Jealousy

JEALOUSY

–

A

DISEASE

Introduction We all are aware that eternal happiness and health prevail as long as a balance is maintained between the body and mind; this is as per the laws of nature, which is the ‘Will of God’. Physically when any external germ enters our body system, disease results; likewise, our hostile reaction towards other people, creates an environment that leads to an imbalance in the blood flow with chemical reactions in our minds, making us weak, impatient and unhappy. Thus, the environment around us gets disturbed. As a result, when we, with a chemically disturbed mind (dubious and deceitful thoughts) interact with a healthy and cheerful person, we turn that person into a sad, diseased and depressed individual. Our demeanor and behavior is such that it diffuses the illuminated mind and face of other person or we make an effort to create an unhealthy environment. Therefore, only those people who are bright and illuminated themselves (are true living beings of true divine knowledge, i.e. ‘will of God’) have the capacity to ignite even a sad and depressed person. On the other hand, people who are drooped down, make it more difficult for the other person whom they encounter. Hence, instead of developing themselves through self-encouragement (by putting the oil of hope and light in their lamps) these people rather drain away the oil (hope and light) from other glowing lamps (happy

person).

In addition, many times, while being hale and hearty and physically fit, we eat in excess or we eat unnecessary things inviting diseases and making ourselves ill. Similarly, while being in internal bliss and mental peace, we feed our inner being (conscience) with unnecessary news and views, thoughts and criticism, which make us restless and then contributes to our physically illness. All this does not happen on its own, rather it happens because of us not being aware of our state of mind, habit and thought, not being

aware

of

our

potential,

values

and

purpose

of

existence.

To understand the disease of jealousy, we need to clarify the difference between ‘habits’ and ‘nature’. ‘Habits’ are formed over the years and can be rectified. When our wishes and dreams are fulfilled, they shape up to become our habits. Since childhood, if we obtain whatever we wish and seek for, it becomes part of our disposition, which further

develops

into

a

habit.

‘Nature’ is related to the permanent laws of the nature, i.e. this ecological system that is functioning within constant laws defined by the creator, every action in this creation is governed by physical & chemical laws. Through gurbani, we understand that the word ‘nature’ as ‘kudrat’ / ‘power’, as explained in the following verse, page 3 of Guru Granth Sahib: (Kudrat

kavan

How

can

kahan

Your

Creative

vichar) Potency

be

described?

Meaning that we cannot describe the power of the Almighty. And further also as in the verse (ta What

on ki

page

keemat is

my

702 kahan

status

of na

to

Guru

jaee judge

kudrat your

Granth

Sahib,

kavan

hamari)

infinite

powers?

Thus we understand that we are nowhere near and have no strength vis-à-vis the powerful natural laws of the God. If we consider that we are drop in the ocean, then the drop is infinitesimally small as compared to the ocean and has no capacity to judge the various

dimensions

of

the

ocean.

Also when we usually talk in vernacular language like ‘meri ki panyan’, ‘mere vas ki hai’ & ‘mein ki karan joga haan’; this clearly shows that nothing is under my control and I cannot go against God’s laws which is again understood from the following verse, page 736

of

(mere

har

Guru

Granth

jeo

sab

Sahib ko

tere

: vas)

O my Dear Lord, everything is in your power, i.e. your laws of nature govern the function of (asaa

this jor

naahee

jae

kish

kar

hum

universe. saakeh

jio

bhavae

tivae

bukhas)

I have no power to change the laws of nature & I am humble and blessed by living and abiding

by

the

laws

of

your

nature.

The other meaning of nature (kudrat) is the creation of the universe itself. Whenever we are talking about the existence of the sun, stars, moon, the rain, the sea, the gardens with beautiful flowers, we are talking about the above said nature ‘kudrat’, the creation all

around. Interestingly our habits are not natural; i.e. there is very little and hairline difference between our ‘habits’ and ‘nature’. We have to understand this difference and use it to our benefit to develop ourselves qualitatively and improve our habits. A human being is considered a micro unit of God thereby showing that we all are an extended part of God, the creator, just like a drop of water in the ocean. A drop of water has all the qualities as that of the whole ocean, so if chemically analyzed, water will always be composed of two atoms of hydrogen and one atom of oxygen no matter where it is found or flows. Similarly when we search our inner self (conscience) we will realize that by being the micro unit of God we all have Godly attributes and qualities inside us and at our core we want to do good deeds. Many times because of our bad habits we feel as though we don’t want to do good deeds, but sometimes unconsciously & spontaneously we help others. Then later we realize how we performed a good deed although we never intended to do so. Sometimes we maintain feelings of hatred for some specific people and look forward for a chance to take revenge; yet when an opportunity comes we do not do anything bad for that person. We do not speak badly about him with low esteem words, nor abuse or insult him. We also express surprise at our naturally and spontaneously done good deed by saying, “I don’t know what happened to me at that moment. I never wanted to pardon him, yet somehow I did not say anything to him”. Now we have to understand, why we get this inner conscience feeling of ‘not to abuse our enemy even if we are given a chance to do so’. This is because of our inbuilt Godly attributes, which is called ‘nature’ or natural habit, i.e. since we the creation are born out of the creator & the creator is ‘divine and pure’, therefore we do harbor divine nature and characters

that

reflect

the

creator.

Being ignorant and unaware, many people dupe themselves by calling their own habits as nature, but we now know that habits are our own production and we can definitely control

them

(charan If

I

live

(satgur

as

explained

saran the

laws kot

in

gur of

nature, panda

Bhai

eak I

follow

Gurdaas painda

the

agae

characteristics hoi

Ji’s

bani:

jae of laet

chal) the

nature, hai)

The laws of nature guide me further ahead as for how to live creatively.

This verse of gurbani explains that it is for sure that the first step be initiated by the person himself/herself otherwise the doors of God’s grace and blessings remain closed. Now

the

question

stands,

how

do

we

change

our

habits?

To change our habits, we really have to tussle and struggle within ourselves and to become aware of which habit is bad or good and if it is necessary. We should analyze and decide in the beginning which of our habits can be used for our betterment and the welfare of others and which habits can be disastrous or harmful to others and us. We have to maintain and encourage our good habits and leave our bad ones. The only reason for our spontaneous wrong doings is that we are not conscious of the ill implications of our bad habit because of which both mental and physical decay begins and serves as a natural poison. This way we die slowly and slowly through slow poison given

by

our

own

self.

The main theme of this underwritten article is about “jealousy as a deadly mental disease”. People who get envious because they ignore bad habits are not aware of its harmful and evil effects on themselves and others. Then why is it the case that some ignore these bad habits? There can be many reasons but lets discuss here below the common

reasons

of

jealousy,

its

symptoms,

losses

and

then

remedies.

Characteristics of people who get jealous are, (reasons for jealousy) 1. Those who are devoid of self-respect (self-esteem). 2. Those who have some inferiority complex in any corner of their mind. 3. Those who think they have less money and materialistic things than others. 4. Those who think that God is more gracious on others and happiness does not stay with them. 5. Those who are unsuccessful due to their own drawbacks but doubt on the success of others. 6. Those who profess that their doings are right while others are wrong. 7. Those who keep nurturing their false ego. 8. Those who are ignorant of the natural law of the system that behind anybody’s success there is an endless and ceaseless effort of days / nights.

9. Those who do not know that God is impartial. 10. Those who identify themselves as “Aapas ko deeragh kar jaane auran koi lag maat”, which means that those people who only consider themselves and their achievements as great and achievements of others as most trivial. 11. Those who neither want to learn anything nor want to change themselves because they think that they know everything 12. Those who are not aware that God’s Law prevails the same everywhere and that God helps those who help themselves. 13. Those who do not know that “ Jeha beeje so loone” (as you sow, so shall you reap) which means that our successes and failures are the result of our own deeds.

When a third person comes in between a cordial relationship of two people, then one of the

two

becomes

jealous

of

the

third

new

person.

Furthermore in order to obtain acceptance in society, some people whether they know how to do anything constructive or not, keep on collecting news, develop jealousy and do many other ill acts for and about other people and then narrate them to other people with great interest. With the passing of time, this becomes part of their habit and the worm of jealousy makes them do this futile work meticulously. Their mind remains restless and they pass on this contagious disease to others by continuously giving/feeding negative news and making others sick and restless as well. People who think they are most religious or people who want to be known as most religious suffer most from this disease of jealousy. At religious places, if someone excels in doing better service, reciting religious hymns or doing better religious rituals, it serves as fuel to their innate burning feeling of jealousy. Even religious preachers and interpreters have not been able to prevent themselves from this disease. As a result, they only try to justify themselves as best while condemning other preachers as God opponents and sinners instead of inspiring people towards God and His qualities. Because of the above-said reasons or some other inferiority complex inherited in us, these germs of jealousy enter within ourselves and dwell in our mind. Gradually, these

germs disease our mind and cement our habit permanently towards jealousy. Hence we sicken

our

mind,

body

and

soul

(conscience)

in

the

long

run.

Sometimes, under the influence of the disease of jealousy, if two people are conversing with each other in our absence, we think that they are talking ill or condemning us. Similarly, if two people are quiet, we think that they stopped talking after seeing me. During the above two conditions, the deadly germ of jealousy makes us restless and we do not realize that our suffering is because of our own inferiority complex. We should ignore any conversation where we are being criticized wrongfully and unnecessarily. If possible, we should go away from that place. But alas! We put in more effort to listen to our criticism than we do to listen to our praises. As a result of this faultfinding, the harmful germ of our temperament perturbs us. This causes friction in our minds towards those people and unfortunately, we nurture and sustain feelings of hatred towards them. Symptoms

of

Jealousy

Let us recognize some symptoms of this deadly disease of “jealousy”. Those who suffer from this ailment of jealousy have frowns on their faces and their face gets sunken. They become irritable, cunning and inculcate bad habits of twisting all facts and conversations. Such people even keep praying to God to cause harm to their enemies. They always wish and yearn for Divinely punishment, materialistic loss and fatalities in the homes of their so-called foes. Such infliction and imposition of losses on their enemies

gives

solace

to

them.

However, such damaging feelings, prayers, wishes and hate-filled thoughts in the core of their hearts instead of giving them solace, always keep them agitated and restless. Their inner being and conscience gets heated to several thousand degrees causing them to suffer the fever of animosity. There is no doubt that a physical temperature above 108 degrees can cause death to a human being. But ironically, hate-related illnesses that keep one’s inner temperature always elevated to several thousands degree on the thermometer of jealousy, do not cause a quick death. Just as “Bin simran jo jeevan balnaa sarap jaisay arjaaree”, these people by virtue of their own envious habits live long life like that of a snake and die while secreting the slow poison of hatred. Such people do not know that while slandering others, instead of nurturing their own heart with love and compassion, they feed it with deadly chemicals like malice and aspersion. They

also lose their respect in the eyes of those listeners among whom they continuously make derogatory and slanderous remarks about other people. Those listeners realize that such people are malicious by habit and by feeding on criticism and hatred, may even be causing aspersions on them in their absence at some other place while being among

some

other

listeners.

us analyze the losses that one has to face when being engulfed with jealousy. Looking at material possessions and the wealth of others, we wish to possess them at the earliest under the influence of jealousy. However, we do not realize that while in a race to get those things and also continuously slandering others, we would always be emotionally and physically perturbed and would never attain peace and tranquility of our mind. Sometimes under the influence of this disease, we make slanderous remarks about others and also plan and pray for their downfall and loss. However, we do not realize that our downfall and debacle had started for sure even before others, as the germs of this ailment enter our mind. Whether our vicious plans and suggestions adversely affect other people or not, we definitely suffer mentally much before the other because the germs of jealousy affect our habits. Because of this hatred, we always make enemies, inculcate feelings of revenge and make malicious plans to harm and destroy others, which bear only losses for us both in the start and in the long run. The mental condition of such jealous people remains polluted; their conscience becomes weaker day by day as they start forgetting to do well for others. They do not develop qualities like sharing with others, showing kindness and doing good for all humanity. Moreover,

they

cannot

do

anything

creative.

Finally let us study some of the remedies of this disease. If we want mental peace and tranquility, then we should start controlling our bad temperament of jealousy rather than abetting and fueling it. We must endeavor to save ourselves from this poison, and then these feelings of hatred and avenging on others will dissipate and disappear. There is a divine rule, that in our mind we can possess only one thing at one time, which is, either Godly attributes or combustible feelings of jealousy and animosity. This is explained

as

(Fareedaa

buray

on daa

page bhalaa

1381 kar

of gusaa

Guru mun

Granth na

Sahib,

handhaa-ay)

Fareed tells in first person, answer evil with goodness; do not fill your mind with anger

(dayhee

rog

na

lag-ee

palai

sabh

kichh

paa-ay)

Your body shall not suffer from any disease, and you shall obtain eternal bliss in everything. And

also

(Fareedaa

on

page

man

1381

maidaan

of

Guru

kar

Granth

to-ay

Sahib,

tibay

laahe)

Fareed, flatten out your mind; smooth out the hills and valleys by plowing out all the evil thoughts (Agae

of mool

discrimination na

aavsi

and

dojak

jealousy,

sandhi

bhai)

Hereafter, the fires of hell shall not even approach you for the rest of your life. Hence, we have to see who has to be housed in our inner being and mind. To permanently get rid us off this disease of jealously, we not only have to forget our past sorrows and discomforts but also have to strive to get them eradicated totally from our hearts, forever. To prevent the origin of malicious feelings towards others, we should contain our desires, wishes, and expectations and limit our needs for materialistic things by emancipating ourselves from the shackles of materialism. A contented person while possessing solace and mental equilibrium neither gets into the blind race for obtaining wealth nor condemns other people ardently. We should also hold our temperaments from falling in the pits and valleys of complaints, sarcasm and condemnations. We should neither remember our insults and criticism nor expect any thanks in return, though it may be due to us. As explained in the following verse on page 274 of Guru Granth

Sahib,

(Karam Performing

karat good

deeds,

hovai he

does

nihkaram) not

seek

rewards.

We have to inculcate thoughts of selfless deeds without expecting any benefit or gratitude. If we want to curtail these germs from sickening our mind and body, we should not be bothered about unsubstantiated or unjustified slandering and criticism being imposed on us and should continue to live a righteous life. But if we have shortfalls and are being condemned, then instead of hitting back or envying our so-called foes, we should rather work on uprooting and controlling our bad habits. In this way, our

slanderer’s claims would be unfounded; we would not be perturbed by the disease of jealousy and would be able to attain mental peace, stability and equipoise. Our experience of inculcating qualities in life will augment and bolster, thereby our mind will never be in commotion and we will never be under the influence of jealousy and will never develop the habit of defaming or criticism others. This is explained as on page 633 of (nah

Guru nindiaa

Granth

nah

ustat

jaa

kai

Sahib,

lobh

moh

abhimana)

One who is not swayed by either slander or praise, nor affected by greed, attachment or pride

is

really

blessed

eternally.

Making enemies and becoming jealous of others are very deadly diseases that no doctor has a cure for. If we keep ourselves busy in our work and inculcate good habits and temperaments, then we will get no time towards jealousy, hatred, avenging and slandering. If we get or find time to indulge in these bad temperaments, then it is really unfortunate

for

us

and

it

is

the

worst

form

of

punishment

to

us.

There is a good saying that, ‘Lokee aapne dukhaan toin itne dukhee nahin, jitne irkhaa kaaran doojeyan de sukhaan toin’, meaning people are not unhappy because of their own miseries but much more due to jealousy they have with the riches and comforts of others. We should indulge ourselves and keep ourselves so busy in improving ourselves, cleansing our soul, shunning our bad manners and increasing our qualities that we should not find any moment to indulge in the habit of slandering and fault-finding, as explained

on

(bhaee This (gobind

page

12

prapat human milan

of

Guru

manukh

body

has ki

Sahib,

daehoria)

been aeh

Granth

given taeri

to

you

bariah)

This is your chance to meet the Lord of the Universe, i.e. every moment of this life is vital and

important

to

be

qualitatively

elevated.

It means that our life is very precious and we should use each and every moment in knowing about God and Godly attributes by discussing and implementing divine qualities

rather than whiling it away in discussing bad qualities/habits about other people. This is explained (rasna

on japae

page na

1361

of

naam

Guru til

til

Granth

Sahib,

kar

katiae)

The tongue, not the physical one but in reference to the mind & the thought process, which does not chant the Naam (not chanting physically but by qualitative elevation) ought

to

be

cut

bit

by

bit

This means that when we speak words of criticism, complaints, discrimination and ignorance, we are hypothetically cutting our tongue into small pieces and literally wasting our life-span, though we have been ordained only to recognize, praise and adopt the divine

qualities.

Now that we have become aware of the habit of this jealousy disease, let us evaluate and probe ourselves and prick our conscience while sitting alone and ask it the following questions. Let us Search our Inner Self 1. Do I get jealous on someone’s success? 2. Do I get into a race of obtaining wealth by looking at wealth and other valuable possessions of others? 3. Do I have a complaining habit towards God and wish that he may/might be more kind to make me rich for enjoying all luxuries of life? 4. Do I wish to help others for their betterment or do I pray for their deceleration? 5. Do I ever derive pleasure on loss, slandering, fall and lowering of prestige of my enemy? 6. Do I forgive the person who has caused harm to me or do I intend to avenge on him by defaming him somehow or other? 7. Do I even exaggerate small mistakes made by others? 8. Do I form bad opinion about people only by hearing what others say about them? 9. Do I have a helping nature to find solutions of others’ problems or do I desire to spread news and shortcomings of others after gathering the same?

Conclusion In the end, through this article, we come to this conclusion that we get into jealousy disease by virtue of our own habits only. Even if we just start recognizing it, the germs of this disease will eventually vanish from our inner self and our slandering habit will gradually and automatically be controlled. Only prayers and continuous recitation of scriptures to show off to others and not work on the inner self will not help us to eradicate this disease. Instead, we have to control our habit to obtain the nectar (Amrit). Hence, we and only we have to move forward towards becoming immune to this disease so that our body and soul (conscience) gets purified and thus, disease-free in this life itself. As explained on page 1382 of Guru Granth Sahib, (aap savaraen mae milae, mae milia sukh hoie ) ”If you reform yourself qualitatively, you shall meet me, and thus you shall be at peace." Thus, we have to check these germs of jealousy in the clinical laboratory of our 'conscience' and make sure that these germs do not pollute and weaken our soul, nature and behavior like the diseases of sugar and cholesterol pollute and weaken our body. By just becoming aware and recognizing this disease, we will get free from it and our soul and body will become healthier. Our depressed, dejected and pale faces will glow up and we will have a shining gold like face body and mind and our eyes will radiate care and concern for others. Bhupinder Singh The Living Treasure