How To

GM: HOW TO...

madam joyless

HIPPY MYSTIC and curmudgeonly 50s pop cultural warrior Van Morrison is lauded as one of pop’s finest songwriters. A troubled Celtic troubadour locked in the fug of 1970s California despite living in North Down, his style is difficult to emulate. Or is it?

INTRO Strum malevolently... on a ukulele VERSE

Counterpoint utopian nature of the past with Celtic lament of the piece: (Wails) ‘Way back, back, back, way back/ way back/ back, back back in days gone by...’ Refer to jazz/ blues/ country legend who clashes with your primitive Celtic spirit ‘When Big Joe Turner rumbled from the radio/ Woody and Wolf and Buck Wheat Zydeco...’

CHORUS Self piteous lament for crapness of success,

‘Not as good now as it was then/ Dharma Bums and Kerouac’s Zen/ Flute bands and Woody Guthrie/ Lord, lord, lordy lord, Why am I so lonely?’

Stop singing in mid-Atlantic drawl and add Belfast references in thick Ulster accent ‘I was eatin’ a pasty bap and Paris buns/ By the cinema down the old Creggagh Road...’

Gratuitous harmonica and/or saxophone solo Add a dash of Georgie Fame and/or Brian Kennedy harmony Repeat for 4mins 56secs