I'll Never Smile Again

SONG #1A: WELCOME TO OUR KINGDOM PERFORMED BY: THE TOWNSFOLK ALL: Ah… Ah… Ah… Ah-Ah… Ah… Ah… Ah.. Ah… VERSE 1: RICHARD: If you’re looking for rest Surrounded by tropical green FIL: But you don’t like the heat You haven’t brought sunscreen JACKIE: Don’t despair, stop looking so blue FARHAN: When you’re here FARIZ: We’ll take care of you GIRLS: Just lie back, close your eyes FARIZ & FARHAN: We’ll serve you FIL & RICHARD: , Drinks with ice ALL: And turn the aircon up for you! CHORUS: Welcome, welcome to our Kingdom Here where the weather doesn’t really matter Welcome, welcome to our Kingdom We’ve filtered the sun so your sweat doesn’t run It doesn’t matter! Welcome, welcome to our Kingdom Here where the weather doesn’t really matter Welcome, welcome to our Kingdom We’ll help you conceal so your skin doesn’t peel It doesn’t matter!

SONG #1B: WELCOME TO OUR KINGDOM PERFORMED BY: THE TOWNSFOLK VERSE 2: RICHARD: If you’re born with a face Only a mother could love FIL: And each night that you pray For some help from above JACKIE: Don’t despair, stop looking so blue FARHAN: At eighteen FARIZ: We’ll try to fix you GIRLS: But till then, hold on tight, FARHAN & FARIZ: To the hope FIL & RICHARD: That we might, ALL: Say hello to a brand new you! CHORUS: Welcome, welcome to our kingdom It’s here that’s where the outside really matters Welcome, welcome to our kingdom It’s not what you do But your clothes and your shoes That’s all that matters! VERSE 3: GIRLS: If you’re born in a place That’s so clean and so green FARHAN: It’s a shame to be plain You should learn from the Queen FARIZ: Polar bears are bleached till they’re white RICHARD: Sculptures polished till they are so bright GORDON & FIL: All the leaves are arranged And to us ALL: It’s not strange Though outsiders get a fright CHORUS: Welcome, welcome to our kingdom It’s here that’s where the outside really matters Welcome, welcome to our kingdom Where beauty is queen And dirt is obscene The outside matters!

SONG #2: PICNIC IN THE PARK PERFORMED BY: SNOW WHITE AND ANIMAL CHORUS VERSE 1: I’ve got carrots in my basket Some fish and birdseed too Don’t even have to ask for it This banquet’s just for you Eat all you want my furry friends And feathered ones as well I love to see how you descend Around this yummy smell CHORUS: Let’s have a picnic in the park Just like it was on Noah’s ark We’re having such a lovely feast For every bird and every beast VERSE 2: I see you’ve come in little pairs To share a meal for two There’ll always be some food to share For those whose love is true I have some cocoa in my flask With no else to share It would be nice if someone asked If I’ve a sip to spare CHORUS: Let’s have a picnic in the park Just like it was on Noah’s ark We’re having such a lovely feast For every bird and every beast It’s a picnic in the park! It’s a picnic in the park! It’s a picnic in the park!

SONG #3: QUEEN’S INTRO (ORDINARY GIRL) PERFORMED BY: THE QUEEN & PAGAENT CONTESTANTS QUEEN & CONTESTANTS: O-O-O-Ordinary O-O-O-Ordinary O-O-O-Ordinary Ordinary girl (Repeat) VERSE 1: QUEEN: You can’t afford my diamonds Or these exquisite pearls But even though I am your queen I’m just one of the girls This bracelet costs an atom bomb This ring will ruin you But apart from these accessories I’m down to earth, it’s true CHORUS: I’m just an ordinary girl I could be living just next door My handsome Gurkha bodyguards I’ll have to ask you to ignore VERSE 2: Of course I’m always driven round In big expensive cars And I have weekly dinners with Tycoons and superstars BRIDGE: But take away all that And we’re all just the same A rich girl with expensive taste Is not someone you’d blame I’ll go to hawker centres And sit with drunks and bums I’ll even drink some kopi-O And eat mee Siam mai hum Mai hum mai hum Mai hum mai hum mai hum CHORUS: I’m just an ordinary girl I could be living just next door My multi-million salary I’ll have to ask you to ignore O-O-O-Ordinary O-O-O-Ordinary O-O-O-Ordinary Ordinary girl (Repeat)

SONG #4: I CANNOT TELL A LIE PERFORMED BY: MAGIC MIRROR VERSE 1: Some mirrors make you slimmer And some will wink and shimmer They let you see your pretty side And even though it’s perilous I will state the obvious The truth I just can’t hide CHORUS: Oh no ‘Cos I cannot, cannot tell a lie No matter how I try I will only tell the truth Well, I cannot, cannot tell a lie No matter how I try It may hurt but I must speak the truth! VERSE 2: The many hearts I’ve broken The self-esteem I’ve shaken The ones who’ve broken down and cried I won’t advise you fake it When you cannot make it The truth I just can’t hide CHORUS: Oh no ‘Cos I cannot, cannot tell a lie No matter how I try I will only tell the truth Well, I cannot, cannot tell a lie No matter how I try It may hurt but I must speak the truth! But I must speak the truth!

SONG #5: QUEEN OF DIAMONDS PERFORMED BY: THE QUEEN VERSE 1: The hardest substance in the world Is forged through heat and stress A hidden lump of common coal In the earth’s red-hot caress It takes so much to look like this The people don’t know They think it must be an angel’s kiss That gives my face this glow The thousands I have spent on creams And lotions that restore The lengths I go to, the extremes For exterior décor CHORUS:

‘Cos I don’t need your garlands Or crowds when I depart I’d rather be the Queen of Diamonds Than the Queen of People’s Hearts

‘Cos I don’t need your garlands Or crowds when I depart I’d rather be the Queen of Diamonds Than the Queen of People’s Hearts VERSE 2: I start my day with Botox jabs With liposuction at noon And then it’s off to the doctor’s labs To make plums out of prunes I sleep in a chamber of oxygen And bathe with mineral water I’ll gladly trade a plastic surgeon For my own stepdaughter My teeth are porcelain veneer And Lasik for my eye If you delay each looming year Then death you can defy CHORUS: ‘Cos I don’t need your garlands Or crowds when I depart I’d rather be the Queen of Diamonds Than the Queen of People’s Hearts.

‘Cos I don’t need your garlands Or crowds when I depart I’d rather be the Queen of Diamonds Than the Queen of People’s Hearts.

SONG #6: SOMETHING WILD PERFORMED BY: SNOW WHITE AND PRINCE (AND NANNY) VERSE 1 : PRINCE: There’s something in the air So delicate and rare I hear the tigers purring The elephants are stirring Snow White: There’s something in the air You’ll feel it if you dare I see the hippo yawning Is this a kind of warning? CHORUS : Prince: It’s something wild Snow White: It’s something wild Prince and Snow White: It’s something wild, I can’t deny I’m growing wings And flying high It’s something wild Snow White: It’s something wild Prince and Snow White: It’s something wild, I can’t deny I’m growing wings And flying high (Nanny exits) VERSE 2: Prince: Why does the peacock spread its tail? How does one be an alpha male? What explains the bower bird’s nest Or locking horns just to impress? Snow White: The breath is like a butterfly That flutters sweetly in the sky The heart is like an untamed horse That gallops on its destined course CHORUS : Prince: It’s something wild Snow White: It’s something wild Prince and Snow White: It’s something wild, I can’t deny I’m growing wings And flying high It’s something wild Snow White: It’s something wild Prince and Snow White: It’s something wild, I can’t deny I’m growing wings And flying high Flying high Flying high

SONG #7: MIRROR, MIRROR PERFORMED BY: QUEEN AND MIRROR QUEEN & MIRROR: Mirror mirror on the wall Mirror mirror on the wall Mirror mirror on the wall Who’s the fairest of them all VERSE 1: Queen: Tell me now tell me quick I’ll close the door with a click. Magic Mirror: What I’ll say is nothing new It’s old news just like you Queen: Did you just call me old? Aren’t you being a little bold? Magic Mirror: I meant to say you make the news. I’ll have to ask to be excused. Pre-CHORUS : Queen: Stroke my ego With a word Sing my praises Like a bird Magic Mirror: Do I really Have a choice? Even a songbird Loses its voice CHORUS: Queen: Mirror mirror on the wall Who’s the fairest of them all? Magic Mirror: The same old routine every night I guess that’ll have to be Snow… Queen: Mirror mirror on the wall Who’s the fairest of them all? Magic Mirror: The same old routine every night I guess that’ll have to be Snow (starts sneezing violently) VERSE 2: Queen: (Ai yo!) What’s the matter? Are you ill? I haven’t even had my fill! Magic Mirror: We’ll have to do a second take I just need a little break Queen: Do you think I’m too cold You better do what you are told Magic Mirror: With you I think hell would freeze Oh did you feel a breeze Pre-CHORUS: Queen: Tell me once more

To my face No one can ever Take my place Magic Mirror: Will you let me Have a rest? Fine I‘ll tell you You are the best CHORUS: Queen: Mirror mirror on the wall Who’s the fairest of them all? Magic Mirror: The same old routine every night I guess that’ll have to be Snow… Queen: (Oy!) Mirror, mirror on the wall Who’s the fairest of them all? MIRROR: You my Queen, it’s true, you are fair fight But the fairest of them all is Snow White!

SONG #8: I’LL NEVER SMILE AGAIN PERFORMED BY: SNOW WHITE VERSE 1: I’ve had this face for eighteen years The only one I know I’ve seen it shining streaked with tears Just like pure melted snow So why put me through this ordeal When I have never asked? To get a look that’s their ideal I’m putting on a mask CHORUS: Why am I different? Am I the only one? I’m not afraid of pain Yet when it’s done I fear I’ll never smile again VERSE 2: I’ve had this face since I was born The only one I know All the expressions I have worn I can no longer show Why take away these laughter lines That dance around my eyes? Why ask me to disown what’s mine And put on a mask? BRIDGE: The nose is not a bridge The eye is not a ball The mouth is not a rosebud The forehead not a wall The ear is not a handle The cheek is not a hill The skin is not like plasticine To mold just as you will CHORUS: Oh, why am I different? Am I the only one? I’m not afraid of pain Yet when it’s done I fear I’ll never smile again I’ll never smile again

SONG #9: DWARFS INTRO (ANY OLD THING) PERFORMED BY: SEVEN DWARFS ALL: Any old thing, any old thing will do Any old thing, any old thing will do CHORUS: BUI BUI, DORKY, WEEPY: Rag and bone Ice cream cone BLONDIE, HIDEY, JESSE, LISPY: Ringing tone Of a telephone A bulb that’s blown BUI BUI, DORKY, WEEPY: Toy trombone ALL: Just anything old will do GIRLS: Anything old will do (BOYS: Anything old will do) GIRLS: Anything old will do (BOYS: Anything old will do) GIRLS: Anything old will do (BOYS: Anything old) ALL: Just anything old will do VERSE 1: BUI BUI: We’re dwarfs, we’re hunting in the trash WEEPY: And making a hullabaloo DORKY: We don’t need all that’s new and fresh GIRLS: Just any old thing will do! GIRLS: What’s useless we will find its use JESSE & LISPY: What’s dirty can be cleaned till it’s new ALL: And when we’re digging through refuse Just any thing else will do! CHORUS: BUI BUI, DORKY, WEEPY: Rag and bone Ice cream cone BLONDIE, HIDEY, JESSE, LISPY: Ringing tone Of a telephone A bulb that’s blown BUI BUI, DORKY, WEEPY: Toy trombone ALL: Just anything old will do GIRLS: Anything old will do (BOYS: Anything old will do) GIRLS: Anything old will do (BOYS: Anything old will do) GIRLS: Anything old will do (BOYS: Anything old) ALL: Just anything old will do GIRLS: Anything old will do (BOYS: Anything old will do) GIRLS: Anything old will do (BOYS: Anything old will do) GIRLS: Anything old will do (BOYS: Anything old) ALL: Just anything old will do

SONG #10: DON’T FREAK WITH ME (RAP) PERFORMED BY: SEVEN DWARFS Blondie: They’d tease me when I was in school But I would never lose my cool One kid would start, and all would follow All: Yellow, yellow dirty fellow! Blondie: Now, listen up, it’s not my fault I got this dye-job by default How can you say it looks like pee I’m telling you, don’t freak with me! Dorky: They tell me that I’ve got no groove But that’s a lie, I’ve got my moves So wipe that grin and hold that laugh You haven’t seen me strut my stuff Freestyle dancing, b-boy pose My middle name is twinkle toes I’ve got rhythm, plain to see You know it, so don’t freak with me CHORUS: (ALL) So don’t be fanatic It’s all genetic Stop your critique It’s my physique Hey calling us names Is just pathetic Don’t freak with me Cos I’m no freak I’m just unique Don’t freak with me Jesse: You look at me with such distress When all I do is wear a dress It takes a man with balls of steel To walk around in six inch heels Your girlfriend wants to look like me But I don’t deal with wannabes I know it’s all just jealousy So move along, don’t freak with me Weepy: The window wipers of your soul Are tears, that’s what I have been told But when my feelings are unlocked I’m like a car wash round the clock (Pause) Weepy: Sorry…I can’t go on. It’s too overwhelming. I need a moment. Sorry.

(Pause) CHORUS: (ALL) So don’t be fanatic It’s all genetic Stop your critique It’s my physique Hey calling us names Is just pathetic Don’t freak with me Cos I’m no freak I’m just unique Don’t freak with me Lispy: She thells thea shells on the thea shore Thee that wath a perfect thcore I don’t thpeak funny, it juth appearth That you might need to clean your ear-th Thtop making fun of how I thpeak Don’t tell me that it all thoundth Greek She thells thea shells by the thea Check that out, don’t freak with me! Buibui: I find your fat jokes really lame You tell them like you’ve got no shame Hidey: When I was young I wasn’t shy But now in crowds I’d rather die Buibui: But I don’t need no love from you Not when I’m hanging with this crew Hidey: Cos this is where we all fit in And we’ll be here through thick… (pause, looks at Buibui) Buibui: ...and thin! CHORUS: (ALL) So don’t be fanatic It’s all genetic Stop your critique It’s my physique Hey calling us names Is just pathetic Don’t freak with me Cos I’m no freak I’m just unique Don’t freak with me

SONG #11: A LIST OF POISONS PERFORMED BY: QUEEN (AND MAGIC MIRROR) VERSE 1: Queen: This red apple in my hand Does look quite irresistible But if all goes as I have planned It won’t be so digestible A list of poisons I’ve procured From all the corners of the land A mandrake that is well matured An arrow frog’s venomous glands QUEEN & MIRROR: Screams of a damsel in distress A strand of spider’s silk Earwax from a giantess From China, powdered milk CHORUS: Mirror: If you’re a diamond, she’s a pearl It shouldn’t cause you any harm She’s just an ordinary girl She never meant you any harm VERSE 2: QUEEN: You don’t know anything do you? This girl will take my throne one day She represents all that is new I’m showing her I’m here to stay A list of poisons I’ve obtained From all the corners of the land The essence of a monkey’s brain A handful of volcanic sand QUEEN & MIRROR: Beads of sweat from a forehead wide Some lightning that will make you wince Detergent for uniforms white A red shirt from a dragon prince CHORUS: Mirror: If you’re a diamond, she’s a pearl It shouldn’t cause you any alarm She’s just an ordinary girl She never meant you any harm

SONG #12: LOVE AT SECOND SIGHT PERFORMED BY: PRINCE VERSE 1: You came into my life Like a gust of morning breeze I’ve only seen you twice Both times were really nice You really made me feel at ease You walked into my world Like the first steps of Spring Whatever I did see Is now a memory Our hearts connected by a string CHORUS: You were my second wing And my restless heart’s delight What if I hear you sing And ask if you’re Snow White? You were my second wing And my restless heart’s delight Is there really such a thing As love at second sight? VERSE 2: I dream of you ev’ry night In your white and shining dress The twinkle in your eye Like starlight in the sky That laughter only you possess Don’t let my eyes betray When you pass my way again Don’t let me be deceived I want you to believe The thought of you is what sustains CHORUS: You were my second wing And my restless heart’s delight What if I hear you sing And ask if you’re Snow White? You were my second wing And my restless heart’s delight Is there really such a thing As love at second sight? Is there really such a thing As love at second sight?

SONG #13: AN APPLE A DAY PERFORMED BY: QUEEN AND SNOW WHITE Queen: There’ll be no more junk for you It’s time to eat nutritiously Please listen to my words they’re true Choose your meals judiciously Snow White: Your words are all very sound I’ve eaten mouldy custard We eat whatever we have found Our stomachs we have adjusted Queen: Treat yourself to just a bite This scrumptious fruit grew ripe for you You still have an appetite Rejecting this just will not do Snow White: If you don’t mind I’d like to wait I think the dwarfs should have some Tonight they might be working late We’ll sit around until they come CHORUS: Queen: An apple a day Keeps the doctor away And if you have two Then the surgeons too If you eat three Then you’ll be free Of aches and pains And muscle sprains Your hair will grow Your skin will glow! Snow White: As much as I like apples I fear you do exaggerate I need my proteins and staples For my share of carbohydrates Queen: But this one’s really special, girl It takes expertise to grow I’ve traveled all around the world You’ll have to try it to know Snow White: The dwarfs will be home very soon Queen: Not until you see the moon Snow White: I really think that I should share Queen: I have a whole sack full to spare

Snow White: But if it’s free then what’s the catch? Queen: You have an itch, now here’s the scratch CHORUS: Queen: An apple a day Keeps the doctor away And if you have two Then the surgeons too If you eat three Then you’ll be free Of aches and pains And muscle sprains Your hair will grow Your skin will glow! Queen: An apple a day Keeps the doctor away (SNOW WHITE: It looks so sweet) And if you have two (SNOW WHITE: Red and…) Then the surgeons too (SNOW WHITE: … juicy) If you eat three (SNOW WHITE: One bite may not hurt) Then you’ll be free (SNOW WHITE: Perhaps) Of aches and pains And muscle sprains Your hair will grow Your skin will glow! Now have an apple today! (SNOW WHITE: I’ll have an apple today!)

SONG #14: ALL WE HAVE IS A SONG PERFORMED BY: SEVEN DWARVES HIDEY: You’ve been our Queen for just so long The only Queen we’ve known You’ve soothed us often with your songs Your kindness you have shown BLONDIE: So why must you be stricken down When you have done no wrong? BUI BUI: We haven’t even made your crown GIRLS: All we have is a song CHORUS: ALL: Awake our gracious Queen Your subjects wait for you You’re looking so serene But there’s so much to do Awake our gracious Queen Why are you stricken down We haven’t even made your crown All we have is a song DORKY: You’ve never bothered with our flaws JESSE: You’ve given back our pride WEEPY: Your eyes were mirrors where we saw LISPY: The beauty that’s inside BOYS: When will you wake to see the dawn And walk among the dew? We can’t imagine going on In a world without you CHORUS: ALL: Awake our gracious Queen Your subjects wait for you You’re looking so serene But there’s so much to do Awake our gracious Queen Why are you stricken down We haven’t even made your crown All we have is a song HIDEY: We haven’t even made your crown ALL: All we have is a song

SONG #15: WELCOME TO OUR KINGDOM (REPRISE) PERFORMED BY: COMPANY ALL: Ah…Ah… Ah… Ah-Ah… Ah… Ah… Ah...Ah VERSE 1: PRINCE: If you’re born with a face Only a mother could love And each night that you pray For some help from above SNOW WHITE: Don’t despair, stop looking so blue Over here there’s no one to judge you So step out, with a smile No one can, cramp your style Cos there’s only one of you! CHORUS: ALL: Welcome, welcome to our kingdom It’s here that’s where the outside doesn’t matter Welcome, welcome to our kingdom It’s not what you wear But just how much you care That’s all that matters! VERSE 2: NANNY: If you’re born in a place Where they’re jealous and mean We’ll fix you up for a meet With our fabulous Queen SNOW WHITE: Don’t despair, stop looking so blue Over here there’s no one to judge you QUEEN: So step out, with a smile No one can, cramp your style Cos there’s only one of you! CHORUS: Welcome, welcome to our kingdom It’s here that’s where the outside doesn’t matter Welcome, welcome to our kingdom If you’re dirty or clean If you’re fat or you’re lean It doesn’t matter! Welcome to our kingdom