Hostile Language
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
What would make you angry? YOU PISSED OFF MOTHER FUCKER!
SHUT UP YOU DIRTY SLUT!
OPEN YOUR EYES CHINK!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Categorizing Hostile Vocabulary
• Curse Words • Ethnic Slurs Insults • Sexual What did those hostile • Words that attack a person based on race, gender, ethnicity, culture, religion (or lack words have inage, common? there-of), gender identity, disability, language ability, ideology, social class, occupation, appearance, and mental capacity.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Categorizing Hostile Vocabulary
• Curse Words • Ethnic Slurs • Sexual Insults • Words that attack a person based on race,
gender, ethnicity, culture, age, religion (or lack there-of), gender identity, disability, language ability, ideology, social class, occupation, appearance, and mental capacity.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Hostile words are obvious. What forms of hostility are less obvious?
• Tone • Sarcasm • Verbal Attack Pattern • Body Language • Facial Expressions Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Examples of Tone / Sarcasm • Stop whining, AT LEAST YOU still have another chance. • That’s the stupidest thing I ever HEARD in my entire LIFE. • YOU’VE been slacking off again, HAVEN’T YOU? • SOME people would be ANGRY even if I had already explained the SITUATION to THEM.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Verbal Attack Pattern • VAP = Hostile bait + less obvious hostility “If you really cared about your health, you wouldn’t eat so much!” • VAP’s usually have a non-hostile counterpart. “Please be careful about what you eat. I’m worried about your health.”
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Body Language
• picture will go here
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Facial Expressions
• picture will go here
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Is hostile language bad?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Is hostile language bad? Hostile language can hurt personal health. Verbal hostilities lead to physical ones. Your emotional skills allow you to get promoted! A legacy for the future. Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Why do you find yourself using hostile language?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
It’s a necessary evil • We can’t transmit negative messages without hostile language.
• We can’t motivate people and keep them on track without hostile language.
• Being hostile is being human. • We can’t give up hostile language because it keeps us from going on to hostile action.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
X
It’s a necessary evil • We can’t transmit negative messages without hostile language.
• We can’t motivate people and keep them on track without hostile language.
• Being hostile is being human. • We can’t give up hostile language because it keeps us from going on to hostile action.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Hostile Language and Metaphors 84-85 Conflict is war like a battle with a winner and a loser People try to win arguments as if they were battles instead of solving the problem and addressing the core issues
some people live by other metaphors sometimes these metaphors clash
football field v. classroom Wednesday, November 11, 2009
The Truth
• Hostile language is the easy way. Not the best way to deliver messages or the most effective.
• “The sin of sloth” • We have alternative ways to motivate
people and transmit negative messages.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
The Alternative there is hope
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Negative Messages How to say negative messages without being hostile
Step 1: Understand the groups of negative messages bad news, incorrect facts, disagreeing judgment, disagreeing opinion
Step 2: Understand the Satir Modes blaming, placating, computing, leveling, distracting,
Step 3: Avoid Blamer and Placater Mode Step 4: When appropriate Level, otherwise Compute
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
What to do if faced with hostile language. Detach yourself!
• Why are they being hostile? •
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Ignorance, need for attention, need for excitement
Use Non-Violent Communication Instead
When you ( said | did ) _________ I felt ________ because ____________________. -- and remember to listen
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Recognize VAP’s Don’t respond to the bait! Don’t continue the cycle of VAP’s!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
THE END
or is it?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
still not over
• let’s watch a clip from Lie to Me
Wednesday, November 11, 2009