Four Ones Are..

Four ones are……!!!! “I Love You”. I said. She slapped me....!! Ahhh…..!!!!! Wait a second… When did I say that? I didn’t say that & she didn’t slap me. C’mon Vidya! You can’t do that to me. But why it sounded like that? I don’t know. May be I felt like that! I didn’t ever say that to anybody. Not to my Mom, who always cared me, not to my ‘I’ll-KillFor- Truth” Dad, who always guided me & not even to my Einstein- Clone brother, who still guards from my Dad. I didn’t say to any of my close friends like Rich- kid Sean, who never feels like that, or the Retardo Ali, or even to my all time “future” business partner Manu. Ok! Let me tell you the truth. I even didn’t said that to “any” girl right from my 10 grade, I dated, flirted, kissed & “You know what!” I felt that someday someone from the above list at some time or other will slap me for saying it or for not saying it. But, I didn’t have Vidya on my list. Any time! But why I felt like that? She is just standing in front of me with her big blue eyes turning into red. Ah! “They are Beautiful”. Oh…! OK! I can see her anger in that eyes & yes, she has got tears all over her redturned pinkish cheeks. It was 5.00 PM & at the end of March, it’s a little bit hot, but her eyes made the temperature of the environment around us to rise up. Wow! She’s hot! I haven’t spoken a word after that .I just started to stare at her, hoping that she’ll say something to me. But, it felt like that there’s nothing to say anymore. May be, sometimes silence speaks more than syllables! So, I was just thinking what’s going to happen in the next moment. For a fraction of second, all the time we spent together, the incidents, the telephonic conversations, the little disputes, the lab work, the Prof’s we hate, the friends we love, the bus for which I wait for her, daily & all that stuff passed in my mind. I always used to make fun of this kind of situations, when they happen in movies. I always used to think that how so many things can go through the mind at that time? But, nobody will understand that, until they experience it. That’s what I’m going through right now. Experience!

We just stared at each other for few moments, without speaking a word to each other. I just felt that, this is the longest time I just want to end. But, I don’t know when it’s going to end. I can listen, the sound that’s coming from her tone, which I hate the most. Crying! I hate it. I hate her crying. I told her many times that I hate crying, especially her, but she’s doing that, right in front of me. But, now I can’t say anything to her at this moment. Finally, the silence broke. No! I didn’t do that! It’s not my fault! It’s her! God! She broke it, by saying something. That’s the “most horrible” thing I have ever heard! I never wanted to hear that from her! It sounded like a curse given by angels for many lives. It’s like an order given by Lieutenant to his First class, who hates him for that. It’s like an interviewer asking a student, a question on a topic which he failed for three times & finally, it just sounded like Prof. Hari, commanding me to solve a problem in front of the whole class, especially “girls”, from Vector Algebra with some 16 variables in it, which will take some 30 minutes & 6 pages to complete. I hate it! She said that & started to move on. She’s just going forward in her sky blue dress, which suites her the most. Wow! That’s fabulous! Oh God…! I’m doing it, again. OK! She hasn’t looked back, just kept her head down & her long flowing hair ruffled around her. Soon, she went far away from me, so far that I can’t hear her footsteps. But the distance between us suddenly has illusion into miles, to me. I just felt that she can’t listen to me even if I roar like a Lion, whose roar can be listened from 5 miles. OK. I’m no “Lion”! Slowly, I started to remember what she said again, again & again. I just felt like an Ox, which ruminates a lot times to digest what it ate, soon. But, I’m no “Ox” too! So, I digested it sooner. But, why I’m comparing myself with only animals? Don’t I have any one who appears to be vaguely human to compare? God…! I felt “Yes! It’s going to be ok!” By next second, the feeling changed to “No! It’s not going to be ok!” A minute later it changed again to “Yes! It can be ok, sometime later”. After that, it again changed to “No! It can’t get better even sometime later”. Why my feelings are changing at this rate? I haven’t even changed my girl friends at this speed. But, why! Why for her? After, I completely digested what she said; I found that “It’s going to be never OK. Never! Not in this life” People said that there will be sometimes in your life, when you feel, earth quakes crushing you down in to earth, thunderstorms falling right on your head & blow your mind out of you, hurricanes happen by which you will be thrown deep in to the oceans & floods occur which drown you into a never ending rivers.

I just thought that’s all crap. But Yes! This is it! This is the moment, making me to feel that some earth quake, “epi-centered” in my brain, crushing my bones & muscles deep into my toes. God! Its’ hurting! The Sun almost came down. I am not alone on the long road which takes to main gate. Two girl’s hostel buses, some fifty students in which more than 30 are girls sitting around are about to board their “helicopter-sounding” hostel buses, chatting like some “disaster” happened, in & around them. Oh God! Still thinking about girls! Stop it man! I turned around & started to walk towards my hostel. I can’t hear any sound, except what she said to me, which made me to feel like a prick! It’s ringing in my ear again & again like a cell phone ringing with a weird ringtone beside you & no one is there to lift it, or like fire alarm with no smoke anywhere around you or like an ambulance siren, when you are taking a deep sleep. I still feel her around me saying again & again it to me in her sweet voice mixing her anger, restlessness, frustration, hatred & of course love in depth, “Enough Vic! Enough! Is there anything left in between us to talk, anything? Anymore? I don’t think so! Good Bye.” God! It’s hurting! No! It’s Killing..!!!