Faces In The Revised)

So here am I far beyond the casual mind. Deep beyond the limits and control of the inner mind. So here I weep, the single sorrow the blessed keep. Wears so heavy upon one’s shoulders, the burden revelation becomes. So here I remain, far beyond the limits of mind. Deep beyond the beckon and comprehension of the lower mind. So here I am, a sublime sheep, the carving cancer the blessed keep.

Metaphor Forgotten She finds her way to the bottom of another broken bottle Broken heart Some muted charade, a life living so afraid Afraid to smile, as all the eyes fade to gray Afraid to laugh as the bath waters becoming colder and freeze 1

Her last chance Shivers run down her spine, her soul Cannot relax , the breaths come forced In with the toxins, laughter for the rampage of the mob to bear witness So alone, curled, fetal and nude . Locked in some secret dark corner; in the basement in the recess of mind The child inside a forced tear in eye The woman hidden deep below threatening to end her life But how can that be so when the world never offered a chance To begin to survive Sleeping with one eye open a hand under the pillow Finger on the trigger ready and willing for the shady stalker The imminent break and enter Or maybe she could just roll over and remove the obvious shadowy figure An antagonist portraying perfection Manipulation the truest malevolence of the demon’s games Driving the purest of angels to the bottom of another broken bottle. Cradled in some secret corner, a basement, a grave Moist in blood, in mud, a recess in her mind deep and dark and safe from time. Fetal and nude fearing the messiah may be laying there shivering and frightened too. The rain comes now dark dismal drifting enters the ash We remain staring blankly into hazy glazed eyes Remembering the beauty once held in this withering centerpiece And we are left to wait so patiently The withering rose Once so full, robust, and red Beacon of beauty, truth, and some lost lore of love. Beset now in ash, same as the future For this love, disguised by a war torn wanderlust In the bottom of our empty bottles Our gazes revert back to this single solitary withering 2

bouquet A world set perpetually in disarray This flower this our last glimmer of hope for a savior Metaphor for a moment Forgotten in time forgotten in some secret Dark recess of her mind Curled, fetal, and nude Blanketed by ash, a life begging to be made anew

The Fire in Your Eyes I see all these faces bellowing in the flames those glowing in forsaken places running panting fleeing murder scenes snorting one more line spreading your legs welcoming the raping pillaging anything anyone where does this all end I scream fall to my knees as the I hear these voices filling my head. I look for the mirrors hoping I am deluded and alone in this dread. I bring you close my lost souls but so far so cold slowly I feel your heart lose beat my wish my curse till you all fill your purse with happiness bought in dollars and cents it makes no sense I can hear your screams see your eyes bleed. yet you smile picking up the latest fashions in the department store aisle when truth comes it will be in a blaze father and mother time and nature sick and tired ready to burn it all away ready the flame steady the flame so steady the flame hypnotize mesmerize captivate faces in the flame mirrors all the same dancing in the flame 3

December it was a cold December surreal and blurry just like the others. I hold the picture close to my eyes flick the lighter and watch the pain burn away with a whimper. Who cares to ask any longer the monotony is immortalized in the end of days and November. the cold rain sobering under the gray moonlight. cascades of gods bitter pain drowning me just the same just the same as empty bottles littering the ground in my wake empty bottles empty bottles filling my grave. Grave moments and another drink, shovel digs deeper beneath the blood drenched ground messiah's free of bonds when night consumes and daylight no longer becomes salvation. finger on the trigger again and again until I see a bleak light in the gray night a silent sigh escapes my lips as I wrap hands tighter securing my grip one hand to steady my stance the other fingertips around the trigger I fear hope can never live past another December.

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Tired The sun sets on another day. Purple and pink charades play in the twilight. Another day on the slow march to the grave. Where goes the ferryman to charter me away a broken slave forced to sing whilst digging his own grave day by day. Her tight grip never relinquishing upon the braided whip again and again the sting reminds me to believe. That this pain mine alone the grave my home the worms my friends in this eternal noctum. The sleep will do you well such a rush to dine with the damned time is now always at your command. The arrow comes to a sudden stop as you watch the soil fill your vision and clog your breathing in out in out The breath halts in and in and in the black moist poison floods the worms caught in your wet warm bodily prison. Slowly begin to gnaw through the skin slowly the push their way through a feast your bones a blessing to an angry mother. Claw away your subterranean resting place refuses to give way only darker and darker no more light no air no sound but the pain still remains. Even as you feel your bones begin to lock and your muscles tighten rigamortis holds you to your wishes. Mouth still agape in terror why oh why did I not tell her all I wished was to be held by her one last time. Before I sent her away crying in shame while I spent night and day digging this grave. Just so tired of running of struggling easier to lay and let the rain poor down and drown these worries along with me. Let me bare my crown below the earth six feet down of vines and crimes so much wasted time. These wounds will heal if only I may conceal bandages wrapped around my soul my self control. my wasted time

Enduring Passion And I’m so Fucking lost here, so tired now, trying to find you 5

And I’m so fucking lost here , so worn out still without you. And where do we go from here can we really cut ties and be free. Can we forget the lies and fall asleep. Within another's embrace so fucking lost here so tired now trying to find you See your name clear as day etched away its eternity. Flowers adorn your resting place. Still I am trying So hard now just to find you Knowing how far now you've flown now Heaven has never seemed so gray Without your sweet kiss to guide me Without this forsaken love to ease the pain What’s left to become to flush it all away. Glittering eyes left from your demise Not a curse but a gift So this requiem will forever become Enduring passion locked in eternity's grasping A Calming Gaze Set in Eternal Blaze So entrenched in her fiery glare I cannot help but to melt beneath her stare Such anger contempt for a lost cause A human nature that cannot be saved But at least I have this chance to save her To keep her from spiraling into a darkness of perilous proportions. I can feel the pain in her eyes and all I can offer is a return of hope. And a loving caress that she has never before had to bless her mind soul and body. To find her savior she looks deep within me. Only there will she find a history of pain 6

Already endured A reflection of her torment. buried deep within my calming gaze I wish only to hold you close as we both endure this eternal blaze.

Forgotten is the Thought He says goodbye, she asks to kiss him one last time. To feel him hold her tight. Choice less loves lost to their own contaminated dreams and hopes, striving to gain control of themselves, their lives, to become whole, they both know that the other will forfeit his soul if she says that she will follow. while he chases these wild demons through the corridors of his dark salvation. seeking all the while an escape from this peaceful haven. take your last deep breath and have the strength to save yourself from him. remember these lips and save a memory to hold one day a requiem of paradise lost. as two martyrs toss away pride and allow the wrath of this world to consume them. forgotten is the thought that only love can save them.

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Cold Hands show me a way anyway to forgive point me in the way shout it aloud scream it proudly show me how to lay next to you again to look into your eyes once more allow me to forget how you tortured a soul so beautiful and innocent. break the bonds of your twisted lies even Christ would shudder from the craving for maiming never forgiving this spiral termed carnal by the lustful gleam why oh why can I not awake from this dream of pain and can I not resuscitate the happy boy with a carefree grin now replaced by a man caught in perpetual megrim with one hand on the trigger the other holds a picture the ticking clock slows another heart grows cold I guess this is how I am allowed to be with you again. cold fingers grasping hand in hand. Grinding Captivating, isn't it? constant grind of the millstone, wearing away all these sins You've hidden deep within. Remember the time required 8

for such mistakes cannot be made anew By a single trip to the confessional booth. Six years you've played on the end of the puppet strings Now you're dancing in the flames Do these years spent begging on your knees Lost in prayer make it easier to face The glare of a crusader fallen from grace That will not leave your mirror. Still it grinds No sympathy for the bags under your eyes The pain will not subside even as you cry out for your children's lives What is fair for the millions you have sacrificed A firstborn will do little to ease the stone's scorn None left to play innocent while your secret pacts were sealed Mother knows all and will ensure your timely downfall. to ease her own pain she cares not for her torturer's fame fortune found in mother's eyes view cannot come from pirating her crude. death powering progress while the skies darken and her forest are left barren. wishing your streets to be paved in brilliant golds in reality you are digging and early grave 9

for all our souls.

The Devil’s Child Tragedy has befallen the forsaken are still calling my name seeking forgiveness somewhere to shelter their blame. To lie beside the devil's child rather than crawl through his dark flame A sweet kiss all he asks little taste, maybe on your cheek. hunger never subsides as he moves down your side handful of hair no one can hear your screams fueled with despair. so simple that no one will take the time to care. pleas muffled over come to the deep kiss of a fallen angel Deeper Deeper Deeper still the pressure builds your gaze glossy and still and still the pressure builds and the pressure builds not to stop until the blood spills runs free from an open wound your sins have found a home deep within the devils womb the demons hunger filled and your burning heart tranquil. Flesh 10

A Taste, her flesh, chokes my breath as gods divinity I laid to rest. Upon the bosom of the harlot chosen by mother Mary’s twisted finger I lay my mind and deliver the touch that brings mine own knees to quiver. In her arms I hope to bare the weight of despair while all along my only care lies, in the truth found between her thighs. And the pain of the truth rears its head as my own hopes to wed the fire deep inside the devils bed. What is left of a man’s mind when such a harlot bids him to rhyme her flesh with mine?

Chosen I awoke, and it was quiet. dreadfully quiet to quiet. The clock blinked twelve hypnotically forebodingly. The door 11

was slightly open my eyes opened my mind opened. The breeze was cool calming assuring. I walked through the threshold of the door of reality. The sky was vanilla peaceful reassuring. The cars all passenger less driverless empty. The streets empty once bustling. I paced the streets searching for signs of anyone The houses empty no lights no children No laughter no noise no sun Where was the light haling from? Had I asked the wrong question? I glanced at my hands They were emitting 12

a soft luminescence. At this revelation I gasped and chuckled Then there was laughter again. As my glee echoed. First as my own stoic voice my own laughter Then came the gentle voices of all the children The innocence was astonishing Then they were there in each yard playing hide and seek. Suddenly I burst into tears, fell to my knees wailing head cradled in palms Then she appeared, eyes baby blue filled with love and innocence. The likes of which found only in the soul of a child. She touched her finger to my forehead. "Don’t cry do not be sad, because you are it!"

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Goodbye Crumbled pages upon the floor Red speckles adorn a good-bye letter. Pain left on a page The weight of a cold world Troubles her no more Timidly I kneel making sense of a blood sealed last testament and will "I apologize first to my mother whose love while fleeting and unapparent, truly must have been like no other. I give to my father's misplaced kisses 14

and drunken fists. A silent fuck you finally I have been dismissed. I hope that is not to rude. To my older brother who never seemed to bother about seeing daddy standing over me nude. Don’t forget this is now your pain too. And to my light and my lover, Just think of me underneath the stars cover. And that cool breeze caressing your neck Will be me whispering never forget, my cool touch and warm lips But to tired am I of being held by this world as a convict. Good-bye.

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Souls For Sale Laboring these damp dark dungeons I find merely the same pale faces. And before the onset of stigmatization before the final kiss of degradation He lifts my chin facing my stare with a wry grin. Points to my heart and pulls from his chest a blood tipped felt pen "Survive shamelessly name your price child" stated so coldly How could my answer be anything other than "Save me from these pill popping pilgrims of apocalyptic heaven" Releasing his hideous vessel of archaic encryption he guides me to a land less dismal thought here is everything. Suddenly just as I began running carefree from ignorance I am snapped back Snapped back to oblivion You've made your pact now son Give the Devil that for which he has come Forget the pains and sins of these innocents Just fill that luminous mind with Technicolor decadence Now laying alone once again "Why in gods name Should I arise" I cried out what’s the difference To small an accomplishment To say at least I tried! 16

Why God Weeps He sits alone once more hand cradled by palms cracked and sore. Time skips a beat as a single tear slips down his cheek Disintegrating upon the floor. Here he weeps and tries his best not to think Here he weeps shaded by shadows that are only his to keep. He prays to no one for hope to replenish the young. As he pulls his mind from its sweat doused cradle. mouth agape as still he is shaded by the darkness of late. Each time he has opened his eyes to view the beauty of life He can view only the shadows 17

visible in each of our own hollows. The shadows that blind his eyes are the same that bind our lives

Passion Passion. What is this unbridled sensation? unhinging rust covered locks to discover such treasures that were never to be sought. Is it the gentle caress of trembling fingertips. sliding over her neck chest calmly making my way to explore her lips Or rather can it be defined by the escape the faith confirmed in her eyes where every other explorer has become to timid to dive. Maybe the unparalleled craving in her scream which if lowered but one key can hypnotize all who share in her tortured plea Is it the exhausted gasps in deep rhythmic breaths with stomach's flat eyes rolled back lashes never bat. One Man's Trash Tossed around, for all to use hollowed but beautiful to me 18

Confused, battered and bruised scared but beautiful to me Gypsy, wandering and lost unfaithful but beautiful to me An exception, to good to be true naive but beautiful to me To addicted, self destruction critical suicidal but beautiful to me Thrown out, again and again passionate so beautiful to me My hand extends, offering resurrection stubborn so beautiful to me Support temporarily, for you to stand integrate so beautiful to me I showcase you, an aura of protection cowered and alone yet somehow still so beautiful to me.

The Poet’s Decree Picking our way bleeding gums, yet so much left to say Pacing our strides syllables at a time Confusion gives way to rhyme Stigmatized palms laying waste to tired psalms. Paving open minds syllables at a time. Countermeasures to nuclear terror and fanatical fervor, Lay only in the force of untainted letters. slice our veins with your swords 19

and calmly we retaliate constantly with the power in words spoken comfortably calmly. Your tired breath, from reaping so much death will collapse your lung forever to long to carry your war song. This pen keeps pace and restores faith in a misguided human race. Our time will come Relax now my love gaze with me upon the clock of all these moments and the memories they will surely become I know the time slips by. Gushing River. minutes and hours to little time to remain so bitter and sour tide so strong no reason to hide in the shadows and cower. The taste so sweet this love such a certainty. Moments only enough to savor the taste. Consequences left undiscerned emotions so true love so stern. Hold on to me now as the tide flows by and soon it will be our time 20

Romantic Wishes I do wish, oh how I so dream of each moment holding her so close and laying my cracked bruised existence upon her velvet lips. Feeling the warmth of her breath filling my soul. Oh how I wish for each of these brisk moments to never end. How she extends her open hand with smile upon face encompassing all my vision, to lend me the truth and the love to pull me from these oh so turbulent currents. These hateful minds that have refused to release their shackles. How she bids me follow, with eyes wide shut. Now do I take her hand and follow her warm glow away far and above from this watery tomb. I have distinguished solely for myself. Oh how these addictions to lust, sloth, and bewilderment, fade beneath her gentle caress and soft tone. Oh how I melt as she 21

gives herself to this forsaken soul. How I do feel so alive as her nails tear at my flesh releases my self consuming id. And with each touch of her lips does she heal and reestablish my love of this life. Does she even realize, does it even matter in her heart that life destroyed man she gazes upon with those hypnotic hazel hued eyes adores and cherishes the simple fact that she would sacrifice so much of herself to removes these spires from my palms and lower me softly to the ground and apply the healing salve of her lips upon mine. For all of this I do confess I chose to live and to create wonder in her name my lover, my friend, my wife, my goddess. to thee I praise and sing thy name with warmest heart and joyous smile. May we replace these scars we hold so dear with the moments of bliss and adoration. May we replace all these nightmares with pleasant dreams of green pastures and blue seas. As we share the burden of two lost souls to create a life of renewal 22

and avenge all this hate dealt upon us with a love Romeo and Juliet could not begin to comprehend. Let us venture now hearts open and eyes closed into what beauty will be and let us taste heaven in this given life. Crimsons Lips I will not lie I can no longer pretend that its not killing me thinking of you lying next to him This just becomes too much forever long this desolate song this never-ending kiss goodbye please release my hand let me go an eternity I’ve searched for something so true so beautiful simply doused by this crimson flood unspeakable desires what’s left? what of his certainty nothing nothing this kiss so long seems so true doused in crimson and tainted by blue allow me to close my eyes release me from this long despair this final kiss goodbye 23

Glottochronology As I lose myself here beseeched with but one care flow as diamond silk watching this red rose live and wilt beneath all these pains and worries I concede but one comfort that I may find peace of at least one sort and its calling me calling me that all I may find is what my mind may hide 24

and as this darkness gleams it comes to seem that this fools love will come to self destruct and without her taste you find what a waste on the trail of butterfly wings it comes to be I open my eyes to release my mind only then will you come to find the darkness wanes with only time and as my lips touch hers it seems almost unconceivable cannot be what frightens me and as the darkness fails I still may not see the feel of you here still to much to bare and yet you call on me still you call on me as I fall asleep darkness' grasp refuse to let me be all I can all I may be will it not simply release me

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Requiem for a Nightmare catch me here lost my footing heaven so far hell remains simply a scar tear drops here once before cradle broken scattered pieces mixed upon the floor wake me wont you please wake me this hazy gray bleak is this infinity wake me wont you please wake me inebriation breathes clearly this nostalgic nocturnal emission tears at me close your eyes let me rest close your eyes my soul consumed next wake me wont you please wake me brighter days ahead I will not deny you opened my eyes for just one night I refused to cry for just one night I let myself die why must this be such a fantasy could have held my hand rebuilt your castles strong once made of sand rest my feet just for a day took flight instead of crying through the delay. spread your wings my child breathe now slowly 26

watch all these little things float so coldly had to close my eyes bite the bullet and feel no sting.

Only Love Will Save Them Last night under the candlelight Saw the silvery glimmer in her eye Thought twice Made me shiver. The lustful thoughts Creep into mind What to become of this If all of it We simply left behind Gave it a chance Sheltered by a sweet romance What to make of the world If all of it We simply left behind Blow me sweet kisses As we plow our way Through the abysses 27

Love will be our Greatest weapon As we crucify The ideology Of all the madmen Just come with me My sweet maiden And trust that only Love will save them The Games of Sinners and Saints The priest wears his skin so tight midnight beckons a quick release believe in the burden of being one of god's chosen concubines. milky maiden Madonna of twilight disguised from them all by cascades of youth truth innocence torturing his eyes lies deceit there must be escape from his delightful beauty seeking penance some sentence from my judge hail Mary full of grace the lord must not see my visions relief of what this child would seem on her knees not for you, worshipping me, believe me my child forgiveness is here open wide and allow father to become one inside you just stay there on your knees. freak traitor what would be the words for me truly they cannot see the truth in me when all the children are busy worshipping. man of god know you lord this your punishment testament of bewilderment children lost to an early grave surly it must be ok all of us may be saved laws and loopholes souls up in flames hail Mary’s fall from grace disgrace to call the saint a sinner when all of us follow into his twisted beckoning.

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Midnight he pulls her close a bitter cold midnight A lover's embrace so warm It was a bitter cold midnight There was no escape charmed by this bitter cold midnight They clasped each other tight Held onto the only light warmth on this bitter cold midnight here they promise never to let go as long as this bitter cold midnight Kept their keys to freedom no control as long as they kept hold of their own Bitter Cold Midnight

Do You Still Dream For such a tenderness, a goddess, with eager willing lips, breast warm young ripe for lusting for a virgin, seeking and lonely. So what does the very next step imply what consequence a thousand years time? What Bother with the present night. Whose pressed between your thighs between twilight and dawn. want to waken so badly from shadow cast dreams where quick hallucinations of Heaven and 29

Hades flash in, pray goddess, cradle the bedpost the rails your cross penance as the demons pound their sentence your flesh a cushion bloodshed and broken still you dream but why oh why do you still close your eyes. Don’t you see this blurry thought a residue of life flash before your eyes. Blurry thoughts. Can you not believe receive a will to abstain a breath never a peaceful moment medicated submissive hidden hostility boiling inside the fire rages burning as the darkness still thrives biding another storm. Dark clouds hypnotizing your eyes the gentle splash splitter symphony of rain drops tear drops your lullabies. Good bye, look and see how many have come now to visit you now, Plead to you now! When will you come to choose? Why oh why can't you open your eyes. Oh woe beautiful tender ray of hope. Captivating to teary tired eyes. Finally as the fire slowly fades into the forgotten oblivion darkness home. Peaceful, no longer alone, misunderstood, broken stoned abandoned alone, goddess. Now they plead ask to be forgiven for you to be with them again. But you cannot understand who they are when the demons hold sway upon the small breath of life you tried to take. I cried I tried she screams Goddess sleeping so tired of playing dreaming and waiting I’m sure if I wave I may be able to open my eyes but one more time But in my brief flash of life I’ve realized that they were crying now were hypocritical blood thirsty at least the demons never lied about their torturing. A goddess, eager lips, warm ripe breast, tenderness in each breath. Virgin. Eager. The teachers were all set to condemn until my darkness forgave them.

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Where the Children Play Stars faded far from sight Sun was not their beacon For exodus this night. The brightness bit hard into the winter night cold and bleak For a single moment Rapture In the air For a single moment all sins become atoned paid for and forgotten in the white light. Beacon of those little lights crying for help in the night sky. Millions strong in their desperate Lullaby Lullaby and good night Then asked the youngest to their father Can you see what I see First in terror panic his glare Then rest as the old memories Swiftly swept away. A tear of relief his last plea to his lord Held high penthouse Mountain tops in the sky. 31

Rivers of blood dreams of wealth Power in his eyes. Player of pigments Puppets in black and white. Flesh and blood no matter. When touched by the rapture The white light. All eyes blind. The touch of an angel Lifts the disguise of sight. Touch pending demise. No more cries heard in the blinding luminescence Protagonist Ragnarock Broadway Production. All is forgiven in the push of a button Fingers and hands full of brother's blood And beg of father: Why forsaken have I become. Fresh flesh feeds your wicked furnace. Shoveling bodies one by one. Geriatrics medicated monotony attempt to set the stage for next generations Collapse. Face light terror beats inside. Do not worry time is long past for honor in suicide. Pieces set ready for conclusion Mother's way purging the children Lost in the game. Action without thought Simpler ways to forget the errs of our ways. Immediate relief. Gluttonous thieves do not fret. times is lost when nothing exists. Trumpets sound now finally take one last breath A glance of the beauty around. The grass under your toes Sweet smell of tulips in the air. Quiet hums of the butterfly constant beat of gentle wings. The tortured cries of all the earth's children now Sentenced to Die.

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Regret I can never forget taste of your skin caress of your lips Sparkle in your eye Where are you leading me? That cunning grin Nights filled delightful sin The beads of rain rolling down your chin Still you held my hand Through the sudden cries Splintered bones Can I never forget That last look Glare me mine Painful Peace Still alive in your eyes 33

Can I still follow you Through the flashing lights Panicked shrills Last breath gives way And you held my hand still They pulled away from this tangled mess Somewhere in far distance father's voice calms my beating chest Time to fly time to cry never enough Time to die Yet I beg can I still follow you? Looking back reflection of affliction Still held in my eyes Little boy burning light met demise I can never forget I can never forget I can never regret I can live for regret Can I hope to forget this regret?

Twisted 34

It was quiet that night dark and foggy still somehow I could see clearly the pain in her eyes, It seems truth can see through these darkest of times. LIKE A GUIDING LIGHT AS IF HE WERE HOLDING MY HAND A SMILE SO BRIGHT I WONDERED COULD HE REALLY BE THE CURATOR OF THIS DECEPTIVE PLAN HIS TOUCH SO WARM ON MY COLD SKIN HIS BREATH DEEP AND SOUND Profound how these things happen before you know what can really be seen on such foggy evenings like these. WHERE WAS HE LEADING ME MAYBE A WAY OUT OF THIS CAGE THATS THE ONLY THING I THINK I HAVE PRAYED FOR AS IVE BEEN HELD DOWN ON DIRTY KNEES BY CRUEL HEARTED WILD EYED BEASTS WHO ARE ABLE TO SEE MERELY TITS LIPS AND PUSSY SOMEHOW HE CRADLES THIS LITTLE GIRL hidden deep within I hold her hand splashing through the waves in the sea see my mind turbulent and twisted as this undertow soothed by such a touch so cold A little longer ‘til the sun rises on this never-ending twilight locked within my child just open your eyes open those little eyes certainly if I hold you quite tight a little longer ‘til your sun will rise

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Impressions tell me my friend do you believe in love at first sight? have you ever walked into a room and suddenly become hypnotized? by the fiery glimmer that twinkles in her eyes, can i possibly describe the way her body moves or the smile that would make you choose....death before a night without her by your side. tell me my friends do you believe in truth rather than lies? have you ever been made so tranquil by a touch so sublime that every time her lips meet yours it feels like the first time you held her hand and wished upon a grain of sand yellow as her hair glistening beneath the twilight and the colors rush in suddenly you lose sight of everything else but this halo of light that promises truth warmth thru the coldest of winter nights. wished again that suddenly you were no longer pawns in the games of these madmen but free birds flying for the setting sun over the mountain tops into the clouds carried by the misty ocean breeze never smelled so sweet as her neck beaded with sweat a thought no sane man would ever forget who could turn away such a thought as the sun sets upon another day locked away in hopeless romance guided by just a chance there might be a way to unlock the cage to an eternity bathed in the sweetest 36

greens and blues. blues not of the heart but of my eyes transfixed upon god's sweetest delight as she holds me tight I ask you to tell me my friend is there a chance that you may believe in love at first sight again?

An Angel Waits Beside Following foreboding dreams a night filled with familiar memories. Can the only release be beneath the kiss of such soft sensual lips One night held oh so tight in the arms of an angel. sent to you a moment before Ragnarock leaves behind A man fighting just to Believe there is a chance A dim beacon of hope. A guiding light found in those oh so kind brown eyes And as I prepare for another Swan dive headlong into the abyss. I can feel your hand in mine Before all else collides leaving me to fend off the undertow of this vicious tide. Your breath fills my lungs and when souls unite I feel there may be one last chance for us all to make it out of here alive. without an angels song how could I have made it through this long Perpetual gloom heartache has consumed 37

all but a remnant of a once Beautiful proud man she holds it close to her chest and as I look on from above I know surely I must be blessed to have this angel grace my side, my heart, my mind

Lies of Kings Locked between the lies of kings would you die For the words of a crooked tyrant the cause of a broken savant we are but moths led fed to the flame Puppets and pawns being bled in this carnivorous chess game. Throw away the mother who cares where that leaves little baby helpless and lost with a father buried 38

six feet beneath burning sands older sister bound and gagged body and soul sold for the little money to supply the cupboard so bare as her skin her innocence but who will care as our great leader preaches mile high podium in the sky claims no not yet have enough died damn those towel heads we shall meet their jihad with a crooked crusade and while one more baby's father crumbles beneath the burning sands The kings of the western world will bask to the symphony of a billion tortured screams pleading and blood curdled we are all here locked between the lies of kings die now for these blood dreams enjoy your eternity promised Afterlife because this one isn't worth the sacrifice to deny these foolish lies

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Someone else there Dwells There is someone else, he doesn't laugh, she doesn’t tell. Eyes always watching from the back of my mind. Oh how the glass can be so deceiving. her warm breath on my neck. paralyzed and locked in step As his fiery eyes capture hers Between the teeth of his lies I’m here right here why don’t you see The demon has you snug beneath his wing. To hold and nurture; deceive and torture. While I lay imprisoned here somewhere between love and anger Chaotic debris and tranquil peace anywhere. Far enough to keep you from my arms. Safely consumed in tragedy's charm. If you could only look somewhere anywhere savagery would release its care upon your glossy eyes and treachery's disguise. Every time her eyes meet my stare. I can feel him waiting stalking there. Deceivingly disguised in those blue gray eyes.

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Disguise Lies, oh so delicate the layers of your disguise. Even when the gun cocked armed point blank. Lies so delicate the layers of your disguise Even when the gun is point blank you refuse to open your eyes. Still your lies Still your lies Forever corrupting so long consuming My Mind! Hide behind careful constant cataclysmic untouched Visage of vacant after thoughts and Still your lies Still your lies Seal my lips from voices of conflict Forever corrupting so long consuming Hide behind layers carefully disguised Layers of your broken disguise Go hide run and hide 41

Behind layers and layers of your Careful Lies!! Cry to your god lie to your child Eyes of deceit filled with denial Cover her eyes relieve this defeat Cover her eyes so she may see Brilliantly through these layers of Your disguise. Apathy What, my son, can you still believe in? Dreams of paradise? do you still confide to lost prophets as they walk with you hand in hand through the gates of oblivion. Into the halls of shame. Who left will you blame when the Decadent all praise your name. Pied Piper soul sniper please give all your youth something to die for. Forgetful souls death the only way to make these short lives whole. Complete me show me the way Deceive me lay to waste dreams of serenity long searched peace. I don’t care lie to me I’ll never meet your stare. Apathy all we could ever dream to need.

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Heaven’s Fiery Eyes Gazing up into blood red skies Hoping to catch a glimpse of heaven's fiery eyes, Blinded by a fallen savior's twisted visage. Crippled by his children's hopeless flaws. All become lost who follow the warpaths of their father's lost cause. So forfeit become your ties to summer's sweet delights. And bid a goodnight kiss to your final twilight. Behold your new home, perpetual gloom found in the womb of a weeping mother placing a solitary rose next to father's tomb. "Why must my baby rush into his father's despair, Headlong into a life bathed in eternal night”

The High Ground Concepts quickly fading, capsized in turbulent waters, so unforgiving. Lost to the Baptist, praying and wading, in deep red cascades. Hoping he's saving the precious sheep from drowning. Kept adrift by the savior's tomes of ignorance and a false sense of consciousness. 43

Remaining preciously pious proliferating blindness overwhelms the immediate crisis. Blazing skies, muddy black battle grounds, childless mothers' cries. Yet his sheep fest on the luscious high ground. Crucified, held so high, immunity from the flooding. Catastrophe, Black tides and Countless innocent lives, The question left being: When you are finished with this idle weeping, When the undertow subsides, How can you reap the rewards of eternal life With both palms immobilized.

Motivation She laid there next to him silently softly caressing as he wept. A mother's love could not be so pure as this. Why must all thing become doomed to end...the moment they begin. We have no choice when the first breath fills our lungs, fills our hopes, fills this unavoidable death sentence. who will accept this penance as truth. Who could really be my savior. We may be doomed to death. Does that mean we deserve life any less. Blasphemy simply to indulge in a lover's caress. my only sanctuary. Can I not breath when filled with dreams of immortality. Controlled by fear-warps our reality, dreams and hopes, So we bide our time in front of the T.V. and smoking the finest dope. Or even with a god or two to bring a sense of hope. Even time flows to one end alone, that only with death can anything truly begin. But then without an end in sight would we ever must the 44

drive to write symphonies, dance and make love under the cover of moonlight. If nothing else Death has become motivation to keep life captivating.

Flights of Delusion take my hand believe and you can fly. take my hand trust and you can soar. look in the mirror pure black orbs staring back I must insist you grab hold or do you even cherish that battered bruised soul. hold me close bite the rope can you feel the overwhelming hope time to take flight run run my child till only clouds are in sight. peer below at the crowds their lives so futile quickly now let me in maybe together we can find an escape from all these sins something to believe no, its ok remain blind sight only deceives this beautiful bond 45

this glorious song I allowed you to perceive. now hold tight the fall begins fade from the light, behold your new dark prison

Crusades Contemplate the source can you understand who we die for Terror Alert! Level Red America fear the wrath of Muhammad Or so say secret spies Lovely being paid to lie Once again a crusade so again do deluded soldiers die 46

While commander in chief is paid, bathed In the riches of the holy land. Only thing sacred became the quick tap into mother's black vein God wills all of you to suffer until OPEC releases better barrel offers. As we slit the wrist and drink to the bliss of Mother’s dark drink Drunken and disgruntled with sloth and greed So within a blink these derelict temples will burn and crumble Mother reduces things back to simple Choir of Divinity Humanity why can't you see through all these years you've been lied to All these sins you've become forced to behold true Humanity why do you believe All that’s worth loving is tragedy All the comforts found in falsity Why is the blind man so quick to confide in The prophet who claims light is the pathway to heaven Why does the deaf man believe The angels only love in symphonies Why does the mute man foresee damnation is the key for he cannot sing in the choir of divinity

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Burning Sands Where left can I bury these bloody tears? Cries for my brothers' sweat and wounds Drowning beneath burnt blackened sand dunes Souls, lost grasping for a false freedom, buried in the sands. Deluded to find immortality mummified tragedies In the blazing inferno beneath those bloody sands If only my tears could bring an oasis of hope To my brothers' soul If only my pain could bring more than shame to a family deluded by your Crooked Cross maniacal sanity Tell me does your penthouse so high above offer a spectacular view of the capsized screeching doves Can you release your tainted halo to place yourself deep below The sands' blazing inferno welcoming each of my brothers As a newly dead man!

Another Blood Moon Rises Another blood moon rises once again a tear sheds down the cheek of the tired old man aged infinitely from the shrieking of the infant whose mind 48

already fallen plagued by her father's apocalyptic dreams. The young man rises from the ashes of his mother's ancient tomb brushing away the scars of an eternity of lies. battered and bruised but his fiery glare matches my own tired teary eyed eyes. I am left no choice falling to my knees humbled and subdued. outstretched hands puncture wounds centered in palms tattooed with hypnotic psalms can i not believe in a safer way than to coincide my suicide while being the prime time sinner crucified. I still feel his hand sometimes locked into my mind guiding me through dark times leading me through countless abysses into the arms of heavenly angels. as the angels caresses my lips with her own I am lost in the temporal glow. cannot even see my guides bright blue eyes darken dilated blacker than the storming sky. even my most terrified screams cannot compensate for his coming demise. Reaching for his hand my own fall from newfound grace began. blessed heavenly creature left behind to lose footing on reality to become a victim of temptations demented design. so do i fall no one left to catch what’s done can no longer see the fading sun. where may I land but in a pre-arranged tomb cannot fight the illusion of headstone marking my own demise fifteen years ago when my own care disappeared. blackened soil chokes my breath legs crippled no where left to run. all grows black in time. then her hand it must be the angel fallen to help me rise again. blood drenched silt that once filled my mouth pushed aside and when I open my eyes expecting to see my stricken guardian. when I extend my glare I see there the angel of old broken boned eyes opened but no life yet a smile remains to keep my faith. in the all to real maiden there allowing me to rest my head upon her shoulder. she assures that while the storm rages her shelter 49

will hold an open door for my soul. I look deep into her dark eyes and see my guide my angel my ancestors reassuring me that they rest with her. this is the end my friend she says. the search has ended. the spiral will carry us to a new home away from this turbulent storm. trust in me and I can only hold your hand. maybe not an angel yet I offer the purest love to believe in.

Remember They all lied to me, all of you, you tried to suffocate me. all of you, you refused to let the beast be. these bonds will only free the monster. bid the peace farewell you have bid the peace farewell. opened a new dimension remember your pain this pain I will make you embrace it again feel it again cry to your savior your martyr still lost upon the cross crossed between freedom and trust pray for deliverance pray to be lost in your sins now that I have awoken you will remember these nightmares again you will feel these nightmares again these nightmares are yours once again. 50

A Letter to Mother I did it again. I didn’t want to momma I tried, tried to say no. I even prayed this time momma, with nowhere else to turn. I fell to my knees. a tear in eye so momma here’s what I’m asking wont you pay bail on this youngest child’s soul to release him from a lost hell. I fell into her eyes momma I fell and I wanted to keep the plummet alive. I wanted to survive but it seemed so much easier to simply die, and take her hand prancing through charcoal sands and fire waves teasing at my feet. lord I cried when am I to rise to escape the flame of her thighs. and the demons at play in her eyes, and the peace found in her muddy dark eyes. face up floating in the black blood from deep within your heart. And as your pulse sends me turbulence in a wave pool of your soul I wanted to say sorry again. and I ask simply for one more chance to play jeopardy with your life in one hand and my brother's child in the other. for your own good burn this letter and watch me suffer before your heart has nothing more to offer.

Sodom and Gomorra 51

Wanna watch it go up in flames up in flames Wanna watch it all burn away burn away wanna watch this disgrace go up in flames and burn away Rather than periodically decay Bask in the warm symphony of perilous cries and blood curdling screams watch as all these madmen bake in the nuclear oven they chose to create And as the skies dim to gray and smoke filled lungs can no longer sustain death songs I wanna watch the first green sprout from under the clouds of ash and dust that once sheltered a shallow world so corrupt and self righteous I want to be there as that leaf gives bloom to reassure that nature will never be consumed by a human nature so innate as our own Lustful hate.

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The Quest For Blindness Growing frantic enduring this epic quest, Tearing forsaking prejudice diving below humanity's intolerance to glorify lost interests And crumble the walls that cradle the stout mind Dawning illumination of darkened skies only now, hypnotized and pacified, may his mind rest from cravings that bind his slaved conquest, Exploring each path with timeless sincerity and sense of emergency He comes only now to find no hope for his purpose plagued mind So hard to turn 53

the calloused inside so dark so painful Easier simply to be blinded by the light rather than search for the wonders that may lie inside.

Speak Now or Rest in Peace Take one moment my friends and lay down your swords Recognize such sins as forgetting the use of words. 54

One moment is all I ask a break from murdering your intellect. And creating crude oil blood baths a chance to sit and enjoy deep red sunsets Is one second so long such a welcome break From torturous cries and disemboweling war songs and we are left to choose a marriage to destruction and consummate our path to an impending doom.

The Misty Breeze Even now, as the rain torrentially pours down I close my eyes to be comforted by the melody of the sound. And even as her gaze turns up she sees not the slightest glimmer of sunlight through the surge of the storm The dark cool drops that bead upon her pale cheeks, and flow sporadically yet gracefully down her neck to create an oasis upon her bosom, Calm the fiery rage that turbulent page that only the calm of the shower may contain. 55

It is such a peace found in the misty breeze that her eyes no longer Search for the sunlight no longer hope for the darkness to cease.

Tricks and Treats One more day I've spent lost in regret. One more day I've sat by and cried Cowered and cried as all the colors that once filled my mind Lose their luminous countenance and become hazy glazing my vision as I lose drive. So long, time served while happiness searched When searching for numbness would resolve my penance. Wishing only to close eyes thus remaining blind to what may lie beyond humanity's disguise.

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Wicked Games The time has come the time has come to scream war songs that have been lost as echoes in years past. the time has come to sit up, remove the hypnotism transfixing our eyes. To remove ourselves from our couches so comforting. And take a cool morning walk. The time has come for a people to make decisions for the best of the people. The time has come to pass these trinkets of silver and gold to melt away hardened tears, forever stamped and cold. The time has come to move our own piece across this chessboard. Reprioritize which piece is really the prize. The king covered in black and gold? His tyranny has left us all trapped in poverty so cold. Does each player seem to forget that the pawn played to the end will become more powerful than any who began this wicked game.

Archaic Words Exploring the pages of an overused heart 57

and an unheard hurt Locked in humility's unyielding cages. A tear rolls gently. following the lonely drop inch by inch until the conclusive stop wiped away by the stranger, oh so friendly. A hint of salt as you taste his lips, a flavor never to forget each touch forgives furious faults. You allow another glimpse, freeing silent screams tortured cries no other would believe. he unmuffles your words to brings sense Then as the last page turns, and no more new chapters remain, you realize that life will never be the same, when these archaic words no longer burn. Duality In each new breath recreates himself simplicity from the oblivious distinguishes and places divine tests. Tools are they all in his epic quest searches adamantly questioning all heavenly answers found in mans own flesh. Wilting away in hopes they may find some way to silence this raging quarrel between crying souls and furious minds. Desiring, coveting only answers to exodus from unison knowing already perpetual bliss. Tasting darkness only way to know 58

if serenity truly may exist shrouded behind nirvana's calm disguise. Divine nature realization in traversing all of these crooked paths and pacifying any of these fears. Duality diversifying only from knowing every perspective does oblivion become obvious.

Silver and Gold True failure found only in the face of content. 59

So easy just to subside and avoid the conflict. To the gold and silver your soul, a convict. Long and twisted the path least taken shallow streams once so peaceful, so innocent, divinity in a sense, Now violent, drawing me beneath These torrents, so heavy lined with silver and gold. Blissful demise cast below the undertow. Never is there a moment, when my brothers and sisters are not full. Will my face resign to content becoming so ignorantly peaceful, Enlightenment, your soul ascends, Frightened to behold the darkness. Hidden so clearly behind silver and gold. Why look at the black and white, so calloused and cold, why break my sights, from that which fills this decadent hole, Solemn and content, cast in gold and silver mint.

Lust a glaring pain upon her eyes, I feel the pulse beginning to fade blissful tears and lustful cries chaos quickens where once peace stayed;. no longer relishing in the release of the skin: plagued by the torment within and the blood curdling hymn as I see the pain slowly fade next to the shell of a human do I now lay.

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Singularity Singularity, a simple distinction in a world of blurs and haze Visions of clarity heightened by each sigh and scream she makes A rushing stream of her and me As the anticipation builds and each new groan becomes shrill Awakening deeper hunger faster and stronger still A sense of freedom in being locked into a prison of wasted semen.

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The Hunt beneath my calloused heels, cushioned by mother's fertile beddings still, black sweet soil and dew dropped blades, everlasting as far as I may see, I feel her loving stability. such beauty found in all of mother's simplest of things. she allows me silence, during the bright spring. grace of step supported only by her simplest of concepts, suddenly her eyes lock upon mine. and in this brief moment we both become hypnotized. I plea forgiveness and thanks for allowing me this chance to bring liveliness. suddenly I round to her flank. and in a moment she is mine her spirit fleeting now sublime. he came then in but an instant. fire roaring stinging breaking the bond eternally forgiving. raking pillaging to hers and my dismay. soil salted once fresh dew now tears born anew. her soul still fleeting but only to gluttons never freeing. trust forsaken how much is left to be taken. feet so calloused no longer cushioned now shackled freedom lessened.

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Pele she opens her arms warding her children far from harm. blissful blue eyes shaded by a canopy of graceful greens. warm lullabies sweet as summer's twilight. be not fooled by her majesty's alluring beauty captivating her touch can seem. simply return her eager love, with greed and lust she will lead you to become another ember forever forgotten 63

immortalized in the darkest new land will you only be remembered

The Pain All Around Me this is not about me this is for all the pain I see all the hate that nobility refuses to perceive. this is for the life he cannot lead and the hungry mothers decree the broken sons plea for relief and a taste of sanity. this is my cry to refuse these lies that lead us to subside in dismal hopes of drying our eyes. and breathing a peaceful sigh. to show him love to keep her from this perpetual wish to self destruct. rather, to construct a release from this one sided love.

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Tomorrow Always Shines I can only glimpse it in the far distance the light of hope and end of a cruel sentence. you can only just hear the whisper the calming voice of mother's caressing lullaby a gesture to remove any fear and to brush the drowning tear from your eye. with only a dim hope of tomorrows light, 'tis illumination enough to make darkness alright. though we must remember, as twilight darkens to midnight, that we must hold our breath, through the glooms wrought by December, must give way to be replaced by springs magnificent blooms. but while we remained huddled shivering and alone pondering why this pain is mine take a moment to think of dawn and realize that tomorrow will always shine

Imposter Martyr Taking a step back breathe in all these sins how can you accept all that is so wrong. The only way out to remove all self doubt I am your martyr Killing you for your own good. I step so heavily 65

crushing your heart deepening all of these already embedded scars. So self centered All this pain can it really be yours to claim. You ask for another nail driven in but do you stop to think it is I that you have crucified the pain you seek held only in my eyes. So now as the tears fall you shall no longer cry.

Nothing Else Where do you go when all of this you've lost control. To whom must you turn when paradise begins to burn. Run, run my friend. Good luck. Escape never comes in the end all this pain your truest friend. This desolate landscape, who needs your sins. Pardon me my love, as I escape and fall away to become so numb. In the end that’s all there really is. No my friend, there really is no way to escape this prison. Death doth not even remedy this oh, so lonely situation. You'll surely only end up right here again. So kiss me, kiss me now. enjoy these simple things 66

kiss me, kiss me so that we both may breathe. And while se dance together upon this ground just refuse to think of any other distracting disappointing sound. Secret Tyrant and once again, I see a tear shed. and once again, I feel this grasping at my head. once again my friend I feel it all falling away Void decadent you call me empty, so young don’t take him seriously gimme gimme who now who is more foolish. the fool who leads the conquest or the fools who dare to protest. Taste it taste it its your own golden black blood drowning you in so much of your own stability Crusader....! who do you lead, what is this that you preach. who deserves your nuclear crucifixion Secret tyrant born from the womb of the ignorant rule the world even if desolation consumes it. 67

Gimme let it flow let it remove itself from you let flow I want to feel it silently consuming give me your pain ill take it now give me your trust and I wont let you down give me all that is so corrupt and unsound give me your hate and ill send it deep below let it fuel me and eat away let it drive me and tear my soul astray let go of your sins let it flow into me I want to feel the pain until it suffocates and I can no longer breathe I do this for you in hopes of a calmer day I do this for you and hope it will reveal a better way 68

I take so little and receive so much the only way to balance my soul I cannot hate cannot grasp need your pain to keep me sane so scary a world in peace surreal I wish I could just make all the pain cease I know no other way but let it consume me feed me your fear so I can bridle one more tear feed me your hate so that you can learn to love once more feed me your pain so that you may feel feed me your tears so that you wont drown he can handle all these things for he is one that will not sink nothing to hold me back so afraid to move on feed me these things so that I can look in the mirror and say I am strong so that I can look in the mirror and know that I have to hold on let me care for you and end this pain don’t worry ill never be sane again. already so far gone I’ve tasted this pain and can cope with it felt the burn torturing my soul just want to help before it consumes us all

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You and I distraction impaired vision hazy eyes now it seems to be the way to our own slow demise confusion mixed up thoughts rather know not why perfection fucking vanity oh why not I now it seems to be the way to our own slow demise now it seems why cant I close my eyes why cant I close my eyes close deception forsaken wipe these tears clear my eyes fight these fears no more questions answers all twisted lies creations perfection for even them us and I still it seems we tumble away to our own slow demise.

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I Tried My Love I tried my love to lift you to the light I tried my love to help you in your fight I tried my love to let you know there was a better way I tried my love did my best to keep you from running astray I tried my love placed my heart out for the taking I tried my love to keep you from breaking I tried my love to mend you wounds I tried my love All that I’ve created has been washed away all to soon I tried my love yet I still have failed you 71

Annie vs. Mother Annie please wont you breathe Annie please wake for me Annie please open your eyes let me see you’ve survived the current let me see the undertow has not taken its toll let me view that the current has not swallowed your beautiful soul why do you deny what is only right why do you continue your struggle against the light does the truth truly make you blind Annie please allow me to take your hand Annie wont you stand up stand with me so we may breathe at least once more in the suffocating grasp of this hazy infinity I would be there why such the desire to jump in all alone the tug to hard the vortex will not release your soul so easily do you throw what is yours mine ours into the depths and smile as you watch it disappear tugged down by the tightening grasp of the undertow

Gypsy 72

wandering lost blind confused room to room searching suddenly a gypsy guided only by the moonlight. waiting wanting only somewhere calm to rest my head somewhere warm to rest my knees a friend to support this craving suffocating hole is the only thing left to desire a warm smile a healthy hug pat on the back. someone to let me know tomorrow will be okay somewhere to mend these wounds one bed to another always alone always just enough to continue this never ending journey through the infinite hazy gray in search of a shallow enough bay to dive in and let my ripple spread.

Water bugs and Envy I stare attentively from above so attuned to the allure of a peaceful gaze to meet my own. one is to become lost transfixed by the glory of what waits just beyond. I am held aback awe struck as I envy so dearly how each tiny step and move back to dire consequence is it not so glorious as to behold the little black dots which move mountains with a single jolt. how attuned they seem to their relative infinity. how at peace they are with what they can never see. how do they manage to handle each moment without 73

succumbing to what wonders there are to behold choosing not to search for what is not told. how I wonder what it would be like to tread on the surface safe from the undertow. how I wish I could jump in and indulge in the marvel of creating something so marvelous so glorious as a simple ripple in my own hazy murky infinity.

The Moment of Extradition As you awaken, face down you notice how your vision is blurred. It all seems so dim, you fail even to notice as he shakes your frail limp body. You notice no breath enters your lungs. No blood pulses through your veins. Chest remains silent. Your voice, simply quiet You are nude. A light blanket still covers you lower half. You try to clear your eyes. Still only a hazy gray, colorblind. It seems so surreal. What the hell happened last night? You try to move, rollover, and ask the man what happened. Still you cannot move. Your breath still silent. You move only as he beckons you. Your body seems so heavy. What the hell is going on? Where are your children? Where are you? Why can you not see? Who is this man? His face so blurry, touch so familiar recognized his calm caress. He must have loved you. This comforts you. He assures all will be fine, and asks you to close your eyes. He begs you not to look upon him. Still you try. It perplexes 74

you. Why can I not seem to recognize, but once again, he assures you to rest and be at peace. He will see you soon but not today. Go to sleep my love. I will awaken you later, when the time comes.

Sheltered Lord Dreary, Damp these days that shelter a deeper sense of romance. A peak of sunlight creeps through ominous cloud cover. Holding all of her children, a worried mother. As long as they remain beneath the cover, blind and comforted. Who can see me now who can save me now? When god no longer cares to give a moment’s warmth or light to cold and hungry children. Tired and weary from a blurry oblivion, father’s dreams have left children with screams of agony. Pleading misleading their cries: Mother father, why oh why, have you sentenced all of your children to die? Blacking out the skies to keep the hunger of your lies from reaching god’s careless eyes.

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Digging Darkness begins to take cover the putrid plague smoldering bleeding baby’s gentle breath. Smother, darkness devours deceiver seeking saturation, purification. Their own place alongside Christ; bled, terrified, immobilized. Baptized in blood, messiah of desire. Come bring your fucking rapture, a departure. This hell father is brewing can be no farther from this reality catastrophe rotting our graves beneath our feet. Seeds of wrath sown, and the darkness grows takes hold nowhere for the light to hide. Nowhere left to hide. Can we try to hide deep inside we all hold it so deep inside. Terrified of what may survive in the dead cold night. Spending my days digging digging graves. Spending my days digging digging my grave.

Father’s Drums Breaking breaking me down Choking on my halo my crown All the children marching now, to the same sound War drums, acknowledge this beast we have become. 76

Midnight confessions, praying forgiveness father forsakes the son. Acknowledge this beast we have become Beneath the spell of father’s drum Acknowledge this beast we have become Beaten to Hell by father’s drum Beating beating in out Waiting on my savior my doubt Fall the millions sleeping now In the silent rout My mind , my Christ, can bare no more. Watching me in the mirror, watching me pillage and rape her. Where’s this savior, watching tragedy undertake as another star begins to fade. My mind, bares no more. Arise the brightest star. Arise my brightest star. Slit the strings, the veins of this secret war. Puppets dancing bleeding, feeding this secret war. Listen closely now, closer now. Never can forget the sound, in and out, in and out, remember what you’ve become now playing father’s drum

Fathers and Sons Vindication , seems to be My last hope, for inspiration From the moment he Stepped out the Door I knew that He would be the reason Every night my mamma cried ‘Til the first time I was the one Who held that forty-five Thought he was the one Committing treason 77

Fifteen years pain And blood shed Fifteen years demons Possessing controlling my head Finger on the trigger Upon the moment of extradition I subtly realized The only true enemy was The one staring back at me Not even the face of a Young punk angry and greedy ‘Twas not his eyes that Met mine that night Rather my own trepid demise That played out that night And as his pain ended I became solemn in the fact That mine was to remain long winded When that bullet tore Through his chest The only thing I saw die Was my last piece of innocence Day by day Minutes and hours We search for a place To harbor this blame When all this hate is only ours When all this gold begins to sour Who are you to blame Who will be the next head to be claimed When only you and I remain.

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The Thunder In one hand her picture The other a steel black cold Reaper of souls I shed a single tear As the memories came flooding back Then all was dark After the thunder clapped I awoke, to a world on fire And the noxious smell of burning souls It was quite a change flying from a world So cold To this furnace of souls Even as I smelt my flesh boil and melt I welcomed the warmth Of this hell Until I saw her face The girl in the picture She was there crying for me She was there all the other Faces so condescending filled with envy When she looked up To gaze upon my tortured soul I knew I had mistaken my role In that world of bitter cold Overcome by greed After all that I had preached I realized that now as Her teary eyes and Burning cries Tore through my soul

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Eternity’s Tomes What beckons me to stay Standing here, day by day Dancing while I dig this grave Parchment riddled in shades of red Shroud of contempt wrapped tight Keeps the void warm in the dead of night I am the son of man Bleeding blinded crawling in the sand The hourglass flips can this be the last time To reset redraw the last hope of becoming sublime Is she there to trust Or am I another fool guided by lust So carnivorous So frivolous Digging this grave Digging day by day Digging sublimity 80

Digging an eventual home So carnivorous So frivolous I am the condemned This is my last day Again and again Do I stand acquitted from death’s committee Lost in eternity’s tomes Declaration of Independence Save me these sacred Sunday sermons Policies, that only prophets with eyes Perched to fiery skies, Bleeds me dry, this dreary day Let me to die another way Mummified beneath dry sands Where this nation has dug its grave Parchment clings to my melted skin I think the title read Declaration of Independence. “We the people living in ignorance cover our eyes with neon lights and a sense of acceptance from the prayers, voices in our heads and the hypnotic trance provided by our television sets” A nation gung-ho to die for cowboy politics.

Outside the Gate 81

A dance in the spring shower With a milky maiden in arm. So quickly dissolves Lost some forgiveness in God’s charm When the silence begin Setting stage for the Tempest yet to bare. Cemetery concubines maddening With a single rose in hand Planting seed after seed in razed and Lifeless terrain hoping a blossom Out of a withered bouquet left At some nameless lovers grave Dance dance in the reprieve Find your rhyme some reason Playing gracefully to stay in the Eye of the beast Purposeful and blind To the building catastrophe Outside Heaven’s Gate Where’s your separation of sanity and state What shadow of hate have you set aside For humanity’s sake?

Epic Sort of Battle Liquor on his breath Fingers painted with Nicotine stains Eyes black dilated And wide with fear Needle in hand A prayer on his lips Powerless to these demons Rampantly scavenging his head The hero is dead No longer a muse or 82

Angel on his shoulder Whispering hope into his ear Only a single wish to Let him die young Before further tragedy of Broken dreams can Categorize this struggle This epic battle of Will versus the pharmacy bottle Another empty bottle Left in his wake One more small step Towards the grave Snow White I gave you my love, On a brisk winter’s eve. `Twas a snowy white rose. Sun glistened and dew dropped. Merely a reflection of the innocence caught In the glimmer of your eyes. And the tenderness of each and every touch. That brings me so humbly to my knees. Yet my love, still carries thorns you see, my love does. I have been clipping, trimming for sometime. But yet, it is best remembered that some of these stings Are not to be forgotten. Still, with your warm touch and mending breath. Each of these stings has lead me to believe, That while these thorns leave their pain The purity left in the untainted essence remains yet intact And lives on in time waiting for the Spring to flower and 83

Bloom once more.

Shadows I watch as the sun rises on another day from my solitary perch I wonder what glory I may yet find. what will I meet will I see the gleam in her eye this morning will I feel the beautiful white glow of her gentle touch? what will today bring may I be fortunate enough to hear the gentle whisper of her noxious morning voice? could I be held in awe paralyzed by her gentle touch? what will today bring may we hold hands and listen attentively as the waves perform our own private symphony, conducted solely by his grace the man on the moon? will we spend our day sipping spirits and making plans to create our own little peace in this chaos we list as life. will their be the sweet taste of your lips upon mine, hidden beneath the candle light? or will I truly awaken at dusk and realize I have nothing more than these sweet nothings, and my own shadows to keep me warm through the night.

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Sweet Sort of Suicide There’s smoke in my lungs A fire burns inside Some kind of regret in her eyes A sweet sort of suicide Selling my soul for a slight taste of the divine Spiral down, dangers lie low Broken bottles and nicotine stains Withered bouquet left beside her grave Some tortured soul still remains My cathartic outlet Left alone in this pain Shadows and a bitter wind Another bottle in my hand Such a long lonely trip to the grave Shrouding every pathetic attempt To simply watch a sunset Over the mountains Purple fades to gray Sobriety no longer a necessity Just wanted to start things over I just wanted to start things over Over the sea Blue fades to black Just wanted to believe I could start this over Just wanted to start things over Breathe Breathe, who are you doing this for? Please, don’t you deserve a little bit more? Breathe, shelter me with a warm kiss. Please, let me see this ignorance is not bliss. 85

Lost and confused I’m left here wondering if this pain that I feel will ever start diminishing. Deaf to your ears the truth will not be spoken. Left here again, but my will must not be broken. Pain will not stay, test me now put you away. Played in this game cry your fucking heart away. Now you’re awake, do you really want to stay. Breathe in and choke, wishing now I never would have spoke. Catch yourself now release yourself now . Walk away your doing just fine. Close your eyes the darkness is sublime. Hang your cross on your own back. Drop the load let them fix their own cracks. Yet here I am refuse to let them drown. Yet here I am confused I know by the sound. How can hate be so loud, how can hate be so loud? So come down come down off of your cloud.

Hollow Sorrow follows cold sweat and tears. So hard to swallow fears of becoming emptied. Fiery eyes pierce, I lose control. Ready to sacrifice and lose control. How can you leave me here alone to what may become another hollow, so hollow. Follow bloody prints into the brooding conflict. Meet her gaze let it penetrate such a feeble attempt. Capture her gaze allow this to penetrate. Reaching out to clutch her hand, some distant support. Wander now, do you stare into the same broken sky. Tears building in eye and wonder why oh why. A comfort a kiss a motive to submit to a reason to give into this sorrow filled hollow. Can you feel the flame? Your pointing of the blame, into the mirror. Reflecting your 86

savior’s unyielding stare. Heart hollow, soul bare.

Delightful Desire Christened and castrated The most delightful desire Remaining o’ so numbed Baptized and blissful Smile that never sheds So long as I remain Fetal, comfortably Stable in my bed

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Passer By And don’t mind me Just one more quaint passer by Tracking way to an early grave Untimely descent a fall failure found Just trying to remain descent And don’t mind me Nor the trail left behind Blood bottles and tears I know you’re wise Beyond these simple years So close your eyes And don’t mind just One more quaint passer by.

This brooding calamity, Brewing somewhere deep within these: Pleas and screams, ideals and dreams. 88

Behind hazy glazed eyes, Bloodshot Dilated mirror images. Torrential terrain, Cannot remain whole and sane Torrential terrain, Guiding this pain Scattered pieces on the floor. Surrounding My feet, shattered glass pill bottles and bloody needles. Why the need to become discrete. Why stop questioning the validity of humanity To become the waking dream of Precious penthouse puppeteers. Just another pill popping pilgrim Apathetic to the strings playing body against mind. Holding the razor blade to Criss-cross drained veins.

Modern and Emotionless Seeking a conclusion, a sort of absolution. Millionth victim to Humanity’s grandest final solution. Dissolution of natural selection’s disillusion, Of the fittest consciousness. Into singularity, stupidity. Monotony moans. Treasures of gold riches power grandeur coveting All that time is fading, dissolving into dull demeanor. Rust covered requiems, do you still remember? The lies of kings, clergy, media a mockery Where lost cast out through oblivion’s soul Can a single spirit flee to? To glory games? 89

False idols and fractured egos Sorrow filled masks of frightened grins And can you still remember? The pain shakes down. Dawn fades farther darker my eyes your lies Shrieking through my head. And can you still remember? The deceiver’s grin. When praying for sanction Away from this merciless megrim? Twisting tearing no sense for caring. Staring death blankly in the eye, the soul. Chaos bids control welcome a brief hope In the maiden’s bed. Losing my head colors scream to red. Filling the cameras flashing memories. Candelabras hanging low. Lighting Gather’s falters in an eerie glow. When did this madness seek control? Over ordinary dreams: Picket fences, cherry pie, pregnant wife’s cries of suicide. Run upon the butcher knife. Death and bliss. The aroma seeps from the window seal. Modern Conquest, Emotional Death. Modern and Emotionless, Conquest and Death.

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Faces In The Fog A collection Michael W. Bailey April 2009

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Metaphor Forgotten The Fire in your Eyes December Tired Enduring Passion Calming Gaze in the Eternal Blaze Forgotten is the Thought Cold Hands Grinding The Devil’s Child Flesh Chosen Goodbye Souls for Sale Why God Weeps Passion One Man’s Trash The Poet’s Decree Our Time Will Come Romantic Wishes Crimson Lips Glottochronology Requiem for a Nightmare Only Love Will Save Them Sinners and Saints Midnight Do You Still Dream Where the Children Play Regret Twisted Impressions An Angel Waits Beside Lies of Kings Someone Else There Dwells Disguise Apathy Heaven’s Fiery Eyes High Ground Motivation Flights of Delusion Crusades 93

Choir of Divinity Burning Sands Another Blood Moon Rises Remember A Letter to Mother Sodom and Gomorra Quest for Blindness Speak now or Rest In Peace Misty Breeze Tricks and Treats Wicked Games Archaic Words Duality Silver and Gold Lust Singularity The Hunt Pe’le Pain All Around Me Tomorrow Always Shines Imposter Martyr Nothing Else Secret Tyrant Take it You and I I Tried My Love Annie vs. Mother Gypsy Dinner Time Water bugs and Envy The Moment of Extradition Shadows

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We all quest for one great truth. The simple return home. Once we leave and watch the rest of the variables crumble around us, as we work for another midnight bus ticket to some random locale, some random new faces, a random new girls bed. Living with to much pride to beg and grovel. Learning to steal to sell each last piece of our bodies, our souls, simply for a ticket home. It has been ten years of this with nothing but a single bag and some clothes on my back. Still the same set I left home wearing. Now I’ve finally made it back, well almost. The city of angels, LAX, the crossroads of the western world. Now comes the waiting game. A plane ticket back to the islands. Oh how long has it been since I’ve felt that misty warm sprinkle of the deep Pacific. The sweet aroma of the constantly blooming hibiscus. And of course the college girls. Heh. Almost there. Almost there….. That was my last real conscious thought. After that there was the distant flash. Then the ominous silence. They say it bids in the storm, the silence that is. And what a storm. This the silence to end all thought, all choice, and that was the only gift any of us were ever given. Not only the seekers but all of humanity. We were given the ability to face thought and this silence is what we chose. This black death I said earlier that all any of us truly wants is to return home. So what hope is left when it not only just doesn’t feel like home, but when home physically simply is no longer there.

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The orange haze had grown all around me. The blood tinted sky. A mist of tiny blood droplets. That’s how we knew they were coming. That’s how we knew death had finally reached us. First it was the haze, then the complete consuming darkness. I swear to you it was an absolute void. Except for the eternal lullaby. The screams. Constant. Breaking the air. Constant. I can still see the faces in my dreams. Nightmares, I should say. The countless faces. Painted with Death. With terror. I can fell their pain every night. There’s no rest for the weary. And I assure that’s what I have become, weary. I have become so tired, of all the death around me, of all the suffering. I cannot yet understand why I still live. In the depths, the shadows, in the pain of a once grand civilization, world. Maybe it was not peace filled but it was filled with other wonders, mapping the genome, space travel, an average human lifespan of 80 plus years, A.I. for Christ’s sake. It seems though that gods have deemed the human culture fit for genocide, or is it xenocide. Either way it seems evident that the human race is on a crash course for extinction six billion dead, two years. The nuclear war was evident. But my god, what came next was unexplainable and to say the least unexpected.

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Bright red reflects off of the early morn grass. Blades wielded by mother, dewdrops draped in man’s final disguise. Some sort of simplicity found from observing this, the final battleground. Death offers some new perspective on the value of life. The beauty found in littering mother’s birthing grounds. I sliced his veins with my swords. Somehow he still voiced to me his last words. Some secret curse. My soul, my body, no longer my worth. With this blood red moon rising, there was my made apparent no more resting. Indefinitely dead. Forever forsaken, never forgiven. A brief glance as life finishes her graceful dance. Dancing with demons. The blackness swells the darkness constantly covering the horizon. A distant orange glow disguising the approach. The creeping death. The constant catastrophe. Leaving nothing to spare as the final mother cradles her last child looking to the gods, the pitch black starless sky. I swear I still hear that cry, even now I’m haunted by that dreadful night. As her shadow became and desecrated her. The inner conflict, the sinners concept. All lost beneath the sands precept. Accept you know last chance besides this sword and gun in my hands. So burn burn does the wicker man. The old man time has finally bid final farewell and died. So many questions are answered in this grim judgment. A million sins repented yet the screams continue ascension to the airs, the winds, the heavens. Divinity’s choir. So many tortured cries for some lord their savior, gone unheeded, constant echoes, eternal sorrow marks the air. So the beginning is the end and the duality plays out. Destruction begets creation. My name is Simon Rouyea. Before my story begins, I feel I must share a taste of the end for the age of man. The evening drenched in the cold midnight, staring wantonly up at the stars. Alas my friends, evenings like this never truly occur any longer. There is no more burning in my 97

soul for the tender touch of my maiden, my milky Madonna. The only burning seems always just beyond the horizon, the orange glow, forebodingly warning you that your final dawn has passed and true color you will know no longer. Lives change every moment of every minute of every hour. This pattern holds true each day. Fore we are never quite on the exact path we thought we would be on yesterday. Everything is always different. We understand and accept these inconsistencies each day. Another general point of life. Some changes cannot and will not go unwarranted, however. Any of the educated world could have seen this catastrophe from so many years away. Alas, the point is moot. The call of the worlds riches has brought men to shed blood for years. This began no differently. The sultans of old and the kings of the west killing destroying for the black gold, the black blood, the giver of life for the planet. There is never enough for all of men to have a piece. Given a taste a man craves a full meal. The American intrusion into the holy lands of the Muslims for the second time in two decades spawned one of the greatest religious fanatical wars the world has known since the time of Eric the Red. And I was caught in the middle of all of it. I never thought for a moment that the war I signed onto would truly be the endgame. But one bleak Sunday morn the coup de’ gras was struck for all of mankind. I was a member of the United States Army’s Chemical 98

Corps. Never in my wildest dreams nor desires did I believe the catastrophe that I would be thrown into. The dirty bombs struck, and struck hard……..

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