Impact Of Low Self-esteem

Impact of Low Self-Esteem C6436 Individual Counseling Theory and Practice Presented by: James J. Messina, Ph.D

What is Low Self-Esteem?           

Insecurity Closed to Others Poor Decision Maker Anxious Fear of Intimacy Not able to have fun Black and White Thinker Poor Anger Control High Need for Approval Lots of Guilt Lots of Depression

What is Healthy Self-Esteem?           

Sense of Productivity Sense of Autonomy Sense of Uniqueness Altruistic Leadership Ability Sense of Competence Self-Confidence Healthy Self-Concept Independent Thinker Self-Accepting & Loving Good Decision Maker

What Contributes to Low SelfEsteem       

Dysfunctional Environments Bad relationships Codependent Has Disability Non -supportive school, work Abused Conditional acceptance and love

What causes Dysfunction?         

Things more important than people Mental illness Major Losses Abuse Rigid feelings Ice Boxes Addiction Disability Big Pay Off

Looking -Good       

Hero High Achiever Over-responsible Driven Approval Seeker Looks together Goal: Denial of Problems

Acting Out         

Scapegoat Irresponsible Trouble-Maker Rebellious Poor - Under Achiever Anti-authority Self-destructive Caustic Goal: Divert focus

Pulling In         

Invisible Loner Bookish Quiet - Recluse Hard to know Aloof Avoid problems Protect self -overweight Goal: withdraws to survive

ENTERTAINER          

Clown Mascot Comic Relief Immature Hyperactive Not taken seriously Distracter Attention getting Talks a lot Goal: Divert attention

Troubled Person          

Irresponsible Addict Unstable Blame others Out of control Broken Con artist Denial of problems Problem for others Goal: Self-serving

Enabling        

Protect & Save others Over-responsible Co-dependent Nagger Covers up Controlling Demanding Goal: get troubled people to change

Rescuing         

Helper Motivated Victimized Stuck Irrational Loyalty Burdened-down Self-Negated Unassertive Goal: reduce tension, hurt & pain

People Pleasing          

Easily liked Placator Always smiling Outgoing Friendly Courteous Generous Fits in Works hard to please Goal: get approval

Non-Feeling        

Stoic Nothing bothers Intense thinker Low-Key Steady eventempered No strong feelings Black & White Goal: deny feelings to survive

Impact of Low Self-Esteem S o u rc e s o f L o w S e lf-E s te e m d y s fu n c t io n a l e n v ir o n m e n t s , d is a s t e r o u s r e la t io n s h ip s , c o d e p e n d e n c y , p h y s ic a l a b u s e , e m o t io n a l & v e r b a l a b u s e , s e x u a l a b u s e , a d d ic t io n s , d is a b ilit y , p e r s o n a l fa ilu r e s , c h r o n ic illn e s s , n e g le c t , p u t d o w n s

T h in k in g d is to rte d

F e e lin g s d is to rte d

B e h a v io rs d is to re d

by ir r a t io n a l b e lie fs & o ld b e h a v io r a l s c r ip t s

d e n ie d , r e p r e s s e d , e x a g g e ra te d o r e x p lo s iv e fe e lin g s

u n h e a lt h y , ir r e s p o n s ib le , c o m p u ls iv e , u n p r o d u c t iv e , s e lf- d e s t r u c t iv e

LO W SELF ESTEEM C o m p u ls iv e P e rs o n a lity T ra its L o o k in g G o o d , A c t in g O u t , P u llin g I n , E n t e r t a in in g , E n a b le r , T r o u b le d P e r s o n , P e o p le P le a s e r , R e s c u e r , N o n fe e lin g U n re s o lv e d L o s s Is s u e s

U n r e s o lv e d A n g e r Is s u e s

S e lf-D e s tr u c tiv e B e h a v io r s

P e r s o n a l A d ju s tm e n t P r o b le m s

C o n tr o l Is s u e s

F a u lty C o m m u n ic a tio n s

In te r p e r s o n a l R e la tio n s h ip P r o b le m s

Healthy Adult Self-Esteem N e c e s s a r y C o n d it io n s f o r G r o w t h S e lf N u r t u r in g

N u r t u r in g E n v ir o n m e n t

N u r t u r in g R e la t io n s h ip

u n c o n d it io n a l s e lf lo v e & a c c e p t a n c e a c c e p t s e lf a s u n iq u e o p e n & h o n e s t in p e r s o n a l fe e lin g s

r e c o g n it io n & a c c e p t a n c e d e fin e d & e n fo r c e d lim it s r e s p e c t & fr e e d o m t o b e s e lf

u n c o n d it io n a l lo v e & a c c e p t a n c e g o o d c o m m u n ic a t io n s w a r m t h , c a r in g & lo v e o f o t h e r s

H e a lth y S e lf-E s te e m S e lf-w o r th

S e lf-D e s e r v e d n e s s

P r o d u c tiv e P e r s o n a lity

P e r s o n a lly R e s p o n s ib le

C r e a tiv e P r o b le m S o lv e r

A ltr u is m

L e a d e r s h ip

H e a lth y C o p in g S k ills

H e a lth y S e lf-c o n c e p t

O p tim is m

Self-Esteem Recovery Model S o u rc e s o f R e c o v e ry I n d iv id u a l, c o u p le , fa m ily , g r o u p c o u n s e lin g , T r e a t m e n t P e e r s u p p o r t , 1 2 S t e p P r o g r a m s , B u d d ie s a t S E A , A A , N A , G A , O A , A la n o n , A C O A , C o D A

R a tio n a l T h in k in g

H e a le d R a tio n a l F e e lin g s

H e a lth y R a tio n a l B e h a v io rs

le a r n w h a t is r e a lit y & n o r m a l, d is p e l ir r a t io n a l, c r e a t e a ffir m a t io n s

le a r n h o n e s t a n d o p e n id e n t ify & e x p r e s s fe e lin g s

a c t o n r a t io n a l t h o u g h t s a n d fe e lin g s , a c c e p t r e s p o n s ib ilit y - L e t G o t o G o d

C h a n g e d O ld P e rs o n a lity T ra its r e w r it e o ld s c r ip t s , r e d e fin e s e lf

Im p r o v e d S e lf - E s t e e m L e t g o o f L o s s Is s u e s

R e s o lv e A n g e r Is s u e s

E lim in a te S e lf- D e s tr u c tiv e B e h a v io r s

Im p r o v e d p e r s o n a l fu n c tio n in g

S e lf-c o n tr o l - le ttin g g o o f o th e r s

Im p r o v e d C o m m u n ic a tio n s

Im p r o v e in te r p e r s o n a l r e la tio n s h ip s