Foghorn Newspaper: Apr 16th

FREEDOM AND FAIRNESS

VOL. 105

TheFoghornOnline.com

ISSUE 20

APRIL 16, 2009

USF Celebrates Passover, Sheds Light on Genocide in Darfur

A Delta Zeta member rides a teeter-totter in spite of the rain to raise funds for blind children.

NEWS

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Andrew Jimenez/Foghorn USF held a Seder to observe Passover last Sunday where Rabbi Lee Bycel spoke about the importance of human rights in relation to the Jewish holiday.

Columnist Mimi Honeycutt dishes on the “healthy” foods that are anything but.

OPINION

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HAYDEN BOYD KATE GREENSPAN DANIELA RICCI-TAM Staff Writers

Why was Monday night unlike all other nights at the University of San Francisco? In McLaren Hall, the soft murmur of hesitant, reverent chanting could be heard, punctuated by the serious voice of Rabbi Lee Bycel. Around a hundred people had gathered to mark USF’s �rst annual Passover Seder, which sought to draw attention to the oppression and genocide of the

Darfuri people. �is event was sponsored by USF’s Swig Program in Jewish Studies and Social Justice, as well as by the American Jewish World Service (AJWS), an international development organization that, according to its website, is dedicated to pursuing justice and “alleviating poverty, hunger and disease among the people of the developing world regardless of race, religion or nationality.” Bycel is the executive director of this organization. “We’re here to experience this Seder in this moment, sit together in solidarity, and to recognize the danger in saying ‘�at’s what happened way back when,’” Bycel said. “Tonight I want you to think about

the boys and girls in today’s Egypt enslaved by another pharaoh.” �is “Egypt” is the Darfur region of Sudan, where, according to the AJWS, over 450,000 Darfuri people have died from violence, disease and malnutrition since 2003, and 2.47 million have been displaced within Darfur. An additional 185,000 are refugees in Chad. �e audience was constantly reminded of the plight of the Darfuri people by the projection of a repeating reel of photographs of refugees: a young girl carrying her little sister on her back, the wide staring eyes of three Sudanese boys, and one of the many ramshackle makeshift residences found in the IDP (internally displaced per-

deavors at USF, from working with USFtv, shooting a music video for Wyclef Jean, to posing on the set of the College Players’ production of the Vagina Monologues. Coon’s website, WhoIsJonCoon.com, uses the campaign slogan “Who is Jon Coon?” to de�ne himself as a student and candidate. Coon’s site includes a biography, an extensive description of why he is running for ASUSF president, a link to his personal blog where voters can learn more about him, and even videos for people to see him in action. Coon’s website and campaign is being run by successful nightclub promoter and USF junior Tom Roche. Marquez took the traditional option of creating a Facebook group for which he lists the many organizations supporting him and list of his campaign promises, including an offer to spend $2,000 of his would-be stipend to host an event for USF students. �e president’s total stipend is $7,000. All of these online platforms allow USF voters to question and interact with their candidates. Maybe this spring’s elections, running April 23-27, will actually draw a voter turnout above last year’s ten percent.

HUNTER PATTERSON Staff Writer

sons) camps, overcrowded with millions of inhabitants. Also noticeable was the meal set before the attendees, which included matzah (unleavened bread), cottage cheese, carrots and celery, tuna salad, egg salad and a stick of butter—a meal which seemed meager, but, Bycel said, would be seen as a feast by many of the impoverished people across the world. �e symbolic Seder plate, however, remained bare. “Until the people of Darfur are free, the plate of Seder will not be full,” said Bycel. Attendees were provided with the Haggadah, a Jewish text that guides Passover Seders, as well as excerpts and quotations from human rights advocates like Elie Wiesel, Langston Hughes and the Dalai Lama. Bycel led the Seder by choosing audience members to read aloud from the Haggadah and encouraging audience participation in group reading and song. �roughout the ceremony, the rabbi asked questions to stimulate an emotional connection with the audience and to incite them to consider their social responsibilities. “Passover is about making the world better, making people freer. What are we going to do to make this world better?” Bycel demanded. �e audience came forward with questions of their own. “What is the responsibility of each of us?” one asked. “Why hasn’t the U.S. government done more?” demanded another. “Why aren’t the aid workers being let back into the region?” “Why have we become so numb?” Martina Knee of the San Francisco Bay Area Darfur Coalition said, “�e reason Darfur continues to go on is the lack of political will to end it. Not one politician will lose an election because they failed to do something about genocide.” However, SEDER: Continued on Page 2

Senate Candidates Campaign Online Babysitting A Popular Part-Time Job �e Foghorn interviews the director of “�e Laramie Project” about the play and rehearsal process.

SCENE

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Steven Garboden sprints to the �nish line at the UC Davis Woody Wilson Invite where the Dons Track and Field performed exceptionally well this Easter weekend.

SPORTS

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LAURA PLANTHOLT Staff Writer �e ASUSF Senate race is on, and this year three candidates are running for president, which may lead to a much more involved campaigning process than last year when current President Alex Platt, ran unopposed. �is spring, Platt is running for reelection, along with opposing candidates Jon Coon and Bobby Marquez, who are currently off-campus representatives. �e increased competition may have sparked some of the candidates’ decisions to create websites to campaign for their positions. Coon and Platt both have websites which they are promoting with outlets such as Facebook and Twitter. Perhaps inspired by U.S. President Barack Obama’s innovative web campaign, the new online presence allows USF student voters to get to know and interact with their candidates more than a paper campaign �ier would allow. Platt’s website, PlattForPres.com, features sections with a biography, campaign promises for next year, and a blog on campaign updates. She uses a brightly colored logo and many photos from her various en-

Rugby Supports I (Heart) Consent

Days until classes are over

Check out footage from the Foghorn’s Harney Plaza event featuring electro-grime duo, Women Of �e Tenderloin.

FOGHORN

ONLINE

SAN FRANCISCO FOGHORN

USF students are busy juggling class schedules, textbooks and apparently babies. It is not that they are having more children, but many students babysit after class as a way of earning extra money. �e USF Career Services Center (CSC) maintains a list of available student babysitters that they send out to interested parents. �e list is popular with both students and parents. �ere are currently 107 students who have listed themselves as available to babysit with CSC. Christina Gonzalez-Lopes, a student assistant at CSC, said that the center receives about 10 new inquiries from parents every week and estimates that there are hundreds of parents who hire USF students to look after their children. When they sign up for the babysitting lists students are asked to give their major and say whether they are CPR-certi�ed or if they drive. Nursing students who put themselves on the list are particularly popular with parents who want to know their children will be in good hands in case of an emergency. Erica Alvarado, a nurse who graduated from USF last spring, said she received frequent inquires from parents who were

seeking a nursing student to nanny their children. “I think they just felt more comfortable knowing that if anything went wrong, as unlikely as that is, their children would be with someone who knew how to act in an emergency,” she said. Alvarado worked with several families while she was in school and continues to babysit for one family because she has grown attached to the children, even though she has a fulltime job as a nurse at a hospital in San Francisco. Many students prefer babysitting to other jobs because the hours are �exible - responsibilities can range from Tuesday morning museum visits to late Saturday nights. �e pay is also good; USF studentbabysitters said they were paid in the $12 to $25 range and some parents tip or give money for cab fare. Senior Ashton Bothman said lately she has been working 24-40 hours a week as a nanny, mostly on nights and weekends, and is thankful to have the job because school and an unpaid internship in media consume most of her daytime hours. She has also learned a lot about children. “I think it’s the best form of birth control. I’ll go eight hours and then I’ll be so happy to hand the child back to their parents,” she said.

Courtesy of Florentina Dublin

The USF Men s Rugby Team poses in I (heart) Consent t-shirts in support of the movement on campus to promote awareness about sexual assault.

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Jewish Holiday Evokes Empathy SEDER: Continued from page one

she said, “If enough people make noise, politicians will listen.” �e event provoked ideas about the importance of Judaism to social justice on the world stage. �e Jewish holiday of Passover was used to highlight the need for liberation from modern-day enslavement. Aaron Hahn Tapper, the director of the Swig Program and professor of Jewish studies, said, “�e goal of the program was to raise awareness on human rights issues and offer ways to deal with and end them.” “Now I see how much Judaism has to do with the global community,” said Paul Jimenez, sophomore business major and one of Hahn Tapper’s students. “I think things like this are really important to have on campus, especially because USF is full of people who �nd environmental and social issues important to address,” said Nora Torres, sophomore psychology major. Jimenez said that he was deeply impact-

ed by the Seder. “I came without expectations, and I’m leaving with a motivation to go out and do something about the genocide.” He would like to get involved in the San Francisco Bay Area Darfur Coalition. Knee too was pleased with the results of the Seder and said that students should take action beyond simply discussing social justice. “�e thought of celebrating Passover with the theme of social justice appealed to me. People are enslaved all over the world, and this Passover was more meaningful in a real-world context,” she said. “Now, lots of advocacy organizations make it easy to take action. Phone calls, internet petitions, e-mails – these things take one minute of your time. Just do them.”

NEWS

San Francisco Foghorn

Delta Zeta Totters For Charity

To get involved, students may contact the SF Bay Area Coalition at info@darfursf. org or go the following resources: www.enoughproject.org www.genocideintervention.net

Students Make Lenten Sacrifices LAURA PLANTHOLT Staff Writer Easter Sunday marked the end of Lent, when many Catholics choose to abstain from a guilty pleasure for 40 days to pay homage to the sacri�ce they believe Jesus made for them. At USF, many choose to follow this tradition for spiritual reasons or simply as a personal test of character. Senior Patrick Phillips said he tried to give up chocolate and cigarettes, but cheated on the cigarettes a few times. Freshman Barbara Evangelista also gave up chocolate, cutting down from a bar-a-day habit. After 40 chocolate-free days, she had a few mini chocolate Easter candies on Easter and said, “It wasn’t that wonderful,” and that she now has no more cravings. Some students, such as freshman Deirdre Long, tried more inventive resolutions. Long gave up the dessert crepes from the Market Café, as well as many of the unhealthy fried foods from the grill section. She said in the 40 days of a Lent, she rarely felt cravings for these foods and her skin cleared up from eating more healthfully. Now that Lent is over, she does not feel the need to indulge so much. “I feel like once I’ve given it up for 40 days, I know I don’t need it anymore,” Long said. Freshman Annie Tull decided to give up the sweetener high fructose corn syrup. “I was obsessed with this cranberry apple raspberry juice sold at the cafe but I re-

alized it had high fructose corn syrup in it. I was going to give up just the juice, but then I decided to give up HFCS altogether.” Tull said it wasn’t very difficult to abstain because she generally eats many organic and natural foods, but she checked on items such as cereal if she didn’t know, and did accidentally slip up a couple of times. After the 40 day cleanse, she tried her favorite juice again, and said that after drinking a third of the bottle, she had to stop because it gave her a headache. Catherine Mifsud, director of University Ministry retreats, tried a different approach to Lent this year. “A lot of people use Lent as a 40 day diet or a second shot at a new year’s resolution and I think a lot of signi�cance gets lost.” Instead of giving up one vice for 40 days, she practiced the Fast Pray Give philosophy posted on a website for young adults called BustedHalo.com. On each date of the 40-day period, there is a suggestion for what to fast from, what to pray for, and who to give to; for example, one day it advised people to fast from television and pick up a book instead, pray for those who do not have access to education, and give used books to local libraries, hospitals and after-school programs. While in years past Mifsud made traditional Lenten Resolutions such as abstaining from candy or soda, she felt a more signi�cant experience this year by giving back as well. After all, she said, “How is it going to help the world if I give up chocolate?”

Melissa Stihl/Foghorn A Delta Zeta sorority member participates in Delta Zeta s annual Teeter-Totter-A-Thon last Tuesday and Wednesday in Harney Plaza. The TeeterTotter-A-Thon raised money for blind children.

Students Bare Soles For One Day Without Shoes Law School: LSAT Crucial Key

Photo Illustration by Melissa Stihl/Foghorn A campaign seeks to bring awareness to poverty in the third world by asking people to walk barefoot for a day.

JANET GLYNN Staff Writer

Take a moment and look down at your feet. For most people in the U.S., the view is of a lightly worn shoe and a smoothly paved cement sidewalk. Here, people’s

feet are warm, dry and kept from possible stubbed toes or tetanus-imposed wounds. �e ability to own one or more pairs of shoes is a luxury that is commonly overlooked and seen mainly as another way to make a latest fashion statement. It is a

luxury that people often take for granted. In the developing world owning a pair of shoes is an unusual luxury. �ere, many people’s feet have dirt caked deep into their nails, old sores that sting, and jagged rocks under their feet opening new sores. �is is reality for many people in developing countries where walking is the primary mode of transportation, making their feet susceptible to disease and injury. For these people, shoes are a distant dream beyond their reach. However, an organization called TOMS Shoes is working to make this dream an attainable one. In 2006, a man named Blake Mycoskie traveled to Argentina, where he befriended many local children with nothing to protect their feet. He felt compelled to help them and went on to establish a shoe company that matches every pair of shoes sold with a pair given to a child in need; over 140,000 pairs have been donated so far. Mycoskie’s next endeavor is a movement to raise awareness for the plight of these children. He is asking people to go barefoot on April 16 to bring awareness to the have-nots of the world. �is is the day to share the pair for pair mission and bring attention to the impact that a pair of shoes can have on one’s life. Mycoskie asks people to remove their shoes and walk for a cause. �e event extends internationally; from the United States to Canada, England, France and Italy, people are going barefoot, along with several USF students who have pledged to join the campaign.

Correction In last week’s issue, April 9 issue number 19, the Foghorn incorrectly reported that the USF Umthombo Club held a fundraiser to raise money for a future trip to South Africa. In fact the money raised went to a non-pro�t Umthombo organization to support street children.

CHELSEA M. STERLING News Editor

Although Reese Witherspoon (Elle Woods) makes law school look as easy as getting a manicure in “Legally Blonde”, the majority of students who hope to attend law school must work incredibly hard just to be admitted to a prestigious program. �e Foghorn sat down with the director of admissions at the University of San Francisco School of Law, Alan Guerrero, and the co-presidents of the Undergraduate Law Society, seniors Jesse Ruiz and Shadae Holmes, to discuss the most important aspects of a student’s law school application. �e law school application process is similar to the undergraduate admission process. Most schools, including USF, require two letters of recommendation, a personal essay, an academic transcript (with a grade point average) and a standardized test score. However, this last requirement, the standardized test, is much more intense and difficult than the SAT. �e Law School Admissions Test (LSAT) is a standardized test that focuses on logical and verbal reasoning skills. Many law student hopefuls spend months studying and practicing for the test, which is given four times every year, according to the Law School Admissions Council. Guerrero’s �rst piece of advice to students considering a degree in law was to perform well in college and to prepare for the LSAT as best as possible. While some students can study by themselves, Guerrero suggested that other students who need more structure invest in a course to prepare them for the challenging exam. �ere is no required major for admission to law school; however, English, politics and history have been a few of the major feeders into law programs. Guerrero said that students should major in what they are interested in because they are more likely to perform better. Classes that provide students with the ability to analyze information and to think logically

are crucial to undergraduate preparation. Ruiz agreed and suggested that students take any course that applies logic and reasoning. He also said, “Learning how to write is essential in law school.” �e LSAT includes �ve multiple choice sections of 35 questions each and a writing sample. Scores range from 120 to 180. �e writing sample is not included in the score, but is instead sent to the law schools that the students apply to. Ivy League schools, like Harvard University, do not require a minimum LSAT score, but according to Harvard’s web site, the average admitted student scored between a 170 and a 176 on the LSAT. In addition to being a strict determining factor in admissions, LSAT scores are also used to determine how much �nancial aid a student will receive. Holmes felt that the best way to prepare for law school was to attend a short LSAT course and take pre-law courses. Preparing for a daunting exam like the LSAT can be made easier by joining a group like USF’s Undergraduate Law Society, which seeks to make the admissions process more apparent, �nd scholarships for students and provide guidance about the LSAT. �e society brings in speakers and makes its members aware of free opportunities regarding diagnostic tests and LSAT strategy classes. Ruiz said, “Start exploring the law profession, talk to pre-law advisors.” He doesn’t recommend watching television shows or movies about lawyers. Sometimes students get overwhelmed when they realize they have underestimated the workload. Once students complete their law degree, which is officially entitled a juris doctor ( JD), Guerrero said lawyers can work in a variety of different environments, like business, teaching, politics or management. Most lawyers work in the private sector versus the government or public interest sectors. Guerrero said that in law school, a student will “learn to be a problem solver. People look at you as someone who can solve problems.”

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APRIL 16, 2009

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OPINION

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New ASUSF Budget Unfair �e ASUSF Senate Finance Committee has recently �nished allocating $750,000 to 17 funded accounts for the 2009-10 academic year. �e committee of 10 students is responsible for deciding everything from how many issues of the campus newspaper can be printed to how much can be spent on costumes for College Players’ plays. Next year’s $750,000 budget is $30,000 less than was allocated this year, due to an expected decline in available funds in the upcoming year, and unfortunately, the committee has decided to make up for the loss by slicing funded account budgets and stipends while leaving senate’s excessively high stipends alone. Twelve of the 17 funded accounts had their budgets cut for next year, some by as little as a few hundred dollars, others by as much as a few thousand dollars. �e committee said a “high scrutiny” was put on stipends, in a written letter to funded accounts explaining the budget changes. Student workers at funded accounts already make far less than minimum wage and some student workers like the editor in chief of the Ignatian Literary Magazine, Anna Shajirat, receive no stipend for their labor. Shajirat said she puts in 15 hours a week at her editing job. While the Foghorn admires students for whom work at funded accounts is a labor of love, we should be reasonably compensated for our labor. Or, at least compensated on-par with what workers at other funded accounts are making, senate included. �e ASUSF President makes $7,000 a year, far more than any other stipend position outside of Senate and the four Senate Vice Presidents each receive over $6,000. In comparison, the executive producer of USFtv makes $2,500 a year and the editor in chief of the Foghorn will be getting $3,000 next year. According to Senate, their salaries were set at such �gures after a year of research during which ASUSF senate salaries were compared with similar positions at other universities. We at the Foghorn are glad to hear that Senate wasted so much time searching for justi�cation for their high salaries but �nd it hypocritical that they decided not to research the stipends for other positions. How much time was spent comparing USFtv, Foghorn, Graphics Center and positions at the other 13 accounts that had budget cuts to similar positions at other schools? If Senate was truly concerned with creating equitable stipends, why did

they compare only their own salaries to those at other schools? In their letter to funded accounts, the Finance Committee states that they adjusted stipends based on the amount of responsibilities of each position in relation to positions at other funded accounts. If this is their method for deciding stipends, why did they look externally to determine the stipends for senators and not for any other account? As for responsibilities, what has Senate done this year to deserve so many thousands of dollars more than the executives at other clubs? As you can read in President Platt’s letter elsewhere on the Opinion page, senators extended the hours of Crossroads on �ursday and Friday nights for a trial period and pressured the Board of Trustees to keep tuition low. Platt did not mention Senate’s other big accomplishment this semester, a new image campaign called “Senate is SEXY,” that was quickly canceled. According to ASUSF Vice President of Business Administration My Nguyen, senator stipends are “an accurate representation” of the work done by senate because they are an “umbrella organization.” ASUSF President Alex Platt told the Foghorn that senate positions are equal to part-time jobs and sometimes a choice has to be made between part-time jobs and internships, and being a senate member. Platt’s comments seem to suggest that executives at other funded accounts do not face the same situation. �e stipend cuts made by Senate show that in making this decision they did not take into account the time spent and sacri�ces made by members of other funded accounts, a sign that Senate is out of touch with how much work students put into these jobs. But even more concerning is that not a single cent was cut from the stipends of any ASUSF Senators, and the overall ASUSF budget was increased from $44,071 to $57,872. �is past Tuesday was the deadline to submit written budget appeals to ASUSF, and we hope other funded accounts sent written appeals as the Foghorn did. We also encourage all funded accounts to represent themselves at next Tuesday’s senate meeting when the appeals will be discussed and voted on. ASUSF must be held accountable and explain to the USF community why they are being paid so much more than executives at other clubs with similar work-loads.

SUBMISSION POLICY An All-American Publication ad maiorem dei gloriam �e San Francisco Foghorn is the official student newspaper of the University of San Francisco and is sponsored by the Associated Students of the University of San Francisco (ASUSF). �e thoughts and opinions expressed herein are those of the individual writers and do not necessarily re�ect those of the Foghorn staff, the administration, the faculty, staff or the students of the University of San Francisco. Contents of each issue are the sole responsibilities of the editors. Advertising matter printed herein is solely for informational purposes. Such printing is not to be construed as written or implied sponsorship or endorsement of such commercial enterprises or ventures by the San Francisco Foghorn. ©MMIV-MMV, San Francisco Foghorn. All rights reserved. No material printed herein may be reproduced without prior permission of the Editor in Chief. 10 papers are allowed per person. Additional copies are 25 cents each.

Columns for the Opinion section and Letters to the Editor are gladly accepted from students, faculty, staff and alumni. All materials must be signed and include your printed name, address, and telephone number for veri�cation. Please include your university status (class standing or title). We reserve the right to edit materials submitted. All submissions become the property of the San Francisco Foghorn Columns of not more than 900 words should be submitted by 5 p.m. on the Friday before publication. Letters of 500 words or less should be submitted by 5 p.m. on the Friday before publication. Shorter letters which get to the point have a greater chance of being published than long, rambling diatribes. Anonymous letters are not published. Editorials are written by the Foghorn editorial staff and represent a group consensus. �e San Francisco Foghorn Opinion page is a forum for the free, fair and civil exchange of ideas. Contributors’ opinions are not meant to re�ect the views of the Foghorn staff or the University of San Francisco.

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MIMI HONEYCUTT Columnist �e U.S. has entered a health kick in response to rising obesity rates. Instead of carbs or fat, America has chosen the hippie-hipster route of embracing Mama Earth. One could play a drinking game with a number of “organic,” “natural,” and “heart healthy” labels in the supermarket. Do not let food companies fool you with slick packaging and massive advertising budgets. Here are �ve faux health foods, along with healthier swaps. 1. Kellogg’s Smart Start �ere is nothing smart about starting your day with 14 grams of re�ned sugar and 43 grams of quasi-re�ned carbohydrates per cup. Skulking in the ingredients list are high fructose corn syrup, polydextrose and BHT, all non-nutritious chemicals. Don’t be fooled by the innocuous 100% daily values for iron and folic acid—you consume both in many foods, and an iron surplus can damage your heart and liver. Try Kashi GoLean, which contains 10 grams of �ber, 13 grams of protein, and only 6 grams of sugar. Each cup also con-

tains 480 mg of potassium, which regulates �uid levels and balances sodium. Kashi’s products contain no arti�cial ingredients. For a cheaper healthy cereal, check out Trader Joe’s Honey, Almond and Flax 9 Whole Grain Crunch. 2. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter When fat was the fanged diet monster, a dark ritual brought I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter into the world. �e label simply is not true, and the product contains a slew of unhealthy chemicals. “0 trans fats”? Look up “hydrogenated oil,” then check the ingredients list. Land O’ Lakes Whipped Butter contains only sweet cream and salt, the same number of calories, less fat, and no trans fats. Smart Balance, a butter substitute made from natural oils, is another option. Butter is not a health food, but these varieties are far better than laboratory junk. 3. Vitaminwater Each bottle contains 8 teaspoons of sugar and heaps of unbacked health claims. �ose beefy vitamins? Negated by your surging insulin levels and disrupted metabolism. No wonder the Center for Science in the Public Interest just �led a lawsuit against Coca-Cola for misrepresenting Vitaminwater as a health beverage. Nothing tops straight water, but if you absolutely cannot stand the stuff, check out Hint Essence Water. Based locally and made without preservatives or calories, Hint comes in all-natural fruit �avors such as Honeydew Hibiscus and Strawberry Kiwi. If you must have your Vitaminwater, at least go for the new naturally sweetened Vitaminwater 10 line. 4. Whole Grain Pop Tarts “Whole grain” is the food industry’s

current buzzword, and everybody wants on the wagon. Whole grains are the �rst ingredient in these new Pop Tarts...followed promptly by enriched (nutritionally void) �our, seven kinds of sugar, and trans fat. Is there any semi-healthy swap for a pop tart? Not really. Amy’s Organic Toaster Pops contain whole grains and leave out the chemistry set, but lack �ber and nutrients. You may want to check out this quick, healthy breakfast alternative: Trader Joe’s Fiber Cakes. Packed full of �ber and fruit, the cakes are little muffins brimming with nutritious yummies. 5. Special K Bliss Bar Scream “It’s only 90 calories!” all you want, but 90 calories of what? Certainly not �ber or protein, but just look at that sparkly sugar and corn syrup. �e quality of your food is just as important as the quantity of your food in determining good nutrition. Next time, try a Larabar. Made from smooshed dates, nuts, fruits and spices, Larabars come in tasty �avors such as Key Lime Pie and Cashew Cookie. �ey contain no added oils or sugars. �e calories and fat are higher, but the fats are hearthealthy and the calories are worth the nutrition. Clif Nectar bars and Kind bars are more great options. �ere you have it—�ve easy swaps that will help will leave you feeling better about your health and that you saw through the food industry’s shenanigans. Even with these healthy products, however, the best diets always star whole, unprocessed, uncopyrighted foods. Mimi Honeycutt is a freshman media studies major.

SoCal Perspective From First-Time Visitor

ERIKA HEYER Columnist Instead of staying in San Francisco for Easter this year, I decided to travel south to the other part of California that San Franciscans have dubbed SoCal. �e only encounters I have had with SoCal are a couple of trips to San Diego and one night in L.A. in a hotel on a layover. I have been to San Diego, but from what I’ve heard L.A. County is a completely different animal. My brother moved to the promised land for New Englanders, Huntington Beach, California. New Englanders love to complain, especially about the weather, but there is little to complain about in Orange County. As I descended into John Wayne Airport I must have passed over at least 15

baseball �elds and �ve golf courses in a matter of minutes. Jealousy ran over me as I realized that baseball can be played all year round and any kind of precipitation is a foreign concept to these Orange County residents. Another wave of jealousy came over me when I saw that my brother lives one mile from surfers’ heaven on earth, Huntington Beach, also known as Surf City, USA. USF is close to Ocean Beach, but there are not many days that are sunny or warm enough to lie on the beach and enjoy it. Once I got settled in my brother’s new digs, it was off to Anaheim Stadium to see the Angels play the Boston Red Sox, of course. I was happy to see that these ball fans were passionate and did not let me get away with wearing Red Sox gear without hearing about it. �e stadium itself was one of the nicer ones I have been in and reminded me a lot of AT&T Park. With the water fountains out in center �eld and �reworks after the game, Anaheim Stadium satis�ed this baseball fan even though the Red Sox lost. �e next day I was able to see the parts of SoCal that I have only heard about from my friends and have seen in movies: Beverly Hills and Hollywood. As we drove up Hollywood Blvd. with the top down on my brother’s convertible, I was de�nitely seeing how the other half of the state lived. Instead of seeing actual historical landmarks like Paul Revere’s house in Boston or Alcatraz in San Francisco, I got to see the original Fredrick’s of Hol-

lywood store, the walk of fame, the Capitol Records building and National Lampoon’s Headquarters. �e culture in this area was like nothing else I have experienced. People were dressed in costumes of Elvis, Marilyn Monroe and even a Transformer for tourists to take pictures with them and hopefully get tips in front of the Kodak theater, the home of the Oscars. �e panhandlers on Haight St. asking for booze money should take a lesson from those characters to make more cash. After seeing the Hollywood sign it was time to see where all of these Hollywood people like to call home. Beverly Hills is the fantasy land of California. Every house is like a dream home complete with a $50,000 car in the driveway. Designers like Roberto Cavali, Dolce and Gabana, and Valentino have their own stores and are at the �ngertips of shoppers on Rodeo Dr. Everything about this area was fancy; even the Mel’s Drive-In had valet parking for all customers. Although you can hear things about a place it isn’t exactly real until you see it yourself. After my �rst experience with L.A. and Orange County, I wouldn’t mind living in Orange County after graduation next spring. I love the sun, sur�ng, and being able to have some remnants of a tan all year round. And if I can �nd a baseball game at any point during the year, count me in. Erika Heyer is a senior politics major.

A Letter From ASUSF President Alex Platt Hello USF! I am your Associated Student President for ASUSF Senate. With elections fast approaching, I wanted to reintroduce myself and highlight some of Senate’s accomplishments so far this year. If you are unaware of Senate’s purpose as an organization, our primary function is to serve as the voice of you, the students. With 31 representatives, including myself, we span every class, college, and age group of USF undergraduates. Every year, Senate helps to respond to and resolve important issues on campus. We have regular presentations from administrators on the status of USF, including those from Father President Privett, and Margaret Higgins, Vice President of University Life. Students are always invited to Senate to bring issues to light. Our Senators have worked with their constituents this year on everything from safety concerns on campus, to community engagement and involvement. In each instance that Senate offers a statement or resolution, Senators take

the issue back to their speci�c constituent groups. In doing this, they gain a greater understanding and perspective of how their fellow students feel and to uncover any potential concerns. When the Senate reconvenes to make a �nal decision, each Senator presents the thoughts of their constituents. Voting occurs after a thorough discussion has taken place, and the Senators’ votes re�ect the collective opinion of their represented student group. Our recommendation for change is taken to the administration, and is always taken very seriously. We have an incredible potential to create change, made more possible with help from the input of the student body. Two notable resolutions on campus this year are the: *Tuition Resolution, encouraging the University to keep this past December’s tuition increase at the lowest possible level *Crossroads Resolution, extending the hours of �ursday and Friday evenings in Crossroads to 2:30 a.m. As the President, I sit on the Board of Trustees. After passed by Senate I present-

ed the Tuition Resolution to the Board and University Life Committee to encourage the University to put the students �rst, and keep tuition at a low. It was taken seriously, and in�uenced the Board of Trustees to keep the increase at an all time low. �e Crossroads Resolution was presented by your Sophomore Class Representatives Patrick Sudlow and Lansen Leu, as a way to meet the need of a safe late-night social space on campus. �ey coordinated with Crossroads and Bon Appetit to specify times for their trial run of the extended hours through April. Senate campaigning for next year is in full swing this week, and voting will begin April 27 through April 30 online. Senate is here for you. Voting helps make sure that your voice is heard in every step of the process. It only takes a few minutes. Know your candidates. Vote. If you have any questions about Senate, stop by our office in UC 100, attend one of our weekly Tuesday meetings from 6-8 p.m., or email me at aplatt@usfca. edu. Sincerely, Alex Platt

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APRIL 16, 2009

One Gigantic Bummer Review by COLIN GIBBONS Staff Writer

Chris Witte/Foghorn

The cast of The Laramie Project rehearse for their upcoming performances on April 17 - 18 in Lone Mountain s Studio Theater.

Inside The Laramie Project

Interview by MELISSA BARON Scene Editor

�e San Francisco Foghorn sat down with performing arts and social justice major Maro Guevera to discuss his direction of “�e Laramie Project. “ San Francisco Foghorn: How did you become involved in the play? Maro Guevara: �is is a PASJ show. I’m a theater minor within PASJ. SFF: What shows have you worked on in the past? MG: Most of the stuff I’ve done at USF has been through College Players. I’ve been in three of their musicals and recently I also got to do a cabaret called “Gross Indecency” (which is, strangely enough, written by the same people who created “Laramie Project”). Last year I was also part of a PASJ show called “Metamorphoses.” SFF: What is your role in “�e Laramie Project?” MG: I am the director. It’s my �rst time ever directing. Well, that’s not true. I also did College Players’ Play-in-a-Day. But this is the �rst time where I’ve directed something where the rehearsal time was more than just 12 hours. SFF: What is “�e Laramie Project” about? MG: Most people our age vaguely remember that in 1998 there was a really high-pro�le hate crime that happened in Laramie, Wyoming. A gay college student named Matthew Shepard was brutally tortured and killed by two young men. �e play is written by Moises Kaufman and members of the Tectonic �eater Project. It uses real life interviews with the residents of Laramie. In our production, a group of ten actors become about 60 different characters. SFF: Why was it chosen? By whom? MG: I proposed the show to the PASJ department pretty late in the game. �e deadline for submitting cabaret proposals was approaching quickly. I had been thinking about doing this other show called “�e

MELISSA BARON Scene Editor �e Outside Lands music festival in Golden Gate Park recently announced their lineup for this year’s show taking place August 28 – 30. �e headliners are major as always: Pearl Jam, Dave Matthews Band, the Beastie Boys, the Black Eyed Peas, the Mars Volta, etc. �ere are

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Shawl” but when I realized that this was possibly the only time that I’d be able to direct something at USF, I knew I wanted to do something that was really meaningful to me. “�e Laramie Project” has always been in the back of my mind since I saw the HBO �lm version of it years ago. What is so great about this show is that so many people have at least some point of reference to it. It has become this really present thing in our culture where people are like “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of that.” or “My high school did that,” and that piques people’s curiosities immediately, and when they �nally watch it they feel like they are participating in this wider movement. �e show is incredibly written and even now, 11 years after Matthew’s death, is so relevant. We look at how far we’ve come in some ways and then there are other things that just make you stop and really re�ect on the fact that so many people are �lled with irrational hatred towards people they don’t understand. I feel like the gay marriage debate has really brought the issue of homosexuality in America out of the closet again, the same way that Matthew’s death did back in 1998. But now we are talking about a sort of institutionalized violence that is making a group of people into second-class citizens here in the states. And there are still hate crimes perpetrated all the time against LGBTQ people. Why isn’t there comprehensive legislation that protects LGBTQ people in all states? What’s going to happen to ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell?’ �e Defense of Marriage Act? �ere are people on death row in Baghdad simply for being LGBTQ. �e U.S. government has considerable sway in the region as it continues its national building agenda, so why hasn’t it intervened here? It is such a crucial point in history to be talking about these things again and I think it is good to honor the history of a play and event that was so instrumental in initiating this national discussion. SFF: What are your hopes for the performance? Both on a personal level, for the cast and in a greater sense of impact on the university/audience. MG: I hope that people will take a moment to think about violence in their own lives. One of my favorite lines in the show many other artists, both big and small, bringing their act to the biggest weekend in San Francisco. �is mixtape is to introduce you to some artists you may know and some others you may not to decide if it’s really worth forking out all your money for a ticket on a college budget. 1) “Big Dipper” by Built to Spill off of “�ere’s Nothing Wrong With Love” 2) “Wolf Like Me” by TV on the Radio off of “Return to Cookie Mountain” 3) “Squalor Victoria” by the National off of “Boxer”

happens when a Catholic priest tells two other characters that calling someone a ‘fag’ or a ‘dyke’ is violence. We forget the power of our words in shaping our community. With the recent allegations of sexual violence on our campus, I think we really have to take into consideration how our everyday interactions can build a climate that breeds violence. SFF: What was the rehearsing process? MG: We’ve rehearsed for three weeks, which is very short for this kind of production. SFF: How has the cast worked together? MG: �e cast has been absolutely incredible. Everyone has collaborated in a really open and honest way. �ey’ve built a safe environment, which has allowed people to take chances and grow immensely in a short amount of time. I’ve also really appreciated the candid discussions we’ve had about the issues at hand. Everyone is so well spoken and brings a unique perspective. �is play inevitably sparks a lot of emotions and dialogue, which is why we’re planning of having a talk back on both nights right after the show. SFF: What have been the challenges? MG: �e short time frame has been a very big challenge. It’s my �rst time directing which has been a little daunting, but I feel very supported by the wonderfully capable people around me. �e PASJ department has been extraordinarily helpful. �ey are really supportive of this effort, which has made all the difference.

�e press screening for “Gigantic” was, quite unsurprisingly, �lled mainly with jaded �lm critics and depressed journalists. All around me the talk was of impending unemployment, ruined dreams of retirement and bleeding stomach ulcers. �e most enthusiastic voices in the theater seemed to be the pair behind me as they put odds on which Bay Area theaters would be next to close. When “Gigantic” opened with a shot of rats drowning in an aquarium, I thought to myself, “I’m feeling this movie already.” �e rats were soon plucked out of the water, but the audience, unfortunately, was not treated so well. “Gigantic,” the debut �lm for director Matt Aselton, follows the story of Brian Wethersby (Paul Dano), a socially unambitious 28-year-old working in a mattress store in Brooklyn and dreaming of adopting a Chinese baby. One day, Harriet (Zooey Deschanel), a loopy girl who goes by “Happy,” walks in, and you can most likely conjecture what happens from there. As the pair enters into a tentative romance, Brian pursues his strange dream of adoption and Happy is forced to confront her life’s lack of direction. Deschanel is adorable as always, and Dano’s performance is decent enough, but most of the �lm’s better moments come from throwaway scenes involving the couples’ �nancially successful yet offbeat family members. John Goodman does an outstanding job playing Harriet’s wealthy father, and Jane Alexander makes a brief but respectable appearance as Brian’s mother. �e most impressive portion of the �lm is a one-second shot involving escaped lobsters crawling across a cabin �oor, but like many the �lm’s legitimately original scenes, this one is a marginal moment, quickly passed over. Although the aimless banter that �lls the �lm’s many tangential sequences sometimes comes off as trite and contrived, such scenes generally feel less forced than those that are focused on the main plot points. Indeed, the most plot-heavy stretches tend to feel obligatory and chore-like. Before being somewhat sloppily tied together at the end, the romantic thread of the story and the adoption thread are not really intertwined. �ere are stretches of the �lm where the baby issue is seem-

ingly dropped altogether and it is actually a bit jarring when it reemerges. And why has Brian wanted to adopt a Chinese baby for as long as he can remember? We never �nd out, but then we never really care either. A more annoying unanswered question arises from the �lm’s major subplot, involving an imaginary homeless man (Zach Gali�anakis) that regularly appears and assaults the Dano character. At �rst this �gure seems to imply that the �lm will be displaying some sort of social awareness - does the homeless man represent Brian’s upper-class guilt, or perhaps a fear of destitution? Exactly what the imaginary homeless man is meant to suggest is never made clear, but one can be quite certain that it is not either of the aforementioned possibilities or anything else quite so interesting. It should be said that the �lm as a whole, and most notably the Wetherby family trip into the woods in search of psychedelic mushrooms, is quite beautifully shot. Occasional almost-but-not-really-surreal �ourishes keep things mildly interesting, even if they serve no real purpose other than to distract from the �lm’s lack of a strong overall vision. �e more whimsical moments and narrative detours show some promise coming from a �rst time director, but unfortunately these scenes are the ones that ultimately muddle the �lm beyond repair. �e �lm probably intends to make some sort of statement about family, maturity and privilege, but I would have to embellish and exaggerate if I were to describe it in any kind of articulate manner. �ere are enough of the right ingredients �oating around to make this �lm curious and occasionally humorous, but they are not coherent enough to make it satisfying. For me, the highlight of the �lm came about an hour in when a drunken lady in the back row of the theater vomited on the unsuspecting viewer next to her and an extended ruckus ensued. I was most amused by the real life humor occurring inside the theater, rather than the carefully scripted type on the screen. While “Gigantic” really does try to capture the common yet rare charm of everyday life, it too often comes off as contrived in comparison to the real thing. If you were planning see this movie on account of Zooey Deschanel’s skinnydipping scene, don’t bother. You will most likely be disappointed.

SFF: As you get closer to the show, how are you feeling? MG: �e closer we get to opening night the more anxious I am to share this with our community. I feel like we’ve been holding it to ourselves for a while now, and I’m excited to �ll in that missing link, which is an audience that we can engage and hopefully transform. SFF: When does the performance run? Where? How can people get tickets? MG: Admission is 100 percent free. April 17 and 18, Studio �eater on Lone Mountain. �e show time is 8 p.m. for both nights. 4) “Good Ol’ Fashion Nightmare” by Matt & Kim off of “Grand” 5) “Angela” by John Vanderslice off of “Pixel Revolt” 6) “Heart Cooks Brain” by Modest Mouse off of “�e Lonesome Crowded West” 7) “St. Augustine” by Band of Horses off of “Everything All the Time” 8) “Fools” by the Dodos off of “Visiter” 9) “Running, Returning” by Akron/Family off of “Akron/Family” 10) “Agoraphobia” by Deerhunter off of “Microcastle”

Courtesy of First Independent Pictures

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APRIL 16, 2009

New Thermals and Hold Steady Albums Miss the Mark

Live rock albums tend to follow a general formula: �rst there is the “intro” opening track that consists of instruments being messed around with to produce some sudden attention-grabbing noise, followed by several songs picked from the particular band’s catalogue, a cover or B-side song if the listener is lucky, and �nally the last song of the set that is usually drawn out by some bland jamming. “A Positive Rage,” the new live album by �e Hold Steady, follows most of that live album format: there’s the 23-second long intro, 15 songs from the band’s decent studio career and an 11-minute closing song. �e live album was recorded in

October 2006 while the band was touring for their third full length album, “Boys and Girls in America.” �e two best songs on this live album just happen to be the two best songs off that album: “Chips Ahoy” and “You Can Make Him Like You.” �ese two songs are strong indicators of the point in �e Hold Steady’s career when the band transitioned into a cleaner studio sound and started making music that was catchier and generally more cheery than on their �rst two full-length albums. �e Hold Steady originally started out as the band Lifter Puller, and their �rst two albums, “Almost Killed Me” and “Separation Sunday,” owed more to Lifter Puller’s rough musical and lyrical style than the �st pumping “Boys and Girls in America” and their 2008 album “Stay Positive.” Not including any songs off “Stay Positive,” save for the slow “Lord, I’m Discouraged,” was a poor choice on the band’s part because every song on that album is such a brilliant bar band stunner. �e Hold Steady can’t be faulted for this because “Stay Positive” wouldn’t come out until two years after this live recording. For a band that’s known for their fall-down-drunk performances and the feel-good presence of frontman Craig Finn, �e Hold Steady sound �at on “A Positive Rage,” but maybe it’s the live album formula to be blamed and not Finn and company.

After releasing their equally sprawling and well-contained gem “�e Body, �e Blood, and �e Machine” nearly three years ago, Portland band �e �ermals are back with a decent new album that unsurprisingly falls a little short in quality from the last album. With “�e Body, �e Blood, and �e Machine,” �e �ermals intelligently and often sarcastically used direct New and Old Testament references to explore major topical issues and feelings that were in the air at that album’s time of release. �e band’s new album “Now We Can See” released on their new record label

Kill Rock Stars (after �ve years working on Seattle’s Sub Pop Records) still retains �e �ermals’ speedy punk riffs and energetic drums and bass lines, but without the allegorical wit shiningly presented on their last album. Songs on the new album including “Liquid In, Liquid Out” show that the band can make a song with the same structure and style as early Weezer, but that sounds bigger and a little better. �e band certainly deserves credit for being able to put out albums that sound so full when there are actually only three members in the band, founding members guitarist/singer Hutch Harris, bassist Kathy Foster and new drummer Westin Glass (formerly of Seattle’s Say Hi). Songs like “We Were Sick” are clever and entertaining: “We were sick/ Sick in the brain/ Too young to kill/ Too old to contain.” �e �ermals write songs using “we” and speaking for the listener more than in the �rst person singular common in lyrics, but they still make songs that sound deeply personal. �ough “Now We Can See” isn’t anything to get excited about, �e �ermals are still one of a few post-punk bands that are making music that is both loud and fast as well as bright and a bit amiable.

Review by ADEN JORDAN Staff Writer

New Indie Film Falls Flat Mysteries of Pittsburgh proves disappointing

Review by LEIGH CUEN Staff Writer

C

oming-of-age drama “�e Mysteries of Pittsburgh” is based on a novel by the Pulitzer Prize-winning author Michael Chabon (“�e Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay”) and features a cast of indie-�lm veterans, including Sienna Miller (“Factory Girl”) and Peter Sarsgaard (“Garden State”). From the opening sequence, the deliberate awkwardness of protagonist Art Buckstein ( Jon Foster) is neither endearing nor comical. Instead, the dreary character appears simply exhausted with his wit. In his monotonous, melancholy whisper Art proceeds to narrate an erratic story that fails to develop its characters and divulges the twisted and bleak con�icts of life without offering moviegoers any tangible catharsis. Jon Foster’s inexcusably �at portrayal of the main character would have rendered the �lm itself inconsequential. �e poor acting combined with the �lm’s contrived dialogue and lack-luster climax made “�e Mysteries of Pittsburgh” the single worst thing to happen to American indie cinema since tween girls started ogling Zach Braff. �e plot is driven by a trite and stereotypical slew of supporting characters. From the generic “gangster” father �gure played by Nick Nolte (“Paris, Je T’aime”), who delivers his handful of cliché threats and grunts with forcible gruffness, to the hysterical ‘Book Barn’ manager, played by Mena Suvari (“American Pie”), who scathingly retorts “I cut you out of my heart!” after a monologue assessing her relationship to Art. �e �lm centers around the sexual tension between the Art, drunken beauty Jane Bellweather (Miller), and her bisexual boyfriend Cleveland (Sargaard). Art, a bored college graduate/son of a mobster,

becomes Cleveland’s unwitting sidekick after meeting Jane at a party and going out with her to eat pie (literally). Cleveland appears at the Book Barn where Art works the next day, and with a motorcycle helmet concealing his face and hair, demands Art climb on the back of his motorcycle and ride with him to an unspeci�ed location. Art complies, fearing the unnamed man is an enemy of his father’s. From that point on the �lms follows the unlikely trio as they embark upon quasisuburban-adventures such as heavy drinking, attending punk rock concerts and wearing tuxedos to a shirt-and-tie event. �e �lm never clari�es the reasoning behind the trio’s oddball friendship. Nor does it accessibly develop the tormented love which later drives Art to sleep with both Jane and Cleveland after the couple undergoes a tumultuous break-up. �e rest of the movie is merely a parade of tragedy and heartbreak set in unlikely scenarios with characters that audience members are still struggling to comprehend, much less sympathize with. After being denounced by Jane for sleeping with Cleveland and then watching Cleveland climb to the top of an abandoned steel mill and then jump to his death, the protagonist does eventually “come of age.” �e �lm ends with Art confronting his father and setting out on his own for the �rst time. Unfortunately, viewers may �nd themselves too exhausted to care after suffering all of the stilted emotions and convoluted plot twists of each character. �e only praise rightfully attributed to “�e Mysteries of Pittsburgh” is that the �lm contains a handful of scenes that showcase the natural and gritty beauty of Pittsburgh. While the movie’s soundtrack features a couple of soft rock indie gems, the �lm itself is little more than a headache-inducing waste of time and effort by a handful of talented contributors.

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JONNY HECHEMA Staff Writer Last week brought the �rst half of my top 10 N64 games; in case you need a reminder, the list started off with “Mischief Makers,” then “GoldenEye 007,” “Jet Force Gemini,” and “�e Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time,” ending with “Mario Party” at number 6. Now, let’s go ahead and jump right into the second half of my top picks for the N64! 5. Star Fox 64 Do a barrel roll! “Star Fox 64” holds a special place as the �rst N64 game I ever owned, and it still manages to maintain itself as one of the most memorable in so many aspects. A remake of the SNES original, “Star Fox 64” is the story of Fox McCloud, an ace �ghter pilot and leader of team Star Fox that’s enlisted to defeat the evil scientist Andross, who has launched an attack on the entire planetary system of Lylat. �e game consists of 15 actionpacked levels that put you behind the sticks of a futuristic space �ghter called the Arwing, a highly maneuverable tank known as the Landmaster and a battle-ready submarine that goes by the Blue Marine. �e memorable story, the perfectly designed levels, the high level of replayability, the competitive multiplayer, the hilarious and yet �tting voice acting – there are just so many great things about “Star Fox 64” that I can’t even mention them all. Go play it and see for yourself. 4. Banjo-Kazooie When his younger sister is captured by the evil witch Gruntilda, a lazy bear named Banjo and his best friend, the loudmouthed bird Kazooie, must make their way through Gruntilda’s Lair in order to get her back. “Banjo-Kazooie” is a 3D platformer much akin to “Super Mario 64” in that you traverse multiple worlds spanning different themes and complete various tasks in order to collect items that unlock more worlds and bring you closer to the game’s end. However, it’s the personal touches added by the game’s developers, Rare, that make “Banjo-Kazooie” stand apart from other platformers. Curious worlds, quirky yet catchy songs, tight controls, enjoyable gameplay and ridiculously humorous dialogue all make this one a great pick. 3. Paper Mario I’ll just go ahead and admit it: I’ve never really had the patience to enjoy many

San Francisco Foghorn

RPGs. �e generic plot stereotypes (protagonist with a mysterious/tragic past, anyone?), the turn-based battles that never made me feel like I was doing much of anything, the time wasted grinding on enemies just to get strong enough to move on – none of it ever appealed to me. �at’s what makes games like “Paper Mario”, along with its SNES predecessor “Super Mario RPG”, a godsend. “Paper Mario” is an offbeat RPG depicting the story of Mario, who must once again save Princess Peach from the clutches of Bowser. Other than its clever 2D-characters-in-a3D-world design, familiar characters and funny exchanges, “Paper Mario’s” greatest asset is its battle system, which manages to keep things fun and interactive. Instead of just picking an attack and an enemy to use it on, “Paper Mario” gives you the option of timing your attacks correctly for more damage. On the �ip side, you can also try to time your defenses in order to take less damage, allowing you to take a much more active role in your survival throughout the game. Because of this, “Paper Mario” is enjoyable from start to �nish. 2. Conker’s Bad Fur Day Yet another platformer developed by Rare, “Conker’s Bad Fur Day” stands apart from other platformers on a level that even “Banjo-Kazooie” can’t touch. A little back story is necessary for this one – in the early stages of development, Rare feared that this game, starring a cheery squirrel named Conker, would be forgotten or blended in with the other platformers that starred cute animals. �at’s when Rare rehauled the entire game, and the result was a platformer like no other – raunchy, vulgar, offensive and downright brilliant. Yes, “Conker’s Bad Fur Day” is quite possibly the most mature game you’ll ever play on the N64 with its nudity, mature situations and beyond-excessive swearing. After a long night of drinking, Conker gets lost while trying to return home, and �nding his way back turns into a long-winded adventure that parodies multiple genres and movies. �is game has more variation in gameplay than any other platformer I’ve played, and you can’t help but love the situations that Conker manages to stumble into. �is variation spills into the game’s multiplayer as well, making “Conker’s Bad Fur Day” an amazing game for a lazy day at home or a party with friends. 1. �e Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask A sequel of sorts to “Ocarina of Time,”

“Majora’s Mask” tells the story of a young Link searching through the forest to �nd an old friend before his ocarina is stolen and he is transformed into a deku scrub. Link makes it out of the forest and winds up in a land called Termina, where a wandering salesman helps him transform back in exchange for Link helping to retrieve a mysterious mask stolen from the salesman – Majora’s Mask. As this is going on, the antagonist of the game, possessed by Majora’s Mask, forces the moon to rush towards Termina, eventually colliding into the land after 3 days. �e �rst odd feature of “Majora’s Mask” is the in-game clock, which displays 72 hours of time until the moon collides with Termina and the game ends. After retrieving the Ocarina, however, you can play a song that returns you to the �rst day at the expense of losing some of your items and any money you haven’t deposited, and all your progress reverts back. �is proves to be a nuisance at �rst, but isn’t a problem once you get used to the rhythm of things. �e time system sets the stage for the game’s amazing character development, as all of the game’s secondary characters are living their own lives, doing different things at different places based on the time and day. Apart from the main quest, all of these characters have problems that Link can help to rectify. �is emphasis on side quests provides an interesting in-game parallel to the idea that “Majora’s Mask” really is kind of just a side quest to “Ocarina of Time,” a fact proven further by the game’s working title – “Zelda Gaiden”, with ‘gaiden’ being Japanese for ‘side story.’ �e game is also �lled with 20+ masks that aid Link, either transforming him or giving him new abilities and traits. �ese two game mechanics drive “Majora’s Mask” at its core and mold it into what it is: a truly brilliant game with a dark atmosphere that explores the concepts of time, life and death in its narration of a land fated towards doom. Well, there it is – my top 10. Of course, there were so many games that didn’t make the list that it would be a crime to not call them out as honorable mentions: “Mario Kart 64,” “Super Smash Brothers,” “Kirby 64: �e Crystal Shards,” “Perfect Dark,” “1080 Snowboarding,” “Super Mario 64,” “Diddy Kong Racing” and “Pokemon Snap”. Sorry guys, better luck next time. �is chapter has closed, and so another one must open. Keep reading next week as we take a look at Sega’s �nal foray into the console business, the Dreamcast!

Play in a Day Keeps Audience Laughing

Hunter Patterson/Foghorn

The Colonel, played by Amy Berman, holds a knife to the throat of Anne, played by Seren Sehota, while Emanuel, played by Justin Jairam, looks on during Play in a Day.

Review by HUNTER PATTERSON Staff Writer USF’s College Players hosted the original play “�e Great Debacle: Angels See �ee to �y Resting Place,” in this semester’s Play in a Day last weekend. �e play was confusing but amusing to the two dozen people who turned up to witness the CP tradition. As the name implies, Play in a Day is an event where a play is created in one day by students. Participants were divided into two teams, one to write a script and the other to act it out. �e writing team started in on the work at 8 p.m. on Friday and was

required to hand over a script to the acting team at 8 a.m. the next day, at which point the actors had 12 hours to learn the script and rehearse the performance in time for an 8 p.m. Saturday showing. �is year’s script was 12 pages long and the performance lasted about 25 minutes. �is year’s play was hard to follow, but was �lled with some good one-liners that kept the audience laughing. �e plot followed loosely that of the “Saw” movies, where victims are placed in a scenario where they must do gruesome things to escape a maze that a crazed villain has constructed for them. In “�e Great Debacle,” seven random people are drawn together

and the last one surviving “wins” and is allowed to go free. At the end of the game the last remaining victim is Anne, played by Seren Sehota, who realizes she is actually in Guantanamo Bay (see, I said it was confusing). �e play featured four writers and �ve actors and was directed by junior Deidre Doyle. All of the participants are USF students and many of them are familiar faces in USF’s theater community. Senior Justin Jairam, who played Emanuel, said, “Play In A Day is a really intense 12-hour process that is comedic and very rewarding. Since it is written and directed by students it captures the student perspective.” Jairam explained that many of the writers’ own backgrounds and experiences get worked into the script. For example, there were lots of references to Mormon culture because one of the writers was Mormon, he said. Junior Isaac Samuelson was on the writing team and pulled an all-nighter working on the script. “�e night was a blur of caffeine and pizza,” he said. “It’s a lot of fun; I didn’t have any trouble staying up.” Junior Brita �ompson said she thought the play was kind of confusing but found the whole experience amusing. “I never thought I would see so many puns about sock puppets” she said. “And I didn’t know I was in for a play about hobo sexuality,” she said in reference to a theme and song about homosexual transients in the performance. Play In A Day happens almost every semester and is hosted by College Players. It is open to all students and no experience is required.

7

SPORTS

San Francisco Foghorn

APRIL 16, 2009

Track Sets Many Personal Records at UC Davis Woody Wilson Invitational

From College to Pro

ERIKA HEYER Columnist

Ever wonder what it’s like for a college baseball player who will be chosen as a number one draft pick for the MLB? �ere is no mistake that these players have exceptional talent, but the 2009 draft, the media, and fans might have taken these college players into the show before their name is even called in June. �e draft pick that seems to be on everyone’s list as the �rst name to be called and the most promising is San Diego State’s (No. 21 in the country) Stephen Strasburg. �e 6’5” junior right hander has a fastball of 102mph and an 80mph change-up. He was the �rst college pitcher to be elected to play for the U.S. Olympic Team and pitched against Cuba and the Netherlands. �e pitcher is without a doubt the number one draft pick and is getting the public’s attention. Strasburg’s coach Tony Gwynn commented to USA Today saying Strasburg’s publicity has “been a strain. He’s only 20, and the guy can’t even get a burger. �e guy can’t sit in the library. He’s got collectors hanging outside the ballpark, trying to get his autograph so they can put it on eBay. People are building him up to be this messiah, but in this game they love to build you up, just so they can tear you down. Can’t we just let him enjoy his junior year here before everyone gets their piece of him?” Gwynn, the Hall of Famer, has a point. �e fame and the glory do not last forever. Strasburg should be proud of his 17.5 strikeouts per game, his 6-0 record, and his 1.49 ERA, but when he leaves San

Diego those numbers are not likely to stay the same against hitters like David Ortiz, Derek Jeter, and Evan Longoria. According to the past 13 pitchers who were picked number one in the MLB draft only one had an ERA under 3.9 (David Price, Tampa Bay Rays, 2007 pick) and only 3 won more than 100 games. Brien Taylor, the number one pick in 1991 for the New York Yankees, did not even play a game. �ese players are getting a taste of fame and are hearing about offers from the pros talking about millions of dollars for their signing bonuses, but these players have to keep it in prospective. Baseball is the hardest sport to make it. Some players get stuck in the minors for years never getting the call up. Others get hurt and never get the chance to show what they have to the world. College is a time to enjoy your time left when the love of the game is what drives you rather than your salary and the fans who want to see you play can actually see you in a crowd of 2,000 people rather than a crowd of 50,000. Strasburg should enjoy his last months playing with his teammates and playing for a small crowd because in just a few short months his entire world will change. �e fans will be fewer, his teammates will be older and he will not be the number one pitcher in the league. Hopefully Strasburg and the other number one picks can anticipate that their professional careers may not mirror their collegiate careers. But what these players do know is that hard work and talent can pay off, maybe for these players it can pay off big with a successful and long career in the majors.

Courtesy of Margaret M. Gallagher Easter weekend ended with some outstanding performances from the USF Track and Field teams at the UC Davis Woody Wilson Invite. (Above) Steven Garboden won his section of the men s 5000m race.

Lakers And Cavaliers Looking Strong NBA: Continued from page eight tons. MVP to be LeBron James will lead his team to the sweep. �e Cavs have been one of the best teams all year and they will dominate the Pistons on both sides of the ball. LeBron James is too much to contain, especially with all the shooters the Cavs have for him to pass to. Mo Williams has been on �re all year and he will continue it in the playoffs. �e Cavs are too good especially for the Pistons, who have struggled since trading Billups. �e Celtics versus Bulls series could be the series to watch for an upset. With Kevin Garnett banged up the Celtics are vulnerable. He is their leader and best defensive player and without him they are a different team. �e Bulls are young and athletic just like the Hawks were last year. And last year the Hawks took the Celtics to seven games, so don’t think the Bulls can’t do the same. Although the Bulls are dangerous I still think the Celtics experience and defense will win them the series in six games. �e Magic shouldn’t have any trouble against the 76ers especially after the loss of �adeus Young. Young is a dangerous player and the 76ers will miss his athleticism and scoring ability. �e Magic are very dangerous, especially because they

shoot the three ball so well. Dwight Howard commands a lot of attention down low, which opens up room for their shooters to make wide-open shots. Dwight Howard, Rashard Lewis and company will dominate the 76ers and they will sweep the series. With Dwayne Wade playing like a MVP, the Heat are a dangerous team. Although the Heat don’t have much talent around Wade, he has led this team back to the playoffs after winning only 15 games last year. He makes everyone better and has the skills to take over any game. �e Hawks have played very well all year and have talent at every position but they lack depth, which is important in the playoffs. �e Heat on the other hand are young, athletic and explosive plus D-Wade is unstoppable. Because of this I like the Heat to win in six games. In the championship game the Cavaliers will take on the Magic with the chance to advance to the �nals. I really like both of these teams but the Cavs seemed destined to make it to the �nals. LeBron James is having a historic season and he is playing better basketball than anybody. Along with all those shooters and the size of Ilgauskas, the Cavs should be able to pull out the victory but it won’t be easy. �e Magic have played great all season

and they are championship caliber. But the Cavs play great defense and they will do a god job of containing the three point shots of the Magic. Dwight Howard will dominate down low but for the Magic to be successful they have to make threes. Relying on the threes is dangerous and against a team like the Cavaliers, it will be tough to get off open shots. �e Cavaliers will win in seven games and play the Lakers in the �nal. In the beginning of the year I predicted the Lakers to play the Cavaliers in the �nals and they have been the two best teams in the league all year. Although the Cavaliers have the best record and home court advantage, the Lakers will win the series. Bynum should be fully healthy by then and his size will be the difference in this series. With Bynum, Odom and Gasol, the Lakers should dominate the rebounding battle. During the season the Lakers swept the Cavaliers, winning both games by at least 10 points. In both those games the Lakers did a great job of containing LeBron. �e Lakers have to play great defense or else they will lose. But I think they are hungry after getting to the �nals last year. With Bynum back, the great bench play and Kobe’s leadership they should win in seven games.

8

San Francisco Foghorn

SPORTS

APRIL 16, 2009

Women s Tennis Splits Weekend Games to End Season MATT STEINBACH Sports Editor

Melissa Stihl/Foghorn

Jennifer Lee-Heisner serves the ball during a match in Golden Gate Park earlier this season.

Over the weekend, the women’s tennis team posted a 1-1 record, winning their match over long time rival Santa Clara 6-1 on Friday before they lost a tough match against number 65th Nevada 4-3 on Saturday. �ese games signify the end of their regular season in which they posted a 9-8 overall record and a 3-2 record in the WCC, where they �nished 2nd in the league. Against Santa Clara, the Dons rallied back from a 1-0 de�cit, after they lost two out of their three doubles matches. �e only doubles win came from the duo of Cecilia Gratian and Jennifer-Lee Heisner, who beat Santa Clara’s team of senior Stephanie Galainena and sophomore Ashley Pane 8-4. After failing behind 1-0 because the other doubles teams had lost, the Dons swept the singles matches. Number 60 ranked Heisner won her number one match handily as she defeated Galainena 6-0, 6-1. Mylene Martin also easily won her match against Kacie Wagner 6-0, 63. �e Dons won the rest of the singles matches and this led them to their 6-1 win over Santa Clara. On Saturday the Dons lost a tough battle against number 65th ranked University of Nevada. Nevada also won two or the three doubles matches against USF. With these two victories, Nevada had a 1-0 lead. Unlike their match against Santa Clara, USF was not able to sweep the singles matches to triumph for the victory. USF split the singles matches against Nevada, which gave the Wolf pack the 4-3 victory. Against a ranked opponent the Dons played well, narrowly losing the match. With the conclusion of the season the Lady Dons will look to play well in the WCC tournament, which starts April 17 and goes through April 19. With the 11 �nish the Dons �nished the year on a good note, especially because they barely lost their last contest. In fact they had a strong chance to win the match but they

could not prevail. �e Dons will open the tournament as the number two seed. Hopefully the seeding will give the Dons an advantage in the tournament. A win in the tournament would be a great end to a successful season. With only two players leaving from the current team, seniors

Mylee Martin and Sarah Oudomvilay, the young Dons look promising for next year. �e whole team consists of underclassmen, three sophomores and three freshmen. Watch out for the Lady Dons next year, as this young, talented team continues to grow.

Melissa Stihl/Foghorn

Sophomore Jennifer Lee-Heisner (left) takes a break between sets with her doubles partner sophomore Cecilia Gratian.

A Look Ahead to NBA Playoffs Men s Tennis Wins Final Home Match on Senior Day

MATT STEINBACH Sports Editor As the NBA season winds down the focus now shifts on the playoffs and the MVP race. �e seedings for each conference are essentially set so now we can focus on the matchups. Out west the Lakers easily earned the top seed as they �nished 10 games above the second seed Denver Nuggets. In the �rst round the Lakers would play the Utah Jazz, who they are 1-1 against this season so far. �e Jazz are a scary team with the all-star tandem of Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer. Along with Boozer they have great shooters like Mehmet Okur and Kyle Korver. �ey also have athletic wing players in C.J. Miles, Ronnie Brewer and Andrei Kirilenko. �e Jazz are a great rebounding team largely due to the abilities of Boozer and Paul Millsap and the athleticism they have on the wings. Despite their rebounding abilities and talent, the Lakers are too much for them. No one on the team can match up with Kobe Bryant. �e Lakers are more talented at every other position besides point guard and the return of Andrew Bynum greatly strengthens their frontcourt and starting line-up. �ey also have the best bench in the league led by Lamar Odom, Jordan Farmar and Sasha Vujacic. I see the Lakers wining in 5 games. In the seven versus two matchup the Denver Nuggets will play the Dallas Mavericks. Although the Mavericks have played well lately, they are an inconsistent

team, especially on defense. �e Nuggets have been on �re since they acquired Chauncey Billups, who has solidi�ed their defense and offense while adding a much needed veteran leader. �e Nuggets impress me and I think they will win this matchup because of their offensive �repower with Carmelo Anthony, Billups and J.R. Smith. �ey are just too good for the Mavericks. Nuggets will win the series in �ve. Now in the six versus three matchup between the San Antonio Spurs and New Orleans Hornets I see the Hornets winning this series. Although the Hornets are the sixth seed, they are the better team. �e injury to Manu Ginobili is really going to hurt the Spurs and without him they are a different team. �e Hornets are going to run all over the old Spurs, and win the series in six games. I think the Spurs will win two just because they are experienced and know how to win in the playoffs. �e Portland Trailblazers and Houston Rockets will battle in the four versus �ve matchup. �is series is really a tossup because both teams have a lot of talent and they matchup well against each other. During the season the Rockets won the series 2-1 but every game was fairly close. If the young Blazers are going to win then they have to control Yao Ming down low. Greg Oden and Joel Przybilla have to do a solid job defending Yao Ming or else the Blazers will lose this series. �e Blazers are young and inexperienced but the Rockets always have trouble coming out of the �rst round. With that said, I think Houston’s defense will be too much for the Blazers and the Rockets will advance in seven games. In the championship game the Lakers should beat the Nuggets in six games. Although the Nuggets have been great this season, the Lakers have played the best basketball all year out West. Kobe and company are determined to win the championship after last years embarrassing loss to the Celtics. �ey will reach the �nals for the second straight year. In the Eastern Conference, the Cleveland Cavaliers should easily win their �rst round matchup against the Detroit PisNBA: Continued on Page 7

MATT STEINBACH Sports Editor

�e Dons’ tennis team won its �nal home match of the 2009 season 5-2 on Saturday April 11 against UC Santa Cruz. �e contest was the last home match for seniors Mitch del Rosario, Torin Ching and Tommy Tu, who is currently ranked 103rd nationally. Each senior had nice outings, as they all won their matches. Ching and Rosario combined for the top spot in their doubles match, getting the win 8-6 over UC Santa Cruz players, Jared Kamel and Marc Vartabedian. �e senior duo played a great match and narrowly prevailed for the victory. �is year del Rosario has a singles record of 7-11 and a doubles record of 4-12. For his career so far, he has an overall record of 31-43. His most successful season was last year where as a junior he posted his only winning season at 16-10. Ching has a 0-1 singles record and a 410 doubles record for the season. For his career, Ching has a 27-36 doubles record and a 9-15 singles record. Tommy Tu also won both of his matches for the day. He played in doubles with sophomore Jacob Hartwig against UC Santa Cruz players Max Ortiz and Colin Mark-Griffin. �e USF duo dominated the match and easily won the contest 8-2. Tu also dominated his singles match, winning straight sets against Max LibertyPoint, 6-0, 6-2. Tu has had a very strong senior season; he leads the team with a 16-7 overall record. He also has a 14-6 record in doubles matches. Tu has also been ranked nationally several different times throughout the season. So far for his career he has a 73-42 record. His most successful seasons were his freshman and sophomore years. In his freshman season, Tu posted an overall record of 20-12. For his sophomore year he had an overall record of 22-11. �e Dons season will be over on Wednesday, after they travel to nearby Stanford for their �nal matches of the regular season. After that the Dons will enter the WCC tournament, which goes from April 17 to April 19. USF is currently in 5th place with a 5-

10 overall record and a 3-2 record in the WCC. �is means the Dons will enter the tournament as the 5th seed and take on 4th seeded San Diego in the �rst round. Hopefully the Dons will be able to pull of

a few wins in the tournament. �e Dons didn’t have the most successful season but the careers of their seniors’ have been solid and they will be remembered.

Courtesy of USF Athletics

Senior Mitch del Rosario prepares to return a volley in a match earlier this season.

TEAM

Men’s Tennis WCC Standings OVERALL

WCC

Pepperdine

14-8

1-0

Portland

12-7

2-0

Saint Mary’s

7-14

4-2

San Diego

7-13

1-1

San Francisco

5-10

3-2

Gonzaga

5-10

0-4

Santa Clara

4-9

0-2

Loyola Marymount

5-15

2-2