It Suits Her

IT SUITS HER By William E. Spear

Two Plus Plus Productions LLC Clinton, New Jersey www.TwoPlusPlus.com [email protected]

IT SUITS HER Is dedicated to the many Friends, colleagues, and associates at Kohl’s in Flemington, New Jersey.

Your great humor and creativity are exceeded only by the Depth and breadth of your humanity.

Please accept IT SUITS HER in appreciation of the Laughter we’ve shared.

With warm personal regards and thanks,

William E. Spear August 2009

i

It Suits Her Summary Maxie Hills is a recovering alcoholic rushing to an audition but needs his suit from the tailoring shop. Celia Court despises her job at Smart Styles and will be fired if she doesn’t close on time. He’s desperate to get his suit to reclaim his acting career and she needs her job as a means for a future she’s only hoped only for. When their lives collide, will they land in circumstances that suits either of them?

Characters (in Order of Speaking) Celia Court:

Assistant Manager of Smart Styles tailoring shop. Hates her job but needs the paycheck to finish college.

Clarkson:

Owner of Smart Styles tailoring shop where Celia Court works and Argosy Hills’ suit is being tailored.

Maxie Hills:

Movie star, recovering alcoholic. Costarred in THE TERMINUS 30 years ago and is making a comeback bid.

Tony:

Director of play SECOND CHANCES of which Maxie is bidding for his comeback.

Nick:

Waiter in an Italian restaurant.

Mrs. Court:

Ceel’s estranged mother.

Mr. Court:

Ceel’s estranged father.

Agnes:

Maxie’s estranged wife.

1

It Suits Her

1

Beat 1.

Introduction to Celia and Clarkson

2

SFX:

CEL PHONE RINGS TWICE.

3

CELIA:

(WHISPERS: RUSHED) Hello. . . . I can only talk

4

for a moment. . . . No, I’ll be there later . . .

5

We don’t close the shop until nine. . . . I

6

can’t, Mr. Clarkson’ll hear me.

7

CLARKSON: (OFF MIC: BELLOWS) Miss Court.

8

CELIA:

9

CLARKSON: (ON MIC: BITE CUE) I might what, Miss Court?

10

CELIA:

I have to go. Mr. Clarkson might . . .

(GRASPING FOR A RESPONSE) You might want me to do something important?

11

Beat 2.

12

The conflict

13

CLARKSON: Were you talking on your cel phone again?

14

CELIA:

(HURRIEDLY AND NERVOUSLY) No, sir. Definitely

15

not. In fact, I was just saying to myself what a

16

brilliant to-do list you provided and I . . .

17

CLARKSON: (BITE CUE: WITH EMPHASIS) Miss Court, were you talking on your cel phone again?

18 19

CELIA:

My friends call me Ceel.

20

CLARKSON: (SNAPS AT HER) Miss Court.

21

CELIA:

22

CLARKSON: Were you on your cel phone?

23

CELIA:

(MEEKLY) Yes, Mr. Clarkson.

Yes, but . . .

2

It Suits Her 24

CLARKSON: You leave me no choice but . . . Beat 3.

25 26

CELIA:

A glimmer of hope, fabricated

(BITE CUE: DESPERATELY) I had an important

27

reason, Mr. Clarkson.

28

CLARKSON: What reason was that?

29

CELIA:

30

CLARKSON: Well, . . .

31

CELIA:

32

CLARKSON: (PERKS UP) My wife called on your cel phone?

33

CELIA:

I, you see, there was . . .

. . . Uh, Mrs. Clarkson called, and . . .

Yes . . . She wanted to make sure you were still coming home early like you talked about.

34 35

CLARKSON: I don’t remember talking . . .

36

CELIA:

She was really adamant that I remind you and

37

(ANXIOUSLY) look at the time. You have to get

38

home.

39

CLARKSON: Who will close the store?

40

CELIA:

41

CLARKSON: We were going to discuss you talking on your phone.

42 43

I’m on that.

CELIA:

There’s no time now. You have to go. Call me later. On my cel.

44 45

CLARKSON: Allright but close the store right after I leave.

46

CELIA:

Hurry, sir.

3

It Suits Her 47

CLARKSON: (GOING OFF MIC) I’m hurrying. Good night Miss Court.

48

Beat 4.

49

She makes plans for the evening

50

SFX:

CEL PHONE RINGS TWICE.

51

CELIA:

Hello? . . . No, he’s gone; I can talk. . . . It

52

sounds like a great party. I’ll be there when I

53

finish. . . . No, I can’t stay late, I’m opening

54

the shop tomorrow. . . . You sound angry. . . .

55

But I need this job. I don’t have a father taking

56

me to Singapore for vacation. . . . Whatever, I’m

57

late closing the shop and have to go. Goodbye.

58

(PAUSE: TO AUDIENCE) I’ll be happy if I don’t

59

talk to another guy tonight. Beat 5.

60

Introduction to Argosy “Maxie” Hills

61

MAXIE:

(SLIGHTLY WINDED) Just made it.

62

CELIA:

So much for no more guys.

63

MAXIE:

Excuse me?

64

CELIA:

We’re closed.

65

MAXIE:

My suit’s in here.

66

CELIA:

You’ll have to come back in the morning.

67

MAXIE:

I have an appointment tonight.

68

CELIA:

Like I said, we’re closed.

69

MAXIE:

This is the earliest I could get here.

4

It Suits Her 70

CELIA:

Which is exactly two minutes after closing. Good night.

71

Beat 6.

72 73

MAXIE:

Maxie’s bluff

I happen to be a close friend of the owner of this establishment.

74 75

CELIA:

Really? You know Mr., uh, Higgins?

76

MAXIE:

We go back many years. I helped him start the business.

77 78

CELIA:

You helped Mr. Higgins start Fit Rite tailors?

79

MAXIE:

Yes, and good old Higgie said Fit Rite would always be open for me.

80 81

CELIA:

Well, any friend of good old Higgie gets my best customer service.

82 83

MAXIE:

That’s better.

84

CELIA:

NOT! In the first place, the owner is Jack

85

Clarkson and not good old Higgie. In the second

86

place, the shop is named Smart Styles not Fit

87

Rite. And in the third place, good night. Beat 7.

88 89

MAXIE:

91

(REGROUPS) Wait just one moment. I am Argosy Hills.

90

CELIA:

“I am Argosy Hills”

Who’s Argosy Jones?

5

It Suits Her 92

MAXIE:

tonight – for an audition in a stage play.

93 94

Hills. Argosy Hills and I require my suit –

CELIA:

I am Celia Court and I require you to leave – now – so I may keep my job.

95 96

MAXIE:

I am not leaving without my suit.

97

CELIA:

Yes you are or I’ll call the police. Beat 8.

98

I am Argosy Hills - reiterated

99

MAXIE:

Listen, young lady, I am Argosy Hills . . .

100

CELIA:

(BITE CUE) I’ve still never heard of Argosy Jones.

101 102

MAIXE:

Hills, Hills, Hills. My name is Argosy Hills.

103

CELIA:

You’ve already said that.

104

MAXIE:

I’ve been acting in films for thirty years. Beat 9.

105 106

CELIA:

Maxie’s backstory

I watched a lot of movies growing up. My parents

107

and I saw a million of them and I don’t remember

108

your name.

109

MAXIE:

(REFLECTING) I was big. Bigger than . . .

110

SFX:

CEL PHONE RINGS TWICE.

111

CEEL:

Hold on. (TO CALLER) No, I can’t talk now. Goodbye. (TO MAXIE) Go ahead, Mr. Hills.

112 113 114

MAXIE:

As I was saying, I was bigger than big. I costarred with the all the giants – Tommie Royster,

6

It Suits Her 115

Gina Broyles, and Pamela Fenster. I worked for

116

legends like Van Hoffman, Tony Marks, and Jackson

117

Squires. I turned down scripts from Olympic

118

Pictures, Statue Films, and Metropolitan Movies.

119

Women used to spread rumors they were dating me.

120

I was a brilliant comic actor, bigger than big.

121

(PAUSE) How big are you? Beat 10. Celia’s backstory, humorously - part one

122 123

CELIA:

Well, I’m a size seven.

124

MAXIE:

Really?

125

CELIA:

Okay, a size nine.

126

MAXIE:

(SNAPS) I wasn’t asking about your clothes.

127

(REGROUPS) I meant, what have you done with your

128

life? Beat 11. Celia’s backstory, seriously – part two

129 130

CELIA:

(SENTENCES RUN TOGETHER) I’m working this job to

131

continue in college. I got my technical degree in

132

computer science and now I’m going for a

133

bachelor’s in international business. I’ve got

134

pretty good grades and someday I’ll go for my

135

Masters. My goal is to be President of my own

136

global business. And my friends call me Ceel;

137

short for Celia.

7

It Suits Her 138

MAXIE:

Very impressive, Celia.

139

CELIA:

Ceel.

140

MAXIE:

Ceel. I wish you nothing but success.

141

CELIA:

Thank you. Beat 12. Maxie hunts for common ground

142 143

MAXIE:

You said you watched movies with your parents.

144

CELIA:

Tons of them.

145

MAXIE:

Did you ever see “The Corsage?”

146

CELIA:

No.

147

MAXIE:

How about “A Continental Affair” or “Manners, Always Manners?”

148 149

CELIA:

No and no. Beat 13. Common ground found . . .

150 151

MAXIE:

How about “The Terminus?”

152

CELIA:

(BRIGHTENS) That was their favorite movie.

153

MAXIE:

I was in that.

154

CELIA:

As what – a bit player or an extra?

155

MAXIE:

I was Jonathan Talmadge.

156

CELIA:

You were Jonathan Talmadge? In “The Terminus?”

157

MAXIE:

That’s me.

158

CELIA:

We saw it a hundred times. My Dad always said he

159

hoped to be half the gentleman you were.

8

It Suits Her 160

MAXIE:

I’m sure he’s more of a gentleman than any movie

161

character. I have a few photographs from the

162

picture if your folks would like one autographed. Beat 14. . . . but it’s painful . . .

163 164

CELIA:

They’ve been gone for years.

165

MAXIE:

I’m sorry. Please accept my condolences.

166

CELIA:

They’re still alive but I don’t see them anymore.

167

MAXIE:

What happened?

168

CELIA:

They were always bragging about who they knew or

169

what parties they were going to. One night they

170

came home and dropped names in front of my

171

friends for over an hour. Beat 15. . . . really painful

172 173

MAXIE:

That doesn’t sound so bad.

174

CELIA:

Every name that came out of their mouths included

175

a salary, where they vacationed, and the type of

176

car they drove. When another hour went by, I

177

called them phonies. My dad laughed at me and

178

said, “If you’ll excuse us . . .”

179

MAXIE:

(BITE CUE: GENTLY) “If you’ll excuse us, Sarah, I

180

fear you’ve realized what we’ve worked so hard to

181

keep hidden from you.”

182

CELIA:

How’d you know?

9

It Suits Her 183

MAXIE:

It’s one of the scenes from “The Terminus.” My

184

character – Jonathan Talmadge – was a nothing

185

married to a nobody. He and his wife dragged

186

their daughter around the world for twenty years

187

convincing everyone they belonged in elite

188

society. One night in Europe they were heading

189

out to a fancy dress ball and their daughter,

190

Sarah, refused to go. She packed her bags, got on

191

a train, and left.

192

CELIA:

the city.

193 194

That’s what I did – packed my bags and moved to

MAXIE:

That’s extreme. Beat 16. Celia’s anger rising

195 196

CELIA:

I got tired of listening to them be pretend to be something they weren’t.

197 198

MAXIE:

Some people have to project a certain image.

199

CELIA:

Just to impress everyone else.

200

MAXIE:

Trying to be more than they were. Beat 17. Celia’s anger and hurt at full throttle

201 202

CELIA:

But I never asked for that. Just be there to

203

watch movies, eat popcorn, and laugh. All I ever

204

wanted was to ride our bikes down the shore and

205

get pretzels on the boardwalk.

10

It Suits Her 206

MAXIE:

Maybe they wanted to do but didn’t know how.

207

CELIA:

(FULL FORCE OF HURT) All they had to do was ask. Beat 18. Echoes of Maxie’s past

208 209

MAXIE:

(PUSHES BACK FIERCELY) It’s not that easy.

210

(REGROUPS: SLOW BUILD) I started with nothing,

211

got a bit of success, and things changed. My

212

friends wanted me to be gracious and witty like

213

the characters I played. A cocktail in one hand

214

and a charming comment in the other. I went to

215

all the parties, made people laugh, and got my

216

picture in the paper. Success got bigger but I

217

couldn’t keep it up. I’d slip out a side door to

218

get away from the crowds and be gone for days.

219

After a while, the parts stopped coming. That’s

220

when I realized I could never be something I

221

wasn’t. I was a nothing.

222

CELIA:

My parents were something; you’re the nothing.

223

MAXIE:

I didn’t push a daughter out of my life.

224

CELIA:

All they had to do was ask for help.

225

MAXIE:

They didn’t have the guts.

226

CELIE:

Leave them alone. (SOBS)

11

It Suits Her 227 228

Beat 19. Maxie asks for his suit . . .

MAXIE:

(PAUSES: OVER SOBS) Miss Court, I’m sorry, really sorry. (PAUSES) Miss Court?

229 230

CELIA:

(ANGRILY) What.

231

MAXIE:

I need your help.

232

CELIA:

(ANGRILY) How?

233

MAXIE:

I need my suit so I can go to my audition. It’s getting late and I’d . . .

234 235

CELIA:

(BITE CUE: ANGER FADES) Yeah, sure. It’s in the back room. Give me a minute to . . .

236

Beat 20. . . . just as Mr. Clarkson comes back

237 238

CLARKSON: (BITE CUE: COME ON MIC) Miss Court, you have a

239

lot of explaining to do. First, my wife never

240

called. Second, the shop isn’t closed. And,

241

third, who’s this guy?

242

CELIA:

Argosy Hills.

243

CLARKSON: Argosy Jones?

244

CELIA and MAXIE:

Hills. Beat 21. Add to Maxie’s backstory

245 246

CELIA:

247

CLARKSON: He hasn’t made a movie in twenty years.

248

MAXIE:

249

Mr. Hills is a movie actor.

Actually I made one eight years ago but it was really bad.

12

It Suits Her 250

CELIA:

251

CLARKSON: Was a star, now he’s a Has-Been and you’re a Never-Will-Be.

252 253

MAXIE:

There is no need to address Miss Court in that manner.

254 255

He says he was a big star.

CLARKSON: Listen pal. You drank yourself out of your

256

career. Get out of my shop before I call the

257

police.

258

CELIA:

You didn’t say anything about being a drunk.

259

MAXIE:

It’s not exactly a résumé moment.

260

CLARKSON: And Miss Court, why you didn’t close the shop. Beat 22. Re-plot

261 262

CELIA:

I did close it.

263

CLARKSON: How’d the drunk get in here?

264

MAXIE:

Enough with the drunk lines already.

265

CELIA:

The front door wasn’t locked and he walked in.

266

CLARKSON: To sleep off a bender?

267

MAXIE:

I have an audition tonight and – holy schmoly, look at the time.

268 269

CELIA:

I’ll get your suit.

270

CLARKSON: No.

271

MAXIE:

(PLEADING) Just let me have it.

13

It Suits Her 272

CELIA:

He’s a big movie star. (SING-SONG-Y) It’ll be good for business.

273 274

CLARKSON: (MIMICS HER) No-no-no-no-on-no-no.

275

MAXIE:

(MIMICS THEM) Oh, for crying out loud.

276

CELIA:

He’ll stand here all night and you’ll never close the shop.

277 278

CLARKSON: (GRUDGINGLY: BEGIN SLOW BURN) All right. Give him the suit and get my money.

279 280

MAXIE:

How much does it come to?

281

CELIA:

What does he owe?

282

CLARKSON: Seventeen-fifty.

283

MAXIE:

All I have is a twenty.

284

CELIA:

He has twenty dollars.

285

CLARKSON: There’s a two-fifty late fee.

286

MAXIE:

Can I get a receipt?

287

CELIA:

Can he . . .

288

CLARKSON: (BITE CUE HARD) No. You have your suit, get out. Miss Court, you’re fired. Good-bye.

289

290

SFX:

DOOR SLAMS LOUDLY SHUT.

Beat 23. More of Maxie’s backstory

291 292

CELIA:

It’s a nice suit, anyway.

293

MAXIE:

I’m sorry about your job.

It Suits Her 294

CELIA:

14

There are plenty of other jobs. I can start over with someone else. But you missed your audition.

295

296

SFX:

CEL PHONE RINGS TWICE.

297

MAXIE:

Do you want to get that?

298

CEEL:

He can leave a message.

299

MAXIE:

Anyway, the audition was a hundred to one shot that wasn’t meant to be. I’ll get another one.

300 301

CELIA:

Were you really a drunk?

302

MAXIE:

It never goes away. I drank when I woke up,

303

during the day, and to fall asleep. Didn’t even

304

recognize my own daughter.

305

CELIA:

Why didn’t you get help?

306

MAXIE:

I didn’t have the guts to let the world see the

307

perfect gentleman was a lousy drunk. I lost

308

everything – career, money, and family. I haven’t

309

seen my wife or kids in a decade.

310

CELIA:

Do you still drink?

311

MAXIE:

I’m recovering; haven’t had one in five years,

312

six months, two weeks, one day, and . . . what

313

time is it?

314

CELIA:

Nine-seventeen.

315

MAXIE:

And seventeen minutes. Approximately.

15

It Suits Her 316 317

Beat 24. Introduce Tony

TONY:

(COME ON MIC)

That’s a long time to go without a

318

drink. Are you sure it’s been five years, six

319

months, and two weeks?

320

MAXIE:

Don’t forget the one day and seventeen minutes.

321

CELIA:

Eighteen, now.

322

TONY:

Hello, Maxie.

323

MAXIE:

Hello, Tony. The auditions are over, aren’t they?

324

TONY:

Yes, Maxie. Who’s your friend?

325

CELIA:

I’ll leave you two alone.

326

MAXIE:

No, please stay. Tony, this is Celia Court. Her

327

friends call her Ceel. And Ceel - this is Tony

328

Marks.

329

TONY:

Pleasure to meet you, Celia.

330

CELIA:

Likewise, Mr. Marks. Beat 25. The audition is missed

331 332

TONY:

We waited for you, Maxie. What happened?

333

MAXIE:

The shop was closed when I got here. Ceel argued with the owner to re-open but he wouldn’t listen.

334 335

CELIA:

That’s not exactly . . .

336

MAXIE:

(BITE CUE) Finally he got my suit and when I

337

pointed out that his tailoring wasn’t acceptable,

338

he blamed Miss Court.

339

TONY:

Really?

16

It Suits Her 340

MAXIE:

Then he fired her on my account.

341

CELIA:

What really happened was . . .

342

TONY:

(BITE CUE) That’s unfortunate.

343

MAXIE:

That’s not the last of it, Tony. She needs a job

344

to continue her university studies to be

345

President of her own global business.

346

TONY:

She must be pretty smart. Beat 26. Surprise job for Celia

347 348

MAXIE:

So even though I missed the auditions – and

349

you’re probably sore at me - and I caused her to

350

lose her job, do you know of any positions that

351

might be opening up for her?

352

TONY:

that’s opening up Monday.

353 354

As a matter of fact, there’s an Assistant’s job

CELIA:

That’s incredible. Thank you, Mr. Marks. Beat 27. Bigger surprise – Maxie gets the role

355 356

MAXIE:

Hold on. Who’s the job with? I want to interview her new employer.

357 358

TONY:

(CHUCKLES AT THE HUMOR) It would be one-sided.

359

MAXIE:

How so?

360

TONY:

She’s “your” Assistant.

361

MAXIE:

I don’t have a job.

17

It Suits Her 362

TONY:

You got the part, Maxie. I heard the whole scene

363

with the shop owner and Miss Court. She was the

364

one who wanted to close.

365

CELIA:

I can explain.

366

TONY:

The owner came back and fired her. You took the blame and spun a nice little fable for me.

367 368

MAXIE:

I’m not much of an actor if I can’t fool you.

369

TONY:

Maybe. But you’re more of a gentleman than you

370

were in “The Terminus.” We start rehearsals

371

Monday morning at nine A-M and I’ll see you

372

there. You too, Miss Court, uh, I mean, Ceel.

373

MAXIE:

I can’t thank you enough. Let me buy you dinner.

374

TONY:

At the Italian place?

375

MAXIE:

Like old times.

376

TONY:

Tempting offer. But go without a drink for

377

another hundred and five years, six months, two

378

weeks, one day, and eighteen minutes and that’ll

379

be plenty of payment. Besides, I have some

380

details to take care of.

381

CELIA:

It’s twenty-one minutes, now.

382

MAXIE:

And twenty-one minutes. Approximately. Beat 28. First time – where’ve you been, Maxie?

383 384

TONY:

By the way, where’ve you been lately?

18

It Suits Her 385

MAXIE:

Here and there, you know. Performing. I had a gig earlier tonight.

386 387

TONY:

I haven’t seen your name anywhere.

388

MAXIE:

Remind me to tell you about it later.

389

TONY:

Fair enough. I’ll see you both on Monday. And, Maxie, welcome back.

390

391

SFX:

TONY’S FOOTSTEPS GO OFF.

Beat 29. Dinner, deferred

392 393

CELIA:

That was incredible.

394

MAXIE:

Getting a job and landing a part deserve a celebration. Let’s have dinner.

395 396

CELIA:

you?

397 398

MAXIE:

Sure. It’s the Italian place two blocks down and one block west.

399

Beat 30. Second time – what’ve you been doing, Maxie?

400 401

I have a phone call to make. Can I meet up with

CELIA:

I’ll see you there. (PAUSE) By the way, what gig were you coming from tonight?

402 403

MAXIE:

Nothing important.

404

CELIA:

Tell me, I’m you’re Assistant.

405

MAXIE:

Nothing. Make your phone call and meet me at the

406

restaurant. Ask for Nick.

19

It Suits Her 407

Beat 31. Two hours later . . .

408

MUSIC:

PASSAGE OF TIME.

409

SFX:

ESTABLISH INTERIOR OF RESTAURANT.

410

MAXIE:

Hey, Nick, what time is it?

411

NICK:

It is being past eleven thirty, Mister Maxie. I

412

am perhaps thinking that your companion will not

413

be joining you tonight.

414

MAXIE:

my night.

415 416

NICK:

And the day before the day before Christmas is becoming the morning of Merry Christmas Eve.

417 418

It’s been two hours. Tonight doesn’t seem to be

MAXIE:

I guess she got a better offer. Beat 32. . . . Ceel arrives

419 420

CEEL:

(COME ON MIC) Not a better offer. But an overdue

421

part. Hi, Max. I have someone I’d like you to

422

meet.

423

MAXIE:

The young man who kept calling you?

424

CEEL:

It’s my mother and father. Mom, dad – this is Argosy Hills.

425 426

MRS. COURT:

We’ve seen lots of your films.

427 428 429

Mister Hills, it’s a pleasure to meet you.

MR. COURT:

“The Terminus” is my favorite. The one scene where you say . . .

20

It Suits Her 430

MAXIE:

“If you’ll excuse us, Sarah, I fear you’ve

431

discovered what we’ve worked so hard to keep

432

hidden.”

433

MR. COURT:

No, it’s where the husband and wife welcome

434

back there daughter after she’s been gone five

435

years.

436

MAXIE:

(TO AUDIENCE) I don’t think I can win tonight.

437

MRS. COURT:

438

MAXIE:

439

MRS. COURT:

Pardon me?

You have a special daughter. She said you helped get her a new job. We

can’t thank you enough.

440 441

MAXIE:

My pleasure.

442

CEEL:

Max, can I take rain check on dinner? We have some catching up to do.

443 444

MAXIE:

Of course. I’ll see you Monday morning. Merry Christmas, Ceel.

445 446

CEEL:

Merry Christmas, Max.

447

MRS. COURT and MRS. COURT:

(TO MAXIE) Merry Christmas.

448

(GO OFF MIC) “I can’t believe we actually met

449

Argosy Hills.” “And he’s so nice.” “Even nicer

450

than in his pictures.”

21

It Suits Her 451 452

Beat 33. It’s Tony, . . .

NICK:

The Courts are a very lovely family, Mister Maxie. I am applauding what you did.

453 454

MAXIE:

They deserve a Merry Christmas, Nick.

455

NICK:

But you are having a role in Mister Tony’s new play. That is worth celebrating.

456 457

MAXIE:

of tonic water and a fresh lime.

458 459

You’re right. Bring me your most expensive bottle

NICK:

That’s the new Mister Maxie I am remembering.

460

(CALLS OUT) One vodka tonic – holding on the

461

vodka.

462

TONY:

Hiya Maxie. I was hoping you’d still be here.

463

MAXIE:

You missed Ceel and her parents. First Christmas they’ve shared in five years.

464 465

TONY:

Lovely family. We saw them on their way out.

466

MAXIE:

We?

467

TONY:

Me and my details. Just made the deadline. Needed to happen in time for Christmas.

468

Beat 34. . . . With a friend

469 470

MAXIE:

Sounds serious. Anything you can share?

471

TONY:

In the lobby.

472

NICK:

One tonic with the fresh lime for Mister Maxie. Mister Tony, may I be bringing the same for you?

473 474

TONY:

Two, Nick – I have a friend. I’ll be right back.

22

It Suits Her 475

MAXIE:

Everybody has someone except me.

476

NICK:

(CALLS OUT) Two vodka tonics – holding on the vodkas – for Mister Tony. He has a friend.

477 478

MAXIE:

I’ll take two. One for me and another one for me.

479

NICK:

(CALLS OUT) Two more – holding on the vodkas – for Mister Maxie.

480

Beat 35. That’s no friend, it’s Agnes

481 482

AGNES:

Hello, Max.

483

MAXIE:

Agnes? (STUMBLES OVER WORDS) I, you, uh, it’s

484

only tonic, I promise, but, when? Were you having

485

dinner?

486

AGNES:

Tony told me you were here.

487

TONY:

She was the detail I needed to work out.

488

MAXIE:

(GENTLY PROTESTS) You could’ve warned me. My clothes are a mess.

489 490

TONY:

You’re fine.

491

NICK:

I am seeing that you are not standing too close to an iron lately, Mister Maxie.

492 493

MAXIE:

I definitely can’t win tonight.

494

AGNES:

Kind of a shabby chic. It suits you.

495

TONY:

I’ve got to go. See you Monday, Maxie. Merry Christmas, Agnes.

496 497

AGNES:

To you as well, Tony.

23

It Suits Her 498

SFX:

GO OFF MIC: TONY’S FOOTSTEPS.

Beat 36. Third time – what’ve you been doing, Maxie?

499 500

AGNES:

How’ve you been keeping yourself?

501

MAXIE:

Oh, you know. A little of this and a little of that.

502 503

AGNES:

Working?

504

MAXIE:

Pretty steady. Especially the last four years. I even have a retirement account.

505 506

AGNES:

I haven’t seen your name around town.

507

MAXIE:

Not on stage or film. I’ve got a couple of jobs that keep me busy.

508 509

AGNES:

Tell me.

510

MAXIE:

The one I really like is in the Men’s department of a local store.

511 512

AGNES:

You any good?

513

MAXIE:

I couldn’t sell a glass of water to a man in the

514

desert. But I make customers laugh and they

515

usually buy a shirt or tie. Plus, I work with

516

some of the best people I’ve ever known. They’re

517

funny and creative, like an ensemble. Around

518

them, I got my timing back. They encouraged me to

519

audition.

24

It Suits Her 520 521

Beat 37. Congratulations

AGNES:

Congratulations. And on your new role. I see you’ve been celebrating.

522 523

MAXIE:

I’ve become a connoisseur of tonic and lime.

524

AGNES:

How long’s it been?

525

MAXIE:

Ten years since I saw you.

526

AGNES:

Since your last drink.

527

MAXIE:

Five years, six months, two weeks, one day, two hours and fifty-seven minutes.

528 529

AGNES:

Approximately?

530

MAXIE:

Approximately. It’s good to see you. Beat 38. Agnes probes

531 532

AGNES:

Just one question.

533

MAXIE:

Sure.

534

AGNES:

Why’d you do all those things?

535

MAXIE:

Well, you see, uh, I, . . .

536

AGNES:

Why run around?

537

MAXIE:

Technically, that’s two questions.

538

AGNES:

Drink so much?

539

MAXIE:

That’s three.

540

AGNES:

Not come home?

541

MAXIE:

(PAUSE: CONTRITE) That was the worst, not seeing you. But I was so afraid.

542 543

AGNES:

Of what?

25

It Suits Her 544

MAXIE:

How I was changing – the interviews, parties, people hanging around me. Afraid that . . .

545 546

AGNES:

. . . Go on.

547

MAXIE:

Afraid that you wouldn’t think I was as good as the characters I played.

548 549

AGNES:

Tony told me what you did for that girl. Said it

550

was more gentlemanly than anything you did in

551

“Terminus.” Everybody knew what you were before

552

that movie. I’ve always known what kind of man

553

you are. Beat 39. Maxie pushes back

554 555

MAXIE:

You never told me.

556

AGNES:

I was afraid you’d think I wasn’t good enough for you.

557 558

MAXIE:

The tonic’s gone to my head. Help me understand.

559

AGNES:

We studied drama together and went to the same

560

auditions. You became a star and I got stretch

561

marks. You were out with all those actresses and

562

I was . . .

563

MAXIE:

(GENTLY BITES CUE) You were always on my mind.

564

AGNES:

Don’t start, Max, or you’ll wear your tonic.

565

NICK:

Is somebody asking that I should be bringing a

566

tonic?

26

It Suits Her 567

MAXIE:

No, Nick, just have a towel ready in case Agnes starts throwing my limes.

568 569

NICK:

Mister Maxie is making me to laugh.

570

AGNES:

Ha-ha. I’ll bet you were the life of the party with Gina Broyles and Pamela Fenster.

571 572

MAXIE:

Gina Broyles, Pamela Fenster, and all the others listened to me talk about you.

573 574

AGNES:

That’s boring.

575

MAXIE:

I’m not sure which of us is worse.

576

AGNES:

You.

577

MAXIE:

You’re probably right. (PAUSE: RESUME NERVOUSLY) Look, I, uh, . . .

578 579

AGNES:

Well.

580

MAXIE:

I’m not really good with words.

581

AGNES:

Don’t tell Tony or he might change his mind. Beat 40. He goes for broke . . .

582 583

MAXIE:

What I mean is I’m not good with words unless

584

they’re in a script. But I was thinking that

585

maybe sometime soon, not tomorrow or Christmas,

586

but in the next few days, I might stop by to say

587

hello to the kids.

588

AGNES:

They’d like that.

27

It Suits Her 589

MAXIE:

(NOT LISTENING TO HER) I won’t stay long and I’ll

590

call before coming over. It won’t be a major

591

disruption.

592

AGNES:

That suits me.

593

MAXIE:

(NOT LISTENING TO HER) After school but before dinner so I don’t interrupt their homework.

594 595

AGNES:

O-kay!

596

MAXIE:

(NOT LISTENING TO HER) Well, it was just an idea.

597

If it doesn’t make any sense, we can drop the

598

whole thing and . . .

599

AGNES:

(BITES CUE HARD) Max. I said yes. (REGROUPS) Stop

600

by after you’ve had a few rehearsals. The kids’ll

601

want to hear all about it.

602

MAXIE:

I won’t let you down. I won’t let us down. Beat 41. . . . gets a smile . . .

603 604

AGNES:

By the way, what’s the name of the play?

605

MAXIE:

You’ve never heard of it.

606

AGNES:

Tell me.

607

MAXIE:

It’s nothing, really.

608

AGNES:

I want to know.

609

MAXIE:

Okay, okay. It’s called “Second Chances.”

28

It Suits Her 610

AGNES:

Must’ve been written for you. First, you drink

611

yourself out of a brilliant film career and

612

loving family.

613

MAXIE:

Ouch. Beat 42. . . . And reunites with Agnes

614 615

AGNES:

Five years after your last drink you’re cast in a

616

major play and reunite a young woman with her

617

parents.

618

MAXIE:

Check. Then I repair a ten-year-long breakup with my wife all in one evening.

619 620

AGNES:

Don’t get ahead of the story.

621

MAXIE:

Ouch. Again.

622

AGNES:

(PAUSE) Hey, Max.

623

MAXIE:

Yes.

624

AGNES:

It’s good to see you.

625

MAXIE:

And you, too. I’ll call you in a few days. Merry Christmas, Agnes.

626

627

628

MUSIC:

UP AND ESTABLISH. UNDER TO BED AND OUT.

Beat 43. The End