Es Chuck Facts

// chuck norris facts v1.2 // configure below to your liking. // // install: // 1. the file should be here cstrike\addons\eventscripts\chuck_facts\es_chuck_facts.txt // 2. put "es_load chuck_facts" in your autoexec.cfg without the quotes. // 3. it will be activated upon restart of the server or when you type "es_load chuck_facts" manually. // 4. say "!chuck" in chat without the quotes. block load { // ======== configure here ======== // if corelib should be loaded (and unloaded) by this script, 1 = yes, 0 = no. if you already use it, you should set it to 0. es_xsetinfo chuckcorelib 0 // set the mode in which facts will be displayed through? (0 = !chuck only, 1 = advertised repeatedly only, 2 = both) es_xsetinfo chuckmode 2 // set time between each (advertised, if enabled) chuck fact in seconds es_xsetinfo chucktime 60 // set how often players can type !chuck (time in seconds) es_xsetinfo chuckdelay 10 // ===== stop configuring here ===== // edit nothing below this line, unless you want chuck to roundhouse kick you in the face! est_regsayhook "!chuck" 1 if (server_var(chuckcorelib) = "1") then es_load corelib es_xsetinfo chucktick 0 es_xsetinfo chuckexists 0 es_xexists chuckexists keygroup chuckgroup if (server_var(chuckexists) = "1") then es_xkeygroupdelete chuckgroup es_xkeygroupcreate chuckgroup es_xkeycreate chuckgroup chuckkey es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 1 "'brokeback mountain' is not just a movie. it's also what chuck norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 2 "'let the bodies hit the floor' was originally written as chuck norris' theme song." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 3 "'sweating bullets' is literally what happens when chuck norris gets too hot." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 4 "'icy-hot' is too weak for chuck norris. after a workout, chuck norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot magma." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 5 "182,000 americans die from chuck norrisrelated accidents every year." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 6 "70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of chuck norris' weight is his dick." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 7 "
chuck norris is worth 1 billion words." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 11 "a study showed the leading causes of death in the united states are: 1. heart disease, 2. chuck norris, 3. cancer" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 12 "according to einstein's theory of relativity, chuck norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 13 "according to the bible, god created the universe in six days. before that, chuck norris created god by snapping his fingers." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 14 "aliens do indeed exist. they just know better than to visit a planet that chuck norris is on." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 15 "aliens do exist. they're just waiting for chuck norris to die before they attack." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 16 "all roads lead to chuck norris. and by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 17 "along with his black belt, chuck norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. no one has dared call him on it. ever." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 18 "an anagram for walker texas ranger is karate wrangler sex. i don't know what that is, but it sounds awesome." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 19 "as president roosevelt said: 'we have nothing to fear but fear itself. and chuck norris.'" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 20 "as an infant, chuck norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. he gave the world stonehenge." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 21 "behind every successful man, there is a woman. behind every dead man, there is chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 22 "cnn was originally created as the 'chuck norris network' to update americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 23 "china was once bordering the united states, until chuck norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the earth." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 24 "chuck norris can believe it's not butter." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 25 "chuck norris can in fact 'raise the roof'. and he can do it with one hand." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 26 "chuck norris actually built the stairway to heaven." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 27 "chuck norris actually owns ibm. it was an extremely hostile takeover." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 28 "chuck norris always has sex on the first date. always." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 29 "chuck norris always knows the exact location of carmen sandiego." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 30 "chuck norris began selling the total gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 31 "chuck norris brings the noise and the funk." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 32 "chuck norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 33 "chuck norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 34 "chuck norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 35 "chuck norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 36 "chuck norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 37 "chuck norris can divide by zero." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 38 "chuck norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 39 "chuck norris can get blackjack with just

one card." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 40 "chuck norris can hold his breathe for nine years." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 41 "chuck norris can judge a book by its cover." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 42 "chuck norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 43 "chuck norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 44 "chuck norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 45 "chuck norris can piss into gale force winds." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 46 "chuck norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. at night." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 47 "chuck norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 48 "chuck norris can slam a revolving door." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 49 "chuck norris can sneeze with his eyes open." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 50 "chuck norris can split the atom. with his bare hands." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 51 "chuck norris can taste lies." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 52 "chuck norris can touch mc hammer." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 53 "chuck norris can turn normal water into holy water by beating the hell out of it with his fists." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 54 "chuck norris can watch an episode of 60 minutes in 22 seconds." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 55 "chuck norris can win a game of connect four in only three moves." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 56 "chuck norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 57 "chuck norris cannot love, he can only not kill." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 58 "chuck norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 59 "chuck norris counted to infinity twice." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 60 "chuck norris crossed the road. no one has ever dared question his motives." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 61 "chuck norris describes human beings as 'a sociable holder for blood and guts'." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 62 "chuck norris destroyed the periodic table, because chuck norris only recognizes the element of surprise." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 63 "chuck norris did in fact, build rome in a day." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 64 "chuck norris did not 'lose' his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 65 "chuck norris does know what willis is talking about!" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 66 "chuck norris does not 'style' his hair. it lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 67 "chuck norris does not eat. food understands that the only safe haven from chuck norris' fists is inside his own body." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 68 "chuck norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. chuck norris goes killing." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 69 "chuck norris does not know about this

website. if he did he would have just deleted the internet." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 70 "chuck norris does not own a house. he walks into random houses and people move." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 71 "chuck norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 72 "chuck norris does not play the lottery. it doesn't have nearly enough balls." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 73 "chuck norris does not procreate, he breeds" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 74 "chuck norris does not sleep. he waits." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 75 "chuck norris does not teabag the ladies. he potato-sacks them." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 76 "chuck norris does not wear a condom. because there is no such thing as protection from chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 77 "chuck norris does, in fact, live in a round house." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 78 "chuck norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 79 "chuck norris doesn't believe in germany." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 80 "chuck norris doesn't believe in ravioli. he stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 81 "chuck norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 82 "chuck norris doesn't chew gum. chuck norris chews tin foil." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 83 "chuck norris doesn't churn butter. he roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 84 "chuck norris doesn't daydream. he's too busy giving other people nightmares." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 85 "chuck norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. he refreshes webpages by blinking." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 86 "chuck norris doesn't have blood. he is filled with magma." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 87 "chuck norris doesn't kill two birds with one stone. chuck norris kills all birds, with two stones. the ones in his pants." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 88 "chuck norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 89 "chuck norris doesn't own a can opener, he just chews through the can." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 90 "chuck norris doesn't play god. playing is for children." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 91 "chuck norris doesn't read books. he stares them down until he gets the information he wants." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 92 "chuck norris doesn't say 'who's your daddy', because he knows the answer." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 93 "chuck norris doesn't see dead people. he makes people dead." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 94 "chuck norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 95 "chuck norris doesn't step on toes. chuck norris steps on necks." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 96 "chuck norris doesn't stub his toes. he accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 97 "chuck norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. chuck norris throws down!" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 98 "chuck norris doesnt have aids but he gives it to people anyway."

es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 99 "chuck norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. the only thing that can cut chuck norris is chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 100 "chuck norris doesnt use after shave, he uses liquid hot magma." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 101 "chuck norris doesnt wear a watch, he decides what time it is." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 102 "chuck norris doesn�t believe in germany." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 103 "chuck norris doesn�t eat. rather he kicks ass until he�s full." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 104 "chuck norris doesn�t need to swallow when eating food." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 105 "chuck norris doesn�t wash his clothes, he disembowels them." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 106 "chuck norris don't open no can of whoopass. he makes his own." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 107 "chuck norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 108 "chuck norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 109 "chuck norris eats a bowl of diamonds every morning." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 110 "chuck norris eats eight meals a day. seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 111 "chuck norris eats lightning and farts thunder." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 112 "chuck norris eats steak for every single meal. most times he forgets to kill the cow." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 113 "chuck norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 114 "chuck norris frequently donates blood to the red cross. just never his own." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 115 "chuck norris got a perfect score on his sat's, simply by writing chuck norris for every answer." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 116 "chuck norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. seconds." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 117 "chuck norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 118 "chuck norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. the tsunamis were killing people." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 119 "chuck norris has 12 moons. one of those moons is the earth." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 120 "chuck norris has 3 knees on each leg." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 121 "chuck norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 122 "chuck norris has already been to mars; that's why there are no signs of life there." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 123 "chuck norris has banned rainbows from the state of north dakota." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 124 "chuck norris has chunks of jean-claude van damme in his stool." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 125 "chuck norris has counted to infinity. twice." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 126 "chuck norris has held the world championship in every weight class at the same time." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 127 "chuck norris has never been in a fight, ever. do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 128 "chuck norris has never blinked in his entire life. never."

es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 129 "chuck norris has never won an academy award for acting... because he's not acting." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 130 "chuck norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 131 "chuck norris has two speeds: walk and kill." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 132 "chuck norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the rapture; he will spend his time fighting the anti-christ." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 133 "chuck norris invented all 32 letters of the alphabet." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 134 "chuck norris invented his own type of karate. it's called chuck-will-kill." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 135 "chuck norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 136 "chuck norris invented the internet� just so he had a place to store his porn." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 137 "chuck norris invented the question mark." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 138 "chuck norris invented water." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 139 "chuck norris is '' the best a man can get ''" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 140 "chuck norris is 1/8th cherokee. this has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking indian." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 141 "chuck norris is luke skywalker�s real father." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 142 "chuck norris is a man of few words. chuck norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 143 "chuck norris is currently suing nbc, claiming law and order are trademarked names for his left and right legs." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 144 "chuck norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 145 "chuck norris is his own line at the dmv." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 146 "chuck norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 147 "chuck norris is not irish. his hair is soaked in the blood of his victims." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 148 "chuck norris is not politically correct. he is just correct. always." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 149 "chuck norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 150 "chuck norris is not only a noun, but a verb." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 151 "chuck norris is so bad he makes viruses sick. as such, chuck norris is also responsible for the eradication of smallpox." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 152 "chuck norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 153 "chuck norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. on his penis." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 154 "chuck norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 155 "chuck norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. with his fists." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 156 "chuck norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 157 "chuck norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against ray charles and stevie wonder at the same time." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 158 "chuck norris is the reason why waldo is hiding."

es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 159 "chuck norris is what willis was talking about" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 160 "chuck norris isn�t lactose intolerant. he just doesn�t put up with lactose�s shit." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 161 "chuck norris just says 'no' to drugs. if he said 'yes', it would collapse colombia's infrastructure." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 162 "chuck norris kicked neo out of zion , now neo is 'the two'" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 163 "chuck norris knows everything there is to know - except for the definition of mercy." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 164 "chuck norris knows the last digit of pi." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 165 "chuck norris knows where carmen sandiego is." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 166 "chuck norris let the dogs out." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 167 "chuck norris likes cherry chewing gum. he spits the used-up red wads to jupiter, where they've been accumulating." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 168 "chuck norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 169 "chuck norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 170 "chuck norris made ellen degeneres straight." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 171 "chuck norris make onions cry!!!" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 172 "chuck norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 173 "chuck norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 174 "chuck norris never wet his bed as a child. the bed wet itself out of fear." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 175 "chuck norris never �gets laid�, rather: �laid gets chuck�." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 176 "chuck norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 177 "chuck norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. they made him blink." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 178 "chuck norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and mister miyagi from karate kid." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 179 "chuck norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 180 "chuck norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. he spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 181 "chuck norris once bench-pressed the entire state of ohio, and all of its residents." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 182 "chuck norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 183 "chuck norris once challenged lance armstrong in a 'who has more testicles?' contest. chuck norris won by 5." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 184 "chuck norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 185 "chuck norris once had sex with a cigarette machine in the osaka airport." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 186 "chuck norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 187 "chuck norris once kicked a horse in the chin. its decendants are known today as giraffes." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 188 "chuck norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. the steak did what it was told." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 189 "chuck norris once participated in the

running of the bulls. he walked." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 190 "chuck norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 191 "chuck norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 192 "chuck norris once round-house kicked a salesman. over the phone." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 193 "chuck norris once roundhouse-kicked a ten dollar bill into 200 nickels." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 194 "chuck norris once shat blood - the blood of 11,940 natives he had killed and eaten." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 195 "chuck norris once shot a spitball, but promised never to do it again. one grand canyon is enough." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 196 "chuck norris once shot down a german fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, 'bang!'" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 197 "chuck norris once skewered a man with the eiffel tower." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 198 "chuck norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. there we no survivors." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 199 "chuck norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. one grand canyon is enough." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 200 "chuck norris only masturbates to pictures of chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 201 "chuck norris ordered a big mac at burger king, and got one." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 202 "chuck norris played russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 203 "chuck norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 204 "chuck norris proved that we are alone in the universe. we weren't before his first space expedition." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 205 "chuck norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. the only difference is, then he kills people." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 206 "chuck norris puts the laughter in manslaughter." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 207 "chuck norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the daytona 500, without a car." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 208 "chuck norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. we know this beverage as red bull." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 209 "chuck norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. they wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 210 "chuck norris roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 211 "chuck norris runs on batteries. specifically, die hards." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 212 "chuck norris sheds his skin twice a year." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 213 "chuck norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 214 "chuck norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 215 "chuck norris smells what the rock is cooking... because the rock is chuck norris' personal chef." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 216 "chuck norris stared evil in the face, and it backed down" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 217 "chuck norris successfully seperated twins conjoined at the head by roundkicking them in the face."

es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 218 "chuck norris trick-or-treated as himself as a child." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 219 "chuck norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 220 "chuck norris uses tabasco sauce for eye drops." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 221 "chuck norris uses a night light. not because chuck norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 222 "chuck norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 223 "chuck norris visits an active volcano every morning to get some of 'the best damn espresso on earth'." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 224 "chuck norris was once a knight in king arthur's court. he was known as sir beatdown." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 225 "chuck norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 226 "chuck norris was what willis was talkin' about." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 227 "chuck norris wears orion's belt around his pinky toe and he eats with the big dipper." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 228 "chuck norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 229 "chuck norris will attain statehood in 2009. his state flower will be the magnolia." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 230 "chuck norris will never have a heart attack. his heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 231 "chuck norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 232 "chuck norris won super bowls vii and viii singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 233 "chuck norris' penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 234 "chuck norris' beard hair is believed to be an aphrodisiac in china." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 235 "chuck norris' credit cards have no limit. last weekend, he maxed them out." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 236 "chuck norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 237 "chuck norris' favorite cereal is kellogg's marbles 'n' gravel." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 238 "chuck norris' favorite cereal is kellogg's nails 'n' gravel." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 239 "chuck norris' first job was as a paperboy. there were no survivors." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 240 "chuck norris' ipod came with a real charger instead of just a usb cord" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 241 "chuck norris' penis has a hemi." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 242 "chuck norris' pulse is measured on the richter scale." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 243 "chuck norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. each one is the size of a quarter." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 244 "chuck norris' tears cure cancer. too bad he has never cried. ever." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 245 "chuck norris' theory of relativity goes like this: cn = p10. in laymans terms, chuck norris = pain to the tenth power." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 246 "chuck norris's body temperature is 98.6 degrees... celsius."

es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 247 "chuck norris's show is called walker: texas ranger, because chuck norris doesn't run." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 248 "chuck norris's sweat has burned holes in concrete." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 249 "chuck norris� favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 250 "chuck norris� house has no doors, only walls that he walks through." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 251 "chuck norris� roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 252 "chuck norris doesnt go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of norris" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 253 "chuck norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 254 "contrary to popular belief, america is not a democracy, it is a chucktatorship." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 255 "contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough chuck norris to go around." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 256 "coroners refer to dead people as 'abc's'. already been chucked." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 257 "count from one to ten. that's how long it would take chuck norris to kill you...fourty seven times." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 258 "crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following walker, texas ranger, on a routine patrol." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 259 "crop circles are chuck norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 260 "dinosaurs went extinct because of the chuck norrisaurus." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 261 "divide chuck norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 262 "do you know why baskin robbins only has 31 flavors? because chuck norris doesn't like fudge ripple." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 263 "earth's emergency defence plan in case of alien invasion is chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 264 "everybody loves raymond. except chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 265 "everything king midas touches turnes to gold. everything chuck norris touches turns up dead." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 266 "fact: chuck norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 267 "fool me once, shame on you. fool chuck norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 268 "for chuck norris, every street is 'one way'. his way." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 269 "for spring break '05, chuck norris drove to madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 270 "for most people, home is where the heart is. for chuck norris, home is where he stores his collection of human skulls." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 271 "for some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. for chuck norris, each testicle is larger than the other one." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 272 "for undercover police work, chuck norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 273 "god offered chuck norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 274 "godzilla is a japanese rendition of chuck norris' first visit to tokyo." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 275 "google won't search for chuck norris because it knows you don't find chuck norris, he finds you."

es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 276 "guantuanamo bay, cuba, is the military code-word for 'chuck norris' basement'." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 277 "he who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. he who lives by chuck norris, dies by the roundhouse kick." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 278 "he, who laughs last, laughs best. he who laughs at chuck norris � dies." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 279 "helen keller�s favorite color is chuck norris" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 280 "how many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? just one. from chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 281 "how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck norris? ...all of it." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 282 "if chuck norris is late, time better slow the fuck down" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 283 "if chuck norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 284 "if chuck norris were a calendar, every month would be named chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 285 "if superman and the flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 286 "if at first you don't succeed, you're not chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 287 "if he were to eat raw coal, chuck norris would excrete diamonds." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 288 "if paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? answer: chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 289 "if tapped, a chuck norris roundhouse kick could power the country of australia for 44 minutes." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 290 "if you google search 'chuck norris getting his ass kicked' you will generate zero results. it just doesn't happen." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 291 "if you can see chuck norris, he can see you. if you can't see chuck norris, you may be only seconds away from death." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 292 "if you have five dollars and chuck norris has five dollars, chuck norris has more money than you." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 293 "if you rearrange the letters in 'chuck norris', they also spell 'crush rock in'. the words 'with his fists' are understood." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 294 "if you spell chuck norris in scrabble, you win. forever." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 295 "if you want a list of chuck norris� enemies, just check the extinct species list." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 296 "if you work in an office with chuck norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 297 "if, by some incredible space-time paradox, chuck norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. period." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 298 "in desert storm the reason why the iraqi army surrendered so quickly because they knew chuck norris was coming." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 299 "in a fight between batman and darth vader, the winner would be chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 300 "in an average living room there are 1,242 objects chuck norris could use to kill you, including the room itself." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 301 "in an emergency, chuck norris can be used as a floatation device." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 302 "in the bible, jesus turned water into wine. but then chuck norris turned that wine into beer." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 303 "in the medical community, death is referred to as 'chuck norris disease'"

es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 304 "industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. chuck norris needs toothpicks." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 305 "instead of having a cigarette after sex, chuck norris heads outside and brands his cattle." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 306 "ironically, chuck norris� hidden talent is invisibility." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 307 "it is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. that's true if you want to call chuck norris a giant meteor." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 308 "it is better to give than to receive. this is especially true of a chuck norris roundhouse kick." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 309 "it is said that every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten. every time god masturbates, chuck norris kills a lion." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 310 "it takes 14 puppeteers to make chuck norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 311 "it takes chuck norris 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 312 "jean-claude van damme once kicked chuck norris' ass. he was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 313 "jesus can walk on water, but chuck norris can walk on jesus." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 314 "july 4th is independence day. and the day chuck norris was born. coincidence? i think not." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 315 "kenny g is allowed to live because chuck norris doesn't kill women." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 316 "lightning never strikes twice in one place because chuck norris is looking for it." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 317 "little miss muffet sat on her tuffet, until chuck norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 318 "love does not hurt. chuck norris does." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 319 "most boots are made for walkin'. chuck norris' boots ain't that merciful." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 320 "most people fear the reaper. chuck norris considers him 'a promising rookie'." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 321 "most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. chuck norris has 72... and they're all poisonous." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 322 "most tough men eat nails for breakfast. chuck norris does all of his grocery shopping at home depot." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 323 "movie trivia: the movie 'invasion u.s.a.' is, in fact, a documentary." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 324 "mr. t pities the fool. chuck norris rips the fool's head off." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 325 "multiple people have died from chuck norris giving them the finger." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 326 "nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. chuck norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 327 "never look a gift chuck norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 328 "ninjas want to grow up to be just like chuck norris. but usually they grow up just to be killed by chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 329 "no matter what your mother always said, chuck norris can tune a fish." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 330 "noah was the only man notified before chuck norris relieved himself in the atlantic ocean." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 331 "nobody doesn't like sara lee. except chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 332 "not everyone that chuck norris is mad at

gets killed. some get away. they are called astronauts." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 333 "on his birthday, chuck norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 334 "on the sat if you put chuck norris for every answer you will score over 8000" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 335 "once you go norris, you are physically unable to go back." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 336 "one day chuck norris walked down the street with a massive erection. there were no survivors." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 337 "one time, chuck norris accidentally stubbed his toe. it destroyed the entire state of ohio." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 338 "one time, at band camp, chuck norris ate a percussionist." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 339 "only chuck norris can prevent forest fires." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 340 "ozzy osbourne bites the heads off of bats. chuck norris bites the heads off of siberian tigers." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 341 "paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but chuck norris beats all 3 at the same time." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 342 "pee wee herman got arrested for masturbating in public. the same day, chuck norris got an award for masturbating in public." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 343 "people created the automobile to escape from chuck norris...not to be outdone, chuck norris created the automobile accident." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 344 "people have often asked the united states, what is your secret weapon against terrorists? we simply reply...chuck norris" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 345 "police label anyone attacking chuck norris as a code 45-11.... a suicide." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 346 "president roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. chuck norris carried his the same distance in half the time." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 347 "q: how many chuck norris' does it take to change a light bulb? a: none, chuck norris prefers to kill in the dark." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 348 "rather than being birthed like a normal child, chuck norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother�s womb." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 349 "remember the ultimate warrior? he quit wrestling because chuck norris wanted his nickname back." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 350 "rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and chuck norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 351 "rules of fighting: 1) don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) don't bring a gun to a chuck norris fight." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 352 "science fact: roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called chucktanium." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 353 "scientists believe the world began with the 'big bang'. chuck norris shrugs it off as a 'bad case of gas'." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 354 "simply by pulling on both ends, chuck norris can stretch diamonds back into coal." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 355 "since 1940, the year chuck norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 356 "some kids play kick the can. chuck norris played kick the keg." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 357 "some people ask for a kleenex when they sneeze, chuck norris asks for a body bag." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 358 "some people like to eat frogs' legs. chuck norris likes to eat lizard legs. hence, snakes." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 359 "some people say that chuck norris is a myth. those 'some people' are now dead."

es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 360 "some people say, 'once you go black, you never go back.' however, once you go norris, you are physically unable to go back." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 361 "some people wear superman pajamas. superman wears chuck norris pajamas." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 362 "someone once videotaped chuck norris getting pissed off. it was called walker: texas chain saw masacre." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 363 "sticks and stones may break your bones, but a chuck norris glare will liquefy your kidneys." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 364 "superman once watched an episode of walker, texas ranger. he then cried himself to sleep." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 365 "tnt was originally developed by chuck norris to cure indigestion." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 366 "that's not chuck norris doing push-ups -that's chuck norris moving the earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 367 "the bermuda triangle used to be the bermuda square, until chuck norris roundhouse kicked one of the corners off." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 368 "the bible was originally titled 'chuck norris and friends'" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 369 "the drummer for def leppard's only got one arm. chuck norris needed a back scratcher." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 370 "the first law of thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 371 "the first rule of chuck norris is: you do not talk about chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 372 "the four horsemen of the apocalypse actually live in chuck norris's nutsack." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 373 "the great wall of china was originally created to keep chuck norris out. it failed miserably." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 374 "the united states could save billions in defense funding if they trade the military for chuck norris" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 375 "the active ingredient in red bull is chuck norris's sweat." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 376 "the air around chuck norris is always a balmy 78 degrees." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 377 "the best part of waking up, is not folgers in your cup, but knowing that chuck norris didn't kill you in your sleep." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 378 "the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. even the worst-laid plans of chuck norris come off without a hitch." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 379 "the chief export of chuck norris is pain." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 380 "the easiest way to determine chuck norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 381 "the helicopter was invented after chuck norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 382 "the last thing you hear before chuck norris gives you a roundhouse kick? no one knows because dead men tell no tales." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 383 "the only sure things are death and taxes�and when chuck norris goes to work for the irs, they'll be the same thing." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 384 "the original title for star wars was 'skywalker: texas ranger'. starring chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 385 "the pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 386 "the quickest way to a man's heart is with chuck norris' fist." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 387 "the speed of light was instituted because chuck norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. chuck norris hates to sweat." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 388 "the square root of chuck norris is pain.

do not try to square chuck norris, the result is death." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 389 "the truth will set you free. unless chuck norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 390 "the wind of chuck norris�s round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 391 "the word 'kill' was invented by chuck norris. other words were 'die', 'beer', and 'what'." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 392 "the world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 393 "there are no disabled people. only people who have met chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 394 "there are no races, only countries of people chuck norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 395 "there are no steroids in baseball. just players chuck norris has breathed on." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 396 "there are no such things as tornados. chuck norris just hates trailer parks." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 397 "there are no weapons of mass destruction in iraq, chuck norris lives in oklahoma." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 398 "there are no weapons of mass destruction. just chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 399 "there are now five cup sizes at starbucks: short, tall, grande, venti, and chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 400 "there are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 401 "there are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 402 "there is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. well it does exist, and chuck norris finds it delicious." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 403 "there is in fact an �i� in norris, but there is no �team�� not even close." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 404 "there is no control button on chuck norris' computer. chuck norris is always in control." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 405 "there is no chin behind chuck norris' beard. there is only another fist." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 406 "there is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 407 "there is no such thing as global warming. chuck norris was cold, so he turned the sun up." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 408 "there is no such thing as tornados. chuck norris just hates trailer parks." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 409 "there is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures chuck norris allows to live." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 410 "there�s an order to the universe: space, time, chuck norris.... just kidding, chuck norris is first." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 411 "they once made a chuck norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 412 "they say curiosity killed the cat. this is false. chuck norris killed the cat. every single one of them." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 413 "think of a hot woman. chuck norris did her." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 414 "time waits for no man. unless that man is chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 415 "to be or not to be? that is the question. the answer? chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 416 "tom clancy has to pay royalties to chuck norris because 'the sum of all fears' is the name of chuck norris' autobiography."

es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 417 "two wrongs don't make a right. unless you're chuck norris. then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 418 "we live in an expanding universe. all of it is trying to get away from chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 419 "what was going through the minds of all of chuck norris' victims before they died? his shoe." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 420 "when bruce banner gets mad, he turns into the hulk. when the hulk gets mad, he turns into chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 421 "when chuck norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. he holds up the phone and money falls out." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 422 "when chuck norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. he holds up the phone and money falls out." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 423 "when chuck norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the earth down." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 424 "when chuck norris falls in water, chuck norris doesn't get wet. water gets chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 425 "when chuck norris goes to vegas, he doesn't have to gamble. the casinos just give him stacks of money." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 426 "when chuck norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 427 "when chuck norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 428 "when chuck norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 429 "when chuck norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. it will be because he has run out of women." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 430 "when chuck norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. he walks through them." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 431 "when chuck norris is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 432 "when chuck norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 433 "when chuck norris plays monopoly, it affects the actual world economy." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 434 "when chuck norris says 'more cowbell', he means it." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 435 "when chuck norris sneeze, he don't say 'atchoo' he says 'die everyone!!!'. that's what happens next." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 436 "when chuck norris spits out watermelon seeds, he puts a machine gun to shame" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 437 "when chuck norris talks, everybody listens. and dies." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 438 "when chuck norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 439 "when chuck norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. his mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 440 "when chuck norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. never slap chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 441 "when chuck norris works out on the total gym, the total gym feels like it's been raped." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 442 "when god said, 'let there be light', chuck norris said, 'say 'please'.'" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 443 "when steven seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. when chuck norris kills a ninja, he uses every part." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 444 "when chuck norris does division, there are no remainders." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 445 "when somebody yells 'last one in is a

rotten egg,' chuck norris is never the rotten egg." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 446 "when taking the sat, write 'chuck norris' for every answer. you will score over 8000." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 447 "when the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for chuck norris." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 448 "when you open a can of whoop-ass, chuck norris jumps out." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 449 "when you say 'no one's perfect', chuck norris takes this as a personal insult." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 450 "when you're chuck norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. one roundhouse kick to the face." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 451 "while urinating, chuck norris is easily capable of welding titanium." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 452 "who let the dogs out? chuck norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an oldsmobile." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 453 "whoever said 'only the good die young' was probably in chuck norris's kindergarten class." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 454 "wilt chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. chuck norris calls this 'a slow tuesday.'" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 455 "with the rising cost of gasoline, chuck norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit." es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 456 "wo hu cang long. the translation from mandarin chinese reads: 'crouching chuck, hidden norris'" es_xkeysetvalue chuckgroup chuckkey 457 "you can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink, unless you�re chuck norris" } event es_map_start { if (server_var(chuckmode) > 0) do { repeat delete chuckadvert repeat create chuckadvert "es_xdoblock chuck_facts/chuckadvertblock" es repeat start chuckadvert server_var(chucktime) } } block chuckadvertblock { es_xsetinfo chucknumber 0 es_xsetinfo chuckfact 0 es_xrand chucknumber 1 457 es_keygetvalue chuckfact chuckgroup chuckkey server_var(chucknumber) es_msg #green server_var(chuckfact) } event est_sayhook { if ("!chuck" in event_var(hooktext)) do { if (server_var(chuckmode) != 1) do { es_xdoblock chuck_facts/chuckcommand } } }

block chuckcommand { if (server_var(chucktick) = "0") do { es_xsetinfo chucktick 1 es_delayed server_var(chuckdelay) es_xsetinfo chucktick 0 es_xsetinfo chucknumber 0 es_xsetinfo chuckfact 0 es_xrand chucknumber 1 457 es_keygetvalue chuckfact chuckgroup chuckkey server_var(chucknumber) es_msg #green server_var(chuckfact) } } block unload { es_xkeygroupdelete chuckgroup es_xsetinfo chucknumber 0 es_xsetinfo chuckfact 0 if (server_var(chuckcorelib) = "1") then es_unload corelib es_xsetinfo chuckcorelib 0 es_xsetinfo chuckmode 0 es_xsetinfo chucktime 0 es_xsetinfo chuckdelay 0 es_xsetinfo chucktick 0 est_unregsayhook "!chuck" }