Example Essay Revision

Example Essay Revision

What is the topic?

What is the thesis?

How is the paper organized? • Specific to general • General to specific

Restate example(s)

Are the examples detailed? • Assume the role of the reader who has no knowledge of the topic

Development strategy • • • •

Anecdotal Factual Statistics Other

Content Revision • Communication is an important part of everyday living. Without it we could not get the news that affects our daily lives. We wouldn’t know what was going on across the world or even across the country. Advances in communication have now enabled us to be able to receive information the same day or even hour it happens.

Revised • Comm…living. Without it we couldn’t get the news that affects our daily lives. This news comes to us in many ways. CNN reports international news and weather 24 hours a day. FOX news, a conservative slant on the news, covers national and international news. Daily papers – local and national – do the same yet only once daily. Blah blah blah