Issue 10

A Word from Our Leader

The first two months of 2007 have flown by and the works has suffered its fair share of downs these past 8 weeks. We are still having a run of niggling faults that have caused the works to loose volumes; at the end of play Period 2 we are 67,000 down on green make and can be attributed to Creams, and the remaking of the Manchester Reds using the grand old lady sanding machine (its said that this was here before Mick Brayford but it cant be). On the fired side well, the knock on effects have caused us to be 170,000 down, so we have 10 months to pull these back. Works costs are running about on budget. Quality We have been hit by a few complaints early 2007 mainly due to distortion on bottom bricks, so dehacker lads if you see them please take them out. The first run of Manchester reds were a disaster hence the 2nd run. Hopefully the engineering department will be able to convert the top guns to oscillating to enable bald patches to be a thing of the past. The runs of Creams vhave been probably the best since I came in 2005 so well done to everyone Health & Safety Again thank you for your concerted efforts in working safe. Please ask if you are not sure and we can do a risk assessment to find the safest method of carrying out the task. 1of5

Sales Sales are up and down similar to last year but hopefully things will pick up enough for us to continue producing. Manchester Reds are part of a 1.2 million order, plus 70,000 being gauged, so with the prospect of further orders. Projects The money for the new plant has now been passed by Hansons Plc which is good news and work is still progressing to satisfy Leeds Council, hopefully this will be passed autumn 2007 and then we can start the building phase of the project. Just a reminder, that any bricks must be authorised before being removed from the yard. Failure to obtain authorisation could result in dismissal and it’s not worth the risk for a few quid Finally thanks for all your efforts over the past 12 months and hopefully we can get the works running as smooth as in 2005

INTERVIEW WITH DAVID ZINIS 30th jan 1977 – 30th jan 2007 40 year anniversary

The presentation of the 40 year continued service by Paul Wingfield to David Zinis on 28th February 2007 in that time he has had over 50 electric shocks PTO to hear his story so far… When I first left school I obtained a job at Walter Robinsons in Brighouse, when I was 17 I got a job at Samuel Wilkinsons who were a family firm like Armitages with several different sites up and down.

There was Woodman Pipeworks, Woodman, Blackley, Calder and Atlas; Altlas made purpose made commons which were big sellers in those days as they were used for the inner walls where the face could not be seen. I was contracted as an electrician to work all over and really enjoyed them days. Generally Blackley site made fired bricks and the sales of these compensated when sales of ordinary bricks hit a lull and vice versa. However towards the end of the eighties the whole country was hit by recession and the firebrick industry started going downhill with the steel industry and simultaneously the ordinary brick sales started to plummet in both value and quantity. This prompted the sale of Samuel Wilkinson to Hansons under the title then of Butterley Brick and suddenly we went from being a small family firm where everyone knew each other to a large international firm which no one knew anyone. I must admit I preferred it being small but times move on and you have to adjust to survive such is the laws of nature. I must admit that coming to work at Swillington has been quite a shock after working at Calder for so long, you get institutionalised you see so I suppose it has been one of my biggest memories and for the first time meeting a true Jedi Master 2of5

like yourself in person well that’s an experience in itself. When I first heard I would be working here, well you cannot put words in a respectable magazine like this about my thoughts and feelings, I was also used to getting out of bed and falling into the electricians shop so it seemed a very long way to travel. However a practical man like myself I have found all the quick routes such as heading towards Leeds and using the M621 to junction 27 of the M62 thereby missing the M62/M1 interchange which is really badly designed, I have suggested other layouts for this interchange to the highways agency but it has all fallen on deaf ears so far. You see they closed the Calder works for reasons best known to them and I was offered redundancy then an electrician’s job appeared here which I took. Other memories in the past was the time when we had a sports day event at Samuel Wilkinsons in 1979 and I won the egg and spoon race, I have still got the cup now it has pride of place on my mantelpiece and my photo appeared in the Brighouse Chronicle which made me a bit of a local celebrity A bad memory while been here was falling off my BMW motorbike at the bottom of the lane, the brakes on it were binding a bit so when I pulled the lever initially nothing happened so I pulled a little harder and the front wheel locked leaving me lying on the road looking very silly. Anyway as it happened no one saw me or was nearby to laugh at my predicament and I quickly got the bike back up which had little damage and rode off into the night like boon on that TV series. I can’t remember Mick Brayford or Steve Todd in the early days because obviously I didn’t work here then but I do remember Cruella when she was a nipper and obviously when she worked on despatch at Calder but no I don’t actually fancy her.

Left to right, Paul Wingfield, Dawn Wright, Darren Bell, David Zinnis, Mick Brayford, Mick Lardner & Cruella

I have known Mick Lardner for oh, donkeys years, he’s a really nice guy is Mick, a bit overweight but his hearts in the right place. I have bumped into him a few times at ICT dinners (well its hard not to) and I have seen him around a few of the different sites over the years. If I won the lottery there would be no point in continuing to work because your entire wage would get swallowed up in tax so in effect you would be working for nothing. I think I would sell my house and buy a big posh yacht and end up over in the coast of Wales I certainly wouldn’t go down south with them rich buggers. I sort of believe in a form of existence after we die, I think we carry on in our minds, I mean all the atoms which we are made from are just vibrations and what we see is really a product of brain chemistry not what actually is there. I think it’s a bit like a really vivid dream and you can make what you want happen but the geography of the earth is very similar to what it is when we are alive but we can also go into space and visit the moons of Mars if we want. I will set myself up a little house on Hyperion – one of the many moons of Saturn, its supposed to be very beautiful there with the rings and all that. I also believe that animals have an afterlife existence and I believe in reincarnation, in fact I believe around the turn of the 19th century I was an ostrich on the planes of Africa. My nicknames, well the only one I know of is Zoggy which was a name from my school days 3of5

which has continued to haunt me all my life, I mean with a name like Zinnis everyone takes the p*ss and well it got cut down and changed and in the end settled on Zoggy. I am not aware of any other nicknames but maybe you all know different (indeed we do). For music well I love Country and Western and Rock & Roll, I loved Jason Donovan’s albums in the late eighties and early nineties, I still often play “Too Many Broken Hearts” which is my favourite song of all time. My hobbies include walking and fishing, I love to go for walks all over the dales and the welsh mountains, I have climbed Snowdon a couple of times but every time it has been cloudy and no I have never been up on the train. I am also married with one granddaughter. By the time I retire I will have worked for 47 years. I also asked a few people round the works what they thought of David Zinnis… Mick Brayford “He hasn’t done bad since he started work here he has put some good work in” Darryl “I can’t remember – he’s a good bloke really … I think!” Geoff “No comment” Andy Smith “I have never really had owt to do with old Horsewhisperer cos I cant understand him” Gary Smith “It was funny tother day when I kept calling him on the radio and he was carrying his coffee, he kept putting it down to answer his radio then he carried on so I called him again and he put his coffee down to answer again. His coffee must have been cold when he got to where he was going, it really tickled me” Darren Bell “I think he is quiet, efficient and enthusiastic”

WORKS STATISTICS Last mth ▲ 2 ▲ 3 ▼ 1 ▲ 5 ▼ 4 ▲ 13 NEW

Top 15 For Feb 2007 pos Name 1 73 Class B Hanson 2 73 City Multi 3 73 Class B Jewson 4 65 Mixed Rejects 5 65 Cream Smth 6 65 Swaledale Drag 7 73 Mixed Rejects

Quantity 230016 110208 100680 98084 95824 67360 66432

▲ NEW ▲ ▼ ▼ NEW NEW ▼

14 12 10 8

11

Week Com 22/01/2007 29/01/2007 05/02/2007 12/02/2007 19/02/2007

8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

65 City Multi 65 Manchester 65 Ridings Multi 65 Victorian Smth 65 Golden Brown 73 Victorian 65 Farmhse Brwn 73 Golden Brown

Produced 403,816 409,100 437,760 434,484 432,076

Sold 336,888 391,140 405,468 354,688 360,276

65088 57856 56952 50172 42940 35328 35256 33792 Stock 15,351,068 15,370,232 15,402,524 15,482,320 15,552,400

This week we managed to break our daily record with sales of 160,978 on 1st March this is the highest daily sales since I started recording them when I started at Swillington in September 2005. We also for the first time during week commencing 26th Feb with sales of 458,913 have taken off stock the previous highest weekly sales have been 454,470 from 13-17th Feb 2006

JOKES

Letter from tescos Wouldn't you just love to do some of these things??? I know I would!!!! This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford: Dear Mrs. Murray, While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras… 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle. 4of5

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... And watched what happened. 5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove. 7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. 9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the House-wares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were. 10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again." And; last, but not least: 14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here." Yours Sincerely, Charles Brown Store Manager

David Zinnis in a previous incarnation

A Nun & The Priest

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. "Well, sister, this looks pretty grim." "I know, father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two." "I agree", says the Father, "Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?" "Anything, Father." "I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours." "Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm." The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. "Sister, would you mind if I touched them?" She consented and he fondled them for several minutes. "Father, could I ask something of you? "Yes, Sister?" "I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?" "I suppose that would be OK," the priest replied lifting his robe. "Oh Father, may I touch it?" This time the priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection. "Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can produce life." "Is that true father?" "Yes, it is, Sister." "Oh Father, that's wonderful! Stick it in the camel and let's get the hell out of here."

A JOKE by DARREN Bell Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it

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flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage. Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up, then all the other bells started to ring.

ELDERLY COUPLE An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day so they could travel together. After the examination, the doctor then said to the elderly man, "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me?" "In fact I do," said the elderly man. "After I have sex with my wife the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually cold and chilly." The doctor said he would make a note of that and see what some lab tests revealed. After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?" The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns. The doctor then asked, "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why that could be?" "Oh that crazy old fart!" she replied. "That is because the first time is usually around July and the second time is usually in December!"