Green River 2005 499f

And so it begins…

Th e p atient J on Blake

Th e Gra nd Po obah offers his sa ge advic e…

 Don’t think of it as a job…  It’s really more of an opportunity….  Some even consider it as a life changing experience..  A watershed moment if you will…

Keeper of t he Kr apper . It’s not a job it’s an adventure.

Most imp ort antly yo u can buy yo ur w ay out.

We d on’t half st ep Ch amp agne..

Th is is t he b est bus rid e e ve r… I g ot th e hig h c hair.

Oh hhh d id I spill ? Um m Mo rree win nne pleasse e…

 First Spill of the day.  What the heck..  We’ll move up the drunken debauchery too….

Did yo u se e that?

She only had five d ri nks, and they were all doub les !!

It’ s me n

a know fact Bal ding make bett er lov ers… …

Look at a ll drunken

th ese c razy people ….  Don’t they know?  The DVD & VCR are broken.  Without technology we might as well be back in the stone age.  Never fear I have the manual…I’ll figure it out.

Some peopl e got to eat in Vegas. . those Rat bas tards.

Yea they got to eat too. . Mother fa ther cocker spani el s……

Be nd ove r here c ome s our g ear!! !! !!

I swe ar the y b ring mor e S**T ea ch fric king ye ar , eve n th e F**k ing kitc he n sink ……

I’ m no t rid in g on the bus, I have a reputati up hol d….

short on to

Ea t my d ust …. Sh ort buse rs!!! !

Firs t Dr in k o f the Da y!! !

Fish y Ta co Nig ht

I got the f rick’e n sa lad wh ere is my margarit a?

Margari tas!!!

Kitchen Cre w hard at wo rk.

I better get t his she mi ght spi t in Ta co s..

to C J or my Fi shy

Just another Sandbar

Jon’s Pe rfect Ri ve r Wo man

John yo u Kinky bast ard, wh o k new… ..

Th e usual morning v ist a

To o much t eeth J on!! !!

Th e u su al sc enery .

Some tim es you must endure the el ements for the Luau to come.

Th e Rive r G ods Wr ath is m ighty b ut fle etin g…

Mia Tias yo u sa y?

Af ter the r ain the water falls came .

“ Tin y bubble s i n t he win e,”

“ Ma ke me fe el happy, Make m e feel f ine”

“ Tiny bubble s Ma ke me wa rm a ll ove r”

“ With a f eelin ' that I 'm gonna lo ve yo u til l t he e nd o f tim e”

“ So here 's t o the golden moon”

“ An d here's to the sil ve r se a“

‘ An d mo stly h toast To yo u and

ere's a me ”

Wait a min ute….

 Sexy Mon……  Carol’s got her hands full there..  Check out that bum.. & the size of his bolt…  Hawaiian Love God..

Kitchen Cr ew wo rkin g th e Ha waiia n Mo jo …

“ It rubs the loti on on it' s ski n then it pl ac es it in the bas ke t... or el se it g ets the ho se a gai n! !

Wh at d id h e sa y?

Sa ndbars

Ex sq use eme ? Th e coffe e is n’t re ady ye t.

Hats off to t he K itchen Cr ew… .

Waaa L AAA… ..

Avast mate ys I doobi e known as “ SOTIN” in dees har water s.  But on dar High Seas of  

 

Mojave I doobie “The French Tickler” I hold rank Quarter Master On dar blood thirstest vessel wit te black heart’d crew yar ev’r laid eyes upon. Dar Pequod man…. She set course under Capt’n Black Dick Ahab

Bl asp hemer!! No ble nder & yo u’ve got mix ed d rinks.

An a fter noo n at th e ver y excl usi ve “Gr een Ri ver Day Sp a”

Gre en Ri ve r Da y Sp a contin ues..

   

You think we’re laughing? Gordon you just guaranteed your not getting any! Women have a pact about this kind of thing. Say hi to your new best friend Rosy, for me.

K-b ob Night

 Tom the official “Kabob Cook” and immediate assistant to Mimi the HC.  What kind do you want?  We got Chicken  Shrimp  Even Salmon  Get’em while the get’ns good Y’all.  We only have 75 Kabobs for 25 people

Th e Se nator purvie ws the c omin g fe ast .

Oops yo u wa it ed.. Th ere is ju st a few le ft…

Just yo ur a ve rage mo rning vie w.

Joke Nig ht

Geni e of the lamp, I wish to be the smar test man in the worl d.

I want to be the second sm ar test man in the worl d. . Errrr I mean, twi ce as sm ar t as the sm artest man in the worl d.

El Tre s Am ig os + 3 shots

El Tr es Amig os + 7 sh ots

It was a ve ry b ig Gun.

El Tres Ami gos + the bottl e

DA MO ON… .

It’s a li ttle h ik e Da mo n.

It’s only four miles. You shouldn’t have any problems. Food.. Naa we don’t need no stinking food. “Yea but my buddies always say take some food & lots of water no matter what, trail mix etc..”  We’re only going to be gone a couple of hours at most….. One bottle of water should be plenty…  Ok Gary I’m trusting you you’ve done this before……..    

We’ll this i s p retty fla t.

DA M OON…. .

Looks g ood stil l..

No t to o st eep

A l it tle b oulder hopping…Co ol I ’m i n.

We’ re going the re!!!

Way up the re!!!! !

Fools I say . Why would t hey go tr omping around in t he sun when t here is a per fect ly good ta rp here?

Is t here a litt le Ca ptain in yo u?

On e b ack fli p & I’m d own th e mounta in…. N o hik in g

Gary we real ly needed more wat er & beef Jer ky at least. .

Se e i t’s n ot ju st me.

Form al Night

But of night

Co urse…Form al cal ls for Fi let Mignon

I can’t b eli eve Jon did n’t le ave h er i n the te nt !

An d t hen i t happened…..  Never before in the history of the GR had this occurred.  New is not necessarily bad.  Formal Night became something else entirely.  Some would say bad, others would say better.  The answer is for the sages to debate over the ages..

South er n For ma l Ni ght

That’s right, we celebrate the great Southern Victory of “The Battle of Chickamauga”

Fourteen years bef ore our Great Victory at Chi ckamauga.

The War of Nor thern Aggress io n is sti ll abhorrent t o t his day …. .

Whe re w as I…W .L. We ller fo und ed the distillery and produce d his fir st barr el of Bou rbo n.

The South

Senator from the di spl ays hi s Rebel Yel l for h is const itu en ts…  If I am reelected to the

great state of Intoxication. I promise a Chicken in every pot…

 A Georgia Peach for each man of voting age.  A bottle of 12 year old Rebel Yell for each verified vote for me…

As I was sayi ng thi s Bou rbo n use s the same South ern Sour Mash r ecip e as the fi rst ...

It se ems “ Th e I ce Nazi ” c an not h old h is Bo urbon…

Rebel Yel l is Di st il led exclus iv ely f or the Dee p South.

Bei ng from t he D eep South I m ust tel l you thi s is not Reb el Yell…  It is the sweet Donna of the Ball…  Southern Comfort.  I can tell you in my youth.  I took Comfort in many a Southern Bells arms…  Being a Southern Gentleman I can speak no more on that particular

“ SOTIN” persu ad es th e gu es ts to his F ra nc oGer man ic wa ys .

 Do not let the Northern aggressors continue to have their Boot heel upon the throat of the Glorious South.  There is but one choice here. The South must rise again to thwart its oppressor.  And Germany can be your friend & ally in this endeavor.  We have just the Ships to sell …. And rifles too..

Ye eaaaaawww www w!!! !!  They might be secessionists but they make a Damn Fine Bourbon…  The boys & I in the Northern Navy know how to appreciate a Sour Mash Bourbon such as this….

Iron ical ly the So ut hern Bel le s had th e bes t Rebel Yel ls…

The Congres smen veri fies the conten ts are sati sf actory & perf orms a puri ty t est. .

Look real fo od no tu bed meat.

Jon c ame we ll provisi oned fo r the outin g.

The Grand Pooba hears your stori es of tragedy for ri ver gol d!

ICE

Ri ver Gol d! !! ! The King of t he barter…

“ Son Of The Ice Naz i” stands wat ch over the Ri ver Gol d! !!

Pr ay t o t he Ice Gods..  Your prayers have been answered…  That’s one frosty Mama..  If your Lucky you’ll get the cold shoulder……  It puts a whole new meaning to the drink slippery nipple…  I never new Ice could be so Sexy…

Yo u p raye d to th e wr ong ic e g ods!!

 Geezz… put some pants on…Your embarrassing the rest of us icily challenged….  Wait a minute that thing about Ice being Sexy, I take it all back…..  It’s supposed to shrink in the cold….. No really it’s a fact…

Is the re a lit tle Ca pt ain in you ?

Wil l th is b e yo u ?

?

Or are yo u more lik e the “ Qu een o f the Nil e”?

?

Let yo ur at Gr een

Ca ptain l oose Rive r, U ta h!! !!

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 Music performed by:  7 seconds of Love, Rathergood & Don Ho

 2005 Green River Canoeists supplied the pictures.  Slide show complied, arranged and written by Damon Faucher. AKA Son of the Ice Nazi or SOTIN for short.  Innumerable thanks to “El Tres Amigos” for organizing & operating the Trip.  The Grand Poobah Gary Szytel  The Ice Nazi Paul L. Faucher Jr.  Rear Admiral Jonathan K. Blake

The E nd