
fidence that the boat will reach the shore so everyone can take the
9
next steps together.
10 11
PASSION CHECK
12
Questions for Self-Reflection
13 14
On a scale of 1 to 10, how good are you at doing things that foster your
15
passions?
16
In what ways could you better foster your passions?
17
How are you going to prioritize your passions to help you keep ex-
18 19 20 21 22
ecuting? On a scale of 1 to 10, how good are you at celebrating the small wins? What could you do now for yourself, your family, or your coworkers to make that happen or keep it happening?
23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
9
2 3 4 5
Never Completely Submit to the Dark Side
6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
M
15 y dad spent 30 years in Portland, Oregon, chasing his
16
dream of rehabilitating housing to restore neighborhoods
17
to the family communities they had once been. He built 300
18
homes, which together would be worth close to $100 million to-
19
day—if he hadn’t sold all of them over a 15-year period to fund
20
his new vision for changing the face of elder care.
21
Unfortunately, that elder care venture proved to be more dif-
22
ficult and costly than he had originally planned. A long-term vi-
23
sion often requires a degree of faith and risk to go with your pain
24
and suffering, especially if it involves creating or reinventing a
25
market for a product or service. The lesson is that my dad’s pas-
26
sion blinded him to this risk. Just as he does when he gambles, he
27
kept going even when prudence said to stop and take a step back
28
and reevaluate. He just kept going, never realizing how deep he
29 30
103
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104 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
had gotten. He ended up selling all his homes to fuel his passion
2
and fund his new vision.
3
My dad never saw how deep he was going and how it was af-
4
fecting more than his financial security—it was affecting his en-
5
tire life, including us, his family. It was as if he had stepped into
6
quicksand. He loved all of us, but he had been consumed by the
7
dark side of passion: his willingness to suffer blinded him to all
8
his problems. He just kept pushing through the pain—kept push-
9
ing forward. He forgot to take a step back. He failed to take
10
stock of what he did and didn’t know.
11
He forgot to master his passion. When he didn’t take the nec-
12
essary steps to demarcate how much he was willing to sacrifice, it
13
affected him both monetarily and personally.
14
Pain can be productive and necessary when it comes to pas-
15
sion, but it can lead you to focus on the wrong things and ignore
16
other problems, warning signs, people, possibilities, opportuni-
17
ties, and ideas. No other trait has such a deep dark side.
18 19
Be a Passion Jedi
20 21 22
Finding your passion empowers you to stretch yourself as an en-
23
trepreneur and ensures your business’s growth. It’s an emotional
24
force that can be harnessed for incredible success. That strong
25
emotional connection to your goals and dreams is a powerful
26
drive, but it can also result in inflexibility—an inability to adjust
27
and correct course. People who lead with passion can struggle to
28
keep their goals in mind and can tend to take setbacks personally.
29
Don’t worry, we’re all human, and I can certainly relate. A high
30
level of passion and belief in ourselves will push us to go to seem-
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Never Comple tely Submit to the Dark Side
105
ingly unimaginable lengths, but we must make sure our passion
1
does not inhibit or blind us at the same time to realities or to the
2
need to adapt and evolve.
3
There are plenty of examples of brands and companies that
4
collapsed or have struggled because their passions blinded them to
5
the market’s reality and they failed to adapt—Kodak, BlackBerry,
6
and Blockbuster, to name a few. But I want you to consider pain
7
one more time from a personal level.
8
The chapters in this section have described some of the warn-
9
ing signs that passion was blinding me and others: ●●
10 11
I didn’t negotiate for a better deal for my horseback rid-
12
ing lessons because I would have done even more work to
13
get them, so I just said yes to the first offer. ●●
14
Passion in extremes can lead others to see you as irratio-
15
nal and illogical, which will cause them to dismiss you
16
and your ideas. ●●
17
Passion can make it difficult to choose what and whom
18
to focus on and make it difficult to identify your highest
19
priorities. ●●
20
Passion can make you forget to stop from time to time
21
and smell the roses and celebrate.
22
Before we continue to action, I want you to stop and au-
23
dit yourself when it comes to passion. You can’t lose yourself in
24
the dark side and expect to execute or help others execute at the
25
highest level.
26
This is about you.
27
My grandmother told me to take care of my husband first
28
before my kids because if my husband was happy, then my kids
29
would be happy. While she was right about many things, I think
30
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106 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
she was wrong with that one (sorry, Grandma). It’s really about
2
you being good to you first. If I’m good at home, I can be good to
3
others, my family is good, and my work is good too. Makes sense,
4
right? If I’m good when I’m in the office, then so are my employ-
5
ees. If my employees are good, then they are giving me more time
6
to be with my family. This is a big reason why people who lead
7
with passion can have trouble working with people who don’t
8
drive from the heart—people who are “just doing their jobs.”
9
Your passion is intertwined with theirs, and the jobs are rarely
10 11 12
separated. To ensure that you resist the darkest side of passion like a passion Jedi, ask yourself questions like these:
13 14
●●
Do I say yes to requests and ideas too quickly?
15
●●
Am I mastering my passion and manifesting it produc-
16 17
tively, or is it controlling me? ●●
18 19
make me happy? ●●
20 21
24
Am I focusing on the right things and people? Are they still things and people I’m willing to suffer for?
●●
22 23
Am I still passionate about what I’m doing? Does it still
Has what I am passionate about changed or evolved and I haven’t?
●●
Do I need to let go and try new things? Do I need to do things differently? Pursue less obvious choices?
25 26
Don’t just ask these questions in moments of self-reflection
27
when things are going wrong. Even when things are calm, you
28
should reflect. It’s also important to ask questions when you can’t
29
stop, or won’t stop, acting and executing. You need to know that
30
what you are doing feels right, that you trust the direction your
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Never Comple tely Submit to the Dark Side
107
passion and the team are pulling you in, and that you are still
1
aligned with your vision—that you can and should keep going.
2
I’ve always had great admiration for TV shows that go out
3
while they are on top and are executing on the highest level, be-
4
fore their passion flagged, such as M*A*S*H, Cheers!, Friends,
5
and Seinfeld.
6
Now, ask yourself one more question: “Am I remembering to
7
have fun even when I feel the pain?”
8
I know too many leaders who refuse to take and bask in the
9
love and only try to give. They send the team out for a drink but
10
refuse to go along. They order lunch for the office but don’t join
11
in. They ask how their employees are doing but never share how
12
they are. They send their employees to a spa but never go them-
13
selves. They make someone take a day off but won’t use their
14
own vacation time.
15
You can’t just be good to others. You need to be good to
16
yourself and let others be good to you. You might think you’re
17
being humble, but actually you’re making it about you because
18
the focus will be on you as the team wonders why you won’t
19
spend time with them.
20
Stop letting your passion drive you away from others. Join
21
that team for lunch. Go to the celebratory happy hour. Take a
22
well day or a vacation, and share with the team what you did.
23 24 25
Live a passion-powered life. Lose yourself in
26
a life you love and share it with others.
27 28
Simply put, it starts with you. If you are not good with your
29
passion, then no one else will be—and remember you can’t fake
30
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108 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
it! Make sure you are living your passion and you are enabling
2
and empowering others to live theirs, doing what is genuine to
3
them, not just to you. We like to celebrate together, but we also
4
like to be individuals celebrating and living out loud in our own
5
ways. This is the way I live, day in, day out. Passion is the driver
6
of everything I’ve ever achieved (and will achieve!) and the amaz-
7
ing and blessing-filled life that I am living. Where will your pas-
8
sion take you?
9 10
PASSION CHECK
11
Questions for Self-Reflection
12 13
Remember: Passion in execution is about doing those things you are
14
emotionally connected to and willing to suffer for. It’s what you need
15
to drive you through the long hours, unexpected obstacles, and all the
16
challenges that must be overcome to execute effectively and realize
17
your goals.
18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25
If you haven’t already, please take the time to carry out the actions and complete the self-reflection exercises in this section: • What have you learned about passion and execution? • What have you learned about yourself in this section? • Have you ever let the darkest side of passion—the pain— blind you? • What will you now do differently?
26 27 28 29 30
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Passion—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
109
1 2
Passion—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
3 4 5
PA S S I O N: RE FLE C T I O N S A N D
6
MOV I NG FO R WA RD ●●
7
Passion is loving what you do so much you are willing to suf-
8
fer for it—it is the fuel needed in execution to achieve your
9
vision and goals and to execute at the highest level. ●●
10
Anything worth doing involves difficulties, challenges, and
11
setbacks. Passion doesn’t make sleepless nights, stressful
12
times, and hard work magically disappear, but it does make
13
them bearable. ●●
Passion is the emotional connection to your vision.
●●
This level of emotion is necessary because it drives almost ev-
14 15 16
erything: positivity, self-belief, learning, focus, satisfaction,
17
and motivation. ●●
18
Those who lead with passion lead with their hearts. Their
19
energy and enthusiasm are infectious, and they drive en-
20
gagement, innovation, resilience, and high performance in
21
themselves and others. ●●
22
Remember those others and yourself when you are fostering
23
and prioritizing your passion to take the time to care for you
24
and celebrate with others. ●●
25
But beware! This strong emotional connection to your goals
26
and dreams is a powerful drive, but it can also be misinter-
27
preted as irrational and illogical. Make sure you understand
28
how people perceive it and understand you.
29 30
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110 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2 3
●●
and suffer for your vision doesn’t make you inflexible or blind
4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28
Be careful that the pain you are willing to take as you sacrifice you to necessary adjustments and course corrections.
●●
Discovering your true passion and then driving forward with energy and excitement are huge parts of your success in execution. Those emotions make it possible to put in the work in action, and they give you the power to endure when you need resilience. Sharing your passion binds you to others in relationships.
BE FO RE YO U G O: WHAT ’S T H E S C EN A R I O? This scenario is designed to help you think about everything you have learned in this section. Please take a few minutes to complete this exercise as best you can. I promise it will be worth it. If you get stuck or you are not sure about your answer, go back and review the section. Remember, there is no right or wrong answer here. This is just a way of applying your new knowledge about passion. Often it is easier to give advice to someone else, when you’re not wrapped up in your own world, full of all its complexities. A friend has always enjoyed her job. She likes what she does and the people she does it with, and has always felt challenged. However, lately she has been feeling bored and disengaged, and her work and health are suffering. How would you use the concepts you’ve learned about passion to help her?
29 30
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1 2
T R A I T
3
3
4 5
ACTION
6
Taking That First Step and the Next One
9
7 8 10
A journey of a thousand miles
11
begins with a single step.
12
— L AO T Z U
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
10
2 3 4 5
Setting the Stage to Act
6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
K
“
14 15
im, are you ready?” the producers asked me. What did they mean? Was I ready for the 10-day trip to
16
Tel Aviv and then Germany I was supposed to take in the morn-
17
ing? Or was I ready for my first public speech on execution I was
18
supposed to give to 2,000 people in less than two hours at this
19
beautiful event? An event where I was on the bill with acclaimed
20
speakers whose work I greatly admired? They were authors and
21
accomplished veterans of the stage. I was the new kid on the
22
block, and the conversation quickly shifted focus to my talk.
23 24
“So, Kim, how many times have you given this speech on
25
execution?” “Never.”
26
“No, no, sorry. We meant how many times have you given
27
this speech generally, not the specific one you’re giving for our
28
event?”
29 30
“Nope, still never.” 113
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114 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
“Wait, you’ve never given this talk before?”
2
“Nope. Aside from trying an early version out on a few of
3
my employees, I’ve never spoken to any audience on execution
4
before.”
5
“Are you kidding?” they laughed nervously.
6
I shook my head no.
7
“Seriously?”
8
I smiled. I could see some of them who were involved in the
9
planning of the event turning a little white, concerned they had
10
even invited me. Sensing that concern and worrying that what-
11
ever I said next might get someone fired, I decided not to add that
12
I had never even spoken to an audience this large on any topic.
13
Because in actuality, none of that mattered for me taking the
14
stage for the first time to talk about execution. I knew I could be
15
successful. I pushed their reactions to the side.
16
“Kim, are you ready?”
17
Of course I was! I wasn’t just ready. I was prepared to lead
18
with action. When given a chance to seize an opportunity to take
19
the first step or the next step to realizing my vision, I take it. I
20
always take it.
21 22
Take That First Step
23 24 25
The question I get asked most often by entrepreneurs is: “I have
26
a great idea. Where do I start?” The answer is, “Take the first
27
step!” In most instances, the first step is so easy: Just do. Dive
28
in. Motion creates motion. Just go. And trust me, I understand
29
taking the first step is often the hardest part in an entrepreneur’s
30
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Se t ting the Stage to Ac t
115
journey. But there’s no magic formula for success, and you don’t
1
need 100 percent certainty or even have to know the ultimate
2
destination. You just have to move forward.
3
I asked some of the most successful executives and entrepre-
4
neurs if where they are today is where they thought they would
5
be when they started out in business. None of them said yes.
6
You know I didn’t. My dot-com career went down in flames as
7
quickly as it started. I had no choice but to act. The question was,
8
what choice would I make to act on? I chose Hawaii and starting
9
my own company. The problem is that’s what too many people
10
with brilliant ideas don’t do. They get stuck in analysis paralysis
11
and come up with every reason why not to take the plunge: from
12
finances to the team to the business plan being “not quite right.”
13
Unless you would be doing something illegal or unless lives or the
14
well-being of others would be at stake, these are just excuses for
15
shying away from the first step.
16
People can’t believe I can block out all the noise and act. But
17
that’s what you must do to take the first step and act. I’ve seen this
18
happen dozens of times in my digital career. Two companies have
19
similar ideas: One spends all its time planning and strategizing;
20
the other goes and attempts to build toward its vision. In the end,
21
the company that took action may not have built the better prod-
22
uct, but it acted and made it to market first. Sure, that company
23
hit a few dips before becoming successful, but most companies—
24
like people—rarely achieve success exactly they way they planned
25
it. Success is not linear. It’s the same messy line to the top.
26
That said, I do not recommend that first step be quitting your
27
day job. I’ve seen that happen all too often. If your bank account
28
is empty, then you shouldn’t quit what is making you money. My
29 30
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1
grandfather always said, “Make hay when the sun is shining.” If
2
you have a family, it’s even more important: family first! Remem-
3
ber my cautionary tale about my father: don’t go all in on the
4
next thing or the side hustle until you absolutely have to. Keep it
5
as a side hustle until you can clearly see that you can live off the
6
profits it makes, get funding, or secure a loan to make sure it pays
7
your bills.
8
I didn’t quit my job as a CEO to pursue my passion for exe-
9
cution after I nailed it on that stage that day. But Stacey did. She
10
was a health and wellness nut who worked in corporate finance
11
and wanted to start her own juicing company. She took the right
12
first steps and started working weekends at a farmers’ market,
13
developing devoted juice fans. That’s when she decided to leave
14
her well-paying job to start her own juice company. But she went
15
all in on juice without having a clear business plan to ensure that
16
she could pay the bills. Eventually, she ran out of savings and had
17
to go find a new job.
18
Acting on a vision doesn’t mean all or nothing. It’s truly
19
about trial and error and course corrections, learning what you
20
don’t know so you can act with more and more certainty. But
21
even then you may never be certain! And that’s OK. It’s impos-
22
sible to predict what will happen. You can always change. Just
23
move. Start. Start now!
24
However, when you do act, don’t expect that first step to
25
keep you growing and executing at the highest levels. More than
26
the “Beware!” of acting with total uncertainty or a complete lack
27
of planning, if your action doesn’t evolve to the next step—if you
28
get stuck repeating the first step over and over, competition and
29
imitation come calling quickly in the digital age. One need only
30
think about Apple to understand what I mean. Apple wasn’t first
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117
to market with its MP3 player or smartphone. It didn’t invent
1
voice activation or facial recognition. It simply evolved the tech-
2
nology faster and then marketed it better than its competition.
3
That’s a key lesson in action. Apple acted and kept acting to
4
reaffirm the passion (meaning emotional connection) people had
5
to its brand—even when other brands produced products that
6
equaled or bettered Apple’s. That’s how they were able to stay
7
on top and become one of the most iconic and valuable brands
8
in the world. A brand that people are unquestionably loyal to.
9
Because it’s never just about the product. People act on passion.
10
Apple is not selling iPhones. McDonald’s is not selling hamburg-
11
ers. Google is not selling searches. Nike is not selling sneakers.
12
Amazon is not selling products. They are selling you visions of
13
a better, more connected, and more convenient life to make you
14
want something and act. You need to remember this as you act.
15
In fact, if I hadn’t acted on my passion, my career and life would
16
have looked vastly different.
17 18
Your First Step Is What You Make It
19
Clearly, there are some situations in which there are very seri-
21
ous and far-reaching consequences that require more planning
22
and thought than other situations do when it comes to executing
23
your vision. Big change and big actions often generate big resis-
24
tance in others and in you. But more often than not, big is what
25
you make it in your mind, and that big feeling prevents you from
26
taking that first step. You might think that the first step for me
27
was getting on that plane to Hawaii to start my first business. Yet
28
I might never have had the courage to get on that plane if I hadn’t
29
acted in a smaller way first.
30
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1
When I was a freshman in college, I had a serious crush on
2
this guy in my math class. Before we went into the classroom,
3
I sat outside and listened to him tell stories of growing up and
4
surfing in Hawaii. I’d never been to Hawaii, but it sounded so
5
cool and exotic to me, a girl from Portland, Oregon. I wished he
6
would ask me out. He didn’t. Instead, after listening for weeks
7
every day before class, I committed to myself to make the first
8
move. I went to his dorm room one night and asked him out on
9
a date. Sure, it wasn’t exactly common for girls to ask the boys
10
out on my campus, and there was a chance he would say no. But
11
what if he said yes?! Any risk of rejection outweighed the poten-
12
tial outcome of the date, so I pushed rejection out of my mind,
13
and I turned a deaf ear to my friends who told me I was crazy or
14
that I should “wait for him to ask me.” I walked to his dorm, and
15
knocked with confidence.
16
Fast-forward 20 years later and we’re married and teaching
17
our twins how to surf. And it all started with me resolving to
18
push past any excuses and resistance and acting by
19 20
●●
Taking the first step.
21
●●
Prioritizing the action.
22
●●
Acting even though it was uncomfortable.
23
●●
Taking the next step and then the next and the next . . .
24 25
What was the worst thing that could have happened when
26
I asked my future husband out? He could have said no? My
27
friends made potential rejection such a big deal. It wasn’t—
28
rejection never is. It would just have been a different first step to
29
realizing my vision of our being together. The stakes were not as
30
high as people made them out to be. Most of the time a first step
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is neither an end nor irreversible. Some don’t even have major
1
consequences. We just agonize over rejection instead of finding
2
another path to a path.
3 4 5
One step is all you need to get going.
6 7
Whether it is love or business or anywhere in between, too
8
many of us spend too much time worrying about the possible fail-
9
ure or rejection and the obstacles that could get in our way. We
10
can’t live in the realm of “maybe” or “what if.” That can be para-
11
lyzing. A little healthy skepticism is natural, but the reality is that
12
most of the time the worst thing you think could happen won’t.
13
Don’t worry about what will happen in a week, a month, or a
14
year. Just act! Your first inclination should be to do something—
15
anything—to get you moving in the right direction, no matter
16
how small that step may be. Go forth and start conquering!
17
The Japanese have a word for this in business and life: kai-
18
zen. Basically, kaizen is about making continuous positive
19
changes to increase productivity and improve your life. Each step
20
may seem small, but taken cumulatively, what they lead to is big
21
change. My small step to ask a guy out in college promised noth-
22
ing more than the sting of rejection as a negative consequence.
23
But that same small step led not only to my marriage but to the
24
opportunity to move with him to Hawaii, start my first business,
25
and execute my vision of freedom, being my own boss, and con-
26
trolling my destiny.
27
Sure, there were many other steps that followed. But when I
28
asked my husband out, I stopped doing what normally gets in the
29
way of small first steps: procrastinating.
30
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So:
2 3
●●
prioritize, not procrastinate?
4 5
●●
8 9
How will you keep your actions aligned with your vision and passion?
6 7
How do you take that first step—and the next one—and
●●
How can you manage resistance, doubt, fear, uncertainty, and risk and keep acting?
Let’s explore all of these questions further and get into action.
10 11
ACTION CHECK
12
Questions for Self-Reflection
13 14
People who lead with action seize the day for the right opportunity to
15
make things happen. Think about a time you seized the day and acted.
16
What was your first step?
17
What happened?
18
How did it make you feel?
19
What was the result?
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
11
2 3 4 5
Prioritize Action: Better to Start Than Procrastinate
6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
D
15 espite my entrepreneurial DNA, I admit I used to think the
16
actions that lead to success followed a fairly straight line to
17
the top. Naive, right? As a teenager and college grad, I believed a
18
successful life was going to be simple: I would go to college, get
19
a job, and start a family—each a step up on that straight line to
20
success. This turned out to be far from reality. But that’s okay be-
21
cause success would have been only a fraction as fulfilling as it
22
has been if the path had been linear. Success required me to con-
23
stantly seize every opportunity to take first steps forward and
24
then the next one, no matter how unpleasant they were.
25
Back before I knew success was that messy line to the top,
26
one of my mentors asked me why I saw everything as a step-by-
27
step progression. “Could you see it and do it on parallel paths?”
28
he asked. I never looked at action the same way again.
29 30
Prioritizing your vision is connected to prioritizing the ac121
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122 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
tions that directly relate to executing that vision. That correla-
2
tion is why I keep my vision posted at the top of my to-do list to
3
make sure the things at the top of my list are connected to it. Un-
4
fortunately, too many of us never even get to our to-do lists. A
5
lot of research has been done with college students, and the data
6
shows that as many as 70 percent of them procrastinate. While
7
that number drops after college, up to 25 percent of people admit
8
to significant procrastination as adults.1
9
Some researchers have divided these procrastinators into
10
types. The first is the “arousal” procrastinator: Arousal procras-
11
tinators are people who need the rush of adrenaline created by
12
urgency to execute and thus wait to the last minute. The sec-
13
ond type of procrastinator is more dangerous to execution: the
14
“avoidant” procrastinator.2
15
Avoidant procrastinators can’t engage in the task. This is of-
16
ten because they don’t think they have the ability to do it or that it
17
simply does not inspire them to action. I’ll address doubting your
18
ability or lack of inspiration shortly. But there is another big rea-
19
son that gets in the way of taking that first step and all the other
20
steps going on around you. You have reasons for not acting:
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
I have to do this for my boss. My client needs this now. My kid needs a ride. I’m hungry. I can’t afford it right now. I’m tired.
28
Every one of those reasons may be true, important, and even
29
urgent. But one thing is for sure: reasons do not motivate us to
30
act on our vision. They only lead to answers—usually reasons
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123
why not. That is, excuses. Remember: Passion is about suffering
1
for vision—no excuses.
2
Action is about prioritizing that first step and the next so you
3
hold yourself accountable—no excuses! Even if it means work-
4
ing late when you’re tired and you would rather be in bed watch-
5
ing your favorite TV show. It’s of course much harder to do that
6
when someone else—be it your boss, client, or family—is hold-
7
ing you accountable for your actions (or “nonactions”), but there
8
are plenty of hours left in the day when no one is holding you ac-
9
countable but you. But you must. Undoubtedly, this can be hard
10
to do when so many different things are pulling you in different
11
directions. I get it, but you have to prioritize and persevere.
12 13 14
If You Keep Doing What Is Comfortable and Easiest, You’ll Get Stuck
15 16 17
Most people don’t procrastinate enjoyable activities, like going
18
on a vacation. We procrastinate when we are faced with uncer-
19
tainty or actions that we believe will in some way be unpleas-
20
ant or have unknown outcomes. We procrastinate delivering bad
21
news or doing something difficult because the easiest actions give
22
us the satisfaction of getting something done. But let’s recall the
23
words of President John F. Kennedy, whose vision to reach
24
the moon kicked off the work on these traits of execution: “There
25
are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less
26
than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.”
27
Think about your procrastination. It probably occurs when
28
you have to take actions you don’t want to take or you are un-
29
sure about, or they are outside of your comfort zone. In most
30
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124 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
cases, putting it off only makes the situation worse and makes the
2
first step even harder because you’re thinking about it too much!
3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
Action Pulse Check Think about the last time you had to deliver bad news. What happened when you finally delivered it? Now take some hard-to-deliver news (no matter how small it is) and deliver it. Find the right place to do it— preferably in person but if not, on the phone and if necessary by e-mail (not text). Take note of how you feel afterward.
14 15 16
Stop just checking boxes on your to-do list, and instead do
17
the hardest thing first no matter how unpleasant it might be. I’m
18
not against doing certain tasks because you love doing them, but
19
it usually means you are putting off doing something more dif-
20
ficult. No one ever failed to achieve their goals because they did
21
the harder thing first instead of laundry. I prioritized my vision
22
and passion and created the opportunity by doing difficult, even
23
intimidating, things. I gave them quality time and a higher emo-
24
tional value, and I was willing to suffer for them. Then, I acted
25
and persisted no matter how hard or unpleasant the actions were.
26 27
People have never achieved their goals
28
and reached their visions because
29
they did the easiest things first.
30
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125
I remember as a teenager my grandfather wanted my sister,
1
brother, and me to read a new Rush Limbaugh book. We all loved
2
our grandfather, but that wasn’t going to happen. It wasn’t about
3
Rush’s politics. It was because his book was 300 pages long, and
4
we had better things to do, including nothing at all. As a teenager,
5
“nothing” was better than the unpleasantness of reading that book.
6
Then I had a vision that made my grandfather’s vision mine.
7
I told him if he paid me to read it, I would write him a summary. I
8
ended up making $20. I had just found a way to make it a prior-
9
ity and take the first step.
10 11
Every journey starts with that first page—that first step to
12
your goal:
13 ●●
If you want to be a chef, take a cooking class.
14
●●
If you want to be an artist, take an art class.
15
●●
If you want to start a business, go do the research.
16
●●
If you want to write a book, write the first sentence.
17
●●
If you want your grandfather to pay you to read a book,
18
make a deal.
19 20
And what’s after that first step? Your next step—and every
21
step after that! I cannot emphasize this enough: It’s really easy to
22
get stuck in an action by getting too comfortable with any step
23
in the process. The goal is to keep moving forward and making
24
progress to the goal or finish line. Do not repeat the same step
25
over again because that gets boring!
26
You probably have heard some version of this line before:
27
the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over
28
and expecting a different result. In action, the definition of in-
29
sanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting to
30
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126 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
move forward. Think of it this way: it is entirely possible to run
2
26.2 miles—the length of a marathon—by running 1 mile, turn-
3
ing around, running back to the start, and then running the first
4
mile again about nine times. You cover the same distance and use
5
up just as much energy as the regular marathon without ever ad-
6
vancing past the first mile.
7 8 9
The Next Steps to Realizing Your Vision
10 11
Executing in business is all about growth. But doing the same
12
thing over and over only leads to managing the growth you have,
13
not evolving to create new steps to act and opportunities to grow
14
and execute your vision.
15
Even I have made this mistake. While no one has ever said
16
to me, “Kim, you need to act!” about something I cared about, I
17
have missed some next steps. Not because I repeated steps or hes-
18
itated or thought the action was too risky but because I didn’t
19
go far enough, see the need to scale in my next steps, or failed
20
to put more money in. Other times, I acted and realized too late
21
that I didn’t understand the whole picture when I thought I had
22
planned everything out.
23 24
A couple of times that actually caused my entire company pain—actual pain.
25
As a team bonding experience, I decided a great exercise to
26
help people “break through” their fears and increase their confi-
27
dence would be breaking wooden boards karate style. None of
28
us knew karate, but we were told in the instructions we read that
29
five-year-olds could push through one of the boards. How much
30
fun would this be?
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127
Everyone was into it. “You can do it!” we all screamed as
1
employee after employee approached the boards, brought their
2
hands crashing down, and . . . failed to break a single board.
3
No one could do it.
4
This exercise was supposed to be about confidence, not con-
5
tusions. Yet that’s what everyone was getting as they failed to
6
break the board and grabbed their hands in pain. Turned out we
7
had the boards cut the wrong way. You apparently have to have
8
the wood cut with the grain for this to work. We didn’t. We were
9
trying to break boards for bonding, but we had failed to read that
10
part of the instructions, let alone specify the right way to cut the
11
boards at Home Depot!
12
To avoid breaking more bones in the future, I have learned
13
that next steps often require more planning and focus than you
14
think—a more holistic vision to ensure that you have identified
15
the path to your vision and know what you don’t know. You
16
must understand this too:
17 18
Six Things You Should Do Before You Act
19 20
1. Identify additional action steps.
21
2. Create a time frame.
22
3. Build in accountability.
23
4. Anticipate possible obstacles.
24
5. Create a list of resources.
25
6. Create a review process.
26 27
1. Identify Additional Action Steps
28
Identify the steps that will enable you to realize your vision. Then
29
plan out your steps in sequence, knowing that the next step is the
30
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128 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
most important and that subsequent steps might change as your
2
journey evolves.
3
Be ready and open to pivot when you need to. That way you
4
won’t miss the opportunities right in front of you and those that
5
offer the next opportunities.
6 7
2. Create a Time Frame
8
Set realistic time frames for completing the next step and subse-
9
quent steps.
10
The balance here is in creating time frames that give you
11
enough time to make it happen—but also put enough pressure on
12
you to get going. Too far out and it might be hard to get started;
13
too close and it might feel like too much pressure.
14 15
3. Build in Accountability
16
Ensure that steps are completed. Commit to someone or some-
17
thing.
18
Is it a friend, a colleague, boss? Whatever you do, make sure
19
you have some measures for accountability to encourage you to
20
stay on track.
21 22
4. Anticipate Possible Obstacles
23
How might you overcome obstacles and anticipate what you
24
don’t know? Think about what might get in the way or stop you.
25
Don’t dwell on this, but at least consider what the obstacles
26
might be and how you will deal with them should they arise.
27 28
5. Create a List of Resources
29
Be specific on what you will need to execute—and don’t lowball!
30
My grandfather taught me this rule when I was young, and I
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Prioritize Ac tion: Be t ter to Start Than Procrastinate
129
think about it all the time. Everything will be twice as hard, take
1
twice as long, and cost twice as much as you think it will.
2
Consider everything you’re going to need for effective action,
3
and make the next step happen. Do you need money, and if so, how
4
much? Do you need people, and if so, what are their skills or respec-
5
tive roles? Do you need equipment, and if so, where can you get it?
6 7
6. Create a Review Process
8
You need to review to keep properly focused on progress. Every
9
action is a potential lesson that can inform you about your busi-
10
ness. Record your actions and the results, and make sure you
11
measure what you do and how it turns out.
12
People who lead with action will find taking these steps
13
frustrating—we’d rather just do. But we must review. Take a few
14
minutes to think about them, and answer those questions. As
15
with all of the traits, there is a caution for those who lead with
16
action: the willingness to step in and take on a challenge may
17
have gotten you where you are today, but it also can be your
18
downfall, if it leads you away from your vision and isolates you
19
from others.
20 21 ACTION CHECK
22
Questions for Self-Reflection
23
There’s no substitute for taking action. Anything else is just an excuse.
25
24
What actions will you take?
26
What are your first and next steps?
27
How will you prioritize them?
28
How have you let excuses and fear of rejection stop you in the
29 30
past? How can you get past that in the future?
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
12
2 3 4 5
Vision Quest
6 7 8 9 10 11
W
12 hen I was three, I wanted to lie in a hammock. We didn’t
13
have a hammock, and my parents were not going to buy
14
me a hammock. So I strung a sheet up between two doors in
15
our house and made myself a hammock. I remember hitting the
16
ground hard in my first attempt to secure the sheets to the knobs.
17
This became my earliest evidence of living one of my mottos:
18
“Fail fast, learn, and move on.” On my second try, I succeeded
19
and fell comfortably asleep in my hammock until my parents
20
woke me up for dinner.
21
When I was five, I wanted a pool, but we didn’t have the
22
money to build one. The Portland, Oregon, weather didn’t justify
23
it. My first attempt that spring to build one did not please my par-
24
ents as much as the hammock had: I locked the bathroom door,
25
wedged a towel under the crack at the bottom, and filled the entire
26
room with dish soap and water. I was enjoying my bubble pool
27
until my parents arrived home to soapy water gushing through
28
the roof of the dining room. My second try was more success-
29
ful that summer: I took all the sand out of my sandbox and put a
30
131
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132 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
green tarp down and filled it with water to make the pool of my
2
dreams. I spent countless days that summer playing in it.
3
When I was eight, my desires had become more manageable
4
but couldn’t be solved by creatively using what we had around
5
the house: I wanted a comic book. My parents told me if I wanted
6
it, I needed to find a way to earn it. That’s when I learned you get
7
5 cents for returning a can to the supermarket in Oregon. Money
8
did not grow on trees, but it did lie in trash bins! Every can I saw
9
in a bin or in people’s hands as they drank looked like opportu-
10
nity. I pulled my red wagon from door to door in my neighbor-
11
hood collecting the cans. Neighbors soon started saving them for
12
me, and it added up fast.
13
So when I say my actions have always been in line with my
14
visions to get what I wanted—even the small ones like those I just
15
described and eventually those horseback riding lessons I bar-
16
tered for at 11—I pretty much mean always.
17
But as a teenager my visions went beyond hammocks and
18
horses. In high school, my vision for my “life” got much bigger:
19
owning a red Jeep Wrangler.
20
I had a clear, compelling vision of this Jeep. I loved the feel-
21
ing of freedom it would give me as I thought about it. I could feel
22
myself driving down the road, wind in my hair, top down, 1990s
23
music blasting. I pictured myself driving it to school and picking
24
up my friends and talking about our days. We would go to the
25
river and listen to Bon Jovi.
26
I had to have that Jeep, and it had to be red. I was deter-
27
mined. I taped up pictures of that Jeep in my room and got to
28
work. First, I made a deal with my dad and mom: they agreed
29
to match every dollar I earned to buy the Jeep. No after-school
30
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Vision Quest
133
sports or activities for me. I worked any job I could find. I folded
1
sweaters and ran the cash register at a clothing store. I made
2
pizza. I sold men’s suits. I worked at a candy store. I babysat. I
3
was focused and willing to do whatever it took to get that Jeep.
4
I even built in accountability by having my dad regularly check in
5
on whether I was reaching my savings target.
6
And I did it. It took me two years from the time I had the vi-
7
sion, but I finally got the money to put a down payment on the
8
Jeep. But most importantly, it was the first time I understood the
9
power of having my goal visible so I could see it and revisit it
10
over and over again. While other people at work were moaning
11
and complaining, I generally had a smile on my face because I
12
knew I would soon be driving my red Jeep. Everything I was do-
13
ing was directly connected to my vision taped up in my room. I
14
had purpose, focus, and accountability to my vision. I had to con-
15
tinue to work to pay for the monthly payments, but I didn’t care.
16
I knew going in that was part of the deal with my dad, and I was
17
prepared to do whatever it took to get it and keep it.
18
Congratulations, you’re halfway through our journey through
19
execution! Time to reflect back on vision and make sure you have
20
this too.
21 22
Don’t Mistake Busyness for Progress
23
In a world of limited time and resources, you need to carefully
25
choose where to invest your energy and actions. Be selective.
26
What is important along every step of the way is that your ac-
27
tions are aligned with your vision and your passion for it. That
28
way you always ensure that those actions aren’t just checkmarks
29
24
30
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134 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
on a to-do list—or worse, checkmarks on a to-do list for the vi-
2
sions others told you to pursue.
3
This is why you must create that constant daily review pro-
4
cess for your actions and make sure your actions align with your
5
vision, not just the bottom line:
6 7
●●
Is where you are going still where you want to go?
8
●●
Are your actions helping you achieve your vision and fos-
9
tering your passion?
10
Think back to the scenario in Chapter 3 and Darren whose
11
friends and family told him he made the best chili in the entire
12
world and convinced him to quit his job and open a food truck.
13
He was miserable. What happened? He took the first step. He
14
even took some of the next steps and planned well. But Darren
15
never wanted to open a food truck: the food truck was their vi-
16
sion for him. How did he think pursuing their vision could last
17
when he never saw it for himself?
18 19
Without vision, action is just busyness.
20
Without passion, it’s boring.
21 22 23
Sometimes it is easy to check the alignment between your ac-
24
tions and your vision and passion. When I got on that plane to
25
Hawaii to start my first business with only the money I had bor-
26
rowed from my grandmother, I remember asking myself, “Am
27
I crazy?” But I quickly remembered my goals for my vision that I
28
had written down long before I left: freedom, to be my own boss,
29
and to control my destiny. The delete button had been pushed on
30
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Vision Quest
135
my professional identity, my income, and my future, and I had
1
vowed never to let that happen again.
2
It’s when the steps start adding up and speeding up that you
3
need to check yourself. Really think about what it is that you
4
want and are working toward. After all, it is your vision and pas-
5
sion that keep you going when the actions inevitably get to be a
6
real slog. As Yogi Berra said, “If you don’t know where you’re
7
going, you might not get there”:
8 9
●●
Visions can evolve. Is yours still where you started?
10
●●
Passions can wane. Are you still willing to suffer for your
11
vision?
12 13
Only when the answer to these questions is yes can you have
14
progress—both for yourself and others.
15
Consider another version of the food truck scenario from the
16
vision section: What if Darren did have a vision to open a food
17
truck, but he didn’t love cooking food for anyone but his clos-
18
est friends and family? His execution would dissipate because he
19
wasn’t pursuing his passion. But gut checks are not always this
20
easy and clear before the first step.
21
For example, what if Darren did love serving chili to all
22
people and making them happy? He could picture himself in the
23
truck. Sure, he knew it was a tough business, but he loved chili
24
and loved making it. Then he discovered that there were already
25
two popular chili food trucks in town. Competition for the chili
26
dollars was fierce, but the food truck scene was hot. So Darren
27
pivoted. He researched what kind of food trucks were missing in
28
town and one stood out: Chinese food.
29 30
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136 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
There was only one problem: Darren hated Chinese food,
2
never made it, and never ate it. But the demand was there, so he
3
pursued that path, eventually quit his job, and opened the truck.
4
Six months later, he found himself making money, but he was
5
stressed and angry. The truck was doing fine, but he was not. He
6
mismanaged his expectations. When he got an offer to sell it at
7
a breakeven price, he jumped at it and immediately returned to
8
his old job.
9
What happened? This time Darren took steps toward his vi-
10
sion of a food truck, and it was his passion, right? So why did he
11
fail? Because he was suffering for only part of his passion. De-
12
spite his vision and passion for the food truck scene, he had no
13
emotional connection to the single thing he would be connected
14
to: the food. Even though he was successful, he came into work
15
every day hating the product he produced.
16
Sometimes this matters, especially when you are personally
17
connected to the product, not just the process. I never cared what
18
jobs I had as long as I earned money toward my pursuit of my red
19
Jeep. I wasn’t producing what I sold. Same thing when it came to
20
not worrying about what I sold once we set up my first business
21
in Hawaii. I sold toy cars, teeth whiteners, doggie sunglasses . . .
22
whatever it took to get me to where I wanted to be. My passion
23
was for the process, not the product. But if your passion is con-
24
nected to the product and the process, then you can’t let either be
25
out of alignment.
26
And without that alignment between vision, passion, and ac-
27
tion, you’ll never inspire others to join you and act on your be-
28
half to scale the vision you have.
29 30
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137
1 2
Action Pulse Check
3
Do what Darren failed to do when he executed his vision
4
for opening a food truck. Break your passion down into
5
two parts: process and product. For him that was running
6
a business cooking and serving others (process) and chili
7
(product).
8
Do you have passion for both sides of the list, and are
9
they aligned with your actions? If not, adjust your passion
10
and actions—or consider whether your vision is not what
11
you actually want to act on.
12 13 14 15
Action Without Others Is Lonely
16 17
I love what I do. I also love just as much that I get to work with
18
some of the most talented individuals in my industry. I’ve worked
19
with some of the same people for nearly 20 years, but I’m
20
prouder to call them my friends. In fact, my office is right next to
21
the office of my best friend from college. That’s why every time
22
I see someone acting alone, I always feel a tinge of sadness—
23
regardless of whether I disagree or agree with the action.
24 25
You need others to help you take the
26
next steps and develop a culture of action in
27
which to scale your vision and grow.
28 29 30
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138 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Getting people to act on your vision in business does not
2
need to be a lonely experience, nor should it be. Other people
3
give you different perspectives on your action based on their per-
4
sonal experiences. They give you peripheral vision and feedback,
5
and they prepare you for potential blind spots. We’ll cover this
6
in depth in Trait 5, “Relationships,” but when it comes to action,
7
know that as you grow, you need to bring people in and surround
8
yourself with others who want to help you act.
9
There are so many different and new opportunities that if
10
you look at them from only one perspective, you may miss op-
11
portunities. I need people who can see them too. It is important
12
not just to do what you are told—or focus exclusively on the
13
risks and downsides.
14
As you have probably guessed, repetitive action is not my
15
style. I am always looking to take the next step. Yet unlike run-
16
ning a marathon, you can’t always leave the first steps behind.
17
You need to hire help or automate actions that are repeatable
18
and not the best use of your time so you can move on to the next
19
steps. That means not only delegating to others those actions that
20
have become systematic (even the ones you love to do) but also
21
empowering other people to take actions.
22
Allow your people to take action and push forward in ways
23
you might not see or have considered—as long as what they do
24
aligns with the company vision.
25
I’ve been the CEO of businesses with hundreds of employ-
26
ees, and I still call myself an entrepreneur—someone who feels
27
like she’s just starting, pushing boundaries, willing to take risks
28
to grow. I want anyone who works for me or with me to feel
29
the same way. Bottom to top, I don’t want anyone confined to
30
a box—people can’t just do what they’re told. So I’m naturally
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Vision Quest
139
more hands-off than some executives, and I expect my leaders to
1
be the same way. I also don’t want the people I surround myself
2
with to act like me. I want them to challenge and push me and
3
themselves forward. I do not want a table full of naysayers. I do
4
want people to play devil’s advocates. I’m happy to have a bunch
5
of entrepreneurs acting entrepreneurial in the service of achieving
6
the goals of the company.
7
How can we do that? By creating autonomous work envi-
8
ronments that allow your employees to be “intrapreneurs.” Intra-
9
preneurs are entrepreneurs within the walls of the company they
10
work for. They get job security, but they also have the opportu-
11
nity to work as individuals in identifying, anticipating, and pur-
12
suing opportunities.
13
How do you create that? Just let it happen. Don’t try to make
14
people conform to one vantage point because conformity will get
15
you only one way—and not necessarily the best way—of doing
16
things. Allow people to teach you and create, innovate, and imag-
17
ine any idea possible. Allow them to be individuals and express
18
their individuality. We can still be a team serving the goals of the
19
company or our vision and demand results and have individual-
20
ity. It’s wrong to think that those actions have to be in conflict. In
21
fact, working in that type of environment is how your employees
22
and coworkers will learn to challenge you and most importantly
23
themselves. You don’t win by having people focus on mitigating
24
the risk of their actions. You don’t succeed by just following the
25
safe choices.
26
And you can’t always rely on what the data tells you at first
27
glance. We all want the comfort of certainty. Numbers can pro-
28
vide that comfort. But even numbers can be an illusion. In a quest
29
to feel more comfortable about our decisions, we can use data to
30
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140 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
engage in seeking confirmation bias, which works this way: hav-
2
ing made a decision, we seek out all the data that confirms our
3
judgment and we ignore all the data that disagrees with it. We get
4
the illusion of certainty through selective attention. That’s not a
5
good idea. Better to let the data tell all its stories.
6
I was watching the movie Hidden Figures, a dramatization
7
of the untold story of African-American women who worked as
8
mathematicians or human “calculators” for NASA at the start of
9
the space race. The United States had fallen behind Russia and
10
meeting President Kennedy’s challenge to reach the moon by the
11
end of the decade. In one scene, Katherine Johnson (who was a
12
real-life hero and, at 97 years old, received the Presidential Medal
13
of Freedom from President Barack Obama) is pressed by her su-
14
pervisor about how she came up with the correct calculations for a
15
rocket launch despite all the redacted information in the document.
16
“Well, what’s there tells a story if you read between the lines,”
17
she says. She did the math, she said, and “looked beyond” the
18
data.
19
It’s indisputable that Katherine Johnson and the other fe-
20
male African-American mathematicians disrupted the culture of
21
NASA and forced the men to see problems and people differently.
22
They were instrumental in helping the United States reclaim the
23
momentum from the Russians and reach the moon first. While
24
the world outside pushed people of color to the margins of soci-
25
ety, NASA knew that a culture of action is no good if it doesn’t
26
challenge and disrupt, allowing people to “look beyond”:
27 28
●●
You need to encourage disruption—different ideas or
29
ways of doing things—in the workplace and marketplace
30
and support it with your actions.
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Vision Quest
●●
●●
141
You need a strong organization and leadership to do this
1
to mitigate the chaos of a lot of parallel actions and ex-
2
plorations, not to mention the risks.
3
Your people need to be held accountable for their actions,
4
but they do not, and in some cases should not, follow the
5
same next steps you take.
6 7
But some words of warning as you look beyond: People who
8
lead with action have to remember that not everyone does. Take
9
a moment and remember that you may want to go go go, but
10
others who lead with one of the other traits may act slower, and
11
speed is not always the fastest path to success for everyone.
12 13 14
It Is a Journey
15 16
People who don’t know me are often surprised how much I
17
value the idea that the journey itself is the destination. Part of
18
this comes from my parents, intrepid entrepreneurs who drove
19
around the country looking for places to live. It was a latent bit
20
of DNA, I admit. I used to think the destination was the destina-
21
tion, just as I used to think success was a linear progression. The
22
willingness to take on any challenge has gotten me to where I am
23
today, but I would get lost if I focused only on the action—and
24
thus lost not only perspective but also the joy of the journey.
25 26 27
Your journey should be enjoyable
28
and, yes, fun.
29 30
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142 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2 3 4
And it is all a journey! Let me tell you something about work-life balance: It is illusive and elusive. It’s not as much about a work-life separation or balance as it is about a work-life integration.
5
The distinction between work and play is actually arbitrary,
6
a function of the binary brain that likes to divide the world into
7
polar opposites. Often work feels like play, and sometimes play
8
feeds your work. I have had some of my best ideas when vaca-
9
tioning! Why not share them? Technology has enabled us to be
10
available 24/7. Resistance may not be futile, but what are you
11
fighting? And how much is it costing you? This is why I don’t
12
mind taking a conference call on vacation—because the reality is
13
that I’m able to enjoy my vacation more by doing this.
14
My success is defined by doing what I love with people I care
15
about every day and helping them achieve their visions. Success
16
is best when shared—with employees, partners, clients, friends,
17
family, and your community. So I try to create and maintain as
18
many synergies as possible within all areas of my life. That does
19
not stop me from doing what I love—in fact, it has allowed me to
20
do more of what I love as I have taken each step forward.
21
For example, I love to travel. Working for a global company,
22
I not only get to travel for work but I can also have my husband
23
fly out for a four-day weekend to explore Paris, Tokyo, or Berlin.
24
Because my visions, passions, and actions infuse each other, I
25
never feel like I am missing anything because I refuse to accept
26
that they must be separated in order to have balance. When you
27
act, you must maintain the important relationships in your life
28
so you never feel totally alone, even in the most stressful times.
29
If you don’t, your actions might still lead to success, but the only
30
one celebrating and toasting you will be . . . you.
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Vision Quest
143
1
ACTION CHECK
2
Questions for Self-Reflection
3
On a scale from 1 to 10, how are your current actions directly related to
4
your vision?
5 6
On a scale from 1 to 10, how are your current actions fostering your
7
passion?
8
On a scale from 1 to 10, how are your current actions bringing you
9
joy and connecting you to those you care about? If your answers are low or you feel a sense of stress or doubt when
10
you act, take some time to assess why. Double-check that it’s what is
11
right for you and what you want. You may need to go back to your vi-
12
sion and make sure it is what you truly desire and are passionate about
13
before moving forward. Often, our visions are things others want or ex-
14
pect from us, but those visions aren’t what we truly desire or they are
15
driving us away from the people we care about most.
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
13
2 3 4 5
Fear of Flying
6 7 8 9 10
O
11 nyema lived in a poor Nigerian village with her grand-
12
mother because her mother had to work in a neighboring
13
village. When she was six, she saw a plane flying overhead for the
14
first time, and was so awestruck that as she soon as she discov-
15
ered what it was, she vowed to be a pilot. This seemed impossible
16
to those around her.
17
Onyema refused to give in to the seeming impossibility of her
18
vision. Her passion drove her to keep going and do well in school
19
in addition to all the other work she had to do in the village. When
20
she was the equivalent of a high school senior, she took a 12-
21
hour bus ride to the capital and found an Internet café where she
22
planned to apply to the University of Alabama for a place in its
23
aerospace course. However, the application cost money, and she
24
didn’t have any. That’s when some locals, hearing her story, gave
25
her the money for her application. Onyema was soon accepted.
26
The following school year, Onyema left her village and flew
27
to Atlanta. When she got to Atlanta, she had a new problem: she
28
hadn’t realized she needed another flight to Tuscaloosa, and she
29 30
145
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146 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
again didn’t have the funds to pay for her flight. So she found a lo-
2
cal Nigerian couple in Atlanta who were willing to help. They gave
3
her a place to stay for the night and later made church collections
4
for her tuition and even gave her a car. Onyema made it to the Uni-
5
versity of Alabama that fall, but even with the help she had been
6
given, she couldn’t afford to stay the full four years. In the end, she
7
attended several schools, often doing one semester at a time be-
8
cause she didn’t have the funds to pay for a full year’s tuition.
9
Today Onyema is an aerospace engineer and has started a
10
charity to encourage African women to explore STEM studies.
11
She has spoken alongside the Nigerian minister for education
12
and other senior officials in her home country.
13
Onyema’s story is beyond inspiring. She is the perfect exam-
14
ple of the importance of taking it one step at a time and using
15
your passion to push through to achieve your vision. Can you
16
imagine the fear and doubt she had to overcome to execute her
17
vision, especially one that seemed so far-fetched to everyone she
18
had grown up with?
19
Sometimes you know your vision, feel deeply connected to
20
your passion, devise an action plan designed to accomplish your
21
goals, write each step down, assign a timeline, ensure that ac-
22
countability is built in, and . . . still don’t manage to take action.
23
We’ve all been there before: when fear and doubt get in the way
24
of action and making decisions that lead to successful execution.
25
Hey, the actions you take can be life changing, and the pros-
26
pect of executing something big and far-reaching can be daunt-
27
ing. It’s okay to be afraid that you will fail just as it is okay to fail
28
fast, learn, and move on.
29 30
Onyema has been there. I’ve been there, but like us, you cannot let fear stop you from acting and executing.
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Fear of Flying
147
Successful Executors Feel the Fear and Act Anyway
1 2 3
While Onyema’s dream was to be a pilot, I’m the opposite. I have
4
an enormous fear of flying. Whenever I’m on a plane, I’m over-
5
come with palm-sweating, white-knuckle fear. But that doesn’t
6
stop me from getting on a plane nearly every week and traveling
7
the world for both business and pleasure. Yes, statistically I know
8
I am more likely to die from a car crash then a plane crash, but
9
fear isn’t necessarily rational.
10
I just never let my fear—or any fears, doubts, or other obstacles—
11
stop me from taking action to achieve my goals, and I am not go-
12
ing to start by refusing to get on a plane.
13
The fact is that human beings, like other animals, were orig-
14
inally designed to survive by avoiding dangerous situations.
15
Our brains are wired to look for “the negative” and avoid it. That’s
16
why even in business today, if we sense a threat—something that
17
makes us scared, something risky, or even just something
18
uncomfortable—we become overcautious because we think our
19
survival depends on it. So we play it safe. We make comfortable
20
choices even though most of us know the magic happens when
21
we get out of our comfort zones.
22
Simply put, we overvalue fear. As a result, we can easily get
23
carried away with our worst fears and let them influence our
24
thoughts and actions.
25
This is why we must learn to manage our emotions so that
26
we recognize and acknowledge them but don’t overvalue them
27
and give them too much power. But this also means we need to
28
develop a mindset that is an antidote to fear and stress. This is
29
where keeping constantly connected to your vision is so critical.
30
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148 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
It will help protect you from being overwhelmed by stress, from
2
overvaluing it and allowing it to change your thought process.
3
Moreover, passion and motivation are connected in the brain
4
and are mediated by the same neurotransmitter: dopamine. You
5
can think of dopamine as the high-grade fuel needed for the long
6
journey ahead.
7
Instead of feeling the fear, taking it in, and turning it into ac-
8
tion to power us through, most of us let fear overwhelm us in-
9
stead. I refuse to let fear overinfluence me, and so must you. If I
10
did, I wouldn’t get out of bed. I’d pull up the sheets and hide.
11 12
Don’t let fear, doubt, or uncertainty
13
stop you from taking action.
14 15 16
I have learned to deal with my fears—embrace and manage
17
them as I execute, and so must you. Resolve to control them and
18
not let them control you. Remember: Emotional mastery is es-
19
sential to successful action because we feel emotions only in the
20
present. Your worst fears are not certainties, just overvalued anx-
21
ieties. They are connected to the present, not the future. Fear can
22
prevent us from taking the next step. It is about how you feel you
23
are going to feel. Anticipation of a plane crash is not forecasting a
24
crash. It is about how you feel getting on that plane. You are feel-
25
ing the worry about it now, not what will happen—any facts you
26
are dealing with are actually just probabilities, not certainties.
27
Negative feelings—or even positive ones like love and trust—
28
can distort everything with extreme lows and highs. Don’t let
29
them overwhelm you. Take them in and master them. That goes
30
for doubt too.
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Fear of Flying
149
Don’t Doubt Yourself
1 2
Doubt is trickier than fear to master because it sounds much
3
more rational. And that’s exactly what it is, a rationalization:
4 5
The time is not right.
6
I don’t have all the information I need.
7
It’s going to take a lot of effort.
8
I don’t know whether I will succeed.
9
Those are just some of the ways doubt gives you permission
10
to play it safe or not take action. To avoid getting trapped, the
11
first step is to stop measuring everything by success or failure.
12
No one wins all the time. Only the best hitters in baseball bat
13
more than .333, which means few get a hit in more than one-
14
third of those at bats. The biggest home run hitters usually bat
15
much lower. The last one to hit more than .400 was Ted Williams
16
in 1941. The point isn’t how often you fail or succeed but that
17
when given the most important opportunities to act, you execute
18
and take another step toward success.
19
So here’s my question for you: Are you ready to take that step?
20
That’s a trick question. Of course, you’re ready! If you are in
21 22
action, then you’re ready:
23 ●●
●●
●●
1260128520_perell_final.indb 149
Don’t wait. Push aside your fears. Trust yourself and your
24
instincts.
25
Don’t think you have to start small or even big. Everyone
26
has to start somewhere.
27
Don’t wait for the perfect conditions. Conditions and
28
timing will never be perfect. It’s about progress before
29
perfection.
30
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150 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
This is where keeping constantly connected to your vision is
2
so critical. As we covered in the section on passion, emotions are
3
essential to executing our visions because they drive the stories
4
we tell ourselves and seriously influence our thoughts and thus
5
actions. Most of the time these thoughts are driven by the need
6
for emotional comfort and consistency. This means in times of
7
stress, we will distort the narrative, often leading to an unwar-
8
ranted change of direction—a step away from what we fear or
9
doubt will work.
10
Remember: Successful executors take action. They know
11
there is no wrong first step. The same grandfather who told me
12
to make hay when the sun is shining also told me, “A path leads to
13
a path,” and I have almost always found that to be true. Even if
14
that path leads me to what won’t work, I’m still a step closer to
15
what will. Acting with total uncertainty or complete lack of plan-
16
ning is very different from not trusting yourself.
17
I have learned not to doubt myself or hesitate when faced
18
with a degree of risk and uncertainty, especially if the action is
19
deeply aligned with my vision and passion. That means I’m will-
20
ing to suffer for it, which is what I was doing the day I delivered
21
my first speech on execution. I gave up my family time, refused
22
to let the 10-day work trip that started the next day be an ex-
23
cuse for not accepting the invitation, and got on a plane (which,
24
as you now know, I hate). And while I might have checked in
25
with myself before I went on stage, I never doubted that my ac-
26
tions would deliver. You don’t fake it ’til you make it. You do it
27
and make it real! I refused to worry about aiming too much be-
28
fore I fired.
29 30
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151
1
Progress before perfection.
2 3 4
Actually, I want you to stop thinking in those terms: ready,
5
aim, and fire. There is no ready. There is no aim. There is no
6
fire. It’s all part of action, and they all happen at once. Because
7
most people have several actions—personal and professional—
8
happening at once. Nothing will ever be perfect, and you can’t
9
expect it to be. There was always a chance I would bomb that
10
day, fail to connect with the audience, forget my words, or have
11
my jokes fall flat. There is always a risk of failure. If there isn’t,
12
you’re not aiming high enough. I simply refused to make the risks
13
bigger than they were.
14
Was it the right opportunity for my vision for my execution
15
platform? Worth my time? Right audience? Yes, yes, and yes.
16
Why else would I leave my family and take time I didn’t really
17
have out of my weekend? When offered an incredible opportu-
18
nity to further my goals, I acted—just as I had when I cut short
19
our 10-year anniversary trip to stop in Singapore to begin the sale
20
of my business. This was too big a moment to pass on. I wanted
21
nothing more than to seize this opportunity to help people.
22
If my fellow speakers knew more about me and the way I ex-
23
ecute, they might not have blanched at my seeming lack of prepa-
24
ration and readiness. Because I wasn’t just ready. I was prepared
25
for my debut on stage. I have learned to surround myself with
26
people who can help make my actions successful. The few run-
27
throughs I had done were in front of people I trusted to give me
28
unfiltered feedback to make my points stronger and the content
29 30
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152 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
more organized. My slides were professional, and I had interac-
2
tive handouts for the whole audience. In other words, my passion
3
for the topic didn’t make me irrational, and leading with action
4
didn’t make me reckless.
5
People who lead with action always know there is no time to
6
get stuck in analysis paralysis. In this context, action isn’t always
7
about a grand strategy or a clear, step-by-step plan. I’m not dis-
8
counting the importance of strategy and planning. I just know
9
how easy it is to get stuck spending your time and energy plan-
10
ning rather than doing. No time for doubt or fear—for playing it
11
safe and staying in my comfort zone.
12
So many ideas and businesses fail to act and execute because
13
they wait for the “perfect time” to act and they try to time the
14
market. Which no one can really do. There’s never a perfect time.
15
Bad timing can kill a great idea, but no one can completely con-
16
trol that—or even prevent it. The dot-com company I worked for
17
in 1999 was like Dropbox. The vision was right, but the timing
18
was wrong. That happens sometimes. Your steps might not lead
19
where you hoped, and it’s probably going to take more effort,
20
time, and money than you expected. But you can’t let that stop
21
you from taking action. You have little chance of success and
22
finding the path that leads to a path if you don’t move.
23
You have even less if you doubt your potential and the po-
24
tential of others to act. There is so much untapped and unknown
25
potential out there—people who underestimate their capabili-
26
ties. And this goes for the solo entrepreneur to the top of any or-
27
ganization. Doubt, like problems, is often just about scale. The
28
problems you have as a startup and a $10 million company will
29
often be the same problems you have as a $100 million company,
30
just bigger.
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153
1
No one knows everything about what they
2
are doing when they act, and those who say
3
they do are either delusional or arrogant.
4 5 6
Why do we think we should always be right? That we must
7
have all the answers? Because too many of us have been taught
8
that makes us strong. No. I’m always ready to admit I do not have
9
all the answers, and I consider other perspectives. That’s not doubt.
10
That’s power.
11
Opening myself up to other people’s perspectives lowers my
12
resistance to change and helps me deal with the uncertainty that
13
could prevent me from doing many things. It sets me up for resil-
14
ience. I won’t let doubt stop me because I know it is an exagger-
15
ated, and on many occasions irrational, reaction. Just as I treat
16
fear, I don’t let doubt get the better of me and prevent me from
17
taking the actions I need to take.
18
Yet that’s about me: sheer willpower and emotional mastery
19
get me through most of my fear, doubt, and uncertainty. Here are
20
six other techniques for taking action that have helped me act
21
when I was faced with those emotions:
22 23
Six Techniques for Taking Action
24
1. Follow the 40-70 Rule.
25
2. Consider the worst-case scenario.
26
3. Find out what is missing.
27
4. Assess the risk of inaction.
28
5. Avoid the “when . . . then” trap.
29
6. Identify the best thing that could happen.
30
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154 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
1. Follow the 40-70 Rule
2
One of the most common ways people get stuck in fear and doubt
3
is focusing on their need for certainty. How to remedy this? I like
4
General Colin Powell’s “40-70 Rule.” The essence of the rule is
5
this: collect 40 to 70 percent of available facts and data, then go
6
with your gut. Don’t wait until you have enough facts to be 100
7
percent sure, or you’ll be too late.
8
I’ve seen many companies fail because, unfortunately, they
9
wanted that 100 percent certainty. That’s not only fear of uncer-
10
tainty talking but also wanting certainty in a world that is any-
11
thing but certain. That’s when the marketplace leaves you and
12
your business behind. This is why you must execute faster than
13
ever. Companies on the S&P 500 Index 50 years ago stayed on
14
the index an average of 33 years. By 2026, that number is ex-
15
pected to be just 14 years.1 There is always new competition or
16
a killer app or innovation or a change in the market. There are
17
new customers whom you have never served, new global partners
18
that you can’t understand, new generations you need to commu-
19
nicate with, and new ways of doing business that you don’t learn
20
in business school.
21
For example, early in my career, I invested in three similar
22
companies at once because I believed their ideas were right for
23
the market. I just did not know which one would execute bet-
24
ter. Most people would not take that investment thesis, but I was
25
only 40 percent certain, so I covered all my bets. In the end, one
26
company went under and one was sold, which was a wash, but
27
one is still going strong today. A decade later, faced with the same
28
opportunity and knowing what I know now, I’d like to think
29
I could get to 70 percent certainty in the same amount of time
30
and just invest in two of the companies. But I wouldn’t wait for
1260128520_perell_final.indb 154
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Fear of Flying
155
absolute certainty to invest in just one because the valuation
1
would have certainly gone up by the time I was able to make the
2
decision.
3 4
2. Consider the Worst-Case Scenario
5
When I was about to buy my first house, I was worried that I
6
couldn’t afford it. My dad asked me, “What’s the worst thing that
7
could happen?” I thought about it. The worst thing that could
8
happen was that I would have to give it back to the bank. “Can
9
you handle that?” my dad asked. I could. I was willing to bet on
10
myself and act even when thinking about the worst thing that
11
could happen by taking that action.
12
If you can handle the worst-case scenario, then you know
13
you can probably handle anything else in between. Remember:
14
Your confidence in you (and your team) needs to be greater than
15
anyone else’s doubt—especially your own. It’s a bet that you’ll
16
deliver on the promise of what you are doing.
17 18
3. Find out What Is Missing
19
Fear or doubt might be in the way, but there is often some-
20
thing missing that is not letting us feel “safe” taking action. Do
21
you need to assess the pros and cons of the action? Write them
22
down.
23
Do you need a clearer picture of how you are going to take
24
your first step? Get that clarity from someone who has done it
25
before. Are you someone who needs to know the next step before
26
taking the first? Do you have a Plan B? Map them out. I know
27
what I have needed was unconditional encouragement from my
28
husband and family that if I failed, they’d be there to pick me up.
29
What do you need to take action?
30
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156 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
4. Assess the Risk of Inaction
2
Sometimes the risk of not taking action is actually greater than
3
the risk of moving forward. Take a look at the risks or issues
4
if you don’t take the first and next steps. What would happen?
5
What would the outcome look like 3, 6, or 12 months from now?
6
Are they greater than the risk associated with taking it? Are you
7
making those risks much worse than they actually are?
8
It’s usually better to rock the boat than to die sinking in it—
9
or watch someone else seize the day. If you don’t see the competi-
10
tion in front of you, that means everyone is chasing you.
11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
5. Avoid the When . . . Then Trap When I have enough money, then I can start my own business. When I have more experience, then I’ll go out on my own. When I get this next training, then I’ll get started. When I get my website up, then I’ll go get clients. When I have all the data, then I’ll make a decision.
21
You know what these “when . . . then” statements usually mean
22
for action? Inaction. Someone once told me, “One day or some-
23
day is not a real day, like Monday or Tuesday.” It’s all a trap for
24
inaction—for playing it safe and getting distracted by thinking
25
too long about things too far ahead.
26
It’s too easy to wait for all the data to take that first step. Ac-
27
tion is just like exercise: The first step is to move. Get out of your
28
head, and act to execute your vision. Thinking about the things
29
that might happen is essential for adaptation and anticipation, but
30
too much leads to analysis paralysis. There are always exceptions
1260128520_perell_final.indb 156
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Fear of Flying
157
to the rule, but you can’t play for the exceptions (or contingen-
1
cies or possibilities). You can just prepare for them. If you keep
2
playing for the exceptions—just as if you always planned for the
3
future without taking care to grow in the present—you will never
4
play for the realities. When you think about all the possibilities,
5
you actually end up putting off action.
6 7
6. Identify the Best Thing That Could Happen
8
There are lots of things that could happen, and we can’t always
9
stop thinking about them. I need to remind my team of this some-
10
times: There is always going to be risk. There’s always going to
11
be something that might happen. Why not think about the great
12
things that could happen if you take action? What are the possi-
13
bilities? What doors would open? At times, that risk might be too
14
great, but when there’s no risk, there’s usually little opportunity
15
for growth. You execute, but you get a lower return or results.
16
That’s thinking and acting too small.
17
We should be thinking about what the opportunities are and
18
act. That’s how I grew my business to where it is today: by never
19
being afraid to take that first step.
20 21
The best things happen when you do.
22 ACTION CHECK
23
Questions for Self-Reflection
24
Consider a time in the past when you had fear or doubt but you took
26
action anyway.
27
25
How did you feel?
28
What was the outcome?
29
How can you use that feeling now?
30
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158 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2
Consider a time in the past when you had fear or doubt but you failed to act.
3
What stopped you and why?
4
Is this what usually gets in the way of your taking action? Is that
5 6
what’s stopping you right now from taking action? How could you move past this uncertainty?
7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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Ac tion—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
159
1 2
Action—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
3 4 5
AC T I O N: RE FLE C T I O NS A N D M OV I N G F O R WA R D ●●
6
Action is the linchpin for the five traits of execution. It’s the
7
trait around which all the others revolve. ●●
8
Action reminds you to check your vision and fulfill your
9
passion. ●●
10
Action creates more opportunities—not just for growth but
11
to be strong and resilient and to form relationships so that
12
you can scale your execution. ●●
There’s no substitute for taking action.
●●
Sure, you can always find reasons to wait, delay, and avoid,
13 14 15
but you’re wasting time and energy. Remember that until
16
you act, all your analyses and projections are approximations
17
and guesswork. You don’t know what will happen until
18
you start. ●●
19
As human beings, we tend to err on the side of caution, and
20
we overvalue fear and doubt. It is essential that you do not let
21
these biases—and they are biases—stop you from taking the
22
first and next steps. ●●
23
Learn how to put the doubts and fears and uncertainty to
24
one side, address them head-on, or keep them in perspective
25
and act anyway. ●●
26
Always make sure that your action steps are aligned with
27
your vision and capture your passion and emotional
28
commitment—to yourself and those you care about. When
29 30
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160 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2
they are aligned, they will be more meaningful, compel-
3
ling you to take action and ensuring that you appreciate the
4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27
value of every step. ●●
All that will be extremely important, especially managing emotions, as you develop the traits of resilience and create relationships and gain a balanced perspective on action and execution.
BE FO RE YO U G O: WHAT ’S T H E S C EN A R I O? This scenario is designed to help you think about everything you have learned in this section. Please take a few minutes to complete this exercise as best you can. I promise it will be worth it. If you get stuck or are not sure about your answer, go back and review the section. Remember, there is no right or wrong answer here. This is just a way of applying your new knowledge on action. Often it is easier to give advice to someone else, when you’re not wrapped up in your own world, full of all its complexities. A highly successful executive wants to leave her job and start her own business. She’s excited because she feels this new venture will be great for her and her family, and it will give her the opportunity to make a real difference. But she’s scared and doesn’t know where to start. What step would you advise her to take first? How would you advise her to act?
28 29 30
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1 2
T R A I T
3
4
4 5
RESILIENCE
6
Dealing with Obstacles, Change, and Uncertainty
9
7 8 10
Genius is 1 percent inspiration and
11
99 percent perspiration.
12
—THOMAS EDISON
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
14
2 3 4 5
Life Rarely Goes as Planned
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
T
13 he day our twins came was the best and worst day of my life.
14
I had always dreamed of having a large family. My fa-
15
ther’s parents were married over 60 years, had five boys, 16
16
grandkids, and 28 great-grandkids. My childhood was filled
17
with family reunions at which each family would wear color-
18
coded polo shirts, ours in a bright blue. We looked like a box of
19
crayons—one my husband and I wanted to add our color to.
20
We had been together for over a decade when I sold my first
21
company in 2008. It was then that having a family became the
22
new North Star for the life I wanted. We were young, healthy, and
23
happy. Our families had no history of infertility. We followed all
24
the advice for emotionally and physically preparing to get preg-
25
nant. Neither of us thought for a moment we would run into any
26
problems.
27
Until we did.
28
When I initially failed to get pregnant, we knew starting our
29
family wouldn’t be as simple as we had hoped. But we kept trying.
30
163
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164 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Time crept by at a painful pace. Weeks became months and
2
months became years. After countless visits to doctors, we had
3
no explanation. We were devastated, but quickly came to terms
4
with the fact that our journey to parenthood—like any suc-
5
cessful journey—was going to be more difficult than most. We
6
would not be deterred by some inconclusive tests in our quest for
7
a bigger family.
8
We decided to try in vitro fertilization (IVF), which included
9
blood tests, ultrasounds, daily shots, and surgery. Most women
10
have few complications from these procedures, so I assumed I
11
wouldn’t be much different. I had my egg retrieval surgery on a
12
Monday morning, and with my doctor’s permission I boarded
13
a plane to Aspen Tuesday afternoon to attend my company’s an-
14
nual executive off-site meeting.
15
I was feeling a little fatigued when I left my house, but I was
16
sure it was just a result of the hormone drugs. I was wrong. Over
17
the next 48 hours, liters of fluid filled and distended my abdo-
18
men. I couldn’t eat anything, and I soon became violently ill. I
19
had never been so sick or terrified in my life. I called my hus-
20
band and told him I would get on the next plane back to San Di-
21
ego, which connected through Los Angeles. But by the time I got
22
to LAX, the pain was so disorienting I couldn’t think straight, let
23
alone wait hours for another flight. I was really hurting, and I just
24
needed to get home, so I took a taxi back to San Diego, passed
25
out in the backseat.
26
When I arrived home, I could barely speak or move. My
27
husband immediately rushed me to the emergency room. The
28
hospital quickly determined I was suffering from ovarian hy-
29
perstimulation syndrome. It’s caused by fertility drugs, and most
30
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Life Rarely Goes as Planned
165
cases are mild. Mine was severe, and if it had been left untreated
1
for much longer, it could have killed me. I was immediately
2
checked into an operating room where a tap drained the fluid
3
from my abdomen. After a couple of days of bed rest and fluids,
4
I regained my energy and optimism. The doctors said there was
5
no reason I could not continue to try IVF with closer monitor-
6
ing. I was more committed than ever to ensure I did everything I
7
could to turn my vision of having a family with my husband into
8
a beautiful reality.
9
We spent the next two years doing the IVF procedures, all
10
with no success. After sharing our story with a close friend, he
11
mentioned that he knew someone who had a surrogate carry
12
their twins. Wait, surrogate? Of course I had heard of surrogacy,
13
but I didn’t know anything about the clinical details. When I had
14
dreamed about my journey of becoming a mother, I had always
15
assumed I would be the one to carry my own child. But we had
16
already gone through so much pain and disappointment. Sur-
17
rogacy offered us a different direction—a new opportunity. We
18
spent the next year with lawyers, physiatrists, and potential sur-
19
rogates until we finally found the perfect match: Jennifer. She
20
lived in San Diego, and we could attend all of her doctors’ ap-
21
pointments and be there for the delivery.
22
Surrogacy was not the pregnancy I had imagined on our jour-
23
ney to parenthood, but the end result would be the same: a family
24
of our own. When we got the amazing news we were having twins,
25
we were over the moon! But given the roller coaster we had been
26
on, my husband and I agreed to wait until well into the second tri-
27
mester to share the news outside our immediate family. And that
28
was fine because I had plenty going on to occupy my mind.
29 30
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166 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
During Jennifer’s (and my) pregnancy, my deal with the Sin-
2
gaporean company I was trying to sell to heated up. We went
3
into full-blown due diligence—a very time-consuming process
4
that can go for months on end. Meetings with lawyers and bank-
5
ers consumed almost the entirety of my days and nights. But I
6
had the note with my vision to sell my company on my bath-
7
room mirror to keep me going. And now there was a perfect and
8
much anticipated addition: the ultrasound picture of our two lit-
9
tle ones. I had it with me at all times to remind myself that the
10
sleepless nights were worth it.
11
If all went as I had imagined, I would have plenty of time to en-
12
joy and commit to both momentous events. The target closing date
13
for the deal was April. The twins weren’t expected until August.
14
Nothing went as planned.
15
A sudden infection forced our surrogate into the hospital
16
at 20 weeks, bedridden. The infection got worse over the next
17
month, and the doctors were forced to deliver our twins at 24
18
weeks—three and a half months before their due date. I never got
19
to hold my babies or even touch them after they were born. Both
20
weighed only a pound and were immediately whisked away to
21
neonatal intensive care unit. My son had a staph infection and
22
brain bleed, and my daughter needed open-heart surgery.
23
I had been relentlessly tough in the face of so many setbacks
24
and obstacles in my life, but nothing had prepared me for this
25
nightmare. Neither my husband nor I had ever seen anything
26
worse or heard anything more awful than our doctors telling us
27
in the kindest way possible that there was a good chance one or
28
both of our babies wouldn’t survive. Even if they did make it,
29
they were so underdeveloped they could be disabled for life. It’s
30
hard to describe in words. We felt . . . immobile.
1260128520_perell_final.indb 166
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Life Rarely Goes as Planned
167
The first time we touched our children was through the hand
1
holes of an incubator in the NICU. Their tiny hands were barely
2
big or strong enough to wrap around our fingers. No one should
3
ever have to see tubes and wires running from their babies’ frag-
4
ile bodies to screens and machines. No one should ever see their
5
children attached to machines keeping them alive, feeding them,
6
monitoring their vital signs, giving them oxygen . . . you don’t
7
want to think about losing them. Even when every doctor has
8
told you the worst-case scenario is “more than possible,” you
9
can’t give up hope.
10
There wasn’t a single day in the 14 weeks that I didn’t fear
11
one or both of my twins was going to die. There were days I
12
didn’t want to get out of bed, let alone go to work, but I had no
13
choice. I had two little babies who needed me as they fought for
14
their lives, and hundreds of employees and their families count-
15
ing on me to close the biggest deal of my life with a company
16
halfway around the world.
17
While my husband and I never dismissed the possibility of
18
the worst-case scenario, we refused to focus on it. Even with
19
all the stress and uncertainty, we kept an overall positive outlook.
20
We never gave up. We persevered—for each other and them. We
21
had no choice but to be strong so they could feel our strength,
22
prayers, and love to overcome the odds.
23
We hid our pain from the world. Outside of our immedi-
24
ate family, no one still had any idea of the pain we were going
25
through. No one saw my broken heart at work. No one heard
26
about the countless nights I cried myself to sleep. Or the dras-
27
tic ups and downs I experienced during the daily health updates.
28
The same was true about my deal. As my children fought for
29
their lives, the deal had dragged, and we had missed our April
30
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168 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
closing date. We were now well into May, jeopardizing the vision
2
I had on the note taped to my bathroom mirror. But I wouldn’t
3
let my team feel the constant and crushing pressure I was under
4
to close the deal and get back to the hospital to be with my chil-
5
dren. I had to be strong.
6
Over the following months, my visions became reality: the
7
deal closed, and our twins’ health stabilized. They were fighters.
8
When we were finally able to bring them home from the hospi-
9
tal, we threw a surprise party to introduce them to our friends.
10
I’m sure you can imagine their reaction: “What? You have twins?
11
How could you have not told anyone?”
12
The truth was, our experience was too painful to share with
13
more than the few people we needed to get us through. I have
14
never felt so vulnerable. Those days challenged my faith and opti-
15
mism to a near paralyzing degree. So much so that it hurts to talk
16
(and write) about it today. But I now realize our twins showed us
17
true resilience and brought it out in us. They helped us surmount
18
the insurmountable. Reminded us to find strength when we were
19
powerless and helpless. To persevere when the odds said that fail-
20
ing was more than an option. To believe in the possibilities when
21
uncertainty was all we had.
22 23
Often the only thing certain
24
in life is uncertainty.
25 26 27
The truth is that few of us will face moments like ours with
28
the birth of our twins. We haven’t since. Most tests of my re-
29
silience have looked more like the time when the first company
30
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169
I worked for went bankrupt. Not literal life-and-death circum-
1
stances, just life not going as planned when you try to execute.
2
The easy choice is always to give up. The path I chose when our
3
twins were born was to continue believing in the possibilities and
4
to have the emotional endurance to move forward despite the
5
pain and hardship.
6
This is what it means to master resilience. This is what you
7
need as you encounter your own obstacles, setbacks, and failures
8
in executing your vision.
9 10
RESILIENCE CHECK
11
Questions for Self-Reflection
12
What are the biggest obstacles standing in the way of your success and
14
executing your vision? Take some time to think about that before we
15
dive into the details of resilience and execution. Then think about you
16
and your strengths when it comes to resilience.
17
13
How do you typically feel when things don’t go according to plan
18
and you don’t get the results you had hoped for? For example, were
19
you feeling frustrated, guilty, energized, or stressed?
20 21
What do you typically do when things don’t go according to plan
22
and you don’t get the results you had hoped for?
23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
15
2 3 4 5
Bouncing Back After Setbacks
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
I
was at IKEA on a weekend in 2006 when I got the phone call
13
from my tech guy: our server had failed and could not be fixed.
14
We were operating on a bare-bones budget, and a backup server
15
was too expensive. Now our database was gone, the data unre-
16
coverable.
17
My heart dropped. I thought it was the end of my company.
18
That one server represented the entirety of the business. There
19
was no business without it. A small part of me thought about
20
folding—closing up shop, making excuses, forgetting this ever
21
happened, and getting out. I was in full panic mode as I searched
22
to find an exit from the never-ending IKEA maze of living and
23
dining rooms and floor samples of what things look like when
24
all the screws are in the right place, desperately trying to think of
25
what to do next for my collapsing company. This was a major er-
26
ror and oversight, and I took full responsibility as CEO.
27
First thing Monday, I risked embarrassment, yelling, and
28
worse. I personally reached out to our clients one by one to ex-
29
plain what had happened. I blamed no one but me, and asked for
30
171
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172 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
their patience and support while we got back up and running. I
2
promised to never make the same mistake again. I hoped that our
3
good work and relationships with them would give them confi-
4
dence that we would rebuild better than before and that we were
5
determined to do so. We had already bought a new server and a
6
backup, and we would work around the clock until we were up
7
and running.
8
Not a single advertising client deserted us that day or in the
9
weeks that it took to get our marketing platform running again. I
10
was transparent about the situation from the beginning, and I hon-
11
ored my promise of doing everything we could to fix it. I contacted
12
our clients and bared my soul. I explained our solution—to rebuild
13
and install a backup source—and asked if they would send me a
14
copy of the data I had lost. Even with a few new gray hairs and
15
more sleepless nights, I felt uplifted. I had not succumbed to the
16
temptation to hide any of the truth when faced with this setback or
17
play the blame game as I put the crisis behind us.
18
And I was better for it.
19
Something like my server crash happens to everyone who is
20
trying to achieve anything, and it will inevitably happen to you as
21
you execute on your vision. In executing in business and in life,
22
it’s rare that everything runs completely according to plan. Yet re-
23
search has shown that people are overly optimistic in their pre-
24
dictions about their ability to complete a task. It’s very common
25
to ignore or discount the fact that obstacles will arise, leading to
26
execution problems when the unexpected occurs, so:
27 28 29
●●
Remember what my grandfather told me. Everything takes twice as long, costs twice as much, and takes twice
30
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Bouncing Back After Se tbacks
●●
173
as much energy as you anticipate. You should expect
1
complications, delays, drama, rejection, and chaos on the
2
path to success— and prepare for all of that.
3
Remember the drawings of what success really looks like.
4
You must find a way forward through the ups and downs
5
even if it means throwing your plan away and making a
6
new one when the situation calls for it.
7 8
And if you fail? So what! At least you go down swinging.
9
When faced with defeat, the easiest thing to do is to quit or play
10
it safe the next time you execute. No! There’s a reason why the
11
classic hero’s journey involves overcoming obstacles to achieve a
12
goal. There is something noble and universal in meeting all chal-
13
lenges and rising above setbacks, obstacles, and failures. That
14
kind of success helps define you as a hero—to yourself as well as
15
others.
16
Not as a savior but a hero of execution.
17 18
RESILIENCE CHECK
19
Questions for Self-Reflection
20
How do you typically feel when things don’t go according to plan and
22
you don’t get the results you had hoped for (for example, frustrated,
23
guilty, energized, or stressed)?
24
21
What do you typically do when things don’t go according to plan
25
and you don’t get the results you had hoped for? Explain the strategies
26
behind those actions.
27 28
Think about the last time you faced failure, serious challenges, or a
29
major setback. How did you react? What did you learn?
30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
16
2 3 4 5
Fail Forward
6 7 8 9 10
A
11
ccording to an article published on Bloomberg.com, people
12
who have previously failed have doubled their chances of suc-
13
cess the next time around compared to first-time entrepreneurs.1
14
Failure—and accepting it—is part of success. I’m living proof.
15
Like many entrepreneurs, I encountered failures like my
16
server breakdown early in my career. You and your team will at-
17
tempt things that will fail, and you will need to adapt to change.
18
Understanding the inevitability and power of those failures has
19
been vital to executing in my own career and fundamental to
20
building a company in a growing and dynamic market. In fact, I
21
believe if failure doesn’t happen to you—if you’re not failing and
22
bouncing back constantly—you’re not trying hard enough! I still
23
fail all the time. Really! Failure just has a different scale and feel
24
to me today.
25
Resilient people “fail forward” and thrive in the process of
26
change. Knock them down 9 times and they’ll get up 10 times.
27
Not only will they get up but they’ll get up stronger and wiser: ●●
28
Being resilient means anticipating change and adapting
29
accordingly. Resilience isn’t just about dealing with
30
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176 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
obstacles, crises, and setbacks. It’s about dealing with
2
them in constructive, creative ways.
3
●●
Being resilient means understanding that difficulties not
4
only are going to occur but also offer the best opportunities
5
for growth. No one loves to hit dead ends, but the resilient
6
among us know how to uncover possibilities while holding
7
on to their purpose, staying true to themselves, and believing
8
in themselves and their teams. This makes them inspiring and
9
calming individuals when situations are intense or chaotic.
10
●●
Being resilient means accepting that setbacks can be over-
11
whelming and can lead to uncomfortable emotions. Was
12
I embarrassed when I had to call all my clients when our
13
server crashed? I was mortified. But I moved forward
14
anyway and showed my team the way.
15 16
All of that is why resilience is a key factor for personal and
17
professional success when that line to the top gets really messy. In
18
a study sponsored by Nationwide and Vodafone, nearly 100 per-
19
cent of participants cited resilience as a factor in their success.2 It
20
works the other way too. An Accenture survey reported that 71
21
percent of executives valued resilience in employees when decid-
22
ing whom to hire and retain.3
23
Without resilience, we are at the mercy of the universe. We’re
24
left feeling battered by the unexpected, overcome with emotions,
25
and incapable of making decisions. Yet adding an ounce or two
26
of fortitude and self-determination to our lifestyle flips the script.
27
Suddenly, we can fail and come back stronger. We can accept
28
life’s uncomfortable, even tragic lessons and use them as step-
29
ping stones. We see this every day in the way our people and our
30
world respond to national tragedies and natural disasters when
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Fail Forward
177
we pull together to help others and be our resilient best and find
1
a way forward.
2
Doing that requires focusing on these key areas that are es-
3
sential to resilience and execution: ●●
4 5
Developing a growth mindset: This is the cognitive ability
6
to perceive things differently. ●●
7
Developing a growth heartset: This is the emotional en-
8
durance to keep going so that creativity, adaptation, and
9
innovation can thrive even in the face of failure and you
10
still have the courage and will to keep going. ●●
11
Practicing how to be resilient: Because like any muscle in
12
your body, you build and develop it through exercise.
13
Just remember as we move forward in this section, if you lead
14
with resilience, your biggest weakness can be the overuse of your
15
strength.
16 17
You Might Never Give Up, Even When You Should
18
Not all circumstances have good outcomes or possibilities. There
21
are true dead ends, mistakes that you cannot fully recover from,
22
and times you must move in a different direction than you ini-
23
tially expected. Make sure you know when to let go.
24
19 20
25
You Might Stop Seeing Opportunities, Even When You Shouldn’t
26
Resilient people course correct easily, but they can get caught up
29
in their passion and action when executing a solution. Don’t get
30
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178 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
too focused on what you’re doing and thus miss a different di-
2
rection and bigger opportunities. Make sure you know when to
3
move on.
4 5 6 7
You Might See Too Many Possibilities When You Really Need to Focus
8 9
Resilient people thrive in chaos and have a natural instinct to
10
pivot. But don’t pivot so fast that you fail to see an idea all the
11
way through. Fight the boredom to always change. Be resilient,
12
be adaptive, and be creative, but don’t course correct to oblivion.
13
Make sure you know when to stay the course.
14
· · ·
15 16
OK, ready? Let’s get going and build your resilience so you can
17
keep moving forward. Learning to overcome challenges, obsta-
18
cles, setbacks, and failures that come your way will lead to your
19
greatest opportunities for adaptation, learning, and growth.
20 21
RESILIENCE CHECK
22
Questions for Self-Reflection
23 24
For one day, challenge your thinking. Be the devil’s advocate. Think dif-
25
ferently. Take the opposite view and make a case for alternative posi-
26
tions. Then take a step back.
27
What did you learn from this exercise?
28
What will you now do differently as a result?
29 30
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1
17
2 3 4 5
Minds and Hearts
6 7 8 9
B
10 eing 23 and having to lay off my colleagues, some of whom
11
were my dearest friends, only to be let go myself was one of
12
the most challenging times in my life. It didn’t matter that I knew I
13
had done the best I could and controlled everything that was pos-
14
sible to control. Ultimately, none of us had jobs, and I’d let people
15
down. I felt like a failure. The emotional weight was heavy.
16
As I saw it, I had two options. I could get swept up in my sad-
17
ness, be depressed, and ruminate about what we could have done
18
differently. Or I could find a way to move forward. I had tried to
19
do that before the bubble burst by finding new revenue streams.
20
When that failed, I resolved to build something that wouldn’t
21
have that same outcome, and started my first company.
22 23
In doing so, I took control of the two sides of resilience to ex-
24
ecute: mindset and heartset.
25
Mindset: Challenging the Status Quo
26
In Mindset, Carol Dweck’s classic book on the psychology of
28
success, she talks about the difference between a “fixed” and a
29
“growth” mindset. Someone with a fixed mindset believes in
30
27
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180 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
limitations and believes that change is painful and difficult.
2
Someone with a growth mindset recognizes that change is not
3
only possible but also a driver of creativity and success. In to-
4
day’s ever-changing world, adaptation is vital. So resilience is also
5
about having a mindset that allows for creativity and adaptation:
6
a growth mindset.
7
A growth mindset means that in every situation, there is an
8
opportunity to learn and see things differently. It involves al-
9
ways challenging the status quo and considering many possi-
10
ble avenues. It is the constant search beyond the obvious and an
11
open-mindedness to consider alternatives to every problem and
12
situation.
13
What if you challenged the status quo and saw everything be-
14
fore you as an opportunity? Even stumbling blocks would appear
15
to be steps up. That’s the mindset of entrepreneurs who know
16
that the five-year industry failure rate hovers at around 50 per-
17
cent, as evidenced by a Statistic Brain study.1 Does that stop this
18
resilient crowd? Not a chance!
19
To become resilient, you must be open to the same possibil-
20
ities, fostering growth. As you meet challenges, even those that
21
seem insurmountable, you must begin to consider them from new
22
and multiple perspectives. Give yourself a bird’s-eye view. Yester-
23
day’s failure can become tomorrow’s success if you take the right
24
path. Arianna Huffington had the doors to publishing slammed in
25
her face over and over when her second book was rejected more
26
than 30 times. Then she had the doors to elected office slammed
27
in her face when she lost her California gubernatorial bid. But
28
as the saying goes, those closed doors opened a window for a
29
new venture in 2005: HuffPost, today one of the most powerful
30
platforms in the world.
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Minds and Hearts
181
By being open-minded and developing a growth mindset that
1
is not fixed on the obvious, you can train yourself to see different
2
perspectives on any issue, which will allow you to formulate new
3
solutions to almost any problem. This will serve you well when
4
things don’t go according to plan. Conversely, having a growth
5
mindset will also serve you well when things are going well and
6
there is seemingly no reason to adapt or be resilient because no
7
changes are needed. In fact, when the only thing certain is uncer-
8
tainty, that’s when adaptability is crucial: when you don’t know
9
what you don’t know. That’s when you need your growth mind-
10
set to make you stronger.
11
Look at Jeff Bezos. Remember when Amazon was just a dis-
12
ruptive bookseller? Yet Bezos has done more than disrupt various
13
businesses to become the third largest retailer in the world. He
14
has fundamentally disrupted the way business is done. He cared
15
less about what Wall Street thought and more about investing to
16
grow the business into new areas like cloud computing.
17 18 19 20 21
Resilience Pulse Check
22
Take a situation you are experiencing right now that is a
23
problem or crisis. How could the concept of having a growth
24
mindset help you think differently and execute better?
25
Now, think of something that is going really well—
26
where you are succeeding. How could you use this con-
27
cept of a growth mindset to help you identify how it could
28
be even better?
29 30
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182 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
But just because you succeed with a growth mindset doesn’t
2
mean you can then leave your heart behind. A growth mindset
3
that allows you to learn from failure but have the courage to
4
keep moving in the face of failure requires a growth heartset. You
5
need a growth mindset if you’re going to be disruptive. You need
6
a growth heartset to stay human.
7 8
Heartset: Emotional Strength in the Face of Difficulties
9 10 11 12
Despite the risks I faced when I started my first company, I had
13
the mindset to seize the opportunity to act. But I needed my
14
heartset to be emotionally resilient as I set out to create some-
15
thing of my own. And that heartset was tested. Many times when
16
I was working to grow the company, I had to use my personal
17
savings and max out my credit cards to cover payroll. I even
18
worked without pay for an entire year because I knew deep in my
19
heart we would be successful.
20
Almost all entrepreneurs and leaders have a similar story of
21
how their heartset pulled them through the tough times. When
22
the music site Pandora faced corporate bankruptcy in 2001, its
23
founder Tim Westergren wouldn’t give up and still believed he
24
could make it. His heartset was so strong that 50 employees felt it
25
and agreed to work without pay until the company could escape
26
its fiscal hole. It took two years and dozens of heartfelt speeches
27
to pump up his people and keep them pushing forward to reach
28
that goal.
29
The team’s resilience in the face of failure paid off in the end.
30
Like Westergren himself, his people probably had to max out
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Minds and Hearts
183
their credit cards and put off paying bills. Who knows how many
1
of them crashed on a friend’s sofa for too long or lived with their
2
parents? But that’s what heartset does. It pushes you further than
3
you thought you could go when you believe and feel you are ex-
4
ecuting on something great—even when prudence says quit and
5
the emotional and fiscal stress is strong.
6
Westergren himself doesn’t advise entrepreneurs to do this
7
(and what he did is actually illegal in California, which he didn’t
8
realize at the time). Still I understand wanting to push past that
9
emotional stress. Since those early days of my company and de-
10
spite being secure in my vision, I still go through emotional stress
11
all the time. It’s a daily event. It would destroy me if I let it. I need
12
my heartset to stay positive, even in the face of problems and cri-
13
ses that affect the growth of the company.
14
Heartset is the ability to find emotional strength in the face
15
of difficulties—the feelings that keep our growth mindset from
16
being too cold, too mean, and too lacking in kindness or even
17
humanity.
18
Consider this lesson from Elon Musk. Before he was a bil-
19
lionaire inventor and entrepreneur, Elon Musk failed many times.
20
In 1996, he was kicked out of the company he had founded with
21
his brother. After that, his first iteration of PayPal was identi-
22
fied as a terrible business idea. His Tesla vehicles have come un-
23
der scrutiny, while several of his SpaceX rocket launches have
24
exploded. But through all this, Musk has been determined to
25
succeed. After each of his failures, he has dusted himself off and
26
looked to the future for growth, and has found success, including
27
successful rocket launches in 2018.
28
That’s what the people and organizations who invest in
29
his success expect him to do: execute in spite of any failures or
30
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184 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
setbacks. In fact, despite those explosions and before the recent
2
rockets that made it into space, SpaceX signed an agreement with
3
NASA—the first deal of its kind made with a private citizen.
4
Musk is now worth more than $20 billion, and his products
5
are known all over the world. But I never knew the depth of his
6
heartset until he showed his heart to the people who work for
7
him. In 2017, an e-mail he wrote to the team at Tesla was posted
8
online. Musk wrote it after he learned about the high rate of inju-
9
ries being reported at his Freemont, California, plant. He said he
10
would personally get involved on the line to encourage transpar-
11
ency in reporting. He even told the team that he would perform
12
the same tasks as the people who were getting injured:
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23
Going forward, I’ve asked that every injury be reported directly to me, without exception. I’m meeting with the safety team every week and would like to meet every injured person as soon as they are well, so that I can understand from them exactly what we need to do to make it better. I will then go down to the production line and perform the same task that they perform. This is what all managers at Tesla should do as a matter of course. At Tesla, we lead from the front line, not from some safe and comfortable ivory tower.2
24
Sure, paying attention to workers has a long connection to
25
worker productivity, but fidelity to those workers does not. So
26
many leaders talk about creating connected and collaborative
27
work environments, but those environments turn out to be toxic
28
for the workers and fall apart when the bottom line stops growing,
29
problems surface, or accusations of corruption, discrimination,
30
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Minds and Hearts
185
and harassment arise. These leaders and their organizations
1
lack heartset and thus resilience. An e-mail from those leaders
2
in Musk’s position might be scoffed at as “too little too late”
3
and a publicity ploy. Musk’s words weren’t met with skepticism
4
because he already had created a culture of resiliency that had
5
heartset.
6
Musk’s e-mail is a lesson on how essential it is to stay con-
7
nected top to bottom so that when your resiliency is tested, your
8
people already know that you care about what it is before you
9
step foot on that line. His heartset made his people feel his pas-
10
sion for what Tesla was doing and fight through the problems.
11
He channeled his heartset into a problem and turned an ab-
12
solute negative into a chance for something positive.
13
Here’s what I’ve learned to do for myself when fear, anxiety,
14
frustration, and stress creep in. I find something else I feel con-
15
nected to and passionate about. I don’t wallow in it. When I’m
16
out of control in one situation, I look for stability in another area
17
of my life. I focus on things that are positive, inspiring, and up-
18
lifting for me.
19
When I feel overwhelmed, I make it a priority to focus on
20
things that relieve stress like playing with my twins, taking a spin
21
class, or having lunch with a friend. As a CEO, I often deal with
22
significant stress and uncertainty, so I have learned to compart-
23
mentalize when things get crazy such as during the acquisition
24
of another company. There are some decisions I can’t control be-
25
cause I am working with so many parties. In fact, I don’t always
26
have control of the outcome—acquisitions sometimes fall apart
27
for many reasons (for example, money, state of the market, or
28
lack of agreement from the board and shareholders). That’s when
29 30
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186 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
I step back and remember not to take things personally. I have
2
learned that in certain situations, it may be best to remove myself
3
from the situation completely.
4
The hardest part for me is to forgive myself even when others
5
cannot. I can’t get weighed down in what didn’t work. It’s quick-
6
sand. When others are upset and angry with a decision I’ve made
7
or a direction I’m taking, I must be able to step back and ask my-
8
self, “Is what I’m doing right and for the greater good?” My dad
9
always said, “At the end of the day, you have to know that you
10
did the best you could. That’s all you can do.” I must know in my
11
mind and my heart.
12
That said, if you’re generally fulfilled, you can avoid wallow-
13
ing too long in difficult situations. Plus, you will be able to say,
14
“I did my best, and that was all I could do”—and you’ll mean it.
15
Simply put, your mind isn’t the only part of your body that
16
must become resilient; your heart should too. Your emotional re-
17
sponses are keys to resilience. Human beings tend to overesti-
18
mate fear because we are programmed for survival and our brain
19
and nervous system are sensitive to threats. Obstacles, setbacks,
20
and failures can hurt. They cause fear and a host of negatively
21
perceived reactions like shame, guilt, anger, frustration, and self-
22
doubt. Managing these emotions will enable you to take action.
23
It also allows you to adapt and take action to move forward with
24
heart.
25
This kind of emotion management is not just the key to re-
26
silience and execution. It’s the key to success in many areas of
27
life. What do you do to proactively understand and manage your
28
emotions? There are various ways to attend to your emotions
29
constructively, including those I just mentioned. Which of these
30
resonate for you?
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Minds and Hearts
187
●●
Exercise
1
●●
Talking to a mentor or friend
2
●●
Meditating
3
●●
Creating a plan
4
●●
Taking a step toward fixing it
5
●●
Identifying what you can control
6
●●
Compartmentalizing
7
●●
Removing yourself from the situation (when possible)
8 9 10 11
Resilience Pulse Check
12
On a scale from 1 to 10, how good are you at managing
13
your heartset? What productive actions do you take to
14
manage your emotions (for example, exercising, talking
15
with someone, journaling, meditating, or devising a plan)?
16
In hindsight, what else could you have done to manage
17
your emotions more constructively?
18 19 20
Or if you want a more visual lesson, stream the original Rocky.
21
After several sequels in which Sylvester Stallone’s Rocky Balboa
22
vanquishes every opponent in the end, it is sometimes hard to re-
23
member that in the original movie, Rocky loses. The film didn’t.
24
It won Best Picture and Best Screenplay for Stallone at the Os-
25
cars—but Rocky did.
26
But do you think of him as a loser? I don’t. To me, Rocky
27
is the ultimate demonstration of heartset. He has the emotional
28
endurance to make it to the end. Yes, he needed to demonstrate
29
mindset. He had to learn to adapt to Apollo, find his weakness,
30
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188 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
and attack it. What I remember, however, is not that mindset but
2
his heartset—his courage and ability to stay positive even when
3
his vision literally and figuratively was blurred and bloodied.
4
When knocked down 9 times, Rocky got up 10.
5
People who have this heartset will always feel successful in
6
their execution. They may not always win, but they never get
7
knocked out. Especially when they practice it day in and day out.
8 9
RESILIENCE CHECK
10
Questions for Self-Reflection
11 12 13 14 15 16
Think of a time when you faced a setback, obstacle, or failure. What was your initial reaction, and how did you manage your reaction to it? Did you use a growth mindset and heartset? If so, how? If not, and faced with the same situation again, what would you do differently?
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
18
2 3 4 5
Practicing and Preparing for Resilience
6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
J
15 ust months after buying my red Jeep when I was 16, I crashed
16
it. It was totally my fault. I couldn’t afford to put a stereo in
17
the Jeep, and since my vision involved listening to tunes with my
18
friends, I had put my boom box in the car. Alone in the car one
19
day, I reached down to change my cassette tape, took my eyes off
20
the road for just a few seconds, and as I looked up, I hit another
21
car. No one was injured. The other car wasn’t badly banged up.
22
Mine, not so much.
23
I sat by the side of the road on top of my Jeep just crying as
24
the police and tow truck came. My Jeep wasn’t totaled, but the
25
front looked like an accordion. I couldn’t afford the deductible
26
to repair it, so my dad, who knew a lot about self-service auto re-
27
pair from his first business, tried to stretch it out with a bulldozer.
28
He tied the back of the car to a tree and pulled on the front with
29
the bulldozer to un-squish it. He then hammered out the fender
30
189
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190 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
and made it look straight. It looked like . . . a Jeep that had been
2
in a car wreck and then fixed by a bulldozer, a hammer, and my
3
dad in our backyard.
4
When you’re 16-year-old girl, you care about how things
5
look. I tried to cover the ugliness up. I bought a “bra” for the
6
front to make it look snazzy. But what was I going to do? I had
7
crashed my car. It was my fault. This was long before anyone
8
talked about the dangers of distracted driving—a lesson I had
9
now learned on my own. I had two choices: wallow in pity and
10
start taking the bus to school, or suck it up, accept responsibility,
11
start driving again, and resolve never to drive distracted again.
12
I chose the latter.
13
More than 20 years later as I was writing this book, I found
14
myself stranded by the side of another road—this time the break-
15
down lane on the I-880 outside San Francisco. Only it wasn’t my
16
fault. My Uber had broken down on the way to the airport, and
17
we were already running late. As I felt the stress of the day rise
18
and my full schedule waiting for me upon my return to San Di-
19
ego, I started to feel overwhelmed. I had no idea what to do.
20
That’s when I remembered the story of my Jeep and how I
21
felt sitting on the hood, crying. And I realized I had two choices:
22
let the stress of a situation that I had no control over overwhelm
23
me or get out of the car and hitchhike.
24
I chose the latter.
25
I got out of the car in the breakdown lane and stood by the
26
side of the car thumbing for a ride in my work clothes. I have the
27
picture my Uber driver took to prove it! And with temperatures
28
approaching 90 degrees, the road shimmering from the heat, I
29
thought maybe someone might take pity on me.
30
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Prac ticing and Preparing for Resilience
191
“I am not going to bug you or rob you. I just need a lift to the
1
airport!” I screamed as if the people in the cars whizzing by could
2
hear me. No one stopped.
3
But if you look at my face in that picture? I’m smiling. I real-
4
ized I needed to make the best of my situation, and if I missed my
5
flight? Well, that’s life, right? No need to take it out on myself, my
6
Uber driver, or anyone else.
7
In both the Jeep and the Uber situations, I did what we all
8
must do when life gets in the way: practice resilience.
9 10 11
You must develop resilience
12
before you need it.
13 14
You don’t need resilience only when facing setbacks; it needs
15
to become an innate part of who you are. In the same way that
16
you don’t want your first fire drill to be when there’s a real fire,
17
resilience needs to be developed before a crisis or a failure oc-
18
curs. And just like pretty much everything else in life, practice
19
makes perfect. Think of resilience—your mindset and heartset—
20
as a muscle, and just like any muscle you want to build, you need
21
to exercise it in order to execute at the highest level. It must be-
22
come your reflex.
23
The good news is you can exercise it pretty much anywhere.
24
Opportunities present themselves not just in a big loss, a minicri-
25
sis at work, or a tough setback but everywhere. Even when you
26
think there is nothing you can do to make it better but smile.
27 28 29 30
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192 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
Using Your Mindset and Heartset Every Day
1 2 3 4
I love Guns N’ Roses, and when they reunited in 2016, I decided
5
to take 20 people from our leadership team to the show. I as-
6
sumed the seats we ordered would be together. Nope. We picked
7
them up at will-call, and all 20 were single tickets scattered
8
throughout the stadium. Welcome to the jungle . . . of disappoint-
9
ment.
10 11 12 13
We had a few choices in that moment. The first was to quit— just say c’est la vie and find something else fun to do. The second was to enjoy it individually but start a group chat so we could share the experience collectively.
14
Then we realized there was a third choice, one that allowed
15
us to practice a resilient mindset and get what we wanted on the
16
first place. We made it a game to get all 20 of us together. We
17
spent the next hour trying to change seats. We used our best ne-
18
gotiation skills until all 20 of us were sitting together. Our worst-
19
made plan turned into a best-laid moment of collective fun—all
20
because we took the opportunity to practice our resiliency. Para-
21
dise City!
22
Whether acting alone or as part of a team, resilience is noth-
23
ing without perseverance and self-belief. If we didn’t think we
24
could do what we did at the concert—make a seemingly impos-
25
sible challenge possible—then what would make us think we
26
were going to fare better when we wanted to achieve our biggest
27
dreams at home or our ambitious sales targets at work?
28
Adapting to challenges, dealing with stress, managing rejec-
29
tion, and handling or delivering bad news are things we all must
30
face and do well to execute at the highest level. Those are exactly
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Prac ticing and Preparing for Resilience
193
the times when you can practice resilience and gain the confi-
1
dence you need to keep pushing forward through the toughest
2
times and uncertainty. If you don’t believe you can succeed, why
3
should the people working with you?
4 5 6
To adapt to challenges and setbacks,
7
you must be willing to do
8
whatever it takes to move forward.
9 10
When I started my first business at my kitchen table, it was
11
no romance, but it was certainly more romantic than where we
12
ended up when I moved out of my kitchen and opened my first
13
official office. I didn’t have the money to set it up on my own,
14
so we literally worked in our friend’s company’s storage closet.
15
There were no windows, and it was meant to store printers and
16
office supplies. It had about enough room to squeeze in four
17
desks. There were two of us in there for a year.
18
When we started to grow, we interviewed people in the front
19
lobby, and when they were hired, made them sit in the closet too
20
until we moved. Was it uncomfortable? Of course! It was hot,
21
there were no windows, and we couldn’t move without bumping
22
into something or each other. But comfort is not the point when
23
practicing resilience. As I said in Trait 3, “Action,” we all like
24
the safety and comfort of easy choices, but that is not where the
25
magic happens. From those days in the storage closet, I learned
26
that if I’m not willing to be uncomfortable, I know I am not
27
growing. That’s why I make a habit of putting myself in the face
28
of rejection all the time. That’s how I grow, adjust, and build my
29
resilience to face the day-to-day stresses. My only goal since the
30
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194 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
storage closet days has been to make sure my team felt less dis-
2
comfort than I did but not be afraid of that discomfort.
3
When it comes to uncomfortable and stressful situations, the
4
best lesson in resilience comes from people on the front lines,
5
especially those who deal with customers. It’s a big reason
6
Southwest Airlines likes to recruit teachers for frontline positions—
7
they know how to be resilient from the stress of working with
8
kids in a classroom. It doesn’t matter that teachers don’t know
9
anything about the airline business. The difference between
10
teachers and other candidates is the teachers’ ability to deal with
11
the stress of the job while also dealing with cranky passengers
12
acting like difficult students.
13 14
In other words, the best teachers have usually made resilience a habit through everyday practice.
15
In The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg talks about how cre-
16
ating habits to deal with challenging situations is a cornerstone
17
for success. For example, a big part of Starbucks’ training for
18
its employees is understanding and anticipating that custom-
19
ers will be upset at some point. Something will go wrong, or the
20
wait will be endless for that latte, or someone will project his or
21
her bad day onto you. So the company trains employees how to
22
emotionally—and mentally—handle those situations by practic-
23
ing them. Like pilots in flight simulators learning to handle ex-
24
treme situations when lives are in the balance, Starbucks’ baristas
25
practice your disappointment with your Frappuccino. The more
26
they practice, the more they develop resilience, and the more they
27
have a mindset and heartset, which allows them to handle those
28
situations better, faster, or before they even happen.1
29
The baristas also learn to be aware and accept responsibility
30
if it is indeed their fault. In this way, Starbucks’ “teams” on field
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Prac ticing and Preparing for Resilience
195
behind the counter are no different from the best teams and play-
1
ers in sports. The best athletes spend hours practicing and train-
2
ing each day to improve their performance. Do you? Does your
3
team?
4 5 6 7
Resilience Pulse Check
8
For one week, put yourself in a position each day where
9
you have a high chance to get rejected and can practice
10
being resilient. Ideas include these:
11
• Making a call you’re worried about making
12
• Introducing yourself to someone new or striking up a
13
conversation with a stranger
14
• Sharing an opinion you believe in that might not be
15
the group consensus
16
• Doing anything out of your comfort zone
17 18
Keep a journal about each experience. At the end of
19
each day, answer these questions: What have you learned?
20
How could you perceive or handle things differently? What
21
mistake or misstep did you take, and what did you learn
22
from it? What will you do the next time you’re in the situ-
23
ation?
24 25 26
What are you doing to set yourself and your people up to
27
effectively adapt to challenges and setbacks in order to execute
28
better when the problems happen? Remember: Developing re-
29
silience in one area of your life develops resilience in all areas of
30
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196 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
your life. Being resilient in your personal life transfers to your
2
professional roles and vice versa. Your brain doesn’t distinguish
3
between these different areas of life.
4 5
Which means there is always a chance you will take something personally when handling rejection and failure. Don’t.
6
From applying for a job to trying to make a reservation to
7
not getting a response to a text or e-mail, we all face rejection
8
sometimes. Deal with it. Stop projecting what you feel on the ac-
9
tions of others. If it wasn’t an expressly personal attack, don’t
10
take it that way. Only by working to not take it personally when
11
you are rejected or you fail or you just disagree with something
12
or someone can you truly keep a balanced perspective about situ-
13
ations that challenge you.
14
And when it comes to the naysayers trying to bring you
15
down? Don’t let them. Naysayers, rejection, failure, uncomfort-
16
able situations . . . don’t just deal with them. Seek them out! I
17
make a habit of putting myself in the face of potential rejection
18
all the time. It is how I know I am pushing myself as hard as I
19
can and how I know that whatever happens, it will be OK. Does
20
it help that I now have the money to back whatever decision I
21
make? Of course! But I didn’t always have the money I have to-
22
day, and I have learned to never let money prevent me from prac-
23
ticing resilience—you have to save to prepare to be resilient.
24
My dad taught me that. After that startup failed and I was
25
broke at 23, he told me to start saving so I would eventually have
26
“F--- you” money and never be in a place to let someone else con-
27
trol my future again. If I was stuck in a bad deal or a job or a re-
28
lationship, I wouldn’t let money keep me from being resilient and
29
saying no or walking away. Most of us don’t do this in any part
30
of our lives. Countless times I’ve heard financial experts say you
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Prac ticing and Preparing for Resilience
197
should have at least six months of expenses saved for an emer-
1
gency. Yet according to a 2016 GOBankingRates survey, 35 per-
2
cent of all adults have less than $1,000 in their savings accounts,
3
and 34 percent have nothing.
2
4
Nothing.
5
Having savings is like having Wonder Woman’s shield for the
6
inevitable bad news that comes from pushing forward, taking
7
risks, and facing uncertainty. This is why acting to deliver bad
8
news is when your resilience is really tested. People usually have
9
a tough time dealing with bad news. But I find that people have
10
a harder time delivering it. They wait to tell it, try not to do it in
11
person, stumble around it, and often fail to get it all out.
12
That’s why I keep a deck of cards in my desk. I call them can-
13
dor cards. When I give people one, they know what is about to
14
happen. It’s a shield because what is coming is going to hurt, and
15
the card gives them a moment to prepare mentally and emotion-
16
ally and not feel blindsided. Handing them a card also forces me
17
to deliver the bad news with candor and kindness. I can’t hide.
18
I have set an expectation of what is to come, and I execute even
19
though it doesn’t feel good doing it.
20
While those cards are out, the person I am talking to can also
21
feel free to speak his or her mind as I speak mine and nothing we
22
say can be used against us. We get to the heart of the matter. The
23
cards are my way of saying to myself: You can handle it.
24
So can you! You can fail and still move forward.
25 26
Really! Fail Forward!
27
One of the wisest things anyone ever said to me was that it is ev-
29
ery bit as important to figure out what you don’t like as it is to
30
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28
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198 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
figure out what you do like. That’s, in part, why we make mis-
2
takes. We’re human! We’re complex emotional creatures who of-
3
ten have no idea what we want, how to get it, or if we’re doing
4
everything correctly.
5 6
One of the best ways we can learn and get those skills is through experiential failure.
7
Failure is not only a part of life but also a really valuable
8
tool for evolution and excellence when executing your vision. No
9
one, and I mean no one, gets through executing any challenge un-
10
scathed—unless they just play it too safe. Think of execution like
11
climbing the face of a mountain. No matter how experienced you
12
are, you always know that something might happen—you could
13
slip, your lead clip could fail—and you might fall. The point isn’t
14
that you will fall but how far and how prepared you are to ac-
15
cept it. This is why people learning to rock climb are told to make
16
themselves fall: They need to know it is a possibility and what it
17
feels like so they can get past the fear of its happening in less con-
18
trolled situations. So go ahead:
19 20 21 22 23 24
Get rejected. Fall flat on your face. Get the wrong seats at a concert. Fail every single day. Just fail forward.
25
Failing forward is a proven strategy—and not just for me.
26
Think back to Elon Musk’s story if you have any doubts. If
27
you’re not failing, you’re not growing, and you’re not trying
28
hard enough. You can’t expect to be perfect the first time you
29
do anything. You’re going to make mistakes. The key is to have
30
a growth mindset and heartset where those mistakes help you
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Prac ticing and Preparing for Resilience
199
grow, learn, and evolve. Like my IKEA nightmare? I truly believe
1
that yesterday’s “failure” is today’s lesson that will lead to tomor-
2
row’s success.
3
If you have a system of support and personal resilience, the
4
immediate feelings of despair will fade. Then you’ll realize, in
5
most cases, that failing was a good thing—even the best thing
6
that ever happened to you, your vision, and your business as you
7
execute.
8
Your team needs to know this too. When it comes to the
9
people working to help execute your vision, you always have to
10
ask yourself whether any lack of resilience they have is because
11
they are playing it safe because they don’t know how to handle
12
things. Do you let your employees practice and even fail when
13
taking chances? Do they constantly strive to know what they
14
don’t know? Why not let them do the same the things for a week
15
that I just asked you to do?
16
When you do, you learn one of the most important lessons in
17
parenting and business: let them fail.
18 19 20
Do you let others test their resilience?
21 22
It’s a real catch-22 for anyone trying to be resilient in execu-
23
tion. Until you have the experience, you can’t know how to han-
24
dle resilience, but you can’t have the experience until someone
25
gives you the opportunity and incentivizes (or at least won’t pun-
26
ish) you for trying to push forward. That’s probably the best part
27
about having entrepreneurial parents who refused to solve my
28
problems for me. I learned to be resilient and act to follow
29
my passion and achieve my vision.
30
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200 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
This experience informs my personal motto that I tell my
2
management team: Don’t blink. Don’t let the chaos around you
3
affect you. Have confidence in yourself that even if you fail, you
4
will be OK. Just keep moving forward. Your teams are watch-
5
ing you, waiting to see how you will react. Don’t blink. In fact,
6
it’s in these moments—when heartset is linked strongly to mind-
7
set, showing the strength and depth of your resilience— that your
8
leadership success is taken to an entirely new level.
9
Because when you do show resilience and grow as a leader, you
10
understand that you need those people—those relationships—
11
to help you execute and succeed.
12 13
RESILIENCE CHECK
14
Questions for Self-Reflection
15 16
Every entrepreneur, leader, and team on any field—be it sports or busi-
17
ness—knows that people need to practice to improve at anything. The
18
moment you get complacent about success or failure, you lose.
19
So how are you practicing being resilient?
20
What are you doing to set yourself up to effectively adapt to chal-
21
lenges and setbacks?
22
How well do you perform in stressful situations?
23
How do you handle rejection and deliver bad news?
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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Resilience—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
201
1 2
Resilience—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
3 4 5
RE S I LI E NCE: RE FLE C T I O N S A N D
6
MOV I NG FO R WA RD ●●
Failure and setbacks are inevitable parts of life and business.
●●
How we react to these bumps in the road has major implica-
7 8 9
tions for our efforts, so it is essential to know how to manage
10
them effectively. ●●
11
There is nothing more rewarding than finding success by
12
effectively adapting to challenge and setbacks! ●●
13
Manage your emotions: having a mindset that looks to find
14
the lessons and the positives in any situation is an essential
15
part of building your resilience. ●●
16
Teaching your team these same strategies for resilience will
17
lead to a more innovative and successful organization. ●●
18
Resilient people are always in demand. They are inspiring—
19
even stabilizing—influences when situations are intense or
20
in chaos and obstacles seem insurmountable. ●●
21
You need to develop a growth mindset in which creativity,
22
adaptation, and innovation can thrive. ●●
23
You need to develop a growth heartset so that you can cope
24
emotionally with setbacks, obstacles, and crises. ●●
25
You need to practice resilience so you can better work
26
through challenges, struggles, and failures when they
27
happen.
28 29 30
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202 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
●●
Be careful that your resilience doesn’t leave you course correcting to oblivion or blind you to different directions. Remember: There are times when continuing might not be practical no matter what you do, and failure is useful only if you learn from it and fail forward!
BE FO RE YO U G O: WHAT ’S T H E S C EN A R I O? This scenario is designed to help you think about everything you have learned in this section. Please take a few minutes to complete this exercise as best you can. I promise it will be worth it. If you get stuck or you are not sure about your answer, go back and review the section. Remember, there is no right or wrong answer here—this is just a way of applying your new knowledge about resilience. Often it is easier to give advice to someone else, when you’re not wrapped up in your own world, full of all its complexities. A friend shares with you that a source of major funding for a new project has backed out of a big deal he was counting on. He is frustrated and stressed out, and he is talking about giving up and moving on. What can you do to help him? How would you use the information you’ve learned about resilience to help him?
25 26 27 28 29 30
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1 2
T R A I T
3
5
4 5
RELATIONSHIPS
6
Having the Right People in Your Life
9
7 8 10
Success is best when it is shared.
11
— H OWA R D S C H U LT Z
12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
19
2 3 4 5
The Human Touch
6 7 8 9 10
T
11 he leadership consultant looked at me through the glass door
12
of my office. She had been talking to my team one-on-one,
13
and our eyes met before she spoke. It was clear she saw the ten-
14
sion in my face. I immediately knew she understood.
15
“Kimmo, you want to talk about what I found?”
16
“Mom, don’t call me Kimmo at the office.”
17
Unlike reports of helicopter parents of millennials showing
18
up in their children’s workplace to watch over or advocate for
19
their children (yes, it’s a thing), I have always welcomed my mom
20
at work. In fact, she’s usually there because I hired her. There’s
21
no nepotism involved. I hired her because my mom has and al-
22
ways will be my role model for understanding the importance
23
and value of relationships—both personally and professionally.
24
Even if she does occasionally call me Kimmo at work.
25
Mom didn’t graduate from college with a career path in
26
mind. Like my dad, she was an entrepreneur but cut from a self-
27
starter cloth: she worked well within companies. Her first job
28
was running a new occupational therapy department at a hospi-
29
tal in Portland, Oregon. The director took a big risk hiring her
30
205
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206 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
straight out of college to lead the program, but my mother was
2
ahead of the curve in healthcare with her understanding of what
3
we now know as a “holistic” approach to patient care. She had a
4
special gift when it came to working with patients with physical
5
and emotional disabilities.
6
After five years, my mom left her job to start our family, re-
7
turning to work when we were older. She decided not to go back
8
to the hospital and instead found work in private rehabilitation,
9
building on her hospital experience but with more of a focus on
10
individuals.
11
Then after dinner with a friend one night, a new vision blos-
12
somed: a holistic approach to business leadership. Her friend ran
13
his own business, and it had grown exponentially, putting him
14
in the position of leading and managing people for the first time.
15
And it was making him unhappy. My mom told me she could
16
hear the stress in his voice, and soon after he started complain-
17
ing about his health issues. He was blind to the direct correla-
18
tion it had to his business, but my mom could see it. When she
19
worked at the hospital, she listened to patients who had experi-
20
enced strokes, heart attacks, and depression talk about how hard
21
they were working for retirement and describe the stress it put on
22
them. They didn’t always see the connection either.
23
My mom listened to her friend’s difficulties so she could un-
24
derstand the whole picture. The next day she called him at work:
25
“I think I can help you.”
26
The following meeting defined my mom’s career for the next 30
27
years. Long before there was StrengthsFinder, my mom sat down
28
with her friend and asked him questions to discover his strengths,
29
passions, and natural abilities. She didn’t focus on what he was
30
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The Human Touch
207
doing or what he thought he should do. She wanted to know
1
what he loved first, not just what the business needed. She needed
2
to know his values. Thus, her first question that day, and for any
3
other future client she would work with, was as simple to ask as
4
it was difficult to answer (without reciting some line from the
5
company mission statement):
6 7
“What are your values and ‘nonnegotiables’—the things
8
you will not compromise on?”
9 10
Your values and nonnegotiables are those few things in life
11
that you will not make concessions for. They are guiding princi-
12
ples and beliefs that remain unchanged regardless of money, ur-
13
gency, or another person. Your values help you live an authentic
14
and balanced life—a life in which you are steadfast in what you
15
say and do. Your family, friends, employees, coworkers, and cus-
16
tomers need to know where you will not compromise.
17
For example, when my mom asks people what they value and
18
they say, “Family,” her next question is always, “How much of
19
your time do you spend with them?” The point isn’t to question
20
their answer—she doesn’t care what they chose—but to deter-
21
mine if their words are consistent with their actions. By exten-
22
sion, businesses that live by their values make it easy for their
23
employees to make strong choices when up against a tough deci-
24
sion because they know they will be supported 100 percent, no
25
questions asked—if their choices were anchored in the company
26
values.
27
From her work with that friend, my mom’s business evolved
28
into team development with a clear focus on vision, values,
29 30
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208 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
and open communication. She was relentless in her belief that
2
if people built on their strengths and interests to lead values-
3
driven companies, then they would stay healthy even when go-
4
ing through major changes and transformations. Staying healthy:
5
that was her goal in helping people love what they do every day
6
because it taps into their talents and helps businesses maximize
7
their potential.
8 9 10
Relationships Pulse Check
11
The following questions are designed to help you gain
12
greater awareness of and to get you to start thinking about
13
your relationships before continuing in this chapter:
14
• What are your values?
15
• What are your nonnegotiables?
16 17 18
Human. Potential.
19 20 21
We’re all human so we all have potential. How much of it re-
22
mains hidden or untapped in us? How much do we leave hidden
23
or untapped in others leading to “people problems”?
24
I know I was struggling with people problems—my own and
25
with others— when I started my first company. Yes, I had scaled
26
it from nothing to a million dollars in revenue to a million dollars
27
a month but . . . something was just not clicking. So I hired my
28
mom as my mentor and our leadership coach to work through
29
issues and the team dynamics that were difficult for me. But she
30
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The Human Touch
209
didn’t start with the team. She forced me first to talk about my
1
strengths and limitations to understand what I loved and how
2
my people could complement what I do, and then she turned the
3
spotlight on everyone else. And her work with me started with
4
that one question:
5
“What are your values and nonnegotiables?”
6
When I answered, “Relationships,” my mom questioned me
7
on how much time I spent caring for those relationships, whether
8
I treated people respectfully and with kindness, and whether those
9
relationships were prioritized in decisions I made. What I learned
10
that day stayed with me, and it’s why I brought mom back as we
11
scaled. We are and have always been a digital company in a rapidly
12
evolving industry. We pivot, adapt, and change every day. Days are
13
filled with uncertainty, and sometimes we don’t know beyond
14
just a gut feeling that what we are doing is right or will work. But
15
my mom showed me my North Star never changes, and that had
16
to be as true for me at work as it was in my personal life.
17
My values that inform my vision are how I deal with a seem-
18
ingly endless set of unknowns. My mom taught me how to ap-
19
proach every aspect of my life with generosity and a sense of
20
abundance rather than scarcity. I needed to have a win-win men-
21
tality that flowed into every iteration of my business as I strove to
22
execute and lift myself and everyone around me.
23
I value relationships above and beyond anything else—life-
24
long relationships that give and take, grow, and evolve. Those are
25
the people who know the person you were and the person you
26
are today. They have shared the experiences that helped define
27
who you are and who you will become. Relationships at home
28
and with my family. With friends and colleagues. With clients and
29 30
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210 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
other leaders. With the people who ask for advice or investment.
2
With the people who work with and for me—because great com-
3
panies must have great relationships too. And all of this comes
4
down those two words: human potential.
5
There’s no way I would be where I am today without all the
6
people who have helped and supported me along the way. Many
7
of those relationships continue to this day. By helping other
8
people and learning about the experiences that made them who
9
they are, those people in turn help me understand who I am and
10
to see the world differently and more broadly. Which is why I say,
11
I don’t invest in companies. I invest in people—in relationships.
12
I focus on people, cultivate them, learn from them, and grow be-
13
cause of them—both as a human being and as a business. The
14
person who acquired my first company was a relationship that I
15
had made a decade earlier when I was selling digital advertising
16
at the tech startup that went bankrupt. My best friend from col-
17
lege is one of my most trusted advisors at work.
18 19
Those who understand and are aware of
20
the value and the importance of
21
relationships know they can achieve much
22
more together than they can alone.
23 24 25
Building healthy, inspiring, and supportive relationships isn’t
26
just a cornerstone to execution. It’s an integral part of success in
27
all areas of life. Because you can’t do it alone. And to that point:
28
Who wants to? We are biologically wired to connect with others,
29
rely on each other, and work together. And of course, everything
30
is better shared.
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211
Great Relationships Aren’t a Luxury—They’re a Necessity
1 2 3
I know what I am going to say sounds obvious; everyone would
4
say they know relationships are important. Same way we know
5
sunscreen, sleep, and seatbelts are important, and yet here we
6
are, still getting sunburned, sleepy, and hurt in car accidents. My
7
mother helped me see how I got in my own way when it came to
8
valuing relationships in the workplace. What gets in your way?
9
I find that often people feel they can “do it on their own”—or
10
just find it difficult to include others probably because they feel
11
they can do things better, faster, or more thoroughly themselves.
12
Maybe you feel you don’t have the time or energy to train or
13
mentor someone. Maybe you don’t know where to find the right
14
people? Maybe you feel you aren’t naturally a “people person”
15
and find it hard to connect and listen. Does any of that sound like
16
you? Simply put, whatever is holding you back from being other-
17
directed, it’s an excuse. Because when it comes to execution, suc-
18
cess, and just being a happier, healthier, and kinder person, there
19
is no substitute for relationships: ●●
20
In 1918, the Carnegie Foundation found “human en-
21
gineering” was responsible for 85 percent of finan-
22
cial success while only 15 percent came from technical
23
1
●●
1260128520_perell_final.indb 211
knowledge.
24
In 1995, the Center for Creative Leadership released a
25
now-classic study on how an individual’s inability to
26
work well in a team and his or her poor interpersonal re-
27
lationships are two of the biggest reasons for failure (the
28
other being the inability to handle change, which we just
29
covered in Trait 4, “Resilience”).2
30
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212 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
●●
In 2015, Robert Waldinger, clinical professor of psychi-
2
atry at Harvard Medical School and the director of the
3
Harvard Study of Adult Development, revealed the re-
4
sult of the longest study of adult life ever done (75 years
5
tracking the lives of 724 men): “Good relationships keep
6
us happier and healthier. Period.”3
7 8
Even without the supporting data, we all know the impor-
9
tance of having strong relationships in our lives to help celebrate
10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23
our success and support us when we are feeling low. In my experience, there are three key elements that are critical to great relationships in execution: 1. Building a team and network around you, including leveraging the talents of others and seeking out win-win scenarios 2. Life audits to help you minimize the impact of negative relationships and maximize the positive ones 3. Maintaining great relationships, fostering them, investing in them, and giving them the time, care, and attention they deserve—no excuses Let’s take a look at the relationships in your life through these key elements.
24 25
R E L AT I O N S H I P S C H E C K
26
Questions for Self-Reflection
27 28
Think about the relationships in all parts of your life—past and
29
present—then answer these questions as a foundation for moving
30
forward:
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The Human Touch
213
• On a scale of 1 to 10, how good do you feel you are at fostering
1
relationships for mutual success? Why?
2
• On a scale of 1 to 10, how well do you distance yourself from
3
people who are unhelpful or a negative influence? What holds
4
you back from distancing yourself?
5
• On a scale of 1 to 10, how good are you at consciously attending
6
to your relationships and planning interactions to maintain
7
them? For example, do you reach out to others even when
8
there’s no immediate or compelling reason to do so?
9
• How often (always, sometimes, rarely, never) do you reach out
10
to others for help, input, or support? When do you reach out,
11
and when have you gotten help back? Why?
12 13
Now, turn the table on yourself. Ask five people whom you trust
14
to be honest with you where they think you rank on these same
15
questions!
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
20
2 3 4 5
Life Is a Team Sport
6 7 8 9 10
H
11 ave you ever watched one of those movies that have a scene
12
in a school cafeteria, kids sliding metal trays along the rails of
13
the line, stern-looking lunch lady in a hairnet slamming suspect-
14
looking food, smiles few and far between? I was the lunch lady.
15
Not literally, but that’s how I sometimes think of myself when I
16
think back to leading my first team in Hawaii before I hired my
17
mom to help me.
18
Before my mom, it was my way or the highway, and my busi-
19
ness suffered for it because the only one executing near his or her
20
potential was me.
21
I’d like to say I came by it honestly. I never really learned the
22
best way to run a team at the dot-com I worked at after college.
23
No one there mentored me or led by example. No one felt they
24
could take the time. I hired everyone who worked for me, but I
25
had no control over my fate or the team’s. No matter how many
26
ways I found to make money with the resources we had, the com-
27
pany hemorrhaged more cash. Whether I was good or bad as a
28
leader of my people was irrelevant; I still had to fire them all for
29
reasons beyond my control.
30 215
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216 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
When I started my first company, part of my vision was to
2
have control over my life. Unfortunately, I let that need to con-
3
trol everything extend beyond me and to my team. And it cost me
4
a lot. I’m not saying that what I said before was a lie: I did value
5
people—I love people. But I got caught in the “there’s my way
6
and the wrong way” trap: I wanted things to be done the way I
7
wanted them done. As a result, I ended up doing most of the
8
work myself.
9
I soon found myself overwhelmed, overworked, and unable
10
to scale quickly. Meanwhile, my team grew restless. With no in-
11
centive to do or go after anything other than what I told them to
12
do, they delivered the results they needed to. The work wasn’t
13
bad, but it was not what any of us wanted. All because they did
14
not own the work. I did. It wasn’t that they couldn’t do the work.
15
It’s that they couldn’t be themselves doing it!
16
I denied any vision of their own, stifled their passions, con-
17
trolled their actions, and left them nothing to be resilient about
18
because they weren’t pushing themselves to go above and beyond
19
and execute on the highest levels for themselves, let alone for me.
20
That’s why I called my mom in to help. How was I going to be
21
able to scale the company when I wanted to control everything?
22 23
Communicate Better
24 25 26 27
My mom spent time with my team and me to help us learn how to better communicate with each other and made sure
28
●●
We understood the outcomes I wanted.
29
●●
I let them feel like they had a stake in those outcomes
30
they executed on.
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Life Is a Team Sport
●●
217
I let them execute—pursue opportunities and deliver
1
results—in any way that was authentic to them as indi-
2
viduals.
3 4
The company soon took off. It was one of my most valuable
5
learning lessons as a leader, and I often think about how much
6
further we could have gone, how much faster we could have ex-
7
ecuted, and how many sleepless nights I would have gotten back
8
if I had understood this one rule sooner. It’s okay if you don’t
9
get from point A to point B my way. The highway is big enough.
10
There are plenty of other roads for all of us to get to the same
11
destination.
12 13 14
Be Accountable to Your People
15 16
Improving accountability involves developing relationships so
17
engagement can increase, which is one reason why relationships
18
are so essential to effective execution, especially on an organiza-
19
tional level.
20
I was fortunate to learn this lesson when I had to motivate
21
8 employees instead of 800 or I’d probably never have seen my
22
family (or my bed). One of the most interesting points on leading
23
teams and companies is that the challenges you had when you were
24
small are essentially the same ones you will have when you are
25
larger. The people problems I had at $1 million were the same
26
ones my leaders and managers had at $100 million.
27
People can fail to execute for a variety of reasons, and one
28
of the most important ones to be aware of is if they don’t have
29
the resources needed to complete the tasks at hand. One of
30
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218 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
the major resources in any business is access to other people—
2
internally and externally—who can help drive execution.
3
Whether it’s experience or insights from another team or even
4
another department like accounting or human resources, the
5
presence of other people, especially people with skills and per-
6
spectives different from yours, adds accountability across a com-
7
pany. See things through new eyes. Hear things through different
8
ears. Interpret problems with different skill sets.
9
This accountability is essential for execution in a world
10
where distraction is everywhere. Even “time to think” can be a
11
luxury, and speed is preferable if not mandatory. Yet, too many
12
people and departments are in silos from each other. We may have
13
open floor plans, but we have to learn to enable and value open
14
communication—up, down, and across the company where people
15
feel free and encouraged to speak up without repercussions.
16
A win-lose scenario is what is called a scarcity mentality: In
17
order for me to win, someone else must lose. That might be true
18
in sports, but in life and even in business, it’s better if our actions
19
serve an abundance mentality or win-win. Action without bigger
20
relationships—and those that are dismissive of others—is almost
21
always win-lose. Win-lose relationships are neither collaborative
22
nor sustainable.
23
Leaders who know the power of relationships understand
24
this. They have an ability to recognize the strengths and talents
25
of individuals, and they are guided by a win-win mentality, al-
26
ways on the lookout for areas of reciprocity and mutual success.
27
Because they know success is better shared and no one can go it
28
alone. They know relationships are more than just leveraging ev-
29
eryone’s time and talents to scale success. They are about give-
30
and-take and understanding that this paradigm creates success
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Life Is a Team Sport
219
for all, aligning everyone’s skills and goals to execute better and
1
achieve more. They lead by building healthy, inspiring, support-
2
ive relationships—the foundation for trust on any team.
3
You don’t have to be an extrovert to build a network of re-
4
lationships to do this! You just have to empower others to act in
5
your stead. That said, there are three key ways to build, connect,
6
and inspire the people who make up your network:
7 8
1. Get to know those around you.
9
2. Recognize and leverage differences.
10
3. Give yourself up for win-win scenarios.
11
Before we get into each of these steps to maximize your rela-
12
tionships, please know by “network,” I mean all of the people you
13
surround yourself with or connect with, not just those on your
14
team. Often people are great at connecting with their teams, but
15
miss opportunities to connect with those outside their teams, com-
16
pany, or even industry. Others may spend a lot of energy building
17
their external network, but fail to focus on their internal team.
18
Both are important.
19
That said, don’t let caring for and giving to others replace or
20
force you to lose track of caring for and giving to yourself. We all
21
run the risk of overusing our strengths to our detriment. Those
22
who lead with relationships must be careful that the investment
23
of their time and energy doesn’t drain them too much or distract
24
them from achieving their vision. Because you also have a rela-
25
tionship with yourself.
26
We should be invested in the success of everyone around us,
27
but we must be careful not to overidentify with other people’s
28
goals and sacrifice our own needs for the perceived good of our
29
relationships.
30
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220 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
1. Get to Know Those Around You
2
If you’re this deep in your execution evolution, fundamentally car-
3
ing about those around you and wanting to get to know them bet-
4
ter is the only way to build and scale your network and business.
5
When I say “getting to know people,” I mean taking a genu-
6
ine interest in them. You can’t fake passion, and you can’t fake
7
caring either. The easiest way to do this with sincerity is to take
8
the time to talk to those around you and find out what is impor-
9
tant to them. And the best way to do that is to share your stories
10
and ask questions.
11
The questions don’t even have to be personal to start. They
12
just can’t be transactional yes-or-no questions like, “Did you
13
have a good night?” or “How was your weekend?” But it’s even
14
better to ask questions that open people up like these:
15 16
●●
What motivates you?
17
●●
What inspires you?
18
●●
What are you passionate about?
19
●●
What keeps you up at night?
20
●●
Where do you see yourself in five years?
21
●●
How can I support you to get there?
22
I cannot emphasize enough the need to devote the time to ask
23
questions and initiate conversations.
24
People reveal their passions in how they speak, what they
25
value, what they spend their time doing, and, of course, whom
26
they hang out with. They want to share that. Let them. If you’re
27
in a cutthroat high-performance business and the expectation is
28
that you will perform constantly, then those performances are
29
driven by execution. Execution needs that passion, and as you
30
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Life Is a Team Sport
221
know, passion comes from a desire to suffer for what you are
1
doing.
2
Are your people willing to suffer for you?
3
You can understand if they are by asking those questions but
4
only if you actually listen to the answers. Really listen.
5
In fact, the two are related. We don’t take the time to ask
6
questions because we don’t have the time or patience to listen
7
to the answers—and even if we do, we rarely ask one follow-up
8
question. How do you think that makes someone else feel? No
9
wonder research shows that people who ask a question and then
10
follow up with another question that shows interest in the previ-
11
ous answer are seen as more likable than those who just talk. But
12
did you really need me or research to tell you that?
13 14 15
Time builds trust, and trust builds
16
great relationships.
17 18
If you find it hard to ask the right questions or ask them at
19
all, try just not talking. Watching and listening to people engage
20
with others reveals a lot too. Having this level of understand-
21
ing about those around you will enable you to communicate
22
with them better over time and inspire and motivate them more
23
effectively.
24
Investing in my people and their personal growth, self-
25
awareness, and development shows that I care, which in turn
26
makes them happier and more engaged at work—a key to building
27
trusting, intimate connections, communication, and mutual suc-
28
cess. In fact, a 2016 Gallup study cited strong work relationships
29 30
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222 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
as a leading reason for employee engagement, a factor associ-
2
ated with increased performance and success.1 The most engaged
3
companies have four times the success than the least en-
4
gaged companies.
5
Of course, you won’t have time to invest in everyone around
6
you! The key is to find those you know need you, who are in-
7
tegral to the success of the business, or whom you see a future
8
with and spend more time with them. One way I do this in busi-
9
ness is to focus spending my time with the five people who I be-
10
lieve will make the most impact on the company’s success. The
11
time I spend with them revolves around understanding their chal-
12
lenges, removing their roadblocks, and listening to and following
13
up with their ideas. I’m constantly looking for those individuals
14
who want to push the company forward.
15
Are there people you can think of now who need more time?
16
Whom you could better support in their efforts to contribute to
17
the team? Someone whose needs are directly aligned with your
18
skills or values? Then invest the time—and set up systems that let
19
others do the rest.
20
In other words: delegate!
21
One of the biggest hurdles to execution is delegating and
22
then giving up control. Over time, I have learned that everyone
23
who isn’t pathologically lazy, always covering their butts, or con-
24
stantly shirking responsibility is not nearly as good at delegation
25
as they could be—including me.
26
To help scale myself and my vision, I’ve integrated mentor-
27
ship and knowledge sharing into our culture. For example, we’ve
28
used a “Buddy” program to pair new hires with senior people.
29
This program ensures that each team member is engaged and
30
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Life Is a Team Sport
223
learning from start, and teaches them about the people, the
1
company, and our culture. We also have used an Ambassador
2
program—run by the employees. This enhances, spreads, and cul-
3
tivates the company culture and future leaders by providing ad-
4
ditional opportunities for learning, growth, and knowledge. It’s
5
wonderful to witness our employees teach and inspire each other
6
to take themselves and their careers to the next level.
7
But lest you think I use these programs and ask questions as
8
a way to deflect sharing anything about myself, just ask me! Or
9
rather, look around my offices. The walls are painted bright blue.
10
Which will look familiar if you have known me for a long time:
11
the bright blue is the same color as the blue polo shirts we wore
12
in our family photos growing up. It’s the same blue I have used as
13
my company logo since my first company, signifying how family-
14
oriented I wanted the company to be.
15
Although my company name changed with numerous acqui-
16
sitions, the blue has been a constant. It reminds me of that strong
17
foundation. The walls are an extension of me and my family—
18
a reflection of how I feel about being here. They are me sharing
19
part of my story and history. If I am going to be here and you are
20
going to be here, then we will be a family that shares a vision and
21
executes together, not just a company.
22 23 24 25
Relationships Pulse Check
26
What do you do to ask questions, share your story, and help
27
others share theirs?
28 29 30
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224 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
2. Recognize and Leverage Differences
2
In 2015, Google released data from its massive internal Project Ar-
3
istotle study on teamwork, and its results were published in the
4
New York Times. One line in the story caught my eye: “Success is
5
often built on experiences—like emotional interactions and com-
6
plicated conversations and discussions of who we want to be and
7
how our teammates make us feel—that can’t really be optimized.”2
8
We can talk and talk about data, efficiencies, and produc-
9
tivity when it comes to execution, but how we make others feel
10
when we execute is not a numbers game. We’re all unique, and
11
we need to treat each other that way—even in the office. This
12
isn’t about diversity per se but about treating every person as
13
an individual who can help you understand more about yourself
14
and others. Yes, including those differences brings big challenges,
15
but it also has huge benefits, and I’ve found that the benefits out-
16
weigh the challenges.
17
We all bring different strengths, talents, knowledge, and ex-
18
perience to the proverbial table, and I’ve found it incredibly im-
19
portant in my career to surround myself with people who have
20
what I don’t. For example, I am great with numbers. I see them,
21
get them, and understand them. However, I’m not as good in
22
dealing with process or reviewing anything with lots and lots of
23
pages and infinite detail like contracts or proposals. I get bored
24
and start thinking about something else. That’s why I made sure,
25
early on, to always have someone on my team who is fantastic
26
at this. In fact, not only is she good at it, she enjoys pouring over
27
the detail. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure? True in life,
28
true at work.
29
There are lots of great profiling tools out there like the Myers-
30
Briggs, StrengthsFinder, and DISC assessments to help you
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225
understand and leverage those different skills and strengths. But
1
don’t let these or any tools become a substitute for actual com-
2
munication. I’ve found that the more I understand about my
3
people through conversation, the more we can recognize, nur-
4
ture, bridge, and leverage differences to become more effective,
5
productive, successful—and, ultimately, happier.
6
But be careful. If you want to get the best out of your rela-
7
tionships when it comes to execution (and really anything), then
8
it’s not just about your willingness to listen, as we just discussed,
9
but your willingness to suspend judgment.
10
The Glenn Llopis Group surveyed more than 12,000 senior
11
executives and their employees at hundreds of companies from
12
the Fortune 10 down. They found the need to have a safe environ-
13
ment where no one judged was the number one thing employees
14
said they needed in order to act as their authentic selves at work.
15
Employees felt that without that safety, there was no incentive
16
to do more than they were told. By more than two to one, they
17
said that particular element in their work environment was more
18
important than feeling valued and respected or even trust and
19
transparency from their supervisor. Yet their supervisors thought
20
feeling valued and respected as well as trust and transparency
21
were the most important things. Only 12 percent of those super-
22
visors said a safe environment free from judgment was most im-
23
3
24
It was in mine. That’s what I didn’t say about what happened
25
in Hawaii when I tried to control everything. The ultimate prob-
26
lem was that I didn’t just make my people do it my way. I viewed
27
their way of doing things as inferior. As a result, my team felt de-
28
flated, judged, or criticized. Because any time they tried a dif-
29
ferent way that worked for them, I shot it down. What I didn’t
30
portant—a real disconnect that’s too common in business today.
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226 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
understand then was my vision wasn’t necessarily someone else’s.
2
They needed to buy into it to support it, but they also needed to
3
own part of it for themselves. They couldn’t do that around me.
4 5
How do you make people genuinely
6
feel safe to speak up, be themselves,
7
and express their feelings?
8 9 10
Today I am able to easily admit I do not have all the answers,
11
and I do not judge the differences of the people around me. I trust
12
my team to help me learn what I don’t know.
13
In the end, the best thing about valuing differences and let-
14
ting people be who they are is that they force you to put yourself
15
in new situations to form new relationships and test what you
16
know or don’t. You can’t keep telling the same stories and hear-
17
ing the same ones from people who look and act like you and
18
expect to hear something different. That leads only to confirma-
19
tion bias, which is deadly for execution. If everyone is thinking
20
the same way and looking for data to prove the same points, then
21
tunnel vision takes over and new possibilities become impossible.
22
All it takes is someone willing to see those possibilities, pursue
23
them, and execute to overtake you. You want your people to be
24
“intrapreneurs”—entrepreneurs in the service of the company’s
25
and your vision.
26
I want my people to be entrepreneurs and entrepreneurial, and
27
so should you. You want your people to challenge you and push
28
you. One way of thinking about things leads to one way of exe-
29
cuting things. You need to open yourself up to and listen to mul-
30
tiple stories. You then need to let the people telling those stories
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227
leverage their differences as strengths to benefit the company and
1
look for opportunities and ideas you may not have seen.
2
Even within a company that has more than 800 people, I
3
want all of them to be individuals and feel they have permission
4
to express their individuality. Everybody who comes to work
5
for me today comes to execute on our vision. Tell me when and
6
how you are going do something differently or how we might ap-
7
proach it from a different perspective, and I will listen. How else
8
will I see all the opportunities out there? I know from experience
9
that those opportunities are there, often just not in plain sight.
10
But if everyone is like me, I’ll never see anything but what I al-
11
ready see, just at scale.
12
Widening your vision with the perspective of others might
13
even help you discover more of that unknown human potential
14
in yourself and those around you. I believe one of the biggest fac-
15
tors in sowing seeds of doubt is underestimating your capabili-
16
ties. You think you can’t do something, therefore you can’t. You’d
17
be surprised how often this happens with even the most suc-
18
cessful and smartest people I know. I had the CEO of a company
19
I invested in call me and say, “Do you ever feel like you don’t
20
know what you are doing and you have all these people looking
21
at you for leadership but you doubt yourself because you lack the
22
experience?”
23
I said, “I feel like it all the time. But I don’t blink. I move for-
24 25
ward anyway. And if I can, then I am sure you can too.” We are too often limited by our own minds. Sometimes we
26
can overcome those limitations ourselves. Sometimes we need
27
others to help. Sometimes that doubt can mess with your head.
28
In fact, impostor syndrome refers to successful people who be-
29
lieve that they are not worthy of their success; they underestimate
30
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228 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
themselves and feel like frauds. Of course, anyone who feels that
2
way almost by definition can’t be an impostor, but the phenom-
3
enon is real.
4
It’s not only another reason why you need to celebrate small
5
successes and never give in to self-doubt but also a big reason
6
that people who succeed have surrounded themselves with suc-
7
cessful people who want their success to continue. At the very
8
least you should always, at any given time, have a mentor, be
9
mentoring someone else, and have a group of peers who are at
10
your level with whom to share resources, cross-references, and
11
gut checks.
12
Who is there for you?
13 14 15 16
Relationships Pulse Check
17
List the people you go to for advice and support. This might
18
be an open conversation with team members or with a
19
mentor who has experience where you need it.
20
I create fun groups of people and external partners
21
who work together on a journey with me for a particular
22
project. Take a look at the list. If it seems short or thin, make
23
a new list of people to turn to and do it.
24 25 26 27
3. Give Yourself up for Win-Win Scenarios
28
As I said before, I’m constantly looking for win-win situations—
29
areas of mutual benefit and success. In my opinion, you always
30
want to be giving. For example, when one of my companies
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Life Is a Team Sport
229
was running out of cash, we needed to secure a bridge loan. The
1
bridge loan was the only way that the company would be able to
2
have an opportunity of an exit, which we had worked for years
3
to see.
4
But our venture capitalists didn’t want to put more money
5
in, and I had already deferred my salary for a year. I believed in
6
the company and the team, but there was a very realistic possi-
7
bility we would go bankrupt. That meant not only people be-
8
ing unemployed but also everyone losing all the money we had
9
invested. So I loaned the company more money until we could
10
secure cash to continue operations—a multimillion-dollar bet.
11
Highly risky, but I knew in my gut it was the right decision for
12
me, the team, and our clients so we could execute on the plan we
13
had. If I hadn’t done it, the situation would’ve been a lose-lose
14
for everyone.
15
I did this knowing the risks, but I was confident I could exe-
16
cute the deal and secure the company’s future if I had more time.
17
While you may never be in the position of loaning millions of
18
dollars, the situation brings up an important caveat in giving:
19
you have to do it knowing your giving may not be reciprocated.
20
You need to be okay with the fact that many people won’t show
21
the same in return. Not everyone believes in give-and-take. Some
22
just take and leave you nothing to take back. But it’s important
23
to understand that an element of selflessness is integral to great
24
leadership.
25
I’m okay with this, and you should be too. Please, don’t give
26
because you think it’s going to be reciprocated. Do it because it’s
27
the right thing to do and you want to help people.
28
But when it comes to your team, I cannot stress enough
29
the importance of empowering them to act on your behalf and
30
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230 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
the company’s. I’ve struggled with this at times, failing to real-
2
ize that focusing on helping others is making sure I’m also on the
3
lookout for those who might be able to help or support me. Make
4
sure you have people that you can turn to for advice. Your rela-
5
tionships!
6
Creating a culture of execution is all about empowering
7
others to help you—to use their experiences to find those win-
8
wins you don’t have time to seek out. You don’t want people just
9
checking boxes, doing what they are told. You want to empower
10
them to figure out how you and your company can best execute
11
on the opportunities they see.
12 13
If your people shoot for the moon and miss
14
when executing, support them. If they check
15
the box and miss, fire them.
16 17 18
To do this means you must take more responsibility for execu-
19
tion on a global scale and less responsibility for executing strate-
20
gies and tactics. Execution on a grand scale is the job of the leader
21
first and foremost. As Roger L. Martin wrote in the Harvard
22
Business Review, “Execution is the act of parsing out responsibil-
23
ity for those choices, making sure people actually choose (instead
24
of waffling around in indecision).”4
25
Empowering your people to choose can be as simple as get-
26
ting them to trust that you will support them when they act and
27
not wait for the perfect moment (because it will never come). You
28
don’t need all the data. You just need to prioritize, have confi-
29
dence, know I have your back, and do it. Don’t get stuck worry-
30
ing about the uncertainty. The only thing that matters is that you
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Life Is a Team Sport
231
know you are following that North Star. The essence of effective
1
communication is trust. People need to know that what they say
2
will not be judged, criticized, or ridiculed. They know that their
3
ideas will be respected if not always agreed with.
4
There’s a difference between respect and agreement. When
5
people trust you, they will open up. When they don’t, they will
6
shut down.
7 8 R E L AT I O N S H I P S C H E C K
9
Questions for Self-Reflection
10
One of the first things I do when meeting new people or interviewing
12
potential new employees, CEOs, or entrepreneurs is ask them to tell me
13
about themselves in five minutes.
14
11
15
Try this get-to-know-you exercise yourself with two people you
16
don’t know over the next week:
17
• What are their passions, interests, dreams, and goals?
18
• What keeps them up at night?
19
• What are the strengths they would like to utilize more?
20
• How do they spend their leisure time?
21
When you’ve completed the exercise, reflect! What did you learn?
22
How did your increased understanding influence your interaction and
23
relationship?
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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1
21
2 3 4 5
Audit Your Life
6 7 8 9 10 11
R
12 ide your winners. Let them ride! Dump your losers. Cut them
13
loose!
14
Investors have heard this advice countless times—and most
15
research supports this position. Yet even the most prolific and
16
seasoned investors ignore it. They fear losing their profits when
17
shares are up, so they sell them; they hate losing money when
18
shares are down, so they hold them. Not because they think
19
things will turn around in time and the company is failing for-
20
ward. They just hate the idea of losing money.
21
Of course they know better. You should ride your winners as
22
long as you can—they’re winners and winners win. You should
23
dump your losers when prudence says quit—they’re losers. Yet so
24
many people don’t, and they not only take money off the table
25
by cashing in too soon but they also lose more money as the los-
26
ers keep tanking.
27 28
What do you do? You don’t have to have a stock portfolio to
29
understand. Answer these questions:
30 233
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234 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
●●
Have you ever held on to something that was worth less
2
than when you started in hopes that things would turn
3
around, only to find yourself deeper in the hole?
4
●●
Have you ever held onto something that was not worth
5
as much as you thought and hoped the value would in-
6
crease only to find the market for it—and thus the value
7
it once had—was gone?
8
●●
9
Have you ever refused to get rid of something everyone said was costing you—and you knew it—but you still
10
defended holding on to it?
11 12
Most of us—including me—can answer yes to at least one of
13
those questions. Now try this. Ask those same questions about the
14
people you surround yourself with personally and professionally:
15 16
●●
than when you started in hopes that those people would
17
turn around, only to find yourself deeper in the hole?
18 19
●●
crease only to find the value they once had was gone?
21 23 24
Have you ever held onto people who were not worth as much as you thought and hoped their value would in-
20 22
Have you ever held on to people who were worth less
●●
Have you ever refused to get rid of people everyone said were costing you—and you knew it—but you still defended holding on to them?
25
Does that make you uncomfortable? It should! But those
26
who master relationships as part of execution know they must
27
surround themselves with inspiring, uplifting people and stay
28
away from people and interactions that bring them down. Once
29
you’ve got your team around you, you’re leveraging talents, and
30
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Audit Your Life
235
you’re creating win-win situations, it’s time to make sure you are
1
continually assessing those people in your network.
2
I get it. It’s so hard to let go of things in our lives like stocks
3
or a ratty old college sweatshirt. Now imagine how hard it must
4
be to take the same advice about people. People we might still be
5
passionate about and still have emotional connections to. People
6
who once delivered for our business but not anymore. People
7
who maybe helped us through, saved us, made us see the light
8
once upon a time. But you must.
9
The most significant factors in your life are the people around
10
you—your relationships. If you change nothing else in your life
11
when it comes to execution than the people you spend your time
12
with, you will have increased your chances of success tenfold.
13
Which is why every year I don’t just take stock of the things
14
in my life. I take stock of the people I spend the most time with. I
15
arrange them into categories: those who lift me up and those who
16
bring me down. The people who radiate positivity and energize,
17
challenge, motivate, inspire, and support me? They’re my win-
18
ners! Those who ooze negativity and drain my energy? I would
19
never call them losers, but they aren’t positioning me to win. I
20
need to spend less time with them or even let them go for now if
21
not forever.
22
This process is what I call a life audit, and it is a huge key to
23
optimizing relationships to execute at the highest level.
24 25
Audit, Audit, Audit
26
I remember the first person I audited out of my life: a close
28
friend from college. We used to have the kind of wide-ranging
29
27
30
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236 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
conversations that always left me feeling invigorated. Sure we
2
talked about the problems we experienced in life and at work,
3
but we never got bogged down too long in the negative, and we
4
used the time to try to solve those problems.
5
Then, things changed.
6
At first, it was only the occasional comment about a kid’s
7
teacher, a client, or our waiter. But soon enough, she seemed to be
8
talking badly about other people all the time—people who were
9
our friends! Every discussion about every topic seemed to turn
10
negative. She rarely celebrated or led with the positive, if at all.
11
Our conversations became, in a word, toxic—draining and ex-
12
hausting, which in turn affected my mood at home or at work.
13
I tried to talk to my friend about it, keeping things positive and
14
asking if something was wrong, telling her that all our negative
15
conversations were becoming too much to bear.
16
“Is there something you aren’t telling me? Did something
17
happen that I should know about? Do you really feel this way? Is
18
there something I can do?”
19
I offered to listen and tried to steer the conversation toward
20
positive and future focused topics. Nothing worked. I struggled
21
with what to do. I wanted to be a good friend and support her,
22
but the negative impact it was having on me was too great.
23
So, I audited her out. I started distancing myself from her,
24
turning down invitations to get together. Could I have stuck
25
around longer? Perhaps. But I reminded myself of the old joke:
26
Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I do this! Well, don’t do that! I was
27
sure she was saying something negative about me to someone
28
else as a result of my audit, but I couldn’t worry about that. I had
29
tried in good faith to salvage what we once had. It was hard, and
30
yes, at first, I felt bad. It was not the easy choice. But this is where
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Audit Your Life
237
relationships need the power of resilience: you need to overcome
1
the emotional connections that can blind or bind you to this tox-
2
icity. We can’t always “fix” bad relationships, especially when the
3
other person doesn’t understand something needs fixing.
4
I resolved to let go of my friend to give myself more time and
5
energy for those in my life who were going where I was going,
6
who lifted me up, who shared positivity, and who saw possibili-
7
ties and hope even in hardship.
8
Some of my friends think it’s a little bit ruthless the way I toss
9
out the negative people from my life, but I don’t see it that way.
10
Because it’s not just about eliminating the negative. It’s about ac-
11
centuating the positive. Sure, there are limits to this concept and
12
places where complexities and challenges arise. In these areas, it’s
13
important to look at setting boundaries:
14 15
●●
●●
●●
1260128520_perell_final.indb 237
Familial relationships bring a specific set of complexities.
16
You might have parents who are very negative people and
17
who criticize you often, and you need to draw boundar-
18
ies and limit the time you spend with them. If you have
19
a toxic, abusive relationship with your parents, you may
20
need to distance them from your life completely.
21
You may have other family members who aren’t always
22
a plus, but you aren’t able to remove them from your life
23
because they are deeply connected to the people you love.
24
You just have to minimize the impact they have on you
25
directly.
26
You could have friends, once pluses, who are going
27
through extremely difficult times beyond their control,
28
people who are dealing with such life events as an illness,
29
the death of someone close to them, or even the loss of a
30
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238 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
job. They need you and sometimes your positivity to help
2
them through the negative. You need to keep them close.
3 4
●●
You can’t use life audits to eliminate workplace responsibilities with people who are negative.
5 6
Simply put, you need to set boundaries for yourself when do-
7
ing life audits. There is no way to eliminate all negativity from
8
your life. But by bringing in more positivity, you can mitigate the
9
effects of the negative parts you cannot control. The choice you
10
do have is whether to have a negative or positive attitude when
11
responding to others. Staying positive is a choice—not always an
12
easy one in some relationships but still a choice to not let the neg-
13
ativity affect you. Choose positivity. I know you can.
14 15
Accentuate the Positive and Eliminate the Negative
16 17 18 19
Life audits are a powerful process to remove the negative and
20
surround yourself with amazing people who allow you to step
21
into your own greatness. That’s how you hear the call of your
22
own potential and get to where you want to go. While this might
23
sound like the kind of clinical, right-brain madness a tech entre-
24
preneur might come up with, it’s actually a very heart-centered
25
process! Through it you can create a more productive, inspiring,
26
and emotionally fulfilling life.
27
That sounds nice, right? It’s all about being active, engaged,
28
and fully present in living the life you’ve got. We can’t always
29
control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond.
30
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Audit Your Life
239
To keep us having faith that whatever happens can be for the
1
best, that we are capable of amazing things, and in spite of what
2
we read on social media, that the world is full of love, generos-
3
ity, and opportunity, we need to focus on the right relationships.
4
That said, it is never easy to let people go. In fact, it is usually
5
hard and painful.
6
This is no less true at work, which is why we struggle with
7
firing people who may be winners in some ways but are doomed
8
by their negatives.
9
Most times, life audits are not black-and-white in terms of
10
who is a positive or negative. I wrestled with this when I first set the
11
process in motion at work. Running my first company in Hawaii,
12
I felt extremely close to the people around me. Many of these
13
people spent more time with me than they spent their families
14
and friends. They were relationships that touched me every day
15
and thus had the greatest positive and negative effects on me and
16
the business. I needed to be honest about who had which effect.
17
Or consider this scenario: The third hire at a small startup I
18
invested in was beloved for his personality by the two partners
19
who had hired him as their sales leader. His humor and relent-
20
less storytelling got them through many long nights. He never
21
sold much, but he helped them more than the bottom line, and
22
that was important. But now that the company was growing, the
23
very thing that had kept the partners going in the past was a dis-
24
traction to the people who were selling. He had become a drag on
25
the business, and despite efforts to reel him in and get him to fo-
26
cus, there was just no sign of change. They finally let him go. Un-
27
fortunately, they lost two talented people before they acted. They
28
weren’t so much lured away by better jobs or salary but by the
29 30
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1
inability of their leaders to address a situation that was affect-
2
ing the culture and morale—a situation they knew had to be ad-
3
dressed.
4
Those leaders were blinded and bound to this relationship
5
without any perspective for what it did for them, and thus they
6
did not audit when they needed to. They traded better execution
7
overall for blind loyalty to one person.
8
Now consider this scenario: A client had a killer sales
9
executive—a woman who hit her numbers and usually beyond
10
every month. Rarely did anyone equal or top her. Yet she had the
11
exact opposite effect of the sales leader at the company I just de-
12
scribed. While she built up the bottom line, she brought everyone
13
else down. Her contribution to the gross sales was beyond com-
14
pare, but her pessimistic behavior had a negative impact on the
15
entire organization. She affected morale and in turn overall sales.
16
She was a winner on the big board but toxic to those around
17
her—no one wanted to work with, for, or near her. Her sales
18
numbers in no way justified this, and after all intervention failed,
19
she was fired in less than a year.
20
Those leaders were initially blinded and bound to the relation-
21
ship for its gross numbers but without any perspective for what it
22
did to the company overall, and thus they waited too long to audit.
23
Of course you shouldn’t avoid difficult or challenging people
24
or work styles. Often these are the people from whom you can
25
learn or improve the most. I have tried to coach individuals who
26
have worked for me in the past on how to better work with chal-
27
lenging individuals. I have also used leadership coaches, facil-
28
itators, and training and feedback tools so that we can better
29
communicate as a team and improve as leaders, managers, co-
30
workers, and employees. But too much of anything—like all the
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traits in this book—can easily become a negative you need to at-
1
tend to in yourself or audit if it is in others.
2
If you are open and honest about what is not working and
3
if you continually check in with updates on those areas and it’s
4
still not working, you can let people go knowing you did all you
5
could. That knowledge diminishes feelings of guilt. Ask yourself:
6
“Did I do everything that was in my control to help them be suc-
7
cessful?” If so, time to part ways. You will still feel the loss, but
8
the rest was on them. You can be responsible only for what is in
9
your control. Then it is up to the individual to do the part in their
10
control.
11
I challenge you to look at this closely and eliminate this nega-
12
tivity from your life. Letting someone go is one of the most chal-
13
lenging parts of business and life, and it should never be easy or
14
taken lightly. But it’s a powerful process that has been one of
15
the keys to my success. Great people like surrounding themselves
16
with greatness—talented people who make them better and who
17
offer support, challenges, and feedback. Those are the key rela-
18
tionships, and they are not always the same year to year:
19
●●
20
Sometimes positive relationships take a turn, like that
21
sales leader, and you need to decide if you are going to
22
continue to invest in them or let them go. ●●
23
Sometimes negative people turn around, and you need to
24
see that. For example, I would love to welcome my first
25
audited friend back in my life if she became the person I
26
once knew again.
27
Think of it this way: you’re not rejecting people but reject-
28
ing their impact and behavior. The door can always be reopened
29
if things change.
30
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1 2
Don’t underestimate the potential of being with
3
someone who demands the very best of you.
4 5
Being with people who believe in you and provide the strength
6
and inspiration you need to make your dreams a reality is critical
7
so don’t be afraid of answering these questions:
8
●●
9
drain your energy, or bring you down? The more you sur-
10
round yourself with people who drain your energy or foster
11 12 13 14 15 16
How much time do you spend with people who deplete you,
doubt, the less you are called to step into your true potential. ●●
How much time do you spend with people who support you, increase your energy, and inspire you to action? The more you surround yourself with amazing people, the more you’re called to step into your greatness.
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29
Relationships Pulse Check Think life audits sound cold and clinical? Can’t stomach treating people this way? Chances are, you’re just making excuses and avoiding asking difficult questions. Try this exercise as new people enter your life and you look at them and the people already around you. Answer these questions: Who strengthens you, and who drains you? Who helps you succeed, and who highlights your failures? Does the idea of spending time with a person excite your spirit or take away your energy? Then, decide who is worth your time and who isn’t.
30
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243
Remember: Your time is your most valuable asset, so use what
1
you do have for the people who bring out the positive in you.
2
Relationships take time and energy to build, and they can there-
3
fore be difficult to let go of when necessary, especially if the emo-
4
tional bond is strong.
5
Let’s take a look at this for you right now and do a short life
6
audit together of the closest relationships in your life.
7 8
These Are Your Relationships; These Are Your Relationships on Audit
9
One of the most enduring rules for business and life comes from
12
Jim Rohn who stated that the people whom you spend the most
13
time with shape who you are: “You are the average of the five
14
people you spend the most time with.” I’ve heard everyone from
15
Tony Robbins (an acolyte of Rohn’s) to Tim Ferriss repeat this
16
advice, and I’m a big believer too.
17
10 11
18
Let’s do it for your top five: ●●
List the five people you spend the most time with.
●●
Look at the names—really think about your relationship
19 20 21
to them. ●●
22
Who helps you see the amazing world of possibilities?
23
Put a plus next to them. ●●
24
Who deflates your vision or adds negativity? Put a minus
25
next to them.
26 27
How many people have pluses? How many people have mi-
28
nuses? In my experience, the answer is generally pretty clear.
29
What if you have too much negative and not enough posi-
30
tive? Here are two tips:
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1
●●
Proactively seek new relationships.
2
●●
Associate with people who are different from you.
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Relationships Pulse Check Having trouble with giving out negatives? Answer these questions: Have you ever had to cut anyone out of your life? That was your first audit! What happened?
10 11 12
Proactively Seek New Relationships
13
Seek out those who inspire you at work and spend time with
14
them. Build a relationship with them apart from your direct job.
15
Send a note, ask them to coffee, or simply approach them at a
16
work event. Perhaps it’s a mentor who has knowledge and wis-
17
dom or just someone whom you respect. Perhaps it’s a colleague
18
or friend. Maybe you can attend industrywide events or take
19
classes on things that interest you to find new people. After all,
20
in order to surround yourself with inspiring people, you have to
21
find them to connect with them.
22 23
Associate with People Who Are Different from You
24
Find people who have succeeded where you have failed, and try
25
to learn from their journey. Chances are, you also have some-
26
thing to offer them. Remember what I said about differences:
27
while our instinct is to surround ourselves with people who are
28
similar to us, it’s also important to branch out and converse with
29
people who may have a different approach.
30
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245
That last point is essential to remember in our fractured po-
1
litical world in which we find it more and more difficult to associ-
2
ate with, let alone have deep bonds with, the people we disagree
3
with. Remember how I said listening only to people who live,
4
look, sound, and think the way you do in the workplace dulls in-
5
novation and execution? This is true in all parts of your life. You
6
want people to test your ideas and beliefs and challenge your as-
7
sumptions. The goal isn’t to just be successful when you execute.
8
The goal is to keep being successful—to keep knowing what you
9
don’t know and grow!
10 11 12
Please do not audit people out of your life simply
13
because you disagree with their points of view.
14 15 16
Don’t audit people who disagree with you. Engage them and
17
let them challenge you. It’s perhaps more important than ever that we truly take the
18
time to listen to understand—to make a concerted effort to get
19
to know people as individuals and see the power in surround-
20
ing ourselves with people who think and act differently than we
21
do. Not just for intellectual curiosity—though as an avid trav-
22
eler, I respect that—but for building bigger networks that can tap
23
growing markets domestically and globally.
24
Try at least to understand what others who disagree with you
25
are saying by actually engaging them. Surrounding ourselves only
26
with people who think and look like us only reaffirms what we
27
already know. That’s just another example of our keeping within
28
our existing confirmation bias. That doesn’t lead to growth in
29 30
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1
our personal lives. That doesn’t lead to seeing possibilities and
2
considering points of view that you might have never seen before.
3
Does that mean there will naturally be more conflict in those
4
teams and relationships, because of those differences? Sure! And
5
that is a good thing—as long as people are respectful and have
6
the skills to handle situations involving conflict. If you and your
7
team don’t, make sure you learn the tools necessary to have tough
8
conversations. Like an equation, minimizing differences just
9
maximizes dissatisfaction. You want to create a workplace that
10
inspires everyone to work authentically and to appreciate authen-
11
ticity in others. That requires collaboration and cooperation—
12
and tolerance—to address any conflicts head-on.
13 14
R E L AT I O N S H I P S C H E C K
15
Questions for Self-Reflection
16 17
This time, your reflection is not as much a reflection back as a challenge
18
moving forward. Expand your life audit to all aspects of your life. I chal-
19
lenge you to audit your life for at least 30 days.
20
Identify those people who support you, increase your energy, and
21
inspire you to action. Then, identify those people who bring you down,
22
deplete your energy, and are a negative influence. Reaffirm your con-
23
nection to the former, and audit the latter.
24
This doesn’t mean eliminate or ignore the naysayers from your life.
25
Just distance yourself from their negativity, and see what a positive im-
26
pact it has on how you execute.
27 28 29 30
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1
22
2 3 4 5
Sharing Your Success
6 7 8 9
“
T
10 hank you, Kim,” my colleague said, poking her head in the
11
conference room before my meeting started.
12
“You’re welcome! What’s up? Do you need me for some-
13 14
thing? You’re not part of this meeting, are you?” We both laughed. “Nothing’s up,” she said. “I just wanted to
15
say thank you for all you do and do for me and us here.” Then
16
she left. Just like that. The whole conversation took about 30 sec-
17
onds. Thirty seconds to give me one of the most moving experi-
18
ences I have ever had at work. No rhyme, no reason, no ulterior
19
motive, no “Well, now that you asked, there is something I need.”
20
Just a “thank you” to let me know she was grateful to have me
21
in her life.
22
There is always cause and effect in business and in life. What
23
you put out into the world comes back to you. Maybe you’ve
24
heard other versions of this line before. My friend likes to say,
25
“Karma is a boomerang.” A colleague always reminds me, “Do
26
good, and good will come for you.” Simple words backed by sim-
27
ple actions are very powerful.
28
My colleague’s act of gratitude had the power to make my day:
29
a simple act of kindness that made me smile through another
30
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248 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
meeting and still makes me smile today. Too many people create
2
relationships when they need them or to get something accom-
3
plished but let them go when they don’t. What happens then is
4
exactly what happens if you don’t service your car—change the
5
oil, rotate the tires, check all the parts—to ensure that it runs ef-
6
ficiently and smoothly: it breaks down. Think about what hap-
7
pens to your body if you stop exercising or working out: you lose
8
the physical, mental, and emotional benefits that you were get-
9
ting from exercising.
10
The same is true about relationships: They need care and at-
11
tention. Without regular maintenance, they can break down, too.
12
As Professor Robert Waldinger said about the epic 75-year Har-
13
vard study of happiness and the power of relationships he led to
14
completion: “Relationships are messy and they’re complicated,
15
and the hard work of tending to family and friends, it’s not sexy
16
or glamorous. It’s also lifelong. It never ends.”1
17
In other words, you have to invest in relationships—always.
18
I believe deeply what Paul Bloom, a clinical psychology pro-
19
fessor at Yale University, said about kindness: “The key to the
20
happy life, it seems, is the good life, a life with sustained rela-
21
tionships, challenging work, and connections to community.”2
22
For me, everything—every action and especially every relation-
23
ship—is a long-term play. It’s not just about getting a deal go-
24
ing or a project off the ground. It’s about the chance to build new
25
and lasting relationships. Often, this doesn’t help me in the short
26
term, but I know it will in the long term.
27
The long-term relationships are the ones who keep us go-
28
ing when our North Star seems dim—cloudy days and stressful
29
times. Every one of us needs at least one person (a spouse, a part-
30
ner, a best friend, or someone else) who supports us and is there
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249
for us unconditionally. Who won’t judge us, try to teach us a les-
1
son, or offer feedback unless we ask for it. Who will tell us it will
2
be okay and pull us back to thinking positively. Who will always
3
have our back, no questions asked.
4 5 6
Tips for Maintaining Relationships
7 8
In sustaining your connections to people, you must know what is
9
needed to maintain great relationships that are authentic to you
10
and make sure those actions are taken. Sometimes this is as easy as
11
remembering in all the craziness of life to perform acts of kindness
12
(like the woman who poked her head in the conference room)
13
that brighten your day and the day of those receiving them.
14
Here are other tactics I remind myself to do regularly with all
15
my relationships. Some of you will be better at these things than
16
others. Not all of them will work for you, and none of them are
17
easy to sustain in our time-crunched schedules. But gestures like
18
these go a long way to making people feel acknowledged, valued,
19
and nurtured. The key is finding a method that is authentic to
20
who you are and works for how you live:
21 22
●●
Send a handwritten note of thanks or congratulations.
23
●●
Remind people you’re thinking of them—and make time
24
to connect!
25
Don’t make excuses about how everyone is too busy to
26
be disturbed.
27
Acknowledge and show appreciation for people at every
28
opportunity.
29
Include others “at the table” to connect.
30
●●
●●
●●
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250 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
Send a Handwritten Note of Thanks or Congratulations
2
An e-mail is fine if you must, but paper is best—even a text, as
3
long as it is personal! But paper has a power that no other tech-
4
nology can match.
5 7
Remind People You’re Thinking of Them—and Make Time to Connect!
8
I always try to call people when I’m driving, especially when I
9
am on familiar roads or in an Uber so I’m not distracted. I know
10
some people use that time to continue working from the of-
11
fice, but I use that time to reconnect with people I love first and
12
foremost!
6
13
If you’re in a crowded space, send a personal text to recon-
14
nect, and let your friends and family know you are thinking of
15
them. Both my parents do this to me often (without the expecta-
16
tion that I will respond). It reminds me of the support and love
17
they have for me.
18 20
Don’t Make Excuses About How Everyone Is Too Busy to Be Disturbed
21
If they are real relationships, they will be thrilled to hear from
22
you. I know I am. Think of someone who connected with you re-
23
cently. How do you feel when you get an unexpected communi-
24
cation from them?
19
25
I got a call from a friend whom I’ve worked with on and off
26
for years. When I picked up, he said, “Hey, Kim, I only have 15
27
minutes, but I just wanted to call you and see how you are and
28
let you know I was thinking about you.” He had no other objec-
29
tive or purpose other than to connect. I love it when this happens.
30
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251
Even if I can’t have a conversation with them at that moment, it
1
means so much to hear from them.
2 3
Acknowledge People at Every Opportunity
4
This includes remembering birthdays and celebrating wins
5
and successes with others, as we covered in Trait 2, “Passion.”
6
If you’re not good at remembering important dates, make sure
7
they’re in your calendar.
8 9
But don’t wait for that big moment to connect. Just as we should celebrate small wins, recognition doesn’t need a trophy.
10
I’m not talking about the workplace equivalent of handing out
11
medals for participation that is ruining competition in kids’ sports.
12
I’m talking about what Ken Blanchard urged us to do years ago:
13
“Catch people doing something right.” Then, recognize them.
14 15
Include and Introduce Others at the Table
16
I’m always trying to figure out whom I can introduce to whom and
17
connect others who can support, help, or work with one another.
18
But while many of us are good at connecting people we know, few
19
of us think about creating those connections around the table—be
20
it dinner, drinks, or daily meetings—when we are there.
21
We tend to compartmentalize or silo people and teams
22
(“Why does accounting need to be at the inventory meeting?”
23
“Why does inventory need to be at the IT discussion?”) or situa-
24
tions (“Why would I invite him to meet them—they are from two
25
different parts of my life?”). The connections may seem incon-
26
gruous at first, but if the people share the same values and goals,
27
then being included feels great. Plus, a table is a powerful uniter
28
of people. It’s an invitation to “break bread” together and solve
29 30
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252 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
problems, create opportunities to build and grow the relation-
2
ships you already have, and create new ones.
3 4 5
Relationships Pulse Check
6
For one week, reach out proactively and positively to
7
one person every day. At the end of the week, ask your-
8
self, “How do I feel? How has reaching out to other people
9
changed my relationships?”
10 11 12
No, Seriously, Connect Now!
13 14
I challenge you right now to take a moment to think about what
15
ways you could reach out to others and stay better connected to
16
the people in your life. Not all of your relationships will change.
17
Some conversations might not end as positively as they started
18
(making the relationship ripe for an audit). But most will, and
19
I guarantee that you will feel the effect this has on you. Because
20
you need people—not only to scale your vision but also to cre-
21
ate new visions that lead to bigger and better things for everyone.
22
As I said, the traits of execution are interdependent and pro-
23
gressive. We’ve gone from vision to passion to action to resilience
24
to relationships, and if the progression continued you’d be back to
25
vision. Does that mean you would need to create a new vision?
26
Sometimes. But often it means an elevated version of the vision
27
you started with.
28
When I started my first company at that kitchen table in
29
Hawaii, I believed I would be successful, but I never thought I’d
30
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253
be where I am today. But as my vision and the company grew,
1
I learned just how much I valued the relationships I had that got
2
me to my first million and then the first sale of my company and
3
then the next. If I had gotten lost in my vision and tried to go it
4
alone—bringing on people only for the most mundane or tempo-
5
rary tasks and burning through them like firewood—I might not
6
be at that kitchen table still, but I’d surely not be the global CEO
7
and angel investor I am today.
8 9
At every point, I needed relationships—the ones that affected me and my business daily and the ones I maintained with no im-
10
mediate need beyond a desire to stay connected—to grow per-
11
sonally and professionally.
12
I’ve seen the opposite approach to relationships too often. I
13
had a choice to invest in two companies that on paper seemed to
14
be completely equal. Both were led by dynamic entrepreneurs,
15
clear in their vision, passionate about everything they did, delib-
16
erate in their actions, and steadfastly resilient. I decided to make
17
bets on each of them. One of the CEOs was a team player, and
18
years later his company had an IPO for over a billion dollars. The
19
other company ended up selling for a fraction of that because
20
the CEO never listened to anyone else.
21
It was his way or the highway.
22
There is nothing wrong with a visionary CEO leading the
23
charge, but when you get stuck in your vision and shut out rela-
24
tionships, you can easily get lost listening to yourself. That’s why
25
you need others around you. There is nothing wrong with asking
26
everyone their opinion on everything and ultimately doing what
27
you want to do, but you must listen—and not just to the answers
28
that you want to hear.
29 30
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254 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1
So I beg of you, when you reach out to people, make it about
2
them. Remember the power of asking questions. Listen to the
3
answers.
4
People who share their failures, successes, and experiences
5
with you are the ones who can help steer your vision to more suc-
6
cess. These are the relationships that balance visionaries who are
7
inclined to keep their hands on the wheel and control everything.
8
I’m not saying you won’t be successful if you do not listen to oth-
9
ers, but it will be a lonely existence, and the odds of scaling be-
10
yond your bedroom, garage, or kitchen table are slim.
11
I’ll say it one last time: I would not be where I am today with-
12
out all the people I’ve worked with, worked for, and have become
13
friends with. Great relationships don’t just help you execute.
14
They will also make you happier and healthier! Think of them as
15
your ultimate, crucial vitamins. What are you waiting for? Build
16
your network, leverage the talents of others, seek to understand
17
those around you, look for win-wins, surround yourself with in-
18
spiring people, and stay away from those who bring you down!
19
Good relationships aren’t a luxury. They are a necessity for
20
execution and success. And a rewarding, fulfilling, and wonder-
21
ful one at that.
22 23
R E L AT I O N S H I P S C H E C K
24
Questions for Self-Reflection
25 26
If you haven’t already, please take the time to carry out the actions and
27
complete the self-reflection exercises in this section.
28
What have you learned about relationships and execution?
29
What have you learned about yourself in this section?
30
What will you now do differently?
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Relationships—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
255
1 2
Relationships—Trait Summary and Real-Life Scenario
3 4 5
RE L AT I O NS HI P S: RE FLEC T I O N S A N D
6
MOV I NG FO R WA RD ●●
7
No one would be where they are today without the people
8
they’ve worked with, worked for, and have become friends
9
with. ●●
10
You must understand the importance of relationships in your
11
success by learning how to grow, inspire, and leverage your
12
network. ●●
13
Open yourself up to a variety of perspectives and people
14
building an authentic culture that encourages openness,
15
individuality, respect, and understanding, and a sense of
16
togetherness. ●●
17
Be careful to realize that the right culture is one in which
18
people feel safe to voice their opinions without fear of re-
19
crimination or disrespect. ●●
20
Are the people you spend the most time with lifting you up
21
or holding you down? ●●
22
Discover how to minimize the impact of negative relation-
23
ships and maximize the positive ones using life audits. ●●
24
Find out how to foster and maintain relationships to help you
25
reach your goals. ●●
26
Always remember: Good relationships aren’t a luxury for ex-
27
ecution. They are a necessity. And a rewarding, fulfilling, and
28
wonderful one at that. Share your success!
29 30
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256 THE EXECUTION FAC TOR
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19
BE FO RE YO U G O: WHAT ’S T H E S C EN A R I O? This scenario is designed to help you think about everything you have learned in this section. Please take a few minutes to complete this exercise as best you can. I promise it will be worth it. If you get stuck or you are not sure about your answer, go back and review the section. Remember, there is no right or wrong answer here—this is just a way of applying your new knowledge about relationships. Often it is easier to give advice to someone else, when you’re not wrapped up in your own world, full of all its complexities. Sarah is an entrepreneur, running a new clothing business. She’s been trying to get her new business off the ground for six months. She has six key employees, and the company is growing, but Sarah is really struggling. She’s working long hours. She’s lonely and burned out. How can you use what you’ve learned about relationships to help Sarah move forward and execute on her dream?
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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Conclusion: Creating an Execution Blueprint for Your Success
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
C
11 ongratulations! You’ve reached the starting point for execut-
12
ing your dreams. By now, you should have already taken the
13
first steps to mastering the five traits and turning them into habits
14
to reach the center point of the execution.
15
I just have one last question for you before I let you go:
16
How do you define success?
17
I define success as the number of lives I can positively influ-
18
ence. Since I think I can always influence more lives, I don’t think
19
I’ve reached my full success.
20
I believe in conscious capitalism and the idea that a business
21
is a vehicle to change the lives of your employees, your customers,
22
your communities, and the people you care about. I think that if
23
we are going to be fortunate enough to be successful, we need to
24
show that generosity and good fortune to those who don’t have
25
access to it. This is why my company volunteers thousands of
26
hours a year to the projects we care about. That’s how you create
27
something larger than yourself that can grow and multiply and
28
sustain itself long after you are gone.
29 30
That’s legacy. 257
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258
1
All that should extend to your personal life too. My grandma
2
always told me, “Those who have the least give the most.” Even if
3
you don’t have the least, operate from that principle.
4
My parents did, and I learned from their example. They
5
worked hard to raise three kids while running their own busi-
6
nesses, and while we never had a lot, they were committed to shar-
7
ing what they had. They were always looking for ways to help.
8
Remember the kitchen table at which I made the loan pitch and
9
where business talk happened every night? It was also a place
10
where everyone was invited to come and share a meal. No one
11
was turned away from my house. My parents even invited a refu-
12
gee couple from Cambodia to live in our family room on a pull-
13
out couch for six weeks. They didn’t speak English, so we all
14
communicated using body language, miming, and sound effects.
15
Approaching 40 years later, this couple is still a part of my
16
family’s life and community. The couple now has kids and grand-
17
kids. My parents’ generosity taught me by example how we all
18
have the power to change someone’s life for the better.
19
In the end, you can build, sell, and profit all you want. You
20
can have millions—billions! But dollars alone cannot be your
21
measure of success. Please measure success in the kindness and
22
generosity you show toward others and the hope you have for
23
them. As you master execution and find success, make sure you
24
define it compassionately.
25 26 27
Love may not be all we need, but the more we have in our hearts, the better our future will be. That’s your true legacy.
28 29 30
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Acknowledgments
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
I am deeply grateful to all the people who helped me achieve my
9
vision for this book from its first outlines to the finished manu-
10
script to the final book.
11
Thank you to . . .
12
My husband John, for your unconditional love, support, and
13
willingness to let me share the stories of our wonderful life to-
14
gether that are the heart of this book.
15 16
My twins Elle and John, for your superhero strength and for
17
reminding me every day that miracles do happen. My parents, for being there every step of the way to inspire
18
me, support me, and love me—and always encouraging me to
19
chase my dreams.
20 21
My twin sister Tracy, for being a great sounding board and
22
remembering the childhood stories I had forgotten. My brother Mark, for his endless support along the way.
23
Sarajane, for our lifelong friendship—we’ve come so far yet
24 25
things still stay the same.
26
Sherry, for reading every draft of this book, providing great
27
feedback, and making every chapter better. Amanda, for being with me personally and professionally ev-
28
ery step of the way for over 20 years—I am so grateful to have
29
you in my life.
30 259
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260 Acknowledgments
1
Liv, for helping me find my voice when I needed it most.
2
My wonderful friends, for your many years supporting my
3 4 5
relentless pursuit of my dreams—it means the world to me. My extended family, colleagues, and employees, for your continued support and encouragement.
6
All of my mentors, for your guidance throughout my career.
7
Chris, for encouraging me to always think bigger and for be-
8 9 10 11 12
ing my biggest cheerleader. Heidi and Darren, for getting this published and launched— and putting such a powerful team behind it. My incredible editorial director Donya and the entire team at McGraw-Hill, for producing such a terrific book.
13
The great leaders that I had an opportunity to work with and
14
for—and all the companies I have been fortunate to invest in—
15
for allowing me to learn from you.
16 17
And finally, for you and all my readers, I am so thankful for all of you—you are why I do this!
18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
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7/12/18 12:09 PM
Notes
1 2 3 4 5
Chapter 1
1. Robert Kaplan and David Norton, “The Office of Strategy Management,” Harvard Business Review, October 2005. 2. Chris Zook and James Allen, Profit from the Core, Harvard Business Press, Bain & Company, Boston, 2010. 3. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Sun-Protective Behavior Rates,” CDC.gov, https://www.cdc.gov/cancer/skin/statistics/behavior.htm, accessed December 1, 2017.
6
Chapter 2
10
7 8 9
1. John F. Kennedy, “We Choose to Go to the Moon,” speech, Rice University, Houston, Texas, September 12, 1962, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g25 G1M4EXrQ.
11 12
Chapter 3
1. Erin M. Shackell and Lionel G. Standing, “Mind Over Matter: Mental Training Increases Physical Strength,” North American Journal of Psychology, March 2007, pp. 189–200.
13
Chapter 4
15
14
1. Edwin Locke and P. Latham, “Building a Practically Useful Theory of Goal Setting and Task Motivation: A 35-Year Odyssey,” American Psychologist, October 2002. 2. David Kohl, paper presented at the New Century Farmer conference, Des Moines, Iowa, July 10, 2012.
16 17
Chapter 7
18
1. Armand Mensen, William Marshall, and Guilio Tononi, “EEG Differentiation Analysis and Stimulus Set Meaningfulness,” Frontiers in Psychology, October 2017, p. 8.
19 20
Chapter 8
1. Steve Crabtree, “Worldwide, 13% of Employees Are Engaged at Work,” Gallup, October 8, 2013, http://www.gallup.com/poll/165269/worldwide-employees -engaged-work.aspx. 2. Thomas Clausen, Danish National Research Centre for the Working Environment, “Feeling Emotionally Attached to Work Leads to Improved Well-Being,” Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine, October 20, 2015.
21 22 23 24
Chapter 11
1. J. Ferrari, J. Díaz-Morales, J. O’Callaghan, K. Diaz, and D. Argumedo, “Frequent Behavioral Delay Tendencies by Adults: International Prevalence Rates of Chronic Procrastination,” Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, vol. 38, no. 4 (July 2007), pp. 458–464. 2. Henri C. Schouwenburg, “Procrastinators and Fear of Failure: An Exploration of Reasons for Procrastination,” European Journal of Personality, vol. 6, no. 3 (September 1992), pp. 225–236.
25 26 27 28
Chapter 13
29
1. Innosight, “Creative Disruption Whips Through Corporate America,” 2016, https:// www.innosight.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/creative-destruction-whips -through-corporate-america_final2015.pdf.
30
261
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262 Notes
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19
Chapter 16
1. Allison Schrager, “Failed Entrepreneurs Find More Success the Second Time,” Bloomberg.com, July 28, 2014, https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles /2014-07-28/study-failed-entrepreneurs-find-success-the-second-time-around. 2. Sarah Bond and Dr. Gillian Shapiro, “Tough at the Top: New Rules of Resilience for Women’s Leadership Success,” November 2014, https://forbusinessake.files .wordpress.com/2014/11/tough_at_the_top.pdf. 3. Accenture, “Women Leaders and Resilience: Perspectives from the C-Suite,” March 2010, https://www.accenture.com/_acnmedia/Accenture/Conversion-Assets /DotCom/Documents/About-Accenture/PDF/1/Accenture-Womens-Research -Women-Leaders-and-Resilience3.pdf#zoom=50.
Chapter 17
1. Statistic Brain, “Startup Business Failure Rate by Industry,” May 5, 2017, https:// www.statisticbrain.com/startup-failure-by-industry/. 2. Fred Lambert, “Elon Musk Says He Will Perform Same Tasks as Tesla Workers Getting Injured in the Factory,” Electrek.com, June 2, 2017, https://electrek .co/2017/06/02/elon-musk-tesla-injury-factory/.
Chapter 18
1. Charles Duhhigg, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, Random House, New York, 2014, p. 129. 2. Cameron Huddleston, “More Than Half of Americans Have Less Than $1,000 in Savings in 2017,” September 12, 2017, https://www.gobankingrates.com/saving -money/half-americans-less-savings-2017/.
Chapter 19
1. Charles Riborg Mann, A Study of Engineering Education, Carnegie Foundation, 1918, pp. 106–107. 2. Center for Creative Leadership, Why Executives Derail: Perspectives Across Time and Culture, Academy of Management Executives, Briarcliff Manor, New York, 1995. 3. Robert Waldinger, “What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness,” TEDxBeaconStreet, November 2015, https://www.ted.com/talks /robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study _on_happiness.
Chapter 20
25
1. Jane Miller and Amy Adkins, “Women Want Close Relationships at Work,” Gallup Business Journal, December 14, 2016, http://news.gallup.com/businessjournal/199349/women-close-relationships-work.aspx. 2. Charles Duhigg, “What Google Learned from Its Quest to Build the Perfect Team,” New York Times Magazine, February 28, 2016, https://www.nytimes. com/2016/02/28/magazine/what-google-learned-from-its-quest-to-build-the -perfect-team.html. 3. Glenn Llopis Group, “The Leadership Identity Crisis,” http://www.glennllopis .com/research/the-leadership-identity-crisis/. 4. Roger L. Martin, “CEOs Should Stop Thinking That Execution Is Someone Else’s Job; It’s Theirs,” Harvard Business Review, November 21, 2017, https://hbr .org/2017/11/ceos-should-leave-strategy-to-their-team-and-save-their-focus-for -execution.
26
Chapter 22
20 21 22 23 24
27 28 29
1. Robert Waldinger, “What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness,” November 2015, https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what _makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study_on_happiness. 2. Paul Bloom, “The Long and Short of It,” NYTimes.com, September 15, 2009, https://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/15/the-long-and-the-short-of -it/#more-7915.
30
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Index
A
Abundance mentality, 218 Accenture surveys, 176 Accountability for action steps, 128 for relationships, 217–231 Acknowledgment, of people, 251 Acquisition, business, 185 Action, 19–20, 159 alignment of, 133–136, 137 busyness as, 133–136 disruption aiding, 139, 140 doubt overcome by, 149–157 empowerment aiding, 230 fear overcome by, 145–148 inaction compared to, 156–157 as journey, 141–142 necessities for, 155 without others, 137–141 without passion, 71 procrastination compared to, 122–124 pulse check for, 124, 137 rejection regarding, 118–119 scenario about, 160 self-reflection about, 120, 129, 143, 157–158 techniques for, 153–157 trial and error for, 115–116 vision aligned with, 132–136 Action steps accountability for, 128 additional, 127–128 difficult, 124 doubt surpassed by, 150 first, 114–120, 125 next, 126–127
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
obstacles of, 128 planning before, 127–129 resilience for, 193 resources for, 128–129 review process for, 129 time regarding, 128, 152 Adconion, 49 Advertising, digital, 5–6, 7, 9 Advice, 11 Alice in Wonderland, 30–31 Alignment, 133–136 Alzheimer’s, 81 Analysis paralysis, 115, 152, 156–157 Angel investor, 10 Apple, 116–117 Armstrong, Neil, 30 Arousal procrastinators, 122 Attitude, 238 Authenticity, 84, 207 Avoidant procrastinators, 122
B
Balance, 23–24 Bankruptcy, 2–3, 6 loan preventing, 229 of Pandora, 182 Best-case scenario, 157 Bezos, Jeff, 181 Birth, of twins, 166 Bloom, Paul, 248 Bond, Walter, 96–97 Bonding, 126–127 Boundaries, 237–238 Branding, company, 117 Burnout without celebration, 100–101 passion causing, 95–96
263
1260128520_perell_final.indb 263
7/12/18 12:09 PM
264 Index
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
Business, 38 disconnect in, 225 leadership, 206–207 life audit for, 239–241 vision as, 61–62 Busyness, 20, 133–136
C
Candor cards, 197 Capitalism, conscious, 257–258 Carnegie Foundation, 211 Caution signs of blind passion, 105 father as, 58–59, 116 Celebration burnout without, 100–101 productive passion fueled by, 96–102, 107 of success, 97–99, 100, 101 Center for Creative Leadership, 211 CEO doubt as, 227–228 growth heartset as, 185–186 hands-off, 138–139 lighthouse, 101–102 relationships of, 253 responsibility as, 171–172 turnaround, 44 Certainty, need for, 154 Changes adaptation with, 154, 209 toward negativity, 236 in relationships, 241 vision impacted by, 53 Chili, love of, 37–39, 40–41, 134–136 Clarity, of vision, 39–40 Cleaning, stables, 70 Cold War, 29 Comfort, 193–194 Comic book, 132 Communication, 216–217 Companies acquisitions, 185 approaches of, 253 branding of, 117 in closet, 193 as family, 223 growing, 8–9 individuality within, 227
1260128520_perell_final.indb 264
relationship investment for, 222 sale of, 10, 89–90, 166, 167–168 vision driving, 32 work environment at, 225–226 Competition, 116–117 Confirmation bias data cultivating, 139–140 differences avoiding, 226, 245–246 Conflict, 246 Control, 216–217 Conversations, 220–221
D
Darren, story of action alignment of, 134–136, 137 vision for, 37–39, 40–41 Data confirmation bias cultivated by, 139–140 40-70 Rule for, 154 lost, 171–172 Delegation, 138, 222–223 Determination, 3, 50 Difference, 11–12 appreciation of, 87–88 confirmation bias avoided with, 226, 245–246 conflict because, 246 of emotions, 86–87 intrapreneurs regarding, 226 leverage of, 224–228 between president and tracklayer, 43 in relationships, 224–228, 2 44–246 Distractions in Hawaii, 8 minimization of, 50, 53, 95 Dopamine, 148 Dot-com boom, 5 bubble burst, 6 emotions connected to, 77 Doubt action overcoming, 149–157 action steps surpassing, 150 as CEO, 227–228 as rationalization, 149 about scale, 152 techniques overcoming, 153–157
7/12/18 12:09 PM
Index 265
Dream, 12, 13–15 big, 47 life, 7, 10
E
E-mail, 184–185 Emotions connection with, 77 difference of, 86–87 management of, 78, 186–187 mastery of, 80, 148 passion driven by, 74–75, 79–80, 85 self-awareness of, 87 Employees empowerment of, 222–223 failure of, 199 injured, 184 passionate, 92, 100–101 Empowerment, 108 of employees, 222–223 from entrepreneur, 138–139 of team, 229–230 Energy, 235 Engagement, 9, 221–222 Enthusiasm, 83–84 Entrepreneurs empowerment from, 138–139 parents as, 2 role model of, 57–58 Evolution, of vision, 31, 32 Excuses procrastination as, 122–123 about relationships, 211, 250–251 Execution. See specific topics Experience, with failure, 199
F
Façade, 85 Fail forward, 20, 175–177, 197–200 Failures, 173 obsession over, 98 relationships regarding, 211 resilience through, 171–172, 175–177, 196, 197–200 risk of, 151 of server, 171–172 Family boundaries with, 237 companies as, 223 refugee, 258
1260128520_perell_final.indb 265
Father, 1–2 as caution sign, 58–59, 116 passion blinding, 103–104 as role model, 57–58 sympathy missing from, 77–78 Fear, 8, 186 action overcoming, 145–148 of rejection, 118–119 Feedback, 62–63 Feeling, visualization, 46 Flow, state of, 99–100 Flying, 145–147 Focus, 8–9, 30, 178 Food truck story, 37–39, 40–41, 134–136 Foresight, 46 40-70 Rule, 154–155 Friends college, 235–236 negativity regarding, 237–238 Future, 33
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
G
Gambling, 59 Generosity, 257–258 Glen Llopis Group surveys, 225 Glenn Llopis Group, 225 Goals growth after, 22, 23 visualization compared to, 47 GOBankingRates surveys, 197 Google, 224 Grandfather, 44, 125 Grandmother, 7, 105–106 Gratitude, 247, 249 Growth from failure, 198–199 after goals, 22, 23 heartset, 177, 182–188, 192–197 mindset, 177, 179–182, 192–197 risk ratio to, 157 Guilt, 241 Guns ‘N Roses, 192–193
H
Habits, 22 Hammock, 131 Harvard Business Review, 13 Hawaii, 7–9, 73 Headlines, 49, 89
7/12/18 12:09 PM
266 Index
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
Hearing, visualization, 46 Hidden Figures, 140 Hindsight, 46 Hitchhiking, 190–191 Horseback riding, 69–70 HuffPost, 180 Husband first step toward, 118–119 sacrifice of, 89–90, 94
I
Ideas, 61 Identity, 41–42 Imagery, 45 Impostor syndrome, 227–228 In vitro fertilization (IVF), 164–165 Inattentional blindness, 79 Inclusivity, 251–252 Individuality, 139, 227 Infection, 166 Insanity, 125–126 Insight, 46 Intrapreneurs, 139, 226 Investment banking, 4–5 40-70 Rule for, 154–155 questions checking, 234 in relationships, 220–223 IVF. See In vitro fertilization
J
Jedi, passion, 104 self-care for, 105–107 self-reflection for, 106, 108 Jeep Wrangler, 132–133, 189–190 Jennifer (surrogate), 165–166 Job, quitting, 115–116 Journey, 141–142
K
Kaizen, 119 Karate, 126–127 Kennedy, John F., 29–30, 44, 123, 140 KimPerell.com, 15 Kohl, David, 51–52
L
Las Vegas, 59, 101 Leaders execution scale of, 230 relationships built by, 218–219
1260128520_perell_final.indb 266
resilience of, 200 sales, 239 self-care for, 107 Leadership business, 206–207 of team, 215–217 Learning, 83 Legacy, 257–258 Lessons, 11–12 Life dream, 7, 10 work integration with, 91, 95, 142 Life audit, 212 for business, 239–241 delayed, 239–240 guilt about, 241 perspectives regarding, 245 questions for, 234 of relationships, 233–246 scenarios about, 239–240 Loan bankruptcy prevented by, 229 from grandmother, 7 from parents, 1, 3–4 Love of chili, 37–39, 40–41, 134–136 of horseback riding, 69–70 as legacy, 258 skill compared to, 72–73 Loyalty, 117, 240–241
M
Maintenance, 22 acknowledgment for, 251 congratulations note for, 250 inclusivity for, 251–252 methods for, 149–152 of relationships, 248–252 time made for, 250 Marriage, 9 Mastery, 13, 14 of emotions, 80, 148 of execution factor traits, 21–22, 24 of passion, 75, 80 Meaning, 25, 40–41 Mentality abundance, 218 growth heartset, 177, 182–188, 192–197
7/12/18 12:09 PM
Index 267
growth mindset, 177, 179–182, 192–197 scarcity, 218 Micro-visions, 32 Milestones, 23 Mindset, growth, 177, 179–182, 192–197 Molyneux, Phil, 93 Moon shot, 29–30 Mother, 2 business leadership vision of, 206–207 potential maximization of, 208–209 as relationship role model, 205 Mother-in-law, 81 Motivation, 1, 25, 82–83 Multimillionaire, 10 Musk, Elon, 183–185
N
NASA, 29, 44, 140, 184 National Basketball Association (NBA), 96–97 Naysayers, 73, 196 NBA. See National Basketball Association Negativity, 235 boundaries mitigating, 237–238 elimination of, 238–243 into toxicity, 236 News, bad, 197 Nonnegotiables, 207 North Star, 30–31
O
Obstacles, inevitable, 172 Onyema, story of, 145–146 Opportunities, 114, 151 in difficulty, 176 visibility of, 177–178 Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, 164–165
P
Pandora, 182–183 Parable, tracklayer, 42–44 Parents as entrepreneurs, 2 generosity of, 258
1260128520_perell_final.indb 267
loan from, 1, 3–4 in Portland, 57 Passion, 109 alignment of, 133–136 blind, 103–105 burnout caused by, 95–96 contagious, 71, 84 cultivation of, 91–92 emotions driving, 74–75, 79–80, 85 of employees, 92, 100–101 enthusiasm maintained by, 83–84 as inspiration, 84–85 learning influenced by, 83 love compared to, 72–73 mastery of, 75, 80 motivation stimulated by, 82–83 prioritization of, 93–96 productive, 96–102, 107 pulse check for, 74, 80, 86, 92, 100 scenario about, 110 self-belief driven by, 82 self-reflection about, 75–76, 88, 102, 106, 108 skill compared to, 41–42 for success, 81–85 suffering regarding, 18–19, 71–74 transparency of, 40 variation of, 86–88 vision fueled by, 73–74 Passion Jedi, 104–108 Perspectives, 138 life audit regarding, 245 relationships bringing, 224 resilience aided by, 153 Pilot training, 145–146 Politics, 245 Pool, swimming, 131–132 Portland, Oregon, 57 Positivity, 238–243 Practice of resilience, 177, 189–191 visualization as, 46, 48 Pregnancy IVF for, 164–165 surrogacy for, 165–166 worst-case scenario after, 167 Prioritization of celebration, 99 of passion, 93–96
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
7/12/18 12:09 PM
268 Index
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
Prioritization (cont’d) time, 50, 52–54 vision, 52–54, 124–125 Proactivity, 244 Procrastination action compared to, 122–124 arousal, 122 avoidant, 122 Progress, 133–136 Pulse check for action, 124, 137 for passion, 74, 80, 86, 92, 100 for relationships, 208, 223, 228, 242, 244, 252 for resilience, 181, 187, 195 for vision, 34, 51
Q
Questions for life audit, 234 for relationship building, 2 20–221
R
Railroad, 43 Reciprocity, 21, 229 Rejection, 118–119 Relationships, 21, 255 accountability for, 217–231 boundaries in, 237–238 of CEOs, 253 changes in, 241 communication aiding, 216–217 differences in, 224–228, 244–246 excuses about, 211, 250–251 during execution scale, 208–209, 216, 254 gratitude for, 247 investment in, 220–223 leaders building, 218–219 leadership regarding, 215–217 life audit of, 233–246 long-term, 248–249 maintenance of, 248–252 mother modeling, 205 necessity of, 211–212, 254 potential of, 208–210
1260128520_perell_final.indb 268
proactivity with, 244 pulse check for, 208, 223, 228, 242, 244, 252 scenario about, 228–231, 256 self-reflection about, 212–213, 231, 246, 254 for success, 210, 211, 228 time with, 242–243, 250 toxic, 236 transparency with, 94–95 trust for, 231 as value, 209–210 vision expanded by, 252–253 work-life integration with, 142 Resilience, 20, 201 through failures, 171–172, 175–177, 196, 197–200 in frontline positions, 194 from growth heartset, 182–188, 192–197 from growth mindset, 179–182, 192–197 perspectives aiding, 153 practice of, 177, 189–191 pulse check for, 181, 187, 195 scenario about, 202 self-reflection about, 169, 173, 178, 188, 200 for success, 176 from twins, 163–169 Risk of failure, 151 to growth ratio, 157 of inaction, 156–157 Rock bottom, 6–11 Rocky, 187–188 Rohn, Jim, 243 Role model, 57–58, 205
S
Sacrifice of husband, 89–90, 94 limits to, 104 Sales of companies, 10, 89–90, 166, 167–168 executive, 240 leader, 239 Savings, 196–197
7/12/18 12:09 PM
Index 269
Scale, execution doubt about, 152 of leaders, 230 relationships during, 208–209, 216, 254 Scarcity mentality, 218 Scenarios about action, 160 best-case, 157 about life audit, 239–240 about passion, 110 about relationships, 228–231, 256 about resilience, 202 about vision, 66 win-win, 228–231 worst-case, 155, 167 Self-awareness, 87 Self-belief, 48, 82 Self-care, 105–107, 219 Self-limitations, 47 Self-reflection, 25 about action, 120, 129, 143, 157–158 about passion, 75–76, 88, 102, 106, 108 about relationships, 212–213, 231, 246, 254 about resilience, 169, 173, 178, 188, 200 about vision, 35, 48, 55, 63–64 Sendak, Maurice, 54 Server failure, 171–172 Shark Tank, 62 Sight, 46 Skill, 14 love compared to, 72–73 passion compared to, 41–42 Southwest Airlines, 194 Speech, first public, 113–114, 150 Stability, 2 Stables, cleaning, 70 Starbucks, 194–195 Success, 17 celebration of, 97–99, 100, 101 definition of, 257, 258 passion for, 81–85 path to, 15–16, 115, 121 relationships for, 210, 211, 228 resilience for, 176 visualization of, 46
1260128520_perell_final.indb 269
Suffering, 18–19, 71–74 Sunscreen, 23 Surrogacy, 165–166 Surveys Accenture, 176 Glen Llopis Group, 225 GOBankingRates, 197 Sympathy, 77–78 Synergy, 142
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
T
Teachers, Southwest Airlines recruiting, 194 Team, 212, 219 control of, 216–217 empowerment of, 229–230 leadership of, 215–217 TechCrunch, 49 Tenacity, 3 Tesla, 183–184 Test, execution success, 15 Thinking, lost in, 60 Time/timing action steps frame for, 128, 152 perfect, 152 prioritization of, 50, 52–54 with relationships, 242–243, 250 Timing, 60–61 To-do list, 53 Toxicity, 236 Tracklayers, 43 Traits, execution factor, 18–20. See also Action; Passion; Relationships; Resilience; Vision balance of, 23–24 interdependent, 16–17 lead, 24 mastery of, 21–22, 24 Trust, 231 Twins, baby birth of, 166 resilience from, 163–169 survival of, 166–167
U
Uber, 190–191 Ultrasound, 166 Uncertainty, 42
7/12/18 12:09 PM
270 Index
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
V
Values, 207, 209–210 Vision, 2, 65 action aligned with, 132–136 alignment of, 133–136 for America, 29–30 as business, 61–62 caution for, 58–59 changes impacting, 53 for Darren, 37–39, 40–41 direction for, 31–33 elements of, 39–42 feedback gift for, 62–63 headline as, 49 idea abundance for, 61 identity congruency with, 41–42 micro, 32 as moon shot, 29–30 of mother, 206–207 as north star, 30–31 of others, 37–39 passion fueling, 73–74 prioritization of, 52–54, 124–125 pulse check for, 34, 51 reality of, 47–48 relationships expanding, 252–253 scenario about, 66
1260128520_perell_final.indb 270
self-reflection about, 35, 48, 55, 63–64 simplicity for, 34 thought for, 60 time for, 60–61 ultrasound as, 166 in writing, 51–52 Visualization, 69 goals compared to, 47 as practice, 46, 48 study of, 45
W
Wall Street Journal, 44 Walton, Sam, 40 Westergren, Tim, 182–183 Where the Wild Things Are (Sendak), 54 Win-win scenario, 228–231 Work environment, 225–226 ethics, 73–74 life integration with, 91, 95, 142 Worst-case scenario, 155, 167 Writing, 51–52
Y
Yahoo!, 5
7/12/18 12:09 PM
About the Author
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Kim Perell is an award-winning entre-
8
preneur, executive, angel investor, and
9
the CEO of Amobee, a global mar-
10
keting technology company with 21
11
offices worldwide. Amobee has been
12
recognized as one of Fortune maga-
13
zine’s Top 10 Places to Work in Mar-
14
keting and Advertising.
15
Laid off at 23 from an Internet startup, Perell began her jour-
16
ney as an entrepreneur from her kitchen table, becoming a multi-
17
millionaire by the time she was 30 and selling her last company
18
for $235 million.
19
Perell attributes her success to her ability to execute, and be-
20
lieves execution is what makes the difference between success
21
and failure. She is confident that execution is a skill that can be
22
mastered, and actively seeks to teach it to others. Her passion to
23
help young entrepreneurs achieve success has led to her being an
24
early-stage investor in over 70 startups, 14 of which have been
25
successfully acquired, and one that went public with a current
26
market valuation over $3 billion.
27
Perell has been named one of AdAge’s Marketing Technology
28
Trailblazers, Business Insider’s Most Powerful Women in Mobile
29
Advertising and is an Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year.
30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 271
7/12/18 12:09 PM
1
She has been profiled by CNN Money, the New York Times,
2
Forbes, and the Huffington Post.
3
Perell graduated magna cum laude from Pepperdine Univer-
4
sity with a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration. An
5
avid traveler (more than 60 countries visited), she and her hus-
6
band live in San Diego, with their twins, Elle and John and their
7
English Mastiff, Tank.
8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
1260128520_perell_final.indb 272
7/12/18 12:09 PM
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