Eight Vignettes Of 1968

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Chapter One 1968-1 Itchycoo Park Are you Fred? Yes! Are you Bunch? Yes! Come in! Come in then, everyone's told me about you! A tanned smiling face poked round the corner of door to the Music Room; I didn't think of it as my Music Room yet. The Music Rooms were two carrels jammed between the serenity of the chapel and the madness of the kitchen at the East End of the Boarding House at Archies on the Hull Road in York. Well, they were rooms if you could call a four-foot by eight-foot space a room. My Music Room had an abandoned tea-trolley in one corner, probably left there by Cook after being asked to make tea once too often, or even once, and a bench. It was the sort of wobbly, wooden bench that professional footballers on the maximum wage would have sat on in the 1960s. In the end, we decided it was less comfortable than the floor and Bunch would smuggle in sofa cushions for us to sit on. Today, however, sunlight beamed in through the narrow window at the end of the room. It was that preternaturally bright sunlight that we associate with an Indian summer and which leaves an afterglow in the memory. My record player was parked on top of the Tea Trolley, the record collection occupied the crockery area, and together they provided some class to lift the bareness of the room. Wow, is that a stereo record player? Yes. Is that Sgt Peppers? And Are You Experienced? In stereo? Yes. You've got the albums in stereo? They are all in stereo, of course! And you've really got to hear the effects. They are brilliant on Pepper and on Hendrix, especially on Third Stone from the Sun. Do you want to listen to them? I love Third Stone from the Sun! What stereo effects on Pepper do you like? Good Morning! Good Morning! Good Morning? Good Morning? Why? You know, that bit at the end where all the animals chase each other round the stereo. I used to play it every morning in my dorm when I got up. I woke everyone up in the dorm with Pepper last term! What? You could play records in your dorm at Boarding School? Yeah! Of course! Mind you, all of us were fifth formers, so that's why we were allowed. It was such a great term last summer, despite the exams. Tell me about it, bloody O-levels! Yeah, awful! So how did you manage to get a record player in here then, in the Music Room? It's never had a record player before. I asked that fat bloke... 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Sweeney? Yes... he said that I could put it in here, as long as I let anyone who had records use it as well. What did you say? Well I said that as long as I am in the room when they use my stereo then I didn't mind. And he agreed? Yeah, and then Andy helped me set it and here we are, a Music Room for Pop Music! Sweeney let you have the room, and then Andy helped you set it up? Yeah! Why not? What's so special about that? I've been trying to get a place to play records here for five years! What happened, did Andy thrash you at Table Tennis and then feel sorry for you? 22-20 in the final set thank you! The whole house was watching by then so I figured it wasn't a good idea to win; just let him know I could go close if I wanted to. But he's captain of the school Table Tennis team, and captain of most of our sports teams. Yeah so I found out... Close call there! Is he a runner too? Yeah, captain of the cross-country team. Why? Never mind; still at least I am in the school Table Tennis team now. When did all this happen? On my first day here. On your first day here! No wonder you're famous. Famous? What do you mean famous? Well, I've only talked to three kids since I got back and they all said, “You've got to meet Fred” Well everyone said to me you've got to meet Bunch, so we're quits there! Bunch? Sugar Pie Honey Bunch, he said with some reluctance. Four Tops? Tamla Motown! We shared our first smiles. What's that under your arm? Oh, three new singles I bought on my way back from the station. I haven't a clue if they're any good or not as I haven't heard them yet; do you mind if I use your record player? You haven't heard them yet? No. I've been in Nigeria all summer and I haven't heard any new Pop Music. We smiled at the shared incantation; three singles, two smiles, one friendship... My kind of bloke Bunch, gets off the train, walks straight to the record store and buys three records he's never heard before. Then has to get the bus to school carrying all his bags, as he's broke. Brilliant! And they won’t let me out of school again til next Saturday so I knew I had 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett to buy them as soon as I got here or I'd go nuts waiting for something new. I was impressed; this was a guy thinking ahead. And for all the right reasons. So how did you pick them then if you hadn't heard any of them? Well, Small Faces! Yeah, Obviously. You like the Small Faces? Sha la lee! Is it Itchycoo Park? Yeah? Put it on then!! Bunch took over as though we had been doing this for years. Great drums! Over bridge of sighs to rest my eyes in shades of green under dreaming spires to Itchycoo Park that's where I've been Where's Itchycoo Park then? You bought the record! You're English! I'm not a cockney though; may-tee!! I tried, unsuccessfully, to drawl with a Cockney accent. Stevie and the other little Faces went into the intricate kind of lead singer call and response with the rest of the group that Tony had pointed out that The Beatles were doing on From Me To You. It lifted the record and lead it into their incantatory belief in how it's all too beautiful; the real title of the record after all. What did you do there? I got high What did you feel there? Well I cried But why the tears there? I'll tell you why! It's all too beautiful It's all too beautiful! See it's a hippy song! Fantastic. Its not very RnB though is it? They've really changed haven't they? Yeah! But in a good way, they've gone progressive like the Beatles and Hendrix... It's all too beautiful It's all too beautiful It's all too beautiful 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Listen, doesn't that just make you really happy? Bunch, who hadn't even heard Itchycoo Park once yet, let out a warm smile. I feel include to blow my mind Get off; feed the ducks with a bun they all come out to groove about be nice and have fun in the sun. We knew it was a hippy song because Stevie Marriott recommended feeding ducks in the Park, which we knew no one ever did. I was just back from two years in Germany and Bunch was just back from Nigeria, so we knew it was just a bit of hippy surrealism as nothing that they were singing about ever happened in real life. Itchycoo Park was really great stuff, and it was clearly lifting Bunch's spirits as he listened to Pop Music again, even if Itchycoo Park was such a mad name. It was quite clearly made up by a hippy. Actually you'd look like Stevie Marriott if you parted your hair in the middle. And give up my Beatles cut? Well they have! Yeah, but it's taken me five years to get it like this. Well they are demons with haircuts here, so you'll lose it anyway. Part it in the middle and you can keep all the hair on top. They never bother with the top. Anyway Mods are cool in York. Hmm, maybe, I'll have to think about it. You don't have a matron though do you? No, just old bald features; and he decides when you have to go and get your haircut. In Germany the Barber came to the Boarding School and we had to line up in the corridor on matron’s work to get it all taken off! What a nightmare...Oh hang on, listen to that; Phased drumming marked the shift of the record to the second verse, with some great call and response again between Stevie and the other Faces, as though they were his mates playing down on their recce on a lazy Saturday afternoon. Doing the Lennon and McCartney thing of having lots of variations within a simple format. I tell you what I'll do I'd like to go there now with you You can miss out school Bunch burst out laughing; Miss out school! 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett I raised my eyes in agreement Won't that be cool? Why go to learn the words of fools “Why go to learn the words of fools”, echoed Bunch "What does that mean?" I chorused in reply, wrongly as it would transpire when we finally decoded the lyrics. We locked smiles as we shared thoughts in this tiny meeting place behind the chapel at school. Brilliant; what other records have you got? Traffic, he said triumphantly. I froze; Not Hole In My Shoe? His smile faded. The Small Faces locked into their mutually celebratory call and response again, reaching for the sky yet again just as our mutuality faltered and headed for tears. What will we do there? We'll get high! What will we touch there? We'll touch the sky! But why the tears there? I'll tell you why! Hole In My Shoe is a novelty record, why did you buy that? I still haven't heard it! Remember? Anyway I think Paper Sun is the best single so far this year. Isn't it just! What a brilliant hippy song. But Hole in My Shoe is so disappointing after that. What else have you got? Spencer Davis Group! Time Seller? Yeah, is that OK? He asked hesitantly, is it their usual RnB? It isn't RnB, it's completely different, but it is really interesting and it only came out yesterday, so brilliant choice! I wanted to encourage Bunch's blind purchases, after I'd inadvertently put him down. It's It's It's It's

all all all all

too too too too

beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful

63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett We sang along to the uplifting chorus; just the tonic we needed before yet another week locked up in school. I had finally reach the status of a sixth former and my reward was to be locked up in a single sex school with our sister girl school miles away on the other side of town. In loco parentis; that way madness lies. I feel inclined to blow my mind Get off; feed the ducks with a bun they all come out to groove about be nice and have fun in the sun. Feed the ducks with a bun! Yeah, in Home Counties cardigans I bet; that's really funny. And groovy ducks, So not Donald then, Or Ebenezer! I reckon its Stevie Duck! Yeah!! It's all It's all It's all It's all Hah!

too too too too

beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful

Hah! Bunch and I were grooving with the spirit of the song and we weren't inclined to stay quiet and observe the traditions of our 513-year-old school. It's It's It's It's

all all all all

too too too too

beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful

We put on Time Seller and admired its distinctive, original, string-driven sound, but it wasn't the Spencer Davis Group of our youth. They obviously missed Stevie Winwood, and, going by Hole in My Shoe, so did Traffic , even though it was only their second single. Bunch had gone with the brands, but it would be another few months before Traffic finally succeeding in getting it together in the country. Are you going to let me play Hole In My Shoe? Not whilst I'm in the room. But it's a Dave Mason song! Exactly! You know what, countered Bunch, I reckon Itchycoo Park is the real follow up to Paper Sun! Yeah it is, isn't it! I wish groups would learn to get it right... Do you think we are actually going to get some new progressive groups then? Lets hope so! 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Bunch was going to get me looking like Stevie Marriot and thinking like John Lennon.

63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Chapter Two 1968-4 I Am the Walrus How do you gatecrash a party? We'll just say that we've come from Bills around the corner and that he told us that you're running an open house. Do you think they'll let us in? You think they'll be sober after nine o'clock? I've been in this town so long that back in the city We were in a very clean and unpre-possessing German bar in Düsseldorf, well Hubbelrath a suburb on the edge of filled with British soldiers. The three of us were perched on wonderful stainless steel bar stools nursing our pils whilst we waited for the great mass of squaddies, wives, girlfriends, family old and young to get royally pissed. I've been taken for lost and gone and unknown for a long long time The furniture would have looked perfect in a Malibu home surveying the Pacific but we were just arraigned in front of its 13 foot 4 metre bar. We had picked some tunes into the jukebox by the door and all six bare tables in the place were empty. Fell in love years ago with an innocent girl from the Spanish and Indian home of the Heroes and Villains The Germans didn't seem to be celebrating New Years Eve, which was a surprise. Mind you nor were they challenging us Brits to rematches of the 1966 World Cup Final any more, which they still believed (and still do so in the 21st Century) we had cheated them out of thanks to "das dritte torn". We kept telling them that we won 4-2, but they wouldn't go back into their boxes like they did in the fifties before the country's "wirtschaftswunder" of the early sixties gave them their confidence back. The quiet, and somewhat echoey bar was probably easy to clean up after Saturday excesses, but that was about all it had to recommend it. We were just building up our Dutch courage with the expensive local beer and our nervous jollity filled the bar. Hi I'm Andrew, Sgt Scott's son, and we've just come from Bill's round the corner, it's packed out there. Come in son! Who are your mates? I'm Fred! I'm Tom! What do you want to drink then lads? We've got enough duty-free in here to sink the Sergeants Mess. Three Beers I think. 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Come on lads, its duty free all night! We've got everything in, even vodka! Oh, thanks, could I have a vodka and lime please? Fatally I changed my mind in the face of this generous offer as I'd heard that vodka and lime (was it a gimlet?) was Jackie Kennedy's favourite drink, so it seemed like the height of sophistication to my sixteen year old taste. Rum and Coke! I'll stick to beer thanks, I'll probably have to get these two home later. We were in! Somewhat unfortunately as it turned out, because we became their entertainment for the evening. There were just three already drunk and sozzled couples sitting around the living room and they were looking at us expectantly to brighten up their evening as the clock slipped slowly between nine and twelve. All the drinks arrived in front of us in pint glasses with the injunction to get them down whilst second pints of vodka and lime and rum and coke were prepared to get us "in the mood" for the celebrations. We were interrogated on what we were doing and it was obvious they realised we were gate crashing but with drinks of vodka coming in at less than sixpence a pint no one really cared. Except it wasn’t any more joyful as a party than the empty German bar had been. Where was the music to lift everyone's spirits? There was just half a dozen lonely people, far from home and their families getting steadily drunk. Tom said it first, as soon as the alcohol kicked in, and we realised we were sitting down chatting up forty-year-old wives instead of dancing with the teenage girls we spent hours talking about getting off with. Where did Diane and Rhonda say they were going? They were going to Bill's, but it's invite only, we've got no chance of gate crashing there. Look, whatever happens we are well in here aren't we. If we don't get into Bills Andy will just let us back in again; I bet Bill's back door is unlocked anyway, he's from Glasgow. Fred tell Andy you've just remembered that you've left your wallet at Bill's or something! I readily agreed to anything that would get us out of this suffocating parlour. OK then. Do you think Rhonda will be there? I've really got a crush on her. She's the most perfect dolly bird with her bob-cut and mini-dresses. All the birds are there, it'll be mini-skirt heaven, Well I want to give her a midnight kiss... Come on then, get us out of here! Hey Bill, we are looking for Diane and Rhonda, we were supposed to meet them earlier but we seemed to have lost them. Come in lads! Yes they're inside with all their friends, we wondered why you 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett weren't here. I am he as you are he, as you are me as we are all together The odd strains of the strings from the opening of I Am The Walrus were striking up in the background as we squeezed past the dozens of coats hanging up in the corridor. The release of a new Beatles single was still a major social event and people played both sides endlessly to work out which side they liked best. Phew, that's more like it and some bloody music at last. Third time lucky! see how they run like pigs from a gun The trough's in the Kitchen lads, get yourself some food and anything you fancy to drink, no limits. Mind you, you lads look merry enough anyway. The girls are on the dance floor, you've just missed Hello Goodbye, they're playing the Bside now. Bloody weird those Beatles. See how they fly; I'm crying Crying? I don’t think so! Flying more like… Sitting on a cornflake waiting for the van to come Two more pints into terminal vodka poisoning I switched to beer hoping it would help me get through to my midnight kiss. I'm going to kiss Rhonda. Aren't you going out with Carol? Oh she finished with me when I went back to England, she's got some squaddie boyfriend now. Lucky bastards those squaddies, they get all the girls. They've got money and they can take them to the Junior Mess, what would you do if you were a sixteen year old girl stuck out in Germany? Wait for us to come back from Boarding School? No! Go out with me of course! Corporation T-shirt Stupid bloody Tuesday Man You've been a naughty boy You let your face grow long Rhonda was the Jane Asher of our circle. A tall full-figured redhead, always wearing a very short minidress, her head framed by her hair like some preRaphaelite muse. I was dying for her to muse me, as long as it led to a kiss. She 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett was the perfect sixties dolly bird and generally recognised as the class bird of Hubbelrath. She went to the Girls School in Hamm, but wasn't in Balmoral so I could only talk to her during the holidays; she had exactly the look every girl wanted for Christmas 1967. I am the egg man I are the egg men I am the walrus Goo Goo Guh Joob She was dancing in the front room, in a halo of light with which she stood out from all the other girls. At least she is as I recall it from the very edges of my working memory; which gave up on me just after I spotted her. Mr. City Police men sitting pretty little policemen in a row. See how they fly, like Lucy in the Sky see how they run There are Military Police here, they'll nab us for underage drinking. Don’t be stupid! They are off duty. Anyway they want to dance with the girls and half of them are underage, and pretty willing too. There's no way they are going to cause us trouble unless we cut in on them. They are either on duty, and shouldn’t be here, or off duty getting drunk. Thank God for that! Isn't it great watching the girls dance? It’s just like Ready Steady Go. I'm I'm I'm I'm

crying crying (oohhh) crying crying

Am I dead? No we are walking you home I fell like I'm....floating... ...like I'm... ...in heaven yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dogs eye Are your eyes closed? It’s filthy out here, and cold I can't feel the cold; doesn't that mean I'm dead? Come on move your legs now you are awake, you're just dead weight! Where are we? Pass the wood, bout ten minutes from your house What happened? Well we were all dancing at Bills and then Rhonda invited us back to her house to see in the New Year. So we could all snog the New Year in. 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Really! She did? Yeah, and Diane was really pissed off Diane? Why? You kissed Rhonda at midnight. Crobberlocker fishwife pornographic priestess I kissed Rhonda!? Yeah, lucky bastard! Don't tell me you can't remember it? It looked fantastic! Fantastic? No I can't remember anything! But I do remember that I promised myself that I would kiss her at midnight whatever happened. At midnight! It went on long after midnight. And you went upstairs with her after that as well. I did? boy you've been a naughty girl you let your knickers down I went upstairs? With Rhonda? My dream girl! I went upstairs with my dream girl! Yes, you lucky bastard. All we could do was look up her legs as you disappeared up the stairs with her. With Rhonda! Why can't I remember any of this? I am the eggman I are the eggmen I am the walrus You can’t remember anything? How do you feel? Feel? Yeah, feel you idiot! Did you lose your virginity? My virginity? Hmm... I don't know! I feel a bit Blue Jay Way. But, but Yes? But what? I do feel strangely satisfied... Unlike Diane... Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the English rain Here you are Mrs. Garnett, no need to worry about him. He's alright now. Just put him to bed and let him sleep it off. Is he alright? What's wrong with him? Just, you know, err, drunk. He's just drunk. Badly drunk? No, he passed out some time after midnight, but he'll be fine once he's slept it off. Too much free booze on offer to be honest. 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Well thank you very much for bringing him home, would you like a cup of tea before you go? No thanks, still got a bit of a walk back to get back to the married quarters myself. Of course you do! Well thank you again. It's Okay Mrs. Garnett Happy new year Mum. I am the eggman I are the eggmen I am the Walrus Wow I kissed Rhonda that must make her my girlfriend! Expert texpert choking smokers don’t you think the joker laughs at you There was no sign of my father. Mum got out a cigarette and wanted to know everything. I was in vino veritas, at least in spirit. Oh Mum I'm sorry I don’t really know what happened. You got drunk John that's what happened. Where did it happen Oh we gate crashed a couple of the parties, but Andy at the first one gave us pints of vodka when we just asked for beers. I thought I was being sophisticated like Jackie Kennedy. See how they smile, like pigs in a sty See how they snide, I'm crying To be honest I don’t remember much after we arrived at Bills. It was just round from the corner from where Diane and Rhonda live, they're neighbours. Apparently I kissed Rhonda at midnight. I thought you were going out with Diane? We're just good friends Mum. Good friends? Wasn’t she going to come to France with us? Oh yeah! I forgot... Semolina Pilchard climbing up the Eiffel tower Well you won't be going out again before you fly back to England, your Father's decided, so I hope kissing Rhonda was worth it! I can’t even remember kissing Rhonda. I bet it was fantastic. Like kissing Jane Asher... Elementary penguin 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett singing hari krishna Oh, by the way John, something funny happened yesterday afternoon. Two lads came round and asked if Fred and Alf were in. I told them they was no one with those names here. That was strange wasn’t it? Man you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allen Poe Err Mum, that's me and Dave. What do you mean that’s you and Dave? Fred and Alf; I'm Fred and Dave is Alf I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus, Oh no! And I gave you such beautiful names! Goo goo gajoob ga goo goo ga joob

63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Chapter Three 1968-10 Burnin of the Midnight Lamp Hey, are you a hippy? At last! Someone had noticed the efforts I'd been making with my personal appearance. Mind you entering a Yorkshire Mining Village secure in its musclepumping identity pomp and wearing a shiny gold kaftan (made from the best surplus cushioning material), which topped off hand-tailored, psychedelic cord trousers and I was completely bare-footed (I was so pleased with myself for daring to walk bare-footed on the burning concrete like a true Hippy). It was a truly toebruising way to try and change the world. The morning is red and the day is too there is nothing left here to meet me but the bells and food I drew myself up to the full height that my seventeen-year experience in the world gave me and, with my chest out, I puffed back proudly in reply; Yes! Well bugger off out of here then! We don't want your bloody sort in our village, you bloody ponce. But, I'm going to stay with my Uncle Dick in Dunscroft, just off the Broadway. Are you his nephew, John? Yes I am! They said you were a bloody ponce. Go on, be off with you then, but don't let me catch you dressed like that tomorrow! OK, thank you, I won't. And tell him Peter said hello, and that he thinks you're a bloody ponce. Um, OK. All my loneliness I have felt It's a little more than enough I had just turned left out of Stainforth's stone-built railway station on a roasting hot summer day, which quickly revealed that making Indian Kaftans out of the 3/8" cloth usually reserved for making sofas didn't leave you feeling comfortable enough to take on the local hecklers. I had no pearls of wisdom to dispense anyway, I was a hippy and had expected that the shiny gold of my rainments would be articulate enough for the miners and their families in Dunscroft to understand me. This sartorial strategy for changing the world was one that I was new to but I had invested a lot of thought in it. If I was going to live on my island I would need to know how to make clothes by the time I moved there, which would be when I was thirty five. I had seen that you could buy an island in the Seychelles for £35,000, 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett and I had calculated that I could save that up if I spent fifteen years as an airline pilot; one of the few interesting jobs you could get with Maths and Physics Alevels. If my gold Kaftan didn't immediately bring peace and love to Dunscroft it would still make my island really cool; except for those times when the sun was overhead. I could feel both the sweat gathering on my body under my gold rainments, and every single bit of grit on the pavements, all of which seemed determined to stick to my feet and test my faith as I started my two-mile walk to my Uncle Dicks house. Didn't they have street cleaners in Stainforth? to make a man feel something grand Well I wasn’t going to let a miner strike out my good mood. It was a summers day, it was half-term and I was a Hippy with money in my pocket and no shoes on my feet. I was looking for a record shop to celebrate the intoxicating freedom that came with being away from school. Morning! Morning Lad, Are you a hippy? Um, yes You'll be here to buy a record then? Err, yes, I am. What have you got that is new? Jimi Hendrix has a new single, we've got that. Great! Could I hear that please? I can see you burning the midnight lamp The shop was a furniture shop, actually depending on what prejudices you held in your head when you crossed the threshold it could have been one of several shops. It probably started life as an ironmonger's but now sold various things for the house, like sofas. I wondered whether, if I sat in the armchair, my Kaftan would merge into it like one of those trendy San Francisco psychedelic paintings by the Family Dogg. He went into the back and brought out that essential hippy household item the new Jimi Hendrix single. Burning of the midnight lamp, do you want to hear it? Suddenly Stainforth felt interesting again despite the motion of no confidence I'd received from the Branch Secretary of the NUM; they did have a Jimi Hendrix single in the village after all. Yes please! The smiling ocean of you is still hanging on my frowning wall 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett He lifted the lid to a box sitting on a chair that I hadn't noticed in the far corner of the room. It was an old beige Dansette, obviously past its better days. How old is the stylus on that thing? It's pretty new. Look don't worry, listen to the record, it's really good It really doesn't bother me too much at all It is just the ever falling dust I was doing a Bunch, buying essential supplies on the way back from the station ready for our attack on bourgeois respectability. I resumed my pilgrimage, or was it purgatory; my soul-cleansing walk anyway, much fortified by my essentially hippy provisions. The grit on the pavement was still a nightmare on my feet, which were beginning to go black from the ubiquitous coal dust. Anyway as a foot soldier in Jimi's army I should expect to slog it out from time to time. It was me and Jimi against the Village. that makes it so hard for me to see The forgotten ear-ring laying on the floor faces coldly towards the door And I continue to burn the midnight lamp; Alone Is that you at the door John? Yes it is Auntie Martha! Come back, come back, come back She burst out laughing It is you! Loneliness is such a drag Well get yourself inside John before your Uncle Dick sees you, he'll give you a good hiding for turning up looking like that. Oh OK Auntie. Can I get a bath my feet are killing me. You daft happoth, you haven't got any shoes! Doesn't our Anne look after you properly then? They are in my bag Auntie. So here I sit to face, that same old fire place getting ready for the same old explosion going through my mind It had taken me months to assemble the outfit and weeks to build up the insouciance to wear it and now it looked like provoking a strike on me from one of several miners; Including my own family. 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett and soon enough time will tell about the circus and the wishing well and someone will buy and sell for someone who will toll my bell Thank heavens I’d decided not to walk around with a hippy bell, that would have brought down even more grief; not buying one of them then. I continue to burn the same old lamp; Alone Yeah, right now I washed my feet and got permission to play Hendrix on the record player But just once John, I don’t want it playing when Dick gets back from the pit, more than my life’s worth to upset him at the end of a shift Can you hear me calling you - So lonely Gotta Blow my mind Yeah, Yeah, Lonely, Lonely, Lonely Blow My Mind, Yeah Honestly all those girls in Spain, especially the French-speaking Belgians, loved our hippy gear and yet the miners, my family, were mocking us hippies from the first moment that they saw me...

63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Chapter Four 1968-11 Jumpin Jack Flash So, what's the word of the day today then Fred? Orgasmic Servitude Nigel, that's my word of the day. Orgasmic Servitude? Yeah, you know we're locked up here all the time and we're all convinced that if we could just get a girlfriend everything would be alright, but I'm not so sure. What, you're saying we're all wankers!? Don’t you think? Am I really after a girl or just an orgasm? Seems like everything we say is about girls, but everything we do is about orgasms. Spring had sprung and the air was turning into the pollen-heavy bouquets of Summer; we were horny and restless and locked up. And they just lead to fights. At my last boarding school there were knife fights over girls as soon as the Germans started dating them. I wanted to ask a German girl out but it turned out that you had to ask her Mum first. No wonder German boys dated English girls whose mums were hundreds of miles away. Do you think this martial art thing, what do you call it? "Cat Hey"? Would that help then? "Kara Tay"? Yeah, you know, that thing Odd Job does in Goldfinger. What is it anyway? I was reading that it was technique for transferring energy using your bare hands. Transferring energy? What onto girls? How's that going to help? What do you mean? Watch it! Hang on! Is that the Stones new single? The chiming opening chords cut across the dorm and our rather pointless prebreakfast conversation. O listen to that; now that's a riff! Must be the Stones. Even though we had our transistors permanently playing in the background whilst we got ready for breakfast we were rarely grabbed by anything as potent as the opening riff to Jumpin Jack Flash. It was a cutting-edge conversation stopper like great singles always were. Nigel put the transistor radio on to the windowsill so that we could all hear it. That sounds as good as Satisfaction! Nothing's as good as Satisfaction Nigel smirked I was born in a cross-fire hurricane And I howled at my ma in the driving rain, 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett I listened intently and, whilst focused on the amazing drive of the rhythm of Jumpin Jack Flash, I started absent-mindedly musing on what the theory of Kara Tey actually meant. So you must run up to a brick wall and transfer your energy into it but not hit the wall. No broken bones then. I looked at my chunky and solid bedside chair, obviously designed to survive generations of challenging treatment by schoolboys and wondered. I cleared my clothes off it and put them on to the bed. Nigel I think KaraTay means you do something like this. I jumped in the air and raised one foot so it would land on the seat and prepared to withdraw it at the point of impact. I think you stamp on the chair but pull your foot back something like this... So saying my right foot hit the chair as my left foot hit the ground and I used the balance it provided to enable me to withdraw my right foot according to the theory And then... oh bugger! You've cracked the chair! You do know Kara Tea! I have cracked it! Oh no! How am I going to explain that? Tell them you are a Kara Tea expert! I don't think anyone will challenge you about it then! There was a guilty crack crawling across the chair seat. Nervously I lifted up the chair fearfully hoping that it would fall in two and reveal my prowess. It didn't. I lifted it up to find that although I had split the seat in two the construction was so sturdy that the legs, brace and back were still holding it together. It still looked like a chair. Well it's not broken. I just have to make sure it doesn't get noticed. But it's all right now, in fact, it's a gas! But it's all right. I'm Jumpin' Jack Flash, It's a Gas! Gas! Gas! Hey you two there's something more interesting than a stupid crack in a chair going on out here. Don't say it Nigel! What's going on, Pete? There's an ambulance pulled up outside the Kitchen. Blimey, are we going to get vegetables on their last legs as well now? Hang on two blokes are getting out and they're carrying something in with them. Something is definitely going on down by the kitchen. The kitchen? You don't think they're taking Cook to hospital? Oh yes please, with an infectious tropical disease! Please, please please take Cook to hospital! Hang on Bunch is down there as well. 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett What is going on Bunch? I think she's going! I was raised by a toothless, bearded hag, I was schooled with a strap right across my back, We scrambled on some clothes, abandoned the room where my transfer of energy had temporarily created a hole in the world and rushed downstairs. Nothing could be better than having Cook taken away, Hah! Ha! But it's all right now, in fact, it's a gas! But it's all right, I'm Jumpin' Jack Flash, It's a Gas! Gas! Gas! Cook was an alcoholic. I was never sure where her name Cook came from as that skill was completely missing from her entire kitchen repertoire. I say repertoire as I don't know any word to describe her cooking technique in its entirety, which amounted to this; 1) Take food from the larder (or possibly the fridge if ever located) 2) Place near heat 3) Leave near heat until the colour black predominates 4) Remove from heat Her five step technique left the final most complicated stage until last and she often forgot it completely due to its overwhelming complexity 5) Serve I was drowned, I was washed up and left for dead. I fell down to my feet and I saw they bled. Most days we Boarders, we small skinny band of unfed schoolboys, were usually left starving by this technique. We all developed various techniques for addressing this problem, part of which meant that school dinners were held in far higher esteem by us Boarders than by any of the day kids, who had the luxury of larders, pantries, fridges, freezers and Mums on tap back at home, or however it was that you used such mythical luxury items. We had even asked the headmaster to allow us to have plain bread instead of toast at breakfast, but this was not approved. Cornflakes became the single edible dish that emerged from the black hole formally known as "kitchen" of a morning. I frowned at the crumbs of a crust of bread. Yeah, yeah, yeah Did you hear the Stones and Jack Flash Bunch? No! Were they on the radio? Damn! No I heard the ambulance and rushed out to check. You never know! 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Bunch had a greater interest in the outcome of the Kitchen Follies as he refused to eat school dinners, which were pretty poor, but were still capable of being filed under that exoteric category; food. For lunch Bunch stuck to two slices of toast and a cigarettes, a diet he discovered at least twenty years before supermodels did. I was crowned with a spike right thru my head. But it's all right now, in fact, it's a gas! Then, suddenly, it was true. Cook emerged from the kitchen staircase held by the two surprisingly stocky ambulance men dressed in dark overalls. She was in a Straight Jacket. Bunch and I stared at each other, eyes feasting on the festival developing before us! Wow, a straight jacket, they really do exist! I've never seen one before! Oh yes! They are taking her away. Yes! Yes! Yes! I don't know where it started. Some of the younger kids had come down the kitchen staircase and some had come down the main staircase about twenty yards away at the other end of the building. The ambulance was outside the kitchen entrance and was parked just a few yards from the school gate, surrounded by around seven or eight of the younger boys. They started cheering. Then we all joined in. But it's all right, I'm Jumpin' Jack Flash, It's a Gas! Gas! Gas! Suddenly we were giddy with happiness at Cooks sad removal and cheered without fear or reserve, and certainly without remorse. We were thinking with our stomachs and about the possibility of the food, and maybe even the meals, that might be coming our way in the days ahead. If anyone had gone Hip Hip and tried to start Three Cheers the Hoorays! would have echoed all around Badger Hill. Suddenly the Headmaster joined us and his face was furious. Back inside boys and prepare for school! Well he knew he couldn't ask us to prepare for breakfast, but maybe now someone would, eventually. The cheers evaporated, replaced by an excited buzz of conversation, examining the range of our new expectations. Jumping Jack Flash, it's a gas It's a great riff Bunch, it already sounds like a classic. Jumping Jack Flash, its a gas Hey Fred, I like the idea of Orgasmic Servitude but here we owe an even greater debt of servitude to our stomachs... No greater service was ever done to her art by any Cook than by being taken away to the lunatic asylum. 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Definitely! You do realise that we might start getting meals here! Meals! Jumping Jack Flash, its a gas I think Cook escaped because she heard that you'd taught yourself KaraT Ea Well I won't have to start splitting chairs for firewood now. Jumping Jack Flash, its a gas Oh Fred, I meant to tell you, my Dad gave me an original kaftan from the 1940s, it is purple and decorated by hand. It was given to him in India but he doesn't wear it. I've tried it on but I'm not going to wear it, I look like a ponce, but it would please me if you did Fred. I think it will suit you. And so my one true authentic, and also my most treasured, item of hippie clothing passed into my possession on the day that food once again became a possibility at Archies. Was boarding school about to become enjoyable.

63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Chapter Five 1968-13 WHITE LIGHT WHITE HEAT What should we put on now? Why don't we play Forever Changes again? Come on Fred we've only got an hour left and you play it all the time! But its perfect music for kissing Jennie giggled as she did It's all good music for kissing. OK, I'm going to put on White Light White Heat then. Just coz you like The Gift Just coz you like Sister Ray Do you think they'll ever make The Gift an English set text? Maybe in Wales Maybe for Whales She looked at me with a lascivious grin. Are you pleased to see me then? I blushed but covered it with a joke I'm pleased to kiss you again! We were in Jennie's parents’ front room, alone with some albums. It was Saturday evening and this was wonderfully rich entertainment for an Archies Boarder. Playing albums and kissing a girl, instead of playing albums and thinking of kissing a girl; and the records sounded different when you were kissing too, when you noticed them. I had official permission to be out, even though Sweeney had kept me waiting for ages before allowing me out. In Germany all we had to do was sign the exeat book and then go out. As long as you came back, and you weren't arrested, nobody minded. Here you needed formal, oral, permission in person, often following an interview. Sweeney had made me wait almost until 7pm (half an hour!) before seeing me. And he made me say, on the record, that I was going to see my girlfriend so I then had to humorously debate the merits of girls with him; torture. Jennie lived at the other end of town on Avenue Road, so I would have to get a bus there. And her parents would be back home by 9pm so I was already running out of time when Sweeney finally let me go out. White White White White

Light Light going... Light Light going blind

But it was Sister Ray that was great; 17 minutes and 27 seconds long and it starts 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett like it is there for the long haul. Mo Tucker's groin-driven percussion was perfect for the kind of long-kissing so redolent of the teenage experience in the sixties. Jennie's Dad was a policemen and would have me arrested if I he knew how I touched his precious daughter. Somehow kissing was exempted from this, as though we were living life by the Hays Code; as long you have one foot on the floor you don't need a contraceptive. So kissing was socially acceptable as long as it had no effect on your groin. Kissing Jennie whilst at Archies then was like escaping from prison and breaking into a police station to kiss one of the internees; it was exciting but half the town was looking for you. On the other hand everyone said we looked like John and Yoko together so we'd probably end up kissing each other in jail anyway. Jennie was doing A level Art and English and I was jealous, it seemed so exciting to read Hardy and Shakespeare. It turned out that Hardy's mythical Wessex was actually Dorset, which was where I was born. Like several side-long tracks coming out that year, Bunch loved Parthenogenesis by Canned Heat, Sister Ray was played by a band who could play for hours and had developed tunes and styles that let them do that. I wasn’t sure that it was as good as "European Son to Delmore Schwartz" as a piece of music but as a soundtrack for kissing teenagers it was primus inter pares. With Jennie, it meant we could kiss and kiss and kiss and remain in the safe zone. I had a raging erection, but somehow we always managed to ignore that as we couldn't do anything with it anyway; not this side of jail. Mo was thumping the drums relentlessly, John Cale, whose album this is, starts off a scuzzy distort organ figure and then with Lou Reed's shrieking guitar. But played together as a soundtrack it's surround sound was quite comforting. Like hiding away in the safest sewer in New York City. Anyway without the complicated lyrics that Arthur Lee throws at you on Forever Changes maybe the teenagers could be the times in the front room of Avenue Road. I started grinding into Jennie in my excitement and then; I started ejaculating. My kissing got more intense as I came and Jennie returned my ardour with her tongue. But this wasn’t John and Yoko at Tittenhurst. This was Fred and Jennie on the carpet and I was having my first orgasmic ejaculation with a girl deep inside my school trousers. The inevitable exploding was wonderful and I just went with it as the White Jam filled my pants and started leaking on to my trousers as the plastic kept up its steady rhythm. I started grunting and Jennie stopped kissing me. Are you coming? Over me? Uunngghh... My eyes were closed as I was deep in this unique sensation. My body jerked with the endless ejaculatory pleasure that Jennie had just lead me to. Well you could have waited for me, Jennie joked. Oh my God! You're soaking wet, get your trousers off right away, young man! 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett The irony was as delicious as the orgasm. Normally I couldn't take my trousers off with Jennie in case something happened, but now something had happened and I had to get my trousers as fast as possible so that nothing else could happen. Very confusing this ejaculation business. In this case it was immediately followed by some extreme washing. Jennie sent me upstairs to the bathroom to clean myself up whilst she tried to clean and dry my trousers. We had about thirty minutes. Funny that my one real Music Hall experience was to the Velvet Underground. Jennies Velvet remained underground as she never came whilst I had inevitably exploded to the synchronic pleasure of plastic and girls. I forgot to tell you my parents want to have dinner with you before you go back to school, as you'll be going away for the summer. Really? Can I sit down with them without trousers? I'd better go else I'll miss the last bus. The last bus has already gone it's a Saturday night. What! How will I get back to school? Well you can walk. Walk! I'll get back late and who knows what they will do to me. It won't be that bad. Will it? Might be. If I could bike back, I might make it. After some negotiations Jennie's younger brother agreed to lend me his bike, as long as I rode it back to him the next day so he could cycle into school on Monday. I promised I would bring it right back, if I was let out again. So at 10.25 I set off to ride across town for a 10.30 deadline. I was bound to miss it but if you could get into bed without being seen you could always make up some story. Like you had been chatting up the new young cook who was straight out of catering college and was cheap to hire; unlike the old cook. Cheap and sober; unlike the old cook. And sexy in the way that all twenty-three year old girls are sexy when you are a locked sixteen year old boy; Bunch talked to her a lot. Ian just smiled. You're in trouble Fred Why? I got in here without anyone seeing me. Yeah well, Sweeney came in here after lights out. Sweeney came in here! Why? I went and got him What! You went and got Sweeney, why? You know it'll get me into trouble if I'm not in. It was a matter of life and death. Life and death! What happened? Well you know how Townsend has pictures of naked girls in his locker? Does he? I was really interested in that, pictures of naked girls were fantastically hard to get 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett hold of and it turned out I was sleeping just three foot from a masturbatory load of them. Well he likes wanking over them; all the time! Five or six time a night in fact. It's really noisy and he drives us mad. He masturbates all the time does he? What has this got to do with me being in trouble? Well he passed out and fell out of bed. We left him on the floor for five minutes because we didn't want to get you into trouble. And we don't like him much anyway. But then we thought he might be dead and the dorm elected me to go and get Sweeney. We didn’t want to get Sweeney but we couldn't leave him to die. I undressed yet again and jumped into bed. Ten minutes later Sweeney arrived I was sleepy. I was exhausted. I'd played soccer, ejaculated over a girl, had dinner with her parents, cycled madly across York in a vain attempt to avoid retribution and found that my dorm had been traumatized over a different kind of ejaculatory experience. Garnett, get your dressing gown on and go down to my room. It's well after 11 sir, can this wait for the morning? Don't be impertinent boy! Yes sir. Let me smell your breathe, you're talking like a drunk; okay perhaps not. you've not been drinking have you Garnett? No sir! So Garnett you have let us down once again, as you do time and again. I went to your room in an Emergency, there are young and impressionable second year boys in your charge and they were confused when Townsend fell out of bed, and they thought he was dead. Young Brown was in quite a state, as any thirteen year old would be in the face of death. He was left to deal with your responsibilities It was 10.35 and you should have been in bed five minutes before than that. Five minutes, couldn't Townsend have stopped wanking five minutes earlier? And in my moment of need you were missing, just like the feckless character you are! But Sir! Silence! When I want a comment from you I will ask you for it. As you weren't around, and as all you sixth form boys like going to the University... I was having dinner with my girlfriends’ parents as I told you sir. Silence! As you boys like going to the University I did a roll call. And Herbier Goins and the Deputy Head Boy were also missing. Oh not PJ! PJ was out too! And I'd got him into trouble. Bugger! I asked them why they were late and if they had seen you at the University. They apologised and said that they had been drinking at the University but that you hadn't and that you had come back early so as not to be late for roll call. 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett What! Oh no PJ and Herbie had tried to take all the blame and cover for me, but they had just made it worse. So Garnett, not only do you come back late but you come up with one of the worse lies I've ever heard anyone come out with in order to cover themselves. No wonder the University is trying to exclude townsfolk if people like you go there to get drunk. At least Harvey and Goins had the guts to own up to their mistake, unlike you. Sorry sir, yes sir. Now get up to bed and get some sleep. You're gated to the end of term. But sir! Don’t make it worse Garnett! And apologise to the boys in your care for letting them down so badly in their hour of need. We will review your suitability to be dorm monitor next term. At least you're not drunk. If you'd had a drink we would probably have had to expel you permanently.

63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Chapter Six 1968-14 It's All too Much To Your Mother The colours were pastel, flickering, flashing, far more intense graphically than the jump-cut black and white of Hard Days Night which had leapt forward from the Angry Young Men and left the kitchen sink behind as they physically traveled east to Hamburg and mentally traveled West to the Teenage Mood Dream that lined Route 66. All roads lead to California back then. Now everything had gone underwater. It's All too much The cartoons were retro, nineteenth century Edwardiana spiced with Pepper, full of imagined characters from the Music Hall of the Lonely Hearts The boys psychedelic message was full on. The Beatles weirdest hit single made pastel, where Ringo leads the boys infinitely on, across the many oceans of our ever expanding universe, with only the Brownian motion that is scouse deadpan to power their Yellow Submarine. Its All too much A life-affirming wit that keeps us all sane as we cope with the many futures we had to face in the sixties. The Music Hall on Acid magnum opus Yellow Submarine (Full speed ahead it is Sergeant said that tit John Lennon as though they were all onboard an Alma Cogan tea party) had spawned their psychedelic masterpiece It's All Too Much, and we would still be home for Tea; made by Mum of course. And everywhere its what you make For us to take its all too much Floating down the stream of time In Germany last year we had sung Ein gelbe untersee bot as part of our generic taunting after the World Cup. To be precise; We won the World Cup We won world war one We won world war two and we all live in eine gelbe untersee bot Translate hearing that into being a German and think about it. Surprising that there were only two knife stabbings by German lads that summer of 66 and they were only because English Girls are Easy. When I look in to your eyes You're always there for me Wow what do you think Dave? 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett I think that's the best thing The Beatles ever did. Better than Hard Days Night? Much better! It's in colour, lots of colours, the Beatles Bus finally turned into colour. What about that last song; "with their long blond hair and your eyes of blue" that could be about you, or my girlfriend in Spain or even John Lennon's Well that was the best one wasn’t it? George and lots of guitars, lots and lots of guitars. And it went on and on and now there are no more Blue Meanies to worry about. And the cartoons were amazing weren't they? And the more I go inside the more there is to see We had both stood up at the end to watch It's All Too Much as it felt like a coda to the film; a summa cum laudum of the themes of the film, brilliant graphics and brilliant music. And the Blue Meanies had been defeated and good music was going to cheer the world up; exactly as it was doing week in, week out in the real world. It’s all to much for me to take the love that’s shining all around you Yellow Submarine had arrived in the middle of the summer holidays like a memo reminding us not to forget about psychedelia. And, after the poorly received Magical Mystery Tour, it rescued the Beatles reputation as wizards; true stars whose touch was infallible. You really needed to be an acid Musical Hall casualty to appreciate Magical Mystery Tour, even though it contained Lennon's greatest song. I hadn't seen it anyway as I was getting drunk in Germany at the time, a country that wasn't even showing it! And we had missed Our World; globetrotting had its drawbacks Everywhere, it's what you make For us to take, it's all too much Somehow this glorious cartoon managed to appeal to everyone who saw it. Young kids loved its very cartoonish quality, parents found it's camp quality rendered it as kitsch memorabilia. Older kids loved the underlying messages teased from mid-period Beatles (The Word is Love) and the rampant psychedelia of the cartoons. As it empathised with our own struggle against our very own Blue Meanies, the British Establishment, who had been trying to shut down our music ever since the war, we thrilled at the ingenious open-hearted way that the Beatles solved problems. Lucky for us the Beatles had unbottled musical talent right across Britain and now, right now in 1968, it was gushing forth whilst the Beatles got it together in India and covered Humph's Bad Penny Blues as Lady Madonna. Now, in the middle of 1968, hundreds of bands were rushing to the barricades to take up and expand the liberated multi-coloured banners of British beat music and turn it into the shared experience of live concerts; Submarine ends with a live 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett concert at a bandstand but its arch elegiac Edwardiana turns into a flowing multimedia performance which told us we were; Floating down the stream of time, of life to life with me Makes no difference where you are or where you'd like to be Indeed it really was "All Too Much" and the Beatles had added four glorious new songs into the mix at last, not just Georges psychedelic tribute to Edward Lear, English nonsense, and the sorrowful Merseys. Hey Bulldog, snapping at the Blue Meanie's enforcers with the comeback "childlike, no-one understands"; dog off. They were only Northern Songs, but looking up at the screen at the Odeon in Harrogate it really was all too much for us provincial universals and our cups did runneth over. When were lonely we could talk to the Beatles and they would talk to us. We didn’t have to listen to our fears; Help? They'll help somebody to love. It's all too much for me to take The love that's shining all around here The only question was, what did it all mean? I felt like a nowhere man at School, if it wasn't for the football, the girls and the music, all of which took place on Saturday, I'd have no plans and no friends and no toast. All the world is birthday cake, So take a piece, but not too much Now they were not releasing records every couple of months I'd have to begin to think for myself, with a little help from my friends, Bunch and Baggy. We were a real band of lonely hearts all right, not much cartoonish fun to be found in a single-sex Yorkshire boarding school. Not sure about Ian, even though we were a great partnership on the football field, last season he'd scored 35 goals and I had helped make many of them whilst scoring 23, but he always had a new girlfriend, or was stealing yours; Ex-rated was our Ian. But then he lived in London and wore metallic coloured big girls blouses, which he invited them to put their hands in. Sail me on a silver sun, for I know that I'm free Show me that I'm everywhere, and get me home for tea What did you think of the story Dave? It was very strange, but funny. I think the way they told it was great. Especially when the submarine set off from Liverpool. You never knew where it would turn up! Underground, overground, corridors, minds, gardens... It's all too much for me to see A love that's shining all around here 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Do you think we should try something like that in the drama competition? Don't know how you could do it. But it sounds like it might be fun! The more I am, the less I know And what I do is all too much That's what was missing last year wasn't it? What? Fun! Did you have fun doing the play last year? No, it was a boring play and we didn't know what it meant. It was just hard work. It wasn't fun at all. It's all too much for me to take The love that's shining all around you Sorry Dave, I found it really boring too, but I had no choice, I was given the play and I was a new boy. Yeah; me too. Well I don't have to do it this year I'm too old now! I'm not. I bet Frith asks me again. Well if he does I'll do something that is fun for the kids acting in it. Well we'd better get back home for tea, what do you fancy? Peanut butter sandwiches and cream cake. Everywhere, it's what you make For us to take, it's all too much Yeah! What a good idea! And coffee! And coffee! It's too much.....It's too much

63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Chapter Seven 1968-16 The Revolutionary Mrs. Robinson So how did you city boys like working out here in the fields? AARRGGGHHH!!! We'd fought mud, wind and rain for our evening meals. There wasn’t much that was festive about this harvest. Baggy was in his element though. With his loadbearing hips he looked more of the gemutlickeit German Burgher than even his rosy red-cheeked Dad, who had a debonair look to match his easy-going manner. Baggy might be crap at sports but he was a Trojan in the fields and a beefeater when he got home. Bunch and I were wimps in comparison. We looked at each other, we knew we hadn't really earnt our food. I hadn't a clue how to load cut wheat on to a cart, which was what I had been trying to do for most of the day. Each load collapsed in my pitchfork just as readily as the previous one had and I spent most of the time making sure I wasn't causing the loss of any ears of wheat, which is what we were there to harvest. But Baggy's Mum, Barbara, was serving a steaming beef stew on to our plates and we weren't going to say no to a warming belly fill after the travails of our miserable day. Bunch got in first; It was cold and wet sir, I enjoyed it more last year, that was a sunny Autumn. Yes I know that. Well we were unlucky, good crop, poor harvest. I'll need you all out early tomorrow to get this finished, so tuck in and get to bed early. You're probably aching all over I should think? Yes!! So we have some hot water ready if you want baths. You'll sleep quickly after that I can assure you. Yes please, we chorused Now Fred, Graham tells me that you think all this Pop Music is revolutionary. You say you want a Revolution well you know Peter, Baggy's Dad, had been in the Communist Party in Berlin before the second world war. He'd managed to get out of Germany and, eventually, he become a farmer in Yorkshire. He wasn't allowed to work on anything sensitive during the war, but he wasn't interned for long either and he had learnt how to run a farm as that was the one freedom offered to him. Now he owned two farms. We all want to change the world How is this Pop Music revolutionary then young Fred? Well, Mr. Gross, Peter... 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Well Peter, I wouldn't say all Pop Music is revolutionary exactly but some of it really is heading in that direction. you tell me that it's evolution well you know we all want to change the world And what do you mean by revolutionary? Well The Beatles have just released a song called Revolution You think that the Beatles are revolutionary then? Well they have released it on their own record label, Apple Their own record label you say, well that's very interesting! So would you say that they are trying to own their means of production? But when you talk about destruction Don’t you know that you can count me out I think they are Peter. They have issued a manifesto in the papers saying that any artist, well anyone with an interesting idea in fact, any artist who can't get a bank loan for their creative work can come to them and pitch their ideas; to The Beatles! If they like the idea they will give you the money to get on with it, isn't that amazing? Don’t you know that it's gonna be All right So you think the Beatles are setting up a Revolutionary Bank? Yes! That's a very good way of putting it. A Revolutionary Bank! And they have Magic Alex who invents all sort of new Electronics. They think Apple Electronics will change the world. All right And they released Yellow Submarine this summer where they showed how to defeat the Blue Meanies, who were stopping music being played and making everyone very miserable. The Blue Meanies?, They defeated the Blue Meanies? Yeah, the Blue Meanies who are stopping music being played. Ah! like the Pirate radio stations being stopped this summer. However I think they'd have more chance in a Red Submarine if they are revolutionaries, don't you think? Isn't Yellow the colour of cowardice in most countries? All right Yeah, but Ringo makes everything all right again. Anyway the Beatles are doing loads of revolutionary things, apart from releasing revolutionary films; and their records of course. Really? They are, are they? Well this all sounds very interesting, and it might 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett have possibilities if they really are doing something about the means of production. However personally I'm not sure if I'd define it as revolutionary, it sounds a bit hit and miss to me, somewhat like the Weimar Republic. Where are they based these revolutionary Beatles of yours? you say you got a real solution we'd all love to see the plan Apple is in London, it's in Saville Row, Peter. Saville Row? Saville Row is the centre of your English Revolution? Yes, Peter, that's what we are hoping. Either that or a cottage in the country if Traffic ever get it together. So you have two strongholds for your revolution lined up, and one is in London and the other one... where is the cottage? Berkshire, near the Poppies. you ask me for a contribution Well Fred it sounds like you are very well informed on the revolutionary tendency in Pop Music, and its various strategies and tactics. Are you going to join them? Well Bunch and I are going to visit Apple as soon as we can get down to London Peter. Really! So you have a revolutionary idea that you need money from The Beatles for? No Peter, we're not that revolutionary, we're school boys locked up in Archies most of the time. Except when I get you a weekend exeat to come and farm with me Oh Yes! We'd like to thank you again for talking to Headmaster Frith, and getting us out here, that was just what we needed, a real break from school. well you know we're all doing what we can So why are you going to Apple then, if you aren't revolutionaries? Not revolutionaries yet Peter, we have to graduate school first and then we can become Hippies, and revolutionaries. Of course said Peter with a wry smile, Peter had to leave University without a degree because of the Nazis so he had some sympathy with our desire to finish our education before becoming revolutionaries. Well Apple have the coolest clothes in England at the Apple Boutique. It's a nightmare trying to get hippy clothes in York, there's just that opportunist Arthur and his little upstairs shop above the market. We know better tailors than he does, which is ridiculous! And Ian can find better material than Arthur can, added Bunch. 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Yeah, isn't that ridiculous? And so can Ann. She know all sorts of trendy cutting and sewing techniques as well. Arthur just buys some colorful furniture covering and hope's for the best, but York tailor's don't know any of the right techniques yet, except for making suits. I mean how hippy is that? Well it is if it's a Regency Cut like your suit, Fred. Yeah OK, true! But Arthur is so hopeless, I bet he'll go bust! I hope not, that would be even worse than not having him around; he should employ Ann. But if you want money for people with minds that hate Don't you know brother You'll have to wait So the reason that we are going to Apple, Peter, is that their Boutique is the most amazing one in England. I looked at Bunch Probably the best boutique in the World as it's the Beatles? And The Fool... Oh Yeah! The Beatles and The Fool; isn't Marieke gorgeous? Anyway we'll finally be able to buy some decent gear without tripping all over York trying to get it made by tailors who only know how to cut suits. Don’t you know that it's gonna be So you don’t have any revolutionary ideas for The Beatle then? Well Peter, not yet, but I am writing a revolutionary play! You are! Good boy, that sounds more like it! What's it called? All right! Well I was going to call it Whiskey Golf Hotel Echo, but your son thinks the idea is clichéd, says someone called Brecht has done it all before. Oh yes Bertholt, so you have some alienation devices in your mise en scene then? Err, yes, of course! But now I am going to call it "Hackneyed; According to Gandalf" Irony, that's a good alienation device. All right! Phew! Finally slipped one past Peter! Arguing with him was really tough. He'd been hunted by the Nazis and interrogated by the British establishment, and survived both. And he'd been in the same revolutionary Communist Party cell as Wilhelm Reich. Worst of all when you quoted people at him it turned out he'd known them personally. What a nightmare! I decided I really wanted Peter to think that I was a real revolutionary, and that all 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett my favourite bands were as well. At last I was getting somewhere. All right! So do you think the Beatles are revolutionary Peter? Well I don't think these Beatles boys are so revolutionary in their songs. Personally I prefer Simon and Garfunkel. What! Simon and Garfunkel? Yes, they have interesting lyrics and care about the characters they write about. Well I agree that Bookends is a great album, it's the one I've been waiting for them to write since I first saw them live on Dutch TV three years ago. Oh, so you like them too then? Yes Peter, I have three of their albums, Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme, Homeward Bound... Ah, yes, Barbara likes that one. She is the Rock around here after all! And Bookends of course. What's your favourite song on Bookends then Fred? America! You don't like Mrs. Robinson? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you? Exactly. To be more precise, Simon and Garfunkel create spaces in their songs where you can think and reflect, and that's what you need to do, Fred. Reflect; and think a bit more about what you do as well. You should read the Mass Psychology of Fascism by Reich, if you want to understand politics and become a real revolutionary. Oh! OK Peter, just Wilhelm Reich or is there anyone else I should be reading then? I think George Grosz and Karl Krauss will come back into favour, and your own Orwell of course, and Wilhelm Reich. And he knew how to burst clouds. That would have be helpful for our Harvest this year. That would be fakin it What a dilemma…

63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Chapter Eight 1968-18-Yer Blues Err Fred, Bunch, have you got a moment? Yes I'm lonely wanna die Brown, not my favourite third year since the masturbation of life and death incident the previous summer, poked his head around the Music Room door. What is it? Look I am really sorry, I know I didn't ask your permission but it's my birthday and my parents bought it for me anyway. Bought what? You've got an album? Err, yeah, I should have checked with you first in case you've got it but I couldn't say no when my parents offered to buy it for me. It’s too expensive to buy on pocket money. Yes I'm lonely wanna die Too expensive? It's not a double album is it? Um, yeah, it is a double album. You've got a double album? Then come in! It's not the, it is! You've got The Beatles! Yeah, sorry, but I couldn't miss the opportunity, you haven't got it have you? If I ain't dead already Ooh girl you know the reason why. No we have not! Come on in Brown. Oh great, you mean I get to play it? You can play it all day as far as we are concerned! Brown gave me a small smile, part apology, part hope, so I responded as best I could. Look this is really great of you Brown, thanks; we'd already decided that we would have to wait til Christmas to buy The Beatles so this is really appreciated. Thanks. He beamed back at me with evident relief. Can I put it on? It's your birthday; you can do what you want. Oh great, I was so worried that you wouldn't let me play it and then I would have to wait til the holidays to hear it. In the morning wanna die 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Hey, let's hear all of it right now! Mind you you'll have to leave the album in the Music Room, you know the rules. Yeah I know, but I'll take the poster with me if that is alright. Of course. They're your posters after all. In the evening wanna die This time Ringo got to kick off the album with some pounding drums, sounds like a jet taking off and loads of pounding piano, Paul in sneering Elvis mode. It was a major pisstake, mostly of the USA, with lots of musical puns and lyrically funnies; great start as usual. We were all impressed as it burst out of the speakers and Bunch loved the segue into Dear Prudence which however didn't grab me that strongly as a track. By the end of side one we had agreed that George had stolen the honours with a great rock track, While My Guitar Gently Weeps, which there had already been a strong buzz about because of the presence of the Lord Clapton. If I ain't dead already Ooh girl you know the reason why. Side two, by comparison, was laid back with several acoustic tracks, which Brown didn't seem so interested in. We didn't mind as it was his birthday and he was celebrating it by letting us listen to The Beatles double album with him. I suddenly found a new patience in dealing with him. My mother was of the sky My father was of the earth He didn't have to wait long before things picked up though, as the Beatles began an impromptu chorus of celebration, just for him. You say it's your birthday Well here's to you boy How cool is that, the Beatles singing you happy birthday on your birthday? Yeah it is cool. And it is a great song. Lucky lad, and side three continued in this vein by sliding into the classic Yer Blues which Bunch, with his developing taste for all things Blues, got straight away. But I am of the universe And you know what it's worth We played the "White Album" all the way through, even Number 9 and Good Night. It was a surfeit of 30 tracks that was too difficult, or perhaps too rich, or maybe just many, to take in first time around. Just like Sgt Pepper had been, but for very different reasons. 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett Phew! What do you reckon? Yer Blues or Guitar Gently Weeps? Got to be Birthday! No Yer Blues. I reckon Guitar, although I really like the opening track. Do you mind if I go now? No Brown, that's fine, you can go. It is your birthday after all! When can I hear it again? Well we are going out tonight so if you meet us after dinner I'll set it up for you. Oh thanks that would be great. Thanks! I guess you'll want to play it to all your friends? If I could? Can I? Okay, I don't see why not. But no more than three of them in the room at any time, rules are rules. We will be back by nine and we'll want the room back then, so make the most of it. Thanks Fred! Thanks Bunch! Wow I really appreciate this. Brown slipped out the door smiling, leaving all things White with us. We were very pleased with ourselves, even if we were a little bit guilty that it was us who were controlling the destiny of his birthday. You know what we've become? I said to Bunch The lucky recipients of The Beatles? Yes, that too! But I think we have become the Central Committee for the Purchasing of Records... Hah! Back in the USSR! I'm lonely, wanna die If I ain't dead already Ooh girl you know the reason why. The following week Headmaster Frith's son was back from Cambridge and Bunch and I were determined to initiate him into the wondrous mysteries of the Music Room and the glories of Beefheart, Beatles and the Byrds. We had heard he was a musician and we were keen to get his opinion, given how dramatically we felt music had changed during 1968, especially the resurgence of American artists through the innovations of the West Coast Bands. I was especially proud of my Jefferson Airplane single White Rabbit and we had even bought an import copy of Beefheart's second album Strictly Personal which we took to be the height of cool and were desperate to play for him. The eagle picks my eye The worm he licks my bones We got him down to the Music Room the following weekend and played him some of our legendary collection. He wasn't much impressed. In fact he wasn't impressed at all. There wasn't enough blues and Fleetwood Mac wouldn't do it for 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett him. Nor did the opportunity to hear The Beatles double all the way through thrill him either. Curiously though he did want to hear Number 9. I feel so suicidal Just like Dylan's Mr. Jones You know you two need some authentic music. Let me go back to my Dads and get you something real to listen to. Our mouths opened ready to be disputatious. Then we looked at each other. A musician, an authentic musician, who was at Cambridge, Christ that's two strikes before we open our mouths! Perhaps agreement was the better part of disputation. OK Fred, bring out your best stuff! Oh I don't have to do that with you two. Hang on a sec I'll be right back. Lonely wanna die If I ain't dead already Ooh girl you know the reason why. There listen to that, now that's real music. So Fred Frith put on Mississippi John Hurt for us and we listened to that for the best part of the next hour. It was good, it was authentic, but I didn't think it was revolutionary. Black cloud crossed my mind Blue mist round my soul Actually it was depressing. Boarding School is depressing enough, well less depressing now we had young Janet the cook to cheer us up, but we still had to steal money from the Tuck Shop to buy albums. And listen up, Mr. Fred Frith the Cambridge undergraduate; bloody imports were a damn sight harder to get hold of than you could possibly understand, thank you very much! So a kind word about our taste would be, well it would be kind; sob. Feel so suicidal Even hate my rock and roll So what do you two think? Different to what we usually listen to. Yeah, different, but good. I can hear what Clapton heard in it. Yeah; depressing though. No it's not depressing, it's real. It isn't fake like the Pop Music you listen to. Now I can see that you two love your music, you just have to listen a bit deeper. Tell you what. You've got a good record player so what if I lend you the album until you break up next week? You can get to know it properly, you need to meditate a 63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]

63/68 A Visceral History – 8 chapters from 68 by Fred Garnett bit when you listen to it, I'm probably a distraction. Really? Yeah, what do you say... Wanna die yeah wanna die If I ain't dead already Ooh girl you know the reason why Well! Thank you very much Cambridge Fred Hurt! Yeah, you can tell he doesn't have to manage the record buying behaviour of a bunch of tone-deaf second years. And their parents. Yeah and their bloody parents! I bet he gets to buy his records with his own money! Lucky bastard!

63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 21-38 – August 31 2009 [email protected]