Gender perspectives from a man Recall on family background First, I would like to recall on my family. My parents are from Batak ethnic group, a sub‐ ethnic group in the north Sumatera province. My father is the fourth of thirteen children. He was the first boy from 4 boys and 9 sisters. The third child of nine, my mother is recognized as the first born since her elder siblings died in infancy. Having a big family back then was not unusual since family planning was not practiced and a lot of children meant a great help for the family. According to the Batak’ custom or “adat”, the more children you have the luckier you will be. I am the eldest of four children, and was born in 1960. At that time, the political and economical situations in Indonesia were not so stable; my mother told me that staple food was scare and expensive. Most of the people could not afford it. However, since my mother worked as an assistant pharmacist in the Health Department of Indonesian Air Force, she got rations of baby formula from her office. Because my father was still a university student when they got married, in the beginning my mother was the breadwinner. After he finished his study, he started his career at University of Indonesia as junior lecturer. He also lectured part‐time in a newly established Christian university in Jakarta. Hence, they both worked to support the family. Then, I learned that my mother took a significant role in nurturing the family. Though we lived in a small house in the capital city of Jakarta, I remember many a time we hosted our extended families and relatives from the villages who wish to make a living in the city. It was not unusual, either, to have many guests and share our house with many people back then. They helped us with the household cores, while they were studying or looking for employment. In my childhood time as far as I am concerned, gender role was not clearly distinguished. My brother and I were given the same tasks as the girls. Dish‐washing and house cleaning were not strange to me. Sometimes I helped pumping the water from our well. However, my parents often told me to look after my brother and sisters, especially on the way to our school‐‐we went to the same school. Before I went home from school, I had to be sure that my sisters and brother had already gone home or if not, we would go home together on foot or by becak‐‐a tricycle paddled by a man. This was one of the life‐lessons on responsibility as the big brother and more importantly as a boy. We went to Sunday school in a protestant church nearby our house. At Sunday school I was always amazed by the characters of the Bible’s heroes, like Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, David, Deborah, Elijah, Ruth, Esther, Peter, and Paul told to us by our Sunday school teachers. How they were called by God ‐‐ men and women ‐‐ to accomplish difficult tasks, and most of the times they had to sacrify. I learned that God calls anybody, regardless of their sexes, to be His messengers and to be His partner for completing His plans. Page 1 of 4 Simatupang, Abraham
Indonesia is known by its diversity – geographically it consists of around 17.000 islands, with around 240 million inhabitants, which give also various ethnic groups, customs, vernaculars and dialects. Five major world religions, such as Islam, Christian, Buddhism, Hinduism and Confucians are acknowledged, although some indigenous people still practice their own belief. Indonesia is an agricultural country, and like other agricultural countries, Indonesia has strong traditions where gender‐related issues are cultivated in which male and female roles are distinguished very strongly. For example the women were responsible for child rearing while the men for provision of food and shelter. But, nowadays, since they are more open many to influence from the outside, the values change and gender‐related issues or gender‐role on society is no longer easy to define. This to some extent gives benefits to their female members because they have more opportunities to fulfill their dreams as individuals. They can pursue higher education or career if they want. Many women work to earn not only for themselves but also for their families. We already had a woman president and a number of women are leaders in provincial or regency government. A higher quota of women, up to 30% of the total members of around 550 of the national parliament has been extensively discussed recently. The fight toward gender justice, however, is not realized fully. Certain groups who have their own principles try to slow down the process. From traditional custom such as arranged marriage, a more legalized actions such as imposing curfew for women in certain areas, the local government or regent producing bills which to the some extent are not “women‐ friendly”, to an organized crime such as women trafficking. Ideas of God and the role of men and women If God created only man OR woman, then life, one believes, would have been easier. Is that true? As God created Adam, He realised afterwards that Adam needs a companion or partner. If that is so, then why God did not create “another” Adam? He created a woman, instead. Moreover, God who made man and woman in “His Image” (Imago Dei) had put also his love to be one of their vital characteristics. Therefore, from the beginning man and woman had been equipped with love. They are supposed to walk hand‐in‐hand. Unfortunately, their love story was not without distortion; the Devil in a form of snake cleverly destroyed the love they had. The consequence was fatal; the immortal love they possessed was shattered and replaced by a mortal and egocentric love. We are fully aware that human relationship had been ruined by sin. Therefore, it is impossible to reestablish a harmonious relationship between man and woman only through our deeds. The first couple, Adam and Eve, was expelled physically from the Garden of Eden and spiritually from God; the prime love which was the basis of their beings was also vanished. Since then they were always hungry for their own rightfulness. It was clear, that soon after they committed their sin, they started to accuse each other for the sin they committed. From then on, everything was seen from his or her own perspectives and for their own needs only. This everlasting “battle of the sexes” can be seen throughout the
human history. Woman and man can live in harmony again only if they reestablish their relationship with God through the acceptance the power of the unconditional love of Jesus Christ. And by the love of Jesus the relationship between them and between men and women and their Creator is healed. Commitment to gender justice Gender justice has to be worked out by both women and men of every status, regardless their economic, educational, religious, familial, and philosophical backgrounds. This is a great challenge to everybody who gives his/her commitment to gender justice. To educate and empower people is a continuing process. As I described earlier, Indonesia is in a transition phase ‐‐from an agricultural country into a modern country‐‐and it is time to reflect, change, learn and take action for the betterment of our country. To reach this ideal goal, I prefer to begin from my own circle. How I communicate with the members of the family is a very important step. Christian values or characters, such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self‐control (Gal. 5: 22‐ 23) should be learned and internalised and practiced at home. Every time I stand before the class, as I look at the students, I look into their future, therefore I take part in shaping their ideas about gender, especially when we discuss about HIV/AIDS. Vision of the future My understanding of gender was also shaped by the church which at times is not always in favor of gender equity. Besides, church gives wrong interpretations on gender issues. It is not completely wrong, however, since the context of the Bible represents more or less patriarchal societies. The burning of (women) witches from the Middle Ages and up to early 18th century was the black history of the church. As long as gender injustice exists, other kinds of injustice will never be diminished. Poverty which is rampant in most of the developing countries, to some extent, is fuelled through gender‐injustice policies, regulations, and bills produced by the governments which are not gender‐sensitive. Women and men are not equally treated before the law. Therefore, it produces vicious circle. I remember, when I was a child, I did not see a woman as pastor. But, today, there are a number of women pastors. However, this is not enough; church should play a major role in developing a gender sensitive society, which is a very important foundation for a just and civilized society. Through church teachings, sermons, and actions, the people will not only become believers but also doers. One intriguing thing is that many church‐goers or lay‐ members of church believe that church should refrain from secular things. But, since the world is becoming more complex and people are desperately looking for the right answers to their everyday problems. Therefore, church should always side‐by‐side with the marginalised people to give them new hope for a new life, this I think like what Jesus said in Matthew 25: 40 (Today’s English Version): The King will reply, 'I tell you, whenever you did Page 3 of 4 Simatupang, Abraham
this for one of the least important of these brothers of mine, you did it for me!' And this is God’s call to you and me, men and women. Abraham Simatupang – at a glance He is a trained medical doctor in clinical pharmacology, a lecturer in the school of medicine – Universitas Kristen Indonesia (UKI), Jakarta. He has been active in HIV/AIDS‐related issues since 5 years ago, and helped to establish HIV/AIDS unit at the UKI’s Teaching Hospital, and together with his colleagues he developed an HIV/AIDS learning module for medical student. He took part in establishing the Task‐Force for HIV/AIDS of the Indonesian Council of Churches (Persekutuan Gereja‐gereja di Indonesia) and together with other HIV/AIDS‐concerned faith‐based organisations established Indonesia interfaith organizations against AIDS (Interna). He is married to Ied Veda Sitepu, a lecturer in English Department at the same university. They are blessed with 3 daughters, Rebecca, Vanessa and Isabelle. He lives with the family in Jakarta, Indonesia.