Ethnography Comments.final Portfolio

Katie
Jordan
 English
111
BL
 Matthew
Weinkam
 24
September
2009
 First Impressions Small people holding long mullets were mounted on horses and following me through the hallways. Alligators surprised me around every corner1. Sure, I’m used to seeing the occasional Ralph Lauren shirt or Lacoste polo, I mean I even own a few myself, but I have never seen so many isolated all within one building2. One guy even had a light blue Ralph Lauren polo, layered with a matching thinly stripped white and blue button down. Double Ralph wear; who are these people? Eight giant pillars marked the main entrance to this brand new business school on campus, the building representing my major and my future. When I entered, the smell of new paint and upholstery overwhelmed my senses. A grand piano stood in the entrance to this fifty-two million dollar building. I looked around at my surroundings and realized the building I was in was not just a school facility designed for learning; it was a fucking3 mansion4. This was my first impression, and as I have learned, the first impression of many at Miami University, but I have discovered a lot more to the Farmer School of Business than just the assumptions associated with its appearance5. To better understand the business department here at Miami, and in particular the business major students, I observed them in their natural habitat, the classroom. Since this is the first year that the new Farmer School of Business (FSB) is open, there are many gadgets worth exploring in these classrooms that are far different than those found 























































 1
NO
WAY!
 2
Haha,
I’m
so
witty.
 3
Emphasis
here
 4
I
put
in
a
lot
of
description
that
really
helped
you
“see”
the
building…way
to
go
 Katie.
 5
Specify
that
thesis
a
little
better
to
what
you’re
addressing
in
the
paper
 








1





in the old business buildings. These nice, brand new classrooms have technology heavily incorporated6, including electronic stock information boards, like those found on Wall Street. With such a horrible economy, how can Miami University afford such an outrageously expensive gadget? This baffled me. I was even told that the chairs in the classrooms were spectacular and far better than other buildings’ here on campus. In my business decision-making class, I was able to experience these “amazing” chairs as I comfortably learned what to expect in BUS 101. I mean I guess these brand new, adjustable, upholstered, wheeled, reclining chairs that mold to your back are pretty cool compared to the plastic chairs stuck on a pole that are cemented to the ground in my Anthropology classroom7; those monstrosities are impossible to twist to allow one’s self to even sit in them, so I suppose I can understand the excitement about the new business school chairs. But then I ask myself, are these chairs actually necessary? Well not necessarily, but the point is that every detail in the building has a purpose to enhance the student’s learning environment far better than the old business building did, which in turn benefits the university as a whole8. Most of the business major students came to Miami expecting a top-notch business program; after all, the program is rated within the top ten of public schools in the nation. This astonishing building was designed to match the program, and by understanding the9 how the program is taught will give people a better understanding of

























































 6
Have
technology
heavily
incorporated
into
what,
Katie?...INTO
WHAT?!
–
Improve
 clarity
 7
That
is
a
whole
bunch
of
frickin’
description
packed
into
one
sentence
 8
Nice
job
of
bringing
it
back
to
a
point
 9
This
extra
“the”
just
isn’t
necessary,
Katie.
 








2





why the FSB is a mansion and how it helps the university as a whole10. My business11 class, BUS 101, teaches the fundamental, basic information that all business professionals should know as well as the material necessary to help students develop good critical thinking skills. As said by my professor of the class, Ray Rollins, “One of the most important things I will learn in BUS 101 is that critical thinking is the ability to turn answers into questions."12 Critical thinking is the key to the program at the Farmer School of Business, and also the key to understanding the students at the Farmer School of Business. The freshmen13 are just beginning their adventures into in-depth critical thinking, whereas the seniors have had many years of practice to develop their skills. From my observations, I noticed a slight pattern to this age difference; the freshman appear more social and rowdy when exiting class and walking through the halls of the business school. When upperclassmen exit classes, they surely communicate with one another, but they do not appear as rambunctious. For example, as I left my BUS 101 class, I have been pushed aside on the staircase on more than one occasion by loud, running freshmen appearing to chase each other like 5 year olds on a playground14. As I watched the upperclassmen leave their classes, they would be talking with one another, but never outrageously loud, and never once did they appear running wildly out of

























































 10
Address
this
major
point
in
your
intro/thesis
‐
benefitting
university
as
a
whole
is
 important
 11
Need
better
transition
from
teachings
of
business
school
into
the
teachings
of
my
 specific
class
here.
 12
Nice
use
of
a
quote.
 13
New
paragraph
here
when
starting
to
talk
specifically
about
freshman
and
seniors
 14
Good
example
 








3





control15. These upperclassmen did not play immature games of cat and mouse like the freshman did. I also noticed many upperclassmen silently reading the Wall Street Journal, a business newspaper, in the high-ceilinged front lobby, demonstrating the business student’s high interest in their major16. Now this could be a coincidence, for I could have observed those personality types by chance, or it could be a definite indication of the maturity and responsibility development as well as the thirst for business knowledge that the Farmer School of Business helps the students to acquire17. 18

Every class, Professor Rollins ends the class by asking, “Are there any

questions?” After my first class, keeping in mind that my BUS 101 class consists of all first year business students, not a single student had a question. For my second class, a few students would raise their hand to ask a question. By the second week, there were a significantly larger number of students asking questions about PowerPoint presentations and general business terms used in class. Critical thinking skills were developing right before my eyes. For example, during the first week of classes, when Professor Rollins would ask a question about a business case, a student would answer, yet was not able to back up their opinion or explain their thought process. It’s not that the students were afraid because they would talk a lot to the professor, just not anything of critical thinking value. Later in the class, Students were not only able to answer questions confidently,

























































 15
Maybe
put
a
better
example
of
upper
classmen…this
is
more
of
an
explanation
 than
a
specific
example
like
the
previous
freshman
example‐
or
remove
this
example
 since
your
next
example
covers
it.
 16
Better
example
here!
 17
Addressing
the
other
side
to
make
my
point
stronger…GOOD!
 18
Move
this
paragraph
to
the
location
in
between
where
I
said
to
break
up
the
 previous
paragraph.
(After
the
general
critical
thinking
paragraph
but
before
the
 freshman
vs.
seniors
critical
thinking
paragraph)
 








4





but they were19 completely explaining why an answer should be so. This was obviously20 attributed to the teaching style at the FSB, for better explanations clearly demonstrate better critical thinking skills. It had only been a week, and I already noticed a big improvement in the students’ curiosity and interest in the subject matter. Also, the students began to realize the importance of doing well and putting in the effort during class, for one student remarked, “Wow there are a lot of students in this class that want to be business majors and with the requirements [for entering the business school] being so strict, I think I need to try harder to succeed21.” In my opinion, this epiphany is exactly what motivates business students to focus on their classes and learn as much as they can about business on their own22. However, this process takes time, which explains the senior’s better understanding on how to exceed within the red accented walls of the Farmer School of Business23. There are a lot of people at Miami University interested in declaring a business major, and because of that, Miami wants to ensure that only the serious, focus students are able to become business majors, which is the reason behind the requirements24. For one’s first two years as a business student, he or she is coined the term “pre-business” major.25 After sophomore year (usually the time when a Miami University student has completed most of the Miami plan courses), if that student has a GPA of a 3.0 of higher, then that student is able to officially enter the business school and declare a business 























































 19
Insert
“also”
here
 20
Is
it
that
obvious?
 21
Excellent
quote
usage!
 22
Really
good
point…you
blow
me
away,
Katie!
 23
Good
thinking
combined
with
description…nice
work!
 24
Lots
of
stuff
packed
into
this
sentence…spread
out
its
information
into
more
 sentences/emphasize
more.
 25
Insert
better
transition
before
this
sentence
into
this
topic
 








5





major. If a student has under a GPA of 3.0, then they are not automatically entered into the business school. That student must petition by submitting a portfolio and explaining why that GPA lower than 3.0 was not due to a lack of effort. The board reviews students on an individual basis and will decide if he or she is allowed to enter the business school. These requirements are much different than say a physics major. For a physics major, there are no additional requires than what Miami University sets as the requirements for all majors, including business and physics26. If you want to be a physics major27 as an incoming freshman, then go for it; there is no process where you have to declare yourself “pre-physics” first. The point is that these business requirements motive business students to do well in their classes28. Fifty-two million dollars is a lot of money29. With fifty-two million dollars, I could buy over eight million packs of printer paper for the university. With fifty-two million dollars, I could afford tuition for nearly 650 Miami University students for all four years30. A lot of people involved with the university might be wondering why Miami spent that much money on just one building. The key is to look at the situation from more than one perspective. The English or Math department might view the new business facility as unfair; why do they not get a state of the art learning environment?31 But one must realize that a high percentage of Miami students major in Business, and by 























































 26
Clarify
“including
business
and
physics”.

It’s
kind
of
confusing
as
to
what
about
 business
and
physics
you’re
talking
about.
Get
it
together,
Katie.
 27
You
can’t
BE
a
physics
major,
you
can
declare
yourself
as
one
though.
It
sounds
 awkward
the
way
I
put
it.
 28
This
concluding
sentence
is
good,
but
this
paragraph
sucked
compared
to
the
rest
 of
the
paper.

Make
it
flow
better
and
sound
better.
 29
You
got
that
right!
 30
That
puts
the
money
in
different
perspectives
for
the
reader…creative!
 31
Answers
the
question
many
might
be
having
at
this
point!...good
job!
Addressing
 arguments
opposing
your
own
make
your
paper
stronger!
You’re
so
smart,
Katie.
 








6





investing in an extraordinary facility for these students, there is hope to draw in many new students to the university, which will benefit all the departments here at Miami, including english and math32. And it is not enough just to draw in the new business students with a beautiful building; there also needs to be an excellent educational environment to match33. The moral here is that the Farmer School of Business program shapes intelligent men and women into critical thinking machines who just so happen to enjoy dressing their best, so don’t judge this book by its cover. The resources available in the new business school will only benefit the business program, and I look forward to the opportunity of using all the building has to offer during my next four years as a business student34.

























































 32
AH
HA!
Good
point!
Way
to
sell
it.
 33
Touch
more
on
this
or
something
because
transition
to
next
sentence
is
awkward.
 34
Kind
of
random
that
you
refer
back
to
yourself
using
the
school,
since
you
never
 really
touched
on
that.
 








7