Family Violence

FAMILY VIOLENCE

ANGELA DETTER

JANUARY 13, 1987

Outline I.

Family Violence A. History B. Reasons 1. Initiation 2. Continuance

C. D. E.

Abusers Types 1. Definition 2. Examples Possible Actions

II.

Spouse Abuse A. History B. Victims C. Abusers D. Types 1. Definition 2. Examples E. Possible Actions

IV.

Abuse of Elders A. History B. Victims C. Abusers D. Types 1. Definition 2. Examples E. Possible Actions

III.

Child Abuse A. History B. Victims

V.

Sibling Abuse

VI.

Analysis

Those who study or work with Family Violence will better understand family violence if they consider the problems and circumstances that cause the violence to occur. Most studies are not completely accurate because the studies only involve those people who have sought help to stop the violence or who have resorted to their own tactics of stopping the violence. To understand why violence occurs each individual abuser and victim must be examined. Violence in families is as individual as the people involved. Most victims who resort to their own tactics are not aware of their options; therefore, they may do something illegal and/or unexcusable. Sometimes, these acts are carried out because there is/was no other options they could take. Family Violence is one of the most frequently occurring and unreported crimes of today. “The violent occurrences between spouses, parents and children, and siblings have been described as symptomatic of the breakdown of social control in contemporary America.” (Peter C. Kratcoski, “Attacking Family Violence,” USA Today 114 no. 2484 (September 1985), p. 98.) “The family is the most loving and supportive human group or institution, yet it is also by far the most violent except for the police or the military during wars.” (Sandra Stencel, “Violence In The Family,” Editorial Research Reports (April 27, 1979), p. 308.) Professor Murray A. Straus at a meeting of the American Psychological Association in Toronto, August 29, 1978, said, “Violence in the home is a far more serious problem than violence in the streets, in the classroom, or anywhere else.” Violence has always been present in American family life. It was tolerated and condoned until recently where family violence is thought as immoral and unlawful. (Kratcoski, p. 98.) “In general, the rule in the family is that if someone is doing wrong and ‘won’t listen to reason,’ it is OK to hit.” (Stencel, p. 316.) Factors that contribute to family violence are: (1) selfish, self-serving attitude, and actions of adults, (2) lack of social involvement, (3) inability of churches and other community institutions to strongly influence intra-family relations, and (4) new freedom demanded by women. (Kratcoski, p. 98.)

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FAMILY VIOLENCE

ANGELA DETTER

JANUARY 13, 1987

Although family violence occurs in all regions, races, religions, incomes, education levels, and population rates, Sociologists Murray A. Straus, Richard Gelles and Suzanne Steinmetz discovered that there are some differences. Southerners have the lowest child abuse rate while the Midwest has the highest rates of child and husband abuses. Sibling and wife abuse is common in the rural areas and cities, although, areas of over a million in population have the highest rate of child and spouse abuse. Jews have the lowest rates of abuse in all forms except in husband abuse where the Protestants had the lowest. Minority religions (not Catholics, Protestant or Jewish) have the highest rate of all types of abuse. Family Violence occurs most often among racial minorities, although, blacks are more abusive toward their wives. Spouse abuse is lowest among white families while sibling violence is lowest among black families. Parental violence is the same among black and white families. Women with some college education or High School dropouts and men with some college education have the most violence among siblings. The most violent males and mothers are High School graduates, although, the most violent wives are High School dropouts. The most violent income group is those with $5,999 or less and the least violent being $20,000 or more. While blue-collar workers have the highest rate of spouse and child abuse, blue-collar women have the least sibling violence and blue-collar men have the most sibling violence. (Murray A. Straus, Richard Gelles and Suzanne Steinmetz, “Violence; The Wars in American Homes” Atlanta Journal & Constitution (May 11, 1980), p. 2-A.) There are many types of family violence including Spouse abuse, Child abuse, abuse of Elders, and Sibling abuse. There are also many variations of these types of abuses. Although some cases may belong in each variation, every case is as individual as the families involved. There are two main types of spouse abuse: wife and husband. Wife abuse is the most known about of spouse abuse cases. Wife abuse has been around every since man has believed that “... a married man should be able to do just what he liked after marriage... He can and must row with his wife, hit her or lay down the law.” (A. Whitehead, ‘Sexual antagonism in Herefordshire’ in Barker and Allen (eds.) (1976) p. 193.) Included in the British Common Law was a section regulating wifebeating. (This was the first of its kind in the world.) The law was created as an example of compassionate reform when it modified the weapons a husband could legally use... The new law stipulated that the reasonable instrument be only ‘a rod no thicker than his thumb.’ (Terry Davidson, “Wifebeating: A Recurring Phenomenon Throughout History,” in Battered Women: A Psychosociological Study of Domestic Violence, ed. Maria Roy (New York: VanNostrand Reinhold, 1977), p. 18.) Other contributing factors are man’s beliefs that: (1) men’s status must and should be higher than women’s; (2) men who are not dominant and are not physically more powerful than women are in the same way not masculine and adequate; and (3) physical power and coercion are valid means of solving disputes in the family or in any other interpersonal relationships. (Bonnie Carlson, “Battered Women and their Assailants,” Social Work 22 (November 1977): p.455-60.) These factors also account for why husband abuse is the “most unreported crime... Most men are too ashamed to admit they’ve been beaten by their wives.” (Stencel, p. 311.) Some interesting facts presented by Richard Gelles in his article “No Place To Go: The Social Dynamics of Marital Violence’ are:

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FAMILY VIOLENCE

ANGELA DETTER

JANUARY 13, 1987

The typical location of marital violence is the kitchen. The bathroom is the most frequently occupied room. The bedroom is the most likely place for a spouse to be killed. Here conflicts often occur at night, when there is no place to go. Marital couples most often engage in physical conflicts between 8:00pm and 11:30pm. Dinnertime is the most dangerous meal because of frustration buildup. Weekends are more conductive to domestic violence than weekdays. Holidays such as Christmas or New Year’s Eve are notable “trouble times” Victims and abusers alike most likely were victims and/or witnesses of abuse when a child. They have learned abuse and believe that it is right. There are many types of husband and wife abuse; including marital rape, verbal abuse, spouse battering, and spouse neglect. Marital rape is like stranger rape except it occurs between husband and wife. It may be either forcible or nonforcible. Nonforcible rape happens when the spouse feels that it is his/her marital duty. “The typical marital rapist ... feels when he wants her, she should be glad, or at least willing; if she isn’t, he has the right to force her.” (Morton Hunt, ‘Legal Rape,’ Family Circle (January 9, 1979) p. 38.) This is also true if the female feels this way toward her spouse. Verbal abuse occurs when a spouse threatens, or degrades his/her spouse. One woman replied, “He would call me all sorts of names: ... He’d make me feel like the lowest piece of ---(trash) on earth.(William A. Stacey and Anson Shupe, The Family Secret, (Massachusetts: Beacon Press, 1983), p.52.) Spouse battering occurs when a spouse causes harm to his/her spouse. One victim recalls: My face was so swollen from being punched that I was not recognizable. I lost a front tooth. ... Six ribs were broken from being kicked. I was black all down one side from being punched and kicked. I was dragged downstairs by my hair... Eventually the police arrived after a neighbor had called them eight times. They would not enter the house although the front door was open... They left the house saying to keep the noise down as the neighbors were complaining. (J. Hanmer, ‘Violence and the Social Control of Women’ in Littlejohn et al. Eds. (1978) p. 226.) Spouse neglect includes not feeding, not clothing, not caring about or for, and not nurturing. “There is no longer any reason for abused wives (and husbands) to suffer in silence. Thirty-four states have passed laws making civil protection available to them.” (Lois Duncan, “Violence in the Family,” Current Health 2 (November 1984,) p.7.) “Though physical abuse is the most visible and violent form of child abuse, thousands of children are damaged also by parental neglect and sexual and emotional abuse.” (Marian Smith, ‘Stopping Child Abuse’ Atlanta Journal & Constitution, (May 12,1980) pp.1-B & 2-B.) Child abuse has been around since the first child was raised. It includes disciplinary measures and other actions that may scar a child’s life. Child abuse happened and still does because some parents insist on exercising his/her ‘God-given’ power over his/her ... children’ (Jules Saltman, The Many Faces of Family Violence, (New York, Public Affairs no. 640, March 1986) p.10.) Physical abuse of a child is the easiest to detect. “Bruises are the most common type of injury ... but youngsters also sustain burns, scaldings, broken limbs, and skull fractures.” (Smith, pp. 1-B & 2-B.) Physical abuse is “the deliberate and willing injury of a child by a caretaker” (Naomi Chase, A Child is Being Beaten, (New York: McGraw-Hill, 1975) p.1.)

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FAMILY VIOLENCE

ANGELA DETTER

JANUARY 13, 1987

Parental neglect is “negative treatment characterized by a parent or custodian’s lack of interest, and includes not feeding, not clothing, not looking after, not nurturing”. (Chase, p.1.) Sexual abuse is intercourse of a child with parent, stepparent, uncle, aunt, grandparent, brother, sister, or cousin. (Saltman, p.6.) Emotional abuse is threatening or degrading a child. There is no need for a child to stay in a home where this occurs. There is also no need for an abuser to continue to abuse. Help is available through Social Services, Parents Anonymous, and Child Abuse Hotlines. There are two main types of elder abuse: (1) Parent abuse and (2) Abuse of the Elderly. Abuse of elders includes physical, psychological, and financial abuse. One reason it exists is because ‘younger relatives may rebel against the burden of being/having caretakers.’ (Saltman, p.11.) “Whether it’s a one-time punch or continual batterings, specialists say parent abuse --more than most other forms of family violence --- is the crack in the wall that’s brushed behind the couch when company comes.” (Irene Sege, ‘Parent Abuse’, Boston Globe, (November 10, 1981) pp. 23 & 36.) The abuse is ‘nearly always triggered by the parent’s withholding of something...’ (Duncan, p.8.) “Elderly are more likely to be abused by their spouses than by their children ... spouses abused 65% of the maltreated elderly people, while their children abused 23%.” (Glenn Collins, ‘Most Abuse of Elderly Committed by Spouse,’ The Charlotte Observer (November 1986) p. 2A.) “Examples (of elder abuse) ranged from a 39-year old Illinois woman who chained her 81year old father to a toilet and tortured him for days, to an 8-year old who beat his 81-year old grandmother, urged on by his parents.” (Saltman, p.1.) “Most parents are much more tolerant of physical fights among their children than they would be if their children got into a fight with someone else’s child... Children are far more violent to their own siblings than they are to other children... In general,” Murray Straus told at the American Psychological Association in Toronto on August 29, 1978, ‘the rule in the family is that if someone is doing wrong and ‘won’t listen to reason,’ it’s OK to hit.” “In families in which physical violence is regarded as the norm, casual bickering about who gets first use of the hair dryer or who gets stuck with the dinner dishes often ends with one or both of the battling youngster severely injured.” (Duncan, p.7.) Family Violence is not only a threat to the family but also to society. One thing that all types of family violence have in common is both the victim and the abuser suffer. It’s like when a father spanks his child and he tells him/her, ‘this hurts me more than it does you.” The child believes that he/she hurts more because they feel the pain; yet, the father is hurt emotionally because he doesn’t want to hurt his child but feels that he must. Society hurts also, due to the fact that children learn adult roles from their parents, therefore, repeating the cycle all over again. Family Violence can be stopped but first it must be stopped in the families where it occurs. This will break the cycle and, in effect, stop family violence where it started.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

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FAMILY VIOLENCE

ANGELA DETTER

JANUARY 13, 1987

♦ Carlson, Bonnie, “Battered Women and Their Assailants,” Social Work, 22, Nov. 1977, pp.455-60. ♦ Chase, Naomi, A Child Is Being Beaten, New York, McGraw-Hill, 1975. ♦ Collins, Glenn, “Most Abuse Of Elderly Committed By Spouses,” The Charlotte Observer, Nov.1986. ♦ Davidson, Glenn, “Wifebeating: A Reacurring Phenomenon Throughout History,” in Battered Women: A Psychosocialogical Study of Domestic Violence, ed. By Maria Roy, New York, Van Nostrand Reinhold, 1977. ♦ Duncan, Lois, “Violence in the Family,” Current Health, 2, Nov. 1984. ♦ Gelles, Richard, “No Place To Go: The Social Dynamics of Marital Violence,” in Battered Women: A Psychosocialogical Study of Domestic Violence, ed. By Maria Roy, New York, Van Nostrand Reinhold, 1977. ♦ Hanmer, J., ‘Violence and the Social Control of Women’ in Littlejohn et al. Eds. 1978. ♦ Hunt, Morton, ‘Legal Rape,’ Family Circle, Jan. 9, 1979, p.38. ♦ Kratcoski, Peter C., “Attacking Family Violence,” USA Today 114 no. 2484 Sept. 1985. ♦ Saltman, Jules, The Many Faces of Family Violence, New York, Public Affairs no. 640, Mar. 1986. ♦ Sege, Irene, ‘Parent Abuse’, Boston Globe, Nov. 10, 1981. ♦ Smith, Marian, ‘Stopping Child Abuse’ Atlanta Journal & Constitution, May 12,1980. ♦ Stacey, William A. and Shupe, Anson, The Family Secret, Massachusetts: Beacon Press, 1983. ♦ Stencel, Sandra “Violence In The Family,” Editorial Research Reports,April 27, 1979. ♦ Straus, Murray A., at the American Psychological Association in Toronto, Aug. 29, 1978. ♦ Straus, Murray A., Gelles, Richard, and Steinmetz, Suzanne, “Violence; The Wars in American Homes” Atlanta Journal & Constitution, May 11, 1980. ♦ Whitehead, A., ‘Sexual antagonism in Herefordshire’ in Barker and Allen, eds. 1976.

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