Guidelines For Life (happy Kids)

Ready Set Happy

Fun, skill-building activities for children, their parents, caregivers, teachers, and all of us, based on the...

v1.5ENG5Mar09 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

Ready Set Happy

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Note from the Foundation for Developing Compassion and Wisdom (FDCW)

Children: You may skip to page I-4

This publication, Ready Set Happy, is part of the Children's Kit, a set of materials to support children and their families to develop compassion and wisdom, by integrating the 16 Guidelines for Life into their lives. The Kit was created to enable adults to present the Guidelines to children aged 7-11 years of any faith tradition or none worldwide, or for use by children reading on their own. The Kit is being made available for pilot use with an invitation to contribute feedback and additional material. It will grow to include additional stories, songs, meditations, images and other activities. It will be evaluated and revised prior to further dissemination and translation. Ready Set Happy was commissioned as a part of Essential Education (EE), an international initiative to help people everywhere develop their natural capacity to be kind and wise. This will be achieved by providing resources, training and support for use in a wide variety of settings: schools, the workplace, prisons, hospices, the home – wherever people live and learn. EE is an initiative of the Foundation for Developing Compassion and Wisdom.

Feedback/Contact Please contact us with your reflections, suggestions, success stories, quotes from children, ideas for activities and resources related to the16 Guidelines for Life. You can join the mailing list at www.essential-education.org, send an email to [email protected] or write to Alison Murdoch, Director, Foundation for Developing Compassion and Wisdom, 43 Renfrew Road, London SE11 4NA. Please note this is RSH edition number: v1.5ENG5Mar09.

Ready Set Happy First Published in Great Britain in 2008 by Essential Education, an initiative of the Foundation for Developing Compassion and Wisdom 43 Renfrew Road, London SE11 4NA © Foundation for Developing Compassion and Wisdom, March 2008

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Gratitude to all those who helped to make Ready Set Happy possible.

Thanks to all those who helped by being photographed.

Those who helped in other ways: Illustrations, poems, plays, chants, photos, songs, activities, graphic design, initial sound recording and text by Denise Flora with help from Caeman Toombs (several photos with permission by Lindsay Stark or others as noted, some activities from earlier EE projects). First field tests by the children at Kadampa Center, USA. Editing by Wendy Ridley, FDCW. Project supervision by Nova Coleman, Information Officer for FDCW. Project direction by Alison Murdoch, Director of FDCW. Operational support for EE initiatives by Terrapinn.

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Ready Set Happy

Contents Introduction

Meet the Character Guides Activities Games, poetry, chants, science experiments, art projects, puzzles, and more to experience, practice and live these 16 skills:

Part I:

Part IV: How we find Meaning in Life steadies us in a changing world. 13 14 15 16

How we Think determines how we feel inside ourselves.

Principles Aspiration Service Courage

1 2 3 4

Part III:

Part II: How we Act impacts on ourselves and others.

How we Relate to Others connects us to our community. 9 10 11 12

Humility Patience Contentment Delight

5 6 7 8

Respect Forgiveness Gratitude Responsibility

Kindness Honesty Generosity Thoughtful Speech

Extras A way to begin:

One family's experience with the 16 Guidelines

A1

One page summaries:

Definitions, Chants, Song Links and more

A2

Coloring sheets/Gamecards:

Pages to print for the matching activities

A3

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Introduction To the children: Ready Set Happy is full of things to try, do, draw, play, make, read, say, act, sing and learn that can help you to be happy more of the time. Try some of the games with your friends or family. The Character Guides on the next page will help you along. Check out the activities and have fun!

To the parents and caregivers: Happiness is a skill that can be learned. Give this book to your children, or explore it with them, maybe an hour a week for 16 weeks so you reflect on one guideline per week. Enjoy the plays, poems, art projects, science experiments, puzzles, games, the Instant Replay review questions, the process and the results! To teach by example, put these16 guidelines into practice yourselves – modelling and enjoying the skill of happiness!

To the teachers: These activities targeted for ages 7-11 years can be adapted for individual or groups of children in a broader range of ages. They are intended to develop skills that can help children to be happier. Use in school, spiritual and religious classes, after-school clubs, playgroups, home schooling, anywhere children gather to learn about the world. Get creative! Make it your own.

To all: order, conventions and more Using the sections 'in order' is recommended but not required. 'Try it now' activities take about half an hour or less. 'Try it for real' activities get carried into daily life and often span a week. The Positive Chants of the character guides are to be spoken or sung over and over, emphasizing bold syllables while chanting. For more on how to begin, see Appendix 1. See Appendix 2 for one page summaries. For the latest audio files, click on the purple note symbol or go to http://www.16guidelines.org/wiki/index.php/Ready_Set_Happy . Print all pages in color for best results. Save paper by printing multiple pdf pages to a single page of paper. Links will move/break -- that's life. Please let us know with an email to [email protected], and realize, everything changes. To learn more about EE go to www.essential-education.org . For much more about what people all over the world are doing with the guidelines, including the new wiki, or to read more about the guidelines themselves, go to http://www.16guidelines.org.

May all who see this work find more happiness in their lives for themselves and their families, communities, and world. Denise Flora USA February 2008

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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How we Think

Meet the Character Guides

Peglo Patience

Cona Contentment

Deba Delight

Kaipo Kindness

Hodi Honesty

Genca Generosity

Spibu Thoughtful-Speech

Resco Respect

Fola Forgiveness

Graca Gratitude

Riche Responsibility

Prindi Principles

Asta Aspiration

Serzo Service

Cofi Courage

How we find Meaning

How we Relate

How we Act

Hutri Humility

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Part I : How we Think 1 Humility 2 Patience

Let me think.

3 Contentment

How do I feel about that?

4 Delight

How we think... determines how we feel inside ourselves.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Guideline 1 : Humility

► Humility

1

► Patience ► Contentment ► Delight ► Kindness ► Honesty ► Generosity ► Thoughtful Speech ► Respect ► Forgiveness ► Gratitude ► Responsibility ► Principles ► Aspiration ► Service ► Courage 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Character Guide: Hutri Humility

Hutri learns

. means.. y it il m Hu iet i ng a qu s s e s s o P al l ows h c i h w h strengt rn from a e l o t us s keep s u , y d o b d, every oo prou t g n i e from b not i nds us m e r d an s if r act a o k n i h n to t ter tha t e b e r we a eopl e. other p

from all and knows that each leaf is important to help the tree.

Positive Chants from each guide will help you to remember the most important ideas. Say these over and over to remember them.

Each of you gives me a lesson.

After three classes of learning about Humility and chanting “Each of you gives me a lesson,” a young student named Lilli said with a smile, “That is stuck in my head!” And I said, “That's just where I want it because that's where it can do the most good!” 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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What a Waste ! a short play about two waste collectors to be read aloud by two people

Jo: I'm tired of this job.

Alex: What's the problem?

It used to be fun driving the truck. Now I just don't want to do it. Yeah, when it's not hot, or cold, or raining....and I have to get up so early! And worst of all, people say, “Oh, you're a waste collector,” like I'm waste myself. I've had it.

Well, it's nice to be outside all day...

I think our job is one of the most important in the city. Are you crazy? Important?

(thinking, then smiling): What has four wheels and flies?

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

Sure! Imagine if no one took this all away. The city would smell terrible and shut down. It happened once when a storm closed the roads. Sure, it may not be fun work, but it's really important. Different people take care of other things we need; I take care of this. It's my city, and I help keep it clean. You do, too.

Our city-cleaning waste and recycling truck!

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Humility Activities

Try it now: Illusions -are things always what they seem? Have you seen an optical illusion, such as a picture where straight lines seem curved, or the shape which looks like a face then a vase? I wonder if you have seen a road on a hot day that looked like it had water on it, but when you got closer it was dry. Right side up? Upside down?

Our eyes can play tricks on us and so can our minds. Sometimes we think we know something and then we realize we don't. Optical illusions can be fun if they are special effects in a movie or in a magic show. But sometimes the tricks our minds play cause us to be unhappy. They can make us think someone is trying to be difficult when they really are not. Or they give us the feeling we are the only important person in a situation. Here is an experiment to try as you think about what you really know, and how you decide you know it:

Experiment:

Broken Straw

Get a clear glass with smooth sides. Fill it halfway with water. Put in something straight like a straw or a stick. Hold the glass up so you are looking at the same level as the water. Does it look like the straight object is bent or broken at the surface? Do you think it really is? Could it be that the object breaks and rejoins when you take it out? Are you sure? How do you KNOW? Try other liquids like corn syrup or vinegar, is it any different? Which is bigger, the list of things you know or the list of things you don't know?

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: Meet the 'How we Think' Guides. Sixteen character guides will each help you to learn about a guideline that starts with the same sound as their name. The ‘How we Think’ guides are Hutri Humility, Peglo Patience, Cona Contentment, and Deba Delight. The last syllable of many of their first names has something to do with their shapes. I wonder if you can guess that connection for each one....the answer is at the end of this Humility section.

Art Project:

1234

Print out the drawing (page A3-1) of the four ‘How we Think’ characters. Color the page as you think about if you are already being humble, patient, content, and delighted or if you could practice a little more. Glue the page to thicker paper if you have it, then cut along the lines to make four cards to use in the game below..

Story:

King Harmen

Read a fable that introduces all 16 of the Character Guides: “The Gift of King Harmen” here or at http://www.16guidelines.org/wiki/index.php/For_Children

Game:

Matching/Concentration

Make two sets of cards in the Art Project above. The thicker paper is important so you can't see through the back side of the cards. Play the matching game ‘Concentration’ by placing all the cards face down, taking turns turning over two at a time to try to find the same characters. If you find a match, say something about the guideline before you take up the set. You could give an example of when you or someone else showed that quality this week, or when you wish you had. Keep taking turns until all pairs are matched. In later activities you will make more cards to use to play this game. Try it as a cooperative game and see how few turns you need to match them all. When you finish playing put the cards up on the wall or fridge, one at a time, to keep one guideline in mind each week. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: Improve your 'Vision'. Your mind is your window to the world. You experience everything through your mind, your outlook, your attitude, your assumptions, and your knowledge. You can improve your mind, your attention, and what you notice.

Game:

Trained Observer

Wherever you are, stop reading and look around you right now, soaking it all in, then come back. Close your eyes and make a mental list of everything you saw. Take your time. Open your eyes and see what you missed. Practice and you will improve! You could play this as a game where one person studies the area, then closes their eyes. The second person asks a question that would be easy to answer if eyes were open. Take turns. See if you can improve your ability to notice details before you close your eyes.

Try it for real: Each of you gives me a lesson. This week see if you can keep in mind that every person you meet (and maybe some of the animals and plants) has a lesson for you personally. Put aside what you think you know about them so you can see what that lesson is. You may not think that the person who is slow to do something you want done right now is being your teacher, but you have a choice to see this as a way to practice patience. The people doing simple jobs around you have just as much to teach as those with the most exciting jobs. Tall trees survive a long time because each leaf humbly does its job. Look around. Listen. Learn. Start a journal to record your thoughts. You may be surprised by what you have learned by the end of these activities. Contact us to share what you learned. We would LOVE to hear from you. You can reach us at [email protected] or the mailing address in the introductory pages. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: As if our work were great and noble Helen Keller, USA, a tireless campaigner for the disabled and others said, “I long to accomplish great and noble tasks, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble.” You may have chores or jobs to do this week. Can you start to train your mind to think of the benefit they bring and the honor of doing them? I wonder if you can act great and noble while doing them. If it helps, imagine yourself wearing a crown or medals on your chest. This takes time, so don't worry if it doesn't work right away. The important thing is to make a little progress. When we tried this at my house we didn't transform the first time, but we did laugh a little as we sang, “Here comes the queen, here comes the king!” as we emptied the trash.

Try it for real: Many versions of reality

Experiment:

20 words

Do you know who you are? This might seem a silly question. Ask five people who know you to write who you are in 20 words or less. Don't give them more information than that. Before you read what they have written, write down your own description of yourself.

The friends, teachers, and family members we asked to try this experiment all wrote positive things (they knew we would be reading it!) yet each had a different point of view and mentioned at least one thing that no one else listed. Some comments even seemed opposites. For example, one person said “keen observer”, which means noticing everything, while another called the same child “absent-minded” which means so deep in thought as to not notice anything...

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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"I didn't know they would think of that word to describe me."

At times when the children read the “Who are You?” responses they said, "That definitely describes me," while other times they said, "I didn't know they would think of that word to describe me." Most descriptions did not involve unchangeable physical characteristics, but were focused on how we act. “So, if I want to change who I am, I can just change how I act!” one child said. How empowering!

When you try this I wonder if you will learn that who 'you' are is not set, not exact and may even be the opposite depending on who you ask. You can relax and don't need to boast or defend the idea of 'you', because the idea of 'you' is very flexible. Don’t be stuck in an old view of you, you are free to evolve, grow, improve, aspire.

Story:

Blind Men and the Elephant

You might like to read the story “The Blind Men and the Elephant,” from your library or online at a link like these: http://www.spiritual-education.org/blindmenelephants.pdf or http://www.jainworld.com/education/stories25.asp . Many versions of this story exist. How many can you find? It is a story about how

seven blind men each touching a different part of an elephant thought it was seven different things. We often understand only a small portion of reality but think or act as if we understand it all. See if you can notice a time this week when you and a friend have a different point of view about something.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Instant Replay for Humility:

Who can you learn from? Who can you teach? Why?

What is a way to be happier about doing jobs you don't want to do?

What questions do you have about Humility?

Who are you? Who do others say you are?

Can practice improve a person's mind?

Is there anyone you can't learn from?

What kind of jobs are important?

I wonder if you think the photo with the big trees was a good choice to represent 'Humility'.

What might people mean when they say, “things aren't always what they seem”?

Answer to the character guide name/shape connection-Hutri He's part of a tree, doing humble, important work to help make food. Peglo He's a globe, mostly water, symbol of tolerance and unity. Seasons come in their own time. Cona Apple starts with 'A', a simple, natural, healthy food, and the Spanish word for apple is manzana, and Deba She's a balloon, symbol for celebration, the only purpose of which is to bring delight! The group symbol for How we Think is a thought bubble called Pensa, from the Spanish 'pensar' meaning 'to think'. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Guideline 2 : Patience

► Humility ► Patience

2

► Contentment ► Delight ► Kindness ► Honesty ► Generosity ► Thoughtful Speech ► Respect ► Forgiveness ► Gratitude ► Responsibility ► Principles ► Aspiration ► Service ► Courage 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Character Guide: Peglo Patience

Peglo waits calmly,

ns... nce mea

Patie

i me. g our t n i k a t ns Cal ml y reacti o r u o g n lli r Contro p i ng ou e e k d n a f mi nd. o e c a e p rni ng ant, l ea r e l o t ons Bei ng condi ti l i t n u s. to wai t change r o f t h are ri g y. i versi t d g n i u l Va

trusting changes take time. He values each life and the planet.

Positive Chants from each guide will help you to remember the most important ideas. Say these over and over to remember them.

I'm like water, patient, still, searching for the path downhill.

Water is always looking for the path to flow on its way, always ready to move when conditions are right, but it is calm and still while it waits. The surface of the earth is mostly water, and we are mostly water, too, about 70%, so go with the flow!

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Poetry Pillars Points of View (how we think... about a book on medicinal plants)

A book on plants, a simple thing, it sits right next to me. You'd think on what it really is we'd easily agree. But like so many bigger things we don't all see the same, each viewer who describes the book may choose a different name.

Patience Puzzle

This book is called 'a mountain' to an ant upon the ground. Doc Jo might say it's 'medicine' to cure a snake-bit hound.

Am I the only one to judge what's real in what I see? or can I pause and take a breath or maybe two or three?

Some bugs would eat the book for lunch. I'd rather read an hour. My dad said, “Use it as a tool to press a special flower.”

For if I practice patience now, not rushing to my view, I may just learn another has a point that's also true.

My brother said, “Think what it was while it was still a tree. And think of how it looks today and what will someday be.”

So tell me what the world is like from where you are today and if I do the same for you we'll both know more that way.

So if we rip some pages out and tear off half the back at what point is the 'bookness' gone and what will bring it back?

And if we ask some others who are from another place we'll gain another piece of truth with each new voice and face.

Can it be tree and cure and food? What's real about this book? It may take many points of view And not just my first look!

So keep your patience ready as you name what fills your view. The truth comes unassembled and the rest is up to you!

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Patience Activities Try it now: I'm Melting! This is an activity to help you learn more about yourself. Experiment :

Mental Meltdown

Put a small ice cube on a plate in front of you. How long do you think it will take to melt? Make a guess and write it down. If you do it with a friend you can see who guesses closest. If you don't have an ice cube put some sand in a bag then make a small hole in the bag so it leaks out very slowly. Can you guess how long it will take to empty? Use a clock or count the seconds out loud. Watch to see how long this really takes. Not only are you watching the ice cube or sand, you are watching your own mind. Do you get fidgety? Is it hard to concentrate? Maybe it is easy for you. I wonder what you notice about the thoughts that drift into your head. So much is going on in there! Are you surprised how your mind bounces from one thing to the next? How close was your guess to the right time? If you try it again you will probably get closer, and you may concentrate better, too, but it does take practice!

Try it now: Brain control

18 ... 19 ... 20 ! You can play this game with a friend, or you can do it by yourself and try to beat your own score.

Game: 20 Breaths Sit comfortably on the floor or in a chair, but don't lie down, you might get so relaxed you fall asleep! See if you can breathe normally and count your breaths. Breathe in, out, one. Breathe in, out, two. Try to count to 20 breaths. How many breaths can you count before you lose your concentration and forget where you are? This is harder than it sounds!

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: Variety Garden Sometimes we get impatient with people who are different from us, or judge them before we even know them. Here is an activity to show the value of differences.

Art Project:

Diversity

Gather some colored pencils, or crayons or paints. Draw three pictures of a garden of flowers one picture using only one color crayon, the second with two colors, and the third with as many colors as you like. What do you notice about each of the three pictures?

Try it for real: Watch yourself! This week I wonder if you can catch yourself being impatient. If you have to wait for anything or anyone, use “Brain Control” to help you wait patiently. If you are impatient when someone speaks an opinion different from yours, remember “Variety Garden” and how boring it would be if everyone were the same. Remember the poem “Points of View” in this section and the chant “Each of You Gives me a Lesson” from Humility. What can this person’s point of view teach you? Listen actively and openly. By noticing when you are impatient you will begin to feel more patient. The Dalai Lama, a well known Buddhist leader living in exile said, “Many people think that to be patient is a sign of weakness. I think that is a mistake. It is anger that is a sign of weakness.” Impatient moments come and go like the seasons. If you are in an argument and you notice your impatience, smile to yourself. You are evolving. You have taken a step in a better direction.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: Tread lightly. For billions of years the earth has been here, patiently turning, sustaining us. Many lives exist on this planet dependent on the change of seasons. Each life is precious, and we do not want to waste what we have so we need to tread lightly on this earth. Use this week to think how you can reduce what is wasted, reuse rather than throw away, and recycle. Can you buy things with less packaging? Can you turn off lights or running water you are not using? Can you write notes or print from the computer on the back of used paper instead of getting a new sheet? Can you recycle something you have been throwing away? Can you walk or cycle instead of going by car? Can you help so food does not get wasted or start a recycling program at your school? Can you pick up waste that might be dangerous to wildlife? Think of something you can do where you are. Then do it!! If you are living a simple life and there are no changes to make, be patient with the rest of us. Changes take time, so have patience.

Try it for real: Be like Water.

Experiment:

Go with the flow

If possible, watch the water coming out of a garden hose. Spray the water watching how the drops gather where they land. How do they move after that? Do they run uphill or down? Do they go around objects or over them? In curved lines or straight? You can also do this experiment in a container or in the sink to save water.

As you go through the week, if you notice yourself feeling frustrated about something you are trying to do but just can’t do (like getting that low note on your trombone, or doing the butterfly kick at the swimming pool), don't stress out -- allow yourself to be patient. Maybe the conditions are not right yet. Take another path, keep going but try other ways to get to your goal. Keep building muscles, or knowledge, ask for help from a parent or caregiver, a friend, an expert. Don't give up, and you will make progress. Go with the flow!

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Instant Replay for Patience:

How busy is your mind even if you are resting?

What can you do if you feel impatient with a person or a situation?

What questions do you have about Patience?

What can you do to help tread lightly on this planet?

What might you do to improve your concentration?

How can being like water help you to be happier? Would you rather be in a classroom of people just like yourself or in a diverse group? Why?

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

I wonder if you think the photo of someone threading a needle was a good choice to represent 'Patience'.

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Do you feel inwardly stronger when you are angry or when you are patient?

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Guideline 3 : Contentment

► Humility

► Respect

► Patience

► Forgiveness

► Contentment

3

► Gratitude

► Delight

► Responsibility

► Kindness

► Principles

► Honesty

► Aspiration

► Generosity

► Service

► Thoughtful Speech

► Courage

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Character Guide: Cona Contentment

Cona appreciates s...

n ent mea m t n e t Con have

e ng al l w i t a i c e to Ap p r l ooki ng f o d a ant. i nste g we w n i h t t the nex joy . a qui et h t i w Li vi ng . Bal ance . n o i t a M oder i t. erdoi ng v o t o N

how much she has already, so she doesn't need to grab for more.

Positive chants from each guide will help you to remember the most important ideas. Say these over and over to remember them.

I have what I need, if I don't feed my greed.

Remember the fortune cookie that says, “It isn't our position but our disposition that makes us happy.”

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Belly Blues Song When I see something I like a lot I want to remember I'm glad for what I've got. If I don't look out, if I am unwise, I might take too much, and end up twice my size! Greedy makes me sorry. It gives me the blues. Take, take, take makes my tummy ache. (Take, take, take makes my tummy ache.)

I I I I IV IV I I V7 IV I I*

*Note:

These are the words/chords for a 12-bar blues song. Ask a music teacher to explain it to you. We are working on re-recording this and the chants. See Appendix 2 for updates, click the note symbol above or go to http://www.16guidelines.org/wiki/index.php/Ready_Set_Happy and click on Sound Files to hear the latest version of the Belly Blues and the 16 Positive Chants! If you want to play along, the Blues is in E (of course) and the Chants use C and Csus4. Where is that music teacher... 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Contentment Activities

Try it now: Cool... Clear... Water...

Photo by Caeman Toombs, 10yrs.

Experiment:

Not taking water for granted

Get two clean glasses of water as well as some soil from outside. Set one glass of water aside to drink later. Put a few scoops of soil into the other glass. Stir up the soil and IMAGINE while the dirt is swirling around that you don't have any clean water to drink. IMAGINE that you have to drink that water. Don't really drink it, but look at it. REALLY look at it. Put the dirty glass to the side and get the clean glass of water. Take your time and drink the clean water slowly. Appreciate it. Taste it. To practice your patience, watch the dirty glass until the soil settles to the bottom. Imagine your mind is calming as the water is clearing. When you are calm and the water is clear, pour out the dirty water onto a plant that can use it.

Aren't you glad you had a clean glass of water to drink? Realize that many people in the world do not have clean water to drink every day. If it was easy for you to get clean water you are very fortunate. Next time you are sad or angry because you can't have exactly what you want to drink, perhaps you can be content if clean clear water is available.

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Try it now: What's on your A List? People say that contentment is not getting everything you want, but realizing what you already have. Often people who win the lottery are only happier for a short time before settling back to their original happiness level. Try the game below to raise your happiness level for more than just a short time. That's better than winning the lottery! You have probably seen movies or read books where people realize what is important to them by almost losing it. They may get separated from their family and then be so happy when they get back together. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could feel that happiness without first having to feel the loss of separation? Game:

A

Counting Blessings

What is important to you? What would you be sad to lose? Think about, or write down, things in your life that you would be really happy to get back if you were separated from them. Call this your A list. To play this as a game, sit in a circle and take turns saying people or things on your A list. See how long you can go without repeating anything. It's fine to list toys and possessions, but don't forget family, and your physical gifts like sight, health, youth, and things you like to do or have learned, like how to read or walk!

While playing this game we learned we care about a lot of the same things. Then we learned we like drawing Cona!

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: Too much of a good thing

Imagine:

Built-in Goodness

Take your time to think of a favorite food of yours. Something that you really LOVE. Is this food good? Is it good by its very nature? Does it have goodness built in? Imagine you get this food every day for a week. Would it still be good? Good in the same way? What if it was the only food you ate for a week. For a month. How do you feel about it now?

At some point even your favorite food doesn't sound good anymore. The food itself is not good or bad, it is how you feel about it, and that is mostly in your mind. That doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy it when you get it – go ahead and enjoy! Be happy! But at those times when you can't have it, remember that it's not as deep down wonderful as you sometimes imagine. This is true of things other than food, too. One child said, “It's like winning at a game. It's fun to win, but if you win all the time it's just boring.”

Try it for real: Am I really hungry? Are you in the habit of eating at certain times or taking second helpings, whether or not you are hungry? If so, explain to your parents/caregivers that just for a day, you want to eat only when you are truly hungry. Listen to your body. When you eat, once you are no longer actively hungry, stop eating, even if you have food left. For a healthy person doing a normal amount of activity, it will not hurt for one day, even to skip a meal. Knowing what real hunger feels like will help you to be more content when you have to wait a while to eat, and to appreciate the situation of those who deal with real hunger every day. You will know that you can manage in a situation where plans change. Mahatma Gandhi, a famous Indian politician who believed in non-violence, said, “There is enough in the world for everyone's need, but not for anyone's greed.”

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: The best meal I ever ate!

“Thank goodness, we get to eat again!”

Experiment:

Have you heard someone say how food tasted better when they were very hungry? Perhaps it was because they were really focusing on what they were eating and not just being a robot, eating mindlessly. In our family, before every meal we say, “Thank goodness, we get to eat again!” It sounds silly, but we mean it! Try the experiment below to learn to be more aware and savor all your experiences, not just those involving food.

Experience your food

Choose a meal (or even a snack) when you are not in a hurry. As you eat, concentrate on every mouthful of food. Chew each bite a lot, really taste it. Don't read or talk or watch television. Maybe close your eyes. Focus hard on what you are eating. Did it seem any different than when you eat in the regular way? Sometimes people do this when they want to eat less because they taste their food more and feel full sooner. How did it feel to you?

Try it for real: On the Rocks -- I have what I need if I don't feed my greed. If you are fortunate enough to have a soft drink soon, think about this. When you pour the drink into a glass it takes time for the bubbles to settle. You may wait and pour more, trying to squeeze as much as you can into the glass. What if your glass were a little smaller? Your glass would already be full! You'd be done! Don't worry about getting so much. Try being content with the first bit. It's probably enough. Just because your glass is big doesn't mean you need to fill it up. Have you seen children playing with rocks when someone wants the same rock and argues over it? It lasts until something else shows up...maybe a frog or a ball...then no one wants the rock anymore. Did the rock magically change? Only the desire for it changed. Notice this week when this sort of thing is happening to you or others. Our wants, disappointments, and jealousies are mostly in our own imagination, based on false ideas of how great it would be to have that full glass or that rock! Watch how you react so you can be more content in these situations. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Instant Replay for Contentment:

Have you ever seen anyone fighting over a rock or stick?

Would it be possible to get everything you want? If you did, would you be happy?

What questions do you have about Contentment?

Where in your life is moderation needed?

Is there a way to raise your happiness level?

How can you enjoy your food more?

Does your favorite food have built-in goodness? I wonder if you think the photo of the boy refusing sweets was a good choice to represent 'Contentment'.

How is Contentment related to moderation, balance, and not overdoing it?

One ten-year-old said, “Being content makes it easier to enjoy someone else's achievements because you're happy where you are. Why would you be jealous?” And I said, “Well, that leads us right into the next guideline...Delight...” 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Guideline 4 : Delight

► Humility

► Respect

► Patience

► Forgiveness

► Contentment

► Gratitude

► Delight

4

► Responsibility

► Kindness

► Principles

► Honesty

► Aspiration

► Generosity

► Service

► Thoughtful Speech

► Courage

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Character Guide: Deba Delight

...

means D elight

Deba enjoys

y very da e n i g n y R ejoi ci e beaut l p m i s d fun, the d us, an n u o r a al l oy s. i gger j b g n i t cel eb ra for our s s e n i p s Hap eri ence p x e d o own go ood i n the g y o j d an rs. of othe s e n u t for

herself and celebrates the joy in others' lives.

Positive chants help you remember the most important ideas when you chant them over and over.

No need to wait, let's celebrate! My joy times two, when I'm happy for YOU!

At times, being happy for others can be more pure than happiness for ourselves because we are less likely to worry how long it will last.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Giggle Rap If you're little or you're grown you have got a funny bone and you can giggle......yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's bubbles or a swing, or balloons, just find your thing and you can giggle.....yeah, yeah, yeah. Rainbows in the light or stars may give delight so find your giggle......yeah, yeah, yeah.

Music is a treat or a puppy's big old feet can make you giggle....yeah, yeah, yeah. Waves of ocean foam or an ice cream on a cone can make you giggle....yeah, yeah, yeah. Flowers on your path, silly jokes that make you laugh take time to giggle......yeah, yeah, yeah.

Help another smile this way for a double joy today and share a giggle.... Oh, yeah!

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Delight Activities Try it now: The Art of Joy What gives you joy? What delights you? What looks or sounds or smells or feels or tastes so incredible it makes you glad to be alive?

Art Project: Sit quietly for a moment, maybe close your eyes, and think about simple things that make you happy. Write a list of these small joyful things. Now you can draw, paint, or use magazine clippings to make a collage of these things. Or, you could go out and take pictures if you have a camera, or write a poem or rap about these ideas. Choose the form that sounds fun to you.

I hope you will be happy when you look at what you have created. The purpose of this is not to please or to be judged by anyone else. It's for you. Enjoy it! This page is what I had fun creating with my camera; I am delighted by crunchy fall leaves, brilliant sunsets and happy, giggling children!

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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* the underlined words are links you can click on

Try it now: Just be happy – light and water

to see more pictures.

I saw a quote that suggested sometimes we should stop working on being happy and JUST BE HAPPY. Look at the list you made in the Art of Joy. Can you do any of those things right now? Do you know a pet you can play with? Can you blow some bubbles and see the rainbows they make in the sun? Try one of these outside activities depending on what the weather is like where you are today.

Experiment:

Bubbles in the sun

If you don't have any bubble solution, you can make it in a bowl by mixing liquid soap and two to three parts water. Bend a wire or twist tie into a circle. Dip it in the liquid, stir it up and blow rainbows* in the sun. Experiment with the amount of water and the shape of the wire. Blow slowly and steadily to get bigger bubbles! If you have two wires one person can blow while the other uses their wire to catch the bubbles without breaking them.

Investigate:

Splashes in the rain

If it is not lightning, look outside for funny places the water is dripping or rushing down gutters, off an awning, off the cars. Listen to the drip drip drip. Look for intersecting splash circles of multiple raindrops. See the crowns the drops make when they hit something hard. Open your 'new eyes'! See splash pictures I took by searching the internet for 'splature' (splash+capture) or clicking the picture at the right. See other people's photos by searching 'macro liquid' or 'splash'.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: Upside down laughs This game will make you laugh. It's fun and easy once you get the idea. Game:

Little chin person With a friend or family member as your partner, lie on the floor on your sides with faces close to each other and feet pointing in opposite directions. You will look upside down to each other. Look at your partner's chin. Imagine their chin is a forehead, so the bottom part of their face looks like a little upside down person. This person's mouth is your partner's mouth, but it's upside down and looks funny when they talk. It may help to use your hand so you can't see your partner's nose and eyes at first. Smile, talk, make faces. See the 'chin person' talking . Bet you'll laugh! We did!

Try it for real: Reflecting on New Delights

This week see if you can find something new that brings you or someone else delight. At the end of each day, think back to what you saw, heard or felt that was joyous. You might want to add this to your “A list” you made in the Contentment section.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: My joy times two, when I'm happy for you Good things happen to us sometimes. Other times the victory goes to someone else. If we can find joy in both of these, we get more joy overall! You have already thought about things that give you joy. Now can you focus on rejoicing in the good fortune and delight of others? This is the opposite of being jealous or envious. Realize that everyone has a desire to be happy. Next time someone has a victory, for instance if you lose a chess game to them, tell them, “Congratulations!”

Jane Goodall, a British anthropologist who studied primates, said, “Every individual matters. Every individual has a role to play. Every individual makes a difference.” This week notice when you see good things happening to others-- when someone gets a compliment, or learns something new, or makes a goal for their team, or gets a new toy they really like. You can be quietly glad for them, or you could take it a step further and tell them, “Congratulations! Way to go! I see your hard work paid off! I'm happy for you!” or you could write them a note about it. If you can develop this skill, and take joy in others' victories as well as your own, your delight will multiply many times.

Try it for real: Take it Outside Wherever you are in the world, with very few exceptions, you can see these delightful sights and more: sunrises, sunlight on dew (look very closely at the grass after a rain or dewfall, it's awesome!), rainbows in the sky or near fountains, colorful storm clouds or sunsets, a clear night sky with a moon or stars. Can you see one of these free delights this week, and share the excitement of it with someone nearby? Then you will enjoy it twice!

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Instant Replay for Delight:

Is there beauty in the sun and the rain? Can you see with 'new eyes'?

What was the most surprising place in which you found something beautiful?

What questions do you have about Delight?

What makes you giggle?

Did you discover any new joys this week? What were they?

Could you see the upside down chin person? Did you point out and share any delights with others this week? How did it feel?

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

I wonder if you think the photo of two children playing in ocean waves was a good choice to represent 'Delight'.

Ready Set Happy

What is the same and different about the two types of delight-- for ourselves and for the victories of others?

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Part II : How we Act

5 Kindness

6 Honesty

How we 7 Generosity

act...

8 Thoughtful Speech has impacts on .

How we act... impacts on ourselves and others.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Guideline 5 : Kindness

► Humility

► Respect

► Patience

► Forgiveness

► Contentment

► Gratitude

► Delight

► Responsibility

► Kindness

5

► Principles

► Honesty

► Aspiration

► Generosity

► Service

► Thoughtful Speech

► Courage

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Character Guide: Kaipo Kindness

Kaipo cares

Kind

ans... ness me

others Hel pi ng y appy b to b e h el l . them w g n i t a tre

about others and acts in a considerate and thoughtful way.

e den rul The gol . s forms i n al l i t The guides' positive chants help you to remember the most important ideas. Say these over and over to remember them.

Care for others. Keep trying.

You might like to read one of the picture books recommended by your local library for fiction or non-fiction books illustrating Kindness. (click here for one such library site)

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Thinking Ahead at the Diamond Clinic a short play set at a busy emergency veterinary hospital to be read aloud by three people Dr. Lee: (as she is running from the waiting room with the rabbit in it to the treatment room where the iguana is waiting) I'll be right there. Keep the icepack around 'Bunny' till he cools down then I'll come to check him again. He's still overheated from the ride to the hospital. Assistant Amber: Alright. Don't worry fella, you'll be better in no time. We'll take good care of you here. Dr. Lee: (after some time in the treatment room) Alison, please bring me a sterile pack and finish wrapping up this iguana's tail. I need to check on that cat we are monitoring. Assistant Alison: I'd be happy to. Dr. Lee: (to Alison) Thank you. (to the iguana) That should help. (to the owner) It was good of you to bring him in. He'll be feeling better in a few days. Amber: (thinking to herself as she calculates the fee for an old black dog who is ready to go home) Dr. Lee loaned me this calculator a while ago, and she will need it to process the readings on the cat. (Amber closes the door as the dog and its owner leave, takes the calculator, steps into the hall where Dr. Lee is moving between rooms, and slips it into Dr Lee’s pocket as they pass each other). Dr. Lee (smiling over her shoulder, continuing to walk) Thank you, Amber, that was really helpful. That was thinking ahead! Very kind of you. Amber (smiling, too): My pleasure. I'd better get back to check on that rabbit! 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Kindness Activities Try it now: Make a Golden Rule. If you were in charge of the world, and you could make only one rule, what would it be? What would be so important that you might call it the golden rule? Take a minute to think about this before you read on.

1

People in many parts of the world and across time include the idea of treating others with kindness as part of their philosophy or religion. Sometimes this is called the Golden Rule. It can be summarized as “treating others how you would like to be treated,” or “treating others the way they would like to be treated,” or “not harming others in ways you would not like to be harmed.“ How might having such a rule help a person or a group of people? What phrase is used in your culture or faith? Thank you for the directions. So kind!

Art Project:

Golden Ruler

Can you make a symbol of this Golden Rule? For instance you could make a goldcolored ruler with a reminder phrase on it. Choose a phrase to use, either 'golden rule' or 'kindness' or a phrase you create or another you have heard, or one of the many you can find online such as in the articles here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethic_of_reciprocity or here: http://www.bahainyc.org/presentations/goldenrule/index.html Make the basis of the ruler from a real ruler, or a piece of cardboard cut into the general shape of a ruler, or even a thick piece of paper. Color it gold or yellow with whatever you have -- gold foil from chocolate bars or from a craft store, gold paint, gold glitter and glue, a gold colored crayon, or markers. Add your phrase.

o harm. n o d ; s s dne Show kin

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Keep it where you will be reminded every day to be kind and considerate of others. Go for the gold!

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Try it now: Meet the 'How we Act' Guides. The character guides each help you to learn about a guideline that starts with the same sound as their name. The ‘How we Act’ guides are Kaipo Kindness, Hodi Honesty, Genca Generosity, and Spibu ThoughtfulSpeech. The last syllable of many of their first names has something to do with their shapes. I wonder if you can guess that connection for each one....the answer is at the end of this Kindness section.

Art Project: 5678

Would you like a turn? Thanks for sharing!

Print the drawing (page A3-2) of the four ‘How we Act’ characters. Color the page and think about how your actions affect those around you. Consider if you already act in a way that is kind, honest, generous, and thoughtful about your words or if you could practice a little more. Glue the page to thicker paper if you have it, then cut along the lines to make four cards to use in the game below.

Game:

Matching/Concentration

Make two sets of cards in the Art Project above. The thicker paper is important so you can't see through the back side of the cards. Play the matching game ‘Concentration’ by placing all the cards (including those you may have made from other sections) face down, taking turns turning over two at a time to try to find the same characters. If you find a match, say something about the guideline before you take up the set. You could give an example of when you or someone else showed that quality this week, or when you wish you had. Keep taking turns until all pairs are matched. In later activities you can make more cards to use to play this game. Try it as a cooperative game and see how few turns you need to match them all. When you finish playing put the cards up on the wall or fridge, one at a time, to keep one guideline in mind each week.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: Project kindness, reflect some to yourself. How does it feel when someone is kind to you? Imagine the difference you can make every day by developing an attitude of kindness in your life. Can you be a positive example, a ray of sunshine to a friend in need? What might that feel like? Even smiling at the bus driver or picking up something someone drops can make a difference to their day. When our children walk out the door for school we say, “I hope you have an awesome day, and I hope you make it that way for someone else.” This usually involves a hug! It reminds us of our power to affect the day for ourselves and others. It is also important to be kind to yourself. What does that mean? It might involve not expecting yourself to be perfect. Not worrying about the grade so much as the learning. Try your best! But if you mess up, don't beat yourself up, just notice it, fix it if you can, apologize if that makes sense, and decide to do better next time. Game:

Way to go, you did well!

Some days thinking of what’s on your 'done' list is more encouraging than thinking of what’s on your 'to do' list. Be kind to yourself right now by thinking of four things you did really well this week. Congratulations on your efforts! To play as a game with a small group, each person can write each of their accomplishments on a small piece of paper. Collect and pass them out randomly. Take turns going around the circle reading the papers for an anonymous celebration of good efforts.

Try it for real: Kindness is good medicine, Neighbor! Studies by American, British, Canadian and Australian scientists all confirm that kindness can be good for our health. Read about it by clicking here. Having connections with our neighbors where we do things for each other like taking care of each other's pets seems to increase our ability to avoid getting sick and to live longer. So being kind is good medicine! Can you go with your parents or caregivers to introduce yourself and get to know more of your neighbors? Try to learn some new names and faces this week. If you already know your neighbors, can you do them a favor? Put the 'neighbor' back in neighborhood. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: Kind (rather than King) for a Day Set a goal for yourself of going a whole day thinking about the happiness of others not just yourself. How many 'good turns' can you do? If you can't help, at least don't harm. What challenges do you expect at home and at school while you are being kind? One person often thought of as kind is Mother Teresa, an Albanian nun who served in India. She said, “The poverty of the West is loneliness and indifference. There is hunger for ordinary bread, and there is hunger for love, for kindness and for thoughtfulness - and this is the great poverty that makes people suffer so much.” If you spend a whole day thinking of others you may help to reduce this hunger.

Try it for real: Pay it forward with Deliberate Acts of Kindness. Once you have been “Kind for a Day” you may like to try something in a more organized way. You can click on the three underlined headings below or search the internet to learn more about three kindness efforts other young people are doing, then try them yourself. Random Acts of Kindness

Have you heard of the phrase “random acts of kindness”? What do you think it means? Random acts are when you do something kind that's unexpected, and the person you do it for may not even know it was you. You will feel happy doing it, and they will feel happy and surprised when they realize someone has done something nice for them. You can change the world a little for the better.

Action: Act I

Random Acts of Kindness

This week look for ways to perform random acts of kindness. There are many ideas at the link above, or you could ... Leave flowers at someone's door but don't let them see you deliver them. Pay for someone whose parking time has expired. Refill your dog's water or do another household job without being asked. Do something nice for an elderly neighbor – anonymously if you can.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Pay it Forward

The idea of Pay it Forward came from the novel by Catherine Ryan Hyde in which a twelveyear-old changed the world outside and within himself by three big acts of kindness. Instead of being paid back he asked the people to do something for three others. If they did, that would mean nine people affected the next round, then 27 and so on. Action: Act II

Pay it Forward

Pay it forward yourself by doing three kind acts and if those whom you help want to pay you back, ask them instead to pay it forward to three more people. Loving Kindness Peaceful Youth

An international youth movement started in part in reaction to the massacre at Columbine High school, Colorado, USA, they call their actions Deliberate Acts of Kindness. Action: Act III

Deliberate Acts of Kindness

Here are a few Deliberate Acts you could try. Click on the LKPY link heading above for more. If someone is walking toward you along the street, smile at them. If people are waiting behind you at a water fountain, let them go ahead. Hold a door open for someone. Say hello to any 'invisible' people you see the cleaning crew, the lunch servers at school, the person holding the 'slow' sign at a road construction, the postal worker, the waste collectors, etc. Invite a new student at school to sit with you at lunch or on the bus or to play with you. Be nice to the teacher. Especially the one who takes the place of your regular teacher when they have to be absent!!

Let us know what you did and how you felt about it. When people see kindness, it makes them feel like being kind, too. Go out and start something!

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Instant Replay for Kindness:

What questions do you have about Kindness?

What is the Golden Rule? Why do you think it is called that?

I wonder if you think the photo of a child holding a door open was a good choice to to represent represent'Kindness'... 'Kindness'.

All the world's a stage...

How can you encourage a culture of kindness?

How can you be kind to yourself?

William Shakespeare

Can being kind make you healthier? Happier? How?

Where can you get more ideas about kind things you can do?

Does it matter if people know you were the one who did something kind for them?

What would your community be like if everyone did something kind each day?

Name/shape connection answer-Kaipo She's based on the red crystal symbol for hospitals in conflict zones (which was a plus sign, the red cross --positive) Think of a polished diamond. Hodi He's a coin, representing honest dealings with money. Money in Spanish is dinero. Genca She is a cornucopia, a horn of plenty. Symbol of generosity, plenty, and sharing. Spibu He's a speech bubble representing words thought or spoken, plus a wisdom symbol. The group symbol for 'How we Act', Dramo, is a theater comedy mask.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Guideline 6 : Honesty

► Humility

► Respect

► Patience

► Forgiveness

► Contentment

► Gratitude

► Delight

► Responsibility

► Kindness

► Principles

► Honesty

6

► Aspiration

► Generosity

► Service

► Thoughtful Speech

► Courage

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Character Guide: Hodi Honesty

Hodi trades fairly and tells the truth.

...

y means H onest

h. he trut t g n i l l Te ai r and Bei ng f ble in honora i th l i ngs w a e d r u o d oney an m , e l p o pe i ons. possess The guides' positive chants help you to remember the most important ideas. Say these over and over to remember them.

Honesty works best for me.

Honesty is very practical for me. It's easy to remember what I have told everyone if I just tell the truth.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Pocket Change Chant Ching

ching

ching

--

Can you

hear the

coins that

ring

clinking

in my

pock-

et?

Ching

ching

ching

--

Can you

hear coins

begging,

MORE

taunting,

Life is

rough

you'll

never

have e-

nough!

--

O the

spell that

it can

hold

over

us this

silver/

gold!

Who re-

members

what is

real ?

That can

help us

not to

steal...

Ching

ching

ching

--

Free us

from the

money

sting.

Taking,

hoarding,

lost in

fear,

not en-

joying

what's right

here.

Coins so

greedy

for at-

tention,

crying

wolf with

bad in-

tention.

Then our

need is

real but

no coins

left to

help us

heal.

--

Ching

ching

ching

-- What

'precious'

are we

clinging

to that

makes us

throw a-

way the

truth?

What is

it we're

grasping

for with

youth?

--

hands that spend our

Ching

ching

ching

--

Money

can be

strange.

-- So

cling to go of

truth with both your hands. Let pocket

change!

--

How do we decide if truth or money is more important? 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Honesty Activities Try it now: Honesty in Black, White and Shades of Grey Some actions are honest – like returning a lost wallet or cell phone -- and some are dishonest – like saying you didn't break something when you did. Some situations make it hard to tell what is honest. Is it alright to keep coins found on the ground at school? What if they were found on a city street? Or on the floor in your home? The conversation below explores these 'grey' areas.

Conversation:

Black White and Grey

Add your own ideas to the list below, then start a conversation with your family and friends by asking them to decide which actions are honest and which are not. Talk about it after everyone makes their choices. What do they think is honest in some of the 'greyer' situations? I hope this will help you feel good about your choices.

. Black White Grey Please mark these actions as B W or G for Black (dishonest) White (honest) or Grey (not so sure) then rank the Greys from most honest to most dishonest...then let's talk. copying a CD that contains copyrighted music telling your friend you like their new haircut when you don't admitting you broke a neighbor's window while playing not correcting someone thanking you for something another did finding a pencil on the school playground and keeping it telling your parents you're one place when you're elsewhere saying you have finished a job when you have not

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

sneaking onto a bus without a ticket cheating on a test returning money to a person who gave you back too much change admitting you accidentally saw your friend's cards while playing a game signing up for an email account and listing your age older than you are not telling your teacher you saw someone cheating on a test playing somewhere you have been told not to play

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Try it now: Honesty Games Game with words:

Two truths and a lie

Tell two things about yourself that are true but maybe surprising and tell one thing you make up. The others guess which one is the lie. Is it okay to lie when everyone agrees it is part of the rules? Do you feel okay about it?

Game with cards:

I Doubt It

This is a card game for three or more players where the object is to get rid of all of your cards. Deal out all of a regular deck of playing cards. Whoever has the Ace of spades starts and if they have more than one ace they play all they have. If they have two, they say “two Aces” and place them face down. Play continues to the left. If the second person has a two they place it face down on the pile saying “one two.” If they don't have any twos they have to pretend that they do. Or if they have one and want to pretend they have two so they can dump an Ace, they say “two twos”. If no one challenges them they get away with it but, if someone says ‘I doubt it’, the cards are revealed. If the player was lying, they have to pick up all the cards played so far. If they were not, the challenger has to pick them up. Continue up through the Kings. If it's not your turn when a number you are holding is played, you have to try to sneak those cards out of your hand later. When you get to Kings if no one has gone out, start again with Aces until someone runs out of cards.

How did it feel to lie, even when you had permission? Do we get away with lies in real life if no one catches us?

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Game with action:

Mirror game

Find a partner. Pretend you are a mirror. Ask your friend to move in front of you as you copy their actions. Don't break the plane of the mirror (don't move through where the mirror would be). This is fun if you follow the rules of copying what they do. Switch so that they get to be the mirror. After you've played a while think about this: How would you act differently if someone were doing everything you do in real life? Would you try to protect them from your poor choices? Would you lie? Next time you have a 'grey' honesty decision in real life, think how you would feel about your mirror image doing this action.

Try it now: The Boy Who Cried Wolf Crying Wolf Photo by Tim Toombs

Story:

Do you know the story about The Boy Who Cried Wolf? You can read it at your library or online by clicking the title above. It explains how nobody believes a liar even when that person is telling the truth.

What do you learn from the story? Do you have questions about it? What is a selfish reason to be honest?

Try it for real: Thanks for the Offer. For a whole day can you only take things that are offered and not take anything that is not offered? That might mean not picking flowers from a neighbor's garden or not using a friend's toy they left outside or not eating meat for a day (the chicken didn't ASK you to eat it, did it?) See what comes up for you in the course of a day. At the end of the day, think about anything you may have borrowed in the past and were supposed to return. Plan to return anything you still have. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: Sticky Money, Fleeting Truth

Muhammad Yunus, a Bangladeshi banker who helped many people said “Money is a sticky substance.” What do you think this means? What is it that binds you or tempts you to being dishonest about money? In which particular situations are you most tempted to lie?

When you are asked if you've had cookies and you know that if you truthfully say yes you will get no ice cream, is it hard to tell the truth? If you go to the movies and you are supposed to pay full price since you had your birthday, are you tempted to say you're younger to save money on the ticket? If your friends ask if you've heard of a music star but you haven't, are you tempted to say yes so you will look cool? Without changing anything, just notice what happens this week that challenges you to tell the truth.

Try it for real: Fairness and Honesty Experiments Do you think you treat everyone the same? Are you 'more fair' with some than with others? Try treating everyone fairly for a day. Even those people you don't like. Treat them as fairly as you would your friends. Notice what happens. On another day, try being completely honest all day. Don't exaggerate. Don't tell a lie. Not even a “little white” kind of lie. When you are with certain friends is it easier or harder? My father used to tell me that his father used to tell him, “Our best friends are those in whose company we are our best selves.”

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Instant Replay for Honesty: Do you think the photo of children playing hide-and-seek was a good choice to represent 'Honesty'? Has anyone ever 'cried wolf' so that you don't believe them now?

What questions do you have about Honesty?

Do you think it is possible to be truthful all the time?

Is it important to be honest for your own good? Why?

All the world's a stage... William Shakespeare

How does it feel to lie, even if you have permission?

What is more important than money?

Is it okay to lie if nobody finds out?

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

Are you more likely to deal fairly with those you know well?

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Guideline 7 : Generosity

► Humility

► Respect

► Patience

► Forgiveness

► Contentment

► Gratitude

► Delight

► Responsibility

► Kindness

► Principles

► Honesty

► Aspiration

► Generosity

7

► Thoughtful Speech 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

► Service ► Courage

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Character Guide: Genca Generosity

Genca shares what she has, giving with a smile.

...

means y it s o r Gene

ave at we h h w g n i Shar others. t i f e n e to b . nsel fi sh u g n i e B

ons ur acti o g n i z R eal i others. affect

The guides' positive chants help you to remember the most important ideas. Say these over and over to remember them.

I can share my stuff. I have enough. Our family motto is: We share until it's gone, We help until it's done. You may adopt it if you like it. In Latin it is: Usque communicamus quoad exhaustum est. Usque adiuvamus quoad perfectum est. Welcome to the family. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Ripples If I can make a ripple, with a stone thrown in the lake, what ripples in my real life do my thoughts and actions make? My rocket climbs then dives down. If I push you, will you fall? To see the glass half empty, does it change the thing at all? Will one good turn bring others? Is it just like people say? Will all I think and do soon circle 'round back into play? Does generous or greedy make a difference here and now? Can butterfly wings beating make a storm somewhere somehow? I question and I wonder is it just a simple fact? Does cause-effect apply to what I think and how I act? I can't unsplash a ripple and I can't unspeak a word. So I will act my best in case the Universe has heard.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Generosity Activities Try it now: Enough is Enough. How much is enough? I wonder how you decide that you have enough to share, or when you think someone should share with you. If you share but then are not happy about it, perhaps that was something you were not ready to give generously. By noticing how you feel before and after you share you can recognize the things or the amount of time you can give wholeheartedly. With practice, that level may increase!

Art:

Share and Share Alike

Can you think of five things you would be willing to share and five things you do not want to share? Draw a picture of the things you could share, and how you plan to do that sometime soon. Give what you can -- share generously.

Try it now: Don't take my word for it! Six quotes on Generosity from around the world have been cut in half. There are several difficulty levels to choose from as you match them back up. If you make it to Level 3 or up please send us an email at the link at the bottom left of this page. The answers are at the end of this Generosity section on the Instant Replay page. Puzzle/Game:

Matches on the Level

Print out the following page on card weight paper, or print then glue to thicker paper. Cut into twelve cards along the lines. Reunite the two halves of the quotes. Level 1: Lay all cards out face up, and match them as a group effort. Level 2: Turn all cards face down and take turns turning over two at a time looking for a match. Play until all sets are matched. Level 3: Extend the game by adding cards from the two other sections with quote matchups (Responsibility and Aspiration). Level 4: Find or write quotes about Generosity or other guidelines to make your own cards. Level 5: Study the quotes and quiz each other by holding up the first halves and seeing who can remember the second halves.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Matches on the Level -- Gamecards

G7 – 1

G7 – 2

G7 – 3

You make a living by what you get...

The real wealth comes from...

Be generous in prosperity..

G7 – 4

G7 – 5

G7 – 6

It is in giving...

The fragrance always stays...

They say my work is just a drop in the ocean...

G7 – A

G7 – B

...and thankful in adversity.

...in the hand that gives the rose.

-- Bahá'u'lláh, Iran

-- Hada Bejar, UK

-- Mother Teresa, Macedonia/India

G7 – D

G7 – E

G7 – F

...You make a life by what you give.

...that we receive.

...helping others.

-- Winston Churchill, UK

-- St. Francis of Assisi, Italy

-- Cesar Chavez, Mexico/USA

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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G7 – C

...I say the ocean is made up of drops.

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Try it now: Balance of Giving and Getting Think of the best present you ever got. Think of the best present you ever gave. Which was more fun? Pretend that giving is like standing on your left leg, and getting is like standing on your right leg as you try this Movement. TO

FROM

Movement:

t Give and Ge

for as n your left leg o d n ta s to ed, ry T hen you get tir W n. a c u yo s long a long as right leg for as ur yo n o nd ta an s h longer you c uc m w o H n. you ca on both equal weight ut p u yo if ! nd sta back and forth e ng ha c u yo if legs or

To find more activities and games about giving, check out http://www.learningtogive.org/ There are even folktales and stories to read about giving on this page of the site: http://www.learningtogive.org/materials/folktales/trait.asp?trait=giving

Try it for real: Oh, that feels better! You probably have a family member who has a sore back, sore feet, tired shoulder or neck muscles. Be generous with your time and attention and give them a little massage. Maybe make them a cup of tea. They will love it, and you'll feel great.

Try it for real: Charity Begins You may already be giving a portion of any money you get to a charitable purpose. If you are not, think about beginning that practice. If you set aside a percentage of your money right when you get it, you will be less likely to miss it. Consider giving some every month to a cause you feel good about supporting. If you don't already know one, ask your family and friends for ideas. If you don't have any money to spare, you could ask if there are any jobs you can do to earn a little to give to charity. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: Take it Another Level Next time you are asked to do something you can do, you have an opportunity to not just say yes, but to be enthusiastic, and to do a little more than asked. You might even do something before being asked.

Action:

Generous Choices

Give away some of your things (toys, clothes, etc.) to someone who needs them more than you. Make some food to give away to neighbors who are sick or just had a baby.

Here's your food, Fish!

Recently I had a chance to help, but much to my regret, I missed my opportunity. I was waiting to see a concert. Most of us had bought tickets ahead, yet some people were being charged an extra fee based on their age. This was a surprise to us all, and some (like the girl in front of me) had not brought any money so they were not allowed in, even though they had mostly paid for their ticket.

Whenever you bring supplies to school at the request of your teacher bring extra to help others who may not have enough. Volunteer to do a job for a brother or sister for no reason. Enjoy the surprised look on their faces!

What I did was just go in to the show. But I felt badly about it for several days afterward because I could have paid the extra money for some of the younger people to get in. What I wish I had done was to pay the extra bit for the girl in front of me and even to leave some for others who would come behind. For the price of my own ticket I could have let in six more people. Next time I will. Carwash for a cause

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Instant Replay for Generosity: Do you think the photo of a child sharing treats with his brother was a good choice to represent 'Generosity'? What questions do you have about Generosity?

Do you have any stories about when you wish you had been more generous?

All the world's a stage...

Who was generous with you this week? How did that feel to you?

What generous choices did you make this week?

William Shakespeare

Which causes seem most important to support to you personally?

Which was your favorite quote about 'Generosity'?

Is it more fun to get presents or to give them?

How do you know when you have enough to share?

Match Answers: 1D 2F 3A 4E 5B 6C

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Guideline 8 : Thoughtful Speech

► Humility

► Respect

► Patience

► Forgiveness

► Contentment

► Gratitude

► Delight

► Responsibility

► Kindness

► Principles

► Honesty

► Aspiration

► Generosity

► Service

► Thoughtful Speech 8

► Courage

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Character Guide: Spibu Thoughtful-Speech

Speech l u f t h Thoug means...

Spibu speaks carefully using his few words to help, not harm.

ly ski l l ful g n i k a Sp e tal ki ng and not h. too muc e fore w e b g n i Thi nk ’t we don o s k a e sp ds. our wor h t i w harm

The guides' positive chants help you to remember the most important ideas. Say these over and over to remember them.

When I'm wise I think more, speak less.

We love to talk, to email, to text, to call. We love to connect. How you choose your words is important because as Maya Angelou, USA, has suggested, others will forget what you say and do, but “people will never forget how you made them feel.”

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Haiku

Sticks and stones break bones. Cold words hurt me deeper. Crying hours alone. (inspired by a quote by Eric Idle, UK, in Get Real) Choose your words kindly.Pause before speaking. To avoid a painful sting, To avoid a painful sting, pause before speaking. choose your words kindly.

Gentle to the ears, honest, thoughtful, wise words rest warmly in my heart.

Top haiku inspired by a quote by Eric Idle, UK, in Get Real 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Thoughtful Speech Activities

No one is as deaf as the man who will not listen.

Try it now: Just Listen!

Jewish proverb

We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak.

To listen well is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is essential to all true conversation.

Greek philosopher, Epictetus

Chinese proverb

An important part of Thoughtful Speech is to be able to listen to what others are really saying instead of thinking ahead to what you're going to say next. These games can help you become a better listener.

Games:

Listen Hear

Clap Echo: One person claps a short pattern and the others echo; the clapper does a little more, the others copy it. Take turns being the clapper. Repeat After Me: One person says or reads a sentence. The other person listens and repeats it back exactly. Try it with two sentences, or three, or a list of objects, or numbers. Telephone: Sit in a circle. One person whispers a sentence to the next person. See if the sentence can make it all the way around the circle without getting changed, or if, “Mr. Dunn has a crazy cat,” becomes, “Sister Dung is a lazy hat,” by mistake! 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: Think More, Speak Less – Haiku Workshop The most unkind things I say are usually said quickly, when I'm angry or when I'm joking around, not thinking about how my words will be heard. Then I wish I had said less. Is this true for you? One way to be kinder with your words is to get in the habit of choosing words carefully. The Nez Percé leader Chief Joseph said, “It does not take many words to speak the truth.” Careful word choice became an artform practiced in Japan in the writings called 'haiku'. This special, concentrated poetry is now written by people all over the world. Haiku form can vary to suit the language of the author, but one common pattern for these short yet powerful poems looks like this: first line five syllables second line seven syllables third line five syllables So what are haiku about? Haiku writers first open their hearts and minds to observe nature and the world and to connect to thoughts within themselves. This connection can then be described using carefully chosen words, expressed as if in one breath, often with a surprise ending. wise white lilies bloom spring's necklace cast on water rising through the muck

Learning to write haiku, and to observe the world with fresh 'haiku eyes' – a phrase mentioned in the children's book Haiku by Patricia Donegan -- is fun for all ages!

Word Play:

Two Haiku from You

Write two haiku. First, take a look outside and write a haiku about today's weather or season. Second, think about the Guidelines you have learned about so far. Have any of the ideas surprised you? Write a haiku about any surprises or about any of the 16 Guidelines. Because the poem is short you will need to think a while about how to tell your whole story in only three lines. Share them with us if you like!

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: Words and feelings Words can be powerful emotional tools. Thoughtful speech is when you use these tools with care and kindness. King Solomon said, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” What do you think he meant? Try this Word Play to see how powerful words can be.

Word Play:

Feel the Power

Fold a piece of paper in half, then in half again, then in a half a third time so you have eight rectangles to write in when you open it up. Copy one of these words into each rectangle: cookies, puppy, war, anger, house, car, help, peace. Draw a simple face by each word showing how each word makes you feel. On the back of your paper list eight words of your own choosing, one per rectangle. Write some that make you smile, some that scare you or sadden you and some that excite you. Add faces to these words, too.

Word Play: Mind boggling Make a list of the words you can make out of the letters in 'Thoughtful Speech'. You may use the letters in any order. Let us know how many words you came up with altogether.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: More than Words Communication is made up of more than the words you choose. Most (about 90%) of how you communicate about your emotions is not the words you are using at all, but rather your body language and tone. That's why we sometimes say, “It's not what you're saying, it's how you're saying it.” If you are up to a real challenge, get your family to help you do this experiment.

Experiment:

Silence is Golden

Choose several hours when you are home to try not using your words. Tell everyone ahead of time you are trying an experiment. Go about your day, but use no words. See if you can use other ways to communicate to get your point across...gestures, facial expressions, or pictures drawn on paper if you must. Be forewarned, you will learn a lot about yourself, but you will need patience! Once you are ready to talk again, even a few words may seem like a gift!

Try it for real: The Magic Word You may have been taught that the magic word was “please” or “abracadabra” or “open sesame”. Many words can be magic and they can change our mood in a moment. Use just a few soothing and gentle words this week to make a big difference to someone.

Word Watch:

A Week of Words

Why, Thank you! Pick a day to say something nice (like a compliment) to everyone you talk with during the day. Who's on the Line? Imagine for one day you are being recorded. Everyone can hear all you say, maybe all you think, and the video will be on the internet within the hour! Imagine your role model or spiritual leader or favorite teacher could hear you. Does it change what you would say? Would that be useful? That was a Great Effort! Learn to use language to praise you friends' efforts more than their achievements, their choices more than their talents. Research at the Greater Good Science Center in California has shown this will make them happier and achieve even more! 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: Now That's Skill -- Knot. I wonder if there was a time during this past week when you heard speech that was not skillful or thoughtful? Maybe someone said something that hurt your feelings. Maybe you spoke harshly back. Find a friend or family member who will role play with you a different way of using words that would have been more skillful, helpful or effective. Why was it hard to use kinder words at the time? This pattern is the source for Spibu's head symbol. It is an endless knot. It shows that everything is connected, and is a symbol for wisdom and interplay. Best wishes with your wise and thoughtful speech. If you talk to someone but it doesn't seem like they're listening, instead of yelling, try whispering. The change of tone will probably catch their attention. There are times when it may be better to say nothing at all.

Web Work: Speak your Peace Go to http://www.cnvc.org/ , the website for the Center for Nonviolent Communication, to learn more about ways to be skillful with your speech by focusing on what you are observing, feeling, needing and requesting.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Instant Replay for Thoughtful Speech:

What questions do you have about Thoughtful Speech?

I wonder if you think the photo of teenagers talking is a good choice to represent 'Thoughtful Speech'.

All the world's a stage... Which game did you like best to improve your listening?

William Shakespeare

What ways do you communicate besides using your words?

Would it be better to say, ”You tested well, you're smart,” or, “You tested well, you must have tried really hard” ?

If everyone could always hear what you say would it change what you say sometimes?

Which was your favorite quote in this section?

What does it mean to see the world fresh with 'haiku eyes'?

Are some words more powerful than others? Why?

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Part III : How we Relate to Others

12 Responsibility

11 Gratitude 10 Forgiveness 9 Respect

has impacts on .

How we relate to others.... connects us to our community.

16 Guidelines 16 Guidelines for a for Happy Life Life www.essential-education.org www.16Guidelines.org

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Guideline 9 : Respect

Photo by Lindsay Stark

► Humility

► Respect

► Patience

► Forgiveness

► Contentment

► Gratitude

► Delight

► Responsibility

► Kindness

► Principles

► Honesty

► Aspiration

► Generosity

► Service

► Thoughtful Speech

► Courage

16 Guidelines 16 Guidelines for a for Happy Life Life www.essential-education.org www.16Guidelines.org

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See the original and learn more about this village elder here. See the latest photos from Lindsay here.

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Character Guide: Resco Respect

s...

t mean Respec

p eci al l y s e , s r e oth and Val ui ng ri ence e p x e h it s those w e el der k i l , e g d knowl e chers. and tea e endenc p e d r u ng o others. R eal i zi f o s t r effo on the ol i te. Bei ng p

Resco respects teachers and the elderly and honors the wisdom in everyone by being polite.

The guides' positive chants help you to remember the most important ideas. Say these over and over to remember them.

Let's honor each who guide or teach.

You show your respect for everyone by using good manners and by taking care of resources we all share. You show respect for yourself by choosing your role models carefully, then following them. 16 Guidelines 16 Guidelines for a for Happy Life Life www.essential-education.org www.16Guidelines.org

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A Class for Tia a short play set outside a martial arts studio to be read aloud by three actors and a narrator

Tia:

Good morning, Is this where classes are held?

Mario: Yes, but I don't know if little kids like you can take them. Maybe you'd like to go to the place down the street. Tia:

I see. Well, when they open I'll ask if I am in the right place. I'm Tia.

Mario: My name's Mario. So you think you're ready for this stuff, huh? You know it takes lots of practice. You have to be polite and listen to the teacher and really work hard. I have been studying for a year and just now got my green sash. Tia:

Congratulations! I'm glad your hard work paid off. Oh, it looks like they are opening the door. Thank you for your help. I'll see you inside.

Narrator: Mario warms up on the mat with the other students as Tia goes in to change clothes. In a moment she comes out and stands at the front of the class with the Master Teacher. Master: Students. We have a treat today. Tia Forte is visiting from our sister school. She has recently earned her black sash which I will tie on her for the first time today. She will be your guest instructor. (He ties on the belt.) She studied very hard. Please give her your respect and attention. Narrator: All the students bow, including Mario who bows deeply then makes eye contact with Tia on the way back up, and he mouths the word, “Sorry,” then smiles. She smiles back easily and gives him a forgiving wink. Tia:

I am pleased to be with you today, and I am sure we will all learn a lot from each other. Let's begin!

16 Guidelines 16 Guidelines for a for Happy Life Life www.essential-education.org www.16Guidelines.org

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Respect Activities Try it now: Meet the 'How we Relate' Guides. The character guides each help you to learn about a guideline that starts with the same sound as their name. The ‘How we Relate’ guides are Resco Respect, Fola Forgiveness, Graca Gratitude, and Riche Responsibility. The last syllable of many of their first names has something to do with their shapes. I wonder if you can guess that connection for each one....the answer is at the end of this Respect section.

Art Project: 9-10-11-12 Print the drawing (page A3-3) of the four ‘How we Relate’ characters. Color the page and think about how you are connected to those around you. Consider if you already relate in a way that is respectful, forgiving, full of gratitude, and responsible, or if you could practice a little more. Glue the page to thicker paper if you have it, then cut along the lines to make four cards to use in the game below.

Game:

Matching/Concentration

Make two sets of cards in the Art Project above. The thicker paper is important so you can't see through the back side of the cards. Play the matching game ‘Concentration’ by placing all the cards (including those you may have made from other sections) face down, taking turns turning over two at a time to try to find the same characters. If you find a match, say something about the guideline before you take up the set. You could give an example of when you or someone else showed that quality this week, or when you wish you had. Keep taking turns until all pairs are matched. In later activities you can make more cards to use to play this game. Try it as a cooperative game and see how few turns you need to match them all. When you finish playing put the cards up on the wall or fridge, one at a time, to keep one guideline in mind each week.

16 Guidelines 16 Guidelines for a for Happy Life Life www.essential-education.org www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: A Good Place to be From -- respecting your heritage and culture Respecting your own background is part of realizing that all societies have something positive to offer to the treasury of human life on earth. If you were to travel far away, what would you tell people is special about your hometown, country, culture or heritage? Think a while. Then try this Art Project.

Art Project:

Coming Home

If you visited another place for a long time, what would you miss? What might you take with you to remind you of home? What could you take to enable you to share your culture with people you meet? Celebrate the positive things about your community by drawing a picture of three things you respect and value about where you live. Show why they are important to you. If this raised questions about your heritage or history, who could you ask about that? What other places would you like to visit or learn more about? 16 Guidelines 16 Guidelines for a for Happy Life Life www.essential-education.org www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: The View from Here -- respecting the efforts of the past “A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead.” --Albert Einstein, Germany/USA We all benefit from advances others made before we were born: inventions that make life easier such as paper, cloth, light bulbs, x-rays, computers, and telephones; community planning for roads, schools, parks, libraries and places of spiritual practice; tools such as the alphabet, musical notation, trade systems; and things we enjoy like sports, cultural celebrations, folksongs and how to make chocolate!

We don't have to create these things ourselves because someone has already done it for us. They could see the next steps to be taken to improve things, and so can we! This is not because we have such great vision but because we are, as it has been said, “standing on the shoulders of giants.” We are enjoying the view provided to us by the ones who have gone before.

Reflect and Discuss:

I Appreciate the Effort

Sit calmly and comfortably. Look around you -- wherever you are right now. Silently make note of the people, the inventions, the ideas that have gone before you to bring you here to this moment today. Think about your clothing and the food you had this morning. Who made them, paid for them, invented the process to make them? Think about the paper or computer screen on which this is written, the language system you share, the shelter in which you are sitting. Celebrate all of that effort in the past. Now think about something you would like to improve. Don't worry about how to do it yet, just set your intention to do your part to continue adding to the efforts of the past. When you are ready, discuss with someone what ideas came to your mind.

16 Guidelines 16 Guidelines for a for Happy Life Life www.essential-education.org www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: Personal Elder Praises (Pep Talks) – respecting grandparents, teachers and community knowledge-keepers You may be fortunate to know someone personally who holds a special kind of wisdom -- how to bake traditional foods, use local plants, work with wood or metal, play a traditional instrument, or tell the family stories. Who enriches your life with living wisdom? Who are your Personal Elders? Are they family members, religious leaders, school teachers, neighbors? Do you recognize these important people for their contribution? I had the privilege recently of camping with Native American Shoshone Indians on a reservation in Wyoming. Many families gathered for an annual celebration which began by remembering those who had died within the last year. Unhurriedly they shared memories of what they appreciated about each person. All ages listened and benefited. To read stories online from many Native American traditions, visit the Native Literature Directory. Try the Imagine activity below to consider the importance of recognizing the Personal Elders in your own life. Follow through with the Interview to thank them and to learn even more.

Imagine:

Pep Talk Prep

Decide who your Personal Elders are. Can you develop a feeling of appreciation for the knowledge they hold and everything they have taught you? Now, imagine your Personal Elders are gone. Someday they will be. How will you feel when you have a question you would normally go to them to answer? How would you like to show them your respect now, before it's too late? Imagine making a handmade gift or treat for them or taking them a heartfelt thank you note. Imagine sitting with them and being a good listener as they share what they know. Imagine going on your way knowing you have shown them you appreciate what they do for you.

When you are learning a new sport, do you seek advice from someone who has been playing for a short time or one who has played for years? In life, do you ask advice from young people or from those with life experience? 16 Guidelines 16 Guidelines for a for Happy Life Life www.essential-education.org www.16Guidelines.org

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Interview/Visit:

Wisdom walking

Make your Pep Talk vision a reality by preparing the gifts, treats and notes and delivering them in person if possible. Show respect by being on time. Ask if they would like to sit and talk or go for a walk with you. Ask them about what they find rewarding or challenging, what they are proud of and what they regret. Do something practical to help them if you can. Thank them for their time before you go. If you still have your grandparents as Personal Elders you are fortunate! In addition to the above, ask if you can make an audio recording or take notes as you ask about their lives as children, as teenagers, as young adults. Ask them what they remember about their parents and grandparents and what they wish they had asked them before they died. Finally, ask what is it that they would like to say that you didn't think to ask them.

I did this type of interview with my grandmother. We sat for several hours as she told me her life story and I tried to write quickly every word she said. It was a pleasure for both of us. Within the year I moved to a place far away, and she died, but I have fond memories and no regrets of things left unasked or unsaid. If your grandparents have died, write down your or others' memories of them before they fade further. If you never knew your grandparents you could 'adopt' a grandmother or grandfather in your community. Share your company and their wisdom.

“There is an elder in the making in everyone, but it is most visible in those who have the receptivity to listen to the stories of others.” -- Malidoma Some, West Africa

16 Guidelines 16 Guidelines for a for Happy Life Life www.essential-education.org www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: Practicing Respect 'A Limited Time Offer' -- respecting the value of each person You respect others by being polite and taking care not to harm them, their belongings or the resources we all share. Below are suggestions for promises you could make to develop a respectful attitude in specific areas of your life. You could start by promising to yourself to follow just one of them for an hour -- then you could extend it to a day, a week, or whatever you feel you can do. This promise is a respectful step, even if you do not keep it perfectly.

Promise:

Me, Myself, and I

I promise to be respectful to myself by: doing what I think is right choosing role models carefully developing healthy attitudes keeping myself and my clothes clean eating as healthily as I can getting my exercise and my rest

Promise:

All in the Family

I promise to be respectful at home by: asking how each person's day went giving eye contact to those speaking to me using good manners during meals picking up after myself being sure family animals have food & water not wasting food being careful with family possessions having a positive attitude

Promise:

It's all Friendly

I promise to be respectful of my friends' belongings by: asking before I use their things keeping the things in a safe place returning them in good shape & on time thanking the friend for letting me use them

16 Guidelines 16 Guidelines for a for Happy Life Life www.essential-education.org www.16Guidelines.org

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Promise:

School of Respect

I promise to be respectful at school by: arriving on time and ready to learn listening when teachers are speaking helping those who understand less than I do learning from those who understand more not making fun of anyone or any group of people including everyone in games and discussions taking care not to damage school property not leaving a mess making good use of my time trying my best

Promise:

Everyone Manners!

I promise to be respectful in public by: keeping quiet in quiet places (library or theater) saying 'please' and 'thank you' saying 'excuse me' if I bump into someone not interrupting, waiting my turn following the rules in games being punctual (showing up on time) not dropping gum or litter apologizing quickly if I make a mistake being as polite as possible –especially when someone is doing me a favor

Promise:

What on Earth?!

I promise to be respectful to all life on earth by not littering, not harming animals or plants not throwing away things that could be reused not wasting electricity (turn off lights, close doors) not wasting water (shower quickly) not taking unnecessary car trips

16 Guidelines 16 Guidelines for a for Happy Life Life www.essential-education.org www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: Once upon a Time – Now that's Different! -- respecting other cultures and abilities It can be a great pleasure sampling the variety of food, music and stories from cultures around the world. Folklore stories are wisdom that have been passed down for generations. They can teach us respect for different ways of doing things. Your librarian can point you to the folklore section at your library (398.2 in Dewey Decimal system) or go online at the Internet Public Library or at Folklore and Mythology Electronic Texts. Share the wealth of stories of the Abenaki, Aesop, the Anansi stories of the Ashanti, Arabian nights, legends of King Arthur, and that's just the A's!. Try the Treasure Hunt below to see if you can match the folklore characters to their places of origin.

Folklore Treasury – What a character!

Can you match up these characters and sources? Answers are on the Instant Replay page. 1 2 3 4 5 6

Anansi the Spider King Arthur Trickster Coyote Leprechauns Hercules Guan Yu

A B C D E F

Click on this icon to read over 600 fables, or click here to see a group of about 90 fables that are the easiest to understand.

Native American Old England Ghana West Africa China Greece Ireland

Caeman Toombs

Treasure Hunt:

Try this Video Investigation to see amazing uplifting videos of achievements of the 'disabled'. Video Investigation:

Karmability

Do you think a grocery bagger with Down Syndrome could make a big difference for Johnny the bagger: a large company, or that a girl born with http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=108 only two fingers on each hand could be a concert pianist? If not, watch these videos The four fingered pianist: at www.karmatube.org. You may gain new http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=168 respect for what people with imagination and determination are 'able' to do! 16 Guidelines 16 Guidelines for a for Happy Life Life www.essential-education.org www.16Guidelines.org

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Instant Replay for Respect:

I wonder if you think the photo of the West African Elder was a good choice to represent 'Respect'.

Who are your Personal Elders? What do you respect about your heritage or culture? Why?

What is an example of a way to be respectful at home? At school?

Answers to Treasure Hunt : 1C 2B 3A 4F 5E 6D

Are you independent? Do you depend on anyone else? Who? How?

What questions do you have about Respect? What is an example of a way to be respectful in public? With friends? What advances from the past are important in your life today? What can you do to show respect for the earth?

Answers to Name Shape Connection: Resco Fola Graca Riche

He's a scroll, symbol of knowledge, diploma from college, escola in Portuguese means school. Connect, community. She's a teardrop, symbol of relief of letting go of anger, also the good kind of healthy regret. Lagrima is tear in Spanish. She's a house, symbol of nurturing and shelter, the two eyes represent a baby and an adult lifting it and caring for it. Casa means house in Spanish. She's a check mark with a can do attitude, taking part in the process, following through.

Nansi, the symbol for 'How we Relate', is a spider web, sign of connectedness and interdependence, and homage to West African folklore of Anansi the Spider.

16 Guidelines 16 Guidelines for a for Happy Life Life www.essential-education.org www.16Guidelines.org

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Guideline 10 : Forgiveness

► Humility

► Respect

► Patience

► Forgiveness

► Contentment

► Gratitude

► Delight

► Responsibility

► Kindness

► Principles

► Honesty

► Aspiration

► Generosity

► Service

► Thoughtful Speech

► Courage

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Character Guide: Fola Forgiveness

Fola forgives,

ness F orgive

means... e of ng p eac i m i a l c Re o etti ng g l y b d mi n d r towar of ange as e who h someon methi ng done so ul s hurtf l e e f t tha urb i ng. or di st

releasing anger and hurt, and reclaiming peace.

The guides' positive chants help you to remember the most important ideas. Say these over and over to remember them.

I forgive then I feel better.

“Holding a grudge is like watering a man-eating plant. Keeping it alive.” -- Caeman Toombs, 10yrs, USA

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Blue Marble Memory a poem and slideshow about forgiveness and connection in the cyclic existence of a single drop If I were a of water raindrop, above the planet earth, would I realize everywhere I'd been? Would I know, as I was about to quench the thirst of dry African plains, that earlier that week I had been in the eye of a koala in Australia, in the sneeze of a polar bear in the Arctic, and a drop rolling off the feathers of a duck in Puerto Rico? Would I know that humans are mostly water and that I had been in and out of thousands of people this year? Would I remember being part of the white lemonade a schoolgirl speaking Irish drank in Dingle, being in the hot tea of a rice farmer in Indonesia, in the sweat on the violinist's brow onstage at the symphony in New York, in the cool breath of the hiker in the mountains of Austria, and in the tears of joy for the birthday girl in Brazil? As a raindrop I might remember being part of a rainbow or a waterfall, seeing the other drops as they fell like little blue marbles, reflecting the world. I might see the earth in space as another blue marble and realize how connected we all are. I may meet you next as a beautiful fountain, a long cold drink, a snowflake sparkling in the sun or a puddle to play in. Forgive me if I splash you now. Forgive me if I leave a streak on your window. I am not yet a perfect raindrop, but if you give me a chance, and see me as I am, I may make you smile at a beautiful sunset; I am there in the clouds. We're sure to see each other again, for we are all See a slideshow connected that illustrates this poem here. Click 'view here. as slideshow', begin reading when you see the symbol of Fola and advance slides at each drop. Photo by Lindsay Stark 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Forgiveness Activities Try it now: Easy Does It. Experiment:

Magic Quicksand You need a box of the magic ingredient (it's called cornstarch in the U.S., cornflour in many other places), water, a spoon, and a bowl. Put some water in the bowl, add up to twice as much of the 'magic' powder, very slowly until it flows like thick honey. When you jab the spoon in quickly, no matter how hard you push, it won't go in. When you slide it in slowly, it goes in easily.

This is a little like quicksand. Play with it. If you are strong with this mixture, it acts like a solid. If you are gentle, it accommodates like a liquid and moves slowly out of the way. For more see the National Science Foundation article on 'oobleck' here.

This quicksand can teach you about forgiveness. If you react strongly to others' negative actions, you will get more resistance from them and within yourself. If you are gentle and patient in your response you may be accommodated and achieve more.

Unfortunately, there are many examples of times and places when people were forced to endure terrible situations, imprisonments or torture. Even as you read this many people may be undergoing horrendous experiences at the hands of others. May their suffering end.

Fortunately, even in the very worst cases, after years of suffering, there are strong examples of successful forgiveness. Those who can forgive their oppressors move on to reclaim peace of mind. Those who can’t forgive stay imprisoned by their own bitterness. Ask an adult to sit with you if you wish to read some very powerful stories at http://www.theforgivenessproject.com/

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: Lay your burden down

“To forgive is not just to be altruistic. It is the best form of self-interest.” -- Dr. Desmond Tutu, South Africa

Movement Game:

Book 'em -- A weight off my shoulders

Find a stack of books, pile of big rocks or bags of rice, anything you can hand back and forth to a partner and eventually will feel heavy to hold. Take turns passing items to each other so, for example, you hand three books to your partner who has to hold them for 10 seconds. Then your partner chooses a pile of books and hands them to you to hold for 10 seconds. If you can't hold the pile yourself, to pass it to your partner, it's too much. After you've done this for five turns each, the rules will change. This time agree between you on a certain amount of 'books'. The person giving the books can decide how long the other person has to hold them between 2 and 20 seconds. After three more turns each, change the rules again. This time the person holding the books gets to decide how long to hold them between 2 and 20 seconds. Then everyone have a seat to talk about this.

Imagine the heavy objects are the negative things that happen to you–perhaps a harm someone has done. Although you don't decide in real life how many troubles happen to you, how many 'books' you have to hold, you can decide to forgive a person for something, and when to stop carrying a grudge. Who does it hurt to be angry? Who suffers if you continue to feel hurt every time you think about something negative from the past? It doesn't mean you forget or deny what happened or don't try to protect yourself from being hurt again. It also doesn't mean that the action is acceptable or okay. It simply means you decide it is not serving you to keep carrying around the bitterness anymore. You can forgive, you can lay that burden down. It's heavy! Why would you want to carry it any longer? 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: Forgive, be forgiven.

Draw it!

Just Perfect

Try to draw a perfect circle without tracing around anything. Really try it. It's simple, but it's hard! It’s the same anytime you try to learn something new. You make mistakes until you get the hang of it. Even then, it's hard to do it perfectly.

Basically, you're human, so you make mistakes. We all do. Take a minute to think about mistakes you've made. For what would you like to be forgiven? It may be more important to forgive yourself than to look for this outside yourself. On the other hand, if you make an apology to someone you have hurt it may help them to let go of their bitterness. What mistakes have others made that hurt you and that you have not yet forgiven? If it still makes you mad, you're still carrying around those 'books'.

Can you put yourself in the place of the other person? Even if they are not sorry, it doesn't change the fact that the important work is inside your own head. You will know you have forgiven when you can think about that person or event and it travels easily through your mind. Can you see they are imperfect like you and made a poor choice? That's all. Bad hair day : No one's perfect.... 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: Magic Quicksand Live and in Person -- Any questions? Remember how being gentle and patient allowed you to move through the 'quicksand'? Can you use the example of this 'magic' mixture to be patient with someone you feel is being rude or unpleasant? Can you pause your first habitual reaction and think before you react? Example: If someone is behind you, waiting for the bus, and they 'fall' into you, it might be an accident. But when it happens again and again, what do you do? When I was eleven, every day at the bus stop the same girl would bump into me on purpose and laugh. It wasn't rough, but it was embarrassing and I thought it was rude. I felt out of control. I wasn't the type to get into a fight, so I did nothing. I ignored it, but it didn't go away. Finally, I decided to try something different. When she came, even though I wanted to hide from her, I turned around and started a conversation by asking a good question. I talked, listened to what she said, and kept her too busy to fall into me. The next day I talked to her more. At first it felt strange, but in a few days the problem was gone. I also learned about her culture which was different from my own. Pause and Question:

More than Yes or No...

Sometimes you can diffuse a problem with forgiveness in the moment by pausing your own reaction to rudeness and just asking a really good question. Notice three times this week when someone says or does something rude. Before you react, take a breath and ask them a polite, clarifying question. One they can't answer with just yes or no. See if that pause helps to shift the energy from confrontation to conversation. This can also work within families -- with teenagers to keep shouting matches from getting out of control or even to head them off altogether. Try the Pause and Question activity above with your brothers, sisters, and parents/ caregivers. Disagreements happen at home, because you may be ruder, and they more rude with you, when you are in a place where you feel safe to show emotion. Keeping this under control is important because you will probably have a longer relationship with your brothers and sisters than with anyone else in your life. You can make a foundation for a lifetime by pausing your reactions and asking a good question.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: Borrow peace from the future. I wonder if you worry and end up borrowing negative energy from the future for something that hasn't happened yet. Instead you could choose to borrow some peace from the future. If someone does a small thing to you that you don't like, you could think, “Next week,” or “Next month,” or “When I'm grown up, I won't remember this little thing. The person who did this is learning bad habits by making poor choices. I hope they make better choices so they don't harm anyone else, and they get on a better path.” Putting things in perspective may help you forgive.

Try it for real: Outgrowing Childish Ways If a baby hits you with their fist, you probably won’t get angry, because you realize they don't know better yet. You forgive them naturally and immediately.

Read and Discuss:

Childish Choices

We expect people to grow out of their childish or selfish ways as they get older but it doesn’t always happen. Read a newspaper or look at the news online. On the first page is there a story about a terrible choice someone made? Talk with someone about how that choice might have been made differently if the person had acted less like a child trying to get their own way. Read some of the other articles and consider how forgiveness could help in those cases for a happier and more peaceful society.

“Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.” -- Oscar Wilde, Anglo-Irish author 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

“Not forgiving is like holding a double-edged sword by the blade and trying to hit someone with it.“ -- Caeman Toombs, 10, USA

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Instant Replay for Forgiveness:

Do you think you will accomplish more with gentle patient reactions or with strong ones?

Is it possible to be perfect? Can you forgive yourself when you are not perfect?

What do you have to let go of to forgive? What do you get back?

Do you forgive for the benefit of the other person or for yourself?

What questions do you have about Forgiveness?

Who chooses if, and when, you stop carrying a grudge?

Who does it hurt to stay angry?

Is it harder to forgive yourself when you make a mistake than it would be to forgive a friend?

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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I wonder if you think the photo of two brothers hugging was a good choice to represent 'Forgiveness'.

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Guideline 11 : Gratitude

► Humility

► Respect

► Patience

► Forgiveness

► Contentment

► Gratitude

► Delight

► Responsibility

► Kindness

► Principles

► Honesty

► Aspiration

► Generosity

► Service

► Thoughtful Speech

► Courage

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Character Guide: Graca Gratitude

Graca thanks . means.. e d u it Grat i on p reci at p a g n i l Fee wi ng and sho or ul ness f thankf hers what ot nts) l y p are l a i c e p (es s. e for u n o d e v ha

and appreciates her parents, and others who help her.

The guides' positive chants help you to remember the most important ideas. Say these over and over to remember them.

Thanks to those who wiped my nose.

If this chant feels a little too real for you to say it out loud, just remember that it wasn't always easy taking care of you when you were small. If you prefer you could say, Thanks to those who washed my clothes. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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If I were a slug

Photo from Peter Moorman – The Netherlands

If I were a slug, I'd have no arms to hug my mother or my father or my older brother, Doug. I'd have to go to slug school. I'd take all day to 'walk' and when I finally got there, I couldn't hold the chalk. I'm thankful I can run. I'm glad I can be kind. I'm not sure how I'd do it leaving slimy trails behind. Each morning when I wake, I really ought to take a moment to be grateful that I'm me for goodness sake!

Photo taken in Liberia by Lindsay Stark

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Gratitude Activities Try it now: Glowing/Growing with Gratitude Whatever your circumstance there is no doubt that you have experienced other people’s kindness. When you were small there were those who looked after you before you could care for yourself, making sure you had food, clothing, and shelter. This type of kindness goes back for generation after generation of your family.

As you got older there were those who taught you to play games and sing songs, to read, and how to cross a road safely. Right now in your life you have teachers, family and friends who help you every day, providing for you, teaching you how to do things, and playing with you.

Even strangers show you kindness by returning their books to the library so you too can borrow them, by obeying stop signs so you can travel safely, by training to fight fires and by serving in shops. How fortunate you are! Can you think of at least three people who have done something for you today? Pause to feel gratitude then try the Imagine activity.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Imagine:

Lights and Wings Sit calmly for a few minutes and relax. When you are ready, close your eyes. Think of your favorite color. Imagine you are a transparent glass vase of that color. Imagine that each of the little things anyone has done for you becomes a tiny spot of light. Imagine you are nearly filled to the rim with all these beautiful bright lights which continue to come in as you watch. Imagine you are warm and glowing, overflowing with light from the kind efforts of others. Now imagine a stack of small flat boxes at your side. As the light spills out of the top of your vase self, imagine catching the light in the boxes, slowly, letting each one fill then moving on to the next. After a while take this stack of boxes filled with light and hold them in front of you. Feel the warmth of the light in them.

As you watch, imagine each box in turn sprouts white dove's wings and flies off to a few special people you would like to thank for what they have done for you. Imagine who the boxes of light are flying to. Can you see their faces? When you are ready, open your eyes and write down the first few names that came to your mind.

It would mean a lot to the people who have been helpful to you to know that you thought of them in this way. You could write them a gratitude note and decorate it with wings or glitter or other images that came to mind.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: Who touched my Lunch? Do you grow your own food, using tools you made yourself, and raise your own animals? Just to be able to eat lunch you probably have help from someone else. In fact LOTS of other people and animals helped! Just to have a simple butter and honey sandwich with a glass of apple juice, for example, probably involves hundreds of people and thousands of animals. The sandwich bread: the wheat – people who bred the seeds, farmers who grew it, insects who made the soil it grew in, people who made the farm machines, those who stored the wheat, those who ground it into flour.

the bakery – people who baked it and provided the fuel to cook it, clean water to mix with the wheat, yeast to make it rise, the pans to cook it in, the wrapper to package it, and the ovens and slicing machines.

the store – people who arranged to stock it, drivers who brought it, people who built the road and made the fuel for the delivery van, stockers who put it on the shelf, the person who bought it and brought it home. the idea -the Fourth Earl of Sandwich who is credited with inventing the idea of using sliced bread for this purpose!

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Can you imagine how long the list might be if we considered not only the bread, but also the butter, the honey, and the juice? With all of this interdependence you might forget that many people are going hungry. As you play the following game keep in mind that many children and adults will not have a lunch to eat tomorrow.

* Game:

It takes a village to make a sandwich

Try listing all those who might be involved for providing the butter and honey sandwich and glass of juice. Or, for the items in a typical lunch you might have. A fun way to do it would be to sit in a circle with a group of friends and go around one at a time saying a person or animal that might have been involved in providing the last meal you ate. See how a suggestion from one can give the others more ideas about the people and animals that could go on this list of interdependence.

*top and bottom photos in this column by Lindsay Stark 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: The Blessings of Counting Blessings

Art Project:

Gratitude and the Greater Good

Can you think of five things you are grateful for that happened this week? Use clippings from magazines to make a collage linking the things you are grateful for to the efforts of others. Alternatively you could make a drawing, or a poem about this connection. Ask your parents or caregivers to check out the YouTube video about Gratitude from the Greater Good Science Center mentioned below. It only takes four minutes and it will help them help you to practice this skill called Gratitude to be happier more of the time. Photo by Lindsay Stark

Do you want to feel 25% happier? One way is to write five sentences a week into a Gratitude journal. Dr. Robert Emmons describes a study that showed a significant connection between expressing gratitude and getting better sleep and having fewer health complaints. Those asked to write about five hassles or simply five events did not get these benefits. In a second study participants wrote about positive events every day for two weeks. They felt more joyful, energetic, attentive, strong and enthusiastic than those who wrote about hassles, and they helped others more. Improvements were measured by family and friends who did not know which group participants were in. You may write your first five sentences now if you like! This work inspired a project at a middle school where students recorded five things they were grateful for during the previous day. The clear result was “higher levels of optimism, increased life satisfaction, and decreased negative feelings.” The students also appreciated their close relationships more and felt better about school. So, to be happier, you need to stop focusing on the hassles and count your blessings --- its good science! Ask your parents/caregivers to see the very short YouTube video and the printable fridge idea sheet about this subject and look at the other links related to the science of how to grow up happy at Half Full from the Greater Good Science Center.

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Try it for real: I'd like to Thank each and every one of you! There are very few things we do completely by ourselves. You may be helping others in small ways every day. Perhaps you look after a younger brother or sister or help with jobs at home or take charge of your studies. Perhaps you help as a volunteer or work alongside others in your family business. What does it feel like when you are thanked compared with when your efforts are forgotten? Do you feel like helping out more, or less if your efforts are recognized? There are measurable benefits to yourself of expressing gratitude and there are benefits for the person to whom you express it -- they will feel good. A third benefit is that they will want to help you in the future. So try practicing this for yourself and see what you notice about how you feel, and about how those you thank respond.

Practice:

I am fortunate right now. Thanks!

Choose a day to focus on the efforts of others in your own life by saying “thank you” every time before you eat, every time before you walk into your house, every time you walk into school, every time you take out a toy or get a drink of water. Sometimes say it out loud, but at least say it to yourself. See if it helps you to feel good. Then try it for another day, this time saying as many “thank you”s as you can out loud to others for their efforts. How do you feel about your day now?

Photo by Caeman Toombs

Every year in the spring we help with a Teacher Appreciation Dinner to show the local teachers how grateful we are for their efforts helping our children. The families make them dinner, the children perform songs for them, make them gifts, and we give them a handmade silk corsage (directions to make them can be found here). You could suggest doing this too, to express your gratitude.

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Try it for real: Has it Bean a Good Day? MHB! A photographer friend in Germany told me of a very practical way to focus on gratitude. It comes from a story relayed by Marlies Ruberg and translated by Doug Bauman. The story is about a woman who puts a hand full of dried beans into her pocket in the morning. Each time she experiences a moment that delights her senses or her heart she moves a bean to the other pocket. In the evening, she pulls out the moved beans, even if there are only one or two, and is fully aware of each happy moment that made the day worthwhile to live. Photo by Peter Moorman -- The Netherlands

Practice:

Make a Memory, Move a Bean

Put a few dried beans (or pennies, pistachios, stones etc.) in one pocket. Each time you experience a joyful moment (like when you hear a bird sing, take a deep breath of cool fresh air, eat a good meal, see a beautiful sky, have a nice talk with a friend, enjoy the company of an animal, learn something new from a special teacher, see a grand old tree or a new baby's smile, enjoy a nice walk, swim or a perfect cup of tea) transfer a bean to the other pocket. At the end of the day, remember the moments of joy and feel gratitude. Say a quiet thank you for each fortunate experience. May you run out of beans when you try this! At our house when something good happens unexpectedly we say, “Yay! Move a bean!” or “MHB” our code for “move a hypothetical bean.” Photo by Caeman Toombs

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Try it for real: Many Thanks, Parental Units! Many of you are being raised by one or both parents. Some of you are being raised by other family or caregivers. Let's call them all 'parents' for this activity. Focusing on a moving target...

Parenting can be difficult and dirty work. A ‘help-wanted ad’ for parents I saw said ‘willing to be indispensable one moment and an embarrassment the next’.

Folksinger Pete Seeger, USA, told us that parents are the hardest working portion of the population, who do it for the high wages – kisses. Have you thanked your parents lately? On the run from a bear!

Helping behind the scenes.

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It can be harder to thank someone for actions you feel are owed to you, or if you take them for granted. Remember, that every day family members die unexpectedly. If that happens to a parent of yours it would be difficult, but how wonderful if you have said your “thank you's” along the way instead of having regrets!

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Use your Words:

Say it to Pay it

Make sure your parents get paid! This week, make an effort to thank your parents at least once each day (for cooking a meal, working hard, giving you a lift), by saying “thank you” or leaving them a note or giving them a hug or kiss.

When I tuck my youngest child into bed I tell him, “I love you very much.” He has started telling me, “I love you more, “ and then I say, “I don't know if that is possible.” If your parents have died or are not close by for some reason the next best way to thank them is by practicing these skills to be happy. That's what they wanted the most, anyway.

Thanks, Dad, for driving me to all those music lessons.

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Thanks, Mom, for everything!

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It is normal for close, long-term relationships to have bumps and bruises. Parents must choose what they think is right for you, even when it is something you will not like. You choose whether to dwell on only the bumps or the good things or to balance both. Ram Daas, USA, told adults, “If you think you're so enlightened, go and spend a week with your parents!” Can you imagine why that might be a challenge when you are grown? Someday you may be taking care of your parents, making decisions for them, supporting them. I wonder if thinking about that transition will help you to be more understanding about the bumps you have with your parents now. It was difficult for me when my father died, going through his possessions, every piece of paper, with him no longer in charge. How much harder it would have been if I had not shown him gratitude while he was still alive! I know I did all I could to thank him. My husband remembers when his father was young and strong. Our teenage son who sometimes has a friendly wrestle with his dad asked, “Do you remember when you were first strong enough to beat Grandpa?” “Yes, but it wouldn't have been fun at that point.”

You are not in a competition with your parents, not a battle, not a contest. You are paddling your common boat to where you can take over the steering and hopefully they will smile when you do so. Let them teach you to read the water while their view is clearer, and thank them for their help. When your time to be Captain comes you will need all the skills they have taught you to successfully navigate your own life.

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Instant Replay for Gratitude :

Who are you grateful to? Why?

Approximately how many people and animals were involved in providing your lunch?

What is a simple way to acknowledge and feel grateful for the joyful moments of How might it the day? change your attitude to show more gratitude? Does it cost you anything?

I wonder if you feel it would be easy to 'parent' a person who acts the way you do.

How do you show gratitude in your family?

How do you feel if someone doesn't notice or appreciate something you do for them?

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

What questions do you have about Gratitude?

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I wonder if you think the photo of a child giving his mother a gift was a good choice to represent 'Gratitude'.

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Guideline 12 : Responsibility

► Humility

► Respect

► Patience

► Forgiveness

► Contentment

► Gratitude

► Delight

► Responsibility

► Kindness

► Principles

► Honesty

► Aspiration

► Generosity

► Service

► Thoughtful Speech

► Courage

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Character Guide: Riche Responsibility

sibility n o p s e R means...

Riche steps up to do what needs to be done -- others can count on him.

person Bei ng a n be who ca up on. counted . ab i l i ty D epend l i ty . R el i ab i . astness f d a e t S The guides' positive chants help you to remember the most important ideas. Say these over and over to remember them.

Through thick or thin count me in.

When we talk about being “Responsible” to loved ones and friends, we use words like steadfast, dependable, reliable, and constant. Some also use “Loyalty” to describe being responsible with those who are close. This practice can help us to extend our responsibility out to everyone. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Response Ability a twelve measure call and response rhythmic chant to be clapped/snapped slowly and evenly emphasizing blue downbeats

1 2 3

Caller:

Crowd or Responder:

Do I need some help when things are going right?

No!

Do I need some help in the dark of the night?

Yes!

When will you be ready to step on in?

Through thick or thin,

4 5

count me in!

Leaned on, called on, trusted and relied upon?

Through thick or thin,

6 7

count me in!

Steppin' in, steppin' out, steppin' up without a doubt?

Through thick or thin,

8 9 10 11

count me in!

I've got a friend I see! --

You can depend on me! --

And I will be there too! --

When someone else needs you.--

Take it on, bring it on, it's time to begin, so...

12

All:

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

Through thick or thin, count us in! --

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Responsibility Activities Try it now: Connections You are interconnected. You share roads, schools, shops, air, playgrounds, a planet and more. What you do -- or don't do -- affects others. Like a tower of blocks or a pile of sticks, it is hard to affect one and not the others. You are interdependent. You depend on others and they on you. The following activities investigating interconnection may help you see the importance of putting effort into being strong and reliable.

Only as strong as its weakest link...

Game:

Homemade pick-up-sticks

Get 20 chopsticks, skewers, straws, pencils, sticks or pine needles -- all the same size and shape, straight, stiff, and the length of a chopstick. Hold the sticks loosely in a bundle with one end just above a flat surface and the other end straight up. Release them so they fall in all directions. Pick up one at a time -- without moving the others, or then it's the next person's turn. Try to get the most sticks. You can make some sticks worth more by marking them with a stripe of paint. This can be a cooperative game if you work together to pick up all the sticks in the fewest turns.

Experiment:

'Floatilla'

Play with objects floating in water to see if you can move one and not the others -- leaves in a pond, berries in a bowl, or marshmallows in a sink. It is amazing how far away you can be and still affect the other objects. We are all connected.

Art Project:

The dashed path

In the cartoon Family Circus a dashed line marks a child's path. Imagine you left a trail of your connection to others in a typical day. Draw where you go, who you see, and who you talk to on the phone or computer. Dash your route from morning 'til night, showing who you might affect. What does your web of connectedness look like?

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Try it now: What does it all mean? Many words have meanings similar to 'responsible'. Word Play:

Unscramble Responsibly

Unscramble these letters to spell words with meanings similar to 'responsible'. (Clue: first and last letters are in the right place.) DEANEPLDBE

RABEILLE

TWUSTROTHRY

SFEDATAST

LAYOL

The answers are on the Instant Replay page at the end of this section.

Try it now: Don't take my word for it, either! Six quotes on Responsibility from around the world have been cut in half. There are several difficulty levels to choose from as you match them back up. If you make it to Level 3 or up please send us an email at the link at the bottom left of this page. The answers are on the Instant Replay page.

Matches on the 2nd Level

Puzzle/Game:

Print out the following page on card weight paper, or print then glue to thicker paper. Cut into twelve cards along the lines. Reunite the two halves of the quotes. Level 1: Lay all cards out face up, and match them as a group effort. Level 2: Turn all cards face down and take turns turning over two at a time looking for a match. Play until all sets are matched. Level 3: Extend the game by adding cards from the two other sections with quote matchups (Generosity and Aspiration). Level 4: Find or write quotes about Responsibility or other guidelines to make your own cards. Level 5: Study the quotes and quiz each other by holding up the first halves and seeing who can remember the second halves.

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Matches on the 2nd Level -- Gamecards

G12 – 1

G12 – 2

G12 – 3

It's the friends you can call up...

To live the full life, one must have the courage to bear the responsibility...

We must love friends for their sake...

G12 – 5

G12 – 6

It is not enough to stare up the steps,...

Knowing is not enough; we must apply...

G12 – 4

It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot...

G12 – A

...we must step up the stairs. -- Vaclav Havel, Czech Republic

G12 – B

...dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities. -- Josiah Charles Stamp, UK

G12 – E

...at 4 a.m. that matter.

...rather than for our own.

-- Marlene Dietrich, Germany

-- Charlotte Bronte, UK

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...of the needs of others. -- Aung San Suu Kyi, Burma

G12 – F

G12 – D

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G12 – C

...Willing is not enough; we must do. -- Johann von Goethe, Germany

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Try it for real: The Message is 'You can count on me.' How does it feel if someone breaks their promise to you? If a friend says she will bring water to the game but forgets, and you go thirsty, or if your cousin plans to meet you after school but goes to a movie instead, does it say anything about how they value you? What message do you send to others with your actions? Does your behavior say, “You can count on me, I follow through,” or “It may or may not get done, depending on how I feel at the time”? How do you feel if you don't show up when you promised to meet a friend? Have you sent the message, “You are not important enough for me to keep my promises to you”?

Promise/Observe:

Photo : Mike_tn

I say it =>I do it. Got the message?

Do you want your friends and family to feel they are valuable to you and that you can be counted on to follow through? For a week, can you focus on doing everything you say you're going to do? You may need to make a note of what you promise so you don’t forget. Be reliable and open to taking on something new you feel is important.

Acting responsibly shows friends that your word has value and you can be trusted. They may respond by sharing more of their time and belongings. This teaches the adults in your life that you are ready for the next level of being grown up. I tell my teenager, “You are teaching me how to parent you by how you act. You are telling me what you can handle.”

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Promise: Implied Responsibility For a day, as well as doing what you say you will, can you do all the implied things, like picking up after yourself and keeping up with school work? This will require organization and focus. You may find it helpful to make a list with boxes you can check off such as homework, exercise, playtime, instrument practice and household chores.

To become responsible, at first get the habit of doing what you specifically promise to do. Then do what is implied by being a member of a family, team or group. Then do what you are asked by those close to you. Finally, you will see what needs to be done and step up to do it!

Opportunity:

Find new ways -- Step up

This week, look for ways to improve things for your friends and family. When you see a problem, do what you can to fix it. If a friend drops something, help pick it up. If someone is being teased, find safe ways to support them. Step up to take on challenges you see around you. What difference can you make in your local world?

A range of opportunities exists to ‘step up’ and be responsible. You could voluntarily sweep the walk when you see it needs it, spend time with a friend who is going through hard times, help start a sports program to keep children out of trouble, or ask for extra lessons if the group you lead at school is not being challenged. Please email to tell us what you did – even the small steps are great progress!

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Try it for real: Don't Play Chameleon Do you know what chameleons do? They can change colors to match their surroundings. My 11-year-old son calls people 'chameleons' who change who they are or how they act to look good in front of different people. How do you feel if you see someone change their views, stories or tone of voice depending on who they talk to? Is this okay sometimes? Photo by Paul Shaffner

Observe:

Am I turning green?

This week watch yourself to see if you act differently when you are with old friends, a new group of friends, parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, teachers, or someone you don't like. Which ways of acting differently are responsible, doing what is helpful, and which are being a 'chameleon', not being yourself, just so you blend in?

Experiment: Red cabbage... no, purple, no green! red! You need a red cabbage*, water, pan, stove, several cotton swabs (or a coffee filter**) and an adult to help you. Chop ¼ of the cabbage, put it in the pan, cover it with water, boil until the water turns deep purple. Let it cool, then drain off the juice. Dip both tips of the swabs (or the whole coffee filter) in the juice and let them dry. Dip the swabs (or strips of the coffee filter) in various safe liquids and notice what happens to the color. Try vinegar, a solution of baking soda (sodium bicarbonate) and water, and other liquids like orange or lemon juice, salt water, sugar water or milk. The colors should change as if by magic. *you can use blueberries or red onions if no cabbage is available. ** you can use a paper towel or white tissue paper, but the filters and swabs work better.

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What's going on? The color change from purple to red or green, indicates a change in the environment for the dried cabbage juice. That change is the pH or acid level of the liquid it touches. Changing how you act because you are in a library or religious building, is helpful and responsible. That is not being a 'chameleon'.

Write a Play:

Reptilian Playwrights

Can you write your own short play like the ones at the beginning of the Humility and Respect sections? Create one character who acts like a 'chameleon' and one who doesn’t. For example, they might change what they say they like based on what friends in two different groups say. It might be something small like their favorite card game, or something really important. Get creative! We'd love to read your play!

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Try it for real: I'd like to thank my support crew.... Photo Sharla Flora

All of us need support at certain times in our lives. You need friends on your support crew who you trust to ask, “Do I have ketchup on my face?” who won't tease you about the answer. You need adults to rely on if you can’t talk about a problem with your parents/caregivers. You can strive to be this type of friend and to grow into this kind of responsible adult.

Imagine:

We have a situation here....

Sit quietly and imagine these scenes. Notice who comes to mind in each one. 1. You are playing with a group of friends at one of their homes. Someone slaps a note on your back and the others laugh. Who do you ask what it really says? 2. It is lunchtime at school when you find a hole in your pocket instead of lunch money. Who can you ask to borrow money? Who will trust you or share their lunch with you? 3. You are doing homework when your brother collapses next to you. Who do you call? 4. You are at home alone for the first time. It feels good to be trusted to keep out of trouble. You wash an apple for a snack, but the tap breaks when you turn it off and water squirts everywhere. You can't reach your parents, who do you go to or call? Why not thank friends you rely on and adults you want to be like for being there for you?

You already serve your friends, family and other groups like sports teams. As you get older you may have to choose between groups when it is not possible to serve them all. I spent several months away from my family, including my son turning from eight to nine while I cared for a dying family member. This was one of the hardest things I ever did, but it was easier when my son said, “It's okay, Mommy, I know you are needed more there right now.”

Read:

My People, My Family

Read about Aung San Suu Kyi who had to choose between the needs of her country and her family. For nearly two decades she has been under house arrest in Burma for her political activities, missing out on being with her children as they grew up and being with her husband when he died. Choosing between responsibilities is not easy, but it helps to remember we are fortunate to have more than one place to be of help. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Instant Replay for Responsibility:

What message does it send to other people when you miss an appointment?

How are you interconnected with other people?

Which was your favorite quote about Responsibility?

Do you need friends when times are good, bad, or both? Why?

What are some other words that can mean 'Responsible'?

What do red cabbage and chameleons have to do with Responsibility?

Who are the friends and adults who are on your dependable support crew?

Is it important to you to be trusted? Why?

I wonder if you think the photo of a girl walking her dog was a good choice to represent 'Responsibility'.

Answers to word unscramble: DEPENDABLE RELIABLE STEADFAST TRUSTWORTHY LOYAL

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Part IV : How we find Meaning in Life

has impacts on .

How we find meaning in life... steadies us in a changing world.

16 Courage 15 Service

14 Aspiration

13 Principles

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Guideline 13 : Principles

► Humility ► Patience ► Contentment ► Delight ► Kindness ► Honesty ► Generosity ► Thoughtful Speech ► Respect ► Forgiveness ► Gratitude ► Responsibility ► Principles

13

► Aspiration ► Service ► Courage 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Character Guide: Prindi Principles

Prindi finds direction

les Princip

and guidance from rules he chooses to help him set his course.

. means..

e g to us Choosi n r rul es o s e n i l gui de make to hel p ns deci si o h g u o t the i n l i fe.

The guides' positive chants help you to remember the most important ideas. Say these over and over to remember them.

I know my way. I walk my path.

Big decisions are easier if you have decided ahead of time what guiding principles are important to you. “Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.” – Alexander Hamilton, USA 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Positive Principle rePrise a playful poem for your palms*

Each of you gives me a lesson. I'm like water, patient, still, searching for the path downhill. I have what I need, if I don't feed my greed. No need to wait let's celebrate. My joy times two, when I'm happy for YOU!

Humility Patience Contentment Delight

Care for others. Keep trying. Honesty works best for me. I can share my stuff. I have enough. When I'm wise I think more, speak less.

Kindness Honesty Generosity Thoughtful Speech

Let's honor each who guide, or teach. I forgive then I feel better. Thanks to those who wiped my nose. Through thick or thin, count me in. I know my way. I walk my path.

Respect Forgiveness Gratitude Responsibility

I strive to be a better me. Giving time from my day can help in some way. Let's think big, be brave, now begin! *Clap on the black syllables as you chant. Variation: call and echo or shout the guideline name you may recall for each 'line.' Click the note symbol for tunes and recordings of the chants. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Principles Aspiration Service Courage

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Principles Activities Try it now: Meet the 'How we Find Meaning' Guides. The character guides each help you to learn about a guideline that starts with the same sound as their name. The ‘How we Find Meaning’ guides are Prindi Principles, Asta Aspiration, Serzo Service, and Cofi Courage. The last syllable of many of their first names has something to do with their shapes. I wonder if you can guess that connection for each one....the answer is at the end of this Principles section.

Art Project: 13-14-15-16 Print the drawing (page A3-4) of the four ‘How we Find Meaning’ characters. Color the page and think about what gives meaning to your life. Consider if you already know your principles and aspirations, if you already live a courageous life of service or if you could still improve. Glue the page to thicker paper if you have it, then cut along the lines to make four cards to use in the game below.

Game:

Matching/Concentration

Make two sets of cards in the Art Project above. The thicker paper is important so you can't see through the back side of the cards. Play the matching game ‘Concentration’ by placing all the cards (including those you may have made from other sections) face down, taking turns turning over two at a time to try to find the same characters. If you find a match, say something about the guideline before you take up the set. You could give an example of when you or someone else showed that quality this week, or when you wish you had. Keep taking turns until all pairs are matched. Try it as a cooperative game and see how few turns you need to match them all. When you finish playing put the cards up on the wall or fridge, one at a time, to keep one guideline in mind each week.

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Try it now: If you were head of the kingdom... The 16 guidelines include qualities that have been important to many cultures over time. The poster on the next page shows those 16 guidelines with a picture for each one. Are these the principles you live by? How do you decide what path to take?

Imagine/Write:

Eight Personal Principles

Imagine you are a leader of your country and you want the people to be happy. Can you think of at least 8 important principles or rules to suggest for a happy life? What would help people to make decisions day to day about how to think, act, or spend their time? Write these suggestions down, then get in touch to tell us which guidelines YOU thought of for your country. If you want to really walk your talk, make a plan to test out living by the rules you listed above. When you try it for real, do not be distracted from what you listed as most important. Try it for a week then talk with someone about how it went. Revise or update your rules if needed and try it again. See if it makes you feel happy to live by them, and if it makes any of your decisions easier.

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See a slideshow of these posters here. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: A force field against bad advice

Experiment:

Shields Up!

You will need a bowl, water, talcum powder, a towel and an adult to help you. Fill the bowl with water, leaving a little space at the top. Have the adult sprinkle talcum powder evenly on the water, covering the whole surface until it's solid white. Take care not to breathe in the powder. Make sure your fingers are dry, then dip a finger quickly into and out of the water, all the way past the second knuckle. Did it get wet? Your finger should stay dry, even though it was below the water. I wonder why? If you keep it below the water a long time, does your finger still stay dry?

Like the talcum powder, your principles can act as a shield to protect you from bad advice so that you are more able to help yourself, your friends, families, communities and the whole world. When you follow your principles rather than bad advice you act wisely. You know how to handle difficult situations. One symbol for wisdom is a white water lily because even though it grows up through mud, it opens clean, pure and beautiful, protected from the dirt around it.

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Try it for real: Picture This “What you are speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say” – Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist.

Art Project:

Finding Direction

For a week, observe people in your life, including yourself. Can you notice when someone's principles help them to make a decision about what to do or what not to do? Imagine there is an art or photo contest for pictures showing people using their principles to be happier. What would your picture look like if you were to enter? Draw, paint or photograph someone to capture the idea of 'Principles.' If you like, send us a copy or photo of your artwork. We'd love to see it.

Here are some art projects we have done involving symbols for the 16 guidelines, including bookmarks, a string of flags, and ornaments. Try these or your own ideas.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: It's in My Hands Have you played any clapping hand games? It's fun to try to keep up and play faster, trying to remember the motions and the words. This clapping game is based on the Positive Chants of the character guides. Each of the four verses goes with one of the Parts of Ready Set Happy and each 'line' goes with one of the 16 Guidelines. This game will take practice, but you will have lots of laughs as you're learning. You will also be saying and hearing ideas about the guidelines that you can use in your own life. Do you feel positive, negative or neutral as you learn this game?

Clapping Game:

It's In My Hands

Take time this week (with a partner to help you) to learn these motions for the rhyme on the following page. Claps -- There are seven types of claps, three you do by yourself and four with a partner: • cross -- cross your hands and touch your palms to the top of your own chest, just below your shoulders. • lap -- touch your palms to the tops of your thighs. • clap -- do a regular clap, both of your palms together. • R – cross your right vertical palm to clap against your partners right palm. • L – same as R but with left hands. • back – touch backs of your hands to backs of your partner's hands (thumbs to the outside). • front – touch both palms to both your partner's palms (thumbs to the inside). Combination Motions – There are only three combinations used: an introductory three beat combination to begin each verse (cross, lap, clap), done twice as slowly an eight beat combination for each line (R, clap, L, clap, clap, back, front, clap*), and a final combination for the end of the game. (cross, lap, clap, front). * last clap left off before intro combo if no syllable to match.

lap

laugh

clap

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That may be all you need to learn the motions, but they are also listed with the words. Bold syllables and an audio file here will help you match up the words and motions for each line. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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It's In My Hands (verse one): I THINK that...

(verse one): cross lap clap

Each of you gives me a lesson.

R clap L clap clap back front clap

I'm like water, patient, still, searching for the path downhill.

R clap L clap clap back front clap R clap L clap clap back front

I have what I need, if I don't feed my greed. clap

R clap L clap clap back front

No need to wait let's celebrate My joy times two, when I'm happy for YOU!

clap clap

R clap L clap clap back front R clap L clap clap back front

(verse two): Take ACTion...

(verse two): cross lap clap

Care for others. Keep trying.

R clap L clap clap back front clap

Honesty works best for me.

R clap L clap clap back front

I can share my stuff. I have enough.

clap

When I'm wise I think more, speak less. (verse three): Re LATE it!

R clap L clap clap back front clap R clap L clap clap back front clap

(verse three): cross lap clap

Let's honor each who guide, or teach.

R clap L clap clap back front clap

I forgive then I feel better.

R clap L clap clap back front clap

Thanks to those who wiped my nose.

R clap L clap clap back front

Through thick or thin, count me in.

clap

(verse four): Find MEANing....

(verse four): cross lap clap

I know my way. I walk my path. I strive to be a better me.

R clap L clap clap back front

R clap L clap clap back front clap

R clap L clap clap back front

Giving time from my day can help in some way. clap

R clap L clap clap back front clap

Let's think big, be brave, now begin!

R clap L clap clap back front

(end): It's

in..

my ..

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

Hands!

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Try it for real: Role model Roulette

“We cannot abdicate our conscience to an organization, nor to a government.” -- Albert Schweitzer, Germany/France. You can choose your principles one by one or you might follow the principles of someone you look up to, a role model you respect, but you don't want to follow blindly. How do you choose the people you look up to? Who looks up to you? This Imagine will help you think about who you really want to imitate, and who is looking to you for an example.

Imagine/Implement:

Looking up, Looking over

Sit quietly and think for a moment about who you look up to. Are they celebrities? Teachers? Sports stars? Now think about who you respect. Are they Nobel prize winners? Religious figures? Experts in areas you care about? Who do you most admire? Are they other students at school? Make a list of all the people that came to your mind. Now as you go over the list, consider if you would really like to be like each of them. Why? Why not? Can you imagine yourself as this person? Ask yourself: What would it be like? Would you be happy? Would you be proud of yourself? It has been said that “Our best friends are those in whose company we are our best selves.” Do you think you would be your best self in the company of the role models on your list? What quality specifically would you like to improve on this week to become more like your role models? Write that at the bottom of your list. Now, think about anyone who looks up to you -- perhaps a little brother or sister, or a younger friend. Are you an example worth imitating? How could you improve so you'd be more of an encouragement to these others? During this week how will you keep your ideas for improvement in mind so you don't forget your goals?

“When I'm trying to decide what to do, I think, what do I want to do? What would be good for me to do? And what would be good for other people for me to do? Then I think of them as me, myself, and I and have a conference.” -- Caeman Toombs, 10 years, USA

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Instant Replay for Principles:

What can be used as a shield for bad advice?

Why is it useful to have principles?

Do you have any questions about Principles? Which situations challenge your principles? What does Which of the 16 Prindi say? Were there guidelines would you “I know my ___. people on your most like to develop I walk my ___.” list of role models As a pretend yourself? you would do better leader, did you not to follow? choose any principles not on the list of 16 guidelines? What were they? I wonder Answers to Name Shape Connection: if you think the photo of children walking to school was a good choice for 'Principles'.

Prindi Asta Serzo Cofi

He's a compass for finding direction, setting our course, making decisions. She's a star, symbol of reaching beyond limits, great achievement. He's a heart, symbol of compassion. The Spanish word for heart is corazon. He's a lion, symbol of courage. Lions are fierce felines. The fire of the Olympic torch is another symbol for courage.

The symbol for 'How we find Meaning' is a Greek letter Delta which is shaped like a triangle, a stable shape. Delta represents change in scientific notation. How we find meaning in life steadies us in a world that is always changing. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Guideline 14 : Aspiration

► Humility

► Respect

► Patience

► Forgiveness

► Contentment

► Gratitude

► Delight

► Responsibility

► Kindness

► Principles

► Honesty

► Aspiration

► Generosity

► Service

► Thoughtful Speech

► Courage

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Character Guide: Asta Aspiration

Asta strives to improve every day, inspired by nature, the arts, and the lives of others.

eans...

ion m Aspirat

become o t g n i v . Stri we are n a h t r b ette nspi red Bei ng i ove, to i mpr ve, to evol me. to b eco

The guides' positive chants help you to remember the most important ideas. Say these over and over to remember them.

I strive to be a better me.

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” -- Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Race for Rampal A short play about two sisters set in a summer field, to be read aloud by two people. Jenny: (a small child, laying on her back, listening to her older sister play the flute, looking up at the clouds) Look at that one! It looks like a cat. Like our cat at the old farm. Oh, now it's going away. I wanted to draw a picture of it. Sonja: (putting down her flute) But it's okay, now it looks like a swan. Do you miss our old cat? Jenny: Yes, things are always changing like the clouds. Sometimes I don't like it. Sonja: But sometimes you do, like at the beginning of the summer when you grew out of your old shoes and it made you mad at first... Jenny: ...but then I got to wear your pretty shoes because I was big enough to fit into them....I also liked it when summer came and it wasn't dark so much anymore. Sonja: At school they told us that even our skin is changing new cells for old, all the time. Jenny: Won't I look like me when I get big? Sonja: You will, just little changes all the time. A little taller, a little stronger. Jenny: Good! I want to be the fastest runner and win races. What do you want to do? Sonja: I want to play beautiful music on my flute, like Rampal. When I hear the music he played it makes me feel wonderful. I want to be able to do that, too. And, of course, I will come cheer you on at your races! Jenny: Yes, yes, we can because everything is changing! Sonja: If everything is changing, anything is possible!

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Aspiration Activities “Aspire not to have more, but to be more.” -- Archbishop Oscar Romero, El Salvador

Try it now: Secret Super Powers Have you ever wished for super powers? Would you use them for yourself or to help your family, your friends, your community? Who would you be and what would you do? Anything is possible, so take your time to pick something really wonderful.

Imagine/Art Project:

Visualize the Possibilities

Sit quietly with eyes closed and imagine you are asleep in your own bed. Imagine it is early morning, and still dark. The sun is just peeking into your room. A ray of light slowly crosses the floor to land warmly on your face. The light is powerful and it contains the energy and ability for super human talents. All you have to do to get those talents is to take in your first deep hopeful breath of the morning, setting your intention to make the most of the day. Enjoy this powerful feeling as you inhale. Imagine what you will do today as a super hero. When you are ready open your eyes. Draw a picture of your super hero self successfully accomplishing what you imagined. Write on your picture a positive affirmation describing the action such as, “I cure all sickness by flying from patient to patient and giving them my magic medicine!”

Experiment:

You are Powerful

Try these two experiments to “feel the power”. 1. Set up blocks or dominoes on end, close together in a long line. Imagine they are each a positive action. Knock over the first one and watch the effect of what you started. 2. Inflate a balloon, rub it against your hair, explore the invisible power of static by sticking it to a wall. You have given the balloon the power to do what it could not do before. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: You know better than to take my word for it! Six quotes on Aspiration from around the world have been cut in half. There are several difficulty levels to choose from as you match them back up. If you make it to Level 3 let us know! The answers are on the Instant Replay page.

Matches on the 3nd Level

Puzzle/Game:

Print out the following page on card weight paper, or print then glue to thicker paper. Cut into twelve cards along the lines. Reunite the two halves of the quotes. Level 1: Lay all cards out face up, and match them as a group effort. Level 2: Turn all cards face down and take turns turning over two at a time looking for a match. Play until all sets are matched. Level 3: Extend the game by adding cards from the two other sections with quote matchups (Generosity and Responsibility). Level 4: Find or write quotes about Aspiration or other guidelines to make your own cards. Level 5: Study the quotes and quiz each other by holding up the first halves and seeing who can remember the second halves.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Matches on the 3nd Level -- Gamecards

G14 – 1

Empowering goals are magnetic. They attract energies in your life that contribute to their fulfillment...

G14 – 4

When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them,...

G14 – A

...we want to see in the world. – Mahatma Gandhi, India

G14 – D

... do it so well that no one could find fault with it. – John Henry Newman, UK 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

G14 – 2

Nothing would be done at all if one waited until one could ...

G14 – 5

Failure is not falling down;...

G14 – B

...but you won't come up with a handful of mud either. -- Leo Burnett, USA

G14 – E

...it is not getting up again. -- Mary Pickford, Canada

Ready Set Happy

G14 – 3

We are the generation...

G14 – 6

We must be the change...

G14 – C

...we have been waiting for. -- Craig Kielburger, Canada

G14 – F

...and repel things that might distract you. -- Master Jou Tsung Hwa, Dao of Taijiquan

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Ballet slippers?

Try it now: Remember, this is not a Test! What inspires you to get better at something or to accomplish more? When you see beautiful art or nature, when you hear wise words or when you see what others can accomplish in their lives you may have a flash of inspiration. Keep that flame alive, make a difference for yourself and others by acting on your inspiration and inspiring others. This moment is your chance, your own real life. It is not a practice run!

You know you can affect other people. Just try yawning in a crowded room! If you could inspire others to be happier, would you want to do it? How would you quickly describe to your friends or your Grandma what the 16 guidelines are? You may help others to achieve happiness if you find a way to help them (and you) remember the list of the guidelines.

16 GUIDELINES for Life Humility Patience Contentment Delight Kindness Honesty Generosity thoughtful Speech Respect Forgiveness Gratitude Responsibility Principles Aspiration Service Courage 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

Word Play:

Sentences to Remember

Make a sentence or two where every word starts with the same letter as a guideline. First letters for guidelines 1-16 are HPCD KHGS RFGR PASC. Example: “Her Practical, Caring Doctor Kevin Has Given Sarah Really Fresh Grapes. Raisins Probably Also Save Children.” Or, “Hopping Purple Cars During Kangaroo Holidays Gave Some Red Frogs Green Rashes, Particularly After Sunset Came.” Crazy sentences are easier to remember. Practice decoding your own sentences back to the list of 16.

You could write a poem, chant, story or song to remember the guidelines. Read The Gift of King Harmen fable to meet the characters and remember their order. It can be found here and here.

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When I want to say the guidelines from memory I end up using the names of the character guides. I chant,

Reach!

Hutri, Peglo, Cona, Deba. Kaipo, Hodi, Genca, Spibu. Resco, Fola, Graca, Riche. Prindi, Asta, Serzo, Cofi. May you be inspired to create something of your own you can remember and share with others.

Picture Play:

Show me the Memory!

Create a drawing, photograph, painting, cartoon or poster to remember the guidelines. You could draw a simple cartoon story of 16 frames where one guide shows up in each frame. Circles in the Sand, an example of this kind of story, is given on the next page. You could make your story into a cartoon (or a sand story as we have done). You may think of another creative way to remember the guidelines. We'd love to see all your creations!

Try it for real: Tell Me a Story Learn the story on the next page and tell it to someone while drawing the figures in wet sand or dirt or on paper. Begin drawing the icons for each guideline near the top of the circle (with the leaf for Hutri Humility) and go clockwise until you arrive back at the top. May your audience be inspired!

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Circles in the Sand a 16 symbol sand story to be drawn as it is told. In front of a white house, as if wanting to learn, a leaf at the tree top

Humility Patience Contentment Delight

falls, floats through a school window and lands in a classroom on a globe waiting on the teacher's desk, surrounded by enough green apples for the celebration of a birthday. A smiling child holding two balloons takes an apple , walks to the window, and lets one balloon go outside. The balloon floats up hitting a diamond-shaped kite sparkling in the sun,

Kindness Honesty Generosity Thoughtful Speech

causing coins to fall from the kite to the ground where they land in a basket already filled with food for the poor. The basket, on the stage where the Mayor is giving a speech, also holds gifts for the people of the town, and bubbles for the children. When the Mayor finishes reading aloud from an ancient scroll

Respect Forgiveness Gratitude Responsibility

the crowd cheers, frightening a young child who begins to cry. As her tears are drying, the Mayor hands her a gingerbread house with money inside for her family in the form of a check. When she is older she will be able to have a good education. The child is sleepy and points in the direction of home.

Principles Aspiration Service Courage

The family walks through the twilight with stars shooting overhead and clover serving as a carpet of heart-shaped leaves below. Safely home the child picks a lone dandelion and blows the puffball seeds. The breeze lifts them to the tree top as leaves continue to fall.

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Try it for real: 100 days or less

What one thing would you like to achieve or improve on? Start with a general goal and then make it specific. 'Getting healthier' or 'getting better at basketball' could become a specific goal like 'doing 50 pushups in a row' or 'shooting 60% freethrows'. “Play guitar well' might be accomplished by 'practice 20 minutes each day.' Maybe you want to be less angry or to keep your room clean or to make three new friends. Your goal could be any positive thing about yourself you can imagine. Once you have determined your goal, try this group project.

Group Project:

Visualize It, Achieve It!

Set your goal. Ask two friends to choose their goals so you can support each other. Plan to work toward this improvement together for 100 days, checking in by phone, email or in person at least every three days. If 100 days seems too long, agree on something smaller like 50 days or 20 days. You may achieve something you thought impossible!

This really works. At the Magic Tortoise Taijiquan School people achieve goals each year using the 100 day program and Master Jou, Tsung Hwa's four essentials for improvement (shown below). Do you think it is possible to touch your chin to your toe without bending your leg? Using these suggestions I did it in less than 100 days! Another year my music students and I achieved our goal of recording our own CD. I don't use the word “impossible” in quite the same way anymore. May you achieve and inspire more than you thought possible! Know Yourself Yao you zi zhi Do Your Best Jin li er wei Don’t Overdo It Guo you bu ji Make a Little Progress Every Day Ri jin cun gong Calligraphy by Almanzo Lamoureux

Photo by Tim Toombs 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: Listen to your Inner Voice...and take Notes “All of this will not be finished in the first one hundred days, nor will it be finished in the first one thousand days, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet; but let us begin.” -- John F. Kennedy, Jr., USA At 12 years old Craig Kielburger of Canada was inspired to begin to help exploited children around the world. Now his organization Free the Children, funded and staffed by children and youth, has built over 450 schools and inspired more than a million young people to get involved. You have the unique ability to help someone see their purpose, to move them to action that would be helpful, even amazing. That person is yourself! What is your passion, something you feel strongly about? What are your strengths? If you listen to your inner voice you can turn these into action to help humanity evolve. . Notice:

Note to Self

What do you want to set in motion? This week listen to your inner voice. Make a note whenever you have a little flash of inspiration that there is some important work to begin or whenever you notice one of your own strengths. At the end of the week, talk with an adult about how you might take a first step to translate this potential into action.

Hutri learns, Peglo waits calmly, Cona appreciates, Deba enjoys. Kaipo cares, Hodi trades fairly, Genca shares, Spibu speaks carefully. “Find your gift. Find your passion. Put them together and you will change the world.” -- Craig Kielburger, Canada

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

Ready Set Happy

Resco respects, Fola forgives, Graca thanks, Riche steps up. Prindi finds direction, Asta strives, Serzo serves, Cofi braves.

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Instant Replay for Aspiration:

What sights or events of the natural world inspire you?

What is your gift? What is your passion?

Which was your favorite Aspiration quote?

Where does the leaf land in “Circles in the Sand”? Are you willing to begin important work that may take more than a lifetime to finish?

Can you list the 16 Guidelines from memory? Which method do you use?

Answers to quote matching: 1F 2D 3C 4B 5E 6A

What does Asta say? “I ___ to be A ____ me.”

Did you teach the guidelines to anyone else? How? Were they inspired?

I wonder if you think the photo of a piano student was a good choice for 'Aspiration'.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Guideline 15 : Service

► Humility

► Respect

► Patience

► Forgiveness

► Contentment

► Gratitude

► Delight

► Responsibility

► Kindness

► Principles

► Honesty

► Aspiration

► Generosity

► Service

► Thoughtful Speech

► Courage

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Character Guide: Serzo Service

Serzo serves others, volunteering his time and creative energy.

eans...

m Service

y gi vi ng Hap pi l p eopl e, o t e m i our t s and project to causes hers. hel p ot

The guides' positive chants help you to remember the most important ideas. Say these over and over to remember them.

Giving time from my day can help in some way.

“You know if you are having a bad day, it's good to think that maybe your good day has gone off to help someone else.” -- Caeman Toombs, 10 yrs, USA 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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The Third Bowl “Once there was a woman who lived a long life making pottery for our village. She made the cups with which we toasted 'good health' to each other, the plates on which we ate together to celebrate or grieve, and the bowls in which we shared our food with the holy ones who helped nourish our souls. One day she realized her body was in its last days of service to her and she decided to make three more bowls. She made them beautiful, identical, and with love. Three friends came to her side as she rested her final day in this world, already past the point of speaking. The bowls were next to her with a note: 'Please take one of these with you.' The symbols on the bowls meant, 'May this work continue to be of service after I am gone'. Now the story becomes three stories because each bowl served in a different way. The friend who took the first bowl thought it was too pretty to use and set it high on a shelf with many other lovely things. It was seldom noticed and years later was broken as someone tried to clean the dust from it, ending its story. The second visitor to the potter was a teacher who brought the bowl to school. The children enjoyed it, drew it, were inspired to make bowls like it -- a few even became potters. Their images and bowls served many people. This second bowl served its purpose and started many stories before it was broken. I was the third visitor and a young man with no idea of what might be a good purpose for the third bowl. I had no fancy shelf, no students, and no need for a bowl myself. A bowl can be used in many ways, so I asked friends and neighbors to write what they needed on slips of paper and put them in the bowl. To my surprise, some of the notes were offers of other things people had to give. At first, I matched up needs with offers one by one. In time the bowl overflowed; people learned how to ask for the help they needed and how to give when they had more than enough. We began to meet once in a while to help each other however we could. This attitude has became a part of daily life, and now the bowl and the meetings are no longer needed. As I myself have now lived a long life it is time to send the bowl on its way. I decided to give the bowl to my next visitor to take it home and find its new purpose. The first bowl was never much more than a vision; the second achieved everything a bowl can be; the third has changed us all. Thank you for your visit. It is you who will decide what happens now in the story of the third bowl.” * * *

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Service Activities Try it now: The Art of Service “An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.” Martin Luther King Jr., USA Art Project:

Tribute

Read The Third Bowl story on the previous page. Imagine you were in the art class in the story and draw the potter's bowl as a tribute to her life of service. If you can find some clay make a bowl you plan to give away. Think about who you will give it to and what type of bowl would serve them. Consider telling them the story as you give the bowl to them.

You have received gifts of health, abilities, and time here as a human which you can use to serve others. Will your gifts be used or waste away collecting dust? Remember that service is not an exact science -- you do not have to be perfect to start. Even as a young person, you can be of service if you begin with clear motivation and keep your goal in mind to help others. This also works in language. You can read a word, even if most of the letters are incorrect, if you have the first and last letter in place. You can move ahead even if all the details are not right.

Word Play:

Decoding Einstein

Each word in this paragraph has the correct first and last letter, but the other letters are scrambled. Can you decode this message from 1950 from Albert Einstein? "A hmaun bnieg is prat of the wlohe, caelld by us 'Unrevise,' a prat litimed in tmie and sacpe. He epxencires hlesmif, his tguthohs and fginlees as sthinmoeg satepared form the rset a knid of oticapl deliosun of his cciousonsness. Tihs deliosun is a knid of psiorn for us, resitrictng us to our psonearl dseiers and to affcetion for a few pnoress nseaert to us. Our tsak msut be to fere oveelurss form tihs psiorn by windeing our clirce of cpassomion to erabmce all linivg catreures and the wolhe nratue in its btauey. Ndooby is albe to avechie tihs ctemeoplly, but the stinvrig for scuh aevemechint is in iletsf a prat of the lbeartioin, and a fdoontauin for iennr serucity."

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: What a special grain of sand! You may think “What can I do? Just one person?” An individual can make a big difference, and it has been pointed out that “you have a unique and precious opportunity for positive impact.” That last snowflake starts the avalanche, the last sand grain starts a landslide. Experiment:

Shifting Sand

Find a bucket of sand, a small bowl, and a place to make a pile of sand. Scoop a little sand with the bowl. Pour slowly and carefully onto a single spot on the ground. Keep pouring and refilling, watching the sides of the sand hill. At some point, one grain will cause a major shift. Could you be like that grain for a useful shift in your family, school or community?

Future avalanche?

Try it now: I'd give my life to... Why do some people live lives of service? Often it begins with an attitude, a wish to help others, but results in great satisfaction. It feels good. It fills a hole. Complaining increases your sense of powerlessness. Doing something useful, being part of the solution, feels good. Puzzle:

Full service from bank to blank

Use the Word Bank below to fill in the blanks. Answers are on the Instant Replay page. 1 The sun does not _____ for a few trees and flowers, but for the ____ world's joy. -- Henry Ward Beecher, USA 2 Life's persistent and most urgent ________ is “What are you doing for______?” -- Martin Luther King, Jr., USA 3 Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ____ you can, in ___ the places you can, at all the _____ you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can. -- John Wesley, UK 4 Those who _____ sunshine to the lives of others cannot ____ it from themselves. -- Sir James Barrie, Scotland, author of Peter Pan. 5 Are you in earnest? Seize this very ______. Whatever you can do or _____ you can do --begin it. --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Germany 6 It is better to light a ______ than to curse the _______-- traditional Chinese proverb 7 This is the true joy of ____, the being used up for a _______ recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish, little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you _____. -- George Bernard Shaw, Ireland Word Bank:

times think life happy purpose minute darkness

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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shine others bring question all ways wide keep candle

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Try it for real: Spending Precious Time Whatever you do to fill your day today, you will trade a day of your life for it! Make it a good trade. You may have a lot of choice or very little about where you are in a day, but you have a lot of control over how you do what you do. Try this activity to take a picture of how you are spending your time.

Notice/Record:

Sand through the hourglass

Record how you spend your time for a day or a week. Write down the main types of activities that occupy your time. Look at your record to see how much time you spend on school, on helping your family, on bathing and eating, on playtime, etc. Are you happy with what you see? Would you miss a few hours of watching TV, playing games, or whatever you do with your spare time? See if you have some time you could do some volunteer work to help others. 12

3

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Volunteer:

At your Service

Try volunteering for a few hours to see if it is more satisfying than your other optional activities. For instance you could help an elderly person with their garden or a cooking project or wash their car. If you know someone who has trouble seeing you could read to them. Perhaps you could go with your family to help at the library, local food bank, or to clean or plant flowers at your school. Ask your teacher what you could do to help at school. Ask your parents what you could do to help in your neighborhood.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: A Storm of Helping Hearts To be healthy and strong enough to help is a great gift. “Do service when you can so that when you can't other people can do a service for you.” -- Caeman Toombs, USA Group Project: What service! Plan, Do, Rejoice! Cut out a number of heart shapes from a variety of colors of paper. With friends or classmates, brainstorm ideas for service that young people can do in your community. On each heart write one of these ideas. Put all the hearts up on a wall or bulletin board. When someone does each activity or if you see or hear of someone else doing it turn the heart over and draw a big smile on it. If you hear of other acts of service, add new hearts to the wall. Think - how wonderful it is that people offer service.

Treasure Hunt:

Dryer lint/sheet hearts, click photo for instructions.

Service, Service, Read all about it!

Read a local newspaper or the news online to find an article about someone who was recognized for an act of service. Discuss with someone what made the act an act of service. Who benefited from this effort? Add the article to your heart wall above.

Volunteers help to get a new building ready for their community and learn a lot in the process.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

High school students volunteer to play for the birthday party of an 80-yr-old woman displaced by a hurricane.

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Try it for real: Giving Back Imagine:

Breathing out Peace

If something bad happens this week -- you have a bad day or a headache or a flat bicycle tire -- imagine at that moment that because this happened to you it will not happen to others. Imagine you have chosen to take the discomfort of this from everyone else who is also having that experience. Breathe deeply and slowly as you think, “I'm breathing in their discomfort, destroying it, and breathing out peace.” Notice if it makes you feel better. Read the poem on the next page. Throughout a day, how many people provide you personally with some sort of service? Do your parents or caregivers work to maintain your home by making money? Do they go shopping, cook, serve, and clean? Do your friends help you with your homework or tell you the latest news? Does someone you don't even know spontaneously watch out for you as you cross the street or help in emergencies? How wonderful if you have examples of service. Is this service provided with a light, cheerful attitude or a heavy sense of duty or obligation? Does the attitude matter?

Notice/Act:

Service with a Smile

Pick a day to notice and count every person who does something that serves you personally. Notice their attitude while serving and how that makes you feel. On a different day just notice what you do to give back or to help out and provide service to others. Are you cheerful while helping? Is it easier to serve friends than enemies or people you have not put into either group? In your typical day, do you spend more time serving others or expecting them to serve you? On a third day look for opportunities to be of service to everyone. No matter how old you are you can always help by being a good listener, being patient and kind. You can clean up after yourself, tell people you appreciate what they do for you, and pay attention to who in your group might need a little extra help with something. Smile as you help out wherever you can. That's a good start. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Where does my good day go? At noon I lost a thing I dearly love: my “good day” used to fit me like a glove. I got so used to seeing it each day I missed it when it simply went away. It made me wonder, so I asked to know, “When it leaves me, where does my good day go?” Did it have someone else to serve but me? Like saving kittens stuck high in a tree? Did it read to the children at my school? Or rake the leaves to help old Mrs. Jewel? Did it coach basketball at Father's gym or help the food bank put the new shelves in? The answer came to me as I got home. A man from Mother's work called on the phone. He'd been so sick but now he called to say at noon his sickness simply went away. A thought came to my mind right then and there: my good day must have felt the need to share. It seems my good day took a break from me to spend some time with this man's family. It volunteered to make his children smile who hadn't done so in the longest while. So next time I won't worry since I know the kind of place a good day just might go. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Instant Replay for Service:

Which was your favorite quote about Service?

How do you give back to your community?

Did you learn new ways to serve your school or neighbors? What were they?

I wonder if you think the photo of children hammering was a good choice for 'Service'.

Do you spend more time serving others or being served?

What questions do you have about Service?

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

Ready Set Happy

Why is your attitude important while giving service?

What positive landslides do you want to start?

What would you do with the 'third bowl'?

Word Bank answers: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

shine wide question others ways all times bring keep minute think candle darkness life purpose happy

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Guideline 16 : Courage

► Humility

► Respect

► Patience

► Forgiveness

► Contentment

► Gratitude

► Delight

► Responsibility

► Kindness

► Principles

► Honesty

► Aspiration

► Generosity

► Service

► Thoughtful Speech

► Courage

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Character Guide: Cofi Courage

Cofi braves difficulties and challenges to do the right thing.

...

e means Courag

y b raver e h t g Havi n thi ng e ri ght h t o d to en i t is h w n e v e . r scary o t l u c i di ff

The guides' positive chants help you to remember the most important ideas. Say these over and over to remember them.

Let's think big, be brave, now begin!

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.' ” -- Mary Ann Radmacher, writer/artist, USA

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Keep going

Begin! Get all the best ideas from everywhere you can. Decide on what's important and make your action plan. Be a force of nature, move minds and mountains too. Be the change you want to see and let your light shine through. An ocean starts with just one drop, an avalanche one snowflake. The journey of a thousand miles starts with the step that YOU take. This is a beginning. It will not be the end if you will keep on chanting:

Think big, be brave, begin. Think Big, be Brave, Begin. Think BIG be BRAVE, BEGIN! THINK BIG, BE BRAVE, BEGIN!! Start

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Courage Activities Try it now: The 'Write' kind of courage How does it feel to have courage compared to not having it? You may use one type of courage to deal calmly with the challenges that come when you get hurt or sick or lose a loved one or find yourself in a dangerous situation. It takes another type of courage to admit when you have made a mistake or accidentally broken something or to apologize if you have said something you regret. It takes yet another kind of courage to voluntarily take on a challenging task or to try something new or unfamiliar. This is true for everyday tasks as well as big tasks like helping to reverse deforestation or end child labor. Craig Kielburger was 12 when he started to fight for the rights of children. His youth driven organization ‘Free the Children’ helps many young people worldwide who are in poverty, exploited or powerless. Explore how it feels to try something new in this experiment.

Experiment/Notice:

The Challenge to Get it 'Write'

Write your name. Now try writing it with your other hand. Try writing it with eyes closed. Try writing it with your foot! How do you feel as you try this new activity? Does it make you nervous? Do you worry what other people think? What kind of self-talk is going in in your own head? Now sit calmly and take three slow, deep breaths to help your body calm down and focus. You may be able to concentrate better now. Give it another try. What do you notice?

As you choose to take on new challenges you can accomplish more with a relaxed mind. Give that little voice that is always judging, praising or criticizing a well-deserved rest. When you are doing challenging, important work you might feel less relaxed, but that is a good time for you to keep a light attitude, have fun and be cheerful. Being purposeful and positive will not only help you, it will also help those around you to be calm and accomplish more. Strive to keep smiling, be kind, and not take yourself too seriously, whatever you are doing. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: Brave or irresponsible? Sometimes courage is confused with risky action. It is not courageous to put yourself or others at risk for no reason. That is irresponsible. There are plenty of meaningful challenges without jumping into pointless ones.

Some purposeful challenges involve risks. The life of Wangari Maathai has included many dangers as she has grown from a barefoot girl walking to school to be the first woman in her region of Africa with a doctorate degree.

Along the way Professor Maathai faced economic hardship, threats, imprisonment, public criticism for her activist efforts, and was divorced by her husband.

Photo by Lindsay Stark

(Uganda)

In the 1970's Professor Maathai began the Greenbelt Movement which has now planted 30 million trees to reverse the deforestation that ruined her family's land and livelihood. In 2004 she was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. She says that when she is focused on improving a situation she doesn't see the dangers or let her mind focus on the fear. “If you understand and you are disturbed, then you are moved to action. That's exactly what happened to me.” -- Professor Wangari Maathai, Kenya 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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When my daughter was small she came up with the idea that positive challenges are like stretching a rubber band. You want to stretch yourself, to grow, to learn, to do, but to keep aware if you are reaching a point of damage where you might lose your flexibility for future challenges.

Experiment/Draw:

Stretch

Le a

rn

G ro w

Tr y

Se rv e

You will need a rubber band, a pencil and a big piece of paper. It will be easier to do the second part if you have a partner. Trace around the rubber band. Predict how far you will be able to stretch the rubber band without danger of breaking it. Now stretch it a little and trace it again. Can you stretch it to twice it's original length? Three times? Try NOT to break the rubber band. Stop before it's too Late. Draw the biggest stretch you are comfortable with. That may be different from someone else's level, and that's okay. It is not a contest. What is your capacity to take on new challenges before you get stretched too thin? Could your rubber band stretch a little more? Can you?

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it now: Learning to trust, to live and let live You can practice having courage by taking small risks in safe ways, like playing “Catch me.” Game:

Catch me

Ask three people you trust to stand in a tight circle around you. Close your eyes and slowly start to fall backwards from standing, keeping your body stiff and straight. The three people stop you from falling further by putting their palms against your back. Take it in turns to be caught. This trust will help you get stronger by showing that you can overcome fears. It is an example of how to ask for help as well as how to support others when they are having a challenging time. Don't let them down!

”Life is mostly froth and bubble Two things stand like stone kindness in another's trouble and courage in your own.” -- Adam Lindsay Gordon, poet, Australia

Promise:

Don't bug me

Are you afraid of spiders or insects? They are so small and you are so big. They have much more reason to be frightened of you. Are you in the habit of not liking them or are they a real danger? Make a promise for a day not to kill anything, not even bugs. No fly swatting, no ant squashing. Could you watch where you step so you don't accidentally crush someone underfoot? Talk with adults you trust about what might be a danger where you live, and learn how to take creatures who should not be inside to the outside safely.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: Dare to shed the 'should'.

Which takes more courage -- to accept a challenge to do something you know is wrong or dangerous, or to refuse to do it? Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to do the right thing. Even when you know which choice would be better, you may want to avoid that choice just because you “should” do it. Sometimes “should” makes it feel like you are giving up your power.

To make a shift in how you think try changing the words you use from “I should do that” to “It would be a better choice if I did that.” Replace your judgmental “should” with a more empowering phrase so it is easier to make the choice that is right for you.

Notice/Reframe:

Replace to keep your power

This week notice when you say or think the word “should”. Replace it with “It would be better if...” as you speak to others, in your self-talk and as you make choices. Notice if it helps you to be more courageous when you feel you are coming from this place of strength, so that you can say 'no' when that would be the better choice for you.

SHOULD BHOULD BEOULD BETULD BETTLD BETTED

BETTER 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: Fail faster and achieve great success!

Do you not do things you would like to try because you are afraid you might not be good at them? Most things are not so important that it matters that you do them perfectly, especially as you are learning. You fell down as you learned to walk or ride a bicycle, and probably don't worry or think about that anymore. Everyone, from scientists to musicians, makes lots of mistakes while learning something new. This is normal. If you only try things you are good at you will rob yourself of many things that are worthwhile to do even if you never get “good at them”. The important questions about how you spent your time will be: Did you have fun? Did you learn something? Did you help someone? As you decide what to try, instead of asking “Will I be good at that?” ask “What's the potential for fun, learning, and helping?” You can read more about this on the website for the Greater Good Science Center. Sometimes it helps to ask, “What's the worst that could happen?” Some of the things we worry about are not that important, or won't last because things are always changing. Decide if the challenge is worth the risk considering the potential for growth or benefit. Observe:

Fear of Failure

Watch yourself this week. What challenges come your way? Do you back away from them or embrace them? Are you afraid to try new things or are you willing to make mistakes to learn? Notice how it feels if you back down or if you go for it.

“Genius? Nothing! Sticking to it is the genius! I've failed my way to success!” -- Thomas Edison, inventor, USA. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Try it for real: Living the Courageous Legacy of the 16 Guidelines Who do you know personally who has done something courageous? Who else have you heard about who has been brave? What have you done that took courage on your part? Photograph/Draw:

Caught you Being Good

Imagine there is a photo contest to show 'Courage' in action. See if you can catch someone 'doing good' this week, someone being brave and taking great responsibility or showing one of the other 16 guideline qualities you've been reading about. Use a camera (disposable ones are very cheap) to take their picture or draw them. Send us a copy of the picture or drawing you like the best. We'd love to see them!

COURAGE

You have been reading Ready Set Happy and thinking about these ideas so are becoming an expert with personal experience of the 16 guidelines. I wonder if, in your opinion, you think these issues apply in a meaningful way to your life today.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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“The minute we follow the Guidelines, our lives change.” -- 16 Guidelines for Life, the Basics

For real for real:

Live the Legacy

Imagine if you put these 16 Guidelines into practice in your life. What would it feel like to be living this wisdom? Would you be happier? Are you brave enough to move your reality closer to this vision? To evolve? Can you take all you have learned by playing with the 16 Guidelines and use it as part of your personal toolkit on your journey to build a happy life for yourself and others? Can you plan how to put this into practice? One part of your plan may be from now on to keep one of the guidelines in mind each week so you don't forget the most important ideas. At the beginning of each week review the Instant Replay for that guideline to see if you still remember the answers.

The Guidelines have the potential to bring peace not only to yourself but to your parents, family, society, country and eventually to the whole world.

What wonderful potential! A glass of water has the potential to cure your thirst, but you have to be the one to drink it. The Guidelines are like a delicious drink on a hot day, but what good comes of them is really up to YOU! Ready... Set... Happy! 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Instant Replay for Courage:

What have you done that took courage?

What is the difference between courage and risky action?

How can you be more calm while trying something new?

Does it take more courage to take a dare or to refuse one?

I wonder if you think the photo of a splinter being removed was a good choice for 'Courage'.

Is it only worthwhile doing those things that you are good at?

Are you able to replace 'should' with Did you 'it would be better' observe and to keep your power? draw or photograph someone being brave or courageous?

I wonder how you plan to use these 16 guidelines in your toolkit to build a happy life. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Appendix 1: A way to begin -- One family's experience with the 16 Guidelines This is the story of how our family of 5 has been using the 16 Guidelines during 2007, and it includes some suggestions of how you might like to approach this resource. I enjoyed exploring the16 Guidelines in depth in my roles as parent, music teacher, and teacher of Sunday classes for children. Ready Set Happy is one of the results. What I have learned while parenting three children with very different personalities, teaching music to students with varied learning styles and teaching classes for toddlers through to adults in secular and several different faith traditions, is that not everyone will (or should) use Ready Set Happy in the same way. How you approach it will depend on your personality and whether you are a child, a parent, a teacher, or other caring adult. Ready Set Happy has 16 sections, one for each guideline. Each section has ● ●

● ● ● ●

a page showing a photographic poster for that guideline; a page of graphics introducing the cartoon character guide which includes -- a definition of the guideline, -- a description of the character guide's main characteristics, -- a drawing of the character guide, and -- the character guide's Positive Chant (associated sound files are here); a page with a play, poem, song or chant which illustrates the guideline; three quick 'Try it now' activities which take about 30 minutes each; three longer 'Try it for real' activities to internalize the concepts over several days or a week; and an Instant Replay page with review questions.

Appendices 2 and 3 summarize all 16 guidelines in text, symbols, pictures, and song. If you are a child or young person: Good for you - using this on your own! I hope you have a great time and share it with others. I suggest you start with the guideline that interests you the most. The 'Try it now' activities will give you a quick taste of success. If you find those activities interesting, or you learn from them, then start the 'Try it for real' activities the following week. If these ideas make you happier, keep going! You could start with the Instant Replay at the end of each section, guessing what activities were used to get those questions. If you like one type of activity, for example the art projects, science experiments or poems, you could skim the chapters for those types of activities. There is no wrong way to go about it. 16 Guidelines for Life

www.16Guidelines.org

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If you are a parent or caregiver working with one child: Move at whatever speed suits you, the child, and the time you have together. If you plan to cover all the material, from one to three weeks per guideline is a good range to keep interest and let the ideas sink in. You may need to recruit friends or neighbors/classmates/siblings for some group activities.

Do you know your child's learning style? If they are auditory learners you can read to them or listen to the sound files. If they are visual, let them try the art activities first. You could find picture books with the same themes at your local library. If they are kinesthetic learners, try the science experiments. If they learn through writing things down, teach the sand story in Aspiration and let them copy the icons or write out the chants. You don't have to do every activity for each guideline. If they get it, move on. Ask them if they are learning about any of these 16 subjects at school and coordinate your schedule with what they are learning there. If you are a family using the guidelines at home: I recommend choosing one time during the week to do as many of the 'Try it now' activities as possible, and choosing one 'Try it for real' activity to concentrate on for the week. The following week you could choose another 'Try it for real' activity or move on to a new guideline. You may spend more time on some guidelines than others. Organizing to check-in in the morning and evening is a good way to keep that guideline in mind all day to make it a part of your life, and not just a theory. This would also be a good time to sing or say the Positive Chant for that guideline.

16 Guidelines for Life

www.16Guidelines.org

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If you are a teacher or other adult working with a group of children:

You may find the 'Try it now' activities best suited to a classroom environment. If you have the students every day, small groups of children could work with certain guidelines and teach them to the others! If you meet once a week allow several weeks to explore each guideline.

In our Sunday classes we take about three weeks per guideline. We use a guitar and the Positive Chants to get the important ideas ringing in the ears of the students throughout the week. You don't need to be a great guitar player or singer to do this. For all the Positive Chants play a C chord on beats 1 2 and 4 and a Csus4 (sounds fancy but it's just a C chord with a little finger added on the D string, string 4, at fret three) on beat 3. Or you can download the sound files (see Appendix 2) and play them for the children. But they'll like the guitar better, even if you're a beginner, so be brave.

Our family experience: You may get some insight into how you want to use the 16 Guidelines by reading our story, so I offer it in that spirit. My children were 10, 16, and 20 when I received two preliminary booklets prepared for adults attending international conferences on Happiness and Its Causes. These books provided several pages of text on each of the 16 Guidelines. My 10-yr-old son and I decided it might be useful to make a poster for each one of these guidelines as a starting point for Sunday classes, so we set out to learn about them.

Can a person learn to be happier?

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Each week my son and I spent about an hour on Sunday morning at home, reading aloud to each other, and discussing the few pages. We wrote down on a small note card anything we thought was important. On one half of the card I wrote my thoughts, on the other half he wrote his. I wrote down comments he made that I thought might be useful to other children - some of those quotes are included in Ready Set Happy. After our pleasant time discussing these big ideas, we put the note card up on the fridge for the week. Every morning, as he headed out to school or play, we reminded each other of the guideline for the week with the intention to observe that quality in ourselves or others during the day or perhaps try to exemplify it. At bedtime we checked in to see what we had each noticed. We did this check-in almost every morning and night for the week -- sometimes we forgot. On the following Sunday we started with the next guideline.

As we worked through one guideline per week, we began to get a sense of what photo might represent each guideline. My son and I discussed how to make this information attractive and memorable for children. We came up with gamecards using a cartoon character based on a simple memorable shape for each guideline, and he began designing a game based on these cards. The simple matching game is included in Ready Set Happy, and a more involved game design is still in progress. You can see this card bigger by clicking here.

At the same time we were involved with a one-Sunday-a-month program for families where a traditional story was told to the children. Our role was to write a short musical moral and sing it with the families right after the stories to help the children remember the main point. The adults seemed to enjoy this as much as the children, so we extended this story and song idea to the guidelines; we wrote a fable of our own to introduce the character guides we had drawn, and we wrote a chant with a tune for each of the guidelines. By the time we began weekly Sunday classes in September we had completed the cycle of 16 weeks on our own, had finished the posters, and had begun working with Essential Education on the Children's Kit. 16 Guidelines for Life

www.16Guidelines.org

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Family and friends have been a big part of our experience with the guidelines, lending their assistance to develop this component of the Children's Kit. My daughter helped with editing the fable and made suggestions for character development; my sister, my husband and friends from around the world contributed photos they had taken to enhance the activities; my younger son helped by reviewing text, and my older son helped by keeping us smiling (he's got Delight down, that one). Eventually Ready Set Happy found it's editor and its title, and the project expanded to the book you see now - truly a community effort on an international level. Reflection on the last year: It was a wonderful gift to get to work with these ideas in depth, and to build the vocabulary of these 16 qualities with my children. When we read comics in the newspaper or see movies, we discuss, 'Which one of the guidelines does this relate to? How?' and our understanding keeps growing. My children understand that these are the ideas I think are important and feel are worth our time and attention. I have precious memories of the time I spent on those Sunday mornings snuggled with my youngest on the couch, reading and talking about important ideas. Another highlight was the smiles on the faces of the community as I paused during singing Belly Blues for Contentment and the children in the group spontaneously finished the punchline, with the adults laughing out loud. What I am learning from the guidelines and work to practice in my own life is firmly nudging me down the path toward being a happier person. As we prepare to put Ready Set Happy online, my children are all in transition: one to middle school across town, one to college across the state, and the oldest to a summer in Africa halfway across the world. Each of them has different guidelines well in hand and others not realized. This work has provided a timely opportunity for me to help write a love letter, not only to these children but to all children of the world, and across the wisdom of the centuries. These are the important ideas I would communicate to any of them, to any grandchildren or great-grandchildren I am privileged to know and especially those I won't know.

16 Guidelines for Life

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Have any important ideas been left out? As a music teacher I thought of one possibility to add.... Harmony. Perhaps Harmony is not separate from the 16 qualities but is a result of the blending of the other guidelines. Harmony within and Harmony without. The social scientists tell us that a big part of our happiness is about meaningful interpersonal connections. So to what we (my son, my editor, other FDCW authors and I) have written about the guidelines I add a specific suggestion - turn off the television, put down the video games, step away from the computer sometimes and pick up a musical instrument and play with someone. That instrument could be your own voice or your own hands playing a clapping game like the one in the Principles section. Listening closely enough to play with each other, enhancing the sounds each are making, knowing your own part and learning to improvise, agreeing on a key -- all these are analogies for getting along harmoniously in this world and in the world within. May you all make beautiful music together.

There are qualities that we all know are positive, such as Kindness, Generosity, Patience, Respect, Service, Gratitude. These make us and those around us feel good. And there are qualities we know are negative, such as Greed, Hate, Arrogance, and Fear which make us unhappy and disturb those around us. By using the 16 Guidelines we can work together, all of us of any religion, any faith tradition as well as non-believers, in our efforts to move away from the negative qualities and move toward the positive ones.

May you find short term pleasure and more importantly long term happiness by working with these guidelines. This offering, this book, this bowl is empty until you fill it by trying these activities and putting these guidelines into practice in your life. If 16 are too many for you, I offer these four: Breathe, Appreciate, Help, Evolve. If 4 are too many, there is Kindness.

May this work be of benefit! Love, Denise Flora February 14, 2008

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16 Guidelines for Life -- A2: One Page Summaries

Contents: Definitions Positive Chants Song/Sound Links Meet the Character Guides Icon Wheel Guideline Icons Character Guide Knowledge Summary Poster Media Suggestions – where to see/read/hear more

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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A2: One Page Summaries

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16 Guidelines for Life -- Definitions Humility

Possessing a quiet strength which allows us to learn from everybody, keeps us from being too proud, and reminds us not to think or act as if we are better than other people.

Patience

Calmly taking our time. Controlling our reactions and keeping our peace of mind. Being tolerant, learning to wait until conditions are right for changes. Valuing diversity.

Contentment

Appreciating all we have instead of looking toward the next thing we want. Living with a quiet joy. Moderation. Balance. Not overdoing it.

Delight

Rejoicing in everyday fun, the simple beauty all around us, and celebrating bigger joys. Happiness for our own good experiences and joy in the good fortunes of others.

Kindness

Helping others to be happy by treating them well. The golden rule in all its forms.

Honesty

Telling the truth. Being fair and honorable in our dealings with people, money and possessions.

Generosity

Sharing what we have to benefit others. Being unselfish. Realizing our actions affect others.

Thoughtful Speech

Speaking skillfully and not talking too much. Thinking before we speak so we don’t harm with our words.

Respect

Valuing others, especially those with experience and knowledge, like elders and teachers. Realizing our dependence on the efforts of others. Being polite.

Forgiveness

Reclaiming peace of mind by letting go of anger toward someone who has done something that feels hurtful or disturbing.

Gratitude

Feeling appreciation and showing thankfulness for what others (especially parents) have done for us.

Responsibility Being a person who can be counted upon. Dependability. Reliability. Steadfastness. Principles

Choosing to use guidelines or rules to help make the tough decisions in life.

Aspiration

Striving to become better than we are. Being inspired to improve, to evolve, to become.

Service

Happily giving our time to people, projects and causes to help others.

Courage

Having the bravery to do the right thing even when it is difficult or scary.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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16 Guidelines for Life -- Positive Chants Hutri Humility

Each of you gives me a lesson.

Peglo Patience

I'm like water, patient, still, searching for the path downhill.

Cona Contentment

I have what I need, if I don't feed my greed.

Deba Delight

No need to wait let's celebrate. My joy times two, when I'm happy for YOU!

Kaipo Kindness

Care for others. Keep trying.

Hodi Honesty

Honesty works best for me.

Genca Generosity

I can share my stuff. I have enough.

Spibu ThoughtfulSpeech

When I'm wise I think more, speak less.

Resco Respect

Let's honor each who guide, or teach.

Fola Forgiveness

I forgive then I feel better.

Graca Gratitude

Thanks to those who wiped my nose.

Riche Responsibility

Through thick or thin, count me in.

Prindi Principles

I know my way. I walk my path.

Asta Aspiration

I strive to be a better me.

Serzo Service

Giving time from my day can help in some way.

Cofi Courage

Let's think big, be brave, now begin!

Emphasize black syllables as in the recording noted on the following page. 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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16 Guidelines for Life -- Song/Sound Links Audio recordings can be found by clicking here. This will take you to a page on the 16 Guidelines website where the latest recordings can be found: http://www.16guidelines.org/wiki/index.php/Ready_Set_Happy At the time of publication of this Appendix 2, you can access preliminary recordings of these songs/chants: '16 Positive Chants' song for melodies for all 16 chants -- from Principles 'Belly Blues' song -- from Contentment 'Combo Rap Track' including... 'Giggle Rap' rap -- from Delight 'Pocket Change Chant' chant -- from Honesty 'Response Ability' chant -- from Responsibility 'It's in my Hands' handgame -- from Principles

More Recordings Coming Soon: New versions of the songs above, including individual files for each of the 16 positive chants and each of the four rap/chants, and... 'Point of View' and 'Patience Puzzle' 'Ripples' 'Blue Marble Memory' 'If I were a Slug' 'Positive Principle rePrise' 'Circles in the Sand' 'The Third Bowl' 'Where Does my Good Day Go?' 'Begin!'

poems poem poem poem poem story fable poem poem

from Patience from Generosity from Forgiveness from Gratitude from Principles from Principles from Service from Service from Courage

'The Gift of King Harmen'

fable

All Guidelines

*** 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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How we Think

16 Guidelines for Life -- Meet the Character Guides

Peglo Patience

Cona Contentment

Deba Delight

Kaipo Kindness

Hodi Honesty

Genca Generosity

Spibu Thoughtful-Speech

Resco Respect

Fola Forgiveness

Graca Gratitude

Riche Responsibility

Prindi Principles

Asta Aspiration

Serzo Service

Cofi Courage

How we find Meaning

How we Relate

How we Act

Hutri Humility

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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16 Guidelines for Life -- Icon Wheel

Part I:

Part IV: How we find Meaning in Life steadies us in a changing world. 13 14 15 16

Principles Aspiration Service Courage

1 2 3 4

Part III:

Humility Patience Contentment Delight

Part II:

How we Relate to Others connects us to our community. 9 10 11 12

How we Think determines how we feel inside ourselves.

How we Act impacts on ourselves and others. 5 6 7 8

Respect Forgiveness Gratitude Responsibility

Kindness Honesty Generosity Thoughtful Speech

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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16 Guidelines for Life -- Guideline Icons

Humility Patience Contentment Delight Kindness Honesty Generosity Thoughtful Speech Respect Forgiveness Gratitude Responsibility Principles Aspiration Service Courage 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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16 Guidelines for Life -- Character Guide Knowledge How we Think – determines how we feel inside ourselves. Humility

Hutri learns from all and knows that each leaf is important to help the tree.

Patience

Peglo waits calmly, trusting changes take time. He values each life and the planet.

Contentment

Cona appreciates what she has already, so she doesn't need to grab for more.

Delight

Deba enjoys herself and celebrates the joy in others' lives.

How we Act – impacts on ourselves and others. Kindness

Kaipo cares about others and acts in a considerate, helpful way.

Honesty

Hodi trades fairly and tells the truth.

Generosity

Genca shares what she has, giving with a smile.

Thoughtful Speech

Spibu speaks carefully, using his few words to help, not harm.

How we Relate to others – connects us to our community. Respect

Resco respects teachers and the elderly and and honors the wisdom in everyone by being polite.

Forgiveness

Fola forgives, releasing anger and hurt, and reclaiming peace.

Gratitude

Graca thanks and appreciates her parents, and others who help her.

Responsibility

Riche steps up to do what needs to be done -- others can count on him.

How we find Meaning in Life – steadies us in a changing world. Principles

Prindi finds direction and guidance from rules he chooses to help him set his course.

Aspiration

Asta strives to improve every day, inspired by nature, the arts, and the lives of others.

Service

Serzo serves others, volunteering his time and creative energy.

Courage

Cofi braves difficulties and challenges to do the right thing.

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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16 Guidelines for Life -- Summary Poster

16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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16 Guidelines for Life -- Media Suggestions A wealth of materials exist to supplement learning about each of the guidelines. Here are some suggestions for a few places to start looking. Let us know of others! Adults, please preview materials first (especially movies) for age appropriateness.

Books/Stories Children's novel illustrating one guideline per chapter, from www.essential-education.org Book for adults 16 Guidelines for a Happy Life UpClose from www.essential-education.org Ask if books at your library are organized by character trait. Look at picture books for authors such as these: de Paola, Rafe Martin, McDermott (Anansi stories), Polacco, San Souci, Yolen Check out these series: Life's Little Instruction Books, Chicken Soup for the (little) Soul books. See Aesops fables in the library or online here -- http://aesopfables.com/aesopsel.html Read these stories online which are searchable by several traits: http://www.learningtogive.org/materials/folktales/trait.asp

Comics Read the comics in the newspaper. See which ones relate to a guideline. A fun activity to do with teens.

Online Videos Check out those collected at karma-tube.org such as this one related to Humility: Powers of 10 http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=198 Search for guideline names for more.

Music Videos Check out those collected at karma-tube.org such as the Sarah Mclachlan 'World on Fire' video which cost $15 to produce and the rest of the budget was donated to charity. http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=25 In particular, watch these two about Kindness: 'What about me?' http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=118 'If Everyone Cared' from Nickleback http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=38 Search for guideline names for more.

Movies Ask at your video store or search online for the themes of the guidelines. See the movies suggested by Random Acts of Kindness Foundation here: http://www.actsofkindness.org/people/whats_new/news_detail.asp?id=193

Old Television Series on DVD Kung Fu – watch this with your children to show timeless themes in changing times.

More Activities other Children's Kit components from www.essential-education.org Maitreya School Curriculum Awareness Activities from www.essential-education.org 16 Guidelines Wiki at www.16guidelines.org 16 Guidelines for Life www.16Guidelines.org

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Meet the Character Guides -- Group I

How We Think...

Guidelines 1

2

Hutri Humility

Peglo Patience

Each of you gives me a lesson.

I'm like water, patient, still, searching for the path downhill.

Cona Contentment

Deba Delight

3

4

Cona

I have what I need,

No need to wait, let's celebrate!

if I don't feed my greed.

My joy times two, when I'm happy for YOU.

Contentmentow we feel inside ourselves

...determines how we feel inside ourselves. 16 Guidelines for Life

www.16Guidelines.org

Emphasize bold syllables when chanting

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Meet the Character Guides -- Group II

How We Act...

Guidelines

5

6

Kaipo Kindness

Hodi Honesty

Care for others. Keep trying.

Honesty works best for me.

Genca Generosity

Spibu Thoughtful-Speech

I can share my stuff.

When I'm wise I think more, speak less.

7

8

Cona

I have enough.

Contentmentow we feel inside ourselves

...impacts on ourselves and others. 16 Guidelines for Life

www.16Guidelines.org

Emphasize bold syllables when chanting

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A3:Coloring Sheets/Gamecards

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Meet the Character Guides -- Group III

How We Relate to others...

9

10

Resco Respect

Fola Forgiveness

Let's honor each

I forgive then I feel better.

11

12

Cona

who guide or teach.

Graca Gratitude

Riche Responsibility

Thanks to those who wiped my nose.

Through thick or thin,

count me in.

Contentmentow we feel inside ourselves

...connects us to our community. 16 Guidelines for Life

www.16Guidelines.org

Emphasize bold syllables when chanting

Ready Set Happy

A3:Coloring Sheets/Gamecards

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Meet the Character Guides -- Group IV

How We Find Meaning in Life... Prindi Principles

13

14

15

16

Asta Aspiration

Cona I know my way. I walk my path.

I strive to be a better me.

Serzo Service

Cofi Courage

Giving time from my day

Let's think big, be brave, now begin!

can help in some way.

Contentmentow we feel inside ourselves

...steadies us in a changing world. 16 Guidelines for Life

www.16Guidelines.org

Emphasize bold syllables when chanting

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